This coming weekend, I will be going on my annual silent (blessed silence) retreat. Please leave a comment or message me about how I can pray for you while I am there.

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This week’s thought

“Dreams, books,
Are each a world; and books, we know,
Are a substantial world, both pure and good:
Round these with tendrils strong as flesh and blood,
Our pastime and our happiness will grow.” William Wordsworth

From my library

You may have guessed from the Wordsworth quote that I am continuing in the Emma Lion series (IYKYK). I am halfway through volume seven and still finding it delightful, although a little disappointed in the romance. I would have picked someone else for her (no spoilers here).

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Each week I'll share a thought, what I'm reading, a saint to accompany us through the week, something beautiful, something homey, and a blessing. Among other things.

This week’s thought

“The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort; you were made for greatness.” ~ Pope Benedict XVI

My library

It was a slow reading week. I finished volume five of the Emma Lion journals, but I have not yet begun volume six. I also started Shady Hollow but have only just started. I also, in a burst of unusual optimism, ordered a copy of Middlemarch. I saw online that it was part of the first-year curriculum for literature students at Oxford University, and it’s always been on my TBR list. I have an English lit degree from a much less prestigious university and never encountered George Eliot. I feel the need to rectify that.

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I’ve been thinking a lot about rituals these days. Partly because September, which is approaching fast, seems to speak to me of new beginnings much as January does, and partly because I now have more leisure in my days since my children are grown or nearly grown. I have the time to create rituals in my days. I am not interrupted constantly by small children, although the dog does his best to keep me on the hop.

For example.

Every evening, before I go to bed, I put the kitchen back in order. The counters are wiped, the dishes are put away, and the coffee is set up for the morning. My husband checks the doors and the deck, and sometimes he sets up the coffee too. None of this is particularly impressive, nor is it always done cheerfully. But when I come downstairs the next morning, the room seems to say that life is still in order and a new day can begin. That is, of course, if no one has decided to cook a midnight meal for himself.

This is the quiet power of ritual. Small actions, faithfully repeated, give shape to our days and stability to our homes. They help us remember what matters before the world has a chance to distract us.

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Rituals are not about making life prettier, though they certainly can, and they are not about making life perfect. Nothing can do that. Rituals help us slow the pace and experience life more fully.

Alexandra Stoddard wrote in her book Living a Beautiful Life, “Rituals and details are not ends but stepping stones, tools to aid us in the enjoyment of the actual process of living as fully and as creatively as we possibly can.”

I love her books.

The Catholic Church understands this very human need, which is why ritual is woven so deeply into our worship. Many Protestants—and I am generalizing here—believe that rituals were important in the Old Testament but that the New Covenant eliminated the need for them. Christ and the Bible, they maintain, are all that is necessary for worship.

But I think this overlooks our very human need to connect the body and mind with the spiritual life. To dismiss ritual as empty repetition is to dismiss the idea that what we do, repeatedly and faithfully, helps form who we become. A person who makes a ritual of healthy routines, exercise, taking supplements, and eating well will eventually become healthier. In much the same way, a person who participates fully in the sacramental life is formed by it.

Our faith is deeply embodied and ritualistic. We genuflect, light candles, bless ourselves with holy water, kneel to pray, fast on appointed days, and return to the same prayers year after year. These rituals, or rites, relieve the mind and body of constant decision-making and allow the spirit to rest in God.

Domestic rituals work in much the same way: opening the curtains and windows to let in fresh air and morning light; making the bed first thing; using the same words each morning to wake the children; lighting a candle at the dinner table; tidying the house before bedtime; reading before sleep; keeping Sunday set apart.

At their best, rituals give shape to our days. They steady us during unsettled seasons and turn ordinary actions into expressions of love, attention, and faith.

None of these things matters merely because it is picturesque. Their real value is that they create stability and preserve our attention. When certain good things happen almost automatically, we have more interior room for what truly matters: prayer, hospitality, conversation, service, and rest.

Not everything, and not every day. This is not another exhausting standard for women to meet. It is a gentle rhythm, a way of keeping a home peaceful, purposeful, and alive.

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Each week I'll share a thought, what I'm reading, a saint to accompany us through the week, something beautiful, something homey, and a blessing. Among other things.

This week’s thought

“Given a tiny new human being, how can you know what encouragement to give? Is this a musician, painter, writer, mathematician, or zoologist who will do something magnificent in one of these areas, given the right beginning? The knowledge of what talents lie within the seed is hidden, but an atmosphere can be conducive to developing in many directions, until later one or another becomes obvious as some special talent. The environment in a family should be conducive to the commencement of natural creativity, as natural as breathing, eating, and sleeping.”

~ Edith Schaeffer, What Is a Family?

My Library

I finished the third volume of The Unselected Journals of Emma M. Lion. If you haven’t started this series, you are missing out. I have lost count of how many times I have laughed out loud reading these books. Just delightful. I meant to start Shady Hollow last week, but some house projects took over my free time. The Emma books are free on Kindle if you have Kindle Unlimited.

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Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Take about two pints of blueberries, wash and de-stem. Put them in a saucepan with 1/2 a cup of sugar, 1/2 a cup of water, and a tablespoon of flour. Heat until bubbly and syrupy.

While the blueberry magic happens, in a large mixing bowl put two cups of AP flour, a tablespoon of sugar, a tablespoon and a half of baking powder, and a teaspoon of salt. I use kosher, but table salt is fine too.

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Whisk that together and then add one and a half cups of heavy cream. Use a wooden spoon to mix it until everything is just wet and combined. Don’t overmix. If you need a little more cream, add a tablespoon at a time.

Put a pie plate (or some other suitably sized plate) in the oven with two pats of butter. When they melt, take the plate out and swirl the butter around. Put the hot blueberries on the plate, then spoon the cream biscuit mixture over the blueberries. A little sanding sugar sprinkled over the top is a nice touch.

Pop it in the oven for about half an hour or until the top is slightly golden. Serve warm; vanilla ice cream is optional but encouraged.

Let me know if I can turn any other healthy foods into sugary, creamy goodness for you.

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Blueberry Cobbler

Filling

2 pints of blueberries, blackberries, or any berries. Mix them if you like. Frozen works fine as well.
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup water
1 tablespoon flour

Cream Biscuits
2 cups AP flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 tablespoons baking powder
1 tablespoon sugar
1 1/2 - 1 3/4 cups of heavy cream (no substitutes)

1-2 tablespoons of butter for the pan.

Whisk together the dry ingredients. Add the 1 1/2 cups of heavy cream and mix gently with a wooden spoon until all the dry ingredients are wet and just combined. Use a little more cream if needed.

Place the butter in the pie dish and warm it in the preheated oven until it just melts. Swirl it around to coat the pan. Add the blueberries and then spoon the biscuit mixture over the top. Return to the oven for about half an hour or until the top is golden.

Each week I'll share a thought, what I'm reading, a saint to accompany us through the week, something beautiful, something homey, and a blessing. It's a little like the old blogging days, when people shared the small moments that made up a life. If you remember Leila Lawler's Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real or The Simple Woman's Daybook, you'll recognize the spirit of what I'm hoping to create here.

This Week’s Thought

“You can’t build yourself a world made to measure, but you can build a village.”

~Natalia Sanmartin Fenollera, The Awakening of Miss Prim

My Library

I finally read Maiden Crown, and I enjoyed it very much. I was shocked at how much of the book I remembered and how many details were so familiar to me. I haven’t read it since I was about thirteen, and I never owned a copy; I checked it out of the library. A few times to be sure, but since I barely remember dinner time yesterday, I found it funny that I remembered so much of the book. I’m going to stop harping on it to you all now.

I recently finished, on Audible, Mad Mabel by Sally Hepworth. I read a Sally Hepworth book on a work trip, having found myself with nothing to read so I picked it up at a Target Store. It was The Good Sister, and it was a decent read. Hepworth’s books are a quick (maybe two hours) way to fill up some time. Not deep but entertaining. I saw the twist in Mad Mabel pretty quickly, but I enjoyed it all the same.

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I recently undertook to jump-start my creativity by writing more intentionally in my commonplace and doing some creative journaling. It gave me the idea for a new little series that will be ongoing here. Each week I will share: a thought, what I am reading, a saint to accompany us through the week, something beautiful, something homey, and a blessing. It’s kind of harking back to the old blogging days when people would share short snippets of their lives. I’m thinking of Leila Lawler’s series Pretty, Happy Funny, Real and the Simple Woman’s Daybook.

This Week’s Thought

“Some believe it is only great power that can hold evil in check. But that is not what I have found. I have found that it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love.”

Gandalf to Galadriel in The Hobbit, An Unexpected Journey by J.R.R. Tolkien

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This year has been wholly different. I still know little about the game, although he has answered my questions (which were asked to be polite; I really don’t care) and I have watched a few games with him (I was trapped). What I am most enthralled by (yes, I chose the word enthralled) is the joy of these fans. That and their utter conviction that America is a place to be celebrated.

I’m sure you have all seen the videos of the Tartan Army (whom I would follow into any battle) in Boston and then Miami. Those fans brought joy with them wherever they went.

How about Freddy from Germany waxing poetic about the joys of Taco Bell and Walmart?

The Norwegians pretend to row longships everywhere. The sheer joy of it all.

I know that wherever the World Cup takes place, there are many celebrations, and the fans bring their festivities with them. However, so many of them have expressed shock at how friendly Americans are, how much fun they are having, how great the food is, how beautiful the landscapes and the air conditioning. They can’t seem to get over the air conditioning. They were conditioned to think that America was awful, that Americans were awful, and the shock that none of that is true seems to have someo f them floored.

I have spent a lot of time over the last few weeks thinking about patriotism and the virtue of loving your country. I know it is flawed. America is a deeply flawed nation. As is every other nation on earth. However, in the last 250 years, America, through grit, determination, the grace of God and some luck, has become a world power, an inventive giant, a leader in research and development in just about every field and, whether we like it or not, the world’s peacekeeper. Not bad for a baby nation.

It’s ok to love America. It’s ok to wax poetic about its founding, its successes and to honor the people who have fought for and died for everything we hold dear. It’s ok to fly flags, sing songs and stand at attention during the anthem.

Whatever the talking heads say, whatever the politicians do, don’t let them steal the joy of loving the greatest country on earth.

Be like Freddy from Germany, find the joy in the simple things that make America great. For great we are, great we have always been, and great we shall continue to be.

God bless America.

I have a new series to share with you! I liked it so well that I have actually, over the last month or so, read all ten books in the series and will embark on the author’s next series shortly.

The Ela of Salisbury mystery series is set starting in the year 1226. Ela of Salisbury was a real Countess who was married to King Henry II’s illegitimate son William Longspée (or Longsword). After Longspee’s death, Ela became High Sheriff of Wiltshire, castellan of Salisbury Castle, and ultimately founder and abbess of Lacock Abbey, where she died in 1261 at the age of 74.

She was a fascinating figure, having been able to keep the post of Sheriff at a time when women were not expected to hold positions of power. She also managed several manors profitably and was one of the wealthiest people in England during her lifetime.

Read more about her here.

Lacock Abbey is now on my list of places to visit in England. It was shut down by Henry VIII (of course) and became a private home, but the foundations are still there. It would be so cool if it were still an Augustinian monastery. Blasted Henry.

The series focuses on Ela’s work as the Sheriff of Wiltshire, and it includes many historical figures. The mysteries are interesting, and her methods are real to life. That is, she often is bewildered until something makes the perpetrator obvious. Her deep faith and love for her children all seem to be historically accurate. The author, J.G. Wells, came upon Ela when researching her own genealogy and decided that she was less known as a powerful historical figure than she should be, so she wrote these books.

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If you enjoy this period in history and a decent mystery story, I am sure you will enjoy these mysteries. The descriptions of how the jury system worked and how a coroner determined the cause of death were interesting.

There are ten in the series, so you could have a whole summer reading list with just this series. The first one is called Cathedral of Bones, An Ela of Salisbury Mystery. It is a series that helps to start at the beginning to know all the characters and their relationships to one another, so I do recommend you begin with number one.

I know I am late to the party with this, but I have one episode left of The Other Bennet Sister, and I have to tell you that if you have not made time to watch this series you must do so immediately. It is what I call perfect television. It is heartwarming with enough tension to prevent its being too sweet.

Do tell me what is on both your summer watch and reading list.

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I happen to love Day in the Life posts. Chalk it up to being nosy, but I love a peek into other people’s lives. I also love to see how people organize their day because I have spent the last few months trying to set up routines to make my days feel more structured and to be more productive. Working from home can present challenges when it comes to being productive but also getting enough time to rest without feeling like you always have to be working. I think I am getting there.

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4:45 am - My watch buzzes me awake, husband is still sleeping. I walk as quietly as possible to the bathroom where I had set out my clothes last night. I dress and take care of hair and make up and walk downstairs.

4:55 am - Make a pot of coffee for the early crew and set up a pot for the later crew. Drink in peace for five minutes until the oldest and youngest son both join me. Other than the perfunctory morning greetings, there is silence.

5:15 am - Oldest son leaves for work.

5:35 am - Put the coffee things in the dishwasher and drive middle son to his job at church.

5:45 am - He opens the church, and I make my way to a pew and start my holy hour (which is really about 40 minutes).

6:25 am - Go into the sacristy, make sure I prepared the correct reading. Re-read everything and check the pronunciation guide. First Book of Kings has some challenging names.

6:30 am - Mass begins. Lector

7:00 am - Back in the sacristy, collect the linens that need to be washed and then drive home.

7:05 am - Arrive home, yes, I only live five minutes from the church, and say hi to husband who is drinking the coffee I set up. Pour another cup for myself.

7:15 am - Farewell to husband, change for my walk. Fold a load of laundry from last night, wipe down counters, and put the coffee in a carafe.

7:40 am - Drive to the park with the walking path, walk 3.45 miles, and then head home.

9:00 am - Weed two vegetable beds, deadhead the roses, set up the sprinklers, and get them going. Eat a piece of buttered toast.

9:20 am - Get dinner in the crock pot, chicken gyros.

9:30 am - Shower, dress, hair, make-up.

10:00 am - Open up laptop, delete most of the emails, and get to work.

10:45 am - Groceries (ordered last night) arrive. The dog has a fit, and the youngest helps put them away.

11:00 am - 1:00 pm - Work. Review podcast scripts, write an article for the magazine, and research the next chapter in the science course I am writing.

1:25 pm - Go pick middle son from work.

1:40 pm - Realize I am hungry and set out to make a sandwich but youngest son offers to grill some burgers.

1:55 pm - 2:30 pm - Eat and read my book.

2:30 pm - 5:00 pm - Work.

5:00 pm - Finish dinner prep. Warm the pitas, make tzatziki sauce.

5:45 pm - Serve up dinner. Kids clean kitchen.

7:00 pm - Tidy up the house, read, catch up with husband.

10:00 pm - Bedtime.

In between all of that, there were phone calls, conversations, people at the door, and more than one dog issue (he’s very old and getting loopy). I checked in on social media more than once, for work and personal stuff. All in all, a pretty typical day for me.

What are your days flowing like lately? What routines do you have in place to help you be productive?

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My one-month break turned into six weeks or so. It was a busy and fruitful time and I am glad to be back here. Thanks for sticking it out with me.

To update…

I finished my big work project, a first-grade art and poetry course, and it’s in production now.

I started a new project, a kindergarten science course. I am having so much fun with this one. Think lots of drawing and fun experiments.

I have made some progress on creating a printable of the Saint Benedict study. Not as much as I hoped, but I will get there.

I had some painful oral surgery from which I have now recovered. I have a fairly high threshold of pain, but I detest anything dental.

I had a flare-up of sciatica, which was also painful but is over for now.

We had wood floors installed in our bedroom. It was such a blessing to say goodbye to the seventeen-year-old carpet that had been on its last legs for far too long. It was gross. No more carpets.

The wood floor installation triggered a whole redecoration project (my husband was DEEEEELIGHTED). I had it painted and indulged in an accent wall of wallpaper. Now I am stumped as to what to hang on the walls.

The color looks gray in this photo but it’s a soft blue.

l have my beautiful olive wood crucifix on the wall facing the bed, and I was thinking of a plate wall above? Are plates in a bedroom weird? The drapes are going up in a few days, they are a creamy white and blue with touches of green.

I also have new lamps, but I need to get new shades.

What do you think? What would you hang there?

I have a post coming about a new-to-me mystery series. I am really enjoying it and am looking forward to sharing it with you.

I am speaking at the Seton Home Study School graduation this coming weekend. We have 196 graduates attending, representing thirty-four states and nine countries. There is a virtual graduation as well, and many students attend locally held homeschool graduation ceremonies. It is a real joy to be part of this day for these young people, and I look forward to it each year. If you could spare a prayer for a successful day for us, I would appreciate it.

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I’ve been thinking lately about how much I value this space—and all of you.

So, I’ve paused billing for this month as a small thank you. Partly because posting will be a little sparse as I finish a big work project, get the Benedictine booklet together, and tend to some things here at home, but mostly because I am truly grateful for your support and presence.

No changes on your end, and nothing changes here either. Just a quiet gesture of gratitude.

In a world that moves quickly, this has been a place of steadiness for me. I hope it has been for you, too. I have plans for this space, and I hope you stick around for them.

Thank you for being here.

“To every man then, if he is head of his own house, ought the office of the Episcopate to belong, to take care of how his household believes, that none of them fall into heresy—neither wife, nor son, nor daughter, bought at so great a price.”
— Saint Augustine

At my baby shower, my mother, who never met a gift she didn’t love to give (shopping was a calling with her), presented me with a small prayer book called Mother Love, written by a Capuchin priest, Father Pius Franciscus. Twenty years later, I had to replace that original copy because it was quite literally falling apart. The current one, which goes everywhere with me, is now held together by a rubber band and, fittingly, a prayer.

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It contains the usual prayers, the order of the Mass, and petitions for the many situations mothers find themselves bringing to God. It has been a steady companion and one of my dearest possessions.

So when my friend Regina told me that her husband, Andrew Schmiedicke—father of nine, had written a similar book for husbands and fathers, I was delighted. Andrew clearly takes his role seriously as what he calls the “domestic priest” of his family, but with the understanding that leading a household to God is a marathon, not a sprint, especially when that household includes babies and toddlers.

I knew the book would be good when I read Regina’s words in the foreword:

“Also, my husband figures there are more opportunities for the quality prayer time to happen if we have a quantity of appointed prayer times. We feel it’s better to pray together, even if it’s a little hectic, rather than waiting for the perfect moment.”

This is a man who understands the assignment.

It brought me right back to our own Friday night family rosaries, twenty-five or so small children in a room, older children coming and going, and a level of noise that required special graces to endure. One hopes the Blessed Mother appreciated the effort, even if the delivery was less than serene. Meditative it was not.

Andrew explains the idea of the “domestic priest” clearly in his introduction. While the phrase may sound unusual at first, it fits naturally within the Church’s understanding of the family as a domestic church. Drawing on the early Church Fathers, the Catechism, and voices like Pope Paul VI, he makes a compelling case for the father’s spiritual leadership in the home.

The book itself is deeply practical. Like Mother Love, it meets families where they are. Alongside traditional prayers are original ones written for the realities of family life: prayers with one’s wife, blessings for children, petitions for illness, exams, new homes, and even new pets. My personal favorites were the blessing of the bacon and the wine. I would never have thought of that, and now I will be asking my husband to bless the wine whenever we open a bottle.

It is not difficult to see how much is lost when fathers do not take up this role. Encouraging men to lead their families in prayer, and giving them tools to do so, is no small thing. A small, pocket-sized book like this, accessible and grounded in real life, can quietly shape a home, and in doing so, shape the world beyond it.

Father’s Day is not so far off. This would make a thoughtful and meaningful gift, for a father, a husband, or a man just beginning to step into that calling.

The Regina I spoke of, wife to Andrew, is the talented Regina Doman, author of many books. Her fairy tale series is beloved by my daughters, and multiple copies of each volume take up a shelf in one of our bookcases. Check them out here.

I want to thank Andrew for the gift of a copy of his prayer book. This review is entirely my own opinion, and I was not compensated for this review.

There are affiliate links in this post. Thanks for your support.

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This article (written by me) originally appeared in Seton Magazine in 2015, and I thought it might be helpful for moms embarking on the marathon that is Holy Week. This is meant for practical advice, not spiritual, but if you are a mom of young kids you are sure to experience some form of penance this week. Vade cum Deo.

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Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” (Matthew 19:14)

One wonders if it occurred to any of the Apostles to add on “but only if they can sit still and behave while you are talking” to the end of that sentence.

Your Survival Guide

Keeping the wiggle contained in the marathon that is Holy Week presents a big hurdle for moms and dads. Even though we are at a point where our youngest is able to sit still and listen for the entirety of the Mass, which I’m pretty sure has more to do with “getting his chocolate donut after” than any natural piety, even the well behaved young one can experience some challenges during this rich yet arduous season.

During this week, you no sooner get home from one Mass or service than it is time to find clothes and shoes again for the next one. In between, you are trying to prepare for the coming celebration, clean the house and carefully draw your children into both the solemnity and the beauty of what is happening. Oh, and eggs. You have to dye eggs. It’s a lot.

It can be overwhelming and can really rob Mom and Dad of the peace and joy that should accompany the celebration of the Resurrection, so I’ve developed a few strategies that may help avoid some meltdowns (I’m talking about Mom’s meltdowns) and make for a more serene week.

Monday Schedules

On Monday I check all the schedules. We have two cantors, a flutist, an altar boy, and a couple of choir members. All of these ministries participate fully in Holy Week and often there are rehearsals ahead of time. I chart out who has to be where when and I plan the driving and the dinners.

On Monday I also take everything that’s needed to dress each child for Masses in the coming week, and I arrange them by outfit on a hanger. This includes socks, tights, shoes, slips, etc. For the young ones, I keep the outfits in my room, while the older ones keep the arranged outfits in their rooms. This may seem a bit extreme, but when you are frantically looking for a collared shirt for your altar boy or that one patent leather Mary Jane shoe on Easter morning, you are going to wish you had listened to me.

Stay Fed – Simply

Keep dinners very simple in Holy Week. I tend to stick with the three S’s: soup, salad and sandwiches. The big meals will wait until it’s time to celebrate, which frees up some time each evening for the preparation of the coming day.

Feed small children before Mass, especially evening Masses. There is no obligation for small children to fast, and a hungry three-year-old is a recipe for disaster. Every. Time.
Speaking of food, go easy on the candy on Easter morning.

A little protein and some good carbs are likely to result in a well behaved child; seventeen Cadbury eggs are likely to result in a demon. Limit each child to one piece and then let them dive into it all after Mass.

Four Tips to Encourage Focus

1. Do not give into the temptation to bring toys or devices to church because the Mass is longer. This will only serve to make more noise, create squabbles, and distract others, thereby making you more conspicuous and also teaching the children that Mass is something they need to “entertain themselves” through. Make the commitment to train them to be still and quiet; it’s worth the effort.

2. Take some time to read through the Gospel before leaving for church. I have found that children are much more likely to tune in when they are hearing the readings for the second time. Discuss what’s going to happen and what it all means.

3. Encourage the little ones to listen for the bells, wonder at the incense and sing with abandon. This might be a nice activity for Holy Monday, which is generally the least occupied day of that week.

4, Try to avoid any non-church-related activities that week. It might be better to skip soccer practice this once or cancel the piano teacher, thereby lessening the stress on everyone and creating some needed space in the days to focus on the solemnity of the week.

The most important thing you can teach your children this week is the great joy that occurs when Christ defeats death and sin and rises from the dead purely for love of them.

Make every effort to make the Masses this week personal to them because it is an unfolding love story that stars your child and his heavenly Father.

Who doesn’t love to sit still for a love story?

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Note: Please forgive me for posting this, the last in our series, a day late. It was unavoidable. Writing this series has truly been fruitful for me, and I hope for you as well. I will begin closing the series to paid subscribers shortly. I hope to do other series in the future and would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions about that.

At the very end of the Rule of St. Benedict, after all the guidance on prayer, work, humility, and community, St. Benedict leaves us with a single, luminous line: “Prefer nothing whatever to Christ.”

It is simple and impossibly demanding.

The word “prefer” does not feel very dramatic. It sounds gentle, almost optional. I prefer feta cheese over gruyere, something like that.

St. Benedict means something deeper. He is asking us to order our entire lives around Christ, to place Him quietly but firmly at the center of everything.

And this is where it touches the heart of motherhood because motherhood is full of competing loves. We love our children fiercely. We care for our homes, our husbands, and our responsibilities. Our days are filled with needs that feel immediate and urgent. It can seem, at times, that there is no space left for anything else.

But St. Benedict is not asking us to love Christ instead of our families. He is inviting us to love Him first so that we can love them well, which sounds hard, precisely because of the immediacy of the needs of family and home.

When Christ is at the center, everything else finds its proper place.

Without that center, even good things can become overwhelming. We can begin to measure our worth by how well the day goes or how much we accomplish. Getting our work done is important, of course, but getting it done for the love of God is where the accomplishment gives us peace. We are made for peace.

“Let nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you. All things are passing. God never changes.”~ St. Teresa of Avila

How do we do this? How do we put Christ first? Begin with the small things.

Pause before responding.
Choose gentleness over sharpness. (deep breaths)
Remember that our children belong first to God.
Remember that our marriages are supposed to make us holy.
Recognize that your work, however hidden, is part of something eternal.

This preference is not expressed through grand gestures. It is lived in the small, hidden choices of the day. The everydayness of it is what glorifies God. Grand gestures are few and far between; vacuuming happens often.

Choose prayer when you would rather scroll.
Choose patience when feeling stretched thin. (again a deep breatah helps)
Choose trust when anxious about the future.

Return, again and again, to the quiet awareness that Christ is present here, in this moment. When you bend down to wipe a dirty face, or offer to drive the teenager and friends to the next thing (especially if you don’t want to), or when you smile at your husband when he enters the room, you are loving in the way that we are meant to love and thereby putting Him at the center. It does not have to be harder than that.

St. Benedict’s final words are not meant to burden us, but to free us. When we prefer nothing to Christ, our hearts begin to rest in Him. And from that place of rest, we can give ourselves more fully to the lives we have been given.

Because in the end, this is not about perfection. It is about orientation.

A heart that turns, again and again, toward Christ will find Him already there.

“Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.”~ Matthew 6:33

Journal Prompts

1. What do I “prefer” most in my daily life right now? Where does Christ naturally fit into my day, and where is He crowded out?

2. When I feel overwhelmed, what am I turning to first for comfort or control? How might I turn to Christ in that moment instead?

3. In what areas of my motherhood or daily responsibilities am I tempted to hold on too tightly, rather than trust God?

4. What would it look like, in a very small and practical way, to prefer Christ in my day tomorrow?

Focus Challenges

1. Begin the Day by Choosing Christ First
   Before checking your phone or beginning your tasks, take a moment to offer your day to God.

2. Pause Before Reacting
   When a moment of frustration arises, pause briefly and turn your thoughts to Christ before responding.

3. Let Go of One Small Attachment
   Notice one thing you cling to for comfort or control and gently release it into God’s hands.

4. Return to Christ Throughout the Day
   Choose a short prayer, such as “Jesus, I trust in You,” and repeat it when your mind feels scattered.

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Life has a way of filling every available space. In the same way you seem to expand to fit your income, your daily tasks expand to fit every waking hour. There are meals to prepare, children to corral, errands to run, work to complete, and a thousand small responsibilities that quietly claim our attention. Even a not-so-busy day can have 100 tasks if you look at all the little things we do.

Earlier in this series, in Week 3, we reflected on the Benedictine rhythm of ora et labora, prayer and work. St. Benedict understood that these two are not meant to compete with one another. Instead, they support and sustain each other. Work grounds us in the responsibilities of daily life, while prayer lifts our hearts toward God and gives meaning to what we do.

In the Rule of St. Benedict, we are given a simple but profound instruction. “Nothing is to be preferred to the Work of God.” By this, Benedict meant the rhythm of prayer that anchors the life of the monastery. Prayer is not an interruption of real life. It is the very heart of it.

For those of us living in the world, the form may look different, but the truth remains the same. Prayer steadies the soul. It reorders our thoughts. It gently draws us back to what matters most when the noise of the day threatens to carry us away.

Scripture reminds us of this quiet dependence on God. Saint Paul writes, “Pray without ceasing.” In another place he urges us, “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” These words are not a call to abandon our daily duties. Rather, they invite us to carry an interior awareness of God through the ordinary moments of the day.

Saint Teresa of Avila described prayer in beautifully simple terms. “Prayer is nothing else than being on terms of friendship with God.” Friendship does not require elaborate words. It grows through steady presence.

For those of us who could weep at the thought of one more thing to do, this is good news. Prayer does not always require a long stretch of silence or a perfectly ordered morning. It can begin with a simple offering at the start of the day. It can be a brief pause before responding with patience instead of frustration. It can be a whispered plea for help while washing dishes or folding laundry.

When my children were small, and I was constantly on the go, always tired from lack of sleep, I would step into bed at night and think, yes, now I can pray. About four beads into a rosary, you can guess what happened: I fell asleep. I would be so hard on myself about my inability to pray well until a friend told me that I shouldn’t worry, that my guardian angel would finish the rosary for me. It’s a lovely thought. What is even lovelier is that I can pray even without sitting still and handling the beads. I can pray as I go, and perhaps that prayer is the most heartfelt. It is the prayer centered on action, and those actions are born from love. Love of family, friends, community.

Saint Benedict also writes, “We believe that the divine presence is everywhere.” If this is true, then prayer is never far away. God is already present in the kitchen, in the car, in the quiet moments after the house has grown still.

Prayer is not one more task to complete. It is the lifeline that keeps our hearts connected to the One who sustains us. In that connection, we find the strength to begin each day again with patience, gratitude, and hope. And remember, if you fall asleep, your angel has you covered.

Journal Prompts

1. When during my day do I feel most overwhelmed or hurried? How might a brief moment of prayer change that moment?

2. What forms of prayer bring me closest to God right now? Quiet prayer, Scripture, the Rosary, short prayers throughout the day, or something else?

3. When I think of prayer as a “lifeline,” what does that mean for my daily life as a woman, wife, or mother?

4. Are there moments in my day that could naturally become moments of prayer? Morning coffee, washing dishes, driving, walking, or waiting? Do I spend those moments scrolling when I could be quietly praying?

5. What worries or burdens am I carrying that I need to place more intentionally in God’s hands?

Focus Challenges

1. Begin the Day with a Simple Offering
   Before the busyness begins, offer the day to God in a short prayer, asking Him to guide your thoughts and actions.

2. Pause for One Minute of Prayer
   Choose one moment during the day to stop and quietly turn your heart toward God. Use your phone to set a timer.

3. Turn Ordinary Tasks into Prayer
   While doing a routine task such as cooking or folding laundry, repeat a simple prayer such as “Jesus, I trust in You.”

4. End the Day with Gratitude
   Before going to bed, thank God for three small moments of grace from the day.

5. Carry a Short Prayer with You
   Pick brief line such as “Lord, have mercy,” or “Come Holy Spirit,” and return to it throughout the day.

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I always felt that one of the easiest ways to celebrate a feast day with young children is simply to build a small stack of stories that bring the saint and the culture to life. A picture book read aloud on the sofa with a cup of tea and a few sweet treats nearby can sometimes do more to shape a child’s imagination than an entire lesson plan. Coloring pages and crafts accompanying a story really bring the saint to life.

Over the years, we have collected a basketful of Irish stories that, even now, we look for on the shelves every March.

Here are a few favorites.

A Beautiful Introduction to St. Patrick

One of our favorite picture books about the saint himself was Saint Patrick by Ann Tompert, illustrated by Michael Garland.

Tompert is a gifted storyteller for children. Her books manage to be historically faithful while still speaking to young readers. The illustrations in this one are vibrant and full of movement. It is the sort of book that invites narration and conversation after you close the cover.

Tompert also wrote Saint Nicholas and Joan of Arc, Heroine of France, both wonderful additions to a Catholic home library.

Another of her books, The Errant Knight, is not a saint story but is well worth tracking down.

Saint Patrick

Note: This one is out of print and therefore a bit pricey.

A Simple Book for Younger Readers

If you have very young children, St. Patrick’s Day by Gail Gibbons is a nice addition to the stack.

It is not great literature, but it does a good job introducing the story of St. Patrick in a way that early readers can follow. Gibbons also touches on the traditions surrounding the March 17 celebration.

The illustrations are bright and a little cartoonish, which younger children tend to love.

St. Patrick's Day

A Quiet Lenten Story from Ireland

One book that has become part of our yearly Lenten reading is The Blackbird’s Nest: Saint Kevin of Ireland.

When this book first appeared in our house, my son Kevin was two and completely unimpressed with the coincidence of his name. Nevertheless, it quickly became a favorite.

The story tells of Saint Kevin’s transformation from an awkward boy into a holy monk. The illustrations by Doug Montross are luminous and full of life. Very engaging for a squirmy boy.

It is a beautiful and peaceful story that fits naturally into the Lenten season.

The Blackbird's Nest

A Lesser Known Irish Saint

Another lovely book is Saint Ciaran: The Tale of a Saint of Ireland by Gary D. Schmidt.

The paintings are extraordinary and capture the deep greens and soft light of the Irish landscape.

Saint Ciaran was called to follow a God whose name he did not yet know. His search eventually led him to Rome, where he met Saint Patrick. Patrick encouraged him to return home and begin the work of bringing Christianity to Ireland.

Ciaran became a hermit who was never truly alone. His prayerful life drew others to him, and communities of monks and nuns soon grew around him.

It is a beautiful story about listening to God’s call.

Saint Ciaran

A Must for St. Patrick’s Day

No feast day in this house would be complete without Tomie dePaola.

His Patrick: Patron Saint of Ireland remains one of the most beloved picture books about the saint. DePaola has a way of telling sacred stories with warmth and clarity that makes him a true friend to Catholic homeschooling families.

Patrick: A Patron Saint of Ireland

Some Irish Fun

Not all of our reading is strictly religious.

My favorite story to read to the children was Fiona’s Luck by Teresa Bateman and illustrated by Kelly Murphy. It’s whimsical, funny and full of mischief. I still pull it out and read it each year.

The story is set in Ireland during a time when the leprechauns have gathered all the good luck of the land into one great treasure. Without luck, everything begins to go wrong. Crops fail, animals wander off, and the people grow discouraged. Fiona O’Finnegan, however, refuses to accept that things must remain this way. Using wit, courage, and a little mischief, she outsmarts the King of the Leprechauns and returns luck to the people of Ireland.

We also loved St. Patrick’s Day in the Morning, the story of a young boy determined to prove he is old enough to march in the town’s St. Patrick’s Day parade. Lot’s of fun for your primary students.

And the Jamie O’Rourke stories by Tomie dePaola are pure Irish mischief. The tale of Jamie O’Rourke and the Big Potato always brought laughter.

There are a few movies that the children really enjoyed seeing as part of our festivities.

Darby O'Gill and the Little People

The Secret of Roan Innish

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A Quiet Evening for the Parents

At some point during the week, when the children were finally in bed, there was one Irish tradition that belonged just to the parents. Pouring a pint of Guinness and watching The Quiet Man.

St. Patrick’s Day does not have to be elaborate to be meaningful. A few well chosen stories, perhaps a little Irish music in the background, can turn an ordinary week into something memorable.

And if you are anything like me, you may find that these books find their way off the shelf year after year, even as the children become teens and young adults, becoming part of the small traditions that shape a family’s life.

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Memory is strange about books. We forget titles, authors, and plot details, but certain stories remain lodged somewhere in the mind. Recently, I found myself thinking about a novel I read in middle school, a book called Maiden Crown. I remembered only fragments: the names Valdemar and Tove, a tragic ending, and the sense that it was based on an old legend. That was enough to start me on a small literary quest.

If that happens to you, I wish you better luck than I have had.

The author of the book is Meghan Collins. Collins wrote two books, as far as I can find out, both published in the 1980s. The Willow Maiden is a children’s book, and Maiden Crown is what would now be referred to as Young Adult. The book retold the story of King Valdemar, who lived in 12th-century Denmark and married a Russian princess named Sophie. He neglected to give up his girlfriend, Tove, when he married, and the jealousy led to awful things.

I read this in middle school. That kind of blows my mind. My mother had long since stopped supervising my reading because it would have been a full-time job. She knew I was a mystery fanatic, and aside from reading all of the typical Judy Blume type things common to girls at the time, she assumed I was sticking to Sherlock Holmes and Miss Marple. I spent hours alone in the library reading whatever struck my fancy. Fortunately, libraries were more circumspect about their offerings back then, and I didn’t run into too much trouble.

When the thought of the book popped into my head, I was trying to remember the title and the characters. I remembered Tove and Valdemar, but Sophie eluded me. I remembered the tragic end to the book and that it was based on a ballad and a legend. I finally gave up trying to remember and fed what details I could think of into ChateGPT and it immediately spit out the name and the cover.

I set about to find a copy, beginning with the library, and when that failed, eBay and Thriftbooks. Each has one copy. ThriftBooks for about $95 and eBay for $150.

Even I am not that crazy. Don’t think I didn’t considered it, for a split second. But no, I am truly not that nuts.

I have scoured second hand books stores for a few months, even going so far as to trek into Manhattan and visit The Strand bookstore, which purports to have 18 miles of books. The young man helping me was very impressed that I brought them a title they did not have; he had always been able to find a copy of whatever someone was looking for. I consoled myself with a few purchases.

I suppose part of the charm of old books is that they sometimes slip quietly out of the world. Not everything remains endlessly available with the click of a button. Some stories, like memories, grow a little elusive with time.

Still, I haven’t given up. Somewhere there must be a copy of Maiden Crown sitting quietly on a shelf, in a used bookstore, a library basement, or someone’s childhood bedroom, waiting to be rediscovered.

In the meantime, the search itself has been oddly pleasant. It has sent me wandering through libraries, secondhand bookstores, and The Strand, which, even though its eighteen miles of books did not include Maiden Crown, I was able to add several new titles to my already precarious stacks at home. I would never complain about a few hours in The Strand.

Now I’m curious: have you ever had a book from childhood that suddenly resurfaced in your memory? Have you ever gone looking for a long-forgotten favorite, only to discover that it has nearly vanished? And if by some miracle you happen to own a copy of Maiden Crown, do let me know. I promise to give it a very good home.

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“The home is the first school of Christian life.”
— St. John Paul II

St. Benedict’s brief but powerful warning reminds us that how we spend our time shapes the condition of our souls. Idleness does not simply mean rest or leisure; it means the slow drift into distraction, discouragement, or purposelessness that can come when we lose sight of our vocation. The Benedictine tradition teaches that purposeful work, offered to God, becomes a path to holiness.

Have you ever opened a social media app, “just to relax for a minute,” and looked up astonished at how much time had elapsed? Have you ever spent a whole day binge-watching a show and approached the next day with undone laundry and a sink full of dishes? How about the perfectionism trap? If I can’t do it perfectly right now, I will do it later. I find that social media enables this. If the bathroom needs to be cleaned and decluttered, but you don’t have the “perfect” little shelves or baskets, so you need to wait until you can do a run to the home store, meanwhile the bathroom stays dirty and cluttered.

All of these are traps of idleness. And as Saint Benedict says, “Idleness is the enemy of the soul.”

For women living out their vocation in the home, this teaching is especially meaningful. Much of our work is quiet and unseen, laundry folded, meals prepared, lessons taught, floors swept, tears comforted. In a culture that often measures work by status or salary, these tasks can seem small. Yet when done with care and intention, they become acts of love that build the domestic church day by day.

However, the work of the home can be discouraging. How many times do you clean the kitchen each day? Empty and refill lunch boxes? Fold towels? All of these things are necessary and relentless because no sooner are they done than they need to be done again. So why shouldn’t we take a little break on the pretty social media app with all those perfect people doing perfect things? They are out there romanticizing their lives, and you are scraping egg yolk off the stove top.

“Work is a means of sanctification and a way of animating earthly realities with the Spirit of Christ.”
— Pope Paul VI

Work done well does not mean perfection. And it isn’t particularly romantic, in any sense of the word. It means approaching our duties with diligence, gratitude, and attention. When we prepare a meal thoughtfully, help a child understand a difficult lesson, or keep our home orderly, we are cooperating with God’s work of creation and care. Our ordinary tasks become opportunities to practice patience, perseverance, and humility. Those egg yolk scraping moments become prayer.

At the same time, St. Benedict reminds us that meaningful work protects us from the restlessness that comes when we lose direction. A well-ordered day, balanced between prayer, work, and rest, helps guard our hearts from the temptation to waste time in habits that leave us discouraged or dissatisfied.

“The ordinary acts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest.”
— St. Thomas More

This week, consider how you approach the work entrusted to you. Are there small tasks you rush through or resent? Could you offer them to God instead, seeing them as part of your vocation? Just as the Benedictines work at even the smallest tasks as an offering of love, so too can we, mothers, wives, daughters, co-workers and caregivers lovingly approach small and large tasks, turning them into prayer. Ora Et Labora.

When we embrace our daily work as a gift rather than a burden, it becomes a quiet form of service to our families, to our communities, and to God Himself. In this way, faithful work transforms ordinary moments into a life of purpose and grace.

Journal Prompts

1. The Work Entrusted to Me
What daily tasks fill most of my time right now? How might I approach them with greater attention and gratitude?

2. Hidden Work
Which parts of my work feel unseen or unappreciated? How can I remember that God sees and values even the smallest acts done with love?

3. Rest vs. Idleness
What helps me truly rest and renew my strength? What habits lead instead to distraction or wasted time?

4. Offering My Work
How might I consciously offer one part of my work today as a prayer for someone else?

Focus Challenges

1. Do One Task Slowly and Well
Choose one ordinary task, washing dishes, folding laundry, or helping a child, and complete it with full attention and care.

2. Begin Work with a Prayer
Before starting your day’s responsibilities, briefly offer your work to God.

3. Eliminate One Small Distraction
Identify one habit that leads to idle or wasted time and replace it with something meaningful. Delete the app.

4. Encourage the Workers Around You
Thank a family member for work they have done well—whether a chore, schoolwork, or an act of service.

Downloadable Journal and Focus

Note: This week I will be putting weeks five and six behind the paywall. This will help support the many hours of prayer, writing, and creation that go into this work. Week six will go behind the paywall next week and so on. I believe this journey is worth investing in, and I’m deeply grateful to those who choose to support it.

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St. Benedict viewed the monastery as a school of charity where personalities differ, weaknesses surface, and patience is tested daily. Community life is not always comfortable, but it is deeply sanctifying. It teaches us to bear with one another, to forgive quickly, and to place the common good above personal preference.

For women living in the heart of family life, community is not an abstract idea — it is the daily reality of shared space, shared burdens, and shared joys. The domestic church gathers saints in the making: noisy children, distracted spouses, aging parents, and our own weary selves. In this setting, love is not sentimental. It is practiced in small acts of generosity, restraint, and attentiveness.

I remember when my children were young, thinking that once they were older, the noise and the petty squabbles would cease, and there would be more harmony.

Ha. A house full of adults is differently fractious, but is fractious all the same. Parenting does not end when they are eighteen, but your ability to force compromise on people does.

St. Benedict instructs his monks to “anticipate one another in honor.” The first time I read that I misread the phrase, replacing honor with horror, and I thought, “ I can see that making sense.”

You can imagine what kind of a week I had been having.

Saint Benedict’s intention in that instruction was to invite us to lead with respect rather than demand it. Imagine the transformation in a home where family members seek to outdo one another in kindness: a door held, a chore done without complaint, a sharp word swallowed before it escapes.

Living closely with others exposes our impatience and self-protection, but this exposure is a gift. It shows us where grace is needed and where pride still hangs on like a leach. When friction arises, it’s an opportunity to choose humility over defensiveness, reconciliation over silence, and mercy over being right.

The need to always be right is the pathway to loneliness. No one wants to be around that person.

Community life also calls us beyond the walls of our homes. We are made for communion with friends, parish members, neighbors, as well as the poor and those who suffer. There is so much suffering.

True community is built not on convenience but on fidelity: showing up, listening well, bringing a meal, sending a note, praying for another’s burden. It can be as small as a smile.

I had a friend, who made a Lenten commitment to smile at everyone in her home whenever she caught their eye. She told me that within a few days the entire mood of her home lightened. She said it was as if the whole house let out a deep breath and relaxed. Though she wasn’t an ill-tempered woman, and her children were pleasant, this small act of smiling completely changed the atmosphere of her home.

Imagine what we could do in the outside world.

Today, consider how you contribute to the spirit of your community. Do your words build unity? Do your habits foster welcome and peace? Do you make room for others’ weaknesses as Christ makes room for yours? Do you bring a sense of purpose and vigor to the activities in which you participate?

Community life is not merely about living together; it is about growing in love together. In the ordinary exchanges of daily life, charity takes root, and Christ becomes visible in our midst.

Journal Prompts

1. Practicing Charity at Home
Where in my home life do I feel most impatient or easily irritated? What might charity look like in that situation? How can I improve the atmosphere of my home?

2. Beyond My Front Door
Who in my parish, neighborhood, or extended circle might be feeling isolated right now? What small act of connection could I offer? Is there a way I can connect people who need to belong?

3. Letting Go of Being Right
When conflict arises, do I seek peace or victory? What would humility look like in my next disagreement?

Focus Challenges

1. Perform One Hidden Act of Service
Complete a task that benefits the household without announcing it. Offer it up.

2. Speak Words that Build Unity
Offer sincere encouragement or gratitude to each family member today.

3. Practice the Pause
When irritation rises, pause before responding. Lower your voice and choose gentleness.

4. Reach Out in Fidelity
Send a note, or text to someone who may need encouragement. Tell them you were thinking of them. Share an enjoyable memory.

Downloadable Journal and Focus