Welcome to a (delayed) mid-year check in! Re-reading this post from the beginning of the year was jarring. I knew life would change once Hope entered our world, but it feels like a lifetime ago that I wrote this…

My word for this year is “embrace”.

Embrace (verb): to avail oneself of; welcome

Accept, cherish, love, hug

The opposite of reject

I walked into 2026 like I do every year: with ideas in my head about what God would do in my life based on that specific word. I included those ideas in my previous post. But it’s wild how that’s actually played out. Some of it has felt welcomed—like warm hug from an old friend. A lot of it as been hard to accept and wasn’t included on my bingo card for this year.

We can start with the most obvious one: embracing a new season of motherhood. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can prepare you for becoming a mom. I could write an entire post on what I thought would be hard to embrace about this new role, and then another one about what actually was hard.

As a type-A achiever, I “knew” it would be hard to slow down and accept taking each day as it comes. I figured there would be physical limitations for a bit while I healed and let my body rest—but turns out that goes longer than I thought. With no schedule and sleep deprivation, it’s been so hard figure out how to take care of myself physically when Hope demands so much of me. While I have embraced the somewhat unrecognizable body I am in, there have been so many little health-related things that have made feeling normal again impossible. Let alone trying to feel strong again. One week there is rhythm with workouts that feel necessary to do things like pick up my baby, or play on the floor, the next that rhythm is gone.

But what has been a bigger slap in the face is accepting my limitations has a gift from God. Yes I could recite 2 Corinthians 12:9 you and myself till I’m blue in the face, but apparently I am far from believing it. I cannot hold anything together. I’m tired. I have experienced more anger in the middle of the night than I knew was in me. I can feel paralyzed by the weight and responsibility of taking care of and raising a human. Every decision seems so important.

And while it should be a big old relief that it’s not all up to me and that God is in control, this is something I’m still working on embracing. Apparently I have control issues? Who knew! (Please read that with all the sarcasm I said it with.)

Moving on: we hoped to move before the beginning of this year, and I made it my mission to embrace being in Nashville through the winter. Even though postpartum + winter blues terrified me, we made it. Record breaking ice storm the first week of Hope’s life and all. (Story for another time!) But we more than “made it”, I think we embraced it, and it was easier to do that than I thought it would be. And our community showed up for us in ways we can’t even thank them for. I’m teary now missing our people!

Going into the new year, there was no prospect on the horizon of when we would get to move, but we prayed it would be by May. Why? Delusion maybe? Or maybe it was faith. Either way, God blew open a door we didn’t expect and we did in fact move in May. It was whirlwind we are still coming down from. Not sure I want to move with an infant ever gain. But even that answered prayer has come with un-welcomed embraces: like “settling” at my parents until our house in Nashville sells, or Lucas having a ton of travel for his new job upfront that we didn’t anticipate. (I’ve shared some of that here.) Everything about our life is in transition and we don’t know when we’ll get out of the middle. But even in that, we’re figuring out what it looks like to embrace this new life as a family.

As I process all this, I’m asking God to show me how He is embracing me in the season. And here’s what I feel like He is telling me:

You are held in my loving embrace. As you experience what it’s like to love a helpless baby, know that is just a picture of how much I love you.

You are accepted and welcomed by me. You have been brought into my family through Christ—this does not change when life changes. Even though you are changing, I am staying the same, and so is my love for you.

You don’t have to figure out how to be included. Even as you look for where you belong in this new season, you can rest in that you do not have to prove yourself to me. This is not because of what you can do for me, but because you are my child who I love.

Maybe you need to hear your Father saying those words to you too.

Who knows how this will play out for the rest of the year. I’m done guessing.

But we can embrace whatever circumstances we are facing because we have already been embraced by God, who is in control of all of it.

Always,

Meghan

P.S. On a lighter note—a lot of that vision board really has come to life. At the end of the year I’m going to replace all of those photos with ones of my life this year. I think it’ll be cool to see!

What’s Helping Me Love It Here:

(Each post, I’ll share some things that have brought me joy, inspired me, or I think you would find fun! This week we’re going to update on those hopes/goals I wrote about at the beginning of the year!)

From my closet: I wanted to have a “no fuss closet” this year. What I meant was creating a capsule wardrobe, which I have not done. Instead, I’ve stuck to Nuuly (Use this link for $30 off!) because my size has been in flux. But, I have tried to get dressed every day. AKA, only wear workout clothes when I’m going to workout. It’s working so far, but would love someone to do some shopping for me to have that capsule wardrobe…

For self-care: I mastered the polished makeup routine, and then we moved to the beach and I’ve given up. IF I put on make up, it’s usually for church or going to dinner. (Thank you sunlight for the natural touch of color!) It has 3 parts: under eye concealer (because I’m still a tired mom), a swipe of mascara, and this multi stick for added color on my cheeks and nose. If I’m fancy I’ll throw on a nude lip gloss.

I have not figured out my solution for exercise yet. I want to be running consistently but it’s been hard because nothing is worse than getting in running shape during the heat of summer. So I’ve stuck with the FORM app—which has workouts for the days I can make it to the gym, but also tons of at home options for the days I need to just squeeze it in. Click here for 30% off their annual membership!

On my desk: No update on the new book project yet, but it’s in the works! Also on the note of scrolling less—we’ve had the Brick for over a year and both Lucas and I LOOOOVEE it. It’s helped my screen time go down so much. A gift I needed in these early motherhood days when I need to be present. You can get it here for 10% off!

From the kitchen: Streamlining food changes each week but I’ve basically started a capsule grocery haul: get a few proteins, a few veggies, fruit, and a carb like potatoes or rice plus some quick crab snacks. Then figure out meals later and make enough for next day leftovers. It’s not fancy but it’s taking a lot off my mental load!

Always,

Meghan

If you’re also in a season of transition, I created this free guide for you: In the Middle. It’s been one I’ve gone back to for years because these 3 steps really do help me when nothing feels normal or steady.

How has this year turned out different than you thought it would? I’d love to hear how God has surprised you the first half of 2026!

Leave a comment

I’m so glad you’re here! If this post encouraged, I would be honored if you left a like or a comment. It helps me reach more amazing people like you!

To stay in touch, let’s connect on Instagram.

I caught myself doing something this week…

Most days, my husband comes home from work and asks me how my day went. As a new mom, I spend my days caring for our baby girl: feeding her, trying to rock her to sleep, playing, reading her books. While there’s no such thing as a routine right now, the days all can start to feel super similar.

But I started to notice my responses to his question.

I’d tell him we had a good day if she was minimally fussy. I was happy if she napped well and I was able to get work done or stuff around the house. (And it would be a great day if I got to do something for myself like take a nap or workout.) On the flip side, I’d tell him it was a bad day when she wouldn’t cooperate at nap time. If she didn’t feed well, cried a lot, and I wasn’t able to do anything outside of taking care of her, I felt frustrated and overwhelmed.

I defined good and bad days based on how I feel, not how I get to serve my daughter or anyone else’s needs. Then I started realizing, this is how I operate in most areas of my life…

It’s a good day if I accomplish everything on my to-do list…

If I’m able to do something that makes me feel rested…

Or bonus if I can do something fun.

They say, “it’s better to give than to receive”. Which actually comes from the Bible. 1 John 3:16 for example says, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.”

The greatest love of all was sacrificial, not selfish. The moments I’ve felt more loved and cared for are when someone has gone out of their way for me. As hard as it is for me to admit, I struggle to offer people in my life that kind of love. I’m naturally more selfish than I want to be.

But what I’ve found when I can let go of my agenda for the sake of someone else, I actually experience more joy, peace, and love than if I finished everything on my to-list for the day. Seeing the people I love feel seen, loved or cared for by something I did really does make me feel better than anything I could have done for myself.

What is a way you can lay down your plans for someone today?

Maybe it is letting the laundry go undone so you can play longer with your kids.

Or surprising your spouse with their favorite dinner after a long day.

Can you do the dishes your roommate left in the sink (again)?

Or let someone take the good parking spot you were eyeing at the grocery store?

None of these ways of loving people lead to us neglecting our personal needs, but they make room for us to show someone the love and in turn experience that love ourselves.

There are certainly hard days of being a mom, and I will be honest about that. Today, was one of those days actually. Hope is teething and it was a long day of her being extra needy. I found myself getting easily frustrated and impatient because of it too. And now I’m up later than I want to be formatting this post to go out. It’s not lost on me that the exact words I’m sharing are the ones I needed to remind myself again today.

Because I no longer want to define days like today as a bad day. I don’t want a good day to be based on what I can do for myself. A really good (while sometimes hard) day is a day I get to lay down my life for my daughter, my husband, a friend or stranger. Just like Jesus did for me.

What’s Helping Me Love It Here:

From my kitchen: Candidly, I have not tried a recipe out of a cookbook since I told you I would last week, but it’s on the list! I did however, make some breakfast sandwiches to freeze this week and it’s been a HUGE help because I’m constantly hungry with breastfeeding. I didn’t really have a recipe, but stacked: sour dough english muffins, frozen organic turkey sausage patties, eggs baked with spinach and a slice of cheese. Simply bake the eggs, assemble your sandwich, wrap, freeze and then it’s ready to be heated up on the go!

On my nightstand: I just got my new She Reads Truth subscription box and I’m so excited to start their study of the New Testament. I shared why their reading guides are such a hack for me in this season here:

Always, Meghan

I miss my old quiet time

For most of my adult life, I’ve tried to have a “quiet time” in the morning. And I’ve always had an idealized version of how that time should go…

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3 months ago · 14 likes · 9 comments · Meghan Ryan Asbury

Reminder that She Reads Truth is giving my friends 15% off any order with code MEGHANR15.

Beach Bag Favorites: We’re spending as much time as we can on the beach these days, and I often get asked about what we bring. First off everything gets loaded in an extra large tried and true tote: sunscreen, towels (I usually just get from Marshall’s or Home Goods), water bottles, then a speaker and whatever Lucas and I are reading! For Hope I bring a swim diaper, extra diapers and wipes, a change of dry clothes and some sort of book and toy for her to play with! She usually naps and plays under the umbrella while we are there.

Always,

Meghan

I’m so glad you’re here! If this post encouraged, I would be honored if you left a like or a comment. It helps me reach more amazing people like you!

To stay in touch, let’s connect on Instagram.

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Life has given us some lemons this summer.

Some related to moving, others related to life with an infant. And some from simply being human and struggling to live in a broken world.

And I’ve tasted the sour-ness of those lemons. Middle of the night crash-outs from not sleeping. Teary car rides grieving unmet expectations. Frustrated conversations with Lucas about the unfairness of life.

While I wish I could keep blaming it on postpartum hormones (which have their part in it), I know I have some autonomy to change my perspective even if I can’t change my circumstances.

For the past several weeks, I’ve taken steps to change my attitude about these lemons. So dubbed this summer what I’m calling, “my lemonade summer”.

They say “when life hands you lemons, make lemonade,” and I’m here to put that to practice.

What do I mean?

I think it’s tempting to spend time focusing on things we do not have and in the process we miss what we do have. More than that, I think we miss what the “lemons” we’ve got are actually offering: ingredients to make something beautiful out of the life God has given us.

We may not have all the things we wanted or hoped for right now, but we’re fighting to find things around every corner to love and appreciate about this season. Things that wouldn’t exist if we had all the things we wanted and hoped for right now.

For example: not having our own house (we’re living with my parents). While we long for our own space to feel more settled, we get to be walking distance to the beach and our favorite coffee shop. Which is not something we’ll have once we get our own house. We’re getting to experience multi-generational living and all the fun (and hiccups) that come along with it. We’re getting to live really simply with all our stuff in storage and just enjoy what each day has to offer us without getting bogged down by house chores, and maintaining things. (And we’re also not sleeping, and I don’t have a “lemonade” for that yet but I believe in Jesus’ name it’ll come!)

We don’t know when these things will change, but for the first time in a long time I’m not worried about it. Because perspective really does change things. I’m not talking about gaslighting ourselves into spiritual optimism—I’m talking about acknowledging what’s hard/unexpected/disappointing but not staying there. Instead, choosing to trust God has good for us here still. It doesn’t change the facts of life, and I say often, it doesn’t always change my feelings. But it does increase my faith–and it helps me find joy in the here and now. Which is where life is.

The funny thing I forget about “lemons” is they are fruit too. They are evidence of life, growth, and harvest. We may not always like the taste. We may wish for berries, peaches or something a little sweeter. But all we have to do is mix in some water and sugar–like gratitude and finding ways to enjoy and enhance our days. And boom, we’ve got something better than we started with. Those other fruits have their seasons, and we’ll get to enjoy those when they come.

In order to do that, I’m documenting the beauty of each day. With photos on my phone, and scribbled lists of what I’m thankful for in a notebook. I’m telling my husband and parents what has been good, and asking them to share the same with me.

So I hope the rest of summer you can take what’s in front of you and ask God what He wants to make out of it. Some days it’ll be easier than others. My prayer is we both find more beauty, more joy and more life to full like Ephesians 3:20 promises.

In the meantime, someone send me a good lemonade recipe, because I was serious about starting that lemonade stand!

What’s Helping Me Love It Here:

From my kitchen: I’m trying to shop my house for new ideas and free activities this month. My mom has so many cookbooks that I’ve decided to start trying recipes out of them. Maybe this week you break one out–or borrow one from your mom, roommate or a friend. I’m currently flipping through this one to find something. I’ll report back!

On my nightstand: I finally am finishing my first run through The Artist’s Way. I’ve had this book for 10 years and started and re-started it so many times. It’s taken me a year to make it all the way through this time but the exercise of writing morning pages has been a boost to the creative part of my brain. I usually do it after my quiet time with Hope does tummy time–so it’s possible even as a new mom!

A way to savor the rest of summer: A few years ago, I created a free 4-day devotional guide to help you love the season you’re in. Click here to get it now!

Our new monthly rhythm: Lucas and I are trying to memorize one new verse together a month. We’re alternating picking the verses. Last month, I chose Isaiah 40:31

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (yes, I typed that from memory!)

This month, Lucas chose Jeremiah 17:17-18.

There are so many benefits to memorizing Scripture, for your mind as well as your spiritual life. Reminding each other what is true when we don’t believe it in the midst of a transition season has been a game-changer for us. We hope to stick with it for the rest of the year.

Always,

Meghan

I’m so glad you’re here! If this post encouraged, I would be honored if you left a like or a comment. It helps me reach more amazing people like you!

To stay in touch, let’s connect on Instagram.

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In the dim glow of a 2 a.m. feeding, my phone lit up my face as I searched yet another symptom. After we welcomed our first baby at the beginning of this year, I found myself frantically running to ChatGPT with every concern or question. Fueled by anxiousness (and probably postpartum hormones) I looked for instant answers as I feared worst case scenarios.

Whether you are a new mom or not, it’s easy to fall into this way of thinking: living afraid and trying to find ways to avoid our worst fears coming true. Whether it’s health concerns, relational uncertainty, unknown futures or a season of waiting, there is something to fear around every corner if we go looking for it. In our modern age, it’s easy to turn to quick internet searches for solutions and relief rather than turning to the God of all wisdom. Especially when we’ve previously felt like we were met with silence when we prayed for answers.

I’ll confess, sometimes I struggle with verses like Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Not because I don’t believe God keeps all His promises, but because I’ve witnessed too many circumstances when people who love Him have suffered from things I would never call “good”. Like walking through yet another friend having a miscarriage, or getting the text that another family is in a medical crisis. We can all agree, none of those seem good.

It’s easy to live in a constant state of, “What’s the worst that could happen?” That’s where I found myself during pregnancy and those early days of motherhood. But one night during one of those late night spirals, my husband challenged me to flip the script. Instead of assuming the worst possible scenario, what if I assumed the best?

When he suggested that, my first reaction was resistance. Because it felt like my job to make sure everything with our daughter was okay. The more information I had, the better. And while that is partially true, I think the heart posture of not fearing the worst was something I needed desperately in those sleep deprived nights. I needed to let go of trying to control because the reality was, no matter how much I tried, there were still going to be things out of my control.

The question becomes: how do we do that? We can’t control everything—but we also can’t just ‘stop worrying.’ So what do we actually do?

It starts with remembering this: because Jesus died and rose again, we have the greatest gift of all: hope. In the midst of a broken world, we can know with confidence that no matter what we have or will face, God keeps all His promises, even the one in Romans 8:28: He is working all things for good. This is true both right now and for eternity. Good doesn’t mean life is easy or comfortable; it means God is still working.

Instead of feeding our fears it, we can:

Pause before we react

Pray before we search

And replace “what if everything goes wrong?” with “what if it’s all okay?”

As I’ve continued to navigate the early days of motherhood, those fears have not gone away. But when they arise I am practicing that new mindset. I am pausing, praying and asking: “What’s the best that could happen?” Not because I am avoiding what’s hard or confusing, but because it’s an act of faith to believe that God really has gone before me, and that He is with me. No matter what happens, I can trust in Him because He has kept every promise He’s made.

Funny enough, that’s part of the reason we named our daughter Hope—to be a reminder that putting our hope in the Lord never puts us to shame. (Romans 5:5)

Friend, what if we took God at His word and reminded ourselves He really is working all things out for good? What if we dared to live from a posture of faith that said, “the best is yet to come” because it is? God has given us the gift of hope beyond whatever we fear. Together, let’s cling to the fact that He keeps all of His promises.

What’s Helping Me Love It Here:

(Each post, I’ll share some things that have brought me joy, inspired me, or I think you would find fun!)

No shopping July: This month, I’m challenging myself to only purchase necessities. I wouldn’t call myself a shopper, but lately I’ve just been clicking “add to cart” one too many times, so I’m gamifying not shopping. How? Deleting the Target and Amazon apps off my phone. And (as always), trying to limit my scrolling so I’m not constantly seeing things I could purchase. I’ll let ya know how it goes!

Free activities: On the note, I’m trying to get creative with free activities to do. With an baby, it’s a little challenging, but here are some I’m loving so far: going to the beach (even if you don’t live a the beach, try going to a park or another outdoor space), trips to the library, walks with friends in different neighborhoods, picnics in the backyard. What would you add to the list?

Always,

Meghan

I’m so glad you’re here! If this post encouraged, I would be honored if you left a like or a comment. It helps me reach more amazing people like you!

To stay in touch, let’s connect on Instagram.

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The summer between 7th and 8th grade, I went to cross country camp. And yes, to those of you who aren’t runners, that’s about as awful as it sounds. We stayed in some dingy college dorm rooms and we ran for hours each day in the sticky, Florida summer heat. The smell of preteens post-run could send me straight back there.

The thing I remember most is going to the springs. In Northwest Florida, natural spring are all over the place. Some of crystal clear, others, not so much. If you don’t live by the coast they are a secret reprieve from the humidity because they are ice cold. And that’s about the closest I’ll ever come to doing a cold plunge.

The spring we went to that summer was not clear; the water was a darker, murky color. The main attraction though: a 3-story landing platform you could jump off. Was it actually 3 stories? Not sure, but in my twelve-year old’s memory, it was higher than anything I had jumped off before.

I’ve never been much of a risk taker, so it took a while to convince myself to join the rest of my team in jumping in. (And okay, I’ll admit it: it really took the cute boy I had a crush on agreeing to jump with me if I did it.) I had no idea how deep the water was and I could not see what was below the surface. Would I be able to touch the bottom and propel myself back up? Or would I just be left to my own strength to push back up to air?

Because here’s the truth then and now: I like knowing how things are going to turn out. Sometimes, when I’m particularly stressed out by a TV show or movie I’m watching, I’ll look up the ending so I can prepare what’s going to happen. (Please don’t judge me.) You won’t catch me sky-diving or chasing any sort of experience where I feel completely out of control.

Yet, so much of living by faith is like this, isn’t it?

Years ago, my friend Meredith told me something I never forgot:

“A lot of my life has looking like taking a leap and trusting God with the landing pad.”

It pops into my head whenever I have to make big decisions. And lately, I’ve had it looping on repeat.

Over a year ago, my husband and I felt like the Lord was leading us to move back to my hometown. Through a lot of prayer, and what we thought were clear signs, we started to pursue a move. Which mostly meant finding a job for Lucas. And for over a year, every door was shut in our faces. We would get our hopes up and then be disappointed. It was discouraging, lonely and honestly, we questioned whether or not we heard God right.

Then all of the sudden, that door opened and we walked through it. (I’ll save those details for another time.) But you know what? Not much else about the move has worked out so far. It feels like we’ve taken a leap and trusted God with the landing pad but we’re still free falling.

Sometimes when things don’t work out how we expected them to, it’s easy to question if we made the right decision. You’ve heard the example before: if God calls you to move overseas to be a missionary, He will sell your house and that will be a confirmation. (Note: our house in Nashville has NOT sold yet so this particularly makes me laugh.) We’ve had well-meaning people express their concerns on whether or not this is was the best choice. Because on paper, to some, it wasn’t. If you compare what we had to what we have, it’s not a straight, up and to the right decision. Especially based on things the world deems important like money, status, relationships, etc.

But that’s not how God works. Sometimes He may line up every detail, but often, He asks us to walk by faith and trust Him even when we don’t know what the outcome will be. (read Hebrews 11:1)

Today, this feels like a hard truth to cling to because doubt creeps in. For example, while we wait for our house to sell, our friends randomly found a new house when they weren’t looking to move. Within days their house goes under contract and they get the house they wanted. (And we are pumped for them!) It would be so easy for us to doubt God in this moment because it seems like He is working things out for our friends and not us.

However, we both can look back at so many moments in life when God has called us to take a leap of faith. For me, it was working in ministry and making no money, then moving to a city I had never been to, and quitting a job without having another one lined up. Sometimes the soft place to land came quickly and it was clear to me and everyone around me that God had done this. Other times, I felt like I had landed in that freezing cold spring water and never hit the bottom so I struggled to surface because nothing was coming together.

Was moving the “right” choice? We think so, but the enemy loves to plant seeds of doubt when details aren’t coming together. In that, we’ve had to learn to fight back: with truth from God’s word, by quieting voices that lead us to compare or doubt, and by remembering that God’s Kingdom looks different than the kingdom we’ve built in our heads.

Maybe you’re looking over the edge at a decision, afraid that you’re somehow not hearing God right because the details aren’t coming together. Or you’re worried you’ll royally mess up His plan for your life if you make the wrong decision. Or maybe doubt is coming at you from all sides and you don’t know what it true.

Here’s one of the best things I’ve learned about hearing God:

Unless you are choosing something that is blatantly sinful or you know the Holy Spirit is leading you a specific way, you can’t really make the wrong choice. If you are seeking God and trying to honor Him, He will meet you with a landing pad at the bottom of that leap of faith. It make not look exactly like you think it will, or how you want it to. But He is far too sovereign to let you mess up His will for your life.

So what’s the thing you are afraid to do, but can’t let it go?

Be afraid and do it anyway.

Easier said than done, but once it’s done, we get a whole lot more free. Free to have wild faith that will go where He calls us to go and do what He’s called us to do. Even when it is scary and uncomfortable. I would’ve missed some of the best parts of life if I hadn’t taken the leap. And I don’t want to miss them now.

Knowing how it all turns out takes the fun out of it anyway.

You still won’t catch me skydiving anytime soon. But since that 12-year old version of me jumped off the platform, I’ve tried to stay brave for her and keep jumping.

What’s Helping Me Love It Here:

(Each post, I’ll share some things that have brought me joy, inspired me, or I think you would find fun!)

On my nightstand: I’m going to confess I’m reading too many books at once. My summer fiction read right now is just delightful. I also like to read something faith-based so I’m reading this one by my dear friend friend Wendy as my Bible study for the summer and this new one by Jennie Allen. Then I’ve thrown in this one that’s sort of parenting, but also just interesting for how dopamine effects us all. (I get most of my books from the library! So don’t sleep on your local library this summer.)

From my kitchen: Fresh fruit all day every day. Find me eating watermelon salad with something Lucas grilled on the Blackstone all summer long.

From my closet: Let’s be honest: I’m still postpartum and not interested in trying to figure out what to wear so I am on the Nuuly train indefinitely. Easy summer dresses and jean shorts without committing to keep them? Love it. Use this link for $30 off!

MeeMaw summer: This is basically analog summer and I’m here for it. Thing hobbies your grandma is doing. I’ve got lots of things going to keep me off my phone, and present each day. Think: using my film camera more, watercolor paints (this is the current one I’m using), going on more walks, and tending to my new Pathos and Aloe plants. The latest addition? Word searches. Instead of pulling out my phone out, I sit on the porch and it’s very calming at the end of the day. This is the latest one I’m doing for all my millennial friends.

Always,

Meghan

I’m so glad you’re here! If this post encouraged, I would be honored if you left a like or a comment. It helps me reach more amazing people like you!

To stay in touch, let’s connect on Instagram.

Leave a comment

For most of my adult life, I’ve tried to have a “quiet time” in the morning. And I’ve always had an idealized version of how that time should go.

On the best mornings, I would have at least an hour (if not more) to leisurely spend time with God. I’d have a perfectly made latte in hand (maple syrup and sea salt, please). A neat stack with my Bible, journal, a study book, and my favorite pen. An early morning where I can hear the birds, ideally on a porch or in a well-worn chair by a window.

Deeper than the setup, though, I’ve also had expectations for what I would feel and experience during that time.

I’ll learn something that applies directly to my life—it will be like God is writing on the clouds as I read words on the page. As I journal, I’ll feel His presence and comfort so tangibly that it’s like He’s sitting right there with me.

But if you’re here, then you know all too well that’s rarely (if ever) how time with God goes…

And I wish I could say I have the formula to make it so…as if the closeness we feel to God is a direct correlation to how perfectly we set up our quiet times.

There have been seasons of my life when I had more mornings like the ones I just described. Especially when I was fresh in my faith, I felt a passion and fire for God.

Nowadays, it often feels like I’m trying to get myself back there.

Do you ever feel that way? Like you’re constantly looking back to a previous season in your faith and trying to duplicate it?

My friend Shae told me something years ago that has stuck with me:

Sometimes old things don’t work in new seasons.

Which is certainly true in this season of being a new mom.

Everything takes three times as long. A five-week Bible study has turned into a ten-week Bible study. My already-hard-to-read handwriting is even more illegible from balancing my journal with one hand while nap-trapped. Full disclosure: I often don’t have a shirt on because I’m sitting in our nursery rocker between feeds.

Most of the time, I’m interrupted within minutes by squirms and grunts, little cries and dirty diapers.

While God (thankfully) remains the same in every season, we are different.

Our schedules are different. Our relationships are different. Our lives are different.

My time with God looked different in college than it did when I started my first job. It looked different when I was single than it has while married. And it looks different now than it did before becoming a mom.

This is true whether you’re a new mom or simply walking through another season of change. That change may not even be externally, but it could be internally too.

But what if we’re overcomplicating time with God?

What if it’s not about creating the perfect morning experience, but instead simply about spending time with Him?

Quieting our hearts.

Learning about His character.

Growing to distinguish His voice.

Reminding ourselves of what’s true on the days we don’t feel it.

It doesn’t always feel exciting or look impressive, but that discipline adds up over time.

Motherhood is reminding me—in more ways than one—that presence is more important than performance.

Right now, I’m enjoying reading Hope The Jesus Storybook Bible before her midday nap. While she has no idea what I’m saying, I’m believing that the Word of God does not return void (Isaiah 55:11) and that Truth is getting into her somehow. She loves the illustrations, and it’s giving me a refreshing, childlike perspective on Scripture. It’s not a deep theological study, but it is reminding me of who Jesus is.

I’m also loving the She Reads Truth daily reading guides. While I’m sleep-deprived and usually balancing a baby on my lap, the guides make it easy for me to get in the Word each day. The daily reading plan helps me stay mostly consistent because I don’t have to decide what to read. I can simply show up exhausted and enjoy the way they beautifully present Scripture. And honestly, it’s nice that they’re easier to carry around than my entire Bible. It’s the little things right now!

I wonder if the season you’re in is inviting you to try something new in your quiet time. It doesn’t have to be complicated.

Maybe it’s reading a few verses in the Bible app.

A 30-second prayer on your drive to work.

Listening to a favorite Scripture-based worship song while you make your coffee.

Swapping journaling for a prayer walk.

Or maybe this is a season for something more structured and deeper. (I share a lot about studying the Bible in this post.)

It’s clear that the more time we spend in God’s Word, the more it changes us.

There will be days when that time feels like experiencing the best meal you’ve ever eaten. And there will be days when it feels like eating for sustenance.

But both are feeding your soul. Both are sustaining your faith. Both matter for your spiritual health. And both matter to God.

Even if God seems distant or silent. Even if you’re tired and feeling hopeless. Even if it seems like it’s not doing anything. Even when you don’t want to.

Something new for a new season.

Just don’t stop meeting with God, okay?

Always,

Meghan

Regardless of what season you find yourself in, I’d love to help you find resources to spend time with Jesus this summer!

Comment on this post with a specific topic, book, or area of study you’re looking for—and let me know what format you prefer (a Bible study, devotional, book, podcast, etc.). I’d love to send some recommendations your way.

There are also plenty of great free resources online if you need help finding those too.

She Reads Truth is giving my friends 15% off with code MEGHANR15. Maybe your new thing is grabbing one of their daily reading guides!

And if you have a resource you love, I’d love for you to share it with us too.

Leave a comment

“You’re all caught up.”

A few friends made this joke when we told them we were expecting our first baby last year. If you’re new around here, a few years ago I wrote a book called You Are Not Behind, and it’s about building a life you love without having everything you want. When I started writing it, I was newly 30, single, living off a ministry salary and reconciling that my life looked nothing like I thought it would at that point.

Fast forward just a few years later and a lot has changed. I’m currently sitting on my couch typing as quickly as a can we my baby monitor propped up next to my laptop. Any second now my 3 month old daughter Hope could wake up and I’ll have to press pause on this until another time (update: I didn’t make it very far before this happened).

Some days even I can’t believe what all has transpired in such a short amount of time. I am so grateful this is my life. God really has done more than I could ask or imagine. This newborn season has been so sweet and I am trying to soak up every last second of it. Even the hard parts.

But, now that I’m back to sharing my writing again, that joke is ringing in my mind. While our friends didn’t mean anything by it, it did strike some insecurities and fears of mine. Now that I am married and a mom, I’m wrestling with where to go from here.

While my book was not a book about singleness, I was single when I wrote it. And while it was not about longing to be a mom one day, I wasn’t a mom when I wrote it. One of the best parts about this online space is that I’ve “met” a lot of you who are single and longing to be moms through what I shared in my book and through those specific seasons of my life. I know all too well the ache of longing for those things too. I also know how hard it can be to watch someone else get those things you want.

My life has changed. And as much as I don’t want to admit this, I’ve changed too. So…now what?

Part of me wants to hang it up, go off the grid and that be okay. (I’ve tried this, hence why I keep extending my “maternity leave”.) But I know that I can’t do that. So much of how I process with the Lord is by writing it out. There is something deep in my bones that tells me hanging it up would be disobedience, even if these days it’s hard to balance a laptop and type with one hand while I’m nap trapped (and trust me, I keep trying!). Getting my thoughts out of my brain and into sentences isn’t as easy as it used to be but when I can do it, it’s helpful to me. And in turn, I hope helpful to you too.

Deeper than that though, I think I am trying to figure out who I am and who I am becoming in this new chapter. I’ve watched a lot of my peers become moms, and in a way I’ve watched them let go of a lot of who they were before motherhood. One of my fears was that would be me. That suddenly all I would talk about is sleep regressions, and why I love my stroller and forget that I have more going on in my heart and my life outside of my baby.

Now I am a mom, and that role has felt bigger than any other I’ve had before. I get why it’s all my mom friends talk about. It feels like you’ve entered a new group. And it is very all consuming. But I don’t want everything I share to go from feeling behind (which I still feel about different things in a whole new way these days), to life as a mom. So many of you here aren’t in the season I’m in, and I want to still be writing to you. If I’m being honest, I don’t know how to balance tension of the two in myself, let alone with other people.

I’m afraid of looking “all caught up”. Of no longer being relevant in the ways I used to be. Of losing touch with you. In a lot of ways I feel like I am losing what I put my identity in for so long. Which is a lot of what motherhood is: losing yourself (really dying to yourself but I’ll share more about that another time). This is a good thing, but it’s still hard. And while I don’t know how yet, I do believe there are ways to be a mom without it becoming my entire personality.

Strangely though, in the midst of a lot of change and struggling to figure out who I am, all I’ve wanted to do is write. I’ve had more ideas bouncing around in my head than I have since I wrote my book. And if it’s okay with you, I’d love you to stick around while I get them out.

Maybe you’re not in the same spot as me right now, but I bet we have more in common than you think we do. We may have different circumstances, but are probably asking God similar questions. We’re probably both trying to figure out how to steward where God has us while still being hopeful for what is ahead.

It feels good to finally get this all of my chest. If you have made it this far, thank you.

Before we go, here is the biggest truth I want to remind both of us: God is the same now as He was then. He’s still as good and as kind and as loving today as He was when my life looked completely different. There’s something deeply comforting about that fact that no matter how much in and around us changes, He remains the same, perfect Father with good plans for each of us.

What’s Helping Me Love It Here:

(Each post, I’ll share some things that have brought me joy, inspired me, or I think you would find fun!)

On my nightstand: Currently readying Create Anyway, and it’s reminding me why my art still matters as a mom. My bestie Morgan’s new book, Made to Magnify, is just what I need in this new season of my life not being about me. I also read The Corespondent and it is worth the hype!

From my kitchen: Living off these PB bites as snacks (especially for breastfeeding IYKYK). You can skip the brewer’s yeast (I usually do).

Hope’s favorite: These tummy time books are her favorite and I will be getting them for every new mom from now on.

Coming soon: Next few posts are in the works! When quiet time looks different, going analog for the summer, what makes a good day v. dad days, and taking the leap without seeing the landing pad. Check back for more soon!

Always,

Meghan

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Yesterday was sort of dream weather in Nashville for a Florida girl like me. Sunny, low 70s, lots of clouds, a small breeze. It being the week between Christmas and New Years, it’s also really quiet around town.

We are in the final days of baby watch, and most of the to-do’s are done. I knew this morning we were waking up to sub-20s temps so I decided to spend the afternoon reading on our back porch. It felt like a rare luxury. After finishing a chapter, I spent some time just watching the clouds. It was the first time in months I can remember actually feeling relaxed. Content. At ease. I didn’t want to, or feel the need to be anywhere or be doing anything else.

My mind felt slow and uncluttered. My heart rate became steady, although being this pregnant, my breath was still a little heavy! But I finally could really think clearly. I’ve got this thing with looking at the sky–it helps me remember that it’s not falling, that God is still in control, and everything really will be okay. And I don’t do it nearly often enough.

But there are still a lot of things we hoped would happen this year that didn’t. And yesterday God gave me the permission to admit that. That I could hold disappointment and joy at the same time.

Praying into the next year, I have been worried. I have a lot of fears about motherhood. All the usual ones like: What will change? Will I know what I am doing? What is life going to look like?

But also I feel a shift in my identity. While I think being a mom is one of the most beautiful and important roles I can undertake, and something I’ve dreamed of my entire life, I don’t want being a mom to become my whole personality. Can I still be me even after adding this role?

She’s not even here yet and suddenly a new group of people are interested in getting closer to me. It’s all people want to talk about. And I find myself resisting it because I was a whole person before I got pregnant, and I don’t want to default to only having mom friends, or only talking about my child. Maybe that’s the wrong way to think about it. I don’t have those thoughts tidied up yet, maybe I will have more soon. For now, I’m just sharing the messy ones with you.

I also haven’t known how to be present in writing or online because pregnancy has mostly been what is going on, and I want to be sensitive to my friends who want to be in this season. It’s hard not to carry guilt for getting to have something other people want. Especially when they are people I love so dearly.

Plus, I have been the girl talking about feeling behind for years, and even though I still have those same feelings some days, my life has changed so drastically these past few years, I don’t know what to share anymore. Are people expecting me to share and encourage in certain ways? If I’m not talking about the same type of stuff as I was before, would people leave?

Instead, I just avoided being online all together. I know that wasn’t the right move, but I let fear keep me from trying anyway.

So, now what? Where do I go from here? How do I look ahead to a new year and ask God for vision when I have no idea what’s ahead?

I have opted to forgo my usual goal-setting for next year. But I’ve made Pinterest boards and asked God to give me a word for the year and increase my hope for what is ahead. Earlier this month, I was stuck in traffic driving home from the gym and a word came clearly to my mind: embrace.

Embrace (verb): to avail oneself of; welcome

Accept, cherish, love, hug

The opposite of reject

One thing I have not done in 2025? Embrace it. I have fought tooth and nail against embracing–clinging to control, resisting change, rejecting anything that was not my plan. It’s made me both anxious and exhausted.

Getting that word woke something up in me. I became painfully aware of how I was white-knuckling and naval-gazing. It reminded me that my life is not about me, my wants, my desires, my plans. This life, above everything else, is temporary. And the disappointment, delays and doubts aren’t meant to derail me; they are designed to make me dream of eternity.

One of my phrases since writing You Are Not Behind is “love it here”. It’s been the theme of how I want to encourage you (and me) to love where we are even if it’s not what we want. Not because we need to feel good about ourselves, but so we trust in our faithful and good Father. “Love it here” feels like it goes with “embrace” to me.

So here’s how I’m walking into 2026:

Embracing an unknown season of becoming a mom.

Embracing an unknown version of myself and who I will become this year.

Embracing my postpartum body in ways I couldn’t embrace my pregnant one.

Embracing where we live, even if we don’t know how long we are going to be here.

Embracing God being in control over my life and that is better than me being in control.

Embracing showing up imperfectly, even if that makes me at risk of being misunderstood.

Embracing the new ways I will experience joy and hope.

Embracing my daughter in my arms.

Embracing my husband without my belly in the way.

Embracing no plans.

Embracing slowness.

Embracing weakness.

Embracing presence.

Even above all that, allowing myself to fall into God’s loving embrace of me. Just as we see in Luke 15:20, I want to let God be my Father.

“So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.” Luke 15:20 (NIV)

While this year is going to be mostly centered around the year of becoming a mom, I still have some small goal-type things on my list. Like mastering a polished makeup routine. Having a closet that makes me want to not just wear workout clothes, but also doesn’t make me feel overwhelmed with options. Starting a new book writing project. Trying to show up consistently here. Realistically + sustainably returning to pre-pregnancy things I loved to do for exercise like running and learning to play tennis. Reading more than scrolling. Finding a meal plan → grocery shopping → cooking system that I enjoy more than I dread.

Can’t wait to see what He does with each of our stories next year.

Full of hope…

Always,

Meghan

Do you have a word for the year? Or enjoy setting goals and making vision boards? I’d love to hear what you are hoping for in 2026!

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We have a painting of ducks hanging in the corner of our little living room. My mother-in-law found it when Lucas first moved in–so it was there before I entered the picture. But it’s one of my favorite pieces in our house.

I cherish it because it reminds me of a story my aunt told me right after my college graduation. That time of life is one of the most vulnerable. If you’re there, you are feeling it now: the mix of fear and excitement for what’s ahead. The possibilities are both endlessly and paralyzing.

Even over a decade removed, I find myself in seasons where I feel similar things. At the time, I felt stuck. I didn’t know what I was doing with my life. The reality of officially entering “the real world” scared me.

Regardless of your age or season of life, do you ever have those days (or weeks or months) where you don’t know where God is or what the heck He is doing? But instead of bringing to the Lord, you just get busy? Then you let it all pile up and it gets harder and harder until you feel like giving up?

It’s almost like we avoid dealing with our junk because we are afraid of what God will say or do. We think it’s easier to ignore our mess instead of dealing with it. So, what do we do? We numb out by trying hard to do it all ourselves.

One day I shared some of this with my aunt, and that’s when she told me about her post-grad experience. In her mid-twenties, she had to move back home temporarily between jobs. Defeated, embarrassed and lost, she had no idea what to do next. And she felt too beat down to put herself out there again.

This is a spot many of us have found ourselves in at one point or another.

But my no-nonsense, Boston, Irish-Catholic grandpa told her she couldn’t sit around all day and that she needed to go apply for jobs. So, every day she would get dressed, take her briefcase and tell her dad she was going on “various interviews”. Instead of resumes in her briefcase, there was just a loaf of bread. She would sneak away to the park all day and sit on a bench to feed the ducks. Then, she would come home pretending she spent all day job-hunting.

Part of me still laughs as I imagine this happening. But, often this is how I feel: lost on what I want to do, defeated because I can’t figure it out and too exhausted to face it at all.

Eventually my grandpa got suspicious of her daily outings. One day he wrestled her briefcase away from her while she was on her way out the door. Opening it, he was so confused and she looked at him, tears in her eyes, and told him what she had been doing.

She feared he would be upset. Or disappointed in her. He was the type of man who worked hard and didn’t make excuses.

To her surprise all he said was, “Let me get my coat,” and that day they went and fed the ducks together.

I still get a little emotional thinking about this story. Not just because I knew my grandfather and it makes me miss him, but because something about his response reminds me how our Heavenly Father sees us.

Literally, and figuratively, I get dressed up on the outside, act like everything is fine and pretend I know what I’m doing. I go through the motions. I try to handle all life throws at me myself and don’t ask for God’s help. I think if I ignore the hard or confusing, maybe, just maybe, it will go away. I get overwhelmed and hide, pretending I am secure when in reality, I feel like my world is falling apart.

But that’s not how God wants you or me to live.

He’s not disappointed, He’s not ashamed, and He doesn’t make us solve the world’s problems. God already knows where we are at, and He knows where we are going. He simply wants us to let Him in on how we are really feeling and join us while we go do things like feed the ducks.

Life with Christ is not supposed to be so burdensome. Yes, being a Christian is hard, and I can’t find somewhere in the Bible that says we will always be free of days like these. But Jesus wants to be the one to carry our burdens. He just wants us to walk with Him while He does.

“My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:30

For the achiever and perfectionists out there like me, this is good news. Actually, it’s good news for all of us. We don’t have to face the unknowns and uncertainties of life alone. It’s not our job to do it all and do it all well. God is the one in control. He is working all things out. He has not forgotten us.

I don’t know what you are facing today. Maybe today you are lost and confused and have no direction for your future and God seems distant and silent when you ask. Or you are in the throws of work or motherhood or taking care of aging parents and can barely think about anything else, let alone believe God cares about the details of your life. Or maybe you are questioning if you made a mistake or took a wrong turn, and feel too ashamed to ask God for help.

What if you took some time, even if it’s just a few minutes to go “feed the ducks” today? Go outside. Watch your favorite movie. Drive around with your favorite song on and nowhere to be. Watch the sunset. Sit in silence. Pause. Breathe.

Then, invite God to be there with you. No agenda. No plans. No trying to earn His love or favor.

Remember, He delights in being with you more than you doing things for Him.

He has not forgotten us here.

What’s Helping Me Love It Here:

1// What I’m reading: Theo of Golden is my fiction book this month and I’m savoring the beauty of the story and the writing is just brilliant. The Anxious Generation, has been on my list for a while but finally diving in (also I cannot stop thinking about this Substack article from their team). I’ve got this one in my Amazon cart and can’t wait to get started.

2// Soup season is almost here! Whipped this one up over the weekend and it’s *chef’s kiss* with a ham and gruyere grilled cheese.

3// Playing with my film camera. We just got back from a quick trip to Malibu (recap + photos coming next week!) and I loved using it instead of my phone.

Always,

Meghan

P.S.— I have a just a few Not Behind hats left. Wear this as a reminder that God has a purpose for you right here, right now. Use code SUBSTACK to get $5 off before they are gone!

I remember the summer between my junior and senior years of college, I waltzed into a Lifeway bookstore (dating myself here / also RIP to Lifeway bookstores) and picked out a study Bible. It had been a rough end to a disaster of a school year. Between several really embarrassing nights of ringing in my 21st year, breaking up with my long-term boyfriend and failing out of my major, I was desperate for hope. I needed a big change.

God had graciously pursued me through all of that year. I’ll save those stories for another time. But as someone who grew up knowing a lot about Jesus, I was aware that He was the only answer for all of my pain. I wanted to know Him intimately, not just know all the things about Him. So I sought out a new Bible that I silently prayed would be the start of a new chapter.

While I know you don’t need a new Bible to experience new life in Christ, that summer Jesus met me in such a deep and personal way. Every morning I sat on my parent’s screened in porch with a cup of coffee, that Bible and a journal. Some mornings I just read. Others I cried healing tears as I realized the depths of God’s love for me. But I fell in love with Jesus that summer, and fell in love with studying the Bible too.

So much has changed over the last 10 years. There was the phase where I tried to switch that cup of coffee out for matcha, and that was short-lived. Between the 11 houses I’ve lived in, I had different spots: an adirondack chair on the front porch, a blue living room couch, a plaid chair by the window. But one thing that has remained constant: I try to open my Bible each morning while I spend time with God. There have been many days I don’t, but I can tell a difference on the days that I do.

The Bible is an avenue to knowing God. The Bible itself is not God, but it tells us who He is, and what He is like. It shows us how He has kept His promises, and reminds us of who we are. It is Truth, the only Truth. I don’t have a relationship with the Bible, but I do have a relationship with the One the Bible is about.

I’ve gone through many different seasons of what my morning “quiet time” looks like. There have been times when I’ve read one verse and a devotion, or I’ve gone through a topical study with a group. One year I even read through the whole Bible. Which, I don’t know that I would try to do again! That morning time doesn’t always look like it did that first summer. Sometimes it’s full of emotion, both happy and sad, other times it feels like I’m simply checking a box. I’ve found still value in showing up anyway. Much like daily exercise, you don’t always feel like the reps are doing anything, but one day you’ll look back and see they mattered.

In the past few years though, studying the Bible sort of became part of my job. And with that, I found myself less and less motivated to dedicate that time each morning to any sort of in depth study. Thankfully, prayers have been answered and this year, for the first time in a long time, I want to study again.

Fast forward several months from that summer in college, I read Women in the Word by Jen Wilkin, and it was such a practical/helpful resource for getting started on studying the Bible for myself. It’s been years since I referred back to it, but I pulled it out last month because Lucas and I decided this fall to study Isaiah together. I’m using it as a guide for how I’m studying, and thought it would be helpful to share with you!

// First things first, I need somewhere to take notes. The classic lined Moleskins usually do the trick for me, but any sort of journal/paper works.

// I like to start studying a book by watching the Bible Project overview videos. They give you a 30,000 foot view of the book, and the context is always helpful. You can get similar information if you have a Study Bible at the start of each book. This is the exact one I’ve used since college.

// Two bonus resources I like to keep close by are my dad’s old Halley’s Bible Handbook, and the Matthew Henry Concise Commentary (which is also available free online!). These both have overviews of each book, but also chapter-by-chapter commentary/important details.

// After I’ve watched the Bible Project video and read the overviews in my Bible or commentaries, I read a chapter each day. You can just use your regular Bible, or you can print out the chapters if you like to mark them up. Lately, I’ve loved using the individual ESV journal Bibles for this because they have margins where you can take notes. There are paperback options for each book, or these beautiful spiral bound ones that have multiple books in them. They are super affordable too!

// Usually I read through and mark anything that sticks out to me, or stuff I have questions about. I love using the Le Pens for this–they don’t bleed a lot and are smudge proof for lefties like me. I’ll make notes of anything that sticks out: encouragement, what I don’t understand, what sounds familiar. I try to just sit with the chapter before going back to the commentaries so I can allow the Holy Spirit to show me what He wants to show me, without any other voices.

// After I do that, I’ll read the commentaries and pull out my Study Bible to gain more insights and context, and try to answer some of the questions I had. Study Bibles also have cross references to where else that verse is referred to in the Bible so I’ll look up a few of those too.

// In Women in the Word, Jen teaches you how to outline each chapter. Which really means taking the different chunks and writing out a line of what each section was about in your own words. So I’m doing that in journal.

// Jen also has three questions to ask each time you read:

What does this passage teach me about God?

What does this passage teach me about myself?

How should I respond to this passage?

I’ll journal those at the end. Sometimes those are easier to answer than others. But it’s such a good practice to help you process what you are learning.

*Important!!! I try to have a time of prayer before or after I study. Sometimes it’s five minutes, others it’s longer, and usually I journal through my prayer time in a separate journal. This is more of the conversational time with God.

Now, that may sound like a lot to some of you and that’s okay! It takes me anywhere from 30 minutes-1 hour to do that depending on if I’m in a rush or not. My season of life makes this easy to fit in, but I know that’s not going to be the case always. Lucas has less time in the morning than me, and he’s reading a chapter a day along with this study guide. Much more simplified if that’s something you’re interested in.

The point is not to do this all perfectly, it’s just to spend time in God’s word. When I finish Isaiah, I’ll probably do something simpler for a little bit, but for now enjoying the time I have to learn a little more.

I’d love to help you find resources to spend time with Jesus this fall. Comment on this post if there’s a specific book/topic you want to study and what format you are looking for (a study, devotional, book, etc.) and I’ll send you some recommendations! There are also tons of free resources online that I can share too. And if you have any you want to share, drop them in the comments too!

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What’s Helping Me Love It Here:

1// A roundup of all those Bible study resources can be found here!

2// The FORM workout app. For the days I go lift at the gym, to at-home prenatal workouts, this app really has been so helpful to me. It’s nice to have a plan to follow and is great when I don’t want to go take a class. Use this link to get 20% off your membership!

3// Fall is here?! And while it still feels like summer in Nashville, I’ve got my pumpkins on the front stoop and am shopping all the seasonal veggies. This chili recipe is on hold for the first day the temperature decides to drop and we’ll be firing up You Got Mail this weekend.

4// My hyperfixation right now is what I’m calling my “after school snack”: sliced app, a bougie cheddar cheese (specifically Unexpected Cheddar from Trader Joe’s or the Merlot soaked BellaVitano) and some almonds. Gets me through that between lunch and dinner hump.

5// SALE ALERT: I have a VERY limited number of Not Behind hats left. Use code SUBSTACK to get $5 off before they are gone!

Always,

Meghan

As an oldest child, Type-A perfectionist, I can find myself putting so much weight on how much I get done in a day. I’ve got to-do lists for my to-do list and those lists seem to never get done. Then in an effort to distract myself from my shortcomings, I scroll through social media only to see everyone showing off their latest life hacks and product must-haves…

How to meal prep in 30 minutes or less.

Find your best working hours to get the most done.

These supplements have changed my whole life.

Get the most of your workouts.

10 things you must buy as a mom to survive.

Sometimes it just feels like too much–too many ways to improve, optimize, and somehow still feel like I’m falling short.

Now we are also faced with the rise of AI. And the world seems to be trying to move at a faster pace than ever before. If time is the only finite resource, we have to do everything we can to find more of it. Efficiency has become king. “Do more in less time and you’ll live your best life!”

In the process, I've even felt the quantity is more important than the quality. In an effort to get it all done, I’m tempted to take shortcuts and skip the work of wrestling through ideas, and praying about wisdom.

What is all this productivity doing to our souls?

It’s no secret: we are becoming more stressed, depressed, lonely and anxious than ever before. Much of that comes from the increasing connection online. Whether it’s remote working or various forms of social media, it seems like we have to constantly be available and producing something. Whether it’s answering emails late at night or constantly coming up with new content to post, we are expected to keep up. Instead of accepting our limits, we use the latest ChatGPT prompts to do more.

Which I have to remind myself, in and of itself this is not all bad! It can actually be helpful in so many ways. Productivity has its place. Some things really do have to get done–and if there are ways to do those things better, then we should try them!

But productivity can’t become the point by which we measure our worth. And as a creative—and a human—I’ve been asking myself: how is this affecting me?

Sure, it would be easy to take shortcuts for the sake of trying to reclaim my time. But in the process I feel like I become a “human doing” rather than a “human being”. Moving through life trying to get as much done as possible instead of being present in it.

Is this really how God wants us to live?

Maybe life really is more about being present than about being productive.

We all feel that ache for more in our souls. That lingering wondering of, “Is this all there is?” Even those of us who love our jobs have days where we hit the wall and it doesn’t satisfy. While we love our families and feel grateful for roofs over our heads, there are still days where our heads hit the pillow and we question if we did enough.

I feel this tension constantly–on one hand I want to get it all done so my mind is free to enjoy the rest of life. But on the other hand, I wonder if it all really has to be done. What if I could accept my limits? Mentally, physically and emotionally? Could I set aside feeling the need to do it all and just learn to be present?

Years ago, I had a good habit of Sabbathing–where I actually turned off my phone for 24 hours and put aside anything that felt like work. While it was hard, eventually it did become the day I looked most forward to in my week. Because it was the day I finally felt human again. I have one thousand excuses for why I let this rhythm go, but as my whole life has seemed to slow down, I am craving it again.

As I’ve disciplined myself to practice presence over productivity, I’ve found the freedom to enjoy what’s right in front of me. I’ve noticed beauty in nature. Tasted the richness of nourishing foods. Experienced the love of being fully known in relationships. Discovered enjoyment in doing things just for fun. Heard the voice of God in prayer and through reading the Word. And I’ve found that the work to be done, the lists to be checked off, and the things to create all become richer and more meaningful when I live from this posture of presence.

What could choosing presence over productivity look like for you today?

Reading the extra chapter instead of doing the laundry

Putting away my phone to look at my husband across the dinner table

Skipping the gym to go for a walk outside with no headphones

Taking the long way home (with the windows down)

Not Googling the answer and being okay without knowing it right away

Trying the new recipe even if it takes a little longer

Handwriting instead of typing

Asking God to remind me that my worth is not tied to my work

There will always be things to do. But there won’t always be time to be.

Here’s What’s Helping Me Love It Here:

1// My murder mystery book club. Now, these are not scary books. Think like who-done-it, like a game of Clue type storylines. We’ve ready four books together so far, and it’s been so fun to trade theories as we go. This month we ready Murder Takes a Vacation. You can check out the others on my Goodreads profile.

2// My college friends group chat. We’ve all had a lot going on this summer–some exciting and some really hard. But there’s just something about having a group where we can share it all. This week we of course went wild at Taylor Swift’s engagement, and are all gearing up for Kelsey’s wedding in the spring. The gift of friendships with history–I love them so much.

3// My back porch. The humidity and heat broke this week in Nashville and I’ve spent hours on our back porch. Journaling and praying in the morning, and reading in the evenings. I highly encourage everyone to find a way to create an outdoor space, even if it’s just a $10 plastic adirondack chair you can pop on your front stoop during these nicer days.

To being HERE!

Always,

Meghan

“I just don’t have anything deep and meaningful to share.”

Those words have been ringing in my mind for months, but last week over coffee and French pastries I said them out loud to Mary Spencer. Having another writer friend to bounce ideas off of is such a gift, so we made a plan to meet early one Friday morning and actually sit down and write.

The problem was, I didn’t know what to write about…

Maybe it’s because I spent two years giving my all to writing a book, while also writing for my day job, but going into the new year, I knew something had to change. What once was a love of mine had lost all sparkle, and not only did I feel like I had nothing new to say, I didn’t care either. Which is why I decided the best thing I could do was plan to take off a couple months for social media and the pressure I put on myself of having to post content.

Writing has always been an overflow of paying attention to my life and what God was teaching me. It’s how I’ve processed and prayed and experienced freedom. And I want to get that back.

As I stepped away from social media at the beginning of the summer, I entered a season I didn’t expect. One that was slower, but not necessarily by my choice. I didn’t anticipate a back injury and months of physical therapy. Or that the plans we were making for the future weren’t happening in the ways and timing we expected them to. All of it felt really out of my control. It still does, because we are very much so in the middle: knowing change is coming, but not being able to do anything about it yet.

But one gift of this summer has been that I feel inspired again. I want to create things with my hands, and have loved tending to my flower beds. Instead of scrolling reels for hours, I’ve made mood boards for updating our guest room, and have wanted to put more effort into my personal style. I’ve loved looking at art and reading my coffee table books and cookbooks like they are magazines and dreaming of creating beautiful spaces and things.

So I told Mary Spencer all of that, and how I’ve been so grateful to feel out of the creative slump. But I confessed that it didn’t feel like it was my “niche” or “lane” to use space like this to talk about it because it’s not spiritual enough. While yes I feel God’s presence and delight in these things, it doesn’t feel like it matters.

Like a good friend, she challenged me to see that those thoughts aren’t true. There’s so much pressure to do things a certain way for algorithms and audiences. But does it have to be that way? Can’t simply the enjoyment of creating be a way we experience and express God’s love?

So I’m committing to writing even when it doesn’t feel deep or super spiritual.

Writing whatever comes to mind in that moment and not trying to fit it into the short space and parameters Instagram allows.

Writing without having to polish and filter what I’m thinking because there’s room to be wrong.

Writing in the style I want to and not the one that’s required in the many opportunities I get to publish my work.

Writing simply because I feel compelled to share and not care about the likes, comments and feedback I do (or don’t) get.

Writing because I feel like it’s what God made me not just to do, but also to enjoy.

Writing because it was an outlet, something that inspired everything else I did and filled me up.

I’ve loved Substack because I see so many other writers doing this. They are just writing as an overflow of life. They can’t help but put words and images on a page because they have to find somewhere to get them out.

So what is it for you? What are the things you find delight in that maybe feel silly or shallow? How can you press through and do them anyway?

Something in me is compelled to keep sharing messy, unfinished thoughts on the Internet, despite how much I resist it. Maybe it’s the Holy Spirit nudging me that this is life in God’s image: creating things that are imperfect, but loving it anyway.

Here’s What’s Helping Me Love It Here:

1// I have been on the hunt for a hat all summer and found this one on sale on sale. I’m not a huge shopper by any means but finding it has been the absolute DELIGHT of my week.

2// My Thursday lunch ritual. I have one Zoom meeting every Thursday right before lunch, and as soon as it’s over I assemble whatever I’m eating and turn on The Summer I Turned Pretty’s episode of the week. Is it about a college-aged love triangle? Yes. Where the plot lacks it makes up for in vibes and the soundtrack!!! I look forward to this little indulgence every week.

3// I broke out The Artist’s Way again last month and made it through 30 days of doing the morning pages. Which has been a challenging exercise in exactly what this post is about. I’ve started it more times than I can count over the last decade but I am committing to finishing it by the end of the year. It’s breathing life into my creative world.

4// From the kitchen: my old roommates and I had this enchilada bake on rotation a few years ago and I made it for the first time this week and forgot how amazing it is. Filling, yummy and leftovers for days. I like to add peppers and black beans to give it even more nutrition. Also made these protein banana muffins and wow! Like many of you, I’m trying to add that extra protein wherever I can and these do the job perfectly.

To creating!

Always,

Meghan

A friend and I were texting a couple of weeks ago about some exciting things we both have on the horizon. During the conversation, we both confessed it felt vulnerable and scary to let ourselves dream a little because there’s still so much unknown ahead. We shared things that we felt were out of control about each of our situations and why it feels hard to be hopeful.

I shot off a quick reply between grabbing a finishing lunch and running into Target to restock on some things: “There’s something to fear around every corner if we go looking for it.”

We don’t have to look very hard to find something to fear. We just have to open our phones, turn on the news, or talk to that one relative who is not exactly the “glass half full” type before we find something to be afraid of. In the midst of it though, we’ve convinced ourselves that fear gives us more control than hope.

Which couldn’t be further from the truth.

Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see.” (the NLT version) The Bible repeatedly tells us to hope and have faith, and it also repeatedly tells us not to fear. So why is it that the older I get, the more I cling to fear than hope?

Maybe it’s because I’ve been let down one too many times. Maybe it’s because I’ve experienced too many bad things happening. Maybe it’s because somehow if I am prepared for the worst, it will protect me from pain.

I write about this in my book: but I’ve spent so much of my life manipulating my hope in an effort to avoid disappointment.

Whether it was a new guy I went on dates with, a potential new opportunity at work or something else I secretly wanted to work out, I put on a front that said, “It probably won’t happen anyway.” I tried (and still try) to manipulate myself, others and God into thinking that I’ve got it all figured out.

“Can’t let them see you get too excited or you’ll be embarrassed when you have to go back and tell them later it didn’t work out.”

“Being hopeful feels a little naive and I’m too mature for that.”

“I’m realistic and I won’t get caught off guard because I knew this was going to happen anyway.”

But you know what I’ve found to be true?

Being hopeful didn’t make it hurt any more when it didn’t work out. On the flip side, being afraid didn't make it hurt any less either.

In reality, all we are doing is stealing happiness from today to better manage potential sadness for tomorrow. We rob ourselves of the joy of looking forward to something. Which I don’t think is how God wants us to live.

I still have videos of friends sharing news they are expecting and the baby didn’t make it.

I have thoroughly stalked men on the internet that my friends and I didn’t even end up going on a date with.

I have rallied in prayer with friends excited about a career opportunity that didn’t come to fruition.

I’ve looked at houses and pictured an entire lifetime of memories there, only for it to be sold the next day.

Now on the other side of those things not working out, there is sadness and pain and grief. And we need to feel those emotions just as much as we need to experience excitement. But none of that takes away from the celebration and joy that existed. Does that make sense? I’m not suggesting we don’t use wisdom in who we share with/when we share it, or that we put all our hope in our circumstances working out a certain way. (I did write a whole book about putting our hope in God instead.) But what if we stopped looking around every corner for something to fear, and instead gave ourselves permission to be hopeful?

More than that, what if we started looking around every corner for something to be hopeful about?

What if we told a friend? What if we prayed for it? What if we sought out reasons to look forward with expectation?'

Because in Christ, we have everything to be hopeful about. Often, we forget this. Not everyone in the world walks around with hope in their hearts for a world made right and new. Not everyone can stand on the truth that the best really is yet to come in eternity.

But we do.

I wish I could say I’ve mastered at this point, I’m still trying to protect myself from disappointment. But that’s not how I want to live. And I don't think that’s how God wants us to live either. I think there’s beauty in the joy of looking forward to something.

I’ve learned time and time again that choosing fear over hope doesn’t land me any less hurt in the end. And the worst part? I’m only protecting myself from POTENTIAL disappointment, not GUARANTEED disappointment. Some things can and do actually work out!

So if you, like me and my friend, have some things that you are really excited about on the horizon, can I offer you this challenge? Instead of trying to act like you’re not hopeful, will you let yourself just be excited?

Is that scary? Sure. But the reality is, if we’re honest, we still have hope whether we want to admit it or not. It’s how we decide to express that hope that shows what we believe. Hope is something hardwired in us by God. He calls us over and over again to put our hope in Him. We miss so much when we don’t let ourselves feel it. Plus the world is jacked up enough, so why wouldn’t we enjoy those days where we can actually feel happy?

So, here’s a game I’m playing: What would it look like to spend the rest of this year not trying to manipulate our hopes?

Maybe we’d actually get to experience the good gifts God has tucked into each day. Maybe the days we were happy would outnumber the days we were disappointed. And maybe, just maybe, we’d learn to love the lives we have instead of wishing for another one.

Here are some things helping me love it here:

1// These watercolor paints–I got them months ago, but have been scared to break them out because I hate being bad at something. Turns out, they are fun and don’t take as long as I thought. Your girl lovessss some step-by-step directions too. Am I going to be a watercolor artist? Nope! But it’s a fun creative activity that gets me off my phone.

2// Birkenstocks–my OG ones bit the dust years ago, but last month I hit a big goal for my book and decided to treat myself. I know they aren’t some crazy splurge, but they have been a great addition to my closet.

3// I’m reading a Proverb a day for the month of August. I love using this large spiral bound edition for note-taking–sort of gives me the back-to-school vibes this month calls for.

4// Re: on my “birthday money time” from last week, I’ve found myself reading in the bathtub. A luxury I would never give myself time to do, but I have been loving it! All you need is some epsom salt, a book and 20-30 minutes to unwind.

To getting our hopes up!

Always,

Meghan

You know when you keep putting something off because it sounds hard? But then the longer you put it off, the more it mentally plagues you? The anticipation of the task becomes more difficult than the task itself…

Yeah, I’ve been doing this with so many things all summer long. Particularly, with posting on here. But I finally got the nerve to start crossing some of those things off my list. Like some annoying house tasks we’ve put off, running those errands, and now, I’ve broken the seal and I’m putting pen to paper (or rather, words to screen).

One of the reasons I’ve dragged my feet on this, is because I just haven’t had a whole lot to say.

Summer has been slow…almost…boring…

I logged out of my social media accounts for an overdue Sabbath, thinking maybe if I had less distraction, I’d have more room to create. But I can’t say I’ve found new revelation to share, or felt particularly inspired by anything. However, I’ve been surprised that’s where I’m finding the beauty of it all. In the lack of rush to be places, in taking my time with each task, in lingering on the back porch to read just one more chapter.

It’s there I’ve found the summer I hoped for. It hasn't happened instantly, but instead with a lot of wrestling: letting go of productivity and accomplishment. There’s been a lot of anxiety in that. I’ve felt lazy, or like a failure–losing part of my identity in being goal-oriented and Type A. But I feel like I can finally accept the permission God has given me to just be. He’s not asking me to do more. He’s not disappointed in me. He’s showing me that I really can just rest, and actually trust Him with the rest.

There are seasons for everything, the book of Ecclesiastes says. Soon the season will change and so will the rhythms of my days. But for now, I’m doing my best to savor the summer set before me. For the first time in a long time, I feel like that’s enough.

Maybe you can too? Wherever you find yourself, whether it’s busy or slow, chaotic or calm, fun or boring–would you accept the permission your Heavenly Father has given you to be?

And if you need a little help savoring your summer like me, I have a free 4-day devotional guide to help you love the season you’re in. Click here to get it now!

Here are some things helping me love it here:

1// I’ve gone in and out of phases doing Nuuly, but it’s lowkey saving my life right now. I hate shopping for clothes and making decisions, and having just a few things to rotate through each month has been a gift. I feel free + -put together. It’s a win-win. Use this link for $30 off on your first month!

2// This is my self-proclaimed “skincare summer”. I’ve rarely been disciplined with a routine, but I’m trying to wear as little makeup as possible right now plus, it feels like a small way to pamper myself and savor the start and end of each day. I got this Plumping Spray–to be honest I have no idea what it does but it smells and feels delightful.

3// Do y’all have a library card? If you don’t, go get one! I’m making good use of mine these days between the Libby app on my Kindle, and actually going in person. I’m averaging about a book a week these days and loving it so much. The best part is that it’s FREE! Some books are meh, others are so fun. Trying to keep track of what I’ve read this year over on GoodReads if you wanna see what’s on my shelves!

4// I found this blog and it’s inspired my whole summer (the whole blog, not just the one post). Also, can I just say how much I miss this style of blogging?! Let’s bring it back!

When I sent it to my friend Mary Spencer, we decided we were going to do a weekly check-in on how we’re spending our “birthday money time”. Last week I resurrected my sour dough starter and indulged in reading on my back deck for a couple hours instead of working out. This week, I really want to attempt a new sour dough recipe, finally open the set of watercolor paints I’ve had for months (and use it!), and practice memorizing a new passage of Scripture. I’ll report back next time on how it goes.

5// Lastly, my hyperfixation has been summer fruits. When was the last time you had kiwi? I picked up fresh cherries at the farmer’s market this weekend and they taste like candy. Quite literally savoring the season! Also this caprese pasta salad is also the perfect summer dish. Great flavor, easy to make, and lasts for DAYS!

Here’s to more savoring this summer!

Always,

Meghan

I don’t know about y’all, but I don’t typically enjoy signing up for things that make me uncomfortable. I love a warm mug of good coffee in my temperature controlled home. I prefer soft clothes and own more matching sweatsuits than anyone could possibly need. And somehow I’ve found myself being the girl who is repeatedly uncomfortable; whispering (and in some cases shouting) to God for something, ANYTHING, to just feel comfortable.

In every season it’s looked a little different, but it’s always the same desire.

First it was fitting in. I wanted the comfort of belonging. Will they like me? How can I not rock the boat? But you know the fickleness of teen girls with lots of hormones…I could not make it last long enough.

But I like being comfortable…

Then it was navigating what it means to be an adult. I wanted the comfort of independence. How will I do this on my own? How do I figure this out? What will give me directions faster, God or Google? No matter how much trail and errors I learned, I could never have enough experience and knowledge to have it all figured out.

But I like being comfortable…

After that, it was moving away and starting over. I wanted the comfort of familiarity. Is Apple Maps my most used app (yes, Apple, don’t come for me)? How do I make new friends? Will this place ever feel like home? Eventually it became home, yes, but then I had to do it all over again four years later!

But I like being comfortable…

And while I may have gotten more comfortable with those discomforts, now it’s in my physical body. I want the comfort of health. What supplements can I take to optimize my body? How do I avoid injury or being sick? Can you imagine how bad it’s going to be when I get pregnant one day? Anything to avoid pain please! The reality of my body changing with aging and dealing with skin cancer has made me feel more uncomfortable and out of control than ever before.

But I like being comfortable…

It’s easy for us to cling to comfort because we’ve built a world where the illusion of it is at our fingertips.

We can Amazon ship it, Chatgpt it and try to morning routine life hack it.

But this year I’ve studied Ecclesiastes, Job, James and now Mark. No where does it lead me to believe I’m promised a comfortable life.

So why am I so desperate to have one?

Jesus told us:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

I don’t like this!!! Not one little bit!!! Am I allowed to say that?

The wrestling match of my mind and prayer life over wanting to be comfortable has reached a head. I’d like a life that is safe, secure and steady please and thanks!

As I write this, I’m peeking up all the pin board in my office. The one that has moved cities and homes with me, all these uncomfortable days. The one where the only thing that I’ve kept pinned through ever move is a little phrase. One I dared to pray so long ago:

Calling Over Comfort.

And I’m reminded, comfort is not really what I want. What I want is a life dependent on God. Not because that’s the easier way to live. Because I’m here to testify, nope, nope it’s not. The older I get, the harder than becomes. Maybe it’s because I’m more self aware or maybe because it feels like there’s more to lose.

Following God’s call costs something. Jesus was clear on that.

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. Mark 8:34

I’ve said it before: I expect far too much from this life. I love comfort. Comfort makes me feel like I am in control. And when I feel like I am in control, I can coast my way through life not bothering to stop and listen to where God is calling me to or to who He is calling me to be.

The problem with clinging to this definition of comfort, is that the second I start to lose it, I look to coping mechanisms to be the solution for my discomfort. I may not be making golden calves to worship in the desert like the Israelites, but I’m certainly making my own idols to help me cope.

What if God is offering us a different invitation? A better definition of comfort? An opportunity to trust how He’s calling us to surrender. A chance to find true comfort in the Comforter He gave us in the Holy Spirit.

2 Corinthians 1:3 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

God of all comfort. Really? It certainly doesn’t feel like that all the time. Especially today, as I have a heating pad soothing some random lower back pain I can’t shake despite trying every possible silver-bullet remedy I could find online.

Some days (usually Sundays), I believe this is true and I’m shouting yes to a life where He is my only source of comfort.

But in the quiet of my Wednesday night? Home alone with all the discomfort I’m facing? That shout barely becomes a whisper.

Is this aging? Is it the result of coming through a really hard season?

Or is it just life? And I’m left to decide which I will choose:

The narrow way God calls me to trust Him without knowing if things will work out the way I want them to.

Or the false senses of comfort I’ve built up that are so quickly fleeting.

I know the right answer. Not just in my head. I know from experience too…

Calling over comfort.

Maybe I can’t shout that with as much boldness and confidence after having to live it out. But in the deep cries of my soul, I know that’s what I want most. And today, maybe the whispers of it are enough.

Always,

Meghan

I didn’t grow up in a golf family. To be quite honest, I didn’t know much about golf at all until I started dating my husband. He did grow up in a golf family and like a lot of guys, is obsessed. Naturally, I took an interest in learning more (watching Full Swing on Netflix for sure helped!) and this year while Lucas was leading worship at our church’s Men’s Retreat for the weekend, I found myself choosing to watch The Masters alone.

A few years into tuning in, I had much more context for the players. I’ve fallen in love with the whole Masters experience and tradition of it all. And like many watching, I was cheering Rory McIlroy on to win his first green jacket and Grand Slam.

For those who don’t follow golf, here’s the skinny: Rory has never won at the Masters. He has won all 3 other majors (the 4 PGA tournaments played each year: The Masters, The PGA Championship, The US Open, and The British Open). If you have won all 4, you would achieve what they The Grand Slam. Only 5 other people (including Tiger Woods) have ever done it.

The last time Rory won a major was 11 years ago…when he was 24 years old. Since then, many new players have come and risen to the top of their game. Commentators and sports writers talked non-stop about whether or not Rory would make a comeback.

So Sunday night after Lucas got back in town, we had an early dinner reservation, and kept the round pulled up on his phone (in no other context would I ever actively choose to do this. But how could we turn it off?!) We felt the weight and anxiety when they went into the playoff round and all but jumped out of our chairs when Rory’s last put went in. I started crying.

I can’t help but think about the weight of winning this tournament for. He has spent over a decade working towards this. Several times, he came really close.

Was he wondering if his best days as a golfer were behind him?

Was he afraid he had missed his chance?

Was he feeling like everyone else was getting ahead?

Was he worried of messing it up?

Did he feel like he was behind?

This past weekend, the entire world was rooting for him to win. Each round and hole he played, everyone cheered his good shots and winced at his bad ones. Emotions rose and fell together. Collectively, we all wanted this victory for him.

And I can only imagine the emotions when that last putt dropped in and the weight of those questions fell off his shoulders. He finally did it!

Re-watching on social media this morning, I posted this:

I can’t help but wonder: if Rory had won sooner, would it have been this good?

Would everyone have rooted for him?

Would people have watched so closely?

Would it have proved something more because he was younger?

Or is somehow, the timeline of this all what makes it that much better?

Because the whole world wanted this for him.

We held our breath each hole.

We rode the roller coaster of emotions with him.

We wanted him to prove to himself and us that it’s still possible for our hopes and dreams to come true. That our best days aren’t behind us. That we didn’t peak in our twenties. That it’s not too late. That we can keep hoping.

In my life, there have been (and still are) things I so desperately longed for and prayed for. And the waiting is the hardest part. It’s easy to doubt and distrust that things will ever change. It’s hard to keep hoping when we keep getting disappointed over and over again.

But, when God finally answers those prayers, it’s always in ways even better than I ever imagined.

Each and every time I’ve been blown away by His faithfulness, whether it was finally getting married after being the last single friend, getting a book deal or getting a clear doctor’s report, it was somehow so much sweeter after all the waiting. If it had happened how and when and I wanted, I don’t think it would have been the same. I would have missed so much. Not just me, but the people who love me too. The ones who prayed and waited with me were cheering so loudly when it was finally my turn.

The same is true for you friend.

Wherever you find yourself feeling behind, struggling to remain hopeful or doubting God has a good plan for your life, let me remind you of this:

God has not forgotten you or left you; He is still working in your life, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

In the meantime, trust that He has something even better ahead. Something sweeter that is worth the wait.

Keep praying.
Keep believing.
Keep hoping.

Because if anything, a week like Holy Week reminds us that God keeps all His promises. And together, we can celebrate that.

For so long I felt stuck the cycle of getting my hopes up only to end up disappointed…again. I couldn’t reconcile the doubts that came when who I thought God was didn’t line up with the reality I was experiencing. In the waiting, I questioned if I could really love my life, and worse, if I could really trust God.

I know from reading your comments and messages that so many of you are in this season, a season of waiting on God and trying to hold onto hope when life looks nothing like you thought it would. That’s why I wrote You Are Not Behind for you. I wanted to remind you, and myself, that we can build lives we love, even when we don’t have everything we want. I’ve seen God do it for me, and I know He longs to do it for you too. You can get your copy at the link below.

get your copy

Always,

Meghan

I’ve moved a few times in my adult life. And each one gets a little harder for one reason: leaving people. My heart feels like it lives in multiple places.

The best and deepest friendships I hold are spread out all over the country, and what I would give to all be living on the same street again (and some of them, under the same roof again). In the midst of a lot of missing, here’s a love letter to my people who are just too far away.

(You know who you are!)

On long-distance friendship:

There’s something about being known.

No matter how much time has passed, it’s hard not to miss this…

The people who knew you when.

The ones you don’t have to explain yourself to.

Where there’s no, “you had to be there’s”.

And realizing it’ll never be the same.

Now it’s “Let’s catch up soon” and “I miss you” texts.

Sending voice memos when you something reminds you of them.

Scheduling calls and FaceTimes that go by too fast.

It’s pulling out calendars and planning reunion trips that will just never be long enough.

And dreaming about if we could all move to the same city again.

Kicking ourselves that we didn’t take advantage of being physically close.

But it’s also knowing that one day there will be room in your heart for more. That one day you’ll have “your people” again.

With a little effort.

Time.

Vulnerability.

Going first.

In the meantime it’s okay to confess what you are missing.

To experience the loneliness and ache of the ones who know you best.

To wish for things to go back.

Admitting they never will or have to be replaced.

And remembering one day, there will be a longer list of those you call friend.

So here’s to being known.

And making ourselves known, again. 🤍

Always,

Meghan

"How do we hold on to hope when we're so utterly disappointed?"

I stood in the back of the dark auditorium during worship. It was the last session of the annual summer conference we have for work, and I just wanted it to be over.

For two days I had managed to block out my emotions and show up with a smile. Inside, I felt physically exhausted and emotionally weary. With my arms crossed, I listened as the band sang “Goodness of God” by Bethel Music.

The lyrics felt anything but true to me in that moment. In fact, they almost seemed unfair.

I looked around at the room full of women, singing with their hands raised—but I couldn’t see the goodness of God. His goodness did not seem to be “running after me.” And he certainly didn’t feel faithful to me.

The day before the conference started, the guy I was dating had ended things very abruptly. He didn’t give me an explanation, and I was driving myself crazy trying to figure out what went wrong. The breakup left me with many questions and little closure…

Earlier in the year, almost the same thing had happened: a seemingly great guy I went on a few dates with suddenly ended it and didn’t give me a reason why. That time, it didn’t take me long to find peace with it, but it still stung.

This time, I was truly disappointed. More than that, I was mad at God.

I know a breakup may seem like a dramatic reason to get mad at God, but I was so tired of the cycle of growing hopeful only to be let down. Mostly because I didn’t feel like I was seeking it out. As I stood in the back of the auditorium, I told God I didn’t want to keep doing this.

I didn’t want to keep getting my hopes up only to get disappointed.

We don’t often talk about the grief that comes with disappointment.

Grief does not just accompany a physical death; it also accompanies the death of a relationship or a dream. Grief signals that something has not turned out the way we want.

Often we are expected to move on too quickly — but in our grief, we are actually more available to experience comfort and kindness. Even more, we are available to experience God’s presence.

Quick time-out here: As I stood in the back of that auditorium, and even as I went on a walk with my friend, the previous two sentences would not have made me feel any better. In fact, I might have resented them. Knowing God could comfort me in my pain was not the problem; the problem was I knew he could change my situation, yet he’d chosen not to. This knowledge only increased my frustration and made me question if he was really the loving God I thought he was.

But God can handle our honesty.

Have you read any of David’s psalms? Just look at today’s key verse: “My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak” (Psalm 31:10).

David often started his prayers with honest emotion, then eventually turned his thoughts back to what is true about God. When he was experiencing heartbreak or drowning in fear, he wrote about those experiences — then reminded himself of God’s comfort and kindness. He recalled what God had already done in his life and clung to hope that God would rescue him again.

We see this in Psalm 31 if we skip down a few verses: “How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for those who fear you, that you bestow in the sight of all, on those who take refuge in you” (Psalm 31:19, NIV).

We can be honest about the pain of disappointment and hopeful that God can change it.

But we struggle to hold this tension. Hoping seems scary when we've felt constantly disappointed. When we’ve experienced repeated losses and letdowns, believing there is good ahead seems impossible. We forget God moves outside our framework of understanding.

Friend, my invitation to you is to take a few minutes to be honest with God. Pull out a journal or open a note on your phone and just let the words out. Don’t try to filter or polish them. Let it all out. Don’t put pressure on yourself to fix what you feel; just take a step toward the healing your heart needs.

You might always grieve what did (or did not) happen in your life.

We can remain hopeful—not because we will get everything we want but because the pain we experience in the meantime will not last forever. Grief’s end is coming.

Writing a book is a funny experience. Because on one side it really feels like my journal is available for the public to read (and how terrifying!) But on the other side, like a journal, it is something I can refer back to when I need it most. This post is an excerpt from a chapter in my book, You Are Not Behind: Building a Life You Love Without Having Everything You Want and I’ve been referring back to it often these days. If you are wrestling with the pain of disappointment and struggling to get your hopes up, I think Chapter 5 would be really helpful to you.

Get it here

Always,

Meghan

With Lucas hooked up to an IV drip we interceded with what little words we could both find. I thought about those people we love sitting in similar rooms to us but with even scarier days ahead. It all felt like entirely too much.

It still does.

I don’t know about you, but 2025 has already given my faith a run for its money. I don’t like admitting that we are taking a lot of hits and can’t seem to find relief. While our marriage feels stronger than ever, our minds, hearts and bodies are really weary.

My faith has felt weak. My hope has been shaken.

When I’ve talked with friends about this season of life, I keep repeating this refrain: I have become far too aware that God’s protection does not make me immune to the world’s suffering. While I’m no stranger to bad things happening to good people, I’ve never been this close to it.

It’s so easy to assume that it’ll never happen to you.

That’s what I thought, before I got a call early in the morning on November 1 and heard words no 32 year old should hear: “It’s cancer.” Before I found myself meeting with surgeons and oncologists as we tried to make a plan to move forward. Before we even celebrated our first wedding anniversary we found ourselves sitting on the side of our bathtub each night as Lucas tended to the large hole in my leg that had to be removed.

How do you move forward in faith and hope that God is still good? How do you not live in fear?

Exactly a week before we waited in that pre-operating room, we were in another doctor’s office down the road. This one at least had a window. I focused on deep breaths and tried to convince myself I didn’t need to be afraid.

It’s just a routine wound check. You’ll be fine. They said they got all the cancer. They are just going to make sure it’s healing.

Two more spots needed to get removed. They didn’t want to take any chances.

I put on a brave face and tried to power through the disappointment. I had been through the procedure before and worse. It was going to be more weeks of waiting to see if we were out of the woods.

Can we just get some relief?

Lucas and I are experiencing the weight of the unknown individually and together and with people we love really dearly. Not all those details are mine to share, but it’s been heartbreaking and horrible. It’s all so unbelievably unfair.

And I’m mad about it. Righteous anger is real, but where does my anger need to go?

My first reaction always puts my anger on God. I cry, and doubt (and sometimes, I even cuss a little) and demand he tell me why all this is happening.

And while God is no stranger to my emotions and not afraid of my honesty, I’ve realized I’m putting my anger at the wrong target.

God is not my enemy. The enemy is my enemy.

And the enemy would love nothing more than for my doubts and disappointments to turn into a distrust of God. For me to resign to defeat. But I’m determined to not give in that easily…

“I want to be someone marked by hope, who has faith in God before things work out. And even when they don’t turn out the way I want them to, I still want to trust God.” -from You Are Not Behind

It’s so hard to pray when it feels like God is not answering. And often it can even feel pointless. But what are my options?

Yes, I could pray and nothing could change.

Or I could not pray, and again, nothing could change.

But on the flip, I could pray, and it could change. And wouldn’t I want to be on that side of things?

Where is the hope?

I can’t tie a bow on all these thoughts and feelings yet. I so badly want to. But here is what I know is true:

Jesus is well acquainted with this suffering. (Matthew 27:46)

We don’t have to suffer without hope. (1 Thessalonians 4:13)

This is going to end. (Revelation 21:1)

It’s all going to be made new. (Revelation 21:9)

Pain tonight. Joy in the morning. (Psalm 30:5)

One day. Soon.

I can have hope because I know relief is on the way.

__________________

As we pulled out of the hospital, a 615 area code popped on my screen. Lucas was still pretty groggy from surgery and I assumed it was someone from the surgery center calling to say we forgot something. No. It was my dermatologist. The results came back early.

I held my breath, not sure I could take more bad news in a day.

“You results came back clear. No cancer. We’ll see you at your next check up in a few months.”

Relief. It came. And while I don’t know for how long or if it will come for our people and in other areas, it gave me a taste of the relief that is to come.

I realized this post was a heavy one. So I want to share some specific resources and things that have really helped me through this season…

If you have a friend walking through a tough time, this podcast episode and this prayer have helped me navigate what it looks like to be the friend they need.

Links here

Always,

Meghan

Hey friend, it’s Meghan!

I’ve relaunched and rebranded many iterations of a blog/newsletter over the years. Which is classic of me as an oldest child perfectionist. Nothing has really fit right. But if you didn’t know, I started a little blog back in college called, Always, Meghan and after years of trying to evolve into something (or someone) else, I’ve finally decided, I’m going to keep the name. So I never forget the stubbornly on fire 21-year old version of me who was willing to lay it all on the line. She had the zest and energy for life my 32-year old self is channeling.

Starting a Substack has intimidated me, and after months of putting off starting one, we’re finally here! While I’m still figuring out the kinks and how it works, I feel like God has gently invited me to be brave and figure it out as I go instead of having all the answers. Which isn’t that true for all of life? (But please send me any tips if you’ve done this before!)

Last year I launched my first book into the world. You Are Not Behind: Building a Life You Love Without Having Everything You Want. And weirdly by the time I launched it into the world, I was struggling to do what the book actually said…

Chalk it up to burn out or the fact that literally everything in my life changed that year (marriage + new city + new job) and then right after that I got a cancer diagnosis that really kicked me while I was down. Life has just been hard. And rebuilding a life I love has not been as easy as I want it to be.

But I do believe God offers abundance for the life right in front of us. And so, I want to fall in love with my life again.

So this space is where I’m going to take my own advice and document what’s helping me love it here. Whether it’s something God is teaching me in His word, books or podcasts that are challenging me, workouts I’m loving or other seemingly small things and moments, this is my fight to love the life I have, even when it doesn’t look like I thought it would. Tune in to see what’s helping me experience abundance right now, and my hope is that it will help you do the same.

Hope you’ll come along!

Always,

Meghan

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