I’m a big fan of Hunza G bikinis. One size, sensible bottoms (I.e. the ones that do actually cover your bottom). So imagine my distress when, this month, not one but two sets lost their crinkle. 😭. I’m a stoic, though so instead of mourning and setting about replacing them, I just took it as a sign that summer is done.

There are others.

Fake boobs, ridiculous nails, too much flesh on show

Enough already! I should have expected it. In Ibiza for the wedding but spending most of the day around the pool and I’ve seen enough; and it’s not even because I’m comparing myself and coming up short. Ok, well it might be a bit of that.

And that’s another sign, lying around by the pool when I should be getting in a car to explore all the amazing hidden beaches. Cannot be arsed. Don’t tell my daughter if you see her, she‘ll be very disappointed in me.

The Telly

Finally. Soon, there will be something worth watching. Traitors, Slow Horses, and most exciting of all a new adaptation of East of Eden. The latter had better not be a disappointment as this is one of my favourite books of all time.

Not Mobland - how they managed to scrabble together another series with Helen Mirren and James Bond and their terrible Irish accents is beyond me.

Speaking of scrabble, though, now there’s an autumn/winter activity I love. Shame the competition moved out and the husband can’t spell.

Cardigans

Remember the one you were supposed to club together to buy me for my birthday? Well number one son bought it, but as my birthday was 27th June, during the fifteenth of thirty five heatwaves, it hasn’t been worn yet. Soon will be.

Now have my eyes on this.

The End of Days

Specifically the end of days of prevarication and rewriting. I’m going to approach a few agents. It feels as though I’m about to walk down Oxford Street naked. Ouch what an awful thought, scratch that from your memory. Instead work with this, it feels as though I’m about to deliver a Kae Tempest poem to a congregation I hardly know at the wedding of a very dear friend.

It went well, thank you for asking.

The Last Straw

You no longer have to pretend that a bag made of straw with a big fat logo stamped onto it is a sensible vehicle for carrying your earthly possessions around.

As though anyone in their right mind would think, oh, October in London, that will be perfect for taking my iPad, reading book, reading glasses, tube pass (which is free for me now by the way), etc etc when I take my next trip on the tube. (I’m struggling to think of an example as to where I’ll be going now I’m retired ….. oh, I know, it‘s for my inaugural meeting with my harper Collins connected agent). 😍

It’s coming home, I’m going out

Bloody football season. Our Covid era Labrador hates it. The minute football comes on the tv he scarpers to another room. Though he has always been an bit odd.

As an aside

I’m typing this at the pool and a girl has just walked past me in the skimpiest of striped shorts, a bikini top and knee high cowboy boots, I refer you to paragraph two. Enough.

The Culture Slot

I’m reading Rebecca. Finished Country People by Daniel Mason. Made me laugh out loud then it got weird.

I’m watching season 5 of slow horses to catch up. Also, the sun set in Ibiza. Magical.

I’m listening to The Book Club episode about Rebecca. I know, not very imaginative.

Right, that’s it folks, bring on the Autumn.

Ten years ago, my husband was approached about a great job. It was in LA. I put my foot firmly down. Two years later, we went for a holiday and I was proven right. No way could I live in LA.

I gather Harry and Meghan are returning to the UK, albeit “outside” of London (though I suspect it won’t be as far outside as, say, Barnsley, or Wigan). Can’t believe it’s taken them so long. The papers are saying it’s something to do with a job, but here are the more likely reasons.

Weather

Four seasons. Multiple options for outfit changes. Who doesn’t love a great coat. The UK weather is reliably unreliable but it does change. Also gives us something to talk about.

Walking

How lovely is it to be able to step out of your door and say “I’ll walk there”, or “let’s go for a walk”. When we visited LA, no-one seemed to walk anywhere. And public transport is non-existent, so you’re all forced into those massive cars and despite the freeway having multiple lanes, the traffic is horrendous.

Pubs

Other pubs are available. No-one does pubs like the UK, even outside of London. Especially outside of London. What do you do after work on a Thursday or at 6 on a Sunday once you’ve put the roast potatoes in the oven if there isn’t a pub round the corner?

The Tube

I LOVE the Tube. Especially now I travel for free. It’s hot, it’s smelly, but it gets you from A to B. FAST. (Usually).

The Telly

I know, we get the same TV everywhere now that Netflix abounds, but do the Americans really get Motherland, Slow Horses, Small Prophets (or anything starring Michael Palin)?They can keep Jack Ryan, we have Jackson Lamb. And would Ludwig ever get made in LA?

Europe

By which obviously I mean continental Europe. It’s so close. And every country is different and they all have their lovely idiosyncrasies, and languages and history. Only downside is that popular spots are sometimes overrun with bloody Americans who realise there is so much more to offer here.

BBC Radio

Nick Grimshaw’s breakfast show. Jonny Diamond on PM. Katy Razzall on the media, Mark & Lard talking nonsense. No other country in the world has anything like it.

The Culture Slot

I’m reading: well, still going with Middlemarch. Lucky old George Elliott getting to be an omniscient narrator getting in the heads of all her characters, and with no one telling her to rein it in a bit. And thank heavens they didn’t. On the other hand - sh this is a secret, don’t tell anyone else - I struggled with Land (Maggie O’Farrell). Half way through I had to skip to the last quarter, when things seemed to get moving, skim read ti find out what happened then went back to where I’d left off to enjoy the beautiful prose but found that by that time I’d lost interest. So it’s now sitting beautifully on my shelf.

Next up, I’m very excited about Great Granny Webster by Caroline Blackwood - here is clip from the Booker website:

Narrated by an unnamed 14-year-old female, this masterful novella is equal parts macabre fairy-tale and blackly humorous family portrait. Without being overly self-consciousness in its artlessness, it reads like the guileless confession of a simple innocent embroiled in a tangled net of ravaged and ruined lives.

And also Daniel Mason’s new book Country People which the Guardian described as a joyful follow up to North Woods. If you haven’t read North Woods yet, why not? I’ve told you before, it’s a masterpiece.

I’m watching : Ludwig

I’m listening to : take 4 books where authors talk about their own book plus three books that inspired them. When they invite me on, I’m not sure yet, but I think I’ll choose Anne of Green Gables, by LM Montgomery, Heartburn by Nora Ephron and The Hours by Michael Cunningham (because choosing Mrs Dalloway would be pretentious.)

How come I ever got involved in legal recruitment? I’d like to say it was because I did a strategic analysis of the opportunity but in truth it was because I got chatting to the tall blonde woman at the school gates who I used to find a bit intimidating. No idea why, she was perfectly friendly.

Anyway, I was in the playground, talking to Jane about She’s Back and she told me I should speak to her husband, Stuart, who might need someone to speak on a panel. Stuart followed up and I went along to the event, where Melinda Wallman was in the audience. It took another eighteen months for Melinda to call me to ask for help with a returner programme, which later became Reignite.

Stephanie Dillon met our fabulous coach Tanja Spittal in the queue at their local bank. No grand plans, all happy accidents.

Stepping Stones

There is an exercise I used to do as an icebreaker, where I would ask participants to identify the five decisions or events in their lives to date that have led to them being in the room today. It can be quite revealing. Try it. (One of the characters in my book uses it with the women she’s coaching and then realises it’s fifteen years since she made any big decision herself, which opens up a whole can of worms).

For every deliberate decision or turning point, though, there are probably a thousand little accidents, co-incidences, matters of timing - sliding doors moments - that change your life without you realising it at the time. The school gate chat, the off the cuff remark in a bank queue. Fascinating when you think about it.

New Opening Line

I’m now on the sixty-fifth version of chapter one (I don’t know why this one is so hard, it gets so much easier later) and have decided to take a bit of a different tack. Whilst the characters do some things very deliberately, there are a fair few sliding doors moments that lead to big consequences so I’m toying with a new opening line.

There are days that show up unheralded, start and end in the usual way, nothing of apparent note in between, and yet turn out to be life-changing. A missing sports bag, a chance encounter in a hotel carpark, an act of charity, saying yes when you could have said no. Without realising it, you’re on a different path.

If you hate it, please keep it to yourself for now. I need to keep my mojo up.

Why Third Act is All the Rage

Nicole Kidman is in it so it must be good, right? I’ll come back to her.

But can we start with a woman I think is (even?) more inspirational? If you haven’t listened to it, I’d thoroughly recommend this episode of This Cultural Life

She talks about the experience of losing both her father and later her stepfather to plane crashes (both were in the RAF), and the irony of her career then being catapulted forward when she won the role of Catherine Clifton in The English Patient (she dies in a plane crash if you haven’t seen it).

It’s fascinating to hear her explain that she stepped back from a potential Hollywood career because she wanted to bring her children up in Europe and how being a mother meant that she made huge compromises in terms of the roles she would accept. It was only after her children were grown that she felt free to take more risks, accept bigger parts, both on stage and on screen.

And most recently, at sixty-six, she has written and directed her first film, My Mother’s Wedding. Towards the end of the interview, she is asked the question: “What drives you on creatively?” Here’s what she says:

Curiosity, a hunger for experience and to push myself. I like doing things that I don’t know how to do.

How inspirational is that? I like to think that my attempts to write a novel are exactly that. I definitely don’t know how to do it, but I’m learning.

Nicole

So, Nicole Kidman is on the front cover of Vogue, looking a lot less lined than Kirstin. I suspect a lot more chemicals, surgery and air-brushing were used in the making of that particular image.

She’s 59, divorced from Keith Urban, has a new man (Private Equity dude, apparently they are the latest must have accessory), is learning to become a death Doulla and ensures she works with a female director every eighteen months.

She continues to have a stellar career, appearing in shows like Big Little Lies, The Undoing, The Perfect Couple and Scarpetta. Is it just me or does anyone else think it’s just like the same character but with different outfits? Or maybe it’s just because Nicole Kidman is so famous you can’t get over the fact that it’s Nicole Kidman?

Anyway, I’m personally feeling a bit more inspired by Kristin. ALTHOUGH Nicole also talks about taking a trip to Ibiza , but then again she says she had to wear a little black wig. Strange. All that hair pushed into a little black wig? Must have been very hot.

Where Were You?

When the alert went out, declaring a national emergency?

I was with my husband and son in the Knave of Clubs in Shoreditch. We’d just sat down with two pints of Guinness and a G&T. Wondered about running into the Overground station to take cover, but then remembered during WW2 there was a terrible tragedy when everyone went into Bethnal Green Tube station to take cover and were hit by a bomb. So we stayed put.

Having said that, it’s no laughing matter. The Lord T (our local pub), which I may have mentioned in previous newsletters almost went up in flames a week ago. Middle of the night, the kitchen caught on fire, probably oil behind the back of the ovens setting alight in the heat, and would have brought the whole place down, along with houses either side, had the fire brigade not been on hand so quickly.

Frida Who?

Mum was down this week. I took her to see the Frida Kahlo exhibition at the Tate Modern. It’s called Frida Kahlo - The Making of an Icon. It’s a good job it’s not called Frida Kahlo - Artwork. Here’s what to expect:

• Three dresses worn by Frida Kahlo

• A room full of surrealist paintings by people other than FK (who wasn’t even a surrealist herself)

• Another room with paintings by people who claim to have been inspired by FK

• Paintings of FK painted after her death by people who never met her

• A room full of crappy bits & bobs which have been made to sell to consumers by organisations trying to cash in on her iconic image

• A couple of sketches of FK by her husband

• A few fabulous photographs of FK taken by renowned photographers in her lifetime

• A few of her own paintings. Very few.

The best bit, and I’m not even joking, was the gift shop.

Ibiza

Am now undecided. Which one for the actual wedding? Trouble is it will have to last me from 2 in the afternoon, through to midnight or beyond. Pink more comfy but Green is nice. Best bit is they were both second hand so they feel like a bargain. Would have been even better if I’d just bought one of them, obviously. Also, I’m not sure the heels will last the night, so will have to work with flip flops from 8pm onwards.

I know, I also need a hair cut.

The Cultural Slot

I’m watching: The Athletics. Hasn’t it been amazing? Tried My Brilliant Career, managed one episode, wasn’t hooked. High hopes for Ludwig season 2 which starts this week. Hope they haven’t mangled it.

I’m listening to: How did we get here? on BBC Radio 4. First eight episodes are called “No World Order” and trace the history of the “new world order” that pertained (or did not) after the end of the Cold War. The second eight focus on Israel and the Palestinians.

I’m reading: Middlemarch. Could take a while. Also still ploughing through Land by Maggie O’Farrell. Can’t quite work out why it feels like a slog when the writing is so beautiful. Maybe it’s because it’s physically heavy? Or is it the lack of chapters? Dunno. After my recent foray into literary fiction I think I might buy the new Meg Mason - Sophie, Sanding There - (brilliant title) but it’s not out until 27th August. I hear Whistler by Ann Patchett good but I found Tom Lake too saccharine. Help me out, what should I read?

Where is everyone? I don’t know why I’m bothering to write this newsletter as no-one is around to read it. Scratch that, I do know why I’m bothering, it’s because six years ago (can you believe it’s six years?) I said I would write a weekly newsletter and I like to think I’m the sort of person who does what she says.

Not just for the Italians

A long time ago, when I had a proper job - with a salary, and five weeks holiday, and a boss and annual performance reviews, all that sort of thing - I worked on a project involving the merger of two telecoms companies, one based in Coventry, the other in Genoa. The Brits leading the project made a big song and dance about it being super urgent, holidays were cancelled, a team assembled and we were all sent to Italy to mobilise the work.

There was no-one there. It was 1st August.

The Brits were incandescent but anger changes nothing.

It seems that we’ve now followed the rest of Europe and the UK, too, closes shop for August. Even the PM is on holiday, although his instagram feed is in full flow.

Learn the Language

Top tip if you’re involved in a multinational merger or simply want to make friends.

When the project finally got underway, the team spent time in both Genoa and Coventry. I was the only one who attempted to learn Italian, the rest of them going for the “speak slowly and loudly” approach.

It’s amazing what you find out about what’s really happening when you make a bit of an effort. It was like when we were working on a different project, this time in Scotland, at the Sky call centres. My friend Sarah smoked and what she found out in the smoking area was far more interesting than anything to be gleaned in a formal interview.

Dangerous Dogs

Every year, the papers seem to struggle for news in August, on account of nothing much happening. So you end up with a huge focus on an issue that really does not merit the column inches. One year it was dangerous dogs. At best, these items are a diversion, at worst, everyone gets so worked up that the politicians end up introducing badly thought-through legislation to show they’re taking action.

This year, it seems to be a toss up between a kerfuffle about a Cambridge professor accused of plagiarism (though beneath the surface story it’s a kerfuffle about a lot more than that) and Gianni Infantino of FIFA’s attempt to hold onto his job (which beneath the surface story is all about corruption and power).

Meanwhile, Trump has lit a proper powder keg in the Middle East, his Gaza Peace Plan is a mirage and the Ukraine/Russia conflict continues with no end in sight.

A Good Read

Recently posted a photo of a book, I’d just read. Met a friend who was about to go on holiday who said:

‘So, you’d recommend it?”

‘Er, no, actually, not for you, I don’t think you’d like it,’ I replied. It’s on the Booker Long list, so plenty of people think it’s fabulous, I just didn’t think it was the sort of book to keep her entertained sailing round the Greek Islands.

Thought I might as well share my thoughts with you.

Clever, Renowned

Critics rave about these three books

Transcription: Read it because NYT Book Review team said one of the best books of the year so far. It felt like I was sitting for an exam, which I would inevitably fail. On the back flap the GQ quote is “You’ll read it, then want to read it again.”

I think you’d probably want to read it again if you were interested in figuring out what it was about. It’s clever. I didn’t enjoy it (actually when I re-listened to the NYT book review team review, one of them said the same thing, others raved about it).

May We Feed the King Booker long listed. Clever, different, this time not at all hard to read. Very short chapters. The author is a poet, which shows. My mum’s review: “It was different, I enjoyed it when I got going. I don’t think it would have a very wide audience appeal.” I also enjoyed the read but I don’t think we’ll be talking about it in years to come.

The Palm House: Ditto to May We Feed. Funnliy enough the flap has a quote from Ben Lerner “I deeply admire her darkly gleaming sentences and the carefully calibrated silences around them.” (Apologies for not being able to come up with a similarly eloquent review. Think this is probably my favourite of the three.

This hooked me: “Putnam opened our second bag of salt and vinegar, then carefully split one seam and spread the crisps out a bit.”

Please, I can’t face ploughing through the rest of the Booker Longlist hoping to find a classic. If anyone has any recommendations post in the comments.

My Greek Island hopping friend won’t be taking those, I’m taking these three doorstoppers round for her to choose from later.

The Power of Positivity

I’m in awe of anyone who can finish a manuscript, secure an agent and get a book published As you may know, I’ve been soliciting feedback on the first few chapters of my novel and it’s been incredibly useful. What I’ve noticed, though, is that constructive criticism (i.e anything that doesn’t begin with “wow, this is amazing, it’s a sure fire winner ....) sets me back a bit.

I don’t think I’m particularly thin skinned, I think it’s a human thing. Particularly when you’re trying to create something from scratch, where there’s no blueprint. Don’t get me wrong, it’s all been helpful and I have acted on the feedback but my poor little soul just dies for a few minutes/hours. Which is not a good state to be in.

Which is why I’m now starting to avoid the thousands of instagram/Substack messages that begin “Five reasons your manuscript will fail before anyone even reads it” or “Seven reasons an agent will not even give you the time of day” or “Three mistakes you are making with your dialogue”, all that crap.

So was delighted to see a post by a literary agent called Stephanie Katz called “the Five Green Flags that Make Me Want to Sign an Author.”

• Can I actually sell this book

• Is this someone I want to build a career with

• Can this Author Write more than one book

• Does the author pass my Due Diligence checks

• Rights, legal and business questions

Reckon I could answer yes to all of those. Trouble is she’s based in New Orleans.

Fond Farewell

The reason I had to go public with my weekly musings was that the Reignite Academy, a company I founded with Stephanie Dillon and Melinda Wallman looked like it would not survive Covid. There would be no-one to read my end of week ditty. I’d no idea whether anyone would sign up but here we all are.

I was wrong about Reignite, the business survived and the years following Covid were our busiest every. However, 2024 was difficult, 2025 worse and in September we decided to deploy our considerable efforts, energy and creativity elsewhere. The business was formally struck off Companies House this week. Rather than be sad, I’m grateful for the experience it provided, to everyone who helped us and for the opportunity to meet some amazing people.

Shared a bottle of champagne with Sharon, who used to work for us, to celebrate that and my recent birthday. Sharon’s now in a great role at one of the Big 4 and if you’re looking for a fabulous career coach, Tanja Spittal is your woman. By the way, if you have a newly graduated friend who is struggling with career direction, she is carving out quite a niche in that area.

The Culture Slot

I’m listening to: This Cultural Life - specifically the episodes with Kristen Scott Thomas and Michael Frayn. Both inspiring. Michael Frayn’s Spies, narrated by Martin Jarvis on Audible is the funniest book I’ve ever heard there.

I’m watching: Margo’s got Money Troubles. It’s funny. Without Elle Fanning and Michelle Pfeiffer I’m not sure it would work but they’re in it and it does.

I’m reading: Paused Land because it was too heavy to lug around, so I need to pick that up again. Think I might try Paul Murray’s Skippy Dies. Any other suggestions?

I’m going: Everywhere I can on public transport. It’s all FREEEEEEEE!!! (Yes, I have my over 60 TFL travel card. It’s a joy. Well, it would be if the tubes weren’t 110 degrees right now).

I’m worrying about: What to wear in Ibiza. Going there for a wedding, lots planned and I have NOTHING to wear. Happened to send a WhatsApp to the bride to be asking for advice and now my Instagram feed is full of suggestions. It’s spooky.

OMG! That photograph was taken almost ten years ago!

It’s been a VERY GOOD week. I haven’t done very much, on account of it being August and everyone being on holiday. Plus it’s too hot to venture very far so my social life has consisted of going to the Lord T, the pub around the corner. And yet, it’s been a transformational week.

Hook Line and Sinker

I’ve NAILED it. Well, it wasn’t me to be fair, it was one of my Beta readers, let’s call her Liz. Partly because that’s her name.

Anyway, after I took on board feedback and tightened the opening chapter for the zillionth time, I engaged some Beta readers from the Jericho Writers platform (excellent resource, by the way). Liz offered to read the first five chapters as she’s looking to improve her editorial skills. Rather than just dump the manuscript on her, I set out a few questions, the first being, “What’s the story about?”

Overall I loved it and got a strong story question around “Who am I now? And is that who I want to be?

Reader, I sat down and wept. Not about the “I loved it” part, thought that was fabulous, it’s more the story question. You should hear the mangled response that comes out of my mouth when someone says “What’s it about?” or when I try to write an elevator pitch or synopsis. Absolute guff!

Liz, on the other hand, hit the nail on it’s proverbial head.

Testing the Ground

So then, I happened to be in the Lord T (obviously), joining my husband and three men I didn’t know well, they’d come from a business meeting. He told them I was writing a book and, obviously, they asked “What’s it about?”

“So, there are three women, one of them works in advertising, she’s early forties, looks around and realises she’s surrounded by twenty-somethings all of whom have tattoos, beards (the men) and multiple piercings (both sexes); she’s expecting a promotion, gets passed over, worries she’s too old ...

But before I could get to the killer line, one of my new friends jumped in

“You’ve met my wife!”

Anyway, I filled in the other two protagonists, after which his friend said,

“My wife would love that, when’s it out?”

I will do this thing

I have decided, I will publish this book. I will try my best to find an agent and go down the traditional publishing route but come hell or high water, even if I have to self-publish I WILL publish this book.

It still needs a lot of editing but it’s not rubbish anymore. And I do think there’s an audience.

PS I will be relying on YOU to help out.

Performance

Its years since I’ve been to a wedding. I’m the wrong age. So I’m super excited to be going to not just any old wedding but one of those abroad weddings that must be so annoying for people with proper jobs and limited holiday days and budget.

It’s in Ibiza. Never been. Very excited but now also very worried because the bride and groom have asked me to do a reading. Why me? I have absolutely NO IDEA. It would be hard enough if it were a traditional poem or a bible reading, but it’s not.

It’s beautiful but I don’t think I would have been my own first choice for stepping into the shoes of Kae Tempest.

I’m practising.

Northern Men

The friend who is getting married is a dapper chap. Into his clothes and his music. Coincidentally (through a shared love of the Northern soul scene) knows my friend Deb’s husband, Simon, who is, similarly into his clothes, music and, in his case, Leeds United.

It’s a Northern thing. Observed by the writer of an article in the Times last week with the headline Why Northern Men - and not just the PM - are the most stylish. As well as Andy Burnham, the article referenced Alex Turner, John Bishop and Daniel Craig. It’s true.

When I was growing up - in the North, obvs - you had your “going out” clothes for Friday and Saturday night. I assume it’s still the same because when I visited Newcastle Uni with my daughter some years ago, the queue of young men waiting for End to open on Saturday morning must have been thirty deep.

It was a surprise to me, when I first moved to London and people - men and women, to be fair - didn’t appear to obviously “get dressed up” to go out. Strange.

Although there were a smattering of southern men who did make an effort of sorts, which involved wearing red cords. Sometimes with a tweed blaxer. Again, strange.

Sultry Summer

With everyone away for August, I’m also reading a lot.

Here are four books which are all set - or at least begin - during a sultry summer. Bounjour Tristesse, Atonement and The Go-Between tell the story from the eyes of a naive child.

A Month in the Country is the story of two world war one survivors who meet at a church where they have been engaged to discover a hidden masterpiece and long buried body. They are both broken, traumatised, haunted and their work, friendship and the people they meet in this little Northern village begin their process of healing. It’s so short but so beautiful. It was made into a film with Kenneth Branagh and Colin Firth but I haven’t figured out how to watch it yet.

Coincidentally, I just heard that The Book Club podcast has recorded a whole episode about it. I’m of the zeitgeist, obviously. That’ll be why they chose me for the Kae Tempest reading.

Who am I Now? And is that who I want to be?

Back to that photo. Ten years ago, I had just set up She’s Back, wanted to start a business, make a difference. I had two children in the early years of secondary school. Lots of work ahead, not to mention a global pandemic to be survived.

Ten years later? Same person, different place, I’d say. More reaping than sowing, if you know what I mean. The biggest change is the sense of time, in that there’s less of it ahead. So won’t be wasting any of it on people, things and activities that don’t make me feel good.

Although I do need to sort out my social life and venture beyond the Lord T from time to time.

The Culture Slot

I’m reading: Well, I just finished The Palm House by Gwendoline Riley. Long listed for the Booker prize. I enjoyed it. Also reading Land by Maggie O’Farrell. It’s very good but I wish she’d put in a few more chapter breaks. And about to start Transcription by Ben Lerner which looks fab.

As an aside, I have to have a little grumble here about literary fiction. They get away with murder those writers. No plots, no logic to the sequencing of events, no obvious worrying about conflict, stakes and yet they hook you in.

I’m listening to: Take Four Books - authors discuss their own books and three other books that inspired them. Listened to Elizabeth Strout and Gwendoline Riley. Also listened to the Book Club podcast; I’m a fan.

I’m watching: Not getting on very well with telly at the moment. Suggestiong?

I’m getting out more: This week’s plan - 180 Strand to meet my friend Sharon and I’ve booked to see The Car Man at Sadlers Wells with my mum. Took me a while to realise that it’s based on Carmen! Looks fab.

What’s Cooking

I’m not, he is. And since it’s summer, we’re having monkfish paella.

But first we’ll probably pop to the Lord T for a pint.

Here I am with Steph. my friend and one time business partner. Steph set up her first company to help women like her mum who, at the grand old age of fifty, couldn’t find a way back into the workplace. That story was true for so many women, from thirty-eight to fifty-eight and we had a lot of fun telling the tale and solving the problem. Until we didn’t.

When the employers we were working with stopped caring, we called it a day.

The story hadn’t changed, it’s just no one with the resources to fix it was interested.

Just the other day, another fifty-ish year old woman, this time with a large instagram following, noticed the exact same problem, this time blaming AI, and has started a huge campaign to change the world. A platform has been created, the FT, Telegraph, Independent, Times have run editorials. I have yet to be convinced that any employers are paying attention.

I wish them luck. In the meantime, Steph and I have moved into new careers. She has a proper job, I’m a writer.

Sticking to Your Story

So far, I reckon I’ve written about 120,000 words. Chapters two to twenty-eight contain 72,000 words and the other 48,000 words consist of me writing and rewriting the opening chapter. Again and again.

A couple of kind subscribers to this newsletter offered to read it and one suggested that I take inspiration from the openings of other contemporary novels. What she meant, in a kind way, was that mine was still too boring. I’m good at taking instruction (eldest daughter trait) so I did just that. Here’s what I noticed:

• They all introduce conflict early on

• Something happens - it’s not just atmosphere, setting, a character having thoughts

• You soon get a sense of what the story is going to be about.

Even the titles (most of them anyway) do a great job of letting you know what it’s going to be about. Romantic Comedy - is a romantic comedy. Blue Sisters - is about three sisters who are a bit lost and sad after the fourth has died. The Help ... you get the gist.

My novel is called Shelf Life - double or triple meaning, women in a book club, who feel a bit adrift in the middle of their lives, reinventing the next chapter, defining their own story, that sort of thing.

An agent recently suggested that I might think about how to spice it up a bit. Maybe add a mystery, or a murder, or a drug addiction.

‘But that would be a different story!’ I said.

‘Well then, up the conflict, up the stakes, up the drama!’ she said.

So for anyone like my fifty-something influencer trying to change the world, there’s the advice. CONFLICT! STAKES! DRAMA!

On Resilience

When my volunteer readers didn’t immediately say “Oh my goodness, this is a surefire best seller, I can see it being made into a TV series, Sarah Jessica Parker in the lead ...” etc etc. I confess to being a little downhearted.

So much so that on Tuesday I decided to forget the whole thing. And then, I had a few words of encouragement and gave myself a good talking to, rewrote the opening chapter AGAIN, and I’m on a roll.

If I’ve learnt one thing, not just with the writing thing, but with running my own business, campaigning for a cause, whatever, the most valuable quality to have is resilience. Anyone can have a bright idea, start a movement, create a platform, what makes a difference is how you deal with the days when things don’t go your way. I think they call it adversity.

Prize Winner

The Summer of 26 is all about the Odyssey and as a result I’ve pivoted my reading to Circe, The Women of Troy, Song of Achilles. As I read, the stories were all so familiar to me and I realised why when I found this on the top shelf of my bookshelf. Prize for full attendance when I was 9 going on 10!

Made me also examine the other books on that shelf and there’s some crackers. Including A Month in the Country by JL Carr. Resolved to read more old classics over the next few months. Yesteryear, Strangers, all the BookTok Must Reads can wait a while.

Important historic work

Having said that, I’ve just read this, along with my friend Olivia who, like me, is Gen X and Florence, Clemmy and Maisie who are Gen Z. We were missing the Milennials (except Erin who doesn’t count because she’s an old soul in a thirty-something body). I only mention this because the book is all about a point in time that only Millennials would understand.

We all read it as an ironic, satirical look at the way these people lived their lives in their twenties and thirties. Digital Natives, descending on cities like Berlin, decorating their apartments with cool Danish furniture, sharing images of their perfect lives, all seeking to be different and ending up exactly the same as each other.

Lines like this

Gentrification, as they understood it, was something other people did.

and this

They all spent their lives in plant-filled apartments and cafes with excellent wifi. In the long run it was inevitable they would convince themselves that nothing else existed.

But then I listened to an interview with the author on the Pages of Hackney podcast and he said it wasn’t meant to be sardonic at all. It was a loving tribute.

Anyway, there you go. It perfectly captures a brief moment in time that will probably never be repeated. Give it a read.

The Culture Slot

I’m watching: Gladiator. Again. Put it on for ten minutes last night and ended up going to bed far too late. But also discovered The Crow Girl on this channel called Channel 5. You might have heard of it. It’s Scandi Noir set in Wales. Really enjoying it. The ad breaks are annoying

I’m reading: See above. JL Carr A Month in the Country is BEAUTIFUL. Also Women of Troy and Perfection.

I’m listening to: Pages of Hackney podcast. Interesting interviews with less well known authors. Like me. They haven’t booked me yet.

What? You thought I’d given up? Forgive me reader, it’s been four weeks since my last newsletter.

I turned sixty, there was a LOT of partying, then a holiday, but as there was also a LOT of football and much optimism flying around I’m guessing you barely noticed. I’m not offended.

What’s been going on?

Rejected

Approached a literary agent for the very first time, sharing the first twenty pages of my book. Part of me didn’t expect a reply. When it came I rather wished that part had been right.

Thank you for sharing your work but I wasn’t as drawn in as I need to be.

Ho hum. My first thought was to pick up the phone and say, ‘Honestly, it gets better, just wait till you get to chapter twenty-three, you’ll be on the edge of your seat.

My second idea was to abandon the whole project altogether.

Idea three was to work hard at making the opening chapter more enticing. I’d been doing an in-person course and my tutor had an ingenious idea.

‘So, your idea is that these women are in a book club, and the conversations about books really become conversations about themselves and they change as a result.’

‘Yes, in a nutshell, you see they’re all in the middle of their lives and things haven’t quite turned out as they hoped. And the conversations make them rethink their decisions and face up to lies they’ve been telling themselves about how everything’s OK.’

‘Mmm. So why does it take four chapters to get to an actual book club.’

Starting the story in the wrong place, too much backstory, not enough at stake, passive characters. The only good news was that here was room for improvement.

And I made my characters read one of my favourite books ever on the subject of motherhood. Wouldn’t recommend it when you’re still at the screaming baby phase but once you’re through it, it’s fabulous. Here it is with some of the best lines. One of my characters loved it so much she took to highlighting lines.

Request

The people who have been reading my novel as I write it, chapter by chapter are now SO BORED with the whole thing I can’t ask them again. So if anyone’s up for reading my newly improved chapter one before I submit myself to the humiliation of rejection again, send me a message.

Hats Off

Think I told you my daughter took over organising my birthday bash. A few of us went away for the weekend and she put together this fabulous welcome pack. The fan came in very useful, as did the eye patches and the day after recovery pills. Not sure we needed the mini vodkas on top of all the maxi cocktails that were consumed.

The eagle eyed will notice we had to watch the football and that there was a padel tennis competition. In retro tennis gear. My husband and my friend Giles won the fancy dress competition in 1970s Bjorn Borg style outfits, complete with head bands and wrist bands. I’d show you but I think he’d divorce me. You’ll have to make do with myself and little friend Alex in our vintage Fred Perry dresses.

Dear Andy

Well, here we go again. Do we think this one’s going to be any better? I have three reasons for hope.

1. He’s 100% right about cities and towns across the North (and probably South, East and West, I just don’t know they as well) being left behind since the eighties. When I grew up, Sheffield had a thriving city centre; Barnsley, Mexborough, Rotherham all had busy high streets, markets, independent stores, cinemas, parks with tennis courts, crown green bowling, swimming pools. They’ve all gone backwards at a rate of knots. And don’t get me started about the TransPennine Express.

2. Like the way he’s by-passing the communication gate keepers - newspaper editors, political journalists and the like - and going direct to the masses via Instagram, TikTok and has even managed to drown out Nigel Farage.

3. He may, possibly, be listening to some grown up economists like Jim O’Neil.

Other than that, I have no idea. He talks a good talk but we need some action and he doesn’t have long.

Epic Tales

Speaking of action, sounds like it’s going to be worth three hours of your life going to see The Odyssey. If this whets your appetite for tales of Greek Heroes, I’d recommend both of these.

Silence of the Girls

Is the first of of the Women of Troy trilogy by Pat Barker. Set against the backdrop of the Trojan was it tells the story of the women and girls who were captured by the Greeks. Told through they eyes of Briseis, a queen who has been taken by Achilles as his concubine.

It’s a classic.

Song of Achilles

Achilles again, but this time he’s the good guy. This time told through the eyes of Patroclus, a weak, disappointing prince who has been exiled to the court of King Peleus, Achilles’ father. They grow up together, fall in love and when Helen of Sparta is kidnapped, they both join the war to free her.

Madeline Miller also wrote Circe, the story of the Greek Goddess, which weaves in many of the legends that are part of the Iliad and the Odyssey. It’s fabulous.

Hours Lost

I have never in my life watched so much football. Even got up in the middle of the night in Greece to watch one of the England matches. I swear the stress has knocked years off my life. And that’s not to be taken lightly when you’re my age.

Added to which, I reinstated my old instagram account (lisaunwinwrites) ready for when I’m a real published author, and as a result lost more hours scrolling through endless reels. Mostly about football. They were funny though. Sure I’m not alone in thinking Erling Haaland should be made world king now Boris Johnson doesn’t seem to want the jobs. The bags! And did you see he’s just bought a fabulously rare book of Nordic sagas at auction and donated it to his local library?

The Culture Slot

I read: Flashlight by Susan Choi. OK but if you’re interested in North Korea, the Orphan Master’s Son by Adam Johnson is much better IMHO. Writers and Lovers by Lily King - entertaining. Also read Great Expectations - can’t believe I’ve never read it.

On the writing course I was doing, a couple of participants said I had too many characters (I had six women in the book club, didn’t think it would be much of a book club with fewer than that). They claimed it was too confusing for readers. Bet no one ever said that to Dickens.

Loving Circe by Madeleine Miller.

I’m watching: I, Jack somebody or other with Trevor Eve. Managed the first episode then skipped to the end of the last to find out what happened. Wish you could do that with a football match.

I’m listening to: The Novelry podcast, which is about writing, so not for everyone. Madeline Miller on The Book Review by the New York Times - an episode called “This Author Says you shouldn’t be intimidated by The Odyssey.” Also Leading podcast by the Rest is Politics team, with Ben Rhodes, Barack Obama’s speechwriter. “How America Talks itself into Endless Wars.”

Did I mention it’s my birthday soon? Not quite there yet, another week to go, but we had family and friends down from Yorkshire to begin celebrations yesterday. They made me do a speech, which I hadn’t prepared, so had to think on my feet.

Here’s what I came up with, or at least something along these lines.

When I got to thirty I felt pressure to have it all sorted by forty. By forty it felt like I was in a different life which, in a way, I was. Mother to a four- and a two-year old. Here’s what I learnt:

Being a mother to young children is a temporary condition. Do not let it define your life.

I was all over the place in my forties, had a job, left the job, did the school run, realised time was running out, started a business, made a lot of noise about women in the workplace. As a woman I once met said.’

I’m forty. My kids are ten and twelve. That gives me twenty years ahead to make a discernible difference.

So I tried to do that. My fifties were busy, different, a lot of fun. And now I’m onto a new chapter.

I didn’t bore the audience with all of that, but here’s what I said: each decade presents opportunities for reinvention. Embrace them.

Where’s the Fun Gone?

We looked at humour in my creative writing class this week. Read a short story by Lorrie Moore called You’re Ugly Too, where she uses humour and irony to make a serious point. The lecturer then gave us a writing task where we had to write about a character failing at work, making sure it was a funny tale.

This is my story! I thought, that’s where I first began. Rattled away at the task, even made myself chuckle.

Then I got home and read my first chapter again. The humour had been sucked out of it. All the sharing, workshopping, taking on board feedback, writing and rewriting meant that it bore NO RELATION to the original idea and tone of voice.

This time, I didn’t edit. Did NOT start with what was there and try to improve. I started with a CLEAN SHEET of paper. (Why am I suddenly writing in capitals? Sorry, I will cease and desist. All too Trumpian.

This is important, though. Sometimes, if you truly want to change something or to reinvent your life you can’t just faff around at the edges. It needs a clean slate.

Do Not Go Gently

One of my friends, same age as me, has just bought a house in North Yorkshire. It’s a good hour and a half or so North of where she currently lives, close to three grown up children and one grandchild.

Part of the reason, she told me, was that she is thinking about cutting back on work (she runs her own business) and does not want to fall into the trap of “just” being the on duty grandmother, doing the school run and helping her daughter who has a very full on job. My friend still wants to live her own life. She has her own ambitions and desires. I love that.

Go Gentle - a Disappointment but an Idea

Has anyone read Go Gentle by Maria Semple? I was disappointed. It began so well, a “coven” of older women living in apartments in the same block have this ingenious idea to pool their efforts, money and needs. So, for example, one buys potatoes, another apples, another toilet rolls or whatever and then they split them between three - because it’s so much more economical.

Loved the idea and thought it had a lot of comic potential. But the story went in a different direction entirely. So maybe my next book will steal the original concept. Don’t tell Maria.

Having Fun on the Pitch

I watched two games of football. The France game and the England game. My goodness, they were good. Entertaining. Played for fun, played to win, no holding back, no sitting on your wins.

As I’m trying to say. Don’t be satisfied with whatever success you’ve had so far. Go again, get on with it, have fun.

Books for the Decade

I did a quiz for the party. Questions covered 1966, 1976, 1986 etc etc. There was one for each year about books that were published that year.

1966 - An imagination of the back story of the woman in the attic in Jane Eyre

1976 - one man’s epic search for his origins, which begins in the Gambia and ends up in NYC and was later turned into a major TV series

1986 - Dystopian novel set in New England where patriarchal, totalitarian state rules

1996 - Booker prize shortlisted (should have won) tale of Indira Ghandi’s India

2006 - Novel set against the backdrop of the Biafra/Nigeria War

2016 - Elizabeth Strout novel that told you on the cover it wasn’t about Olive Kitteridge

2026 - Winner of the Women’s prize for fiction.

Can you name them? My audience were pretty hopeless. I’ll put answers in comments

Culture Slot

I’m listening to: How to Fail with Elizabeth Day, talking to Patrick Radden Keefe

I’m watching: Football

I’m reading: Neighbour bought me lovely copy of The Bell Jar and Tom the Barber (who made millions of margaritas last night) bought me a hardback copy of Middlemarch. so that will keep me going.

Answers

1. Wide Sargasso Sea, Jean Rhys

2. Roots, Alex Haley

3. A Fine Balance, Rohinton Mistry

4. Half of a Yellow Sun Chimamanda Ngozi Adiehie

5. My Name is Lucy Barton

6. The Correspondent

I know for certain that this photo was taken in 2000 because that was the year I found myself at a fork in the road and, like that Robert Frost chap, chose the one less traveled. Walked away from a marriage, moved to London, left the safety net of a community behind, started a new life.

Looking back from some distance, it all makes total sense. At the time, I had no idea what was ahead, no clue how my story would turn out. Funny how we muddle through life one decision at a time, some of which only make complete sense twenty or thirty years on.

Sadly, you can’t write a story that way. Well, you can, but no-one would read it.

Are you hooked?

Drawn in to the story? Want to know more? Eager to turn the page? On Monday, during my creative writing class (my husband calls it “night school” which feels a little 1970s), we read the opening chapters of Pride and Prejudice and Great Expectations. Neither very long. Both brilliant at setting the reader’s expectations for the story they are about to read. Particularly who the main character is, what they want and what’s standing in their way.

Since then, my time has been spent on two endeavours:

1. Reading Great Expectations

2. Editing my novel

The two do not go hand in hand. I can’t believe I’ve never read GE. Hardly read any Dickens to be honest. Why on earth not? It’s so funny, so engaging, and not a line is wasted. Everything leads to something. Like Chekov’s gun, nothing is planted for no reason, it all comes round in the end. Very satisfying.

I cannot say the same about my own efforts. But at least I’m trying.

Motivations, Obstacles, Stakes

Readers don’t care about what’s happening unless they care who it’s happening to. You have to be clear not just on who the character is, their traits, foibles, flaws and the like, you also have to communicate:

• What’s driving them, what do they want

• What’s getting in the way AND

• What’s AT STAKE

So as I enter what feels like the thirteenth round of editing, I’m focusing on whether there is enough clarity on these for each of my characters. Annie wants career success but is heading for failure; Maggie longs to perform but is ignored by her only audience; Willa wants to be safe but can’t shake off the suspicion she’s living an enormous lie. Lots to do now to make sure I’m clear on what exactly is at stake for each of them.

Though I have to say, looking back on the choice I made all those years ago, I’m glad I didn’t focus on what was at stake. Might never have had the courage to take the leap.

Different Audience, Same Old Story

I’m doing a panel event this week with a friend, Ellie, who I met years ago. She left the law after the birth of her second child. When she returned a few years later she did so with some brilliance, deciding to reinvent herself as an expert in a new area. She’s continued to have a flair for reinvention and is now a partner specialising in cyber security. The panel event for the International Women in Cyber Association has the title

“Navigating Career Breaks”.

Turns out all the prejudices, barriers, obstacles are pretty much the same as they were when we first met almost ten years ago. Made worse, now, with the use of AI in the recruitment process. Happily, the solutions are similar too and there are probably a few more people fighting the good fight to help women who are motivated enough to return.

One Top Tip

We had a briefing session last week and Ellie asked us all to think about one top tip that we would leave participants with at the end of the session. Here’s mine. It’s based on advice given to me by a friend who returned to work as a teacher after a break of ten years.

‘Before I left, I used to be the first one in every morning, the last one out. I worried that I couldn’t do that any more, so I’d never be the teacher I used to be. And then I realised that I’m a different person. I’ve had nine years bringing up two children, one of whom had special needs. So in some ways I’ll be better placed to advise parents, and to teach their kids.’

Forget being the lawyer you used to be. You’re different; prepare to reinvent yourself.

What else?

• Don’t worry about the length of the career gap - you don’t have years to fill, you just need to get up to speed with the way things are now

• Get the home team on board. Life will change for everyone.

Preparation for the BIG One

I’m going away for the weekend in a couple of weeks. With a few friends to celebrate a big birthday. Ten years ago, I did something similar (don’t have much imagination) and that time I was the organiser. The organisation consisted of:

1. Booking the venue

2. Telling everyone the date

This time, my daughter is in charge. She has much more imagination, and is also much better at organising things, so we have a whole weekend of themes ahead, including a paddle tennis competition that has to be played in retro tennis gear (I’ve ordered a Sergio Tacchini dress off Ebay). The first night is Studio 54, which is not too tricky except when it comes to footwear. I don’t think they wore flats in Studio 54.

I was reluctant to buy a pair of heels which would never be worn again, but then remembered the attic!

Cancelled in Covid?

Once upon a time, women wore heels. They made no sense as they bore no relation to the shape of a woman’s foot and made walking difficult, running impossible. They were on the way out when Covid happened and then they were cancelled altogether. Luckily, I kept some for nostalgic reasons, and as a warning to future generations. Found them in the attic.

This is just a selection. As long as I stand still, I’ll be fine. But wasn’t there dancing at Studio 54?

Too many cooks?

I suspect Charles Dickens never did a creative writing course. Bet his work was never “workshopped”. Suspect he never sent chapters to “beta readers” for feedback. Nope, he just wrote it and sent it out into the world, chapter by chapter.

I took the opposite approach and my opening chapter has been read, workshopped, poured over, critiqued, amended edited several times. As I read the thing from start to finish, I notice the later chapters work pretty well. The opening is dire. Which is a problem because readers will never get to the good stuff if the early chapters are rubbish.

My little friend Alex was over this week, and she said she’d like the very first opening chapter, which I published on Substack. Went back, read it, and honestly it’s much better than the sorry state it’s in now. Too many cooks, not enough conviction.

The Sage Bush and the Rosemary Tree

Now that it’s finally stopped raining, we’ve ventured into the garden. My husband proudly told me he’d trimmed the herbs as they were getting out of control. Went to inspect.

I think (hope) he was talking about the rosemary bush. If not, I don’t know what the poor old sage had done wrong.

You could write a story about this. It could be a parable. An Aesop’s fable. I don’t have time, you’ll have to make it up yourself. In the meantime, I see myself as the sage and Dickens as the rosemary tree. Room for both of us.

A Word on Wine

I’ve just been to a local wine bar for supper with my daughter. She made me go all the way to Shoreditch to meet her, in theory so that we could do a little “pottering”, but then we ended up walking down Columbia Road, finding our destination restaurant closed, which meant we walked all the way back to Lauriston to go to Bruno BUT on the way we were able to pop into a little vintage shop where she found me the PERFECT party dress for a non-themed event so I didn’t mind.

Where were we? Wine. We each ordered a glass of rose.

“We have a house rosé”

“Great.”

“It’s unusual, funky.”

STOP RIGHT THERE. Why on earth would anyone have a house rosé that is “unusual” and “funky”. I do not want wine to surprise me. I want wine to do exactly what is expected of it. And while we’re at it, I do NOT expect wine to be cloudy. There is NO REASON for it. My friend Lincoln, who lives in Melbourne and is a wine connoisseur assures me the Australians got rid of this trend as soon as it arrived. Sadly, I live in East London and it persists.

The Culture Slot

I’m reading: Great Expectations. I told you this already. Delighted to see Virginia Evans win the Women’s Prize for fiction with The Correspondent. Loved it. Also really enjoyed The Benefactors by Wendy Erskine, who was long-listed. Those two were my stand outs.

I’m listening to: Well, after John Healey’s resignation, I had to make a diversion back into The Rest is Politics, Newscast, The News Agents, all the usual suspects. Kept me entertained for a little while before I returned to more bookish topics, including the New York Times’ Book Review episode on summer reading recommendations. Although to be honest I might just work my way through Dickens.

I’m watching: Anything but football.

What’s Cooking

As above, the in-betweeners have gone to Italy for a few days, my son is lost in the wilds of Wales at some weird music festival, the husband has gone up North, so it was just me and Flo. Went to wine bar for interesting food and regular rosé. Was nice.

Seven years ago, my mum had a fever in the night and fell on the way to the bathroom. Paramedics took her to hospital thinking it was probably a bladder infection. A vigilant nurse decided a brain scan was required, which revealed a tumour the size of a quail’s egg, totally unconnected to the fall.

She was given the choice to leave it there or go on a waiting list to have it removed. She opted for the latter, assuming the wait might be months but six days later she was in hospital having it removed. This week she received the all clear from the neurological unit. No more scanning required. Hurrah. More adventures ahead.

Including this one, celebrating her great-granddaughter’s first birthday on Saturday (my brother’s grandchild, I hasten to add).

Keeping My Own Story Moving

So, this bloomin’ book. I’ve finished the high level structural edit, binning three irrelevant chapters and splitting the last chapter into two and now I’m going through each chapter individually. It feels a bit like I have assembled a huge lump of clay and now need to create a beautiful sculpture. Fun but hard. And dismaying to read what I thought was a decent first draft only to find some of it is utter drivel.

Here are some of the principles I’m applying. Think they might apply to life in general.

Every scene, every line, must move the story forwards

The most important thing I’ve learnt about writing fiction, well, one of them anyway, is that SOMETHING HAS TO HAPPEN. I know that sounds like the bleeding obvious, but don’t forget most of my writing thus far has either been to communicate something work-related. If you don’t count this newsletter, obviously. (I’m still not sure what the point of the newsletter is but it’s rare that it’s much more than a stream of consciousness. Not much happens).

Anyway, back to fiction, things have to CHANGE. Your characters need to change, the story needs a plot. Otherwise, readers will lose interest.

This is why, in the end, we closed down the Reignite Academy. We weren’t able to change things for our candidates anymore. Sad but it was good while it lasted so.

Action isn’t plot

That old chestnut. Just because there are a lot of things happening, it doesn’t mean the story will be moving on. Action doesn’t help if the events occurring don’t affect the central spine of the story.

In a work context I think this means it’s very easy to be a busy fool.

Reluctantly, no adverbs allowed,

At my writing course this week, the tutor went over the reason most creative writing books, classes, experts tell you not to use adverbs.

If you need an adverb, the rest of your writing isn’t doing its job properly.

Just that morning, I’d written about how one character had reluctantly decided to resign from her job. Went back, did a search and there were five “reluctantly”s, thirteen “quickly”s and countless “obviously”s in my first ten chapters. Most are now gone. But I do need to go back and make sure the rest of the writing SHOWS the reluctance, speed, vehemence, extremity and all that. Goodness it’s hard.

I am not sure how this relates to real life. You work it out. Here’s a quote from Stephen King.

Description begins in the writer’s imagination, but should finish in the reader’s.

My New Excuse

I don’t know if I’ll ever finish this book. I’m now being distracted by all these books where are meant to help with the writing and editing process.

As well as banning adverbs, Dreyer’s English begins with a challenge: Go a week without writing:

• very

• rather

• really

• quite

• in fact

• of course

• surely

• that said

Once I’ve got rid of the adverbs, the banned words and deleted the scenes where nothing happens there will be nothing left. Perhaps I should be aiming for a short story.

My Instagram Experience/Accident

They are clever, aren’t they, the Tech Bros. I reengaged with my public instagram account @lisaunwinwrites the other week. My daughter helped out by giving it a new name and deleting some of the rubbish that was on there. She didn’t allow me to get going until I had at least twenty ideas for something to post, which was a challenge I couldn’t resist.

So, there I am and given I’m now a budding author - scratch that - now I’m a WRITER, I thought my content should be relevant to reading and writing. My feed is now full of people (mostly women) sitting with a pile of books telling me what I need to read. Trouble is, most of them are all saying the same thing. Yesteryear, Strangers, John of John etc etc. All current, very visible, widely promoted best sellers.

I do not need this. No one does. Tell me something I don’t know.

For example, this came out in 2019, I missed it and picked it up in the Brick Lane bookshop a few months ago. Sat on my shelf until I needed to find a little book to stuff in my suitcase for a long weekend trip. It’s a total JOY. I’ve told you this before but in case you missed it, I’m telling you again.

These two quiet men play board games for amusement and in doing so they are able to talk about their feelings (obliquely) and the state of the world. It’s laugh out loud funny in places and very moving.

The Accident

Forgot to tell you about the accident. I’d recorded a podcast for Just Beyond the CV with Rich Howell and hadn’t realised that he was also recording a video. He sent me a little clip that he was going to use to promote the podcast. Wasn’t sure what to do with it so I stuck it on Instagram Reels. I didn’t know I had Reels and didn’t know the difference between a Reel and a Story.

I do now. Stories just go to followers and disappear. Reels go anywhere and don’t. Apparently Reels better for growing new followers. My following has gone up by 2 so I’m not sure how well that works.

New Chapters

Forgive the terrible photo - we’re all over forty so never learnt to do selfies. But myself, Tanja and Steph met for dinner this week. Happy to hear their news of their own new chapters, Tanja with her one to one coaching, Steph working as an inhouse coach and Talent Development partner. All moved on, but all agreed that working together and with Melinda Wallman and Sharon Samra was a highlight of our career.

On the Hunt

For inspiration for something to wear for a few BIG birthday celebrations and a summer wedding. Studio 54, Sixties, Ibiza (for wedding) vibes. Suggestions on a postcard (though. to be fair my daughter is putting in her fair share of work here. Even took me shopping. on Saturday. It was an “early birthday present” apparently.

The Cultural Slot

I’m reading: Just ordered Man with a Seagull on his Head because it was recommended by Ronan Hession who wrote Leonard & Hungry Paul. And On Writing by Stephen King to add to the “how to write” collection (thanks Ciara Garvan for the recommendation.)

I’m listening to: Goalhanger The Book Club episode on Mrs Dalloway. Very informative. Also Ronan Hesson talking to James Naughtie on Radio 4 World Book Club

I’m watching: Ponies. It’s OK.

A Curious CV

“What’s something about your career that someone wouldn’t understand from your CV?”

Rich asked me. I’m not sure this really answers the question but my response was,

‘It looks like it’s describing two completely different people.”

The first half is all obvious and straight forward. School, university, grad scheme with professional services firm, career as management consultant, director of communication. Bit dull but easy to understand. Does not require a lot of imagination, it’s a well trodden path.

Then there’s this weird gap where nothing happens.

Then this second person emerges who dreams up ideas for not one but two companies, starts from scratch, makes a noise, turns up on LinkedIn making a big fuss about women’s careers, writes a book, morphs into a legal recruiter, wins a few awards, begins a newsletter that rarely contains any news but seems to be amusing enough for people to read.

On reflection, and I only see this now from the distance that time provides, there was no path to follow. It all had to be invented. I took an idea, road tested it with a few people, ignored the doubters, got the supporters on board and off we went. Quite a ride. Lots of hard work and also great fun while it lasted. And to make it happen, I realise now I had to totally reinvent myself.

The lies we tell, the truths we avoid, the myths we believe

Reinvention often means facing up to stories, myths, even lies that we are telling ourselves in order to survive.

“You have kids don’t you? How old are they?” Ellie, my communications manager asked me in the summer of 2008. We’d been discussing a colleague who had recently decided not to return from maternity leave.

‘Yes, 4 and 6, but I couldn’t imagine not working, it’s who I am,” I answered, looking around my comfortable and very messy office (the clear desk policy meany just throwing everything in the drawer at the end of the day).

Three weeks later I resigned. Another story.

Other myths I held about myself: I’m not creative, I could never work for myself, I’m hopeless at selling, I can’t work at a tidy desk. Turns out all wrong. Except the tidy desk one. I still cannot work at a tidy desk. Even online - currently six tabs open here, five word docs, one spreadsheet, Scrivener and photos.

What about you? Any myths holding you back?

Books as Emotional Mirrors

It’s the same when you’re writing fiction.

Here’s what Flannery O’Connor, the American short story writer said about writing fiction.

“If there is no possibility for change in a character, we have no interest in him.”

It’s not just physical change, the character you’re writing about has to change emotionally through the novel. As in, they have an internal belief at the start - about themselves, about the way the world is - that, by the end, has changed.

Obviously, in a story, lots of things can occur to cause that change but one of my ideas is to use conversations about novels to promote discussions about things going on in the characters’ own lives: identify, motherhood, infidelity, feminism, abuse, coercive control, purpose, that sort of thing.

These books seem to be doing the trick and now always in the ways I anticipated (some of my characters have become very strident and seem to have a mind of their own.)

Variety, the Spice of Life

It was book club this week. When my old book club folded I joined another organised by the younger generation. Actually, there are at least three generations involved, Gen X, Milennials and Gen Z if I’ve worked it out right. Three twenty-somethings, two thirty-somethings, a young forty year and and then myself and a friend who are both more mature.

It’s really interesting seeing patterns emerge and how differently everyone reacts to the book. We know who will always be late, who’s going to have strong and loudly voiced opinions, who will be quiet, listen and then say something profound. I think for my next book I’m going to write about three generations of women from the same family. Not mine though! They’d kill me.

The Editing Process

As you know, I’m onto reinvention number three, this time as a writer. Another lie I told myself was that I couldn’t ever create something alone at a desk. That I’d always need to bounce ideas of someone else. And that whilst I love creating something from scratch (now) I would hate then having to revisit, perfect, edit, finish.

WRONG! Turns out I really LOVE editing. Honestly, I can sit down at my desk at 10am and spend well over two hours faffing about with words. I’ve done the very high level what’s the story, where does everything fit, does each chapter need to be there thing and I’m now onto the high level edit of each chapter. Had to create a timeline to check it all made sense and I’ve created a little questionnaire. I’m not patenting this so feel free to use, though for what I am not sure.

This was helpful as one poor woman was pregnant for eleven months and when a guy died it took six weeks for them to sort out a funeral. 😭

This was both helpful and depressing. Yesterday I looked at two whole chapters where nothing much changed. Too much back story, general chit chat, nice people but no MOVEMENT.

Reminds me of when Deborah Khan and I used to go up to the city for meetings. When we got to Mile End if the trains going West were all full she used to make me get on the train going East instead.

At least that way we’re moving.

There was a logic to it.

The Culture Slot

I’m reading: Raced through The Things We Never Say by Elizabeth Strout. Wonderful. Discussed Heart the Lover at book club and appreciated how well it was written - got more out of it through the conversation. So now reading partner novel Writers and Lovers by Lily King. And listening to Eimear McBride narrate her novel The City Changes its Face, follow up to The Lesser Bohemians. Fabulous.

I’m listening to : Ann Patchett on her new novel Whistler (Bel Canto is one of my favourite novels ever).

I’m watching: Well, I tried Two Weeks in August but ended up skipping to end of last episode, didn’t grip me enough, made me cringe too much. Am I missing something? What’s everyone watching?

What’s Cooking

Well, tonight’s a bit boring because half the gang went to the Arsenal parade and are stuck in Canonbury somewhere and one lucky person is off to Ibiza for work tomorrow BUT look at what I made in the week. Roasted salmon salad with herb dressing from the new Honey & Co Daily cookbook. Yummy.

See you next week.

That’s me and this week’s newsletter, hopefully not the heatwave.

Quick Burst Wins

I’m on holiday with my mum and my daughter. My daughter suggested we go for a run the other morning. I agreed, assuming we’d be running along a nice flat promenade. However, the hotel is on the side of a steep hill so it was more like fell-running. Or hiking. On the positive side it was just 35 minutes long.

“It’s much better for your fitness,” she said, “rather than doing sudoku on a cross trainer for 50 minutes.” She has a point.

Which is why you’re getting this short sharp newsletter this week. I wasn’t going to bother on account of it being a very hot and a bank holiday, but that would be lazy.

We ran to this from BBC Sounds. Tremendous.

Pace setter with Josh Widdecombe

No, I’m Bored

I was asked, this week, to be a guest on a podcast to talk about how to return from a career break with confidence and energy. I thought about it and almost said yes.

On reflection, I realised I had zero enthusiasm and I don’t think you should do anything if you’re not going to give it 100%, so I wrote this instead.

Hi. I’m not working in that field anymore. I would say yes but to be honest I got so disillusioned (with businesses) and bored with the whole thing. I don’t think I’d come across with the enthusiasm you’d be looking for! Writing fiction now - easier to control.

She said:

“Completely understand. Fiction sounds like a much better deal frankly. Wishing you luck with the novel, I’ll keep my eyes peeled.”

Both happy.

Time for a new start

I mothballed my public Instagram account long ago, on account of it being full of drivel. Dipped my toe in the water recently and realised there is all sorts of useful content to be had if only you follow the right people. Cute Labradors and women telling you what to wear out, writers, editors, literary agents in.

If you’re more into pictures than words and want to support my efforts to make it look as though I have a platform you can follow me. I’m @lisaunwinwrites. I know, original.

https://www.instagram.com/lisaunwinwrites?igsh=NWVnYXV6bHRraHo4&utm_source=qr

Communal Living

We’re staying in a hotel across the bay from Cannes, 20 minutes and 3 euros away by train. It could be a thousand miles away though because while the film festival is in full swing over the water, there is nothing happening here. Perfect.

The other perfect thing is we have a duplex room which sleeps the three of us. So we can share a big bag of crisps and a bottle of rose before we go out and my daughter can help her grandmother charge her devices and navigate her various social media accounts while I search for my iPods or book or hair bobbles or whatever it is I’ve just lost.

Communal living is the way forward.

Speaking of quiet

My favourite read of the year so far has to be Stone Yard Devotional. But I’m also now reading Leonard and Hungry Paul which was equally quiet but this time about two wonderful male characters. It’s making me laugh. Read this about a woman doing hospital visits to cheer up patients. He describes the chatter with a patient:

Each woman taking her turn on the mic with a seamlessness only known to middle-aged women and gangster rappers

In an early passage he describes Leonard, who lives alone, as the “sort of man for whom time is something to fill rather than spend.” How beautiful is that?

The culture slot

I’m reading Leonard and Hungry Paul finished so now onto The Things we Never Say by Elizabeth Stroud. Whistler by Ann Patchett up next.

I’m listening to: as well as Josh, I’m listening to the Rest is History, the ones about Mary Queen of Scots. Bad judgement, poor decision making, terrible marriage

I’m watching the waves.

The Fashion Slot

I wasn’t going to tell you this because I don’t want you to get there before me. But life is a lottery isn’t it. Cecile Bahnsen for Uniqlo. I’m a small. Happy with anything. Thank you

You have to feel a bit sorry for King Charles. He goes off to the US, delivers not one but three amazing speeches, manages to make some very serious points, comes away with huge respect ,only to find his Government - which has a majority of 174 by the way - is in the process of eating itself . They even roll him out to do a King’s speech knowing full well that there is no way the current gang will be in place to get any of it done.

A Lesson in Leadership

On the day of the King’s speech, we made our way up to Whitehall. Not to watch the procession but to attend a memorial being held in a mansion room nearby for a man my husband and I both worked for many years ago.

John had left school at sixteen and joined a Manchester accountancy firm as an articled clerk. By twenty-six he’d made partner. Fast forward to 1999 and he had become the senior partner at the six or seventh largest firms in the UK, Deloitte. When the Enron scandal happened and it was clear Andersen was going to collapse he had the vision and determination to make sure Deloitte acquired the firm. It was transformational and before long Deloitte was the number one firm in the UK.

Large partnerships are a bit like political parties. The partners are all owners, everyone has a view, they are difficult to manage. Unless you are a great leader. At the memorial, a number of people talked about why John was so successful. I won’t bore you with the detail but three things stood out:

• He had a very clear vision of the sort of firm he wanted to create

• He was absolutely all over the detail

• He was a tremendous communicator - made everything very simple, very compelling.

There you go Andy, Wes, Angela, Al, or whoever wants to have a go at being PM.

And by the way, I never ever heard him talking about whether we were competing with PwC or Accenture. Forget whether you’re fighting Reform or the Greens, just have some bloody vision of your own.

Trust the Reader

Don’t over explain, show don’t tell, leave plenty out, limit the backstory ... all useful advice for anyone who is endeavouring to write fiction. Been trying to put it into practice this week as I began the process of editing my first draft.

Then on Wednesday I went along to a fabulous talk at our local book store. Claire Fuller, who is the author of Women’s Prize shortlisted Unsettled Ground (very very good, by the way) was talking about her new novel, Hunger and Thirst and her writing process. She also shared advice on what the opening paragraph of a novel has to contain:

1. Action

2. Main character

3. Theme

4. Time and place

5. Conflict/tension

6. A hook

7. Promise of tone and style

So much of leaving plenty out. I’m now thoroughly confused.

The Role of the Novel

Purpose, identity, motherhood, marriage, harassment, emotional fragility, status anxiety, class, infidelity, bias, bullying, friendship, racism, insecurity, pick a subject, any subject. There is ALWAYS a novel that has explored the topic.

Which is why, in my own novel, my characters are in a book club. The challenge with the book club chapters, though, is to write the conversations in a way that feels real - with interruptions, disagreements, fragments of thoughts, emotional observations, driven by the characters rather than me, the author and what I think about them.

It’s a challenge but a fun one. Here are some of the books.

Cheering from the Sidelines

When I was writing the first draft, I tried all sorts of tactics to avoid sitting down at my desk to get on with the job. Now I’m editing, it’s hard to pull me away. I LOVE it, there is so much to do. It’s like I’ve created this massive block of wood or clay or something and every little chisel or cut or moulding is going to make it better. (The danger, I supposed, is that I chisel away to nothing but that’s a worry for another day).

I have, however, left my desk a few times to cheer people on from the sidelines. Today, I watched my daughter in the Hackney Half - one hour thirty-eight minutes! She must take after me.

And on Thursday, my husband and I went along to an event for Vollebak, designers of “clothes for the future” or “wearable tech.’ You could tell it was a cool crowd because they all wore exactly the same baggy black garb. They all think they’re so different and they all end up looking the same. Except the founders, Nick and Steve, who are properly different. Except they look exactly the same as each other. Even made the instagram.

The Fashion Slot

Right. It’s on the way. Sun. What we all need now, people, is a really nice pair of Bermuda shorts.

This sort of vibe (Zara and Cos). Haven’t bought any because I’m still in a no-spending zone, but that doesn’t stop me telling you what to do.

The Culture Slot

I’m reading: Hunger and Thirst by Claire Fuller. Going to be great.

I’m watching: One episode to go in Legends. Also watched The Forsyte Saga on Netflix, for research purposes.

I’m listening to: Obviously, had to do Newscast and The Rest is Politics to get my fix of the Labour party shenanigans but then quickly got bored of that and I’ve been enjoying the Rest is History, specifically four episodes about Mary Queen of Scots. Made some dreadful decisions.

Encouraging news this week. As you know, my manuscript is tucked safely away in a draw as the advice for anyone completing a first draft of their novel is to “forget it” for at least two weeks. I’ve not even peaked at the manuscript but obviously over the course of those two weeks I’ve had a little time to reflect on what’s there. I suspected that the first few chapters were a mess and that it needed more drama. Less Little Women, more Lord of the Flies. Happily my suspicions were confirmed:

‘I think you’re right’ my friend Richard told me when we met on Thursday evening.

‘About what?’

‘Your novel’ - I’d forgotten that in an early burst of confidence, I’d begun to post chapters on Substack. He’d read them.

‘What about it?’

‘You’re right about it needing more drama. It was a bit, well, it was boring.’

I was far too nice to my characters; they were too nice to each other. I need to build in some meanness, create a clique or two, add more flaws, throw in some competition, even have a full-blown argument. Make it more real life, essentially. It might not even have a happy ending. Well, not for everyone. We’ll see but it’s definitely going to be fun to edit.

What a Difference Twenty Years Makes

None, essentially. We all looked a bit different and we’re now mostly dealing with kids in their late teens, early twenties, but the people at this reunion I helped organise last week were just the same. Almost 180 of us gathered, appropriately, at 180 Strand to reminisce on our time working for Andersen Business Consulting. It was amazing.

“Why are you all still so close?” Zoe, the events manager at Soho House asked myself and Rachel, a few days before the event.

I started blathering on about how we had a really rigorous recruitment process which meant that everyone was screened for the same qualities. I don’t think I even convinced myself.

“They just treated people really well” Rachel said, “everyone loved it.”

That made a lot more sense.

No-one Left the Sinking Ship

That’s not entirely true. As soon as the scale of the problems at Andersen became clear, towards the end of 2001, a few people looked after themselves, finding jobs elsewhere. Most stayed, hoping that things would work out, trusting the leadership to do their best to secure as many jobs as possible. Because, you see, we all loved* working with each other, we loved the firm, we trusted the leadership to do their best.

(*Side note, this was literally true in several instances, as evidenced by the plethora of married couples attending the reunion event on Thursday. But what do you expect if you recruit a bunch of twenty-somethings and send them off to some remote part of the UK to work on a project together for the best part of a year).

It all sounds a bit rose coloured spectacles now but I can tell you it was quite scary at the time. I was seven months pregnant, my husband and I were both partners, we thought we could lose everything if the US creditors of the firm tried to pursue us for their ££. I remember some partners being advised to get divorced and put their assets in their husband or wife’s name though I don’t think anyone did.

Back to the story. In the end, it was clear Andersen could not survive and would have to be sold to one of two other firms. There were two offers on the table. The partners voted for the option that would preserve the most jobs. Which was Deloitte. So off we went, or at least most of us did, where, funnily enough we were reunited with some of the people who’d jumped earlier on their own personal life rafts. Ho hum.

Advice for a young person starting out in their career.

• Find somewhere that treats people well

• Work with people you like

• Beware being shipped off to remote parts of the world with your colleagues for long stretches of time.

Out of My Comfort Zone

Went for dinner to a little place called Oren last night. It’s in Dalston, which, despite being just another part of East London, is annoyingly difficult to get to. It’s tiny but very good. One of those places where they had you a menu in 8 size font and say “do you understand the concept of our restaurant, we’re all about sharing plates, you’ll need about five per person so although it looks cheap on the face of it, don’t worry, you’ll still be getting the usual hefty bill at the end”. It’s lovely though.

We decided to go for a drink first so took the tube to Whitechapel and then the overground to Dalston Junction, where we’d agreed to meet in a pub called the Black Eel. Great pub, strange name. (This meant walking down Kingsland Road which is quite an experience. No gentrification going on there let me tell you.)

The reason for the name is that the premises used to be home to a pie and mash shop (they famously also sell jellied eels but for some reason were never called pie, mash and eel shops). Cue a strange conversation between my son and husband:

‘Did you know there are only ten pie and mash shops left in London?’ son offered.

‘Yes. G. Kelly on the Roman Road is still going. It’s great’ husband said.

‘Have you ever been?’

‘No.’

‘I have.’

‘What did you eat?’

‘Pie and mash.’

The quality of the dialogue! Might make it into my book.

As we left the restaurant after dinner - didn’t have dessert, rarely have dessert - we saw a child exiting the alley next door with the most delicious looking tub of ice-cream. This is nine-thirty at night. Who is selling ice-cream at nine-thirty at night down a back alley in the outer reaches of Dalston.

This guy! You have to go down the alley and through a little industrial-looking building to reach what apparently is an ice-cream speakeasy offering “Authentic, Argentine Gelato, crafted in Hackney.” It’s called Tano and you can get it on Deliveroo and Uber.

Bloomin’ delicious.

Fashion, Politics & AOB

• Fashion - pointless. It’s cold. Get your winter clothes back out.

• Politics. I can’t even go there.

• AOB. Anything. Anything but politics right now.

The Cultural Slot

This is more fun.

Went to the Theatre: With my old friend Beth, to see Rosamund Pike in Inter Alia. Superb. Little bit predictable but she’s so good in it, would definitely recommend.

Reading: Currently reading Go Gentle but I wanted to give a shout out to these other books in case you missed them.

London Falling - you’d have to be living under a proverbial stone to have missed this, it’s everywhere and it’s worth the hype. Patrick Radden Keefe’s telling of the story of what led to a nineteen year old boy leaping out of an apartment block into the Thames.

Stone Yard Devotional - completely the opposite. Quiet book, which is small but which takes time to read properly. You have to concentrate. Masterful writing. I’m in awe.

Heart the Lover - simple tale on the face of it but again, so well told.

I’m watching: Legends on Netflix Guardian gave it three stars, I’d give it five. Written by the same guy - Neil Forsyth - who wrote The Gold. Based on a true story about customs officers going undercover to tackle drug smugglers in the nineties.

I’m listening to: Just discovered Opening Lines on BBC Radio 4. The host unpacks the themes and impact of the books, plays and stories dramatised in the Sunday Drama series. Each episode is fifteen minutes. Fascinating.

Also found a great podcast called Writers on Writing where I listened to Charlotte Wood talking about writing Stone Yard Devotional.

I’ve spent a lot of time, this month, organising a reunion for the consulting team at the firm we all worked for and loved until it collapsed in 2002 (courtesy of the Enron scandal). Herding cats would be a better description. Event organisation is not my strong point. To be fair, organisation of anything is not my strong point. Never been a “completer finisher” type. It was a struggle going through the logistics - choosing a menu, selecting the drinks, managing the attendee list. Awful.

Earlier in the week, though, I was able to turn on to the much more interesting, fun question. What to wear? I asked my daughter, who wasn’t that interested, so I turned to my very fashionable friend, Erin. “What shall I wear?” I asked.

“Wear the dress” she answered.

An Extravagant Purchase

I bought THE DRESS in the summer of 2014. We were on holiday and went for a trip to the harbour where there were some extremely posh shops. In one of them, better known for luggage and handbags, I saw this dress on a mannequin. Fell in love. They didn’t have it in my size but my husband phoned the London shop and there was one there.

My excuse was that I needed something to wear for my friend Tom’s wedding. I promised I’d wear it a million times to bring down the cost per wear. Little did I know how true that promise was to be. (Not literally, obviously). I don’t think I ever straightened my hair again. The dress, however, endured.

A New Life is Born

On that very same holiday, my husband had been moaning about work. He was bored. I was not moaning about work because it was six years since I’d left my perfectly good job with no job to go to. I was bored.

‘I should set up a business” he said.

“Doing what?” I asked.

“I don’t know” he said.

“Well, I have an idea for a business” I said.

“What?” he asked.

“Doing something about the hundreds of women like me who gave up their careers to look after their kids and now want to go back but can’t find a way in,” I said.

“That’s a great idea” he said, “get on with it”.

A little taken aback, I did just that. He came up with the idea for a name - She’s Back - and I got on with figuring out a plan.

Through She’s Back, with the help of co-founder Deborah Khan and the sponsorship of six large organisations, including Deloitte, Allen & Overy and AXA, we did some research to prove the untapped potential in thousands of women in this situation

This led to the creation of the Reignite Academy, which I set up with Stephanie Dillon and Melinda Wallman in 2018. We couldn’t put our name badges on straight and our logo design was pitiful but we did persuade six major law firms to become founding members. Here we are at the launch. The business ran for seven years and we helped hundreds of female lawyers (and a few men too) return to work. And we had a lot of fun.

A Milestone

The dress was fished out for various occasions, including a milestone birthday in 2016. I was born in 1966, you work it out. Here I am with my friend Midge, waiting for my cocktail.

A Joyful Goodbye

One day in the Autumn of 2022, the clock in our kitchen turned to 31 September 2022.

I wasn’t there, I was at my old family home in Yorkshire. My father had just passed away. It seemed to be a sign. He was one in a million. He was 83 and had lived a very full and happy life. He’d been an atheist all his life but a few months before he died he told us in no uncertain terms he expected a full-on church funeral. He wanted the fuss, I think. He also put £1,000 behind the bar of the rugby club, where he had been chairman and to which he’d devoted most of his adult life. (I think we spent an awful lot more than that, given there must have been 200 people in the congregation, but that’s a different story).

His final instruction was that no-one was to wear black. They had to wear rugby club colours: blue, gold or maroon.

Guess what I wore. Here he is with my son, 2005. We didn’t take photos at the funeral. It was a joyous occasion because everyone celebrated his life.

The Theft

Was it stolen? Did it disappear? Was it shredded? We will never know, but after the funeral I took the dress to be dry cleaned at an establishment where they do the work on site. There is no way it could have been lost. When I went to collect it, they “couldn’t find it”.

Endless complaints, threats to go to the small claims court, tears, temper tantrums the lot. All of which meant nothing, really, because how do you replace a designer dress that you bought eight years ago, of which only a handful would have been made. I thought it was gone forever.

Until the dry cleaner miraculously found one in Canada - now for sale on Ebay - at a fairly hefty price it has to be said. The dry cleaner paid up, and the dress was replaced. Or was it the original? I’ll never know.

What to Wear Now?

No choice really.

So off we go. A reunion 24 years after the collapse of the firm we all loved. If were there and I missed you, hope you had fun. I was the one in the dress.

(Which I reckon is coming in at around £37.50 per wear which I think you’ll agree is a BARGAIN)

I’ll come back to the photo, I promise (I know, I haven’t changed a bit ...)

Forget Little Women, We Want Lord of the Flies

Went to my Creative Writing Class on Monday. It was my turn to have 2,500 words “workshopped”, whereby the other members of class give you some feedback on a chosen excerpt from your novel.

I gave them the first 2,500 words. A prologue which eluded to the drama that would come later in the novel, followed by the beginning of the story itself. You see, I’ve learnt that you have to “draw the reader in”, make them want to turn the page. There has to be tension, stakes, all the rest of it. Wasn’t quite sure the opening chapters were dramatic enough, hence the popping in of the prologue.

“The problem with prologues” our tutor said, “is that authors sometimes use them to create tension when they aren’t sure their opening chapters aren’t doing the job well enough.” Or something like that.

The prologue has been ditched. Opening chapters need more drama.

Helpfully, the group had some suggestions. My characters are all in a book group and the rest of my class said they were gleefully looking forward to the bits where they get bitchy, fall out with each other, sabotage, bully, betray, generally behave like mean girls. Two of them actually wrote “Lord of the Flies!” in their notes providing written feedback. I was thinking more Little Women than Lord of the Flies but maybe they’re onto something. At least it would be a way of creating tension.

Back to the drawing board on the plot.

The Reunion

Have you ever listened to The Reunion on BBC Radio 4? It’s great. The premise is that the presenter, currently Kirsty Walk, reunites people who worked together on something years ago. Completely varied list - The Iraq Peace Bus (campaigners who travelled to Baghdad to act as human shields) sits along side Downton Abbey (the launch of the TV series).

Anyway, that’s not what this is about. This is about the Reunion taking place later this week of the Andersen Business Consulting team, whose lives went in different directions following the collapse of the firm in 2002. I remember it well as I was pregnant with our first child. Alan, Ash, myself and Annie (photographed above) all found ourselves in New York late the following year and I don’t think we’ve all been together in the same place since.

Twenty four years later (I had to read that twice - twenty-four years!) almost two hundred of us are meeting up in our old offices, which, handily, are now the home to Soho House. We’ve decided to have name badges just in case some of us don’t look exactly like we did all those years ago.

I somehow managed to find myself with responsibility for organising the event, which is scary because event organisation is definitely NOT a key skill of mine. Luckily Rachel, who really did know how to organise these things has volunteered to help, everyone rest easy. Only two problems remain:

1. What to wear

2. What to say in answer to the question “So, what have you been doing with yourself?”

Forties, Fifties - From Faking it to Flipping Fantastic

Thinking about the last question, I realised that this period is effectively my forties and fifties. So, what have I been doing? Apart from raising kids, obviously.

Well, there has been tension there alright.

Set off my forties with a proper job, working for Deloitte, with a job title and an office and supreme confidence that I’d play the rest of my career out with the firm. Two years later, I walked out (you don’t need to hear that story again) and not long after found myself completely unemployable. Or so I thought. The scariest thing was losing the picture I carried around in my head of what my life was going to look like.

There was no obvious path forward. It’s not like there’s the equivalent of a grad programme anywhere for women who have accidentally given up on any chance of a career later in life. So I set out to create one. Set up She’s Back, wrote a book, put myself out there, shook a few trees, set up the Reignite Academy, got a seven year itch, wrote another book, well, a first draft of another book. Also cycled up and down a lot of mountains. Been fun.

All of this was much easier in my late forties and fifties than it would have been in my thirties. There are benefits to aging:

• You’re less likely to be spending your days looking after little people

• You know more people, so getting things done a whole lot easier

• You’re not quite so scared, plenty of failures behind you, what does another one matter

• You’ve tonnes more experience, wisdom, patience

• You don’t have to worry quite so much about wearing the right thing

• You don’t need to wear heels EVER AGAIN

The problem is you need to take your glasses with you wherever you go. It’s a small price to pay.

What now, what next?

I guess that’s the other question people might be asking you. Came across a great piece on Substack (I’m there - Lisa Unwin - subscribe, follow, whatever, I’m free) where an author was pondering this question. She’d recently asked a twenty-something friend what his dream was and he relayed his grand ambition to write screenplays for Holywood.

She reflected that her ambitions now are quite different, here’s what she wrote:

“What I’ve learnt after a 30 year career in the media is that it isn’t the big things that count – the job title or the size of the pay packet. It’s how your days are spent.”

My career wasn’t in the media, obviously, but I think that’s how I feel about the future. How I’d like to spend my days. Going to be pondering that question this week.

The Fashion Slot

I am not buying these because:

1. I can’t walk in them

2. Even on Vinted they are extremely expensive

But I do think they are a work of art and a younger, more foolish me, would have added them to the cart PDQ. They’re Loewe.

This, on the other hand, I did buy and I do recommend. Finally found an eyeliner that lasts. Comes in several shades.

The Cultural Slot

I finished: London Falling by Patrick Radden Keefe. Combination of audible and hard copy. Unputdownable. Also finished Heart the Lover by Lily King which was beautifully written and made me cry.

I’m reading: I hardly ever read non-fiction but PRK is so good I might read his Empire of Pain next, about the Sackler dynasty (led to TV series Dopesick). That said, I also fancy Dominion by Addie E. Kitchens, shortlisted for Women’s prize. Although the blurb on book websites is so detailed I reckon I know what’s going to happen, which is a shame. Otherwise, I’ve found a hardback copy of This Must Be the Place by Maggie O’Farrell which I definitely haven’t read but must have bought so might try that. Recommendations?

I watched: Secret Service with Gemma Arterton. Spent most of the first episode wondering why no-one ever mentioned her pregnancy. Some sort of political correctness taken too far? Then realised it wasn’t actually part of the plot, just a really bad job at a cover up. Couldn’t work out whether it was the acting that was wooden or the script. Then I remembered I’d bought the book some years ago (by Tom Bradby) and found it really boring, never finished. So, unsurprisingly, the TV series suffered the same fate.

I went to: the V&A Storehouse. It’s vast. Astonishing. Look at this - part of the facade of the Robin Hood Gardens estate. There are no guides, no explanations, no rhyme or reason to the order of things, you just mooch around.

I listened to: Service95 Book Club with Dua Lipa. An early edition where she discusses Trust with Hernan Diaz (one of my favorite books ever). In later episodes she talks to Jez Butterworth about his play Jerusalem and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie about Half of a Yellow Sun. Great find.

It’s all the rage. Might be because my phone is listening to me but I keep seeing insta posts with women talking about how much they are enjoying their 50s. And over on Substack (I’m a newbie), please follow/subscribe if you’re over there too, there are inspriational posts about authors who published their debut novel in their fifties, sixties or seventies.

I wrote the original version of this post two years ago. As I now approach 60, thought I’d give it a little update.

Grafting in my 30s, flailing in my 40s

Like many women, I spent my thirties with my head down, forging what I thought was going to be a long and successful career. It was, for a while, and then things fell apart a little when the challenge of juggling work and children threw me off kilter. During my forties, much of my energy was spent bringing up those children and, latterly, trying to rescue something from the remnants of my professional career.

Now? The kids are older, I have the perspective which comes with age; a wealth of fabulous networks that come from being around so long; renewed energy; access to technology that provides so much opportunity; and a passion for doing something that will make a lasting difference. Which is why I have been able to do these 5 things in my 50s that I simply would not have been able to do before:

Co-authored a book

I’ve co-authored a book, written with Deborah Khan – described by Arianna Huffington as “A must have guide to get more women back into the workplace.” Without the perspective that came from trying to juggle work and family I would never have appreciated the way in which women’s careers follow different paths, and why they need practical support and advice about how to return to work after a break.

Took on a physical challenge

Together with 8 other fabulous women, and with the support of a team from Rapha, I cycled up one of the most brutal mountain climbs in France. This was not just a physical challenge but a mental one too. I learnt about the need for the right training, the right nutrition, having a good coach and ultimately realizing that you are the only one who can pedal your bike

It wasn’t until my children were older that I had the time to do the sort of training it takes to be physically able to meet this challenge.

Built a business or two

Recognising the opportunity to make an impact for women in law, I got together with Stephanie Dillon and Melinda Wallman to set up the Reignite Academy . Tanja Spittal joined soon after and for the last seven years, we worked hard to provide opportunities for female lawyers to reignite their careers.

There is no way, in my thirties, I would have had the chutzpah to approach some large and successful law firms and tell them they needed to take a different approach to help women get their careers back on track. It wasn’t exactly a walk in the park but we had the experience to know that’s exactly what these firms needed to do and the gravitas that comes with having been around a long time. (Putting a name badge on straight was another matter).

Tapping into your Creative Self

When I was little, I was good at maths but couldn’t draw. My brother was the artist, so he was the creative one. Took me a while to realise that creativity is not about being able to draw. Here’s an alternative definition.

Creativity is defined as the tendency to generate ideas, alternatives, or possibilities that may be useful in solving problems, communicating with others, and entertaining ourselves and others.

What I’ve learnt is that thriving in your fifties demands a great deal of creativity. No-one’s going to lay it all out for you. Instead, you need to generate, test and find alternative possibilities, new solutions. Looking back, my advice would be:

• Take a leap. Be brave. Take a chance. In many ways, there’s a lot less to lose now. And in my experience, if you leap, someone will be there with a net.

• Tap into your network - all the people you know. You’ll be amazed how many of them will be happy, willing and motivated to help.

• Be prepared to experiment, you don’t know where things will lead. She’s Back didn’t lead to a lucrative business model but it did lead to the Reignite Academy. Granted, I’m still not a business mogul but we did make an impact.

• Put yourself out there. Physically - get out, meet people old and new, talk to them IRL - and online. Platforms like this one, Substack and others, are amazing places to meet people and tap into new ideas.

• Always be ready and keen to learn.

• Be open to new possibilities.

• Celebrate the wins. Have fun. Otherwise, what’s the point.

New Milestone, New Plan

As I approach a new milestone, there’s a new plan. Write a novel. First draft complete. Now the hard work begins - and I’ll be tapping into those learning points with all my heart.

The eagle-eyed amongst you will notice that’s not actually me in the photo. I did not run the London marathon this week. Or ever. What I DID do, though, is finish the first draft of my book! 89,524 words. I know, yes, I’m extremely proud of myself. Thank you.

When I set out to write a book, back in September, I had no idea what the story was going to be, just a vague idea about themes and a character in mind: the protagonist, to use the jargon. She (of course it was a she) was an awful lot like me and the themes were similar to the issues I’d faced at work and in life. Goodness, it was boring.

I realised I’d have to make up some new characters - invented them from scratch, gave them back stories, wrote from three different points of view. Still had no idea what the story was going to be. But here’s the funny thing - the characters did the writing for me. They would wake me up in the middle of the night, telling me what they were going to do, letting me in on secrets they hadn’t divulged to anyone. Things got interesting.

The First Draft is Messy

It’s like anything, when you begin, you’re not very good. I guess it’s the same with any new skill, your first attempt is going to be a bit of a mess. It’s definitely true of my novel, so the work now will be to edit, refine, rewrite. I think Ernest Hemingway once said

The only kind of writing is rewriting.

So that’s what I’ll be spending the rest of my time with.

Sneak Peek

The easiest chapters to write were the ones where my characters discuss the books they are reading (they are in a book club, obviously). Here are some of the books they choose - along with My Sister the Serial Killer, which I must have loaned out. (By the way, it’s not a spoiler alert to tell you that none of them is or becomes a serial killer).

I thought it was a novel (excuse the pun) idea and laughed heartily when they chose Mrs Dalloway as their first read because they thought it looked “nice and short”. Then I realised I would need to re-read each book in order to write the book club conversations about them. Enjoyable but crikey did that add to the time.

No-one Cares About Your Career as much as You

One of my characters runs training courses and this is her mantra when she is talking to women about taking hold of their own future. She also tells them this:

Never rely on anyone else for business development. You risk putting the future of your career in their hands.

I’ve been reading a lot about how difficult the publishing industry is, how impossible it will be to find an agent and even if I do find an agent how unlikely it will be to find a publisher willing to take my book. Which is all a bit depressing.

Unless, I take this mantra on board. Whether I find a traditional publisher or end up going the self publishing route, what seems very clear is that authors, especially debut authors, have to put some energy and effort into marketing. Read a great piece this morning which had some specific advice.

• Give it some energy, show you’re willing to put in the drive and effort

• Know your audience - who are you trying to target, no scatterguns

• Build a platform, wherever that platform is

• Own your plan

• Grasp every opportunity, however small, to put yourself out there.

I think this is true for anyone who’s trying to make a mark somewhere.

Say Yes

In a previous life, I had to teach myself to be better at saying “no”. No to clients who wanted to look as though they cared about diversity but would never give any of our candidates a job, no to the endless “opportunities” to speak for no fee on International Women’s Day, that sort of thing.

As I’m now a poor struggling debut author, all that is out of the pram. Serendipitously, just this week I had three requests, both based on my previous work rather than my novel, but who cares, I’ll find a way to shoehorn it in. They are:

1. A New York based reading group contacted me to say they’re reading my book, She’s Back and wanted to know if I’d be open to participating in a discussion and Q&A session. YES YES YES (who knows, they may also read fiction).

2. A guy with a podcast about work, specifically, seeing beyond the CV, asked if I would be a guest (YES YES YES )

3. A lovely lawyer is running a panel event with the International Women’s Cyber Alliance including a discussion around navigating career breaks, would I be involved. YOU BET.

Just so you know, I’m open to offers. No fee involved. Which reminds me of the time I did a breakfast meeting with a multinational consultancy and they gave me a mug to say thank you. I still have it.

The Fashion Slot

Last week I showed you all a picture of an orange cardigan from YMC, suggesting you club together to buy it as a gift. It hasn’t arrived. My daughter said ‘I bet by the time you write your newsletter next week, you’ll have bought that cardigan.” I haven’t. My birthday is 27th June.

No specific items this week, but for anyone brave enough to be planning a holiday (will there be any jet fuel left by July?) I thought I’d share this, in case you haven’t already seen it on Instagram or TikTok.

It’s the Sudoku packing method where you plan three outfits - top, bottom, layer - that can all be mixed and matched - as in, each vertical, horizontal and diagonal line offers a different outfit. Genius. Not sure what you do about shoes.

Thought for the Week

I stole this from the article I mentioned earlier, with advice for novelists on building a platform, selling the book etc. Rather like it.

The Culture Slot

Once you’re finished your first draft, the advice is to put it away for a week or two before beginning the edit process. So I’ve had time on my hands.

I’m reading: London Falling by Patrick Radden Keefe. I don’t read much non-fiction but his writing makes this investigation of the death of a nineteen year old Londoner a totally absorbing and compelling read. He also wrote Say Nothing about the Troubles in Northern Ireland, which was subsequently made into a TV series. Also fabulous.

And on a much lighter and also beautifully written note, I’m reading Heart the Lover by Lily King. Made the Women’s prize shortlist this week.

I’m listening to: History’s Greatest Fails podcast, with Dan Jones and Elizabeth Day. Both great broadcasters. Plus The Book Club because they were discussing East of Eden which is one of my favourite books. And Patrick Radden Keefe on The New York Times Book Review podcast. He talks about writing London Falling but also the writers who in spire him and his writing process.

I’m watching: Criminal Record season 1, even though I’ve seen it before, because season 2 coming out soon. Very good. And Hidden Assets. OK.

She’s Back! Earlier this week, Madonna (67) announced her comeback tour: Confessions on a Dancefloor II. I saw her perform live in London around ten years ago. She skipped (literally, with a skipping rope) the whole of the way through one of her songs: five minutes. I could probably skip for a minute, if you pressed me, but no way would I be able to sing at the same time.

Impressive.

Comebacks are not Just for Pop Stars

Here’s the thing. Whilst I applaud Madonna for geting her show back on the road, you don’t have to be famous to be able to make a career comeback. With all of us living til we’re 90 and none of us having saved anywhere nearly enough for retirement, it’s something we will all need to get used to.

And having worked in this field for a few years now, I’ve learnt a thing or two about why women, in particular, need to take this whole thing seriously and how to do it.

Women’s Careers Rarely Follow Straight Lines

As Avivah Wittenberg Cox points out in her BRILLIANT book the 4 Phases of Women’s careers, this version of “success” often doesn’t work for women.

(I suspect we will increasingly find that it doesn’t work for men either but that’s another story).

Instead, having spent their 20s moving along at just the same pace as their male peers, women often get a bit of a shock in their 30s or early 40s.

It’s not always about children, but often there is a time in their late thirties when careers stall or women make different choices.

And like Madonna, after a while, they find they still have some creative ambitions left to fulfil. They have renewed energy, a sense of purpose, a drive to get their careers back on track.

Don’t Write Us Off

The problem, though, is that 99% of the recruitment industry is inherently and, sometimes unconsciously, biased. Recruiters are incentivised by a measure called “time to fill vacancy” and so CVs that have weird gaps on them and seem to belong to women old enough to be their mothers are not particularly appealing.

Which is daft, when you think about it, because anyone whose managed to navigate a career, children, international relocations, bit of a career gap, divorce, some retraining etc should be admired rather than sniffed at. Even if they haven’t got a back catalogue like Madonna’s.

What I’ve Learned

• The length of the career break bears NO CORRELATION to someone’s ability to return to their professional career.

• Skills, knowledge, training, experience all come flooding back. Madonna can still sing, albeit her voice might be a little lower and, perhaps grainier, more mellow, with more life experience behind her. She hasn’t forgotten how to choreograph a dance and put on an entertaining show. Others are no different.

• All you need is a chance. I’ve worked with hundreds of women returning to work after a career break. The biggest thing they need is for someone - an employer - to give them a chance. It’s all about the work.

Tactics for your Comeback

If you’re planning a comeback yourself, here are some tips to help you succeed.

1. It begins in your head. Don’t let the nagging voices tell you it’s too late, you’re too old, you can’t do this. You CAN.

2. Begin with your STRENGTHS. Remember what you’re good at, where you excel, what you know.

3. Remain connected or RECONNECT if you’ve lost touch. Your network - friends, colleagues, old clients, so many people you know in your community - will be able to help. You are five times more likely to find work through someone you know than you are with a recruiter.

4. Build a support team. Don’t underestimate the value of a mentor, coach, buddy, someone who will encourage you, banish the imposter syndrome. Get the family on board too. If you’re going to be around less, they may need to do more.

5. Be ready to move. Be prepared to take a risk. Don’t wait for the perfect timing. Be at the net.

Have Faith

Grit, determination, self confidence, self belief and self criticism. It’s never going to be easy but you’re made of strong stuff. Have faith in yourself and what you can deliver. Remember: lives are long and messy. Women’s careers rarely follow straight lines. Play the long game.

Time, it’s precious, right. In my earlier life I used to run a training session on time management techniques. Read several books in preparation. Took ages,. Thought I’d share some of my top tips to save you the bother. And the time, obviously.

We are all knowledge workers now

This is fundamental. We’re paid to think; to learn new skills; create rare insights; do high quality, focused work. We’re there to add value beyond what AI can do.

Cal Newport provides a useful definition of what he refers to as “Deep Work”, in the book of the same name:

“Professional activities performed in a state of distraction-free concentration, that push your cognitive capabilities to their limit. These efforts create new value, improve your skill and are hard to replicate.”

However, all the technology around us is in danger of destroying our ability to focus, to think, to be creative. We are in danger of being constantly distracted. What by? A barrage of emails, notifications from all angles, meetings that don’t matter, phones pinging, you know the score.

So what can you do about it?

Think 80:20

Can you answer the question: “What are you paid to do?” How will you be measured? What are you there for?

Fact is, 20% of what you do in any given day will matter a lot and will be responsible for 80% of your impact (Phil Dobson, the Brain Book).

“Slow down and remember this: most things make no difference. Being busy is a form of mental laziness.” Tim Ferris, the 4 hour work week.

It’s a useful discipline at the start of each week or each day to be able to identify which are your three “most valuable tasks”.

Be in tune with your circadian rhythms

We all know this, right? Most of us are at our most productive, most creative, first thing in the morning. So why do we waste that time making lists, sorting admin, checking emails?

DO NOT CHECK YOUR EMAILS FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

“Emails are someone else’s to do list for you.” Ashton Kutcher.

Unless you’re highly disciplined, before you know it, you’ve spent the first hour of your highly creative day responding to emails which are nothing to do with your own priorities. Or making lists that you have no energy to tackle.

Take proper breaks.

The Pomodoro technique recommends you break work up into 25 minute chunks, with a 5 minute break in between. After four chunks you take a 15 - 20 minute break. Other studies suggest you shouldn’t try to do 90 minutes without a break.

Whatever you choose, here’s the thing. The break is the thing.

Do not simply switch to some other task, check emails, browse social media or whatever. Stand up, take a walk, meet someone for lunch, go outside, breathe. The quality of your break will have a direct impact on the quality of your next slug of work. Burning out is not clever. Or as Arianna Huffington put it:

We’re suffering from the delusion that in order to succeed we need to burnout ... but in order to be most creative, most productive we need to prioritise our ability to recharge.

Learn to say No

“Focusing is about saying No”. Steve Jobs

Whatever your official role description you are inevitably going to be asked to do other things from time to time. They could be large, could be small.

Nanette Gartrell has written a very helpful book called “My answer is No if that’s OK with you”. It takes a fresh look at why even the most powerful, accomplished, and successful women find it difficult to say NO and offers a revolutionary approach to setting limits without jeopardizing important relationships.

Be proactive

Manage your attention. The most successful people, according to Steven Covey (and after all the author of the Seven Habits of Highly Successful People must know what he’s talking about) are proactive about where they focus their attention.

Proactive people focus on the things they can control: where they work, who they work with, what they do, how they spend their time, how far they travel, when they take breaks, what they read, how they spend their leisure time. He refers to this as their “Circle of Control”

Which is distinct from their “Circle of Concern”, which contains all the things you might worry about but which you can’t actually influence (most of the time): someone else’s promotion; office politics; the strait of Hormuz.

Another great thinker on this topic is Laura Van Der Khan, author of 168 hours and “What the Most Successful People do before Breakfast” who is adamant that we all have a lot more time than we think, we just fritter it away through poor planning. Here’s the quote that made me sit up and listen to what she had to say.

“If people are thinking about taking an 80 percent schedule I would caution against that, because it is quite possible to slack for twenty percent of the time and still get paid for it.”