Among his points which you should read:

The industry convinces itself that video isn’t just an opportunity, but the future—the only future—and suddenly EVERY podcast needs cameras, lighting, a studio, video editors, shorts/clips, and a YouTube strategy (okay, admittedly, this part has pretty much already happened).

All of that costs money. A lot of money

Well, at least now I feel heard and there are two of us taking on Hans Gruber and the Group Think.

Netflix has renewed their “podcasts” - Variety reports: On Tuesday, Netflix said it is renewing its entire original lineup of video podcasts for additional episodes. That includes true-crime show “Murder With My Husband”; talk show “The Pete Davidson Show” hosted by the “Saturday Night Live” alum; pop-culture interview show “Shut Up Evan” hosted by Evan Ross Katz; “The Puzzle Room With David Kwong”; and “Allegedly,” a true-crime podcast from NBC News correspondent Ellison Barber.

None of that sounds like you and your buddy do an X-Files Rewatch Podcast in the basement, perhaps even with video. It sounds like big media companies, backed by CAA/WME talent, with full video production teams and full marketing teams.

As for me, I stopped doing my little “casual video” experiments after three weeks of playing around in August. Aside from my content being so terrible that nobody would ever want to consume it, what I was finiding is it was making my metrics worse, and because of that ( I guess) Youtube wasn’t even surfacing my thumbnailed audio podcasts. Like it was showing them to like nine people, way down from olden times when I had just connected the RSS and walked away and didn’t even try. Nine, in an era where if you are even within half a mile of someone else’s Youtube app it counds as a view. I don’t mean nine views, I mean nine thumbnail impressions. I also fond that using YT’s recommended clips was making things worse. Look folks, I got other things to do which actually make money.

What was crazier, is since I had been making the short video clips, I posted the audio to my Old Timey RSS Feed and guess what - obviously my show got more downloads (more content, more downloads) but I also was getting more overall listeners, even though the listeners couldn’t see the video of my pool robot cleaning the leaves which I was narrating between comedy stories. All so strange.

Anyway resources = Time, moiney, humans and I continue to see my best ROI is to make good audio podcasts.

Question: If Howard Stern interviews celebrities and we film it and put it on HBO Max, is that not a podcast? If it is not a podcast why is Pete Davidson’s thing a podcast?

New topic. Is anyone actually talking about HLS video, or just the one Chosen Company that Apple chose to feature?

New topic. Here’s a question: why are so many podcast dramas so cheesy? The acting is always a little too over the top. The soundscape a little too over the top. I checked one out yesterday, and if you’re paying attention you will correctly guess which one but I don’t want to offend some friends, and it just didn’t work. I also think whoever wrote it did not experience the day depicted, whereas I quite did, which further took me out of the story.

Behind the scenes, I logged in this morning to fisih off this post and discovered Substack had eaten most of it and not saved a bunch of changes. That affects out What I Am Listening to segment, because I deleted the notes after writing the post.

From memory - I was digging Rock Solid, a music podcast that plays lots of music and has battles. I enjoyed Genesis (the album, the album that I think of as “the yellow one” vs Peter Gabriel’s So.) Since Rock Solid plays a lot of music, they don’t seem to be on Spotify. As I have mentioned before, Apple presently won’t embed on Substack, and since I can’t embed Spotify on this one - well. here’s what you’re looking for.

So you want THAT Rock Solid, and not THESE Rock Solids.

I also enjoyed this next discussion. Like many things I listen to, I didn’t agree with all the things said (especially the guest’s guess on the next President) but it was enjoyable.

Then, in the original draft, I went to self-promote and mis-spelled one of our show’s as Palace Intrugue with a u, and was surprised that Spotify surfaced it……

…I am also annoyed that Spotify shows artwork like this now. Is this because we tried posting video once or twice so now we are a “video podcast” except we are not? Anyway it makes the thumbnail look like garbage. Spotify is maddening, is it not?

Maybe the Canadians will like how it looks.

Anyway, all THAT made me think about my rant a few weeks back where I had to type in the exact name of Bill Maher’s podcast in order for it to come up. Since “Palace Intruge” came up, I thought I’d try Maher again, and it appears Spotify fixed it! Maybe they read my missives. Hi Spotify! At least they made Bill’s thubnail look crappy too.

How about some Daily Comedy News?

Or 5 Good News Stories?

And that’s it for today. I feel like I left something out that was in the first draft that got eaten, but there’s always the next post when I remember.

My queue this morning stands at 69 episodes (98 hours and 12 min) which includes 5 r so morning QCs, the 17 history episodes I mentioned on Sunday, and some new stuff from Rob & Elise and Rob Greenlee (both podcasts about podcasts ifkyk).

Bye.

While 52 episodes and 84 hours seems like a lot, it’s down from over 200 hours. AND of those 52 episodes and 84 hours, 17 of those are episodes of History That Doesn’t Suck that I have downloaded for the long dog walks.

What I am noticing is I am not adding anything new. I’m finding Apple’s recommendations totally uninteresting, even when the algo is suggesting things based on my listening. And I am NEVER going to watch HLS Video on the Apple app so you can stop with that nonsense right now.

Pocketcasts is doing OK with their recommendations, but still nothing is grabbing me.

I believe I listen to more podcasts than 99% of the population. From memory, today alone, I QC’d about five of my own, two or three Historys, three episodes of the Tom Hanks thing, a sports pod with Todd Radom as the guest, an episode of Revolutions, and two half-episodes of Weekly Planet that I deleted midway. SO thats probably 7 hours of content at 2.3x

Is nobody making anything? Some of those History That Doesn’t Suck are from 2018 because I went back and grabbed American Revolution stuff, USA250 and all.

Where are the good new podcasts? Or did everyone just decide to have CAA Repped Celebrities interview other CAA Repped Celebrities on Netflix and Podcasting is actually dead.

I think it might be dead.

Not dead-dead. Like I’m making a living, but maybe because I’m one of the few making podcasts, so they aren’t totally dead yet. AI tells me “Approximately 2.4 million new episodes are added to the ecosystem every 30 days, averaging about one new episode globally every 0.9 seconds.” Well, wherever they are, they aren’t finding me.

Got any listening recs?

I was straightening up a little and came across an orphaned CD. Pal McCartney, Egyt Station, pretty good late-period Macca album. I realized I don’t have a CD player in my new car. Times change. I don’t have a CD player on my laptop, unless I power up my circa 2010 (!!!) Windows machine. I think I have a CD player somewhere in the basement storage area, keeping my old 1980s comic books copmany, but really nothing to connect the CD player to. If I could find some wired headphones, with a quarter-inch plug adaptor, I guess I could sit right next to the CD player and listen. All of that seems so strange to say out loud. Times change.

My body is feeling a little beat up today. I doubled up yesterday, humblebrag, with the morning run and the a 4 mile dog walk in the afternoon - nothing out of the ordinary, as I do that combo several times a week, but today my body is tired and there’s a volleyball game at 6:30.

I did the normal coffee run and QCd Daily Comedy News, almost making it to the end, but have decided not to run this morning. I realized that I probably won’t luisten to anything else today, and that strikes me as odd. I guess I usally have some carve out of time, but today I don’t think I have one! My queue stands at 78 episodes/102 hours.

I have been watching one podcasters storyline with interest. I like the show, I like the person, and I think the person is in for a surprise. They have moved to a new place, and appear to have lofty dreams of all this Youtube money that’s going to come in. I also saw their launch strategy including “and you can listen on Amazon!” which tells me there is no launch strategy or at least whoever is behind this has no idea what they are doing.

I taught my first college class of the semeseter on Monday, and had a very engaged group. None of these students had even heard of Pod Save America. Fascinating.

A funny thing happened on the way to Video. I started doing these casual three minute videos. Vertical, on my phone, not worrying too much about it. A few days in, my friend Matt Hevia (who has his own podcasting substack) were having a nice text chat, and Matt helped me find my muse, and my muse is 1982 David Letterman. I am by no means whatsoever 1982 David Letterman, but the conversation gave me the idea to get weirder, so I started incorporating things like filming my Pool Robot in and around the comedy news riffs. I’m probably hurting the alogirthms and decreasing my viewtime and all that but I don’t care.

Now here’s what I find fascinating. These are not getting a lot of views. Possibly because some idiot is filming his pool robot instead of getting to the comedy news. But since they exist I am using the AUDIO and sticking them in my Old Timey RSS feed and these episodes are getting listens, even though you can’t SEE the pool robot.

I have my AI Stat Tracker keeping an eye on things - am I cluttering up the feed, is it hurting the numbers….and so far three weeks in, all I am seeing are increased number of downloads consumptions listens. Thus, I will keep doing the video because it’s helping the audio.

Someone out there is now yelling YEAH DUMMY, YOUTUBE IS FOR DISCOVERY. Is it? Are the FOUR views driving hundreds of downloads? Youube tells me they only showed it to 12 people (impressions tab), and it did generate one channel subscriber….so one out of 4 subscribed to the channel, but Youtube won’t show it to anyone.

It’s all maddening and weird, but I am having fun finding quirks so I will keep doing it under my “no rules, no stress” philopsophy (lie this Substack) of not worrying about it.

Neal Veglio must have sensed my pain…note this episode title.

Neal is on a good groove with that pod right now, add it to your queue.

Maybe I need to pay more attention to Colin & Samir who explained The new Rules of Youtube. This was a good listen.

Meghan and Harry have been keeping me super busy with Palace Intrigue. We have enough content to do three epsiodes a day, but only do two because one needs to give the listener a chance to consume them.

One of my students asked me why I don’t just do longer epsiodes, and I don’t think that’s crazy, but my sense is that a few stories about Meghan are fun, but if we did 17 stories about Meghan it might seem “enough already.”

The way I write the show, I theme the topics - so an episode might be all King Charles Quirky Stories (he is quite quirky and there are a lot of these) or an episode all about Kate Middleton Being Wonderful (my ususal go-to for Saturday episodes)

It was nice to listen to someone else’s Royal Content, and I really enjoyed guest Robert Hardman.

It was fun listening to Kenny Chesney learn there was a Ray Charles version of a song Kenny covered…

I mentioned this one last week, but it’s been my go to on the dog walks. Tom Hanks, who totally isn’t AI and definitely nobody used AI pickups, keeps going back and forth saying Jappa-knees and Jappa-niece, and I must say both his German and Japanese pronunciation is excellent. Shade aside, it’s a good listen for something that’s really a good TV show.

OK I have to record some 5GNS or the show won’t exist after Saturday. TTYL.

If you spend enough time around me as a co-worker, or a student, you will eventually hear me say, “Sometimes ya gotta work.”

For me, this is one of those times.

Among other things, I am the writer on the Palace Intrigue Podcast.

It had been a quiet August. The Royals usually head to their family retreat and there isn’t much news. After writing this for years, I have also gotten pretty good at sniffing out Actual News (more on that in a second) and, for lack of a better term, Fake News.

There’s always a royal story to be found. Prince William is “furious” about soemthing (quote the trope) or Meghan went on Instagram and people are making fun of her post. Google “Prince Andrew” (former) and something will pop up.

I grew up as a producer, which makes me a planner. I study trends - which days get more downloads and which days have higher CPMs. I also love the summer. Around all that, I plan.

Earlier in the week I planned the weekend. There were “can wait’ stories like the one analyzing Kate Middleton’s current shade of brown hair. (“Bronde” by the way).

Not bad stories, just not A-Level Stories. Perfectly fine for page two of a sumemr Saturday script. The weekend was handed in on Tuesday, as always subject to change.

Change came in the form of a text from my wife around 5pm Wednesday. She shared a story from PEOPLE that said Harry & Meghan are moving back to the UK. In terms of Roayl News, that’s the Super Bowl.

And so, one works.

I spent four hours this morning going through it all and pulling scripts for host Mark Francis to record.

None of that was working on Daily Comedy News (which has had a great week), or finishing off my show The Weekly Comedy Thing I do for Live One. It’s definitely not working on my syllabus for college which starts Monday night. It’s also not cutting the grass or getting the algae out of the pool, but I did give the dog a bath.

And it’s most defintiely not kayaking, which was today’s original plan.

We have a hot topic. My experience in Talk Radio taught me when you have a hot topic, ride it, beat the horse to death, and then ride the horse for another hour. I know a consultant or two who disagreed on that, but I also think said consultant or two ever spent a single hour in a studio.

None of this is working in The Salt Mines. I’m outside, which is far better than a previous life that involved a sentence in a Manhattan Office Building sandwiched between two 2-hour commutes. I am blessed.

Harry and Meghan are coming home. I can edit some shows under the sun-umbrella. Might even cut the grass later.

Sometimes ya gotta work.

Don’t throw your phone in the lake. Just don’t use Spotify. Stay with me.

Oh my where to begin. I guess with how I originally planned, by saluting Dave Jackson for handing in the Podcast Episode of the Year. The first section is wonderful where Dave walks you through how your Video Podcast is probably going to make $3. (I think the stat was 90% of creators make under $10,000 a year.)

Dave also talked about the number of plays he gets on video and it is numbers like (from memory) 40.

Then Dave does a wonderful takedown of all the things Spotify announced over the years and then got bored with. Great work sir!

At this moment I feel like I should mention that I am embedding Spotify because the ability to embed Apple pods on Substack hasn’t been working for me. Techinally. Spritiually it does.

We’ll do some more What I’ve Been Listening To later in this article

What’s cracking me up is this (via Techcrunch)

YouTube announced on Monday that it’s changing how views are counted on its platform, with a view now counting as soon as a video starts playing or someone enters a live broadcast. Although the Google-owned platform never disclosed how it previously counted views, it was generally understood that a view was counted after a user watched at least 30 seconds of a video.

A different site described it as counting if you watch one frame. One Frame. AI tells me there are 900 frames in a 30 second video. Sounds like the AMP Accords are 900x too complicated.

Anyway, what are we even doing? Now we ave Feel Good About Yourself metrics where we all lie to ourselves that anything is being actually consumed so Neal Mohan can tell investors there were 100 Zillion Views last month.

I am continuing to experiment with short vertical videos, shot on my phone. They are relatively easy to do, but one thing I haven’t solved is - I am repurposing the audio on my RSS feed (LISTEN TO ME. WE ALL BECOME WHAT WE HATE!!!!!!!!) but then the RSS feeds the audio-of-the-video to the YT channel so I have two versions of the same thing and then have to remember to delete the audio-of-the-video. I guess HLS would eliminate that step but Spreaker still hasn’t added Delegated Delivery so don’t hold your breath waiting for them to add HLS, and I am not risking moving my monetized shows to another host so I can make $2.25 in Youtube money if I ever get to the 4000 8000 hours.

Oh, and since I have the video I might as well upload it to Spotify…but it’s vertical so Spotify won’t like it and the vertical thumbnail I made isn’t compatible with Spotify so now I need two thumbnails and EFF THIS.

On the nice side, it allows me to touch on some stories faster, more casually, than sitting down to the proper podcast. It’s an experiment. We shall see.

On to what I am listening to…

The Sound Off Podcast had some really good thoughts about the cuurrent state of podcasting. I will say that it made me suspect about Spotify’s Search Engine. I absolutely could not find this by searching for it. I had to Google it, go to the Sound Off Website and use their link to get me to this embed. Similarly, I find that “New Media Show” with our without “The” doesn’t get me to Rob Greenlee’s show unless I add “Rob Greenlee” to the search.

To make me laugh more I wanted to tell you how much I am digging Neal Veglio’s work but I couldn’t remember what his pod is called so I searched for “Neal Veglio.” THAT turned up the Sound Off Podcast epsiode with Neal. LOL. I better search for Johnny Mac…

…whew. Or is it coming up because I follow myself?

Anyway Neal’s show is Podmastery…

This Tom Hanks WWII thing has been great company on my dog walks. I guess it’s “really” a TV show but the audio works really fine (while my eyes are busy),

I can’t imagine they used AI Tom Hanks at points, but I do find it interesting Mr. Hanks sometimes uses the prnounciation Jappa-knees and sometimes Jappa-niece. Regardless I am enjoying it.

Oh my, Spotify’s search really IS atrocious..

No, like REALLY REALLY Atrocious.

Seems you have to search for the full “Club Random with Bill Maher” assuming you even know that’s the name of the show. Anyway, Bill had on a good guest about The Beatles.

And that whole search thing…..Dave Jackson just put out the podcast episode of the year.

Now you may say, John, the original Star Trek did things like “Nazi Planet” and “Old West Planet” and “Roman Empire Planet”, and you would be correct.

SNW is doing “Horror Movie episode” and “Film Noir Episode” and in the worst episode of the season (so far) “What if The Hangover was a Star Trek episode?” I say so far because the “What of the crew were turned into Muppets?” episode is coming.

TOS was in a creative box. Keep the budgets down. So we wound up with episodes that could use existing back lot sets. “A Piece of the Action”is having fun using a backlot city set pretending to be a version of Al Capone Chicago In Space.

Where TOS gets it right, and SNW gets it wrong, is that our characters take the scenario seriously. Shatner is chewing scenery in this one, but Kirk is just outsmarting the antagonists. Yes its fun/funny, but Kirk is still Kirk.

SNW starts with the premise of “what if we made The Hangover” and it undercuts the reality of the characters. It just doesn’t work when Pike shows up to a negotiation with a ridiculous face tattoo. It undercuts the seriousness of the character. The writers are telling us they don’t care about Star Trek, they just wanted to do The Hangover but since they work on Star Trek, they make the characters unbelievable. They take the serious character of Number One and have her sing Total Eclipse of the Heart…in Klingon….because hahaha hilarious.

Which brings me to Bread and Circuses.

Kirk’s Enterprise shows up at Roman Empire 20th Century planet. We get a great screener chewing antagonist in Proconsul Cladium (basically the emperor)….

…and we learn that the Gladiator games still exist…but now they are a TV show. Filmed on a set.

Let’s get into the WHY. Sure, it kinda makes sense that the Gladiator games would be a TV show. In the world of producing an episode of Star Trek in 1966, it makes sense because it allows the scene to look the way it does. We don’t question it looking cheap. It’s supposed to be cheap.

If SNW had come up with “Let’s do Gladiator!” I have no doubt we would find Pike and Spock in some CGI rendered Coliseum. That version of the episode would be about the spectacle, and this is where SNW is getting it wrong.

Bread and Circuses works because it’s driven by dialogue. The Proconsul knows Kirk has to follow the rules of Starfleet, and uses them against him.

Claudius Marcus: Now, Captain, what are you going to order your men to do?

Capt. Kirk: If I brought down a hundred of them armed with phasers...

Claudius Marcus: ...you could probably defeat the combined armies of our entire empire - and violate your oath regarding non-interference with other societies. I believe you all swear you’ll die, before you’d violate that directive. Am I right?

The episode isn’t about the swords, it’s about the characters. Kirk doesn’t look at the camera and say “Are you not entertained?” Kirk takes the scenario seriously.

The episode takes place in just a few rooms, the tv studio, and a jail cell straight out of Andy Griffith.

It works because we live with the characters and the dialogue.

SNW does “Jurassic Park” and decides to have a character punch a dinosaur in the nose. It does Muppets. It does a musical. What it rarely does, is Star Trek.

Before we get to my attention getting headline, we begin today in the middle of the night. I have just woken up from a radio stress dream. This is the dream where I haven’t pulled enough records.

As I type this, at 12:35am with my system still racing, I realize that younger readers probably have no idea what “pull records” means.

Without going total old-man and explaining what a record is, in olden times last century you would need to prepare the music you planned to play on your radio show. There would be a room (the “record library” or “the closet” or such) where the records lived. You’d get to work early and grab what you would need to cover your shift.

In the stress dream, I haven’t done the prep, so I have about four minutes to grab something before the current record runs out and make my way back to the studio.

My version of the dream usually has me “back” at some radio station where I used to work, and not all that familiar with the current library, which slows me down. Inevitably I wind up having to do a jock break while I cue up the one record I pulled. And then the cycle repeats and there’s 4 minutes to go again.

I haven’t done a jock shift in nearly 40 years now so this dream is absurd, and yet I’ve had it twice this week.

The crazy part is that I’m not stressed….but I think the podcast industry IS stressed (segue!), way more than people realize.

I keep staring at my queue. It’s now down to 75 shows and 108 hours, with most of he hours coming from longer thngs like Rogan and Carlin. 75 shows down from around 200, with that dip in the last few months.

As I mentioned last week, I feel like nobody is making anything new.

Podcasting, now defined as a CAA celebrity interviewing another CAA celebrity on video, is nothing but low budget tv shows (to borrow a Cridlandism)

And I don’t think that’s going to get better.

Last week we had the Spotify “Kill Monetization” button - I think they called it skip ahead - but this week we have this YT announcement. New creators applying for Youtube Partnership Program will need 8,000 qualified watch hours in the last 365 days, or 20 million qualified Shorts views in the last 90 days. The folks at Think Media explained it well here…

I pondered what that would mean for someone starting out. The industry just spent three years telling everyone to make Youtube videos. Let’s say you and your friend want to make a weekly one hour X-Files Recap Show, or maybe it’s This Week In Stamp Collecting or whatever floats your boat as you compete with Amy Poehler talking to Will Ferrell and getting covered in The Hollywood Reporter. We’ll keep your setup simple and you and your friend can use Zoom/Riverside/Squadcast/Live on Youtube.

I asked my ClaudeBot (trained in my voice) to look at what “8000 hours” means for a basement podcaster. JohnnyMacBot says:

The math is pretty bleak once you work it out.

8,000 hours = 480,000 minutes of watch time in a year.

For your weekly one-hour X-Files recap show: you’re posting 52 episodes a year. To hit 8,000 hours, you need 480,000 minutes of watch time spread across those 52 episodes — which is about 9,230 minutes per episode, or roughly 154 people watching your entire episode every single week.

Except nobody watches an entire hour. YouTube retention on long-form content is typically 20-40%. So at 30% retention:

• Each viewer delivers ~18 minutes (30% of 60)

• To get 9,230 minutes per episode, you need ~512 views per episode

• At 20% retention you need ~770 views per episode

That’s just to qualify. Not to earn meaningful money — just to apply.

For context: the old bar was 4,000 hours. YouTube just doubled it.

Three years ago the entire creator economy ecosystem was telling people “just start posting, the monetization will follow.” Now the platform is moving the goalposts on people who did exactly that — built something real, but small — right as the algorithm also de-emphasizes the kind of long-form niche content they were encouraged to make.

Your X-Files recap show now needs 500 loyal weekly viewers just to raise its hand.

I asked the bot: How much money can they make?

Not much.

YouTube pays creators via RPM (revenue per thousand views, after YouTube’s 45% cut). For niche entertainment — your X-Files recap, your stamp collecting show — realistic RPM is $2-4.

Working from the numbers above: 500 views per episode × 52 episodes = 26,000 views a year.

At $3 RPM: $78.

That’s the year. That’s the check. Seventy-eight dollars.

To put it another way: if you and your friend spend 5 hours a week on your show — filming, editing, uploading, writing descriptions — that’s 260 hours of labor a year. Your YouTube ad revenue works out to about 30 cents an hour.

To make minimum wage from YouTube alone at that viewership level, you’d need an RPM roughly 200 times higher than what niche entertainment content actually gets.

The finance and investing channels that podcast Twitter loves to cite? They get $15-20 RPM because advertisers are paying to reach people with money. Your X-Files audience is not, in the eyes of a TD Ameritrade ad buyer, the same opportunity.

The deeper joke here — and this is what makes the 8,000 hour threshold so darkly funny — is that the bar to qualify requires an audience large enough to make the actual payout feel like an insult. You don’t get in the door until you’ve already built something real, and then the reward is a check you’d be embarrassed to show anyone.

Your math and opinions may vary, but I offer the above as an entry-way into discussion. Even if the math is off by a factor of 1000, that’s $78,000 minus taxes. Sure you can do Youtube for DISCOVERY and what not, but I think right now the bang isn’t there for he buck, which might be why my podcast queue is drying up. Why would anyone make anything, except for the love of the game.

The big money players came to town, and they are the ones speaking to Variety, and they are the ones speaking at the podcasting conferences.

But how are YOU doing?

I did come away from Podcast Show London thinking there was som evalue to doing Casual Video, and this week I am trying to be less Old Man and experiment a bit. I am choosing to do mine from the backyward, and shooting vertical. Basically I am riffing for a few minutes about whatever I talked about on the main audio podcast, and I am having fun doing it.

The actual production is easy. The hard part comes in finding the three minutes between all the usual podcast production, the actual lucrative Substacks, and the Husband Assignment Of The Say (for example, today “ends” at 2:30.)

So far this hasn’t gotten me to 8000 hours.

On to what I am listening to!

I really enjoyed this convo between Rob Greenlee and my elevator friend Steven Goldstein. (We were on the same breakfast schedule in London. I bet the backtiming part of that goes back to us both being radio guys. The conference is at 10am…5 minute walk..half an hour to eat…etc)

Sounds Profitable did a nice preview of - sorry guys - whatever the NYC Podcast Conference is called. I should know, but I don’t. Podcast Moevement? Is it Podcast Moevement? It’s Podcast Moevement. I could edit this paragraph but that’s no fun.

I wrote a bot I call “Caloroga Boss” which is programmed to both be annoying, and to be a logical Spock to my Kirk. I self describe as being from The Captain Kirk School Of Management which is - declare we are heading somewhere, then sit calmly in the comfoy chair while the team figures it out Stay calm. You aren’t out of time until you are actually out of time (that served me quite well at Sirius). Scotty will fix teh engines in time and Spock will find a solution.

So Caloroga Boss nagged me to get promos on for Daily Crime & Justice and to roadbloack them (a term meaning run them on everything, in the first position.) Whadda ya know - a combo of a hot news story and the promo has this one up 87%. Thanks Caloroga Boss!

Boss also has us promoting Trivia in the 2 slot. Up 27%.

This next show is 95% AI generated and I am quite impressed by the creative choices the bots make, and the presentation. Go ahead and judge it. I will put it up against the SlopCo stuff any day.

During the World Cup I had this at 100%, meaning I didn’t touch it AT ALL, but I am presently retraining the bot for a different enws cycle, so until we get a few weeks into the Premeier League, I sign off on the rundown before it makes and publishes itself.

As I have mentioned before, this is the third iteration of this podcast, and the first two versions didn’t make sense in terms of Time/Humans/Money resources, but with me quickly approving the script, and evetually not at all, that’s a business.

Somebody (me) better record the 12 unproduced scripts or this show will end on the 16th!

I have enjoyed The Rest Is Entertainment trying to fool a fellow magician. They have done a fair amount of pre-taping this summer (no shame in that) but I can hear the seams, especially on the mailbag episodes where the audio seems to jump from session to session, and some of Marina Hyde’s throws to break are welded on.

Regardless, this was a fun episode.

That’s all for today as I sit outside enjoying the cicadas. You can hear one at the end of today’s DCN Poolside Edition.

Let me know in the comments if you’re ready to admit Podcasting Is Dying before our eyes.

A podcast is a video show hosted by a celebrity represented by CAA, interviewing another celebrity represented by CAA, most likely on Netflix, but maybe only on Youtube.

Everything else is not a podcast. With this definitive definition, the advertising industry and the platforms have what they want, and we can all go back to whatever it is we we’re doing before LA agents got interested in podcast money and started feeding stories to the Hollywood Reporter.

In Tuesday’s Podnews, James Cridland had me get my horses up before I had coffee after I read this item about Spotify. You may know Spotify from such things as Spotify For Creators.

The tool, called “Skip Ahead”, is available for Premium users in selected markets, and enables them to skip entire ad breaks, intros, sponsorship messages, and even mentions of premium subscriptions. In our tests, a “Skip Ahead” button appears on-screen as soon as an ad-break starts. Just one tap of the “Skip Ahead” button moves a listener to the beginning of the next section, after the ads have finished. It only appears for ads, promos or intros.

So what you would do is you would play a podcast, perhaps mine as an example, and then you would skip over the ads. Over time, the advertisers will notice that the ads are less effective so they will pay less for them. I will find myself homeless and starving. Thanks Spotify for destroying my business.

OK, I guess I will have to just try to get people to pay for my content. Do better content John, people will pay for it.

Well my friend, James also tells us the below. Why have your AI do this??? (per Cridland)

… the “skip ahead” button also appears for content promoting premium subscriptions. Spotify isn’t just encouraging listeners to skip the ads - it’s also encouraging them to skip other methods of creator monetisation as well.

I keep picturing a mob boss calling Spotify in for a meeting and just saying, “You know what you did.” Similarly, when I worked with comedian Jim Breuer, he would say (on his radio show), “Don’t be a dick. You know what a dick is. Don’t be a dick.”

Hey Spotify, don’t be a dick.

Yes, we all know some/many people are hitting 30 second skip. But also sometimes not. Why elevate this?

You’re messing with the money. Why? Do you want smaller and independent creators to go away, so that the world is just The Ringer?

I also find is amusing that Spotify was part of the secret meeting AMP Accords. If you’re not familiar with the AMP accords: The AMP Accords are a podcast industry framework released in July 2026 by the Alliance for Measurement in Podcasting (AMP). They went out of their way to define what a “play” is so that we could tell the advertisers what they are paying for…except for the pesky Spotify “skip ahead” button.

It it possible the Accordians had a traitor in their midst? I wasn’t at the secret meetings so I have no way of knowing.

As a focus group of one. I feel like something is “off” in podcasting right now. I am watching my personal queue get smaller and smaller. If you have been reading for a while, we’ve seen my list get to over 200 hours. Right now, it’s the lowest it has been in some time.

96 episodes - about five of those are internal morning QC listens.

96 is a lot, 138 hours is a lot, but both numbers are half what they were just a few months ago.

Granted, I have been running this summer which helps knock out a few pods every day, plus listenign poolsode and oceanside, but I feel like “nobody” is making anything new and interesting. I feel like few are making seasonal podcasts. I feel like everything is just Interview Show now, and a lot of it just doesn’t interest me.

Then there is, of course, the video of it all. As an example, I tried Katee Sackhoff’s Battlestar Galactica rewatch, and had to bail because she’s clearly doing a video show and kept talking about what was on the screen. Unlistenable. In olden times, this show would have been a proper audio podcast, and I probably would have ten of these in my queue.

At this point, I wish to embed the show. Apple no longer embeds on Substack, and I tried several other apps to no avail. If you have a solution to this let me know, but in the mean time I will hold my nose and embed Spotify.

I very much enjoy The Critical Drinker. He is one of the pop-culture guys from Youtube that I enjoy, and I use some apps to rip his videos down to audio and listen to them on my phone. In this case, he was on a podcast so I didn’t have to do that.

One of my heroes, David Letterman!

And your daily does of comedy news!

And I will leave you with this. If you want to listen to Bill Simmons, you might need a new phone! Look at this file size!!! Almost half a gig. For an audio version of a Netflix show, produced by Spotify.

By the way, let me make this clear to Bill and Spotify. I am skipping every single ad in this episode. Not listening to a single one. Not supporting the advertisers. Not paying for premium. Not watching on Netflix. Nothing. I will, as they say, Skip Ahead.

I feel like every time I have been on LinkedIn lately, I am served a video from someone who was at the Fancy Creator Conference In Cannes. These people all seem to be on the beach and have something to say about podcasting. Must be nice.

I think these posts are a good representation of where the inudtsy is right now. We have the Amp Accordians having Secret Meetings, and for the most part worrying about how big companies and Hollywood agencies can make money from advertising. At the other end we have Adam Curry and the Pod Hippies who think podcasting is all free man and it’s about the creative (read in your hippie head voice). Is 30 seconds really meaningful, or is that probably just a preroll being half-consumed at double speed. I know they mean well, but I’m not sure the Accords mean anything at all other than it gave the industry something to talk about for a few days.

Is the reality not somewhere in the middle. Isn’t there a whole - punch me for this phrase - middle class of podcasters who both like money but also aren’t going to be signed to CAA, invited to Secret Meetings, or get Netflix deals?

In all the arguments about What Is A Podcast, we’ve kind of lost sight of what most of us are doing.

On to What I’m Listening To.

My queue is at a stunningly “low” 91 episodes. I am often over 200. I wondered about that, and I think it’s because “podcast” now means CAA repped celebrities interviewing other CAA repped celebrities. It feels like nobody is making shows recapping Silo or whatnot, of if they are they are The Official Corporate AppleTV Silo Podcast, or maybe these shows exist and just don’t get surfaced. Maybe discovery isn’t dead, maybe there isn’t anything left to discover? Is anyone making “Serial” these days? I dunno. Let’s see what Apple is promoting…

Yeah no. Oh, in case you thought I was kidding earlier about the CAA people interviewing CAA people….I asked Chat-GPT which told me

• Ina Garten – Creative Artists Agency (CAA)⁠ (representation for books/media and speaking)

• Allison Janney – Creative Artists Agency (CAA)⁠ for acting representation.

• Jon Batiste – United Talent Agency (UTA)⁠ for representation;

• Michael Barbaro – Represented by The New York Times for media appearances rather than a traditional Hollywood talent agency in most cases.

• Hoda Kotb – Creative Artists Agency (CAA)⁠ represents her for books and speaking engagements.

See you guys at Cannes, with all the other regular podcasters!

I decided to unsubscribe unfollow unconsume Richard Deistch’s podcast. After getting ONE episode correct when it comes to audio, they handed in an epsiode where Richard himself sounded like garbage on his own podcast. Rather than get upset about it and ranting each week, I have decided to get this one off my phone.

Speaking of enshittification, Trevor Noah had Cory Doctorow on to discuss how everything has gotten work. Cory does have some Greatest Hits he does in all his interviews, but this was a good version of it.

More with Cory, but the Trevor episode was better.

State Quarters!

Fun empty calories!

Wow, John Seda is a good actor because he sounds nothing like Detective Falsone!

Good Inside Baseball podcast stuff with Rob Greenlee and Steve Wilson. Rob has done a nice job making the show his, but there are days when I really wish we could have an old-style Todd Cochrane rant like this one AI made up, “Every ten years, some giant media company discovers podcasting, and suddenly the headlines act like podcasting just got invented. No. It didn’t.”

Recorded a bunch of these because it was raining.

That’s it for today. I’m heading to The Monaco Podcast Leadership Retreat, followed by The Hamptons Podcast Symposium then it’s off to Davos for The Davos of Podcasting. I’ll also be in NYC for Podcast Movement in September if you want to invite me to a Secret Meeting.

Let’s start with Mick Jagger.

The other day I was out for a run and listening to a podcast about podcasting, I think it was the New Media Show with guest Steve Wilson (will cover that on Wednesday in the weekly podcasting piece) and it got me thinking about Video Podcasting and all that. That topic usually leads to me worrying about if I have become a dinosaur or not, and then I remind myself that Caloroga had a great week for downloads plays streams consumptions (is that what we’re dong now?!), and right now I am writing to you from the lake house that audio paid for.

As usual, the more I thought about it, the more I decided to stay in my own lane. I’ll let the big companies fight this all out, and I will wait and see what Youtube does with AI Audio Visualization, and until then I am going to take the kayak out.

We’ll get to Mick, don’t worry.

Tomorrow, Daily Comedy News turns 7! My dashboard tells me that’s 2644 episodes (that includes some bonus episodes for you guys doing math, and I think the 2644 includes that I pretaped through Tuesday.)

When I look at the download play stream consumption numbers, yeah I probably would have imagined the show being bigger than it is by now, but on the other hand I’m staring at the lake, and the show does make what I call “enough” money, and most importantly to me, it’s a creative outlet.

We have a nice Facebook Group, and last week several of the listeners said nice things about the show, and it means so much to get notes like that, and to know there are other people at the other end of the speakers.

This week, with some awesome weather, I did Poolside Editions. I enjoy these because, especially given the format, I can lean into the cicadas, landscapers, Scott the Neighbor picking up branches, and whatever else happens during a recording. It’s me, a USB mic, plugged into a MacBook M1, Logic Pro to Descript to the old wonderful Auphonic Leveler (which is why I still use the M1 and not my newer machine, as it does not run on newer machines) and the audio is really good. It’s amazing how some big shows (I will play nice today and not spotlight them) put out crappy audio and a simple audio chain sitting by the pool sounds fine. If anything, I need to lessen the noise reduction to get more cicadas. And yes, I placed the ad-markers correctly, what do you think this is, The Ringer?

What about Mick Jagger?????

Oh yeah, between the New Media Show and the Daily Comedy News Anniversary, I started thinking that even if DCN takes off tomorrow, I am still 56 years old. I could get what, 10 years out of it? 15?

Then I thought about Mick Jagger. 82 years old and just put out a GREAT album. Not great for 82. Just great. Doing what he loves to do, and he’s good at it.

So maybe I have 25 more years of DCN. Or Podcasts will go the way of radio and newspapers. Or we all start making holodeck shows and only dinosaurs are on Youtube and iPhones. Or I will train my voice clone on Eleven Labs and write a really good AI Agent which lets “Johnny Mac” host the show for decades to come while John stares at a lake and gets old. We’re a lot closer to that working than you guys realize. Ignore Deception Joint’s slop and give me six more months of experimenting with my self-generating soccer show and we’ll see how close we can get.

New topic.

Right music, right environment.

This morning, a sunny July morning, moonroof open, I drove back country roads to the lake, listening to Paul McCartney’s newest album again. I think someone must have erased my brain because I felt like I was listening to some of these songs for the first time. I can tell you I “heard’ some for the first time, specifically the lead-off track As You Lie There.

This is an album that works as a whole, on back roads, on a sunny morning in July, with the roof open. It’s not going to work stuck in traffic on the Cross Bronx Expressway, nor it it Jersey Shore Garden State Parkway music (that’s for the Pirates and Parrots playlist of Jimmy, Kenny, Zac and friends).

It might even be McCartney’s worst album, but today it sounded pretty good.

What sounded REALLY good on the back roads on a sunny morning in July is Willie Nelson’s newest album. I’ve paired this with McCartney before, as both albums are looking back on youth. It’s Willie doing Willie things. Give it a shot, just not stuck in traffic on the Cross Bronx.

We woke up today to a new U2 Song! It’s pretty darn catchy, and my friend Lou The U2 Superfan correctly points out that if Harry Styles handed in the same record, we’d have a summer hit. But U2, like me, are from the 80’s so nobody will care. Bono’s sounds good here in his deeper register, but it is worth noting that Paul “Bono Vox” Hewson is using autotune on the higher notes now. Time comes for all of us, except Mick Jagger.

A few weeks back we got Street of Dreams from U2. I couldn’t make it through it the first two times I listened to it, but this morning it sounded ok on the heels of Fireflies. I feel like they tried to write a theme for the menu of a soccer video game, or they wrote a song for sports-stadium montages or something. The whole thing feels “off.”

And a little podcasting for y’all before we go. The AMP accords came out. The name sounds ridiculous, and I (a) don’t know what AMP means and (b) aren’t there like 7 things called AMP in audio. Wasn’t there Spotify Amp or Amazon Amp or something. Accords? Was Stalin there?

Anyway, I think the folks at the AMP accords mean well. I do feel it’s a bit of a “cool kids” club with who was invited to the accords, and the Accordians having secret meetings they humble bragged about. It all feels icky. And then having a Scott Galloway and Kara Swisher video about it (video I said, about the podcasting accords, they put out a video) - it all feels like The Millionaires Have A Secret Club.

Also, this whole thing about “if it works with your eyes closed, it’s a podcast” sounds nice until I point out that means a baseball game on NBC is a podcast.

They mean well, and like most things I write about, I am not upset/mad about it, just bemused.

From Audio Island, this has been Johnny Mac, signing off for the day. I got a cheesesteak from Wawa and I’m going to eat it while listening to some podcasts, staring at a lake, because you’d have to be insane to stare at Youtube/Netflix/Spotify on a beautiful day like this.

I’ve been playing around with their AI tools on the Youtube Studio dashboard. I kind of like their AI Thumbnail generator, as I can let it run while I am doing my morning stats check and uploading commercial free episodes to Apple because Spreaker refuses to do Delegated Delivery (for how many years now has it been??? Come on Spreaker.)

I digress. Anyway, the AI thumbnail thing is….ok….. and they also have CLIPS. Click a button, and Youtube makes some brand new videos from the clips (and then you do the AI thumbnail thing again). It’s a nice solution to clips, but so far, based on limited experimenting, I am not sure their algorithm cares as I am seeing consumption numbers like zero and one. Just like I saw on Spotify. And sure. maybe Daily Comedy News is horrible which is why the algorithm hates it, but the audio version bought me a Lake House, so algorithm away.

Speaking of video, the nice folks at Podcasting Today asked me about it.

IAB ANNOUNCES SOMETHINGS SOMETHING PODCASTY

The IAB released some new guidelines for podcasting, and my eyes have glazed over three times trying to understand it. Fortunately, I have trained an AI to write in mt style, so let’s see what “me” has to say about this:

The big idea is simple enough: when you download a podcast, someone is counting that. Not whether you listened to it, just that you downloaded it. (Nobody knows whether you listened to it. The file just shows up on a server log and says “someone wanted this.” Whether it sat untouched in your app for three months is between you and God.) The guidelines exist so that everyone counting those downloads is counting the same way.

(Human me jumping in - you mean like 126 Episodes / 163 hours and 52 minutes sitting on my phone at 5pm yesterday?)

Version 2.3 makes one change that is genuinely funny to me: they are replacing the word “listener” with “podcast consumer.” This is technically accurate, you might be watching a podcast now, apparently, because video podcasts are a thing, but “podcast consumer” sounds like something you’d call someone who is eating a microphone.

The other big news is that v3.0 is coming in 2027 and will focus entirely on video podcasts. Which means the people whose job it is to count podcast downloads have already started planning for a future where your podcast is basically a YouTube video and the only thing connecting it to podcasting is that someone called it a podcast.

The public comment period is open until August 19th, if you have thoughts. I do not have thoughts. I have questions I’m afraid to ask.

OK I still don’t know what they did. They decided to count downloads? I’m sure I am missing something here, but it’s all so boring that I don’t care.

BUT I JUST TOLD YOU THAT WAS A.I.

Substack has rolled out a test to see if something was written by A.I. Keep in mind, I just told you I used A.I. to help write this (the above italicized part.) Lets run the check on this post.

Well, it says this is 100% Human. Must be right then.

WHAT I AM LISTENING TO

Nice weather, including some poolside on Monday, led to some podcast listening.

This was a very good discussion about podcasting, and the case AGAINST doing clips for social media discovery! The guest seems to be a kindred spirit of mine saying something along the lines of not liking Netflix/Podcasts but also they seem to be a very successful business (very paraphrasing), which is akin to when I criticize something and then point out I’m a loser recording a podcast in his basement. (One day last week I was only a half-hour as I recorded two episodes pool-side).

Conan did a great job interviewing Mick Jagger, easier said then done. I played a different Mick interview that I bailed on because it was the same-old questions, and Mick seemed bored. Nice job Conan.

Good political discussion here. The guest plays some hot buttons to good effect.

SPORTS MEDIA PODCAST SLOPPY BREAK OF THE WEEK

Let’s see how the gang at the Sports Media Podcast are doing.

I really enjoyed the mid-word break at 22:13 which was still there when I wrote this article on Saturday (as it was on Friday when I first listened).

It seems they have fixed the other sloppy break which originally appeared in the middle of RD’s goodbye/lockout, but now appears before the lockout, which still sucks content wise (commercials and then goodbye) but at least it isn’t mid-word. Maybe someone DOES QC this show!

To be fair to Richard and Team, the Jimmy Traina episode over the weekend had properly placed breaks, so I will put my sword down and end this segment for now.

For now.

MEANWHILE ON SATELLITE RADIO

I don’t have much to say about Howard Stern dropping to once a week. I’ve written about Howard in the past, more than once, and it all seems sad. I thought he’d do the two year victory lap and say goodbye, but popping on once a week, even if Big Celebrity Stars come by to kiss his ass now, is it even the Howard Stern Show we all liked? If we’re going to go out with, I dunno, Lady Gaga singing a song, instead of the Howard of Yesteryear, who even cares except the Hollywood Reporter. At least Imus kind of died with his boots on.

In other satellite news, they are adding….checks notes….terrestrial radio sports stations to the SXM app and “in vehicles” (I guess on newer radios that can get online stations? Just a guess).

So we fought a war for 25 years and in the end, you’re listening to WFAN with twenty minutes of commercials, and Howard Stern once a week.

Via Deadline…

Netflix’s What We Watched report, which highlights viewing data for the first six months of 2026…

….The streamer did not break out individual numbers for video podcasts such as The Pete Davidson Show, The Bill Simmons Podcast and Therapuss with Jake Shane.

I have to guess that they obviously have a great story, they just choose not to tell us for some reason, but the numbers are really great. Companies sometimes like to keep great numbers out of the trades as it could cause their stock to go up. I was not part of the Netflix decision, so you will have to ask them about the numbers.

Meanwhile, In a new report, Nielsen argues that podcasting should no longer be viewed as a single medium. Instead, it says listening and watching represent distinct consumer behaviors, attracting different audiences, creating different engagement patterns, and driving different advertising outcomes. (via Podcast News Daily)

To that I say, AMEN. Why are we comparing Pete Davidson doing a low budget celebrity talk show to Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History? Let the Hollywood/Video /L.A. people go over there and do their thing and feed stories to the Hollywood Reporter while podcasting does its thing over here.

“Despite the immense industry buzz surrounding video podcasts, audio streaming remains the absolute foundation of the ecosystem,” the report says. Nielsen found that 90% of monthly podcast consumers listen to podcasts, while 62% also watch them. (via Podcast News Daily)

Anyway, I will keep preaching my gospel….if you can manage your resources (time/momey/humans) and make video which makes you more money than if you don’t make video, and is worth the time it takes, great! If your friends at CAA can book Will Ferrell, Mick Jagger or POTUS, that’s awesome! Get yourself a couch, fake plants and a professional lighting rig. The YouTube algorithm can be quite groovy. You might get 1 million views a month and earn roughly $5000. That’s $60K a year (pre-tax)! And with those kind of numbers you might even get a Netflix deal and be seen by who knows how many people! We sure don’t!

Let’s begin with The Podnews Weekly Review. I was walking the dog in a light rain (neither good for video podcasts, which PWR is not anyway) when the voice of James Cridland started asking questions about Apple and Acast.

I’ll jump in and react to the news that Acast’s HLS podcasts are doing well on Apple! Yes. If Apple promotes your podcasts you are going to do well. We know this. The real question is what’s the deal with those two companies who seem really chummy right now.

That beings me to the topic I got distracted from last week: Parasocial reationships. You know, the thing where you think you actually know the person in your ears.

In Dreamland I was working out a thought I have related to the podcast industry, and was trying to determine my strategy for speaking publicly about it, as I don’t aim to tick everyone off. My sub-conscious conjured up “James Cridland” which of course is not the actual James, nor necessarily how Actual James would behave, think or feel. However Head-James DID help me sort out my feelings. I do consider Actual James a friend, even though we live 8300 miles apart and I’ve spent maybe an hour and half with him in real life. Maybe I am just delusional….

…which brings us to THIS item I have been sitting on for a year because I didn’t know how to bring it up….

…at double speed (which is how one listens to podcasts) Actual James kinda sounds like Baltar from the Battlestar Galactica reboot and I can’t unhear it. He doesn’t sound like Baltar at all in real life, but at double….well that’s who I picture now speaking to Sam Sethi every week.

Nice job by the AI there except podcasts are not “on-air.”

Next…I found THIS interesting. I wanted to gather some intel about the Acast thing, so I opened up Apple Podcasts (logged in) here on my M1 Mac running Tahoe 26.3 and it didn’t put ANY video in front of me. Maybe it knows!

I did see this in the second box under Home…note the word LISTENS

These seem to be “audio” podcasts so maybe there is hope for humanity despite the Video Cylons.

I was on this version of Podcasts if you’re a curious journalist with a newsletter.

I switched to mobile which stuck video under my nose, although to be fair it didn’t seem very Acasty.

Yep, once again I can’t hold my tongue about sloppy podcasting production. There I was, sitting out in the sun, enjoying one of my favorite podcasts when suddenly some commercials interrupted the flow.

Your milage may vary depending on dynamic ad-insertion but when I listened to Richard Deistch on Saturday, I was served an ad BETWEEN a question and answer (for me it was around the 16 minute mark.) As I texted a former co-worker, I wondered if I should be more impressed by that or by the candy wrapper or whatever I heard at the 12 minute mark, even with a clogged ear. Also, is it really a “roundtable” with one guest? I tried to find a video version to see if perhaps there was a table which is round on-screen, but this podcast seems to be audio only, and for that I salute them as Podcast Of The Year.

I have been enjoying Are We Doomed although I wish it could 5% less corny.

Ezra Klein also had an episode about the environment, but I can’t keep track of what is paywalled or not with that show and I don’t see it on Spotify to embed. If you are still reading you can probably find it wherever somewhere you get your podcasts.

Colin and Samir had on Tom Segura (prior to the news that Tom and his wife are separating). This one about building out his own platform.

Mick Jagger was on various NYT feeds (I think. Again, I can’t figure out what they do.) I caught the interview on The Daily

And the new Stones album is fantastic (see review below). Mick was also on Conan but I didn’t get to that yet.

I jumped in the car on Friday morning for an hour long drive and hit play on Foreign Tongues.

This was one of those albums that grabbed me four seconds in.

We open with Rough and Twisted. A nice straightforward blues-rock song. Very Stones, and sounded great on the highway. (On Saturday I played Hackney Diamonds, which leads off with Angry. I think the Stones made a nice choice here with Rough and Twisted rather than endlessly chasing the dragon for another Start Me Up.)

In the 2 slot is In The Stars which has been available as an early release for a while, but boy it works way better in sequence than it did as an orphan. It’s a shame there aren’t any Active Rock radio stations out there any more, because this deserved 1000 spins this summer - and has a hell of a post for any jock worth their salt. A nice breezy Stones song that makes my Summer 2026 playlist.

OMG The Falsetto is back! Jealous Lover finds Mick in his Emotional Rescue pitch. Yes, yes, yes!!!!

Then there is Mr Charm (no period after the r). This is the song that had me voice texting a few friends that the Stones had handed in a masterpiece. Catchy as hell. Mick has his phrasing fastball. We are listening to a GREAT album.

TIME OUT. I am NOT grading this on a curve, the way a lot of reviews of McCartney’s newest are being graded, and I am someone who likes late-period Paul. This is not that. This sounds like the Stones, with Mick sounding like Mick.

Time in. It’s time to slow things down. Divine Intervention is a straight forward Stones song. The kind of song they can hand in ten minutes from now. This one sounds like it would have been at home on side 2 of Tattoo You, and there’s nothing wrong with that!

It’s time to slow things down with some Country Stones. I tend not to love Country Stones, but this is a good version of Country Stones. This is also the only song where I am noticing the lyrics. Every song might be Su-Su-Sudio or might be the Stones’ statement on climate change. I assume they are all about sex and/or drugs. But this one has a few words like President and Lady Liberty (not looking so good when she’s wearing a frown.) This one might be about something. It’s catchy. (On Saturday I paid attention and oh, it’s about Trump!!!! Great song upon further inspection.)

Darryl Jones, who has been the bass player for 30 years now but STILL isn’t “in” the Stones, however that works (ask the accountants) gets to show off on Never Wanna Lose You. What a groove. Late in the song, they go full-on INXS and Mick even does a Michael Hutchence on one line (listen to “and nothing goes your way” at 2:53) over a bass line worthy of Bitch and a drum shuffle borrowed from Undercover of the Night.

Hit Me In the Head is straight forward Stones. You wake them up at 4am (or is 9am more appropriate in their case) and tell them WE NEED A STONES SONG IN 5 MINUTES OR WE’RE ALL DEAD and they will give you something like this. Fine. I like Stones songs. You need some normal Stones songs so the others stand out. Charlie Watts is the drummer on this one, so sure let’s have it on the album.

You Know I’m No Good could have appeared 50 years ago and you wouldn’t notice. It turns out this is an Amy Winehouse cover! I would have believed you if you told me it was a 1978 Stones album cut.

It’s time to check in with Keith Richards and Some Of Us, our first “bathroom song” (if at a concert) of the day, but make sure you’re back for the end where he trades vocals with Mick.

Covered In You has an over-sweet chorus in search of some real verses. This one is a bit of a mess. As I drove I told myself to stop paying attention to the words and to treat Mick’s vocals as an instrument, which made it a fine driving song. Watch the road.

Side Effects starts with a vaguely Der Kommisar riff before going into a basic chord progression I think is innate whiting all of us. This one IS about drugs, but unfortunately is two jokes away from being an Andy Samberg Lonely Island sketch on a Mick Jagger hosted SNL. Like Covered In You, just drive and enjoy the groove. Of note, the bass player on this one is Paul McCartney.

We haven’t had our Mick Ballad yet, and the six minute Back In Your Life fills the spot, although four minutes would have been plenty. THIS is your bathroom song if they tour.

We finish with a cover of Chuck Berry’s Beautiful Delilah. It has a different production quality and AI tells me, “Beautiful Delilah” is recorded to sound almost like you’re eavesdropping on Mick and Keith playing in a room, rather than hearing an Andrew Watt-produced modern Stones track.

It’s an acoustic-and-slide arrangement, with Mick and Keith sharing the vocal. One review specifically compares the intimacy to Stripped; others call it “raw” and a deliberate return-to-the-roots ending.”

Anyway, it’s a perfect landing and if it’s the final Stones song on the final Stones album, it’s the right way to go out.

10/10

Stray thoughts:

Maybe perhaps possibly the production is a little muddy, but the guy saying that has had a clogged ear all week and was listening with the roof open so that might not be fair.

This would be a great final album, but I would have also said that Hackney Diamonds would have been a fine walkoff, especially with Muddy Waters’ Rolling Stone Blues being the final track on that one.

Are the Rolling Stones the best rock band of the 2020s? Name one better.

I’m also massively entertained by the murder marginalization of Alexi Lalas by Zlatan. In case you aren’t watching the World Cup, basically Alexi Lalas was a decent American player and has been the Star of Fox soccer coevrage for a few World Cups. This time around, Fox brought in two guys that are legit world class players to sit at the desk with Rebecca and Alexi, and the players don’t seem to respect Alexi’s accomplishments nor opinions and don’t hide it at all.

That got me thinking of what the radio equivalent would be, and I imagined myself sitting at a desk with Rebecca Lowe, Howard Stern and whoever the second greatest living radio person is. I’m sure there’s someone obvious, and feel encouraged to shout at me in the comments.

Anyway, let’s imagine Rebecca, Howard, #2 and me sitting at the desk. Would Howard respect me? But then I remembered that Howard Stern told me that the Raw Dog comedy channel at Sirius sounded good. So I guess I’d be treated better than Alexi.

This question of Who’s #2 bothers me, so I asked AI. AI decided to create the Mount Rushmore Of Living Radio Personalities and went with Howard, Terry Gross, Ira Glass and Ryan Seacrest.

Now I’m a big Seacrest supporter - one realizes how good he is when you see someone else try to do what he does (go back and watch Simon Cowell on US X-Factor trying to banter with Not-Ryan-Seacrest) but if Seacrest is on MOUNT RUSHMORE then radio is dead.

The AI - and all I asked was WHO IS #2 - also added the below:

Hall of Fame Level

• Elvis Duran — perhaps the defining CHR morning host of the last twenty-five years.

• Delilah — one of the largest nightly audiences in radio history.

• Bobby Bones — transformed country radio into personality-driven entertainment.

• Mike Francesa — arguably the greatest sports radio host ever.

• Charlamagne tha God — helped redefine urban morning radio while expanding into podcasting and television.

• Dave Ramsey — one of the most successful advice-radio franchises ever

Well, you can’t tell me Mike is better than Chris Russo. No way. So add the Mad Dog to the list. I am voting Mad Dog #2 the more I think about it.

Chris was behind two of the greatest radio shows I have ever heard.

BOWLING IS NOT A SPORT. Chris declared this one day. Said he could drink a case of beer and still bowl a 200. Bowlers called in. He argued with them for 4 hours. Awesome.

TOO MANY YANKEES ON THE ALL STAR TEAM. 8 Yankees were named to the All Star Team, including some reserves by All Star Team Manager Joe Torre of the Yankees. Chris kills this and fends off angry Yankee fans for hours. Joe Torre does his usual spot in the 5pm hour and Chris argues with him. More calls.

Then…and I will never forget this as I was taking an evening walk down at Jones Beach…Chris says, “Well, doggy did it again. I killed 5 hours on a Summer Friday. I don’t care how many Yankees are on the All Star Team. Adios on your Fan.”

And THAT is how you do it, folks.

In modern times you can clearly see Stephen A. Smith has been influenced by Dog.

I also think the AI is underselling Scott Shannon

You guys can debate among yourselves. Everyone mentioned is really good at radio and I respect them all.

If you want a quick “haven’t put any thought into this” Rushmore - Edward R. Murrow (google Murrow The Blitz), Howard, Bob Hope, Rush Limbaugh. I just left off everyone from Musicradio 77 WABC. OK, comments are open.

AND NO I AM NOT SAYING I AM THE #3. I’m just saying I could hang with Howard and Russo and get a lot more respect than Alexi Lalas is getting.

Hmmm I didn’t set out to write ANY of that.

On Wednesday I tend to write about podcasting. Don’t worry, I shall. A holiday weekend meant that I got my download queue down to 127 shows (158 hours) which is the lowest it has been in a long time, and it would have been even lower had I not gone a history kick all weekend, which led to me downloading like 12 episodes of History That Doesn’t Suck, which is adding 12 hours of content to the queue…

…and a few episodes of History Hit didn’t help.

But I did clear a bunch out. Who isn’t interested in State Quarters?

Maybe the world isn’t as bad as you think…

….what even is the point of life anyway…

…I can’t tell you what this one is about. It’s the rules.

Thanks Prince Harry for the extra downloads this week. He is having quite the bad week. I am not.

Every week I track the stats on this show, and for the last three years I left myself a note that June slumped. Why does June slump for comedy????? Anyway, July is better. So weird.

Boy we really saw The Messi Effect on the pitch yesterday did we not? Agentic Employee Jamie Rudd self-generated a recap because he’s an Agentic Employee and not just a really good script I wrote to connect various automation. Again, investors, give me a ring before you invest millions in SlopCo. I can save you some money. I also know how to make 2000 podcasts a day, I choose not to. Anyway, this one is actually good.

I’m walking up the hill after this morning’s run, coming to you via mobile, after listening to Bill Simmons, head of Talk Strategy .

Let’s break down today’s episode.

Segment one: Bill, Chris Ryan and a guy named Anthony Dabbundo recapped the soccer game. They talked over each other. A lot. Enough that I couldn’t wait to get home to write about it.

In an audio podcasts, when people talk over each other, you can often mute one of the individual tracks and make the problem go away. Alternatively, you might machete out the seconds of talk over.

In video you have the editing problem. Do you abruptly go from three zoom boxes to two? Do you do a jump cut? Do you mute one box but we still see lips moving?

One might also leave the video alone but fix the audio. That said, I think Rob Greenlee is the only person on the planet who sometimes does that and most production teams are never going to make a separate version. And then what happens if you start doing HLS Video?

Another complicating factor is the video itself. Back in radio, which was transferable to audio podcasting (or as I call it, podcasting), you could use hand signals. Hold up a palm to tell the others to shut up or wait. Point at the person you’re throwing it to. I guess you could do it on video, but people won’t.

When I teach ensemble shows, I explain how to do a show in terms of sports, which Bill Simmons (Head of Talk Strategy for Spotify) should understand as both The Sports Guy and Head of Talk Strategy for Spotify.

The main person in the ensemble acts as the traffic cop. Picture that person wearing a sports jersey with #1 on it Get the ball back to #1. Someone else is #2, someone else is #3 etc. In this case, Bill is the 1, Chris Ryan the 2 and Anthony the 3. 2 should never talk to 3. They should both talk to 1.

Let’s take the very successful Howard Stern show as an example. The conversation flows through Howard. Robin doesn’t start talking to Gary. Everyone throws the ball back to Howard. It’s the Howard Stern Show, and it’s about Howard.

Another dynamic might be where the traffic cop isn’t the most talented guy. Let’s look at Opie and Anthony back in the day. Opie was the traffic cop, but Anthony got most of the laughs (and in later years Jim Norton as the 3, even referred to as “the Third Chair.” Opie kept the trains on time, but passed the ball to Anthony, and Norton would sometimes snipe a joke and get out.

I will also quote The Rock when I teach this: KNOW YOUR ROLE.

Now let’s move on to segment two of today’s Simmons. We have subbed out Anthony for Jason Concepcion, now in the 3 jersey, and suddenly there is flow. Why? For some reason in this segment Bill is directing traffic. You can clearly hear him calling on either CR or JC by name and they throw it back to Bill. That’s how you do it.

I stopped listening at the 56 minute mark when a commercial came on mid-segment with no soft landing. A pregnant pause of a downbeat goes a long way folks. It’s also possible to tell the guests before you begin that you’re going to build in a few breaks as we go along. Perhaps in the last 60 years they’ve seen the tonight show and are familiar with the concept of breaks.

My Agentic Employee Jamie Rudd turned in a very passionate takedown of the USMNT last night. this is a fully* automated show which is doing nice numbers now. You should be able to see which days USA played.

I keep spotlighting the automated soccer show in case you’re an investor thinking about investing in SlopCo because you think they are the only ones who can do AI. Call me, I can probably save you a few million dollars.

Anyway, since everyone is accepting the concept of Agentic Employee as a thing and not just a script, I am now inviting Jamie Rudd to the holiday party.

As for the asterisk, on this morning’s original draft Jamie was mistaken about the game time and I made a manually edit as I do QC rheee things while most of you are still asleep. I am willing to break an egg here and there and this morning an egg broke.

In other news, did you hear Taylor Swift got married? Obviously this show is having a good week…

And I had to comment on the Sandler of it all

Meanwhile, Prince Harry is gonna make for some good downloading numbers this week as we like to say at Caloroga, Thanks Meghan!

If you are a regular reader you saw my thoughts about the Bicentennial vs America 250. To get my July 4th on I watched the tall ships on NBC. Some quick notes from a long time producer…

Never throw it to civilians. They suck. Every time. They clam up and don’t know what to say.

Never ever ever put children on. They say one word and get shy.

Also, I don’t think I had ever seen Jenna Bush Hager on TV. I was not impressed. I’m sure she’s normally awesome and NBC found her reel in a stack of tapes that had nothing to do with her father or grandfather.

In the evening, I watched the fireworks part of NBC’s NYC Fireworks. They used the lamest cover versions of every song. Beyond lame. I kind of get using cover versions from a money standpoint, but boy they picked the lamest corniest versions of everything.

Also, someone tell the intern to check the lyrics to Born In The USA. I’m not sure “kicked like a dog’ was what you were going for.

OK, I caused enough trouble this morning. Off to see what Prince Harry is up to.

THE TOP TIER

1. Chris Fleming: Live at the Palace (HBO, February)

Best special of the year, and I don’t imagine anything passing it.

This is the one that made everybody feel like they discovered a secret, even though the secret had been hiding in plain sight on YouTube for years. Chris Fleming filmed his HBO debut at the Cadillac Palace Theatre in Chicago — in a purple velvet jumpsuit with ruby red Dorothy slippers — and then pranced, scuttled, and belly-flopped his way through an hour about Trader Joe’s, dog breeds, NPR, and conga lines. Marc Maron called him “a marvel to behold, a true artist.”

Fleming isn’t doing joke jokes. He’s doing art, except the art is extremely funny. There is a lot of physical comedy, and here’s where I’m gonna let the AI have its moment: Chris Fleming looks like he may have studied under a mime who was also a golden retriever.

2. Ryan Hamilton: This Just Hit Me (Netflix, June)

Sometimes you see a comedian on the way up and think “I can’t wait for their next special,” and then they disappoint. I was nervous here because it had been a minute for Ryan Hamilton. You know why it had been a minute? Because he got hit by a bus. Broke ten ribs. Then made a comedy special about it, because that’s what comedians do.

I’m happy to report it’s great.

The special was directed by Nate Bargatze. (I know, I know. Nate one time went to a UFC event. People are very upset. I hear you.) The energy is clean, warm, observational. Nobody is getting their feelings hurt.

Quick sidebar: I Googled “Ryan Hamilton MMA” to make sure our Ryan Hamilton was not secretly attending UFC events, and I found that there is a professional MMA fighter named Ryan Hamilton who goes by the nickname “Hollywood Ryan Hamilton.” His professional record is 0 and 1. His last fight was July 17th, 2021, and he lost to Johan Rubio by rear naked choke, two minutes and eleven seconds into round two. He is currently on a one-loss MMA streak. This is exactly the kind of thing Nate Bargatze would find very interesting.

Anyway. Ryan Hamilton. Not a curse word in sight, the kind of special you can watch with your parents and feel good about yourself.

3. Trevor Noah: Joy in the Trenches (Netflix, April)

I really like Trevor Noah’s comedy, and I liked this one a lot. Some people said it felt at times like a TED Talk that wandered into a comedy club by accident. I’m not sure I fully agree. The storytelling rhythm is there, the delivery is smooth, and an uneven Trevor Noah special is still well above the median. Worth your time.

4. Katt Williams: The Last Report (Netflix, February)

Katt Williams’ fourth Netflix special leans heavily into conspiracy theories, political commentary, and the energy of a man who has looked at the world and concluded he was right about everything. If you love Katt, you’ll love this. If you felt his previous specials wandered a little too far from the punchlines into the prophecies, this one does not correct that course. But there’s a bit about going off the grid and farm life that is reportedly some of his funniest work in years. He remains a genuine original.

5. Pete Holmes: Silly Silly Fun Boy (800 Pound Gorilla / YouTube, February–March)

Pete Holmes’ sixth special, out on YouTube in March after a window on 800 Pound Gorilla. Scorpion bites, elevator superstitions, Harry Potter as a philosophical text, parenting, marriage, the general vibe of a man who has found genuine peace and wants to tell you about it in the funniest way possible.

I’ve been listening to Pete Holmes interviews lately and I just really like what the guy is about. And honestly, writing this post, I’m second-guessing the order — maybe Pete is third, ahead of Katt and Trevor. You know what, I make the list, I can revise the list. Fifth. But ask me again in November.

Holmes said it’s his favorite special to date. Yes, yes, every comedian says that. Is anyone coming out and saying “you know, this one is pretty good but my last one was way better?”

6. Derrick Stroup: Nostalgic (Netflix, March)

Here’s one that might be off your radar. By “off your radar,” I mean Netflix put it in front of you and you didn’t click on it.

Produced by Nate Bargatze’s Nateland Entertainment (noticing a trend), Stroup’s Netflix debut is 57 minutes about a ‘90s kid from rural Alabama throwing it back to pre-internet life, board games, and why cigarettes should make a comeback. He landed in the Netflix Top 10. Critics compared him to Bargatze and Bert Kreischer, which will tell you immediately whether you’re the audience. The storytelling is warm and the Southern accent does heavy lifting in the best way.

7. Ramy Youssef: In Love (HBO, April)

Filmed at the Hideout in Chicago and directed by “The Bear” creator Chris Storer, which is a fun little fact. Ramy’s third HBO special is a small-room show. He covers dogs, his marriage, AI, religion, and the Riyadh Comedy Festival — the last one being a topic you need to navigate carefully, and he does, because his warmth is essentially a permission slip to go places that would land wrong from someone else.

One review said it’s not trying to be the funniest special of the year — it’s trying to be the most meaningful. I think that’s right. Worth watching.

8. Jackie Kashian: Alter-Kashian (800 Pound Gorilla / YouTube, February)

The special’s title is Alter-Kashian. I see what you did there, Jackie.

Out on YouTube in February, with Kashian in the live chat during the premiere because Jackie Kashian is doing comedy exactly how she wants to and the internet can come along for the ride. Personal stories, rapid-fire punchlines, decades of experience. She described herself as “entirely made of bees at this point,” which is either a metaphor for modern life or the opener to a bit, and either way it’s exactly what you want from her.

THE GOOD PILE

Sheng Wang: Purple (Netflix)

I thought his previous special, Sweet & Juicy, was excellent. Purple is not as good. It gets a little repetitive, and this time around I was really feeling the Mitch Hedberg cover act — which in the previous special I actually liked, but this time the material didn’t quite match the delivery. I like Sheng a lot. I’d honestly recommend Sweet & Juicy before this one.

Aaron Chen: A Life in Questions

Aaron Chen is Australian, surreal, and criminally underrated. Low-key style, acquired taste, perfectly fine special. Not elite, but well worth your time if you don’t know him.

The Roast of Kevin Hart (Netflix, May)

We have well dissected this on the Daily Comedy News Podcast. Was it the Roast of Tom Brady? Not even close. Was it watchable? Sure. It was long — I had to watch it across two or three nights — and it was hit and miss, maybe more miss than hit. But Famous Comedian The Rock was great, Katt Williams came out as a surprise, and Hart stopped the whole thing at one point to squash their beef live, on stage, in one of the few genuinely sincere moments of the evening. Put your eyes on it.

Tony Hinchcliffe: Man of the People (Netflix)

I know people on Threads specifically are mad that this even exists. Here’s my honest take: I don’t know if it’s funny. I had it on for an hour, and I made it all the way through, which is more than I can say for a lot of specials. I was entertained. I don’t know if I laughed. It’s just...nice company. Which is either the most damning thing I can say about a comedy special or a perfectly fine endorsement. You decide.

Des Bishop: Bridge & Tunnel (Hulu, June)

First mention of the Hulu brand. Hulu-arious. Their publicist may not get back to you, but you can still watch comedy on Hulu. Des Bishop’s seventh special was filmed at the Comedy Cellar in New York, which is his hometown, which is what the title is about. He covers not having kids, Gen X dating, growing up Irish-American in Queens in the ‘80s. I liked his previous special more, but if you need something to watch, here it is.

THE PASS SECTION

(Not bad, necessarily. Just not worth your finite time on earth.)

Louis C.K.: Ridiculous (Netflix, July)

I put this on between soccer games and the first ten minutes had me laughing out loud. Actual laughs. I have what I call Emperor of Rome Syndrome — my brain has been fried from listening to comedy for so many years that I do the thing comedians do in the back of the room, where they just kind of nod and go, “Oh yeah, very funny, great callback, so well-written.” But I don’t actually laugh. C.K. in the first ten minutes had me laughing, and I started thinking, “Is this gonna be the number two special of the year?”

Then he went into a bit about his father. I won’t spoil the material, but there was one joke that was aggressive in a way I just didn’t want to spend time with. That chunk ended around the 19-minute mark — with clapter, never a good sign — and then the next ten minutes I was bored, and I bailed.

Variety calls it his return to the mainstream. Slate says he hasn’t changed. IndieWire says without deeper insight, his misery becomes our own. All of those things are probably true at once. First ten minutes: excellent. After that: I had soccer games to watch.

Taylor Tomlinson: Prodigal Daughter (Netflix, February)

Critics love it. Her fourth Netflix special, which is an incredible run. It hits religious trauma, faith deconstruction, sexuality, and fear of death. I just felt it was one-note for the full hour in a way I couldn’t get past. Wasn’t feeling it. Not my target audience and that’s fine.

Josh Johnson: Symphony (HBO, May)

I know. I know I’m supposed to love it. The concept is genuinely interesting — Johnson’s set at the Wiltern in L.A. is woven together with musical interludes, building to a full orchestral performance, and the man has real comedic rhythm that the format is designed to honor. I wanted to love it. I zoned out. People who love it seem to really love it, which means I’m either wrong, or wasn’t in the right headspace, or I’m just bad at this. All three are possible.

Marcello Hernandez: American Boy (Netflix, January)

Marcello Hernandez does one thing. He did one thing. No surprises.

Mark Normand: None Too Pleased (Netflix, March)

Mark Normand doing Mark Normand things. The most accurate review quote I found: “You already know what you’re in for.” Yes. That’s it. If you’re a Normand fan, you’ve already watched it.

Nikki Glaser: Good Girl (Hulu, April)

I am not the target audience, I am aware of that, and I am increasingly of the opinion that Nikki Glaser needs to tap the brakes and disappear for a little bit. It’s been a lot. The material doesn’t connect with me. It may connect with you. Good Girl is on Hulu.

The back half of the year tends to have more specials than the front, and we usually get big names dropping after Thanksgiving. So this list will evolve. Your list is just as valid as mine — this is just one idiot’s ranking, compiled during a holiday weekend from a basement.

And those raw notes I mentioned..

I am going to miss the World Cup when it is over. I’ve really gotten into sitting on the back deck, editing shows while soccer is on.

I’m really impressed by my automated soccer podcast. I don’t touch it. I am calling attention to it. It’s not slop and way better than anything SlopCo is doing.

I am finding Soccer Moms entertaining. I had forgotten it was a comedy until the comedy part reminded me. It’s almost too real!

Anyone remember Pistol Shrimps Radio which would broadcast fake basketball games? It seems they’ve evolved into doing something else on the same feed, but here’s an epsiode from a decade ago.

If fake sports are your thing, may I suggest…

And wow, I didn’t set out to do a themed article today, especially since I have completed Run Every Day In June - and you know what happens when you run every day in June AND walk the dog 4 miles most days? You go through a LOT of podcasts.My endless queue is down to ONLY 114 episodes (162 hours). And with a holiday weekend coming and nice weather….maybe this gets under 100 for the first time since 2015????

Yesterday, I enjoyed the heck out of the New Media Show. Rob and Alberto had a smart discussion about AI.

Along the way, they made a good point about video. On Youtube you kinda need to do the whole like and subscribe, give this a thumbs up, comment below, click on this video I am pointing at….. does ANY of that work on Apple HLS Video? I don’t think so, but I have zero interest in HLS video as I am never ever going to watch a video while running, driving, walking the dog or sitting on the beach…and to stare at your podcast on my 70 inch TV when I could be playing video games while listening to you at 2.2x? No thanks video.

I am obsessed with being ahead. I have Daily Comedy News done through Monday! “What if news breaks, John?” (A) It won’t. (B) I can always edit the shows that are done. (C) Bonus episodes. (D) It won’t.

Enjoy your 4th of July!

(Is it USA250? America250? The Semiquincentennial? I genuinely don’t know what we’re calling it, which is sort of the whole problem.)

I was six in the summer of 1976, and the Bicentennial was EVERYWHERE. You could not escape it. Red, white and blue on everything. Betsy Ross flags and every variant thereof hanging off every porch, every storefront, every fire escape. Bicentennial quarters in your pocket. Fire hydrants painted up like little Minutemen. And living in New York we got Operation Sail, the tall ships coming up the Hudson on the Fourth, which even a six-year-old understood was a Big Deal.

And the style. Good lord, the style. EVERYTHING went colonial that summer. Every logo grew a quill-pen font. Every supermarket circular had an eagle on it. Tricorn hats, fife and drum, spinning wheels, “ye olde” this and “Spirit of ‘76” that. If a brand could slap a Liberty Bell on a cereal box, it did. The whole country basically cosplayed 1776 for eighteen months and nobody thought it was weird, because everybody was doing it.

This time? Somewhere, someone acknowledged the 250th is coming. Then everyone went back to their phones.

Here’s the one that really gets the broadcasting guy in me, though. The CBS Bicentennial Minute. Starting July 4, 1974 — two years early! — CBS ran a one-minute history vignette every single night in prime time, right around 8:27 or 8:57. A different narrator each time, usually some CBS star, who’d introduce themselves and go “Two hundred years ago today…” and then tell you what happened on that date in the Revolution. It closed with a little wink at Cronkite — instead of “and that’s the way it is,” the narrator would sign off with their own version. Shell sponsored the whole thing. It ran for 912 nights.

Think about that. A major network gave a minute of prime-time inventory, every night, for over two years, to teach you history. Now picture pitching that in a network meeting in 2026. You’d be laughed out of the building before you finished the sentence. “So you want to give away ad time… to do what now?” Nobody is making the Bicentennial Minute for the 250th. We’ve conceded that ground to Ken Burns and a 12-part doc that drops on streaming and gets watched by the same 400,000 people who watch every Ken Burns doc.

Anyway. Let me tell you about the cooler.

I still own a red and white Igloo cooler from 1976. Fifty years old. On the side of it is a sticker, faded almost to nothing now, but I know exactly what it is. It’s the star.

You know the star. If you were alive in ‘76 you can draw it from memory: the soft white five-pointed star in the middle, wrapped in red, white and blue stripes that fold around into a second star, like furled bunting. That thing was on EVERYTHING. Stamps. Mugs. Belt buckles. Your grandmother’s mother’s commemorative plates she ordered off the back of a magazine. NASA painted it the size of a building on the Vehicle Assembly Building down at the Cape, where it stayed until 1998. They put it on the Viking lander and shot it to MARS.

A guy named Bruce Blackburn designed it. He sketched it on his commute, the Long Island Railroad, on the way to work. Then it goes up to the Oval Office and Nixon’s people say it doesn’t look “governmental” enough, so they make him wrap text around it.

THAT’S a logo.

Now, here’s the part that actually got me. I looked up who’s doing the 250 logo. It’s the same firm that did the ‘76 star (Chermayeff & Geismar), and they used the same ribbon idea to spell out “250.” Which is a lovely bit of full-circle continuity that I would feel a lot warmer about if I had ever, even once, SEEN it. I had to go hunt it down. In 1976 the star found me.

My mom and I got interviewed in Battery Park during all this by Vic Miles for Channel 2 news. Well, my mom got interviewed. I was six and presumably contributed nothing of journalistic value. But I was there, on the local news, for the Bicentennial. I also had a Bicentennial frisbee, which made the telecast.

That frisbee got lost the summer of Live Aid because that’s what happened to frisbees. I wish I still had it, and don’t think I don’t check eBay every few months for he same model.

I don’t know. Maybe the 250th roars to life in the next week and I eat this whole article. I’m sure TikTok is working on Semiquincentennial Minutes to educate the youths.

Anyway. The cooler still works. It could use a cleaning, but maybe I’ll rock that next Saturday.

Fifty years ago, I decided I wanted my life goal to be at the Tricentennial. I will need to make 107. I might need a little help from science, but that’s the goal. Maybe we will get that one right. And if my kids don’t throw out the cooler, I will still have it.

The weather’s been damn near perfect. I’ve been happy, relaxed, thankful the whole stretch has had that Friday-before-Memorial-Day feeling I’m always chasing. And it has lasted a month. Then, on top of all of it: SPORTS.

The Knicks. My Goodness, the Knicks. For a couple of weeks there the whole city felt like it did when I was a kid. Strangers talking. Bars roaring. NYC felt like NYC again. It brought people together in a way almost nothing does anymore, and I don’t think that’s just nostalgia talking. Everybody was happy. EVERYBODY.

And right on the back of that, the World Cup.

I’ve been watching three of the four games a day (that late one is a little too late for me, and whoever scheduled Team USA for 10pm TONIGHT, you and I are going to have words). It’s wall-to-wall soccer!

Thirty-two years ago I did the exact same thing. Summer of ‘94, me and my buddy Pat, every single day, just parked in front of the TV watching soccer for hours.

And here’s what you have to understand about 1994: nobody cared. Nobody in this country knew a single thing about soccer. It was a curiosity, the thing the rest of the planet was obsessed with that we’d politely ignored. I had an absolute ball anyway, mostly because I watched Ireland in Irish bars, which around here meant packed to the walls.

The Ireland-Italy game I’ve apparently been telling wrong for three decades. In my head it’s “Ireland took Italy to penalties by punting the ball every time it came into their half and somehow won.” The punting is true, hoof it and chase it was Charlton’s entire religion. But there were no penalties says the AI fact0checker.

June 18, 1994, Giants Stadium, Ireland 1-0, clean. Ray Houghton chests down a loose ball on the edge of the box and dinks this ridiculous looping left-footer over Pagliuca in the 11th minute, then does a forward roll into the corner. Paul McGrath plays the game of his life on a busted shoulder and puts Roberto Baggio in his pocket for ninety minutes. (Portions of today’s post were written with the help of AI, let me know if you can spot them.)

Thirty-two years will scramble the tape on you. And brother, they went FAST.

The USA is hosting a World Cup final again, three decades later. I could go. I keep pulling up tickets. And I keep closing the tab, because I cannot make myself spend $1,100.

So instead I’m doing what I do, parked in front of the TV all day while I edit shows, write these substacks, and field emails. (The 7am-to-1pm block is sacred. That’s scripts and recording. Soccer is the reward after.) I’ve gotten good at the DVR dance, and I’ll tell you, it is STILL shockingly easy to avoid a soccer score in this country. Over the weekend, when it was too gorgeous to be inside, I started the matches late and watched it on the laptop out on the deck at 1.25x. Living the dream.

The funny part is my own rooting. Every single match I start out pulling for the Traditional Soccer Power, the team that’s supposed to win, and somewhere around halftime I’ve completely flipped and I’m hollering for the scrappy “wait, how are they even IN this tournament” side. As I write this, Ghana has England 0-0 in the 77th, and reader, I think you know exactly whose corner I’m in.

Sports is great. It’s just great.

And it’s been a great year for it. The Winter Olympics. Olympic hockey being actual Olympic hockey again. The World Cup. The Knicks. The Mets. Let’s not ruin a nice article.

Epilogue:

In the 87th minute Harry Kane hit the crossbar and I made an audible “hoo hoo hoo” sound which meant something, not sure what, but boy I had a face on that was basically the :0 emoji.

In the 96th minute, I felt the adrenaline as I got nervous for Ghana.

Final score Ghana 0, England 0.

Sports rules. USA, 10pm tonight. And starting at 4pm, two games on simultaneously, which they will be, on the 70 inch TV using Youtube TV’s mulitview.