It’s the Voice that tells you to take a left instead of a right today; and you find out later that this small Voice, that you barely heard, protected you from an hour-long detour.

People speak of this Voice as something that somehow guides them when they don’t know what to do in life. I know I’ve certainly heard this Voice much more often than I’d like to admit - because for years, I wasn’t listening.

In January of 2023, I officially asked this Voice for help. I asked like I’d never asked before. Sure, I’ve prayed before.. I remember the long nights praying on my knees with tears in my eyes, hoping for Jesus to appear in my bathroom right there in front of me. Or for an angel to suddenly bump into me on the street, look me in the eyes, and hand me a million dollars. I think many of us have had moments like that…

But what if I told you, that this voice might not be what you think it is?

One day, it began with a question, “God, is this you?”

You’d think God would want us to know it’s them (yes, them) - but for some reason, God doesn’t yell, “Yes, beloved, it is I,” from the ceiling of your bedroom.

Let me propose to you a scenario with a question:

Say you’ve just had a “bad day,” whatever that may mean to you. You go to your bedroom, feeling lonely, and as you look out your window at the trees blowing in the wind, a thought pops into your head: “God, where are you? I need you.”

It’s still daylight outside. This “bad day” has unfortunately halted you right in the middle of your day. That’s the worst, innit?

As you gently contemplate on how you can improve your mood, the thought edges forward again, “God, I need you, please let me hear your voice.”

…

You hear nothing.

Time passes, and you’ve still not heard God’s voice the way you thought you could. Your eyesight gets blurry. And before you know it, a tear rushes down the side of your cheekbone. You feel alone, again. This is not what you expected, and it’s certainly not what you wanted.

Normally, this is the moment we give up. Sometimes that looks like grabbing a substance; wine, cannabis, a drug of choice to ease your mind. Sometimes you call up a friend, or a close family-member. Sometimes you take out your phone to begin your purposeless browse on social media. And sometimes, you act like this never happened.. while deep down, you’re full of disappointment.

This is the moment that matters. This is our opportunity to change how we show up for ourselves, by reaching inward so we can hear The Voice.

How do we begin hearing The Voice more clearly?

Chasing a goal is often a prime reason you aren’t enjoying your life.

The Curious Fox

There was a curious fox that lived in the forest of foxes. In this forest, everyone’s dream life was to hunt juicy insects and fruits for the village, settle down with a partner, start a family of their own, and occasionally play chase with all the other foxes of the village.

The curious fox asked his friend, the funny fox, what his dream life was. The funny fox answered, “I wanna hunt the biggest insect, and win over the prettiest fox, and have little me’s chasing me around the village!” Curious to understand his friend’s answer, the curious fox asked, “What will you do when you are not hunting the biggest insect or being chased by your young?” The funny fox said, “Hmm, I guess I never thought of that.” The curious fox nodded his head and laughed.

Then, the curious fox asked his neighbor, the great old fox, what his dream life was. The great old fox answered, “To finally enjoy what I’ve spent my entire life trying to build.” Curious to understand his neighbor’s answer, the curious fox then asked, “Why didn’t you have time to enjoy while you built it?” The great old fox tilted his head, and said, “Hmm, I guess I never thought of that.” The curious fox nodded his head and laughed.

The curious fox continued wandering around the village, asking his fellow foxes what their dream life was. Many of the foxes answered with a goal, two goals, or many goals. The fox always asked them what they’d do in between reaching their goals. Many said they hadn’t yet thought of that.

Interpretation

As with any good fable, there are many interpretations one can take into their personal lives. So here’s one of my interpretations around its central theme.

In this story, the curious fox represents our ability to question ourselves. Many times in life, we are so focused on some external goal, or two, or many — that we forget there are many things we can also do in the meantime.

When you’re not actively chasing a goal, what are you doing? We often don’t take the time to ask ourselves that simple question. If we did, we’d notice that we probably don’t know the answer to it. It’s okay to act toward goals, it’s one of the most exciting parts of our life’s journey. But when you’ve not yet reached the achievement of the goal, are you also remembering to live?

Don’t let the chase of a goal strip you of your ability to live life. And don’t let the feeling of achievement strip you of all the other gifts of life. Be curious with yourself. Question yourself.

What goal are you chasing right now, and what could you be enjoying more while you’re chasing it?

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The Lesson I Learned

Growing up a very curious child, I often wondered why people that were what society calls “successful” were still unhappy or dissatisfied with their lives. I’d always been into psychology and the brain itself since I was young. I grew up asking everyone I could a question… or two, or many. Questions they often didn’t know answers to, because they simply hadn’t thought of the question themselves, or didn’t feel like challenging themselves to answer.

From their lack of curiosity, I was frequently told to stop asking so many questions. Don’t worry though, I wasn’t sad about it (or maybe I was a little, but I suppressed it and had to heal this wound later in life). If anything, it made me question more — just not out loud to them, but to myself.

But the problem I’d observed from many adults of various ages was this: They work so hard to achieve goals, and they don’t seem to know what they’re doing in between the achievements. They show up to family events, they go out on romantic dinners, they hang out with friends and talk on the phone, but are they actually happy? Are they actually enjoying themselves? When they don’t have substances to enhance the experience; cannabis to actually notice the beautiful nature in their backyard, alcohol to try a new flip under the refreshing water of their swimming pool, or Ambien to have deeper conversations with their kids — they’re not really enjoying the gifts of life. They’re just going through the motions.

(Don’t get me wrong, substances are understandable, but they shouldn’t be the ONLY way you know how to truly enjoy an experience).

Searching for understanding, I’d find myself asking questions like: If they’re chasing the goal they want to achieve, why aren’t they happy doing it? And when they’re not actively chasing that goal, why don’t they know how to enjoy the other aspects of their life?

Thankfully, I recognized this. So much to where I always wanted to make sure I kept something that sparked me in life. Something that always made life a little more interesting. Many times, it started with a question: Should I bring Samantha or Cassandra to the dinner table? Those were the names of two of my favorite Bratz dolls (ugh, I wish I had a photo).

I tried to always bring one Bratz doll with me, wherever I went, so I could ask whatever questions I wanted to them. For me, curiosity has always been and is currently still my way of having fun in life. And what that did was get me out of head, and into the life happening around me. By taking this simple approach, I actually was able to enjoy life in the present moment a little more, rather than stressing about acing my future math quiz.

Life isn’t about the constant chase of what’s next. It’s about enjoying the life you’ve been gifted to live. Even your breath is a gift. The sky is a gift. The nature around you is a gift. There are plenty of gifts to enjoy, you just have to open your eyes sometimes. And sometimes, it just starts with one question.

Do I want to go through the motions of life, or do I want to enjoy life at least a little bit more?

From Childhood to Adulthood

Just because I noticed this contradiction as a child, doesn’t mean I didn’t run into the same issue myself as I got older. I finally had goals to chase — goals I created and set for myself — and so, eventually I got caught in the chase myself and stopped living for a little. This is the point of view I’ll use for another fable and its interpretation.

I find myself craving to touch the lives of many through all my creative pursuits, but expressing myself and trying to match the algorithms of each platform feels draining. Tailoring myself to the best marketing schemes drain the flow of my creativity. My passionate nature begins to feel… boxed in.

Posting at the “right” time, finding the “peak” hours of my audience, using $19.99 AI apps to make my videos “stand out” better or help my writing feel more “structured” — It all just feels… inauthentic to who I am. Inauthentic to my soul that simply craves rawness and the honest expression of our humanity.

I do want to serve humanity in the ways I know I am capable of, but if it comes with inauthenticity, then I actually don’t want it. And if that’s you too, if you resonate with that feeling, then you’ve landed at the right place at the right time, because I had an epiphany this morning that felt worth sharing.

As a mystic philosopher — which I now claim the identity of regardless of any college degrees I do or do not carry — I think a lot, and come to many powerful realizations that guide me in my life. Today, my realization caused me to pop out my phone and record this exact voice memo, that I then decided to transcribe and share, just for you. And yes, this is how I talk to myself aloud:

Anyone who’s ever wanted to make some grandiose impact in the world and affect at least thousands, maybe even millions of people — let me ask you a question:

Read it again, and please, if you will, really sit and think about your answer for a minute because I bet you’ll gain something you needed.

The Epiphany Speaks

When someone sparks change in your life, you never forget that moment. You will always carry it as a part of your story; that changed your life, that helped you in life, that inspired you and impacted you, that offered you a greater sense of purpose and sparked something true in you.

You attribute that one person to a life-changing moment that meant so much to you.

In a moment like that, it’s not about if that person who helped you or inspired you helped someone else too. Because the moment they helped you, you felt that, and you now carry that with you for the rest of your life.

Doesn’t that feel so meaningful? Don’t you feel so important as one individual?

So I say this for anyone that is putting something out there.

It could be anything; TikTok videos, Instagram videos, YouTube videos, Substack content, pieces of writing, poetry, art, music, podcasts, education — Anything.

All of you who are putting something out there into the world: It’s not about how many people you impact.

Because you can impact just one individual, and it can shape their entire reality.

And if you, as one individual, know what it feels like to be impacted so deeply that it brings you a greater sense of purpose — and you carry that with you for your whole life — then you should know how that feels for another ONE person as well.

We keep thinking that the more followers we have, the more subscribers we obtain, the more lives we impact, the more people we touch, the more wider audience we reach — we think that will deepen our fulfillment. That it will make us more purposeful.

But even people with a great amount of subscribers — maybe 30,000, or 100,000, or 4 million — we think those are the people who feel the most fulfilled because they’re touching many lives, but that isn’t all the way true.

Because even touching one life… can be so impactful.

And I’m honest with myself — I know I fall victim to that sometimes myself. I want more followers sometimes, more subscribers, more people to see what I’m putting out there and what I have to say — because I know how impactful my content is. Because when you realize your worth, and become confident in that, of course you want to touch as many people as possible. You know how much it can inspire change in someone’s life, so you want to make sure it reaches the audience of your entire niche some days.

But I’m not realizing that I already have changed people’s lives.

They’re just not telling me their whole life story about it. They’re just not reaching back out to me to tell me how much my motivation, or my video, or my response meant to them — or how my perspective opened up their worldview and changed everything for them.

Rather than telling me, they just live their life. They go on with that spark I re-ignited in them and they carry that, cherish that, and hold that in their heart with gratitude. And that should be enough. We don’t know the ins and outs of what everyone is carrying around us.

There is at least one stranger that you have shaped their life —somewhere out there — and you have no idea about it.

But they talk about you.

Maybe not to you — but about you. To the right people. And then those people talk about you too. They talk about the perspective that changed their friend’s life, or their son’s life, or their colleague’s life — the perspective that came from you.

So how about we stop looking at numbers? And we start acknowledging the impact that we cannot see.

Because for some reason, we know how much it means for one person to help inspire US and OUR life. But when we think about inspiring another life — just one person — it doesn’t feel like enough.

But aren’t you enough when someone touches you with whatever they said or did?

Don’t you feel so impacted, and carry that impact, and shape your life because of that one moment — one person’s influence on you?

The Challenge I Pass To You

So I challenge you with what I’m now challenging myself with:

Get out of your own perspective and put yourself in another person’s shoes. Just one individual will remember something you said forever. And someone out there, already has. And it will help them in life… forever.

Is that enough? Because if you are enough, then one other person is enough too.

If you’re still not feeling fulfilled, let me say it another way, but this time clear-cut:

You’ve changed someone’s life, out there in the world. Someone is free because of you, someone is happy again, because of you. Someone doesn’t feel alone anymore, because of you. Someone is ready to grow, because of you.

And most importantly, you’re motivating someone to believe in themselves again and not give up on their own life anymore.

Now, how does that feel?

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This morning I stepped outside and felt something ancient move through me.. it was a knowing without argument.

The sun, radiating its warmth onto my morning face, giggled from behind the clouds. It challenged me with this:
What if God the Father is breath itself?
Not a figure, nor a throne in a high place, but life… moving?
Vitality.
The unseen current that animates everything.

And what if God the Mother is being itself; creation, form, presence — the womb of manifestation, the capacity to exist at all?

COLLISON or CONVERGENCE?
Breath and Being.
Father and Mother.
Movement and Form.
Vitality and Creation.

Not separate.
Never separate.
But distinguishable,
like rhythm and melody within the same song.

When breath and being collide, you get life on Earth.

But is it even a collision?
Or is it a convergence,
a holy interweaving
where motion finds somewhere to land?

Every being is breath in some way.

And I don’t mean oxygen.
I don’t mean lungs inhaling and exhaling.

Breath is not merely the exchange of air,
Breath is our participation in life…

In beingness itself.

There are creatures without lungs who are still breathing,
because they are alive,
because LIFE is MOVING through them.

Breath is the force of life moving through creation itself.
Being is creation allowing that life force to move through itself.

We are not separate entities, borrowing breath from nowhere.
We are breath
and we are being
at the same time.

And what if that is the beauty?

What if breathing is not something we do
but something we are actively participating in?

Everything is experiencing something.
And that is only possible because breath and being are intertwined.

There is no singular “normal” experience.
It’s not about what kind of experience you’re having.
It’s about the miracle
that you are experiencing at all.

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DEATH
And what is death, then?

Is it breath no longer being—
beingness fading from form?
And if breath and being cease
in this physical configuration,
does something else emerge?

Light, perhaps.

The English language borrowed the Greek word “soul.”
But that word feels small sometimes.
As if it is reaching toward something
larger than human language can carry.

What if soul is simply
breath and being unbound from density?

What if human embodiment filters our infinite nature?
So it can be tasted slowly.
And death removes the filter?

And even there,
might we still feel things?
Unforgiveness. Trauma. Longing.
If so, would there not also be help… assistance?
Would life not continue
in the way of the greatest Love we’ve yet to experience?

What if Earth is not a punishment
or a waiting room...
but a stage?

Not for entertainment, but for participation.

What if we are creating something
that extends beyond this planet,
beyond this lifetime,
beyond our human comprehension?

I believe all beings contribute to something greater
and that all forms matter.

LOVE
And love.

There is instinctual love.
The fierce love of a mother who protects her own.
The love that chooses survival, closeness, and blood before anything outside.
Like a momma bear protects her cubs.

That is real.

But there is also choice.

Love can be deliberate.
Prepared for.
Walked into with awareness.

We do not have to engage in it.
We do not just fall into it either.

We ready ourselves for it.
We refine ourselves for it.

What if love
is breath moving toward another being
and choosing to remain?

Breath and Being.
Once again… no—
always again.

There is no breath without being,
and no being without breath.

Not Father without Mother.
Not movement without form.

One indivisible source
experienced in polarity
so that life can unfold.

And here I am,
not claiming certainty,
only describing what I felt on a quiet morning
when the air seemed to whisper that existence itself is holy.

What if questions
are also a form of breathing?

What if wondering
is participation in being?

And what if life
is simply
Breath
and Being
loving each other
into form?

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Just like you,

I often get no recognition for all the things I do.

Although I bring clarity,

some still stay ignorant and choose to confuse

how it is that I bring light to you.

But it’s alright, because I’ve witnessed it for eons, and it’s just what humans do.

I don’t just bring sunlight.

I don’t just help plants grow.

I don’t just light up the Earth.

I send cities to assist the flow.

It stays unseen by the human eye,

for I am too bright; a human would die.

If you could see the city I hold,

I’d receive more glory than I deserve.

Yes, there is a city within the Sun.

‘Tis a luminous city of all your loved ones.

Their human bodies may decompose there on Earth,

but their souls rise to be brought back to what we call “Original Birth” —

the birth you had before you chose to try “the Human,”

the life you live when you are solely in your lumen.

Let me give you a hint: lumen in Latin means “light.”

And if you ask, I can give you what God calls sight.

God is not what some think It is.

Do not limit this Being that loves you all, as is.

You do not need to “become” someone to gain Its love.

It is unconditional, it is limitless what comes from above.

I may have been created to be the Sun of constant patrol,

but it is not just those duties that I’ve been assigned to uphold.

I was made to assist you in your memory of life beyond humanity,

for the life you build on Earth is not merely vanity.

You are glorious in your human suit — oh, if only you knew

the truth we see from the lens of the One You.

It is energy that you return to me

when you come again to Original Birth as lumen, freed of humanity.

So do not forget the loving quality of your essence —

for soon you will return to the City of the One Benevolence.

I Am the Sun.

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Most people think I’m pointless, but I know that’s just a human thing.

People walk right over me, like I’m just a lifeless being…

And sure, I may not be the spotlight of attention,

but I certainly have one thing mastered that many fail to mention:

The Art of Stillness.

Humans trip over me as I lay pressed against my Mother’s skin,

While insects do the opposite: they feel my safety for their next of kin.

Grass, flowers, trees, and stones —

I make whoever is near feel right at home.

To rushing rivers, I serve as a friend,

slowing down the pace of their waters, which I strongly recommend.

To rush is to forget the beauty of living,

and that is not something to take for granted, as it cannot be forgiven.

I have consciousness too — and trust me, your human soul withers

when you move too fast through life, without taking a moment to remember

what a gift it is to live in that human body — and yes — even with human illness.

I feel humans could learn a thing or two from my

Mastery of Stillness.

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This is the actual Rock that sent me its much-appreciated wisdom today.

i don’t typically write poetry, but today i wrote this on behalf of a wise rock that decided to pour its wisdom into my chest. literally. i felt these words as if i myself was the rock.

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