I am privileged to say that I have been able to visit many different countries already by the age of 21. This is something that not everybody can say and I am aware of how lucky I have been in my life to have experienced it.

However, that being said, you do not need to travel for months on end to have a fulfilling life or ‘live your life to the fullest’.

Now this may be a controversial take but just hear me out.

I by no means want to come across as out of touch, as I said, I know the privilege that I’ve had to be able to travel and see parts of the world that many people may never get to.

However, in this article I want to express a perspective that I don’t see a lot of.

It may just be me but I am constantly seeing people ‘go travelling’ where they’ll save up to stay in South East Asia for 5 months or move to Australia for a year. It seems to be a pretty common theme for young people nowadays.

And i’m not here to criticise it, I am all for travelling while you’re young and gaining as many different experiences as possible as I agree that it can be one of the best things ever. I completely understand why so many people take the opportunity to do so if it’s presented to them.

But I want to talk about the other side of this. And that’s the pressure to travel in order to ‘live life to the fullest’.

I may be one of the only people to ever think this, but not everybody wants to travel.

And I’m not talking about a week long holiday with your family or your boyfriend (although I’m sure there’s someone out there who doesn’t particularly like those either).

I’m talking about the hardcore, months on end, heavy backpack, night-bus, hostel after hostel travelling.

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I am currently ‘travelling’ for six and a half weeks around Europe and don’t get me wrong, it’s incredible as everybody always said it would be, but there can be serious highs and lows. It’s intense and honestly, it’s not for everybody.

I knew before coming on this trip that I’d find certain aspects difficult because i don’t know if I have the right sort of personality for it, but i wanted the experience at least for a few weeks to say that I’ve done it and figure out if it is for me.

And as I said before, I feel incredibly privileged to even be able to be on this trip, let alone writing this article being truly honest about it.

Because I think being someone who doesn’t necessarily want to travel does almost have a certain stigma to it.

Family members are always asking me why I don’t go travelling for a year or live abroad like everyone else seems to do. But when I answer honestly that I just don’t really want to, it’s almost always met with utter confusion.

It’s as if I can see the cogs turning in their heads ‘Why wouldn’t you want to go travelling?’, ‘Why would you want to work and settle down instead?’, ‘Be free while you’re young or you’ll regret it!’

And while I am enjoying the trip that I’m on, it’s almost as if I’m feeling a certain pressure to enjoy it and have the best time of my life.

When in all honesty, I know there’s things that I find more joy in than travel.

And maybe it’s societal pressure, pressure from people I know or maybe it’s just me being stupid and thinking too much into things as I usually do, but I wanted to share my thoughts just in case somebody else feels the same.

I find joy in my life from simple home comforts and spending time with my loved ones. There is nothing I love more than sitting on the sofa with my boyfriend, my dog and a takeaway, and watching something on TV.

It’s so simple and yet that is honestly where I am at my absolute happiest.

I like envisioning the future that we’ll have and the idea of my own home and a family.

I like going to the pub for lunch with my mum, dinner dates and meeting my friends for a coffee.

All of these are such small things but when I really think about what makes me happy, it’s that.

When I think about what I want out of life, it’s to settle down and build a family and a career that I find enjoyment in. Yes, I’d like to be able to afford a couple of nice trips every now and then, but I don’t feel as though travelling while I’m young will truly fulfil me.

In fact, the thought of missing out on those things and those people for months, or even years on end, makes me feel quite sad.

And that’s okay.

Sometimes I feel like I’m doing something wrong or moving too quickly, but the truth is just that everybody wants different things. I’m not saying that I don’t want to see new parts of the world because I do, but the point I want to get across is that you don’t need to see the entire world to feel as though you’re living your life to its fullest potential.

Sometimes the entire world can be right in front of you.

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You don’t need to be away from your family and friends for a year or more and see over 30 countries. Doing it at your own pace is good too.

And although some people don’t really understand how travelling isn’t really me, someone did make me feel much better about it by saying ‘it just shows that you’re happy with your life at home’.

I’d never really thought about it that way but now that I’ve put it into perspective then yeah, I think that is what it truly comes down to.

I suppose I don’t feel as though I need to travel and experience lots of new things in one long trip, because I’ve already found a lot of the things that make me truly happy and make my life fulfilling.

It’s difficult to express and sometimes I do wish that I was the kind of person who thrived in this environment, but honestly I know that six weeks of this will be more than enough for me. I applaud anyone who travels long-term because it is exhausting.

I guess I just wanted to make the point that you shouldn’t compare yourself to other people, because the right thing for you will likely be different to somebody else.

Yes the world is huge and the amazing experiences and places to see are endless, but you can absolutely find fulfilment and happiness through anything. You do not have to travel to live your best life and make the most of it.

Don’t feel guilty for staying at home and reading the new book you just bought or learning a new recipe. ‘Boring’ hobbies are not wasting your youth.

In my opinion, spending time doing anything that you feel like you have to do, rather than wanting to do it for yourself is the real waste.

So many things can bring happiness and fulfilment to your life and that will never be wasted time.

You don’t need to feel behind or left out just because everyone else seems to be doing something that isn’t right for you.

Don’t force yourself to try and live your best life through other peoples expectations. Find what makes you truly happy and stick with that.

At 16 I’d met someone that I wanted to spend time with and who I thought was fun. But at that age you’re not considering adult questions like ‘What qualities do I really want in a partner?’

Time goes on and there’s good times, bad times and before you know it you’ve spent years with someone and you’re starting to think ‘How could I possibly get out of this?’

You’ve been together so long that it’s become routine, your families are familiar and everybody starts talking about the future as if it’s guaranteed. Nothing is specifically wrong but something doesn’t feel right either.

The smaller things slowly start to become bigger things and you’re left questioning whether this is the kind of person you want to be with, even if he is a ‘nice guy’.

Yes you have lots to talk about, he buys you nice gifts on your birthday and a level of comfort grows between you. You watch shows together, go for dinner or even book some nice holidays…but something feels like it’s missing.

He’s not doing anything wrong per se but maybe that’s the problem. He’s not doing anything.

You have a different sense of humour or he says the wrong thing at the wrong time. He stops planning dates because he thinks after the time you’ve been together that he doesn’t have to try anymore, or even worse he tells you he didn’t plan a date because he says ‘I don’t know where you like to eat’ after 3 ½ years…

In simple terms, comfort becomes complacency.

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And let me tell you from experience that in a relationship the small things matter far more than the big things.

Yes it’s amazing if your partner is buying you expensive jewellery or booking surprise trips away, but I’m going to be brutally honest in saying that those things matter so much less than the actual characteristics of the person you’re with.

Do they do the small things too? Do they support your goals and push you to be a better person? Are they caring, do they truly listen and know how to comfort you when you’re upset? Will they cook you dinner when you’re tired to save you a job?

I could ask a million of these hypothetical questions but it really comes down to something very simple: Would they inconvenience themselves to make your life easier?

Because one thing that I’ve learnt is that if you’ve found someone who will, that’s an extremely rare trait. To find someone who loves you to the point where they only want to see you happy and relaxed and they will do anything in their power to make things easier for you, that’s real love.

And that’s something that I took far too long to realise was missing from my previous relationship.

And it took me too long to leave.

Because I had convinced myself that I was wrong and I was being ‘too picky’ or ‘too harsh’. He was a nice guy and he tried his best, making me feel guilty for ever having doubts.

Because no-one wants to leave the nice guy. It’s a hard thing to do.

But as harsh as it sounds, just because he’s trying his best doesn’t mean that it’s good enough. And it doesn’t mean that your needs don’t deserve to be met. That took me a long time to realise.

When the person you’re with is a good person, they love you and you have love for them, it can feel so cruel to doubt them or realise that you might want something that they can’t provide.

I worried about how our families and friends would take it if I broke things off and I worried how my life would be altered because he’d been such a big part of it for such a long time.

It was scary to feel unhappy and face the fact that things may change, but the idea of that unhappiness lasting for a lifetime was even more terrifying.

And at the end of the day, your partner is the person that you’re going to live with, who’ll be there to take care of you if you get sick. They’re the one who you may want to raise children with and they’re the person who will need to pick up the pieces after people you love pass away. You need to know that they’ll be up for the job.

So I’m here to tell you to dump the nice guy.

Obviously I’m not referring to generally nice men because there are some amazing ones out there. I’m talking about the guys who are nice…but that’s about it.

Being a good person and being a good partner are not the same thing.

And nobody should feel guilty for wanting more in a partner or realising that your needs are not being met.

If you feel that things are missing or your partner isn’t giving you those small things that are so important, please don’t be afraid to move on because you will find someone who will do the things you want and need. You’re not being too harsh or picky.

Never settle.

It’s something I have learnt through experience when I was in a situation where I felt trapped. I felt as though he hadn’t done anything specifically wrong and therefore I couldn’t just break up with him.

I was wrong.

The best thing I could’ve done for myself is break up with that boy. As I said, not because he was a bad guy or because he had done anything horrendously wrong to me but because deep down I knew he wasn’t my person.

He wouldn’t prioritise me in the small moments where it mattered, I never felt taken care of, and I knew that if I stayed any longer I would be settling.

I also knew that it would be unfair to him if I continued that relationship, because not only did I feel that I needed something different but he deserved to be with someone who could give him 100% and meet all of his needs, and I certainly couldn’t do that anymore.

If I was to give any advice at all it would be that you don’t need a specific or big reason to end it.

Of course for most people there are reasons that lead to a break up, whether they be big or small, but if your gut is just telling you that this person isn’t your person, that is enough. There doesn’t need to be a huge cheating scandal or major disrespect, sometimes it’s just a compilation of small things building up or a feeling that it just isn’t right.

When I broke up with my ex I felt awful, I felt cruel because I hurt him and selfishly I worried that I would never find someone else.

After a few days that feeling swiftly went away as I realised I had made the right decision for me. A weight was lifted off my shoulders and I felt so much happier with, what felt like, my newfound freedom

That led to me doing things that I never would have done before and I met someone who I am so much more compatible with, where it just feels right. He takes care of me, pays attention to the little things and makes me feel prioritised and loved.

If I’d never taken that risk and I had settled then I would not have been anywhere near as happy as I am now and I wouldn’t have met the person who I am now extremely in love with, who sets the standards very high for how I should expect to be treated.

So my message is to do what is right for you. Don’t settle because someone’s ‘nice’ and you don’t want to hurt them or you think the relationship is ‘good enough’. Be picky, prioritise yourself and have high standards because somebody out there will meet them.

Short term heartbreak or discomfort is better than a lifetime of regret or unhappiness.

You don’t have to feel stuck in a relationship or confused about whether it’s right or wrong. You’ll know if it’s right for you and you shouldn’t feel guilty if it’s not.

So, dump the nice guy, because you never know who else you might meet or what else could be waiting for you.

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Always the good kid that listens and never gets in trouble, but never the top of the class. Never the one who gets the most praise or stands out.

My grades were always good but never the best.

I always seemed to feel disappointed despite my parents always being proud and other kids seeing me as one of the ‘smart ones’.

But for some reason that never made me feel better.

I’ve always been an overachiever and a perfectionist, but in a strange way that was actually because I believed in myself.

I always thought I could do better and reached for the highest achievements because I felt capable of achieving them. The trouble is that when you aim high, if you don’t reach what you’re aiming for then it inevitably ends in disappointment, even if you have objectively done well.

I was the kid who was consistently getting A’s and B’s in school, just never the A*’s that I wanted.

Now I look back and see how hard I’ve been on myself all the way through my academic career, but sometimes you can’t control it.

My disappointments came from hope and belief and hard work that still never seemed to quite reach the mark.

And that disappointment hits even harder when you’ve worked so hard on something that you become confident…just to not quite reach what you wanted.

And it’s a hard pill to swallow.

So I’m writing this article for all of the people out there who can relate to this feeling of always doing well and yet still feeling like they could’ve done better.

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This isn’t an advice article. I’m not going to tell you to stop overachieving or to just accept your fate, because that’s what I feel like I’ve always been told. And it kind of sucks.

Nobody ever seems to speak about this side of disappointment because it always seems to get dismissed.

At times, I’ve felt invalidated by my disappointments. Always feeling like other people have done worse than you so you can’t be unhappy, or being told: ‘You’ve done amazingly, you must be happy with that’ or ‘Don’t be disappointed, you’re too hard on yourself’.

And yes that may be true and yes these messages all come from a place of love and support, but they can also make you feel like you aren’t allowed to be disappointed.

So what if other people are failing? Why should that impact how you feel or react? If you’ve put in the work then you should be allowed to feel how you feel.

Everybody’s proud but you know you could’ve done better, and it’s almost not allowed.

You’re not failing and you’re not at the bottom of the pack so you should be happy and grateful because other people would kill for your grades. But you’re also never at the top. You don’t get awards or special recognition, you just get the satisfaction of knowing that you’re slap bang in the middle and doing okay.

Well sometimes, that’s not enough.

And although it may not be true, it always seemed to be that the kids at the top never really needed to try as hard as you. They’re all naturally gifted but you’ve spent hours on end working tirelessly to try and get the best results possible…just to get a B or maybe an A if you’re really lucky.

And I guess to everybody else, getting results that seem good to them means that they don’t understand why you’d be upset. I mean, you’re not getting bad results or failing, right? So what are you complaining about?

But when you’ve spent countless hours working hard just for it to feel like it hasn’t paid off…that can be really hard.

And sometimes it can make you want to stop trying.

I went through this all the way through school, never truly feeling proud of myself even though I should have been.

And if you’re in a similar boat then maybe try and give yourself a bit of grace. Being this way can take a real mental toll which isn’t always healthy, so make sure you’re looking after yourself. You’re doing the best that you can and that is good enough, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

But on the flip side, you’re allowed to feel disappointed or upset if you don’t get the outcome that you wanted after working really hard for something. That feeling can be so difficult, even if others don’t understand it.

You don’t have to be grateful for something that wasn’t handed to you on a plate. You should only be grateful for all of the work you put in, and proud of your own work ethic and resilience.

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Recently, I finally managed to get rid of this feeling of constant let-downs, but only after it happened again.

I’d spent a year working on my final university project only for the grade to come back and be a huge disappointment. I felt like it didn’t reflect the amount of work I’d put in at all.

And it’s the same story. Other people would’ve probably killed for the grade I got, but I was really unhappy.

But I was allowed to be. I’m the one who put in the work and if I didn’t feel like that hard work was reflected then I am allowed to be disappointed. And this is something that took me a long time to realise and accept.

I thought that this project had ruined my chances of getting the degree I wanted. I so desperately wanted to get that First Class Honours but this one result had drastically pulled down my average. Don’t get me wrong, a 2.1 is an amazing degree but I was so disappointed at the thought of my chances being ruined.

It took a huge toll on me and I was left in a position where I was right on the borderline between the two classifications.

Once again I was left feeling disappointed and as though I was just going to miss the mark. I was pretty heartbroken in all honesty.

But my other assignments managed to pull me through and I managed to earn that First Class degree that I’d been so desperately working towards. To say I was relieved or happy is an understatement.

Seeing that I’d achieved what I wanted made everything finally feel worth it. It seemed to make up for years of me feeling simply average.

It’s what made me reflect on my academic journey. I was finally in a position where I felt really, truly proud of myself and knowing I couldn’t have achieved anything better felt incredible.

It’s the feeling I’d been waiting for throughout my entire academic career. The ability to be truly proud and feel as though all my hard work had paid off. And it did, at the time when I needed it to happen most.

It really signifies the end of my academics and shown that hard work does pay off, even if it takes a while.

So if you’re feeling the same in any way, just know that your time will come.

Being an overachiever or a perfectionist can take a real mental toll. So be kind to yourself and try your best to be proud of whatever you have achieved.

Your journey is yours and you’re allowed to feel however you want about it.

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Life had just become so busy with my studies, my societies and everything else life decided to throw at me.

But that excuse can only get me so far.

Once everything finally started to calm down I quickly realised that it wasn’t just the lack of time that was keeping me from doing all of these things that I kept saying I wanted to do. It was motivation.

My schedule opened up and I found myself sleeping in late, doing little with my day and doomscrolling the second I got bored. It made me realise how easily bad habits start to form when you’re not sticking to a strict timetable of things that need to be done.

In theory, I wanted to make time to paint, read, write, crochet and a lot of other things that I’d let slip whilst I was busy. Yet, when the occasion arrived where I had a day free, I couldn’t bring myself to do any of it.

And it wasn’t because I didn’t want to necessarily, it was simply the fact that I was completely lacking the motivation to get up and actually start.

I kept using the same lines of ‘I need to be in the right mood’ or ‘I’ll do it later’, but honestly, later never tends to come.

Laziness got the better of me and rather than having busyness as an excuse, I was now using ‘rest’.

I convinced myself that I deserved a break after finishing my studies and it’s true that I did, however, I was kidding myself that doing the things I enjoy was not considered resting.

Let’s be honest, sitting down to paint isn’t exactly the most taxing job in the world. In fact, it’s something I’ve always used to relax.

So why was I finding it so hard to just start?

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Is it my phone and the fact that it makes my attention span get shorter and shorter? That seems easy to blame. Lack of creativity, maybe? Or it could simply just be laziness.

If I really think about it, honestly, it just comes down to ease.

It is easy not to do anything.

It is easy to sit and think about what I could be doing…and then not do it.

I could sit here and write a five or ten step guide about ‘how to be more motivated’ or ‘what you can do to be more productive’ but I’m going to keep it simple.

Just get up and do it.

There is only one way to be more productive and do all of the things you have been waiting to do, and that is to just do it. Force yourself.

You’ve been waiting for that perfect idea to write about for your first substack article? The fact of the matter is that you’re never going to have the ‘perfect’ idea, you just need to write. Get your words on the page and just start. The ideas will follow.

Waiting to sit down and start that new book because you haven’t found the right moment? Just pick it up and start reading.

When you push yourself to start, the first minute or ten may feel difficult or tedious but then it’s done. All you need is that initial push and your passion may be reignited.

Truthfully, there is no life hack to become more motivated. You just need to force yourself to start and as you get back into a hobby or start to see results from that side hustle, you will want to keep going.

So stop being like me and making excuses. Find time and do whatever it is that you’ve been waiting for.

It’s so easy to find a reason not to do something. What’s hard is getting up and doing.

And who knows? Maybe it will lead to something great. You’ll never know until you try.

I know this is much easier said than done because if you are lacking motivation it can be so difficult to find it again. But my advice would be to just start simple. Put your phone down and go for a walk. Look for inspiration or maybe try and find a new hobby. It doesn’t have to be something huge, sometimes the smallest changes make the biggest differences.

Reading before bed instead of doomscrolling on your phone for example, or painting in the garden instead of being stuck inside watching TV.

Whatever it is, you can become more motivated when you just make a start.

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But when you’ve worked your arse off for something and that hard work doesn’t pay off…it stings.

I recently went through this exact situation when I received my results for my final journalistic project at the end of my degree.

And yes, I may have been naïve. My social media had been flooded with videos of students opening their results and bursting into a flood of tears as they realised that all of their hard work paid off. They got grades much higher than they expected and earned a true moment of pride that, of course, they wanted to share.

Unfortunately for me I didn’t consider the fact that the people who weren’t happy with their dissertation results wouldn’t be shouting it from the rooftops or blasting it all over social media.

Part of me thought, “this is our last project, the most important one, surely they’ll mark us nicely after knowing how much hard work has been put into this”.

Spoiler alert: I was sorely mistaken.

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After a year of really hard work, reaching out for over 50 interviews, conducting my own survey, drafting and re-writing my 4000 words over and over and suffering constant battles with the InDesign software…my grade did not reflect any of this.

The late nights, the stress, none of it.

And maybe it’s my fault for having expectations too high or allowing my supervisor to get my hopes up by telling me how amazingly I’d been working all year.

I went over and over in my head wondering what I could’ve done differently to achieve what I actually wanted.

But realistically, none of that mattered. The grading was final and there was nothing I could do about it. No matter how much it upset me or how much I thought the marking was unfair. It was irrelevant and I simply had to suck it up.

And you may be thinking that this is a stupid thing to share, after all it’s just a uni assignment. It’s not that deep.

But the point that I’m trying to make with this post is that it took me far too long to realise that it shouldn’t have had such an impact on me.

But the truth of the matter is that it did.

And if anybody else is out there feeling devastated that they didn’t get the grade or the degree that they wanted then I can tell you that you are absolutely valid.

Yes, it’s just an assignment and in the grand scheme of things it really doesn’t mean all that much. But if you put a lot of time and a lot of effort into something and don’t feel like it paid off then you are absolutely allowed to be upset and disappointed.

I felt awful when I opened my grade and saw that dreaded number staring back at me.

It felt completely personal as my project was a piece of writing that I’d worked so hard on. Writing, as most of you will know, is an incredibly personal and intimate thing, so to be told that it’s not as good as you think can be gut-wrenching.

But after I’d worked through my disappointment I finally came to acceptance.

Sometimes, when coping with disappointment or your perceived idea of ‘failure’, the only thing you can do is accept it. You can’t change what’s happened but you can change your outlook.

When I was feeling down, multiple people told me: “You’re too hard on yourself! You’ve still done amazingly”.

And after a lot of reflection I realised that maybe they’re right.

When you hold yourself to a high standard it can be easy to feel disappointed, but can be so difficult to feel proud.

I think the best way of coping with that disappointment is to turn it into something new.

For me, that was realising that in a years time I won’t be thinking about this at all, so it doesn’t really matter. I shouldn’t allow a number to make me feel so small.

Because in reality, that’s all it really is. It’s just a number.

Sometimes in education it can be so easy to let those numbers define you and change the way you see yourself. It makes you feel like you’re not good enough. I don’t think that should be the case.

Allow yourself to feel the disappointment, because if you’ve worked hard then it’s completely reasonable to feel that way.

My suggestion would simply be to not allow it to define you for too long. Don’t let it control your emotions or your time like I did. Don’t waste weeks overthinking and feeling down because unfortunately, disappointments are a part of life and it’s about how you learn from it.

What can you take from your situation to grow?

Find a way to find acceptance and move past those feelings of disappointment or failure.

You haven’t failed just because someone else has told you that you have.

This simply might be redirection or a learning experience.

Don’t be disappointed because you didn’t get the results that you aspired for or that job that you wanted, or anything else. Be proud that you were motivated enough to go for what you wanted in the first place.

Be proud of your work ethic and your resilience, because all of those qualities are far more important than whatever may have created disappointment.

Keep going, because in the long run you have to know what failure or disappointment feels like in order to know you’ve succeeded.

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If anything, it’s something I’m absolutely terrible at dealing with.

So why am I writing an article on this subject? Well, because I thought that someone out there may want to hear from somebody who knows exactly how they feel. Because trust me, I do.

The late night breakdowns where you can’t stop crying and overthinking about how nothing will ever be the same? Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

Just a few weeks ago I was sat in my university bedroom feeling absolutely hopeless. In my head, everything was changing and I had no control. I’m moving back in with my mum, starting long distance with my boyfriend, becoming unemployed, moving away from all of my friends and everything started spiralling!

Because feeling like you have no control can be really hard. And honestly, I applaud anybody who can deal with this level of change in their life without at least one mental breakdown or two.

But the reality is, it’s not as bad as your brain has tricked you into thinking.

For lots of people (myself included), it can be so easy to jump to conclusions and land on the most negative ones.

“I’m going to be so lonely”, “I’m going to lose all of my friends”, “I’m never going to find a job”… and the list goes on.

And if you’re currently going through this stage, which can effectively be categorised as grieving your time at university, then know you are completely valid. This is a normal reaction and you shouldn’t feel any less because of the way it’s making you feel.

You may not feel like you have everything together right now, but let’s be real, who does? And even if everything is changing, just know that that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Change can be good.

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Of course it’s terrifying when you don’t know what’s coming next or may not have a plan, but sometimes that can lead to the most beautiful outcomes. If you always knew what was coming, then life wouldn’t be anywhere near as exciting or wonderful as it can be.

This time last year I had no idea where I would be now. In fact, if you’d told me a year ago what I was doing now, I would’ve laughed in your face. But that just shows how great life can be. It throws things at you that you may never have believed would ever happen.

If nothing ever changed then think of all of the experiences you would’ve missed out on and all of the people you wouldn’t have met.

I remember having the same feelings of nervousness and anticipation before I started university. I had no idea what would be waiting for me and that was terrifying. But it’s ended up being one of the best experiences of my life and something I wouldn’t change for the world.

Now I look back, I wish I hadn’t have felt so scared for everything to change and hopefully in a years time I’ll feel exactly the same way.

So, if you’re like me and you’re struggling with change in any part of your life, just remember that you’ve got this.

It’s okay to feel scared or worried and it’s okay to grieve the life that you may be leaving behind. Allow yourself time to move past it and find acceptance of how your life is evolving.

Think of all of the ways that your life could be changing for the better. Once you move past the negative emotions of graduating, you’ll be able to see all of the exciting new opportunities in front of you.

You could get that dream job, you might travel to places you’ve always dreamed about, you could meet your new best friend or future partner. Maybe you’ll move into your dream apartment or adopt that dog that you’ve always wanted but never been allowed in student accommodation.

The opportunities are truly endless.

Yes, it’s intimidating to leave all you’ve known for the last few years but how incredible to think of all of the things you’re going to get to experience.

I keep reminding myself of how blessed I am to be this young and have this amount of freedom to do whatever I want to do. Just think of all of the people who wish they were in your position with your entire life ahead of you.

Dealing with change is a difficult thing to do, I know that more than most. But when you flip the negative feelings into excitement then you allow yourself to move into the next chapter of your life in a positive way.

Make that mood board, start that bucket list and focus on what will bring you the most amount of happiness.

Change is scary, but when you get out of your comfort zone and start to do more things that scare you, that’s when growth really happens.

I hope whoever is struggling with this right now can find a way to turn their fear into motivation.

The world really is your oyster and now you have the freedom to go out and enjoy it. Have new experiences, meet new people and go and make the most of what life has to offer.

Change is simply the catalyst.

Photo Credit: Adobe Stock

And frankly, that is terrifying.

Trust me, I know exactly what you’re going through. The past few weeks of my life have been filled with deadlines, coursework, late nights and then…nothing.

My university experience ended just like that. On a random Friday in June.

No preparation for the ‘real world’, no big send-off, just a simple: “See you at graduation!”

And much like me, you might be thinking ‘what the hell do I do now?’

After a lifetime of education, academics and knowing exactly what our next steps were going to be, now we’re left to fend for ourselves and figure it out.

Do you go travelling to ‘find yourself’ and see the world while you’re young? Or do you apply for entry-level roles and try to kickstart your career? What if now’s the time to take the risk and start that business you’ve always talked about? Maybe you should stay at your part-time job and earn some money while you figure it out.

The options are endless, and trust me, you are not the only one overthinking and stressing about what’s next.

God knows I’ve had my fair share of breakdowns regarding all of this recently.

But one thing I have learnt is that it’s okay! It’s completely normal to feel lost and out of your depth, and in reality, none of us really know what we’re doing.

Even that one girl on your course who’s managed to get the seemingly perfect grad job straight of uni. In reality, she’s got serious imposter syndrome and she wishes she could be travelling all summer with her friends instead of shopping for new ‘office attire’.

On the flip side, that guy you know who’s got plans to travel Asia for 8 months and has everything booked and ready. He’s worried that he’s going to run out of money and miss the boat with all of the grad job applications everyone else seems to be frantically filling out.

My point is, the grass isn’t always greener and you shouldn’t compare yourself with anybody else.

It sounds so obvious and cliche but sometimes it’s easy to fall into that trap. I know I do it, because you always want what you don’t have.

But someone else is probably looking at you and thinking the exact same thing.

There are pros and cons to everything and everybody is on their own path.

So step number one to navigating life after graduation…is to calm down.

Stop stressing yourself out and take a breath. Grab a coffee or buy yourself something nice, you don’t need to be scared of graduating. You can always move back to that city you love or plan a trip with your friends. Everything you know and love isn’t going to disappear, it’s just going to evolve a little bit.

That leads me to step number two, which is to be proud of yourself!

It’s not everyday that you earn a degree and no matter how well you believe you’ve done, if you’ve earned a degree of any kind then you should be more than proud.

Not everybody gets through those tough years at university and that alone is a huge accomplishment. Don’t let the fear of the unknown take away the pride and happiness you should be feeling now. The future will figure itself out, but you only get this time to celebrate once. Make the most of it!

And finally, step number three. Get excited!

As stressful and scary as it is to have everything changing, it can also be exhilarating.

You’re going from having little to no control of your life for years in education, and having your worth measured by a grading system, to being completely in charge of whatever comes next. Daunting? Yes. But exciting? Absolutely.

Think of all of the amazing opportunities that are waiting for you and the people that you’re going to meet who are going to love you.

As fun as university is, it would be boring if that’s all life had to offer.

For the first time in most graduates’ lives, you now have complete freedom.

As difficult as it is, stop searching for answers that will only come with time. Enjoy where you are right now because it’ll never be the same again and there are so many exciting things on the horizon for you.

Of course, it’s sad to say goodbye to something that is such a vital part of your life and holds such a special place in your heart, but now is the time for you to grow into the person that you want to be and experience things you’ve never had the ability to before.

As someone who is going through the exact same thing as you right now, I need to learn to slow down and stop chasing the future. I started this substack because I thought someone else might need to hear the same thing.

Sometimes the most beautiful things come from the journey.

So in answer to the question ‘What the hell do I do now?’, honestly, it’s completely up to you. Do whatever makes you happy and provides peace and excitement into your life, because the truth is, nobody knows what they’re doing and there is no one right answer.

As unhelpful as it is, everything that is meant for you will fall into place when it needs to. So stop worrying about things you can’t control and go and find what makes you happy.

*Photo Credit: Adobe Stock