The Cruelty of Time

Time’s greatest cruelty might be healing,
normalization
restoration
ebbing grief
time–erasing pain and memory

but I’ve not let time do its cruel work
I’ve kept a piece of my loss 
to fend off healing
to keep the wound from covering
to keep the scab from forming
to avoid scar tissue which threatens to deaden the pain
of my sorrow
–my sorrow is all I have
I will not forget

I will not be made whole from this great loss
this terrible tragedy
this unspeakable horror
from which I can’t–I won’t escape
for then–free of my grief and sorrow
who would I be?

Ascending to Zion

Am I ever ascending to Zion?
Am I oft to lift my eyes 
and see the glory of Your Splendor
where truth, my treasure lies?

as I on this pilgrim journey
learn to let my burdens go
I take with me only 
daily bread and living water
by these provisions I am fed

be my center on this journey
for this world I’ll one day leave
and onto glory of the Father, Son and Spirit 
I will cleave

What is this mystery?
How can three be one?
How can I with them unite
Great is the oneness
Great is the sight

as I come my soul uplifted
all my burdens cast aside
My Savior-Father-Spirit-
with me do abide.

I can barely grasp the concepts
My mind is bent on things above
but here I long do sit and ponder
on all my Father gives in love

Therefore, if anyone is united with the Messiah, he is a new creation — the old has passed; look, what has come is fresh and new! 2 Corinthians 5:17 (CJB)

If anyone

We should not understand this as the passage for the super-holy or the seasoned saint. Rather, this applies to the recent convert, the one just plucked from the fire and any other “united with Messiah.” “Anyone” in Christ is a new creation.

United with the Messiah

In other translations, this phrase is rendered “in Christ.” In the Amplified version, “in Christ” is further explained as being “grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior.”

We are united with Messiah when we believe that Messiah (Christ) is who He said He was (God incarnate) and did what He said He did (provided a once-for-all sacrifice for sin, so that mankind could be reconciled to God through the blood sacrifice of the Messiah (Jesus Christ).

This belief is not just in the existence of Jesus, a historical figure–because that has never been in doubt, but belief in what Jesus said about Himself and the connection He made between Himself and the teachings of the Hebrew scriptures. One cannot believe in Jesus without believing and relying on the Hebrew scriptures (Old Testament). These were the only scriptures in existence at the time Jesus said, “You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of Me.” John 5:39

New Creation

Being united with Messiah is more than simply a state of mind. This belief must be accompanied by actions that confirm a change has occurred. Being a new creation requires being born again. (John 3) Being born again speaks of the new life or new creation possible when one is born from above–born as a result of the indwelling Spirit of the one true God.

This new creation (birth) should be evident by new life, new patterns, new choices, and other marks that one has been changed from within, not by mere changes rooted in human effort. James said that true faith is accompanied by works. It is a yoke (the yoke of heaven) to be taken upon one’s self. It is a life committed to righteousness–the righteousness laid out in Torah (Genesis through Deuteronomy). This life now; however, is not lived by obedience to rules, but rather obedience to the Holy Spirit planted within, making the creation new and guiding the new creation in the ways of God. This should be evident and should testify of the work of creation in the individual’s life. Being born again, being a new creation–these are not hidden works. They will be evident to all who know us. Even if we are not perfect–we will be different and more righteous than before–fresh and new!

Why Seek After Me?			

You say You want to know me
I can’t imagine why

I am Eve
When You set rules for me,
for my good
I question Your heart for me
Your motives
I brought a curse upon myself

But I am also Sarah
You made me beautiful
attractive to the eye
but shallow of heart
lacking in faith
I laugh when You promise
to bring joy into my life
to fill a void

I am Rebekah
I think I know justice better than You
I take matters into my own hands
I rush ahead and cause division
I open the way for death to swallow
up the precious lives of my sons

I am also Miriam
worshiper of You
turned leper thru self-seeking
and jealousy

But I am also Rehab,
sold into prostitution by those I trusted
permanently stained by the world
but some how miraculously inserted into the Messianic line 
by the mercy of God 
who remembered me

As living epistles, we fullfill the covenant God made to put His law within us, and “write it on [our] hearts.” (Jeremiah 31:33)

The writer of Hebrews assures us that despite what it may appear, my flesh and the adversary have no access to the letter Adonai is writing on my heart. God alone is the “author and finisher.” (Hebrews 12:2.)

If I accept these insights, then I am compelled to ask, “What is my life saying?” “What is God saying through me to those around me?” It is also important to ask, “What is God saying to me –what is the content of the letter He is writing on my heart?”

Remember that Adonai knows how to write epic stories. He wrote Esther from captive to Queen. He wrote David from shepherd boy to King. He wrote Joseph from slave to second only to Pharoah. He wrote Saul from killer to apostle.

Adonai wants to write on our lives that we might:

Know our Author

Receive His goodness

Be protected from the adversary

Read of all men

“Because I am Adonai. I will speak; and whatever statement I make, it will be accomplished. It will no longer be delayed; for in your days, you rebellious house, I will speak the word and accomplish it,’ says Adonai Elohim.” (Ezekiel 12:25)

As I meet my Maker

Laying against eternal arms
resting safe from worldly charms
here I meet my Maker
here I greet my Maker

Life’s concerns unyielding weight
worry, fear and passions rage
‘til I meet my Maker
‘til I greet my Maker

Learning as I live
thoughts in constant bend
as I meet my Maker
as I greet my Maker

Desert heat beat down outside
‘neath outspread wings I safely hide
as I meet my Maker
as I meet my Maker

Time is nothing to be grasped
an hour like an eon pass
as I meet my Maker
as I meet my Maker		

Leaning close He whispers softly
word of wisdom that ease my longing
as I meet my Maker
as I meet my Maker

Today I’m thinking all His thoughts
love gushes from a well within
still the beggar whom He bought
His blood–it cleanses all my sin

The work is His–but rest is mine
leaning on His arms divine
here I meet my Maker
here I meet my Maker

But as for me, I am like a green olive tree in the house of God; I trust [confidently] in the lovingkindness of God forever and ever. Psalm 52:8 (Amplified)

How am I like a green olive tree in the house of God?

I am well-watered by the Word of God which washes over me daily as I study the scriptures. I am planted in the fertile soil–plenty of manure has fallen all around me over the years making the soil rich. I live in the glory of the Son which shines perpetually on me. And because olive trees grow wild if not properly tended, Adonai, the gardener, regularly prunes me for better growth and production.

I don’t strive to grow or worry about my leaves being green enough or when the rain will fall or how my branches will be trimmed–I confidently trust in the lovingkindness of my God, my Abba–forever and ever. I am His and He has never forsaken the righteous.

Tossing the Seas

You’re tossing the seas . . . again
the clouds and fog obscure 
the navigational guides above

I’m losing my footing.
You’re all I have.
You are my only hope.
You are all I need.

I question You about destination, purpose
begging for a hint
Your silence lets me know 
its early in the journey
I’ll know eventually

“Forgetting what is behind me and straining forward toward what lies ahead.” Phil 3:8

I must give up everything to God (It is all His anyway). When I give up the bad things, the sin, the depravity, the weights that hold me, I feel relief, knowing it is right, best for me and best for others.

But when God calls me to relinquish the seemingly good things–a relationship, a good job, a loved one, or a dear friend, that is hard. It’s a pain that seeks justification and whispers the question, “Why?” It squeezes my heart, and I must choose in the midst of the pain of searing loss to trust–to trust the most trustworthy One, but still it’s difficult. I struggle. It hurts.

I must yield everything to Adonai because is my father. I am His child. A child owes a parent obedience, submission.

He is our King, and we are His vassals, so we owe the King loyalty, fealty, in addition to submission and obedience.

He is our Savior, and we are His bond servants–servants who, given the chance to leave, ask to remain. It is not the place of the servant to resist the hand of the kind master, so I yield, I trust.

I must let go of everything, for what lies ahead, and so He can do what He has said He will do. He has promised to restore–to reunite–to dry the tears and so I can have hope–Biblical hope–hope based on statements and proofs from the One who cannot lie.

So I open my hand, lift it up . . . release . . .

My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him.

He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense;

I shall not be moved.

In God is my salvation and my glory;

The rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Psalm 62:5-7

I love this. My own struggles reflected in the psalmist’s description. The psalmist says, “my soul, wait.” He is instructing his soul. He is saying to himself, “don’t become anxious, just wait. God will come through.” He confirms that all that he wants or needs is found in the one true and living God, YHWH.

Our soul is the entirety of our being–mind, heart, and emotions. I hold nothing back–leave no thought to flutter away to other concerns. Every ounce of my being is focused on, expecting Him–His glory and majesty, His provision, His protection, who He is and what He has done. The Psalmist confirms this when he says, “He only . . .” (Emphasis added.)

The Psalms says, I wait “for God alone.” This single-minded devotion is a natural out-flow of the command in Deuteronomy 6:5 (the Shema) to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.” The Psalmist is modeling for us the life lived under the yoke of heaven.

I confess with the Psalmist, I have no other Gods before Him. He is my heart’s one desire. Worshiping God is what I was made for, but it is also what I most enjoy.

And so I wait as the Psalmist waited. In the waiting, God comes. After He comes, I wait enveloped in His presence. His Shekinah glory lights me up!

I wait silently. As Solomon said, “God is in heaven, and you on earth; Therefore let your words be few.” In the silence, I am filled with expectation–hope. Hope for provision, hope for protection, hope for healing, hope for renewal, hope for revival, hope for the future here and with Him–the endless eternal with God.

The Psalmist gives voice to his expectation in verses 6 and 7. Speaking of Adonai, he says, “He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense . . . In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.”

God is my rock–unlike sand or soil, He doesn’t shift or move. He is reliable. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is my rock of strength–a place where no enemy can reach me. He is my hiding place. In Psalm 27:5, the Psalmist tells us “in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; in the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock.”

My experiential knowledge (not mere book knowledge) of God’s character as my rock and my strength–allows me to say with the Psalmist–“I will not be moved. I will not be shaken.”

Taken

Taken
	chosen
	plucked
	stolen

from home
	throng
	fire
	destruction

Taken
	chosen
	plucked
	stolen

intentional
relational
exigent
violent

Holy
called 
saved
redeemed

Beloved

to be loved by God
to be taken by God
to be husbanded by God
to be overshadowed by God
to be joined with God

Taken
	chosen 
	plucked
	stolen

Your House

In Your house, I knew peace

Alone in my childhood
every relationship fractured by grief
family–a small assembly of jagged shards
cutting and being cut

Sunday
-one day in seven 
an hour of peaceful beauty
hush of kneelers falling
sweet round organ tones embrace me
music lifts my broken heart

parishioners file in
heels clicking on stone floor
voices muffled by the swish of coats
baby cries 
sweet presence of Jesus his comfort

the echoes of Your house wrap around me even now
I see my head bowed
knees resting on leather
I disappear behind the veil
every care dissolves 
with You
near You 
held and treasured
seen and known
until the final benediction
Go in peace . . . 
but outside of Your house I knew no peace

Your word

Your Word probed my soul
and my soul recognized 
its Master’s artful touch

But rough ropes held my soul fast
bound
enslaved
captive
to the past
to words
	accusations
	assassinations
	aberrations
to thoughts
	unfruitful
	intrusive
	abusive

to wounds
	still open
	festered
	aching

Your Word 
became flexible, thin
inserting itself between my soul
and its fetters
loosening
loosing
leaking poems
my soul revealed dark contents

Your word became sharp
a knife to binding
shredding my ropes
bursting my bonds
shattering my shackles

Your Word probed my soul
releasing waves 
of loss
sadness
sorrow
shame
bitterness
anger

relief
release
returned in their wake
tears . . . so many tears
grief unfurling
great swelling sobs
and tears . . . so many tears
soul softening
uncurling
reforming
healing

In the space of grace
Your Word expanded 
into my vulnerabilities
into my weakness
into the fractures in my soul
putty

As I sit face-to-face
–I allow Your Word 
to heal my soul
I am made new
I’m a new creation


Hebrews 4:12-13

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My heart was broken. My tears like a faucet open; my sobs threatening to shake my small body apart. I had lost my daddy. Nothing made sense. Mommy tried to quiet me, reminding me that he went to heaven, but I was inconsolable. My older sister was at school and my younger brother was at my Nana’s–she could only handle one of us at a time. I was running errands with my mother, but she was upset with me for crying, for not letting her go on with life–there was plenty of time to cry at home in bed after the lights were out. People were staring.

But after threats and bribes didn’t work to get me to stop crying for my Daddy, she took me into the church–the same church where my daddy’s body had lain cold in a casket just weeks before. She pulled the heavy wooden church door open, and the hush that has been sealed inside came rushing out–like a great wind to greet me, welcoming me. It was beautiful in that way churches have. I felt the peace as the heavy doors closed shutting out the noise and chaos of the world.

My eyes were drawn to the light as it shone through the stained glass windows. Before entering, my mother shushed me again out of a habit born of having three young children, but I didn’t need to be told, even at three-years old, that church was a place for hushed voices and upward thoughts.

Our shoes made jarring sounds on the marble floors, momentarily shattering the hushed silence, echoing off the wooden pews and marble. I was calmed. Church was a familiar place–I had been in church my whole life–since my baptism at three months. I was already part of the God-centered people. As I consider that reality of my identity, I suppose it wasn’t strange to come to church for comfort–for my mother to know instinctively that when her abilities ran out, she needed something–Someone–bigger to handle the problem. Perhaps as early as that day when my heart could not be consoled, she was turning me over to You.

In the back of the church were rows and rows of candles on a ornate metal stand dotted with melted wax. Some were lit; some were not. My mother pulled a wooden stick from somewhere near the candles and touched one of the flames. She handed me the stick with the flame on the end and told me to light one of the candles–”for Daddy.” I cautiously–because I knew fire is not safe–touched one of the sleeping candles with the flame. After a moment, the flame awoke, leaping up. Mother motioned to pull back the stick and I saw that I had lit the candle, the candle for daddy. It was a light now. Where there had been darkness, there was now light. I watched as the flame danced. In the moment, I was distracted. I forgot about the pain that threatened to swallow me whole. I experienced peace–Your peace, like a river on which I was floating. I felt its promise buoy me. I would not go under today.

Part of my concern of being hidden is being afraid I’ll disappear. I’ll be become so small that I won’t be seen–I won’t matter. You remind me that my value doesn’t come from the world or other people, my value is determined by You, YHWH. You say you have plans for my future, to give me hope. You say your thoughts toward me are more than the sands on the seashore. You say I am your beloved, the apple of your eye, the one who finds refuge under your wings, the one you keep, have kept and will keep. My value is seen in your sacrifice of Your only begotten Son, Jesus, for my sake. I matter because You say I do, because you make my life significant through union.

So is it possible that I am hiding? Perhaps hiding feels safer than exposing myself to everyone’s view, to everyone’s criticism, or their rejection. But to hide is to attempt to provide safety for myself, to reject the covering of the Most High.

Even when I am hiding, but I’m not hidden from You. (Psalm 139) There is not a thing about me that You don’t know. No thought or aspiration, no hatred or jealousy or desire of my heart has escaped Your attention. My failures are before You–as are my triumphs and victories–even if no one else sees. I understand that this life is to be lived in the space of that awareness. I was made to be Yours forever. My meaning comes from You; my source (energy, thought, love) is in You.

So from whom am I hiding? The world? Those who hurt me? Those who might want to hurt me?

You have promised that no weapon formed against me shall prosper. (Isaiah 54:17)

Prepare your mind for action

Be sober-minded! He goes on to describe what being sober-minded means: “set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” (1 Pet 1:13) He is telling us what should be the focus of our thoughts–how to think about life. We should be focused on the future–the coming kingdom of God. This will steady us. This will be a useful mindset in the battles–the trials–which are coming.

Be obedient Children

Peter’s emphasis here is three-fold. First of all, he wants us to remember that we are God’s children. This is part of what Christ accomplished–our adoption as sons. The second aspect is to remind us (me) that the past, where my passions may have developed when I was ignorant of what pleases God, does not define me or you. Peter calls us to remember Leviticus and the command to be holy. Holiness is still the telos–still the goal. Finally, Peter brings this section to a close with a reminder: If he really is my father, and I know his character, e.g., that he is an impartial judge of each person’s conduct, then my conduct wshould evidence that reality while I am in exile.

The High Cost of Salvation

If all of what Peter has laid out thus far were not enough, he reminds me (us) of the cost of the salvation we received. Whereas my life may have been begun in the futile traditions and rituals of my family, upbringing, education and human influences, my salvation was purchased with the precious blood of Christ. This Christ is the very Son of God, second person of the trinity, foreknown by God before creation, but whom God made manifest in these last times for our sake, for my sake.

Finally, after all that he would exhort and remind us of in this section, Peter testifies of God, the Father:

It is through him that we believe.

It is he who raised Christ from the dead.

It is he who glorified Christ.

These things (above) he did so our faith and hope could be firmly set with God through our mediator, Christ.

Born from Above

Born from above
wrapped in glory
Shekinah of the one true King
Tekton buried behind a stone

this daughter crawls
on carpets of His kindness
learns to walk
in meadows of His grace
climbs confidently
on the rocks and hills of trial
strengthening herself for eternity
as His bride

From atop His splendid steed
the King keeps watch over my training
in the shadows of the evening fire
He rubs lineament into my aching muscles
recounting epic tales of His exploits
what has been
and what will be

I doze off to the rich tenor of His voice
speaking life over me
loving kindness dripping from His lips
soothing oil on the head of the anointed 

Shalom

In the north of Israel, the the Galilee region, is Kinneret, also known as the Sea of Galilee, the Sea of Tiberias, Lake of Gennesaret, or simply “the Lake.” This lake has several aliases in scripture. In the Hebrew Bible, it is known as Kinnereth (Numbers 34:11; Josh. 12:3; 13:27. Some say this name is related to the Hebrew word kinnor which means “harp,” suggesting the Sea is the shape of a harp. Others say that the sounds that come off of the Sea sound like those of a harp. In the gospels of Matthew and Mark, it is referred to as the “Sea of Galilee” or “the Sea.” Luke calls it “the Lake” or the “Lake of Gennesaret.” John refers to it as the “Sea of Tiberas” in a couple places. Josephus referred to the Lake as the “Lake of Gennesar” The Plain of Ginnosar is an area on the west side of the Sea of Galilee known for its fertility. According to the writings of Josephus, “there is not a plant which its fertile soil refused to produce.”

It is the largest fresh water lake in Israel, measuring seven and one half miles long and thirteen miles wide at its widest. The Kinneret is the lowest fresh water lake on the earth at 705 to 686 feet below sea level. The only lake lower on the planet is the Dead Sea, but that is salt, not fresh water. The lake is fed by the run off from Mt Hermon and the springs located on the slopes of Mt. Hermon.

The Sea of Galilee is located in the Rift valley, a fault line that runs from the Levant through the entire length of the African continent.

Important towns on the ancient Galilee (west coast)

• Tiberias

• Magdala

• Gennesaret

• Tagbha

• Capernaum

• Bethsaida

Towns we hear about in the scripture are all Jewish-occupied towns. Of course, there was a Greco-Roman presences because Rome was occupying the land at this time. The east coast of the Galilee during the time of Jesus was Gentile. It is this area that is often referred to as the Decapolis (ten cities in Greek).

Why is the lake important?

George Adam Smith in his important work, The Historical Geography of the Holy Land, says this, of the Galilee region: “Imagine that wealth of water, that fertility, those nerves and veins of the volcano, those great highways that numerous population, that commerce and industry, those strong Greek influences–imagine them all crowded into a deep valley, under an almost tropical heat, and round a great blue lake, and you have before you the conditions in which Christianity arose and Christ Himself chiefly laboured.”

Rabbis said, “Jehovah hath created seven seas, but the Sea of Gennesaret is His delight.”

But why is the Sea important to the Biblical narrative? It was not terribly prominent in the Hebrew Bible, but in the New Testament, much of Yeshua’s (Jesus’) ministry takes place around and on this lake.