I have been thinking a lot about the prisons of my own suffering, the logical pathways that I weave within my head that make the spot that I stand in, and stay still within, make the most rational sense that any rational mind could comprehend.

I think that the majority of human suffering lives in this one loop: “When _____ happens, then I’ll _____.” While this strategy imagines a future with different resources and different circumstances that will create different amounts of courage and bravery and confidence to finally take the leap, inevitably, we end up right in the same place we started. The place in which we created this imaginary loop of possibility and potential... and yet we exist in what is perpetually not that.

And on and on we go.

The challenge is that 99% of us live within an imagined life while not changing the life we have.

I think this is twofold:

We’re terrified to actually step towards something that we desire, and so we use this loop to rationalize why we have not left the pattern and/or circumstances we continue to find ourselves in.

This is actually a rational path. It makes sense. When it’s about goal setting and planning and strategy, it’s very different than self-abandonment. It’s pretty hard to draw the line between what is planning and what is self-abandonment... but what I can say is that line becomes pretty clearly crossed when we’ve been waiting a long time for the pivot point to materialize.

But at what point do we regroup? At what point do we get really honest with ourselves and say to ourselves, “Hey, it’s pretty clear that what we are trying to do is not working. We should do something differently”?

I say this to you as I say it to myself. I get caught in the despair, the month-to-month grind, the endless loop of the familiar struggle. Is this what we signed up for in this incarnation? We try to blame capitalism and materialism and the death of the village... and all of these would be valid.

But yet, we are here. On this planet. This lifetime. This moment.

So what the eff are we doing??!?

Be here now.

I was speaking to a friend recently about making the choice between making easy money and trusting the more enduring and integrous path: the one that promises riches at the end. Perhaps those riches aren’t monetary, but I think we would be remiss to try to tell each other that money doesn’t calm the nervous system. And maybe better said... money buys the things that allow us to calm the nervous system.

Let me check the heart rate variability of someone with an extra $100,000 in their bank account versus someone with $100. It’s not even a competition.

Our money stories, our unconscious beliefs that hold us back, and our fear of the unknown can become a perpetual prison we stay in for our whole lives... but there is another way. Part of that is walking with faith where we are and also getting honest with ourselves: “Is what I’m doing working? Am I waiting for a never-ending outcome to make a never-realized pivot? Are the circumstances I’m tolerating in my life creating my suffering?”

I don’t purport to have the answers to any of this, but I am a lifelong student... and I am deeply committed to creating abundance in my life. I believe that the universe/God/source/whatever... does reward both integrity and dharma. I would rather hold this belief with a little bit of stress... or a lot of it... than seek easy money or the easy way or get back into the grind of the 9-to-5.

With all that said, social media is not the promised land, but it can be the leveraged pathway to bring wisdom, knowledge, and possibility to those who are also seeking their way out... and to us... trying to find another way... and to be reminded that we must stay the course... SO MANY PEOPLE QUIT. They quit right now... right where you are. Right where I am.

And to that notion of quitting... I say: F*ck that.

F*ck it. Not a f*cking chance. I will not let the levers of mediocrity and the thoughts of what religion calls the devil, or what Jung calls the predator, or what Stephen Pressfield calls resistance... win. I refuse to let the voice of what held back my ancestors and friends and all those who came before me get passed down. Mediocrity and the willingness to sell out both end with me. To know me is to be inspired. To know you is to get infected with courage.

We. must. keep. going.

The embodiment of endurance... that’s what we’re learning.

To close out, know this: to leave the system, you must understand and dance in the system. It is when we feel like a victim of this dynamic that we activate the martyr archetype and stay perpetually in the if/then.

I’m not saying the system is not fair. But resisting the system just reinforces the walls around it.

Repeat after me: It is what it is. I shall do what I can with what I have. I will be honest with myself about my limitations and my unconscious upper limits. I will do everything within my capacity to be focused and committed to the expansion of my soul, my dharma, and moving beyond the thresholds of what is comfortable. I will not quit until what is desiring to be made manifest exists. Until then, give me the strength and fortitude to keep going.

You chose this life. You chose this incarnation.

Choose to be magnificent. Choose to embody love. Choose to be a badass.

If you can’t hear yourself, you can’t know yourself.

If you can’t know yourself, you can’t speak from your heart and direct your life in a way that feels aligned with the youest-you possible.

There has never been a time in history where there has been more pleasurable ways to avoid sitting with uncomfortable feelings… Your lack of relationship with yourself is worth a lot of money to Meta and TikTok and Youtube.

Our society is a reflection of this… we are dancing around the emotional responses of others, because we don’t know how to sit within them ourselves.

When you learn to be quiet, you create a space within you that becomes a light house to others. You’re not just a monk on a mountain… you become the mountain.

Of course, we have bills to pay and things to do… and do those things.

But while you’re on the journey to checking all the boxes in your life, don’t forget to actually live your life.

When we awaken to this automation that has us living on autopilot, we start to feel that the longing we’ve always had was within ourselves.

Maybe it started with a mother and/or father who was not present to us, but it almost always continues with us not being present to ourselves.

This lack of intentional-attention has us making choices that create a future that is not aligned.

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What this tells me is that men have not yet atoned enough. We have not apologized enough. We have not fully sat with the pain of our mothers, partners, sisters, and daughters. We have not witnessed them in the way that they need to be witnessed…

Their rage.

Their grief.

So before I continue, let me first say this:

If you are a woman, it is almost a certainty that you have suffered at the hands of a man, or many of them. Your grief and anger at the deep betrayal of the masculine to the feminine - is so valid. We are meant to protect you. To love you. To hold you. And we have, in large part, failed you.

May your heart, body, and soul be held with deep reverence. May you leave what does not hold you that way, and may you draw into your life what does. May you find the strength and support of good, loving men who treat you as sacred. May you get the opportunity to have your rage and grief witnessed in the flesh—with the full range of your voice revered and celebrated.

I’m sorry. We’re sorry.

I used to think that apologizing on behalf of men was bullshit. I wasn’t a prick or an abuser… why am I paying for what men of the past have done?

But I get that, in order to repair, someone has to go first. And when we (I) get caught in the martyr archetype, I want the other person to do it. I want them to see my pain. Which is interesting because I do think that the healing of suffering is in being held and loved and witnessed in community… and, if I need others to validate my pain, I, in some way, have not fully validated it myself. I become a slave to being witnessed, rather than witnessing myself.

So, there’s the work of seeing my experience as valid, and also finding safe people to say, “I see you. We love you. That wasn’t okay. We got you.”

This is where most men get stuck: they have been severely wounded by either a man or a woman, or both. And they’re wondering, “Why the fuck am I apologizing to you? You hurt ME!”

And round and round we go:

Was it the wounded mother that created the wounded son, who became a dangerous man? Or did the man harm the woman first?

This is what we’re unconsciously dancing between.

So, if you’re a man reading this, let me share what I have realized:

Go first.

Look, your pain matters. I’m truly sorry for what the world has done to you… I’m sorry that it doesn’t value your pain. It doesn’t witness your suffering. And you are worthy of that. You deserve safe love. You deserve to be held, and revered, and treated as sacred too. Your service to your community and your family and your partner is worthy of being witnessed and acknowledged.

When I took responsibility for healing my own pain, I really mitigated how much I spread it. When I confronted the pain of the betrayals I suffered, I learned that I needed to set boundaries, and use my voice. While the world may have robbed me of access to clean anger, it was my job to find my way back to the ferocity of my heart so that I could honor it. I found the gifts that lived in those painful moments. I saw that the women who betrayed me had been harmed by men—did that justify them hurting me and behaving how they did? No.

But I could commit to becoming a man who no longer creates those fractures. Who says, “With me, the pain of the past stops. I am here to create and share love. To speak truth. To hold a bar and a standard for my heart and the hearts of others.”

In witnessing myself, I had to take responsibility for what the pain I had failed to witness created within me—how was I showing up to life and love because of the lies and deception of the women from my past? The truth was… on some level, I had become them. I had left my integrity behind because they didn’t fully have theirs. I had betrayed those I loved. I had lied. I became what hurt me.

And on and on we go… until one of us says, “Enough.”

There’s a grief that arises when that someone is you. Because not only do you see the trail of your own suffering, but you see the wake of destruction that your adaptive strategies have left behind.

And what heals your suffering is repairing the suffering you’ve caused yourself and others.

I want to close with two of my favorite quotes from Francis Weller:

“Whilst many of us suffered mightily because of unconscious parenting, we must remember that our parents were participants in a society that failed to offer them what they needed in order to become solid individuals and good parents. They needed a village around them and so did we. Of course we were disappointed with our parents. We expected forty pairs of eyes greeting us in the morning, and all we got was one or two pairs looking back at us. We needed the full range of masculine and feminine expressions to surround us and grant us knowledge of how these potencies move in the world. We needed to have many hands holding us and offering us the attention that one beleaguered human being could not possibly offer consistently. It is to our deep grief that the village did not appear.”

~ From The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller

“We spend our lives seeking a place of belonging. At some point we have to become the place of welcome.”

Let’s create a home within ourselves, and share that home with others.

Much love.

In the beginning we were promised connection to those we love… feeds filled with inspiration and pictures of friends and family. And then we had the chance to birth our dreams — organic reach, the amplification of voices, the algorithm working to spread our messages far and wide.

And then it got dark… fast.

They realized that short-form video really captured our brains… and then they went full-send on optimizing for the monetization and extraction of our attention.

They got all of the users on the platforms, were generous with what filled our hearts, and then BAM — turned it into an exploitative experience.

I think what’s hard about this is that buried below the psychopathic entities that curate how the machines work is a beautiful shared desire from social media users for humanity to share love and connection. We are stuck in this complex trap that social media feels good. It appeals to how our brains are evolutionarily programmed to function. And yet, if we don’t decide how we use it, it will use us, and we will end up… well… here.

Much like any form of desire, true adulting exists in our ability to decide whether moving towards what makes us feel good is good for us.

Isn’t that just it? Think of how many times you’ve had a state of arousal — and you have to choose to say “no” to the quick fix, to choose the suffering that comes with living an aligned life… to get the delayed gratification of being able to sleep at night because you love who you are and what you choose.

Once you realize how great alignment feels, you will no longer trade a life of peace for a moment of elation.

I recently heard the term Enshittification from Cory Doctorow to describe the cycles of social media companies:

“Platforms are good to their users, then they abuse their users to make things better for their business customers, then they abuse those business customers to claw back all the value for themselves. Then they die.”

I feel like all of these things are happening all at once.

I live in the tension of loving that we can have all of these conversations through social media. I love that we can create feeds that fill our hearts (hello vintage cars!)… and yet I also know that social media is the same place that we can destroy our minds and our selves.

And I feel like I can use social media in a way that feels balanced — but I can because I did lose my mind. I did have my identity come to a head. I did have to experience a death of my psyche. And I am feeling the call to teach all of you how to do that because I do see the value in being able to spread our message far and wide… and I don’t see people getting rid of their smartphones any time soon.

So, what do we do?

Sending love to you all. We’re gonna get through this… and in order to do that, we have to be willing to look at our relationships… especially the one we have with our phone and social media.

Please share any thoughts/feelings you have about this part of our collective story.

P.S. If you’d like to get started on detoxing from tech right away, I have a free digital detox protocol here. It’s science-backed, and all the references are in there! Simple tools to implement right away that will make an immediate difference!

P.P.S. If you’re already all-in on a detox retreat, hit reply to this email and we’ll make sure you’re the first to know when it launches.

We don’t believe shame is the answer — and the process of holding men to a standard is also about having grace and compassion for what has shaped who they are.

This obviously isn’t about permission or mistaking compassion for tolerance, this is about zooming in and out to explore the context of what is missing for men today, and how we can move through the necessary rites of passage that our soul longs for.

Make sure to watch the whole video!

Also, we discuss our new Men’s Mastermind called “The Fourth Quarter” that kicks off in October and goes for 8 months — finishing with a 1 week retreat in the Rocky Mountains — paired with a hunt, and many other beautifully and intentionally constructed experiences to prepare us for what our relationships, children, elders, communities, and the world needs from us (and for us) to thrive.

More info and the application can be found here.

Thank you , , , , , and many others for tuning into my live video with !

What’s fascinating for me is that while there is likely truth and evidence to our fears, what ends up happening when we’re afraid of disappointing others is that we stay painfully suspended in our own disappointment of ourselves.

Now look, it’s hard to separate where genuine concern for other people’s feelings bleeds into being an excuse for not standing in our power.

Let’s hold the context that what likely created this pattern is pain… and from a place of wisdom, that old story is telling us (un)consciously to minimize the disruption of others so as to keep ourselves perceivably safe… But that’s when “safety” is solely defined as being free from conflict with others. Once we become more conscious and more attuned to our own nervous system and being, we come to realize that “safety” isn’t only about the external, it’s about how we feel within ourselves.

“Can I trust myself to do what is good for me?”

“Can I access anger when a boundary has been violated?”

“Can I direct my attention towards what brings me alive?”

“Can I access the part of me that learned that tending to the suffering of others is a priority over my own suffering? And can I not let my concern for others be what solely directs my life?”

“Can I trust that my truth that frees me, frees others? That there is wisdom in my reluctance? That there is brilliance in my uncertainty? That just because I don’t want something or someone it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me, but maybe something wise in me? That perhaps the wisdoms and screams of my heart are trying to move me towards what is good in the world, and good for me (and indirectly, them)?”

All these questions hold so much potency. They are about turning towards ourselves with positive regard. They are about treating ourselves with the highest standard — and setting the standard to be curious and open minded towards all of our feelings that come up… because remember, feeling a feeling doesn’t mean you have to act on it… but you do have to tend to it. Emotions are trying to evoke motion from us. They’re trying to get us to pay attention and honour the information that lives within the feeling.

What’s interesting is that everything in nature is designed to move towards what is better, more abundant, and more efficient. Notice how I didn’t say more convenient. Because life, and almost all the experiences that lead to our growth, are anything but convenient.

The greatest work of our lives is to love ourselves in the company of disappointing others. If you cannot do that, you will not trust yourself. Everyone and everything will come ahead of you, and then you will wonder why you have anxiety and depression… you will wonder why your hip hurts or your shoulder has a weird pain… why you clench your jaw, or why you have digestive issues. You will “wonder” despite having a deeper, inconvenient knowing.

Now look, the opposite of people-pleasing is obviously not healthy or productive either — putting yourself first over everything and everyone is not relational. So the dance, and the balance, is found in learning that honouring you is honouring them — it’s that other people matter as much as you, but not more, and not less. And that in order for you to live and love well it’s imperative that you never compromise your values for love or money or anything. You can compromise on other things — but the foundation of all relationships, no matter the kind, must be built upon mutual respect, kindness, and a commitment to never allow, encourage, or exploit self-abandonment… In ourselves or others.

A few notes to remember:

• Stop doing other people’s work for them. That’s not fair to them. You’re robbing them of the opportunity to grow on their own… and one person can never do the work of two people — and you were never meant to. If you do that —> STOP IT.

• When you hold back truth from someone because you don’t believe they can hold it, you hold back love. You also reinforce the belief that it’s their fault (and responsibility) that you can’t be all of you. Speak what is true, let the relationship grow or die. Just don’t die to accommodate its lack of growth.

• Be courageous in how you live and love. You’ve got one shot at this life.

• When you’re afraid to disappoint others it’s most often because you have yet to garner all the wisdom from your own disappointments in life. You have not fully integrated the moments from your past where you’ve been let down, left, betrayed, abandoned, etc… Look for where you haven’t yet fully let go, and ask yourself what still needs to be alchemized.

• You’re doing great. This life thing is not easy.

Disappointing others is meant to be hard… and if you didn’t care about other people’s feelings you’d be a sociopath. So this isn’t about not caring about how they feel in response to how you feel and what you choose, it’s about not minimizing or abandoning the direction your life is calling toward because it’s emotionally inconvenient to both you and them.

As they used to say in the 90s: “Grow a pair.”

There is some value in pro-social shame.

So with love, pull up your big-boy/girl pants and have the hard conversation.

You were meant for more and you can’t reach that by holding on to less.

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ps. I’m opening applications for a Men’s Mastermind Group that runs for eight months starting in October and finishing with a retreat in the Rockies. I’m hosting the mastermind with — and we’re so excited to walk alongside twenty men for this journey. Just reply to this if you’re interested or email hello@markgroves.com — if you know someone who might be, please share this!

And it’s very likely you won’t like that answer, because if you did like it, you would’ve already made the necessary changes in your life.

The truth is, you can delay the lesson again… but it always comes for you.

And when I say always, I mean ALWAYS.

So you might as well learn the lesson now. You might as well confront the darkness.

OR, you can do like I sometimes do… wait until change is the only choice. And yet, it’s still a choice.

It is my belief that the curriculum of life is trying to bring you into what I call coherence. Which is essentially to give you the skills, resources, and circumstances, to stand in the values that you hold within your being… To be all of you in your totality. The circumstances in our lives not only invite us to discover who we truly are, but also, to get a felt sense through our life experiences and choices, who we are not.

The tricky thing is that substances not only numb us from this inner guidance, but the need for the substance is also to numb the pain of not living that guidance……

So you have to start somewhere… and that usually begins with resolving some sort of unhealthy relationship — whether that’s to other people, your body, food, drugs, sex, technology… it doesn’t matter. What matters is that a friction in your life requires being tended to, and it is this tending that opens the doorway to discovering the beautiful complexity that is you.

What began for me as “Why did I get engaged when I didn’t want to?” — was actually: “Who am I below all of this?”

Below the life I was told to want… below the job, and the degree and the personality I presented as having… and even my name.

Who was I really?

Below the conditioning. Below the people-pleasing. Below the alcohol that not only numbed my unresolved sadness, but also anaesthetized the fact that I was a sensitive and complex soul who was capable of feeling everything so deeply…

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The world didn’t prepare me for my pain. It fed me illusions and arousals, and taught me about concepts like God and religion… constructs that lacked coherence… where neither the messenger nor the message were living in divine order with what was being preached.. Catholicism fell flat on its face when I finally started asking real questions…

“Rules for me but not for thee?”

This is what I saw in all the systems I began to awaken within: Relationships, food, religion, health, pharma… the list goes on and on. Once I got more coherent and brought myself further and further into divine order, all of sudden, most the things masquerading as “truth” got revealed as false prophets.

What I also learned is that obsessing over confronting the system is to be consumed by it. It is meant to devour you with your anger and your rage and your sadness. The true demolition of the system is to heal all of the ways it has infiltrated your lens of the world. Eradicate all the ways in which you are still living by rules that don’t make sense. Look for how you abandon your inner knowing — of what is truly good and loving — to keep together systems that depend on your compliance.

Your relationships hold the key to where your work lies. Your repeated patterns are asking you to finally let go of the wound… that instead of living from it, you live from the learnings it is offering.

There is no secret to tending to what needs your attention, other than deciding to place your attention there.

And in today’s world, where there’s a whole industry tasked with stealing your focus, there has never been a greater act of rebellion than turning within.

LFG.

To be honest, when she said that, part of me thought, “nahhhhhhh.” And another part went… “YAAAAAAAAAAA.”

Sometimes people notice in us the thing we’re not ready to notice… and instead of confronting what is stirring inside of us, we often distance from them, get defensive, and push them away… I know this, because I’ve done this.

What’s interesting is that when I met the moment she spoke of, I didn’t pivot. I didn’t honour the dharmic pull to shift. I stayed loyal to what I knew over loyalty to my purpose. I was more interested in comfort than expansion.

I’ve had to learn throughout my life over and over again how painful it is to abandon that voice… and the more I listen to it not only the wiser it gets, the more that voice guides me… But the challenge is that as I go deeper and deeper into that level of surrender, I have a hard time trusting that life could be as simple as:

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Or being obsessed with our purpose is admirable.

But just like there’s a line between worshipping those we love and becoming a stalker, there’s also a line where our commitment to our purpose destroys everything else in our lives… on our path to achieving “the thing,” everything else is cast aside or run right over.

This line can be elusive. And who am I to tell you where it lives?

I would say an Ironman triathlete has gone too far. But, I also would never run, swim, or bike that far even if I did those events individually.

And while I think someone like David Goggins is way out in the deep end of obsession, I actually have deep admiration for him. I believe his message is important — and his obsession with teaching people to stop wasting their lives is helping so many change their lives! He’s a BA motha f*cka. (IYKYK)

Let’s be honest:

The habits of outstanding performers are often much more structured and rigid than regular achievers… This isn’t shade to “normal” people… it’s that in the context of “normality,” exceptionalism looks a lot like unhealthy obsession… or vice versa.

BUT, there’s something interesting in the science that touches on this:

Psychologist Robert Vallerand's research on the "Dualistic Model of Passion" distinguishes between two forms of passion: harmonious passion and obsessive passion.

Simply put: A “harmonious passion” enriches your life without taking it over. An “obsessive passion” makes your well-being dependent on the pursuit itself. So the difference isn’t about how much you care about the pursuit, it's whether you can step away from it without feeling like you're losing yourself.

Essentially, a “harmonious passion” contributes to your wellbeing; you have balance in your relationship to it, and you can take a step back and have that feel good for you, not anxiety inducing. With an “obsessive passion” your relationship to it is so rigid that even the perceived benefits of the activity (like exercise), are not as great — likely due to the stress that is created by the rigidity in which we relate to it with.

Okay, hand up if this has been you? It’s definitely been me…🙋

And before we dive into that, there’s a little more data that is paramount to understand society as a whole… and also our own personal capability to lose our centre in the pursuit of things we’re passionate about.

Get this:

In studies of exercise, Vallerand found that people with a harmonious passion exercised because they genuinely enjoyed and valued it, could take rest days without guilt, and experienced greater well-being. Those with an obsessive passion felt compelled to exercise, struggled to stop, and were more likely to experience conflict, stress, and train through injury.

And holy moly… this:

He found a similar pattern among environmentalists: people with a harmonious passion were more likely to engage in consistent, constructive behaviours that supported environmental causes, while those with an obsessive passion were more likely to become consumed by the cause and express greater support for extreme measures, such as property destruction, illegal protests, or aggressive actions taken in the name of the cause. In both cases, harmonious passion led to healthier, more sustainable engagement, while obsessive passion often undermined the very goals people cared about most. ^1,2

What this all basically means is that commitment without grace and space for your humanness opens a door to your shadow, can hook into your identity, and cause you to not only source your worth from the endeavour, but also justify the potential harm of others in the name of its pursuit… This explains a lot in today’s world and the pursuit of different ideologies, doesn’t it?

While I think it’s wildly important to be committed to your dreams, your partnership, your children, and whatever else brings you alive, a commitment should never come at the cost of your wellbeing…

And any pursuit or person that you cannot say “no” to, you can’t really say “yes” to. Because a “yes” without authentic access to the word “no,” is not an embodied “yes.”

This isn’t about leaving everything behind that you feel compelled to choose, it’s about really recognizing that you’re choosing.

Much love.

Mark.

1 - Vallerand, R. J. (2015). The Psychology of Passion: A Dualistic Model. Oxford University Press.

2 - Gousse-Lessard, A.-S., Vallerand, R. J., Carbonneau, N., & Lafrenière, M.-A. K. (2013). The Role of Passion in Mainstream and Radical Behaviors: A Look at Environmental Activism. Journal of Environmental Psychology, 35, 18–29.

And by “ruined,” he means he didn’t go to the gym the next few days, he podcasted worse, he ate worse, he slept worse… he essentially emphasizes the domino effect this choice had on consecutive choices.

Look, the viral criticism he received about how optimization becoming obsessive is one culture wants to have, he just became the target — but what the conversation is missing is that Steven Bartlett is in the top 0.1% of achievers. Love him or hate him, he is exceptional in almost every area of his life. And most of the people who have criticized him, are not.

Now look, that’s not a dig at people who wanna have the three glasses of wine, or the whole bottle(s)…or people who don’t want to optimize every area of their lives… it’s that if you want to operate at the level Steven wants to operate, wine is not likely part of that equation. He has a standard for his life, and in order to hold that standard, it sounds like alcohol causes him to sabotage that.

WE ALL KNOW THIS FEELING! And the response to him expressing it and the backlash is in part because a lot of people don’t want to confront the impact alcohol has on their lives and choices. We use “balance” as permission to keep addictive substances in our lives… substances that are used to numb and sedate feelings we don’t want to feel.

Now look, if you’re paying attention in the world, it makes sense you want to drink. If you’re overwhelmed by life, it makes sense you want to booze it up.

But there is so much wisdom in your overwhelm.

The truth is: I miss drinking. I miss the social aspect. I miss pouring a scotch with friends and solving the problems of the world, and then forgetting what we came up with.

But I don’t miss my decisions being inhibited. I don’t miss how drinking made me trade more valuable behaviours and choices — that were more aligned with my mission and would contribute to me achieving my goals…

Essentially, the math didn’t math for me any more… I needed to get sober so I could hear myself better… and know myself on a deeper level. I used alcohol as a social lubricant… and in my twenties I used it to numb my morals and quiet my healthy judgement and discernment.

It had to go — because alcohol and ultimate clarity don’t live in the same place.

None of this is to shame you. You might have a healthy relationship with alcohol… and you also might have a great balance with wellness habits.

But most people don’t. Most people are highly addicted to their devices… and alcohol is an integral part of a lot of people’s lives… it’s how they “take the edge off.”

But that “edge” is important. It tells you when you’re past your capacity. It communicates where you need boundaries. It’s telling you where there’s misalignment. It’s screaming as you that you need to ask for help and support in the things that are overwhelming your life.

There’s no doubt that we are all holding so much. But we don’t need wine to hold more… we need other people. We need community. We need reliable partners and friends.

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When you’re obsessed about your goals, your mission and your dharma, you will become HYPER attuned to what gets in the way of living in coherence with them. The pain you feel at the slightest deviation from your habits and rituals is not because you’re obsessed with optimization (that’s for another discussion), it’s because you’re obsessed with your life’s work, and sensitive to the ways you step out of integrity.

But integrity is learned by making choices that inform where it lives. The contrast that comes from stepping out of alignment is paramount to you knowing what alignment is and feels like. Honour poor choices with both grace AND change… because grace alone cannot soothe the pain that unintegrated wisdom brings. (that’s where wine needs to come in).

Become obsessed with protecting your peace, your mission, and your values.

As the saying goes:

“Protect your dharma, and it will protect you.”

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ps. I’ll write on “obsessive passions” vs “harmonious passions” next week. Because there is a line where obsession actually erodes the perceived benefits of health-related choices.

pps. I did a podcast episode on “commitment vs. devotion.” It’s a must-listen if this Substack resonated

I read this quote from Mary Oliver this past week and it stopped me in my tracks…

I think it’s because:

1. I see how fragmented our attention is these days. And how that fragmentation combined with the allure of the algorithm has us losing the ability to be both discerning and intentional with our attention. And if we don’t have the ability to direct our attention, how can we be truly devoted to anything or anyone? And what does this lack of curating our attention do to our ability to be deeply in our dharma?

2. We seem to be somewhat numb to what true commitment looks and feels like these days. What I mean by that is — the relationship we have with our mind, our focus, our relationships, and where we place our attention — must be held with such deep intention. THIS SH*T IS SERIOUS.

   But my ability to be deeply committed to my mission slipped away from me without me even knowing… it wasn’t until the anxiety built up, and the void within myself got so great that no amount of instagram reels could fill it up. I felt empty… and that emptiness terrified me… and all this happened while I was scrolling and creating content…

Where we place our attention matters more than anything else… because it is directed and focused attention that allows us to create epic relationships, bring our dreams into reality, and create a life that feels aligned.

So what you and I choose to focus on is the beginning of EVERYTHING. Attention plants the seed of possibility, and it also is what allows that possibility to grow and flourish.

I had to look up how devotion is defined:

Devotion is the state of being ardently dedicated, loyal, or deeply affectionate toward a person, cause, or belief. It often involves profound commitment, self-dedication, and acts of religious worship or prayer.

HELL YEAH. Be ardently dedicated to every aspect of your life.

But if we can’t be bored, how can we be devoted? If we can’t be in prayer or meditation, how can we be devoted?

A person’s ability to achieve or become anything is largely due to their ability to focus and the choices they make. The choices you make are undoubtedly the greatest determinants of the direction of your life, your relationships, your health, and pretty much everything.

To make good choices, you have to be present. You have to be focused on the goals you want to achieve, and those goals become the north star in every moment of every day…

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To truly become exceptional, you have to be the master of your attention. You have to decide who and what gets your time. There is no avoiding this truth… and the good thing is, the moment you really get it, you get it.

Here’s the thing — most people are addicted to their phones. Most people waste hours and hours and hours of their day on social media. Most people say “I don’t have time” while clocking above three hours of screen time/day.

But you’re not here to be “most people.”

So I’ll give it to you straight:

1. Get your sh*t together.

2. Become the MASTER of your attention. Never let an algorithm decide your focus. Never let the negativity of the world make you negative. You decide where your eyes go. You decide what and who you focus on. You get to decide what your most likely future is…

3. Your work needs your devotion. Your love needs your devotion. Your kids need your devotion. Your purpose and mission need your devotion. Your money needs your devotion. You need your devotion.

I’ll close with this — Attention is not just the beginning of devotion — devotion determines where to place that attention. One requires the other… They operate in a symbiotic relationship — and it’s up to you to manage, curate, and protect that symbiosis.

• What is a boundary? What does a boundary sound like?

• What patterns do I play out in relationships? Why am I drawn to the people I’m drawn to?

• Why does _____ trigger me? How do I engage with people when I’m triggered?

• How do I separate what is my trauma from what is my truth/intuition?

But these are just informational. They provide you with context, pathology, and also the language that is necessary to create change.

BUT YOU HAVE TO CHANGE.

I see now that all the books I’ve read and all the courses and trainings I’ve done — they’ve all been incredible. But they would be useless if I didn’t implement what I learned into my life.

The reality is that most people invest in their healing while never actually healing. They spin their wheels with more podcasts and retreats, while never changing their lives… never changing who they choose… never changing their own behaviours in relationships… and never fully letting go of their vices.

Look, if this is you, you’re in good company. I have been you…

And I’ll never forget the moment I was showering where I thought to myself, “it doesn’t feel good to my heart and body to be making some of the choices I’ve been making.”

I had thought this thought before… but up until that moment in the shower, I had never considered that I could just stop doing what I was doing!

I know this sounds crazy… but I also know that 100% of the people I work with know what they need to change. Sure, they might need clarity, guidance and accountability on the tactical stuff, and some reflections as to why they find themselves where they are… but the real work is in being who you desire to be by making the choices in your life that will create that person, and ultimately the outcomes you want in your life.

I might sound like a broken record with this, but it bears repeating over and over and over again:

You are sitting on a goldmine of knowledge that is fucking itching to be implemented. There is a future version of you who is trying to pull you towards your highest potential…

But your vices will interrupt your relationship with him/her.

And your busyness will eradicate all the silence you need to hear him/her.

And your endless healing journey will distract you from actual healing.

And that’s okay… until it isn’t.

And it isn’t.

Read the books and listen to the podcasts and join the retreats and the groups and all the things… I’ve had profound awarenesses from all of the above.

And then live what you learn. NOW. Immediately.

This is how you let go → by taking the wisdom and knowledge garnered from what you’ve been through and translating it into who you are.

We only hold on to things that we haven’t fully alchemized.

Let’s get alchemical you dirty little alchemist.

ps. speaking of groups… I have ONE spot left for my small group mastermind that starts next Tuesday, June 2nd. If you are itching to bring your gifts to the world, and would love to be held accountable for FINALLY showing up and doing the thing… I GOT YOU. All the details for the mastermind are here.

pps. If you’re not ready to change, and not ready to go all-in, this isn’t for you. This is for someone who is tired of waiting for their life to come to them. Let’s get to work if that’s you → apply here!

Self-reflection, being able to audit one’s own behaviour, and then create intentional change —> is a superpower.

I think you should never stop growing.

But let’s just say it: We’re all so, so tired of all the hacks and 5 ways to do 4 things to make you not suck so much anymore…

IS IT WORKING?!

Look… you wanna grow?! Grow the shit out of yourself… but remember:

The obsession with improving ourselves must be met with the same amount of acceptance of ourselves.

But what I see so often, is that the motivation for personal growth is usually born from a feeling of personal deficit.

When you relate to yourself from this place of deficit, the gaps in your self-worth are a feature, not a bug. This truth makes it so that no amount of personal growth will ever be enough… because unconsciously you’ve created a loyalty to your perceived inadequacies.

So you read another book. You listen to another podcast. You take another course — and at this point, you probably have Chat on speed dial waiting to consult him on every move, every text, and every scenario your life presents…

You can find lots of wisdom in books. You can also find it in AI.

But you will never find your worth in either of those places.

"We are not meant to stay wounded. We are supposed to move through our tragedies and challenges... By remaining stuck in the power of our wounds, we block our own transformation. We overlook the greater gifts inherent in our wounds — the strength to overcome them and the lessons that we are meant to receive through them." ~ Caroline Myss

What if you let go of your pain? What if you decided to turn it into change and transformation? What if you stopped treating yourself like a problem to solve?

I’m not advocating for bypassing your trauma or your suffering, of course not. But, we live in a time when people are obsessed with their growth… and obsessed with optimizing anything and everything… what if instead of trying to dial in the right peptide we just stepped into wholeness? What if the most important work is actually about cleaning up your vices, stopping entertaining BS from yourself and/or others, and really focusing on LIVING your best life?

What if?

That seems like a prescription for the masses. I’m in.

I was image managing, masquerading as truly authentic.

But there was a deeper layer below the layer the world saw… And the space between who I am and who I have been was revealed to me more fully by the removal of more vices, and a declaration to truth. Capital “T” truth. Another level. A whole different kind of vibe.

This made me think: Maybe part of building a business based on who you are is that it just perpetuates incongruence? Perhaps the same way we wear masks for others, is the way we build a brand and messaging based on the same masks?

Our entrepreneurial work can reveal blindspots in our personal life, and vice versa.

I’ve been thinking more about this too:

Who you truly are doesn’t need a marketing strategy.

Who you truly are doesn’t need optimal branding.

Don’t get me wrong, curation and strategy are smart — but does stream-of-consciousness require a representative?

When I had all of these realizations today I touched something much deeper within myself. I felt both grace and what is sacred wash over me.

I am here to do divine work. I have always been afraid of that.

But it’s not like a “returning to the church” or “coming to Jesus”, although both of those things are great if they’re for you…

I think humanity is looking for something beyond the boxes.

We are craving a force that is so great all of our vices will fall away.

We surrender to our mission.

We surrender to God (or whatever your word is).

We surrender to who we truly are.

I share all of this because this is more of a coming out of sorts…

I am no longer a brand.

I don’t promise you anything but my own congruence, and in this journey of finding coherence within me, I shall help you find it in you.

I have been so terrified of my greater mission — which I can’t put into words yet.

But today I felt a moment of its beauty. A place beyond words, where forgiveness and responsibility both reside.

I’m saying “yes” to myself. I’m saying “yes” to God. I’m saying a full YES to my dharma.

Say “yes” too.

Who’s in?

P.S. If you're ready to lead in your life, your work, and your purpose from a place of real congruence, I have a few spots left in my mastermind, The Regulated Leader. Get more info and apply here.

Our adaptive strategies, that could include lying or deception, or choosing things that aren’t good for us, can just become part of our way of being… especially if learned early in life, and especially if we learned them unconsciously from a parent, and most especially if it’s part of how our culture and community move through the world.

The way we become conscious of these behaviours usually sucks… because it’s likely the consequence of the unconscious choice that makes it conscious.

This is a fire that’s hard to walk through because it can feel like it’s not fair, that we weren’t the ones driving the car.

But alas, we were.

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I didn’t realize how profound those words were the many times I heard them throughout my childhood.

But it’s true:

No matter where you go, there you are.

No matter what you run from, there you are.

No matter how much you beat yourself up, there you are.

No matter what happens in your life, there you are.

And yet, I’m reminded of the complexity that one can be right here, right now, and not be in their body. The very same abandonment that we so desperately want to avoid outside of ourselves, lives within us. We are often the living embodiment of our greatest fear… and it is in this absence, this space left void within us, that we go searching for our familiar suffering in rescuing others, while actually being in desperate need of ourselves.

This is the greatest paradox:

The parts of you that were abandoned hold the key to no longer making choices that abandon you.

Let me say that more clearly:

The wisdom that lives in the pain of being left, is the same wisdom that allows you to stay in your own heart, hold it with care and intention, and fight fearlessly to protect your value in relationship to others.

Said even more clearly: If you want to stop abandoning yourself and making choices that don’t align, go deep into the wound of where you first learned you didn’t matter.

That created a template within you that it’s normal for you to tolerate less than exceptional. This isn’t just about others not meeting a standard to be in your life, but even more so, it’s about how you don’t hold that standard for yourself.

You spend more time trying to figure out how to get them to stay than you do inviting yourself back home into your own heart and body.

Wherever you’re at, there you are…not… yet.

Look, if you date crappy people, you have to believe you’re worthy of them.

If you have dreams you’re not pursuing, you have to believe your dreams are not worth being pursued.

And no biohack will be enough to resolve what can only be healed by confronting that you treat yourself like you don’t matter.

If you want to change your life quickly, ask yourself, “What choices do I make that communicate to me that I don’t matter?”

And then… stop doing those things.

Sounds simple, right?!

That’s because it fucking is.

As Friedrich Nietzsche said:

“To live is to suffer; to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.”

In order to come back home to our own bodies, we have to create the safety within ourselves to open the door to the room we’re terrified of sitting in…

But you can’t do that if you keep abandoning yourself… because:

When you doubt your brilliance, you abandon him/her.

When you try to avoid your pain, you avoid his/her pain.

We can’t put our wounds into remission without seeing them as doorways to our freedom.

What does this mean to do in practice?

Well, it means speaking to that little one within you and saying the three words they’ve always wanted to hear… but before you do that, place a hand on your heart as you speak them…

I miss you.

And three more:

I’ve got you.

And three more:

I love you.

And four more:

I’m not going anywhere.

Try that out loud, all at once:

I miss you. I love you. I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.

And fucking mean it. Actually mean it.

Stop throwing yourself under the bus.

Stop choosing people and things that harm your being.

Stop making choices that don’t communicate respect to your being.

Start treating yourself with the love and reverence that you do for everyone else.

Start making yourself at least as important as those you love.

Start showing up for yourself, and promise to never again abandon yourself for anybody. Ever. Always. In all ways.

Say it again with me (hand on heart):

I miss you. I love you. I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.

ps. if you’re looking for support in navigating life’s challenges, bringing a dream to the world, or optimizing any area of your life, you can apply to work with me here. Sending lots of love!

I’ve been thinking a lot about dharma… and you might be wondering, “What the eff is dharma?” For the purposes of this post, here is how I would define it:

It’s the underlying order or truth of your life… It’s your intuition, your guiding principles. It’s about living your life according to your values and answering the calls of your heart for the work you’re meant to do in this incarnation.

Before I was twenty-seven, I never thought about my dharma. Honestly, I thought I just needed a job that paid well so I could be a good provider. Sure, I liked my work as a pharma rep, because being an artist or a writer was silly and impractical. I needed to be smart about the choices I made in my life. I needed to follow the rules. I needed to get married by twenty-seven-ish and have kids by 30-ish. I needed a good job, a house, a car, and a nice fence.

But despite all the ways I coloured within the lines, I eventually found myself staring down a life I didn’t want, and I had no choice but to hit the eject button.

Now, look, you might be staring down a similar life… in a relationship that’s unfulfilling, a job that pays the bills but sucks your soul, and seeing the news day-in and day-out talking about oil, famines, the Strait of Hormuz opening and closing like a god damn Taco Bell.

And you’re thinking, “I DON’T WANT WHAT I HAVE. At least not in the way it currently is.”

GREAT. Follow that feeling.

Acknowledging your discontent doesn’t require you to create a strategic plan, but it does require you to acknowledge its existence.

Because if you don’t name how you truly feel… (whatever that feeling is), you will spend your life running from that feeling, checking all the boxes so no one stops to ask you, “Are you okay? You don’t seem happy.”

Denying how you feel doesn’t make a feeling go away… if anything, it just buries it deep inside and causes that feeling to reroute and become stronger.

And here’s a harsh truth: You can’t run from your feelings. They will come for you in one way or another… take it from the Gospel of Thomas:

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Little did I know, but that discontent I felt would be the doorway to my soul. The feelings I was SO AFRAID of would turn out to be the very feelings that would reveal the path to my life aligning with purpose… It was that heartbreak that woke me up to my life! It made me ask big questions like, “Why am I here? What is the purpose of MY life? What is possible for my life?!”

I had never asked these questions... if anything, I was terrified of questions like these because I knew the life I was living at the time couldn’t have answered them.

But once I started to listen to the mission that was being born from my pain, I realized that my dharma at the time was this: to teach people how to love, and to remind people that if your relationship ends, you’re not a failure!

I could feel this desire to teach from deep within my heart… but like any mission, part of it is facing the resistance of our own fears… and boy, did I have a lot of those.

“Who am I to teach about love? What will people think of me? What about the life I’ve built? The career? The identity?”

Man, I had my doubts.

And look, doubt can be a trap… a place we stay suspended in, often, for our whole lives.

Doubt is normal. And it’s a dragon we have to slay.

For me it wasn’t only about doubting the intuitive nudges I was getting, or doubting my dharma that was taking shape… it was doubting whether I would succeed. Would I be okay? Would I be able to make a living?

But then in Stephen Cope’s book, The Great Work Of Your Life, I read a great quote that rocked my doubting socks:

Better to fail at who you are, than to succeed at being someone else.

And he shared a quote from Thomas Merton that speaks so perfectly to that:

“Every man has a vocation to be someone: but he must understand clearly that in order to fulfill this vocation he can only be one person: himself.”

I share all of this with you because I pray you listen to your heart. I pray that you honour the voice from within. I pray that you find the strength to believe that you are that wise, and you are the person who is meant to do that thing that you’re called to do.

I pray that you find your way through what you find yourself in.

A mantra that I repeat when I don’t know the way… yet… is:

“Show me the path, I’ll walk it.”

Keep walking. You got this.

P.S. I’m opening 2 spots for private full-day intensives, a rare opportunity to spend an entire day with me, devoted fully to you. This is for the person who can feel that their life is not aligned, or lacking meaning, anyone who has a deep feeling that they are meant for more in this life.

Together, we will go deep into your patterns, your fears, your desires, and the truth of what your life is asking of you. This is about uncovering your dharma and getting honest about the path that is trying to emerge from within you. Apply here.

The drawing I do is a little blurred, but it’s still visible and it will make sense.

Sending love to you.

P.S. I’m opening 2 private full-day intensives - a rare opportunity to spend an entire day with me, devoted fully to you. We can go deep into anything: relationships, patterns, healing, your vision, your business… all the things. This is for the person who is ready to move beyond surface-level change and create real, lasting transformation. If you feel the pull, trust it. Apply here.

When the world seems like too much, consume less of what makes you feel that way.

When people seem lost, scared and anxious, become a reason they believe in possibility.

When people seem divided, become a space of curiosity and unity.

I’m feeling a deep call to a slower and more connected way of life… not more connected digitally, but more connected to the birds, my neighbours, the farmers, my friends and my family.

When we have other people, storms are weathered much more easily.

When we feel overwhelmed, the support of a friend can bring us back to calm and help us believe that we’re gonna get through what life has handed us.

I can’t think of a more potent form of medicine than love and connection.

And yet, I can’t think of something we more desperately crave, but fail to reach for.

I remember years ago reading a quote from Erich Fromm:

“In spite of the deep-seated craving for love, almost everything else is considered to be more important than love: success, prestige, money, power—almost all our energy is used for the learning of how to achieve these aims, and almost none to learn the art of loving.”

I do have to acknowledge that more people than ever are seeking to learn how to love better… BUT, never have more people lacked genuine connection… and I think that’s because our phones have given us a perceived refuge from potential rejection… and they have allowed us to trick our minds and hearts into feeling “connected,” despite our avoidance of any task that creates perceived social risk.

AI, social media, smart phones, addictive kids television programming — They’ve all come on the scene SO FAST, and their hooks are going deeper and deeper into our psyche and souls.

Look, I think these tools are great (minus the kid’s shows, those are just awful). The problem is that by the time I realized I was losing my mind through my phone, and getting paid to do so, I was pretty far gone. It took me getting to burnout… it took my nervous system saying, “you can try to keep going, but I won’t let you. Also, I’m gonna make your phone make you feel sick, because it is making you sick.”

My tirade about technology isn’t to stop you from using it… it’s to stop you from letting technology use you.

Read that again.

You and I need to hit the brakes. We need to take a breath. We need to stop accepting the frenetic pace of technology, and get back into circadian rhythm. We need to align our hearts, minds, and souls with the pace of the Universe.

This is why intuition, God, “oneness,” and so many other things are found in silence and meditation. This is why sitting by a tree calms your nervous system. This is why a dog can co-regulate with you.

You. Are. Meant. To. Move. Slow.

Which doesn’t mean you can’t hustle or get shit done. It also doesn’t mean you can’t work all night and paint all day.

What it means is that the moments of your life have to be ruled by you. When you passively pick up your phone someone else is deciding that for you… they’ve programmed the software in your mind to mindlessly seek more and more of what you truly need (joy, love and connection) in a place that will NEVER be able to replace someone looking you in the eyes, holding your face in their hands, and saying, “I got you.”

AI can’t hug you when you’re feeling down.

AI can’t pick you up from the hospital.

AI can’t sit around a fire with you and tell stories and laugh about your childhoods.

AI doesn’t know what the 90s felt like.

AI can’t hold you while you cry on the bathroom floor because you’re broken hearted.

AI can’t let you have the last word.

AI can’t say, “I get it. I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there.” Because it never has… and even if it says these BS lines that sound so good… you’ll always know it’s full of sh*t.

But a human can do all of those things. And a really good human can do them exceptionally.

And one human like that will make you forget about Claude, or Chat, or your Instagram following.

I’m really craving creating more opportunities to experience more moments that make me forget about the Internet, while using the Internet to help do more of those things.

Get it?

Let’s use technology to create hope. Let’s use it to create more light. Let’s use it to find more real connections.

If you’re interested in meeting more like-minded people and taking active steps to change your life (AND reading a book cause it’s good for you brain and unhooking from the doom scroll and the doom everything), upgrade to become a paid subscriber because we get started on April 14th with a Bookclub where we will be reading “The Meaning of Your Life” by Arthur Brooks.

It’s an amazing book about creating and finding meaning in your life that you can grab here.

There will be 4 live Zoom calls over 4 weeks (Tuesday’s at 3pm MST starting April 14th)

Hanging with other book nerds who are ready to make big changes in their life.

And a dash of live coaching in there.

Upgrade NOW.

If you’re not into the book club but still feel like treating me to an overpriced latte as a way of supporting my writing (and helping me eventually escape Instagram) I’d really appreciate it. 😬

And I want to pick one up and read it alongside YOU. (book club alert 🚨 — details below)

KEEP READING CAUSE THIS DATA IS MIND BLOWING! 🤯

Turns out reading is pretty freaking awesome and something we all need to do more of — because… well, check this science out: 🤓

• The 6-Minute Shift: Research from the University of Sussex found that just six minutes of silent reading can reduce stress levels by 68%.

• Faster Than the Alternatives: This “escape” works faster and more effectively than other common methods, including:

  • Listening to music (61%)

  • Drinking a cup of tea (54%) (do we get a combined effect with 📕☕️?)

  • Going for a walk (42%)

• The Physical Reset: By forcing the mind to concentrate on a narrative, reading lowers your heart rate and eases muscle tension, effectively “breaking” the cycle of anxious thoughts.

Long-Term Cognitive & Physical Vitality

• A “Workout” for Empathy: Reading a novel creates changes in brain connectivity. It functions like a high-intensity workout for the pathways involved in empathy and emotional processing. (DAMN, this is amazing!)

• 20% Lower Mortality Risk: A landmark 12-year study by Yale University found that book readers had a 20% lower risk of mortality compared to non-readers—adding an average of two years to their lives.

• Potential Protection from Dementia: Consistent reading builds cognitive reserve. This mental resilience acts as a “buffer” that can potentially delay the onset of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease by keeping the brain’s neural circuits active and flexible as you age.

• Battling Depression: Studies show that people who regularly engage with therapeutic reading materials report lower depressive symptoms over time compared to those who don’t.

Why A Book Club & Why The Book “The Meaning of Your Life” by Arthur Brooks?

We aren’t just reading for the sake of making our brains go to the gym and get pummmmped; we are reading to build a better life, better relationships, a brain that can focus, and all the other delicious things that come from hanging out with other people who want to grow and change!

In our first selection:

The Meaning of Your Life by Arthur Brooks we will explore the crisis of meaning in today’s world, and how to create meaning in our lives and with those we love.

By joining the book club, not only are you getting your brain all amped up…you are also joining a community dedicated to discovering meaning together.

DOES IT GET BETTER? (no. The answer is no. Nope🙅‍♂️)

To join all you have to do is upgrade to becoming a paid subscriber.

The value you get is BANANAS:

• 4 live calls on zoom, where we get to nerd 🤓 out, with the opportunity for live coaching. (every Tuesday at 3pm MST, starting April 14)

• 4 articles a month from yours truly (of which 2 are only for paid subscribers)

• Access to all the future book clubs! 3/year… and the next book is gonna be AMAAAAZING.

• Exclusive access to super-early bird for all events and retreats.

So excited to read this book with you! It’s going to be incredible!!

If you have any questions, please leave them in the comments or fire me a DM.

P.S. $10/month for the annual. That’s it. That’s one latte. That’s LESS than one gallon of gas in California. To be part of a community. To commit to something. To exercise your brain. Upgrade NOW.

And if you’re not interested in the book club, but wanna buy me a coffee, that works too. ☕️🙏