This year’s trip felt particularly meaningful. Jared and his brother lost their grandmother right before we left, and getting outside, moving, and just being together turned out to be a welcome antidote to our grief.

After two weeks of biking through Denmark and Sweden, my mind and heart feel equal parts full and calm in the best way.

Where in the world: Currently writing this from beautiful Copenhagen, Denmark

Best thing I’ve eaten: Everything from Barr Restaurant. Jared and I came here in fall of 2025 and stumbled into the restaurant and now I can’t imagine coming to Copenhagen and not eating here. It’s heaven. I love how fresh the food is—it’s peak pea season now and even though it’s a simple vegetable, they taste just incredible. Jared had the rack of deer and it was one of the best meals we’ve ever had. I also love their waffles!

Vacationing by bike — worth it? I LOVE Backroads Bike Tours. We’ve traveled with them a few times now, and it’s such a fantastic way to see the world. When you’re biking to each stop, you get such a unique vantage point—weaving through back alleys and small community roads you’d never find by car, and snacking on things that are actually local instead of whatever is closest to the hotel. It’s less “seeing a country and more getting an honest slice of how people really live. Our guides are always so engaging and full of their own stories to share. 10/10, highly recommended.

Denmark vs Sweden: Both countries are so beautiful and distinct, even with borders that have overlapped for centuries. Denmark feels design-and-art-forward, with a way of life that you have to experience to understand—meals take 3 hours because it feels like Danes want you to sit, savor every bite, and enjoy the company you keep. A swim in the salty sea followed by a sauna is a MUST for the soul. Sweden has this deep love for the land and being stewards of it; you can camp basically anywhere. The food is similar, with fresh fish and local vegetables (potatoes and peas right now) being the staple. Everyone we’ve met has been so kind, warm, and genuinely friendly. I couldn’t pick a favorite, just an overall love for Scandinavian culture.

How I define hygge: Hygge (pronounced “hoo-gah”) is a Danish word—and really a whole way of life—built around creating coziness and warmth, and savoring the good things in life with good people. Sweden has its own version, “lagom,” which leans more toward balance and simplicity, but the spirit is the same: slow down and enjoy what’s in front of you. The cool thing about it is that you can apply it anywhere and it can look a little different to everyone. For me, hygge means don’t rush through life—linger over a meal, let the conversation run long, embrace whatever the day brings, even if it’s not what you planned.

Most hygge moment: I was riding my bike into winds so strong I was basically stationary, and then the rain started coming down hard. Instead of fighting it, I leaned in and sat with what it felt like to have rain on my face and wind in my hair, waves crashing on the shore as the soundtrack for my ride. I didn’t get angry or frustrated, because what is the point? It’s happening, and I can’t control it.

Coffee or tea: Matcha. I was surprised by how easy it’s been to order here, and it’s delicious.

On repeat on my headphones: I like to keep one earbud in while I ride. In addition to our July book club pick Long Island Girls, I listened to Ann Patchet’s new book Whistler. It turned out to be exactly the right book at the right time. Her novels are so simple, delicate, and beautifully written. The themes are around life and relationships, and this one follows a woman who unexpectedly reunites with her former stepfather. It’s about memory, the ways people can become family without blood ties, and how loss reshapes our relationships. Worth adding to your TBR.

Last thing that made me laugh: My husband. Always. Nobody makes me laugh harder—or embarrasses the family faster, given half a chance. The other day he put my sunglasses on upside down to mimic “alien eyes” and told us all he was going to converse with extraterrestrials. (Photo evidence below.)

Trip takeaway: Simplicity and connection are what actually matter. I’m coming home determined to parent slower and with more intention. We’re picking our son up from a golf camp near Barcelona for a few more days of exploring together. I want to sloooow down. All the extra crap we fill our lives with isn’t important. It’s about quality time more than anything else.

Share

To be honest, the lead-up to this trip was its own kind of chaos. I’d just gotten home from a shoot in Canada, my kids were running in all directions, and life was just really…lifing. I hadn’t been to Baja since my early 20s and the logistics and anticipation of going gave me a wee bit of anxiety. I was thrilled to have the opportunity, just overwhelmed about the timing and feeling a little frayed at the edges.

But as the plane descended into Mexico, my nerves seemed to mirror it, slowly easing and drifting down onto the runway with us. I got off the plane and took a drive on a straight highway lined with tumbleweeds. The mountains rising up on either side felt like a gentle hug.

Subscribe now

The car pulled up what looked like an unassuming concrete structure in the middle of the desert, but inside was an oasis. When I walked through the entrance and set down my baggage, someone handed me a glass of something cold and soothing before I’d even said my name. I felt my shoulders drop inches—like I’d set down some other kind of baggage too.

Paradero Todos Santos sits just outside of Cabo, built by local hands from adobe-style walls with local materials. The furniture isn’t shipped-in showroom stuff. A lot of it comes from artisans in the same region, practically the same soil. Nothing about the place says “we bought this to impress you.” It just invites you in to sit down, relax, and make yourself at home.

I didn’t need to be asked twice. I found a chair and exhaled. All I could hear was birds in the distance and some dust blowing up in the wind. For once, my mind wasn’t racing three steps ahead. I’d been so tightly coiled that simply sitting with nowhere to be started to unspool me, one breath at a time.

On the morning of the photo shoot, I was feeling a bit nervous, but, again, the desert had a way of putting my mind at ease. I woke up at sunrise and stared in awe at the view from my room—cactus as far as the eye could see, the sky washed in shimmering pink-and-gold light. By the time I made it to set, my nerves had dissipated.

We shot the first round at the half-moon pool, and the crew made the day a dream—hair, makeup, photography, all local, all women, all so clearly excellent at their craft. Between takes, I couldn’t help but think about being told, more than once, that I’d never model—too short, apparently. Ha, well, look at me now. 🤪 Standing in the beautiful Baja desert, doing just that for a brand I actually love? Kind of surreal, honestly.

Nisolo has been a wardrobe staple of mine for years. Their shoes are so comfortable and timeless, and it feels good knowing they actually care about how their shoes get made—not just how they sell. This opportunity to meet with the team and work with them in person just gave me one more reason to love them.

The food alone was worth the trip. The matcha was next level and I ended up eating so many açaí bowls that the kitchen named one after me—kind of a big deal for someone who usually skips breakfast. Lunch was its own event: a farm-to-table spot with food grown right there on the property, easily one of the most spectacular meals of the trip. We spent the afternoon shooting around the grounds and called it an early night.

Subscribe now

The next day, I got to participate in a temazcal ceremony—a traditional Mexican sweat lodge-type journey meant for healing and reflection. It takes place in a small hut built from local adobe, hot volcanic stones in the center, steam rising as water hits the rocks. An elder woman led a small group of us through it. I came out feeling clearer and more in touch with my intuition than I had in months. I’d been taking a class back in Austin—Deep Roots Connections, a reiki, animal, and nature communication practice—but the meditations I’d been working through suddenly deepened out there. It’s kinda hard to explain, but it was almost like realizing I’d been looking through a dirty windshield the whole time, and I finally rinsed it clean.

In the afternoon, we wandered the local markets, stalls of woven goods, handmade pottery, and produce piled up in a dozen shades. It felt good to just follow whatever caught my eye next, no plan and nowhere to rush off to, my huaraches getting softer and more broken-in with every path we explored.

At night, I swayed in the hammock strung across my room, watching the stars, listening to the sound of the birds and the wind blowing through the canyon. It made me realize how much static I usually live with—the steady hum of who needs what from me, the layers of bullshit and never-ending to-do lists—and how good it felt to turn the noise down. When it was time to head home, I didn’t feel like the same person who’d been white-knuckling a flight two days earlier.

Truth be told, I’m still figuring out how to bring that peace home with me. My kids had me back to “really lifing” within about four hours after landing—but I wouldn’t trade that chaos for anything. So I’m just doing what I can to sprinkle a little Baja calm into it. At least I have my huaraches for whatever adventure comes next. Thanks, Nisolo, for giving this “short” girl a shot.

P.S. Click here for a peek at some of my favorite pairs from the new collection.

Share

I always love chatting with romantic comedy writers, because in my experience they have wit and brilliance with a side of glass-half-full. They do something that’s incredibly challenging. They make us experience the full range of emotions and leave us filled with hope—and somehow make it look effortless.

Kate is fun, authentic, brilliant, and so humble. I loved our chat because she makes the craft look so easy, yet works relentlessly at it because she loves it. She had such wonderful, insightful things to say about romance as a genre, what it means to her, and even shared some of her own romance recommendations (a few of which I’m already adding to my TBR list). And I hope to carry this little nugget with me: that all the best things are worth the blood, sweat, and tears, even if it feels like a hard climb to get there.

Subscribe now

Share

My oldest is graduating 8th grade, which means I officially have a high schooler, a middle schooler, and an elementary school kiddo. The weight of these milestones and transitions—and the realization that time is doing exactly what everyone warned me it would—hits me in waves. I remember when they were all under five and thinking: this is so hard. And while this phase doesn’t require the physical demands it once did—when the basic task was simply to keep them alive, fed, sleeping, and knowing they’re loved—this particular moment requires a different kind of stamina, a new patience, and life lessons that keep me constantly on my toes.

Subscribe now

It’s a lot to hold. So here’s what’s been keeping me grounded lately:

Embracing the in-between: I’m officially somewhere in the middle. Not “young” young, not “old” old. Past the season of babies, not quite into the season of self-sufficient kids and young adults. And while I still feel like me, I also feel very different in the best way.

That people-pleasing gene—the one that spent decades wanting to make every situation nice and comfortable for everyone else? It’s beginning to slough off. And in its place I feel incredibly rooted, powerful, and more myself than I’ve ever been. My husband calls it “the irritables.” I call it freedom. (Though in fairness, his chewing really is super annoying.)

All this to say: my body is changing, and I am more aware than ever of what I need to stay balanced and healthy besides hormones—which honestly deserve their own post because I feel like a full-on science experiment. Here are some of the biggest game-changers for me lately:

Creatine—No, it’s not just for gym bros. It’s been a quiet revolution for my brain. My husband loves these from Create, which are also wonderful when you travel and don’t look like you might be smuggling another white powder 😂. However I also love this brand from Bare Performance.

A PEMF mat—I’ve been meditating on mine regularly and it’s dramatically shifting my sense of peace and presence.

Sleep—I’m aiming to be in bed by 9 (hard with a teenager’s social schedule and evening tuck-ins with my other two) and asleep by 10 for a full 8 hours. According to the NIH, we spend roughly a third of our lives asleep—about 26 years if you live to 78. I figure if I’m going to spend that much time doing something, I should do it well. I’ve been eyeing the 8 Sleep Pod and I think it’s time to finally pull the trigger as I have heard it pays off in spades

Inspiring voices: Jared broke his leg on set in late December, and it was one of the most difficult stretches we’ve been through as a family. He was in immense pain, it was the holiday season, we’d temporarily moved out of our home due to some repairs we needed to tend to, and on top of all of it, we were producing our first movie at Netflix. Being perfectionists, we wanted to make sure we created the best work we could. Challenging is an understatement.

During that time, Jared discovered Alan Watts. His teachings were, and continue to be, incredibly humbling, grounding, and inspirational for both of us. If you haven’t gone down that rabbit hole yet, consider this your sign.

Style that keeps up with me: I love my Apple Watch to clock the walking, errands, travel, and kid-shuffling, etc., throughout the day. Feels good to see how much ground I actually cover, even on days I never make it to the gym. In everyday wear I’m still reaching for comfy staples that still look put together, like chambray shirts, but this summer I’ve switched from denim to drawstring, breathable pants. Loving these from Leset. Amazon also has this great version as well.

New discoveries: I recently partnered with Natural Cycles and while I’ll be honest I wasn’t thrilled about the idea of wearing something to bed, understanding what’s actually happening with my cycle and recognizing symptoms I might not have even connected has been genuinely illuminating. It’s less about tracking and more about finally being fluent in my own body’s language.

Speaking my mind: Can we talk about the way women age versus the way men age… at least according to the world’s opinion of it? A man goes gray and suddenly he’s “distinguished.” A woman does the same and she’s old. A man slows down and he’s “settled.” A woman slows down and she’s “given up.” I’m so tired of the narrative that a woman becoming more herself—less performative, more grounded, less interested in shrinking—is somehow a loss. It’s not a loss. I think it’s an important arrival. And I, for one, am very happy to be here. Hysterical or not. 😂

The New Perimenopause by Dr. Marie Claire Haver has been genuinely eye-opening. In my mind I was so far away from any of this—and yet it made me realize that perimenopause is an overlapping phase that can begin as early as 35. Reading this book gave me a whole new appreciation for the female body, and for what my mother, and her mother before her, navigated in largely uncharted waters.

Subscribe now

Despite growing up in a very progressive household, during a more progressive time, the language around menopause was still deeply guarded. In my own experience, I spent so much time learning about my hormones as a young woman (fertility, menstrual cycles, all of it). But the next chapter? Almost nothing. It was treated as something private and rarely discussed. It also felt so far off that I convinced myself I didn’t need to think about it yet. Now, at 45, I can feel things subtly shifting. So subtly that my blood work looks completely normal—fertility and everything fine on paper—yet I don’t feel normal. There are spikes of agitation, rushes of warmth through my body, and periods that are slightly off. It can feel confusing and deeply unsettling, if you don’t understand what’s going on.

Perimenopause and menopause are something virtually every woman will go through—often well before she’s even halfway through her life. Having a guide to this transition that helps women recognize the signs early and take care of themselves now, so they can thrive in their later years, is invaluable and something every woman should have access to. I’m so grateful to Dr. Haver for writing this book and starting such an important conversation, and I was thrilled that Jared and I had the opportunity to sit down with her and talk through all of it. Perimenopause may be a woman’s experience, but the changes can impact intimate relationships too, which is why it felt so meaningful to share this conversation with him. I hope it gives y’all as much to think about as it gave us.

Was there anything in our conversation that surprised you, or that you wish you’d known sooner? I would love to hear your thoughts.

If you’re wanting to go deeper, menopause.org is a great resource for finding a healthcare provider trained in menopause care, and Dr. Haver’s site, thepauselife.com, has more information, free guides, and nutrition guidance.

P.S. I’ve already started making the hormone-supportive smoothies from the book, packed with chia seeds, hemp seeds, flaxseed, and frozen berries. Super simple, but my body feels the difference.

The New Perimenopause - Author Chat
Dr. Mary Claire Haver

Subscribe now

I feel like Nisolo gets that. I’ve been a fan of the brand for a while, and when they reached out to collaborate, it was a natural fit. Their shoes are stunningly beautiful. But what I love most is what they stand for. Nisolo is built on the belief that what you wear should feel good on your feet, on your conscience, and on the people who made them. Every pair is handcrafted by skilled artisans, and the leather is responsibly sourced. Their whole ethos is rooted in quality over quantity. The pieces are designed to last, not to be tossed at the end of the season.

That resonates with how I actually shop, especially now. With three kids and a full schedule, I need things I can feel good about reaching for again and again—whether it’s a meeting, camp pick ups, or sneaking in a slow morning coffee before the chaos starts.

Dressing should also be fun, especially in summer. Whether you’re in effortless mode, full vacation mode, or just trying to survive the Texas heat, your style should reflect your mood—and still make you feel pulled together. Nisolo’s new collection has been my go-to for exactly that this summer. I love the versatility, so I styled some of my favorite shoes into looks I’d actually wear. Which is your favorite?

LOOK 1:

1. Nisolo Catalina Whipstitch sandals

2. Zara Double Knit Double Jumper

3. Cos Pants

4. Vince Tote

5. Cuyana Bag Charm

6. Old Trend Boho Belt

7. Wolf & Badger Necklace

LOOK 2:

1. Carina Cross Strap Mules

2. Ink+Alloy beaded clutch

3. Anthropologie Necklace

4. Reformation Denim Jacket

5. Nili Lotan Chambray Shirt

6. Alex Mill Necklace

LOOK 3:

1. Nisolo Huaraache Sandal

2. Farm Rio Skirt

3. Cos V-Neck Red Tank

4. Staud Mushroom Bag

5. Etsy Lemonslice Necklace

6. Dorsey Necklace

7. Sezane Bracelet

8. Martha Calva Necklace

LOOK 4:

1. Nisolo Huarache T-Strap Sandals

2. Amazon flower pants

3. Vince Tank

4. Reformation Denim Jacket

5. Lizzie Fortunato necklace

6. Lele Sadoughi Blooming Eileen Parrot Hat

7. Maufrais braided hat band

LOOK 5:

1. Nisolo Stella Go-To Block Heel Sandals

2. Ciao Lucia Dress

3. Bauble Bar Necklace

4. Mango Crossbody

5. Zara hat

Cool place I visited: The Dordogne region in France. We had a convention in Ghent and another in Paris the following weekend, so Jared and I were looking for somewhere to wander in between. I’d been pulled toward the caves I saw in Werner Herzog’s Cave of Forgotten Dreams and we drove 9 hours to Sarlat thinking they were there… spoiler: they are not. The Lascaux caves are—and they did not disappoint. Honestly? Exploring the caves, walking the medieval city of Sarlat, perusing the farmer’s markets, and splunking into Grottes de Lecave caverns felt like a spiritual experience. I also came home with the most extraordinary saffron and two sticks of Parisian butter that may or may not have melted slightly in my suitcase. Worth it.

What I’m listening to I’ve been on an audiobook kick lately, thanks to all our travels. I just finished Theo of Golden by Allen Levi (what took me so long?!) and I am currently in the middle of Yesteryear. I also love Becca Tobin for her groundedness. She is the absolute best and I’ve been loving listening to her LadyGang podcast.

What’s nourishing me: I’m fully obsessed with Alison Roman’s Chicken pot pie recipe from her new cookbook Something from Nothing—thank you, Kelly! I’ve made it three times in the last month and I’m already craving it again. My kids convinced me to order from Doc B’s in Austin the other night and the burger and California kale salad were 10/10. Oh, and when I was working in Paris, I had the most amazing foodie experience at Ciasa Mia. It’s inspired by the Dolomites—one of my favorite places on Earth—and the space itself feels like a cozy dolomiti chalet. Come hungry and ready to fully indulge.

What we’re watching: Okay, I’m officially slow to the uptake on this one, but my 14-year-old just got me into The Walking Dead and…is that pilot wild or what?! Holy moly. Also, Shep—my middle kiddo—has been watching Season 1 of Supernatural with us. Dean Winchester tells Sam they have a “50% chance of dying,” and Shep goes, “If my coworker said that to me, I’d quit on the spot.” Haha. Not bad advice, honestly.

What I’m wearing. Jared, is 6’4” and change. I am, generously, 5’4.”, so I spent a lot of years (too many) in heels or wedges attempting to close the height gap. These days I’ve basically surrendered to flats, but I made an exception and splurged on these Chloe Estra kitten heel sandals and have zero regrets. I got mine in pink, but these brown ones are pretty killer too.

New discovery: This Summer Fridays Lip stain. I mean, why did it take humanity this long to invent a marker for lipstick??! GENIUS.

Current style inspo: Anything Sarah Pidgeon

Something that got me fired up: I came across this article from The Economist that really left me miffed. It dismissed “celebrity” book clubs as “irritating” that “involve a lot of gush—but not a lot of literary criticism.” Um. That’s because it’s a book club not a book review. I started our book club during the pandemic to share my love of reading and to inspire others to pick up a book alongside me. That feels more important than ever when you consider that the number of Americans who read for pleasure has fallen by 40% over the last 20 years, and Gen Z is the first generation in modern history that is scoring lower on standardized academic tests than the one before it. I’d argue the ‘gush’ is the point. Books make us feel things—they build critical thinking, empathy, and intellectual curiosity. In a world where fewer people are picking them up at all, I’ll take enthusiasm over criticism any day.

One of the things I love most about our book chats is when an author pulls back the curtain on their writing process and we get to see how some of our favorite characters and stories actually came to life. The answers are almost always surprising, and have influenced the way I think about my own creativity, too.

Subscribe now

This was especially true of a recent conversation with Jennifer Niven about her book Meet The Newmans. Set in 1964, it’s a story about a beloved TV family (think Leave it to Beaver) whose picture-perfect image is falling apart. Behind the white picket fence, there’s a controlling patriarch hiding financial ruin, a “perfect” housewife who hates to cook (and is on the brink of taking her life back), a closeted eldest son, a teen idol youngest son with secrets of his own, and an ambitious reporter asking all of the wrong—er, right—questions.

With a cast so sprawling and layered, I was curious how Jennifer kept all of those voices straight in her head. Her answer: playlists!

When she needed to write from Dinah’s point of view, she’d put on Doris Day and Nancy Sinatra and let the music carry her there. For Del, the playlist is full of Ozzie Nelson and Gene Autry. For Shep, it shifts to Led Zeppelin and The Animals. And for Guy, a little Elvis and Johnny Mathis.

It’s such a simple, but clever idea. And it got me thinking about all the other ways we can borrow from everyday life to spark creativity. Jennifer also shared insightful advice for pushing through creative ruts and moments of self doubt, as well as some great picks to add to your summer TBR. Hope you enjoyed our conversation—and the playlists—as much as I did!

Meet The Newman’s Playlists:

Dinah Playlist

Del Playlist

Guy Playlist

Shep Playlist

Meet the Newmans - Author Chat

Subscribe now

So, my new challenge is this: how can I embrace the chaos and still prioritize the things I love? I’ve realized that for me, it starts with paying attention. It’s easy to get stuck on autopilot when life is busy (survival mode!), but really pausing to notice how I’m spending my time, what’s filling me up and what isn’t, is surprisingly grounding. Writing has always been part of how I do that. There’s something about the act that helps me feel like I’m actually in my life instead of just running through it. That’s the idea behind Footnotes. Each week, I’ll be sharing what I’ve been up to and a few of my favorite things as a way to keep up a practice of self-reflection and intentional living. Hopefully, it’ll spark some ideas for you too, and I’d love to hear how you’re finding your own rhythms along the way. Take it or leave it, but either way, here goes…

Currently on repeat: My friend Mariah De La Mer got me into Gwairochs music and I have been listening to Gwairoch Radio on loop ever since. Odette’s most requested song is “Elimination of Fear.” I’ve also been getting acquainted with this year’s ACL line up. I’m loving Sofi Tukker’s “Purple Hat” or anything by Lorde, especially “Buzzcut Season” or “What Was That.”

What we’re watching: Varsity Blues. I recently re-watched it with my boys in remembrance of our friend James. He was so talented and just shines through every scene. I miss the joy he radiated. Boy was he talented. The New York Times published this great piece on where to stream some of his best performances—worth bookmarking.

What I keep reaching for: My AYR “the Lala” jeans. Between airports, sets, and everything in between, I’ve basically been living in this made-in-LA denim. They hold their shape, while still feeling comfy and soft.

Something I can’t stop telling people about: Tata Harper Superkind Softening cleanser is a staple for me. It gently removes makeup and excess oil without leaving my skin feeling stripped or dry. Another one I’ve been obsessing over lately is Om Organics. The cleanser is absolutely amazing. I discovered it at a store called Evi in Calgary while we were filming on location. They have the best natural beauty products to put on your body… all the way down to toothpaste.

What’s nourishing me: We’ve been traveling so much lately, which means a lot of food on the go. Thank God for The Well in ATX. They dish out the most soothing meals. Their matcha is my drink of choice, with some Fronks milk—I find the homemade stuff is the best kind of almond milk. Oh! And I also made these super unhealthy Rice Krispies, just to balance things out (even tho we are trying NOT to eat sugar in our house.. oops)

Something new I learned: Recently, my daughter made a sign listing all sorts of ways to uplift others. One phrase stuck out that I’d never heard before: the Platinum Rule. When I asked Odette what it meant, she explained it’s about treating others the way they want to be treated, not the way you want to be treated. I’ve always gone by the Golden Rule, but this one really struck a chord. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

What I’m grateful for: Friends and family who push me to grow and hold me accountable. The best friendships I have are the ones where there’s ultimately been some conflict (which doesn’t have to be a pejorative!). It’s usually in those tricky moments—where I have to be vulnerable and really listen, and they feel safe enough to speak honestly—that the real growth happens. It isn’t always comfortable, but they’re called “growing pains” for a reason, right?

Mantra of the week: If you can’t be the bridge, be the lighthouse. - Jefferson Fisher, author of The Next Conversation.

Currently wedged in between fellow travelers bobbing and weaving through the Austin Bergstrom airport terminal, trying to find some semblance of peace and quiet as I type this. I don’t get much alone time these days—funny that this now counts as alone time!

I’ve actually grown to love this airport, in spite of its crazy growth spurt. When we first moved here (back when everyone said “you should’ve seen it 10 years ago!”), it was sleepy and casual. You knew the gate agents by name, the walls weren’t entirely weatherproof, and crickets literally roamed the floors. There wasn’t much in the way of food or shopping, but it was sweet and easy to navigate.

Now the food spots could double as date night (proof), and I can reliably grab a small present for the kiddos at the Pokémon kiosk, which honestly feels like a small miracle when I’m coming home empty-handed after a long trip.

But I digress. What I’m really trying to say is that I’ve spent a lot of time in this airport over the past 15 years—I think I’ve flown out of here 6-7 times in the last 3 months alone. And while I genuinely don’t love the chaos of back-to-back travel, it has led me to discover a handful of things I now rely on every time I hit the road. They’ve made a real difference for me and I wanted to pass ‘em along to you. Hope it makes your next trip a little smoother!

The travel non-negotiables I actually swear by:

Away luggage. I know, I know—everyone and their pet has one, but it really is tried and true. It holds so much, survives being thrown around by baggage handlers, and the color options make it easy to spot when every other bag on the carousel looks the same.

Beis ‘The Weekender.’ My sister-in-law gifted me this in beige, and it’s currently perched on top of my roller. The structured bottom is great for shoes, and the individual compartments keep everything organized and easy to grab at security. It holds so much stuff that I’m always worried it’ll get flagged by the TSA for being too big, but it’s always smooth sailing.

Cotopaxi backpack. The eco-friendly materials satisfy my inner hippie—and, perhaps most importantly, the built-in compartments help my very disorganized brain keep track of everything.

Packing cubes. Still one of the only ways I can keep my life together while living out of a suitcase. One cube per category–tops, bottoms, workout gear—and packing almost feels easy…almost.

The sudoku packing method. I discovered this clothing hack on IG from @jeanwang and it has been SO helpful. You’ll fit way more than you ever thought possible.

Medicube Pro Wand. A few years ago you would’ve NEVER caught me doing any sort of beauty routine mid-flight. But these days? I feel like anything goes. And who doesn’t want to feel a little more refreshed upon arrival?!

Nisolo Go-to Lug Chelsea Boots. These boots are EPIC. I wear them with everything—pants at the airport, a cute dress for date night—and they’re comfy enough for sightseeing.

Bala weights. Aspirational? Sometimes. But when I use them, I’m always so glad they made the cut. Just be warned you might get an extra pat down. It’s worth it!

What are your travel must-haves?

Sounds ironic coming from someone with a public-facing career who is now posting intimate thoughts on a Substack newsletter. And yet—here we are. Growth or mild emotional exhibitionism, depending on the day.

It has taken me years (YEARS!) to feel even remotely safe sharing myself. And if I’m being honest, I didn’t pursue acting to share myself at all. I did it because it felt safer not to. It was easier to step into someone else’s life, someone else’s emotions. I could channel whatever I was feeling into a character and call it “a choice,” instead of owning the anxiety or stress that was actually mine. It was an expression…with plausible deniability.

At this point, I’ve done enough therapy to understand where a lot of this comes from. And while that origin story is mine to hold, I suspect that this instinct to hide in plain sight is more common than most of us like to admit. So it seems worth talking about.

Subscribe now

For me, it goes back to middle school. I had my first “real” acting class in 7th grade in San Francisco. I went to school with Marla Sokoloff, who was already starting to “make it” in Hollywood. She seemed so comfortable in her own skin—so effortless, expressive, and alive in a way I couldn’t quite access yet. I loved acting then (as I do now), but was fascinated to watch one of my peers harness that love. I wanted to understand it and learn how to embody it too.

I signed up for an on-camera class in the city, but when my time came, I completely froze. I was so nervous I couldn’t even slate, which, for anyone unfamiliar, is the simple introduction you give at the start of an audition tape. It’s literally just saying your name. The one thing you absolutely should not get wrong. And yet, there I was, staring into the camera like a baby deer, silently wondering if I had ever had a name at all.

Some people might have taken that as a sign to quit. Naturally, I took it as a sign to spiral internally…and, eventually, try again. But I understood, maybe for the first time, that showing up as myself was terrifying. A character though? That I could do. A character had a script and a reason to feel what she felt. I just had to hit my marks.

After years of community theater, a few commercials (including a PSA on abstinence—yes, you’re welcome), and the character-building experience of attending three middle schools and three high schools, I gathered enough confidence to apply to NYU Tisch School of the Arts.

To my genuine shock, I got in.

Even now, I don’t say that lightly. The leap from a 12-year-old who couldn’t say her own name on camera to an 18-year-old moving across the country to pursue a career as a working actor felt enormous—and slightly delusional. When I graduated and booked the lead on Wildfire, the first original scripted drama to air on ABC Family, it felt equally surreal. Am I really doing this?

Being a working actress came with everything I’d hoped for: opportunity, excitement, validation. And also… a very loud crash course in criticism. I remember reading some of my first reviews on Supernatural:

“The first Ruby was so much better.”

“Why do you speak with a lisp? You sound so stupid.”

“Go get a refund on your acting degree.”

I wish I could say I brushed it off with grace and perspective. I did not. It got in, and it sank deep. It made me question everything—my talent, my instincts, my worth. I felt like an imposter wearing someone else’s life, just waiting to be found out. And the hardest part is that I believed it.

Time went by, and life rearranged itself. Roles took a backseat as marriage, kids, and family life shifted something fundamental in me. My priorities changed. My energy changed. Motherhood allowed me to experience a depth of love I didn’t even know was possible. It was expansive and grounding all at once. And, if I’m honest, it also gave me a kind of relief from the spotlight.

I am skipping a lot in between—therapy, introspection, chats with friends (and myself), meditation, workshops, and dabbling in some plant medicine (that story is for another time). But somewhere in all of that, I started feeling the creative itch again, a pull to put myself out there again. It started in small ways. Blogging turned into collaborations and conversations I never expected to be included in. Book club picks became live author chats with brilliant writers I deeply admired. Except this time I was just showing up as myself, which came with a very different kind of vulnerability. There was no character to hide behind. Just me, sitting across from people I respected, trying to form coherent thoughts while also thinking: am I articulate enough? Smart enough? Interesting enough?

And then came the fan conventions. Walking into rooms full of people who know my work—with opinions, memories, and expectations. Same questions, just a slightly different setting: will they actually want to see me? What if I disappoint them?

At times it has felt like I’m standing back in that 7th grade classroom. Do I remember my own name? Do I have anything worth saying? Am I about to make a complete fool of myself? (Strong yes to at least one of those, depending on the day.)

But here’s what I’ve started to realize: I’ve never actually had a problem knowing where I want to be. It’s the getting there that can unbuckle me. I was always trying to move forward while constantly wondering if I actually belonged there in the first place, like being in a perfectly good car and repeatedly putting in the wrong fuel. No matter how much I wanted to go, I kept stalling out, convinced I was going to blow the engine.

Until, slowly, and imperfectly, I started to loosen my grip. One post, one book conversation, one fan convention. One moment of choosing connection over self-protection. Step by step.

What if it didn’t have to be perfect? What if it could just be… play? (Thanks to my husband for this reminder.) What if I could show up without pre-editing every thought, every word, every version of myself into something more acceptable? And when I let myself go there, even just a little, the fear didn’t disappear, but it stopped driving me. And somehow, something unexpected happened.

I connected with friends, with people I never expected to meet, with authors I admired and entrepreneurs who were figuring it out just like me. I had conversations I never imagined I’d be part of and from there, slowly, other doors opened too—more fan conventions, more live conversations, and more rooms where I couldn’t hide behind a character or a script. Just me, showing up, meeting people, getting to know them, letting it be a real exchange instead of a performance.

That may sound natural to some people—or assumed of someone who has built a career in acting—but it hasn’t come natural to me. And that self-critical voice hasn’t gone away. Sometimes, I finish an interview and immediately replay the entire thing in my head like a post-game analysis I never asked for—just ask Charlie! It can be relentless and unforgiving, but I keep showing up.

I still think about the 7th grade version of me sometimes, the one staring blankly at the camera, too scared to say her own name. I used to think the problem was that I couldn’t find my own voice. Turns out, I just kept assuming it had to sound different than mine.

I’ve been lurking on Substack for a while. Watching, reading, thinking...imagining “one day.” I’ve wanted to spend more time putting pen to paper (fine, fingers to keys, but you know what I mean). Some say it’s good for cognitive function (don’t quote me on the science, but it feels true!) I just love using that tactile form. And yet, I keep stopping myself.

Admittedly, I have a bit of a perfectionism problem and probably a little imposter syndrome mixed in, too. Which is funny, because internally? I feel like I’m busting at the seams with ideas, thoughts, half-formed essays, like sparks (or crop dusts, ha) of creativity. That nagging creative voice that won’t leave me alone is usually how I know I should have started something sooner.

I’ve attempted this so many times. Documents titled Substack Smut or Draft TBD, abandoned almost as quickly as they were opened. Not because I didn’t have anything to say, but because I had a lot to say…and it can feel scary to put yourself out there. It’s a polarizing time right now. Intense. Binary. Black and white. Blue and red. Holistic vs western. Hero vs villain. Barbie vs Oppenheimer. You get my drift.

(Is anyone else’s nervous system feeling fried right now?!)

It can feel like there’s no room for gray anymore, but I don’t want to live in the extremes. We are all made of multitudes, contradictions, and all the colors of the rainbow. I’ve always been drawn to the nuances or the asterisks that change the way you read a page—or see the world. And more and more I find myself wanting to live in the in-between.

That’s what Living in the Asterisk is all about—the small footnote at the bottom of the page, the one that always reminds you that there is more to every story, more to every person.

That’s the space I want to live in and share. So that’s what you’ll find here—all of it. Life stuff, parenting moments, fashion finds, interior design rabbit holes, little cups of woo woo, beauty picks, hikes I love, workouts that keep me grounded, and all the health things I’m genuinely figuring out as I navigate the real gifts that 45 brings.

Books and reading are a part of it too. Over the last six years (wild!), our book club has grown into something so much bigger than I ever imagined. I’d love for this to be a place where we can dive deeper into what we’re reading together, keep the conversations going, and maybe even sneak a peek behind the curtain of new projects (hello, The Bodyguard on Netflix! Pinch me please!).

This isn’t meant to be some picture-perfect, glossy magazine. Expect off-the-cuff, sometimes messy, sometimes sparkling, but always honest musings. It might feel like a lot, but that’s life. At least mine! And it all comes with an asterisk, starred right there at the top, because that’s where I live. I hope you’ll hang around and live in the asterisk with me.