A child examining leaves with a microscope. Photo by Anna Shvets.

In many ways, this concept challenges how we have been conditioned to approach learning through formal public education. In this system and as I shared in my TEDx talk, we often reward answers over powerful questions and knowledge over the beautiful, messy process of learning and exploration to pursue knowledge. But there’s hope: we can train and even rewire our brains toward this new approach of a beginner’s mind to explore questions, possibilities, and new perspectives.

Benefits of a Beginner’s Mindset

What are the benefits of embracing a beginner’s mindset? There are many:

• Increased openness to new information, ideas, and perspectives, which can overrule our tendency to narrowly interpret new information as confirmation of our own existing beliefs, also known as confirmation bias. This increased openness helps us learn more and understand things more deeply than if we are just stuck to our own way of seeing things.

• Increased curiosity and creativity: When we approach things as if for the first time, we are more curious and feel compelled to ask and explore questions that start with why, how, and what if, which can lead us to more questions, insights, and ideas.

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• Improved problem-solving through approaching problems without preconceived notions and thereby an ability to see solutions we otherwise couldn’t see. Japanese Zen master Shunryu Suzuki articulates this in his book Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind: “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.”

When I started a new role last year, I was pleasantly surprised by how easy it was to embrace this beginner’s mind when one is actually a beginner at something-like at a new organization. I found myself asking a lot of questions that start with “Why?”, “How?”, “What do we mean by…”, and “What if?” While this beginner’s mind was easy to apply as a new employee, I want to be able to sustain it well beyond my first year and access it in my personal life as well to approach new people and situations with this same openness, curiosity, and sense of possibility.

So, how can we continue to embrace a beginner’s mindset at any stage of our lives and careers?

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How to Apply a Beginner’s Mindset

First, being aware and eager to have this mindset is the first step, which you have already accomplished by making it this far!

Second, practice open mindedness to be open to and seek out new ideas and perspectives. Make sure that as you learn more about people and things, you don’t start to assume you know everything about them, or that what you do know is certain and immutable. While knowledge and expertise are valuable, you can still learn new things about people and issues, including things that may surprise, challenge, expand and even replace your current schema of thinking-be open to this.

Third, approach people and situations like a researcher, scientist, and detective-full of inquiry, curiosity, and a lot of questions. Here are some questions you can ask, especially for complex issues you want to tackle, whether in your career or personal life:

• What beliefs, assumptions, and prior experience may be affecting my view of this?

• Whom and what are we missing? (people to engage, insights, perspectives, etc.)

• What is possible/What if we…?

• Why (do I/we do this, is it this way?)

• How (does this work, could I/we…?)

• What artificial barriers am I imposing on this based on my personal views or experience?

• Who can I talk to, to understand this more deeply?

Fourth, inject more novelty into your life through meeting new people and learning and trying new things. When we pursue novelty, we are tapping into the beginner’s mind simply because we are a beginner-in a relationship, idea, or situation. Pursue these new experiences not only to strengthen your beginner’s mindset but also to expand your network, knowledge, and worldview-and to have exciting adventures along the way!

Whether you are at the beginning of your career or are 30-plus years in, or you are Gen Alpha or a Baby Boomer, everyone can embrace a beginner’s mind, and you can begin today with some of these strategies. And as more of us practice this, just imagine the deeper relationships, new perspectives and ideas, and innovative solutions we can unleash together.

Another way you can show your support is to buy me a coffee-just click on the link below. Thank you for your support!

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My guess is you felt maybe a little tired physically, but energized psychologically. Proud, satisfied, maybe even fulfilled. These are examples of what I call a “joyful challenge”-an intentional challenge we choose to pursue over a course of weeks, months, even years-that challenges and stretches us but that also helps us grow and gives us something to work toward and accomplish. Research backs up this feeling of reward when we do hard things, finding that people derive more enjoyment-as seen physiologically through a stronger dopamine response- to more effortful activities compared to less effortful ones. Dr. Neir Eshel, one of the study’s authors, notes that this research explains why people report enjoying the view from the top of a mountain more when they hike it versus when they drive up it, because the hiking required more effort. Fascinating, right? (Though depending on how tall that mountain is, I like having the driving option!)

And I think these joyful challenges can be especially valuable when we are feeling stuck, unmotivated, burned out, or any other negative state. Taking on a joyful challenge can redirect our energy and attention to something that requires focus and effort, can get us out into the world, and often helps us meet new people and make new friends in the process. Most importantly, a joyful challenge can remind us just how much we are capable of, and grow our self-trust, courage, and sense of adventure for a richer and more fulfilling life.

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Examples of Joyful Challenges

I have pursued two major joyful challenges in the last 5 years (among smaller ones) that required months of effort but that yielded immeasurable joy and feelings of pride and fulfillment from realizing what I was capable of. The first was in deciding to run my first marathon. For those that may not know, marathon training is a 4-month commitment, so even as a lifelong runner I was intimidated by this at first. However, I chose to commit to it because I had recently given birth to my second child, and wanted a physical challenge that would help me build back the running strength and stamina I had before pregnancy, and because I was simply thrilled by the challenge of running 26.2 miles (and yes, we marathoners are a special, maybe crazy breed!)

At the 14-mile mark of the Chicago Marathon!

The second joyful challenge was doing a TEDx talk on the power of our curiosity. Though I was nervous about even submitting the application video, once I was accepted I committed myself to 3 months of preparation for the big day that included a cycle of reflecting, drafting, and editing, and then memorizing and rehearsing. When a hurricane canceled all my flight options to Florida (where the TEDx talk was taking place), my best friend and I decided to drive-from Baltimore to Florida-to get there. Not even a hurricane could stop me!

Standing on the red dot, delivering my TEDx talk!

Both experiences were amazing, and reminded me that I can do anything I set my mind to. And I want that for you as well.

A joyful challenge can be smaller, shorter-term commitments than these two examples-it can be signing up for a yoga class series, trying meditation every day for a month, or something else. Or it can be bigger: entrepreneur Jesse Itzler commits himself to an annual joyful challenge that he calls a Misogi Challenge, a big goal he pursues for the entire year that pushes himself to a new level, whether physical or mental. My current joyful challenge is what you’re reading now-this Substack-and committing myself to posting regularly. Whether you choose something for a set of weeks, a few months, or an entire year, the point is, it’s something you intentionally choose with the goals to challenge yourself, grow, and yes, enjoy it too!

My Dad is a great example of someone who is often pursuing a joyful challenge of his own. He once decided to read the entirety of Ulysses by James Joyce cover to cover-that’s over 700 pages! And he joined a local choir and met with them on a weekly basis for a few months to memorize and perform holiday songs, including in other languages, at a public concert in a tuxedo, no less. And this group of seniors, many of them in their 80’s, are enthusiastically tackling their “bucket list” items that include joyful challenges like skydiving and other thrills. They are proof that we can still do challenges after several knee and hip replacements!

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Tips For Picking and Pursuing a Joyful Challenge

So, how do you pick a joyful challenge for yourself, and how can you make it as meaningful as possible? Here are my tips for you based on my experience thus far:

1. Pick an activity you already enjoy doing but take it up a notch-like I did with running and training for my first marathon-or pick an entirely new thing that you have been intrigued by but perhaps too intimidated to try thus far. The sweet spot is identifying a challenge that both excites and intimidates you a little bit. Also pick something that you can work into your current schedule and life, or that doesn’t require a massive overhaul of your life, like moving somewhere new or another big change (unless that’s what you’re going for!)

2. Find or build a community through this challenge. For example, if your challenge is to try cooking a new dish from Martha Stewart’s cookbooks every week, involve your family or friends by inviting them to help (or to eat it!) or join a local cooking class to have a community of other people right alongside you. As a bonus, you will make new friends or at the very least commiserate together when that flan comes out burnt-again!

   

   Some of the amazing women I met-and community I found-through my TEDx experience

3. Enjoy the process. Let yourself enjoy and celebrate the progress you make at each stage of the challenge-the first day you show up, the halfway point in the middle of January when it’s freezing out and you want to stay in bed, and the final day when you complete the challenge-whatever it is. I was surprised when I realized how much I enjoyed the process of marathon training (again, we’re a slightly crazy breed) because of how strong I felt I was becoming every day, both physically and mentally. It made the actual marathon more of a celebration of the journey to get there and of the person I became along the way-disciplined, committed, and self-trusting. Not every day in your joyful challenge will be joyful, but it will be progress if you keep showing up, and that progress each day will compound into something great. As they say, the journey is the reward.

4. Keep challenging yourself. I hope that after your first joyful challenge, you will enjoy it so much that you will feel excited to do another-perhaps something completely different. For example, if your joyful challenge was a physical one, perhaps your next one could be a mental or spiritual one, or whatever kind you feel drawn to do next. I also recommend enough rest between them-in terms of time and energy-so you feel well-rested and excited to take on a new challenge. You can start small-with a 30-day challenge for something, like meditating for 5-10 minutes a day for 30 days-then you can always pursue bigger challenges if you want.

I know that I feel most alive when I’m intentionally challenging myself in some way, and I can set a goal to work towards and celebrate my progress along the way. I want everyone to feel that sense of satisfaction and fulfillment from a race completed, a course taken, dance shoes danced in, or whatever the particular challenge is.

The question is not whether you can do it; it’s what is it that you want to do?

As we get older and more cautious, we need courage for a lot of things-including to be curious and creative- especially since our brains are programmed for fear.

Why is courage necessary for a curious, creative life? Because following our curiosity and creativity will at times challenge us, confuse and disappoint people, make us stand out, and definitely not guarantee us any defined outcome based on someone else’s path-because we are forging our own. These scenarios all require courage to overcome the fear of failure, being judged or misunderstood, and other fears that will come up for us.

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Examples of When We Can Apply Courage

We can exercise courage in big and small ways to honor our curiosity and creativity. Some lower-stakes ways might be to politely decline some social invites and instead spend that time doing what you love, whether it’s visiting a museum or a leisurely walk in the park, or anything that nurtures your spirit and curiosity and creativity. It could also look like starting a Substack (like many of us here!) or any passion project and not knowing where it will lead, but being open to the process and adventure.

There are times in our lives when we need to exercise our courage in big, higher-stakes ways to affirm or reclaim our curiosity and creativity. This could look like:

• Choosing a different career path than your parents want or expect you to choose

• Leaving an established career to pivot towards something else you feel pulled to do

• Feeling uncertainty and doubt about your path (whether it’s moving to a new place or another big decision) but persisting toward it despite that fear

• Leaving relationships, jobs, or situations that actively stifle your curiosity and creativity; and, conversely,

• Taking the leap into relationships, jobs, or situations that you can sense will nurture your curiosity and creativity

• Listening to your own voice over others in any of these big life decisions

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A man with two choices for a path. Photo by Furkan Elveren

How to Summon Our Courage

So, how do we activate our courage, whether in situations big or small?

1. We can have our own back. That is, we can build trust in ourselves that we have faced challenging situations before and conquered them (or at the very least survived), and can do the same with any situation we’re facing now. A good way to do this is to keep a list of your past challenges and how you navigated them to remind yourself of your ability to be brave and address them.

2. We can surround ourselves with people who honor and nurture our curiosity and creativity. These are people who listen intently when you describe what you love to do and encourage you to do more of it; who support you when you make a big decision to follow your curiosity over the expected path; and who share your values of a life inspired by curiosity and creativity and are actively working to follow them for themselves.

3. We can shift our energy from fear (of failure, judgment, etc.) to excitement and curiosity about what this act of courage could bring: a fulfilling job/career, new good friends, cherished hobbies, an unforgettable experience, a life you don’t need an escape from, and more. And we can channel any remaining fear to think not about risks, but about regret-and aim to avoid this when we’re 80 (or 100, since that will be the new 80!) (Jeff Bezos talks about this useful strategy as minimizing regret, and how he applied it to make the decision to start an “Internet book store” with no idea where it would lead).

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And here’s some advice from fellow readers:

“Courage has brought me everything I have in my life today. I believe courage is something you learn. The first time, you grit your teeth and do it. Then you do it again, and again, until it becomes a habit.”

“Believing that my thoughts, feelings, and intuitive pulls might be part of something bigger than me—and that I have some kind of “mission” to fulfill—has helped me find the courage to actually follow them instead of dismissing them.”

I’ll leave you with words from two famous people who understood that having the courage to stay true to yourself is worth celebrating in its own right.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

“And now, the end is near

And so I face the final curtain

My friend, I’ll say it clear

I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain

I’ve lived a life that’s full

I traveled each and every highway

And more, much more than this

I did it my way”

Frank Sinatra, “My Way”

As I reflected on our wonderful week, I identified some things we did-and just as importantly, didn’t do-while on vacation that are great ways to cultivate our everyday curiosity and creativity, and things I want to intentionally carry with me into this week.

While we can’t replicate in our everyday life all of the things we can do on vacation (like perhaps ignoring work emails for days) we can reflect on who we are when on vacation-more relaxed, perhaps more curious and creative-and seek to bring that version of ourselves more into our everyday lives. I hope these reminders are helpful to you whether you have returned from a vacation, have one coming up, or just want these reminders top of mind for a curious, creative life:

Reminder #1: Read for pleasure.

In a culture that pressures us to be productive, we may prioritize reading things that are directly related to our jobs or careers or that we have to read. Additionally, social media and the latest Netflix bingeworthy shows are competing for our attention more and more. Being on vacation reminds us how fun it is to make time for reading for pleasure and for no other purpose than to enjoy it. For me, this was a fiction novel set in Paris that I am loving-for the witty banter among characters, the descriptive scenery of a beautiful city, and the curiosity of what will happen next. I believe that reading fiction also makes us better writers, as we are absorbing great writing with a defined plot and experiencing different writing styles that can inform and shape our own writing. It’s become my favorite part of my day to pick up the book and read a few chapters. I hope you find a great book this week you can start reading for pleasure-and remember how great it feels.

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Reminder #2: Take the occasional detour

Instead of driving straight to Cape Cod, we took a slight detour to make a pit stop at a special place: a bookstore owned by the author Jeff Kinney, writer of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series and hero to many kids (including my son who is an avid reader of his books). Set in a town called Plainville, Massachusetts (even the town sounds like it’s out of a book!) this bookstore was pure magic: thousands of books for children and adults, creative displays like books dangling from the ceiling, and just the right amount of Wimpy Kid merch without it feeling too aggressive. My kids reveled in the variety of books and trinkets and now this can be a regular stop on our way to the Cape. While we didn’t have a Jeff Kinney sighting that day, my son did buy a signed copy of his new book, which to him felt equally magical. What is a detour you can take this week to follow your own curiosity and stumble upon a bookstore, a vista, or a cool coffeeshop that can surprise and delight you?

An Unlikely Story Bookstore, Plainville, MA

Reminder #3: Don’t keep too strict of a schedule (unless you have a boat to catch)

Yes, real life (versus vacation) is more schedule-driven, but this vacation was still a good reminder to keep our schedules more flexible or open if we can. Each day we only planned one thing-beach or bike ride or a day trip somewhere-and we weren’t rigid about our schedule. This allowed us to take our time in the morning and not stress or rush, and enjoy the moments in each day versus checking our watch to make sure we were on schedule. (The only time we really had to be on schedule was to catch our boat to an island!) This reminder about flexibility is useful for our everyday lives: it turns out that having a more flexible work schedule correlates with creativity as well-(share this research with your boss to gain more flexibility at work!)

Day trip to Martha’s Vineyard

Reminder #4: Play

Our kids were great role models for this during our vacation week, as kids always are when it comes to play. Each day they would play baseball, soccer, or badminton outside; and take out games to play inside including Scrabble and Charades. I have to confess, during non-vacation time, I don’t always have the energy during the week to play with them, but I joined in the fun and realized I felt more energized after getting some physical activity or laughing with them over our silly acting during Charades. I also got really into the arcade game with my daughter of trying to throw a ball and knock down clowns and found myself encouraging my daughter when she said “You’re going down, evil clown!” (How could anyone not get into that, especially when prizes are at stake?) This week helped me revive my inner child who loves to play, be silly, and have fun, and follow the lead of my kids who are the best at it. And play is good for us as adults: research shows it reduces stress, powers creativity and problem-solving, and advances our happiness and well-being. Sounds like a great vitamin we all have access to!

Reminder #5: Invest in your non-work identity

During vacation, I was able to put up an out of office message for my job and relish in my other identities beyond my job-including as Mom, wife, and writer. I was able to spend quality, unhurried time with my family and spent a few blissful solo hours at a cafe for writing time. I was able to invest in these other identities to a degree that I don’t often intentionally do during a typical work week. Even for those of us who enjoy our jobs and work, investing in our non-work identities is crucial to honoring our whole self and to prioritizing our most important roles and relationships over our job titles. The more we can nurture our multiple identities and prioritize the ones most important to us, the more fulfilling our everyday lives will be.

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Reminder #6: Try something new

I’ve been going to Cape Cod almost every summer of my life, and have mainly stuck to one beach within walking distance from where we stay. But, on the compelling recommendation of my aunt, we decided to try a different beach on our final day of vacation. Was it less convenient than walking to our usual beach? Yes. Did it cost money to park and did I forget to pack lunches and hoped my kids would survive on crackers, chips, and adrenaline? Also yes. But we had a great time and it was a beautiful beach with calmer waters and a cool sandbar our kids could walk out to and explore. It was a great reminder that it’s never too late to try a new beach or a new anything, and you may just be rewarded with a great experience like we did.

Reminder #7: Be available for awe

Have you ever seen or experienced something that fills you with strong feelings of wonder and inspiration? That’s awe at work. It could be watching pink and red colors form across the sky during a beautiful sunset, or listening to a symphony, or even witnessing someone do something brave. During my vacation, I experienced awe when I took a solo walk at sunset to the beach and then climbed up a hill to see a beautiful vista of the ocean and the setting sun. Though I have walked this path many times before, each time I stop and look out in awe of the beauty of it all.

Similarly, on our boat ride back from a nearby island, my kids decided to get a front-row view of the water as they stood at the bow of the ship to watch the ship cut through the water, see the horizon get closer, and look for fish in the water (to their disappointment, they didn’t see any sharks). Later, my son said that boat ride was his favorite part of the week-placing it higher than the arcade that day! What helped is that we were available for awe: we were present, paying attention, and out in nature to witness it. Nature is a great place to experience awe, but it can be found in many other places too and with different senses. Try being available for awe this week-whether on a walk outside in nature, listening to a great piece of music, reading or watching a story about someone who was really brave, or another way. And like the other reminders here, awe is also good for us: it helps us practice gratitude, makes us more curious and creative, and leads to greater well-being.

My sunset ocean walk

I’m coming back from this vacation more content, curious, and creative thanks to these reminders, and I hope they help you as well. Maybe we’ll practice them so well that our vacation selves and everyday selves will become more alike than different-and regular everyday life can include more of the joy and peace we feel on vacation.

These larger life transitions, called “liminal spaces” in anthropological terms, occur when we are between two phases: shedding or outgrowing one role or identity and not yet fully in the next one. This can feel uncomfortable, like a psychological version of the kinds of physical “growing pains” you may have had as a child when your body was outgrowing itself in real time. Or, like when a caterpillar is no longer a caterpillar and not yet a butterfly, but is a gooey mess during its chrysalis stage of change.

The chrysalis stage (between caterpillar and butterfly)

One Brain, Two Possible Responses

In her article on liminal spaces, neuroscientist Anne-Laure Le Cunff shares that we have a choice when it comes to how we approach our life transitions: through anxiety or curiosity. Research shows that curiosity and anxiety trigger similar regions of our brain, with two very different results: anxiety looks for threats, while curiosity looks for understanding. Le Cunff encourages us to flip our “anxiety-curiosity switch” from anxiety to curiosity through practices that we can all do. These include reframing our situations from one of fear and anxiety (e.g. “I’m afraid/anxious of what will happen”) to one of curiosity (e.g. “I wonder what will happen next”); and conducting “tiny experiments” (also the title of her new book), which involve short-term commitments to habits or activities to see how we feel after (e.g. one week of running first thing in the morning, one month of weekly lunch dates with a friend, etc.)

If we can manage the discomfort of these transitions and switch our brains from anxiety to curiosity, it turns out there are many cognitive upsides we can realize during these times. As Le Cunff shares, these upsides include heightened attention and learning, increased creativity, and greater uncertainty tolerance, or the ability to navigate uncertainty effectively.

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I can think of transitions in my life where I handled this uncertainty well through more curiosity, and others not as much and where I may have been driven more by anxiety.

In 2023, I made a decision to leave an organization where I had worked for 10 years in order to try something different, including pursuing my own business. Looking back, what made me successful in this transition was both the clarity and excitement I felt for pursuing my passion around curiosity (including coming off of my TEDx talk experience), and the intentionality and planning I put in for this transition so I felt calm and prepared for it, and curious about what opportunities it would bring. This of course did not remove all doubt or anxiety, but it certainly helped.

Similarly, any person who is expecting a child (through natural birth, adoption, or another way) is in a liminal space, as they are literally between two phases: before becoming a parent, and having a child. During my pregnancy for my first child, I felt mostly excitement, peace, and curiosity about what it will feel like to have a child-and only a little anxiety about how my life would change and my ability to care for a small human. (Though I think some of this anxiety was driven by going into baby stores and realizing the sheer number of things we needed to care for a tiny baby-and the overwhelm of choices. Fellow parents, I know you can relate, whether it was taking in the endless stroller options or choosing among 10 different products to “wear” your baby!)

One life transition where uncertainty somewhat scared me was in going from teaching to enrolling in graduate school for public policy. I joined a teaching program with a two-year commitment, and I signed on to teach a third year both because I enjoyed teaching and wanted an extra year to figure out my next steps. Still, I felt some anxiety and pressure to make a change since so many of my friends in the program were announcing their plans for graduate school or another impressive move. Thinking back on this period, I sometimes wonder what other paths I may have taken if I had given myself more time and space to consider other options.

Helpful Principles for Life Transitions

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In reflecting on when I have handled big life transitions well, with more curiosity than anxiety, it involved a set of things I would encourage you to prioritize in your next big life transition (or especially if you’re in one now):

• Agency: Remember that you have agency and that you want to act based on your own desires and not under the influence or pressure of others or “society” writ large. If you have a calling to do something, prioritize that above what you think people’s opinions will be about it. Remember that you are not helpless or stuck, and you have real power to shape your life through your next step.

• Optimism: Choose to believe that your next steps during this transition will go well, and you will already be winning half the battle through a great mindset. You will also be more likely to succeed when you are rooting for yourself versus worrying about what could go wrong.

• Going At Your Own Pace: Life is not a race, so your transitions shouldn’t be either. Is everyone else in your friend or peer group going to graduate school, buying a house, or starting to have children? Don’t compare yourself to them-go at your own pace of what feels right for you, including opting out of something that doesn’t fit with your desires. Take the time you need and be intentional with each step and decision you make.

• Exploration: Choose to see these life transitions as opportunities to explore, not scary things to hide from. Try journaling to explore your feelings and ideas on what you want next; and try talking to people who have been through similar situations to learn about their experiences, or even just to have someone to listen to you. Which leads me to the last recommendation:

• Community: Don’t go through these big transitions alone. Lean on your family and friends who know you well to listen and affirm you, and find others going through the same or similar transition or who want to make the same move as you. You can find community right here in this Substack!

Life is one big transition, and there are times when we go through bigger transitions-or liminal spaces-where we are between two roles or experiences. Try to see these transitions as opportunities to grow and expand through curiosity instead of shrink through anxiety and fear, and watch how your approach will make all the difference for yourself.

I wanted to dedicate my TEDx to curiosity because it is such a powerful quality in all of us, yet our society doesn’t give it the attention it deserves-and therefore we ourselves may not pay much attention to it.

Here are three insights from my talk that will help you understand and harness your innate curiosity, so you can tap back into that childlike wonder and pursue a curiosity-inspired life. (And please watch my TEDx talk when you have a free 13 minutes-I make the occasional joke to keep it entertaining! Also, this is only the first of many posts where we will explore how curiosity can enrich your life-so if you enjoy this, know that there’s more to come!)

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Insight #1: Curiosity Increases Your Well-Being and Makes Your World Bigger

The research is clear on this: curiosity is associated with higher levels of positive emotions and greater psychological well-being. Simply put, it makes us feel good. Think about the last time you were really curious about something or someone: you probably felt a mix of enthusiasm and excitement that led you to learn more. Curiosity is that springboard to explore. And because of this, it makes your world bigger: beyond one perspective, one group of friends, one place, one political party-to seek to understand many perspectives, people, places, and things. Curiosity helps you get out of your comfort zone and into uncharted territory. It is the fuel for your continuous growth as a lifelong learner and explorer.

A quote and picture from my TEDx talk

Insight #2: Your Curiosity May Have Weakened Since Childhood-And It’s Not Your Fault

In my TEDx talk, I describe our adulthood curiosity as resembling a houseplant we bought and forgot to water, but still there, tucked away in the corner of our living room, thirsty for our attention. If this describes your relationship with curiosity, don’t feel bad-it’s not your fault.

As we go from question-asking machines when we are young children into adulthood, we go through a set of experiences that often cause our curiosity to weaken, like a muscle that hasn’t been used in a while. Most of this is unintentional and not always noticeable, but it happens. For many of us, it starts with school, where-despite the amazing efforts of so many wonderful teachers-we lost opportunities to cultivate our curiosity through questions and exploration because teachers were constrained by the bell schedule, managing a class of 25 or more kids, and requirements around what and how to teach. Then it continues into adulthood, where we may feel pressure to follow a safe, reliable career path over what most piques our curiosity. Or we don’t even get or give ourselves the opportunity to explore our career interests before choosing a career we think we should pursue based on others’ expectations. This is compounded by the ability today to create our own reality through the news channels and sites we choose to read and watch, the algorithms in social media tailored to our specific taste, and other ways we unintentionally make our world smaller and our lives more predictable.

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Insight #3: There Are Steps You Can Take to Reignite Your Curiosity and Live an Epic Life

The good news is, the scenario described above does not have to be your reality. Now that you’re more aware, you can take steps to actively strengthen your curiosity muscle, and this can help you live an epic, fulfilling life-however that may look for you. An epic life is a life that you shape through your curiosity and creativity, that inspires continuous growth, and that is uniquely yours.

So, how can you begin to live an epic life, powered by curiosity? I have an acronym for that!

EPIC: Enliven, Pursue, Increase, Cultivate, Continue

Enliven: Reactivate your curiosity through giving yourself space and time to be, wonder, and notice. Reflect on what you were curious about as a kid and what you’re curious about now. Some great practices to enliven your curiosity include journaling, meditation, awe and wonder walks, gratitude (which brings you to the present), and paying attention to what captures your interest.

Pursue: Go explore your curiosity! There are many ways you can do this-going somewhere in-person to see what you’re curious about, reading or watching a video, listening to a podcast, having a conversation with someone, etc. Your exploration can take you across the world or simply across the street to try a new cafe or walking route.

My kids exploring in Portland, Maine last weekend

Increase: Strengthen your curiosity muscle through key practices: ask a lot of questions (some good ones start with “why,” “how,” and “what if”); try active, deep listening; seek out diverse perspectives in who you talk to and what you read, watch, and listen to; and try something new and get outside your comfort zone, whether that is trying a new dance class, talking to a stranger, or something else. For me, I went way outside my comfort zone to give a TEDx talk-and it turned out to be one of the most rewarding experiences in my life. So, I encourage you to get a little uncomfortable and find joy on the other side of it!

Cultivate: Help cultivate curiosity in other people and in turn, strengthen your own curiosity. Invite a friend to a museum, bookstore or show with you, and learn what they’re interested in and offer to accompany them on a trip or experience to explore it. You can also cultivate curiosity in your community-through finding ways to bring people together who don’t normally interact with one another, or through educational or enriching events and activities.

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Continue: Sustain and deepen your curiosity through daily habits and practices, including giving yourself time each day to wonder, journal, or read about what you’re curious about, or to explore your curiosity. Some days this could be as simple as walking on a different route in your neighborhood, while other days it could be bigger things like going to a talk or a show.

I’ll be sharing more strategies and opportunities to cultivate your curiosity (and creativity) through this EPIC approach. In the meantime, summer is a great time to explore and try new things, so go out there and flex your curiosity muscle and see how great it feels to reignite your curiosity! And share with me in the comments: what is one practice or tip from the EPIC approach you will try this week to ignite your curiosity?

So, what is creativity, and is it present only in a subset of New Yorkers who own dogs? (Quick answer to the second question-of course not!)

The Cambridge Dictionary defines creativity as “the ability to produce original and unusual ideas, or to make something new or imaginative.”

And guess what? We are all creative. Yes, that’s right-it’s not just reserved for artists or people whose creativity we see very visibly-it is for and present in all of us. As Elizabeth Gilbert says in her book Big Magic, “If you’re alive, you’re a creative person.”

And the benefits of creativity continue to increase with more research on it, ranging from lowering cortisol levels associated with stress to slowing brain aging for “younger” brains-kind of like Botox for the brain 🙂

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How Creativity Has Shaped My Life

Personally, creativity has enriched my life in so many ways and made it more joyful (and never boring). My earliest memories of being creative were in drawing ballerinas, flying hearts (hearts with wings), and women in evening gowns (I guess I always loved fashion!) In elementary school, my favorite teacher instructed us to write a creative short story, and didn’t give us any other instructions, which allowed me to unleash my creativity to come up with an original story and drawings. This led to a proclamation on my “About the Author” page to “look out for more stories” by me-so this Substack is in part the promise I’m keeping to my 11 year-old self.

As a teacher, I loved using my creativity to design engaging lessons, activities, and projects for my students and to encourage their creativity as well. Whether it was transforming our classroom into a dimly lit cafe for a poetry slam, or combining video, music, and reading to immerse my students in the context of a certain period of time before reading a novel that took place then, I loved tapping into my creativity to make things both challenging and fun for my students. Even in my career in policy, which one may think does not allow for much creativity, I was able to sneak it in, whether it was using metaphors to help Congressional staff understand an education strategy we were advocating for, or it was creating a skit for my colleagues to highlight why policymaking is most effective when directly informed by the people most affected by the issue. Asking the “what if” questions in the context of policymaking can also be powerful, to free ourselves from any limits we may be placing on what is possible in public education or any other realm and to move beyond the status quo.

As a parent, I am using my creativity to learn what my kids are interested in and then to find or create opportunities-preferably free or low-cost-to help them pursue their interests. In turn, I am inspired by their creativity in how they see the world, the questions they ask, the games they make up, and the ideas they share. I see it as an important part of my job as a Mom to foster that creativity and keep asking them, “What do you think?” I also like to use my creativity to plan fun trips (aided now by ChatGPT for efficiency), whether it is a day trip or a week-long adventure. Finally, I am loving this sacred time I give myself to write these articles and express my creativity to connect with and encourage others.

I also know what it feels like to neglect our creativity and the emptiness that can make us feel. For me, this happened during a period of considerable stress and anxiety in one area of my life, and at the time I didn’t feel I had the energy or desire to be creative. I wish I had given myself more grace, and then space to make time for my creativity as an antidote to that stress-even if it was just for a few minutes each day of writing, drawing, or any other creative activity. In fact, I think it is when we are most stressed or anxious that we need our creativity the most. (For more on this, I highly recommend Martha Beck’s book Beyond Anxiety: Curiosity, Creativity, and Finding Your Life’s Purpose).

Being creative makes me feel more alive, and that’s what I want for all of us. Creativity is innate in each of us, and I believe is essential for our well-being. So, how can you tap into your natural spring of creativity?

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How to Cultivate Your Creativity

First, honor all the ways you currently are creative that you’re not seeing or giving yourself credit for. This could include finding a new or smarter way to do something at work, or the way you arrange things in your home in a thoughtful and creative way, or other ways that you may overlook. You already are creative, and you want to honor that.

Second, give yourself the time and space to feed and apply your creativity through hobbies, conversations, and activities you enjoy or are curious about. This could take shape any number of ways, including:

• Planning a trip to a museum, town, or somewhere you are interested in seeing/exploring that will spark inspiration and ideas

• Setting up a comfy space in your home and spending some time creating something-a poem, a drawing, a video, jewelry, a chair-whatever you enjoy creating!

• Trying something new-a new fitness class or cafe, talking to the stranger in front of you in line, or anything that intrigues you and even better, that gets you out of your comfort zone a little bit. These new experiences help us grow and in turn help us evolve our thinking, ideas, and sense of possibility

• Connecting with others to discuss issues and ideas you are interested in. These conversations with friends, family, colleagues, and others can help you foster your creativity by sharing your ideas and hearing theirs

Third, make it about the process, not the outcome. Your creativity is something to enjoy, not to measure or evaluate. So much in our lives is already about the outcomes-metrics related to our jobs, fitness levels, finances, etc. Let your creativity be free from these metrics and instead grounded in your level of enjoyment in creating something-a new idea, a new or better process, a new piece of art, an experience, etc. The more free you feel to be creative, the more you can create, which can lead to some great outcomes in your life. But if you just love metrics and still want to use one, measure your creativity by how free it makes you feel. That will be your best measurement.

Finally, stay connected to your creativity every day. Try to incorporate it into your everyday life-some days this may be in big ways as you have more time and energy, and other days this may be in smaller ways. All ways are good. This could mean journaling for 10 minutes on the train during your commute, or in the evening before bed. It could mean reading a novel or an article that sparks your interest in something to learn more about it. It could mean a phone call with a friend about a challenge at work or a big career decision and testing out possible paths in real time with them.

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Our creativity is sacred, not only because it is innate and has real, research-backed benefits, but also because we are all different, and therefore our creativity is different. Because of this, there are things and ideas that only you can create-grounded in your experience, your gifts, and your imagination-and it would be a disservice to yourself and to all of us if you didn’t share those with the world. So, I invite you to start with just 10 minutes today for your creativity, and to continue to incorporate it into your daily life, no matter how big or small. The community we will build here will be a place of support and encouragement for you.

To end with another great quote from Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic:

“A creative life is an amplified life. It’s a bigger life, a happier life, an expanded life, and a hell of a lot more interesting life.”

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Twenty one years ago, I arrived in Long Beach, CA, determined to make something meaningful out of my newly minted English degree from Boston University. I joined the Teach for America program, an intensive two-year teaching program that sought to help close the education inequity gap in our country by placing energetic, mission-driven college graduates in high-poverty, low-performing schools. My placement for the fall was Oakland, CA and I and hundreds of other corps members came to Long Beach to teach summer school and learn how to be a teacher.

Little did I know at the time that this journey-and all those after it-would make me more of the learner than the teacher, and inspire a life of constant growth, curiosity, and creativity. And that will be the focus of my Substack, and what I hope to share with you-how this approach to life of continuous learning and growth, powered by curiosity and creativity, can shape a life that is uniquely yours, and ultimately be fulfilling and fun.

But back to my 22 year-old self in Long Beach, CA: By the end of the first week of teaching, I was learning how much more goes into good teaching than knowing the content and a well-constructed lesson plan. I learned that connecting to students is paramount, and that you must be prepared for anything, including one of your students giving you the nickname of “Freckles”-I’m not sure if that was intended as mocking or endearing, but I used it as an opportunity to connect with him regardless. And I was elated when my mentor teacher, a woman who had lived and taught in the community for decades, declared about my teaching ability: “Mary, you’ve got the sauce” (the “sauce” meaning the “it” factor to be a good teacher-maybe it was simply the humility to know what I don’t know). I am indebted to her, my students that summer, and my peers who were on this teaching journey with me for a memorable and exhausting summer in Long Beach in 2005.

With my TFA Institute peers in California, summer of 2005

Recently, I returned to Long Beach for a work conference. Twenty one years later, here are a few things I’ve learned that I’m excited to unpack with you through this Substack:

• How our curiosity and creativity are our natural superpowers that can make our lives more fulfilling and fun and lead us to meaningful paths and experiences we couldn’t expect or plan.

  • My curiosity and creativity have led me to take an improv class at 6 months pregnant with people 10 years my junior that I loved; research everything I could on the topic of curiosity and deliver a TEDx talk on this topic; design engaging learning experiences for both children and adults; learn about my family history and visit the places in Ireland where my family lived; and be curious and creative with my kids and nurture these qualities in them

• How continuous learning and growth is, I believe, a human need, and how to nurture this in your life in ways big and small while balancing this with rest and just “being”

  • A commitment to continuous learning and growth has made me a serial fellowship participant, enrolling in several fellowships to strengthen my knowledge and leadership skills; to sign up for and complete a marathon in 2021 as a lifelong runner who had never run this distance before; and to pursue various opportunities over the years, from big commitments like joining my local school board to smaller ones like attending college alumni events. I have also learned the importance of rest and simply “being” to restore the energy required for growth; and how both are necessary for us.

• Why listening to your own internal compass grounded in your curiosity-what sparks your interest-is paramount in a society that pressures us to take safe and predictable paths; and the joy that can be found in forging your own unique path

  • Following my internal compass of my evolving interests has led me to diverse opportunities and experiences in my career and beyond that would not be possible if I only stayed on the same narrow career path. Can career change (and any big change) be uncomfortable? Absolutely. Is the discomfort worth it to know you are following what most captures your interest? Always.

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• The importance of community in pursuing a curious, creative life on your own terms-and how this has motivated me to start this community here on Substack for each of us to belong, connect, and support one another in this journey

  • I have found amazing communities through various experiences-as a parent who has met other families at our kids’ bus stop and now are friends, through my college track team, with my fellow TEDx speakers, and other places. My goal here is to create an online community of support and encouragement that is for anyone who wants to tap into their curiosity and creativity to grow and shape a life that is uniquely theirs.

What is so exciting to me about this focus on growth, curiosity, and creativity is the increasing body of science and research to demonstrate the value of this approach to life-from research across psychology, neuroscience, behavioral science, and more. I hope to share this science with you in an accessible way, coupled with stories and strategies on why and how to pursue a curious, creative life of learning and growth. I am excited to bring in the voices of others (including perhaps you reading this!) living curious, creative lives-via guest blog posts and perhaps even podcast or video interviews-to share about their journeys, their approach, and their advice for all of us on how to live this way. I am also curious about what you as a reader would be interested in-whether that is live conversations, workshops, resources, or other ways I can support you to pursue a curious, creative life. For now, though, thank you for reading, and for embarking on this journey with me; I’m excited to see where it takes us. I’ll leave you with perhaps my favorite excerpt of poetry that reflects the spirit of what I hope to share on Substack, toward a life of constant growth, discovery, and rediscovery.

“We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.”

—T.S. Eliot, from “Little Gidding,” Four Quartets