COLIN Was a Finalist for a National Literary Award!

In exciting but belated news, COLIN GETS PROMOTED AND DOOMS THE WORLD was a finalist for the 2026 Stephen Leacock Medal for Humour. First established in 1946, it’s Canada’s second-oldest literary award and, I believe, the oldest award for literary humour in the world. I spent a lovely weekend last month in the town of Orillia, where Leacock lived for many years, rubbing elbows with past and present Leacock winners and nominees. All of them are exceptional (and funny!) Canadian authors, many of whom I’ve been fans of for years.

Now, did I win? No. But you know who else didn’t win when she was a finalist in 1993? Margaret Atwood. So I’m in pretty good company.

If you want to read something darkly hilarious and truly unhinged, grab a copy of the book that did win: She's A Lamb! by Meredith Hambrock.

Buy COLIN Here!

MESSY AS HELL is on NetGalley

The title says it all: my next book, MESSY AS HELL, is available for requests on NetGalley. Here’s a fun graphic all about it!!!

You can request an eARC on NetGalley here, followed (hopefully) by a glowing 5-star review on several platforms of your choice. (No, but seriously, please do review the books you enjoy! Word-of-mouth remains the single best way we have to sell books.)

Speaking of word-of-mouth, MESSY AS HELL has received several lovely blurbs from some of my favorite authors! Here are just a couple:

“Delightfully unhinged and cheerfully macabre, Mark Waddell’s newest book takes cozy corporate horror to the ninth ‘circle back’ of hell. Sam the janitor’s story is full of wordplay, shenanigans, dark rituals, and a friends-to-lovers romance that will mop you off your feet. Messy As Hell is fun as hell.”
– Emily Krempholtz, USA Today bestselling author of Violet Thistlewaite Is Not a Villain Anymore

“Messy As Hell is tons of fun, dark sorcery and the legions of hell against janitorial prowess and one cute rabbit. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like working for the evil corporation, this is the book for you.”
– Django Wexler, author of How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying

MESSY AS HELL is available on January 12, 2027, but you can pre-order your copy right now!

Pre-Order MESSY AS HELL (U.S.)

Pre-Order MESSY AS HELL (Canada)

What I’m Reading…

I just finished The Enigma Challenge by my friend and agent-sibling Sierra Godfrey, and oh boy is it great. Hank Phillippi Ryan described it as “Romancing the Stone meets The DaVinci Code,” which about sums it up perfectly. It’s an action-packed thriller about a cryptographer who is forced to race around Europe solving clues in an infamous and dangerous puzzle competition (with the help of a dashing and mysterious hacker, of course) before Very Bad Things happen. It’s superbly written, bouncing between high-stakes tension, steamy romance, and gorgeous descriptions of European locales. I loved every second of it.

The Enigma Challenge is out on August 11, but you can pre-order your copy here. And if you don’t already follow Sierra on Substack, you should!

…and Watching

Like everyone else, I’ve been obsessed with Widow’s Bay. It’s a real achievement to make a show that has you terrified one minute and laughing the next. I’m already excited for the next season to arrive.

I’m now embarking on season 1 of Silo, because I’d rather immerse myself in a fictional dystopia than think about the real one we’re all living through. 🫠

That’s all for now. As a farewell, here are Daisy and Lucy gazing into your soul and affirming that, yes, you are awesome.

Be well.

- Mark

Oh well. It’s a small price to pay for warmer weather and frolicking bunnies.

And hey, speaking of bunnies, check out the amazing cover for my next book, MESSY AS HELL!

I’m very excited to finally share news of the book with all of you. It’s a return to Dark Enterprises, but in a different office and following a new group of beleaguered employees trying to survive a looming catastrophe. Here’s a little more about it:

CAUTION! All employees must correctly dispose of otherworldly biohazards found on Dark Enterprises property. Failure to comply may result in one hell of a mess...

"If a door is closed, you leave it alone."

That's the one rule janitor Sam is given when he starts cleaning the thirteenth floor of the Denver branch of Dark Enterprises, the world’s oldest and most sinister company.

Sam is thrilled to be that much closer to his idol, Constantine Galanos, Denver’s ruthless and charming CEO, but he's even more excited to uncover the tantalizing secrets lurking up on the executive level. Maybe he’ll find something juicier than tawdry workplace affairs and petty office gossip, something he can share with his closest friends, daredevil Mia and secret crush Calvin.

When Sam comes across a closed door his first day on the job, he thinks one little peek can't hurt. But he’s dead wrong. Behind that door is a Type A biohazard—infernal materials from Hell on company property—and a deal that could spell doom for both Dark Enterprises and Earth...signed by the CEO himself.

Sam is in deep trouble now, and the problems keep piling up. The CEO's homicidal assistant wants him terminated, Calvin is literally losing his mind over a secret project, and there’s something very unusual about Mia’s emotional-support rabbit, Mr. Bun-Bun…

It’s a mess like no other, but Sam is a top-notch janitor. He’ll clean this up or die trying.

MESSY AS HELL comes out on January 12, 2027, but it’s available now for preorders. I would be super grateful if you’d click one of the buttons below and grab yourself a copy! Feel free also to put it on the radar of your local bookstore, and then tell your friends/families/coworkers/total strangers all about it.

U.S. PREORDERS - CLICK HERE

CANADA PREORDERS - CLICK HERE

In other news, I’m delighted to share that COLIN GETS PROMOTED AND DOOMS THE WORLD has been longlisted for the Leacock Medal, Canada’s national award for literary humour. To be in the running for a national literary award certainly wasn’t on my bingo card, but I’m thrilled and honoured that it’s happened. Positive manifesting and victory vibes sent my way would be greatly appreciated!

What I’m Reading…

I have two books to recommend.

The first is The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez, a lush fantasy novel that is filled with gorgeous mythology and heartbreaking loneliness. I couldn’t put it down.

My second recommendation is Hench by Natalie Zina Walschots, which follows a small-time henchwoman working for a mid-tier supervillain who sets out to destroy the world’s greatest superhero after a catastrophic encounter. It’s funny and dark and angry, and I loved every minute of it.

…and Watching

My husband and I are enjoying the latest season of Taskmaster, one of the best game shows to come out of the UK. If you’ve never watched, settle down and binge every episode for free on YouTube. You won’t regret it.

That’s all for now. Since it’s been a while since my last newsletter, I leave you with not one, but two photos of Daisy and Lucy. They think you’re pretty amazing.

Be well.

Winter has literally just started and I’m already sick of it. Out here on Vancouver Island we’ve been drenched by endless rain for weeks now, interspersed with teasing glimpses of sun that last until you walk outside just in time for more rain. I’m ready for longer days as the dark retreats. I’m ready for less darkness overall, if I’m honest, because…oof. The world feels mighty dark right now. I’ve been spending a lot of time at home lately, curled up in front of the fire with the dogs, an easily-accessible pile of snacks, and enough books and TV to bury me in pure escapism. See you in three months, I guess.

COLIN is out there, doing its thing. Last I checked it had more than 1,000 ratings on Goodreads, which…who cares, really, beyond the fact that people are reading it. Speaking of which, if you’re looking for last-minute holiday gift ideas, what could be better than a USA Today bestseller, amirite? Go ahead, pick up a copy or five!

In other news, COLIN has found a home at another major studio. The book was optioned originally by 20th Television, and when that option expired the rights were immediately snapped up by NBCUniversal. I’m not holding my breath for a TV series anytime soon, but it’s pretty amazing that that’s even a possibility. Definitely not something I ever expected!

I continue to work on the next book, making a little more progress every day. Writing this one has been tough, friends. It’s been really, really hard. Maybe I’ll talk more about that once it’s done and finished and out of my hands. Until then, please send positive writing vibes my way.

What I’m Reading…

I’m late to the party, but I’ve finally started Matt Dinniman’s Dungeon Crawler Carl series. It’s fun! I’m still waiting for it to hook me, though.

…and Watching…

Two words: Heated Rivalry. I’ve never been prouder to be Canadian.

…and Listening To.

(Yes, yes, I know there’s a dangling preposition, I don’t care.)

I’m a podcast fiend as well as a huuuuge science nerd, so I’ve decided to share one of my current faves: The Rest Is Science, which features two brilliant and charming people (Dr. Hannah Fry and Michael Stevens) discussing cool science stuff. For example, did you know that all of the water on Earth came here from outer space, and that more than half of that same water is older than the Sun?! That includes some of the water in your own body! 🤯

I’ll leave you with this photo of two parallel pups relaxing by the fire. From us to you, have a restful and joyful holiday season…or, at the very least, try and make it through the last days of 2025 in one piece.

Becoming a “bestselling author” was not on my bingo card, but it happened because readers took a chance on this weird, dark, chaotic book. So to everyone who’s picked up a copy: THANK YOU! If you’d like to keep spreading the word, please take a couple of minutes and leave a review on your site of choice. They really do help.

What’s that, you say? You haven’t bought a copy yet? Well, here’s your chance! Behold: a convenient button!

Buy on Bookshop.org

Promotion for the book has quieted down as the publishing cycle moves on to newer releases, but I wanted to mention a couple of things you might find interesting:

• I have some fun tips about writing messy, complicated characters in the weekly newsletter for The Shit No One Tells You About Writing — you can read it for free here if you don’t have a subscription.

• I also appeared on The Functional Nerds podcast and had a lovely time chatting with the hosts, Patrick Hester and Tracy Townsend. You can listen to the episode here.

In other news, my next book is back in the hands of my editors after another round of revisions. I’ll have more details about that — maybe even a sneak-peek of the cover design! — in a future newsletter. If you enjoyed COLIN, I think you’ll like this one too. I’ve had a lot of fun coming up with weird and horrifying scenarios to inflict on our intrepid heroes.

It’s what I call “Gross Autumn” here on Vancouver Island: everything is wet, cold, and covered in slimy fallen leaves. That means it’s the perfect time to curl up indoors with books and TV!

What I’m Reading…

I’m midway through James Islington’s The Will of the Many, a fantasy novel that takes place in an analogue to the Roman Empire. In this imagined reality, the Empire runs on Will, a magic-adjacent resource that every citizen is required to “cede” to those above them in the Hierarchy, even though doing so weakens them. It’s an interesting critique of capitalism wrapped in some neat world-building.

…and Watching

Matt and I just finished the 20th season of Taskmaster, a fantastic British game show in which comedians have to improvise solutions to all kinds of bizarre and hilarious tasks such as “Place something somewhere surprising” and “Find the shoe Alex is thinking of.” If you’ve never watched it, do yourself a favor and start at the very beginning — it’s available for free on YouTube.

Until next time, here’s Daisy and Lucy wishing you warm sun, blue skies, and a soft place to rest your head.

Be well.

I’m so happy that more people will get to meet Colin Harris. He’s been living rent-free in my brain for years now—now it’s time for him to live in yours, too! Sure, he’s a bit of a disaster, and yes, he makes a lot of morally-questionable choices…but haven’t we all, at some point? I hope his numerous misadventures make you wince, snort, laugh, and shout, “No, you idiot!” at the page.

I’m also happy that the book has been getting some positive attention leading up to today: it landed in both 19 New October Books the Goodreads Editors Can’t Wait to Read and the Fall Reading List from CBC Books, and Jordan Moblo of Jordy’s Book Club called it “wildly clever and incredibly original.” That’s pretty great!

If you’d like to get a copy for yourself, here are some convenient buttons to make that happen!!

Buy COLIN in the U.S.

Buy COLIN in Canada

I hope you read the book and love it as much as I loved writing it, which is a lot. And if you do, please yell about it! A quick review on Goodreads, Storygraph, Amazon, and anywhere else reviews exist will help other readers find Colin.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take the day off.

As the days in this hemisphere get shorter and colder, Daisy and Lucy hope you find lots of warm and cozy places to curl up and read a good book.

Be well.

We’re a little more than two weeks away from the arrival of COLIN GETS PROMOTED AND DOOMS THE WORLD, and my promotional models are hard at work, as you can see below.

They want everyone to know that this book is great and that buying it will put food in their bowls, so please, won’t you help to keep them fed? Please? They’re so cute and so hungry!

A Starred Review!

I’m beyond thrilled to share that COLIN recently received a starred review from Kirkus! This is a really big deal in the publishing world. Kirkus is notorious for writing tough reviews (as they did for my first book, haha, no hard feelings, *sob*), but a starred review is reserved for, in their words, “books of exceptional merit.” The squeal that emerged from my body when I got the email about this was…a little much, probably. But it feels appropriate when your work is mentioned in the same breath as some of your literary heroes:

“Filled with top-notch worldbuilding, entertaining antagonists, and tongue-in-cheek charm that’s reminiscent of Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, and TJ Klune’s The House in the Cerulean Sea (2020), this novel is not to be missed for fans of urban fantasy that gently toes the horror line.”

That, right there, is a dream come true.

Speaking of reviews, authors live and die by word-of-mouth. We depend on our readers to climb to the top of the nearest mountain and shout about our books to anyone who will listen. If you read COLIN GETS PROMOTED and enjoy it, please share that with other people! Hop onto Goodreads, Storygraph, and/or social media and spread the word—it only takes a minute, but every positive review helps.

Podcast Appearances

I’ve been busy spreading the word as well!

I recently appeared on an episode of the fabulous Heartracers podcast, hosted by author Sierra Godfrey (my agent sibling) and bookseller Claire Bone. If you haven’t listened to Heartracers before, stop everything and subscribe at once! It features conversations with all kinds of people involved in publishing, so if you’ve ever wondered how your favorite book actually made its way into the world, this is the place to learn.

I also had a lovely conversation with Matt Baume for his podcast The Sewers of Paris, of which I’ve been a fan for years. Matt is a connoisseur of queer culture who’s interviewed hundreds of fascinating people, so it was a thrill to be invited to chat with him. My episode should drop sometime around October 7th.

Right before releasing this newsletter I also talked with Patrick Hester and Tracy Townsend at the Functional Nerds podcast, another favorite of mine. They’re authors themselves who have interviewed countless writers in the realms of sci-fi and fantasy, and I was so delighted to be included. Watch for that episode to appear sometime in the next week or two.

I have a couple more podcast appearances coming up, but I’ll save those for a future edition of the newsletter.

COLIN is going to Brazil!

In other news, it looks like COLIN GETS PROMOTED AND DOOMS THE WORLD will be published by the Brazilian house Intrínseca. I can’t tell you how exciting this is for me. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine a book of mine would be translated into another language or published in a country as huge and diverse as Brazil. Talk about #authorgoals! More news about that as it develops.

What I’m Reading…

I recently wrote an essay for Reactor that had me revisiting some past favorites, so I’m re-reading Max Barry’s Company, a corporate satire that is both extremely funny and absolutely nuts.

…And Watching

Matt and I are safely cocooned in the soothing bubble of The Great British Baking Show, where everyone is lovely and the world isn’t a raging garbage-fire.

Until next time, Lucy hopes you find something to love and hug and chew with as much abandon as her Chewbacca toy, because we all need something to maul now and then.

Be well.

Well, okay, maybe not fast and furious, but there ARE several opportunities right now to win free copies of books coming out this Fall, including mine. Behold!

Enter Berkley’s Fantasy Reads & Queer Leads sweepstakes by August 17th for a chance to win copies of five fantasy books featuring queer leads! Available only to U.S. residents. Click here for more details.

Ace Books is running another sweepstakes August 18th - 31st, with a chance to win TEN fantasy books coming out this Fall! Available only to U.S. residents. More details here.

And if that’s not enough, you can also enter our Goodreads giveaway by September 1st for another chance to win a copy of COLIN GETS PROMOTED AND DOOMS THE WORLD. Just click here!

Whew. That’s a lot of free books!

My book also landed on two “Most Anticipated” lists from Indigo, our biggest commercial bookseller chain here in Canada. I was on a list with Margaret Atwood!! That’s pretty awesome.

Stay tuned for more in the weeks ahead, including podcast appearances as well as one or two brief articles written by yours truly.

In news of other books, I’m excited to share that I’m hard at work on my next novel. It’s set in the same corporate hellscape as COLIN GETS PROMOTED but features new heroes, new villains, and new horrors. I can’t tell you much more than that, but I’m really enjoying this story and I think fans of COLIN will too.

What I’m Reading…

I’ve become utterly engrossed by The Collected Adventures of Bannon & Clare by Lilith Saintcrow. It’s set in an alternate Victorian London filled with sorcery, intrigue, and strange technology, and it’s fantastic. The world-building is superb and the characters are incredibly engaging.

…and Watching

Matt and I are working our way through The Righteous Gemstones, a dark comedy that follows the trials and tribulations of the uber-wealthy Gemstone family and their megachurch. It’s satire-meets-slapstick with a healthy dose of family drama and even some badass motorcycle chases. It’s also frequently outrageous. Our jaws wind up on the floor a lot.

As always, I close things out with Daisy and Lucy, who hope that you have someone to lean on from time to time.

Be well.

- Mark

As the local flora comes to life, so too does the marketing campaign for COLIN GETS PROMOTED AND DOOMS THE WORLD. (Oooh, nice segue.) This is the long, weird period in the life of a forthcoming book when advanced reader copies, or ARCs, enter the world. Usually based on earlier, uncorrected proofs, ARCs (also known as galleys) are proto-books that publishers distribute to reviewers, media outlets, and others as a way of building interest. This is the first time ordinary readers, not just editors and publicists, will encounter your book. It can be scary, because this is when we start to see hints of how a book is landing with audiences. For better or worse, it’s out there.

And then we get to wait—in my case, six more months—for publication.

It’s fine. It’s all perfectly fine.

If you’d like to get your hands on an ARC, you can! Here are a couple of options:

• You can go to this link at NetGalley and request an e-copy. Publishers go through and approve requests from people with a demonstrated track record of posting ARC reviews, so if that’s you or someone you know, this is a free and easy way to get one.

• Alternatively, you can enter our Goodreads Giveaway! If you enter by April 30th, you’ll have a chance to win a free physical copy of your very own. (Sadly, this giveaway is limited to people in the U.S. I don’t know yet if my Canadian publisher is planning to do something similar.) I’ll drop a graphic below, and if you’d like to support me and this book, please feel free to share this and the link above with everyone you know!

In the meantime, I’m busy writing the next book, which is an agony all of its own. Maybe I’ll share more about that in my next newsletter, and you can marvel at the wonder that is the creative process. It looks a lot like this:

For now, I’ll leave you with one last image. Here are Daisy and Lucy, gazing soulfully into your eyes because they think you’re just amazing.

Be well.

~ Mark

Today, though, I finally have something exciting to share: the cover for COLIN GETS PROMOTED AND DOOMS THE WORLD. The “official” reveal is happening over at Reactormag.com, along with an excerpt from Chapter 1 of the book, but I wanted to do my own reveal for my subscribers as well. And on top of that, I’m including an excerpt from Chapter 3 later in this newsletter!

Without further ado, I give you…the cover!

Isn’t it lovely? I’m biased, but I think it might be the greatest cover in the history of covers. It’s whimsical and dark, just like the book itself, and filled with little details that will pop out at you as you read more of the story. I’m excited to see it on bookshelves in October!

Speaking of which, COLIN GETS PROMOTED AND DOOMS THE WORLD is now available for pre-order. Publishers watch pre-orders carefully to gauge interest and buzz as publication approaches, so the more there are, the better. If you’re interested in buying the book, or if you know someone who might be, please get those orders in before October 7!

Find U.S. retailers here

Find Canadian retailers here

And now, an excerpt from Chapter 3 of COLIN GETS PROMOTED AND DOOMS THE WORLD.

Colin Harris is a low-level employee for Dark Enterprises, humanity’s oldest and most sinister company. All he’s ever wanted is respect, power, and maybe the chance to rule the world someday…is that really so wrong? Unfortunately, his career aspirations have failed to materialize, and his boss, Ms. Kettering, has given him a week to turn things around before he’s terminated. Like, TERMINATED.

As early retirement approaches, Colin needs to find a way to save himself and make his dreams come true. But what is he willing to do in return?

On my way into Midtown the next morning, I read a shocking exposé about a beloved and progressive clothing company that was secretly exploiting children in sweatshops. What would happen next was entirely predictable. There would be the usual swell of public outrage, the contrite resignation of the company’s beleaguered CEO, and their replacement by someone with a long-standing passion for social justice. Then would come the secret phone call. The new CEO would ask Dark Enterprises if we could supply them with a workforce that didn’t require inconvenient things like bathroom breaks or a living wage. And we would, of course, for a price. Smug consumers would continue to buy twenty-dollar T-shirts, reveling in their brief flirtation with basic human rights, and somewhere down the line, after making an embarrassing amount of money, that CEO would find themself traded to a demon lord or a squirming extradimensional intelligence in return for something we wanted more than a cut-rate soul tarnished by avarice and shortsighted stupidity.

God, I loved capitalism.

When I finally got to work, the bland confines of Human Resources felt especially oppressive. I didn’t want to be there, but I had no choice. Maybe something would occur to me, some amazing plan to get me out of this. I could hand-deliver my reports to Ms. Kettering and explain the situation to her. I’d never noticed her to be a sympathetic or caring individual, but it might be worth a shot.

My heart skipped a beat when I looked up from the beige carpet and found Ms. Kettering herself waiting outside my cubicle, lips curved in a friendly smile. “Good morning, Colin,” she cooed at me.

“Good morning, ma’am,” I breathed anxiously.

“I need you to pop down to Transportation. We have a visitor waiting with questions about our extraction methods. Bring them to my office, please.”

I nodded in suitably obsequious fashion, desperate to earn more points with her. “Of course, Ms. Kettering. I’ll head there right now.”

Transportation was the next floor down, so after weighing my options I decided to take the stairs. It was one floor—I’d be fine. Pushing open the unmarked metal door, I stepped into the stairwell, my breath misting in the cold air. A strange scuffling sound floated from somewhere overhead as the door swung shut behind me with a hollow bang. Ignoring the unsettling noises as best I could, I started down the first flight of stairs, but it was hard not to notice when those noises grew louder.

The Stairmonster was coming.

No one knew what it was, but it had taken up residence about a month ago, picking off the smug health nuts who loved to extol the cardiovascular benefits of taking the stairs. Once it had worked its way through those idiots, Janitorial Services went in to try to clear it out, losing several people in the process. The executive board had promised to do something, but given the general attrition rates in the building, stairwell-related losses were probably a low priority. As a result, only the foolish or the criminally impatient risked traveling more than a single floor without using the elevators.

Trying not to panic, I reached the landing and hurried down the next flight as, behind me, labored breathing grew in volume. Practically falling down the last few stairs, I launched myself through another metal door, shuddering uncontrollably but refusing to look back as it swung shut behind me. Looking was always a bad idea.

It took a minute or two before my legs stopped shaking, and then I straightened my cardigan and told myself for the thousandth time that I would never take the stairs again. Who cares if taking the elevator a single floor was wasteful? It was better than disappearing like poor Alonzo, who got tired of waiting for the elevator and was never seen again.

The Transportation department was where specially trained acolytes maintained the network of gateways that connected the company to a myriad of other realms, planes, and dimensions. The entire floor was built around a wide, circular corridor, its white marble floors inlaid with sigils made from different metals, woods, and semiprecious stones, all of them intended to banish or destroy unwanted visitors. The air felt strangely heavy, too, thanks to more layers of protective magicks. Extradimensional incursions were an occupational hazard on the fifth floor, though we’d gone three weeks since the last one. Fortunately, the only person dragged screaming to the other side had been an intern.

As with most floors in the building, Transportation was far larger than our innocuous office tower in Midtown might suggest. It took almost ten minutes of walking before I reached the well-appointed waiting area in front of the elevators. Soft Muzak drifted from hidden speakers, blandly inoffensive but filled with strange dissonances that made the hair on my arms stand straight up. A solitary being waited for me there, tall and cadaverous and dressed in a three-piece suit the color of dried blood. It sat primly upright in a chair, a magazine held in front of the unsettling darkness where its face should have been, darkness given form and shape by a fine web of delicate silver chains pulled into a perfect sphere. I cleared my throat and it slowly lowered the magazine, bringing its attention to bear on me. It felt like tiny spiders with needles for legs skittering across my skin. I tried not to flinch. Some contractors found displays of human weakness extremely appetizing.

“Good morning,” I said as smoothly as I could. “Welcome to Dark Enterprises. I’m here to escort you upstairs to Ms. Kettering.”

Long, spindly fingers moved with a mesmerizing grace as the thing slowly closed the magazine and placed it delicately on a table to its left. Wonderful, it said in a cold, sepulchral voice that echoed as if emerging from a deep well. Lead on.

I gestured to the elevators and it rose in a sinuous, unnatural motion. Above the crisply starched collar of its pristine dress shirt, inky blackness pulsed and shifted within that cage of threadlike chains as it took a moment to adjust its cuffs. Its shiny wingtips dangled an inch or two above the floor, and it glided soundlessly after me as I crossed to the elevators. An awkward silence fell between us. The thing turned to study me and my skin prickled unpleasantly once more.

Finally, the elevator arrived. I allowed the being to precede me, folding itself almost in half in order to fit through the door, then pressed the button for the sixth floor. Smoothly, the elevator began to move before a thin finger reached past me and pressed the button labeled EMERGENCY STOP. The car shuddered gently as it halted.

You seem troubled.

Slowly, I turned to look up into the thing’s shadowed face. It gazed down at me with a solicitous tilt to its narrow shoulders.

“Me?” I said weakly. “No. I’m fine.”

Silence fell once more as it continued to watch me.

“Really. No problems here.” I didn’t want it looking at me anymore. “We should probably keep going.” My hand reached for the elevator buttons.

You are afraid.

I stopped, my finger hovering over the EMERGENCY STOP button.

Is it because they plan to kill you?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I whispered.

I think you do. It held out a black business card. Let me help you.

I stared at the card, unable to move.

Take it, it urged. When you are ready, place a single drop of your blood on this card and then speak the words. I will come to you and give you your heart’s desire. This I promise.

Mechanically, I reached out and took the card. It was made of heavy, expensive cardstock, but there were no words that I could see.

All I will ask in return is a single favor. Something small, unimportant. Promise to give me that, and you will have anything you want. That is fair, is it not?

I tried to speak, but my throat was so dry that nothing emerged but a strangled croak.

You are destined for great things, Colin. Let me help you achieve them.

Without another word, it pressed the EMERGENCY STOP button again and the elevator lurched back into motion. Mere moments later, we arrived at the sixth floor and the doors rolled open with another cheerful ding. I stood there, card clutched in my hand, until my companion turned to look at me once more.

“Yes,” I breathed, “right, sorry.” Without looking at it, I scurried out of the elevator and turned to the right, making a beeline for Ms. Kettering’s office. I was so eager to be rid of the thing that I stopped in the middle of the empty hallway and gestured toward her office door. “Here we are.”

This time, I couldn’t hide a flinch as it brushed those long fingers against my shoulder. Remember: I will give you your heart’s desire.

I didn’t reply. Instead, I turned and hurried away, faster and faster, until my skin stopped crawling.

Back in my cubicle, I hunched over my desk and turned the black card over and over between my fingers. The correct thing to do—the smart thing—was to surrender the card to Ms. Kettering. Employees were strictly forbidden from accepting gifts or favors from contractors, since more often than not they came with hefty strings attached. People still talked about the woman in Personnel who allowed a contractor to buy her a coffee back in the 1980s and then found herself feeding an endless succession of ravenous demonic larvae with her own flesh. She was still down there, somewhere. They said that if you listened very hard late at night, you could hear her voice floating eerily up through the air registers on the fourth floor as she crooned the Top 40 hits of 1987 while her body regenerated in time for the next brood.

Shivering, I stared at the card, fingertips running across its smooth surface as my mind spun furiously. I needed help, but was it worth whatever “small favor” that thing wanted from me? As bleak as my future looked, I didn’t want to replace it with an eternity of torment.

Slowly, I opened the top drawer of my desk and placed the card inside. Then I got back to work. Or, rather, I tried to. My gaze kept drifting to that drawer. Your heart’s desire, the thing had said. I could ask to become a trillionaire, or to have an eight-pack, or to make Henry Cavill fall madly in love with me. I could even be a “good person”—cue eye roll—and save the world by eradicating poverty or ending war or providing free, renewable energy. And sure, all of that sounded great, except for the Law of Unintended Consequences. That thing might end poverty by disintegrating 99.99 percent of the global population, or provide us with a source of renewable energy that required sacrificing children, or give me an eight-pack of Bud Light rather than abs to die for.

I needed to be smart about this.

I’d been staring at my computer screen for a while when the phone on my desk rang with jarring suddenness. Pressing the handset to my ear, I stammered, “Hello?”

“Colin.” Ms. Kettering’s high-pitched voice purred in my ear. “I’m still waiting for that visitor.”

I paused in dismayed confusion. “But I brought it—him—them up from the fifth floor at least half an hour ago.”

Silence. “Then where are they?” she demanded.

“I—I don’t know. I left them outside your office.”

“So you have no idea where they are?”

“No, ma’am.” My palms had started sweating. “I’m sorry. I showed it—them where to go and then went back to work.”

An irritated sigh traveled down the phone line. “Very well. I’ll look into it. I’m very disappointed, Colin.” Then she hung up.

I stared at the phone in my hand before slowly replacing it. So much for earning points with Ms. Kettering. I hadn’t seen the thing actually go into her office, but why would it stop there? Where else could it have gone? Unsettled, I glanced over my shoulder as if it might be standing at the entrance to my cubicle, those frail hands folded politely while it watched me, but there was just Beverly on the other side of the aisle, piling on more lipstick for some reason. Rolling my shoulders uneasily, I turned back to my computer and the spreadsheet waiting there.

Later, as I was getting ready to leave, I glanced across the bullpen and saw Sunil talking with Ms. Kettering. They were both watching me. Slowly, I opened my desk drawer and looked down at the card waiting there. Then I slipped it into my pocket.

Desperate times, I thought as I walked to the elevators.

I hope you enjoyed that. This book was an absolute blast to write, and I can’t wait to share it with readers.

That’s all for now. As always, I’ll leave you with a photo of Daisy and Lucy. They’re talking to one another about how great you are, I bet.

Be well.

We’ve moved into autumn, my favourite time of year. I love it when things get grey and windy and moody. In fact, here’s a whimsical autumnal image. Please enjoy.

Last month marked one year since my debut novel appeared. Next month will mark one year since I sold DARK ENTERPRISES to PRH and Penguin Canada. And it’s going to be ANOTHER year until the book is out! Somehow, time has both flown by and moved at a crawl. I keep disappearing into rounds of revisions, surfacing after a couple of months to beg the universe, “Please, please let these be the last revisions. Please make my editors declare this the best book they’ve ever read so we can MOVE ON ALREADY.”

I promised exciting news, however, so here it is: DARK ENTERPRISES has been optioned by 20th Television, and Hulu has commissioned a pilot script from the incredible screenwriter Akela Cooper.

[cue delirious scream]: Ahhhhh!!!

This is well beyond anything I imagined when I sent an early draft of this book to my agent, so to say I’m thrilled is an understatement. Akela is unbelievably talented and I can’t wait to see what she does with the pilot.

As in all things, I’m trying to manage my expectations. Publishing a book is slow, but making a TV show is slower, if it even happens at all—90% of optioned titles never make it anywhere close to production. Nonetheless, DARK ENTERPRISES has gotten this far and that’s something to celebrate!

I’ll share more news as things develop, but for now, I’m focused on making the book as good as it can be while starting to write the next one. (More on that in due course as well!)

One thing I’m reading…

Starter Villain by John Scalzi. It’s off to an interesting start, but now there are talking cats and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

…and watching.

Like most people, I’m suffering from advanced Marvel fatigue, but Agatha All Along is off to an excellent start. Kathryn Hahn is incredible—her deadpan snark brings me life. I’m also thrilled to spend time with a strong character that’s, uh, morally nuanced (*cough*evil*cough*). We need more relatable villains.

Now for some cuteness!

Daisy and Lucy hope you find the most amazing patch of sunlight to lie in, because we all deserve some sunlight in our lives.

Until next time, be well.

On August 23rd, it will have been a year since I published my debut novel. Weeks before it appeared on shelves, however, I knew that The Body in the Back Garden would not be the start of a cozy mystery series after all. The publisher, Crooked Lane, had already turned down the second book, citing poor buy-in from retailers. Booksellers weren’t pre-ordering enough copies. This news was especially tough to receive because retailers really only stock books in response to marketing from publishers—if that marketing is limited or ineffective, buy-in is low. So, two months before my debut appeared, I learned not only that Crooked Lane hadn’t marketed my book successfully, but also that they were dropping me. My career as a published author seemed to be over literally before it had begun.

I’ve since realized that this isn’t uncommon in traditional publishing. Books become bestsellers because publishers decide, often years in advance, that they will be successful. Likewise, books that don’t land or that fail to find an audience are usually the victims of insufficient marketing or general indifference on the part of the publisher. This was a hard lesson to learn but, in hindsight, I’m glad I did. It’s allowed me to approach the many ups and downs of publishing with my eyes wide open.

As it happens, my career as an author is not yet over. I mentioned in a previous newsletter that I have a new book coming out next year: DARK ENTERPRISES, a funny, dark take on corporate America with blood sacrifices and sorcery thrown in for good measure. I was lucky enough to sell this book to both Penguin Random House and Penguin Canada, and I’m also happy to share with you that the book has been optioned by 20th Television, a subsidiary of Disney. I don’t know if it will ever be made into a TV show, but it’s in the hands of an amazing screenwriter. If anyone can get it made, she will.

Most of my subscribers found me through The Body in the Back Garden, but I hope you’ll stay with me as I pivot to a new genre. I started writing DARK ENTERPRISES years ago and it really is the book of my heart. It’s what I wish I’d found when I was a nerdy kid reading fantasy novels 30 years ago. With the help of my amazing friend and fellow author, Sierra Godfrey, I’ve revamped my website to reflect this new direction in my career. Check it out here, and if you know anyone who likes dark, spooky, funny things, send them there too!

One thing I’m reading…

Django Wexler’s How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying, pitched as Groundhog Day meets Deadpool. It’s a really interesting take on a villainous origin story, featuring a woman from our world who’s spent the last thousand years trying to defend a magical kingdom from the forces of evil. Having died 273 times, she decides that if you can’t beat ‘em, become the Dark Lord yourself.

…and watching.

Season 4 of Umbrella Academy. Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman as creepy bad people named Jean and Gene are the best thing about this season, by far.

As always, Lucy and Daisy are unmoved by the vagaries of publishing. They think you’re pretty amazing, though.

Until next time, be well.

In three short weeks, I’m off to New York to attend the Edgar Awards! My book, The Body in the Back Garden, is a finalist for the Lilian Jackson Braun Memorial Award from the Mystery Writers of America. It’s a huge honour, and also my first real event as a published author. Crossed digits, fervent manifesting, and good vibes are all greatly appreciated!

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TOMORROW (Monday, April 8th) I will be participating in an online symposium with three of my fellow nominees for the Lilian Jackson Braun Memorial Award . This is a chance to meet the nominees, hear us read brief excerpts from our books, and get to know us a little better. I’m really looking forward to it!

If you’d like to attend, you can register for free here or watch it live-streamed (starting at 8pm EDT) on MWA’s YouTube channel. The symposium will also be recorded and available on YouTube afterwards.

In other news, I am drowning in revisions on my current project. I’ve read this book so many times now that it’s just a blur of words and plot points. Is there a story somewhere in here? Other people seem to think so. Let’s hope I find it again before my next deadline!

One thing I’m reading…

I’ve been working my way back through Max Gladstone’s Craft Sequence. They’re vivid and wonderfully imaginative books set in a world where humans fought the gods and built a modern world that runs on dark sorcery and industrial capitalism. Gladstone is a fantastic writer, and his vision is both unique and genuinely world-spanning.

…and watching.

I’m late to the game, but I finally watched Severance and loved every minute of it. My current project, Dark Enterprises, is set in a creepy corporate office where things aren’t always the way they seem, so this show really did it for me.

That’s all for now. As always, Daisy and Lucy want you to know that you’re amazing. They see you doing your best, and they’re very proud of you.

Be well.

Mark

The Body in the Back Garden is an Edgar Award nominee!

I’m delighted to share that my queer cozy mystery, The Body in the Back Garden, is a finalist for the Lilian Jackson Braun Memorial Award from the Mystery Writers of America. The award is given to the best cozy mystery published in the previous year, as selected by a panel of professional authors. My book is in really excellent company, alongside cozies by Vivien Chien, Jennifer J. Chow, Patricia Johns, and Danielle Arceneaux.

As an added bonus, my husband and I now have a good excuse to visit New York! We’ll be there for the MWA Awards Banquet on May 1st, with photos of us looking uncomfortable in black-tie to follow.

In the meantime, please keep your fingers crossed for me!

The Professional Book Nerds also named The Body in the Back Garden one of their Best Books of 2023!

This was a lovely surprise to receive at the end of last year. I enjoy the PBN podcast, and it was pretty thrilling to hear my book mentioned as a Best-Of selection. Full credit goes to the amazing Daniel Henning and his excellent narration of the audiobook.

You can listen to the full episode here.

If you know someone who might enjoy an Edgar-nominated, Best-of-2023 cozy mystery, why not buy them a copy? Or, better yet, let them buy it themselves! Just click on the button below and point them to the links at the bottom of the page.

Click Here!

In other news, I’m very excited to announce that I have more books coming!

As you can see, the next book is very much not a cozy mystery. I started working on DARK ENTERPRISES in 2019, long before I wrote my first cozy, and I couldn’t be happier that it will be on shelves next year. Stay tuned !

One thing I’m reading…

Helen Oyeyemi’s Gingerbread. Beautiful and strange and incredibly inventive. Highly recommended!

…and watching.

My husband and I recently worked our way through the HBOMax series The Other Two and cackled the whole time.

That’s it for this long-delayed newsletter. Until next time, here’s an important life lesson from Daisy and Lucy: whenever you find a patch of sunshine, bask in it for as long as you can.

Be well.

Mark

As of today, The Body in the Back Garden has been out in the world for six weeks. Positive reviews and a few nice messages have rolled in, and I’m glad people are enjoying it. Sometimes, I feel like a parent who’s sent their child off to college—I hope they’re doing okay, but they’re on their own . It belongs to readers now, not me.

(If you’d like to grab your own copy, or send one to a friend, click below!)

Buy a copy!

Recently, I did a fun interview with Dan White, who features LGBTQ+ authors on his podcast, Out With Dan. You can watch it below, or find it on Spotify or SoundCloud.

Here are some of the books I read over the past month:

Conviction, by Denise Mina. A thriller that starts with a true-crime podcast and becomes a country-hopping adventure through Europe. There are some very dark elements to this story, but also some surprising moments of warmth and hope. I enjoyed it.

The Rook, by Daniel O’Malley. Contemporary fantasy set in the UK. A woman finds herself standing in a park, surrounded by dead bodies and with no idea who she is or what has happened. The story revolves around a clandestine government agency that deals with supernatural threats, and was adapted into a series for Starz. Highly recommended if fantasy is your jam!

Dietland, by Sarai Walker. A dark and witty take on the beauty industry and society’s obsession with weight loss and women’s bodies. Also adapted into a TV series. I love this book—it’s bleak but also very funny, and the character of Plum is wonderfully relatable. Though it was published eight years ago, its cultural commentary is still on-point and (unfortunately) pertinent.

I also just finished watching The Other Black Girl, the Hulu series based on the book of the same name by Zakiya Dalila Harris. It was excellent. I especially appreciated the biting commentary on the clueless racism still embedded in certain corners of the publishing industry, not unlike R.F. Kuang’s Yellowface. I’ve already requested the book from my local library, and I can’t wait to read it.

Hopefully, I’ll have some exciting publishing news to share next month. (!!) For now, Lucy wants you to know that you’re doing great, and that she believes in you.

Be well.

- Mark

As any published author will tell you, though, the days and weeks and months post-publication are weird. There’s so much expectation and anxiety and promotion before a book comes out, and then it’s just…there. Done. Finished. Time to move on. I hope people are out there enjoying it, but I can’t afford to worry about it, because I have other books to write! (More on that in future newsletters, I hope.)

If YOU would care to enjoy my book, feel free to click this handy little button and get yourself a copy!

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When the crazy rollercoaster that is the publishing industry gets too much for me, I try to remind myself that there are lots of things in the world that deserve far more of my attention and time. For example, look at this amazing flower I found while walking my dogs! I have no idea what it is, but its beautiful complexity is a useful reminder that there are more things in heaven and earth than book sales, to paraphrase Shakespeare.

Like roughly half the global population, I’m reading Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros, a gripping fantasy novel with dragons, romance, and more dragons. It’s very good, and I’m enjoying every single page. It’s also a nice reminder that authors sometimes publish lots of books (Rebecca Yarros published more than a dozen) before coming out with a massive bestseller. I’m genuinely excited for her success with Fourth Wing, and I can’t wait for the next one!

I hope you have a lovely September, and if you find yourself getting a little stressed, try and follow Daisy’s example. She knows how to just lean back and let things happen.

Mark

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As of tomorrow, my first novel is officially out in the world. It’s a queer cozy mystery with a touch of romance sprinkled amidst the dead bodies, and it’s also the culmination of seriously wild ride. I had no idea what publishing a novel would be like, and I’m here to tell you that it’s not all kittens and rainbows. But, with the help of some amazing people, I’m learning how to navigate this strange industry that has given me a chance to create and share entire worlds of my own.

This newsletter is my attempt to build a little community of like-minded people — folks who love twisty whodunits, fantasy novels, adorable dogs, and nerdy facts. At the beginning of each month, I’ll share updates about what I’m reading, what I’m working on, and how cute my dogs are.

I hope you’ll join me, and so does Daisy, who believes in you and thinks you’re awesome.

Buy The Body in the Back Garden now!

More soon!

Mark