The word “deconstruction” comes from the prefix “de-” (meaning “undo” or “reverse”) combined with “construction” (the act of building).

Brené Brown

The way I understood it, which might not be the author’s original intention, was the idea of breaking something down while building it. Both things together. The magic word being “while“ or “combined.“ Not this or that. Not the singular idea of destruction. Nor the idea of perpetual building. But the act of doing both at the same time.

The book delves into daring leadership and that particular chapter on how leaders can usher in transformation at an organizational level, yet the same concept applies to mending, upcyling, or transforming clothing into its next phase of life. Letting go of what once was, breaking down what no longer works, reimagining what it could be, and building it into what will be, one stitch at a time.

As I write this, I am amidst my own “deconstruction.“ When I founded Mendful, almost a year ago, I lived in Richmond, VA, a city that has been my home at three different times in my life. For the past few months, we’ve been preparing for a move to sunny Los Angeles, which will be our home for the second time.

Packing is a funny process because it makes you confront every item you own and asks you if it has a place in your next phase of life. Do you want to pack it, carry it, and care for it? Are you willing to go through the trouble of caring for this item? Has it earned its place in your future? Does it reflect who you are now and who you are becoming? Or are you holding onto some baggage and remnants of who you no longer are? What are you destroying while becoming?

Mendful has been my dream for many years. And it took me more than 5 years to work up the nerve to launch it. This was Phase 1. It is real, it is live. It is no longer a figment of my imagination. Now I actually get to dedicate my time and energy into Phase 2 of Mendful. Destroying the vision of Mendful as a mere concept while building it into a business that is sustainable in terms of problems it’s solving, offering alternative ways of engaging with fashion, and making it manageable to run as a solopreneur. I am so excited to see how Mendful grows and transforms in the city of Angels, the land of creativity and beauty.

Thank you for reading this far. I will see you on the other side. 🧵🪡

Mendful is the modern visible mending studio. It is a remembering of the skills of our ancestors and transforming them into a service of care for this generation and next. We find beauty in the broken things and celebrate stories of resilience. Visit our website at bemendful.com

Now that I live on the east coast with all the seasons, I find myself experiencing style amnesia during the transitions. I just got really good at dressing for winter and now I have to start dressing for a new climate and weather? If you’re in a similar boat as me and feeling a little rusty getting dressed for spring, here are some ideas.

1. Rewear last springs’ purchases. All whites with black accessories. If you bought the fisherman sandals last spring, you’re likely to still love them this spring. Sheer skirts are still a great look. If you want a newer feeling, experiment with styling them differently this year round.

   

   

   

2. Continue wearing some of your winter items. A majority of your closet should be wearable through most of the year. Remember, your personality doesn’t entirely jump cut from one season to the next. Keep the throughline. Put away some of your heavier knits, but keep the light and medium weight ones nearby. Bring some of your linen and cotton pieces to the front of your closet.
   

3. Simple accessory swaps change the vibe of your look. Keep the outfit the same and swap out your accessories. Instead of your usual leather tote, a woven raffia basket bags signal picnic weather and fresh cut flowers. I’m very into natural material accessories and very partial to wooden accessories currently. Wooden bead necklaces and wooden bags! Both can be found secondhand at antique shops and at thrift stores.

   

   

   

4. Look for outfit inspiration based on the clothing items you already own. The biggest impact that most conscious consumers could make is shifting from a shopping lens to a styling lens. When you look at the latest brand lookbooks and runway shows, instead of, “where can I get that?,“ try “how did they style that?“ Do the opposite of what people tend to seek, which is “what do I not have?” Pro level move here is to notice how brands and influencers style items you already have. Here are some screenshots I’ve saved from yesterday’s Dior Fall 2026 RTW runway show and how I’ve styled the what I own inspired by their show.

   

   

   

5. Try on all your clothes. Sometimes we forget what we own, if they’re not in a frequent reach spot. Take a look at every item, try styling it different ways. Do they fit? Do they feel good? Do they feel like you? Do they need to be washed, dry cleaned, altered? Are there holes or rips that need mending? Then make piles: “Dry Clean,“ “Mending,“ “To Let Go.“ And the big takeaway is when you’re ready to let go of an item, find the person who wants it. Donations can be tricky if your items aren’t easily sellable at the thrift stores. Gift it to a friend, do a swap, sell on ebay, sell to a consignment store, or list on cleowave. Do anything but “out of sight, out of mind.“ After the clothing items have served their purpose for you, try to place them somewhere they’re wanted and cared for.

Mendful is for those who wear clothing with care, curiosity, and intention. Through visible mending and other thoughtful practices, we reimagine how we engage with fashion. Here, even the simple act of getting dressed is transformed into creative play.

A sweater is material, labor, and lives woven together. Once it enters our wardrobe, its longevity becomes ours to steward. A new chapter begins. And how we care for it determines how long the story lasts.

Caring for knitwear is not as intimidating as it might seem at first glance and can be quite enjoyable once you get the hang of it. Think of it as participation with the knitwear — wearing, resting, and refreshing.

When I curated the Sweater Edit, a limited collection of 100% natural fibers, I chose pieces meant to be lived in — worn through shifting seasons, softened by time, and eventually, perhaps, repaired.

Cleaning Knitwear

The first rule is simple: Wash as little as possible.

Sweaters do not need frequent laundering. In fact, over-washing is what shortens their life.

If you wear a cotton t-shirt or thin long sleeve underneath, it absorbs most natural moisture. Those layers can be washed regularly, allowing the sweater itself to rest.

Often, a sweater only needs:

• Airing out overnight
• Spot cleaning where necessary
• A gentle refresh instead of a full wash

A steamer can also revive knitwear beautifully. Steam relaxes wrinkles, refreshes fibers, and restores drape without the stress of full immersion. For many sweaters, steaming might be enough.

As always, begin by reading the care label. The care label is your garments’ default care manual.

Animal Fibers: Wool & Cashmere

Wool and cashmere have tiny scales that can tighten and interlock when exposed to heat, friction, or sudden temperature changes — this is what causes felting and shrinkage.

Here’s how to hand wash at home:

1. Fill a basin with cold water (keep the temperature consistent throughout).

2. Add a small amount of gentle wool wash or shampoo.

3. Submerge the sweater and lightly press water through the knit.

4. Avoid rubbing, wringing, or agitation.

5. Soak for 10–15 minutes.

6. Press water out gently. Never twist.

Lift the sweater with two hands to support its weight. Wet fibers are more vulnerable to stretching.

Think of it as tending rather than scrubbing.

A few fiber-specific notes:

• Cashmere is exceptionally soft because it is made from shorter, finer fibers and can also mean it may pill more easily at friction points.
• Merino wool is smoother and less itchy than traditional wool but can be more delicate.
• Lambswool and Shetland wool tend to be sturdier and more resilient, though slightly coarser to the touch.

Cotton Sweaters

Cotton can be more forgiving, but when wet it becomes heavy and can stretch under its own weight.

Some cotton knits may be washed on cold using a delicate cycle. If the care label states a machine washing is appropriate:

• Use cold water
• Choose a gentle cycle
• Consider placing it inside a mesh bag

Reshape while damp and always dry flat.

Even with cotton, less is more.

Drying

Okay, here comes the second rule: Never place sweaters in the dryer.

Heat and tumbling cause fibers to tighten, distort, and sometimes shrink beyond repair.

Instead:

1. Lay the sweater flat on a clean, dry towel.
2. Roll the towel gently to absorb excess water.
3. Unroll.
4. Reshape the sweater to its original proportions; this is known as blocking.
5. Lay flat to dry completely.

Blocking simply means returning the garment to its intended shape while it is still damp.

This small act makes a difference.

Storing Knitwear

Sweaters should rest folded, not hung.

Hangers pull at the shoulders and stretch the knit over time. Even structured knits benefit from folding on shelves.

If storing wool long-term:

• Clean it first.
• Store in breathable materials.
• Add cedar blocks or sachets to naturally deter moths.

And remember, sweaters are not strictly winter garments. Knitwear can live with you nearly year-round. And if you live in a temperamental climate like me, it can be 60 and Sunny and snowing all within a 24 hour period.

Maintenance: Season to Season

Pilling is normal. It comes from friction, an evidence of frequent wear. You can gently remove pills using a sweater comb. Move lightly and slowly.

Between seasons, take a moment to look closely at your sweaters.

Are there thinning elbows? A loose thread near a cuff? A small weak spot forming at the underarm? Reinforcing areas early prevents larger repairs later.

Care does not mean keeping something pristine. It means staying in relationship with what you wear.

And if you’re curious to learn more, read our recent posts about Mending and Styling Sweaters.

The Sweater Edit is a small, thoughtful curation of sweaters made from 100% natural fibers. No blends and no synthetics. They were sourced slowly for their lasting design, quality, and styling possibilities. They are now ready to rewear and wear down.

But it isn’t just faulty clothes that develop rips and holes. All clothing need some TLC from time to time. Much like how a car allegedly needs tune-up, maintenance, and tire rotation. Your most worn clothes carry the slope of your shoulder, its elbows rubbing down just in that precise way, or maybe the knees of your pants ripped on that cobblestone sidewalk instead of your skin. When fabric gives way, it’s a sign the garment has been serving you as you move through the world.

If a sweater has holes, one of the simplest way to mend is plain weave darning. Darning is a way to recreate the lost fabric with thread. I find the simple over/under repetitive motion meditative and really pleasing. Put on your favorite podcast or playlist and time will fly by as you mend your sweater.

The Sweater Edit is a small, thoughtful curation of sweaters made from 100% natural fibers. No blends and no synthetics. They were sourced slowly for their lasting design, quality, and styling possibilities. They are now ready to rewear and wear down.

What you’ll need:

- Yarn to closely match your garment
- Tapestry needle (or a needle with a big eye)
- Scissors
- Embroidery hoop (optional but helps keep your mend steady)

1. Clean up the hole by cutting away any loose thread.

2. Thread your needle with a single yarn. Keep the yarn to the length of about your elbow to keep it manageable.

3. Using the embroidery hoop, secure the hoop with the hole in the center.

4. Push the needle through the underside of fabric about 1/2 inch from the edges of the hole. This gives you about an inch “padding“ total vertically and horizontally.

5. Starting at one of the corners, begin a vertical running stitch until you have a running stitch that covers 1/2 inch on both left and right sides of the hole.

6. Once you are finished with the vertical stitch, start your horizonal stitch weaving in and over every vertical line.

7. Pull the yarn through to the underside. Tie off the yarn and weave in any remaining tails.

If you are looking to do a deeper dive into mending, I’d recommend The Mending Life by sisters and artists .

Mendful is for those who wear clothing with care, curiosity, and intention. Through visible mending and other thoughtful practices, we reimagine how we engage with fashion. Here, even the simple act of getting dressed is transformed into creative play.

Gentle Mender, I, too, recognize the irony in having launched “The Sweater Edit“ last week. Correction: I was not a sweater person until I started seeing the styling possibilities from my favorite fashion creators and writers.

Inspired by their ideas, I learned that sweaters can be worn as sweaters and also not-sweaters. I also learned that sweaters can be worn almost year-round and not just limited to the Dec-Jan corner of the year. There is also the practicality aspect of layering one over basically any outfit. A light sweater can come in handy when the office AC is set to a “freezing“ by default or when a late night breeze hits on a summer night.

Here are 3 different and perhaps unexpected ideas for styling sweaters from 3 of my favorite substack creators.

Irene Kim is a Stylist and a Contributing Editor who has been helping people build beautiful wardrobes from the inside out for 12+ years.

Laura Kirk De Valencia is an Artist and a Fashion Writer who navigates the tension between fashion's frivolity and depth.

Laurel Pantin is a Fashion Director, Writer, and Owner of Shop Earl IRL, who breaks down the hows and whys of what to wear.

Hope these ideas inspire you to become a sweater person, as they have me.

1. Sweater as a Scarf

2. Sweater as a Belt

3. Texture Play

The Sweater Edit is a small, thoughtful curation of sweaters made from 100% natural fibers. No blends and no synthetics. They were sourced slowly for their lasting design, quality, and styling possibilities. They are now ready to rewear and wear down.

Mendful is for those who wear clothing with care, curiosity, and intention. Through visible mending and other thoughtful practices, we reimagine how we engage with fashion. Here, even the simple act of getting dressed is transformed into creative play.

For the past couple of weeks, we’ve been talking about imperfection, intention, and what happens to our clothes after we’re done with them.

About how sustainability isn’t a competition.
About how none of us do this perfectly. And for surely, not me. And that small, well-intentioned choices do add up.

This is where the Sweater Edit comes in.

The Sweater Edit is a small, thoughtful collection of sweaters made from 100% natural fibers. No blends and no synthetics. They were sourced slowly for their lasting design, quality, and styling possibilities. They are now ready to rewear and wear down.

If we’re going to shop for clothing, they should be made of materials that are kind to our bodies, breathable on our skin, and capable of returning to the earth when their long lives are finally complete.

Natural fibers—like wool, cotton, and other plant- and animal-based materials—biodegrade. They soften, pill, stretch, and show signs of being worn. They ask to be cared for, and sometimes mended.

The Sweater Edit is for people who:

    •    want fewer, better things
    •    value longevity over novelty
    •    understand that wear is not failure
    •    and believe care is a form of resistance

The Sweater Edit is now live.

With care,

Nomin
Founder, Mendful

In my view, engaging in fashion sustainably is making more conscious choices in the imperfect ecosystem of sustainability. That might mean dialing into your own style so you feel good, look good, and more like yourself on day to day basis. It might mean trying a low or no buy challenge to make the best of what you already own. It might mean caring for your clothing longer through altering, mending, or upcycling, instead of discarding. It might mean shopping in person so you buy clothing that you already know fit you well, reducing the need for returns. It might mean learning to shop secondhand, if you don’t do that at the moment. It might also mean considering the fabric composition of clothing before a purchase because natural fibers are gentler on the environment.

Either way, none of the above examples are one and done solutions. They are imperfect on their own, however, are very effective when combined with one another. They also give you ideas for getting started, if you would like to and are able to. There is definitely no Virtue Olympics here. If this was an Olympics of anything, it would be of “imperfect, well-intentioned efforts.” And everyone gets a medal for trying.

Welcome, the water is warm here.

Speaking of warm, The Sweater Edit goes live on 02.04.2026.

Mendful is the modern visible mending studio. It is a remembering of the skills of our ancestors and transforming them into a service of care for this generation and next. We find beauty in the broken things and celebrate stories of resilience. Visit our website at bemendful.com

Why is the fabric content important? There are three main types of fibers: natural (like wool, cotton, cashmere, silk, hemp), synthetic (polyester, acrylic, nylon, spandex), and man-made (more innovative fibers like acetate, rayon, lyocel, etc.) For the purposes of today’s topic, let’s focus on natural and synthetic fibers.

Synthetic fibers constitute about two thirds of the garments made today. Polyester, nylon, acrylic, and elastane are made from fossil fuels, release microplastics into the environment, and are not biodegradable. Even when a garment is made from recycled polyester, the recycled polyester is usually supplied from plastic bottles and not garments. As the beverage industry shifts away from the use of plastics for their packaging, this practice is not a sustainable long term solution.

Clothing made of natural fibers, on the other hand, are often constructed with higher consideration for quality, are more breathable on the skin, and are biodegradable. Biodegradability is an important factor to consider as 70% of our clothing (donated, returned, and discarded) currently end up in landfills.

One last note is about fabric composition. Is your clothing made from one type of fiber (mono material) or is it a blend of fibers? Sometimes fashion marketing might label garments “wool” or “cashmere” when it is, in fact, a blend of 70% acrylic and 30% wool/cashmere. There are cost and sometimes performance benefits to using synthetic or synthetic blend in clothing. Through the lens of biodegradability, however, a good rule of thumb is to aim to choose 100% natural fiber clothing over synthetic fiber or synthetic blend.

Following are some of the common clothing fibers and the time it takes to biodegrade.

Cotton - 1 to 5 months. Organic cotton biodegrades without releasing any chemicals.
Linen - As little as 2 weeks. Especially when untreated.
Hemp - 3 months.
Wool - 6 to 12 months. Wool also promotes soil health, releasing valuable nutrients back into the ground.
Nylon - Not biodegradable. Can sit in landfills for hundreds of years.
Spandex or Elastane - Not biodegradable. Decompose in up to 200 years.
Acrylic - Not biodegradable. Up to 200 years.
Polyester - Not biodegradable. 20 to 200 years.

Sources:
https://manteco.com/biodegradability-in-fashion-all-you-need-to-know/
https://www.aatcc.org/designing-to-biodegrade/
https://www.vogue.com/article/fashion-plastic

Mendful is the modern visible mending studio. It is a remembering of the skills of our ancestors and transforming them into a service of care for this generation and next. We find beauty in the broken things and celebrate stories of resilience. Visit our website at bemendful.com

iPhones have a life cycle of a merely couple of years, urging you to buy the newer model with a bigger camera year after year. Going through the trouble of replacing a shelf in a fridge costs about the same as buying an entire new fridge. This week, I tried to return a new clothing item to a big box store and they refunded me the money but did not want their product back.

In the western world, there is clearly no shortage of stuff. There is, in fact, an overwhelming amount of stuff. Of clothing, kitchen gadgets, thingamabob of whatever niche. Stuff being made and bought without concern for the environmental costs of producing new products and being tossed or donated at almost the same furious pace.

I’m weary of the more, more, more and new, new, new.
I’m inclined to “This is good.” “This is enough.” “This can be fixed.“
I don’t want to repeat purchase. I want to purchase once and repeat care.
What if we start to care for the stuff that already exists?
What happens if we stopped buying and started caring?

I keep imagining a neighborhood strip in a town, maybe a block in every town. Let’s call it the “Care & Repair Block.” The first brick and mortar you see is a mending studio, where you can drop off your clothing items that need a little TLC. The mending studio is perhaps by a sustainable styling business, where they are in the business of styling clothing you already have, rather than being incentivized to make you buy new. The next door is a shoe and bag repair, where you can get your shoes resoled or your bag strap replaced. Across the street is an appliance repair shop, where you can replace the lever on your toaster. In the same shop are rows and rows of tools, tiny bolts, and screws of every size that you might need. In the corner is a pottery studio that offers lessons on the wheel and demonstrates how to repair the chip in your ceramics in a food-friendly way.

Is Care & Repair Block just a delulu fantasy?
Or a relic of yester-year.

I don’t think so. I don’t believe it’s too late. Given the turmoil and “unprecedented” times we are experiencing over the better half of the last decade, it is now the perfect time to build a new foundation. It is broke, so let’s fix it. Let’s mend our clothes, our systems, and our relationship to people and resources. This is the time to disrupt our default mode of engaging with *gestures broadly* everything. If there can be an unprecedented amount of terrible, horrible things, there is also a taste for an unprecedented amount of wonderful new ideas.

No new stuff, just new ideas.

Shall we get building?

Mendful is the modern visible mending studio. It is a remembering of the skills of our ancestors and transforming them into a service of care for this generation and next. We find beauty in the broken things and celebrate stories of resilience. Visit our website at bemendful.com

Here are a few examples of where mending has shown up in history, shaping not just clothes but the way people lived:

1. Japan: Sashiko and the Beauty of the Visible

In Japan, a centuries-old practice called sashiko (literally “little stabs”) emerged in the 17th century. Rural communities, often with limited means, used rows of running stitches to reinforce worn cotton garments. Over time, the stitches became not only practical but also decorative, forming patterns of waves, mountains, and geometric shapes. What began as a way to extend the life of workwear turned into an art form. Today, sashiko is celebrated globally as an early form of “visible mending”—a philosophy that doesn’t hide flaws but elevates them.

2. Scandinavia: Darning Woolens Against the Cold

In the cold climates of Norway, Sweden, and Finland, handknit wool garments were essential for survival. When socks or sweaters wore thin at the heels and elbows, families practiced darning: weaving yarn back and forth across a hole to recreate the missing fabric. These tiny woven patches weren’t ornamental; they were practical acts of endurance. In an environment where warmth meant survival, darning was a quiet ritual of protection, proof of the value placed on handmade clothing.

3. The US & UK Wartime Years: “Make Do and Mend”

During the 1930s and again in the 1940s wartime years, the United States saw a revival of mending as both necessity and patriotic duty. In the Great Depression, frugality meant patching over buying. Later, during World War II, the British government popularized the phrase “Make Do and Mend,” encouraging citizens to extend the lives of their clothes in service of the war effort. The same ideas popularized in the US. Old flour sacks were sewn into dresses, patches into trousers, and mending became an everyday expression of resilience and resourcefulness.

Across these examples, we see a common thread: mending isn’t just about saving a garment. It’s about finding value in what we already have. It’s about creativity under constraint. It’s about a deeper relationship with our clothing. When we mend today—whether with sashiko stitches, wool darning, or a simple patch—we’re not reinventing the wheel. We’re carrying forward traditions that remind us: clothes are more than disposable. They are worth keeping, worth tending, and worth wearing longer.

✨ Question for you: Do you have a mending story in your family history? A grandmother who darned socks, a parent who patched jeans, or a memory of your own? I’d love to hear it. Share in the comments—let’s collect these stories together.

Mendful is the modern visible mending studio. It is a remembering of the skills of our ancestors and transforming them into a service of care for this generation and next. We find beauty in the broken things and celebrate stories of resilience. Visit our website at bemendful.com

It is okay to take a break from your to-do list. Whatever it is that fills your soul, that makes you feel alive, that reminds you of your humanness, do that. Pour into your own cup, do what you can to care for yourself and your loved ones, and note the joys and the beauty that cannot be taken away. Get enough sleep, drink your water, eat what nourishes your body. Go into nature. Take a nap. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.

Today, we will log off.

We will try again tomorrow.

The idea that there is an “away.”
Everything you throw away has to end up somewhere.

Mendful is the modern visible mending studio. It is a remembering of the skills of our ancestors and transforming them into a service of care for this generation and next. We find beauty in the broken things and celebrate stories of resilience. Visit our website at bemendful.com

Or could value be something else entirely?

Think about your favorite shirt—the one that has softened with every wash, the one that carries the shape of your shoulders. Could you sell it for what it’s truly worth to you? Could you even put a number on it?

Money is only one kind of value. We’ve been taught to measure everything in dollars, but what if clothing carries worth in other currencies—memory, comfort, identity, care?

And what about the hours of craft from the person who cut the fabric, stitched the seams, folded it for shipment? What about the energy woven into the cotton itself—the rain, the soil, the labor of harvesting? What about your own memories—the job interview, the road trip, the ordinary Tuesday when you reached for that one specific shirt because it just felt right?

Every garment has a story that began long before you picked it off a rack or clicked “buy now.” To repair your clothes is to honor those invisible hands, the hidden landscapes, and your own lived-in moments stitched into the fabric.

Is it cheaper to buy new than to mend? Maybe.
Is it easier? Sure.
But what do we lose when we only measure ease and cost?

We lose the chance to see that we already have enough. When we care for and repair what we own, our closets grow richer—not with more things, but with meaning.

Mending is a small act of rebellion against disposable culture. It’s a way of saying: this shirt, this dress, this jacket still has something to give. I choose to see it, honor it, and extend its life.

So, how do you value your clothes?

🧵🪡 As a thank you for being here, Substack subscribers receive 20% off your first Mendful repair—a small nudge toward cherishing what you already have. Code: BETTERTHANNEW. Offer expires 09/30/25 at 11:59 PM EST.

Mendful is the modern visible mending studio. It is a remembering of the skills of our ancestors and transforming them into a service of care for this generation and next. We find beauty in the broken things and celebrate stories of resilience. Visit our website at bemendful.com

Great news is you already have a personal style, whether you are conscious of it or not. The purpose of engaging with fashion is to develop a more conscious personal style and to fine-tune our personal style to be more aligned to who we are in the moment. I define personal style as an expression of you, in clothing form. Each of us has a certain unique energy, an intangible je ne sais quoi, that can be expressed through clothing. Developing your personal style isn’t like the other fashion fads, because for the first time ever, it asks that you look internally to figure out how to dress, rather than following orders from likely sponsored external sources.

All personal style asks is that you look like yourself. That you dress for the life you have, for the experiences you’ve had, for the places and memories that shape you, for the movies and references that appeal to you, for dressing your body in a way that feels comfortable and even really good to you, for ways that bring you delight, for showing your values and interests. Another way to think of personal style is how you wear your clothing, rather than what you wear. So it’s not about any one item but the software / the visual language that informs how you put these disparate pieces into a single outfit that feels like you.

While there has been a huge uptick in conversations around personal style and some around mending your clothing, I have not seen the two conversations intersect. Mending cultivates a personal and meaningful relationship between you and your clothing. Mending can express your values of loving and caring for your clothing, cherishing your stories and your past, and being aware of the impact of creating new clothing on the environment. Mending informs how you wear your clothes. You wear it well, you wear it down, you wear it with care, you rewear it. You make it last. You make it yours. And I cannot see anything that is more reflective of your personal style than that.

So if you have recently sorted through your closet (maybe in preparation for the cooler weather) and have a mending pile ready, you are in luck. Or if you’re curious about visible mending, but never have mended before, now’s your chance. Early subscribers to this substack will get 20% off mending orders with the code BETTERTHANNEW. Offer ends 09/30/2025 at 11:59 PM EST.

Mendful is the modern visible mending studio. It is a remembering of the skills of our ancestors and transforming them into a service of care for this generation and next. We find beauty in the broken things and celebrate stories of resilience. Come along on this journey of cultivating a meaningful relationship to our clothing. Visit our website at bemendful.com

It’s easy to end up with a closet full of clothes that don’t feel like us. The algorithms constantly try to persuade us to “buy now” with the same sponsored items on a plethora of influencers. The esteemed “fashion insiders” post very prescriptive articles with convenient links to shop the upcoming microseason’s latest must-haves and inform us what very recently “in” items are now “out”. You go shopping with your well-meaning friends in stores and they try to convince you to buy something you’re not sure about because it’s very “flattering” on you.

Amidst all of this external noise and the machine that feeds the current fashion industry, it’s understandable that most of us feel disconnected from our clothes. Disconnected from our own personal style. Disconnected from how clothes are actually made.

We are often stuck in this cycle of creating / manufacturing “desire” and then temper that immediately with the dopamine hit of “BUY NOW.” I’ve fallen to this same cycle myself, where I unconsciously and irrationally believed that the next purchase might be THE SOLUTION to my wardrobe, my feelings, and my, well, life? But when the order actually comes, it never actually meets that impossible expectation we set for it. In the words of Chastity, played by Gabrielle Union in 10 Things I Hate About You, the feeling is often somewhere between underwhelmed and just whelmed.

And it’s onto the next. Next desire. Next “it” item. And the cycle repeats. If we take a step back and give ourselves the space we need, we would see our own patterns and recognize that this next purchase isn’t going to solve our problems. It will likely even create new ones.

So how do we go from disconnection to connection? How do we create a more conscious relationship to our clothing and our style? How do we start to feel good in our clothes?

We pause. We stop the constant “buy now.” Change the default setting of how we engage with fashion. We try alternatives to buying. We try styling our clothes. And then think about what we like. What feels good to us, on our very own bodies. What speaks to us and ponder why. We read care labels. We learn to care for our clothing. We let the dust settle. We breathe into our uncomfortable feelings. We stay open to IRL inspiration. We remember our favorite outfits from our past. We recreate outfits we like with what we already own. We look within.

Here are 10 conscious steps to create a more connected relationship to your clothing.

1. Stop buying new clothes.

Take a break from shopping. Unfollow brands and influencers that tempt you. Find alternatives to mindless scrolling on social media or brands’ websites.

2. Reflect on how you want to feel, what you like, and why.

Three Style Words, by Allison Bornstein, is a useful tool here. How do you define your style using three words? Three is a perfect number because it is just enough to create nuance and tension that feels like us without feeling too one note.

3. Look at your current closet through the new lens.

Sift. Do your clothes reflect how you want to feel and make you feel good? Note your wardrobe heroes, the items you always tend to reach for. They are your Style Pillars. They will form the foundation of your closet.

4. Make piles.

What’s not working? What items are you not reaching for? What doesn’t feel good on your body? Here are some possible piles: “To Restyle”, “To Alter”, “To Mend”, “To Sell”, “To Donate”. Then restyle things you like but don’t wear. Alter or mend clothing that needs repair.

5. With every item you’re letting go of, make note of why you gravitated to them in the first place, and why they don’t work for you.

These are useful data points that ultimately make up your personal style. When you are aware of these, your future clothing purchases and decisions can be more attuned to you.

6. Let your closet breathe.

Don’t rush to start filling it back up. What is working? What is missing? Can you creative problem solve for your wardrobe gaps with what you already own? Wear something wrong. Wear something differently than what you’re used to.

7. Get curious.

Be open to inspiration. Take screenshots. Who are your style inspirations? Instead of asking what they’re wearing, ask how. How do they wear their clothing?

8. Recreate what you are drawn to with what you already own.

Look through your favorite brands’ lookbooks with a styling lens, instead of shopping. Think of a metaphorical “STYLE NOW” button. This can be a creative and fulfilling challenge because it’s possible you may have been drawn to the styling of your favorite brands, rather than the specific items for sale.

9. Create a wishlist of your wardrobe gaps.

Think of each new wishlist item as a tool for your wardrobe that can solve multiple problems. A new paintbrush or a Swiss army knife. A good tool has utility, serves multiple purpose, and can unlock new combinations.

9. When something new (or secondhand) excites you, run it through Step 2, “how you want to feel” filter.

Do they match your Three Style Words? Do they work with your wardrobe heroes? Indyx is a useful styling tool here when you want to see if a new addition would unlock new possibilities in your wardrobe. Can you create at least 5 different outfits with this potential new item?

10. Welcome the item into your closet by trying on multiple outfits.

Okay, after careful consideration, you’ve decided to make the purchase. Now it’s time to integrate it into your wardrobe. As soon as you get the item, start playing and create multiple outfits that you like with the item. So the next time you reach for this item in your closet, you already have multiple places to start from. And you won’t have that dreaded “nothing to wear” feeling.

Mendful is the modern visible mending studio. It is a remembering of the skills of our ancestors and transforming them into a service of care for this generation and next. We find beauty in the broken things and celebrate stories of resilience. Come along on this journey of cultivating a meaningful relationship to our clothing. Visit our website at bemendful.com

That the unraveling of my plans — the long, slow slip of energy, the days when nothing seemed to stick — meant I was somehow doing life wrong.

But what I’ve learned is this:
Breaking down is often the doorway to becoming.

When the seams of life give way (sometimes loudly, sometimes in whispers), we’re forced to look underneath. To see what’s been holding us together — some of it strong and beautiful, some of it worn out, some of it no longer serving us in our current season.

For me, the past season has been a releasing of ideas I’ve grasped so tightly my entire adulthood. Letting go of what success looked and felt like to me, the idea that I have to do something “impressive”, and the version of myself that only felt safe when I hid behind accomplishments.

It reminds me of trees in autumn and winter. On the surface, it looks quite underwhelming with its falling leaves and bare branches. Underneath the soil, however, the roots are growing stronger and expanding their root systems in search of water and nutrients. When the tree’s resources aren’t dedicated to growing leaves, it is finally free to prep its root system for the upcoming spring.

When I stopped resisting my own unraveling, I began to notice the quiet hum of what wanted to expand in the empty space. Slowly, with gentleness, I started stitching my life back together into a shape I’d never been before. I started introducing new activities, new movement practices, new language to rewire my brain, body, daily rituals so I can show up for my spring.

Clothing, like people, carry their history into their next chapter, wearing each mark and repair as a badge of resilience. No, we are not brand new AND we sure as hell did not give up. It’s why I started Mendful — a place where broken things aren’t thrown away, but made whole in a new way. Here, we celebrate second chances.

If you’re in your own breaking-down season, let this be your reminder: you are in the becoming.

💌 Want to see how I turn worn, torn garments into something beautiful again? Visit Mendful or join my Substack to get stories, behind-the-scenes peeks, and visible mending inspiration sent straight to your inbox.

Mendful is a modern mending studio specializing in visible mending. It is a remembering of the skills of our grandparents and alchemizing them into an offering for this generation and next. We value care and we see broken things as worthy of it. Please join us on this exploration of care and repair.

And around this time, I had come across the concept of kintsugi and these videos on Pinterest of embroidering little hearts or leaves over holes in clothing.

As I perused director reels, made casting decisions, and spent another 2 am in the edit bay reviewing the latest edits of the spots, these embroidery videos just stuck with me. As I caught up with a friend from a previous agency and shared this idea of creating a visible mending service, he immediately saw the vision and got as excited as I was about this idea. Thank you, Steev Szafranski, for being the first voice of confidence when this idea was a teeny, tiny, very vague seed.

Then I went back into finishing the launch TV spots and started developing the scripts for Q2 of 2020. We all know what happened next. So I hunkered down in Seattle, bought a house, became a parent, and started moving into a role at work that involved managing younger talent, which I quite enjoyed. All this time, I started mending my own clothing (very poorly at first), read lots of mending books, learned about the basic two types of mending: patches for woven fabric and darning for knit fabric, attended things like StitchCon, very nervously mended a couple of friends’ clothing, questioned and explored the ecosystem of sustainable fashion, started getting into secondhand clothing for the first time since college, got really good at thrifting, and then consciously started exploring my own personal style.

In June 2023, I got laid off and, in quick succession, didn’t get this one job offer that would have kept me on the same career and life trajectory. But things weren’t the same as before. I was not the same as before. I was a new mother and any time I spent working took precious time away from my little one, so work had really better be worth it. And making more ads just didn’t seem to do the trick anymore. I hated the idea of trying to be “clever” one more time or the constant need to prove myself. I wish I had just quit applying to jobs then. I would have saved myself from talking myself into wanting these jobs and wasting my time along with everyone else’s. I do give myself grace, though, because trying to fit myself into these bullet points that someone else had written was all I knew at the time.

Around 2024, I started making reels on IG around personal style and sustainable fashion mostly as an exploration of these ideas for myself. I didn’t know how it was going to connect back to mending but I knew it all somehow made sense. Life then lifed for another year and change. A few months ago, our kiddo started preschool which finally freed up some time for my “mending business idea.” So here I go. More than 5 years since I had the nugget of an idea, Mendful is actually becoming a reality.

This is my dream. I am so lucky I get to do this. I am so grateful to you for being here.

Mendful launches 08.11.2025.

Mendful is a modern mending studio specializing in visible mending. It is a remembering of the skills of our grandparents and alchemizing them into an offering for this generation and next. We value care and we see broken things as worthy of it. Please join us on this exploration of care and repair.

When it comes to fashion, we’ve been conditioned to look to external sources to tell us exactly what we should and should not be putting on our very own bodies. And many of us are terribly afraid of getting it wrong in some stranger’s critical eye. Meanwhile, clothing is one of the most personal things we encounter, sits literally on our skin, and shapes how we feel all day.

So, what do we learn when we look inward instead? Specifically, into our closet.

Your closet holds the entire history of your clothing decisions: what you buy, wear, and don’t wear. And these items will give you the biggest insights about your own relationship to clothing.

First of all, identify what you wear most often. To throw a couple of helpful acronyms your way, these are your WOFs (WithOut Fails, as coined by Amy Smilovic, Founder of Tibi) and likely has the lowest CPW (Cost Per Wear). These are the building blocks of your style. Take a look at the patterns that emerge. Is there a specific color palette you tend to reach for? Fabric? Cut? Fit? The WOFs play a key role in our style because even when paired with new or novel items, they help you feel like yourself.

Another surprisingly informative place to look is the pile of things you don’t wear. Two questions to ask yourself here are: A) why am I not wearing this? and B) why did I make this purchase decision? Take a moment and reflect. Compare and contrast Column A and B. For example, you love this specific color but don’t love how the material feels on you. Note it down. Try filling in these templates. “What I notice about my style is ______________” or “I don’t tend to wear __________________.’ And in my case, “What I notice about my style is I love the idea of lady suits but never feel like myself wearing them.”

The next big question is “Can I find ways to wear them?” The following questions will give you some ideas.

1. Can I style these differently? Try layering, break “rules”, and play. Let’s say a dress is too short to wear comfortably so you might try styling them over pants.

2. Can I adjust them so I’m actually likely to wear them? If the fit or the hemline feels off, maybe it needs alteration. If there are holes, rips, or stains, it could be mended. You could even use a brooch to shift the silhouette of a garment.

3. Okay, if you don’t want to wear them, try answering these. How can I rehome this item to someone who wants them? Can I sell it? Swap it? Gift to a friend? Donate to consignment shops? The more likely you are to find someone who actually wants the item, the less likely it’ll end up in landfills.

4. And the final question. What have I learned about my style from this example? This is another opportunity for reflection. Jot down anything that comes to your mind. This question helps you recognize your own preferences and dislikes, so in the future you can make purchasing decisions that align closer with …you.

Mendful is a modern mending studio specializing in visible mending. It is a remembering of the skills of our grandparents and alchemizing them into an offering for this generation and next. We value care and we see broken things as worthy of it. Welcome to this exploration of being mendful.

This is my grandmother.

My Grandma taught high school chemistry and, in her free time, embroidery classes to those in her community. She added beauty and artistry to the few and well-cared for every day items my family owned. She passed away while I was still very young, so the memories I have of her are few and far between.

My grandpa was (and is still) the coolest person I’ve ever met. Grandpa fixed everything. Repaired the fence with a loose plank, his old tractor we called “putt-putt” when it broke down, and reunited a new lamb to his unsure mother. He comforted me with gentle words and tasty treats when I came to him with my childhood woes. He brushed my hair, cooked me meals, and mended my clothes. His stitches may not have been as neat as my grandmother’s but the care and love he put into them were just the same. Unlike a lot of Mongolian men of a certain age, my grandpa never saw domestic chores as beneath him. When I forgot or lost my keys as a kid (which happened quite often in elementary school), he would take the bus all the way across the city to my school to bring me a special “key necklace” he made just for me. My favorite adventures were just to follow him around. And follow him, I did, “helping” with whatever task and chore he had to take care of that day. I carried the case of nails as he repaired the fence, I shone a lamplight as he looked under the tractor’s hood, and the rejected lamb became my best friend. I named him “Patches.”

Mendful is a modern mending studio specializing in visible mending. It is a remembering of the skills of our grandparents and alchemizing them into an offering for this generation and next. The beauty of my grandmother’s embroidery and the resourcefulness of my grandfather. The value of something is only equal to the care we put into them. And we see broken things as worthy of care, repair, and a little bit of tenderness. Please join us in this journey of mending.

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