Is it just me or does absolutely everything come back to dog behavior in some way?

More on this ball in a minute…

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The Nature vs Nurture Debate & Its Impact on Our Dogs’ Welfare

I’m reading On the Origin of Stories right now, and it’s not about dogs at all. Author Brian Boyd argues that art—specifically fiction—is an evolutionary adaptation that gave humans a leg up on survival.

It’s dense and slow but fascinating, and I love the question: Why tell stories? What good does it do for humans to make things up? What’s the point of art?

He spends a good bit of time dissecting what is part of our genetic code (nature) and our cultural code (nurture). And then he drops this:

Many suppose that to see people as the product of nurture alone offers more hope for changing them, as if they can be readily changed by cultural means.

Who among us hasn’t heard: It’s all in how they were raised!

Just last week, a pet rescue I follow posted on Facebook something like, “The one thing stressed out reactive dogs have in common? Their owners.” The implication, of course, is that the person is responsible for the dog’s behavior.

To be sure, sometimes that’s true. But it’s never the whole story even when it is true.

Boyd continues:

When we discover which “if”-conditions produce which “then”-outcomes, we can look for ways to institute the conditions likeliest to lead to our preferred outcomes.

Everything comes back to behavior, y’all. Everything.

But how much of behavior is nature? nurture? agency?

Whether we’re talking about the human desire to create art of the canine desire to shred the couch, each action derives pieces from how we’re born and how we’re raised. But that’s not the whole picture.

Free will exists. In us and in our dogs.

In an effort to curb Stola’s free will to choose to satisfy her genetic needs to chase and chew by chasing the cats and chewing the furniture, I thought we’d give this thing a whirl.

In other words, if I can’t (nor do I want to) mitigate Stola’s nature to chase, track, and pounce, I have to change the conditions so she stops choosing my couch cushions and the cats as her outlets.

Enter: The automatic ball that’s gone viral among pups on social media. I caved and bought one at the end of July.

She’s obsessed.

If I were to do it again, I’d choose one that has a tug rope attachment and a remote control, but this one does the trick. I’ll have Stola’s full review on Instagram soon, but if you’ve been on the fence about one of these automatic toys, I say go for it IF your dog’s nature is to chase and pounce. If your dog is more of a tugger or an eater of small objects, give this one a pass.

So, a book and a toy. That's where my brain is today. 🤪 What are you reading? Hit reply and let me know. I’d love some recs for when I finish this one!

Give your dogs a scritch for me!

P.S. If you need a book rec, might I recommend mine? :)

You really are doing great, even on the days it doesn’t feel like it. Especially on those days, the hard ones.

I heard a story about a manager who would periodically, purposefully call his employees when he knew they weren’t at their desks just so he could leave them a short voicemail about what he noticed they were doing well.

How nice is that?

If you’re a parent or a freelancer, if you work for a crummy boss, if you walk dogs or nanny toddlers, or drive for Amazon, or whatever… chances are you don’t have someone telling you how great you’re doing.

But you are. You’re doing great.

In other news

🏆 I’m thrilled to have two articles nominated for Cat Writers’ Association awards: Help! My Cat Hates My Dog is up for a behavior award, and the other is up for a product review award, and it’s all about the Litter-Robot.1

✍ I’m headed to Batesville, Indiana, this Saturday for Ripley County Reads, a library-centric event celebrating books and writing. I’ll have a table and will be participating in the writing workshop. Will you be there? Come say hi!

🎧 Can you do me a favor? Can you please click reply and let me know your favorite podcasts? They don’t have to be about dogs, nature, or animal behavior—but bonus points if they are! I’m trying to develop my listening skills, and audiobooks feel like too big of a leap to get started. I’d love to know: What do you listen to?

That’s all for today. Here’s what’s coming:

• an essay about ground cherries and motherhood placed in a lit mag 🎉

• a post tentatively titled “The Anthropology of Advocacy: a deep dive into why humans developed such complex social structures around rescue animals”

• another post about dogs and demands for anyone who followed this bit of conversation

• giveaways and big fun for FOR THE LOVE OF DOG’s first birthday in September—stay tuned 🎂

Take good care. You’re doing great.

I hope you’re finding ways to keep yourself and your dogs cool during these scorching days. We’ve broken out our fire hydrant sprinkler, much to the joy of the human girls and (unfortunately) to the dismay of the canine girls. :)

Two quick pieces of news today: a blog post asking a big question and upcoming events. Read on!

Inspired by Stola—I’m sure that surprises no one—John and I started to wonder if dogs can be diagnosed with ADHD. I polled my community on Instagram and Facebook as I dug into the research. Turns out, that wasn’t the question to be asking. Click the image above to discover my early findings.

Upcoming Events

First, Indy-area friends: Crate Escapes, the dog bar in Westfield, is hosting a HUGE party called Pawgaritaville. They’re going to run the foam machine, hold contests and giveaways with lots of prizes, and are welcoming in tons of pet-friendly vendors… including yours truly! I’ll be there signing (and selling) books from 2-5. I hope to see you there!

Second, writer friends: I leave today for the Midwest Writers Workshop at Ball State University. If you’re going to be there, too, I’d LOVE to meet in person!

Third, I have many library visits lining up for the fall. As I sign contracts, etc., and have more info available, I’ll update this graphic, but for now… I’m thrilled to share these:

I am seriously so excited for all of them because I love meeting new people and talking about their dogs, but I really can’t wait to go to Cincinnati! While I’m there, I’ve been itching to visit The Sticker Shop, so that’s at the top of my list for after the event. What else should I do while in Ohio?

That’s all for now. I have to go pack for the workshop… I leave in a few hours and only have my snacks organized. Anyone else a last-minute packer??

Leave a comment

Take good care!

P.S. If we’re not connected on Instagram yet, click here! I plan to post to Stories throughout my trip this week and the day-long dog party next weekend. Would love to have you follow along virtually if we can’t meet in person.

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Is summer a reading-heavy season for you? I consider the entire year to be a reading season, but summer seems to lend itself to books. Maybe it’s all the library programs or the longer days giving more light for page turning.

I’ve been digging into dark, cozy fiction lately that is similar to my novel that’s out on submission. And, of course, I’m working through a pile of nonfiction, particularly dog training books (I can’t teach Stola fast enough!). My long-time friend, Peggy Frezon, has GOODBYE TO A GOOD DOG coming out soon and was generous enough to send me a review copy, so I bumped that to the top of the pile on the corner of my desk.

This pile, actually:

If you’re looking for more suggestions on what to read, I recently posted 7 book recs for people who prefer animals to people!

Otherwise, I’d love to know: What should I add to my teetering TBR pile or to my Libby holds? What books are you devouring this summer? Click reply and let me know!

Happy reading, and take good care!

P.S. Of course, of course, of course… If you still need another dog book (and who doesn’t?!?!) might I recommend FOR THE LOVE OF DOG? ☺

I hope this finds you well. Here in central Indiana, it’s still rainy and cold. I have big, big plans for my garden this year, so fingers crossed the weather shapes up soon!

Three quick things for the start of May:

1. Visits and Signings

I recently had the absolute pleasure of visiting several different libraries. I love libraries with all my heart. Sooooo, I’m adding more to the list! As I get in touch with libraries and bookstores, or apply for events, please do let me know if anything is happening in your area. I’d love to meet. Right now, I’m confirmed with a visit to the Batesville Public Library in Ripley County and have applied for the Lew Wallace Hoosier Author Fair and about half a dozen more. Stay tuned for dates!

Here I am setting up my table at the county fairgrounds author fair last week!

In the meantime, if you’re in the Midwest, please let me know if you’ll be attending the Midwest Writers Workshop summer conference at Ball State. I’d love to meet up!

2. Book News ✨

My novel is officially on submission! What that means is that my agent is introducing it to publishers to find it a home. Cross your fingers it sells fast because I’ve already dreamed up the sequel!

Here is the mood board I created to capture the feeling of the novel. What do you think?

3. On the Blog

Recently posted: The Things I Lost

Coming next: 7 Books for People Who Prefer Animals to Humans (my annual summer reading guide!)

And now for something cute:

“Mom, it’s really hard to read at this angle.”

“Do you want me to move Stola?”

“NO! How dare you! Look how happy she is! I was just saying!”

I hope your May is off to a great start! I look forward to catching up with you soon!

Take good care,

P.S. If we’re not yet connected on Instagram, that’s where I’m sharing the most recent updates in real time! It’s been a challenge to come here to post what’s new (though I’m working on it!!!), so let’s connect on IG if we’re not already!

I hope this finds you well!

I come to you from a place of profound relief. My dear, sweet Stola was nearly ejected from doggy daycare.

We clinched her a spot at a coveted facility after several months on a waiting list. She got her spot, started one day per week, and immediately her overall behavior improved. Doggy daycare gave her an outlet for her intense energy. The large dog playgroup met her need for body slamming, chasing, bitey facing.

Stola’s day away also gives Penny some much-needed rest, and the bonus for all of us is that Stola returns home tired. Quite nearly almost practically calm, too.

Then, the sun shone and another spot opened up. “She loves it so much here,” the office manager said, “and we have an opening on Fridays. Would you like to try Stola there, too?”

We jumped! Stola was going two days a week and loving it. Or so we thought.

And maybe she did love it, but her nervous system did not.

The third Friday, my phone rang.

“First of all, there’s no need to worry! Stola is fine!” The manager must start every non-emergency call like that. I appreciated it but also… I knew what would come next. “I wanted to talk to you about Stola. I’m not sure we’ve found the best fit for her at this time.”

She went on to say that one of her two days was filled with adolescents and they were simply too rowdy as a bunch. She implied that Stola was the rabble-rouser.

“And, unfortunately, since she’s Deaf and we have to sign to her, we’ve all noticed that when she sees us trying to get her attention, well, she turns her back on us.”

I wanted to laugh. And also cry.

We all needed Stola to go to doggy daycare.

Those were the only two days a week I could get focused work done for several hours without having to intervene, redirect, exercise, entertain, or stop her (from chewing the couch, from chasing the cats, from bashing her head into the bathroom door to force it to pop open so she could steal another roll of toilet paper, and so on).

“What can we try?” I asked.

“We want to support her as best we can,” she said. “How about we take her back down to once a week and try a different day where the dogs are maybe older.” She gave me two days to consider, though she said she felt the group on Wednesdays was probably the best fit for her personality.

So, off she went on Wednesday.

And, all fingers crossed, it seems to have done the trick.

She hasn’t had any more behavior notes in her file. She hasn’t been sent home early, and my phone hasn’t rung with ominous news. And I’m really hoping it stays that way.

Stola LOVES doggy daycare, and she loves that facility. But, when it wasn’t working, we tested another option that worked.

When something isn’t working in my world, I often just put my head down and push through like a stubborn bull—sort of like Stola with the bathroom door, to be honest—instead of trying something new.

A good friend who works in the schools joked that they simply had to adjust Stola’s IEP to find the right plan for her. An IEP isn’t about changing who the student is; it’s about changing the environment so the student can succeed. If Wednesday works better than Friday, it doesn’t mean Friday was a failure. It just wasn’t the right fit.

It made me think about the writing project I’ve been slogging through for months now. It’s not working, and it hasn’t been working for a while. But I keep pushing because I feel like… I should? I need to? I’ll fail if I don’t?

We didn’t let Stola fail at doggy daycare, so maybe I should take that same approach for myself.

So, I pose this question just in case you might need it today because I know I do: Is there anything in your life—in dog training, work, personal, reading, or whatever—that could use an adjustment? Instead of barreling through, you might need to tweak? How can you update your personal IEP to make life a little less hard and accommodate yourself a little better?

If you’re currently barreling through a situation that feels too rowdy for your nervous system, here is your permission to stop pushing.

Upcoming Events

Local, friends: I have several library events and a conference coming up. The first is this weekend! Hope to see you there!

Until next time, take very good care.

P.S. My latest blog post is a bit of a soap-boxy rant about how people who want the best for animals often forget that animal welfare starts at the human end of the leash. Read that here.

P.P.S. Look for this newsletter next week with all the event dates and book news I couldn’t cram into this one since it got so long. :) Thank you for being here!

Just a quick email today with some timely news: If you’re a Goodreads user, for the next week or so, you can enter to win one of 10 signed copies of FOR THE LOVE OF DOG.

Click on this link, and the entry widget is on the left hand side, below the cover image.

I haven’t checked in much the past couple weeks because my manuscript revisions are due to my agent on the 15th, and… you know…

I hope all is well with you and your wonderful pets! I’ll catch up soon, after I turn in this book and take several long, long naps.

Go enter to win a book!

Take care,

I learned something new last week: Dogs are crepuscular, meaning they are most active during dawn and dusk.

I always knew that about cats, but I guess I figured dogs followed a human schedule more closely. Then the realization set in: We force dogs to follow our rhythms, while cats have more freedom to do their own thing.

That led me to reexamine my daily habits and routines along with Stola’s daily habit of becoming a chaos gremlin every single night from about 6 to 8. It’s when she ramps up all the naughty behaviors we work on during the day. She nips more, chews inappropriately, slams into everyone, and so on.

💡 So. What if I shift training Stola from daytime to evening?!?!

“Who me?”

It hasn’t worked out like that every day because our life is kind of chaotic. But I’ve noticed that when I do move our training to the evening, usually right after dinner when John takes the girls up to bed, two things happen:

1. Stola is more engaged and focused. She’s less distracted. And, since she’s had her dinner, she’s less bananas over treats. (The advice to train hungry doesn’t work for her. She gets so focused on the food that she stops paying attention to anything else.)

2. It’s keeping me from endlessly scrolling on my phone after dinner, which had become a very bad habit.

Brain rot: “a perceived loss of intelligence or critical thinking skills, especially on account of the overconsumption of unchallenging or frivolous content posted online.”

There is so much in the news right now, and I am at war with feeling a deep sense of responsibility to bear witness and to stay engaged. But then my brain feels like it melts, and I struggle to cast my attention to another action, like reading.

I need to find balance, but it sure isn’t continuous scrolling of Instagram and Threads between the hours of 7 and 9 every night. 🫣

Changing our routine—instead of plopping down with phone in hand, I’m setting up Stola’s mat and some fun training games—has changed how I move through my evening while also helping her not turn into a raging asshole.

Now I’m wondering:

• Did you know dogs are crepuscular? Do you notice your dogs ramp up their behavior or energy levels at dawn or dusk? What strategies do you use?

• Do you also struggle with doom scrolling? And, if you’ve cured it, what has helped you change the habit?

Please share below!

In book news:

I had the chance to visit with some University of Baltimore students last week, which was great fun. I wish we could’ve all sat around chatting about our blogs afterwards! :)

I’ve also been asked by several charities now to donate a book or two for various fundraisers, auctions, that sort of thing. I’d be more than happy to do more of that. Reach out if I could help your rescue or shelter in some way!

Several events are coming up this spring. I don’t have dates yet, but stay tuned!

Take good care, everyone.

Thank you for being here,

P.S. Don’t forget subscribers get access to all these freebies!

I’m relieved to welcome February because January felt like three months long. (Also, it’s my birthday month!) But, for today, I wanted to share two pieces of news:

OMD is brand new! 💻

As of yesterday, my newly-redeveloped website is up and running. 🥳

I’ve been blogging about dogs since 2009. Not only does that make me ancient in internet-years, but this redevelopment is a massive step forward for me because, for the first time ever, I’ve hired a professional web developer!

In the past, I’ve white-knuckled website stuff with the help of YouTube tutorials or emergency help tickets filed with my web host. Now, I have a woman who knows what’s up, and after an initial consult and some follow-up emailing, I’m SO EXCITED to share the new site. It went live yesterday, so there are probably kinks and revisions that need to happen, and I plan to swap out that image of the audiobook cover with a more stylized photo, but I didn’t want to push off celebrating this milestone. ✨

You can click the image to open the link & while you’re there, check out my latest post about enrichment and finding the right fit for your dog:

Book news

The publishing journey for For the Love of Dog has not gone how I envisioned. Several of you have asked for an inside look into publishing, and a couple colleagues have reached out to chat through book publishing. I promise a post soon. However, the pertinent piece here is that, in 2024, when the book was supposed to be going through edits, layout, design, etc. for a February 2025 release, my editor disappeared.

For many months, deadlines swooped past me, emails went unanswered, until—finally—my release date was pushed all the way until September and a new editor was assigned.

It was harrowing.

To keep from panicking, I tinkered with this idea I had for a cozy mystery.

As weeks and deadlines flew past, I put my head down and drafted a novel—something I’ve never considered before. I am a nonfiction writer, through and through.

Long story and several revisions later, my agent thinks I’ve got something. She called it a “page turny” psychological thriller. I’m working on one more round of revisions (should I take it cozier? or pump up the thriller angle?) before we’ll go out on submission.

Yes, it has animals: two orange tabby cats are kind of the stars, and they’re joined by a whole host of dogs.

Think happy thoughts! 🤞

Give your dogs and cats some extra love.

Times are tough right now. Thankfully, we have pets. Sending you and yours big hugs and scritches.

Until next time,

P.S. Are we connected on Instagram? I’m posting lots of Stola training reels in the coming weeks because we are making HUGE progress. I am SO proud of this little monster mutt. Join us!

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Plants protect themselves against ice crystals—and, thus, rupture—by moving water out and concentrating the remaining sugars into a sludge, not dissimilar to antifreeze.

I, too, am storing energy for spring and concentrating my blood into a sludge, mostly thanks to Nerds Gummy Clusters.

I joke—but only a little.

Winter makes it difficult for me to tend my roots, and I know that the dogs experience the same sluggishness during this cold season. They want to spend less time outside, and it hasn’t been safe for them to do so anyway with temperatures consistently falling below 0. Their walks are faster and shorter. They sleep more.

I wish I could sleep more.

“Root down to rise up” is a principle in yoga. With solid roots, you can reach higher. The tension between grounding and lifting doesn’t feel so hard the rest of the year, though. So, how can I make us all feel more grounded, even in the cold?

Are you tending your roots? Your dog’s roots? Preparing them for spring?

Here are 7 ways we tend our roots, along with the dogs’, to survive this season:

(With apologies to my wonderful friend, Kristine, who adores this season, and everyone else who agrees with her that this is the time for peaceful, quiet, unhurried walks.)

1. When the sun shines, because it does occasionally come out, soak it up. If it’s too cold to be outside, sip your coffee by a sunny window or snooze in a chair placed in the perfect spot.
   

2. Do the activities you love—indoors. Crawling under the covers feels good, but only until you hit that point where snuggling turns to rotting. Instead, find ways to play, even for a few minutes each day. We spend a ton of time playing games with the dogs. Stola loves to chase a ball. Easy enough to do inside with a smaller, softer ball (as in, leave the Jolly Ball outside!). If you love to hike, consider playing a game up and down the stairs with your pup, so you get your leg workout in at the same time. Does your dog love to run? Consider a treadmill (safely, obviously… talk to your vet… look up reviews, etc.) or teach your dog to play a Simon Says-style game with quick movements.

3. Train. Proof basic behaviors. Add tricks. Learn canine freestyle moves. Whatever brings you and your dog joy, do it! We’ve always been big fans of indoor obstacle courses, like jumping over a broom propped between a couple chairs or setting up a tunnel with blankets.

4. Get physically comfortable. This seems so obvious, but if you’re uncomfortable, it’s hard to feel grounded. Wear cozy clothes: soft layers, fuzzy socks, knit scarves. If your dog has short hair, like Stola, find a sweater or coat your dog feels safe and comfy in. Newt loves to lie on a heating pad during these cold months, which I set out for her in my office each morning. Find what makes you cozy and do it.

5. Layer in enrichment opportunities. Keep your brains engaged! For you, it might be completing a new jigsaw puzzle. For your dog, maybe you challenge yourself to feed him each night in something other than a bowl. (Think: kibble rolled up in towels, food puzzles, seek-and-find, muffin tins, and so on.)

6. Welcome new (plant) life. Grow some window herbs you can share with your dogs and cats. We have catnip and cat grass seeds in little jars by the windows. You can grow ginger easily indoors, and shred a bit onto your dog’s food. On top of providing treats for your pets, plants bring a space to life—so needed on these short, dark days. Just be sure to place them in your sunniest window!

7. Snuggle. Light a fire in your fireplace or a candle on your table. Dim the lights. Pop some totally-shareable popcorn, and snuggle up with your pup. In the darkest days, there’s nothing better than feeling warm, cozy, and loved.

Is all this so obvious?

I feel like it should be, but I also feel like every year I reach for lists like this to remind myself not to get dragged down by the short days, gray skies, and perpetual cold. The dog and cats, too.

Incidentally, Newt was griping at me the other day about not being allowed out in the catio. She meowed and paced by the window that leads to their enclosure—which was full of snow. But, I went ahead and opened it for her. She burst out, like, “Finally!”

And then dashed right back inside. It was adorable and funny. I assured her that soon her space will be hers again.

As will my garden be mine again and the trails be the dogs’ again. Soon.

How are you surviving winter? What would you add to this list?

Take care, friends.

P.S. Speaking of these winter blues… this email was actually supposed to go out last Tuesday, but Violet had

Flu-B. The girl cannot catch a break this winter. Which also means I’m perpetually behind, but it is what it is!

P.P.S. The adorable cross-eyed pup, Gilly, I shared a couple weeks ago appears to have been adopted! I’ve been checking his profile periodically, and it’s no longer up! I’ve also heard Buford is pretty great, so take a moment to peek his profile or share it on social media. :)

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And welcome, 2026!

I hope your holiday season was merry and bright. Are you still clinging to vacation time? Or are you feeling ready to get back into the swing of things? I really am. The girls climbed onto the bus this morning, and John went into the office and dropped Stola off at daycare on the way… and Penny and I breathed a collective

sigh of relief.

However, everything is in chaos. The house, the inbox, the routines, all of it. Penny is feeling it, too, I think. I tried to entice her to do a quick training session this morning, and she just wagged her tail at me without getting up from her cozy spot on the couch. I swear she was thinking, “How cute, but no.”

Three quick things for today as I try to regain my footing:

1. Check out my an anti-retrospective on OMD that outlines where I’m hoping to go in 2026 with the blog, with email, with social media, and with another book in the pipeline. TL;DR version: more consistency, better balance between work and rest (UGH, why is that so hard???), and using my voice for what matters during these turbulent times.

2. Quick favor: I entered my book into a juried book fair, and I meet all the criteria except one: reviews. The requirement is at least 35 3-star or better reviews on either Amazon or Goodreads. As of this writing, I have 26 on Amazon, but one review is a one-star. I have 17 on Goodreads, and one is a two-star. (Interestingly, the same person gave both those reviews, but that’s neither here nor there.🤪) If you have a moment, could you please leave a review on either of those platforms? You don’t even need to write words. Simply clicking the stars is good enough! Link to Amazon. Link to Goodreads. Thank you so much.

3. If you live near me, a new dog friend alerted me to adorable, adoptable (cross-eyed!) Gilly. This sweet boy is at Hamilton Humane. Click to read his profile.

That’s all for today. If the sun comes out, I may try again with Penny, but it may just be her perfect day for rest and relaxation without human or canine sisters to bother her all day long.

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I hope all is well with you and yours and that you’re entering this new year with gentleness and grace.

Take good care,

P.S. It’s been ages since I’ve remembered to share this freebie. For being part of this community, I have a free download for you: Positive Reinforcement Training for Dogs of ALL Abilities. It’s chock full of tips, tricks, and advice to help you and your dog work together, no matter your abilities. As someone who has written about dogs for 15+ years, I realized it was about time for a guide that takes into account the differences in human and canine abilities. So, this little guide is my attempt at making positive reinforcement dog training accessible for all.

Well, it wouldn’t be the holidays without bouts of sickness, would it? Violet’s home with Covid this week, and she’s the last one to get hit, so I’m hoping everyone’s all clear before the holiday festivities begin… In the meantime, I’m simmering some soup, pushing lots of fluids, and following her around with bleach wipes.

Anyway! Today’s quick announcement:

FOR THE LOVE OF DOG is available on audio!

Now, if I’m being completely honest, I’m not a big audiobook person. Why? Well, I can’t stay focused. I start listening a book or a podcast, and suddenly I realize my mind has wandered and I have no idea what’s happening.

That said, I know so many people—John included—who THRIVE with audio. He listens to so many books and loves the format.

So, I wanted to share a few links I found where I think most people search for audio:

• Amazon (free with an Audible trial!)

• Spotify

• Hoopla (free with your library card)

Where else do folks get audiobooks? I’d love to learn other places so I can share additional options in the future!

BTW, if you’re a last-minute gift giver, this audio version (or the digital eBook version) would make a great gift since you don’t have to count on shipping! I’m still waiting on stuff I ordered at the end of November. Gulp.

That’s it from cootie central. I hope you’re having a wonderful December!

Take good care of yourself,

Many years ago, I wrote about how the house we’d moved to when John started his PhD program was the worst house in the world for Lucas. It had a sun room on the front of the house, and right outside that sun room was the bank of mailboxes for the entire neighborhood. All day long, people came and went. Delivery vehicles and mail trucks stopped by daily. And Lucas with his reactivity and a huge bank of windows with lots of foot traffic was just a recipe for disaster.

I wrote a post about installing blinds and how it was a hard pill to swallow to keep a beautiful, bright sun room in perpetual darkness to curb Lukey’s behavior. Immediately, I got a comment: “That’s not training him. It’s just management. Nothing will change unless you actually train him.”

Why has that comment stuck with me since 2009? Two reasons:

First, I used to have a really hard time dismissing irrelevant comments, and I have an entire catalog in my brain of comments I’ve been holding onto until I’ve processed and have a relevant reply. (Today’s the day on this one. Bet this email will show that guy… from his comment made 15+ years ago.)

Second, I’ve received variations of that comment and read variations on that comment in my blogs, forums, social media, etc. and I keep mulling it over every time I see it because I honestly can’t help but wonder: Why does management get such a bad rap?

Pic is totally unrelated. Penny just loves to sit under the tree like the little gift that she is!

First, what is management? And how is my entire life basically one big mix of management strategies?

Management is a success strategy, imo.

Management is all about controlling the environment to set your dog (and yourself) up for success. So, some of the most basic examples are using a leash on a walk or putting a baby gate at your front door so your dog doesn’t dash out or hanging blinds so your dog doesn’t get to practice reactivity out the window all the live-long day.

There are all kinds of ways to employ management strategies to set your dog up for success. One of ours currently: We have a magnet holding our trash can cabinet closed because Penny tries to get into it and strews trash all around the house any chance she gets.

We humans employ management strategies for ourselves, too. In fact, when I start breaking it down, my entire life is a series of management tools and tactics.

I struggle to focus for large blocks of time, so I use timers to break my work time into manageable chunks.

I never remember if we’re out of milk / cat food / apples, so our household Google Assistant is set up to capture that stuff when I yell it into the ether.

I’ve automated a million little details, have a set time on Sunday to place a grocery order for the week, organize the girls’ clothing in sorts so they have something clean and folded for school each day, have a charging station for everyone’s tablets and headphones, and so on.

(John and Violet would like me to insert a note here saying that I’ve instituted so many organizational systems in our lives because it’s my management strategy for coping with undiagnosed ADHD, but that’s not my point at all.)

So, why does management as a strategy get vilified?

Well, going back to that guy’s point from a 15 years ago, it isn’t training. It’s definitely not. Training, the actual teaching of a behavior, has to happen for any behavior to change, right? Behavior isn’t really going to change if we only employ management strategies.

Management isn’t teaching. But it’s not supposed to be.

Management strategies provide all the tools and systems and frameworks so that teaching and learning can happen at all.

I’m not going to be able to finish writing this email unless I get up to take a stretch break after a certain amount of time. If I force myself to sit in this chair, what happens? The work becomes stressful, demotivating, and frustrating. So, I use my management strategy: I write for 20 minutes then stretch and make a tea for 5. Then back to work. And I get the email done.

A dog flipping out snarling and launching himself at the mailman out the window isn’t going to be able to learn at all in that headspace. Learning is not possible in that moment. Instead, you apply the management tools (blinds) and simultaneously work to train a calmer reaction out the window when you can—again—control the environment.

As for me, I’ll never spend the time training my memory to remember all the groceries we need, and I’ll never put in the painful, forced effort to keep my butt in my seat for a long stretch of work time. My strategies are enough. And maybe some of the strategies you have for your dog are enough, too. Maybe there are places where the training doesn’t have to be so difficult because the management is enough.

Where do you weave management strategies into your dog’s life? Or your own? What do you find most effective when it comes to either accepting or modifying a behavior?

I look forward to hearing from you. Click reply or leave a comment below.

Take good care,

P.S. There’s still plenty of time to pick up a copy of FOR THE LOVE OF DOG as a holiday gift for you and all your friends and family! :) It’s available wherever books are sold, including through your favorite independent bookseller, on Bookshop.org, Amazon, and so on.

P.P.S. If you’ve already bought a copy (THANK YOU!!!!) and are trying to find the perfect gift for me this holiday season, it is without a doubt a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. :)

I know everyone is so busy right now. This last little push until the holiday season and a new year always feels frantic and frenetic. So, in the interest of your time and mine, three quick things:

1. If you’re local to central Indiana, I hope to see you this Saturday at the Carmel Clay Public Library’s local author fair!

2. I wrote a blog post about the economic realities facing pet owners versus what the pet industry is asking them to spend. It’s the first in a loose series I’m putting together about the economic and political challenges that are impacting animal welfare and compassionate care for animals. If you have a moment to read the post, I’d love to know what you think. Leave a comment on the post or click reply to this email to share your thoughts.

3. Newt (age 14ish) and Ripley (age 8) had their annual exams last week, including senior blood and urine panels. “Keep doing exactly what you’re doing, and I hope I don’t see either of these girls until next year,” their beloved vet said as we left the clinic with a perfect bill of health. Newtie is always so brave and curious while Ripley tries to pretend she’s invisible:

That’s it for today. I hope all is well with you and yours. Thank you for being here and staying in touch. I am so grateful for you and for your pets!

Take good care,

P.S. If you’ve already picked up a copy of FOR THE LOVE OF DOG, thank you so very much! I hope you’re enjoying it! If you have a moment, would you mind reviewing it on Amazon, Goodreads, or wherever you shop for books?

There’s far too much content on the internet for mere mortals to sort or see it all. Behind the scenes, we know that some very smart people are working incredibly hard to develop algorithms to ensure we all become addicted to the constant scroll.

Algorithms: Those insidious content-ranking systems that determine what you’re shown and when based entirely on your own behavior and preferences. No wonder it’s nearly impossible to click away.

However, it’s the reality. And this is where my quick favor request comes in:

Did you know that reviews of books on platforms like Amazon, Goodreads, Barnes & Noble, etc. have a significant impact on the book’s overall sales?

It’s been a month since For the Love of Dog came out, and it’s been a wild month!

If you’ve had a chance to pick up a copy, would you be so kind as to leave a review on Amazon or Goodreads? Or Barnes & Noble? According to my publisher, reviews are THE most important thing for new books to show up in search and rise in the rankings. Stinking algorithms.

I am so, so very grateful! And if you don’t have time to write something up, clicking the 5 stars button only takes two seconds. 🤣

Here’s Penny visiting a local bookstore where we’ll have an event coming up soon! More on that once I have the details sorted.

Thank you so much for your support. This process is far more stressful than I ever imagined, and I appreciate you being here so much.

Give your dog a scratch for me.

Until next time,

Happy October. This is usually one of my favorite times of year: crunchy, colorful leaves and crisp air. Boots and sweaters. Hot chocolate by the fire pit.

But, no. Not this year. Because it’s still 80 degrees out.

Anyway, October is Pit Bull Awareness Month. I’ve written about this for years, and in more recent years I felt a strong pull, like the tide was turning.

And it is.

Also:

John and I are planning a trip, and we’ve been looking for a good dog boarding option. Our neighbor recommended Best Friends Pet Care, the place they take their dog. He raves about it, so John gave them a call. Here’s my reenactment of their conversation:

John: “Hi, we’re looking to board our two dogs on these dates in this large, multi-pet room listed on your website, and include daycare play.”

Lady: “Sure! We have those dates available. What are your dogs’ names, ages, breeds, and size?”

John: “Penny is 45 pounds, hound mix, around four years old. Stola is almost 50 pounds, pit mix, just over one.”

Lady: “Perfect! Thanks! Does Stola have a square jaw?”

John: “Huh?”

Lady: “If she has a square jaw you need to book two rooms instead of one because it’s our policy to separate dogs with square jaws.”

John: “No, thanks.”

What a bunch of arbitrary silliness. They’re using a tiny piece of physiology to make a rule that skirts around a pit bull ban. It’s nonsense that penalizes bully breed owners by charging them double. Not only that, but my two do not want to be separated. Ever. Especially in an unfamiliar place where they could provide each other some comfort and normalcy. Also, that lady should feel lucky she had John on the phone instead of me.

So, anyways, pit bull awareness month.

Since you’re here, I can only imagine there’s nothing I can tell you that you don’t already know. The data is clear. Pit bull restrictions and bans are ineffective at best and harmful at worst.

If you DO want to learn more, might I recommend The Lost Dogs or Pit Bull: The Battle Over an American Icon for additional reading?

In other news…

I’ve got a bunch of events coming up in the next few weeks, and I sincerely hope to see you at one!

And be sure to take care of yourself during these troubling times. Leash up your pup and head out for an extra walk. Sip your coffee outside in the fresh air. Put your phone on silent and sneak in a snooze. Whatever it takes to protect your heart and your energy.

Until next time,

P.S. Don’t forget to grab a copy of my book, available wherever you love to buy books, including Amazon and Bookshop.org!

The entire event was fantastic, and I left inspired and reinvigorated. While it was more geared to novelists and poets, as someone who writes nonfiction, I was thrilled to discover that the keynote speaker, Ashley C. Ford, was delivering a session on creative nonfiction.

During her talk, she called creative nonfiction “a literature of witnesses.”

Now, I write about pets. I write about the animals who share our homes and our couches. I write about how we care for them and how they, in turn, care for us.

I thought about what I, as a creative nonfiction writer who covers animals, am witnessing. Anything? Nothing?

Everything.

It turns out, everything.

Observing and writing about pets shows our humanity.

How we treat animals shows us nothing about the animals but everything about ourselves.

I’ve witnessed, observed, and written about:

• how communities interact with, protect (or not), and manage the animals living there;

• the establishment of, dismantling of, and enforcement of laws governing treatment of pets;

• the economic impact of a supposedly recession-proof industry;

• the evolution in how we understand and train our dogs, thanks to cutting-edge science and well-tested research;

• compassion, empathy, and feats of love to protect and save dogs and cats;

• and, yes, cruelty too.

Among many other topics that I’m not thinking of right now.

Sometimes, when people say, “Pets? You write about pets? Like dogs and cats?” I can feel small. Like it’s frivolous.

But it’s certainly not.

How we treat our animals shines a bright light on our humanity.

And, as I argue in my book, animals make us better humans—if we allow them to teach us.

Subscribe now

So, I will continue to write, of course, about all these topics and so much more as I continue this tradition of being a part of “a literature of witnesses.” And eternal thanks to Ms. Ford for reminding me of these truths.

Take care, everyone, and give your pup a scratch for me,

P.S. If you have already picked up a copy of FOR THE LOVE OF DOG, thank you times a million! If not, you can snag yours wherever you love to buy books!

I feel like I’ve been talking about this book nonstop, but just the other day a long time colleague said to me, “Wait?! You have a BOOK coming out?”

So, just in case you’ve missed the news OR if you want some more details, I’ll share the synopsis, an early review, and info on where to buy or share below.

Synopsis

Dogs and humans are buddies on an evolutionary scale. Our histories intertwine so inextricably that we can’t separate our lifelines from theirs over the past 20,000 years. But, despite those tens of thousands of years of coevolution, it turns out we still have a lot to learn from dogs. (They, however, have us pretty well figured out.)

As a shy introvert and hard-core people pleaser, I wanted to move through life unseen. Invisible. So, when I adopted three dogs you simply couldn’t ignore–Emmett, a gentle giant pit bull; Lucas, a three-legged shepherd mix; Cooper, a wiry and neurotic staffie–they blew my cover. As we tackled anxiety, cross-country moves, stray kittens, dog bites, and cancer (all of us), I learned to advocate for them. In turn, they helped me find my voice. To root our story in science, FOR THE LOVE OF DOG weaves together research on dog behavior and canine cognition with my experience with my boys. This book gets to the heart of why we first fell in love with dogs, why we still love them thousands of years later, and why they've always loved us right back. Prepare to look at your own pup in a whole new light.

Review

Yes, there is also a 1 ⭐ review, but I’m choosing to ignore that one for now. Here’s the review I’m going to print and hang above my desk!

This is exactly what I wanted the book to do, so… PHEW.

Where to Buy

So, now that it is officially out, you can hopefully find it wherever books are sold! I strongly recommend checking in with your local independent bookstores or your public library, and if online is better for you, here are some links:

• Amazon

• Bookshop.org

• Barnes and Noble

• Books-A-Million

If you’re in the Indy area, I hope to see you for the launch party on Thursday!

Thank you for taking the time to read and to support this project. Many of you have been around since the dawn of OMD, and I can’t even begin to thank you for sharing your dogs with me over the years. So much more to come, of course, but this book… whew… it means a lot to me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I almost hesitate to tell this story, but it’s too funny (in retrospect) to not.

I’ve been trying to line up podcasts, book reviews, blog posts, literally anything and anyone who is willing to cover FOR THE LOVE OF DOG. The launch is only one week away (gulp.) and this pre-order period is so wildly important.

So, I logged in last week to be interviewed for a TV segment. I was super excited. They told me I had 10 minutes and would ask a few questions and see where it goes. I had notes and spent the morning rehearsing possible answers to potential questions.

Almost exactly halfway through the interview, after they asked me a whole bunch of questions specifically about dog training, it dawned on me: They’re not talking about my book.

At least, if they were, they hadn’t looked at any of the materials I’d sent along because the questions were all hyper-specific about dog training. Like, “What do you think of XYZ method?” and “What is there new to say about dog training?”

Um.

Here’s the thing: I write about every topic related to dogs under the sun and have done so since 2009. Is it plausible I’ve written about those specific topics? Of course! Is it possible I wrote about those specific topics in my book and simply forgot? I mean, probably not. But… I guess… maybe?

Nah. Probably not.

So, I think I did a full 10-minute interview with a broadcaster who was talking about someone else’s book. Turns out, there are many with similar or identical titles… maybe they googled that and wrote questions from an incorrect summary? Or they were just winging it because they didn’t read my materials?

Either way, I think I did okay, all things considered? Like, maybe you wouldn’t know if you didn’t know me or haven’t read my book? Maybe? Or maybe that’s just me being very hopeful because I kinda blacked out during the second half. 🤦‍♀

It was certainly a very strange experience, but I guess it’s all part of book marketing! Has anything like that ever happened to you?!?! Tell me I’m not alone…

Book News

Well, here’s something fun: FOR THE LOVE OF DOG is available in paperback, ebook, and soon audiobook, too! I got to listen to audio auditions for potential narrators and picked one I think is going to be perfect. I’ll share as soon as I have it!

Subscriber News

Years ago, I created a blogging workbook that then served as the foundation for a number of talks I gave at conferences. It’s less relevant to my work these days since I’m not doing as many events and talks, so I don’t have an opportunity to share it as much. So, I decided to make it free, along with two additional related free downloads, and put them in the subscriber folder. Once there, you’ll see a subfolder of writing and blogging downloads.

That’s all for now!

If you haven’t pre-ordered yet, I would be so grateful if you would! And the window for the free pre-order stickers and bookmarks to be mailed out is closing on September 12, so fill in your form stat. It applies for requesting your library acquire a copy, too.

Take good care, everyone!

What a dumb question, right?

The hours are bad. The pay is low. You deal with poop and pee a thousand times a day. It’s physically and emotionally intense.

You get yelled at by the public for your adoption fees, for not having puppies, for the audacity of an adoption application.

You get yelled at by the guy coming to pick up his lost cat who is horrified that he has to pay a fine to get the cat back and then decides she’s not worth the $30 and leaves. (True story.)

At the end of the day, the budgets are tight, the community pantry is empty—again, and another litter of kittens is dumped in a beer box in the parking lot.

Meanwhile, every time you open social media, you see your shelter referred to as a “kill shelter.”

As if any of those euthanasias are because of YOU.

They’re not.

They’re because of the rest of us, even the ones extolling the value of “no kill.”

The reasons are different in every community: not enough donations or a big enough tax support. People are afraid to adopt bully breeds. No one wants the old dogs or disabled cats. And then when you make pet adoptions free to clear the shelters, people are furious that you’re giving away animals to dog fighters or poor people. (For real. Read the comments on this post or on this one. It’s unbelievable.)

Maybe some are relinquished because of a bite history because the people didn’t manage or train the dog appropriately or because of poor breeding or because they were kept on a chain in a yard and left alone for too long.

Or the cat is handed over for not using the litter box or for scratching the new sofa.

And the shelter runs out of money, time, space.

Then what?

Open-admission shelters can’t turn any animal away, even the sick ones or the injured ones or the dog bite ones. So, they are labeled as “kill shelters” because they are forced to euthanize.

A limited-admission shelter can turn animals away and so can turn away animals for lack of space, health, behavior, and so on. These are labeled “no kill.”

Just the other day, I saw a series of comments on a post about a dog desperate to get out of an animal shelter, and the comments were along the vein of: This poor baby. Someone needs to get him fast. He’s stuck in a kill shelter. Adopt him before they kill him.

How do you think those shelter volunteers feel? They’re working furiously reaching out to rescues, to transports, creating social media posts, photographing the dogs, writing up profiles, doing all the things to help that dog find a home. And the response is: Someone do something before they kill this dog.

Language matters.

No one is out to kill shelter dogs and cats.

Everyone is doing their absolute best.

Instead of saying “don’t donate to a kill shelter!" or “support no kill!” pull that thread, unravel it all the way backwards until you land on the systemic issues that force shelters to euthanize.

Contribute YOUR time, talent, and money to advocate for bully breeds, for seniors, for disabled animals. Donate to community pet pantries. Volunteer to walk dogs to get them out in public to meet potential adopters or play with cats to help socialize them to humans.

But stop calling them kill shelters. The simplest thing you can do is shift your terminology from a “kill shelter” to an “open admission shelter,” from “no kill” to “limited admission.”

That’s it. Have compassion for the workers toiling away cleaning cages a thousand times a day, trying desperately to find homes for animals no one wants.

We can do better, and it can start by simply changing how you speak about these shelters.

BTW, if you like philosophical discussions about animal rescue and the role we humans play in animal welfare, check out chapter two in my forthcoming book, FOR THE LOVE OF DOG.

This post brought to you by my absolute ire at a recent Facebook thread. Stepping down off this soapbox now…

Hug your pets, friends.