It’s about six AM on a Monday morning, and I’m in the Lifetime Fitness parking lot.

I look around. Ten cars, maybe twelve.

And I smile to myself in a smug, douchebaggy way, because hardly anyone is doing what we’re doing. Hardly anyone is getting up early to work out. Which means more machines for me. More free weights. Less time getting annoyed at assclowns with 4 sets of weights (8 in total), people who don’t know basic polite gym decorum.

Saturday, eight AM. I’m in Kroger, and I’m smiling again, because there are hardly any lines and hardly anybody in the building. Most people aren’t willing to wake up early to go grocery shopping on a weekend, no shitty drivers going 67 in a 40, and no one driving under the speed limit ‘cause they’re on their phone.

The best thing about being you, or anyone else, is doing what other people aren’t willing to do.

People are lazy bastards, and most of them ain’t willing to do anything more than the bare minimum.

I love it. I want it. I get off on it.

Because when you’re willing to do what most people won’t, you find yourself becoming the most successful man in the room. More happiness. More growth and more unique experiences reserved for the men who want to go the extra mile, who want to add a bit of panache to their tash. Your brain adapts fast, because it has a natural propensity for growing when you push it into territory nobody else enters.

The exact altitude that suffocates a common man provides the primary oxygen required to fuel a titan who’s ready to bite something and rip its fucking head off.

Most people are mediocre.

Most people are basic.

Wendy Wood’s work at USC found that roughly 43% of what a person does in a day is performed habitually, same cue, same context, no real decision made. That’s how brains conserve energy.

Which is exactly why the opening is so wide. You’re not competing against people’s defaults rather than people’s best effort.

Most people are not willing to do what other people aren’t willing to do. They don’t want to think too hard.

And by doing something small, something insignificant, something not remotely sexy, just a little bit different, you’ll look up one day and realize you’re miles ahead of everyone.

Men die in their twenties and simply wait fifty years for the burial because the comfort of the automated loop is physically indistinguishable from a coffin.

Is that how you wanna go out, man?

Victory rarely requires you to outhunt an emotionless savage pack; it simply demands you stay awake while the competition willingly chloroforms itself.

I swear to god it’s that simple.

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The hottest girl in the room

Most men will not approach the most attractive woman at the bar, the wedding, the party, whatever social function you’re standing in.

No man has the balls to walk up to her while she’s surrounded by her equally attractive friends and risk embarrassing himself with a great opener, a basic line, or a corny joke or something they’ve pulled right out of their butt cheeks. They’re not willing to be themselves in front of an audience and face a very real and very public mental castration. Sure, they’ll make all the excuses for why they can’t do it or why they don’t like doing it.

Let them.

Men who obsessively guard their fragile ego from a public scratch guarantee a lifetime of quiet, internal hemorrhage.

Be different. Let those grapefruits drag on the floor.

Ignore people who like to hate and judge; you know the saying.

You’ll never meet a hater doing better than you.

People get annoyed and frustrated when you do things uniquely because they’re frustrated with themselves that they don’t have the balls to do it themselves.

Just by doing that, you’re already different from ninety-nine percent of the population.

The kiss

Most men wait until the very end of the date to go for the first kiss.

Sometimes I do it in the middle of the day. Sometimes when we’re walking to the car. I’ll ask for a kiss whenever it feels right, rather than following the script every other man is following.

I do things differently, because most men aren’t willing to.

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You don’t have to rewrite the rulebook

I’m not telling you to do anything esoteric or radically unique.

I’m telling you to start doing things slightly differently than everyone else. Start doing what men wouldn’t usually do.

If you focus on that — just that — your life will grow. It will expand.

You will find success.

Take a few minutes and actually think. Consider what everyone else does. The social dynamics. What’s tolerated and what isn’t. What’s pacified. What’s just a societal construct nobody’s questioned.

How can you ever construct an absolute empire by explicitly following the safety instructions written by a slave?

Go a little bit different. Not to be contrarian. Not to be strange for the sake of it. Just a little bit different from what every other man does.

A paper maze only permanently traps the animal who actively respects the ink.

Everyone else is zombified. Nobody cares to be different, because society doesn’t demand it of them.

Do things just a bit differently, and watch your life compound into the success and happiness it was always meant to be.

“pension” in the growth line since that’s your voice, though the standard word there is penchant; say the word if you’d rather I swap it.

Ben: I just don’t know how I feel about premarital sex, just yet. (Ben muttered, staring into his drink.)

The three of us nursed sweating booze against a sticky wooden bar while the Saturday sun lowered itself through the glass, slow and tired and gold.

Jack blinked. I choked on my whiskey sour.

Me: “For starters,” I said, setting the glass down with a dull thud, “if you’re gonna date, don’t call it ‘premarital sex.’ Cor Blimey! You sound like a fucking retired youth pastor.”

Ben: (flushed) “Okay, well, how do I even meet a woman these days?”

Jack leaned back, exhaled like a guru, and said with the spiritual wisdom of a cartoon fortune cookie…

Jack: “Just be confident, man. That’s all it takes, just go up to her and say what’s up.”

I rolled my eyes.

You already know how I feel about this overused, oversimplified, and intellectually lazy discourse of “just be confident”.

“Just be confident” is the verbal equivalent of telling a drowning man to “just swim.”

It sounds useful until you realize the person saying it is standing safely on shore, fully dry, and hasn’t swum in years. But the man who’s drowning can taste the salt water, barely keep his head above water, and feels like he’s about to die.

Ben needed scaffolding. He needed men around him who didn’t speak in drawn-out and overused clichés, but in raw, unfiltered clarity.

Real frameworks. Real brotherhood. Not a stale and overused decades-old slogan.

I couldn’t give Ben real advice that night 'cause I realized, at that very moment, he had the grit of a slick soap bubble in a hurricane.

What he really needs is courage, conviction, and challenging, brutal experience; any man with scars is harder to kill than a man with pussy-ass internet theories.

In 6 years, I approached close to 6912 women. Took 12 rejections in one day, and still walked away with success most men will never see in their fucking life.

Why?

• Not cause of my looks.

• Or my money.

• Or body.

But because I played to win. Most guys play not to lose.

How did I do it? That sounds made up, right? As if any man could ever…

Let me give you the math, you smug little bastard ;)

Every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, my buddies and I would go out, and I’d approach around 10 women that night. But for argument's sake, I brought it down to 8, cause I know there were some nights it wasn’t 10.

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Step-by-Step Calculation

8 women/night × 3 nights/week = 24 women/week

24 women/week × 52 weeks/year = 1,248 women/year

1,248 women/year × 6 years = 7,488 women approached

I approached approximately 7,488 women in 6 years.

But that doesn’t include me being away for Christmas, Thanksgiving, vacations, business trips, the time I was actually dating someone exclusively, and not going out as much, so let’s bring it down to 6000.

• That’s nearly 6K face-to-face interactions with women, most of them cold, more social data than most men gather in a lifetime.

• It’s the equivalent of a full football stadium of women I’ve spoken to.

• Even if 90% of them didn’t go anywhere, that still leaves hundreds of valuable reps and dozens of fun, real connections, dates, lessons, and stories.

• To every eight women I’d approach, I’d get 4-5 numbers from years 2-6.

• From every 4-5 numbers, I’d end up meeting or dating 2 of them.

• 4.5 numbers per 8 approaches → 56.25% number success rate

• 2 dates per 4.5 numbers → ~44.4% meet/date rate from numbers

• Resulting in 1,500+ women you’ve dated or met face-to-face

I also know some of you dorks would take the time to crunch some numbers, so I did it for you.

So am I being a braggadocious douchebag?

Kinda?

It’s a bit of both. I’m humble bragging cause I earned my stripes bitch, so I don’t want to hear some pussy-ass, basement-dwelling cretin flapping that fat hole in his face about things he simply doesn’t have the guts to try and experience, even if he wanted to.

But also, I want to share my best lessons and wake men up to the fact that it’s hard, fun, brutal, and gives you more chest hair than a $900 hustle-bro course recorded on his iPhone 13 in a parked 2012 Toyota Corolla.

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1 | Rejection is Data, Not Defeat

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You’ve heard all this before, right? And yet you still don’t have the courage to get rejected enough. I know you don’t cause I know people like the back of my arse.

Rejection is just feedback. Just like a sales call that doesn’t land, approaching a new woman is an experiment in vibe, timing, and delivery. All you have to do is take mental or physical notes.

Psychological research on loss aversion shows that men are more likely to avoid potential failure than pursue meaningful success. By you jumping into rejection alone means you’re miles above anyone else.

You’re not afraid of rejection. You’re afraid of what you think it says about you. That’s normal, but ridding yourself of that mentality will give you some extra reps that most men can’t reach.

The irony of insecure men is that they crave admiration but crumble the second admiration has a choice. Rejection only stings when you mistake a stranger’s approval for your own self-worth.

She knows nothing about you.

She didn’t like the way you said it, how you looked, maybe? Or her dog just died. I mean, none of this matters anyway. It is what it is; move on. One woman's trash is another's treasure. Either way, who cares? The world is ending eventually. One woman’s “no thanks” is another’s “I’ll take two.”

Write it down. Adjust. Go again. That’s how growth happens. Iterate and ideate like you’re a product manager and keep getting better.

Dating is not and has never been a meritocracy. It isn’t a reward system; it’s a voluntary connection. You have it or you don’t. If she finds someone, she clicks with more; that’s just how dating works.

But that’s the beauty of the game, the passion of the chase. Attraction doesn’t hand out medals, it flips coins in the dark.

If one rejection changes your whole mood, you’re too emotionally invested too soon, you’re a sucker, and you need to let your nuts drag a little. You get “oneitus” before you’ve even taken her out or something.

How did you speak to her? What was your tone? Her/your body language? Where are they buying temperature signs from her? Was there a cock blocker? Did you talk too fast?

There are so many variables.

You need to get rejected enough till you know these variables and can adapt to them like the back of your hand.

The man who learns from rejection writes his own odds. Carved in stone, only he can lift.

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2 | Confidence Comes AFTER Courage

Confidence is earned sweat, doing things the common man simply can’t do until they’ve failed to succeed. That girl at Whole Foods you were too scared to approach? She was the rep you skipped. That woman at the park? Huge opportunity.

And guess what? You did it last week. And the week before that. So many women, so many missed opportunities, so many brilliant experiences you might have had.

Behavioral reinforcement theory says every time you avoid action, you reinforce the belief, “I don’t have what it takes.

C’MON MAN!? You’re so much better than that. The life you want begins where the excuses you trust end indefinitely.

Every time you fail to act is a moment that cements that horrible, faulty belief system that you’re not good enough. This only serves to harm you, building an iron cage of resilience.

It’s about shifting perspectives, dropping insecurities, and embracing your true self. You have to be able to differentiate between confidence and competence.

Once you master that, you’ll soon learn that a man who knows his limits but moves anyway is more dangerous than one who imagines himself limitless.

Competence is about skill, while confidence is about belief, regardless of skill level. Like the two wings of a bird, competence and confidence must balance; one without the other, and the flight to self-realization never really takes off.

This only comes with literally throwing yourself out there and meeting women.

Through lots of rejection, man-hours, listening, and being humble enough to know that “you don’t shit about shit”. When the chips are down, humility is the sharpened edge of a man who's done the work and kept his mouth shut.

PAY UP. I KNOW YOU’VE BEEN READING MY STUFF FOR A WHILE NOW. ;)

JOIN US, AND TOGETHER WE CAN RULE THE GALAXY!

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Daejon Labrayae Love. You lying motherfucker.

I know you’re lying….

Cause ain’t no fucking wayyyyy….

I know women didn’t fall for this fumbling, mumbling moron.

C’MON MAN!!??

This clown really scammed women out of 1.5 million dollars!? WHAT!?

This is why I’m convinced these women deserved to get scammed out of every cent they had cause how can you not see these guys as lying pieces of shit?

Anyone with half a brain can look at that man and say, why is he taking his helmet everywhere?

Four days after meeting a man, you give him $11,000 because you thought, oh, this is finally my meal ticket. Finally I’m gonna get taken care of. I just have to invest a little bit. I just have to pay a little money, then the money is going to make money, and then I’m gonna associate myself with this man, pop out a couple of his big-headed babies, and I’m set. The brands gon’ be reaching out to me. TMZ gon’ be looking out for me. I’m gonna get a following on social media. I can do the “get-ready with me, the day in the life” and all this shit.

That’s what all of this shit is.

I went through the federal complaint, the FBI affidavit, current reporting, the viral clips, the civil-case history, and the newest victim accounts.

The story is considerably so much crazier than “guy pretended to play for the 49ers.”

As of September 1, 2026, prosecutors allege Love, 35, built multiple fake wealthy identities, dated women he met primarily on apps, and used real luxury props plus fake digital evidence to establish credibility (even though one of them clearly had a fucking Gemini sign on the bottom right-hand corner)

Federal investigators say 26 victims have been identified, roughly $1.3 million flowed to Love, and they believe there are more victims.

Some of the claims were hilariously flimsy.

Anyone who wasn’t blinded by the money would’ve caught the nonsense immediately. He said his family owned three Gucci stores: Dallas, Miami, and one in Manhattan “on Saks Fifth Avenue.” Saks Fifth Avenue is a department store. Fifth Avenue is the street. That alone should’ve made somebody stop and say, “Wait, what the hell are you talking about?” But they weren’t listening for inconsistencies.

They were listening for the sound of a jackpot.

Women could only see with their vapid characteeless eyes. His operation also involved exotic cars that actually existed in front of them, expensive hotels, jewelry, staged calls with a second person posing as a professional adviser, fabricated bank balances, fake trading screens, fake paystubs, fake NFL material, and even Google/AI search results that sometimes incorrectly identified Love as a 49ers player.

But if they had taken off their materialistic blinders for 1 minute, they’d understand: why is he telling me all this? Why is he showing me any of this information? Why the fuck is this man talking in circles?

Several women did smell bullshit and walked.

The fascinating question is why the ridiculous parts survived?

I’m trying to be respectful here, but how the fuck do you fall for this like this!?

What NFL player walks around with his helmet!? Or t-shirts that have their team emblazoned on their jersey unless they're going straight to practice?

This guy has to be one of the dumbest motherfuckers on planet earth cause not only did he film and post video notes to all his victims, incriminating himself, but he also sent audio snippets of himself begging for money.

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The story from the beginning

Sacramento County court records show two earlier small-claims cases. In 2020, Olivia Datu alleged Love failed to repay $4,900 she had loaned him.

STOP.

Ya see, that’s right? If someone claimed to be an NFL player from a rich real estate family that has majority ownership of Saks on 5th Avenue and multiple million-dollar homes. Why the fuck would this man ask for $4900 dollars!?

DESERVED TO BE SCAMMED.

The moment you’re dating someone, and they ask for money, you run. Regardless of what the fuck they do.

In 2021, Makayla Fama sued for $10,000, saying he claimed he’d lost his wallet and couldn’t access his cash. She initially sued him as Jonathan Love, then said she learned his real first name was Daejon. A court reportedly ordered Love to pay $7,461 individually and another $2,539 jointly with another man.

So he’s been doing this shit for 5 years!?

The federal case says the charged conspiracy dates to at least February 2022.

Love allegedly met women on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and Facebook Dating and used whichever version of himself best fit the target. Again, you birds really believed a famous NFL player would be on Facebook Dating!? The garbage can of dating apps.

C’MON MAN.

Sometimes he was an NFL wide receiver for the San Francisco 49ers. Sometimes he was a rich Swiss real-estate developer.

His aliases included Jon Love, Daejon Love, Avril Lyto Love and Jordan Love; one victim also knew him as Brii’Jon.

The romance was integral to the pitch.

According to the FBI, he told women he wanted to settle down, start families and “build wealth” together. That made questions about salary, savings, debts and credit scores sound like conversations about a shared future rather than reconnaissance on available assets.

I mean, look, not for nothing, this is like flies to shit for vapid women obsessed with status and money.

How did he fake wealth?

Love allegedly surrounded the lie with physical evidence…

Exotic cars, designer clothes, jewelry, 49ers clothing, helmets, expensive hotels, and what appeared to be luxury residences. He posted real NFL footage and football content around his own persona.

Again, no NFL player would do this.

Investigators say some victims Googled him and, because the web had ingested his fabricated material, Google and AI search results occasionally presented him as an actual 49ers player. The FBI tested this itself in January 2026 and saw misleading results.

If only they had looked at the 49ers website, the team roster, or any actual footage of the guy playing. Or say, call me live when you’re at practice or anything that required real-time evidence before forking out thousands of dollars.

A man whose evidence was apparently an AI search result created partly from his own bullshit.

The money screens were fake too. Love used an app called Fake Bank Account Pro to manufacture balances. In one example, he showed a victim an account supposedly worth more than $30 million.

“Fake Bank Account Pro.” What the fuck!? Why is there even an app for that!? Our society becomes less real every day as there is an increase in lying about things you don’t and most likely will never have.

For investments, Love used Pocket Option’s demo mode, which lets users trade fictitious money. Screenshots were altered with victims’ names and email addresses so they appeared to show their personal investments appreciating. Smartish, but imagine if the effort he put into this nasty, elaborate lie was put into actually being rich; where would he be now?

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The “expedited account”

Again.

IKYFL.

This is diabolically stupid. And preposterous that a woman watched this and thought, “yeah this guy seems legit”.

Love said these opportunities almost never appeared and could double or triple someone’s money in roughly seven to ten days. If a woman lacked cash, he sometimes helped her obtain a personal loan and assured her the investment would pay off before the first loan payment came due.

Oh brother.

Any investment that could reliably double or triple your money in 7–10 days is mathematically absurd annual returns, immediate financial bullshit detector. Even if you’re not financially savvy, you could google that claim in under 2 minutes and realize he’s full of shit.

That is classic fraud architecture…

One victim allegedly took out $17,200 in loans.

Another invested $10,000 and then borrowed another $31,000 for the “expedited” opportunity.

A.T.’s story is particularly wild…

Prosecutors calculate that she ultimately lost $87,500, including money associated with leasing a $250,000 McLaren using fabricated income documentation.

When women stopped investing or started asking too many questions, Love commonly blocked them and kept the money.

What a conniving little shit.

Love said that he’s an experienced manipulator and discussed his ability to take victims’ money because the women voluntarily handed it over.

As I said, if you’re that gullible, it’s a lesson you gotta apparently learn.

I mean c’mon man. This dude faked a signing of a contract in his shitty apartment, with no lawyers or anyone present, and didn’t even really write anything down.

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So how did people believe this?

There were astonishing red flags.

A supposed NFL receiver had no official roster page. No legitimate game film. No college highlights. He talked nonsense about waivers. He claimed a “private contract.” He promised investments doubling or tripling within days. He supposedly had tens of millions but still needed girlfriends’ money, loans, cars, or credit.

C’MON MAAAANNNNNN!

One woman, Ayana Velasquez, demonstrates how little investigation was actually required in some cases. She says Love sent her NFL footage; she saved it and checked its metadata, discovered it had been screen-recorded, and blocked him.

See how easy that shit is!?

Another woman simply checked the 49ers roster. Another potential victim asked enough investment questions that she realized something was wrong and contacted the FBI.

But a specific type of woman fell for this shit.

He didn’t pose as a pastor, a school teacher, or a 9-5 guy for a reason. He knew women of good character weren’t gonna go for that. Women are such gluttons for professional athletes that a dude who put on some Walmart jewelry, rented some supercars on another woman’s dime, scammed them cause in their mind…

The Lamborghini says he’s rich.

The McLaren says he’s rich.

The hotel says he’s rich.

The jewelry says he’s rich.

The supposed bodyguard says he’s important.

Instagram says he’s an athlete.

It worked so well for him cause he tapped right into the mentality of these money-hungry hoes.

The con therefore seems to have exploited several powerful biases simultaneously: authority, social proof, halo effects from status, future-faking, scarcity, sunk cost, reciprocity, and fear of missing a once-in-a-lifetime partner/opportunity.

There’s also an ego component I think is going to become central to the cultural conversation around this case. Being told…

“You’re going to be an NFL wife.”

“You’re genetically superior.”

“I’m worth $30 million, and I chose you.”

Millions of women CRAVE that status validation. These women were scammed cause they wanted so badly to be invited into a higher social class. Their priorities were all messed up.

The women did not find him appealing; they wanted to be a WAG. They were giving this man money because they were investing. They were hoping their return on investment was them getting to sit on the sidelines, getting to wear this man’s jersey number, to get the lifestyle of the cars and the shopping and the vacations, you know, pop out a couple of kids, turn into a Mahomes and things like that.

That’s what this is all about.

Another apartment left in the early hours of the morning.

3:32 a.m. on a Sunday morning.

The city still smelled like nightclub breath, and the sky hadn’t decided if it was still night or already morning. I smelled like sex with a whiff of potent degeneracy.

We’d just wrapped up another one of our low-effort, post-party hookups. My fallback girl. The routine was pathetic in its predictability…

I’d hit the bars with the boys. If I struck out, then I would text her to see which overpriced dive she was polluting that night. She’d act surprised. I’d say I missed her. Then we’d stumble back to her place and fumble into sex like anyone would at that time of the morning.

I definitely didn’t “rock her world”. She wasn’t tryna rock mine either. It was simply an unspoken mutual agreement to feel nothing, together.

But this time, something sat differently in my chest. After we shagged I left quicker than I usually do. No small talk, no YouTube videos to watch together.

I called an Uber and stepped outside without even zipping my jacket. Not because it was warm, but because I didn’t want to be around her anymore.

Cause I didn’t really want to be around myself.

I stood under the streetlight, alone, half-shadowed, eager to hop into the Uber waiting to get the fuck outta there!

And then I saw it, a lone fox, lean and orange and graceful, slipping across the empty street like it knew something I didn’t. It paused for a second near the curb, looked around like it was checking for a sign… then vanished into the brush behind the condos.

And something about that fox hit me harder than the sex ever did.

That’s how I knew it was time…

• Time to stop returning to what’s familiar just because it’s easy and felt good in the moment.

• Time to leave the places that only call you when you’re lonely.

• Time to shed the habits that made me feel wanted but never accomplished.

I reached what I thought was the ultimate masculine summit.

A rotation of women, peak body fat percentage, a nice car, an executive job, home ownership, a good group of friends, my dog, and a healthy extra-curricular life.

This is it, right? This is what every man in the world wants, surely?

I realized that I was complacent and I needed to change. I was focusing on the wrong things. I had so much, yet I felt like I had so little. A full mind with an empty heart.

I couldn’t shake that feeling of confusion. I had everything that was supposed to matter.

But none of it felt like it was truly mine.

Comfort became a velvet-cushioned cage. And I finally understood that my progress had no real purpose. Just motions of things happening in a vacuous lens.

The Uber pulled up.
I didn’t look back.

Some goodbyes are felt before they’re ever spoken, deep and clean, like a pulled thorn you didn’t know was still inside you.

I was failing because of bad decisions I refused to confront. Because of an addiction to the chase trapped in a long lustful coma I had to wake out of. It’s easy to mistake motion for meaning when you're addicted to momentum. You’re doing so much, and the chase feels productive, but it’s often just noise.

I was just stuck in the wrong place, chasing the wrong things, at the wrong time, using the wrong schedule.

Every inch of your future is being shaped by those five that we’ll get into.

This isn’t another “motivation porn” checklist. But rather a very real surgical breakdown of the five most uncomfortable but high-leverage decisions every man MUST make if he wants a life worth waking up for, if you want to die to live and not live to die.

The man you want to become is buried under everything you’re too afraid to confront.

By the end of this article, you’ll be on the road to something different.

Let’s fucking go!

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#1 | Move Away - Your Environment is Your Algorithm

“You don’t rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
— James Clear

Where you live is where your habits are fertilized or destroyed.

Your gym, your dating pool, your social circle, your ambition- it’s all shaped by what surrounds you.

The comfort zone is never static; it’s either shrinking or expanding. Ever since I moved to the US from the UK a decade ago, I've moved to a different state every couple of years, and it’s done wonders for my growth and development. (UT, CA, IL, DC, CO, ATL, and NYC.)

Environmental priming is real.

Studies from Stanford and MIT show that proximity to opportunities shapes not only behavior but long-term motivation. Live near high performers? You act like one. Live near bars and dead-end jobs? You guess the rest.

Bruce Sacerdote noticed something useful about Dartmouth. The college assigns freshman roommates at random: no preferences, no matching; you get who you get.

The results were not subtle.

Get randomly handed a roommate with a higher GPA and your own grades climb with his. Get handed a dorm that joins things, and you join things.

Sacerdote tested whether the effect came from the roommate’s credentials his SAT scores, his high-school record, his stated intentions— and found that wasn’t where the power was.

The effect came from his behavior after he arrived.

They just watched another man get up, work, and go, and their own baseline quietly relocated to meet his.

That’s what you’re doing to yourself right now with your current five friends. You’re absorbing their behavior at whatever rate proximity allows, and you didn’t consent to it, and you can’t opt out by having good intentions about it.

The only variable you control is who gets to be in the room

You gotta move outta that hometown and move to a spot BY YOURSELF. You can always return, but it’s that experience, that mental brain power you gotta use to survive and thrive in a new area that puts head and toes above other “townies”.

I made solid friends in every state, so, to be honest, it made it very, very hard to move. But I was born and raised in London, so I’ve been used to transient scenarios with lots of people I grew up with.

If you’re a driven man in a stagnant town, you’re swimming against cold concrete, man. A hungry man in a dead-end town can only sharpen himself so long before the environment starts dulling the blade. Growth needs friction, new rooms, bigger people, harder games.

✅ Ask yourself a serious question right now.

• Does this city reward my ambition?

• Can I meet high-quality people/women here?

• Is my cost of living buying me access or isolation?

  • E.g., I used to live in NYC when I hit 30; I could finally afford it.

Your zip code is either a launchpad or a life sentence.

Choose wisely.

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#2 | Choose Your Girl Like Your Future Depends on It (Because It Does)

“A bad relationship will cost you more than a failed business.”
— Naval Ravikant

Common men among us date reactively. Letting attraction, loneliness, attention, and convenience make decisions your standards should have made first.

If you take out the romance and think pragmatically a little, you’ll make better choices. This allows you to understand chemistry from compatibility, so you don’t end up building a future with someone who’s a bit of an idiot.

Never lose sight of life, what it’s all about, and what the long-term goal is. Your purpose, everything you’re doing. What is it building towards?

Men don’t lose their way overnight; it’s compounded interest over time of them handing it over, one compromise at a time, slowly dying inside. Stand firm on what you want if you know what works for you. But this only comes to stark fruition if you have a good sense of “self”.

WHO ARE YOU!?

According to evolutionary psychology, women assess long-term mate value through a mix of status, looks, health, and behavioral traits.

Meaning men aren’t entitled to attraction; you have to become internally and externally worthy of it. This is an incredibly long and worthy journey, and trust me, you’ll know when you’ve reached your peak.

By how women treat you, people treat you, and the opportunities that come your way.

You can’t pay in IOUs for modern dating; you’ve got to have real value in the bank. I’ve learned that every fucking day counts! The man you are today is the price of admission for the woman you want tomorrow.

The point is not to disappear for five years, become “complete,” then re-enter dating like a finished product. You improve and pursue at the same time because no serious man is ever actually finished.

🚀 Fix the basics

• Lift weights.

  • Muscle is a signal of discipline. I can’t stand dudes who make excuses for this. Shut the fuck up and join a god damn gym. If you can’t afford it, get your ass out of the house and walk. Walk longer every week. Do something!

• Skincare and grooming. Clean = competent. Nuff said.

• Style.

  • You’re not invisible. Dress like you matter, always. Pinterest, GQ, vision boards, TikTok. It’s all out there. Don’t be lazy; take the time to look this shit up.

• Status.

  • Build something, anything. If you build nothing, you become nothing. Status is constructed by you, not given to you by anyone. Without creating value in the world, you’ll be invisible in it. This is doubly important as a man, as it’s expected of you. It doesn’t have to be the next billion-dollar tech unicorn, but you gotta have something. But please, not another drop shipping company or podcast. They’re everywhere and annoying.

• Read, read, and read some more.

  • Communication skills are one of the best things you can actively master. It changes everything. Words are the best weapons you’ll ever have. But you must learn to wield them, or be disarmed in every room you enter. Mastery of language is power in all arenas.

One day, you’ll wish you had started sooner, so start building before you need it.

Once you become a man with options, choosing the right woman becomes easier, because you’re no longer choosing from fear; you’re choosing from abundance. You have to earn the right to become a man. To become THE man.

Men will always be judged by their performance; if you ain’t doing shit. You ain’t shit.

“Mav you’re an asshole! That’s not true”.

Okay, then do the BARE minimum as a man, see where that gets you.

Set your standard now, or spend the next decade explaining why you settled.

Subscribe, cheapskate.

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The deeper I got into this story, the more annoyed and frustrated I became by the complete lack of self-respect this “alleged man” had.

Oh, it’s bad. Very bad!

The longer I typed this up, every keystroke felt like a middle finger to the madness I was trying to explain.

What the fuck is happening to men these days? Genuine question.

Reading this man’s love life was like watching a blindfolded man try to fistfight a blender.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.

A lot of blokes fear being rejected when it comes to proposing to the women of their dreams. Luke Wintrip embraced it 43 times.

I could already tell by that weak jawline in the photo that we were in big trouble.

Proposing 43 times is as dignified as begging for a raise while shitting your pants with a loud fart in your boss’s office. Humiliation at its highest peak.

FORTY THREE TIMES!!!!!!

Anyone who thinks this is romantic needs an ice-cold cup of water thrown in their face. 'Cause what on God's green blessed earth are we even thinking, here?

For seven years, he got down on one knee.

Seven years.

Forty-three proposals.

On average, that’s every 59.4 days. Holy shit.

One final "Yes."

You probably saw the TikTok. The fairy lights. The castle. The horseback proposal in Jamaica. The viral caption…

Which she couldn’t wait to brag about.

“But why do you care Mav! Let people be happy”.

I care, one, because it’s a public story from which she was happy to gain clout on her public TikTok. Two, it kept coming up in my feed, so I had to weigh in. Three, if my writing about this pisses you off.

Block me, bitch. I don’t even know you exist. There’s a lesson to be learned here, and I’m the one to give it.

Persistence doesn’t prove love; that’s some Disney poppycock you’ve been brought up to believe. The current state of the world features a lot of women who want status, validation, and storybook optics, and a narrative that builds them up, so persistence just makes you a prop they can humble-brag about on social media.

Just look at her TikTok. 100’s of videos using this man for content, and when she actually has videos of her, hardly any views. She saw a formula and exploited it.

Just like our unknown victim, Luke.

That’s what this 43-proposal story really is. A cautionary tale wrapped in a TikTok caption. I want his marriage to last. I want them to be happy, but the way this looks, if I were a betting man, it ain’t gonna pan out.

Luke proposed to Sarah 43 times over 7 years before she finally said “yes.” Now they’re married, and the internet’s split between applause and facepalms.

This is about you and whether you understand the game you’re actually playing.

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#1 | Everyone Mistook This for Romance

“He should probably get a Guinness World Record. I’m grateful he persisted.”

That’s how Sarah, 38, marketing exec, mother of three, described the man who proposed to her 43 times.

Luke? 36, tattoo artist, emotionally invested since 2018.

Proposal #1? A horseback ride in Jamaica.

Proposal #43? Greenwich, the Prime Meridian, where he told her she was the “center of his world.”

I guess 43 times the charm?

What strain of crack does this man smoke on, cause it must be amazing. This bozo didn’t win her over with romance; he wore her down like a YouTube ad you can’t skip after five seconds.

Social media loved it until they didn’t…

Once the story went viral, people dug deeper. They found the TikToks. The pinned jokes about testicles. The patronizing tone. The casual emasculation. Honestly, it’s bad. If the roles were reversed, they’d be legit outrage of abuse, cause her page is a long-tenured humiliation ritual.

Just look at this feed.

And suddenly, that Guinness-worthy persistence started looking a lot more like performative humiliation.

I feel kinda bad for Luke Wintrip; he wasn’t sloppy. He was desperate. He planned full-scale, cinematic gestures, a castle in Prague, a candlelit dinner in Spain, and horseback riding in Jamaica.

Each time, Sarah Wintrip, two years his senior, said no. I can’t help but think that after the 10th time, it kind of became a running joke for her. A thing that became amusing to brag about and see how far it could go.

Her words after the first rejection?

“We’ve only been dating for six months. I love you but I don’t want to say yes to something I’ll regret.”

I suspect that she did need more time, more time to see if someone better was out there.

That’s fair, I guess. 6 months is too quick, but sometimes when you know. You know. He waited. He tried again. And again, and again and again…

Proposal #42? She looked him in the eyes and said:

“Next time you ask, I’ll say yes. But just you wait.”

So fucking weird, but like the lackluster fool he clearly is, he asked again, and she said yes. I guess I’m trying to fathom how, after the 10th time, he didn’t realize that if she ever does say yes, it’s more of her losing a war of attrition.

Proposal #43 came in Greenwich, London. The symbolic center of world time. Luke pointed to the Prime Meridian and said…

“This is the center of the world. You are the center of mine. Will you marry me?”

She said yes.

But things like this are the issue, right?

#2 | “You are the center of my world”.

As soon as I saw that. It looked good, sounded romantic, but I immediately saw the issue here…

• ❌ It signals emotional overinvestment to a point where you forget your sense of self.

• ❌ It puts her on a pedestal, which destabilizes healthy polarity.

• ❌ It lacks boundaries and screams neediness, especially after 42 rejections.

Psychologically, when a man makes a woman his “entire world,” it triggers a very healthy imbalance. Even if it sounds romantic, it’s actually a mild form of emotional self-erasure. C’mon, a man who lives for her loses himself; a man who lives with her builds a life they can both stand in. This concept shouldn’t be novel.

Women want a partner, not some bitch made planet orbiting around her ego.

From a masculine energy perspective, you lead with purpose, not with worship.

“You’re the one I want by my side as you help me to build the world I’ve envisioned for us.”

💡 See the shift? She’s a part of your shared mission, not the mission itself.

His sentence alone is weak.

• He lacks clarity, conviction, and self-respect.

• He seeks approval instead of asserting truth

• He reflects the mindset of a man hoping to be chosen, not choosing.

His whole mindset is scary, to be honest. Have men really become pussywhipped into submission by society? You can’t help but feel like this poor man is getting pegged on a nightly basis. That he swallowed his own balls a decade or so ago and never really looked back.

But they’re married now, so c'est la vie, I guess?

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(Disclaimer: Please read the whole article before you start running your mouth in the comments. Crying like a lil baby. You disagree cause you don’t like the title. READ THE WHOLE THING before you release those chubby little fingers on your keyboard or phone, and don’t make a point on things I never wrote. FFS)

I didn’t stutter.

• “You misogynist”

• “Asshole”

• “What a douchebag.”

Get them out of your system while you still can, chumps.

(tbh honest I am an asshole, so fair play)

As men, we’re always told, “we’ll never understand,” “those are womens spaces,” “it’s not your lived experience,” ‘That’s a woman’s issue, stay out of it,’ ‘women can’t have any spaces’ and ‘You’re a man, this isn’t for you to comment on,’ and for the most part we keep it moving and mind our business.

We’re instructed, ‘Men can’t understand women’s issues,’ as if empathy is gendered, then questioned why we’re not empathetic enough, confiscating the map and mocking us for getting lost.

We’re told to stay silent, then blamed for not speaking up. We’re asked to empathize, then exiled from the conversation. You can’t muzzle the witness and then demand testimony.

(Of course, I’m being facetious for those of you who lack any kind of understanding of levity, not literally every woman.)

I’ve actually read a few books by women dating coaches that give specific advice to men. I’ve watched social media videos of the same type of content. In my honest opinion…

They never really helped; they’re about as useful as a preacher in a strip club, and I’ll explain why.

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Performative virtue signaling advice

I honestly do not know when this became a thing, but a lot of these female coaches give this kind of “good guy advice.” When the advice they give is not the kind of guy they usually date.

It’s like selling a product they wouldn’t buy. Don’t take advice from someone whose actions contradict their words, or else you may as well buy cologne from a street skunk.

Most female dating coaches tell men what they want to hear, these cutesy, whimsical platitudes based on nothing but conjecture or something that ONE guy did for her once.

Why? Because their audience, most of whom are simping men, are going to drink all of their “knowledge” up in hopes they can get a girl who looks just like the very woman giving advice; none of these female dating coaches who give advice to men are unattractive; they know exactly what they’re doing. You’re falling right into their “buy my $2000 dollar course, trap.

Just look at this lineup…

I love advice like this! So hilariously useless. No specifics, just go up to a girl, make eye contact, and smile. How the fuck would she knowwww!? How many heterosexual women has she approached? She couldn’t count to one hand. Advice like this is so weak.

In this video, you have a woman stealing and using another guy's content to give you advice.

It’s all for their platform. Not for you.

Look at the image. Now, be honest, if the guy on the left walked up with “confidence” and “kindness,” would it even matter?

He could recite Shakespeare and still get ghosted. Meanwhile, the guy on the right? He barely has to speak. This is about perception, and women have no clue what it’s like to date as a man who doesn’t check all their unconscious boxes.

Most women don’t feel what it’s like to be ignored by 97% of women just for existing. A man can be kind, articulate, emotionally intelligent, and still be seen as “invisible”.

Doesn’t matter what the guy on the left says; he’s already invisible.

I’ve lived it. I’ve had the rare experience of gaining 88 pounds and losing it, and I learned more about women when I was a fat bastard than most men would in their lifetime.

Women will never understand because they don’t date as we do. They don’t know what it’s like to be ignored before you even speak.

Dreams will always sell far better than the truth. Female dating coaches serve up honeyed words like a smooth cocktail, but real-life dating hits like a straight shot of whiskey, a jarring contrast between sweet illusions and the hard-hitting truth of what men face.

I would genuinely love to see an average-looking woman with no curves, no ass, with lil bee stings who’s a little overweight try to approach just five men in one night.

Just five and make it a reality show. It would open up people's eyes.

It ain’t as easy as people say.

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It’s their own preferences.

When men give dating advice, it’s not some manifesto of what we want; it’s battlefield intel that we learned through trial and error, and that’s only from the men who had the balls to at least fail.

We’re not sitting around manifesting dream girls; we’re the ones expected to initiate, orchestrate, and entertain all while reading the cues like a mind reader with a blindfold.

We're the ones who have to cold open women and think on the fly. We have to have “game” like it’s a full-time job with no salary, no PTO, and zero tolerance for nervous energy. And God forbid we hesitate because if we don’t lead every early interaction like a suave movie protagonist with therapist-level emotional IQ, we’re branded awkward, creepy, or weak.

Advice from men is forged in nothing but raw, hard-hitting experience.

Hers? Usually filtered through a cocktail of wishful thinking, Pinterest quotes, and shit she might have experienced that crumbles under real-world conditions. These chicks throw in some shitty prompt into ChatGPT or Google and then jump on TikTok and have the fucking nerve to waltz onto Shark Tank.

Advice without experience is just noise in a man’s storm. You can’t coach pressure if you’ve never been under it. Especially when you’re an attractive female who wouldn’t know rejection if it pissed on your Jimmy Choo’s.

And yet some of dumbass men STILL go for it…

Women rarely, if ever…

• Have to make the first move

• Ask for a man's number at a bar

• Initiate the first kiss

• Lead the conversation

• Lead the initial dating stages

• Plan the first date

• Read her cues while suppressing their own nerves

• Pay the tab without hesitation

• Risk public rejection

• Maintain frame

• Balance humor with intrigue

• Gauge when and how to escalate emotionally or physically without being ‘too much’ or ‘not enough.’

How do I know this?

Experience.

So how the fuck can a woman give me any advice about dating women when she’s merely a recipient and not a pursuer?

Hell, even if she was lesbian and dated other women, our experiences are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

Look, man, wake up. The passenger doesn’t lecture the driver on how to handle the road. Women who coast on comfort shouldn’t advise those who navigate risk.

They don’t need to master text game, approach anxiety, or the art of subtle escalation, all while hiding fear of failure under a mask of effortless charm.

In my experience, I have found that some women don’t fully understand how attraction works for men. In the sense that some of them think it is asymmetrical.

You don’t bait a lion with the food it hunts, you bait it with what it needs. Attraction knows nothing of equality. It just wants to fuck.

What makes a man desirable rarely makes a woman feminine. Strength in him is protection; strength in her is competition. I’m baffled that most people don’t see this slapping them straight in the face.

Of course, we want a highly educated, independent woman who is good on her own. But we don’t need her to be rich; it doesn’t turn us on. We don’t need her to be college-educated for us to fall in love, to defend us physically, and most men don’t really date super-tall women unless they’re tall themselves.

Look, I’m not trying to be rude; I know you think this is coming from some evil, misogynistic cis male. But this is as real as it gets right here. Are there attractive traits that are asymmetrical? Absolutely. That’s what I write about typically. But female dating coaches talk about attraction topics that are NOT similar. Women and men are not always attracted to the same things!

A man’s resume builds desire; a woman’s essence builds connection. The roles are different, and so are the rewards.

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Women Date From a Place of Receiving

In dating, men lead; this all runs on code written by dated gender scripts, even your ardent feminists live by this script.

Meanwhile, women show up, evaluate, and swipe. You might think it’s narrative bias, but it’s sexual script theory, proven in psychology. Women are socialized as passive recipients, men as initiators and pursuers.

A massive Tinder dataset confirms it. Men initiate nearly 80% of conversations.

And studies going back decades show men send most first messages and bear the burden of the chase, while women wait to be pursued.

So she’s not working.
She’s not leading.
She’s riding shotgun, calling shots, editing, evaluating…

While you’re the one sweating in traffic.

She doesn’t pay. She doesn’t get dismissed mid-sentence. She doesn’t worry if her height makes her invisible in an app filter.

You do.

You hustle game, plan pressure-tested experiences, mask insecurity, dance around approach anxiety, try to balance charm with frame all so she can be selective.

Because she never had to chase.
She’s passed the test before it even began.

1. She didn't get rejected hundreds of times before the date.

2. She didn’t initiate conversation under stress.

3. She hasn't navigated approach anxiety, lead escalation, or felt the sting of invisibility when your photo fails match filters.

That’s why her coaching often sounds like sunshine advice, sweet, comfortable, but about as real as a rom-com coda written by someone who has never paid the emotional toll.

• The matching hypothesis confirms that women typically connect with men of equal or higher perceived status. They don’t chase you down, they wait for someone who meets their bar.

• Gender studies reinforce this; men are conditioned to lead, and women to respond. That’s doing gender; both parties' performance is based on social expectation.

• Even sociology shows that assortative mating, women seeking status, and men seeking youth, reinforce unequal dynamics in early encounters.

If she’s never had to drive through emotional ambush zones or cold‑call a stranger from scratch, her “expertise” isn’t experience, it’s theory on a soapbox.

And you muppets go and buy her book!?

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So, is all advice useless?

If a straight woman literally has no experience dating other women. What good is her advice?

Think long and hard about this one.

Does it make sense?

How would they know?

Advice without experience is theory dressed as truth.

For real, though, ask yourself that question. How would they know? How could they teach you how to get a woman’s number and ask her out for a date when they have NEVER done it? How many times have they been rejected by going in for a first kiss with a woman? How many times have they walked up to a group of men wanting to speak to just one of them? And one of the men tells her to fuck off!? How many times have they tried to strike up a conversation with a stranger in public without being labeled or seen as a creep, pervert, or harassed, and all the rest? If they can count on more than two hands, I’d be very, very surprised.

Wisdom demands skin in the game, not just cliched, overused advice from the sidelines.

Relying on their advice for approaching women is like a blind man guiding you through a maze; they can talk about the turns, but they’ve never seen the path.

Never ask a fish how to catch other fish. They wouldn’t have a clue what to tell you. (And yes, I know women are not fish, it’s an analogy — relax)

Everyone is different, and what works with one woman may not work for another. It is ultimately up to the individual to decide what advice to follow and what works best for them in their own dating and relationship endeavors.

Seek advice from men who actually get decent dating app matches, who actually suffer more rejection than lead them to success, who actually have to do most of the legwork, and who have to face the live rejection of approaching a complete stranger. Not someone who is simply the receiver of advances and male attention and complains about the lack of smooth and “fun approaches” they receive, whereas most men don’t receive any effort at all. You actually have to work for your dating activity.

A queen who’s been courted her whole life will never know what it costs to conquer.

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Bias and agendas

If you were about to buy a house, who would you go with?

• The realtor who has never sold a house and will never sell a house a day in their life

• Or a realtor who has sold multiple houses and will continue to do so?

• Would you rather learn to cook from someone who’s never boiled water, or a chef who’s seasoned pots and pans in countless kitchens?

• Who would you trust to pilot a plane: someone who’s only ever read about flying in books, or a seasoned pilot with thousands of hours in the cockpit?

• A fish can tell you what it likes to eat, but it can’t teach you how to fish. If you want to catch fish, you learn from the fisherman.

• A civilian can criticize war tactics, but a soldier knows what actually works in battle.

It seems like an easy decision, right? Yet some men still follow advice from women who have never ever dated other women. It’s great to get a woman’s perspective and empathize with women’s lived experiences absolutely; we’re trying to bridge the gap of understanding in general. But the dating advice you get from one woman is based on HER standards. HER wants HER desires. Not the potential woman you want to date.

• If she, being a conventionally attractive woman, took her own advice and did this, I would imagine 8/10 times. She would find success. Cause most men never have and will never be approached by women a day in their life.

• If a conventionally attractive man tried out the advice in the video as above, he’d probably get 3/10 responses.

Why?

• Women have been taught to protect themselves at all times for a reason; they have to make sure he’s safe; they do not know that by one simple interaction with a few sentences.

• When is this man approaching her? Night time> daytime? Where are they?

• Did she give him eye contact? Was there any kind of consensual body language omitted?

• Some people believe we live in a gynocentric society that pacifies and coddles women. If a woman gets rejected, most men will go out of their way to be nice about it and not hurt her feelings cause they want them to feel respected.

• If a man gets rejected, that’s it. Toughen up and move on cause were expected to take our lumps.

Why? Because it is a commonly held belief that society is gynocentric, meaning that it is increasingly becoming geared towards women’s interests and perspectives, and that this gynocentrism results in men being held to different standards than women when it comes

• Most sperm banks want men who are 5’10 and above

• In essence, sperm banks provide what the market demands. They are catering to the preferences of their customers, which in this case are women. If there was a demand for sperm donors who were high school dropouts, sperm banks would fulfill that demand. The root of the problem lies not with sperm banks but with the societal pressure and stigma that dictate that taller men are more desirable and successful in the dating market. Women are not lining up to give this advice on TikTok are they?

• Women care about attractiveness almost the exact same as men.

Some women have different objectives in mind for men when giving dating advice, and this can lead to conflicting or ineffective advice.

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So what does this mean for you?

Most men who didn’t date or marry their high school/college sweetheart are successful in dating and have often worked hard to learn and analyze things that work and don’t work. Some people suggest that it’s better to listen to the woman’s advice and do the opposite, while others suggest that it’s better to pay attention to women’s actions rather than listen to their words. I say the only women you should listen to and take advice from are the women in front of you, the women you interact with. How do they like to be treated? What can you do better to support them?

• “What’s your attachment style?”

• What are you comfortable with?”

• “How DO YOU communicate?”

• What’s important to you?”

• “How do you move through conflict?”

That’s the only woman you should be getting dating advice from.

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Here’s what I know is simple and effective.

Show women respect and be upfront, protective, confident, and calm.

It’s also essential to avoid trying to impress women by acting like someone you’re not or trying to buy their affection. Instead, focus on being genuine and building a genuine connection. A lot of experience when it comes to dating is created by trial and error, and learning what you like and typically what type of girls you go for like you in return. And seeing if there is a middle ground.

I don’t know; it just happened. I was just so drunk.

I sat there confused, shocked, and extremely disappointed. How could this happen to Rachel, my good little Christian girl?

Let’s rewind for a sec.

We just finished watching Return of the Jedi, and I said…

Me: I really enjoyed today. I feel like I could do this for a long time.

Rachel’s face crumpled before I could process why. Her shoulders shook. Tears welled fast. Oh boy.

Me: “Hey, hey, what’s wrong!?”

Her voice cracked as if the words were tearing their way out.

Rachel: “I like you so much, and this will ruin everything.”

A knot twisted in my chest. I had no idea what the big reveal was gonna be. But I was suspicious.

Me: “What!? Are you okay?”

Rachel: “No! Usually when I tell guys this… they leave me.”

I reached for her hand, felt the tremor in her fingers.

Me: “No, I’m not gonna do that.”

She shook her head, hair clinging to her cheeks.

Rachel: “Yes, you will.”

I kept my voice low, steady.

Me: “Just be honest. I’m here to listen, okay?”

She hesitated, eyes searching mine, as if trying to gauge the strength of the ground she was about to step onto.

Rachel: “Okay… and you promise you won’t judge?”

The rain outside grew heavier, filling the silence. I nodded. But I started to get a little apprehensive.

Me: “I promise.”

Her gaze drifted away. Her breathing slowed. Then, with a voice so small I almost missed it, she began…

Rachel: “There was this concert… Lil Wayne and Drake. I was young. Stupid. I thought attention was what I wanted, I wanted to feel sexy. Thought being wanted meant I mattered.”

She swallowed hard, the memory sour on her tongue.

Rachel: “Backstage. I drank too much pretending I was fine… and it turned into a gangbang, there were just a bunch of phones with lights on around me. I told myself I wanted to do it and it was fun. Told myself it was power and freeing. But it wasn’t. It was me… I had, I had no self-esteem.”

Her eyes glistened, but they weren’t just tears; there was deep, deep shame and something heavier. Regret that had been sitting in her bones for years.

Rachel: “And I’ve regretted it every day since. Whenever I’m honest men leave, but you said we should always be honest so I’m trying again.”

I was fucking gobsmacked. I knew that wasn’t the end, so I asked her more questions, and she told me about sucking a dude off on a first date at a movieplex in the back row. And that there might be a video (or two) of her on pornhub.

Keep in mind, I met this girl at a book club.

A fucking book club. We had dated for about 5 months. I was in shock. It really slapped the shit out of me and woke me up to how some women are, especially the ones who “would never do that”. That night I saw things differently and wrote down the questions I would ask her going forward to figure some things out.

It didn’t work out with Rachel. I couldn’t relate to a lot of the stories she’s ashamed of. Even at my lowest self-esteem when I was 87 pounds overweight and in a fragile state, fresh out of my undergrad and straight to my MBA.

I was sad, but never gang bang sad. I wasn’t eating girls out like wonton soup in the back of an AMC.

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Dating Can Be Rough (If you have standards)

Especially if you grew up in a fairly conservative Christian household, the world is different from how you were raised.

Just when you think you’ve got the hang of it, you walk around a corner and get smashed in the face with a hammer. At least, that’s what my journey was like.

These brutal lessons have taught me invaluable truths about dating, love, and the mystifying, beautiful creatures that are women.

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” — Marcus Aurelius.

1. Women are Not a Monolith

My younger, more naive self was convinced that cracking ‘the female code’ was the key to dating success. I was convinced I just needed to learn the code, and I’d be good.

I was on a quest for a grand theory of womanhood that would make Albert Einstein weep with joy. That was a fool’s errand. Even the women I dated who seemed the same at first were drastically different.

There is no ‘one size fits all approach to dating. Women aren’t a secret puzzle to be solved; they are human beings with different personalities and backgrounds. Attempting to categorize them into a single group only leads to missed opportunities and a lot of confusion. Please be careful of these “dating expert” grifters who claim to have the ultimate answer.

No one does.

The only enigma you should focus on is solving yourself, and dating good women will be easier. Do you know who you are? What do you stand for? What would you die for?

This is a great thing to know because it means you don’t have to formulate a strategy or “pick up tactic” for women. If you go into any dating interaction as your best self, she’s either going to like you or not. I like those odds- no shades of grey, simply black or white.

You always want a yes or a no. But never a maybe.

One way I always used to meet women is to say, “Do you find me attractive?” straight up, no bullshit, in front of everyone. If they said yes, I would continue; if they hesitated or said no, I moved on.

The idea here is that you unearth your own code. You find out how to unlock the best version of yourself so that even if she’s not into you. You’re, at the very least, undeniable and inevitable to other women. When your value is undeniable, her opinion is irrelevant; that’s becoming so complete that attraction is no longer a negotiation.

The beauty of mastery over self is that no matter how many times you get rejected, you’re comfortable where you are, who you are, and what you bring to any equation. A man’s confidence is built on knowing he needs none.

Not a fucking lick.

Being rejected doesn’t mean shit because rejection only stings if you doubt your own value.

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2. A Lot of Women Can’t Communicate for Shit.

Not all women are good communicators. The more I studied the sweet art of communication, the more I drew further away from women who were just completely wack at communication.

I don’t say that from a place of arrogance; it was just harder to want to waste time with someone who couldn’t express their thoughts and feelings, especially older women.

You have a whole ass 30+ years to learn communication, and you still flop? Talking to some women feels like playing charades with someone in witness protection.

Good communication is rare yet precious. It’s about being open, asking questions, and not just listening but hearing. It’s the foundation of understanding, respect, and love in a relationship. A man who only listens to reply will never hear what matters. I’ve learned that the strongest relationships aren’t built on love alone but on the courage to speak and the wisdom to listen.

This becomes such an easy marker to identify women who simply lack the skill, and yourself if you’re a communicative joke.

When you truly master communication, you stop wasting time on women who don’t.

Trust me; this is a gift and will save you so much time!

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3. Rejection Is Protein to Your Mental Muscles

This is an old dating trope often parroted to men, but we keep going on about it for a reason. It’s a large part of dating. Trust me, a man who fears “no” will never earn a “yes” worth having.

There’s no way about it.

Because you’re a man, you’ll experience the most rejection cause our antiquated society dictates we still must do the initial stages of dating. You can’t avoid rejection, and if you find yourself doing that, you miss out on so many experiences, growth, learning, and things you could have done differently. The price of experience is failure; pay it or stay broke.

YOU CAN’T AVOID THIS.

YOU. CAN’T. AVOID. REJECTION

Remember, there are always lessons in rejection or failure, especially within dating. Society offers little remorse or empathy for men who suffer rejection at the hands of a woman- if anything, they mock you for it, so get used to that sobering thought and go for no until you’re into a different stratosphere of rejection, a different level that no other man has the confidence even to get close to. Then, it will become like water flowing off a duck’s back.

Please trust me on this one, men who collect rejections like trophies will one day hold the prize no one else was bold enough to chase.

After psyching myself up for what felt like a lifetime, I finally swooped in on a lady who’d caught my eye. And she hit me with the biggest compliment of my life…

‘I’m not interested.’

Even if they “give you the eye” or motion for you to come over, all it takes is one dumb sentence or an odd delivery to give them the ick. So prepare for that and remember the world won’t hand you empathy, so build a mind that doesn’t need it.

Women will always expect you to walk it off and leave them the fuck alone. You must learn to get your ego in check and leave the interaction like a gentleman, even if she was rude. We’re simply not afforded the emotional freedom to express how annoyed or disappointed we are with how we’re treated, so just smile, thank her for the interaction, and walk away.

The brutal sting of rejection is temporary, but the regret of not taking a chance lasts much longer. Always leave the interaction better than you found it. Mastery of self means walking away with dignity, whether you win or lose.

It’s not…

“Fuck you, you fat big backed walrus looking bitch!!” If you get rejected.

Instead, it SHOULD be…

“No worries, I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening.”

Never ever take rejection as a reflection of our self-worth. If somebody rejects you or your choices, you are still that brilliant man deep inside, and you are still worth every bit as much as you would be if you had not been rejected in the first place. You’re not measured by who accepts you, but by how unshaken you stand when they don’t.

He (Above) repelled other women by having no grace or humility

If you are rejected, never ever try to negotiate a better outcome. Jesus, this is the worst and most embarrassing thing you can do. It makes things so much worse. It will NOT go in your favor because the person who chose to reject you made their mind up a long time ago. All dignity is lost the moment you plead for what was already denied.

Like, look at this dude (below) pandering, over-explaining, moving back and forth. Who gives a fuck about their reasoning? Just take the L and go with grace.

And he keeps saying, “I got my shit together”.

My brother in Christ, if you’re a 40-year-old and you have your shit together, THAT’S THE BARE FUCKING MINIMUM. Not a flex.

Like I said, being rejected is part of the process, sure. But never forfeit your self-esteem to another’s disapproval or rejection of who you are or what you stand for. You must always hold on to recognize the power of building up your self-esteem consistently. If you allow rejection to rob the best of who you’ve spent so long on becoming, all you’re passively doing is giving power to the worst of what’s been said about you.

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4. Love Isn’t Some Dick Measuring Contest

In the early days, I treated dating like a power play, a strategic game of emotional chess. I thought I had to ‘win’ to be in control; that was partly the cause of my previous dating trauma. But real relationships are about partnership.

Strength in love is the space you give. You must let things breathe.

Just look at this text…

A relationship thrives on equity, respect, and mutual support. It’s not about who’s in control but about navigating the journey of life together.

Have you ever heard of this parable?

The Compass and the Map

A man carried a map, certain he knew the way. His partner held a compass, feeling the direction. He dismissed her, relying only on what he could see. They wandered for years, until he finally listened—realizing that while maps show the path, compasses find the way.

It’s a lot more fun when you’re not trying to score points. If someone isn’t grateful for even the simplest of first dates, she doesn’t like you and isn’t worth spending a cent on. Move on to the woman who likes you for you.

Holy shit, dating isn’t a dick-measuring contest, and if you really want a true long-lasting partnership with a good woman, it rarely, if ever, starts with you metaphorically sucking her toes cause you’re so desperate for a date. Or tolerating poor behavior because she’s hot. You work together, you build together. It’s two people, not one.

Don’t buy her a lobster just to feed her.

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5. There will always be Double Standards

Most women can pretty much do what they want in dating. If anything, a lot of them are praised. A woman can jump on social media and talk down about men in one of the worst misandrist-filled tirades you’ve heard. And so many people will want to fondle her balls a little longer just so they can bend the knee all the way down to the fucking basement.

Woman: “I don’t want no broke, short man coming to talk to me, if you look dusty and ugly, I ain’t gonna give you my time.”

Man: “I don’t want to date a fat chick; if you look ugly, I ain’t gonna give you my time.

In most cases, a woman would be praised for having standards and be labeled as empowered. The man is labeled a fat-phobic misogynist. The irony is that you can always lose weight, but you can’t get taller. And I’m labeled a scum bag cause I don’t want to date Gorlock The Destroyer fresh out the dungeon?

GTFOH.

Or look what happened to this guy on a cruise.

I find it fuckin insane that no one did ANYTHING. They just let her do it. No ramifications apart from maybe kicking her out. Women can pretty much do and say what they want to men, and not much will be done about it.

cAuSE sHE’ a wOmaN!

Despite allegedly being empowered and emotionally mature, women are still treated like infantile little children with no guard rails who do and say what they want cause they know the consequences will be minimal.

Women laying down their dating rules on social media is like being the queen of the castle. A guy doing the same is like the court jester getting pelted with rotten tomatoes.

Double standards.

These double standards are annoying and can often leave you feeling like you’re running a race with your shoelaces tied together. It’s a chaotic, wonderful, frustrating, exhilarating dance, and navigating these double standards is just a part of the rhythm. I don’t anticipate anything changing. But like most other things, as a man, you’re just expected to deal with it.

A lot of these double standards are so ingrained in society that we often don’t realize they exist until they’re pointed out. A good woman will hear you out. Or find someone who is highly socially aware and sees both sides. You must empathize with her as a woman and her with you as a man.

It’s about finding a balance and building a relationship that values and respects both partners equally. After all, equality isn’t about everyone being treated the same; it’s about everyone being treated as equals. Men and women are not the same, never will be, and we don’t want to be. Learn the importance of equity and equality in any relationship. Get used to the double standard; it ain’t going anywhere.

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6. The Unspoken Expectations

In the grand scheme of dating, there’s a well-established yet often unspoken rule that men are typically expected to make the first move for pretty much everything. That’s why men will always start most dating scenarios on an uneven playing field.

The burden of initiation is the silent tax men pay for the chance to be chosen. Something women will NEVER grasp. Yet some of you muppets take dating advice from them.

• Asking a woman out for the first time

• Planning the 1st — 3rd date

• Making future plans

• Making the first call

• Leaning in for the first kiss

• Initiating the first consensual sexual encounter

• Paying for the date

• Sending the first message after the date

• Establishing the first contact — This can happen both online and offline

Her reasoning is not unique, trust me. People will often make excuses for things they don’t want to be. She literally says, there shouldn’t be a rule, but then proceeds to tell him what the rule should be. Do they hear themselves talking? I’m baffled.

Trust me; there’s plenty more where that came from. In essence, it’s the unglamorous yet essential groundwork that often falls to men in the early stages of dating. It’s a brutal lesson learned by many of us in our first forays into the dating world, especially if you’re a very passive-anxious man. Or if you actually believe in equality. You assume most women will chip in with this and actually be active participants in the courtship phase. But it seems all they’re happy to do is respond, accept the date, and maybe ask some questions.

Most won’t.

Waiting for women to plan a first date is like expecting a vending machine to hand you free snacks, ain’t happening unless it’s broken. The man’s gotta lead. They might not like the patriarchy, but holy shit, they’ll exploit the parts that benefit them as much as they can.

I got news for ya, a lot of women will not have the time or the patience to help in the courtship phase cause there will always be a sucker that can will always concede and suck up to her as much as he can. You must get used to doing most of the groundwork. Are there some women who actually stand by equality and put their money where their mouth is and help with some of the groundwork? Yes. But they’re few and far between, my friends.

Society, tradition, and even biology have a role to play here. Historically, men have been seen as the pursuers in romantic relationships. While society has evolved in many ways, this dating trope remains relatively unchanged.

The so-called modern feminists can pretend they want it to change, but if they really did, it would. This is why I always say a lot of modern feminists are full of shit.

It’s a curious piece of cultural baggage we carry with us despite the strides toward gender equality. Some things they don’t want to be changed, but they’ll never admit it. That would be too easy.

It’s selective equality.

Progress is a one-way street when convenience is the driver; some traditions die hard, but others get a VIP pass.

It can feel daunting, frustrating even, to shoulder the burden of these initial steps. It may seem like an uphill battle at times, especially if you don’t feel appreciated, but remember; these efforts aren’t in vain; practice always makes perfect. Taking the initiative shows your interest and can set the tone for the relationship. Your investment in the early stages can help to build trust and establish a strong foundation for the relationship.

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Despite this, there’s never been a better time to date.

Embrace the process. Find joy in planning a perfect first date, take pride in being able to make her laugh on that first phone call, and feel the exhilaration of that first kiss. These are the moments that make the pursuit worthwhile, that add color and excitement to the journey of dating.

If it doesn’t work out, that’s great. You’ll always have experience, and experience remains the best teacher, as long as you know it gives you the test before the lesson!

The river that carves the stone does not ask permission, yet it listens to the shape it must become. She just needs to know you want to be there!

It might seem like a lot of work upfront, but every step, every stumble, and every victory brings you closer because struggle is the currency of anything worth having—without investment, there is no return.

A relationship built on mutual respect and shared effort. There are no shortcuts to becoming the man you’ve always wanted to be. The man you want to be is waiting on the other side of effort, discipline, and sacrifice; quit looking for a way around it.

If you‘ve made it this far. I spend a lot of time writing these; give me a like and comment some of your thoughts.

Your friend,

Mav

If Hitler were a woman, they’d say a man failed her

Honestly, I can’t believe we’ve come this far.

I can’t believe the accountability or lack thereof for women has reached this much of a fever pitch.

A woman kills 3 of her kids, admits to it.

Cora was 5. Dawson was 3. Callan was 8 months old. All three were strangled by their mother. May their sweet, innocent souls be in heaven.

But of course, as society does, there are millions of women rallying to her support.

Why aren’t people talking about the 3 innocent victims!! Why aren’t the people wearing pink talking about the children!! There still needs to be accountability. She strangled them one by one and watched the life slowly leave their eyes.

“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. - Isaiah 5:20.

No, I’m NOT joking; no, this is not hyperbole. A woman strangled three of her pure and innocent kids in cold blood, and women are clamoring online to defend her.

And I get it, right? Men are judged and condemned, women are supported and excused. But, cor blimey, we have pole vaulted over this shark and there ain’t no coming back.

Brain-rotted social media-induced cunts. I can’t make that any nicer even if I tried tbh. The Amount of women defending her im starting to think they lied about “women’s” frontal cortex developing first before men.

And what’s one of their key points they keep making

“Society failed her”

And of course one of my personal favorites and “oldie but goodie”…

“THE HUSBAND FAILED HER”.

Yes, my friends, we’ve reached a point in society where even if a woman kills THREE- yes, all three of her kids (May their souls rest in peace) women STILL find a way to blame men.

Three children are gone. Their father did not kill them. Their mother did. Yet somehow I am watching people put him on trial in the court of public opinion. Her GoFundMe is at $ 1 million.

Usually I’d post a meme or something on my notes, and we’d poke fun at the absurdity together. But this bothered me. It irked me and made me feel extremely uncomfortable in a way where I felt like it…

“How the fuck could I not write about this”

Frightening stuff, to be honest. What are ya’ll thinking? If I knew this woman, I’d call CPS ‘cause this shit is fucking insane.

I absolutely hate the visual and rhetorical implication, along with your innocent child in the video. Stop FUCKING USING YOUR CHILDREN FOR SOCIAL MEDIA CLOUT. With this very clear and extremely loaded message.

Using your child as props in an empathy campaign centered on the adult instead of the children she murdered is really sickening. It’s viscerally disturbing. A living child being cuddled while the caption expresses solidarity with the adult at the center of a case in which children were the victims. What the hell is going on!?

As shocking as this all is, there’s an element of familiarity with it all. When a woman is accused or, on the rare occasion, actually admits to doing something wrong, society loves to gather around her and declare it’s someone else’s fault other than her own…

• Sherri Papini — 2022 onward: Papini pleaded guilty after admitting her spectacular kidnapping story was fabricated, including false claims that two Hispanic women abducted her. She still left sentencing surrounded by supporters, including her husband’s sister, and by 2025 she was publicly recasting herself as an actual abduction victim despite her sworn guilty plea. Wtf!?

• Sarah Boone — 2024: Convicted of second-degree murder after video showed her boyfriend begging for air inside a suitcase; female witnesses and a female psychologist still framed her actions through prior abuse and battered-spouse syndrome.

• Amber Heard — 2022: A Virginia jury found her liable for defaming Johnny Depp, yet more than 130 women’s-rights groups, experts, and activists later signed a public letter defending her and arguing the verdict reflected serious misunderstandings of abuse.

• Maegan Hall — 2023–2024: An internal investigation found she had sexual relationships with multiple male officers, including encounters on duty and on police property; she was fired. She later sued, alleging supervisors groomed and sexually exploited her, and the city settled for $500,000 without admitting liability. Her attorney publicly called the settlement “a victory for Maegan Hall and for women in male-dominated workplaces everywhere.” As they couldn’t conceive that maybe she was just a freak with no morals. There was no jury verdict finding that Hall was sexually exploited, no judicial finding that the city violated her rights, and the city admitted no liability. The city paid $500,000 to settle and make the litigation disappear

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“But she had post partum psychosis”

And there it is, fellas.

The counterargument the reason why people are defending this murderer.

Lindsay Clancy does not dispute that she killed them. The trial underway is about whether she was criminally responsible at the time.

Personally, I think she killed her children and should be punished. That’s it, I don’t really give a fuck about the rest. Of course, this is a very biased, myopic view on my part, but let’s examine the facts…

The argument nationwide is…

“She killed her children, but she was genuinely psychotic and therefore may not have been legally responsible.”

Another female victim to be rallied around. Schrödinger’s feminist, right? A woman is simultaneously a victim and empowered, until something happens. Then she chooses which state benefits her the most.

In this case, fucking murder.

Cor blimey, we’ve lost the damn plot.

More than 500 supporters recently gathered outside the courthouse, some making heart signs and cheering as Clancy arrived.

Again, people have gone clinically insane. They should be locked up there with her. Imagine dating a woman who sides with the killer? Would you be comfortable letting this demon birth your child? Yeah, I’m going there.

Her supporters’ argument is that they’re advocating for postpartum mental-health awareness and believe the healthcare system failed her.

Postpartum mental-health awareness is very important. I fully agree we should speak more about this; it’s horrible that women have to go through this after sacrificing their body for 9 months. Here’s its definition…

It comes from Latin post = “after” and partum = “childbirth.”

Medically, the postpartum period often refers to roughly the first 6 weeks after delivery, when the mother’s body is recovering from pregnancy and birth.

• Postpartum depression (PPD) - a depressive disorder that begins during pregnancy or after childbirth. Symptoms can include persistent sadness, hopelessness, anxiety, guilt, loss of interest, and difficulty functioning.

This makes perfect sense; these warrior women just spent hours in pain pushing them out and now have to have them sucking on their tit every 3 hours while having to pump for milk when the babies are asleep. It’s a tall order not to get depressed.

My heart truly goes out to all women who go through this. Let me be very clear here so some of you bumbling idiots know where I stand, these conversations about this particular kind of depression need to be had, and as men we gotta be there for our women.

If you think I’m pandering?

Go fuck yourselves with a splintered dildo.

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But here’s where they lose me…

Nitwits online are arguing for her being…

Postpartum psychosis (PPP) - a rare psychiatric emergency involving a significant loss of contact with reality, potentially including delusions, hallucinations, severe confusion, paranoia, or disorganized behavior. It most commonly begins very soon after delivery, often within the first couple of weeks.

But hang on, Cora was 5. Dawson was 3. Callan was 8 months old. Very far from the first couple of weeks.

I’m not buying this at all.

Where is that enormous public display of grief for the three children who had no agency whatsoever? NONE. This evil woman killed them in cold blood.

The fact this moral imbalance doesn’t bother enough people disturbs me.

But she has a good defense the same way that murdering bastard, OJ, did (rest in hell, man). The defense has presented expert testimony that Clancy was psychotic, experiencing delusions and command hallucinations, and believed in some distorted way that killing the children was protecting them. Dr. Phillip Resnick, a prominent forensic psychiatrist who has studied parents who kill their children, testified for the defense that she was psychotic.

But that diagnosis is very heavily contested.

The prosecution’s forensic psychiatrist, Dr. Avram Mack, testified that Clancy had major depression but was not psychotic, could distinguish right from wrong, and could control her actions.

Surprise, surprise.

Prosecutors also point to behavior they say appears to be planning…

Sending her husband out, checking how long his errand would take, and acting normally shortly beforehand. Multiple clinicians who treated her before the killings testified that they had not observed psychosis.

That distinction is enormous.

Postpartum psychosis is real. I don’t deny that at all. Someone can be so detached from reality that ordinary ideas about intent and punishment don’t fit very well.

Here comes the hairy but…

Having postpartum mental illness does not automatically make killing your children legally involuntary. A small facet I’m shocked that basic humans can’t seem to wrap their pee brains around.

A person lacks criminal responsibility only if a mental disease or defect caused them to lack substantial capacity either to appreciate the criminality/wrongfulness of what they were doing or to conform their conduct to the law.

In layman’s terms, their brain was so sick at that moment that they either didn’t truly understand they were doing something wrong, or they couldn’t make themselves stop.

So the jury isn’t being asked…

“Was Lindsay Clancy suffering?”

Almost everyone accepts that she was suffering.

They’re essentially being asked…

“Was she so mentally ill at that precise moment that the law cannot meaningfully regard her actions as the choices of a criminally responsible person?”

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What Really Disturbs me…

It’s an age-old truth that women rarely, if ever, take accountability for anything. In this instance, a woman killed her three kids, and other women are looking for every excuse under the sun and performing mental somersaults to disprove the very obvious.

It’s this sickening romanticization of the case.

You can advocate for better postpartum psychiatric care; I’m right there with ya. You can believe doctors failed her. You can believe she was profoundly ill.

None of those things require turning Lindsay Clancy into the emotional center of the tragedy. As if she’s some willing victim.

Three very small, sweet, innocent human beings were killed by the person upon whom they were completely dependent.

• Cora.

• Dawson.

• Callan.

Their mother’s mental state may ultimately determine what society should do with her. It does not change what happened to them.

Children come into this world believing the hands that hold them are safe. They don’t understand betrayal. They do not understand murder. They simply trust. And the thought of someone taking that trust from children is unbearable.

Three children is beyond language. Three tiny lives. Three sets of eyes that once looked toward the same person for protection. There are crimes you can discuss intellectually. This is not one of them. Fuck that bitch. This reaches somewhere much older and darker inside you and makes you understand why human beings invented the idea of hell.

That’s where the fuck she belongs. Nice hot and fiery.

I’M NOT BACKING DOWN ON THIS.

Watching compassion migrate so overwhelmingly toward the adult whose psychology is complicated while the victims, whose innocence is uncomplicated, slowly become background characters in their own deaths is genuinely sickening.

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No Accountability

Because most women are rewarded for ardent self-destruction. I mean she killed her 3 kids and was rewarded with a 1million dollar crowd fund ffs.

The gap between how men and women handle responsibility is structural, psychological, and cultural. Women are raised to be liked and pedestalized, not accountable.

From childhood, boys and girls are trained differently.

Boys are told to “man up,” “own your mistakes,” and “take the hit.” Girls are more often comforted, excused, or protected from conflict. Cause they’re girls. When a boy cries, he’s told he’s weak. When a girl cries, the whole world reshapes itself to soothe her.

One becomes numb. The other becomes entitled. Both are set up to fail love, honesty, and growth.

According to a 2021 study from the University of Cambridge, boys are disciplined more harshly, while girls are more likely to be offered emotional support, even when they’re at fault.

Unfortunately, we’re setting it manifest right now in its ugliest form; Lindsay Clancy is quite literally getting a million-dollar check of support for fucking murder!

A woman can murder three of her kids, and she’ll still be handed a microphone, exclusive podcast invites, a magazine cover, or a brand deal, and a million-dollar defense all in the name of solidarity.

I’m for solidarity. If a man said, “shit man, it’s hard to provide for 3 kids”. I’d agree with him and offer solidarity. But fuck me, if he had a mental breakdown and killed those kids, I’m outside rallying for him for sure.

For him to be LOCKED THE FUCK UP.

As long as it trends, it thrives. When poor decisions (in this case murder) are rewarded with attention, they don’t stop; they metastasize.

You think it’s gonna end here?

It won’t; you will see more of these cases cause every year women understand how much they can get away with by grace of their sex.

The modern woman isn’t being held accountable because they are rewarded and encouraged to ignore accountability altogether. And so, a cycle begins…

• Make choices that are devilish

• Gaslight yourself into believing it’s “justified.”

• Get online support for it.

Repeat.

People will do anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own souls. Even if it means murder.

The media, marketing, and even local news outlets aren’t incentivized to criticize women. Accountability doesn’t sell. Shame doesn’t move ad space.

Instead, we’ve built a multi-billion-dollar industry around telling women they’re victims no matter what, even if they’ve committed one of the most horrific acts any human can possibly do.

Killing kids.

This is a very, very dangerous case; it may open Pandora’s box, allowing other women to act with complete impunity as they operate on enough of that already.

In the end, explanation cannot become a misguided sense of selective absolution. If society demands men control themselves through trauma, betrayal, depression and rage, the standard cannot suddenly disappear when the offender is a woman.

Empathy should explain behavior, sure, but there isn’t a world where it shouldn’t erase accountability.

Empathy belongs beside accountability, not in the witness box trying to acquit it.

Tonight I’m gonna stop the bullshit and start telling the truth.

Fellas, I’m kinda sick of men telling me outdated, tired, clichéd PC narratives that their dad or mum told them. Full of archaic and whimsical platitudes and shit they hear from the movies and cute little IG posts that have zero success and are based on fallacies they’ve been spouting out since the 60’s.

They give you advice about when they met their partner or spouse before dating app insanity, before social media enabled people to act like narcissistic crackheads, and the monetization of dating in general.

This kind of advice is as useful as wiping your ass with a scented candle during a house fire.

Every couple of years, the dating landscape for men changes dramatically; a world after the pandemic where social skills took an insane nosedive at 800mph and never really recovered.

It’s like trying to catch the chicken to train for a fight; just when you think you’ve got a handle on it, it slips right out of your grasp! Arrogantly clucking back at you with smug glee.

People keep doling out this wishy-washy, performative, romanticized version of dating that barely exists. A constant berating of men who usually aren’t even part of the culture they reference, whilst simultaneously dating the men they claim to hate.

Legacy media dating articles from the Washington Post, The Atlantic, etc. All written by biased women, all have the same ending…

Men are the problem.

Go check!

My uncle told me to ‘just be myself.’

This is the same man who’s divorced, has been working at Tesco since the 2000s, drinks Strongbow for dinner, and hasn’t seen his toes since Tony Blair was in office. Looking back on my own experiences, I wish I had been privy to some of the hard-earned wisdom other men who are actively dating could have shared with me.

That’s why I don’t tell you what you want to hear; I tell you what you NEED to hear. It might not always be nice, but it’ll put hair on your chest and prepare you for things that eventually will crush your soul a little.

If you don’t like it, go follow some female dating coach who’s never dated a woman in her life.

Ever heard of any of these?

• “Opposites attract.”

• “Older women are more mature and experienced.”

• “Play the field before settling down.”

• “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

• “All is fair in love and war.”

• “Women are the fairer sex.”

• “Just be a gentleman.”

• “Just be confident.”

• “Be honest, that’s all we want”.

None of these things are really true anymore, and that’s if they were ever true in the first place. If any of that Hallmark horseshit worked, divorce rates wouldn’t need their own damn zip code.

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1. Pay as little as possible on a first date.

Yeah, I’m going there.

IDGAF.

Remember, you know nothing about this woman.

Nothing. Why should you shell out more than the bare minimum? Every dollar you spend before reciprocity appears is a lesson you’re not learning and money that was best spent elsewhere.

There could be numerous things she does in her private life.

• Could be seeing other men.

• Could be hooking up with her ex or some random bloke.

• Could just be bored and want to be wined and dined.

• Might just want some attention.

• She may also be learning to enjoy her own company and independence.

• In the “having her fun” stage of life.

• Now, let’s be vehemently clear here.

• None of these are actually wrong for her.

I don’t presume to police women at all; women reserve the right to do whatever the fuck they want when it comes to dating, and I, for one, co-sign. I respect people when they’re themselves and not trying to hide who they are - it allows men to make wiser decisions.

But by that same token, so do you. This means you have to have your own standards, too. I mean the kind of woman you’re willing to commit to without asking her to change anything she’s doing.

This means you accept her as she is, or choose not to at all and find someone you’re more suited to.

A man with standards doesn’t negotiate them.

A man without them just begs to be broken.

In layman’s terms, if she’s not wife material, stop treating her like she is. If you treat a rental like a mortgage, don’t cry when it gets foreclosed.

But what kind of naive fool do you look like, spending exorbitant amounts of money on a first date with someone who wouldn’t do the same for you on the first date?

Be honest; count how many times a woman has…

A. Asked you out

B. Chosen the location and paid $80+ dollars for the date

C. Reached out to you after expressing how much of a good time she’s had.

You won’t even be able to count on two hands.

Women, on the other hand…

I’m not hating, but it’s the same old story for some women who preach progressive ideologies and want to dismantle the patriarchy but embrace patriarchal traditions within the sphere of dating and never really seem to give them another thought.

The first date should be about equality, and you both putting your cards on the table to see if it could be the start of something great. The moment you splurge, and she just sits there being the recipient, is the moment you’ve chosen to be at an imbalance from the jump. Yes, situations evolve, but typically, you’ve just trained her to see you as a financial doormat.

Yes, you will have to pay for a first date, and that’s fine; most of us men know and acknowledge this.

But be as cheap as possible. Cause you might not ever see her again. If she really likes you, she’ll be there.

It’s better to lose $10—$20 bucks than $50-$100.

Just look at this…

If you go on one date per week for a year, here’s the cost breakdown…

• Low-cost range (10–20 per date): $520 – $1,040 per year

• High-cost range (50–100 per date): $2,600 – $5,200 per year

That’s a $4,160 gap between the two extremes. Over multiple years, the difference becomes even more significant. That’s a decent amount of money. Money that they don’t have to spend.

Do you think they give a shit?

So why should you?

Someone who actually likes you won’t care how much you spend; she just wants to be around you. Treat her like a princess once you know she actually likes you. It’s that simple. Authentic love is measured in time and attention, not in dollars and cents, because when genuine affection is present, the heart’s presence matters more than the hand’s gifts.

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10:22 p.m. Thursday night. 2017. I’m somewhere between Provo and Salt Lake City, headlights chewing through I-15 while Nick Drake leaks through the speakers like cheap whiskey into an old wound.

Eighth date. Eighth.

By then a man should know whether he’s building something or financing an entitled brat. We’ve slept together. I’ve paid for dinners that cost more than my weekly groceries. We’ve collected enough polished little nights to fool Instagram into thinking something real lives underneath them.

But my tanks dry, man. I’m planning. Paying. Initiating. Pulling the whole goddamn machine while she sits shotgun enjoying the view. Sex had made the connection feel alive because bodies are stupid that way; it fools us into thinking a deeper level of intimacy is around the corner.

The next day I ask her straight.

Me: “How do you feel about me?”

Shelly: “Well, I like you a lot.” Fine. I press once more.

Me: “I just wanted to know how you feel.”

She gives me the verbal equivalent of a motel handshake.

Shelly: “Of course I wouldn’t hang out with you if I didn’t like you.”

That’s it. Six cheap words. It was done, man.

So this is where we start.

We find out why some men get wanted while others spend years sucking her toes. We find out why one bastard walks into a room, and women lean toward him, while another man buys dinner eight times and still leaves wondering what the hell he is to her.

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Being a Gentleman is shit advice.

Yep.

It’s old and tired and really shouldn’t be a tip to get into a woman’s pants. That’s as smart as trying to fight a house fire with the wax off of scented candles.

Why?

Manners without your own handcrafted magnetism are harmless, ornamental, and ultimately forgettable. Cause that’s every man’s tired old “game plan”. Attraction has always been built on polarity (masculine/feminine tension), authenticity, and the value of who you are. “Gentleman” behavior is fine as part of a larger whole, but when it’s your only move, it signals safety, not the spark you need to flirt with precision.

Kindness is respected; but real sexual tension is remembered long after you’ve said goodbye.

That’s what you want! You don’t want her to think…

“Oh, he’s pleasant, I kinda like him”.

You want her panties to get wet as soon as she thinks of what might have just happened but didn’t cause you left on a high note of tension.

“Fuck, this guys trouble”

Being a gent is a strategy born in a time when gender roles and courtship followed predictable scripts. Today, it leaves a man in the “nice but invisible” category, respected but not desired. When I was about 13–14 years old, I started to really like girls. My Christian conservative mum would give me the old clichéd advice.

• “Just be a gentleman.”

• “Be nice.”

• “Open doors for her.”

• “buy flowers”

• “buy the meal.”

• “never let her pay for anything.”

She wasn’t wrong. I bet in her day this shit worked like gangbusters. But it ain’t the 70s anymore, mum. Unfortunately, this approach didn’t always work for me, especially as a teenager. I got buried by these women.

Fucking buried.

I was called soft and too nice and a walkover. It was always great to do them favors and be called, “You’re such a nice guy.”

But it wasn’t really a major attraction trigger.

Meanwhile, the guys who called these women

• “Hoes”

• “Easy”

• “Just a slut”

And other names in the locker room, I won’t re-type, seemed to get all the women.

As I got into my late teens, I realized that there was more to attraction than just being a gentleman and that treating every woman like a princess and putting them on this paper-thin pedestal wasn’t enough, not even close.

Attraction is like fire; respect is the spark, but tension is the oxygen. You can be the nicest guy in the world, but if you smother a flame with too much reverence, it dies.

Throw passive female worship out the window and gravitate towards polarity. A woman doesn’t want to be placed on a pedestal so high she can’t feel the ground. She wants a man who stands beside her, unshaken, unbothered, and undeniably himself.

Why?

Cause most blokes have their lips surgically attached to her ass cheeks. She’s fucking bored.

I discovered through trial and error and common sense that men have certain instincts to provide and protect, but these instincts need to be overcome in order to connect with someone on a deeper level.

It needs to be deeper than what you’re biologically wired to do.

Telling men to “be nice” to women is like telling a chef to “just add salt” to a dish.

Most women don’t like pushovers, sycophantic men who are not assertive enough; it’s very much an unattractive “ick” to some women. Women are not and have never been some rigged monolithic group and will always have diverse preferences and personalities, so assuming that all women will respond positively to a certain type of behavior is misguided, myopic, and a little dangerous.

The sun doesn’t chase the moon, right? A man who values himself lets attraction unfold naturally; placing a stranger above yourself is the fastest way to lose your footing.

Let me be very clear here -being a gentleman is a great thing! But that should only be 10% of what you bring to the equation.

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds.” — Nicholas Sparks

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They believe the “good man” shortage has gotten worse…

But what they really mean is a somewhat wealthy man who makes more than they do.

“Good man” = Wealthy man. Remember, some women speak in implicature, not direct communication.

And the more money a woman makes, the harder it becomes, cause they’re fickle asses who refuse to “date down”. Which, by the way, is a horrible phrase to refer to any human.

Honestly, I find this shit so funny, and I have ZERO remorse, good I’m glad you can’t find wealthy men on your level. That’s what you get when you base your needs for a man on some silly financial requirement. I’m picking up the world’s smallest violin and flushing right down the toilet right after I’ve eaten some Del Taco.

Watching them mourn the tragic disappearance of men they mathematically eliminated is a truly profound full circle experience.

Boss bitches (their phrase, not mine) are getting desperate.

Historically, matchmaking was all about finding a good woman for a man. Back in the 2000s and 90s, a woman could just walk down the street, and men would lick the cheese between their toes just for a little “meet cute”. The stereotype was that rich men would turn to matchmakers to connect them with beautiful, often younger women who could hold a conversation, and matchmakers would source and vet these women- young, fertile, nubile women for them to start a family with.

But holy shit, “we done” moved so far off the beaten path.

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In the half-decade since the silly, gratuitous self-coined phrase “heteropessimism” barged its way into our daily lexicon, women started openly talking shit about how apparently a decent normal dude is no longer good enough. Somehow a decent bloke became dating’s store-brand cereal; now even the sea monsters assume they deserve imported champagne.

It’s become a modern progressive woman’s worst nightmare as men are now less educated, less likely to own a home, and more conservative; the field of matchmaking has changed.

Oh, the horror!

These poor wealthy women live a Greek tragedy every day. How can they go on? Crying into eight dollars of cinnamon-flavored Starbucks corporate sadness, blissfully unaware that coffee traveled from Ethiopia to Yemen over centuries just to die under whipped cream and a misspelled first name.

“Almost all of our inbound calls are women at the moment,” says the single Amy Van Doran, founder of Modern Love Club, a high-end matchmaking service whose services begin at $100,000.

Imagine being so god-awfully boring and possessing the social skills of a lemon you have to pay one hundred-fucking-thousand dollars to find a date.

Bahahahahahaha. C’mon man! Y’all gotta be laughing with me, surely.

Amber Lee, the co-founder of Select Date Society, says 82 percent of her clients in the past three years have been female.

I’m not really shocked. Women will brag online and post on social media about how they don’t need a man, and the more money they make, the less they need a man. But what women say and what they do are night and day.

These women have the audacity to call these men underwhelming because they’re not insanely accomplished, as if some random high-earning 9-5 slave wage who licks the boot off of someone in her company just because of his position and title is any better?

Knowing exactly which executive’s ass needs kissing before promotion doesn’t make you accomplished, Karen. Corporate usefulness was never meant to be synonymous with personal greatness

When I was younger, I was taught that being shallow and superficial were negative qualities; this was reinforced by much of the popular media. It’s absolutely mind-blowing to see these qualities not only commonplace, but seemingly celebrated? How could anybody possibly think they’re above 95% of any group? How is this not just being awfully conceited and vain?

Cheap gold shines the absolute brightest right before heavy iron beats it with a 50-tonne reality stick.

Have women truly reached this point of peak social hallucination?

Completely clueless.

It’s crazy. I got a good mate called Danny, lives in Hertfordshire just outside of London. He clears 162k (220k USD) a year with his OWN plumbing business. He answers to no one but himself, and his job is 100% AI-proof. Yet he’s had some random financial analyst who makes 220k a year look down on him cause he’s a blue-collar plumber!?

WTF.

For the record, the £70,000+ family income feels somewhat comfortable in almost every other city in the UK. And he makes double that, and yet he’s still struggling to date.

Some of these women are nuts, I mean that. They’re obsessed with looking for similarly situated men.

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Danny has economic capital, autonomy, scarce technical skill, ownership, pricing power, practical competence, and a livelihood unusually resistant to technological displacement, yet a single occupational label can still knock points off his perceived rank because modern professional culture has conflated proximity to institutions with personal importance.

Women who rent their prestige from an employer, collect flattering nouns beneath their names, then strut around like Oprah because somebody in HR changed “manager” to “senior manager.”

The world is already full of fools paying retail for symbols. Don’t become one of them

What about men? What do they look for?

“Men, who don’t care if the woman is a barista at Starbucks or if she’s a preschool teacher,” according to Louie Felix, a nearly 23-year veteran of the matchmaking trade, women are more wary of being taken advantage of and tend to desire a partner of similar wealth and stature.

I can’t lie, even at the peak of my game I wasn’t looking to date a woman “for her money”. In fact, I dated a bunch of women who made more than me, and guess who always ended up footing the bill…

To all the women making way over 6 figures a year, good for you. But if you allow how much money you make to knock out 95 percent of the male population as a viable option. You don’t deserve “good man” because you clearly don’t know what one is.

Let me be clear here: I went to Judge Business School and made 6 figures as soon as I graduated. I don’t say that to brag but to illustrate I was smart enough to know that making that much money at 22 was going to disqualify a lot of women. I also had clairvoyance enough to know that how much money I make doesn’t make me a good person.

Imagine that.

In fact, it's how much money anyone makes that has ZERO correlation as to how good a spouse/bf/gf they’ll be. Anyone who buys into that deserves to be lonely.

Income by itself tells you remarkably little about whether somebody will be loyal, affectionate, emotionally intelligent, generous, sexually compatible, honest, or good at conflict.

But money still matters indirectly.

Lower-income couples can face more financial strain, stressful events, and negative communication, and some longitudinal research finds poorer early-marriage outcomes among lower-income couples. (PubMed Central (PMC))

But that’s if you’re BOTH broke. A lot of women simply don’t like the fact they might have the bigger financial bollocks now…

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BUT THAT’S WHAT YOU WANTED!!!!

You can’t have it both ways. Women seem to want to do better for themselves (good for you), but still want men to do better than them by just as much. It can’t be both.

Income can reduce financial stress; it can’t buy loyalty, kindness, emotional intelligence, attraction, or character. Any woman treating a salary like a certificate of relationship quality deserves the disappointment coming with it.

I feel so sorry for the matchmakers of these women; they’re drawing in money. How sad, they’re squeezed from both ends, caught between rising expectations among completely delusional women who somehow believe the “good man” is dead.

These millennial women were lied to. Their job doesn’t love them back; the girlboss’s ride-or-die friends are too busy wiping babies’ shit-stained asses to go to the club. Honestly, it must then be highly demoralizing for these women getting robbed for 100k in dating, then seeing professional disappointment and real family life picking off their peers, who look to marriage and motherhood for the fulfillment they were told a master’s degree and consulting gig might afford them.

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Even some politicians are getting desperate…

Now it’s 2026, and the girlbosses of yore are pushing 40. This month, AOC has faced the wrath of the internet for documenting the invasive and maligned process of freezing her eggs. It was reported that she’d broken up with her partner of more than a decade. Don’t worry, girl! You can use one of these match makers and get finessed out of 100k to marry some rich douchebag with a micro penis.

The good man never died. What slowly died is the character of billions of women completely forgetting what a strong marriage is made of in the first place. Conflating wealth with a man of good character means you’ve pole vaulted over the shark and you stroke your egos so much there ain’t no coming back.

Hey, but don’t worry, ladies. You got plenty of bears you can choose from, eh? ;)

A few days ago someone messaged me about one of my articles.

“All you talk about is communication its lame, dumb, and generic get original.”

I laughed.

Because in that exact moment I understood that the chump hiding behind his dirty smartphone has zero idea how life works and couldn’t find a clue if it was standing there pissing right in his mouth. I very much doubt he’s successful at anything.

Communication is generic the way breathing is generic. Men like this expect fireworks because they have no stomach for hard-to-acquire fundamentals. Mastering them would expose the shell of man he is.

I have watched men with money, muscles, titles, cars, watches, degrees, and enough cologne to fumigate a tenement lose women, jobs, friendships, and opportunities because they communicate like a concussed squealing rat trapped in a filing cabinet.

“Communication is lame?”

Some of the most successful people who have ever lived were the best communicators. That’s usually a huge engine and major drive for their success; they became respected, likable, and listened to because they were insanely charming.

If you’re weak with words, you’ll spend any strength you do have repairing what your mouth broke.

But take success off the table entirely. Let’s just talk about dating.

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Everything else is visible before you arrive

Think about what somebody can assess about you before you’ve said a single word.

How you look.

Your appearance.

They can work out roughly what you earn from a dating app.

They can see your qualifications.

Your education.

Every hobby you’ve listed.

All of that is fine. All of that is real. None of it survives contact with an actual date; it’s all pompous bullshit once you get there. Billions of men do this every day; they have years of building a life that looks exceptional and lose the room in thirty seconds by having nothing worth saying.

Because you can’t very well show up to a first date and lift your shirt to display your six-pack. You can’t sit down and recite your hobbies to her. You can’t open with how much money you make and why you made it.

It’s vapid.

Every bit of it.

Static credentials instantly disintegrate under the raw friction of an active conversation.

The moment two people are sitting across a table from each other, the entire pre-loaded résumé becomes something she already knows. Once you get there, the only arsenal you have is your wits, guile, and communication savvy, and the natural charm you have oozing out that whole in your face.

Men who hide behind their job, their car, their money are weak. Cause they ain’t got nothing else. Look at these two men.

Both of these men could crush me with their wallets. But in the real world, with women of character, they’re useless. They’re losers. Sure, daddy-issued women who want to see this…

Those are the only women they can get. Insecure women who would lick the cheese of their nuts for a Birkin bag. These are no high-quality wife material women.

Like, what the fuck is this outfit?…

I keep trying to tell you all, money can’t “unlame you”. We don’t look at these men and think.

“Wow he bagged a 10”.

We think, how pathetic. YOU’VE COMPROMISED your character so much that despite all your riches you can’t find a woman who wants you for you. You’d rather let lust lead.

A tailored suit cannot hide the stink of a man who traded his character for access to a pretty face. Men who purchase desire eventually pay with their dignity, what’s left of it anyway. So keep your cars, your watches, your bottle service, your ridiculous little peacock parade. None of it matters if you still fold and open your wallet for a pair of fake tits we all got for free.

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The only weapon you’re carrying

On that first date, how charismatic you are. How well you listen. How well you understand. How empathetic you can be. How funny you are.

That’s the list.

That’s the whole list.

The only thing that genuinely connects with a woman is a man who can communicate and do it well, not just with her. With anyone. I teach plenty of other things about how to date and how to meet women, and they work; I wouldn’t teach them otherwise.

But the thing you’ll always have in your hands, in every room, on every date, for the rest of your life, is how you communicate.

Can you make her laugh without tap-dancing for approval? Can you make a stranger feel understood without crawling inside their skin like some needy bastard begging for connection?

Every trick has a shelf life. Every tactic eventually meets a woman who has seen it before. Communication is different. It follows you into every bar, every bedroom, every argument, every negotiation, every funeral, every kitchen at midnight when the lights are low, and somebody finally says what they actually mean. Men who can communicate never enter a room empty-handed. That is the blade you keep when the money gets tight, the looks fade, the suit gets cheap.

When everything else gets stripped off, can your mouth still carry the man?

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The chips will go down

Eventually, in every relationship worth having, things get hard, or you encounter a really hard moment.

If you just throw money in her face as if she’s a stripper to solve problems and it works!? Well, you’ve got bigger issues.

But when you’re trying to solve something. When there’s conflict sitting between you. When the money’s tight, or someone’s grieving, or there are medical or family issues, or you’ve genuinely hurt each other. When it’s not fun anymore.

The master communicator is the one still standing in a solid relationship on the other side of that.

Men who can talk through conflict resolution. Who can talk through hard times. Who can communicate when things are good and when things have gone to hell. That’s the relationship that survives; that’s the man who his wife lusts over, that’s in short.

A FUCKING MAN.

How on God’s green blessed earth could you ever have the balls to call yourself an adult man if the only way you solve problems is by sulking? Or storming away like a petulant child. How can you lead a family if you can’t politely disagree and find mutual ground? How do you expect your wife to consider you the head of the household if you can’t very well talk through or explain solutions? How can you be a good friend if you don’t listen to your buddies’ issues without empathy?

Your abs won’t do that. Your salary won’t do that. Your degree absolutely will not do that.

Being a smart, rich man who can’t communicate makes you a dumbass, mentally poor man. And I’m laughing at you.

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Don’t act like, “You ain’t got no sense”.

Charisma is one of the most important tools you’ll ever hold, and not only with women.

NOT ONLY WITH WOMEN.

If you want to make the world a better place genuinely, not as a slogan, one of the best things you can do is work on your charm. Look outside yourself. Work out how to make the people around you feel better simply by the grace of how you speak to them.

That’s the whole game of life. Realizing you died a man with old wrinkly balls who people remember with fondness every time they spoke to you. Being a man with rich warmth, trust, competence, and humor. Standing for something and being one of one.

Anything is so much less than you were placed on this earth to be.

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So yes, I talk about communication and charm…

Bitch.

You don’t like it? By all means, go fuck yourself. I’d offer directions, but comprehension clearly isn’t your strongest muscle.

For those of you who get it. Do it.

A lot. Constantly. From every angle you can find.

And if you think different variations on learning communication and charm are boring and generic, guess what that makes you?

My granddad had a line for this. I’d go over to his house as a kid and say I’m bored, and he’d say the same thing every time.

You’re bored because you’re boring.

I didn’t understand it for years. Then I grew up, collected some life experience, and noticed that every single time somebody told me they were bored, the diagnosis held.

I haven’t been bored in two decades, because I ain’t boring.

So when someone tells me the subject is generic, that everyone talks about communication and charisma, I know exactly what I’m listening to.

A chickenshit man with as much charm as a $3.00 wooden spoon from Costco.

If you’re dating right now and you’re not trying to master every single motherfucking aspect of communication, being a master flirt, charming the pants off every person you meet, not just women, then you’re a fool. A buffoon. Whatever other insult you’d like to volunteer…

That’s YOU.

Am I generic for talking about communication?

Abso-fucking-lutely.

Join me at any social environment, and I’ll make you look like a goddamn Neanderthal.

Being normal is being invisible.

I think it’s worse than being hated. Hated means you registered. Hated means someone logged you as an issue to track. Invisible means you stood in that room, breathed that air, said your words, the tape recorded nothing, and no one even knows you existed.

I spent 11 years figuring out why, then built a company teaching the answer to 32k men.

Charisma doesn’t get handed out like SSC at birth. Convenient belief. If it’s genetic, its absence isn’t your fault and its presence isn’t your job.

It’s also horseshit, and the proof is standing right in front of you.

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It’s reps

Yeah, that’s right, nothing but good old-fashioned social pull-ups building a social back like the fucking Hulk. Name the most magnetic man you can think of.

When I was growing up, my favorite wrestlers were The Rock and Stone Cold. Why, well look at this shit.

(Bro you just had to be there…)

You might know him as a billionaire Hollywood douchebag now. But believe it or not, despite him being a wrestling nepo baby, he grew up poor. Arrested a few times before he was seventeen.

It gets worse…

Got cut from the CFL, which killed his football career, and went into a depression over it. What you’re watching now got built in front of live WWE crowds, hundreds of times over; in fact, they used to hate this guy in the WWE. They used to say, “Rocky Sucks”

The Rock got booed as Rocky Maivia in front of thousands of people who chanted that he sucked. He kept walking out anyway, and that’s the entire difference between him and you.

All of this sharpened with acting lessons on the way into Hollywood. He rehearsed being that man until there was nothing left to rehearse cause he was on the road 365 days a year performing in front of crowds.

Now you ain’t headlining WrestleMania. But you can get the reps! Don’t buy into the decades-old lie of genetic charisma, the most expensive lie a man can buy, because it costs him every room he’ll ever walk into.

In my first semester at university, I wanted to get used to talking to women I didn’t know, so I would always ask, “Do you know where room 203 is?” Pushing through the same nervousness again and again for months until it became second nature, I started getting numbers, making friends, and eventually I got so cocky I’d be outside that room number and ask. To make it very clear I was indeed hitting on them. We both got a kick out of it tbh.

Asking a stranger where room 203 is costs nothing and builds everything. The men who never ask are paying a much larger compounding social debt that constantly whispers in your head…

• “She’s got a boyfriend”

• “She’ll ignore you”

• “You’re a fat fuck”

• “You’re too short”

• “You’re too broke to date”

Once, a girl who’d ignored me saw me at the local Uni bar, mid-conversation with a group, tapped me on the shoulder to apologize for ignoring me, and explained she was in a rush.

That’s it.

That’s the whole mechanism. Nobody wakes up charismatic. You just accumulate enough evidence for it to stop being an act. Any bloke’s social ceiling is set by his tolerance for being briefly uncomfortable in front of people who’ll forget him in an hour.

Get your fat ass out of the house and start with the very basics of human interaction because when all the chips are down the invisible man and the magnetic man have identical DNA and wildly different attendance records.

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Five types of expert-level charisma

Here’s where most men bail before they’ve started.

They see”charisma” as some booming extrovert dominating a room, laughing loudly, high-fiving, talking shit, and everyone surgically glued to his ass cheeks, and they decide that’s not them, and file the whole subject under not applicable.

Then they go back to being old moldy furniture no one remembers.

There are at least five versions of expert-level charisma, and they look nothing like each other.

Conviction.

Believes what he’s saying as sure as he knows the sun rises every morning. So completely you get dragged along. Prime Mike Tyson calling the exact round he’d knock a man out in. He was certain, so the room went certain; we all fully expected 1-4 round knockouts when we’d see a Mike Tyson fight.

• Authentic. You trust him because you’ve watched him be the same man whether it suited him or not. People smell that instantly.

• Funny. Humor running through everything, so any room improves the second he walks into it. You don’t have to be stand-up funny; just relax and touch the tension without becoming frightened by it. Humor converts social danger into something that amuses you.

• Energetic. All the way committed to the bit whether or not anyone joins him. Think of someone like Chris Rock or Jim Gaffigan.

• Empathetic. Makes you feel so seen you end up telling him things you’ve never said out loud. Think about someone like Joe Rogan who has asked such great questions he’s had someone straight up cry on the podcast cause they’ve never been asked such a profound question before.

They bleed into each other, and yours will be a blend. That’s expert charisma, when one social signal becomes unmistakably yours. Conviction, humor, warmth, energy, or authenticity carried far enough becomes a fingerprint to your very soul.

Two questions will help you find it.

Which men pull you in, and what specifically are they doing? And what came naturally to you as a kid, before the world sanded you down into something polite? What natural proclivities do you have towards the top 5?

Where those overlap is your lane.

Stop trying to be someone else’s type and lean into exactly what makes you…

You.

The overused and boring play of extra politeness can sand the fingerprints off a man. Years spent becoming some agreeable nobody can produce someone perfectly acceptable and strangely impossible to describe and infeasible to remember.

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I love women.

But not your regular garden-variety chick on Instagram or some TikTok zombie spewing out repeated takes she heard from someone else.

But I’ve always been drawn to sophisticated, smart, educated, wise, funny, sexy, and kind women.

One - Cause they’re rare.

Two - Cause unless you date women like that, none of the rest are worth your time.

What makes a truly desirable woman? One you can hand in your singles card and ride off into the sunset together, letting clowns online argue about gender slop among themselves.

Let’s read my completely very biased article from nothing but my own opinions to see, shall we?

I will say, though. If you can find a woman who possesses all of these, wife her up ASAP. Of course, with due diligence and whatnot. But remember these kinds of women are rare. We’ll do a bit of inversion thinking for each trait to make sure you don’t get stuck with an idiot.

The dictionaries define “Desirable” as “worth having or wanting; pleasant, excellent or fine.”

The definition will keep evolving, of course, as society does.

Pew Research Center seems to think there’s a top 3.

1. 35% Physical Attractiveness

2. 30% Empathy/Nurturing/Kindness

3. 22% Intelligence

I think it’s this top 10 I’ve neatly crafted from my own myopic, biased experiences. I might throw some facts in there, what the heck ;)

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1. Looks

Duh.

So let’s start with this.

Poor hygiene. Chronic neglect. A body treated like a landfill. Clothes that leave nothing to the imagination. Hostile body language. A personality that makes five minutes feel like jury duty. You may have limited control over the face genetics handed you, but you have enormous control over how much damage you voluntarily pile on top of it. Women could do with stopping rehearsing the habits that make them harder to desire. That’s a much crueler sentence because it also happens to contain instructions.

No man wants to date someone who looks like they got hit with every stick of the ugly tree.

Or you could pretend that’s not true and get triggered.

Either way, IDGAF.

Go lie to yourself and see where that gets you.

But what kind of looks? A study by the University of Cambridge in 2018 with 12,000 participants found that:

The main pieces of looks covered are these.

1. Eyes 41.6 percent

2. Smile 29.6 percent

3. Bum 12.2 percent (I thought breasts would be higher…)

4. Breasts 9.2 percent

5. Legs 7.4 percent

Let’s go deeper!

• Clear skin

• Shiny hair

• White, straight teeth

• Small waist with larger hips

• Minimal makeup

• Youthfulness

• Facial symmetry

This information is readily available, and to be honest, it shouldn’t take a fucking study for anyone to figure this out, especially any human being with a cock and balls.

Groundbreaking research reveals that bears do indeed prefer forests for their bathroom breaks. Are you that guy?

Why do people find physical attractiveness so important?

Men find physically more attractive women as sexually warm, mentally healthy, intelligent, and socially skilled than are physically less attractive women. (Eagly, Ashmore, Makhijani, & Longo, 1991)

Attractive people are given better grades on essay exams, are more successful in job interviews, and receive lighter sentences in court judgments in comparison with their less attractive counterparts. Kinda fucked up, but men like attractive women. (Hosoda, Stone-Romero, & Coats, 2003)

You can cry about it, or try to take care of yourself and work with what you have. I’m bald, and I’ve been shaving my head since I was 20. If I can bag, so can you.

Here are some solutions you women most likely won’t take seriously…

1. Always look your best in clothing.

2. Eat healthy and work out.

3. Work on your personality. You might look good, but do people actually like you?

4. Brush your teeth.

5. Work on your body language.

6. Consider a new hairstyle.

7. Fashion Tips

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2. Kindness

Imagine that; try being a kind person every now and then. “Bare minimum” as you parroted lemmings like to say online?

Men should ask who she becomes when kindness buys her absolutely nothing. Anybody can manufacture sweetness while attraction is new, sex is exciting, dinners are being planned, and there is still something to win.

Watch her speak about the ex who can no longer reward her. Watch what happens when somebody misunderstands her, inconveniences her, tells her no, gets an order wrong, needs patience, or simply occupies space without being useful. That is where character comes out of hiding.

Women who reserve compassion for people they desire, admire, fear, or need have discovered customer service. They wouldn’t know kindness if it shit on their heads.

So quit studying how warmly she holds your hand across a candlelit table. Watch what she does when somebody spills water on the tablecloth.

Science says that the keys to a long and happy relationship are kindness and generosity.

Psychologist John Gottmann of the University of Washington started his research on married couples over four decades ago. He identified two kinds of couples…

Masters and Disasters.

The disasters, you guessed it, break it off in the first six years of the relationship.

But the masters stay together for a long time and always have this one thing in common.

They are scanning the social environment for things they can appreciate and say they’re thankful for. They are building this culture of respect and appreciation very purposefully.

Nothing sexy, romantic, or financially incentivized. Just old-fashioned respect. That’s why so many miserable people online are lonely. They lack the most basic prerequisite and the most powerful fundamental that every human neglects.

Character.

Being a kind and nice woman goes a long way. Yet so many can’t fathom a nice thing to say or project. It works both ways, too. I see so many women say they support women and champion women. That’s great! So do I.

But when it comes to men, they treat them as a monolith and put them all in one bucket whilst playing these weird gender war hypotheticals in their heads.

Kindness must be given to EVERYONE.

It’s also very basic. If you can’t master a bit of kindness, you’re in for a rough time. Kindness is the oil that reduces the friction of life’s engine; without it, the gears grind painfully. Be nice to people. Keep a smile on your face, and know that you’re going to be approached by some creepers in your life. Understandable and fucking annoying. But that doesn’t mean you have to be an ass to every guy who comes up with genuine interest. Being hostile to every approach because of a few creeps is like throwing out the entire playlist because of one bad song; you deny yourself the melody of potential harmonies.

Men want a woman who can brighten their day by brightening the lives of everyone they come into contact with.

3. Intelligence

Despite what the echo chamber dummies of Substack/Tiktok/IG like to say. No, men are not scared of intelligent women or turned off by wise and smart women.

We actually naturally gravitate towards them.

What do we call it when a woman mistakes being exhausting for being smart?

Intelligence doesn’t require correcting everybody’s vocabulary, turning dinner into a debate tournament, treating disagreement like evidence of stupidity, reciting credentials as personality, or wielding sarcasm like a $5000 cattle prod against anyone who failed to read the same twelve books.

A sharp mind without curiosity becomes a locked room. Plenty of people who call themselves “intimidating” are simply exhausting, and blaming other people’s insecurity protects them from discovering that they fucking suck and we’d rather walk off a cliff than keep talking to them.

The smartest person at the table rarely needs the table to know it.

If men repeatedly enjoy talking to intelligent women yet repeatedly avoid talking to you, intelligence may have absolutely fuck-all to do with the pattern. Sometimes “men are intimidated by me” is the most flattering explanation available for “people experience me as unpleasant.”

So invert the question. Quit asking whether your intelligence scares men away and ask whether being around you makes intelligent men want to stay.

You could just be an insufferable sociopath.

Yeah, I didn’t fucking stutter when I typed that.

I love women who understand the world and its people. Women who love deep conversation. Intelligence generally comes with passion, and displaying that passion for the world to see is always sexy. Common and practical sense is usually more than enough. A woman who is witty, educated, thoughtful, and can hold her own in any conversation.

A woman who likes to ponder life’s deep questions, who will sit with me under the stars and talk all night about the mysteries of the universe. I’m all about women who can navigate a conversation like a pro surfer rides a wave with style, depth, and the ability to handle any philosophical wipeouts.

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4. Listen

Now let me be clear here…

I’m not saying that you should just listen to him and not express yourself. That’s ridiculous.

But what I’m saying is that most people are very insecure within themselves.

They may not show it; we are now in the era of fake pretentious douchebags, after all. They may hide it with bravado. More often than not, their biggest insecurity tends to come from the belief that nobody recognizes them for the person they are and the value and accomplishments they bring.

What is the best way to make a man feel needed and wanted?

Listen to him. And I mean genuinely listen without pre-planning what you’re going to say to him.

And you know what happens when he recognizes that you’re actually listening to him?

He’ll trust you and open up to you.

And opening up to you will be the best thing possible for your relationship.

Some guys will bond with anyone with whom they feel they can share anything.

Expressing himself is how a guy bonds with you. He’ll notice that you’re really listening to him and that you’re engaging about things that he cares about.

And it gives him a chance to drop the bravado mask that he uses to hide from the world.

They will let you talk, make you feel wanted, hear you with compassion, and show genuineness in their interactions. They know how important it is to be a good communicator, and they also know what it takes to be one.

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5. Humor

Everybody loves being around someone who can tell a joke. And men are no different.

In fact, research has found that men like women who laugh at their jokes and can make them laugh, too.

Does this mean you need to start telling witty jokes?

Not at all.

It’s more about having a good time and joking around. Having fun. Not taking yourself so fucking seriously. Jesus, I remeber some first dates I was on; these women sounded like they were at work and were in a job interview with no levity. Just so serious and fucking up tight.

And if you can laugh with him and share a fun vibe together, he’ll absolutely love spending time with you.

There’s no way around it.

Spending time with you will be fun, positive, and exciting.

So make sure you laugh at his jokes, and most importantly, don’t be a fun vampire who sucks the energy out of every room you go into.

Now, if you like telling jokes yourself, here’s an important tip.

Don’t tell jokes that make fun of him. Some guys are a lot more sensitive than you realize.

So if you can help it, try not to make jokes by teasing him. You might have the opposite effect of turning him off.

You want to make him laugh, not reduce his self-confidence.

One of the most important things in any relationship, romantic or otherwise, is the ability to have a great time and have a good laugh. Taking care of one’s emotional hygiene and good mood should be a priority. Only then can you take life positively, lightly, and with a fair dose of humor.

The priceless value of cheerfulness costs nothing. Instead of being easily offended or mired down in despair, they seek out the positives in tough situations.

Men like a woman who is playful. There’s no doubt.

Nobody wants to be with someone who is extremely serious 24/7. That can get a little tiring and uncomfortable.

It’s time to bring out that laid-back, playful, and fun side to you. Don’t be afraid of what other people think of you.

Laugh at yourself, make jokes, laugh at him, and enjoy your time together.

Most men are attracted to a more youthful woman, but this doesn’t mean youthfulness based on age. It means youthfulness based on attitude.

Furthermore, it’s not just about having more fun but making him feel comfortable and calm with you.

Isn’t it more relaxing to hang around someone who doesn’t take everything so damn seriously?

I think it is. And he will, too.

Don’t worry if you think you’re no fun. It’s just an attitude quality you need to focus on bringing out more.

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6. Graceful

Women who understand and take pride in their womanhood are the ones who know that grace and elegance are not qualities you compromise with. It’s not about their appearance but their aura. What makes them highly desirable is that they don’t worry about their physical shortcomings. They fix what they can and carry themselves with elegance and charm that only a lady can possess. For her, elegance is an eternal dance, not a fleeting fashion; she moves through life with the grace of a swan, leaving ripples of admiration in her wake.

They dress well and know how to exude confidence. What makes this all the easier is that desirable women know that grace does not come with expensive fashion choices. It comes with self-confidence.

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7. Feminine

Let’s not beat around the bush.

Women tend to like strong and alpha males. Or what other word salad they’ll spin to not say the term “alpha male.” But essentially, he is an independent string string-willed man who beats to the sound of his own drum. As we architect a world of shared power, the shadow of ancient yearnings for strength and leadership quietly looms.

In the same vein, men like feminine and sexy females.

While men love the soft and caring nature of a feminine woman, they also love her power.

Confused?

Don’t be.

You see, in today’s society, our definition of femininity is a little fuzzy.

For some reason, most people believe that if you’re an overly feminine woman, you’re simply passive and a pushover.

But this completely misses the mark.

Feminity is also about being sexy. It’s about owning your sexual power.

You know the type of woman I’m talking about:

Walking confidently in high heels with her shoulders back and chin up.

Everyone can’t help but stare. Males are attracted to her powerful sexual energy. Some other women may envy her confidence.

And she knows how to use this energy to flirt with any man she desires.

This is why a lot of people like Beyoncé. Her sex appeal radiates through her confidence and power.

Desirable women have both sensuality and warmth; they don’t have a problem attracting quality men. They are able to stir up passion in the bedroom with her flirtatious looks, smile, and eyes, which makes men feel that they are desirable when it comes to being compassionate and caring.

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8. Support

Guys are looking for a girl who can back them up — who he knows supports him and where he is going in life.

That doesn’t mean that you don’t have goals.

In fact, it’s paramount that you do.

Why?

Because he wants to support you as well.

If you can show him that you’ll support him through life and all its ups and downs, then he is going to fall for you. And not just fall for you but to commit to you over the long haul.

I really care too much about how women are with me through the good times. That’s a given. But how does she respond when you need her? When things are shit, and the end doesn’t seem like it’s in sight? This is where you need to take note of how much support she gives you.

For a long time, scientists tried to prove that men prefer to marry weak women. In her book „Why smart men marry smart women, “Christine C. Whelan thoroughly debunks this myth and proves with statistics that successful, well-educated, and high-earning women do not marry less often than others.

This is why when women keep moaning about how “I’m single cause I’m too successful and well educated.” That just simply isn’t true.

And remember the advantages: A strong woman by your side will motivate you and won’t be dependent on you. You don’t need to worry about her, and she won’t need your constant validation.

A weak person often tends to forget his or her own goals. These people don’t just prioritize the goals of their partners; they tend to co-opt them completely. This has been shown by a study by the University of British Columbia. You need a healthy combination of personal goals and goals you pursue together.

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9. They’re Honest

Honesty is one of the most important traits of highly desirable women. Being honest about their feelings, their insecurities, their wants, their likes and dislikes is crucial to establishing a deep relationship with their men.

Dishonest women are so insufferable, especially when they can’t just be honest with their expectations or what they truly want. A woman who can be articulate and express her emotions with honesty and virtue is the one that men marry.

It’s impossible to build a lasting, committed relationship with a woman who cannot be trusted. Deceit and falsehood are obstacles to happiness. The hardest parts of monogamy only get infinitely harder with a fucking liar who can’t even be honest with herself, let alone you.

Never date someone like that. It only gets worse.

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10. Their smile.

Researchers found yellower, more uneven teeth were perceived as less attractive. But don’t go binge-scheduling teeth-whitening sessions just yet; the study also found that brilliantly white smiles were judged as no more attractive than naturally white smiles.

It’s no great revelation that a winning smile can attract a man, but women who are going to employ this tactic might be surprised to learn that their smile has to be a big one. Specifically, you need to bare those teeth.

But it’s not just men who are attracted to women with a toothy grin — women also said that they place a high importance on teeth. MarketTools Inc. conducted an online survey of 5,481 for Match.com (via USA Today). Both men and women said that the first thing they notice in a potential love interest is their teeth, followed by their grammar.

Since teeth are the result of both genetics and environmental factors, getting a peek into someone’s mouth can give you an idea of their general health. In women, this is linked to their reproductive value. Healthy teeth indicate a healthy person who is capable of childbearing, which explains — at least from a biological standpoint — why teeth play such a major role in human attraction.

Your beautiful white teeth are a sign of health and good genetics. Some people even associate white teeth with being of a higher status, which is deemed more attractive. Poverty, illness, and disease can all cause yellow teeth, and none of those qualities are associated with attractiveness.

Luckily, those of us with yellow teeth can easily whiten them by booking an appointment for professional teeth whitening with a reputable company. Whitening your teeth will lead to you smiling more, and a smile is another incredibly attractive quality. A woman’s smile sends a man cues that she is agreeable in nature, positive, and approachable. However, a beautiful smile without matching beautiful teeth won’t have the same effect.

A study done by the people at Match Group showed that the most important trait people look for on a first date is teeth. Out of the 5,500 single adults over 21, 60% of men and 71% of women claimed they care most about teeth for a potential date. Other studies have even suggested a nice smile can lead to success in other areas, like your career.

Please don’t be triggered. I know some women might be used to the street lizards asking them to smile. I’m not saying you should smile or even give these cretins the time of day, but I’m meaning for men you’re actually attracted to.

Bonus

Down To Earth (Genuine)

I can appreciate ambition; I love a woman who has her life in order like most adults should. I get the importance of dreaming big, being career-oriented, and all that jazz. But at the end of the day, I want a woman who savors the little things — a woman who knows what’s really important in life — family, friendship, love, and connection. Everything else is just kind of white noise to me. Real, sincere human connections are the pieces of life that add the best kind of fulfillment.

Women who are practical and not lost in the fake reality of whimsical rom-coms.

A down-to-earth woman who has no patience for pretense is a great woman. She’s humble and grounded and doesn’t waste her time and energy chasing after symbols of wealth or status. She’s just as happy eating s’mores around a campfire as she is going out to a five-star restaurant.

She is centered and present and easy to be around. That’s the kind of woman a man wants to settle down with. She might be with you when you’re spending the dollars and planning extravagant and exciting dates. But what happens if you lose it all? What happens if you’re both in a tight situation?

Fellas, these things matter, and high-maintenance women will not stick around for reality cause they typically don’t live it.

Another day, another modern feminist trying to have her cake and eat it. Where a woman is simultaneously a victim and empowered until something happens, then she chooses which state benefits her the most.

This time it revolves around scamming a man to pay for her Uber on a first date!?

Meanwhile, for the first time EVER, women hold slightly more total U.S. payroll jobs than men (50.1% to 49.9%), marking only the third time in history this has happened and the first time outside of an economic recession.

More women graduate from college than men. In the United States, women currently earn roughly 58% of all bachelor’s degrees.

In fact, women in general are doing great!

And yet here they are, a result of what a lot of them do best. Digitally panhandling and crying online about how men should chauffeur them around with entitlement higher than a penthouse balcony on the fucking Burj Khalifa.

Arguing online about if a man should or shouldn’t send an Uber to pick up a woman for their first date.

I’d genuinely love to get into a woman’s cerebral hemisphere and dig around. Where the fuck does this such a large level of unbridled privilege come from? This is the result of encountering endless online rhetoric telling them that accepting anything less than extravagant pursuit means they lack standards.

They’ve been flapping those dry and crusty gums on Reddit threads and Twitter posts for years now; it’s the obligatory rage-baiter post, but after a few minutes of reading the comments you realize there’s a large amount of women who seem to think this should be the norm.

In a recent viral screenshot, a girl asks her Hinge match to send her an Uber to get to the restaurant for their first date. The man (thank god) responds that he won’t, but he would send her one after the date is over. (Ugh he was so close to having balls)

Imagine inviting a woman to dinner on a first date, like a sucker, I might add. And despite her broke ass getting a free meal, she has the nerve to ask for an Uber?

Now a “dating coach,” A female dating coach for me no less. (Oh, boy) Piped up and said this…

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“She’s entitled to whatever expectations of men she wants”

But when the guy has any expectations, he’s “abrasive and weird”. The double standard with men is always hilarious to me.

At least she knew the lady was entitled no matter what the outcome. But cringey is too polite; it’s cheap, poverty behavior, and shows she doesn’t understand the basic notion of reciprocity.

I’m inviting you out to dinner. I plan on paying. I’ve made the effort to ask you out and plan the date, and instead of just showing, which is all you had to do, you asked for more!? It’s Le Mercerie; we’ve been there a few times. It’s a great restaurant, and she wanted to try and bleed him. Maybe she could sense he was a sucker.

This dumb motherfucker still wanted to meet her!?

Fellas. No bra size is ever worth this hassle. Trust me when I say there will always be kinder, nicer, more reciprocal women in this world. To be fair he probably should have ordered the Uber but sent it to his apartment. Pretty clear what kind of arrangement she’s looking for.

Besides, Manhattan is one of the most walkable urban spaces in America and she demands an Uber? This is a signal she might be lazy fat-ass tbh.

What did people say?

But apparently there’s a rise in broke bitches…

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NEVER SEND A GIRL AN UBER WHO YOU DON’T KNOW.

Would she do the same for you?

Fuck no.

The dude was nice enough to say no to one request while offering another accommodation, and somehow the evening has already acquired the emotional atmosphere of a labor dispute.

Fellas, these financial leeches keep making themselves known and ya’ll keep going for it.

The Uber is almost irrelevant. Twenty dollars, forty dollars, sixty dollars, who cares.

She sees transportation as part of the courtship package. Men should see getting herself to a restaurant as the responsibility of another adult. Her preference is certifiable. There should not be a single moral expectation from anyone on a first date other than you both showing up, and yet somehow most single people can’t even make it to first date cause they can’t pull their head out their fat ass for 1 minute to know that they’re not the center of the universe.

His “No, I won’t” certainly has all the warmth of a parking ticket.

Good.

He should have left it there instead of trying to barter with a woman with the critical thinking skills of a loaf of bread.

You can possess a spine without swinging it through the restaurant like a medieval weapon. But I say fuck it, sometimes the medieval axe puts a bit more hair on your chest as you’re comfortable rejecting such a brazen request with the impudence of her ask.

How have people fucked up dating when it was already fucked up?

How have we taken gestures that once emerged organically from affection and converted them into entrance examinations? Who texted first? Who paid? Did he order the car? Did she offer to split? How long before he responded? Did she say thank you enthusiastically enough? Does he make reservations? Did she sleep with somebody faster in 2019?

But stories like this reach far beyond dating. Watch people after you refuse something small.

There is your character test.

A request denied strips away the ceremonial politeness and shows you how somebody handles another human being possessing an independent will.

You learn more about someone from the first denied request than from three expensive dinners.

That is why I would pay attention here.

Dating is nothing more than information gathering. Everybody wants chemistry because chemistry feels wonderful, romantic, and just like the movies. But character is what you should be sold on.

There’s something quietly dehumanizing about treating the opening stages of dating as a series of demonstrations that men must pass. Send the car. Book the restaurant. Pay the bill. Perform masculinity correctly. Men become bundles of expected services.

So I would not look at this screenshot and conclude that women are unbearable.

Too easy, and easy explanations usually make men stupid. Marriage eventually brings illness, money problems, crying babies, exhausted mornings, dying parents, job losses, mortgages, sex droughts, mistakes, resentment, and thousands of ordinary disappointments nobody photographs. You will spend years hearing “no,” “I can’t,” “I’m tired,” “we can’t afford that,” and “I disagree.”

A relationship built by people who interpret every denied preference as disrespect is a house with dynamite poured into the foundation. So all of the above is a very clear sign this woman is a modern day social media influenced bozo.

They did it, Joe.

They ruined dating.

All because they got ghosted and all decided to go for the exact same type of guy.

Hail hath no fury as a woman scorned.

So much so, a male technocrat douchebag was smart enough to grift off of this and create a platform. Women lapped it up in droves cause men simply got better at playing the game than they did.

But Mav, it’s to protect women. (We’ll get to that later)

Sure, it is. Safety cooked up by the same chef who burns water.

I don’t deny the reality of female safety concerns, which is 100% important with all the other apps that VERIFY background checks, safety precautions, reverse image searches, and, of course, criminal records, where you can verify and pay for knowing the man/woman is who they say they are.

There are websites and apps like Garbo, RealMe, Nomi, and Social Catfish. These are great systems to protect women and have been proven to work.

I WANT WOMEN TO BE PROTECTED. As we all do.

So why are women signing up for the Tea App in droves despite all the above being available?…

THE TEA APP.

TEA.

The colloquial term for gossip.

Are you getting the message yet?

You see, the apps and safety tools I mentioned earlier that are actually about a woman’s safety don’t spread unverifiable rumors about men.

It’s insanely dangerous because anonymous accusations remove one of civilization’s oldest brakes, having to look a person in the face afterward. Research on online disinhibition repeatedly links anonymity and reduced accountability with more hostile online behavior.

The Tea App ain’t about safety. It’s about nothing but cheap, tired gossip spread by women trying to “get their lick back”.

The ugliest safety product is one that creates a second victim while protecting the first.

Tea App, founded in 2023 by Silicon Valley developer Sean Cook, went viral a few months ago after more than one million women signed up in the past week.

Once verified, users can post photos of men, mainly scraped from dating profiles, and demand “the tea”, or gossip, about them from other female users, sometimes before they’ve met him or worse, before they’ve even sent them the first message!

A place where hurt and ignored women can … tell an unverified one-sided story about men and damage their name without any context or proof; effectively creating a future destroyed by “surveillance by our peers”.

Surveillance dating. That’s what’s happened.

Honestly, man, I’d rather deep-throat a dry extra prickly cactus in a bouncy castle full of my exes than have my entire romantic history reviewed by a panel of women named ‘TraumaBabe93’.”

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Why the Tea App is PURE trash.

They could have had it be background checks, searched criminal records, and checked for criminal history with a better UI.

But they allowed it to be a tawdry gossip train.

They allowed it to be a group where men aren’t allowed in. They made it anonymous and added red and green flag icons and gamified males without their consent, and these men had no idea they were even being criticized by a group of women.

Tea exploits women’s fear to justify public shaming, but the data doesn’t back the fear. It never does.

Society is already polarized by gender slop and brain-rotting culture wars; the Tea App was almost inevitable. And while its defenders argue it’s a tool for safety, as soon as most of us heard of it, we knew it would only function more as a digital whisper network laced with confirmation bias.

None of which is remotely objective.

The real danger is cultural blindness to unintended consequences. It’s a recurring pattern. Facebook wanted to connect us. Google aimed to democratize knowledge. AI was meant to simplify work. But tools built on good intentions can and often do get hijacked by bad actors.

Like all the above have.

You can’t build digital ecosystems on trust and then look away when that trust is exploited. Especially when real lives, reputations, and relationships are on the line.

The road to ruin is paved with unexamined applause. The same way the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

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1. “The App Was Made To Protect WOMEN!”

Let’s talk about it.

What are the actual odds of women being attacked on a first date?

No large-scale study suggests that first-date violence is statistically common.

Here’s what we do know...

• According to the CDC’s 2022 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey:
  Most intimate partner violence occurs in ongoing relationships, not during initial meetings or first dates. The majority of physical/sexual violence against women is committed by a current or former partner, not a stranger or new date.

• According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics: Less than 1.4% of violent crimes against women are committed by strangers on first-time encounters (source: NCVS, 2019).

• You are more likely to die slipping in your bathroom (odds: 1 in 3,000 annually) than be assaulted by a man you met for a date (odds: fewer than 1 in 100,000).

“Stranger danger” is a cultural myth exaggerated by the media, not the statistical reality of most violence against women. And to be clear for some of you morons who refuse to think or read critically, I’m not trying to diminish or denigrate any experiences of assault, physical abuse, or murder of women, at all. Again, most men HATE AND DO NOT SUPPORT VIOLENCE OR ASSAULT OF WOMEN. I just want to be a little grounded in reality and not be part of polarizing fear-mongering.

And yet so many women will randomly post a man they haven’t even fucking met! They’re just talking to him on a dating app. To find out “The Tea”.

***PAUSE***

How can you not see the actual fucking insanity with this?

A random woman you haven’t even met has chosen to screenshot your photo without your consent, taken the time to join an app that needs your ID and photo to join, and posted on an app with millions of women to ask “what’s the tea”. On top of that, she’s willing to believe a total anonymous stranger- no background on them, no knowledge of who they are, no context, but a complete stranger over a man with a face, a voice, a human being, all because she’s not sure.

Think about that for a second.

Men are no longer human; they’re potential scandals with a face, waiting to be mined for content. These women shouldn’t be dating.

What’s funny is if a woman said to me, “Can I have your full name to run a background check?.”

I’d give it to her, cause I have nothing to hide. But I wouldn’t date her.

It’s the principle.

And most of you don’t get that cause you ain’t got any principles to begin with.

That mindset tells me the relationship is already starting twelve yards behind the line of scrimmage. She has outsourced judgment to strangers, suspicion to software, and instinct to a searchable file cabinet. Now I have to climb out of a hole I never dug before I get the privilege of being treated like an individual. Charming.

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2. The Tea App isn’t about safety.

It’s not called “the womans safety app”; it’s called Tea for a reason.

Women can’t police rude men, you can’t police a man asserting his boundaries, it’s not against the law to ghost, it’s not against the law to have consensual sex and then have the man change his mind, that’s the moral price you pay when you choose to have sex with anyone, they had no control over the outcome and that pisses woman off cause up until that point women had so much control over the inital stages of dating.

So they joined a digital guillotine where feelings are facts and accusations need no trial.

Control theater.

Because of these women, love goes through an HR process. Romance is audited like a tax return. Every man is pre-scanned like airport luggage, and dating is a compliance department.

Does this sound like a good experience to any man?

The joke’s on them. The more you try to algorithm your way out of heartbreak, the more you suffocate the very thing you’re trying to find.

You’ll still get hurt.

You’ll still be betrayed.

Love, dating, and all the rest are very much about heartbreak, being let down, being left on read, having someone not claim to be who they say they are. Cause that’s how you learn about what you do want, who you’re more compatible with, and who you ultimately should be with.

You can build a fortress around your heart, but don’t come online crying when it feels like a prison.

Phrases Like..

• “Never married ✍️”

• “He’s never been to jail 😊”

• “Nonexistent record, proceed 💜”

I know you’re not all this fucking dense; this breeds a really dangerous binary thinking. If he has no record, he’s a “green flag.” If he’s been accused, he’s a threat. But real predators can pass background checks. And kind men can be unfairly smeared.

You know who also was…

• Never married

• Never been to jail

• No criminal record at the time of the offense

I’ll help you out here. Before they all got caught

• Ted Bundy

• Jeffrey Dahmer

• Israel Keyes

• Rodney Alcala

Yeah, all serial killers. If not being married, never having been to jail, and no criminal record is your barrier for a green flag, maybe you shouldn’t date?

The bar is in fucking hell.

Moral nuance doesn’t fit in dropdowns.

Red flags ain’t always red.

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3. So what actually does happen on first dates?

Are most of these women being raped, assaulted, or murdered?

Most bad dates involve awkwardness, ghosting, or miscommunication, not murder.

• Political disagreements, conflicts of interest, rude people, nice people, assholes, and negative experiences.

• Yet apps like Tea conflate rude behavior with predation, and turn cringe into criminality.

• The biggest danger is Social mislabeling becoming more damaging than any “protection” it offers.

You can’t police men’s behavior, especially cause one woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure. What one labels a horrible man! The other could be labeled as her kind of guy.

This is about nothing more than a woman’s bruised ego; this is about women not wanting to take an L. Finally realizing that they are not the center of the universe; sometimes to certain men you’re just an option.

THIS IS ABOUT WOMEN who want to go through dating emotionally unscathed and want answers to everything before anything even happens.

That’s not how life works.

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4. What’s more dangerous than a first date?

Let that sink in.

You are more likely to

• Be killed by a deer than a man on a first date.

• Die walking your dog than meeting someone from Hinge.

• Be hospitalized from a TikTok challenge rather than from male violence after dinner.

The Tea App doesn’t protect women. It rewards paranoia and bitter women who like to gossip.

• It turns private conversations into public executions.

• It weaponizes fear to justify reputation-destroying gossip.

• It teaches women to seek clout over clarity, revenge over reason.

“Just because you felt unsafe doesn’t mean he was unsafe.”

And posting someone’s face, name, or messages anonymously because they smashed and dashed, or they were awkward or clumsy, is a digital lynching without due process.

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5. The Tea App Is Unethical as Fuck.

Tea allows anonymous users ( exclusively women) to upload screenshots of private conversations and publicly critique men, without context, consent, or recourse. There is no way to justify rancid vigilante humiliation theater.

You’re not reviewing a restaurant. You’re reviewing a god damn human being, in front of a mob, without a fair trial.

Even Yelp lets the business respond. Tea doesn’t.

Oooh, he ghosted you and was sleeping with another woman. Boo hoo, you went on a few dates, a few of which he most likely paid for. Women have had male rotations for decades. I’m not co-signing either gender; I think sometimes you’re both dirty little deviants, but why are we acting like men are the only gender that sleeps around?

Just wait, just wait, when the male equivalent comes out. The only difference will be that men will be honest and say, “It’s about gossip”. And you’ll find that women are just as sexually deviant as men.

Modern dating is a duel of egos in disguise, both sides armed, neither side honest about the rules. And sex? Sex has become the handshake of cowards, no promise, no purpose, just the illusion of connection without the cost of commitment.

But you bitter bitches want to ruin a man’s career, livelihood, and reputation cause he could take you or leave you?

So weird. Equal opportunity doesn’t mean selective accountability.

Anonymity without accountability is a weak-ass cop-out, and I hate people who can’t say things with their chest. If you can’t own what you declare to be true, you shouldn’t have the right to say it.

The posters are anonymous.

The men are not.

Does that seem like a fair playing field?

I find that shit so fucking cowardly. You have the balls to run your mouth behind a phone screen, but don’t have the courage to actually have a conversation with the man you’re dating.

If you don’t have the emotional capacity to date like an adult. You don’t deserve to date.

The women who use the Tea App are waging asymmetrical warfare, breeding a dynamic where one gender gets to judge, shame, and brand reputations… and the other gets no defense, no rebuttal, and often not even notification that they’re being publicly humiliated.

But that’s modern women; they want to have their cake and eat it.

As if dating isn’t one-sided and made to benefit women already, now you’ve added this to the mix?

• Women Are the Selectors, Men Are the Performers

• Social Media as a Backup Dating Pool

• Free Attention Economy

• Minimal Effort, Maximum Options

• Financial Double Standards

• Sexual Access Without Relationship Accountability

• False Allegations Carry No Cost

• Women get 100+ matches/week

• Men get 2-3 matches/month

• Emotional Double Standards

• Exit Strategy Always Ready

• Men swipe right 16,000+ times on average

• Women swipe right just 2,200 times

• Average male match rate 2.63%

• Average female match rate: 30.7%

  • Women are 11-15x more likely to get matches.

• The Tea App

And they want more things to go in their favor.

Fuck off.

Some women will never be happy until they have complete and utter control over the outcome of any dating scenario. This is what comes down to. Control and power.

The Tea app sets alerts for names. And monitors if someone posts about your date. So the person you’re dating, who you haven’t even met or potentially want to date, has zero trust in you, so much so that these women are getting alerts to search for flaws, mistrust by default, and operating from fear. It also allows people to track exes, stalk matches, or sabotage rivals all under the guise of “safety.”

Ya’ll.

YA’LL.

C’mon man. This is insanity personified.

The Tea app is not a safety tool; it’s a digital burn book with the obligatory promotion of girl boss feminism.

How the absolute fuck can no one see this!?

Promoting paranoia, public shaming, and groupthink.

It fails the ethical test of accountability, fairness, and actual safety. I’m beginning to doubt the efficacy of the sex-verification tool at all.

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6. “We’re calling out men’s bad behavior.”

Ohhh, bad behavior. Which is what exactly?

Is there a definition in the app as to what constitutes bad male dating behavior?

If someone says,

“He was manipulative,” What do they mean?

• That he lied?

• That he changed his mind?

• Coercion?

• That he didn’t give them what they expected?

Without specifics, it’s impossible to verify. But it still feels like a moral violation, so people who read a post like that believe it cause they couldn’t form their own individual thought or opinion if their life depended on it.

“Bad bheavior” is so subjective.

“I paid for the date and she didn’t even say thank you”.

Is that bad behavior? Maybe to me, but not to someone else. This is the cheap ploy of moral language that is often used to disguise personal disappointment.

Let’s be honest…

“He ghosted me after we slept together” becomes “He used me.”

“She dated other guys while we were casually seeing each other” becomes “She’s a liar.”

It’s easier to label someone as toxic, manipulative, or narcissistic than to admit…

“I ignored red flags. I projected fantasies. I got hurt.”

The accusation feels better than accountability. There’s no standard definition for “bad behavior” in dating. Is it bad behavior to ghost someone after one date? Is it bad behavior to not disclose that you’re dating multiple people? Is it bad behavior to not “text good morning” every day?

People have wildly different expectations, especially in dating.

So when they say,

“I’m just calling out bad behavior…”

What they really mean is…

“I didn’t get what I wanted, and I need to frame it as a moral wrong to feel justified.”

7 . Women Loooooove Performative Morality

It’s almost all that most of them ever seem to do on social media these days. Tea App users get clout for calling men “toxic,” “creepy,” or “narcissistic” even if those labels are wildly misused. It incentivizes women to turn private interactions into public castrations.

Just look at these screenshots from women talking about the app. Look at the sheer joy in their faces in discussing the male users and how they can’t stop using it.

Some of these women really think they’re better than men just cause they’re women, as if they’re morally superior and have never slept around, led multiple men on, and have ethical issues that pertain to how they treat men in their dating life.

8. Real Conversation Is Now Dead

Human beings already struggle with having the balls and gumption to be honest with each other when it comes to dating. Now, when dating turns into social surveillance, men will become bigger actors than they already are, not partners.

Men will be extra nice, not cause they are, but they don’t want your stupid ass to put them on the tea app just cause he told you he’s not interested.

Men will default to saying what’s “safe,” not what’s true. Women have inadvertently created the opposite effect of what they want. Keep in mind, as men, we already pacify the whole process for women, so we don’t hurt their feelings, so now you’re entering a deeper hole of disingenuous interactions within the realm of dating women.

We already have a problem with disingenuous men; men will now guard their tone of text like it’s a legal deposition. The Women who use the Tea App have now turned intimacy into censorship.

9. Let’s go back to why the Tea App and AWDTSG Bullshit.

Where it all began.

Let’s collectively use our brains for 60 seconds.

What Are the Real Odds of a Legit Predator Being Exposed?

Cause that’s justification for leaking private data, information, and lies about men, right? Under the guise of protecting women?

Let’s assume

• The Tea app and similar gossip groups have access to millions of women across platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

• There are roughly 50 million active online daters in the U.S.

• Of that, women initiate Tea posts, often about men they’ve matched with, messaged, or met once. (Good job saving women from meeting a “mean guy”)

🔍 Now, let’s go back and look at the actual data

According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics

• Less than 1.4% of all violent crimes against women are committed by strangers in first-time encounters (NCVS 2019).

• CDC data (2022) - Most sexual or physical assaults occur in ongoing relationships, not first dates or with strangers.

• Criminology consensus - Roughly 3–5% of men in the general population will be convicted of a violent felony in their lifetime, and that’s over decades, not on dating apps, not on first dates, and certainly not through one chat on Hinge.

Let’s Run the Numbers

Say there are

• 100,000 male profiles actively posted or discussed on Tea-style apps over the course of a year.

Using the 1.4% stat

• Only ~1,400 of those men (max) statistically might be involved in any kind of violent act against a woman, and most of those wouldn’t be first dates.

Using more realistic odds (~1 in 100,000 of first-date assault):

• The number drops to literally 1 man per 100,000 posted about.

That means

For every one actual violent offender, there are 99,999 men being speculated on, misrepresented, or publicly embarrassed for nothing more than bad texting, not being her type, or ghosting, multiple sexual partners, and all the rest that some shitty men do.

And you have the audacity to lie outside your teeth and say, “It’s only about protecting women.”

Get the fuck outta here.

🤯 So What’s the Actual Ratio?

Tea Apps and their clones are simply amplifying ego injuries. That’s all.
They’re giving women a dopamine hit of control, clarity, and vengeance. That’s all it’s about; if that were not the case, it would be accessible to the public. And they’re branding average, flawed men as predators without trial, evidence, or context.

The Tea App’s marketing uses all the feminist buzzwords you like.

• Toxic or dangerous behavior

• Support and empower

• Welcoming space

• Relationship support

• Help us feel less alone

• Inclusive and supportiv

• Advice and support

We’re not falling for it.

You are more likely to die from accidentally swallowing toothpaste than be harmed by a man on a first date.

And yet, a random woman, who hasn’t even met you, can upload your face to millions of strangers to ask

“What’s the tea on him?”

Does that seem like protection, or is it social defamation for sport?

10. Well, if you’ve Got Nothing to hide, that shouldn’t be an issue

Honestly, can some of these reprobates take the longest walk off the shortest pier? Such base human thinking.

Jesus Christ, who are these people? The kind of kids who used to eat crayons growing up?

Like that little shit Danny (Above), “being good” doesn’t protect you from false allegations, mob rule, or viral misinformation. If a man says he’s concerned about a digital burn book, it doesn’t mean he’s evil; it means he knows how reckless and biased public perception can be.

Men aren’t worried about what they’ve done. They’re worried about what someone could say they did because in 2026, it’s not proof that gets you canceled. It’s whoever posts first. You don’t get to weaponize a rumor mill and then mock people for not wanting to be inside it.

Why the fuck do people stand on this moral high ground and act like they ain’t got no sense?

You want men to respect a platform where any ex, enemy, or random stranger can brand them as toxic with no evidence, no appeals, and no accountability? Imagine defending that and thinking you’re the adult in the room.

By their logic, the existence of security cameras proves every customer is a thief.

Ironically, if you said “The existence of OnlyFans proves women are desperate for male validation,” you’d be crucified. But painting half the population as inherently dangerous based on a gossip app?

Totally fine.

These people are threatened by the fact that men are finally pushing back. Only in clown world does not wanting to be slandered mean you deserve to be slandered. That’s like saying, “If you’re upset, the neighborhood built a gallows with your name on it, maybe you’re guilty.

WE AIN’T FUCKING GOING FOR IT!

Men are frustrated because guilt doesn’t matter anymore. One bad date, one joke out of context, one bitter ex, and you’re trending. Institutionalized slander has begun!

Good men get labeled. Average men get mocked. Predators still slip through. And women begin to see every man as a potential screenshot, not a person.

11. So, What are the Long-Term Effects of the Tea App on Dating

Men already fear false accusations, misinterpretation, and emotional exposure. Tea just turns the volume up to 11. You’ll see…

• More emotionally unavailable men

• Fewer honest conversations

• Less dating initiative

Because when men feel like they’re being watched, judged, and pre-convicted, they shut down.

According to psychologist Dr. John Suler’s theory of the Online Disinhibition Effect, people say and do things online they’d never say in person, especially when anonymous.

And when you remove…

• Accountability

• Rebuttal

• Context

What the fuck do you think is gonna happen!? You get distortion. Drama. Emotional drive-bys.

In one study from The Journal of Applied Psychology, 75% of people admitted they’ve lied or exaggerated in online posts about others when angry.

SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT!

The Tea App normalizes suspicion. Women begin to preemptively distrust men, assuming danger or malice where there might’ve just been a misfire. Men, in turn, assume bad faith from women, seeing them as opportunists out to shame them.

Romance is on life support, and people seem content with pulling the plug.

If every flirtation is a risk, men will demand a return on investment fast, or they’ll quit. That means…

• More hookup culture

• Less long-term effort

• Relationships based on utility and fear, not intimacy and joy

12. The Tea App Already Backfired and Proved Men’s Point

Why?

Because all of A sudden, Women had an issue with their photos being shared online without their consent.

Well, if it isn’t irony slapping you right in the fucking face.

In less than 24 hours after critics warned the world about the ethical dangers of the Tea App an anonymous platform where women post about men’s dating “red flags” the platform was hacked. Over 72,000 user-submitted images, including selfies and government-issued IDs, were leaked.

The irony immediately landed on many of us who knew it was a bad idea. An app built on outing men without consequence ended up exposing the women who used it… without consent.

And in one swift, brutal twist of karmic symmetry, the hunters became the hunted.

(Video of getting exposed)

The Tea App sold women a seductive idea…

If you want to be safe in the dating world, collect warnings on men like Yelp reviews.

But you can’t build safety on slander. You can’t manufacture trust by assuming guilt.
And you definitely can’t create empowerment by encouraging unverified anonymous accusations.

Psychologists call this “reactive overcompensation” when fear leads people to adopt extreme control mechanisms, falsely believing they’re increasing safety. They’ve created a digital Lord of the Flies where no one is innocent, and everyone is vulnerable.

Here’s what makes this hack especially damning, the users gave up their names, faces, and ID photos just to talk anonymously about others. They sacrificed their own privacy in order to violate someone else’s. Moral hypocrisy fueled by tech-enabled narcissism.

Why would someone give their driver’s license to a gossip app? Because clout culture rewards the illusion of moral superiority. Because people believe “If I’m on the ‘good’ side, the rules don’t apply to me.”

They forgot the internet doesn’t care what side you’re on. It only cares whether you left your back door open.

Play stupid games…

But as some wise feminists once posted on Twitter.

“If you’ve got nothing to hide, why worry?”

That line doesn’t hit the same anymore, does it?

You lock your bathroom not because you’re doing something wrong but because it’s yours and you don’t want anyone walking in on you taking a shit. The women on Tea App weren’t “evil” for wanting to protect themselves. But they were naive for thinking that safety means turning strangers into suspects without due process.

When the database leaked, many of the same women who justified anonymous defamation cried foul about their own loss of privacy.

Because, of course, they did.

You don’t get to demand protection while weaponizing exposure. You can’t throw stones in anonymity and then beg for shelter when the house collapses.

Yes, it’s awful that their photos and IDs were leaked. It really was. I hate that it had to go there.
But it’s also awful that men were being named, shamed, and targeted without evidence on that very same platform.

Power without principles will always devour its own.

Here’s where it gets interesting.

Here are the men who got posted:

Vs the women…

Do you notice anything?

This is clearly a demographic of women that most people pretend not to see. It confirmed what I suspected.

Many of the loudest voices weaponizing the app weren’t the women men chase. They were the ones most often overlooked.

Very attractive, highly sought-after women simply wouldn’t have a need. Unattractive women by societal standards often experience the dating world differently.

They encounter more rejection, more ghosting, more disregard. Not because they’re bad people but because attraction isn’t fair, and the world rarely is.

The most desirable women get a filtered version of male behavior.

• They see charm.

• They get dates.

• They don’t get ghosted, they get followed up on.

But when a woman is invisible to the men she wants, her view of men turns jaded.

• She sees indifference where others see romance

• She hears lies where others hear sweet talk.

• So she stops assuming men are human and starts seeing them as threats.

That bitterness? It calcifies. Femcels exist!

And when an app lets her anonymously air her grievances against the same men who never gave her attention?

It’s revenge.

That’s why any critique of the Tea App gets met with volcanic rage, you’re not debating someone’s opinion. It’s simply poking a wound they never got to heal.

And so, the app becomes less about safety and more about projection. Less about accountability and more about collective catharsis. Because if they can’t be desired, they’ll settle for being feared.

Know Your Rights!

You Can Subpoena the Tea App

Even if you’re locked out as a man, you don’t need direct access to sue. If you suspect (or are told) that defamatory content exists about you, you can work with an attorney to…

• File a “John Doe” lawsuit for defamation or harassment

• Subpoena Tea for

  • The post(s) in question

  • The IP address, email, or identifying info of the user who posted it

  • Any screenshots or records of your profile used

• This is common in online defamation suits, especially with anonymous posters

You don’t need to know who posted you, just need to show harm and initiate legal process. Courts will help unmask them if the case is solid.

Collect Evidence — Even Secondhand

If someone alerts you about a post, or shows you a screenshot:

• Save the screenshot immediately (with date/time, source)
  
  

• Ask multiple people to corroborate it if possible. I had my sister join so I could write this article.

• This builds a strong base for proving publication and reputational harm

• If the post includes lies presented as fact (not opinion), that’s legally actionable

Build a Defamation Case

To sue for defamation, you must prove:

1. False Statement of Fact (not just opinion)

2. Publication to a third party

3. Fault or Negligence (they didn’t verify the truth)

4. Harm to your reputation, job, or emotional well-being

Examples that may qualify

• Accusations of abuse, assault, fraud, or predatory behavior without evidence

• Posts that include doctored screenshots

• Misrepresentation of private messages or behavior

Argue Discrimination Separately

If you’re locked out purely for being a man, there may be grounds to claim:

• Gender discrimination (especially if you’re in CA or NY with stricter civil rights laws)

• Violation of public accommodation laws, if Tea operates broadly like Yelp or Glassdoor

While harder to win, this could be leveraged in parallel with your defamation action or to pressure the platform to allow you access to content about you.

You don’t need access to the app to take legal action. If Tea’s users defame you, you can sue anonymously, subpoena the platform, and force unmasking of the poster. Platforms can hide behind Section 230 but users cannot.

Who would have thought you could learn a lot from a YouTuber called Mr Beast

MrBeast, whose real name is Jimmy Donaldson, has built one of the largest creator businesses in the world. If you don’t know who he is, chances are you kids do.

In a February 2025 appearance on Steven Bartlett’s The Diary of a CEO, he explained that philosophy through one stupidly simple image.

In a recent podcast, he shared the idea through a simple story.

Imagine you’re driving down a quiet road...

You spot a cow.
You keep driving.

You’ve seen cows thousands of times before.

Nothing about it grabs your attention.

Now imagine this...

The cow is purple.

You hit the brakes.
You pull out your phone.
You tell everyone about it.

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That’s the Purple Cow Effect.

People notice what they’ve never seen before.

Being different is what makes something memorable.

He then connects that directly to content creation. His point is that when people scroll past something resembling everything they’ve already seen, their brain ignores it.

A “purple cow” idea creates the opposite reaction because novelty produces the “I have to click this” response.

According to MrBeast...

Success often comes from creating something people haven’t experienced before.

Most people never stop to look...

Because most things look exactly like everything else. When it comes to dating, to a lot of women, most men are simply like every other man.

She’d be right. I’ve met men at corporate events, house parties, wine parties, and all the rest, and most of them are painfully average.

They’re “normal”.

Just think about it, the ideas that transform industries...

Usually sound strange at first. Sometimes they even seem impossible.

Look at what Steve Balmer said about the iPhone…

People thought Jobs was a fucking not job, and Balmer was arrogant enough to smugly laugh at the mere notion of an iPhone. Fast forward 19 years later, and if I asked a kid about a Windows phone, they’d pull out their iPhone and say, “Do ya mean this!?”

Then the market made that clip age like milk.

The original iPhone hit 1 million sales in just 74 days. By the first quarter of iPhone 3G availability in 2008, Apple sold 6.9 million iPhones in a single quarter, more than the 6.1 million first-generation units it had sold during the previous five quarters combined.

The iPhone then became one of the most successful consumer products ever made. More than 2.3 billion iPhones have been sold globally since launch. It helped normalize the touchscreen smartphone, turned the App Store into an enormous software economy, and pushed the physical keyboard toward extinction in mainstream smartphones.

People always sound crazy until it works.

That’s why unique and brand new things are difficult to create. Because you almost have to be crazy for it to work.

If they were easy...

Everyone would already be doing them. The men who are the most successful at dating are one of one. That’s why so many women want to date them.

Common men avoid difficult ideas. They choose what’s familiar. What’s already proven. What’s comfortable. What’s normal.

Purple only works in a field of brown. Psychology has its own version of the Purple Cow principle, the isolation or von Restorff effect, where an item that differs from surrounding items often receives a memory advantage.

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The people who make the biggest impact...

Usually run toward the ideas everyone else avoids.

• Being different isn’t comfortable.

• Being different gets criticized.

• Being different gets questioned.

Until it works.

The biggest breakthroughs come from having the courage to build something the crowd doesn’t understand yet.

The Purple Cow Effect Works In Dating.

Most women don’t remember men who are ordinary. They remember the men who challenge them, who allow them to stop, look, and wonder where this man has been all their life.

Sometimes, the greatest romantic opportunity is hidden inside the man other men are too afraid to be.

The man who says exactly how he feels with no thoughts of reprcusssion, the man who goes for what he wants, the man who fears no one. The man who can talk to anyone, who can walk in an elevator full of people and not turn his back; instead, he faces them all.

Most of you will never be that man. I mean that with all the arrogance I can type.

A man becomes generic every time fear edits his personality before the room can hear it. Eventually he speaks fluent approval, and nobody can remember a fucking sentence he said.

Cause society has clipped you upside the head so much you wouldn’t know how to step out of normal even if you tried.

That’s my challenge to you.

TRY.

• Try to introduce yourself differently.

• Try to hug differently

• Try to communicate differently.

• Try to fuck differently.

• Try to empathize differently.

• Try to kiss differently.

• Try to listen differently.

I don’t mean reinvent the wheel here and start doing a whole 360 with all the above, but just a little differently. Remember, remember most people are insanely mediocre. I mean that. Drive down the street for a few miles, go to the movies, go to the gym or a supermarket, look around. Watch closely, and you’ll see the same scene everywhere: people staring at screens while neglecting the reason they showed up in the first place.

Your phone has turned full attention into a luxury good. When half the room is staring into six inches of glass, with the social skills of a ripe melon, the man who can remain inside an actual conversation starts looking unusually expensive and insanely sexy to most women.

People have never been more “stupified” into a trance of low effort, low-stakes pit of social misery.

So do things differently and up every single fucking level of your social game, and thank me later.

Men should absolutely have a preference against dating overweight women.

In fact, let’s pull the curtain a bit.

Imagine if you saw a dude in shape dating a fat bird; what would you think?

• She must be rich

• Foreign guy trying to get that green card

• That’s probably the best he can get

• She was skinny when they met.

• She must be a monster in bed.

• That’s got to be his sister.

And why would you think that? What’s up with the snap reflexive cynicism, ya bastard! ;)

Because you’re a judgmental asshole?

Yes.

But being judgmental is good; it’s what keeps us safe and alive, and in the long run helps you make better life decisions. When someone says you “shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover,” tell them to fuck off and wake up to reality because EVERYONE judges a book by its cover, because the cover rarely lies. That saying sounds nice on some 1960’s pillow at your gran’s, but that’s as far as it goes.

Being judgmental is the oldest safety system you own, and it’s why you’re still here.

In 2002, Harvard researchers played listeners forty seconds of surgeons’ voices from routine office visits. Words stripped out. Tone only. Coders blind to everything. Those forty seconds separated the surgeons who’d been sued for malpractice from the ones who never had.

Forty seconds. From a stranger. And it predicted a lawsuit.

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It doesn’t make sense.

A stark physical mismatch in a relationship usually forces people to look for the invisible glue holding it together. It’s like looking at some kind of visual equity that’s heavily unbalanced.

We judge a man cause biologically men don’t have a natural inclination to date fat chicks unless the options aren’t plentiful., Because fat people, by their own choices, are not natural, they are factory-produced by years of overindulgence and poor choices throughout adulthood.

You give me a lineup of women, and I can tell you who ate all the fucking chicken nuggets in 5 seconds.

BMI strongly affects perceived female attractiveness. In Tovée & Cornelissen’s experimental ratings, BMI was the primary predictor of female physical attractiveness for both male and female observers.

More dating options make visible traits matter more. A study of 3,738 people across 84 speed-dating events found that as the number of potential partners increased, people relied more heavily on immediately visible traits such as height and weight.

Men in low-resource regions of Malaysia and Africa show a standing preference for heavier partners (Bahahahahahahahaha IYKYK). This makes sense when you see the obligatory skinny African dude with some fat American chick. Yeah, I said it. Get that green card, my brother. I ain’t even mad at the hustle. It’s no different from women marrying a rich man and then taking 50%.

Scarcity widens the range.

The less a man can get, the more he’s willing to settle. That’s probably the best he thinks he can do; the room is running the right equation on the wrong variable. It’s reading his supply.

Dating abundance works like a five-star buffet.

Give a man fifty attractive options, and suddenly he’s Gordon Ramsay inspecting the parsley. Give him one option at a gas station at 2:13 a.m. and that rotating hot dog starts developing a remarkable personality.

And look, I get it; we live in a real world. Some people’s biology pulls the trigger at three times the rate of others. That’s more damning to the modern food system and less dismissible than “poor choices,” so you can slightly throw my argument out the window....

Buuuuuuut then you insult everything that makes humans great.

The propensity to know you have a problem and fight it with all you have.

Too many deluded wankers get cute and use biology as an alibi for the weakest form of surrender. That’s where the cheap suit splits at the seams. Human greatness has always started where instinct says sit down and something harder says get up. Hunger talks. Genes whisper. Habits collect rent. None of them get the final signature unless you hand them the pen.

I’ve seen men rebuild themselves with less than a gym membership and more unpaid bills than common sense. The body may load the gun, the city may cock it, the culture may leave it on the table with a note saying “help yourself,” but you still decide whether to pull the trigger. So read the science. Respect the handicap and get to fucking work!

Cause according to data from the National Institutes of Health (NIH) and CDC, genetic factors set a baseline predisposition; adult obesity is predominantly driven by chronic behavioral inputs, specifically extended periods of physical inactivity combined with a high consumption of hyper-processed, calorie-dense foods.

It’s almost as if human beings have a choice every day as to what kind of garbage they’re going to put in their gaping chasms.

A cross-cultural study published in PMC/PubMed spanning ten global populations found a direct, inverse linear relationship between female body fatness (BMI) and male ratings of physical attractiveness. Men systematically rated lower body fat percentage as more visually appealing down to a BMI of 19, viewing excess fat as a marker of declining youth and physiological health.

Fat chicks don’t look good.

Sorry.

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And not only because of looks; actually, biology.

If you wanna build a family, fertility matters. And being significantly overweight directly impacts a woman’s hormonal health, her cycle, and her ability to carry a healthy pregnancy.

Don’t blame me. Blame science. It’s also about longevity. You’re choosing a life partner. Chronic illness, heart disease, diabetes these are statistically more common with people who have obesity.

You wanna grow old with her, not watch her health decline at 45 and watch the little lardster get out of breath trying to walk the stairs. A man’s standards reflect his sense of either strong or weak leadership. I’m so serious here. All the men I know with fat chicks are weak men; they’re not leaders. This might be anecdotal from me. So write in the comments. Have you seen this with people you know?

If you claim to be a strong man of wisdom, understand that your standards are not cruel when they protect the future you intend to build.

I once went on a date with a portly woman, and she suggested we go bike riding. I actually thought nothing of it as we hadn’t met. Spoiler alert…

She looked nothing like her photos. She wasn’t massively obese, but she was big. Let’s just put it that way. But I didn’t want to make her feel shitty, so we rented the “Citi Bikes” and went on our way. When I tell you she struggled, it was so fucking embarrassing. Sweating like she just ran an ultra marathon and stopping midway because she needed “chaffing cream.” Suffice it to say…

I never met her again.

If you let any woman in your life stay in a state that is actively harming her body, you don’t really love them. If you really love her, you’ll politely push the people you care about towards their best selves, and give complacency a nice dry slap.

Fuck body positivity culture to hell and back.

They want you to call this hateful, but telling someone that their health doesn’t matter and it’s okay having more rolls than a bakery is the most hateful thing you can do.

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So fat women aren’t human!?

Of course they are. In fact, they’re some of the best humans on the planet cause a lot of them know how it feels to be ostracized just cause of their looks, and it gives them stronger character.

But that doesn’t mean you have to date them. Attraction has never been a soup kitchen. Try as the propaganda machine might, you’ll never be able to manufacture a desire for cankles and women with no visible neck because somebody has a good heart and a difficult backstory.

Fuck off, man.

People don’t like what I’m writing, but we’re a lookist, vapid, appearance-based culture. We couldn’t change that any more than our natural proclivity to want to have sex. Treat everyone with the highest measure of dignity, desire selectively, and never apologize for knowing the difference.

You can sit there and bitch and whine in the comments and name-call those of us calling it out and want a healthy society.

Or you can do your part, put down the fucking Funyans, and expect more from yourself and your future/current spouse.

I remember talking to a friend about Stephanie.

He had been broken up with, pretty brutally, I might add, and he was going on and on and on about it for weeks. Every single time we would hang out, he would just talk about how she did him wrong and how not to trust women and how, “I was right”

I was.

He tried to lecture me and get on his moral high ground when he first started dating her. He quite literally sent her a Cash App of $50.00 for her “make-up” to meet him on the first date, and he had to pay for the dinner. I kept telling him he’s a sucker and she’s using him. After 2 months, it was over. A summer fling or a summer of her being wined and dined and possibly 69’d by someone that wasn’t Jacob.

Attention purchased through favors is borrowed time, and you only realize that when there’s no time left.

And I told him, you need to stop, man. You need to move on. She never really liked you. She was using you cause you kept buying her nice shit.

And he really went through it. He was really struggling. He was listening to The Smiths for fuck sake. Now I love the Smiths myself, but bro.

It was a little pathetic; she liked him alright. She liked him the way a vending machine likes loose change…

Fondly enough to light up while something valuable keeps falling through the slot. When the coins stopped, so did the magic. He kept calling his exploitation heartbreak because the prettier word lets him avoid the uglier lesson of him being a pure-bred sucker.

Me: Bro, you gotta move on. It wasn’t even that long; there’s always other women.

Jacob: That’s easy for you to say.

Me: What’s that supposed to mean?

Jacob: You break up with a girl, and other girls are willing to pick up the pieces. She’s the hottest chick I’ve dated, dude. Gimme a break.

And I took that personally. I said…

Me: Look, man, you only care about her dumping you because you don’t get bitches. You don’t date a lot of women. If you had other options after she dumped you, you really wouldn’t care that she broke up with ya, because she never really treated you well in the first place.

He was upset. And responded…

Jacob: Whatever dude.

I felt sorry for him because grief had hollowed out his face. Yet the deeper problem was simple: Stephanie was the hottest woman he had ever touched, and scarcity had dressed her flaws in royal robes. He did not want to cross the desert of rejection to discover that beauty and goodness sometimes live in the same house. He stopped at the first glittering tollbooth and spent the summer paying admission to a road that led nowhere. Dating some modern chick with a Styrofoam cup metaphorically begging for change with every dating interaction they had.

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A lot of men settle.

And it’s kind of like the paradigm. People are only faithful because they don’t have options. Or people are only as faithful as the options that they have. How can you really trust someone who claims to be faithful when they’ve never really had those opportunities with other women in the first place?

A lot of dudes stay with the same woman for decades and say they’re committed. But depending on who it is, I can’t help but feel like it’s convenient. Familiarity. Fear. Half the time, they stay with her because they didn’t believe they could do better.

A locked door proves little when nobody has ever knocked.

And that’s the whole point. If you’ve never stood at a fork in the road, you don’t get credit for choosing the right path. How can you be faithful if you never got any pussy to begin with?

(Side Note: Quick word on the title before we get going. I use “bitches” the way it gets used across a table with a drink in your hand, which is loosely, jovially, and mostly to make the guy across from you laugh. It’s a word about volume. If you want the sanitized version of this headline, fuck off and go read someone else’s shit. Women are not bitches. For the record. )

So I decided I was going to help him out.

He wasn’t really listening to me, and I needed to get him options and a lot of them; the way woman have their phone blow up with at least 3-8 orbiters is what he needed. A taste of what he was missing. I needed to give him a taste of the abundant life.

Jacob was a Senior Software Engineer, 5 foot 9, late 20’s white dude from Michigan who made 165k a year. He was a catch, and he wasn’t an ugly dude. Just a pretty average one.

So for a few weekends I brought him out with us, the boys and me, and we met a few women, and I kept shouting him out and letting the women know that he’s a catch. Really forcing him to interact with brand new women.

I never introduced him and walked away. I stayed in it. I’d open the group myself, get it warm, and once there was actual conversation happening, I’d pull him in on something he could carry.

I gave them a reason to ask him a question instead.

Me: Yeah, Jacob’s a genius. He runs 3 coding websites, and he has time to go on runs. Is that what you said you do, Marissa?

Then I’d stop talking and let her get in. That’s the whole trick. I wasn’t selling him. Just gave all the women a thread to pull.

Then I’d step back, physically. Half a step out of the circle, turn my body toward somebody else. He has to hold it or lose it.

Plenty of nights he lost it. Talking too much about himself or trying to make cringy sex jokes with no rapport built. He’d come back over looking like he wanted to leave. I told him every time that the failed ones counted the same as the good ones, because they did.

And it wasn’t so much about him getting the hottest woman. It was just about him having exposure therapy with women, and really realizing that there are other women besides his ex that were attracted to him.

And he changed very, very quickly. He woke up to the fact that not only were there women out there that liked him, but there were women with better personalities, and quite frankly, women that were more suited to him. The comparison did what six weeks of my advice couldn’t.

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And the only reason he initially wouldn’t shut the fuck up about being dumped is that he couldn’t get with anyone else.

I say this all the time.

Unless you’re actually going out there and applying my advice, watching my videos, listening to my articles, or reading them. You’re as useful as rubber lips on a woodpecker.

And that’s what men need. Men need to learn how to be in an abundance of women. Men need to learn how to get the attention of women that you don’t know. Or you’re going to stay a loser. Men who treat every woman like their last chance will eventually behave like a man with no chances. Build options before desperation builds your personality.

Women can sniff out desperation better than airplane dogs smelling the purest strain of cocaine.

It’s not about being a player or a fuck boy. It’s about exercising the options you have, just like billions of other women do every day and no one faults them, right?

Women always have options. Women always have abundance because they’re deluded enough to assume they can. And the reason why women don’t have an issue dumping you is that they know there are always going to be other men interested in dating them. You need to put yourself in social situations where you know that if a woman breaks up with you, you always have other options.

Jacob found the woman of his dreams only after meeting enough wrong women to recognize peace when it finally sat across from him. That meant more arriving at happiness by accident. In 2023, he chose her with certainty because experience had already taught him the difference between chemistry, bullshit, takers, comfort, and love.

A couple of years ago, I used to date the “strong independent very successful career women”. Owners of small businesses, execs, and real high-flying career women. I figured I wanted to date someone who was on the same professional trajectory as I was.

But one day, I stopped going for those women.

Why?

It was a weird dick-measuring contest, and I felt like I was dating her hyperbolic LinkedIn profile more than who she really was.

Then I dated a nice, very smart, and super funny high school teacher who was far more in tune with who I am and what I needed to be happy in a relationship, and I realized I need to start dating more women like that. Women who have great careers but aren’t trying to finger themselves to a corporate all-hands and speak like this…

• “Synergy”

• “We’re aligned”

• “Move the needle”

• “Circle back”

The career-driven, super busy, and highly successful women were annoying to date; it was kinda like a dick-measuring contest all the time, and they really only seemed to care about their careers and were simply dating me to check a box. It simply became too draining.

And that’s not the kind of woman you want.

It was like dating HR at a corporate event, forced smiles, stiff conversations, and the lingering feeling that you might get written up. It was less romance, more boardroom battle. If I wanted to compete this much, I’d challenge some roided-up douchbag to a push-up contest at the gym.

But that’s MY preference, right?

You might like women like that; besides, not all women are the same. There could be a career woman who is very much like the “girl next door.” Buuuuut, I personally haven’t met them.

I believe a lot of these women don’t even like men. They just see it as a box to tick off.

You’ve seen the tweets, the think pieces, and the annoyingly quick viral rage-bait videos that are so bloody obvious, but we all comment anyway out of some misguided sense of righteous pride.

• “I’d rather date a bear than a man.”

• “I will always believe a woman over a man, no matter what.”

• “Men are the problem, period.”

• “If he breathes, he’s lying.”

• “Men deserve less end of discussion.”

• “Every problem in history? A man was behind it.”

• “It’s ALWAYS men!”

The worst part is that there are a lot of stupid women out there who actually believe this load of bollocks. Why even bother fighting these uneducated woolly mammoths like a drunk shadowboxing a coat rack?

Some guys read this nonsense and get mad. They take to the comments, arguing, defending themselves, and pleading for fairness and equality, you know, the same things these ladies allegedly want. You’d have a better experience feeding coins into a machine that punches you in the balls than going toe-to-toe with them.

Energy spent proving your worth is energy stolen from building it. Be a producer rather than a consumer. Invest in yourself, not in arguments with women who don’t matter and women you were most likely never going to date anyway.

That’s some other suckers’ problem. Not yours.

I asked myself this question in 2020. Why am I going back and forth with these bitter headcases?

A lot of modern men are getting caught in an emotionally manipulative trap, caring about sad, lonely women who don’t care about them and who couldn’t care less whether they live or die. The sun doesn’t argue with darkness every morning, right? It just rises. You know you’re strong, grounded, with integrity, and an unshakable presence is the only answer you need.

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The Rise of “Misandry for Clout”

Hating men is trendy, trending, and viral, depending on the time of day.

On social media, you don’t get engagement by saying…

• “Men and women both have struggles.”

• “Dating is hard for everyone. Men and women just experience it in different ways.”

• “Men can be good partners, too.”

That won’t go viral. It’s not profitable, it’s not very polarizing, and it’s not so fucking dumb that you have to comment. No, the tech bigwigs and their corporate inner-jerk circle decided that only controversy should get pushed so they line their pockets and build ginormous bunkers in Hawaii. We have those billionaire douchebags to thank for that.

Clickbait is king, and reason is left begging in the streets. Because the internet rewards noise before it ever considers the concept of nuance.

Instead, rage-bait takes over…

• “All men are predators.”

• “If a man isn’t worshipping me, he’s trash.”

• “I don’t owe a man kindness or empathy. After all the heartache they cause women”

• “Yes, all men!”

These women know men will respond. They know men will fight back. They know men will debate them. And guess what?

That’s precisely what they want. It’s about traction, a game to “get revenge” on all the awful men.

It’s a cheap engagement tactic from their cheap little IG account that’s built on nothing but going back and forth with people and “shit posting”. These women fatten their ugly-ass misandrist mobs with a daily cocktail of misinformed hate.

Why?

Engagement equals money. Hate-fueled “pop feminism” sells; that’s why so many so-called “man-haters” are STILL DATING MEN. They “hate” men but still want boyfriends, but they want someone very specific. They despise men but still swipe on Tinder/Hinge/Bumble.

What Happens

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What Happens When You Engage With These Women?

When men engage/date/converse with women who don’t even like them, here’s what happens

• You waste energy on people who don’t respect you.

• You give them free attention and validation for people who purposefully farm for it.

• You internalize their worldview, making yourself bitter.

• Spending time with women like this stops you from dating women who actually like men.

• Your view of women becomes just as jaded as their view of men.

It’s like boxing with a ghost; you’ll keep swinging, but you’re the only one getting hit.

Men who argue online with these women think they’re “defending all men.” Look, I’ve been guilty of this, and I’m not proud of it. In reality, we’re just getting dragged into an unwinnable war. Because whenever you argue with women about such a stupid, baseless, nonsensical argument, here’s what happens…

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You Validate Their Narrative

Every reply, every counterpoint, and every ounce of effort you put in feeds the very argument you’re trying to dismantle. If you argue, they win because now their post is getting engagement, getting pushed by the algorithm, and making them look like a martyr fighting the “evil misogynist.”

💬 Example

Woman: “Men who defend themselves against sexism are just proving they’re sexist.”

Man: “That’s ridiculous! Not all men are sexist!”

Woman: “See? You’re getting defensive. That means I struck a nerve.”

(Cue her likes skyrocketing while you look like you’re scrambling.)

They create a trap where even your denial is used as “proof” against you. The oldest manipulation tactic in the cheap rage-bait engagement playbook for dummies.

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Your Response Becomes a Weapon Against You

The moment you reply, your words are now a tool in their arsenal. They’ll purposefully take things out of context, twist your meaning, and meticulously cherry-pick lines to make you look like the villain to fit their warped narrative. You’re essentially giving them the bullets to shoot you with.

💬 Example

Woman: “Why don’t men care about women’s feelings!”

Man: “That’s not true, plenty of men care about women’s feelings.”

Woman: “Oh, so you’re saying women should ignore their experiences and just listen to men? Sounds like gaslighting and mansplaining.”

No matter what you say, it will be reframed to fit their TikTok feminist argument.

The Classic Shaming Tactics to Dismiss You

If they can’t win with logic, they’ll shame you into silence. They’ll label you, mock you, and try to paint you as insecure, bitter, or guilty by association. The goal is to make you look weak and emotional while they play the calm, rational one.

💬 Common Tactics & Responses

• “You’re only arguing because you’re the very person I’m talking about” (Guilt by association.)

• “Wow, you’re really pressed about this. Hit dogs holler!” (Implying you’re emotionally unstable.)

• “This is why women don’t date men like you.” (Attacking your masculinity and social value.) The funniest thing is you could be in a loving partnership or married.

• “You must have been hurt by a woman before.” (Framing your logic as bitterness.)

By the time you’ve typed out a well-thought-out argument, they’ve already dismissed you with a cheap insult and moved on to the next comment to repeat their brain-dead, overused copy-and-paste response.

Think about it…

Would you try to argue with someone into liking your favorite band? Would you waste time debating with someone who hates your favorite food? No?

Then why do it with people who fundamentally don’t respect you?

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The Best Thing About This Whole Scenario? - These Women Are Not Your Loss

Some men act like they’re “losing” something when they walk away from these women. Or is that a population of women that you could have been dating?

No, it’s not. You’re not missing out on these women, trust me, not on dating apps, real life, or social media. Let them be miserable man-haters with the rest of those big back harpies.

But what exactly are you losing?

• A partner who assumes you’re a predator because you’re a man?

• Who would side with another woman over you just cause she’s a woman?

• A woman who will treat you like a villain for simply existing?

• Someone who thinks you need to “prove” you’re not terrible before she respects you?

That sounds like a horrible power struggle. I’ve been there; I’ve dated these women. Everything was a debate; it was awful, and it was all on me. I chose to date those one-sided morons.

You’re escaping a hostage negotiation where your ransom is endless groveling and apologizing for sins you didn’t commit.

Does any of that sound fun to you?

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Date Women Who Actually Like Men

There’s good news…

Not all women are like this.

There are women who still really like men.

There are still women who

✔️ Appreciate and respect men.

✔️ Want a stable, loving relationship.

✔️ Don’t see every man as an enemy.

✔️ Judge individuals, not entire genders.

But how do you spot them? Here are three questions to help you filter out the good from the bad, because the last thing you want to do is waste time on a lady who’s a man-hater behind closed doors and posts you on “Are We Dating The Same Guy,” to prove you’re “safe.”

1. Does she treat men with basic respect?

Does she speak about men as if they’re all the same?

Does she constantly put men down, even jokingly?

Does she assume you’re guilty of something just because you’re a guy?

A woman who sees all men as trash isn’t making an exception for you. You might think this is a little nuts, but trust me, you have to make sure you’re not wasting time on a woman who might like you but despise the entire gender. It’s odd. A woman who distrusts all men will never trust you; she’ll just tolerate you until you prove her right. You can’t build a future with someone who thinks your entire kind belongs in the past.

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