Look at what you say you want, then look at what you actually do. Do my actions align with my words and goals? If they don’t, no amount of wishful thinking will get you there.

For the big goals you’ve gone after for years that still haven’t worked out, get out a pen and paper and ask: What part of me does not want this?

There is likely a fear or limiting belief underneath. Acknowledging it can be enough. Journaling, EFT tapping, self-realization therapy, or EMDR can also help clear the block.

Getting what you want isn’t always about wanting it more. It’s getting honest about what’s working against it.

I was sitting here writing a Substack article about something that inspired me when one of my good friends texted me. She has been a dear friend for years, and I suddenly thought, Wait, I haven’t even told her about my Substack.

Then immediately I thought, Well, I don’t want to tell her because I don’t want her to feel like she has to subscribe or support it.

And then it hit me.

About 15 minutes earlier, my husband had texted me about a friend putting together an investment opportunity. An opportunity where he is likely going to ask people to invest hundreds of thousands of dollars.

And here I am nervous to send my dear friend a link to my free Substack.

I literally had to laugh at myself.

Men are out there asking people for hundreds of thousands of dollars to fund their ideas, businesses and dreams, and I’m worried that sharing something I created for free is somehow asking too much.

What am I doing?

I don’t even think this is necessarily a confidence issue. I feel confident in what I’m creating. I think it is something more subtle. This instinct to make sure no one ever feels pressured by me. To not take up too much space. To not promote myself too much. To wait until someone discovers what I’m doing instead of simply telling them.

But in trying so hard not to make anyone else uncomfortable, I realized I was making decisions for them.

My friend is perfectly capable of deciding whether she wants to subscribe. Just like an investor is perfectly capable of deciding whether they want to invest.

My job is not to decide how someone else will receive my ask.

My job is to be willing to make it.

Because people aren’t getting their dreams by keeping them secret.

So I’m calling myself out on this one.

Share the article. Tell people what you’re working on. Ask for the introduction. Make the offer. Send the link.

Let other people decide what they want to do with it.

I think there is a big difference between pressuring people and simply giving them the opportunity to support something you believe in.

And apparently, I needed that reminder today.

The other day, someone in my life was annoying me because I felt like they had a bad attitude. They kept pointing out things that were going wrong, things that were expensive, or things that were difficult, and in my head I kept thinking, Why can’t you just be grateful for this wonderful life you have?

Then I decided to take full responsibility for my life and look at what this could be reflecting back to me.

And I realized I was doing the exact same thing.

When I would get around this person, I would bring up something hard I had to do that day or talk about how much I had going on. I think part of me wanted them to know everything I was doing. I wanted them to acknowledge my effort and appreciate me.

But without realizing it, I was trying to get that appreciation by pointing out the negative. Which was the exact thing bothering me about them.

That’s when it clicked.

The missing ingredient was appreciation.

I think we both just wanted to feel more acknowledged and appreciated.

Then I realized I could take it one step further. Instead of waiting for someone else to validate everything I am doing, I can validate myself.

At the end of the day, I can actually stop and recognize what I did. I can appreciate how I showed up, what I handled, what I accomplished, what I gave and how much I carried.

If I genuinely feel good about what I am doing, I don’t need to complain about how hard it was just so someone else will acknowledge it.

Making people feel bad for you will only generate more bad feelings. This victim mindset will not get you the validation you want. If anything, it keeps you focused on everything that is hard instead of everything you are doing well.

Of course it feels amazing to be appreciated by the people in our lives. I think we should all get better at telling people how much we appreciate them. But I also don’t want to depend on someone else to give me something I can give myself every single day.

And I believe when I start appreciating myself more, I create more appreciation around me.

Instead of looking for proof that no one notices what I do, I can notice what I do. I can appreciate myself. I can appreciate the people around me. I can appreciate this wonderful life.

And I have a feeling the appreciation I was looking for will find its way back to me.

Sometimes the thing that annoys us in someone else is actually giving us a really clear look at something within ourselves.

And this time, it showed me exactly what I needed more of.

As you listen, let yourself soften. Breathe deeply. Notice where you’re holding on, and gently let it go. Allow your body to remember what openness feels like.

I hope you leave feeling lighter, more spacious, and more connected to the version of yourself that already knows t…

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I verbalized that thought.

He replied, “Let’s just say X has infinite amounts of money. They know they’ll figure it out.”

The project was interesting, but it was the sentence that stayed with me.

There was no arrogance or desperation, just a quiet belief that the resources would be there. It made me realize abundance isn’t about how much money you have, but what your nervous system believes is available to you.

The amount isn’t the point. The feeling is.

For me, abundance has everything to do with convenience, comfort, freedom, and beauty. Those four things have become a filter I use for alignment. They help me make decisions, recognize what truly matters to me, and build a life authentically.

HOW TO:

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I’m much more likely to want to discover something new than return to something I’ve already read or watched. However, I’ve been thinking about the importance of repetition. We don’t have to always to find the next new idea but revisit the ideas that have already changed us until they become part of who we are.

So this August, I’m doing something different. This is a summer reading list made up entirely of books I’ve read before, books that have stayed with me and shaped the way I think. In my opinion these books should truly be required reading before graduating high school.

And if you haven’t read these yet, consider this your sign.

Think and Grow Rich
The classic for a reason. A reminder that what you repeatedly think about, believe about yourself, and direct your attention toward has an enormous influence on the life you create.

The Almanack of Naval Ravikant
It’s less about getting rich quickly and more about understanding wealth, leverage, judgment, happiness, and building a life that actually belongs to you. There are so many ideas in this book that become more meaningful with repetition.

The Untethered Soul
One of those books that seems to meet you differently depending on where you are in life. A beautiful reminder that you are not every thought, emotion, or story that passes through you.

How to Win Friends and Influence People
Timeless, practical, and honestly something I think everyone should reread every few years. Human nature hasn’t changed much since Carnegie wrote it.

The Poisonwood Bible
Beautifully written and full of ideas about family, belief, culture, power, and perspective.

Elon
A fascinating look at ambition, obsession, risk, and the mind behind some of the most consequential companies of our time. Whether or not you admire Elon Musk, there is a lot to think about here.

This month, I’m less interested in checking books off a list and more interested in letting a few really good ideas sink deeper.

Because wisdom isn’t always about learning something new.

Upon finishing writing this article I did remember there is one book I have actually ready 12-14x I lost count. It has changed my life in so many ways I will give it its own article later but for now here is The Magic

In the course, we go through seven symbolic gates that mirror the seven chakras. We’ll explore your own birth story, family patterns, fears surrounding birth and motherhood, emotional release practices, guided journaling, meditation, and mindset shifts that help you approach birth from a place of grounded confidence rather than fear.

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At the end of this article, I’ve included a rapid-fire list of my favorite products and recommendations.

Pre-conception

What I wish I would have done before getting pregnant was spend more time researching my care provider.

I actually switched providers three times. Looking back, my biggest piece of advice is this: be obsessed with your care team. Whatever kind of birth you’re planning, you should trust their judgment, feel heard, and leave every appointment feeling secure.

Once I finally found the provider I loved, my anxiety dropped dramatically because I wasn’t questioning every decision anymore. I trusted that she would honestly educate me in an unbiased way and listen.

The other thing I wish I had researched before getting pregnant was vaccines. It’s one of those topics where there’s a lot of information and a lot of opinions. Once you’re pregnant, every decision feels so much more emotional. I would have preferred to go into pregnancy already feeling educated instead of trying to figure it out during pregnancy.

First Trimester

For me, the first trimester was wild. I was one of the people who was sick almost the entire time, which honestly takes some acceptance. One thing you can control is staying hydrated. The second I got dehydrated, my nausea got worse and then with a headache too.

Of course, go on walks if you can and eat healthy where you can. We all know those things.

But let’s talk nausea.

When I say I tried everything, I mean everything. I bought all the products, saw an acupuncturist, worked with a nutritionist, tried different supplements, and basically pulled every lever I could think of.

I’ll link the herbs that sorta helped me the most at the bottom.

But one of the most interesting things happened when I got so desperate that I went to see this very woo-woo woman.

She told me something that’s really stayed with me. She said nausea can actually be protective. Your body is doing something incredibly intelligent.

Then she shared something I’d never considered.

She told me: I’m nauseous because I had not had fully digested becoming a mother.

Honestly... fair.

How do you fully process that your entire life is about to change? That you’re no longer only responsible for yourself? That’s a massive identity shift.

She walked me through some shadow work around stepping into motherhood. Could my nausea improving afterward have been a coincidence? Sure.

But I also think our minds and emotions matter more than we sometimes give them credit for.

That experience actually inspired me to create something I wish I’d had before getting pregnant. This transition is often called the maiden-to-mother journey, and I don’t think we spend nearly enough time preparing for it emotionally. I’ll be sharing much more on that soon, but I truly believe giving yourself space to mentally process becoming a mother is just as important as preparing your nursery or hospital bag.

Second Trimester

If you are feeling better... take advantage of it.

Pregnancy is obviously physical, but it’s also a mental game.

Keep moving, keep doing your body work, and nourish yourself well. Your future self will thank you and it will help delivery.

As far as clothes go, my MVP were the La Perla cotton pants. I wore them constantly before pregnancy, and somehow even more during pregnancy. The drawstring is everything. Linked at the bottom.

This is when I’d really start reading. Birth, breastfeeding, newborns, spirituality. Anything that feeds your mind. Knowledge makes birth so much less scary.

I actually took several birth courses, and I can’t recommend that enough. Understanding what your body is doing during labor makes it so much easier to trust the process instead of fear it. Confidence can come from understanding.

One thing nobody prepared me for was how deeply spiritual pregnancy is.

I genuinely think pregnancy is one of the greatest opportunities for a spiritual awakening you’ll ever experience.

You’re literally co-creating with God in real time.

I felt more intuitive, more connected, and more in awe than ever before. If you’re open to it, lean into that. It made every physical change feel much more meaningful.

Another thing I would put at the very top of a pregnancy vision board?

Supportive friends.

I used to think I was such a small-circle person.

Then I moved to Austin and somehow found the most incredible group of women.

They were supportive, nonjudgmental, generous, encouraging, and genuinely excited for me. Having people you can text, ask questions or simply feel understood by is priceless, especially women who have actually experienced pregnancy themselves.

Lastly, I know dry brushing makes big claims, but all I can say is this: I did it for about three minutes before every shower throughout my pregnancy. It made me feel less bloated, and my cellulite didn't get worse. For me, that was enough to keep doing it.

Third Trimester

Keep walking. Get up early if you have to. It’s worth it.

When my back started hurting, I naturally walked less because I thought I needed more rest. Ironically, my back got worse. Once I started walking consistently again, I felt much better.

And for body work as much as you can fit in!!

Look into an osteopath.

I switched from seeing a chiropractor to seeing an osteopath, and I was blown away.

People talk a lot about craniosacral therapy, but finding a skilled osteopath is leaps and bounds better.

Another underrated pregnancy essential is a great book list. Pregnancy naturally slows you down a bit, so feed your mind instead of endlessly scrolling.

And finally...

Affirmations. I know they sound cheesy, but they actually work.

Every single morning while I stretched, I listened to and repeated affirmations.

I would literally catch myself saying those same affirmations in regular conversation without even realizing it. That’s when I realized they were actually working.

The stories we tell ourselves become the stories we believe.

I’m putting together a set of affirmations and a subliminal version because they became one of my favorite parts of pregnancy.

Lastly, set yourself up for a smooth postpartum during your third trimester by arranging as much help as possible before birth. Everyone talks about meal prepping or the first thing they’re going to eat, like sushi or pizza. As a postpartum mom, I’d encourage you to skip the junk food for a little while. Your digestive system truly benefits from warm, nourishing meals. Soft, Ayurvedic-inspired foods have felt best for me. Restorative roots meals were sent to me by a dear friend and helped my recovery so much and made meal time simple while I focus on feeding my baby.

So those are my niche pregnancy essentials.

I hope something in here helps make someone else’s pregnancy just a little bit easier.

Rapid-Fire Favorites

Nausea

• My favorite nausea herbs

• Aromatherapy

Supplements

• Collagen - Great for a healthy placenta

• Liver capsules (I became slightly anemic during pregnancy these got my iron up and these also completely got rid of my restless leg syndrome.)

• Ayurvedic Post Partum Meals

Comfort

• La Perla drawstring pants (I live in these and 100% cotton)

• HigherDOSE bath salts

• Pregnancy pillow (looks different for everyone, so find the one that works for you.)

Other Favorites

• A great osteopath or massage therapist

• A Doula

• A birth course you genuinely connect with

• A running list of books instead of endless scrolling

• Daily affirmations (I’ll be sharing mine soon.)

Life doesn’t always get less busy.

Sometimes the answer isn’t waiting for the season to slow down. It’s learning how to create little pockets of calm within the life you already have.

These are the practices I come back to whenever I start feeling overwhelmed. Some take two minutes. Others take an hour. But every one of them has helped me create a little more calm in the middle of a busy life.

1. Create more silence.

One of the first things I notice when I feel overwhelmed is how little silence I have in my day.

A podcast while getting ready.

Music in the car.

A YouTube video while cooking.

Scrolling before bed.

We’re constantly taking in more.

No wonder our minds feel full.

One of the quickest ways I create more peace is by intentionally leaving some spaces empty.

On my morning walk, I’ll skip the podcast.

During a drive, I’ll leave the radio off.

Sometimes I’ll listen to calming frequencies, but honestly, silence is usually what I need most.

You don’t have to fill every quiet moment.

Your mind needs space to breathe.

2. Time block your communication.

Instead of replying to every text the moment it comes in, batch them together.

An hour or twenty minute time blocked on your calendar.

When it’s time, sit down and respond to everything at once. I find I can respond even faster on my laptop vs phone.

You’ll get through it faster, stay more focused, and spend less of your day feeling mentally pulled in every direction.

Not every notification deserves immediate access to your attention.

3. Practice heart coherence.

One of my favorite two-minute practices is heart coherence. This is particularly helpful when traveling.

Simply breathe slowly while placing your attention on your heart and imaging the breath go in and out of your heart.

The HeartMath Institute has researched heart coherence and its relationship to stress and emotional regulation. Whether you decide to explore the research or simply try the practice yourself, it’s one of the easiest ways I’ve found to feel more centered.

It’s especially meaningful if you’re a parent.

Children often pick up on our emotional state. The more regulated we become, the more regulated they tend to feel.

Sometimes a few intentional breaths can completely change the tone of the next hour.

4. Give your thoughts somewhere to go.

Often what feels like overwhelm isn’t actually too much to do. It’s too many thoughts trying to occupy the same space.

One of the simplest ways I’ve found to clear that mental clutter is to write.

Set a timer for ten minutes and get everything out of your head and onto paper.

No editing or organizing.

Just write.

I used to think my meditation practice wasn’t working because I couldn’t quiet my mind. Then a meditation teacher told me something that completely shifted my perspective.

She said, “Don’t try to stop your thoughts. Just let them come and go like clouds.”

If that isn’t working I’ll set a timer for five minutes and simply give myself permission to think of any and everything.

Ironically, after a few minutes that’s often when my mind becomes quiet.

The less I fight my thoughts, the less they demand my attention.

5. Cancel one or two things.

Sometimes the calmest thing you can do isn’t add another habit.

It’s simply taking something off your calendar.

Look at your week and ask yourself:

What could I simply not do?

Pick one or two things and let it go.

It will be okay.

Giving yourself permission to remove something is often just as powerful as adding something.

6. Be honest about scrolling.

Even though I don’t use social media very much, I still notice myself doing the same thing with shopping sites or Pinterest.

That endless searching doesn’t make me feel inspired.

It makes me feel scattered or anxious.

If screen-time reminders or app limits help you, use them.

When one pops up, I ask myself a simple question:

Who am I voting to become right now?

Every decision is a vote.

Am I voting for the calm, grounded version of myself?

Or am I voting for another twenty minutes of mindless scrolling?

That question usually gives me all the motivation I need.

7. Find a form of bodywork you love.

I’ll write a full article on bodywork because I’ve tried so many different modalities over the years.

Whether it’s acupuncture, osteopathy, massage, Rolfing, chiropractic care, therapy, or something else, find one that works for you.

If you’re thinking, I don’t have an hour for that, I’d gently challenge you. If we don’t make time to care for our bodies now, eventually our bodies will ask for our attention.

As the title of The Body Keeps the Score reminds us, our bodies hold onto more than we often realize.

Sometimes the fastest way to calm your mind is to care for your body.

There’s a quote I think about often:

“If you don’t have time to meditate once a day, you should meditate twice.”

Whether or not that’s literally true, the wisdom behind it is clear.

The moments we feel most overwhelmed are often the moments we need stillness the most.

Life will always have busy seasons.

There will always be more emails, more errands, more responsibilities, and more people who need something from us.

The beautiful thing about calm is that it isn’t something we find one day when life finally slows down. It’s something we practice creating, little by little, exactly where we are.

We don’t need a perfectly empty calendar or a life without responsibility. We simply need to feel grounded within the life we already have.

_{Photo below Bahamas Circa a while ago}

More specifically, I’ve been wondering: What if growth wasn’t supposed to feel hard?

I’ve noticed a common idea across many spiritual circles: that expansion always follows struggle. The message often sounds something like: Something bad happened, so something good is coming. Or, You have to go through a difficult season before you can up-level.

Sometimes we even become conditioned to expect that if life feels good, something bad must be waiting around the corner—that “the other shoe is going to drop.”

While I understand the wisdom behind those ideas, I’ve realized I no longer want to subscribe to them.

Instead, I’ve decided to believe something different.

Expansion can feel like an exhale.

The more you align with who you truly are, the easier life can become. Not because life becomes perfect, but because you stop fighting yourself.

Expansion doesn’t always have to arrive through force.

Sometimes it arrives through relief.

That feeling of, “Oh... this is who I am.”

“This is what I’m meant to be doing.”

“This makes sense for me.”

Yes, alignment may require people, places, jobs, habits, or relationships to fall away. From one perspective, that can feel painful.

But from another perspective, it can simply feel like making room.

Like taking a deep breath after holding it for years.

An exhale.

Because the exhale isn’t just about what falls away.

It’s about what finally gets room to exist.

The energy you spent forcing a job that drained you, keeping a friendship that cost you more than it gave, explaining yourself to people who were never going to get it. That energy doesn’t just disappear when you let those things go.

It becomes available.

Available for the work you’re actually here to do. The people who feel like home. The version of your life that doesn’t require translation.

Expansion can feel like an exhale because you’re not only subtracting. You’re making room for more of what you’re meant for.

Less of what isn’t you. More of what is.

I’ve started asking myself different questions throughout the day.

What feels light? What feels expansive? Where am I overthinking? Where am I overexplaining? Who am I trying to convince?

Those moments often reveal where I’m forcing something that isn’t actually aligned.

Conversations that drain me.

Situations that consume precious time.

Opportunities that look good on paper but don’t feel right.

The best opportunities, friendships, and experiences in my life weren’t the ones I chased the hardest. They were the ones that seemed to unfold naturally because I had become the kind of person who was ready for them.

There was flow. Not because nothing required effort, but because the effort felt expansive and true.

I think the word alignment or flow can sound a little abstract, almost mystical. People ask, “How do I become more aligned or be in the flow?”

For me, it’s actually becoming surprisingly practical. It’s paying attention.

Notice the people, conversations, and activities that leave you feeling energized, peaceful, inspired, or deeply yourself.

The beautiful thing about this life upgrade is that you don’t have to buy anything new. You simply have to notice.

It’s recognizing the difference between discomfort that helps you grow and discomfort that pulls you away from yourself.

A challenging workout can feel deeply aligned. A different workout, one you’re only doing because your friend loves it, might leave you depleted, inflamed, and disconnected because it simply isn’t what your body needs.

The difference isn’t whether something is difficult.

The difference is whether it feels true.

Alignment is less about following someone else’s blueprint and more about developing enough self-awareness to recognize your own.

So how do we create more joy, peace, love, and abundance?

By becoming present enough to notice them.

You can accomplish one hundred things in a day, but if you were never fully present for any of them, what have you really experienced? Will you actually feel the next level you’re seeking, or will you simply stay busy?

Yes, there are emails to answer.

Laundry to fold.

Businesses to build.

Children to care for.

Meals to make.

Life requires us to move.

But what energy are you bringing into those moments?

We’re all chasing a feeling. We want to expand into new identities and new levels of life. So ask yourself: How does that version of me move through the world? How does she feel about her life? What energy does she bring to ordinary moments?

How do you make your breakfast?

How do you get dressed in the morning?

How do you greet your spouse?

How do you walk into a meeting?

How do you feel about yourself when you look in the mirror?

If you want to change your life, perhaps it begins less with changing your circumstances and more with changing the way you experience the ones you already have.

Up-leveling doesn’t have to arrive through hardship.

Sometimes it simply feels good.

Peaceful.

That’s what alignment is.

It’s discovering that the life you’re meant for doesn’t require you to become someone else. It asks you to become more fully yourself.

So while your circumstances may not change overnight, your experience of them can.

You don’t have to wait for a new life to begin feeling differently about this one.

More freedom while getting dressed.

More gratitude for what’s already on your table.

More love while greeting your spouse.

More peace while folding laundry or holding your child.

The external action stays the same.

The internal experience doesn’t.

Maybe the feelings you’ve been chasing, freedom, love, peace, and abundance, aren’t waiting on the other side of your next accomplishment.

Maybe they’re available to you now.

And the more you practice feeling them now, the more your outer life begins to reflect them.

Don’t expand into a life that looks bigger but feels smaller.

Expand into one that feels like an exhale.

Affirmations for Expansion (brain wash yourself)

“Life is allowed to get better and better.”

“It’s allowed to be easy.”

“Expansion can feel like an exhale.”

Three questions to sit with this week

What in my life feels like an exhale? Where do I feel lighter, more myself, and more at peace?

Where am I forcing, overthinking, or overexplaining? What might those moments be trying to tell me about what’s no longer aligned?

How can I embody the version of myself I’m expanding into today? Whether I’m making breakfast, folding laundry, or walking into a meeting, what energy would she bring to this moment?