If you have not read, What the Eye Omits By: Woodz , you have missed the start to a new series the RTL Podcast will upload soon, False Hope. Real Pain. Heres a quote, Parole Boards feel obligated to hold the victim's families of said crimes, tightly to their bosom, which is expected of them by law abiding citizens. But, what most citizens are oblivious to is the other side of the fence. In this series we will journey into criminal cases that ended with a sentence that has the individual go before the parole board in New York State and is denied. The affects of such denial can be harmful mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically to a prisoners who receives anywhere from 1 to 2 years added onto their sentence. Only to be send back to the parole board to undergo the same mental uncertainty exhaustion again. All of that is coupled with the pain and suffering due to false hope in seeing their loved one home.

At no time can we forget some of the physical and emotional pain victims and their families endured at the fault of those incarcerated. However, the system does not want to also admit, how after conviction the focus of the case only shines on the defendant. Those incarcerated should have every right to pursue their freedom especially after being rehabilitated. It is no secret, that a person who is incarcerated finds pout quickly that it is not easy. Being around some of the worst people, living in harsh conditions, eating quick chilled food and sleeping on horrible mattresses. These are just a few of the low level standards a person in New York Prisons must face whether deserved or not. To say they deserve such harsh conditions and stay in prison forever is see yourself on a high horse that can buck any minute now. It is to protest that once a person takes a cookie from the cookie jar they would end up with a life sentence in prison. Society tends to forgets that how we are all flawed individuals who cannot be perfect no matter how much money we have or the color of our skin.

To rehabilitate prisoners it is encourage that they take college courses and special programs while under regular and sometimes outrageous prison conditions which is never taken into consideration. Harvard students may have stress and some fears surrounding their lives daily in the course of obtaining a degree. Families of those incarcerated are able to see loved ones excel by changing their views of life, obtain a degree, and learn coping skills to stop from being triggered. They are proud of how time away has been well used and has transformed their loved one into a better person. To bring them home would equate to placing the icing on the cake with decorations. Having all of those feelings taken away with a parole denial is heart breaking for the family no matter the crime.

They get emotional and upset because they can see the work put in day and night to become who they are at that moment. Only to be denied a chance based on their previous actions from 20 to 30 years ago. After being denied the parole board would give a new sentence anywhere from 12 to 24 months. At that time, the person will have another chance to prove that they have changed and ready to be released. In most situations, the prisoner is not taking more programs and there are no more opportunities to acquire another degree so they literally sit and wait until their next hearing. The family hurts in ways unexplainable to those who never experienced the side affects of the parole board.

In upcoming episodes of RTL we will talk to people who were denied parole and learn of how the affect touched their family. If you have questions or comments you want to include please email JJosephRTL@gmail.com. Subscribe Now! Love on Life Podcast on Substack.

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The courts are fully aware of my condition and how it played a central role in my case. Yet rather than helping me get the care I desperately need, they’ve prioritized securing a conviction. I’m still fighting my case today.

As I look around, I see so many men like me—mentally ill, misunderstood, and often undiagnosed. Since President Ronald Reagan shut down many mental health facilities, jails and prisons have become the default institutions for the mentally ill. It’s said that the jail I’m in holds the most mentally ill individuals in New York City. After three years here, I can see the painful truth in that.

Every day is a battle for sanity. In a place that makes you feel worthless, it’s hard to find a sense of purpose. I’ve lost contact with almost everyone I once held dear. People have come and gone like the seasons, while I’m stuck in a place where time seems to stand still. Mentally, I’ve had to cut all ties to the outside world. All my relationships are now strictly transactional. I don’t have the emotional capacity to deal with pain, so I guard my heart and mind just to survive.

Many others aren’t able to cope and turn instead to drugs—especially K2, which is destroying our brothers. I’ve seen men become like zombies within months. They use the drug to escape the suffering, and it’s affecting all age groups—particularly the younger ones, ages 19 to 25. They “F out,” as we say—hallucinating, losing touch with reality, and acting out in dangerous ways. The results are often violence, overdoses, or worse.

I try to speak with young men here every week. I use my story to help them find purpose and meaning in life. It’s what keeps me going. So many of them are angry—angry at the world, at the system, at life. They feel like there’s nothing to live for. That pain often turns into violence or gang activity, because gangs give them something to belong to in a place where they feel like they have nothing and no one.

I’ve seen young men get released, only to return a year, a month, or even days later. They come back more broken than before, often with no support system and deep psychological scars. Some struggle with addiction, others with undiagnosed mental illness—and few have loved ones to help them heal or get professional help. Without support, how long can they realistically last in society?

I believe that mental health counseling should be mandatory for all individuals upon release from jail or prison. And to families with loved ones incarcerated: please be patient with them. They need your support more than you may realize. Sending money is helpful, but it isn’t enough. Being there—through visits, phone calls, or letters—makes all the difference. Let them know they are not forgotten. Help them adjust when they return. Be their bridge back to society.

As an incarcerated man, I speak for many when I say—we all need someone. If you or a loved one need support, or would like to donate.please reach out to our foundation at Loveonlife.org or follow us on Instagram at @love_on_life_foundation. #powerloveslife

#depressionstands

Thank you.

Let’s look at trauma. Trauma can be caused by past events—moments that have affected us physically, emotionally, or mentally. These events may have hurt us so deeply that we choose not to face them. Instead, we hide them away somewhere we think we will never have to revisit again. This is the truth for so many of us, and it explains why our lives often feel complicated and unmanageable.

Why do we become angry and defensive when someone points out something we could do to improve ourselves? Why do certain feelings cause us to withdraw from the world? The answers to these questions are often found in our traumas and triggers.

Some of us have experienced bullying or abuse during childhood, leaving us feeling helpless and weak. Years later, even though we are no longer being abused or bullied, the scars remain. On the surface, we may be doing well—we may even feel like we have control over our lives. But then someone in our workplace or personal life triggers a past trauma. Suddenly, we become angry and defensive, desperate to prove we are no longer that helpless child. We live our lives constantly trying to prove who we are, walking around with a chip on our shoulder.

On the other hand, some people react to trauma by withdrawing completely—feeling helpless, hopeless, and weak both mentally and physically. They see themselves as victims and blame their abusers or tormentors for everything that goes wrong in their lives. In both cases, trauma dictates how we live.

So, what should we do when we feel this way? We need to ask ourselves why. Why are we reacting like this—especially if those reactions are destructive to our well-being?

For me, I was lost for so long. I couldn’t figure out why I could never trust anyone, yet at the same time, I had major trust issues. I blamed everyone for the hardships in my life and pointed fingers at everyone except myself. Eventually, when people could no longer deal with my destructive behavior, I was left alone. At that point, I could no longer blame anyone but myself. That was my turning point.

I realized that the things my mother did to me affected all my intimate relationships and friendships. I also had to accept that being put up for adoption by my biological mother was another trauma I had been carrying. I started by facing the pain of my biological mother not raising me. Yes, I was sad—but I also began to see the good: she gave me life. Without her, I wouldn’t even have the chance to choose what kind of life I wanted to live. She did her part, and now it was time for me to take ownership of my own life.

Then I turned to the trauma caused by my adoptive mother. I realized that by continuing to see myself as a victim, I was allowing her to keep winning—even after 15 years without contact. That was me giving away my power. I decided to take control of my mental state instead. I now understand that she was deeply unwell, and I hope she gets the help she needs. I no longer hate her; I actually feel more sorry for her than anything.

As for my biological mother, I no longer carry anger toward her either. I can only imagine what she might have gone through when she had me. I was so focused on my own pain that I never considered what trauma she may have endured. Today, I have nothing but love for her.

Since I have faced my traumas, many of my triggers have disappeared. My life feels so much better, and my relationships have improved as well. I no longer blame others for my struggles—I take responsibility for myself.

Sometimes, a trip down memory lane is the only way to answer present questions. Many of us are living with past hurt and pain. We hide these moments away, bottling them up instead of confronting them. But as we get older, they seep out in our behaviors and in how we see the world. Too often, we don’t see the world as it is—we see it as we are. If we are broken, then everything looks broken.

Some of us turn to drugs to escape our past traumas. But the addiction is not really to the drug itself—it is to the relief it provides from our pain. We cling to whatever numbs us, even if it destroys our bodies and minds, because facing the trauma feels harder. But the truth is, we would do less harm to ourselves if we faced our trauma directly.

Understanding our trauma holds the key to change. It gives us the power to stop destructive behaviors, reclaim control, and truly heal. I now know that I can improve myself only when I stop blaming others and take responsibility for my life.

I encourage everyone to reflect on past events or traumas that may have shaped how they think or act in negative ways. Some of the answers to our greatest struggles live within us.

If you would like to speak with someone who understands, please feel free to reach out to me.

#PowerLoveLife #DepressionStand #1yearanniversary

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