I love books, not simply because I write them, but because they remind me of something we often forget about life: no author expects the first draft to be perfect. Authors revise, delete, rewrite, and move entire chapters. They remove characters who no longer serve the story, strengthen the plot, and sometimes completely change the ending.

Yet, when it comes to our own lives, we often behave as though every decision we make is permanent. It isn’t. You can rewrite your story. Yes, you can!

Rewriting your story does not mean pretending the painful chapters never happened. Those chapters matter. They shaped you, taught you, and revealed strengths you may not have known you possessed. However, those chapters do not have to define how your story ends.

For me, redesigning my life has become a daily practice, not an annual goal or a New Year’s resolution, but a daily decision. Every morning, I ask myself, “Who do I want to become today? What habits belong in this chapter? What beliefs need editing? What fears need deleting? What dreams deserve another paragraph?

Some days, the answers come easily. Other days, they require tears, silence, prayer, and uncomfortable honesty. Growth has never been about becoming someone else. It is about becoming more of the person you were created to be.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned is that the mirror does not lie. It does not care about titles, degrees, followers, income, or awards. The mirror simply reflects the person who shows up each day. If we do not like what we see, we have two choices: we can continue complaining, or we can begin rewriting.

So what are you doing?

Every chapter we write becomes the foundation for the next one. Small choices become habits. Habits become identity. Identity becomes legacy. That is why I believe we are all authors, whether we have published a book or not. Every conversation, decision, boundary, act of courage, moment of forgiveness, and leap of faith becomes another sentence written into the story of our lives.

The beautiful part is that you do not have to wait until Monday, next month, or next year to begin again. You can start revising today. Maybe today’s revision is saying no without feeling guilty. Maybe it is asking for help. Perhaps it is applying for the opportunity you have been avoiding or finally believing you are worthy of the life you have imagined.

Whatever your next revision may be, pick up the pen. Your future is waiting for the next page.

If you would like to explore what it means to intentionally design your career, purpose, and the life you are building, I invite you to look into my Living the I/O Life Writing Prompts:

https://marlajalbertie.com/design-a-writing-career-that-fits/

Life is much like writing. The magic is not found in never making mistakes. The magic is found in having the courage to rewrite the next page.

Keep redesigning

Subscribe now

Dr. A

Enjoy!

August Reset Worksheet

65.9KB ∙ PDF file

Download

Download

Read more

There is one meeting I never cancel: the one I have with myself. Every morning, I have to look in the mirror and ask some difficult questions. Am I living the life I say I want? Am I making decisions based on purpose or fear? Am I creating the future I keep talking about, or am I simply reacting to yesterday? Whose life am I living?

Those questions are uncomfortable, and there are days when I don’t like the answers. For years, I believed redesigning my life meant changing jobs, earning another degree, writing another book, launching another business, or chasing another opportunity. Those things matter, but I’ve learned something much deeper: the greatest redesign happens within.

It happens when we become honest enough to admit that some of the obstacles in our lives aren’t other people. Sometimes, they’re us, our habits, our excuses, our fears, and our unwillingness to let go of an old version of ourselves that no longer fits. That realization isn’t meant to produce shame. It’s meant to produce freedom.

After forty-nine years of living, I can honestly say I am creating the life I have always wanted. It doesn’t look like everyone else’s, and it won’t make sense to everyone. Some people may even question the decisions I’ve made. That’s okay. This is my story, and only I get to write it.

Every day, I am editing something. Sometimes it’s my schedule. Sometimes it’s my mindset. Sometimes it’s my relationships. Sometimes it’s simply the way I speak to myself. Life isn’t written in one draft; it is revised every single day. Read that again!

As an Industrial-Organizational Psychologist, I study autonomy in the workplace—the ability to make meaningful choices about how we work and live. But autonomy doesn’t begin at work. It begins in the mirror.

Before we can redesign organizations, careers, or relationships, we have to redesign ourselves. That process requires courage, honesty, and the willingness to stop blaming circumstances for chapters we have the power to rewrite.

No one else can hold the pen for your life. People may influence your story. They may encourage you, challenge you, or even leave unexpected chapters behind. But they are not the author. You are.

So tomorrow morning, when you look in the mirror, don’t just see your reflection. See your editor. Ask yourself one simple question: What is one sentence I can rewrite today?

Sometimes a single sentence changes an entire chapter, and sometimes one rewritten chapter changes an entire life.

If you’re ready to intentionally design a life and a career that aligns with your purpose instead of someone else’s expectations, I’d love to walk that journey with you.

Subscribe now

Because the best stories are not the ones that happen to us. They’re the ones we choose to write.

Dr. A

Courtesy of Hope 4 Veterans

Forty-nine years of life have taught me that living is not about getting everything right. It is about learning, unlearning, falling, rising, grieving, laughing, loving, releasing, rebuilding, and having the courage to begin again.

So, in honor of my 49th birthday, here are 49 lessons life has taught me:

1. God’s timing will rarely match mine, but I’ve learned to trust it anyway.

2. Life can change in a single moment, so love people while they are here.

3. Grief and joy can live in the same heart.

4. Starting over is not failure.

5. Sometimes rebuilding is the very thing that reveals who you really are.

6. Everybody who starts the journey with you will not finish it with you.

7. Some relationships are for a season, and that is okay.

8. You can love people deeply and still limit their access to your life.

9. Boundaries are necessary, even when people do not understand them.

10. “No” is a complete sentence.

11. Peace is worth protecting.

12. You do not have to explain every decision you make.

13. Silence can be a strategy.

14. Not everybody deserves to know your next move.

15. Stop expecting people to love the way you love.

16. Expectations can create unnecessary disappointment.

17. Forgiveness does not always require reconciliation.

18. Letting go does not mean you never cared.

19. Sometimes you have to release the relationship while keeping the love.

20. People will surprise you, some by leaving and others by showing up when you least expect it.

21. Family is not always defined by blood.

22. Your hardest chapters can reveal your greatest strength.

23. You are allowed to cry and still call yourself strong.

24. You are allowed to rest without feeling guilty.

25. Being busy and being productive are not the same thing.

26. Success gets to look different for each of us.

27. You do not have to choose only one dream.

28. Being multi-passionate is not a weakness.

29. Your gifts may not fit neatly into one box—and they do not have to.

30. Education can change your circumstances, but wisdom changes how you live.

31. Leadership will always be about people.

32. Business will always require you to understand the numbers.

33. You can serve others without sacrificing yourself.

34. Stop giving everything away for free just because you have a good heart.

35. Know the value of what you bring to the table.

36. You do not have to prove yourself to people committed to misunderstanding you.

37. Some battles are won by walking away.

38. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is mind your business and keep moving.

39. Healing is not linear.

40. You can miss who you used to be and still love who you are becoming.

41. You are allowed to create a life that makes sense to you, even if nobody else understands it.

42. Read the books. Take the advice. Learn the lessons. Then create your own rules.

43. Travel when you can. Laugh loudly. Go to the concert. Take the cruise. Make the memories.

44. Tell people you love them.

45. Take the pictures.

46. Dream again, especially after life gives you every reason not to.

47. It is never too late to reinvent yourself.

48. As long as you are breathing, your story is still being written.

49. And perhaps my greatest lesson of all: I am still here.

At 49, I am no longer trying to become who the world thinks I should be. I am embracing who I am: a woman with many gifts, many dreams, many chapters, and yes, a few scars.

I have walked through some fires I never thought I would survive. I have said goodbye to people I thought would be here forever. I have rebuilt parts of myself more times than I can count. And somehow, through it all, I still believe in love. I still believe in purpose. I still believe in laughter. I still believe in God. And most importantly, I still believe there is more life for me to live.

So here’s to 49.

I’m not slowing down because the calendar says I should. I’m not shrinking to make anyone comfortable. I’m going to love deeply, protect my peace fiercely, dream outrageously, serve purposefully, and live this beautiful, complicated life on my own terms.

Forty-nine years down.

And baby, I’m still becoming.

Happy Birthday to me. ❤️

Dr. A

I am SO honored you are sticking with me. Life has been doing what it does, but you know I GOT YOU. Here are your freebies that others pay for!

I pray you enjoy them

Dr. A

June Freebie

July Freebie

Read more

People often ask me what it means to redesign your life. This is what I preach and teach; it is what I am known for. Why? Because I am living it.

They expect me to talk about changing careers, starting a business, earning another degree, or reinventing myself after a setback. Those things certainly can be part of the journey, but lately I’ve realized that real transformation begins much earlier.

It begins with boundaries. For years, I believed saying yes made me dependable. It made me a servant leader, a helper, someone people could count on. While there’s truth in that, there’s another side I didn’t want to admit.

Every yes left a little less room for me.

I wasn’t intentionally neglecting myself. I simply believed everyone else’s needs, deadlines, and dreams deserved space on my calendar as well as mine; just somehow, others took more precedence.

Eventually, I found myself exhausted, not because I didn’t love the work, but because I had forgotten that my own well-being deserved the same attention I gave everyone else. Learning to say no has been one of the hardest skills I’ve ever practiced. It feels uncomfortable. It sometimes disappoints people. Occasionally it even disappoints me, even after I said yes, and I had to change due to scheduling or simply because I did not want to do the activity.

But every time I say no to something that isn’t aligned with my purpose, I’m saying yes to something that is. Yes to better health, deeper relationships, creativity, quiet mornings with my protein shake and a journal, walks without checking my phone, and becoming the woman I want to be instead of the woman everyone expects me to be.

Redesigning your life doesn’t always require a dramatic change. Sometimes it simply requires the courage to protect what matters most.

I’m still learning.

I’ll probably still overcommit from time to time because old habits don’t disappear overnight. But I no longer see saying no as closing a door. I see it as opening one.

As I continue my countdown to 50, that’s the life I’m choosing to build, not one filled with endless accomplishments but one filled with intention, peace, and enough margin to truly enjoy the blessings that surround me.

After all, a life well lived isn’t measured by how busy we were. It’s measured by how present we allowed ourselves to be.

Dr. A

Subscribe now

For most of my life, I have been rewarded for being productive. Good grades. Promotions. Degrees. Certifications. Businesses. Books. Speaking engagements. Every accomplishment reinforced the idea that if I just kept going, I would eventually arrive at some place where I could finally rest.

The problem is that the place never came.

There was always another goal to chase, another opportunity to accept, another person who needed my help. Somewhere along the way, I stopped asking myself whether I wanted to do something and started asking whether I could do it. The answer was almost always yes. My saying to myself was, “It will get done.”

What I’ve learned over the past year is that capability can become a trap.

Just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should.

After losing my son and daughter-in-law, I unknowingly turned productivity into my grief counselor. If I stayed busy enough, maybe I wouldn’t have to feel the weight of what had happened. Every project gave me something to focus on besides the silence that grief leaves behind.

The work wasn’t meaningless. It was work I loved. But it was also keeping me from slowing down long enough to ask myself what I actually needed. Healing doesn’t always happen while we’re moving. Sometimes it happens when we’re willing to be still. And, being still was something I was petrified of doing. Sitting quietly with my thoughts has felt far more difficult than earning another certification or launching another project. Those things gave me something measurable. As I am learning, healing doesn’t work that way.

As I approach my fiftieth birthday in 2027, I’m redefining what success looks like. Success is no longer about how much I can accomplish in a day. It’s about whether I made time to breathe, laugh, pray, call someone I love, or simply enjoy the life I’ve worked so hard to build. It is having “Nothing” day planned on my calendar. It is having more than one “me” day a month. It's doing what I am selling, redesigning my life.

Maybe productivity isn’t the highest goal after all.

Maybe peace is. And perhaps the most productive thing we can do once in a while is absolutely nothing.

Dr. A

Subscribe now

Picture credit: This is a success for me, taking my grandson on his second cruise

Have you ever achieved something you once prayed for, worked for, and dreamed about—only to find yourself wondering, “Why doesn’t this feel the way I thought it would?”

It is a question many high achievers quietly carry, so ask me how I know.

We chase the degree.

Then we earn it.

We pursue the promotion.

Then we get it.

We build the business.

Then we realize there is still more work to do, and I mean A LOT of work to do.

We reach a milestone.

Then we immediately move the finish line.

I know all of these feelings. As I reflect on my journey, from serving in the military to becoming an Industrial-Organizational Psychologist, to teaching, writing books, leading a nonprofit, and building businesses, I sometimes find myself focusing on what is next before fully appreciating what is now.

Many of us have been conditioned to believe that happiness lives on the other side of achievement.

“If I can just get there...”

But where exactly is there? Do you know? Can you please tell me?

In I/O Psychology, we often study motivation and goal pursuit. Research consistently shows that while goals can increase performance and focus, they do not guarantee lasting satisfaction. Why, we may ask? Because achievement and fulfillment are not the same thing.

Achievement is reaching the destination. Fulfillment is appreciating the journey, and I am only now realizing this, almost 49 years into life. Some of us become so focused on climbing the mountain that we forget to look around once we reach the top. Others struggle because they are carrying grief, stress, caregiving responsibilities, financial concerns, or life transitions alongside their accomplishments.

What I have discovered is that the result is a strange emotional contradiction.

You can be grateful and exhausted. Successful and grieving. Accomplished and uncertain.
Hopeful and healing. All of these realities can coexist; they do with me for sure.

This season of life has taught me that fulfillment often comes from moments rather than milestones.

A conversation with my grandson.

A student who finally understands a difficult concept.

A veteran who feels seen.

A reader or student who says, “Your words helped me.”

A friend who reminds me I am not walking this journey alone.

Those moments may never appear on a résumé, but they often matter most.

As we move through the year, I want to encourage you to pause before chasing the next goal, as I talk to myself.

Take inventory. Look at how far you have come. Celebrate what you have already built. Acknowledge the obstacles you have overcome. Give yourself permission to appreciate the life you are creating, not just the life you are pursuing.

Because sometimes success does not feel like success simply because we are moving too fast to notice it.

Success is what we define it to be.

Reflection Question

What accomplishment have you minimized by immediately shifting your focus to the next goal?

Living the I/O Life Action Step

Write down five things you have accomplished during the past year that your younger self would be proud of.

Then take a moment to celebrate them.

You have earned that pause.

Dr. A

Live your I/O life.

There comes a point in life when many of us stop trying new things. Personally, I love to try new things, well… not all new foods, however, that is another newsletter. But somewhere along the way, we become comfortable with being competent. We know what we do well and how to move through our days with confidence because we have spent years developing our expertise.

Does this sound like you?

Recently, I was asked to officiate my first wedding.

If you know me, you know I am comfortable speaking in front of audiences. I teach, coach, facilitate workshops, and present at conferences. Standing in front of people is not new to me. Yet standing in front of two people who were about to make a lifelong commitment felt entirely different. I found myself questioning whether I was the right person for the job. What if I forgot something? What if I weren’t good at it? What if I disappointed the couple?

Sound familiar?

Many of us have the same thoughts whenever we want to try something new.

In Industrial-Organizational Psychology, we often discuss self-efficacy—the belief that we can successfully perform a task. Self-efficacy is often built through experience, yet experience can only be gained by trying. I used to tell my son that the only way to get better at something is to do “the something.”

In other words, confidence is usually the result of action, not the prerequisite. Far too often, we wait until we feel ready before taking a leap. The truth is that growth rarely sends an invitation announcing its arrival. It often shows up disguised as discomfort.

Here is how it has arrived for me. A new opportunity to teach at the collegiate level. A new responsibility: caring for my grandson full-time. A new challenge of being a caretaker for my dad and grandson. A new season to believe in the power of love.

So here is my question to you:

“Are you willing to be a beginner again?”

This summer, I want to challenge you to consider what new experience may be waiting for you.

Maybe it is starting a business.
Maybe it is learning a skill.
Maybe it is applying for a position you do not feel fully qualified for.
Maybe it is writing the book, taking the class, launching the podcast, or simply saying yes to an opportunity that scares you.

By the way, the wedding ceremony went beautifully. The couple smiled, said “I do,” and the families celebrated. As I reflected afterward, I realized something important: Had I said no because I was uncomfortable, I would have missed an experience that brought me joy.

How many opportunities do we miss because we are afraid of being inexperienced?

As we move into summer, I encourage you to embrace the possibilities that come with being new.

You may discover a talent you never knew you had. You may find a passion waiting to be uncovered. You may even discover a new version of yourself.

After all, every expert was once a beginner.

Reflection Question

What is one thing you have been afraid to try simply because you might not be good at it yet?

Living the I/O Life Action Step

Choose one new experience this summer and commit to taking the first step within the next seven days.

You never know where one courageous “yes” may lead.

Dr. A

Living your best I/O Life

Subscribe now

*Photo by ListWire

152 years.

Let that number marinate for a second.

For 152 years, the Kentucky Derby winner’s circle has never included a female trainer. Not because women lacked intelligence or discipline, nor because they lacked the ability to lead under pressure. But because some systems were built with invisible gates around them, yep, I said it.

And yet… despite the barriers, the side-eyes, and the constant pressure to prove ourselves twice as hard, we women keep showing up anyway.

However, this year, history changed.

A woman finally stood in that winner’s circle, and honestly, I didn’t see a horse racing trainer when I looked at that moment. I saw workplaces, boardrooms, leadership, and women carrying experience, brilliance, emotional labor, and vision while still being underestimated in the rooms they helped build. Look, we all know that talent has never been the issue; opportunity and access have.

As an I/O psychologist, I find that moments like this remind me that representation matters because systems quietly teach people what is “possible” long before anyone says a word out loud. And when someone finally breaks through? It does more than make history. It expands imagination. It tells the next little girl: “There is space for you here, too.”

Being the first often means carrying the pressure of being watched more closely, criticized more quickly, and doubted more loudly. Cherie DeVaux still showed up and won! Perhaps that is the real lesson here.

Sometimes progress does not arrive with fireworks; it walks slowly through generations of persistence until, one day, the world finally catches up with people who were already ahead of the progress.

Dr. A’s I/O Psychology Reflection:
Organizations love to talk about talent pipelines, leadership development, and innovation. But many systems are still overlooking capable people simply because they do not fit the traditional “image of leadership.” You know the executive presence. This is not a talent problem. This is a systems problem. Did Mrs. DeVaux have the look? Let that sink in.

Reflection Prompt:
Where in life, leadership, or business are systems still catching up to people who have already proven they belong? Are you one of those people?

Dr. A

Subscribe now

One of the gifts I’m giving my paid subscribers is something deeply personal and intentional: the I Deserve List Book.

I created it because I’ve never liked the phrase “kick the bucket list.” It always felt heavy, final, and rooted in endings.

This is different.

The I Deserve List Workbook is about life while we are still fu…

Read more

I didn’t go to the Society for Industrial and Organizational Psychology (SIOP) conference in NOLA to sit in sessions and take notes. I went to engage, contribute, and network. And what I experienced reminded me of something simple but powerful:

I/O psychology is not just something we study. It is something we carry into every room we enter. As the name of this Substack suggests, everyone was Living the I/O Life. Let me tell you all about the three awesome sessions I was a part of:

Session 1: The Veteran Transition Panel: Where Identity Meets Reality

One of the most meaningful spaces I stepped into was a panel centered on veterans transitioning from the military into the workforce. The truth about that transition is not just about resumes or translating skills; it’s about identity.

We went from structure… to ambiguity. From rank… to relevance. From mission… to “What now and confusion?”

As I sat on that panel, I wasn’t speaking from theory. I was speaking from lived experience, and it was wonderful.

I/O Insight

This is where role identity and job crafting collide. Veterans are not starting over. We are redefining how our value is understood within a new system; therefore, if organizations don’t understand this, they miss out on the discipline, leadership, and resilience that cannot be taught.

Session 2: Resume Review: Fifteen People, One Truth

Then came the resume review session. Mind-blowing!

About 15 people. Different backgrounds. Different stories.

But one common question I answered for them:

What do employers actually want?”

And I gave them the truth. Not the polished version.

I shared with them that employers are not just looking for experience.

They are looking for:

• Clarity

• Impact

• Transferable value

• Can you get along with people?

They want to know:

Can you solve a problem?

Because a resume isn’t a life story. It’s a business case.

I/O Insight

This is straight out of person–job fit. It’s not about everything you’ve done.

It’s about alignment between:

• What you bring

• What the role demands

Many people miss that because it isn't communicated directly.

Session 3: The K–12 Panel: Planting I/O Before the Workplace

And then… one of my favorite conversations. A panel discussing I/O psychology in the K–12 space. We keep trying to “fix” workplace issues at the workplace level. But what if we started earlier?

What if students understood the following?

• Team dynamics

• Motivation

• Leadership

• Communication

Before they ever clocked in for their first job?

I/O Insight

This is workforce development at the foundation level. Not intervention but preparation. It aligns directly with what I’ve built through IO For Teens Inc. We don’t wait for dysfunction. We design for effectiveness early.

The Part Nobody Can Measure: Connection

In between all of that?

I learned. I laughed. I connected with some truly wonderful people. Conversations that weren’t forced. Moments that weren’t transactional. Energy that reminded me why I chose this field in the first place. Because beyond the research… Beyond the models… This field is about people. Period.

Reflection Prompt

Where are you holding knowledge… but not fully applying it?

Action Step

Take one thing you know from your field and apply it this week in a real, visible way.

In closing

I didn’t leave SIOP only inspired. I left, affirmed in all areas of my work. As I/O psychologists and practitioners, our responsibility is not only to study the work but also to change how people experience it.

Dr. A

We use the word burnout ” like it’s final, as if it is a buzzword, the popular thing to say.

“I’m burnt out.”
”I’m done.”
”I just need a break.”

But burnout is not the end of the story. It’s a signal that something in your life is out of alignment.

• You’ve been saying yes too long

• You’ve been overextending without support

• You’ve been operating in environments that take more than they give

And you’ve learned to normalize it. Am I right or…

From Dr. A’s I/O Psychology lens…

People don’t burn out just because they work hard. They burn out when what is expected ≠ is not supported, and at the center of that mismatch?

Autonomy.

Because when people have autonomy, they adjust their work. When they don’t… Their work adjusts them. Read that again.

So here’s the reframe:

What if burnout isn’t telling you to quit? What if it’s telling you to redesign?

Ask yourself:

• What am I doing out of obligation instead of intention?

• Where do I feel the most resistance?

• What would alignment look like if I stopped trying to prove something?

As we close, think about this…
Alignment is not a luxury. It is the foundation. And until you build from it… Everything will feel heavier than it should.

If you’re in a season of reevaluation, you’re not lost. You’re being redirected.

If you feel led, upgrade to paid for more insight and wisdom.

Thank you!

Dr. A

Subscribe now

Subscribe now

You don’t need to move faster; you need to move differently. This is a continuous wake-up call of mine. There’s a version of you that doesn’t need to rush, a version that wakes up without bracing for the day, moving with intention instead of urgency. But you don’t always meet that version because life has taught you to move fast, respond quickly, and stay ready. Somewhere along the way, speed became your survival strategy.

Can anyone relate?

This April, we will NOT rush. We will allow it to unfold, reminding us that growth isn’t always loud. Sometimes, it looks like saying no, pausing before responding, choosing rest without guilt (I have to do this A LOT), and sitting with yourself long enough to hear what’s really going on. Slowing down is uncomfortable because when you slow down...you notice what’s not working, what feels off, and what you’ve been avoiding. Whew!!

From a Dr. A, I/O Psychology lens…

When people lack autonomy, they don’t always quit. They adapt. They withdraw quietly. They contribute less. They conserve their energy. Not because they don’t care. But because they’ve learned their environment doesn’t support their full self. And if we’re honest... We do the same thing in our lives. I know I have.

Reflection:
Where am I moving fast… just to avoid feeling something?

Closing:

Slowing down is not falling behind. It is choosing to move in a way that allows you to actually arrive. If this resonated, stay with me. This space is where we learn how to move with intention again.

Thank you for being you!

Dr. A

Subscribe now

Let me share something people don’t say out loud enough... Purpose carries weight. Read that again.

You know how to finish this statement, “To whom much is given...” We love talking about passion. We celebrate calling. We post about impact. (Talking about myself).

But we don’t talk about what it truly feels like to carry it. And if I’m honest, purpose can feel incredibly heavy when it’s on your shoulders. I mean, all of it! Because purpose asks something of you. It requires sacrifice. It will stretch you beyond who you used to be and introduce you to a version of yourself you didn’t even know existed. (Ask me how I know.)

And let me tell you, that kind of growth? It’s not always pretty. It’s not always polished.

It’s not always social media-worthy. Sometimes it’s quiet. Sometimes it’s lonely.
Sometimes it feels like you’re pouring out more than you’re receiving. Even meaningful work will drain you if you keep giving without being poured into. But here’s the truth: that doesn’t mean you’re in the wrong place, nor does it mean you missed your calling. It simply means you’re human.

See, purpose was never meant for you to carry alone. You need rest. You need a team. You need space and people who give back instead of always taking from you. These are lessons I learned along this journey without my kids, and guess what... those spaces and people might not be who you expect. Even the strongest engines will burn out without care, and leaders with vision need somewhere safe to fall apart. Because, believe me, they will.

Purpose isn’t about running yourself into the ground. It’s about harmony and flow. It’s about knowing when to push forward… and when to step back. That’s not quitting. That’s maintaining the mission and the vision. You don’t have to rush everything. You don’t have to carry everything. You don’t have to prove anything. You’re allowed to move with purpose.

You’re allowed to protect your energy. You’re allowed to walk in your purpose instead of dragging it behind you.

Reflection Prompts

• What part of my purpose feels heavy right now?
• Am I tired from the work or from doing it without support?
• Where do I need to slow down so I can keep going?

Action Step

Take a real look at your energy this week.
Let one thing go that doesn’t belong anymore…
and replace it with something that restores you.

Purpose isn’t a race, so stop running

Dr. A

Living The Io Life Planner (5)

1.1MB ∙ PDF file

Download

Download

Read more

Enjoy!

Read more

Subscribe now

I believe this is the season in my life when purpose stops whispering to me and starts walking beside me. Not loud. Not flashy. Just steady and ready.

I felt that shift after attending a retreat centered on post-traumatic growth. I went carrying grief that felt heavier than my body could hold. I arrived exhausted from mourning and my impulsivity. But somewhere between the stillness, the reflection, and the sacred conversations, I began to understand something that changed me:

I will always miss my children… But I do not have to remain frozen in mourning for them.

There is a difference.

Mourning kept me still. Missing them allows me to move while carrying love instead of only pain. That retreat (Warrior PATHH) helped me realize my purpose is not something waiting in the distance. It is something walking with me, encouraging me to keep going even when my heart feels tender.

Purpose in motion now looks like quiet discipline in my own life. It looks like showing up when there’s no applause. It looks like choosing progress over perfection while my healing unfolds in real time. I used to think purpose arrived like lightning—one dramatic moment that rearranged everything. You know the shiny object rolling by?

But I have learned something different. Purpose is rhythm.

It is a mother rising early to build a dream before the house wakes.
It is a veteran returning to school, not for recognition, but for alignment.
It is a leader rewriting systems so others can breathe easier.

And now, it is me—choosing to live, lead, teach, and build in honor of the love I still carry.

Purpose is not found. Purpose is practiced.

Through the lens of I/O psychology, I see this clearly. When my daily actions align with what matters most to me, my energy expands. My own research on autonomy reminds me that meaningful work restores what grief drains, and having healing fuels endurance. Direction fuels discipline.

Purpose is sustained motion, not emotional hype. Read that again!

I do not need a viral moment. I need faithful, small steps. Small movements compound. Quiet efforts stack up. Tiny pivots redirect destinies. Purpose is not proven in grand gestures. It is revealed in what I choose to repeat. One word… Habits.

And every time I choose to keep building, keep teaching, keep serving, I honor both my healing and my children’s legacy.

Because purpose doesn’t erase pain. It gives pain a go-to place, somewhere sacred.

Reflection Prompts for you to Ponder

• Where in my life am I waiting for motivation instead of building discipline?
• What daily rhythm is quietly shaping my future?
• How can I honor those I love by continuing to move forward?

Action Step

Choose one small action this week that aligns with who you are becoming — and repeat it daily.

No announcement. No performance. Just motion.

Because purpose doesn’t sit still.

Thank you for reading

Dr. A

Subscribe now

By the time February ends, most people are ready to pack away the hearts and move on. I assume.

For me, the end of this month feels like crossing a small emotional finish line. Not because the pain disappears—but because I survived another February with my heart still open, and that took acceptance. Accepting that another birthday without my son is gone. Accepting that another anniversary will not be celebrated for my son and daughter-in-law.

It is not the kind of acceptance that says, “This is fine.” But the kind that says, “This is real.”

Acceptance is not surrender. It’s not giving up or in. It’s not pretending things don’t hurt or bother me. It doesn’t mean I still don’t get angry at times. Acceptance is the radical act of telling the truth about your life without letting that truth destroy you. (Whew, as I wrote that!)

I’ve learned that when you accept life as it is—messy, unfair, unpredictable—you stop fighting reality and start directing your energy toward what you can still create. As my therapist reminded me, what we resist persists!

Courage taught me how to stand. Acceptance taught me how to rest.

It taught me how to sit with discomfort instead of running from it. How to feel awkward, lost, and uncertain—and not interpret those feelings as failure. How to trust myself even when the future feels unfamiliar.

Trusting myself was the hardest part. Because when life breaks your heart, trust feels dangerous. You want guarantees. You want control. You want proof that loving again—people, dreams, work, life—is worth the risk.

But here’s the truth I keep coming back to: When you trust yourself, you don’t need life to be predictable; you only need to know that you’ll handle whatever comes. That kind of trust doesn’t make you naïve. It makes you resilient. It allows you to create again. To imagine again. To even build again—even after loss.

Acceptance gave me permission to slowly relax into uncertainty. To stop punishing myself for storms I didn’t cause. To make new plans when old ones fell apart. To still find joy in alternate routes. This month of love taught me something most Valentine’s cards never will: Love is not about what stays. It’s about what shapes you.

And acceptance is how I learned to carry love forward without letting grief become the only story I tell about my life.

Dr. A, with love and autonomy.

Subscribe now

Dr. A

Living The Io Life Reflection Worksheet

3.05MB ∙ PDF file

Download

Download

Read more