When I was younger and in my evangelical bubble, I would hear people say, “I’m spiritual but not religious.” My religious teachers at the time would tell me that people who said that were looking for a cop-out - a way to ignore important religious doctrine associated with Christianity. Since I had been raised to believe that Christianity was the “one true religion”, I didn’t really question their explanation of that phrase back then.

However, as I grew older and started reexamining all the religious doctrine I had been taught (and taught not to question), I came to a new conclusion about the “spiritual but not religious” group. And just to be clear, that’s a pretty large group nowadays! In a recent study, 22% of U.S. adults identify as SBNR. And it appears to be growing. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that this growth coincides with an overall decline in church membership and traditional religious affiliations. Here’s an article with more data on this if you are curious: https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2017/09/06/more-americans-now-say-theyre-spiritual-but-not-religious/

Have I entered the SBNR group? No, I won’t say that. (Not yet anyway!) I still practice certain religious beliefs, even though that looks very different these days than it used to. However, sometimes I think my religious zeal in the past got in the way of my spirituality. I was so focused on my efforts to please God in my younger years, I think I actually missed hearing God’s voice.

I’ve spent the last few years away from practicing any one specific religion. And honestly, I feel closer to God than I ever have.

I’m not saying there is anything wrong with healthy religion. Richard Rohr has a famous quote that I like a lot:

Too many times, we focus on the religion and not the moon. I know I did for many, many years. If someone asked me about my faith, I would tell them about my belief system, “I’m a practicing Christian who believes that Jesus Christ was the son of God and he came to earth to die for my sins. I follow the teachings of Jesus and the Holy Bible.” I now realize I was telling them about my religion, not my relationship with God. Turns out, they are truly two different things.

A healthy religion can be a container of sorts.

“Spiritual disciplines are only a means to transformation, not the transformation itself.” — Pete Wilson, Empty Promises

The problem I had with my religion is that it became more of a sin management program than it was a path towards a true connection with God. I was taught to be highly focused on not sinning instead of allowing the Divine Spirit to guide me.

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A friend sent me a little clip of a podcast that was talking about Enneagrams the other day. The hosts didn’t know for sure but “typed” Dolly as possibly an Enneagram 9. (This was taped before her passing.) As a fellow “9”, I was happy to listen to their description of her and how they typed her as a 9. I must admit, my ego secretly hoped to see similarities between us and how we lived our lives. Who wouldn’t want to be in the same category as Dolly??? ;-)

In describing her, they said she was a “successful human being.” That stuck out to me. They didn’t say she was a successful singer, a successful songwriter, a successful actor, or a successful businesswoman. Yes, she was all of those things, but they said she was a “successful human being.”

How do we succeed at being human?

I’ve only been around Dolly a couple of times, but I have some friends (and some family) who have worked with her off and on for years. I’d love to tell a quick story about her that I witnessed that has always stuck in my mind.

The year was 1990. Dolly and Kenny Rogers were about to embark on their second tour together in the round. Did any of you go to one of those shows? The stage was a huge octagon ramp that Dolly and Kenny would walk around, with the band in a pit down in the center of it. Here’s a video of them performing “Real Love” with clips from that tour:

Anyway, it was opening night in Vancouver at a huge arena. My then-husband was in her band and I had flown out to see the show. I was sitting out in one of the seats during their 4pm soundcheck that afternoon, thrilled to be watching a bit of the “behind the scenes” of these two legends.

The band was all tuned up and ready to go down in the pit. Dolly walked up onto the stage promptly at 4pm. No Kenny. So everyone waited. And waited. And waited. I can’t remember what time Kenny finally showed up but he was late and Dolly wasn’t happy about it. With her hand on her hip and her live microphone on so that everyone in the whole arena could hear she said, “Well, well, well — if it isn’t Mr. Kenny Rogers finally showing up to grace us all with his presence!” You can imagine her tone. Dolly never had a mean tone to her voice, but you could tell she wasn’t happy. She then went on to scold superstar KENNY ROGERS over a LIVE MIC about how rude it was for him to make everyone wait on him. She said something like, “If this is how this tour is gonna go, it might as well end tonight!”

Dolly always had that tone to her voice where you couldn’t tell if she was kidding around or being serious, but we all instinctively knew in that moment that she wasn’t kidding around. Everyone in the arena completely stopped what they were doing and froze - waiting for King Kenny to respond. Kenny stared at Dolly for a moment, then said, “You’re absolutely right, Dolly. I’m so sorry I made you wait.” That’s when Dolly really sat him straight. “Me?? I’m not talking about me, Kenny. I’m talking about all these hard-working people who have come here today to help you and I make this first concert a big success. Our band down here. (she point down into the pit). Our sound crew, our lighting crew (she throws her hand around in the area pointing towards them). All the people here in this venue who are cleaning it and preparing it so that our fans can have a wonderful experience tonight. (she circles around, gesturing towards the whole venue). I’m not worried about little ‘ol me, I’m concerned for them. If we aren’t going to be professional enough to show up when we are supposed to, then what does that say to them about how serious we are about putting on a good show tonight?”

Again, Kenny waited a beat, obviously a bit dumbfounded at being scolded by the tiny blond with the big hair and big… boobs (sorry, I had to say it! LOL) Then with a look on his face like he had just been scolded by his Mom, he sincerely looked out at all the band, crew, and venue workers and humbly said, "Dolly’s right everyone. I’m so sorry. This won’t happen again.” Dolly walked over to Kenny, gave him a big hug then said with a smile, “Ok, now. Thank you, Kenny. Now let’s get this show on the road! Hit it band!”

They didn’t called her THE QUEEN for nothing! LOL You didn’t mess around with Dolly, not even Kenny Rogers! Dolly was a “successful human being”, not because she was famous, but because she cared about everyone and wanted everyone, no matter their status in life, to be treated as equals.

As a Christian, when I think of past successful human beings, I obviously think of Jesus. Yes, he was said to be God-incarnate, but he was also described as “fully human.” Christians focus so much on how Jesus came to earth to die on the cross for our sins, but I really think it was just as much about God coming to earth to show us what being a success at “human-ing” looks like too. I mean, just read the Old Testament and you can tell humanity as a whole wasn’t doing too well. God probably just said, “Ok, fine! I guess I’ll have to just come down there myself and show you guys how it’s supposed to be done.” And so Jesus did.

I think that may be the whole point of our journey here on earth. We are given this time to become the kind of humans that God envisioned us to be when God created us. We live, we learn, we fail, we try again…. and again, and again. But when it’s all said and done and our time on earth comes to an end, we hope people look at our lives and say, “They did it! They were a good, successful human.”

Exactly one week before Dolly passed, I got a call that my brother, Randy had passed away. Only 57 yrs of age with a loving wife and a beautiful 15 yr old daughter. It was sudden and unexpected. One minute he was still here with us, and then suddenly - he wasn’t. It was a shock to our systems. Disbelief, numbness, and deep grief somehow all rolled into one weird emotion.

My brother was another “successful human being” and you can tell by how so many are affected by his passing. For a glimpse at how special he was, here is his obituary, beautifully written by his wonderful wife, Alicia: https://www.dignitymemorial.com/obituaries/houston-tx/mark-zamora-13011260

What do you think it means to be a successful human being?

I’ve heard many Christians say that their greatest hope is that when they get to heaven they hear the words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” I think that is their version of feeling like their life was a successful one. But honestly, sometimes I see people get off track in their quest for “serving God” and turn into… ummm… well, NOT successful human beings. They become judgmental, vengeful, self-righteous and fearful. But they think they are doing the things God wants them to do.

I just can’t imagine standing before God when my time has come and hearing him say any of the following:

“Well done! You made sure those desperate people who came into your country illegally were arrested, separated from everything they know and love, and were punished properly for their actions! I’m so proud of you!"

“Well done! You made sure all the homosexuals were made to feel sinful, bad and unloved by you and most importantly, unloved by Me! You Rock!”

“Well done! You made sure you had everything you needed from the earth, even though it was depleting the nature I made for you to enjoy. Way to go!”

“Well done! You made sure your country was put first over all the other countries in the world. Good job!”

“Well done! You found the one right church that had all the correct interpretations of The Bible and believed in the only right way to get to heaven. You are amazing!”

I could go on and on, but you get the point.

I think God is going to be much more impressed with how we treated the hurting, the marginalized, the broken… and even our perceived “enemies” than anything else when we finish our time here on earth.

Dolly didn’t ever talk about her politics, but she sure lived them out. It was in the way she chose to donate her money, time and resources to make the world a better place. It was in the way she loved and treated everybody. It was in the way she fought for better treatment of nature (especially her beloved Smoky Mountains). Dolly loved what God loved and it showed.

There have been many Dolly quotes that people have been sharing online. One quote I read said that she looked for the “God-light” in everyone and everything. I thought that was beautiful. If we all did that (looked for the “God-light” in each other ), oh how different the world would be.

Dolly loved people. All people. And she lived her life that way. She didn’t judge. She didn’t put people into categories or treat them as “others.” Everyone was equal in her eyes.

My brother, Randy was the same way. I never heard him talk badly about others. He wasn’t really religious, but he definitely had that “God-light” in him. It showed in how he loved and treated those around him. He was a devoted husband and son — and a loving brother. Our family will deeply miss him. If you are inclined, please keep our family in your prayers as we lay him to rest next week in Houston.

To wrap this up, I think the big test towards whether we succeed at being human is this:

How well did we love what God loves? How well did we treat God’s Creations? And I mean All of God’s Creations. God’s humans. God’s animals. God’s mountains, oceans, rivers, fields, trees, flowers and bugs. Yes, even God’s bugs. (I’m not saying I don’t kill a bug now and then, but I do find myself apologizing to them for my part in their demise and thanking them for their service while here on earth. Might sound a little funny to you, but try it. Being respectful for a spider’s time here on earth actually might spread out into other areas of your life. If I can show honor to a spider, how can I not show honor to a human that annoys me (or maybe even wants to harm me) too? DON’T LAUGH! I AM SERIOUS! TRY IT!)

When our loved ones pass on, I think the best way we can honor them is by trying to take their best qualities and embody them ourselves as best we can. Do what they would do if they were still here. I’ve seen people on social media now wearing WWDD bracelets (what would Dolly do). Some fundamental Christians might clutch their pearls over that, but I say whatever it takes for you to make loving choices, go for it. Personally, I don’t think you can go wrong by using Dolly as a role model!

Or my sweet brother, Randy. He wasn’t famous like Dolly, but he was one of the good ones too.

May we all try to be one of the good ones. To be successful at being human. And to honor the God-light in each and every one of us.

Love ya’ll… M

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He had recently read an article about him that was critical and hurtful. Much of Roger’s work was based around helping children (and adults, really) learn how to name and manage their complex emotions, but on this day, he was struggling to manage his own. So he wrote to a dear friend for help.

That friend was Henri Nouwen.

Nouwen was a Dutch theologian, professor and Catholic priest. Rogers was an American television personality, Presbyterian minister and author. The two men were friends for many years, communicating often via phone calls and letters. Two kindred spirits who encouraged and valued one another. I never would have thought that two men living on opposite sides of the Atlantic Ocean could have become close friends and comrades in those days (before Facetime and Zoom), but they clearly did.

But back to that article that had Rogers feeling disheartened.

He sent the article to Nouwen and expressed his feelings about it. Nouwen’s reply is a masterclass in how to respond to someone in Roger’s situation.

Dear Fred,

I have just returned from Europe where I received permission from my Bishop to stay at L’Arche. I am now back here hoping to settle more definitely and find a new rhythm of life that is a little more livable than what I have had in the past. I read the article you sent me and can very well understand how much that must have hurt you. It must be really painful to be confronted with a total misunderstanding of your mission and your spiritual intentions.

It is these little persecutions within the church that hurt the most. I simply hope that you are not too surprised by them. They come and will keep coming precisely when you do something significant for the Kingdom. It has always struck me that the real pain comes often from the people from whom we expected real support. It was Jesus’ experience and the experience of all the great visionaries in the Church, and it continues to be the experience of many who are committed to Jesus.

I don’t think it makes much sense to argue with the writer of this article. He speaks from a very different plane and will not be open to your explanations. Some of the criticisms we simply have to suffer and see as invitations to enter deeper into the heart of Jesus. I won’t send you some of the reviews I get of my books, but some are not very different from the tone of this piece. So I certainly feel a unique solidarity with you.

Let us pray for each other, that we remain faithful and not become bitter and that we continue to return to the center where we can find the joy and peace that is not of this world. Thanks so much for staying in touch with me.

Much love,

Henri Nouwen

I call this a master class because it has all the elements of a measured and healthy response to someone’s pain.

1. Acknowledgment: We want to feel seen in our pain. In the first paragraph he greets his friend, briefly fills him in on what life is like for him right now in Europe, and then quickly gets to the reason for Rogers’ letter. He acknowledges how much the criticism Rogers received must have hurt and offers true sympathy for his situation.

2. Empathy and solidarity: We want to feel understood. The second paragraph is a doozy. This lets us know that the criticism Rogers received was from someone who was also Christian. Someone within the church, as Nouwen writes. He then reminds Rogers that when we are speaking truth to power, we will almost always have someone who tries to shut us down. Usually it’s someone who has much to lose if your message gets any louder. And then he reminds Rogers that the same thing happened to Jesus.

3. Advice: We want wise advice from trusted friends. In the third paragraph, he offers some wise advice. He basically says, “Don’t waste your time trying to argue with this guy. He’s unreachable right now.” Nouwen is reminding Rogers of the famous saying in Matthew 7:6: "Do not throw your pearls to pigs." It means you shouldn’t waste valuable things - like good advice, deep truths, or even sacred teachings - on people who cannot understand them and will only disrespect, mock or argue with you. Then Nouwen closes this paragraph with an expression of solidarity, letting Rogers know he isn’t alone.

4. Encouragement: We want to feel hope for the future. Finally, in the last paragraph, he gives a bit more advice, but also encourages Rogers. He also asks him to keep in touch, letting Rogers know his friendship to him matters.

As you can see, it’s not a long letter, but it sure packs a punch! What a gift for words that Nouwen had.

I love the advice Nouwen gives in that last paragraph… resist bitterness, seek inner peace, and return to the center. It gave me pause, though. Return to what center? The center of ourselves? The center of The Divine Spirit? The center of… everything?

So, I started probing a bit. Google AI told me that “When Henri Nouwen told Fred Rogers to "return to the center," he meant anchoring oneself in Jesus and God’s unconditional love rather than reacting to public criticism.”

Seems like the “center” is LOVE in its purest sense. Don’t let the criticism from other people or the harshness of this world change who you are at your core. You are God’s beloved. Don’t forget that. Always return there.

That’s good, simple advice - but not always easy, right?

It’s a great case for the work of self-discovery… for finding our true selves. We have to know who we are at our core to return there over and over. We have to know the path. Then life becomes more of a labyrinth rather than a maze.

In the David G. Benner book, The Gift of Being Yourself, he writes:

“The goal of the spiritual journey is the transformation of self.”1

“Finding our true, unique self is, as noted by Thomas Merton, the problem on which all our existence, peace and happiness depend. Nothing is more important, for if we find our true self we find God, and if we find God, we find our most authentic self.”2

Simply put, finding our true selves and finding God are one and the same. It’s important work and I believe what our journey here on earth is all about.

QUESTION: What does “return to the center” mean to you? And how do you do this important work in your life?

Love ya’ll… M

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What I’m reading this week:

I’ve been hearing about this book for a while now, but since I never considered myself a “wild woman” (I’ve always tried to be the good girl!), I was hesitant to dive in.

Turns out, it’s every bit as good as everyone says it is.

It’s making me realize that maybe being “wild” isn’t about being reckless at all. Instead, it’s more about rediscovering the parts of ourselves we’ve tucked away to meet everyone else’s expectations.

Loving this book so far.

Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés.

I don’t know about you, but some days before I can even get out of bed, I start to wonder what kind of chaos the day is going to bring. It seems like the whole world is on fire right now. If you watch the news for more than five minutes, you're almost guaranteed to see another story of horror or heartbreaking injustice. Even when those events are happening thousands of miles away, you can still feel the weight of them. Our bodies and emotions are not made to take in this constant onslaught of atrocities. Eventually, it will damage us emotionally, psychologically, and even physically.

I just finished reading Tish Harrison Warren’s new book, What Grows in Weary Lands. (I really enjoyed it!) In one chapter, she writes about how when life becomes a bit overwhelming, we usually react in one of three ways. Flame out, numb out, or go deep. She explains it like this:

“To flame out is the most dramatic option. This is when people, feeling trapped, try to escape by exploding their own lives without much thought of the collateral damage. This is the stuff that people gossip about: the affairs, the arrests, the public meltdowns, the scandals.

To numb out, the most common response, is when we simply anesthetize ourselves through food, drink, work, shopping, screens, or easy comforts. It’s the little avoidances, the little addictions, the little denials that build a pattern.

And then, by God’s grace, there’s the third option: Go deep. To go deep into God, into mystery, into self-understanding, into repentance, into relationships with others, into the practice of faith.”1

Personally, I have done all three at different stages in my life. I flamed out in my younger years, not having the emotional capacity to deal with my unhappiness in any other way. Man, oh man, I had some spectacular flame outs! Ugh. #embarrassing

Then came the numbing out stage. Honestly, I still find myself there some days. Scrolling through endless funny pet reels on Instagram feels much kinder to my nervous system than paying attention to what’s on fire all around me. But the truth is, it isn't really helping me—or anyone else. It may offer a temporary escape, but it also keeps me from engaging with the world in meaningful ways. Over time, that kind of avoidance stunts my growth and quietly shapes who I am becoming in ways I don't like.

So that leaves the third option - going deep.

“To go deep means looking with unflinching honesty at the truth of things - the pain in our lives, the sins and weaknesses in ourselves and those around us. It means learning to receive anew the love of God and the rich goodness of life.

To go deep requires us to remain with difficult questions, relationships, practices and commitments, while also remaining alive to God and to ourselves. It requires us to learn to exist, and to thrive, in places of incompleteness, unfulfillment, liminality, and uncertainty.”2

Going deep isn’t easy. It’s seriously hard work. At times I feel like a scuba diver, swimming deeper and deeper, looking for some mysterious treasure at the bottom of the ocean, where it’s cold and dark and even scary. Some days I feel like I’m going to run out of oxygen in my tank and I have to fight off panic. My body is tense while I hold my breath as long as I can - desperately searching for whatever I’m looking for. Those are my white knuckling days.

But on other days, it’s easier to give into the deep. I remind myself that I can come up for air anytime and to just look around and take in the marvelous view. That’s when I usually find a treasure. I’ll come across some glorious little nugget of wisdom, or enlightenment, or “ah-ha” moment that makes me smile. The fear is gone and replaced with genuine delight.

One thing I’ve discovered about myself in going deep is that I can’t go wide at the same time. I think of my life as a body of water. If you pour a cup of water on a large serving platter, the water will spread out very thin, almost seeming to disappear. But if you pour that same cup of water into a glass, you will see it takes a much different shape - now it’s deeper and clearer. I don’t want my life to disappear right before my eyes, so I’ve narrowed my container, so to speak, so I can see it with more clarity.

I find I have much less bandwidth for shallow and wide in anything - work, conversations, and even relationships. Don’t get me wrong, I have a wide berth of friends and I’m grateful for that. However, although each relationship holds a special space, they are not all the same, and don’t all carry the same weight. I save my deepest self for fewer people these days. Only for those who are willing to go deep with me. Those are the friendships and conversations that give me life and help fill up my container when I’m feeling dry. Those are the relationships that help bring me peace in this chaotic world. Those are the friends who keep encouraging me to grow and learn and question and wrestle with all of life’s great mysteries. And I’m so very grateful for them.

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I posted this clip on my Instagram the other day from a recent conversation between Amy Poehler and Anne Lamott on Amy’s podcast Good Hang with Amy Poehler. Amy begins by talking about how crazy the word can seem all around us and asks Anne to read a passage that she wrote when she was turning 68 yrs old. Anne reads about the importance of friendships for keeping ourselves grounded and at peace. I think many of you will resonate with her sentiments.

You can watch the entire episode here:

So, what about you? When life hits you hard, do you tend to flame out, numb out, or go deep? And what does “going deep” mean to you?

Love ya’ll… M

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I’ve been doing a lot of driving lately, so I’ve been listening to audio books to help pass the time. A recent favorite is the new memoir by David Archuleta title Devout: Losing My Faith to Find Myself. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

There are so many layers to his story, from his Mormon upbringing to his time on American Idol, his struggles with anxiety, accepting his queerness, deconstructing his faith and more. I loved listening to him tell his story, plus on audio you get to hear three songs from his new EP of the same name Devout. One of those songs in particular titled Stay is especially poignant once you know his story.

While David’s story is unique to him, there are themes in the book that many of us can relate to. Listening to how committed he was for so many years to his Mormon faith is inspiring and at the same time frustrating. You can see the brainwashing at work, and you can see all the damage it has done to him and others. When we believe wholeheartedly that our chosen religion is the only way to please God, it can cause deep distress when the dissonance between what it is teaching doesn’t match up with how those teachings are playing out in real life. And many, many times, those religious teachings do not bear “good fruit.” The branches from those religious teachings are bearing stinky, rotten, poisonous fruit. Both in our society and in our souls.

Too many religions preach the prosperity gospel. It’s basically a formula. If you do A, you will get B.

If you tithe, you will be blessed financially.

If you pray, God will perform miracles.

If you don’t have sex before marriage, your union will be blessed.

If you go to church every Sunday, God will reward you.

If you live your life in a way that is pleasing to God, you will go to heaven when you die.

I could go on and on, but you get the picture. It’s a rewards-based system and really has nothing to do with the gospel of Jesus.

Religion says that if we obey God, he will love us.

The Gospel says that God loves us, period.

How did so many of us fall for this false religion? Maybe it’s because we were all desperate for a way to know that we are “saved.” The formula felt clear. It was something we could hold onto.

Or maybe it was our egos. It felt good to know that we were in the “in crowd.” We were the “moral majority.” We were the ones chosen to save the world with our beautiful testimonies and discipleship. What a calling we had! (Weren’t we special?)

It could have been family pressure. It’s how we were raised to believe and by golly, unless we wanted to be kicked out of our family, or our communities, we better just believe what we are told to believe and not doubt.

Another reason is fear. We are so freaking afraid of being sent to hell when we die that we just keep believing the lies, eating the stinky fruit, and staying in line. Fear is a very motivating factor.

But back to David Archuleta. I’ve never heard anyone so sincere in his desire to please God and his religious leaders. He truly loved the Lord and felt called to bring others to God. But man, when the religious bullshit started being uncovered, there was no way to overlook it anymore. God bless that young man. I honestly didn’t know much about him before I started listening to his memoir, but he truly stole my heart. I’m a big fan now.

So religion is bad, right? No, not at all.

I think there are many beautiful aspects of religion. I know many religious people who are exceptional human beings and their religious beliefs are part of what makes them who they are. Those beliefs are part of their beauty, their stories, and their humanity.

Some research suggests that religion provides essential mental, physical, and societal benefits, including improved stress management (through practices like prayer and meditation), a strong sense of purpose (make disciples of all people), strong social bonds (helps with loneliness), community support (who doesn’t want a casserole when they are sick, right?), and healthier habits (discourages any substance abuse). I know many who are thriving within their religion.

But I also know many who didn’t… and aren’t.

There is a famous Buddhist teaching called “The Finger and the Moon.” It compares teachings and language to a finger pointing at the moon, while the actual moon stands for the real truth. Richard Rohr has a quote that is similar to that Buddhist teaching:

I think sometimes we mistake religion for God. We put our faith in our religion, in our belief system, in our certainty, rather than in the mysterious ways of Christ. I call God’s ways mysterious because, well, aren’t they?? I mean, honestly! No one knows the full mind or ways of God and if someone says they do, I say beware.

Christians believe that Jesus had the full mind of Christ (God incarnate), and even Jesus turned scripture upside-down and sideways. These were scriptures that the religious scholars of that day were holding up to standards above scrutiny, but Jesus said, “Hold on just a minute here… let’s re-think this. ‘Eye for an eye?’ - nawwwww. ‘Hate your enemy?’ - nope. ‘Don’t heal someone on the Sabbath?’ - that’s just crazy talk!”

When religious beliefs are held so tightly that they cause harm to others, (again, I highly recommend you read David Archuleta’s story for starters) then you have to think that you are starting to worship fingers and not the moon.

I’ll end with a quote from David Dark’s book, The Sacredness of Questioning Everything, which I now believe we are called upon to do.

...Religion can, and should be, objected to, questioned, and talked about. Contrary to many adherents who demand unquestioning respect for their faith, religion is perfectly and wonderfully objectionable. In fact, what else in life could be more worthy of objection? Interestingly, most religious traditions are constantly objecting to themselves over the decades and centuries, challenging old categories with new, religious proclamations. This is how religions work. Devastating criticism of religion is always part of religion. The religiously faithful aren’t just permitted to critique and complain and reform; they’re bound to do as much by religion. Without it, there is no faithfulness. (pp. 33-34)

What does faithfulness look like to you these days? Have you ever been criticized for being skeptical about some of the beliefs taught within your chosen religion? Did that criticism shut down your curiosity, or did it strengthen it?

Tell me everything….

Love, M

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What I’m reading this week:

The Fifth Season: Creativity in the Second Half of Life by Mark Nepo. This is one I’ve been reading slowly for a while now. I’ve been journaling through it and wow. This one has literally been life-changing for me during this season of my life. If you, like me, are entering into your “wisdom years” as I like to call it, I think you’ll find some nuggets of gold in this book.

“In Chinese lore, the fifth season is late summer, when the glare is gone and only the color of things as they are can reach us. This tender bareness of being means we are close to what matters. For the fifth season of late light marks what the Chinese call the Heavenly Pivot, a turning point in life in which knowledge is worn into knowing, watching into joining, seeking into being, and struggling with truth is worn into inhabiting the truth of struggle.” —Nepo, Mark. The Fifth Season: Creativity in the Second Half of Life (pp. xix-xx). (Function). Kindle Edition.

And yet, he strayed.

Her heart was shattered, but she stayed with him. That’s what a good Christian woman does, right? She bought Stormie Omartian’s book, The Power of the Praying Wife, and believed that with enough love, patience, and prayer, she could save her marriage. She could change her husband, just like Stormie did. She was determined to keep her family intact and she believed God was going to help make that happen.

Except, of course, that didn’t happen. The divorce went through and she was left feeling worse than ever.

Her blame shifted daily.

Some days she blamed him. He was weak, addicted, self-absorbed, narcissistic, unfaithful and a fraud.

Some days she blamed herself. She didn’t pray hard enough, try hard enough. She wasn’t loveable as she was. Why didn’t she see who he really was before she married him? How could she have been so deceived?

And some days… well, she blamed God. How could God let this happen to her when she had done everything right? She checked off all the boxes. Why weren’t her prayers being answered? Why was God ignoring her cries for help?

This is not one woman’s story. It’s a story I have heard and seen play out over and over again around me. And it shows the problem with Christian prescriptives, especially in this case, the lie of purity culture.

Purity culture tells women that if they don’t have sex before marriage, if they keep themselves “pure” for their future husband, they will be rewarded for it. They will have a wonderful marriage and family that God will protect because of her faithfulness. But we know it doesn’t always work that way. Life happens. Sometimes we “save” ourselves for that perfect guy who doesn’t turn out to be perfect at all. He might even turn out to be neglectful, absent, even abusive. So, what then?

Now the new “prescription” is to pray about it. If you pray hard enough, and just believe enough, God will show up to fix your broken marriage. You’ll hear things like, “God is in the miracle business! Keep praying for that miracle!” or “God will show you how to love him back to the family” or even “God won’t let Satan destroy what He brought together”. I’m sorry, but sometimes marriages just fall apart and there is no praying that will fix them. Sadly, this “praying wife” business just puts all the responsibility on the wife to “fix” the marriage with her prayers and her actions. Actions like, “give him more/better sex”, “make sure he comes home to a delicious dinner and clean home”, “make sure you look attractive for him” etc… And when this prescription for fixing your marriage doesn’t work (just like the purity culture prescription didn’t work) you’re left feeling confused, bitter, and maybe even jaded about God in general.

I’m not saying prayer doesn’t work. I wholeheartedly believe in the power of prayer! But not so much in the way I used to. I just don’t use prayer in my own life as a way to change outcomes so much these days, but more to comfort and heal when outcomes don’t go our way.

When we are taught that if we live right and pray hard enough then we can change the outcomes around us, we are bound to be let down. God isn’t a genie in a bottle, ready to give us our heart’s desires if we just do all the correct steps. Sometimes life just happens and we get crapped on. Sometimes life is unfair. Sometimes life is overwhelming and messy and erratic and nothing like we thought it would be. And sometimes religion, with all its prescriptives, rituals and guidelines, just doesn’t help.

Here’s the truth: There is no perfect formula for happiness in this life. No religion has it, no matter what they tell you.

However, here’s the good news: There is comfort to be found in all our hurts, messes, and disappointments. God shows up in many different ways to walk alongside us and offer us hope, peace and even joy in the midst of hard circumstances. Sometimes that comes in the form of religious practices. Sometimes it comes in the form of family, friendships, therapists, or spiritual directors.

In my own experience, learning to release all the prescriptives that much of my religion said to rely on has been healing. I’ve stopped looking for the perfect formula to control my outcomes and learned to release those to God. Accepting that life will hit hard some days, no matter what I do, how much I pray, which church I attend etc… has been very freeing. And it’s brought me closer to God. It’s helped me better understand how the Holy Spirit works in us and through us.

Do miracles happen when we pray for them? Maybe. I won’t discount that possibility. But when we over-rely on divine intervention, the majority of us will be let down. Then we are left asking ourselves why God didn’t answer our prayers, which can lead to a crisis of faith and psychological stress.

Unfortunately, some religions lead us to believe that we aren’t true believers if we don’t expect miracles to happen when we pray. And if we do pray for a miracle and it doesn’t happen, it’s certainly not God’s fault. We are told it’s our fault - we “just don’t have enough faith” or “we must have fallen out of favor with God.” (Reminds me of Job’s friends… “what have you done to make God turn his back on you, Job???” Oh, how wrong they were.)

The way I see miracles these days is in the little things. It’s a miracle that I wake up each morning. It’s a miracle that birds know how to fly, trees know how to grow, the sun rises and sets every day. It’s a miracle to me when I’m feeling down and suddenly a friend calls, saying I was on her mind and wanted to check on me. It’s a miracle that my alcoholic friend stays sober one day at a time, or that I’ve learned to forgive those that have hurt me, or that a little bit of love can turn someone’s life around.

So yes, I do believe in miracles. I see them happening every day. I just don’t think prayer always leads to miracles… like saving marriages, healing incurable diseases, curing addictions, or making someone love you.

What about you? Have your views on religious prescriptives like purity culture, prayers and miracles changed? I’d love to hear your thoughts?

Love y’all… M

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What I’m reading right now:

What Grows In Weary Lands: On Christian Resilience by Tish Harrison Warren “speaks to anyone longing for a life of depth in a distracted age. Warren helps us see that nothing is wasted—that even in desert seasons something good is growing, rooted in grace and reaching toward glory.”1

If you feel like your faith is stagnant, or that your spiritual disciplines don’t have the same meaning, or even that God seems distant, I think you’ll really enjoy this book. Beautiful writing by a trusted spiritual author.

As someone who grew up as a Southern Baptist, I’m not shocked, but I’m saddened.

The SBC is the world's largest Baptist organization and the largest Protestant denomination in the United States. Although every Southern Baptist church runs independently, there are many reasons why these churches want to be affiliated and in good standing with the SBC, mainly because of what they call the “Cooperative Program” which basically helps smaller churches in financial ways. If you get kicked out of the SBC, you lose access to benefits like the SBC GuideStone Financial Resources retirement plans and insurance benefits. And it separates them from the broader collective identity, ministry partnerships, and pooled resources that many congregations rely on to operate effectively.

Larger churches, like Saddleback church in California, which was expelled from the SBC in 2023 because they have ordained women pastors on staff, can still thrive without the SBC because they have the financial resources to survive without the SBC help, but many SBC churches are small churches and need to pool resources to keep their doors open.

Over the last few years, the SBC has faced an ongoing sexual abuse crisis. Many investigative reports have showed that hundreds of church leaders and volunteers have faced abuse allegations spanning over two decades and affecting hundreds of victims. An independent investigation showed how leaders in the SBC knew about these abuses (even having a secret database for accused ministers). Not only did they cover up these abuses, but they also maligned the victims, effectively abusing them twice. Women, children and even a few men, were ignored, silenced, and sometimes disparaged when they told church leaders about their abuse. If you want to learn more about the SBC sex abuse crisis, here are a couple of great resources to learn more:

How the Southern Baptist Convention covered up its widespread sexual abuse scandal

‘The SBC is dead to me’: Survivors say Southern Baptists have lost their way on abuse reforms

But instead of dealing with the issue of abuse within the church, they chose to focus on a much worse problem: women preaching. Thank God they are tackling that because that has caused SO many problems in our churches! (insert eye roll) Yeah, we have to stop women from preaching the gospel because…. well, because the Bible forbids it, right?

Actually, no. The Bible doesn’t forbid it. Women were preaching the good news of the gospel of Jesus all through the NT, but unfortunately, patriarchal bias influenced many of the interpretations we have now. Also, the Bible was written during a male dominated society and you have to take that into consideration too. “Rules” were made according to the culture. But as we have grown and evolved as human beings, we have realized that many of the “rules” in the Bible shouldn’t apply now. We don’t think it’s ok to marry off our 12 and 13 year old girls. We don’t think it’s ok to have slaves. We don’t think women have to cover their heads when praying. We don’t think women should stay in abusive marriages (well, most of us don’t - some fundamentalists still think they should). We aren’t cool with polygamy, stoning our rebellious children to death, gouging out your right eye if it causes you to sin, etc…. The Word is living and is constantly giving us new discernment and insights as to how we should be behaving as our society evolves.

But back to horrors of women preaching.

This issue is just silly. It’s just patriarchy trying to hold on to as much power as it can. Women have just as much of a connection to God and the Holy Spirit as men do. The Spirit speaks to women, shares insight, wisdom and discernment. Why shouldn’t they be allowed to share that with others in the same way men do? What are the men so afraid of hearing if a woman dares to stand behind a pulpit and share, speak, or prophesy? And who decided that the pulpit is only for men to stand behind? (the answer is men. Men decided that.)

Opponents to women preaching frequently cite 1 Timothy 2:12, where Paul writes, "I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she is to keep silent". Most theologians know that taking one specific verse out of context and ignoring so many other verses that contradict it is bad hermeneutics. That is the case with this verse. For a deeper dive into the context of 1 Timothy 2:12, check out this article written by theologian and biblical historian, Marg Mowczko: Why 1 Timothy 2:12 shouldn’t be used to ban women ministers

Many religions have realized that keeping women out of pulpits is antiquated theology. I know many who have been led by women pastors, preachers, ministers, and prophets and have been blessed by it. Not allowing women to use their spiritual gifting as they are called isn’t helping the church, only hurting it. It doesn’t make sense that God would only give these gifts to men. Will some women make mistakes in this role? Even cause harm? Yes. (Paula White, I’m thinking of you, dear.) But men have made mistakes and caused harm as well - and the men who are trying their best to silence women (half of the church) are doing that now.

Women in the Bible have been overlooked and silenced in so many ways. My friend, Sherry Cothran wrote a wonderful book highlighting some of the amazing and strong women voices in the Bible called, Wild & Holy Women of the Bible: Prophets, Warriors, Harlots & Healers. You should check it out.

Other books I highly recommend to see how women’s voices and roles in the Bible have been truncated, rewritten, or silenced are:

Jesus Feminist: An Invitation to Revisit the Bible’s View of Women by Sarah Bessey.

The Making of Biblical Womanhood: How the Subjugation of Women Became Gospel Truth by Beth Allison Barr.

Tell Her Story: How Women Led, Taught, and Ministered in the Early Church by Nijay K. Gupta

The Bible vs. Biblical Womanhood: How God’s Word Consistently Affirms Gender Equality by Philip Barton Payne

I hope some of those resources will help you if you are struggling with this issue. Much research has been done by many who are much smarter than I am, but I’ve done enough reading and searching and praying about this to know that a great disservice is being done by keeping women out of pulpits. This is just another bad prescription being handed out that sickens people rather than heals them.

It is my prayer that someday soon the SBC will understand the harm they are doing by continuing to hold onto this antiquated theology. It is wrong. It is harmful, both to women and men. And it limits the work of the Holy Spirit.

In Jesus’s name... let it be so.

Love ya’ll… M

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Last December, someone close to me got a respiratory infection which lingered on and on. He finally went to see the doctor, and it was determined the infection had developed into bronchitis, so the doctor prescribed a general antibiotic (amoxicillin), which he had taken numerous times in his life prior to this incident. Unfortunately, this time it created more problems in his body, rather than healing it. This time it triggered a bad reaction - a horrible bacteria growth in his intestines called Clostridioides difficile (commonly known as C. diff.) This medicine which was supposed to heal him has made him sicker than he was before he took the medicine. And here’s the kicker — now that he has had this bad reaction to that medicine, he can’t ever take it again. This medicine, which was so healing for him all his life, will now harm him if he ever takes it again.

Sadly, this is a similar situation to those who have experienced religious abuse.

For many of us, religion used to be our salve when life felt painful. We could rely on Christianese phrases such as, “God won’t give you more than you can handle”, “Everything happens for a reason”, and “God works all things together for the good of those that love Him” to make the difficult parts of life easier. We could pray all the prayers, read our bible verses, and do all the religious rituals that always healed our hurts and helped strengthen our belief that God would fight our battles, fix our problems, or at least bring “beauty out of our ashes.” We could depend on good Christian women bringing over casseroles, pastors praying over us, and a community of like-minded believers to walk alongside us through the dark times.

Yes, all that worked, for a while… until it didn’t anymore. Not only did the “medicine” that used to sustain us stop working, it was actually harming us now. Once you’ve seen the dark side of religion, you can’t unsee it. Once you’ve been abused by a trusted religious leader, your trust of the whole system usually gets blown to bits.

So… what do we do???

Well, we name the thing that’s harming us and walk away toward a better future. We look for a different kind of “medicine” for whatever ailments come our way. Sounds easy, right? But anyone who has announced that the old religious medicine isn’t working for them anymore knows that there is a huge cost that comes along with this new life-change.

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“You don’t want to burn in hell for the rest of eternity when you die… do you?”

It’s no wonder so many of us from fundamental religious backgrounds now have stress disorders. We had the bejeezus scared out of us at a young age. We had to get our belief systems right and live out all the rules within those belief systems perfectly or we might anger God to the point of sending us to hell - to be tortured for eternity.

However, there was one loophole. God would offer us grace if we messed up, but only if we asked for forgiveness. Ok, so we have a “get out of jail free” card! Awesome! But… what if I messed up and died before I asked for forgiveness? What then? Could one mistake cause my soul to be turned away at the pearly gates? I had to be on my toes at all times.

I remember lying in bed at night as a young girl, frantically going over my every action and every thought of that day, making sure I was asking for forgiveness of each and every possible sin I might have committed that day before I could go to sleep. As an adult now, I’m finding out I wasn’t alone in this nightly ritual. Many of my friends who grew up in high-control religious environments did the same thing. The anxiety of it all weighing heavy on our young hearts.

The threat of going to hell when we die if we don’t live “right” has been a powerful motivator in many religious communities. I’ve experienced it within Christianity, but the concept of hell is shared by many religions, including Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, and Jainism. It’s part of the overall battle of good vs. evil in this world that we are all trying to make sense of. We need to know that evil will be punished and good will prevail, if not here on earth, at least in another realm.

But unfortunately, this threat of going to hell if you don’t live “right” has overshadowed the full message of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It has turned the gospel into little more than fire insurance.

This week on The Fresh Start Podcast, we interviewed Pastor Stan Mitchell who talked a bit about how fear-based religions use the threat of hell as a reason to buy into their brand of “fire insurance”. (You can watch our entire interview with Stan on our YouTube channel or listen on any podcast platform.) Here’s a short quote from our interview with him:

“As adults we can spend up to $10,000 - $20,000 buying insurance we don’t plan on using (for ourselves, our families, our homes, cars, equipment etc…) because we can’t afford the catastrophic. So we figure out a reasonable monthly premium and deductible that we can just barely handle, because there are catastrophic things that we can’t handle - like the idea of burning in hell.”

He goes on to explain the problem with the insurance model:

Whose insurance are you gonna buy? The Catholic kind? If so, which one? Byzantine?Maronite? Chaldean & Syro-Malabar? Will you follow the Jesuit order? Franciscan? Dominican?

Or maybe you’ll choose the Protestant kind. If so, which brand of Protestant? Baptist? If so, which brand of Baptist? Freewill? Southern? Reformed? Seventh Day? Or maybe Methodist? If so, which brand of Methodist? United Methodist? Global Methodist? Free Methodist? Or you could choose Lutheran, Episcopalian, Anabaptist, Quaker, Anglican, Pentecostal, Church of Christ etc… (I didn’t bother listing all the different sects of all of these because, gosh, who has the time and you get the point.)

With over 10,000 sects of Christianity around the world, how can you be sure you picked the exact right one who guarantees you entry into heaven? It’s terrifying and overwhelming when you start looking at all the options.

Luckily, you don’t have to worry about that. WHEW! Because picking the right fire insurance is not what the good news of the gospel is really about.

The intense preoccupation with the afterlife—heaven and hell—among some Christians has made them, in many ways, earthly irrelevant. In focusing so heavily on where people will spend eternity, they can lose sight of the heart of the gospel: bringing the Kingdom of Heaven to earth in the here and now by living as Christ lived.

That means loving our neighbors, serving the poor, standing against injustice, and caring for those on the margins. It means cultivating lives marked by the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The gospel is not primarily about manipulating people into conforming to our standards of worthiness. It is about embodying the love and character of Christ so fully that the world catches a glimpse of God’s kingdom through us.

“You’re so heavenly minded, you’re no earthly good” - Johnny Cash

One of the best videos I’ve seen about the preoccupation with heaven and hell and whether or not we can actually affect our outcome for eternity by our actions and beliefs here on earth is by Tim Mackie, of The Bible Project. I’ll link it here and I think it’s a worthy 30 minutes of your time to watch because he really breaks down the problems with the gospel of Jesus becoming little more than fire insurance:

Sadly, most religions have some kind of transactional underbelly to their messaging. “If I do X, God will grant me Y” - but the gospel of Jesus doesn’t say that at all. There are no promises that God works that way.

And the contradictions from so many churches these days is astounding. Are we saved by our works (believing in the correct fire insurance and following all those rules)? Or by Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross? Which is it, because I hear both. Are we fearfully and wonderfully made from our beginnings in the womb, or are we born sinners and separated from God? Again, which is it? Are we blessed by God and in his “favor” when we choose to follow all the rules set up by our particular brand of fire insurance, or are we doomed to be persecuted because of our strong convictions? I mean, c’mon…which is it? Do our blessings show we are living right or is it our persecutions?

I don’t have all the answers, nor do I want or need to these days. It’s actually incredibly freeing to be able to leave so much of the dogma behind. I know many of you have gotten to this place of freedom too, and in my mind, this is the freedom that Paul speaks of in Galatians 5:

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. - Galatians 5:1

Some of the religious requirements from churches equate to a yoke of slavery. It’s too much. I don’t have any desire to spend the rest of my days worrying about all that. I’m content to just get to know God as best I can, live each day with as much love as I can in my heart, and try to embody the fruits of the spirit - which I believe is as close to Christlike as any of us can get.

More mystery - less certainty.

More love - less hate.

More grace - less worthiness.

More compassion - less judgment.

More Christ.

Question: How has the threat of hell affected your relationship with God? I’d love to hear about your experiences!

Love ya’l…. M

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It’s June 1st and the start of Pride month. I live in Tennessee and our Governor, Bill Lee, recently signed a resolution designating June as “Nuclear Family Month” instead of “Pride Month” - but hey, no silly resolution can change the fact that this month, millions of LGBTQ+ humans and their loved ones will celebrate their culture, their history, and how much they are loved.

I am a hopelessly heterosexual female. I say “hopelessly” because I can’t change that fact. I’ll admit there were a few times in my life where I wondered if I could be attracted to another female. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t do it. It is in my deep being to be heterosexual, and I can’t change that about myself. Nor should I have to.

It’s the same for homosexuals. I’ve spoken to many who have tried and tried to change that about themselves. They’ve tried dating the opposite sex. They’ve tried conversion therapy, they’ve tried to “pray the gay away” - all because they didn’t want to be seen as “different.” Many knew they would be ostracized from their Christian communities, lose friends, possibly be disowned by their families, and even put their jobs at risk if they were to allow others to know who they really were. It’s a heartbreaking reality that they lived day in and day out. Always feeling like something deep inside was broken and they couldn’t fix it, no matter how hard they tried.

I’ve had two friends cry puddles of tears while asking me the same question, “Why did God make me like this?” I honestly didn’t know what to say at the time, but now my answer would be, “Because you are beautiful and perfect just the way you are. There is a phrase that many Christians use to try and say that being Queer is a choice: “God doesn’t make mistakes.” And that’s true, God doesn’t, which is why God made you just as you are for a reason. It’s not God that is rejecting you; it’s humans who have bought into bad theology. This is their issue to wrestle with, it’s not yours. You go be you, and stop trying to be anything else. You are loved just as you are.”

I stumbled upon a new book last week by Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez called Conversion Therapy Dropout: A Queer Story of Faith and Belonging and I haven’t been able to put it down. It’s one of the best books I’ve read in a long time. His story is remarkable and his storytelling is top-notch. I think everyone should read this book. Queer people will feel seen. People who love queer people will understand them better. And those who oppose anything to do with LGBTQ+ issues and rights? Well, they really need to read it! Maybe they can learn a bit about the real lives of real people they are oppressing and understand the damage being done. Timothy tells a powerful story in his memoir! (Side note, I’ve been listening to this book on audible and he does a great job narrating his story. If you like audio books, get it!)

ABOUT THE BOOK: “Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez was an invisible architect behind evangelical Christianity's digital empire, crafting messages of belonging for some of the most influential megachurches--Hillsong Church, Elevation Church, Willow Creek--all while secretly questioning his own place within the faith.

Conversion Therapy Dropout is a behind-the-scenes look at megachurch culture, the hidden harm of non-affirming Christian spaces, and the ongoing impact of conversion therapy on gay Christians. This isn't just a coming-out story--it's about what happens after. About rebuilding a life outside the only world you've ever known. And the radical act of stepping into the light after being told your whole life to stay in the shadows. Sometimes, the greatest act of faith isn't holding on--it's letting go.”1

If you are a Christian (or any other religious faith) who opposes LGBTQ+ rights because they think it’s what “the bible says” - then I might challenge you to do some deeper research on the subject. I say this with love, truly. I understand why you believe the way you do, because I used to believe that too. But there came a time when I had to confront my beliefs on that matter and dig deeper. I was tired of living in the tension of knowing my religious beliefs were actively harming people I loved. I couldn’t live there any longer. If you are interested in my journey on how I became an affirming Christian, there is a link to that in a previous blog I wrote: Why Pride?

If you are on a similar journey, I listed some other books you might want to consider reading at the bottom of this blog. I think you’ll find them great resources as you process how the church and their fundamental, literal approach to scripture has gotten it wrong and done harm, rather than heal.

I’m just so grateful for the LGBTQ+ friends I have in my life. They have taught me so much about loving well, in ways only they could do. It breaks my heart that the church has damaged and alienated so many of them. My LGTBQ+ friends who still worship Jesus give me a special kind of hope. I’ve been on my own spiritual journey and I often think to myself, “If my queer friends haven’t given up on Jesus, then maybe I shouldn’t either.”

I’m passionate about this issue. The act of excluding my LGBTQ+ community from church is the reason I left the church I was attending several years ago. I just couldn’t worship in a place where ALL my friends weren’t welcome just as they are. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. I walked away and didn’t return for years. I’m now grateful to have found a church that is totally inclusive to the LGBTQ+ community, so if you are a gay, bi-sexual, trans, (or anyone that falls into the queer community) Christian who has given up on church, I want you to know that Gracepointe Community Church is a safe place for you and you would be welcomed with open arms! (And if you don’t live in the Nashville area, you can join their online community and watch on YouTube every Sunday morning.)

So, HAPPY PRIDE MONTH to all of my LGBTQ+ friends! I’m proud to know you, love and be loved by you, and be your ally —- even if I’m hopelessly heterosexual! LOL

Love…. M

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RESOURCES:

Love Makes Room: And other things I learned when my daughter came out - by Staci Frenes.

UnClobber: Rethinking our misuse of The Bible on Homosexuality - by Colby Martin

Born Again Queer: A History of Evangelical Gay Activism and the Making of Antigay Christianity - by William Stell

Does Jesus Really Love Me - by Jeff Chu

Torn: Rescuing the gospel from the gays vs. christian debate - by Justin Lee

God and The Gay Christian - by Matthew Vines

And some other great resources:

Has “Homosexual” always been in the Bible? via United Methodist Insight

“Leaving High Control Religion” by .

I will continue to have my two free posts each month as well. Thanks to everyone for reading and sharing! I appreciate you all!

I grew up as a Southern Baptist. My family was super involved in church activities, and most of my friends were part of my church. The Southern Baptist belief system was ingrained in me, and I was convinced that their views about God, Jesus, Christianity, and frankly, the whole world were the right ones. I really had no reason to question their teachings — and why should I? My parents and their friends were all loving, moral, and kind people whom I wanted to emulate. Their faith seemed to be their driving force toward putting goodness out into the world. I wanted to put goodness out into the world too, and the Southern Baptist way seemed like the right path to follow.

Until it didn’t.

In college, I fell in love with a boy who was Church of Christ, and suddenly everything I believed about God and religion came into question. After we married, I became steeped in COC culture and was quickly taught that the Southern Baptists had everything all wrong.

Instrumental music in church = wrong.

Not baptizing upon immediate conversion = wrong.

Not taking communion every Sunday = wrong.

And those HANDBELLS? = so wrong!

I’ll admit that I never completely bought into all their teachings. They didn’t seem right in my gut. The COC truly believed that every other religion was wrong in its approach to God and that it would cost people eternal damnation. Only the COC was truly “God’s church,” and only their beliefs would get you into heaven. But at the time, I didn’t feel I had a choice but to attend the COC because it was the only religion my husband and his family believed was correct.

Fast forward to a few years later, after my divorce. I tried going back to the Southern Baptist church, but after seeing so many moral failures among the leaders in that church, I started wondering if their beliefs actually “worked” as well. So, I tried a non-denominational church — but I started seeing the cracks there too. Everything seemed much more focused on individual sin over collective sin.

I knew in my heart I needed to dig deeper into what God actually wanted from us as human beings.

I started studying religious history, other religious beliefs, and the Bible, and I began to lean into the realization that there was a strong possibility that none of us have it all “right.” So many religious laws are just man-made rules that have seeped into our culture. Americanized Christianity is a perfect example, although it’s certainly not alone in its malformation.

The extreme views I see these days wrapped up in Christian Nationalism are deeply disturbing. They have added extra holy swagger to their claims of having the correct belief system. They have lost all humility and mysticism in their search for power. They are so focused on forcing their beliefs upon everyone else that it seems they have forgotten the way of Christ in the process.

Micah 6:8 says, “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”

So much of Americanized Christianity — and certainly Christian Nationalism — has lost its humility. It’s so off-putting to the rest of the world. The only people I see being attracted to it are people who want power and control… and certainty.

In Matthew 4:1–11, we read the story of Satan tempting Jesus in the wilderness. He tempts Him with three things:

1. The myth of scarcity — turning stones to bread on His own, rather than trusting in God’s provision.

2. The lure of elitism — throwing Himself off a roof to watch the angels save Him. That would certainly show the world how special He is, right?

3. The lure of empire — having ultimate power over the whole world sounds nice, doesn’t it?

Jesus didn’t buy into any of those temptations, and neither should we as Christians. But way too often, I see all of those things rearing their heads in American Christian culture today. And it’s the last two that really bother me the most.

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Sorry I’ve been a little quiet here lately. The month of April was super busy for me as I prepared to lead a women’s retreat, which happened the last weekend of April in Ashland City, TN. And what a beautiful weekend it was!

There is just something special that happens when a group of women with open hearts come together to share their lives, their stories, their souls. It is always a magical experience, and this was no exception. Our theme was Awakening The Divine Feminine: Find Your Voice, Tell Your Story. When I say that the Divine Feminine showed up, I mean It. Showed. Up!

I’ve been blessed to have a circle of women that have walked beside me over the last few years who truly know me, and that is a wonderful gift. But cultivating this circle required a lot of vulnerability on my part. I had to be willing to share the deepest parts of myself to get there. It can be scary to do that, but it is truly worth it.

Science has shown that allowing ourselves to share our stories, our feelings, and our experiences with others can be quite healing. I want to share a quote from the book Anatomy of the Soul: Surprising connections between neuroscience and spiritual practices that can transform your life and relationships by Curt Thompson, M.D.

“When a person tells her story and is truly heard and understood, both she and the listener undergo actual changes in their brain circuitry. They feel a greater sense of emotional and relational connection, decreased anxiety, and greater awareness of and compassion for others’ suffering.” - C. Thompson

I believe that to be true. I’ve seen it happen and have experienced it myself. Our stories are powerful, both to us and to each other. It’s how we learn from and connect to one another. Our retreat last month was powerful because of this dynamic. All the ladies came ready to share their knowledge, experiences, and stories. We all came away changed from it. Wiser. Lighter. Understood. Accepted. Connected. Known. Seen. Loved.

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When I started God and My Girlfriends Ministries, I wanted a place where women could come together to connect - with God, others, and themselves. I truly believe that when we can do this, we lead more abundant, joyful and peaceful lives.

*Spiritual development is now acknowledged by most respected clinicians and researchers as crucial in our overall health and growth.

*Community is needed to lead a fully integrated life, because we are all interconnected.

*And understanding, forgiving, and loving ourselves is the first step in being able to understand, forgive and love others.

Unfortunately, in too many religious circles, we are taught to follow rules, rather than grow in spirituality. We are taught to show up as our “best selves” rather than our authentic selves. And we are taught that listening to our inner voices will lead us in the wrong direction.

My desire for GAMG Ministries is to help free women from all that.

If you are in need of a community like ours, please connect with us! We have some online book clubs and events planned for this year and we would love you to join us!

Our next online book club starts in June. We will be reading ’s new book, Joyful, Anyway together. If you want any information about joining that book club, or any other events coming up, just email us at gamgministries@gmail.com and we can put you on our mailing list.

Also, while we are on the topic of connection, I want to share our latest podcast guest with you. Her name is Lauren Pinkston, and she is running for Governor of Tennessee. Lauren is running as an Independent and I love her desire for uniting Tennesseans. I think we are all tired of the extremes we feel in politics right now. Can a moderate win in this climate of extremes? Lauren thinks so! Take a listen to hear her ideas for bettering not just Tennessee, but America.

Thanks for being here as part of my Substack community. It’s great to connect in person and online!

Love… M

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WHAT I’M READING RIGHT NOW:

I highly recommend this one. And a if you tune into our podcast next week, you’ll get to hear the authors, Katie Douglass and Brittany Tausen, talk about some of the themes from their awesome book with Stacey and me. Check it out here:

https://www.amazon.com/Love-Your-Neighbor-Psychology-Transform/dp/0802885233

Palm Sunday was the day of Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem. As Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a lowly donkey, crowds lined the streets, bowing to him and spreading their cloaks and palm branches on the road to welcome him. The people shouted “Hosanna”, which means “save us” or “salvation”. They thought this was the Messiah who would save them from the Roman empire’s mistreatment. They were ready to crown him as the new “king”, but oh, how wrong they were about who he really was and why he came.

Why do people want a king so badly? I always think of the story in 1 Samuel 8, where the people demanded a king to lead them. Samuel was displeased and went to the Lord in prayer and the Lord said, “it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king. ⁸ As they have done from the day I brought them up out of Egypt until this day, forsaking me and serving other gods, so they are doing to you. ⁹ Now listen to them; but warn them solemnly and let them know what the king who will reign over them will claim as his rights.”

So, Samuel told the people, “This is what the king who will reign over you will claim as his rights: He will take your sons and make them serve with his chariots and horses, and they will run in front of his chariots. ¹² Some he will assign to be commanders of thousands and commanders of fifties, and others to plow his ground and reap his harvest, and still others to make weapons of war and equipment for his chariots. ¹³ He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers. ¹⁴ He will take the best of your fields and vineyards and olive groves and give them to his attendants. ¹⁵ He will take a tenth of your grain and of your vintage and give it to his officials and attendants. ¹⁶ Your male and female servants and the best of your cattle^[c] and donkeys he will take for his own use. ¹⁷ He will take a tenth of your flocks, and you yourselves will become his slaves. ¹⁸ When that day comes, you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, but the Lord will not answer you in that day.”

But the people didn’t listen. They thought they knew what was best and demanded a king anyway. “No!” they said. “We want a king over us. ²⁰ Then we will be like all the other nations, with a king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles.”

This same scenario has been playing out in America over the last few years. Too many Christians have turned to a human being as their savior and “king” - and you know who I’m talking about. He has frequently been referred to by many Christians as “the chosen one”. Even this week, Franklin Graham spoke about Trump at the CPAC convention in Texas declaring that God "raised up Donald Trump for a time such as this," drawing a direct parallel to the biblical Queen Esther.

It breaks my heart to see leaders like Franklin Graham using this rhetoric.

Friends, we don’t need a human king. We need a savior for our souls, not for America.

History shows that human beings become like those they serve. You can even see it in those Trump has surrounded himself with in his administration. Many of those who now mimic, defend and rationalize his behavior and harmful policies used to speak the truth. There are many clips out there of JD Vance, Lindsay Graham, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio and many others warning everyone about how dangerous a Trump presidency could be. But now that they are serving him, they have become him. Honestly, it’s quite breathtaking to watch.

So, who are we serving and who are we becoming, as people and as a nation?

Sigh… it’s not looking too good for America as I see it. We are a lost nation, making enemies left and right. And we aren’t loving our enemies, as Jesus taught us to do, but rather starting wars with them. Why? So we can have more power, more money, more control? So we can win, win, WIN? I don’t think Jesus ever preached that “winning” was a fruit of the spirit.

Sometimes I think that Jesus must’ve been so sad as he was riding that donkey into Jerusalem on that day. Not because he knew that he was riding into an ambush. Not because he knew that this was going to lead to his death. But because he knew the hearts of those lined up on the streets worshiping him. I imagine he was looking at all the people on the sides of the roads with the palm branches in hand and knew that he wasn’t really what they wanted him to be in their hearts. He wasn’t “that” kind of Messiah. He wasn’t here to be their new king. I imagine he might have thought, “Oh, how disappointed they are going to be with me. I am not what they think I am.”

“Jesus was not killed by atheism and anarchy. He was brought down by law and order allied with religion – which is always a deadly mix.” — Barbara Brown Taylor

On this Palm Sunday, I find myself sad at the state of Americanized Christianity and the Christian Nationalism that has taken over many of our churches. I’m sad that so many pastors are leading with fear to control the narrative among their congregants. I’m sad that we are at war. I’m sad that a man so void of any good fruit is someone propped up by evangelical leaders as “the one chosen by God to lead our country.”

Speaking of war, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth called for "overwhelming violence of action" against those who "deserve no mercy" during a monthly Christian service held at the Pentagon on March 25. WTH??? What kind of Jesus is he following? Not the one I know. What I see is that he has made a God of his own creation. One that mimics Hegseth’s desires. One that is angry and wrathful and unjust. And sadly, too many other Christians are doing the same.

And as so wisely wrote:

“We want the war horse. Jesus rides a donkey.

We want the eagle. The Holy Spirit descends as a dove.

We want to take up swords. Jesus takes up a cross.

We want the roaring lion. God comes as a slaughtered lamb.

We keep trying to arm God. God keeps trying to disarm us.” ~~Ben Cremer

May we all be disarmed on this Palm Sunday. Stop fighting our enemies and start loving them. Stop craving war as an unfit means to “peace.” And start actually following the loving ways that Jesus humbly served everyone.

We get to pick one “king” to follow. Who will we choose? No matter what you say, who you are becoming will show the world which one you truly follow.

Love ya’ll… M

So, in my attempt at understanding the deep divide our country is in right now, I’ve been watching a lot of Fox News for the last couple of weeks. It has truly been eye-opening! But not necessarily in the way you might think.

A friend and I were going back and forth on Facebook the other day, arguing different sides of a political perspective (in a respectful way I should add) and after a few exchanges I finally said, “Girl, we are living in two different realities! Maybe we need to just have coffee and talk this through a bit more face-to-face. LOL” If there is one thing I have learned, it is that social media is NOT the place to hash out differences that are extreme. Maybe it’s ok for people to argue nuances. I’ve seen it be helpful when two people are basically seeing things the same way but are just offering slightly different takes on the subject. But when you realize you aren’t anywhere on the same plane — better take it offline if you truly value the other person. Otherwise, it can end up badly.

So, in my attempt at understanding such opposing views to mine from people that I love, I started tuning into Fox News on a daily basis. To be completely transparent, I don’t normally watch any of the 24 hr news sources with any consistency. I usually watch ABC Evening News with David Muir in the evenings while I’m cooking dinner. I figure if there is anything major going on, it will be on the evening news. Besides that, I watch a bit of both CNN and FOX, always trying to hear both sides of what is being reported about current events. But for the last couple of weeks, I have had Fox News on almost daily, trying to remove my emotions out of the equation and just listen to the points they are consistently making.

At first, it was hard for me to watch. So much smugness, snarkiness and complete misinformation. I listened to them demean the liberal party over and over again with inflammatory phrases like “libs hate America”, “libs are trying to ruin our country”, “libs think they can get away with anything and run all over us”, “libs are pro-criminal”. Their consistent messaging is fear-based. They present liberals as evil elitists and conservatives as the down-to-earth ones fighting for good.

“Let’s face it. They (libs) really don’t like the American people—not very much, at least—or their forefathers.” - Laura Ingraham

What in the actual WHAT? Does she even know any liberals? What kind of bullshit statement is that?? It’s an inflammatory statement that apparently the Fox News watchers are eating up with a side of gravy, and it’s a problem. A very real problem.

“Why are they saying these things?” I asked myself. “Do they actually believe the stuff coming out of their mouths?” Some of the things I heard coming out of Jesse Watters’ mouth yesterday was truly laughable because it was so incorrect.

Is it because they don’t want unity in this country? Because what they are doing with their messaging is contributing to the chasm between parties and between people. While they constantly blame the liberals for not wanting “unity” in this country, they continue to promote disunity.

The liberals I know are nothing like how they are portraying them on Fox News. They love our country! They want our country to be the best it can be and they are fighting for what they believe is right. They are kind-hearted, funny, and loving. They pray, try to be good citizens, and adore their families and friends. They are certainly nothing like how Fox News is describing them.

It was really, really hard, but I kept watching, still trying to figure out what their motive is that keeps them reporting on things in such biased ways and demonizing half of the country.

I’m sure you are wanting to bonk me on the head right now and say, “Duh! Follow the money baby!” - their motive is greed! And I know that’s a big part of it. The more viewers they can get, the more money comes in, so they talk about things in the way their viewers want to hear, advertise things their viewers would want, and present the news in a way that angers their viewers enough to get them addicted to the dopamine hit that comes from taking in news presented in this way. If you have this kind of skewed news presented to you 24/7, even the dumbest of conspiracy theories can start to sound plausible. There were a few times I even found myself beginning to think they were making sense about an issue - only to do a little research later to find out that the facts they presented to make their case weren’t the facts at all.

But what Fox News does best is this: They consistently flatter their viewers’ sense of moral superiority while at the same time validating all of their resentments towards the liberal party. This cultivates in their viewers a constant state of “righteous” rage. In this state, they are easily manipulated, which is how the wealthy owners of Fox News keep them coming back for more.

Speaking of the wealthy owners, last night I watched a documentary on the Murdoch family. Rupert Murdoch is the patriarch of the family and the owner of Fox News. He started his media empire with newspapers in England. The News of the World was his first paper, which was basically a tabloid. He learned quickly that there was an appetite among blue collar workers to read about scandals involving “the elite.” He knew how to write salacious headlines and grab readers’ attention by filling the paper with entertainment pieces that were written as if they were actually news. His empire eventually grew to a multi-billion dollar business including News Corp (which owns 20th Century Fox, Harper Collins, The New York Post, The Wall Street Journal and more).

A phone hacking scandal, along with allegations of bribery and corruption eventually forced Murdoch to shut down The News of the World and he resigned as CEO of Fox Corp. and News Corp. I won’t tell you anything else, but trust me, it’s a short (4 episodes) series and worth your time to watch. It explains so much about how and why Fox News came into existence and why it’s so powerful. Let me just say this much: Murdoch knows what his audience wants, and he’s not ashamed to give it to them.

“But how is Fox News any different from other 24-hour news channels, except that it skews all its news with a conservative bias instead of a liberal bias"? Good question, and one I can’t completely answer. I haven’t done a deep dive into the roots of CNN or MSNBC or any other news network. I’m sure greed and power are behind much of our news today. But what I do know is that Fox News goes way beyond conservative bias and leans hard on promoting conspiracy theories, lies and misinformation. Murdoch encourages edgier and edgier journalism. Journalism that will help promote his conservative agenda, help his political allies, and make him richer. He has a “don’t ask for permission first, just ask for forgiveness later if you get caught” kind of approach to journalism.

For instance, in 2023, Fox News paid out a $787 million dollar settlement to Dominion Voting Systems for continuing to promote conspiracy theories about the 2020 Presidential election being stolen after a judge found Fox to be libel. But the damage to Fox’s viewers had already been done. They believed the lie and many still believe it to this day, even though Murdoch himself said he believes the election was fair.

Like I said, Fox News knows what their viewers want to hear and see, and they will give it to them, whether it’s the truth or not. Watching this kind of fear-based, non-stop misinformation is poisonous to the soul. It’s even a brainwashing of sorts. People have reported their loved one’s entire demeanor changing after starting to watch a steady diet of Fox News. They become more paranoid and angry. The documentary The Brainwashing of My Dad by Jen Senko explains this really well.

So, my questions this week are: How do you convince people who are devoted Fox News watchers that this isn’t good for them? How do you get them away from this kind of trash news reporting? Is the addiction too strong? Are we fighting a losing battle?

I’d love to know your thoughts….M

This week there were reports of many American service members filing complaints that high military leaders were using language linking the war in Iran to the Biblical apocalypse and the coming of Armageddon. Their leaders are claiming President Trump has been anointed by God to bring this all about. This should be concerning to all Americans and especially for Christians. War is awful enough on its own, but when it’s being attributed to Biblical prophecy, it becomes an even more dangerous thing. Maybe even… crazy.

And it’s delusional for Christians to believe that it’s America’s job to bring about the end times. Not only delusional, but also incredibly harmful to our faith. As Robert Arnold so eloquently states in the video below, it’s “Reckless Arrogance of Religious Men”:

But beyond this troubling situation, I see so many Christians believing all kinds of fake news, conspiracy theories, and outright lies being fed to them by extreme right-wing media and even their own pastors from their pulpits. It’s so disturbing to me to see the pervasiveness of this in some Christian circles.

Not only do they say they believe this madness, but they spread it around without a care because… well, because it promotes their own agendas. Who cares if it’s really true, if it makes them feel powerful. God is on their side, so no one can stop them. The holy arrogance of it all is astounding. It makes them justify violence, cruelty, injustice, hatred and even murder, as if it’s all part of God’s plan. (Spoiler alert - it’s not.)

Cognitive dissonance is a phenomenon that can lead people to ignore facts that contradict their existing views to maintain internal stability. It’s an unconscious (or sometimes partially conscious) decision to alter reality in order to protect your world view. I see this being played out all around me right now. Good, loving people who know in their hearts that what is happening around them is so wrong, yet find some way to justify these things in their heads. Horrible things like:

The violence of war; ICE killing non-violent protesters; indiscriminately rounding up immigrants and deporting them without just cause; arresting and detaining innocent American citizens; our President and his administration consistently using dehumaning language; white supremacy; racial profiling; separating families at the border; terrorizing entire communities, taking away basic civil rights from our LGBTQ+ friends, and so much more.

I have a few honest friends willing to tell me that they are indeed conflicted about much of this, but they still defend it. They have convinced themselves that it’s all ok because their political side (and usually religious side as well) is enforcing those things. And their side is the “right” side, so they ignore the facts set out before them. If they ponder too long on these facts, it could possibly shatter some of their deeply held beliefs. Who wants that to happen, right? Sigh…

That’s why faith deconstruction is so scary to many faith leaders. When someone starts asking the hard questions and looking for answers that actually make sense, it can be problematic to pastors who need to control their “flock.” How can you control someone who starts thinking for themselves and doesn’t just believe what they are being told to believe?

But thinking for ourselves is what we are called to do as followers of Christ. In Romans 12:2, Paul tell us to “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” We were given an intellect for a reason. We are to be discerning and wise when it comes to information given to us, and when something doesn’t make sense, or dare I say, when it doesn’t “feel right” in your gut, we should ask the hard questions and engage in diligent research to get to the truth.

Religious zeal shouldn’t trump common sense, but yet it seems to be doing just that these days. The religious leaders in Biblical times thought they were just protecting their faith when they got the Roman empire to crucify Jesus. Even Paul, who was initially zealous in his desire to persecute the early Christians, did horrible things out of his intense love for God. Or at least the way he understood God to be at the time. But all that changed when he met Jesus on the road to Damascus.

Paul was transformed. And isn’t that the goal? We can know all the scriptures, all the parables, all the history about Jesus, but information does not always equal transformation. Especially if we are living deeply in cognitive dissonance.

Here’s a little test to see if you might be buying into things that you know in your heart are wrong: Do you find yourself saying, “yeah, but…” often? For instance:

The killing of Renee Good and Alex Pretti was so wrong. “Yeah, but, they should have just obeyed the officers”

Deporting all these hard-working immigrants is so wrong. “Yeah, but, they should have just come in legally.”

The killing of Ruben Ray Martinez in Houston by DHS was so wrong. "Yeah, but he shouldn’t have tried to run away.”

Going to war without a good cause is so wrong. “Yeah, but our President has been anointed by God, so whatever he does is ok.”

I saw this image recently and it speaks volumes:

As my pastor noted in his sermon this past Sunday, there is a difference between legality and morality. Not all things that are legal are moral. And it takes Godly discernment to know the difference.

I don’t mean to sound like I have it all figured out, because I most certainly do not. I used to think I did, though. When I was steeped in Americanized Christianity, I thought I had all the answers. Now, I know that I do not know. I do not have all the political, cultural, or faith answers. And I certainly haven’t got God figured out. But in my uncertainty, I have found so much comfort, because I don’t have to live in cognitive dissonance anymore.

I want to share part of a prayer from one of my Lenten devotionals from this past week:

"Give us courage for the holy work of discernment.

Where pride has shaped our faith, humble us.

Where fear has bound us to rules without love, free us.

Teach us how to uphold what gives life,

to release what harms,

and to read all things through the lens of Christ’s faithfulness.” - Benjamin Cremer

Isn’t that beautiful?

We can’t let pride and fear be our guides. And we can’t be afraid to question what we know doesn’t add up to what we say we believe. It is our duty as Christians and Americans to call out what we know in our minds and hearts to be wrong. We are to be people of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I’ll even add a little grace, mercy, compassion and empathy in there as well. We should be the healers in this world. Instead, I see too many standing by as we harm others and doing it in the name of Jesus. When Christianity partnered with empire, we lost our way.

So, may we be so bold to ask all the right questions, both politically and spiritually, and not be afraid if the answers don’t align with what we are being taught. Christians have gotten it wrong throughout history. Teachers are fallible. The Holy Spirit within us is not.

All I’m saying is that it’s ok to be crazy about Jesus. Heck, I love the guy too! But let’s not lose our common sense in the midst of our zeal. We can’t walk through life with blinders on, ignoring the signs all around us that we might be wrong about something. No matter how deeply you believe something to be true, that doesn’t always make it right. Being faithful servants of Christ means to love each other and love God with all our hearts and our minds.

QUESTION: What does loving God with all your mind look like to you?

Love ya’ll… M

Whether you agreed with his politics or not, there is one thing we can all agree on. Jesse Jackson wasn’t afraid to use his voice.

We lost Mr. Jackson this week, and I’ve seen many touching tributes written online. He was a giant in the civil rights movement, a politician and an ordained Baptist minister. A husband, father, and friend. He spent most of…

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I grew up hearing about this Antichrist and being warned about him. Although the term “antichrist” is mentioned only four times in the Bible (in the epistles of John), it was definitely something Christians talked about often in the church circles I used to be a part of. No doubt the popular Left Behind fictional book series brought it even more to the forefront of conservative evangelistic communities.

We were taught that we needed to always be on guard for this Antichrist to show up.

Fast forward to the 2008 election cycle. Through politically motivated email chains and social media posts, a theory gained traction with Christian Republicans that President Obama was the Antichrist we had all been warned about. There was no merit to it but as conspiracy theories usually do, it took off anyway. It was based on really bad biblical interpretations and misguided theology. Some fringe interpretations used numerology, such as the claim that Obama’s name contained 18 characters, and since 18 divided by 3 equals 6, and 666 is the “number of the beast” in the Book of Revelation, he was therefore the Antichrist.

A 2013 survey found that 20% of Republicans believed Obama was the Antichrist. That’s actually a pretty high number for a conspiracy theory, but it shows how badly conservative Christians wanted to believe it. Obama was even occasionally heckled with this accusation during public appearances.

Now I see Christian Democrats calling President Trump the Antichrist. They believe he shows the traits from biblical texts describing the Antichrist as deceptive and blasphemous, constantly exalting himself and convincing people to worship him as the one person who can “save us” and our country. They say he is the “Man of Lawlessness” (a figure described in Thessalonians 2:1 -12, widely understood to be the Antichrist), who is described as deeply deceptive, very charismatic, a prosecutor of opponents and claiming divine status.

Although I’m not sure there is one “Antichrist” to watch for, I do believe that there are many antichrist spirits. Even John says that there are “many antichrists among us even now” (1 John 2:18) and the traits of antichrist are what we should be watching for, especially within the Christian community.

If there was an “Antichrist” that was coming, I’m convinced he wouldn’t persecute Christians, but would pretend to be one of them. That’s how he would get his power. He would pretend to be their greatest champion.

That’s how he’ll lead them astray. He’ll watch them pledge loyalty to him while they slowly compromise all the morals they claim to uphold. They will make excuses of his evil behavior, justifying his actions as the only way to protect their agendas, because, he’s on their side… right?

Wrong. He’s not on their side, but their eyes have been closed by his false promises and charismatic ways. It’s so sad to watch. Their fear of losing his “protection” on display for all to see. Their discernment between what is of God and what is antichrist will be completely gone.

So, do I think Donald Trump is THE Antichrist?

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The world feels heavy right now. My body feels heavy right now. Just getting out of bed feels hard these days. This can’t go on. A change has gotta come. — from my journal notes 2/4/26

Depression is a very real thing for many, especially this time of year. It’s been an extremely cold winter here in Nashville, making it hard to go outside for any length o…

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ICE #1: Many of you know that Nashville got hit with a crippling ice storm this week.

We got some snow first, and that was kind of fun for a while, but when the ice moved in, it was a whole different story. The damage done by this ice storm will have lon…

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It’s kind of hard to believe I’m writing this one. I probably won’t get through it without some tears, but I process my feelings through writing, so here goes nothing.

Goodbyes have always been hard for me. As I’m growing older now, I’m learning to hold everything and everyone I’ve been given with open hands. To realize that things (and people) come and …

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