On August 11 at 6:51 AM, I logged on to Zoom from New Jersey while a group in the Philippines was already well into their evening.

I listened as Abbey (my cousin, who also works for Balik Kalipay Center for Psychosocial Response) spoke about legal capacity and the difference between supported decision-making and substitute decision-making for people who need support with their mental health.

Then Abbey gave the floor to me. For the next two hours, I shared:

This title idea came from one of my closest friends during a recent 1:1 conversation over dessert at Wendy’s. I liked the word survival because this was not going to be a presentation about Bipolar 1 from a textbook.

I was going to talk about living it. I shared:

1. my history with Bipolar

2. four hospitalizations

3. five negative effects institutionalization had on me

4. human rights violations I experienced

5. questions people often ask me about managing my diagnosis

6. the resources I now use to support my mental wellness

What I did not expect was how much I would learn from putting my own history beside a human rights framework.

Before this talk, I knew what happened to me. I did not always know the language for it.

I knew what it felt like to lose trust in people I loved after hospitalization.

I knew what it did to my confidence and self-worth.

I knew what it was like to learn the “right answers” to questions from medical professionals because my goal was simple: I wanted to get out ASAP!

I knew what it was like to take medication twice a day and feel my mind slow down with it. I hated feeling as if my thoughts, movements, and emotions were moving through mud.

And I knew what happened to me during some of my hospitalizations.

What I did not know well enough was how to talk about those experiences in terms of my rights.

The QualityRights training gave me language I wish I had 14 years ago.

The training draws a distinction between seeing a person as a patient who needs to be fixed and seeing the same person as a human being who still holds rights and can take part in decisions about her own life. The human rights approach recognizes choice and dignity as part of care.

That distinction is huge!

Because during a mental health crisis, people around us can become so focused on keeping us safe that they stop asking us what we truly need.

Help me make a decision. Please don’t erase me from the decision.

This was one of my biggest takeaways from Abbey’s discussion about legal capacity.

Needing guidance does not mean I stop having a voice.

There are periods when my mind moves too fast. I have experienced racing thoughts, impulsive decisions, lack of sleep, and the feeling of being “unstoppably productive.” I know those signs now. I also know I need people around me who recognize them.

• support me

• ask me questions

• explain my options

• tell me what they’re seeing

• remind me to sleep, to eat, to take a bath

• help me slow down enough to understand what is happening

• give me information I can use

Those actions support my decision-making.

Making decisions about my body, treatment, movement, money, relationships, or life without including me replaces my decision-making.

QualityRights calls the first approach supported decision-making and the second substitute decision-making. Supported decision-making helps a person understand, weigh, and communicate her own choices rather than transferring the decision to another person.

I wish I understood this distinction in 2012.

Good intentions do not erase what the person experiences.

This part is uncomfortable.

Family members and health workers can make decisions believing they are protecting a person.

I understand this more now as a mom. Fear can make people act fast. Love can make family members desperate to stop a crisis.

Yet the person receiving the help still experiences what happens next.

When people make decisions “for your own good,” you can still experience fear, humiliation, loss of control, and betrayal. The QualityRights material makes this point directly: breaches of legal capacity can come from good intentions and still violate a person’s rights.

I have lived through this conflict.

People I loved wanted me safe.

I also came out of some hospitalizations struggling to trust those same people.

Both can exist in the same story.

That is one reason I want families, caregivers, mental health workers, and people with lived experience talking to each other before the next crisis happens.

The way you help a person becomes part of her recovery story.

Institutionalization did not end when I walked out of the building.

I brought parts of those experiences home.

I struggled with trust. My confidence dropped. Certain places became tied to memories of hospitalization. I became more guarded about what other people could decide for me.

This is why I no longer think we can judge mental health care by one question:

Did we stop the crisis?

We also need to ask:

What did our response do to the person?

• Did she leave with more trust or less?

• Did she understand what happened to her?

• Did people listen to her?

• Did she participate in decisions?

• Did she leave knowing her rights?

• Did the care help her return to her family, work, relationships, and community with hope?

The QualityRights training describes recovery as more than becoming “normal again” or removing symptoms. Recovery includes identity, relationships, purpose, community, physical health, emotional health, and having control over one’s own life.

That description comes much closer to how I understand my own recovery.

My recovery does not look like a hospital discharge paper.

My recovery looks like knowing myself. I know lack of sleep is dangerous for me; overworking can send my energy in the wrong direction; prolonged stress and major life transitions require more attention from me.

I know I need people who can tell me, with love, when they see signs I am missing.

I also have a Mental Health “First Aid” Kit:

None of those tools replace professional care when I need it.

QualityRights describes recovery as the person’s own journey. Families and health workers can support it, but they do not get to define what recovery must look like for the person. The training also asks staff to treat people as experts in their own experience.

I love that.

Expert in my own experience.

A psychiatrist knows psychiatry.

A mental health worker knows the tools and training of her profession.

My family knows parts of me I cannot always see.

And I know what it feels like to live inside my own mind and body.

We need all of those perspectives at the table.

Human rights should not disappear when a person becomes unwell.

Before preparing for this talk, I had little knowledge about how my own experiences connected to specific human rights.

Now I want to learn more.

The QualityRights training discusses rights connected to legal capacity, security, freedom from cruel or degrading treatment, community living, and health care based on free and informed consent.

This gave me a new question to bring into conversations about mental health care:

How do we help a person through a crisis without taking away more of her dignity in the process?

The answer cannot live only in policies.

It lives in how a nurse talks to a patient.

It lives in whether a family member asks before deciding.

It lives in whether a person receives information she can understand.

It depends on whether staff uses communication before force.

It depends on whether the person at the center of the crisis is still treated as a person.

The QualityRights material asks mental health workers to seek free and informed consent, use communication and de-escalation instead of force, and involve the person in decisions about her own life.

For me, those are not abstract principles.

I know what the opposite feels like.

Then Abbey told me what my story did for her.

After our session, Abbey wrote:

“You helped us understand, in a deeply human way, the impact that violations of rights can have on a person’s trust, dignity, and sense of safety.”

She also wrote:

“Behind every diagnosis is a person with a story, a history, strengths, fears, hopes, and the right to be heard and treated with dignity.”

I read her words and thought about why I keep sharing stories I once wanted to hide.

During our conversation, team members told me that my story helped them think about patients with more grace and to ask what lies beneath a person’s behavior rather than judging the behavior alone.

That meant a lot.

Tita Rose, one of the leaders of the group, also shared:

“It’s our choice to consciously look for the good, even when there’s always bad all around us constantly.”

The conversation felt personal and intimate. Abbey and her team gave me room to speak without filtering the parts of my story that make people uncomfortable.

And maybe this is where change starts.

• a health worker brings professional training

• a family member brings years of history

• a person with lived experience brings knowledge no textbook can provide

Put those voices in the same room. Let them talk. Let them disagree. Let them ask better questions.

Then build care with the person instead of around her.

I still live with Bipolar 1.

I still have work to do to protect my mental wellness.

I still need guidance from people I trust.

What I understand now is this:

I can need help and still have a voice.

Those two truths belong together.

If you are a mental health worker, caregiver, family member, or a person living with a mental health diagnosis, I would love to hear from you:

What does support look like when it respects both safety and the person’s right to decide?

Share your experience in the comments. And send this to a caregiver, family member, or mental health worker who needs to be part of this conversation.

Subscribe now

You have a story, and it’s not small or insignificant.

That thought came up a lot during the week leading up to June 10.

A few weeks ago, I had no idea I’d soon be sharing one of the most personal stories of my life with our community.

Last June 2025, I learned about the Borough of Bergenfield Stigma Free Committee. I later found out that our First Lady started it out of her passion for mental health, something very close to my heart.

So I started getting to know the chairperson and the members.

Then, on June 3, I attended my very first committee meeting at our local library.

When it was my turn to introduce myself, I shared a little about myself as an immigrant mom who survived a career in corporate IT while managing Bipolar I.

And then…

One thing led to another.

Before I knew it, our First Lady invited me to be one of the guest speakers for the Pride Raising event on June 10.

“Okay, seven days to prepare. I got this.”

My first thought? DM the Toastmasters!

So I reached out to my cousin Denley and my university friend Lindsay.

Both generously shared frameworks, stage presence tips, and advice on how to create a flow that I could deliver without reading from a script.

Then the pen-and-paper lover in me got to work.

I started gathering stories.

Since this was for the Stigma Free Committee, I naturally focused on mental health and the lessons I’ve learned over the years.

Around that time, I was reading a book by Kindra Hall.

“How would you make a story stick?”

I worked with this framework:

After deciding on the insights I wanted the audience to remember, it was time to practice.

Thankfully, I have some favorite spots around town where I can walk, think, pray, and rehearse out loud without anyone wondering why this lady is talking to herself.

Little by little, the speech came together.

And then June 10 arrived.

I was nervous.

Very terrified!

But just seconds before the Mayor called my name, I heard people cheering me on.

Ate Marisol, Kirsty Nicole, Ate Liliza, Meann, First Lady Ilya, and Pastor Rich.

That meant a lot.

Then, after receiving my certificate from the Mayor and walking back to my seat, former NJ Assemblyman Dr. Tim Eustace smiled and said,

“That was a good speech.”

And honestly, I still couldn’t believe what had just happened.

I’m glad I said yes.

Love, love, love this opportunity.

Thank you, Borough of Bergenfield Stigma Free Committee.

Happy Pride! 🌈

If you’ve ever wondered…

1. 1. Whether you have a story

2. 2. Whether you can tell it

3. 3. Whether you must tell it

YES to all 3, all the time.

Subscribe now

I turned 47 last week.

Birthdays used to make me audit my life. I would think about career progress, financial goals, unfinished plans, and whether I had accomplished enough for my age.

For a long time, I believed good work needed to look important from the outside. I was drawn to high-pressure projects, recognizable clients, packed calendars, and work people immediately think highly of when you describe it at parties or networking events.

After almost two decades inside corporate environments, I learned how to manage projects, support global teams, train users, handle clients, and survive engagements where priorities changed every week.

I became good at translating technical language into language that business teams could understand. I learned how to walk into messy situations and help people organize chaos.

I’m grateful for all of it.

Still, this past year surprised me.

Some of the moments that gave me the deepest sense of fulfillment had nothing to do with title, status, or scale.

The Moments I Value

One morning, I was helping an adult ESL student at the Bergenfield Public Library practice English pronunciation.

Another day, I was inside a public school classroom helping a student work through a Math problem after she became frustrated and convinced herself she “wasn’t good at Math.”

A few weeks later, I walked into school again, and the vice principal smiled and said, “Hey, Miss Salinas, I’ve seen you twice in the last 24 hours.”

“What can I say?” I laughed. “I love this school.” Later that night, I realized how sincere my answer was.

At 47, I’m paying closer attention to moments like that.

For years, I assumed fulfillment would arrive through achievement and momentum. I kept aiming towards the next role, the next challenge, the next opportunity. Yet the work that continues to give me energy looks far simpler now.

I love being part of the moment when things finally start making sense for someone. Whether it’s a student, a client, or a business owner, helping people untangle problems gives me a different kind of satisfaction.

That pattern kept repeating all year.

What I Heard at Agentforce

The Salesforce conference in NYC was full of conversations about AI, automation, intelligent agents, and the future of work.

I enjoyed learning where the technology is heading. The tools were impressive, the conversations were ambitious, and the energy inside felt optimistic.

Still, the more technology advances, the more I notice how deeply human most workplace problems remain.

Underneath all the excitement, I kept hearing the same frustrations I’ve heard for years.

Teams felt overwhelmed by disconnected tools. Leaders struggled with workflows that had grown too complicated. Employees didn’t trust their reports. New hires kept asking the same questions because onboarding remained inconsistent.

People spent too much time searching for information buried across email threads, Slack messages, shared drives, meeting notes, and multiple versions of the same document.

None of those problems sounded unfamiliar to me.

I’ve spent years working in environments where good people were exhausted because the systems around them became increasingly difficult to navigate.

That realization followed me throughout the conference.

For all the conversations about AI transforming the future of work, I kept thinking about how many employees still struggle with the basics: communication, trust, ownership, and operational clarity.

The Team in Ohio

In 2017, during a consulting engagement in Akron, a client asked me to help prepare for their Salesforce admin’s maternity leave. My responsibility sounded simple: learn her processes, document the workflows, and support the transition before she stepped away.

One day, she opened the custom reports folder.

Hundreds of reports appeared on the screen. Many had nearly identical names. Some contained filters so specific that nobody else understood how they worked. Several reports were duplicates created over the years due to urgent requests.

At first glance, the system looked overwhelming.

But I didn’t see a broken team. I saw employees keeping up with rapid growth while responding to constant pressure and shifting business needs.

Most admin folks are doing their best inside structures that evolved too quickly. Workarounds become permanent. Documentation gets postponed. Reporting structures multiply. Communication spreads across too many channels.

Then the mess becomes normal because nobody has enough time to rebuild the foundation properly.

What Operational Chaos Does to People

Once I understood that, I also stopped judging myself harshly for feeling drained in environments filled with friction.

A messy operation drains energy fast. People lose hours searching for files, fixing preventable mistakes, recreating work that already exists, and remembering which version of a document is the latest one.

Over time, employees lose confidence because they no longer trust the systems around them.

This happens in large corporations, small businesses, schools, and nonprofits.

Different workplaces, same human frustration.

Why I Love Teaching

Whether I’m helping a third grader with fractions, supporting an ESL learner at the library, or helping small business owners with their workflows, the deeper work remains similar.

Most people walk into learning environments afraid of looking foolish.

They fear clicking the wrong thing. They avoid asking basic questions. They worry people will judge them for not understanding fast enough.

I know that feeling well myself.

Good teaching changes the atmosphere in the room. You can see it when a person stops shrinking back and starts engaging again.

What I Value at 47

Earlier in my career, I believed my value came from knowing the tools.

Now I understand my strongest skill is helping people make sense of systems that have become overwhelming, disorganized, or difficult to navigate.

I’ve spent years translating complexity into language people can understand, creating structure inside chaotic environments, and helping teams regain confidence in workflows they had stopped trusting.

Many organizations do not need another platform, another dashboard, or another complicated implementation project.

They need cleaner workflows, practical documentation, communication structures that make sense, and systems employees will use.

These days, I appreciate usefulness more than ever.

I appreciate the manager who organizes information well, the teacher who explains concepts patiently, the consultant who simplifies complexity, and the employee who documents processes clearly so the next person doesn’t struggle unnecessarily.

Those contributions rarely receive public attention, yet they improve people’s daily lives in real ways.

Final Thoughts

I listen to my body, mind, and spirit more now.

I know which environments drain me, which conversations light me up, and which work I gravitate toward again and again, even if there are unexpected life changes around me.

I keep the type of work where people regain confidence in themselves, their work, or the systems around them.

Sometimes that work happens inside a classroom. Sometimes, at a library table, during a client call, or in a conversation with a business owner, holding too many things together.

The environment changes, yet people are often asking for the same thing: support, understanding, and a little less friction.

After all these years, I’ve realized good work has less to do with status and more to do with what happens to people after interacting with you.

Do they leave feeling better, more hopeful, more willing to keep going?

That question means more to me now than titles ever did.

One of the gifts of getting older is learning to pay closer attention to how work feels after the meeting ends, after the classroom empties, after the client call is over.

Some work drains you long after it’s finished. Some work leaves you feeling more alive.

Subscribe now

P.S. If your business needs help behind the scenes (too many tools, confusing processes, files all over the place), I created a focused offer to make things simpler and easier to manage. You can learn more here.

“Good morning. I’m Miss Mae.”

I smiled for a second after saying it out loud because life keeps introducing me to new versions of myself.

My May started inside a Math classroom.

Two years ago, my mornings looked completely different. I spent my days inside project meetings, client escalations, governance calls, UAT sessions, deployment discussions, and training workshops across global teams.

My brain switched between business users, development teams, deadlines, defects, and client concerns all day long.

Now I explain Math lessons, monitor classroom energy, and remind students to charge their Chromebooks before class.

I love both versions of my life because both taught me how people work.

The Version of You at Work Is Not the Only Version

People in corporate environments love saying “wear multiple hats.” I understand the phrase well because I’ve worn many myself. I’ve worked as a:

• Call Center Agent

• Tier 1 Support

• Soft Skills Trainer

• Business Analyst

• Project Manager

• Knowledge Manager

• Customer Success Manager

• Program Integration Team Lead

• People Lead

Then, outside work, another set of responsibilities awaited:

• Mom

• Wife

• Daughter, Sister, Relative

• ESL Tutor

• Friend

• Mental Wellness Advocate

• Active Local Community Member

One role teaches technical skills.
Another role teaches patience.
Another role teaches endurance.
Another role teaches humility.

People talk about workload all the time. I think the harder part comes from switching emotional energy throughout the day. You finish one difficult meeting and immediately help your child with homework. You answer emails while folding laundry. You attend a networking event at night because you still want to learn and stay relevant in an AI-enabled world.

You wake up tired and still choose to teach, guide, help, support, and solve problems.

Modern Work Drains More Than Time

Most professionals are managing invisible emotional labor while performing professionally. People are navigating:

• career changes

• financial pressure

• caregiving

• identity changes

• burnout

• global teams

• uncertainty about AI

• pressure to remain productive no matter what happens at home

Then companies wonder why communication breaks down. Most employees are mentally switching tabs all day long.

A person joins a Zoom call while under pressure at home.
A manager responds to emails while worrying about aging parents.
A teammate working the night shift misses a deadline because their mental battery already collapsed three hours earlier.

The emotional side of work affects performance more than most leaders want to admit.

Relationship Management Should Be Part of Onboarding

This is why I keep thinking Relationship Management belongs inside every company’s New Hire Training curriculum. It’s a must-have core operational skill, not an optional nice-to-have people topic.

Without it, how will teams build trust? How will people survive pressure, conflict, deadlines, misunderstandings, personality differences, and constant change?

Most workplace problems begin long before the software fails.

Teams fail when communication breaks down.
Projects fail when expectations stay unclear.
Employees disengage when trust disappears.

Relationship Management affects:

• collaboration

• accountability

• leadership

• customer trust

• team morale

• retention

• productivity

Companies spend thousands of dollars on platforms, dashboards, and AI tools. Then they underinvest in the human skills required to operate those systems well.

To Love and To Work

I recently revisited a quote from Erik Erikson’s 1968 book Identity: Youth and Crisis.

He wrote:

“Freud was once asked what he thought a normal person should be able to do well. The questioner probably expected a complicated, deep answer. But Freud simply said, ‘Lieben und arbeiten’ (to love and to work).”

That line,

to love and to work…

Most adults spend their lives balancing those two things. Relationship Management sits right in the middle of both.

The way you communicate affects your marriage.
The way you regulate your emotions affects your leadership.
The way you handle stress affects your teammates.
The way you manage your energy affects your family at the end of the day.

People separate “work skills” and “life skills” too much. In reality, the same human being walks into both rooms.

What 7 Client Accounts Taught Me About People

Back when I was a Customer Success Manager of seven accounts, I quickly learned that strong working relationships reduce friction. I worked with overlapping developers, support specialists, team leads, and business analysts across multiple projects. We already understood each other’s communication styles. We trusted each other. We solved problems faster because the context was already shared.

And honestly, speaking Tag-Lish with Filipino teammates during stressful weeks made the workload feel less stressful.

People underestimate how much emotional safety affects performance.

A team performs differently when people feel safe asking questions.
A project moves faster when teammates trust each other’s intent.
Meetings improve when communication feels human instead of political.

The strongest teams I worked with did not rely only on technical skill.

They knew how to work well with people.

No Software Fixes Distrust

No workflow fixes poor communication. No documentation can fix resentment within a team. A healthy workplace runs on relationships first.

The older I get, the more I notice this pattern across schools, companies, startups, and client environments.

You can buy the most expensive CRM, implement AI, or automate half the workflow.

Still, if employees avoid difficult conversations, ignore emotional burnout, or fail to communicate responsibly, the system eventually breaks down. Technology improves operations. Relationships determine whether operations survive pressure.

The 9 AM Version of You

If I designed a Relationship Management curriculum today, I would start with Energy Management. Most people overestimate how much energy they have in a day.

I don’t care whether a person lists three action items or twenty-three. I care whether they understand their own battery well enough to commit responsibly.

If you tell me at 3 PM, “Sorry, I’m too tired to finish this,” then part of the issue started earlier in the day.

• Do hard tasks early.

• Do mentally draining work while your brain still feels fresh.

• Protect your best energy for your highest-value responsibilities.

The 9 AM version of you thinks differently from the 5 PM version.

I learned this lesson through work, motherhood, burnout, and recovery.

Last week at an event, I heard several people say, “I’m so tired,” and I understood exactly what they meant.

Couldn’t help but think,
Do you love the reason you’re tired?

I do.

I feel tired after substitute teaching, after client work, after networking events about AI-enabled businesses, after cleaning the kitchen, and after playing Pusoy Dos with my tween before bedtime.

Still, many of those responsibilities belong to a life I once prayed for. That thought changes my attitude fast.

Rest matters.

Sleep matters.

Mental wellness matters. Your body will always tell the truth about your limits.

But language affects perspective, too.

So when I catch myself saying “Pagod,” (the Filipino word for tired), I try to replace it with “Praise God.”

Praise God, I still get opportunities to learn.
Praise God, people trust me enough to ask for help.
Praise God, my son still wants to spend time with me.
Praise God, I still get to teach.

Even inside a Math classroom at the beginning of May.

Build Better Teams Before Buying Another Platform

If you’re building a team right now and your employees feel disconnected, exhausted, overwhelmed, or constantly misunderstood by one another, your issue probably runs deeper than productivity.

Most teams don’t need another tool first.

They need better communication habits, stronger onboarding, healthier workflows, and leaders who understand how people operate under pressure.

This is the kind of work I care about deeply.

I help teams simplify operations, improve training, strengthen adoption, and build systems people can realistically use without burning out the humans behind them.

If your organization needs support around:

• onboarding and training

• workflow improvement

• cross-functional communication

• relationship management

• team operations

• process simplification + documentation

Send me a message, or connect with me here. I love helping good people work better together.

Subscribe now

“Help me make sense of the term Headless, please? I’m asking because, when I go back home, and my 12-year-old asks what I learned about Salesforce today, I'd better have a clear answer.”

And so the AgentExchange booth expert explained it this way:

“Head” = the UI (User Interface)
The screen, the part you see, the “face” as in Inter-FACE.

So Headless means:
The system works without needing that visible layer, without UI.

They explained Salesforce’s Headless360 like this:

You don’t have to log in to Salesforce to make it work.

It can run in the background.

You choose the “face” (Slack, Claude, WhatsApp, Website).

Where the customer goes, you go.

“I work in Marketing, and of course, you want to use language simple enough to explain things like this, even to middle schoolers.” One of the experts chimed in (and oh boy, she gets me!)

Walking the Campground (15,000 Steps Later)

By midday, I felt the steps. I walked more than I planned. I looked for a place to sit and found a small spot on a bench.

“Excuse me, may I sit with you?” I said to the person on the left, who was busy taking notes on her phone.

“You scared me! Haha!” she said, smiling.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to be sneaky like that, I just am so tired from all the walking! Good thing, I decided to wear sneakers and not heels!” She was wearing sneakers, too.

That’s how we started the conversation until she showed me this SF Ben Media pack brochure, and I was like,

“I know SFBen! He has been making me smart about Salesforce since I started as a BA.”

“He’s our founder!”

“Please tell him his articles, knowledge, and expertise helped me during times when it was hard to find quality resources online. He helped me succeed in my roles!”

Among all the vendors, these were my faves:

1. CloudFiles (DocAI)

Their booth intrigued me because managing multiple file systems is time-consuming, and I became curious about how to consolidate them into a single tool. I learned that CloudFiles, aka DocAI, generates and manages docs using its Universal File Intelligence and Multi-Agent AI, and offers other cool features.

2. FinDock

I walked in because of the yellow smiley face. :) Asked why FinDock, and then I learned it's a Dutch company that has been around for 14 years. Fin as in Finances, and Dock as where things land. I love it because it was explained to me in a friendly, happy way. I thought to myself, when a booth uses “happiness in their tagline and literally adds that familiar yellow smiley face, that’s attractive and I’m all for it.

3. Gearset

Their company color is eye-catching! Ella, whom I learned was one of the product designers, explained how they differ from Copado, the DevOps tool I’m familiar with. She was kind enough to show me a demo, and I was thinking, WOW! As a functional/non-coding person, I can understand the steps in the end-to-end flow I’m seeing on the screen. The tool was intelligent, telling me about conflicts and how to resolve them. Impressive!

4. Ascent Cloud

I've been a fan of this friendly company since 2022. I wore sneakers and made sure to wear my Ascent Cloud socks. I proudly showed them off at their booth. Always pleasant, ready to answer my questions. Complimented them on their recent take-your-kids-to-workday, from which I learned 8-year-olds were being trained for cold calls (what a way to get started with Sales training). Loved it.

5. Slackbot

I’ve heard a lot about Slackbot from the Keynote (how it reads unstructured data in the chat, how it uses Tableau analytics), so it’s the booth I wanted to get hands-on experience with. When it was demo’d, the Slackbot expert entered a prompt (Slackbot on the right side of the screen, while my projects and all things Slack conversations were on the left side of my screen. And so it felt like I didn’t have to leave that workspace; I could be in Slack all day long, since Slackbot is the one who’s checking Tabue for data, and it displays its thinking as it generates the results. Plus, even if a client uses MS Teams, Slackbot can act as a notetaker, so you can focus on the meeting itself while your AI assistant takes the minutes.

2 Takeaways From the Keynote

1. Agentforce Operations

I learned about Agentforce Operations DELL is using, which are out-of-the-box blueprints and can automate any process. I loved how the speaker showed a literal process flow on a whiteboard, and I saw it get automated in less than a minute. You are still in control, and the agents work for you.

2. “Humans Design, Agents Build.”

Not replacing people, but changing what we do.

Old way: Code by humans, implemented by humans, used by humans.

New way: Code augmented by AI, implemented and used by both humans and AI.

Still, we think, we design, we decide. AI alone is not enough.

“95% of AI pilots fail to make it to production,” keynote speaker Patrick Stokes pointed out, “And so you still must first set contexts, permissions, policies, and guardrails.”

The Part No One Talks About Enough

Nothing beats the experience you can only have in a face-to-face conversation.

There’s no need for a quick lookup, and you don’t have to pretend. You come as you are, and that’s more than okay.

You bring out what you know (or don’t know yet), how you think, how you respond, how you explain.

So I asked a hundred questions

• “What is MCP?” It’s Multi Context Protocol.

• “Why name your company Gearset?” “Why Unaric?” “Why Silo?”

Being clear, instead of being clever, matters.

And if they can explain it while giving me a space to absorb what I just heard, then I 100% trust the product more.

What This Day Meant for Me

It was a reminder that simplicity wins the day.

The best conversations are still with humans and not through prompts. I got to ask questions based on how real, unpolished, unscripted their answers were and I loved that kind of interaction.

Tools Don’t Matter Without Understanding. You can have Slackbot, Headless360, and AI agents, but if people don’t understand how they work, it’s not a full success.

You’re back to chaos.

Yes, I Have an Answer Now!

When my middle schooler asks:

“What did you learn today in New York?”

I’ll say:

“I learned so much! I better start drafting my Substack article so I won’t forget the cools things I noted for you.

You know how I have to open Salesforce on my laptop, log in, and click around? They’re building it so people don’t always have to do that anymore. So if I’m just typing questions in ChatGPT, it can still do the job for me in the background.

Curious To Know

What’s one tool you’re using today that you don’t fully understand yet, but would want to? Let’s connect. I’d love to help you.

Last April 14th, I participated in a library focus group. The following day, I sat in a school strategic planning meeting.

I walked into the second room with notes from the first. I wanted to bring real community input into a structured planning conversation.

I love our local public library! I love what it does for its patrons.

When I moved to New Jersey, I did not know where to go during the day. I had questions and a need to feel a sense of belonging in a new place. The library gave me a starting point. I could walk in without an appointment. I could sit, read, observe, and learn how things worked in this community.

As a mom, I saw another side of it. I watched my son find his own rhythm in that space. He would look around, pick a spot, and settle in. I saw other middle schoolers do the same in the YA room. No one told them to be there. They chose it.

That choice says a lot.

That is why I paid attention in that first session.

Listening to the community

The facilitators asked direct questions about the community and the library's future.

They asked what challenges we see as residents. I shared what I notice when I walk through town. The main street has many closed shops. I think about how it used to be a place where families could stay, where kids could go after school, and where residents did not need to leave town to find activities. I walk there from my house, so access is personal for me. When basic services and programs are nearby, it changes how a family moves through the day.

They asked what could impact residents in the next few years. I answered with AI. Technology is advancing rapidly, and students need guidance. Schools will cover part of it, but the community needs to support that learning. The library can play a role by offering programs that help students understand how to use these tools and how to stay safe.

They asked about the role of the library. For me, it is a safe space. It is where I found volunteer opportunities. It is where I see middle schoolers gather without pressure. It offers services people rely on, from reading programs to passport support. It meets people where they are.

They asked if I see a future for the library. My answer was 100% YES! I see it as a place where small business owners can work and take calls without having to leave town (to pay for shared office space). I see it as a place where moms and their small children stay and spend time together. I see it as a catalyst for connection and growth in the community.

What the community made clear

The conversation moved into participation.

Parents talked about internship opportunities, career exposure, and mentorship. They want students to understand what work looks like before graduation. They want access to real-world environments, not only classroom instruction.

They also spoke about what brings students in. Programs need to feel easy to join. They need to fit into a family’s schedule. They need to feel worth the time.

That became my filter. The library has to be worth the trip.

Inside the school planning meeting

The next day, I walked into the school's strategic planning session with those notes in mind.

The structure was strong.

The mission focused on helping students become self-directed learners, succeed in college and in the workplace, and build strong citizenship. It emphasized a safe and supportive environment, preparation for a changing world, and partnerships across the community.

The group worked through goal setting using a clear process. Define what you want to do, explain the impact, and describe the outcome. The focus area I worked on was student, family, and community engagement.

I respect that structure. I use it in my own work.

“However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.”

- Winston Churchill

A plan, no matter how well written, only works when people respond to it.

Connecting both rooms

When it was time to draft goals, I started with simple words, writing down well-being, fun, belonging, and engagement. Then I added action words like create, imagine, enhance, develop, and transform.

I did that because of what I heard the day before. I could not think about goals without thinking about experience.

When the school discussed engagement and community connection, I thought about personal examples from the library conversation.

• Student-led activities (e.g., high schoolers leading programs for elementary school kids)

• Hands-on learning

• Opportunities where parents and children spend time together

• Services that bring people in and give them a reason to return

These are the entry points that make a plan real. The school defines where students need to go. The library reflects how people move through that path.

To me, that is one system.

“People support what they help create.”

- Peter Block

When the community sees itself in the programs, participation follows.

What this looks like in practice

In my work, I see this pattern across teams and organizations.

—> a strong plan creates direction

—> a strong experience creates participation

You need both.

“Vision without execution is hallucination.”

- Thomas Edison

Execution, in this case, is designing experiences that people choose.

The library conversation also surfaced another important idea: partnerships. Instead of building every program internally, the community can engage local businesses and professionals. That expands access, keeps programs relevant, and connects students to real work. It aligns with what schools are aiming for.

The school builds the foundation. The library extends the experience. Both contribute to how students learn, grow, and connect with each other and with the community.

Where this stands for me

I did not leave those two meetings comparing them. I left with a deeper respect for both institutions.

The school is doing important work: defining what students need to learn and become takes structure, discipline, and long-term thinking.

The library plays a different role, but it is just as important. It reflects how people live day to day. It shows where families spend time, what students choose, and what draws them back.

That connection happens in everyday decisions. A parent looks at the evening and decides what is worth the time. A student decides where to go after school. Those decisions determine participation.

If the plan and the experience are aligned, people return. They make it part of their routine. If they are not aligned, even a well-designed plan struggles to gain traction.

When I think about the Bergenfield community, I think about what becomes possible when both sides work together. I think about a main street where families bond, rather than leave town. I think about students getting exposure to work through the active participation of local businesses. I think about the library continuing to serve as a place where people are welcomed, empowered, and included.

I have seen what that kind of environment can do. And that is what I hope we continue to build.

Before you go

If you’re creating and building for a team or a community, whether it’s a system, a process, or a program, take a step back and look at how people are responding to it.

• Did people choose to be part of it?

• Did they come back?

• Did they bring someone with them?

If the answer isn’t strong (yet), no need to rewrite the plan right away.

Instead, go closer to the people you’re building for.

When you need support with this…

Pattern recognition, deep analysis, and long-term strategic thinking are part of what I do for clients.

I also support teams and organizations in simplifying their processes, automating their workflows, and designing user-friendly systems so that workflows run more efficiently and decisions move faster.

The same way I connected what I heard in the library to what I saw in the school, I help teams connect plans to real behavior so their work doesn’t stay on paper.

If you’re working through a plan and want a second set of eyes, you can book a 1:1 session with me here.

Share this

If this resonated, let me know what you think, and feel free to share.

Subscribe now

Two Systems Running at Once

At work, new tech arrives before you have mastered the last one. You sit through training sessions. You hear terms that sound familiar, yet you are still figuring out how they apply to your role. Then you turn around and explain those same concepts to your newly hired teammate.

At home, your life runs on a different clock. Your child needs help with pre-Algebra. Meals need to be planned and prepared. Your body asks for rest, even when your calendar says otherwise. Your mind keeps running through tough conversations long after the meeting ends.

You move between these roles fast. One minute you lead a call. Next, you sit beside your child, filling out a form for track practice. One minute, you review reports. Next, you think about what needs to be booked for summer break.

Time management does not solve this. You are running two full systems at once, and both require your precious attention.

I’ve lived this reality.

I have led system migrations that moved companies from platforms they had used for 3 decades to cloud-based tools. I worked closely with CRM platforms, where success depends less on the tool and more on how people use it.

I led requirements sessions while I was still learning how the organization worked. I built process flows with missing pieces. I aligned developers, IT teams, and end users across time zones, which meant late nights and early mornings. I helped people prepare for change, including those who resisted it.

At the same time, I was figuring out my own life. I could manage a complex program during the day and still feel unsure about how I was taking care of myself after hours. That gap became harder to ignore.

The Kind of Leader Who Grounds You

In 2023, I joined an engagement as an Integration Team Lead and Program Business Analyst.

Our program manager stood out from the start. During my interview, she said she already knew she wanted me on her team. She had seen how I worked and trusted that we would succeed together.

That level of trust changes how you perform.

Over time, she became more than a manager. She became someone I turned to when things felt uncertain. When I faced difficult moments, including a layoff and questions about my identity outside of work, she brought me back to being rational:

• Handle what is in front of you.

• Give yourself grace.

• “I’m proud of you.”

• Keep going.

Coming Back to the Forgotten You

This Spring break, my childhood friend visited us in New Jersey (I call her A’te Eva; A’te = big sister).

She is both an MD and a Family Nurse Practitioner, trained at Harvard, and runs a practice focused on integrative, holistic care.

During her visit, we spoke in our native language (Daragueno) again. It felt natural and familiar. She understood me without long explanations. That kind of connection brought back a version of me I do not always express.

Language has that powerful way to connect you back to self-love.

What Your Body Has Been Saying

One morning, A’te Eva looked at my toes and said my circulation needed support (purplish-black? no good; has to be pink).

I did not expect that kind of observation from a casual moment in the kitchen. She showed me simple ways to massage my feet and hands. After two days, I noticed a huge difference, both in the color of my toes and in how I felt (which was lighter!)

That experience made me realize that I could manage teams, lead projects, and deliver results, yet I had overlooked how my body was doing. For quite some time, I paid close attention to external demands and ignored internal signals.

She brought me back to basics

What you consume affects your body. What you take in through conversations, media, and daily interactions affects your thinking. Your environment builds around what you allow into it.

The questions became more direct.

1. Where does your attention go in the morning?

2. What conversations do you remain part of?

3. What thoughts repeat in your mind throughout the day?

Those answers build your day. Over time, they build your life.

Where the Pressure Builds

At work, your CTO introduces a new AI tool. You complete the required online courses while your inbox keeps filling up. Your manager asks for reports from a system you do not fully trust yet, so you review your work again late at night.

Your role often sits at the intersection of business and technology. You translate both sides. When something breaks, people look to you for answers.

At home, your child asks for help while a client schedules a call. You move from one role to another without a break. Your body signals fatigue, yet you push through the next task.

These are not isolated moments. They stack on top of each other, creating pressure that builds throughout the day.

A Better Way to Operate

I reached a point where pushing through no longer worked (there has to be a different way, I told myself).

I began working wisely by budgeting my mental energy.

So I asked carefully prepared and well-thought-out questions early in a project, which often saved hours of confusion later. I documented as I worked, so I did not rely on memory alone. I focused on what moved the work forward, not on what looked impressive.

At home, I paid closer attention to my mood. When energy dropped, I addressed it first (usually, a glass of water or a piece of fruit does the trick). I ate with intention, moved more, and gave myself time to reset. These were not rewards after a long day. They became part of how I functioned each day.

I also became more present during times with my son. Since he talks waaay faster in English than me, I do my best to comprehend the plots and details of the 5-topic story he constantly shares. I love it, actually.

In my mind, I learned to interrupt patterns earlier. When a thought started to repeat, I asked if it helped me move forward. If it did not, I redirected my focus (usually by hand massage or by grabbing one of my mandala patterns, so I can calmly color).

Reduced noise and fewer inputs led to clearer thinking.

You are managing two forms of change.

At work, systems evolve. AI continues to develop. Expectations increase. That pace will not slow down any time soon.

Your life continues to move. You raise a child and maintain a loving relationship with your partner. You manage your health. You make decisions about your future.

Both require attention. Both require massive energy.

Handling everything at once leads to exhaustion. Choosing where to focus creates progress.

Where You Start

What can you do today?

Simplify how you work. Plus, take care of your body, so you have the energy to make good decisions. You can pay attention to your thoughts so they do not take over your day.

None of these requires a major overhaul. They require small, consistent choices.

There are two layers in your life right now.

1. One you can see —> systems, tools, expectations

2. One you feel —> thoughts, habits, energy

Ignoring either one creates problems. Paying attention to both creates stability.

Not everything needs to be solved at once. You need a way to move forward without losing yourself in the process.

That’s more than enough.

Where are you giving most of your energy today? Is it worth it?

If your systems are messy and your days are heavier than usual, I can help simplify workflows and make your tools easier to use so you can focus on important life matters. Click here to learn more.

Subscribe now

My sister - 1

Me - 1

My brother - 1

My sister’s children - 2

My brother’s children - 3

Her sister’s sons (my cousins) - 2

1 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 3 + 2 = 10

When I step back and think about this, I feel in awe and pride for Mama. Her hands, her impossible standards for cleanliness and orderliness, still guide me to this day.

Sometimes I feel sad that she did not get to meet my son, but I know, deep down, my son knows his grandma because I just cannot stop talking about her.

There were days this past 2025 when I was so down that all I needed was to hear my mom’s loving voice, the way she soothed me when she spoke in Bikolano (our native dialect).

It’s the part of me that’s slowly fading as I build a life in the United States. Thankfully, I still have it.

Thanks to group chats with my elementary school classmates and conversations with my Aunties and Uncles.

There’s nothing like the feeling of finding the right word to describe exactly what you’re going through.

When I speak Bikolano, I feel 105% understood.

Lately, I’ve been enjoying teaching ESL (English as a Second Language) to two adult students. What I love most about them is that they are just as eager as I am to learn English.

The other week, we reviewed how to spell each letter by using “as in”, for example, “A as in Apple, E as in Emily, I as in Ice Cream, L as in Larry, Y as in Yankee.”

This printout idea is from 2004, because during my call center training, we were taught how to spell over the phone.

I was able to share stories about being very clear in how you spell important information, such as your first and last name, and the most effective way to do it is to spell each letter slowly (so that the call center agent does not make a mistake when typing).

You make sure the other person understands you.

Now, I get to teach effective communication...and I know my mom would be proud.

My son has become my unexpected diction coach.

One day, I was asking him if he had finished watching “Jaws”. He thought the word I said was “Joss”. And I was like, can you please repeat how to say “Jaws” vs. “Joss”? My ears told me they were the same, but he insisted they were not.

Isn’t it amazing how learning works?

One person teaches you, and then you pass it on.

Albert Einstein said, (I’m paraphrasing here) “You don’t learn wisdom in school. It’s a lifelong pursuit.”

My mom bathed, fed, and loved 10 children. She was a role model of how to care excellently through patience, attention to detail, consistency, and action.

I find myself doing the same, with my son, my ESL students, the way I speak, the way I interact with clients.

What Mama gave me did not stay in one place. It moved from her beautiful hands, to my voice, to another language, to people from different parts of the world.

And that, to me, is her legacy.

At 27, work looked simple.

→ study hard
→ speak with confidence in meetings
→ deliver high-quality results

If you did those three things well, people would recognize your value. At least that’s what I believed when I started my career.

I remember sitting in conference rooms early in my consulting days. I focused on one thing: sounding smart. I prepared answers. I studied the client’s website to learn their business terms. I tried to show everyone I understood Salesforce.

Knowledge felt like the strongest asset in the room. Two decades later, the picture looks very different.

Knowledge still matters. Yet knowledge does not determine who succeeds inside complex organizations. The larger difference between 27 and 47 comes down to discernment.

It grows through projects that stall halfway through delivery. It grows through clients who change direction mid-implementation. It grows through teams working together while operating from different assumptions.

Over the past 20 years, I have worked across consulting teams, technology projects, and global organizations. My roles included business analyst, project manager, customer success leader, end-user + new hire trainer.

Those roles placed me inside 100s of meetings where teams made difficult decisions while untangling operational problems.

When you sit in enough of those rooms, patterns appear. You see where work breaks down. You see what moves work forward.

If you stand early in your career, these lessons will save you years of frustration. If you already have experience, you will recognize many of them.

1. Technology rarely fixes broken processes

I was convinced tech solved most business problems.

• a client would describe their challenges

• the team would recommend a new system

• once the software launched, we expected the problems to disappear

I remember this one project, the client had invested heavily in a new ERP platform. The system worked exactly as designed. Yet employees kept sending emails asking the same question:

“Who owns the next step?”

The issue had nothing to do with the software. The team never defined how work should move between departments.

Requests bounced between teams, and approvals stalled. People created spreadsheets on the side because nobody trusted the “official” system.

Research from McKinsey confirmed what many consultants learn in practice: digital transformation fails when organizations ignore the underlying process.

Technology cannot repair an obsolete workflow nobody’s updating.

If you want to become valuable in an organization, watch how work gets done.

Watch where requests begin. Follow them through each team involved. Notice where delays appear and where there’s always confusion.

When a team simplifies the process, the technology starts working.

A new tech investment does not fix a broken process.
First, understand how the work flows. Then choose the tool that supports it.

2. Writing things down multiplies your impact

In my early work days, I admired the fastest thinkers in the room.

You know the type → a client asks a difficult question, someone immediately answers, everyone nods.

I wanted to be that person. Over time, I noticed that the consultants who created the most long-term impact were not always the fastest speakers. They were the ones who wrote things down. They created

• simple process maps

• decision and action item logs

• training guides and FAQs

• documentation explaining the How-Tos of the system

Months later, those documents still helped the team.

Meanwhile, the brilliant answer delivered during a meeting often disappeared the moment the meeting ended.

Many organizations rely on tribal knowledge. One experienced employee understands the workflow. Nobody else knows where the information lives.

Confusion spreads when that employee leaves the team.

When knowledge lives inside systems, entire teams benefit from one person’s understanding.

If you want your work to outlast the meeting, write it down because that solution you document once? That guides your team long after the project ends.

3. Communication determines whether projects survive

One of the hardest lessons I learned in consulting had nothing to do with tech. It had to do with silence.

I once worked on a project where the team knew a deadline would slip. Everyone hoped the issue would resolve itself. The problem grew. The conversation came too late. What started as a small delay turned into a crisis.

Strong teams speak early.

They raise risks while the project still has room to adjust. They confirm expectations after meetings. They ask questions before confusion spreads.

Weak teams stay quiet.

The difference between those two habits often determines whether a project succeeds.

Research from the Project Management Institute shows poor communication contributes to the failure of many major projects.

Technology rarely destroys a project. Misunderstood expectations do.

If you want to strengthen your professional reputation, speak earlier than others expect. Won’t hurt to over-communicate.

4. Your reputation travels farther than your résumé

Each new role feels like a fresh beginning. You assume the work you do inside one company stays there when you move on. Professional life rarely works that way.

Several years ago, I ran into a former client in a completely different setting. He brought up a project we did together: a Salesforce Lightning migration. That project was not smooth.

The dev team was working late nights to migrate legacy configurations. Testers kept finding issues during UAT. Stakeholders were nervous about the launch date. Every morning started with messages asking, “Will the system be ready for our call center agents?”

During that phase, my role was not glamorous. I spent hours answering questions from developers, reviewing user stories, documenting decisions, and translating business needs so the technical team could move forward.

Years later, the client still remembered.

He remembered someone on the team stayed transparent about the problems, kept everyone informed, and remained available while the project felt chaotic. People remember how you behave when work becomes difficult.

Industries remain smaller than they appear. Colleagues move between organizations. Clients change companies. Former teammates become hiring managers.

And they remember the people who made work easier.

They remember the colleague who explained complex topics in simple language. They remember the person who helped the team think clearly under pressure.

Technical knowledge earns you a seat at the table.

Reputation earns repeat invitations.

If you want long-term success, treat every project as an opportunity to build trust.

5. Burnout often hides behind strong ambition

Ambition drives strong results early in a career. Many young professionals work long hours because they want to prove their value (I did the same).

During my thirties, I lived in New York while raising a young child and working in consulting roles that demanded constant attention.

My calendar was filled with client meetings, project updates, and late calls across time zones. When the workday ended, I closed my laptop and walked into the kitchen to switch into mom mode:

• dinner

• homework

• 10 pages of Kumon exercises

• bath time

• bedtime stories

Once the apartment was quiet, I opened my laptop again to review updates from teammates in the Philippines who had already started their workday.

That rhythm continued for years. I worked during the day, parented in the evening, and returned to work after everyone slept.

For a while, ambition carried me through that schedule. I wanted to deliver strong work for my clients and support the teams counting on me.

Over time, I noticed the cost.

Exhaustion began to change the quality of my thinking. Decisions took longer. Ideas required more effort.

Consulting rewards strong thinking, and strong thinking requires energy. When energy drops, discernment drops with it.

That season taught me a lesson I wish I had understood earlier in my career. Protecting your energy protects the quality of your work. A rested mind solves problems faster than an exhausted one.

Ambition helps you move forward, and energy protects the thinking that helps you decide what matters.

That’s where discernment begins.

6. Leadership begins long before a management title

Many professionals wait for a management title before they begin acting like leaders. I understand why, after all, titles look like proof of authority.

In practice, leadership begins earlier.

A colleague who helps a team understand a complex idea demonstrates leadership.
A project analyst who organizes information so others can follow the plan demonstrates leadership. A colleague who helps the group think through a difficult decision demonstrates leadership.

Across many organizations, I noticed the most trusted folks often hold no formal authority. Their influence grows because teammates rely on their willingness to help others succeed.

Leadership grows through small actions repeated over time.

7. Experience teaches you which problems deserve attention

When I was 27, I spent hours perfecting small details because I wanted the work to look flawless. I would spend hours refining a presentation slide or rewriting documentation because I wanted the deliverable to be 100% perfect.

One day, a senior colleague looked over my work and said, “Mae, not every task deserves your full energy.”

At the time, I disagreed. I believed good work meant fixing every issue. Experience proved him right.

Some problems affect the entire project. Those deserve your full attention. Other issues fix themselves once the larger system improves. Senior professionals learn to see that difference.

They identify the few decisions that influence outcomes. They focus their attention there and let minor distractions pass.

A question for you

Which lesson took the longest for you to learn? If someone early in their career comes to mind, share this article with them.

Why I write about work this way

I loved solving problems long before I entered the workforce.

When I was five years old, my father gave me math word problems at home. Those small puzzles grew into a fascination with mathematics.

That fascination led me toward a career in technology consulting.

For more than twenty years, my work centered on helping teams untangle messy systems, improve workflows, and make daily work easier for the people doing the job.

Technical problems rarely cause the deepest issues inside organizations. Human behavior does.

• Teams struggle with communication.

• Trust takes time to build.

• Good decisions require discernment.

Those themes sit at the center of this publication.

If your team struggles with messy processes or underused systems

Many organizations invest heavily in technology while overlooking the systems and training that help employees use those tools well.

I work with teams to:

• simplify workflows

• improve how employees use their platforms

• create documentation and training that support daily work

If your organization needs help untangling complex processes or underused tools, feel free to reach out.

If you enjoyed this piece

You can support the publication by:

• tapping the ♡ below

• leaving a comment with your experience

• sharing this article with a colleague

• subscribing to receive future posts

I write about work, systems, and the human side of solving problems.

Subscribe now

After 19+ years working with global teams, I watched hundreds of new graduates enter the workforce.

Some thrived quickly, others struggled despite strong degrees.

Over time, a pattern became clear.

• A brilliant graduate joins a team.

• They arrive with strong university credentials and solid tech knowledge.

Then one of the first real workplace challenges appears.

A problem with no instructions.
A meeting with teammates across four time zones.
A manager asking for an update before the end of the day because delays have financial consequences.

Suddenly, the new hire hesitates.

Academic knowledge still helps in those moments. Yet another set of skills decides whether work moves forward.

Understanding that gap matters for students, educators, and employers.

Most Career Advice Comes From the Classroom

Career readiness conversations often come from three places:

Professors
Career centers
Human resources departments

These voices offer valuable guidance. They help students prepare resumes, practice interviews, and explore career paths.

Another perspective appears less often, which is, the view from inside project teams where work succeeds or fails.

Consulting teams operate differently from classrooms.

Projects involve clients with urgent concerns, teams spread across countries, and deadlines tied to real business outcomes.

Work moves quickly.

When new graduates step into this type of setting, they experience a learning curve that few classrooms can fully simulate.

During my years in IT consulting, I worked on global projects where new graduates joined teams from different parts of the world. I watched talented people navigate their first months in roles where technical ability alone was not enough.

Authority Does Not Always Come From Academia

People ask me a fair question -

“You didn’t go through the U.S. education system. What authority do you have to talk about career readiness here?”

I completed my university education in the Philippines. My perspective comes from observing how work unfolds inside organizations.

I trained new hires.

I saw graduates grow into their roles while others needed time to adjust. I watched managers evaluate performance and teams collaborate across countries.

Those experiences gave me a front-row seat to how work actually moves in large companies.

Academic research helps us understand learning systems. Workplace experience reveals how professionals operate once they step into real teams.

Both perspectives matter.

The workplace view simply appears less often in classroom conversations about career readiness.

The View From Inside Real Projects

Consulting projects make professional behavior very visible.

• When a system fails, customers call support.

• When a deadline approaches, leaders expect updates.

• When clients invest significant budgets, teams must deliver quality results.

In those moments, professional habits become transparent.

Some team members wait for instructions. Others step forward and say:

“Here is the issue. Here is what we checked. Here are two possible next steps.”

The difference comes from habits developed over time -

1. Reliability

2. Communication

3. Professional judgment

4. Ownership of problems

Managers notice these qualities quickly because they help work move forward.

Throughout my time in corporate, the early-career professionals who grew the fastest were those who learned to communicate effectively, ask thoughtful questions, and take responsibility for solving problems.

Technical skills opened the door.

Professional habits built trust.

3-Lenses Behind This Perspective

My view of career readiness comes from three different lenses.

1. Practitioner lens

Years working in Salesforce consulting exposed me to global projects and complex organizations. Those experiences revealed how teams collaborate, how executives make decisions, and how professionals solve Severity 1 problems under pressure (sometimes with only 3 hours of sleep).

2. Career transition lens

Today, my work also includes substitute teaching (focusing on Math), speaking with college students about workplace skills, and advising organizations in the EdTech space. This shift allows me to see both sides of the bridge between school and professional life.

3. Observer lens

After working as “Miss Mae,” the new-hire trainer, I could often tell which batches of fresh graduates adapted quickly and which needed more time.

Some learned to navigate the fast pace of professional work within weeks. Others needed more guidance and high-touch mentorship before they felt confident handling pressure.

These observations do not claim expertise about universities. They simply reflect what happens when graduates step into the workplaces I have been part of.

Why the First Year of Work Feels Overwhelming

The first professional role introduces graduates to a place they may never have experienced.

School follows a structure.

Assignments include instructions.
Professors define evaluation criteria.
Deadlines remain predictable.

Workplaces operate through negotiation.

Priorities change.
Deadlines compress.
Managers request updates while projects are still in build mode.

Graduates must process technical tasks while also learning professional norms.

Researchers who study early career development describe this period as one of intense cognitive load. Young professionals learn how organizations operate while also proving their capabilities.

During those months, many graduates question their confidence. Supportive leadership makes a huge difference during this phase.

The Mental Health Layer Behind Career Readiness

Career readiness discussions often focus on productivity. Mental health receives less attention, yet the first year of work affects emotional well-being.

Graduates move from environments where success felt predictable to environments where evaluation happens regularly.

• Client feedback

• Team expectations

• Sprint retrospectives

• Performance reviews

• 1-on-1 check-ins with managers

All of these moments help how early-career professionals see their own progress.

Psychologist Carol Dweck, known for her work on the growth mindset, offers a helpful perspective.

“Becoming is better than being.”

Early career development involves learning through experience. Organizations encouraging growth rather than perfection create stronger teams.

Harvard professor Amy Edmondson describes psychological safety as an environment where people feel comfortable asking questions and admitting mistakes.

Teams with psychological safety learn faster. Early-career professionals gain confidence more quickly when they feel supported rather than judged.

Curiosity Drives Early Career Growth

Many students believe their first job requires mastery of every task. Reality works differently. Curiosity matters more than perfection. Curious professionals ask thoughtful questions.

They explore unfamiliar systems.
They seek feedback.
They learn continuously.

Albert Einstein captured this attitude well.

“I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.”

Curiosity transforms confusion into learning.

Professionals who ask questions often gain a deeper understanding than those who remain silent. Managers value curiosity because it signals engagement and responsibility.

Why Internships Help (But Do Not Solve Everything)

Internships provide valuable exposure to professional work. Students gain insight into workplace culture and expectations.

Yet internships do not always provide the full picture. Some internships focus on observation rather than responsibility. Students may assist with tasks without experiencing the pressure of ownership.

Full-time roles introduce different expectations.

Clients depend on outcomes.
Deadlines affect business operations.
Managers expect independent judgment.

Those differences create the real learning curve. Internships help prepare students, yet mentorship and reflection remain essential.

The Role of Educators and Employers

Closing the gap between school and work requires collaboration. Educators provide foundational knowledge and critical thinking skills. Employers provide environments where those skills translate into action.

Conversations about workplace expectations help students prepare before graduation. Topics such as communication, decision-making, energy management, and ownership deserve attention alongside academic subjects.

Students benefit when they understand how organizations function. Employers benefit when new hires arrive with stronger professional habits.

The Bridge Between Two Worlds

My work now focuses on connecting these environments.

Some days involve teaching younger students Math. Other days involve speaking about workplace skills or helping organizations improve their internal processes.

These experiences reveal how education and professional life connect.

Students need guides who can translate between those two worlds. Many educators understand learning deeply. Many professionals understand business deeply.

Few people work across both spaces.

Building bridges between them helps students step into their careers with greater confidence.

Question For You

Many readers here run companies, write professionally, or guide younger colleagues.

Looking back at your own early career, what helped you understand how work really operates?

Was it a mentor, a difficult project, a supportive manager, or simply time and practice?

If you could share one insight with someone starting their first job today, what would it be?

Subscribe now

February is…loud!

Hearts in every corner, red paper cutouts in school hallways, pink frosting on everything. It tells you what love should look like.

I want to share what love feels like when the decorations come down.

This is still problem-solving, though it’s about the problems inside a family, the kind you solve with presence, patience, and micro choices made over and over.

I’ve learned that love is not a mood. It’s practice with intention.

Practice solves things.

The Word Problem and the Quadratic

In 2019, I shared this post about helping my son understand a word problem:

First-grade math, and I was all in!

Now in 7th grade, he works on quadratic equations. Time moves fast, his math changes, my role stays.

Of all the titles I have carried (consultant, speaker, trainer, BA, PM, CSM), the one I guard the most is Mom.

I did not monitor every snack nor track every minute of screen time, but chose moments that count -

• sat on the floor when he cried nonstop

• listened when he explained a Fortnite world I did not understand

• fought homesickness when the problem felt bigger than both of us

You cannot outsource presence.

You either give it, or you do not.

Here is what parenting taught me about problem-solving:

1. Most breakdowns are not logic problems. They are nervous system problems.

2. Before you fix the homework sheet, you steady the child first.

3. Before you correct behavior, you build safety first.

You can apply this to work tomorrow too:

1. When a teammate misses a deadline, ask what blocked the work before you point out the delay.

2. When a colleague loses their train of thought in a meeting, ease the tension before offering feedback.

3. When your manager snaps, check for stress before you defend your pride.

Solve the right problem.

Your Last Words

I watched an episode of a series where public figures record interviews that air after they die. It featured Eric Dane, who passed away from ALS. His message to his daughters was simple.

Be present.

Be here.

Embrace the moment in front of you.

Presence.

I asked myself,

If my family were to watch my final words five years from now, what would I want them to hear?

I would want them to say, “She was here, and she paid close attention.”

(…doing my best for this answer to be the guide on how I live today)

• You say family comes first, your calendar tells the truth.

• You say health matters, your sleep habits tell the truth.

• You say connection counts, your phone usage tells the truth.

Love exposes priorities.

If something feels off in your home, do not rush to fix the surface issue. Audit your attention. Where does it go? Who receives the best version of you?

Love, expressed daily, solves more than once-a-year dramatic gestures ever will.

Falling in Love During Grief

I fell in love at a wake in 2011.

When we laid mom to rest, I stood there greeting relatives, and I felt hollow.

My husband was my boyfriend then. “Mae, is he your cousin?” high school friends asked. He moved through the room as if he belonged. He talked to titos and titas easily. He helped without being asked and offered wholehearted support.

Extreme grief tests people, it strips away charm, and reveals steadiness.

I leaned on him then in a way I never had before. I lost my mother, and I needed tender loving care. He stepped in.

A year later, during a tough mental health crisis, he did the same.

Then in 2014, when I started working in Manhattan, he stayed in our 1-bedroom apartment in Queens with our then one-year-old.

Our son, now 12, writes about having a great childhood (I see it in his Language Arts papers!). He says he grew up in a fun, loving home, and that’s priceless!

Here is what marriage taught me about problem-solving:

1. You learn who a person is during stress, not only during celebration.

2. Love is not intensity. Rather, love is reliability.

3. Shared hardship builds trust faster than shared hobbies or possessions.

If your relationship feels fragile -

• Protect each other’s energy.

• Speak with respect during conflict.

• Consistency solves what chemistry cannot.

The Jealous Girl at the University of the Philippines (UP)

At 17-19, I walked through UP campus every February and watched girls carry balloons and flowers. I felt jealous. I wanted visible proof that someone chose me.

Years passed.

One day this month, I told my son I missed when his teachers helped him prepare Valentine cards for me. I missed the glitter and construction paper.

Then I remembered something from Nicole LePera’s book:

Practice love in micro ways.

Here is how I practice now:

1. I give myself what I used to wait for others to give.

2. I block quiet time on my calendar and treat it as sacred.

3. I say no to invitations that drain me.

4. I notice love already present.

When I lost my voice last week, I thought of Mama and her soothing tone. I felt cared for through memory. Love does not disappear when a person dies.

I let love evolve.

I do not love myself the way I did at 17. Back then, I chased approval. Now I protect peace. Growth changes how you love.

Here is the problem February creates.

—> It markets love as spectacle.

—> You compare your real life to curated displays. You feel behind.

But, you’re not. You’re living.

If envy creeps in, treat it as a signal. Ask what you believe love looks like. Question the belief. Replace it with something you can practice daily.

Solve the belief, not the holiday.

Co-Regulation Is a Skill

Most couples fight over bills, schedules, or tone, and I get it.

Underneath sits regulation, two nervous systems in a room.

You can learn to steady each other. Do this tonight:

1. Sit across from your loved one. Smile. Hold eye contact for thirty seconds. It will feel awkward. Stay.

2. Breathe together. Inhale at the same pace. Exhale at the same pace.

3. Stroke your partner’s hair. Feel your own body slow down.

4. Hug long enough (20+ seconds feels really good!) for your shoulders to drop.

5. Walk side by side and match steps. Let conversation take a back seat to rhythm.

These small actions calm the body. You solve conflicts faster when both people feel safe.

At work, the same rule applies.

• A regulated executive makes better decisions.

• A regulated manager corrects without shaming.

• A regulated teammate listens without defensiveness.

Learn to regulate yourself. Then offer steadiness to the people you love.

That is advanced problem-solving.

Love as a System

You know I cannot resist a system.

Here is mine for love.

1. Attention —> means you notice

2. Reliability —> means you follow through

3. Repair —> means you fix what you break

Every strong relationship runs on these three.

• Missed a soccer game? Repair.

• Snapped during a snowstorm stress? Repair.

• Forgot a promise? Repair.

Do not hide behind pride, own your impact, apologize.

When attention drops, resentment grows. When reliability drops, trust erodes. When repair drops, distance expands.

If your home feels tense, audit these three. Which one needs extra work?

Solve there.

What You Can Do Before The Month Ends

You do not need flowers to practice love (though a bouquet of tulips doesn’t hurt either).

Tonight, put your phone in another room during dinner. Ask your partner about their day and listen without fixing. Tell your child a specific thing you admire about their effort, not their outcome. Book the doctor appointment you keep delaying. Send a text or an email to your mentor thanking them for one concrete action.

Love thrives in details.

You solve disconnection through repeated small actions.

For You

If your family watched your final words in ten years, what would you want them to hear? Are you living in a way that supports that message today?

Love is not abstract.

It lives in calendars, tone of voice, shared dinners, and 20-second hugs.

I built a career on solving business problems. The hardest and most meaningful problems sit at home.

• How do we raise a good child?

• How do we connect during grief?

• How do we love through growth, through struggles, through change?

You solve those through presence, reliability, and repair. February ends soon. The hearts will disappear from store shelves. Your family will remain.

Choose the problem worth solving.

If this resonated, share with someone who steadied you during a hard season. Love grows where you invest presence.

Solve there.

Subscribe now

I’m not 100% sold on the advice “think critically.”

On its own, it’s incomplete when leaders don’t explain how decisions work.

Critical thinking matters. I teach it. I stand by it. I’ve built talks around it for college students getting ready for their first jobs.

Critical thinking helps people understand information, question assumptions, weigh options, and make decisions. It’s one of the few skills technology can not replace. People still outperform tools when situations don’t come with tidy rules.

The trouble starts when leaders use the phrase as a shortcut instead of a guide.

Where Work Breaks Down for New Hires

This problem becomes obvious at work, especially for early-career analysts, support agents, and associates who take responsibility seriously.

Strong thinkers slow down when decision lines stay invisible. They look for cues, think through consequences, and protect the work in teams that never explain how choices get made.

I saw this happen when I worked as a New Hire Trainer.

Our team trained analysts, developers, and early-career professionals who came prepared and engaged. They learned systems quickly. They understood workflows. They asked good questions and cared about doing the work well.

They were rockstars.

Then, decision moments arrived.

• An analyst asked whether to fix an issue or escalate it.

• A support agent paused before replying to a customer, even with the steps memorized.

• A new hire reread a handoff document, despite having approval to move forward.

Nothing about their skill level changed. The setup around them did.

Judgment Needs Teaching

Workplaces talk a lot about judgment. Few explain how people develop it.

A lot of managers treat judgment like something people either have or don’t. They assume analysts and associates already know how decisions work on that team. They skip the part where judgment grows through shared examples and open conversations.

Bruce Tulgan names this problem in Bridging the Soft Skills Gap.

Tulgan explains that most performance issues don’t come from laziness or poor attitude. They come from expectations leaders keep in their heads instead of putting into words. Managers know which calls need approval, which risks matter, and which tradeoffs the team accepts. New hires do not (yet).

Every workplace runs on unwritten rules.

Leads decide which calls stay with the team and which ones move up. Managers decide what level of risk is okay. Teams build habits around speed, tone, and ownership.

When leaders leave those rules unspoken, new hires guess. Guessing slows work and chips away at confidence.

What Helps People Move Forward

Confidence grew fastest when team leads talked through decisions out loud.

A lead said, “You own this call.”
Another said, “Bring this to me before sending.”
A supervisor said, “Loop me in when this sign appears.”

Once those lines were visible, work moved forward with ease.

Tulgan calls this structure before autonomy.

Many managers push people to act independently without explaining where the guardrails are. They praise initiative, then question decisions that cross lines they never pointed out.

Structure supports thinking. It does not replace it.

When people know the limits, they spend less energy worrying and more energy solving problems.

How Critical Thinking Works in Real Life

Critical thinking includes understanding data, weighing evidence, judging options, and drawing conclusions. Research shows these skills predict job performance better than tool knowledge alone.

People outperform automated systems when problems lack fixed rules because they adjust goals, make judgment calls, and find new ways forward.

AI works best when rules stay the same. People work best when situations change.

Work lives somewhere in between.

Deadlines exist. Risk limits exist. Approval paths exist. Leaders weaken critical thinking when they refuse to explain those limits.

Professionalism Gets Learned on the Job

Leaders often tell new hires to “be professional” without explaining what that looks like on their team.

When leaders leave those ideas fuzzy, hesitation follows.

Most early-career professionals want to contribute. They want to handle responsibility well. Slowing down often reflects care in systems that never explain the cost of getting a call wrong.

That care deserves respect.

What Good Leaders Do Differently

Good leadership does not rely on personality. It relies on making work easier to understand.

I watched new hires change the moment leaders did that. They did not become different people, nor gain confidence overnight.

Once they knew which calls they owned and which ones needed support, they moved forward with ease. They focused on the work instead of worrying about stepping out of bounds.

Nothing about them changed. The setup did.

When an analyst hesitates, when a support agent double-checks, or when a new hire asks, “Is this okay?”, the behavior points back to the system.

Leadership lives in what you explain, what you repeat, and what you make safe to decide.

Your Turn

I spend a lot of time coaching early-career professionals on this exact stuff. Most conversations focus on real situations and making the unwritten parts of work easier to see.

If you’re figuring things out right now and want to talk, you’re welcome to grab time on my calendar. I’d love to meet you and hear what you’re working through.

Subscribe now

After the recent webinar sessions I conducted for Queens College and University of the Philippines (UP) students, I took time to read through the feedback they shared. I wanted to see what they carried with them and what felt useful after they returned to classes, internships, and everyday life.

What I read gave me a clearer picture of what students are navigating as they move from college into work.

Here are seven things that stood out.

1. Mental health in daily life

Many students wrote about mental health, not as a concept, but as something they manage throughout the day.

• Stress affects how they think.

• Pressure changes how they communicate.

• Fatigue makes simple tasks feel more complex than expected.

Some shared how stepping outside helps them reset. Others wrote about journaling or writing things down to clear their head. One student mentioned how easy it is to scroll past resources that could help them feel steadier. That felt familiar because many of us do the same thing.

Students were not asking for a perfect balance. They were looking for ways to function better without burning out. That tells me they already understand something important: work depends on capacity, not only effort.

When your mind feels scattered or overwhelmed, even no-brainer tasks take longer. When your mental health feels supported, decision-making becomes clearer.

That awareness shows 100% maturity.

2. Communication feels harder than students expected

Another theme that came up often was communication.

Students shared how to speak to coworkers, ask questions, and listen to what clients or teammates need. One student pointed out that being quiet always felt like a disadvantage, and the session helped them see listening as a strength.

In many workplaces, the people who listen well carry the most context.

• They understand why decisions happen.

• They notice patterns early.

• They help prevent issues before they escalate.

Active listening is a superpower, more often than speaking, even if it does not get the same attention.

Students do not need to become louder versions of themselves. They need to understand how their natural tendencies can support rather than undermine the work.

3. School skills make more sense when students reframe them

Several students wrote about finally seeing how what they do in school connects to real work. That realization does not always come naturally, especially when school feels disconnected from the roles people talk about online.

They shared how taking notes is an essential skill. Asking for background helps them do better work. Paying attention to how people explain things teaches them how decisions are made. Observing before jumping in gives them context that they do not get from instructions alone.

These habits do not sound impressive on paper, but they make collaboration smoother. They reduce mistakes. They help teams trust you faster. Once students see this, they stop feeling like they are starting from zero.

The gap between school and work shrinks when students recognize that they already practice behaviors that make them shine.

“You know more than you know” and “Trust your brilliance”

I wanted students to see that they already bring more to the table than they realize, and that trusting their own thinking is part of doing good work.

4. Mindset becomes useful when it shows up in real situations

Mindset came up often, but not in a motivational way.

Students talked about self-doubt and fear of failure. They shared how easy it is to feel behind when others seem confident or more prepared. Some wrote that hearing real stories about figuring things out made the transition feel less intimidating and more manageable.

One student said they realized that introducing yourself does not have to feel like performing. When people treat every interaction like an audition, they tighten up. They listen less. They focus on how they appear instead of what they are learning.

Mindset shows up in small choices. It shows up in whether you ask a question or stay quiet. It shows up in how you respond to feedback, how you recover from mistakes, and how you talk to yourself after a hard day. Students do not need constant confidence to move forward. They need a way to keep going when doubt shows up.

That alone can change how someone enters the working world.

5. Experience feels like the biggest source of anxiety

Some of the most direct feedback came in the form of questions.

What do you do when you do not have experience yet?
How do you get training if no one hires you?
How do you know you are on the right path?

These questions do not disappear after graduation. They follow people into internships, first jobs, and career changes. Naming them helps turn confusion into something workable.

Students are not afraid of effort. They are afraid of getting stuck. They want to know how to build momentum when they do not have a clear starting point. That concern makes sense in a job market that often emphasizes experience without explaining how to get it.

What students need here is not reassurance. They need strategy, patience, and examples of how others learned while doing the work.

6. Feeling encouraged matters more than feeling informed

Many found the session relatable. Some appreciated the honesty. Others said my personal stories helped them picture what work looks like beyond job descriptions. Several said they felt encouraged instead of overwhelmed.

Encouragement is not hype. When people understand what is expected and what is possible, they move with more self-assurance, even when there are several unknowns on the path ahead.

Information alone does not reduce anxiety, understanding does.

7. The transition feels easier when it feels human

My goal when I shared my material was never to impress anyone or overload them with advice. I wanted the transition from college to career to feel more human and less confusing.

This is also what Meant to Solve is created for. It’s about -

• learning how to think through problems (instead of panicking!)

• learning how to ask better questions

• learning how to manage your energy and attention while you figure things out in real time.

Work will always be messy, systems break, and tools change. People misunderstand each other. What carries you through is not certainty, but the ability to adapt without losing yourself.

Reading the feedback from both Queens College and UP students reminded me why I keep saying yes to these conversations. The work is not finished. It keeps unfolding, for students and for me.

If you are early in your career or remember that season, remind yourself that you’re learning. All. The. Time.

Let me ask you this -
What’s a past job or role you still appreciate for what it gave you?

If this resonated, tag someone navigating that in-between stage right now, or leave a note (I read them all).

Subscribe now

I’ve been thinking about my fresh-from-college self a lot lately.

The version of me who worked hard to finish a B.S. in Math so I could start earning and help my family financially. The one who did not yet understand how confusing the corporate world could feel when you’re stepping into it for the first time.

School is structured. Life after graduation is not.

In school, you follow the syllabus. You know what is expected, you know what you need to submit, and you know how you will be evaluated.

At work, you follow people, systems, unspoken rules, and deadlines. You learn the expectations along the way, through feedback, and sometimes through silence that feels loud.

If I could go back and sit beside younger Mae, I would not overwhelm her with advice. I would hold her hand and tell her I’m going to give her a guide, because I care about her success, her confidence, and her peace of mind.

I believe we are meant to solve our problems, not alone, not perfectly. We solve them with structure and with someone willing to teach.

I have always been an educator at heart. It’s how I show care. When I share tools and lessons, I want to make someone’s life a bit easier because I know how it felt to work hard and still feel unsure.

The real transition is internal

It’s from “I need someone to tell me what to do”…

to “I can figure things out.”

Your first job will challenge you in ways school never did. You will have days when you second-guess everything you say, when you send a message and replay it in your head afterward, or when everyone speaks in acronyms, and you feel like you need a translator to keep up.

That experience does not mean you are weak. It means you are learning. It means you are new in an environment that does not slow down for beginners.

Give yourself room to adjust. Take 7 deep breaths.

I used to think professionalism meant being “serious.”

When I was younger, I thought professionalism meant having the right outfit, the right tone, and the right voice. I thought I needed to sound like someone who already had it all together.

What I know now is that professionalism is simpler than that.

Professionalism is being prepared.

It is being present with effort already done. It is having a few questions written down. It is understanding enough context to follow the conversation. It is about listening closely rather than impressing people with empty words.

Preparation builds reliability → Being reliable builds trust → Trust creates opportunity.

The notebook is not old-school. It’s your external brain.

It sounds basic, but this is one of the most practical habits you can build. When you are new, your brain is doing too much. You are learning a new environment, new tools, new processes, and new people, all at once.

There will be days when the process is unclear, and the team moves fast. People will assume you already know things. When you write things down, you stop holding everything inside your head. You begin to notice patterns. You remember details. You become the person who follows through.

Trust is the real currency at work, and a handy notebook helps in earning it.

Your first 90 days can be calmer…

One of the most stressful lies we tell new professionals is that they need to prove themselves immediately. I understand why people believe this, but I have seen it create burnout.

A more grounded approach is to treat your first 90 days like a ramp-up.

• In the first month, you observe and absorb.

• In the second month, you start contributing.

• In the third month, you own something visible.

The corporate world loves clear communicators

You can be brilliant and still struggle at work. It is because work is not only intelligence. Work is coordination.

People need to understand your updates, requests, timelines, or blockers. When you communicate clearly, you save the team time and reduce your stress.

Even something as simple as writing better emails can change how people perceive you.

If you want one habit that will instantly make you stand out, be specific when you ask for help.

AI can summarize, but humans connect

Everyone is thinking about AI and what it means for the future of work. People wonder which skills still matter.

The people who grow in the long run are those who can collaborate, listen deeply, and bring calm energy to messy situations.

They do not need to have the loudest voice in the room. They earn respect through steadiness, curiosity, and follow-through.

That is leadership, even if you do not have a manager title.

Structure is one of the most underrated forms of self-care

I built my career with documents most people ignore. I did it because messy work steals energy, makes people anxious, and creates avoidable conflict.

Structure protects you.

As a Business Analyst, I leaned on two core artifacts: the BRD (Business Requirements Document) and the RTM (Requirements Traceability Matrix).

As a Project Manager, two documents kept projects from collapsing: the SOW (Statement of Work) and the Project Plan.

These documents help everyone breathe. They show what is agreed upon. They show what is being built. They show what success looks like.

And when people ask, “Where are we with this?” you have something solid to point to.

Global work taught me how to lead with humanity

Some of the best lessons in my career did not come from tasks. They came from working with people across time zones, cultures, and communication styles.

Global leadership makes communication easy, makes progress visible, and makes people feel valued.

A team can be talented and still fall apart if people feel unseen.

Consistency, recognition, and simple communication routines keep a team together longer than any motivational speech ever will.

Mental wellness is part of being high-performing

I used to think I needed to separate my personal life from my professional life. I thought it was more “mature” to keep everything private and push through.

Now I see it differently.

You can be ambitious and still protect your mental health. You can care about your career and still care for your nervous system.

This is why having a mental health first-aid kit is important. Mine includes a pen and notebook, coloring books, essential oils, music, snacks, and a walk outside when I need to reset.

A career is a long game, and I want you to stay in the game without losing the best parts of yourself.

If I could say one thing to my younger self…

Trust your brilliance.

Keep building. Keep learning. Keep asking questions. Keep writing things down. Keep choosing environments where people support you and want you to win.

You are not meant to solve life alone.

You are meant to solve life with guidance, support, and a steady belief that you can handle more than you think.

Your turn

If you’re in a new season right now, I want to hear from you.

What part feels hardest?

Is it confidence, communication, fear of messing up, or knowing where to start?

And if someone you love is entering a new chapter, share this with them.

Some people do not need more pressure. They need a guide.

And they need someone to remind them they’re not behind.

Subscribe now

Problems don’t get solved on the spot.

Well, except for math exercises.

If you’ve done the same type of word problem 47 times, your brain will know what to do. That’s how my son learned math the Kumon way—repetition first, confidence later. We built the foundations before speed.

Life doesn’t work like that, though.

Solving real-world problems needs several sessions, quieting down, focusing, and reaching out for help.

They’re emotional, plus, tied to other people. They don’t come with clear formulas. You don’t “solve” them in one go.

You sit down.
You look at what’s given.
You name the variables.
You do something.
Then, you adjust.

There are times when you circle the same problem for years before you have an AHA moment.

From 2015 to 2025, these are eight problems I’ve had to figure out - slowly, imperfectly, and with tons of help.

I’m sharing them because there’s a good chance you’re working through one of these too.

1. Learning how to be “new” again

The problem: Starting over in a new country doesn’t feel like a fresh start. It feels like being a beginner at life.

I still remember those nights when I couldn’t sleep because everything felt unfamiliar - new rules, new ways of talking, new neighborhood. Some days I’d think, “Did I make a huge mistake?”

What I did:

• I stopped pretending I was “fine.” I named the real issue: I was new.

• I found places to build wins. Created a daily routine, went to one grocery store, smiled at one neighbor at the elevator, and took my laptop to one coffee shop

• I collected proof I was adjusting. What got easier this week, and what experiences will I be up to next week?

If you’re starting over right now, in your career, community, or in a new country - embrace the new-ness and remember that you’ll get used to it in time.

2. Dealing with intense emotions

The problem: Homesickness hits even when you’re grateful.

You can be grateful and still ache. You can be building something new and still miss people deeply.

Homesickness showed up as random sadness, guilt for leaving, and a constant comparison between “there” and “here.”

What I did:

• I stopped asking myself to “get over it.” I treated it like the weather (it arrives, then it passes)

• I created a “homesick routine.” When the feeling hit, I did the same 3 things:

  • take a short walk

  • message a loved one back home

  • do a task that made my current life feel stable (organize office, snack prep, color mandalas)

Some days, I stayed busy because my son needed a million things from me. And honestly, that helped! Other days, I let myself cry and move through it.

3. Managing my mental health

The problem: Your mind can turn normal life into a heavy life.

I’ve had seasons where my brain wasn’t a safe place to live in. I’ve learned how to manage my mental health well enough that I’m currently medication-free, which also means fewer expenses and fewer appointments.

But with this -

I believe in therapy, I believe in CBT, and I believe in professional help when problems become complicated again.

What I did:

• I tracked patterns. I looked for triggers: sleep shifts, overstimulation, excessive noise, and a lack of structure.

• I protected the basics (like my life depended on it!). Sleep, food, movement, sunlight. That sounds simple because it is.

• I built a “when I feel off” checklist.

  • Did I sleep enough the last 3 nights?

  • Have I eaten healthy food today?

  • Who have I talked to this week?

  • Did I move my body?

  • What am I avoiding?

• I kept professional support as an option. For me, therapy is not a last resort; it is a tool (same with medication).

Mental health is a system you maintain like a CRM that you’d need to optimize regularly.

If you’re in the middle of this right now, make sure you have a checklist you can follow on a bad day.

4. Being a Customer Success Manager (for clients)

The problem: Clients expect quality work, momentum, and transparency from someone they can completely trust.

Client work taught me how to think in systems.

I learned fast that doing the tasks was never enough. If I waited for problems to explode, everyone suffered.

What I did:

• I ran governance calls. They had the same agenda, cadence, and expectations.

• I named risks. “Here are the two builds we need to focus on; otherwise, the project will be delayed by 6 weeks.”

• I translated what the client said into what they meant. Often, the “request” was a symptom. The real need was adoption, training, process awareness, or stakeholder alignment.

If your work involves people, your job is rarely “delivery.” It’s leadership through communication.

Write a quick note with only three bullets:

1. what we know

2. what we don’t know

3. what decision we need

Watch how your client trusts you even more.

5. Being a Customer Success Manager (for my team)

The problem: Global delivery can turn into silent burnout if nobody protects people.

Most of my teammates were based in the Philippines. I was their US counterpart. I had young-mom teammates working night shifts. There was a call where I had to push for overlap instead of exhaustion. I wasn’t asking for “less work.” I was asking for a better setup so quality could stay high without wrecking their lives.

What I did:

• I brought evidence. I showed what could be delivered with fewer overlap hours and what needed live time.

• I proposed a realistic plan. Clear overlap blocks + async handoffs + documented decisions.

• I made quality the shared goal. Clients listen when the argument is quality + sustainability

We reached a compromise that the client agreed to. My teammates got to take their kids to checkups and attend school events while still delivering strong results.

If you lead people, fight for a system that lets them do quality work without breaking.

6. Parenting an elementary school kid (and being present while working)

The problem: Kids don’t always ask for help in a neat way. Sometimes they shut down.

When my son was 6 years old, he’d come to me during a call and ask for a hug. I had to figure out how to be a working mom who doesn’t treat her child like an interruption.

On the school side, I also saw how quickly a small confusion can turn into “I’m bad at this.” Especially in math. So I made myself available to be his personal tutor.

What I did:

• I built a daily “check-in.” 3PM, I stop working and transition to mom-mode. One time, a client had to text me for an update since she knew I stepped away from Teams.

• For math, I didn’t re-teach the whole lesson. I found the exact point of confusion, then we did 3–5 examples together.

• I made repetition normal. That’s the Kumon idea - do it enough times until it becomes so easy and familiar.

Now he’s thriving in Middle School, doing Algebra (and way faster than me in mental math). And I keep reminding him - I didn’t even have middle school growing up. In the Philippines, it was elementary school straight to high school at 13. Different systems, same need for support.

If you’re parenting and working, here’s a warm, tight hug! We’re not perfect, but we got this!

7. Buying our first home in the US

The problem: Big life purchases are emotional and technical at the same time.

This problem tested patience more than intelligence.

We went back and forth so many times. So much paperwork, requirements, and decisions that felt huge. We had a great real estate agent who eventually became a friend, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that relationship helped us stay steady.

After ten years in an apartment, we moved into a house.

What I did:

• separated “must-have” from “nice-to-have.” Not a long list. Just the top 5 must-haves.

• I created a folder system for paperwork. Everything in one place so that there’s no scrambling all over the place.

• I made decisions with deadlines. So I did not feel like I had infinite time.

If you’re in a big decision season, stop asking “What’s the best choice?” Ask “What choice can we sustain?”

8. Figuring out how I want to spend this life

This took the longest.

The problem: You can be good at many things and still feel misused.

I’ve had different roles, different definitions of success, and different versions of “enough.” And every time I got quiet and honest, the same answer kept coming back:

I’m happiest when I’m teaching, training, coaching, or mentoring. I love helping someone understand something they once thought was impossible.

That’s the work I choose now.

What I did:

• I tracked what gave me energy. Not what looked impressive. What made me feel alive.

• I noticed what people already come to me for. Structure. Coaching. Problem-solving.

• I started doing more of it in micro ways first. One session, one workshop, one lesson, one piece of writing.

If you feel overwhelmed or stuck, start with evidence.

For 7 days, write:

• what drained you

• what energized you

• what you did that helped someone

Your next life phase is in the pattern.

I didn’t solve these problems alone.

I talked things through, asked for help from friends, ex-colleagues, and family. I changed direction, and I gave myself unstructured time to think deeply.

If you’re sitting with a problem that feels too tangled, you don’t need the answer today. You need that soft, steady voice reminding you, this is figure-out-able.

So let me ask -

Which problem are you working on right now?

Reply and tell me what steps you’ve taken and what area is still blurry. I’d love to help and think it through with you.

Subscribe now

I recently received the U.S. credential evaluation of my education from the University of the Philippines (U.P.).

On paper, it’s a technical document—credits, grade conversions, and a calculated GPA.

But reading it taught me how rigor, context, and translation determine how people are assessed—and how easily we forget that when we reduce someone to a number.

Not judging, only translating

Before I opened the report, I realized I was carrying an assumption many internationally educated professionals carry, even if we don’t say it out loud: How would the education I received back home be viewed here in the U.S.?

What the evaluation did was much simpler and much more respectful.

It confirmed that the University of the Philippines is equivalent to U.S. regional academic accreditation. That’s important and reassuring to know U.P. is recognized and respected here.

From there, the evaluator translated my coursework into U.S. terms. Philippine numerical grades became U.S. letter grades. Credits were converted into U.S. semester units. A GPA was calculated using U.S. standards.

There was no attempt to reframe my past or smooth out my story. The evaluator simply read what was there and explained it clearly in a different system.

This table was my AHA moment!

What made everything click was seeing the conversion laid out.

This didn’t inflate anything or take points away. Seeing it presented this way helped me understand that the numbers weren’t being softened or penalized. They were simply translated.

Looking at the conversion logic made me pause. Back home, an Uno (1.00) is incredibly hard—much harder than a 1.25 or 1.50. In the U.S. evaluation, all three grades were considered As.

That’s when it clicked for me. I spent countless nights pushing myself toward a 1.00, when in this system, my 1.25 and 1.50 already reflected A-level work.

Realizing that made me kinder to my past self and more aware of how differently effort gets measured and recognized, depending on the system.

The numbers were not the story

The grading culture in our country is different. An Uno is exceptional. Passing is hard-earned. Engineering and math courses don’t hand out easy wins.

When you look at grades without knowing how demanding the courses were, or what someone was carrying at the time, you miss the real picture. That context changes everything.

My transcript showed two phases.

(1) The early years were grounded in engineering and mathematics—heavy subjects, steep expectations, and a lot of adjustment.

(2) The later years focused on completing a Bachelor of Science in Mathematics with more consistency and direction.

I used to feel embarrassed sharing that I transferred campuses, shifted from Engineering to BS Math, and took a full gap year. Now, I see it differently. Those pauses and shifts help humanize the numbers and dates on the transcript.

They allowed me to explain what really happened—burnout, the need to step back, and the support I received from my family back home, both moral and financial. They also show persistence. I paused, but I didn’t quit. I still earned the diploma.

And evaluators understand that, even when we’re tempted to be harder on ourselves.

Why I needed this credential in the first place

Part of why this evaluation mattered to me is personal and straightforward. I’m taking small, intentional steps toward a lifelong dream of becoming a Math teacher.

I’m not walking away from everything else I do. I’m still a consultant, a mentor, and a professional who works across systems, people, and ideas. That hasn’t changed.

What has changed is my willingness to stop postponing a lifelong dream, a dream that would honor the legacy of my late elementary-school teacher, Mom.

I’ve embraced that dreams don’t require dramatic exits. They ask for honest next steps.

Getting this credential won’t close doors; instead, I’m opening one carefully, with excitement rather than fear.

What education programs look for

Another realization surprised me as I read the report more closely.

For education and training programs, GPA alone is rarely the deciding factor. They care about these 4 things:

1. Can you explain ideas clearly? I believe I can—my Math tutee at home (aka my middle schooler) seems to think so too.

2. Can you manage a learning space? Years of new-hire training and leading global teams give me confidence here.

3. Can you connect with students? The same way I’ve always prioritized 1:1s with teammates, this part genuinely excites me.

4. Can you reflect, adjust, and grow? As a lifelong learner, this is not optional for me.

When I looked at my transcript through that lens, I didn’t see something I needed to defend.

My academic record clearly reflects a “real person” who kept going, had a gap year, shifted courses, and so on.

This is how I’ve learned to work across systems

What stayed with me most was not the GPA. It was the process.

The evaluator didn’t try to change my background. They worked to understand it, respect its standards, and explain it clearly within a new system.

That felt familiar.

I often work with people who use different rules, different definitions of “good,” and different ways of deciding what success looks like.

Over time, I’ve learned that the most helpful thing I can do in those moments is slow down, understand the system in front of me, and help make it easier to work with.

This evaluation reminded me that I didn’t learn that by accident. I’ve been navigating translation—academic, cultural, technical—for most of my life.

The confidence this gave me

This report validated my education.

It reminded me that I come from a respected institution, that my training was rigorous, and that my record reflects real effort over time, not a polished highlight reel.

More than anything, it reinforced something I already believe. Credibility is being consistent, having the ability to make sense of complexity without flattening it.

That’s the standard I hold for myself.

And it’s how I show up, whether I’m teaching, coaching, consulting, or learning something new myself.

For You

I’m sharing this because 2026 feels like a year that asks us to be more honest with ourselves.

To not mislive our lives.
To not misspend our youth.
To stop delaying the things that matter just because the path isn’t linear or perfectly timed.

If you’ve been sitting with a quiet “what if,” or holding back because you think your background needs to look cleaner before you take the next step, this is your reminder to go deeper.

If this resonated, I invite you to stay. Reflect with me. Then, take the next intentional step toward the life and work you truthfully want, not the one you think you’re supposed to settle for.

We’re allowed to grow, explore, and have fun—without erasing who we’ve been.

Subscribe now

The holidays ask more than we expect.

When the season starts to feel overloaded, it’s often because memory is closer, quiet is harder to ignore, and rushing no longer works the way it used to.

Every day turns into a mental checklist that never shuts off. Who are we meeting for get-togethers? Are the gifts done? How much knowledge transfer does my teammate need before I handover a task? Even rest feels like something we need to schedule.

Then the cold settles in. Your body feels it before your brain has a chance to catch up.

If that sounds familiar, it’s okay to stop arguing with the feeling. What helps is not doing more or organizing better. It’s paying attention to ordinary moments, reminding you of what matters the most.

I didn’t realize how much I was carrying until something ordinary slowed me down.

A Simple Errand

The other day, we went to the library to apply for our U.S. passports. One of those errands you expect to finish in fifteen minutes and forget about by dinner.

The librarian helping us mentioned he was half-Filipino (his mom was Filipina). That detail opened to an easy, friendly, unspoken understanding. Immigrant stories don’t need long explanations. You feel it right away.

As we talked, he shared his mom passed away from cancer when he was 13 years old. Years later, he was finally able to visit her resting place in the Philippines, spend time with her siblings, learn Bisaya, and travel through places that helped him feel closer to her.

Then he said, if his mom had lived long enough to retire, she would have chosen her land back home, surrounded by fruit trees and orchids growing this time of year.

Listening to him talk about his mom made me think of Pasko in the Philippines and my festive hometown. Made me miss Mama, too.

Missing Without Falling Apart

December has a way of bringing people to mind.

Maybe it’s a parent, a sibling, a friend, or a version of life that feels far away now. Distance doesn’t always arrive as sadness. Then December shows up and gives childhood memories more mental space.

Here’s the part that surprised me, and maybe it will surprise you, too.

You can miss someone and still be okay.

You can feel the absence without letting it take over your day.

That’s healing.

Learning this didn’t come from a big breakthrough. It came from regular days, like early mornings before anyone else was awake, walks to clear a cluttered mind, and evenings spent doing kitchen chores.

Over time, quiet stops feeling empty. You embrace it as a place to gather more strength and power.

Being Alone Without Feeling Lonely

You’re calmer when you’re alone. That doesn’t mean you’re lonely. It means you’re learning to trust yourself and enjoy your own company.

And even when you’re physically alone, you’re not unsupported. There’s often a sense of guidance, even if you can’t explain where it comes from. It can be spiritual. It can feel like intuition. Or it’s simply the belief that you don’t have to figure everything out yet.

When you forget that, you rush, and you overthink. You carry more than you need to. When you remember it, life feels smooth and steady again.

That kind of steadiness changes what you notice.

Living a Dream I Once Imagined

I live in northern New Jersey now, and a few days ago we had ten inches of snow.

I think about five-year-old me in the tropics, dreaming about winter and snow like it was something out of a movie. Somehow, that little girl got what she dreamed of.

You might have a version of that, too. Something you once wished for that’s now part of your everyday life.

It’s easy to overlook it once it becomes normal. Pause for a second and notice it. I decorate my own home now. I still pause when I say that.

My. Own. Home.

Happiness shows up like this now. Unimpressive to anyone else, but deeply mine. Responsibility comes with it. So does gratitude.

Both can exist at the same time.

Love, Memory, and Choosing Gently

Noticing what you have also changes how you show up in relationships.

Relationships have a way of stretching you. They ask for patience. They ask you to choose understanding even when it would be easier not to.

Old memories sometimes surface, especially during the holidays. Not to pull you back, but to remind you how far you’ve come.

In 2016, on Christmas Eve, I spent the night in a hospital, away from my young son. That memory still visits sometimes, mainly when triggered by conversations or reminders.

Even though it doesn’t define me anymore, it reminds me why presence matters so much now.

Because of that, I’m more intentional about what I protect.

Reflect

You get to choose environments and relationships that feel safe. When that choice comes from self-love, it doesn’t feel defensive. It feels peaceful.

At some point, you stop proving anything to anybody.

Reflection helps with that. It clears space. It loosens old thought patterns and makes room for better ones.

When Distance Is Care

In most instances, care looks like closeness. In other moments, it looks like space.

Both can come from love.

Protecting your energy allows you to function where you’re needed most. Sometimes that looks like a quiet Saturday, a full night of uninterrupted sleep, or whatever helps you return to yourself.

Let Healing Lead

All of this adds up.

When the body finds ease, the mind makes sense again.

Ideas come more easily. Decisions don’t feel as heavy. Life feels less like something to push through and more like something to move with.

If you’re reading this during the holidays, here’s what I want you to know.

You’re handling more than you give yourself credit for.

And in seasons that feel overloaded, I hope you return to moments of healing, to quiet goodness, and to the steady practice of taking your time.

Subscribe now

Leaders are not born.

Lesson by lesson, they are made. Most lessons are not even from textbooks but from a life well lived.

Growing up, I thought leaders were the most intelligent people in the room.
Now I know better.

They’re the ones who never stop learning, especially about themselves -

• their blind spots

• their strengths

• their patterns

• their values

This book reminded me why those things matter.

And these seven voices stayed with me long after I returned the book to the library.

1. James M. Kouzes - Teach to Learn

Kouzes says the moment you’re asked to teach, you level up.
You think differently.
You prepare differently.
You pay attention differently, because you know you’ll be “live.”

I felt that when I was asked to lead New Hire Training in the Philippines.

Fresh graduates.
Five days.
Their first real window into the tech world.

I spent weeks building training materials, something that wouldn't overwhelm them but would still get them ready for real projects.

We had icebreakers to loosen the energy.
Daily takeaways.
Homework.
A dry run with my team to make sure the flow made sense.

It was like I was back in school, but this time I was the one holding the whiteboard marker.

Teaching forces deep knowledge.
And nothing makes you learn faster.

2. Homa Bahrami - Lead With E-Cubed (Empathy, Energy, Expertise)

Bahrami talks about her three building blocks -
(1) Empathy, as in honoring uniqueness,

(2) sharing Energy and enthusiasm for the subject you love,

(3) and being a true Expert

My 63-year-old ESL student from Colombia reminded me of this the very first week.

My first instinct was to build a curriculum on writing and grammar. But she already mastered the theory. So I shifted into pronunciation, speaking exercises, and active listening - the real-life things she needed.

Adjust to the learner, not the lesson.
Empathy in action.

Bahrami also reminds us

• Expertise includes knowing your limits.

• Say “I don’t know” when that’s the truth. People trust you more when you do.

And what I’ve learned myself -

You can’t teach others unless you know who you are and what makes you stand out.

3. Jay Conger - Do What Feeds You

Conger believes the most meaningful days are the ones filled with what’s intrinsically rewarding. So, live well today -

not a year from now

not at 65

not when “things slow down”

When the opportunity came for me to step outside corporate life, I grabbed it.
Now, I choose work that feeds me, people who energize me, and projects that feel right with who I am becoming.

And it changed me in the best way. 

When you do what feeds you, people feel it.

Your joy becomes contagious.

That becomes your legacy -
the way people feel when they think of you.

4. Spencer Johnson - Tell Yourself the Truth

Johnson shared, life gets easier when you stop ignoring the truth.

My truth that’s hard to admit to my family and friends?
I’m still finding my footing in this new world of solopreneurship.
Some days, I force myself to follow the rhythm I created -

handwrite
outreach
client work
homework help
ESL
repeat

It feels too much.

But I also know, support is everywhere.
Step by step, we figure things out.

Learning as we go is 100% part of the deal.

5. Robert W. Eichinger - Add Value, Be Brave, Be Kind

Eichinger teaches that if you criticize, you must be willing to step in first. Lead from the front, not from the sidelines.

I saw this with dev teams.

• Developers trusted managers who could code.

  • Managers who understood logic.

  • Managers who knew what effort was

• Managers who could negotiate timelines because they knew what effort is required.

Eichinger shared 4 timeless lessons:

1. Add value everywhere.

2. Be self-sufficient when you can.

3. Stand for something.

4. Criticize with care.

Learning does not happen in one moment or three.
It takes many touchpoints for the lesson to stick.

The slow kind of learning — the deep kind — stays with you for good.

6. Lou Tice - Mentors Shape Us

Tice says the most successful people had a mentor who saw something in them before they did.

Mine was my math coach, Mrs. Cabrillas.
She trained me after school and even on weekends, turning my ten-year-old self into someone who could compete — and win — at regional and national levels.

The medals and trophies were not the real gift.

She taught me discipline, consistency, and joy in hard work.

Mentors do that.
They help you believe in your own strengths, abilities, and potential to evolve.

7. Chip R. Bell - Great Teachers Love the Learner

Bell says great teachers:

• are patient

• non-judgmental

• slow to correct

• quick to confirm

• curious

• ethically grounded

• in love with the process of learning

My real estate agent (turned friend), Abby, reminds me of this.
She walked my family through every step of the home-buying process — patiently, clearly, with zero judgment.

Not once did she make us feel behind, confused, or “less than.” No wonder she’s so good! She teaches with her whole heart.

What makes a great teacher? They have genuine care for their learners.

What These 7 Leaders Have in Common

They learn to serve better.

They learn to understand themselves.

They learn to stay aware + awake in their own lives.

They learn to evolve.

If This Speaks with You

I’m building something for Q1 2026 -
a small mentorship program for people who want to grow the way real leaders do -

• with skill

• with support

• with honesty

• with curiosity

• with accountability

I’m keeping the group small.
If you want to be part of it, reply to this email, and I’ll send you the details.

Subscribe now

With the proper support next year, who would you become?

If you grew up in the Philippines, the holidays never started in December. On September 1, the malls start playing “Christmas in Our Hearts”, and there’s this shared excitement in the air. It’s like the whole country saying, “Okay, it’s time to put on holiday lights!”

As a kid, that was my favorite season.

It was the one time of year we could wear a second layer of clothing without sweating. And if you went to school in the ‘90s, you know exactly what I mean when I say this, the school Christmas dance was the real highlight.

Every elementary school had one. And somehow, I kept getting picked as one of the dancers. We had full ‘90s makeup, matching outfits, and after-school practices where my friends and I tried to get the timing right but ended up giggling more than dancing.

We’d stay until the sky got dark and our parents stood by the auditorium door, waving us home.

Those moments felt warm, simple, and special, the kind you don’t forget even decades later.

High school had its own version of magic. I studied in Quezon City, and Albay, my hometown, is nearly 300 miles away, so going home was not something I could do often.

Those three holiday weeks were precious. I got to see my parents, reconnect with relatives, attend Simbang Gabi, and take slow walks in the local park while eating street food.

I didn’t know it then, but those rituals taught me something that would follow me into adulthood. They taught me what steady support feels like.

And now, at 46, living 8,000 miles away, I feel that lesson even more.

The Kind of Support You Only Notice When You Need It

Moving to another country forces you to rebuild your life from scratch. You land at JFK airport, and suddenly everything is new - the weather, the expectations, even the everyday tasks that used to feel automatic.

And in those early years, you suddenly notice how much of a lifeline support is.

When you have it, life feels manageable.

When you don’t, everything feels blurry.

In my client work, it’s the same feeling when teams go through a digital transformation.

New tools do not scare people. Feeling lost does.

Companies introduce new systems with excitement, “Finally, goodbye to this 30-year-old Oracle setup!”

But once the real work begins, learning, adjusting, and figuring out what goes where, excitement turns into frustration fast.

People would hold on to old habits because they’re familiar, or hesitate because they don’t like “messing up.” And many hope they’ll “eventually get it,” even if they’re struggling.

It’s the adult version of standing alone in a new environment without the teacher, the classmates, or the practice routine you’re used to.

That’s why support becomes everything.

Change Only Feels Hard When No One Is Guiding the Way

Looking back at those elementary school practices, the routines did not make sense on their own. Our dance teacher, Mr. Allan, counted the steps with us. He explained the timing, and he helped us repeat the moves until we nailed the routine like graceful swans.

That’s why support matters during change.

• Training gives people a starting point.

• Documentation gives them something solid to rely on.

• Admin support keeps the system steady.

Support is what makes change feel doable, rather than intimidating.

A Work Lesson That Felt a Lot Like Coming Home

In 2019, I joined a project right after a Financial Services system went live. The rollout had been rushed, and training flew by too quickly, like an afterthought. Documentation was nonexistent. There was no admin owning the setup. By the time I arrived, the whole group looked burnt out.

Their energy reminded me of those holiday seasons from childhood, when everyone was doing their best, looking around for guidance, and hoping the next step would make sense.

So we slowed everything down and talked openly about what was confusing.

• We simplified their process

• We trimmed 17 clicks down to 4

• We checked in consistently

That feeling from pressure to relief is exactly what support does. Like those old dance rehearsals I did in 4th grade, or those long bus rides home to Albay. Same with what the holidays did every year, they gave life a rhythm again.

If You’re Planning a Change in 2026

If you’re updating your tools, restructuring your internal processes, switching platforms, or simply making work easier for your team, here’ a reminder -

It’s okay to not be the expert in a system you’ve barely used. You do not have to carry the entire transition alone.

What you do need is support that feels right.

A partner who can look at your process with fresh eyes. Someone who understands both the emotional and the technical sides of change.

Every project becomes lighter when there’s someone walking beside you, the same way holidays feel easier when you’re with people who understand you.

If you need help making your digital change feel manageable, let’s connect.

We’ll take it step by step (like the way Mr. Allan counted through every dance routine). And yes, we’ll make the process smoother, the way the holidays feel when you’re surrounded by familiar, kind faces.

Subscribe now

In 2021, while the world was figuring out vaccines, Ube bread, and the best way to disinfect groceries, I somehow became a 2nd grade teacher.

My son and his classmate were doing remote learning from our small New York apartment. Both sets of parents realized “remote learning” was a group project nobody asked for, but everyone had to do.

So we did the only thing that made sense, we turned our living room into a mini-classroom.

It had two kids, one huge shared desk, two math workbooks open to the same page. And me, a mom who had spent her whole career in tech, suddenly answering to the name “Teacher Mae.”

What I did not expect was how much leading two 2nd graders would change how I lead adults.

Kids don’t hide their reactions. If something is not working, they show you in 0.2 seconds. And if you pay attention, they teach you more than you teach them.

Here are the seven lessons that stayed with me, and I hope at least one of them meets you where you are today.

Lesson #1 Make It Worth Their Effort

Don’t assume people “should care.” Give them a reason.

If you’ve ever asked an 8-year-old to focus, you know they don’t fake interest. If something feels pointless, they’re gone in five seconds.

Adults do the same thing (we’re just better at hiding it).

One morning, both kids were dragging their pencils across the workbook. It looked painful. Nothing worked - not the timer, not the “just two more problems”, not even their fave fruits and crackers for snacks.

So I changed my approach.

Instead of “Do pages 67-68,” I said:

“These pages help your brain solve real-life stuff…like figuring out if more kids like apples or bananas in class, or knowing how much change you get back when you buy a $3.25 snack with $5. If you can do these now, they become sooo much easier in 3rd grade.”

Finally, they leaned in.

It reminded me, people don’t mind effort. They mind effort that feels disconnected from meaning. If you want real engagement, explain the “why” honestly and simply. Like you would with a child.

Lesson #2 Gamify

Kids love playing.

So instead of treating their math pages like boring worksheets, I turned the actual problems into tiny games:

• “There are 18 stickers. You put them in groups of 3. How many groups do you make? If you get it right, you earn 1 sticker.”

• “If reading time starts at 10:15 and ends at 10:45, build the reading time using one goldfish per 5 minutes.”

• “Count by 10s starting at 47. Every time you say the next number, do a tiny jump.”

Suddenly, they were racing themselves.
They wanted to win.

Joy works longer than pressure.

Adults don’t need stickers, but we do need:

• proof we’re not stuck

• something we can cross off

• a reason to feel proud right now, not months from now

When people see themselves improving, they naturally keep going.

Lesson #3 Give Them Structure

Kids function best with structure.

Same with adults.

Our little classroom had:

• a clear plan for the day

• start and stop times

• a checklist

• a timer

Nothing fancy, only enough rhythm to help them. I learned quickly it wasn’t the work that was tiring them out. It was not knowing what was coming next.

Give people structure, and suddenly they worry less, they focus more, and they stop second-guessing.

The tiny whiteboard in our apartment taught me that.

Lesson #4 Set Them Up for Success

“Ready” does not matter if the environment is not.

Before each session, I prepped everything:

• pencils sharpened

• water cups filled

• desks cleared

• laptop charged

A prepared environment is half the work.

I realized my real job was not teaching math. It was making the start easy, so they did not get stuck before they even began.

Seeing adults struggle because their environment creates unnecessary obstacles showed me something clear - fix the setup, and people move better instantly.

Lesson #5 Don’t Disappear When It Gets Hard

Coaching means staying close, not fixing everything.

Sometimes the kids would hit a problem they couldn’t solve. They’d freeze, press the pencil too hard, or sit quietly in frustration.

And that was my sign. I didn’t take the pencil and solve it, but I didn’t walk away either.

I sat next to them and said:

“Show me what you understand so far.”

They would explain half of it. Then I’d ask, “What do you think comes next?”

And little by little, the answer would come out of them, not me.

Adults need the same thing. People don’t need you to swoop in and fix it. They need someone who won’t leave when the work gets tough.

Lesson #6 Celebrate Moments Boosting Self-Belief

When the kids finished the lesson for the day, we celebrated.
”Way to go!”
“You figured it out.”
“That looked tough, but you still did it.”

Kids light up at this.
But adults secretly light up at it too.

We want our effort to be noticed. We want someone to say, “I know that wasn’t easy, yet you did it anyway. Good one!”

If you only celebrate big things, people burn out halfway.

Lesson #7 Let People Be Human First

Don’t force focus when what someone needs is a moment.

One afternoon, the kids were quiet. They were not their usual 500-words-per-minute talkative selves.

Instead of pushing through the math worksheet, I asked,
“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”

My son shrugged. His classmate shrugged. Then, he finally said, “I miss school.”

And there it was.

So we closed the worksheet and talked for five minutes about what they missed - their friends, play time at recess, the lunch lady who gave extra chocolate drink, all of it.

After our mini-heart check, they picked up their pencils again.

Ask an honest question. Give someone an opportunity to open up. Let them feel understood. It’s amazing how much focus returns when someone finally says what’s really going on.

Work gets easier when people trust you enough to say what they’re feeling, whether they’re eight…or forty-eight.

The Leadership Lesson I Didn’t Expect

Teaching two 2nd graders taught me more about leading adults than any training or certification ever did.

It taught me:

• People want their effort to matter.

• Structure makes hard things feel doable.

• Good setup beats raw talent every time.

• Support is more important than solutions.

• Progress needs celebration.

• People perform better when they feel safe enough to be real.

Those two kids in our apartment were not only learning math. They taught me how to show up for people in a way that lasts. Leading adults is not that different from leading 2nd graders.

We all do better when the path is clear. We all want to feel believed in. And we all perform better when the person guiding us cares enough to stay close.

If you want leadership stories that feel honest, simple, and rooted in real life, hit Subscribe. I write for the people who want to lead with heart.

Subscribe now