But almost no one was using the data.

She raised it with her manager. The metric, she explained, measured what her team could achieve, not what the business actually needed. The work that would have made a difference required alignment across teams, decisions above her authority, and expertise her team didn’t have. Her manager heard her. Nothing changed. The organization had other priorities.

So the team kept delivering. Good work. A lot of it, but it was disconnected from what actually mattered.

She was leading her team and raising issues. That’s what stuck with me. She was doing everything right inside her team’s boundaries. The problem was the boundaries were wrong, and no one was willing to redraw them.

I’ve been interviewing engineering and product leaders from startups to large organizations for a book about what unlocks teams. Different scale, different companies, but the same patterns.

Here is what I’m hearing. The hard problems never sit neatly inside one team. They cross boundaries, functions, sometimes entire organizations. But most teams stay focused on the slice in front of them. They solve their part well, but they don’t always connect.

One leader described a team where everyone had their own lane. Ten people. Twelve workstreams. Nobody was working together. When something changed, they couldn’t adapt. No one had enough context to see what was coming or where the opportunity was.

Another leader told me some of the happiest, best-functioning teams they’d seen weren’t actually doing anything useful. People liked each other. Work shipped steadily. Nothing looked broken, so no one stepped in. That’s not a team problem. It’s a leadership problem. And it can go on for a long time.

And now there's a new pressure making it harder to ignore. Every engineering leader I talk to is getting some version of the same question: how is your team using AI to ship faster? It’s a fair question. Over ninety percent of developers now use AI coding tools at least monthly. At some companies, more than a quarter of production code is AI-generated. Code speed was a bottleneck, and that bottleneck is dissolving.

The average developer spends less than 20% of their time writing code. AI is helping there. The rest of the work: deciding what to build, getting the right people on it, making sure it all connects, hasn’t improved in the same way. Producing more code faster may actually be making this worse.

That tech lead already knew what mattered. She told her manager exactly what the real problem was. It didn’t move anything, because the team wasn’t shaped to solve it.

But some of the leaders I talked to are doing something different.

Form a temporary team around the problem itself. Instead of pushing work into the org structure, assemble a small group with one job. Own the problem, solve it, move on.

Before that can work, someone has to make the problem visible across the teams that each hold a piece of it. Talk to the teams. Learn their vocabulary. Write it down in plain language and ask: did I get this right? Once everyone agrees on what they’re actually solving, a team can form around something real.

Harvard researcher Richard Hackman studied what determines whether teams succeed or fail. Team design turned out to be almost forty times more powerful than coaching. A leader’s most important decisions happen before the team starts working, defining the right task, assembling the right people, setting up the structure.

Make the stakes clear. Not the company mission. What happens if this team fails? What’s at risk, right now, for real customers or users?

When stakes are abstract, every direction sounds reasonable and nobody asks what to stop doing. When stakes are concrete, the team feels pulled toward the work rather than pushed.

One leader turned an abstract company mission into a concrete challenge their team could feel. Another set a technical target so ambitious it forced the team to completely rethink their approach. They achieved a 100x improvement on a metric most people thought couldn’t move 2x. In both cases, the mission didn’t change. The stakes got real. And a team that had been going through the motions started running.

But the leaders I interviewed didn’t treat this as a one-time exercise. Problems shift. The team that was right six months ago may not be right now. The leaders who kept teams moving kept reshaping: narrowing the problem, pulling in the right people, reforming around what mattered next.

This is what makes AI actually useful.

AI doesn’t fix scattered ownership and it doesn’t resolve misalignment across teams. What it does is accelerate iteration once a team is clear on what it owns and what success looks like.

A small, focused team can use AI to move faster because the feedback loop is tight. They know what good looks like. They can iterate quickly and see if it worked.

AI is solving the code bottleneck, and it’s surfacing the one that was always underneath. What AI can’t do is look at a problem that crosses three organizations, figure out that nobody owns it, and reshape a team to solve it. That’s the work outside the code. It’s always been leadership work. And it’s about to matter a lot more.

What’s the biggest mismatch you’re seeing right now between your team’s shape and the problem they need to solve?

I write a weekly newsletter on what actually makes engineering and product teams move: http://melodyolson.com/newsletter.

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Here’s something I don’t talk about much.

I once spent almost a year building something nobody needed.

Not because my team wasn’t talented or didn’t have enough resources. We had both. We failed because we were solving the wrong problem with the wrong approach. And we didn’t see it until it was too late.

I had to cancel my own project. Move my team to something new. Look people in the eye who had put so much work in and tell them we were walking away from it.

That moment changed how I lead. And I’ve thought a lot about what it taught me since then.

I put together a 5-question diagnostic version of this framework.

→ Get it here when you join Leadership Compass, it’s the first thing you’ll receive, along with weekly tools like this.

Here’s what I got wrong.

There was a real opportunity and a problem to solve. We planned. We designed. We architected a system that would scale beautifully.

We were so focused on building it right that we didn’t pause to really understand if we were building the right thing.

The market shifted while we were heads-down. The need we’d designed for had changed by the time we launched.

It is hard when you finally launch something, and it hits with a thud. We’d built a great system for a problem that didn’t match the market.

Here’s the thing about failure like this: it doesn’t just cost time and resources. It costs something deeper. I questioned my judgment. I wondered if I’d let my team down by being certain about the wrong thing.

The lesson was obvious, once I finally saw it. It just took me too long to get there.

There are two types of uncertainty. And they require opposite responses.

This is the lesson that changed how I lead.

The first type is execution uncertainty. You know where you’re going. The destination is clear. The uncertainty is in the path to get there—the obstacles, the dependencies, the risks along the way.

When you face execution uncertainty, the right move is to plan. Break it down. Sequence the work. Remove blockers. Coordinate across teams. Drive.

The second type is transformation uncertainty. You don’t actually know where you’re going. The destination itself is unclear. You’re not sure what customers need, what the market wants, or whether your solution will matter at all.

When you face transformation uncertainty, extensive planning is the wrong move. The right move is to experiment. Small bets. Tight loops. Learn before you build.

Here’s what I’ve come to believe: most leaders default to planning — even when they’re facing transformation uncertainty.

Why? Because planning feels like leadership. It feels decisive. You’re allocating resources, setting timelines, making things happen. There’s visible progress.

But when you plan your way through transformation uncertainty, you end up where I ended up: executing brilliantly toward a destination nobody needs you to reach.

Why this is so hard to see from the inside.

I want to be honest about something. Even now, knowing what I know, this is hard for me.

I like clarity. I like having a vision and driving toward it. Experimentation feels slower. It feels less certain. And if I’m being really honest? It’s never what I want in the moment. I want to think and go big!

But experimentation doesn’t mean thinking small. You still need shared meaning, a clear ‘why’ that keeps the team oriented. The difference is you’re testing your way toward the ‘what’ instead of assuming you already know it.

There’s something that feels good about saying “here’s the plan, let’s go.” There’s something scary about saying “we don’t know yet — let’s find out.”

But false clarity is more dangerous than honest uncertainty. Confidence in the wrong direction isn’t leadership. It’s expensive avoidance.

The best leaders I’ve worked with have learned to sit in the discomfort of not knowing. They’ve learned that “I’m not sure — let’s test it” is sometimes the most powerful thing a leader can say.

A simple question that would have saved me.

Looking back, there’s one question I wish I’d asked earlier:

“What would have to be true for this to matter?”

Not “how do we build this well?” — that’s an execution question.

But “what are we assuming about the market, the customer, the need? And how fast can we test those assumptions before we go all-in?”

If I’d asked that question six months earlier, we might have run small experiments instead of a major rewrite. We might have learned the ground was shifting before we’d built a whole system on top of it.

The project still would have been hard. But the failure wouldn’t have been so costly. And people wouldn’t have spent a year building something we had to walk away from.

Here’s what I know.

Before you plan, ask: Do we actually know where we’re going?

If the answer is yes—if you can describe success clearly and the main question is how to get there—plan well and execute fast.

If the answer is fuzzy—if you’re not sure what winning looks like, or whether this solution will matter, resist the urge to plan. Experiment. Learn. Stay close to the real signal.

The cost of getting this wrong is months or years pointed in the wrong direction.

The cost of getting it right is a team that builds what actually matters—and a leader who’s honest enough to admit when they don’t have all the answers yet.

I’m still learning this. I probably always will be.

But I’d rather lead with honest uncertainty than confident misdirection. And I’d rather learn it the hard way once than keep making the same mistake.

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I’d love to hear: when have you applied the wrong approach to uncertainty? What did it cost you, and what did it teach you?

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The biggest threat to innovation isn’t bad decisions.

It’s no decision at all.

Most teams are swimming in a sea of data about users, products and teams. Teams get swamped, and they go in analysis paralysis.

As leaders, we often see the signals, but don’t figure out quickly enough how to translate them into impact for our team.

I’ve watched this play out in small teams and large organizations.

There’s a widening gap between seeing signals and taking action. Why?

Have you heard of the paradox of Buridan’s Donkey? Buridan’s Donkey is caught between two equally appealing bales of hay, unable to choose which to eat first. Paralyzed by indecision, it eventually starves.

The donkey didn’t need more information. It needed to choose.

Product teams can find themselves metaphorically starving amidst a wealth of data and priorities. With signals streaming in from all sides, it’s easy to get caught in a cycle of analysis, debating the merits of each direction without making the choice.. Does this sound familiar?

I have definitely been there and seen many teams fall into this trap too.

Just as the donkey needed to choose a bale, teams must move from information to action. While some analysis is necessary, there comes a point where the most critical thing is to make a decision, commit, and move forward.

Why do we freeze, and how do we help our teams?

More data, more analysis feels safe. Like a warm blanket!

But in a fast moving world, we rarely get perfect clarity from more analysis. Often the way to get the data you need is to make a decision and take action.

Teams do this all the time.

Two promising ideas.

Two reasonable data sets.

Two good paths forward.

Strong opinions on either side.

So they wait. For a decision. For more analysis hoping the choice gets more clear.

But in environments like we are in today where everything is moving, waiting is also a choice. And often the most expensive one.

The donkey doesn’t starve because it lacked information.

| The next step is not another meeting. It’s action.

Take the smallest step to move forward.

Ultimately, we also need to understand that perfect information will never be there. There will always be some degree of uncertainty and risk. High-performing teams optimize for speed over certainty. They’d rather thoughtfully choose a direction and iterate than starve.

The perfect signal arrives after the initial action, not before.

But teams are conditioned to think the opposite:

• More data → more clarity

• More clarity → better decisions

• Better decisions → better outcomes

The real pattern is much closer to:

• Small action → new signal

• New signal → clarity

• Clarity → better decisions

Clarity isn’t the input.
It’s the output.

Waiting for more data is like the donkey not taking a bite until it knows exactly the amount of hay in each bale, and starving.

Luckily, Donkey Syndrome is a preventable condition!

No team needs to waste away while waiting for perfect certainty.

The cure is simple: choose something small, learn, adjust.

How do you personally decide when it’s time to stop analyzing and start acting? We all get better at decision-making when we learn how others avoid the stall.

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In a recent conversation, a mentee described being stuck in an endless planning cycle where little was getting done.

And we’ve all been there.

The situation where our teams are caring and well-intentioned, but things aren’t moving.

We circle the same topics, waiting for more data or perfect alignment that never comes.

Nothing blows up, but we’re not moving things forward either. This is a risky place to be. Especially in a time where pressure is high and cycles are shorter than ever.

This isn’t the kind of leader any of us wants to be.

The calendar fills with yet another weekly meeting to “gather more data,” “check progress” and for “alignment with stakeholders.”

Until, eventually, the deadline itself becomes the decision-maker.

But it doesn’t have to be this way!

When Alignment Turns Into Avoidance

Teams rarely get stuck because they don’t care. Our teams and leaders want everyone’s voice heard, every angle covered, every risk neutralized.

But in the process, action slows.
Leaders try to protect relationships by seeking consensus, and in doing so, they lose opportunities.

This feels safe, but can be the riskiest place to be.

Alignment isn’t the goal — progress is.

Moving forward often doesn’t mean agreement.

It happens with shared meaning and ownership — Clarity on what we’re doing, why it matters and who owns what.

If You’re a Leader

Ask yourself:

• Does everyone know who owns the final call?

• Are we optimizing for alignment or clarity?

• Do people have enough information to act without another meeting?

• Can we shrink the planning cycle?
  

Your job isn’t to get everyone to agree, it’s to create enough shared understanding that people can move with confidence and enough ownership that they can adapt.

Alignment should accelerate decisions, not stall them.

If You’re Inside the Machine

You may feel powerless, but although you may not control the system, you can still protect your teams and help the system get unstuck.

• Define your lane. Be clear about what you own and make quick calls within it.

• Share progress early. It builds confidence and shared understanding.

• Advocate for clarity. When ownership is fuzzy, name it. Ask, “Who decides this?” or “What’s blocking the next step?”. Respectfully, but directly.

• Focus on adaptability not certainty. “Here’s what we can learn and where can adjust if needed.”

You can’t fix every system failure, but you can model what clarity looks like, which builds a culture where others do the same.

Momentum doesn’t require certainty; it requires clarity, courage, and a bias for doing.

Final Thought

The goal isn’t perfect agreement — it’s enough shared meaning and ownership for everyone to be able to act boldly and adapt.

Here is why this is critical: People want to feel part of something that’s moving.
Every delay, every “let’s revisit next week,” chips away at that sense of progress and purpose.

It’s not that people stop caring, it’s that they stop believing their effort makes a difference.
That’s a huge cost to both what you can do as a team and the morale of your team members.

I’ve learned that one of the hardest part of leadership isn’t getting alignment — it’s knowing when to stop seeking it.

💬 Have a topic you’d like me to cover?

I’d love to hear what leadership or growth challenges you’re facing — reply in the comments or email melody@leadonward.co.

Work with Me

💡 I’m opening a few limited coaching and advising spots for tech leaders navigating growth and change. If you or someone you know is leading through uncertainty, wants to move faster with clarity and impact, reach out to discuss: melody@leadonward.co— I’d love to connect.

It’s been less than 2 months since leaving Google, but what I miss most about my time there isn’t specific projects or even the scale of was built, it’s what we built together.

There is something about the feeling of shared creation, when a team’s ideas start to merge into something bigger than any one person. Working with a group of smart, passionate people, to see ideas clicking, plans taking shape, and energy building around a vision that didn’t exist without everyone contributing.

That moment feels effortless.
But it’s built on intention.

Shared creation happens when a team feels bound by something bigger than their individual efforts, when they believe in a common “why” and feel ownership over how to bring it to life.

As leaders, we get to help shape this, not by dictating the purpose, but by co-creating it.

And the best leaders I’ve worked with, and I’ve tried to become one too, don’t mistake control for creation. They know their role isn’t to have all the answers, but to make space for the best ideas to surface and connect.

Shared creation doesn’t happen by chance.

It takes intentional leadership — the kind that turns shared direction into shared ownership. Creating this kind of environment is one of a leader’s greatest responsibilities and privileges, especially when building products.

So how do you turn shared purpose into shared creation, where people aren’t just executing, but building meaning together?

From Shared Purpose to Shared Creation

Simon Sinek reminded us to Start with Why. But in practice, starting is only half the work.

I’ve seen leaders who stop at the “why” — they articulate it beautifully, but the team never owns it. And I’ve seen others who invite people into the process of shaping it, and you can see the difference. Energy rises. Conversations shift from “what do we have to do?” to “what could we build?”

A leader’s job isn’t to hand down meaning, but to build the bridge between clarity and ownership where people not only understand why the work matters, but feel part of bringing it to life.

Here’s how leaders create that environment.

1. Invite meaning early

Start with questions, not statements.
Ask: What problem are we here to solve? Why does it matter to the users we serve?

When people help define the purpose, they see themselves in it. Ownership begins long before execution.

Back in the 1950s, Betty Crocker learned this the hard way. Their instant cake mixes made baking too easy, “just add water”. Sales lagged until they changed one thing: they asked customers to add an egg. That small act of participation transformed the experience. People took pride because they saw themselves creating it.

It sounds silly, but it is the same in teams. When people contribute to shaping the purpose, they care more deeply about the outcome. They’re no longer just following a plan, they are helping shaping something they believe in.

2. Connect personal purpose to team purpose

Every person on a team has a different “why.”
Some are driven by impact, some by curiosity, others by skills or problem-solving.
The best leaders take time to understand what drives each person and connect those motivations to the team’s mission.

When this happens, it shifts. Purpose becomes deeply personal.

3. Keep the “why” visible in decisions

Purpose fades if it is only in your all team meeting or kickoff.
Keep it alive in the moments that matter: trade-offs, planning discussions, recognition.

The best leaders link choices back to purpose:
“This matters because it helps us serve users faster.”
“We are making this decision because.. ”

When people see that consistency, trust grows and further aligns the “why”.
People will start reinforcing it themselves.

4. Building trust allows for risks

Shared creation depends on trust, the kind that makes people willing to take smart risks and move fast together.

You earn that trust in the small moments: admitting when you’re unsure, sharing credit, keeping your word. Set this example for your team.

This helps keep your teams learning fast enough to lead.

5. Celebrate the how, not just completion

It’s easy to celebrate milestones and launches.
But the deeper wins come from how something was built: the collaboration, the debate, the insight that only emerged through the group.

When leaders highlight those moments, they reinforce that process matters — that contribution and connection are valuable. Failures are expected and shape the future.

Shared Creation Without the Title

You don’t need a formal title to shape shared creation.
In every team, there’s space to lead, to connect people around purpose, to ask better questions, and to make others feel their ideas matter.

If you’re not leading yet, start by modeling the behaviors that make shared creation possible:
• Invite others in. Ask for their perspective early, especially when ideas are still forming.
• Give credit freely. Call out what others add: momentum grows when contribution is visible.
• Keep the “why” visible. When conversations drift, remind people what problem you’re solving and who it’s for. It is often the people who can keep the big picture in mind that emerge into leadership.

And when people consistently act this way, the culture shifts long before formalizing a title.

Leading Where It Matters Most

Shared creation isn’t a leadership extra.
It’s the real work of leadership.

Because when people co-create purpose, they don’t wait for alignment — they become it.
They move faster, with more clarity, ownership, and heart.

And they create things none of us could have imagined alone.

Cheers,

Melody

P.S. If you want to go deeper on how to move from “my idea” to “our vision,” this quick guide can help:
👉 [Turning “I Think” to “We Believe” — Leadership Actions That Build Buy-In]

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I remember early in my career, I thought being a good leader meant being involved in all of the details. It took me years and a lot of missteps to realize that holding tighter didn’t prevent mistakes. It only slowed my team down. I slowly learned how to both let go and check in on the parts that mattered most while giving my team room to grow.

As I’ve mentored leaders over the years, this is one of the hardest things as people grow. Especially for technical and product leaders who thrive in the details.

Control feels safe. We convince ourselves that if we’re in every detail, nothing will slip through the cracks. But the problem is this: the tighter we hold on, the slower we move. And in today’s world of compressed cycles, AI disruption, and constant change, it is even harder.

Why Letting Go Feels Risky

The fear is universal:
If I’m not in the room, will the work suffer? If I don’t weigh in on each decision, will I be relevant? What if there are mistakes and they fall on me?

But here’s the counterintuitive truth: mistakes aren’t the biggest risk. Stagnation is.

Research shows empowered teams, those trusted with ownership and influence, are more engaged, proactive, and innovative. The opposite is also true: teams that aren’t empowered wait for direction, hesitate to act, and stall.

What Happens When You Empower

When leaders let go, two things happen:

1. Teams step up. Ownership is key. People who are trusted with decisions and outcomes solve problems faster, lean in deeper, and take initiative.

2. Leaders level up. Letting go doesn’t make you less relevant. It makes you more. It gives you the space to do what only leaders can: connect the team to purpose, align them around the “why,” and look ahead.

And here’s why it matters now: in environments where cycles are measured in weeks, not years, no single leader can keep pace alone.

How to Start Letting Go

Letting go doesn’t mean walking away. It means building systems for confidence.

Here’s the simplest place to begin: set guardrails and feedback loops.

When you delegate, don’t just say “I trust you.” Say:

• Here’s the outcome we need.

• Here’s what’s in and out of scope.

• Here’s how we’ll know it’s working.

With my own teams, I often used steering reviews that focused on risks and bigger milestones. The goal was to give the leads confidence that I trusted them, open up conversation on what they needed, and give me confidence that I understood where things stood without being in every detail.

There isn’t one way to do this. It could be as lightweight as a 15-minute weekly sync, or as structured as a milestone check-in. The point isn’t to hover. It’s to create visibility without stepping back into the weeds.

This is how you empower without losing grip: by replacing control with clarity.

The Benefit to You

This isn’t just about your team. It’s about your growth too.

A manager once told me: “Never be afraid of working yourself out of a job.” At first, it felt risky. But I found it to be true. Every time I focused on enabling others, my role grew, and so did theirs.

Here’s what surprised me: the more I empowered my team, the more visible I became and was given stretch opportunities.

Leaders notice when someone’s impact extends beyond their direct involvement. They see you as a multiplier, not just a high performer.

Empowering others also frees you to work on strategic initiatives and cross-functional challenges — the work that shapes direction.

And when your people grow and get promoted, that becomes your track record. Nothing builds your reputation faster than being known as someone who develops other leaders.

A Challenge for the Week Ahead

Look at your calendar.

What’s one decision, task, or project you’re holding onto that you could hand over? And how could you feel confident that it is getting done?

Because leadership isn’t about control. It’s about creating the conditions where others rise.

👉 What do you think holds leaders back the most from letting go, fear of mistakes, fear of irrelevance, or something else?

I’m glad you’re here,

Melody

P.S. If you’d like a practical tool to put this into action, here’s a GROW Framework cheat sheet. It’s a simple guide to help leaders shift from control to connection.

When I told people I was leaving Google after 17 years, the questions came quickly: Why? What’s next?

All good questions! I had just stepped into a senior individual contributor role, working on some exciting AI challenges. I loved the problem space and the teams.

But “Why?” is rarely just about the job.

For me, the answer came in layers.

Some recent events reminded me that life is short and pushed me to reflect on my priorities.

And my kids are now 12 and almost 15. I always thought I’d wait until they were out of the house to take a break. But as they’ve grown, I realized I would cherish more focused time with them now, while they’re still here at home, while the random days off school, the kitchen conversations, and the small in-between moments are still part of our everyday life.

And then, unexpectedly, Google offered a voluntary exit program. It prompted me to consider a sabbatical — to spend more time with family and to explore new ideas. It was not an easy decision.

I’ve spent the last month decompressing, letting the dust settle after nearly two decades at Google. It took a minute, and I’m still adjusting! I don’t have every answer about what comes next, but that’s part of the point.

With more time and space, I want to expand on the ideas I’ve been exploring. That’s why I’m restarting this newsletter — a place to go beyond my LinkedIn posts, share lessons I’ve learned, spark new ideas, and help others grow.

I’ve always been passionate about how leadership shapes innovation and how the way we lead directly impacts the products we build. So, while there will be a personal angle to what I share, much of the focus will be on leadership, innovation, and the challenges of building in fast-changing times.

Each week, I’ll share reflections, lessons I wish I’d had earlier in my career, ideas on leading and innovating, and experiments in how we navigate this moment, especially for technical leaders looking to grow in a world of rapid change.

I’m also working on a book project. It’s early, and I’m not quite ready to share details yet, but pieces of it will show up here as I write, test ideas, and learn in public.

And yes, I already miss building with people — and I miss the teams I worked with deeply. (If any of you are reading this, you are amazing, and I’m so lucky to have worked with you!)

But I know this time will give a chance to build and learn differently, especially by sharing along the way.

I don’t know exactly where this will lead, but I’m excited for what’s to come.

Thanks for being here.

— Melody

My answer?
We’re in a time of both exciting possibilities and real pressure. I haven’t seen this pace of change before, where we are challenged to transform the way we operate in every way.

Generative AI is accelerating how we build, communicate, and make decisions.
The pace of change also brings pressure on clarity, on trust, and on what good leadership looks like.
It’s easy to focus on tooling, data and productivity (all are important!). But what matters just as much now is how we guide teams through ambiguity, experimentation, and learning.

Many are feeling stretched thin just trying to keep up.

In the midst of all this, engineering and product leadership matter more than ever.
Not just in big, visible ways, but in the smaller moments:

• Bringing clarity when things feel chaotic
• Supporting others in doing the work that matters most
• Grounding your work in purpose

We need to consider both how to support strong teams and keep momentum, even when things around us is shifting very quickly.

Here’s how to move forward despite the chaos.

1. Anchor Teams in Impact
Your most important job is to make sure teams are working on the right things.

Help your team stay close to the why:

→ What’s the customer problem?
→ What are the tradeoffs?
→ How will success be measured?

Leaders translate product goals into engineering focus.

2. Be a Multiplier
Don’t try to be in every conversation, but work to scale your teams to do what needs to get done.

That means:
• Creating space for others to lead
• Elevating others
• Sharing knowledge generously

If everything runs through you, you’ve built a system that can’t grow.

3. Drive Execution Toward Big Goals

It’s not about working harder, it’s about working smarter and clearer.

Your role is to:
• Unblock, prioritize, and clarify
• Reinforce progress over perfection
• Celebrate momentum, not just milestones

4. Build a Culture of Collaboration, Not Isolation
The only way to scale is to build a strong team and build with others in your organization.

That means helping your team work through issues and having them grow and set goals together.

Encourage early reviews.
Model inclusive problem-solving.
Make “I don’t know” a safe answer.

5. Model Ownership at Every Level
Help others to:

• Share progress regularly
• Surface risks early
• Keep teams aligned, even under pressure

Leaders don’t just own outcomes. They help others step into ownership too.

6. Guard Focus
Protect your team’s attention and your own.

• Help people figure out how to find time for deep work
• Remove unnecessary meetings
• Say no on their behalf when needed

Make the time for deep work, it’s where innovation happens.

7. Normalize Feedback and Growth
Don’t wait.

• Give timely, specific feedback
• Ask your team members and collaborators for feedback
• Demonstrate to others that learning is part of the job

8. Communicate complex topics simply
You’re the bridge between technical and strategic.

Write to clarify.
Align complex goals to things that everyone can get behind.

When leaders are clear, teams move faster, with fewer surprises.

9. Invest in Learning at Scale
Your team’s future isn’t in their current skills, it’s in what they are learning.

Support:
• Time for exploration
• Mentorship systems
• Shadowing and cross-training

The best teams aren’t just productive, they’re adaptable. This is especially true today.

Here is something to consider: as a leader, you can’t sit on the sidelines of AI. Dive into the technology, learn and help guide your teams on how and where to build their skills. Make it easy for them to learn and see that they can build their skills while launching systems.

10. Teach, Don’t Just Tell
Your job isn’t to answer every question.
It’s to create the conditions for insight.

• Ask questions before giving answers
• Encourage shared learning
• Elevate team learning like demos and postmortems

Teaching scales better than telling.

Closing:
Great engineering leadership isn’t about being the one who solves all of the problems.
It’s about building an environment where more people feel smart, trusted, and empowered to lead.

The way we show up matters, especially now.

So if you're navigating change, growing people, or just trying to lead with clarity in uncertain times:
You're not alone. And you're doing work that matters.

A little time away is a great recharge, but I’m also always surprised in how much disconnecting allows for creativity to emerge.

I really find that in times like this my mind gets clearer.
Thinking gets sharper.
Ideas I hadn’t had space for suddenly started showing up.

Most Leaders Are Starved for Whitespace

We fill our days with meetings, chats, decisions, and problem-solving.

And then we wonder why we:
• Struggle to focus
• Default to what’s familiar
• React instead of responding with clarity
• Can’t access our most creative thinking

It’s not a discipline problem. It’s a space problem.

Your brain needs time to breathe.
To connect ideas.
To pause long enough to think beyond the next task.

That’s where creativity lives—in the whitespace between doing.

You Don’t Need a 3-Week Trip to Find It

Vacation is great. But so is one focused hour. Or small resets between meetings.

The leaders I admire most aren’t just productive. They protect time to think.
They don’t let urgency fill every minute.

Here’s what that looks like in practice:

1. Create small breaks during the day

• Block 30 minutes with no meetings.
• Take a walks.
• Pause between meetings to reset, not scroll.

2. Build deep work time into your week

• My personal favorite is 2-hour work blocks, but everyone is different.
• Take this time to move forward things that require your focus or learning.
• Demonstrate to your team that they don’t have to be available every moment of the day on chat.

3. Protect real time off

• Don’t just “take time”, find ways to disconnect.
• Set clear coverage plans so you can actually log off.
• If you have trouble stepping away, this is an area for you to build redundancy on your team and give opportunities to others.

Leadership isn’t about being always-on. It’s about being clear when you are on.

Whitespace Is a Leadership Strategy

You can’t be creative or innovate if you’re always reacting.
You can’t lead with vision if you never have time to think deeply..

As a leader, you don’t just owe it to yourself. You owe it to your team.

📝 What’s one way you’re creating whitespace this week?
Let me know—I’m collecting ideas.

That tension doesn’t go away as your team grows — it just shows up in new ways.
And learning how to navigate it has been one of the most important shifts in my leadership.

What I’ve learned: Great leadership isn’t about control or freedom. It’s about clarity.

Clarity about what matters.
Clarity about when to lean in.
Clarity about when to step back.

The goal isn’t control. And it isn’t chaos.

It’s clear purpose, thoughtful presence, and trust that activates your team’s best work.

When we try to control everything, we compress potential.
When we trust with clarity we unlock it.
Trust doesn’t mean stepping away. It means creating space for people to move with confidence while also being able to dive in with depth as needed.

🔄 It’s not “hands-off.” It’s hands on the right things.

Over time I’ve noticed four ideas that I return to time and time again.

1. Give the Why

Teams don’t thrive on task lists. They thrive on purpose.

When people understand the why behind the work, they don’t need constant direction. They make better decisions on their own. They solve problems faster. They care more.

• Share the mission, not just the assignment
• Connect day-to-day work to long-term goals
• Help people see how they’re making a difference

From “Do what I say” to “Here’s why it matters”

📘 In Drive, Daniel Pink emphasizes that purpose is a core driver of motivation. It’s what turns compliance into commitment.

📘 In The Lean Startup, Eric Ries reminds us that clarity of purpose is what allows teams to test, learn, and iterate without losing their way.

Give people the context, and they’ll show you creativity. Withhold it, and they’ll wait to be told what to do.

2. Remove Friction and Lean In Where It Matters

Leaders aren’t just obstacle removers. They’re strategic depth-finders.

Step back when you can. Dive in when it counts.

Clear the path where bureaucracy slows the team down

Show up when risk is high, stakes are unclear, or vision needs anchoring

Don’t solve every problem, but do model how to think through the hard ones

From “I’ll handle it” to “Let me help you unlock it”

3. Open Up Trust

When teams feel trusted, they take initiative. When they don’t, they wait for permission.

• Share information transparently
• Let go of micromanagement
• Create forums for people to get quick answers and to check in on what matters most. This gives you an opportunity to check in and unblock your teams.

📘 In Dare to Lead, Brené Brown shares that clarity and trust are deeply connected. When people understand expectations and feel trusted, they rise to meet the challenge.

4. Work Across

Innovation doesn’t happen in silos. Leaders must build bridges across functions, teams, and roles.

• Prioritize collaboration over hierarchy
• Build shared goals and decision forums
• Invest in cross-team relationships

From “Report up” to “Work across”

📘 Team of Teams talks about how decentralized collaboration brings adaptability. The more connected your teams are, the more resilient your organization becomes.

Leading When Things Get Complex

Control can feel comforting, but it’s often counterproductive in complex or fast-changing environments. The more you try to control, the more you become the bottleneck.

As a leader, your job isn’t to have all the answers. It’s to create the conditions for your team to grow, adapt, and lead.

A Final Thought

What I found was a pattern, a way to stay grounded in what matters, trust my team, and step in only when it really counts.

A reminder of how to lead with clarity, connection, and trust.

Because leadership isn’t about letting go of everything.

It’s about holding on to the right things and letting your team take the rest and run.

P.S. If you want a one-glance version of the ideas I shared above, here’s a visual I’ve been using.

It came from someone who grew up in Costa Rica. Her family didn’t have the resources to travel, but as a kid, she would explore the world through Street View, pinning places, zooming through 360 views, and imagining life elsewhere.

Now living in NYC, she still use Maps every week to discover something new.

“If I had to pick one app to keep on my phone,” they wrote, “it’d definitely be Google Maps.”

That message reminded me of something easy to forget: behind every system—even the most technical ones, there’s a human story.

Not every product has the emotional resonance of Street View. But every team can connect their work to a purpose. And when they do, it shifts for our teams:

• They move with more confidence.
• They make better decisions.
• They stay grounded when adversity hits.

Purpose is a multiplier.

And it’s not just about inspiring moments. I’ve led engineering and product teams through pivots, long roadmaps, and multi-year migrations, the kinds of efforts that rarely get the spotlight. In each of these, leaders have to build it in, find out what motivates their teams, reinforce it often, and make it visible in the work.

Purpose is a multiplier. But it doesn’t show up by accident.

The teams that move fastest and stay most resilient are the ones who understand the why behind the work.

Here are five ways to help your team connect their work to purpose for all kinds of work, and unlock the momentum that follows:

🔁 5 Ways to Connect Work to Purpose

1. Tell the Story of the Impact

It is easy to get caught up in the details, but stories are what create connection.

• Share what changed for someone because of the work.
• Show how a system upgrade, a new feature, or a better workflow helped someone work smarter, safer, or faster.
• Give context that brings the work to life and connects to your users or mission.

Try to tie this to the things that have some emotional component.

💡 Tip: Add a “Why It Matters” slide to reviews or milestone check-ins.

2. Draw the Line from Work to End Value

Even in technical roles, people want to know: What does this unlock? What’s the downstream impact?

Don’t assume people know the end goal, make it visible.
• If you’re improving reliability, show what it enables.
• If you’re reducing complexity, tie it to velocity.
• If you’re refactoring, explain what it clears the path for.

💡 Tip: Add a “Strategic Value” section: Why this work now? What future does it support? What if we don’t do this work?

3. Set Goals That Ladder Up to Purpose

Teams often set goals based on delivery: hit a timeline, launch a system, hit a target.
But high-performing teams ask: “What impact will this unlock, and why does that matter?”

Try this:
• For every initiative or milestone, add a second sentence: “This matters because…”
• Map initiatives to broader outcomes, user experience, strategic clarity, long-term scalability.

💡 Tip: Document how the work traces back to mission, users, or vision.

4. Purpose Brings Ownership and Better Decisions

When people understand the why, they don’t need constant direction, they can lead better.

I’ve seen this shift again and again:

Once the purpose is clear, people start making better calls without having to have as much guidance along the way:

They speak up sooner.
They push back more thoughtfully.
They bring up new ideas.

Because purpose sets the parameters for good judgment.

Instead of asking, “Did we follow the process?”
They start asking, “Does this decision serve the bigger goal?”

💡 Tip: Before every milestone, revisit the “why.” Ask:

• “What’s the outcome we care about?”
• “How will this decision help us get there?”

5. Ask What Feels Meaningful and Build Around It

Technical work isn’t just systems, it’s people solving hard problems in creative ways.
And people stay more engaged when they have some say in where they’re growing and contributing.

Ask in 1:1s:
• “What part of your work feels most energizing right now?”
• “Where would you like more ownership, autonomy, or depth?”

Then look for small ways to align that with team needs.
Motivation grows when people feel their skills and purpose are in motion.

💡 Tip: Include a “Motivation Check-In” in growth conversations and revisit it.

5. Celebrate the Work and Call Out Why It has Meaning

Not all impact is visible but that doesn’t mean it isn’t meaningful.

• The simplification that makes things easier downstream.
• The internal tool that saves time for multiple teams.
• The decisions that makes scaling smoother later.

Those contributions create leverage and often go unrecognized.

💡 Tip: Spotlight meaningful progress in meetings or email that might otherwise stay hidden.

A Quick Reminder for Leaders

Connect the dots. Reflect on progress. Anchor it in purpose.

That’s how teams move faster and smarter.

As Sinek puts it:

“When people understand the ‘why,’ they are more inspired, more committed, and more innovative.”

👋 I'd love to hear:
What have you done (or seen) that helped connect technical work to a greater purpose?

The more responsibility I took on, the more I felt the pressure to be decisive, clear, and, if I’m honest, right.

But over time, I’ve learned something that’s changed how I lead:

The most respected leaders I have seen in action don’t lead by being the smartest person in the room.

They lead by creating spaces where people and ideas come together.

They don’t avoid disagreement. They don’t need to be right.

And they never pretend to know it all.

They ask great questions.
They invite pushback.
They lead with curiosity.

They admit when they don’t know.

Brené Brown calls this “rumbling with vulnerability” in Dare to Lead, the willingness to be real, ask the hard questions, and build trust through honesty.

Curiosity opens minds for leaders themselves and others. To better ideas. To deeper trust. To innovation.

Curiosity Doesn’t Mean You Don’t Have Opinions

Let’s be clear, great leaders aren’t passive.

They have strong opinions and give clear direction.
But they also aren’t afraid to pause and ask:
“What might I be missing?”

They recognize that the people closest to the work often have the best insight.
They don’t need to have the final word to move things forward.
They know that saying they don’t know isn’t a weakness, but invites others to contribute too.

Be Curious about Healthy Conflict

The best leaders I’ve worked with don’t shy away from tension, they get curious about it.

Healthy conflict surfaces hidden assumptions, sparks better questions, and leads to smarter decisions.

When handled well, conflict becomes a tool for clarity, creativity, and trust, not something to fear, but something to lean into.

So What Does This Look Like in Practice?

Here’s what I’ve seen make the biggest difference:

✅ Ask more than you tell
→ “What’s the biggest assumption we’re making here?”

✅ Lead with a point of view, but stay open
→ “This looks like the right direction, what am I missing?”

✅ Treat dissent like a contribution, not a threat
→ “I see your point of view, let’s dig in to understand it better.”

✅ Name uncertainty
→ “I don’t know, but I’d love to hear your take.”

The Leadership I Respect Most? It’s Curious.

The leaders that I’ve seen who are the most trusted aren’t afraid to be challenged.

They model humility.
They show that strength isn’t about being the loudest.
It’s about being open, especially when it’s hard.
And it’s the kind of culture I want to build and work in.

What about you?

When have you seen curiosity or disagreement lead to a better outcome?

Add a comment, I’d love to hear from you.

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But the more I lead, especially through uncertainty, the more I realize it’s the small things that matter most.
Not just what we say, but how we say it.

These 9 phrases have shaped how I lead conversations, teams, and decisions and I’ve seen them open doors that titles and talent alone can’t.

Not by relying on authority or having all the answers.
And definitely not by trying to control every outcome.

They build trust through how they show up.

Here are 9 simple phrases I’ve seen used by the most trusted and effective leaders.

1. “Can you help me think this through?”

I used to believe I had to figure it out before asking anyone else. But I’ve found this phrase opens the door to better ideas and stronger relationships.
It says: I value your perspective. I trust you.

2. “This is how I think about this…”

I’ve worked with incredible people, and one thing I’ve noticed is this:
The best leaders don’t just make decisions. They show their thinking.

Explaining your reasoning:

• Builds transparency.

• Invites feedback.

• Makes space for shared understanding.

Even when you’re confident in your call, explaining the why strengthens trust and alignment.

3. “I don’t know, but I can find out.”

Early in my career, I thought I had to have all the answers. I’ve since learned: credibility isn’t about knowing everything, it’s about being honest when you don’t.

This phrase shows:

• You’re committed to learning, not bluffing.

• You’re someone others can rely on to follow through.

And that builds trust far faster than faking it ever could.

4. “Tell me more about your concerns.”

When someone pushes back, it’s easy to move into defense mode. But I’ve learned the better move is to get curious.

Asking this does two things:

• Signals genuine listening.

• Helps people feel heard and respected.

This small phrase shifts the tone from tension to trust — and it leads to better ideas, too.

5. “Here’s the context behind this…”

I’ve seen how often people resist change not because they disagree, but because they don’t understand the full picture.

Context matters. Sharing it:

• Creates clarity.

• Builds a sense of inclusion.

• Helps people align with the decision, even if they didn’t make it.

People don’t trust what they don’t understand. But they do trust leaders who communicate openly.

6. “I trust your judgment on this.”

If I had to pick one phrase that unlocks teams, it’s this.

Saying it signals:

• Confidence in someone’s ability.

• Respect for their expertise.

No one likes being micromanaged. When people know you trust them, they step up. I’ve seen it over and over again.

7. “How can I support you?”

Great leaders don’t just assign work — they help remove roadblocks.

This question shows:

• You’re invested in their success.

• You’re not just delegating, you’re partnering.

Sometimes support looks like resources. Sometimes it’s space, coaching, or just listening. But by asking this regularly, you signal that you’re not watching from the sidelines — you’re in it with them.

It builds trust because people know:
They can ask for what they need — and not be judged for it.

8. “We’re not aiming for perfect. We’re aiming for progress.”

This is important when teams hesitate or get stuck in overthinking.
It signals that learning and momentum matter more than polish, and that action is how we grow.

9.“You’ve got this. I’ll back your decision.”

Trust is a two-way street.
This phrase has been key when empowering someone to lead. It gives them space, and reassurance that I’m behind them.

Trust is built or broken in everyday interactions.

The top 1% of leaders and performers understand this. They use words that invite trust, not demand it. The key to being a respected leader lies not just in mastering the skills but in consistently practicing the habits that cultivate trust and encourage growth.

If you want more insights on leadership and career growth, be sure to stay connected. Follow me on ​LinkedIn​.

Want to dive deeper?

Trust is built in small, daily moments. So are high-performance habits.

If you want a quick visual guide to the skills I’ve seen again and again in the top 1% of leaders, here’s a cheat sheet I put together:

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