We tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves to stick with the decisions we make.

Once we’ve committed to a goal, chosen a direction, shared a plan, or said yes to something, changing our mind can feel uncomfortable. We worry that other people will think we’re inconsistent, that we’re giving up, or that we didn’t think things through carefully enough in the first place.

I’ve definitely wrestled with this over the years.

There have been times when I knew something wasn’t working anymore, but I kept going because I had already invested so much time, energy, or emotion into it. Sometimes I didn’t want to disappoint other people. Other times, I just didn’t want to admit that I had changed my mind.

Through all of this, I’ve learned that changing our mind isn’t necessarily a sign that we were wrong. Sometimes it simply means we know something now that we didn’t know before.

We grow. Circumstances change. New information becomes available. Our priorities shift. We have experiences that give us a different perspective on what matters and what we actually want.

It would be strange to expect ourselves to keep making the exact same choices when we’re no longer the exact same people.

This comes up in leadership all the time. We make plans based on the best information we have, and then something changes. The market shifts, a project doesn’t unfold the way we expected, someone on the team offers a perspective we hadn’t considered, or we simply realize the original approach isn’t working.

There can be a temptation in those moments to dig in because we don’t want to appear uncertain. But some of the leaders I respect most are willing to say, “I thought this was the right direction, and based on what we know now, I think we need to do something different.”

That takes humility and courage.

Of course, changing our minds every time something gets difficult isn’t necessarily growth. Some things are worth sticking with, especially when they’re challenging. There’s an important difference between walking away because something is uncomfortable and changing direction because we’ve genuinely learned, grown, or recognized that something is no longer aligned.

Figuring out that difference requires us to be honest with ourselves.

As we move through the second half of the year, this might be a good time to revisit some of the decisions, goals, and expectations we started with. Not to judge ourselves for what hasn’t happened, but to get curious about what we know now.

Is there something you’re continuing to pursue mostly because you said you would?

Is there a decision you’d make differently today based on what you’ve learned?

Is there somewhere in your work or your life where changing your mind might actually be the most honest and courageous thing you could do?

We’re allowed to evolve. We’re allowed to learn new things, reconsider old assumptions, and make different choices when those choices better reflect who we are and what matters to us now.

Changing our mind doesn’t always mean we failed to follow through.

Sometimes it means we’re actually paying close attention.

One of the questions I’ve been asking myself lately is…What does success actually feel like?

For most of my life, I measured success the way many of us do. I focused on goals, accomplishments, and milestones. As a baseball player, it was making the team, winning games and championships, and eventually getting drafted.

Later, as a speaker, it became writing books, getting hired by great clients, growing my business, and reaching professional goals that once felt almost impossible.

I’m incredibly grateful for these experiences. They’ve challenged me, stretched me, and opened doors I never imagined.

But if I’m honest, none of those accomplishments created the lasting feeling I thought they would.

There was always another goal to chase, another opportunity to pursue, another mountain to climb. And while ambition has served me well in many ways, I’ve learned that if we’re not careful, we can spend so much time pursuing success that we never stop to define what it actually means to us.

When I look back on the moments when I’ve felt most successful, they usually aren’t the ones other people would point to.

I think about sitting around the dinner table with Michelle, Samantha, and Rosie, talking and laughing about nothing in particular. I think about a conversation after one of my keynote presentations when someone shares something personal with me or how the conversation touched them. I think about long walks, meaningful conversations with friends, quiet mornings, weekend retreats, and moments when I feel completely present instead of wondering what’s next.

These things don’t usually end up on a résumé. They don’t generate headlines or applause. But they’ve become the experiences I treasure most.

One of the challenges we face is that we’re constantly surrounded by other people’s definitions of success. Social media, our workplaces, and even our own upbringing can subtly convince us that success is about achieving more, earning more, or becoming more. There’s nothing inherently wrong with those pursuits. But they become problematic when we never pause to ask whether they’re actually leading us toward what we truly want.

I’ve worked with leaders who have achieved extraordinary things professionally, yet quietly admit they’re disconnected from the people they love most. I’ve also met people who haven’t reached every goal they once set for themselves, but who have built rich, meaningful lives full of purpose, gratitude, and deep relationships.

This reminds me that success isn’t only about what we accomplish. It’s also about how we experience our lives while we’re moving through the world.

When do you feel most alive? Who are you with? What are you doing?

And if someone looked at your calendar, would they see these things reflected in how you’re spending your time?

The goals matter. Growth matters. Achievement matters.

But I don’t think they’re the destination.

For me, success feels like being connected to the people I love, doing work that has meaning, continuing to learn and grow, and ending the day knowing I was present for the moments that mattered.

That’s the kind of success I’m interested in pursuing.

We’re all in this together.

Summer has a way of changing our perspective.

The days get a little longer. Schedules often loosen up, at least somewhat. Kids are out of school, vacations appear on the calendar, and there can be a different rhythm to life.

And yet, even during a season that’s supposed to invite us to slow down, many of us continue to race ahead. We focus on the next thing we need to accomplish, the next place we need to be, the next milestone we’re chasing. We convince ourselves that we’ll relax once we get through this week, this project, this season.

But lately, I’ve been reminded of something simple.

Some of the most meaningful moments of our lives don’t seem particularly meaningful while they’re happening.

They’re ordinary.

A conversation at the dinner table that goes on longer than expected. A walk through the neighborhood after a long day. Sitting outside with people we love as the sun starts to set. Hearing our kids tell stories about their day. Catching up with an old friend. Drinking our coffee or tea in the quiet before the rest of the house wakes up.

None of these moments are likely to make the highlight reel of our lives. We don’t usually document them or celebrate them. From the outside, they don’t appear especially remarkable.

And yet, when I think about some of my favorite memories, they’re often built from experiences just like these.

Of course, the big moments matter too. I’ve been fortunate to have some extraordinary experiences in my life and career that I’m deeply grateful for. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that life isn’t lived primarily in those peak moments.

It’s lived in the spaces in between.

It’s found in the routines, the conversations, the laughter, the presence we bring to the people around us.

I think part of wisdom is recognizing that we don’t have to wait for life to become extraordinary before we allow ourselves to enjoy it.

This season of your life, whatever it looks like, isn’t simply something to get through on your way to something better. It is your life.

So as you move through this summer, I invite you to slow down enough to notice it.

What ordinary moments might you be rushing past?

What simple parts of your day bring you joy that you’ve started to take for granted?

How can you be a little more present with the people and places that matter most?

You don’t have to create the perfect summer or make unforgettable memories every single day.

Maybe it’s enough to put your phone down for a while. Stay at the table a little longer. Take the walk. Watch the sunset. Say yes to the conversation.

Because one day, there’s a good chance that what feels ordinary right now will be exactly what we miss the most.

And perhaps that’s the real power of an ordinary summer.

Over the years, my work has evolved in many ways.

When I first started speaking and coaching, I was drawing heavily from my experience as an athlete and my own personal journey. As time has gone on, my perspective has deepened through the people I’ve worked with, the challenges I’ve faced, the books I’ve written, the teams I’ve collaborated with, and life itself.

And while many things about my work have evolved over the years, one thing hasn’t changed:

My desire to help people connect more authentically, lead more courageously, and appreciate themselves and others more deeply.

That’s something I’ve been reflecting on lately as we launch my new website.

On one hand, it’s simply a new website. A refreshed look. An updated platform. A place to better organize and share my work, my speaking programs, my podcast, my books, and the resources we’ve created over the years.

But on another level, it feels symbolic of something many of us experience in life and leadership:

The challenge of evolving…without losing yourself.

Because growth doesn’t mean becoming someone completely different.

In fact, some of the healthiest growth happens when we become more fully ourselves. More honest. More aligned. More intentional about how we live, work, and lead.

Sometimes we think evolution means reinvention. That we have to throw everything away and start over.

But in my experience, real growth is often about building on what matters most, not abandoning it.

It’s about asking:

📍 What’s still true for me?

📍 What values continue to guide me?

📍 What do I want to carry forward into this next season?

As leaders, professionals, parents, partners, and human beings, we’re all evolving all the time.

Our roles change. Our priorities shift. We learn. We fail. We grow. We see the world differently than we did five or ten years ago.

And hopefully, if we’re paying attention, we become a little wiser, a little more grounded, and a little more compassionate along the way.

But even as we evolve, there’s often a deeper thread running through our lives, something essential that remains steady underneath it all.

For me, that thread has always been connection.

Helping people feel seen. Helping teams build trust. Creating spaces where people can be real, grow together, and perform at their best.

That mission hasn’t changed. If anything, it’s become even clearer to me over time.

So as we launch this new site, I’m feeling grateful, not just for how my work has evolved, but for the people who’ve been part of the journey along the way.

And it’s made me think about all of us.

Where in your life are you evolving right now?

And how can you continue growing without losing touch with who you truly are?

We’re all in this together.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about service.

Not in a grand or performative way. But in the simple, human ways we show up for one another, at work, at home, and in our communities.

Because here’s what I’ve come to believe: Service doesn’t just impact the people we help. It changes us.

Service shifts our perspective.

When we’re caught up in our own challenges, deadlines, or stress, it’s easy to get stuck in our own world.

But the moment we step outside of ourselves: To help a teammate To support a friend To contribute to something bigger than us

Something shifts.

We gain perspective. We remember what truly matters. We reconnect with a sense of purpose that’s bigger than our to-do list.

Service deepens connection.

Some of the most meaningful moments in my life and my career haven’t come from achievement, they’ve come from contribution.

From being there for someone. From listening when it mattered most.

Service has a way of breaking down barriers. It reminds us that we’re not alone. That we’re connected.

And in a world where so many people feel isolated or overwhelmed, especially these days, this kind of connection is powerful and so needed.

Service shapes how we lead.

In my work with leaders and teams, I’ve seen that the most effective leaders don’t just focus on results, they focus on people.

They ask:

• How can I support my team?

• What do the people around me need right now?

• How can I make a positive difference today?

That’s service.

And it’s not about self-sacrifice or burnout. It’s about intention. It’s about care. It’s about recognizing that leadership is ultimately about impact.

Service doesn’t have to be big to matter.

We sometimes think service has to be something formal or significant. But in reality, it’s often the small things that matter most:

Checking in on someone Offering a genuine “thank you” Giving someone your full attention Helping without being asked

These moments might seem small, but they create trust. They change the culture of a team, a family, a community.

So as you move through your week, ask yourself:

📍 Where can I be of service today?

📍 Who around me could use a little support, encouragement, or attention?

📍 How might showing up for others shift not just them, but me?

Service isn’t just something we do. It’s a way of being.

And when we choose service, consistently, intentionally, we don’t just make a difference in the lives of others.

We become more connected. More grounded. More aligned with what matters.

That’s the real power of service.

We’re all in this together.

If you liked this article, here are a few more:

Your Feelings Matter

You Don’t Need a Title to Lead

You Don’t Have to Reinvent Yourself to Start Fresh

Mike Robbins Newsletter

My whole life has been, and continues to be, influenced by amazing females.

The older I get, the more I realize just how much the women in my life have shaped who I am, not only as a person, but as a leader.

I think about my late mom, who modeled strength, resilience, and passion in ways I probably didn’t fully appreciate until I became an adult. She raised us as a single mom, navigated so many challenges, and encouraged me to go for what I truly wanted in life.

I think about my big sister, Lori, who passed away from cancer in her mid-40s. She taught me so much about life and relationships. She was my first friend and helped me make sense of the world when I was young.

I think about my amazing wife, Michelle, who has been my partner, sounding board, and grounding force through all of life’s ups and downs. She believes in me, inspires me, and loves me and our family in such a beautiful way.

And of course, I think about our daughters, Samantha and Rosie, who continue to teach me every day about courage, authenticity, and what it means to truly listen and grow. Their honesty, curiosity, and insight have such a big influence on me and how I move through the world.

Along the way, I’ve also had the privilege of working with and learning from many incredible women, colleagues, mentors, clients, and leaders, whose wisdom, clarity, and emotional intelligence have deeply impacted my perspective.

When I reflect on the leadership lessons I’ve learned from the women in my life, a few qualities stand out.

Empathy. Collaboration. Inclusion. Kindness. Appreciation. And a deep understanding that relationships matter.

These qualities are sometimes underestimated in traditional leadership models. For a long time, leadership was often associated with control, certainty, confidence, and dominance.

But in my experience, the leaders who create the most trust, the strongest cultures, and the most meaningful impact lead differently.

They listen. They connect. They care.

They understand that leadership isn’t about having power over people, it’s about creating an environment where people can thrive together.

The women who have shaped my life embody these qualities in powerful ways.

They’ve shown me that strength and compassion are not opposites. That honesty and kindness can coexist.

That vulnerability isn’t weakness, it’s one of the greatest sources of connection and trust.

As we recognize Women’s History Month, I find myself reflecting not only on the remarkable women who have shaped history, but also on the ones who shape our lives every day.

If we could increase the representation of women in leadership, in business, government, and beyond, I truly believe the world would change for the better.

Not because women are perfect. None of us are.

But because the qualities so many women bring to leadership are exactly what our organizations and our world need more of right now.

I know there are a lot of good men out there, and I do my best to be one of them.

But I also know that the women in my life have helped me become a better leader, a better partner, a better father, and a better human being.

For that, I’m deeply grateful.

And I’m committed to continuing to listen, learn, and lead in ways that honor the lessons they’ve taught me.

We’re all in this together.

Make Space End Well

You Don’t Need a Title to Lead

What Are You Pretending Not to Know

Mike Robbins Newsletter

The start of a new year brings a lot of energy.

New goals. Big plans. Fresh commitments.

Everywhere we look, there’s messaging about change…how to be better, faster, more productive, more successful.

And while growth and improvement are important, I think we sometimes forget something really simple, and really important:

You don’t have to completely reinvent yourself to begin again.

Fresh starts don’t require a brand-new you.

There’s nothing wrong with setting goals or embracing change. I do it too.

But I’ve seen how easy it is, especially at this time of the year, to fall into the trap of thinking we’re somehow not enough as we are.

That everything needs to be fixed. That we have to hustle, prove, or transform in order to be worthy of a great year.

But the truth is, you can start fresh without abandoning yourself. You can grow without erasing who you’ve been.

Honor the version of you that got you here.

Before you try to become someone “better,” take a moment to acknowledge who you already are.

What you’ve learned. What you’ve navigated through. What you’ve shown up for, especially on the hard days.

You don’t need a total reset.

You might just need a gentle return to the things that matter most:

• Your values

• Your relationships

• Your wellbeing

• Your presence

Growth that’s rooted in self-judgment doesn’t last.

In leadership, and in life, don’t ditch what makes you real.

I see this a lot with leaders: the pressure to become someone more polished, more impressive, more “on.”

But some of the best leaders I know don’t lead through reinvention.

They lead through presence. Through humility. Through trust in themselves and others.

The work isn’t about becoming someone else.

It’s about becoming more of who you already are, on purpose.

So as we roll through this start of this new year, ask yourself:

– What do I want to carry forward, not fix, but build on?

– What parts of me feel most aligned, most alive?

– What would it look like to start fresh from a place of self-trust, not self-criticism?

You don’t need a dramatic reinvention to make this year meaningful.

You just need to come back to yourself, honestly, kindly, and consistently.

The version of you that got here is still worthy of joy, growth, and success. Let’s start from there.

December can feel like a blur.

The pressure to wrap things up, meet deadlines, hit goals, and prep for the year ahead can create a frantic pace, at work and in life.

We race to the finish line, already thinking about January before we’ve had a chance to fully close out the year we’re still in.

But here’s something I’ve learned, through years of working with leaders and teams (and in my own life):

How we end things matters. And yet, most of us don’t end well, we just move on.

Completion isn’t a luxury. It’s part of the process.

We often skip completion because we’re too busy. Or we don’t think it’s necessary. But when we don’t make space to reflect, celebrate, and acknowledge what’s happened, we miss an opportunity for meaning, learning, and momentum.

Just like in a conversation, in a season, or in a relationship… endings shape how we feel going forward.

The same is true for teams. When we take the time to pause, recognize effort, and reflect on the journey, we reinforce trust. We deepen connection. And we create a sense of shared ownership.

Celebration isn’t fluff, it’s fuel.

In high-performing environments, people often gloss over wins and even learnings, and simply move quickly to “what’s next.”

But when we do that, we rob ourselves and our teams of something powerful.

Taking time to say:

• “Remember when we didn’t think we could pull that off?”

• “Look how far we’ve come since January.”

• “Thank you for showing up, especially during the hard moments.”

…those words matter. They energize. They remind people that what they did counts. That they, themselves, are important.

So before you sprint into 2026, ask yourself:

📍 What needs to be acknowledged…successes, struggles, growth?
📍 Who do I need to thank, celebrate, or encourage?
📍 How can I help my team (and myself) complete the year with meaning, not just metrics?

Here’s what you can do:

🔹 Schedule a “completion conversation.”
With your team, your partner, or yourself, carve out time to reflect on the year. What worked? What didn’t? What are you proud of?

🔹 Be specific with both recognition and appreciation.
Generic “great job” messages land flat. Call out real effort, resilience, and growth. People remember details.

🔹 Give people space to breathe.
If possible, lighten the pressure. Let the end of the year be a moment of renewal, not just one more sprint.

You don’t need to throw a party (although you can). You just need to be intentional. Present. Grateful.

When we end well, we carry less baggage into the new year. We start from a place of reflection, not reactivity. And that changes everything.

Let’s slow down enough to honor how far we’ve come, together.

Here are some more resources

• How to Stop Worrying

• How to Forgive Yourself

• The Cost of Not Being Real at Work

• The Importance of Celebrating

• Mike Robbins Linkedin

As we head into the holiday season, I’ve been thinking a lot about gratitude.

It’s a time of year when we’re encouraged, sometimes even expected, to focus on what we’re thankful for. And there’s beauty in that.

Gratitude is powerful. It helps us stay grounded. It brings us back to what matters most. It shifts our attention from what’s lacking to what’s present.

But here’s something else I’ve learned: Gratitude doesn’t cancel out grief. And grief doesn’t make gratitude any less real.

Both can live in the same heart.

This time of year can stir up so much joy, and also so much sadness.

We celebrate. We connect. We reflect on the year.

But we also feel the absences more deeply. The losses. The distance. The memories of years that looked different.

For me, this season always brings up a mix of emotions. I think about the people I’ve lost. The dreams that shifted. The ways life didn’t go according to plan.

And right alongside that, I feel deep appreciation for what I do have, my family, my work, my health, the people I get to impact and be impacted by.

The older I get, the more I realize: Gratitude and grief don’t compete. They complete each other.

In leadership, and in life, we need to make space for both.

So often, especially at work, we push down one to elevate the other. We focus on performance and positivity, and unintentionally leave no room for disappointment or reflection.

But the most human workplaces, the most connected teams, are the ones where people feel safe to bring both the light and the dark…all of who they are.

Where it’s okay to feel thankful and tired. Hopeful and heavy. Where someone can say, “I’m grateful for this team… and I’m also having a really hard time right now.”

As leaders, as teammates, as people, we can hold both. We can model both. And we can invite others to do the same.

So as you move through this season, ask yourself:

What am I truly grateful for right now? What’s heavy on my heart that I haven’t named? How can I honor both and allow others to do the same?

You don’t need to pretend everything is great to be grateful. And you don’t need to hide your gratitude just because you’re grieving something or someone.

Let’s normalize the full range of emotions this time of year can bring. Let’s lead with compassion, for ourselves and for others.

Let’s remember that authenticity isn’t about choosing one feeling over another; it’s about allowing all of them to be true.

Gratitude and grief can coexist. And in that space, there’s room for connection, growth, and real humanity.

We’re all in this together.

Here are some more resources

• What Are You Pretending Not to Know?

• You Don’t Need a Title to Lead

• The Cost of Not Being Real at Work

• Your Energy Speaks Louder Than Your Words

• Mike Robbins Linkedin

One of the hardest questions I’ve ever had to ask myself is this: What am I pretending not to know?

It’s a question that can stop us in your tracks. Because if we’re honest, there’s usually something, big or small, that we already do know deep down, but we don’t want to face it.

Maybe it’s that a relationship isn’t working. Maybe it’s that a team member isn’t a fit. Maybe it’s that we’re burned out, unhappy, or not living in alignment with our values.

Whatever it is, pretending not to know gives us temporary comfort. It allows us to avoid conflict, change, or discomfort. But it also keeps us stuck.

I’ve done this plenty of times myself, personally and professionally. I’ve stayed too long in situations because I didn’t want to deal with the fallout of acknowledging what was true. I told myself I needed more time, more evidence, more certainty. But what I really needed was courage.

Because once we stop pretending, we can start moving forward.

The truth can be inconvenient, but it’s always clarifying. When we finally admit what we already know, we give ourselves the freedom to act with integrity instead of fear.

In my work with leaders and teams, I see this play out all the time. Someone knows a change needs to be made, a conversation that’s overdue, a behavior that’s undermining trust, a direction that isn’t working, but they hesitate. They rationalize. They hope things will get better if they just wait a little longer.

But waiting rarely helps. Honesty does.

Leaders who are willing to face the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable, create environments where trust and accountability can grow. Because when people see you acknowledge reality instead of avoiding it, they feel safe to do the same.

Here’s the thing: pretending not to know doesn’t make the truth go away. It just delays the learning, growth, and healing that can happen once you stop running from it.

So maybe the real leadership challenge isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about having the courage to face the ones you’ve been avoiding.

Ask yourself:

• What am I pretending not to know about my work, my relationships, or myself?

• What’s the truth I already see but haven’t yet said out loud?

• What would change if I stopped pretending and started acting from that truth?

When we face what’s real, we reclaim our power. We can make decisions rooted in authenticity instead of fear. We can repair relationships, course-correct projects, and realign our actions with our values.

It’s rarely easy. But on the other side of that honesty is freedom, the kind that allows us to lead, live, and love with more congruence.

So take a breath. Be brave enough to stop pretending. You already know more than you think you do. And that truth might just be the starting point for your next breakthrough.

Some of the best leaders I know don’t have fancy titles. They’re not executives. They aren’t calling the shots from the top of the org chart.

But they lead with presence. With heart. With integrity. And people follow them, not because they have to, but because they want to.

We often think of leadership as a role: manager, director, VP, CEO. But leadership isn’t a job title. It’s a way of being.

Leadership is about influence, not authority.

I’ve seen interns and admins shift the energy of a room simply by asking a thoughtful question. I’ve seen frontline employees hold entire teams together during tough transitions.

I’ve seen teachers, coaches, parents, and friends guide people in powerful ways, not by demanding attention, but by showing up with consistency and care.

These people don’t wait for permission to lead.

They don’t wait for recognition. They lead by example. They lead by how they treat others.

They lead by being real, being kind, and being willing to speak up when it matters.

You don’t need a promotion to make an impact.

You don’t need a corner office to change a culture. You don’t need to manage people to model what real leadership looks like.

So often, we chase the next thing. The title. The role. The recognition.

There’s nothing wrong with ambition, but here’s what I’ve learned: leadership isn’t about climbing the ladder, it’s about how you show up wherever you are.

Are you someone others can count on?

Do you create space for people to speak and feel heard?

Are you willing to take responsibility even when it’s uncomfortable?

These are the real questions that define leadership.

True leadership shows up in everyday moments. It’s the choice to give credit instead of taking it.

It’s the courage to admit when you’re wrong or make a mistake.

It’s the effort to encourage someone who is struggling.

It’s the awareness to know when to step forward and when to step back so that others can shine.

Think about how this relates to you specifically…

-Where are you already leading, even if you haven’t named it that way?

-Where are you being called to step up, not with power, but with presence?

-What kind of impact do you want to have on the people around you?

We don’t lead by controlling. We lead by connecting.

We don’t lead by having all the answers. We lead by asking better questions.

We don’t lead by perfection. We lead by being real.

We don’t need a title to lead. We just need the willingness to show up, speak up, and care enough to make a difference. That’s what real leadership looks like.

We're all in this together.

Related posts:

Be a Force for Good

Worry Never Works

Want What You Have

Mike Robbins Newsletter

We spend a lot of time at work. In meetings. On calls. In Slack threads and Zoom rooms.

Solving problems. Managing expectations. Trying to perform.

And yet… so many people feel like they can’t fully be themselves in those spaces.

They hide parts of who they are. Fears, frustrations, feelings, because the workplace doesn’t always feel like a place that welcomes honesty, vulnerability, or emotion.

But here’s the thing:

The cost of not being real at work is high.

When people feel like they have to put on a mask every day, it creates:

🔹 Disconnection

🔹 Exhaustion

🔹 Mistrust

🔹 Missed opportunities for real collaboration

I’ve seen it time and again… when people don’t feel safe to show up authentically, they hold back.

Their ideas. Their feedback. Their full energy.

And that doesn’t just impact individuals. It impacts teams. It impacts culture. It impacts results.

Why do we hide?

Because we’ve been conditioned to believe that “professional” means “perfect.”

That vulnerability = weakness.

That being real will somehow backfire.

But here’s what I’ve learned… through my own experience and in working with thousands of leaders and teams over the years:

Authenticity isn’t risky. It’s essential.

It’s the foundation of trust.

Authenticity can turn a group of talented individuals into a real team.

It’s what allows people to truly connect, innovate, and thrive.

What being real actually looks like

Authenticity doesn’t mean oversharing or turning every meeting into a therapy session.

It means:

🔹 Telling the truth (with care)

🔹 Asking for help when you need it

🔹 Giving honest feedback

🔹 Acknowledging when you’re struggling

🔹 Being willing to listen, to really listen, when someone else needs support

So, ask yourself:

Where in your work life are you holding back part of who you really are?

Where might your team benefit from more openness, more honesty, more you?

Here’s what helps:

Model it. Let people see your humanity. Not all the time. But enough to show it’s safe to be real.

Name it. Sometimes the most powerful leadership move is saying, “This is hard” or “I don’t have the answer.”

Protect it. Create and protect spaces where people can speak up, show up, and be themselves without fear of retribution.

You don’t need to be perfect to be powerful. And you don’t have to choose between being real and being respected.

The most impactful leaders I’ve met weren’t always the smartest or most polished… They were the most genuine.

Let’s stop pretending.

Let’s lead with honesty, humility, and heart. Because that’s what real trust is built on.

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What We CAN Change

Mike Robbins Newsletter

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about presence.

Not presence as in “being in the room,” but presence as in how we show up.

Our energy. Our tone. Our intention.

Because here’s the truth:

People might hear what you say…

…but they feel who you are.

We’re always communicating, even when we’re not talking.

You can tell when someone’s distracted, even if they’re smiling. You can feel when someone’s tense, even if they’re saying all the right things. You know when someone’s heart is in it… and when it’s not.

Words matter, of course. But our energy often speaks louder than anything we say.

Leadership isn’t just about what you do or say. It’s about how you make people feel.

Over the past 25 years working with leaders and teams, I’ve seen it time and again:

🔹 A leader who walks into a meeting with calm focus can shift the entire dynamic, without saying a word.

🔹 A teammate who listens with genuine curiosity can make someone feel valued, even if they don’t offer advice.

🔹 And on the flip side… a person who shows up rushed, reactive, or half-present, even with good intentions, can unintentionally create stress and disconnection.

Energy is contagious. So what are you spreading?

In high-pressure environments, it’s easy to fall into auto-pilot.

Get the work done. Say the thing. Hit the next target.

But when we lose track of how we’re showing up, we risk creating unintended friction with the people around us.

Our energy can build trust… or chip away at it.

Here’s what helps:

🔹 Check in with yourself first. Before walking into a room (or logging onto Zoom or Teams), ask: “What am I bringing into this space?”

🔹 Lead with intention, not just information. You don’t need a script, just clarity about what matters: connection, care, collaboration.

🔹 Don’t underestimate your presence. Even a few minutes of grounded presence can shift a meeting, a conversation, and a team dynamic.

Think about the leaders, coaches, or mentors who made the biggest impact on you. Chances are, it wasn’t just what they said. It was how they made you feel… safe, seen, supported, challenged.

That’s what people remember. That’s what builds trust.

So as you move through your day…Pause. Breathe. Ground yourself.

And remember, your energy is always speaking. What message do you want it to send?

Share your thoughts, ideas, and questions in the comments below.

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Mike Robbins Newsletter

As leaders, we’re often taught, explicitly or implicitly, that we’re supposed to know things.

Know the strategy.
Know the numbers.
Know how to fix what’s broken.
Know what to say when someone’s struggling.

But here’s the thing I’ve learned (and continue to re-learn):

Leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about being willing to ask better questions.

The pressure to “know” is real

In high-performing environments, whether it’s sports, business, or anything else, there’s often an unspoken expectation that certainty equals credibility.

That confidence equals competence. That not knowing means you’re not ready, or not good enough.

But in my experience, some of the most powerful leadership moments come not when we provide answers…

…but when we pause long enough to ask a meaningful question.

Curiosity creates connection

When we lead with questions, especially ones rooted in curiosity, humility, and care, we create space:

🔹 For others to feel seen and heard
🔹 For unexpected insights to emerge
🔹 For trust to deepen

It’s in these moments that relationships and teams grow stronger, problems get solved collaboratively, and people feel safe to speak up and contribute.

What kinds of questions matter?

The ones that open, not close. That invite, not assume. That create dialogue, not dominance.

A few that I love:

• “What’s your perspective on this?”

• “Is there anything I’m not seeing?”

• “What do you need most right now?”

• “How can I support you?”

• “What’s getting in the way?”

Questions like these don’t just provide information, they show people that we trust them, value them, and want to understand.

Are you leading with questions, or pressure to perform?

In your leadership, your relationships, your life…

Where might you be carrying the burden of needing to know or fix, when what’s really needed is to ask and listen?

Here’s what helps:

🔹 Trade answers for curiosity. Not knowing isn’t a weakness. It’s often where the best insights begin.

🔹 Resist the urge to solve right away. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is, “Tell me more.”

🔹 Remember: people don’t need perfect. They need presence. You don’t have to be the smartest person in the room, just the most open one.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to care enough to be curious.

This is where trust is built. This is where teams come alive. This is where real leadership begins.

Remember…we’re all in this together.

What can you do to stop yourself from automatically giving advice and challenging yourself to ask different questions? Share your thoughts, ideas, and questions in the comments below.

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Appreciating People: Focus on Who They Are

Mike Robbins Newsletter

We all have things we’re afraid to address. I call these “sweaty-palmed conversations.”

They usually involve tough feedback, uncomfortable truths, boundaries to be set, disappointments we need to voice, conflicts we’re avoiding, elephants in the room to acknowledge, and more.

And yet… so many of us put these discussions off.

We tell ourselves, “Now’s not the right time.” “I don’t want to hurt their feelings.” “Maybe it’ll work itself out.” “They won’t take this well.”

But here’s what I’ve learned, through years of working with leaders, teams, and in my own life…

Avoiding the hard conversations doesn’t make them go away. It just makes them harder when they finally happen.

Why do we avoid them?

Because we care. Because we don’t want to damage relationships. Because we’re scared that we’ll get it wrong.

But what if we reframed these sweaty-palmed conversations, not as threats to connection, but as investments in the people that matter most to us?

Kindness isn’t always comfortable.

We tend to think of kindness as being nice. Agreeable. Easy to be around.

But real kindness, that truly builds trust, isn’t always soft or easy.
It’s honest. It’s direct. It’s respectful, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Hard conversations, when done with care, are one of the deepest forms of respect we can offer another person.

When we have the courage to have a sweaty-palmed conversation with someone, we’re essentially saying to them…

“You matter enough to me that I’m willing to be uncomfortable so we can move forward together.”

In your team, your leadership, your life...

Are there conversations you’ve been avoiding?

• A colleague whose behavior is quietly eroding trust
  
  

• A friend who crossed a line
  
  

• A team member who needs clarity, coaching, and/or feedback
  
  

• Or even… yourself, when something isn’t working
  
  

Ask yourself:

What would change if I saw this conversation as an act of service, not a confrontation?

What if I trusted that honesty and compassion could co-exist?

Here's what helps:

Lead with curiosity, not certainty.
Instead of launching into correction, start with “Can I share something I’ve noticed?” or “I’d love to understand more about…”

Speak from your experience, not their intent.
Use “I” statements, “I felt disappointed when…” vs. “You never support me.”

Stay rooted in care.
If your goal is connection, growth, or clarity, say so. Let them know you’re not here to attack, but to build.

Hard conversations take courage. But they’re also a path to deeper trust, authentic relationships, and stronger teams.

You don’t have to be perfect at having sweaty-palmed conversations, you just must be willing to show up, with clarity, compassion, and a little bravery.

Remember…we’re all in this together.

What makes it challenging for you to have hard conversations? What works for you in having these discussions? Share your thoughts, ideas, and questions in the comments below.

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Are You Avoiding a Difficult Conversation?

When it comes to high-performing teams, authentic leadership, and strong relationships, trust isn’t a nice-to-have…it’s the foundation.

But here’s something I’ve learned after more than two decades of working with leaders and teams around the world: Trust isn’t built all at once, it’s built in small amounts, over time.

We sometimes think trust comes from a grand gesture, a big reveal of vulnerability, or a team retreat. While these moments can be meaningful, the truth is that trust is built (and broken) in the day-to-day interactions we have with the people around us.

It’s built in how we show up in meetings and how we keep our word. It’s built when we listen, really listen. And it's built when we say the hard thing, with care and compassion.

The Myth of the “Trust Fall”

In my early days of speaking, I used to joke about the old-school team-building exercise, the classic “trust fall.” You know, where you fall backwards and hope someone catches you?

It’s a fun metaphor, but real trust doesn’t happen in one dramatic moment. Authentic trust is more like compound interest. Small deposits made consistently that grow over time into something powerful.

So, how do we make these trust deposits?

Here are a few everyday ways to build trust in our teams and relationships:

1. Do What You Say You’ll Do

This might sound simple, but consistency builds trust. When we follow through on commitments (big or small) we reinforce that others can count on us.

2. Own Your Mistakes

Nobody’s perfect. In fact, pretending to be can erode trust. When we take responsibility for our missteps, we show others that we’re accountable; and human. We also remind ourselves and others that vulnerability is actually a strength.

3. Give Others the Benefit of the Doubt

It’s easy to assume negative intent when things go sideways. But assuming positive intent, even when we’re frustrated, keeps the lines of communication open and invites mutual understanding.

4. Operate With Empathy

Trust grows when people feel seen, heard, and valued. Whether it’s a team member struggling through a tough season or a colleague celebrating a win, taking a moment to recognize what’s going on for them matters.

5. Speak Up, Even When It’s Hard

Authenticity fuels trust. That means being willing to say the uncomfortable thing, not to tear someone down, but to build the relationship up. Real connection happens when we’re honest and kind. The foundation of trusting relationships and teams is often the willingness to have those sweaty-palmed conversations, even when they might seem scary.

Trust Is a Daily Practice

Think about the relationships in your life you trust the most. Your closest friend, your most supportive colleague, your partner. Chances are, the trust you have with those important people wasn’t built in a single moment. It was built over coffee chats, honest check-ins, follow-through, and forgiveness.

The same is true for teams, organizations, and leaders. Trust is built in the small, meaningful moments…day by day, choice by choice.

And in a world that often feels uncertain and disconnected, trust remains one of the most powerful currencies we have.

Have you experienced a time when a small moment made a big impact on your trust in someone else? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

It goes without saying that we’re living in some pretty crazy times right now. There’s a lot going on in the world around us, and that’s on top of all the important events taking place within our own personal and professional lives.

With all that’s happening, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. You might feel scared, angry, sad, lonely, and more. You may also feel grateful, excited, curious, and inspired as well. Being aware of how we feel is important to our mental, emotional, and physical health, as well as to our relationships to those we live with and work with.

Honoring our emotions isn’t about being self-absorbed – it’s about being true to ourselves. When we’re honest about how we feel, and when we engage in authentic conversations with other people, we build the kind of true, authentic relationships capable of seeing us through the ups and downs of life.

What does it mean to be real about how you feel?

Personally, I’ve asked myself this question many times. However, I find that it can be hard, especially at certain times and some situations, to honor my emotions and share how I really feel with others.

Some of the concerns that can get in our way when being real about how we feel are…

• What if people don’t like or approve of me?

• What if people think I’m being selfish?

• What if people think I’m being overly emotional?

• What if I’m not good enough?

• What if I’m not important enough?

• What if I feel uncomfortable or make others feel uncomfortable?

• What if me expressing this feeling seems awkward or inappropriate?

• What if people make fun of me for feeling or saying what’s true for me?

Even though we may know better, these negative thoughts (and many others) tend to get in the way of us expressing how we really feel.

Unfortunately, when we don’t honor our feelings, we disconnect from ourselves in a damaging way. We also create separation between us and other people – those we live with, work with, and who are most important to us. If they don’t know how we really feel, how can they truly connect with and support us?

5 ways to be real about how you feel

Here are some practical ways to counteract the blocks that may get in your way and, ultimately, empower you to share how you really feel.

#1 – Be real with yourself

It all starts with yourself. When you’re willing to be real about what you want and how you feel, you open yourself up to authenticity – both with yourself and others.

Make a practice of getting in touch with your true feelings. Even if you’re unclear about a specific situation, or if a particular emotion is scary, try to sit with it for a while and just feel it. Journaling is a great way to practice being honest with ourselves, since it gives us a chance to express ourselves without the fear of judgment.

#2 – Stop judging yourself

Speaking of judgment – it’s one of the biggest things that can get in the way, especially when it comes to feeling our real emotions. I shouldn’t feel this way, you might say to yourself. If I share this, they’ll think I’m a terrible person.

These self-critical thoughts encourage us to suppress how we really feel. Unfortunately, this can take a toll on us and others. Try to be real and honor your truth without judgement.

#3 – Give yourself permission to feel

Most of us operate with a hierarchy of emotions: we’re happy to feel the “good” ones (love, joy, gratitude, peace) but don’t usually like the “bad” ones (anger, fear, hurt, sadness, powerlessness, etc).

However, it’s important to remember that all human emotions have value – and they can benefit us if we’re willing to feel them in an authentic way. When we give ourselves permission to feel what we’re actually feeling, without judgment or resistance, we’re able to honor and move through our emotions in a way that can liberate us.

#4 – Let go of your “story”

Most of us are attached to a certain “story,” especially when it comes to our emotions. It’s easy to get sucked into all the drama. While our life story is important, unfortunately, obsessing over the details of a particular story can block us from genuinely feeling our emotions.

Work on feeling your emotions authentically. Don’t just talk about them, or rationalize them, or explain them away – really feel them. Honest expression is one of the best ways to move through any emotion. As my counselor, Eleanor, often says to me, “Feel the feeling…drop the story.”

#5 – Get emotional support

Unfortunately, most of us have not received a lot of emotional training in our lives. We tend to lack the built-in, healthy emotional support mechanisms needed to get through our day-to-day lives, especially given the intensity of the world these days. Instead, we often focus on appearances, actions, and results – all of which can keep us from feeling our real emotions.

There are people and resources around you that you can tap into for emotional support. Look for and find ways to get the type of assistance you want and deserve.

Make a commitment to being real

By authentically honoring, feeling, and expressing our emotions, we gain the power to enhance our well-being, eliminate unnecessary suffering, resolve conflicts, and build deeper connections with those around us.

While we’re all beautifully unique as individuals, we all universally experience the full range of emotions as human beings. Remembering this and having the courage to be real about how we truly feel reminds us that we’re all in this thing called life together.

What can you do to be real about how you feel these days? What specific emotional support could you use right now? Share your thoughts, feelings, opinions, and experiences in the comments section below.

Today’s world is full of uncertainty. Amidst the chaos and confusion, it’s easy to feel scared, angry, sad, and more. But how can we address these complicated feelings? How can we support ourselves—as well as the people around us—through times of change?

If you’re looking to inspire and uplift others, it’s important to lead with compassion. Not only does this practice help us get through the day-to-day, but it also fosters a culture of engagement and success that’s beneficial to everyone.

What is leading with compassion?

Before we look into why it matters, it’s important to understand what exactly we mean when we talk about leading with compassion.

As I mention in my book We’re All in This Together, I’ve heard people describe compassion as “empathy in action.” While empathy is about understanding the emotions of others, compassion takes it a step further by actively contributing to other people’s well-being.

When we lead with compassion, we make a deliberate choice to demonstrate our care for other people in a specific and overt way. And, according to Professor Chris Kukk, Dean of the Cormier Honors College at Longwood University in Farmville, VA, choosing to lead with compassion can lead to something pretty incredible.

Through his research, Dr. Kukk, a professor of political and social science, found that compassion helps build resilience, improve physical health, and motivate both teams and individuals towards more successful outcomes. When teams created a culture of compassion, he concluded that their members were more likely to be engaged, innovative, and collaborative, encouraging everyone involved to perform at their best.

As Dr. Kukk explains in an interview with Psychology Today, “Success is often associated with the individualistic idea of only looking out for number one. However, even Darwin suggested that the most efficient and effective species have the highest number of sympathetic members.”

Leading with compassion: a real-world example

So, what does it look like to lead with compassion?

To learn more about this, I spoke to Scott Shute, the former VP of global customer operations at LinkedIn. For more than six years, he led an organization of more than 1,000 people, inspiring him to take on a new role as the company’s head of mindfulness and compassion programs.

As Scott explained on my podcast, he and his team implemented a wide array of programs to support the people at LinkedIn. Many of these initiatives focused on expanding people’s skills and awareness, and they were widely successful.

“One of the biggest skills needed to achieve our vision at LinkedIn was compassion,” Scott said. “We believe that compassion is not just a better way to live, it’s a better way to build a team and grow a business that is successful, sustainable, and has a positive impact in the world.”

3 tips for leading with compassion

Compassion, like kindness, is something we can cultivate, nurture, and practice. It’s an active choice to consciously and authentically take a friendly, supportive, and considerate approach toward the people in our lives.

According to a study conducted by the American Psychological Association, people who were treated kindly at work repaid those efforts by being 278 percent more generous towards their coworkers.

Essentially, kindness is contagious. The more compassionate we are with our team members, the more likely they are to be that way with us and everyone else around us. Backed by a consistent and deliberate practice of compassion, we’re able to build a kind and caring culture that allows us all to achieve our best results.

Here are a few ways to start cultivating compassion in your life:

#1 – Check in with people

Simply ask people how they’re doing, and give them the space to answer honestly and openly. Showing your interest in other people and their overall well-being is one of the best ways to let them know you care. This is the embodiment of leading with compassion and kindness.

#2 – Listen—really listen

Most people want to be seen and heard. That’s why it’s so important that to listen to them with empathy, and hold back our thoughts and opinions. Give people the space they need to get it all off their chest. Don’t bombard them with advice unless it’s something they specifically ask for.

#3 – Share your feelings with vulnerability

Vulnerability is courageous and liberating. It allows us to connect authentically with those around us in a genuine way. Best of all, it encourages people to share openly and build real trust. When we open up to other people in a vulnerable way, we encourage them to feel safe doing the same with us.

The Bottom Line

Leading with compassion makes a big difference when it comes to building deeper connections with others. Whether you’re looking to build strong bonds with friends and family or boost your relationships at work, the more compassion you lead with, the more effective, positive, and meaningful your interactions will be. And with all the stress, fear, and chaos in the world right now, we could all use more compassion.

How do you lead with compassion? What does compassion mean to you? Share your thoughts, feelings, opinions, and experiences in the comments section below.

Maybe you feel it at work. Maybe it happens when you’re with your friends and family. Maybe it strikes when you log into social media or show up to a class reunion. It’s that nagging feeling, that annoying voice in the back of your head—and it’s telling you that the only way to succeed in life is to look good to others.

Unfortunately, many of us spend a lot of time trying to impress the people around us. While this makes sense and is a natural tendency, it can be quite harmful in many ways and often keeps us from doing, saying, and being who we truly want to be.

Be Yourself

I’ve also wasted a lot of time and energy throughout my life trying to impress people.

Whether it was at school, in an office, or participating on a sports team, I found myself in many situations where my performance was up for evaluation. It’s also carried into my work speaking, writing, coaching, podcasting, and more.

Trying to manage, control, and, ultimately, manipulate other people’s perceptions of us isn’t just exhausting—it’s also pretty much impossible. I’m reminded of the title of a book by Terry Cole-Whittaker called What You Think About Me is None of My Business. Isn’t that such a great reminder for all of us?

We can save ourselves from a lot of unnecessary stress and anguish when we stop trying to impress others and start focusing on honoring ourselves. In other words, being true to ourselves, feeling good about who we are, and showing up in the most authentic way possible are all things that give us real power—not trying to be someone we aren’t or trying to be validated by the opinions of others.

As the wise sage Dr. Seuss said, “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” So true!

Acknowledge Yourself

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to perform well and receive positive feedback for our work. However, when we focus on impressing people, we give away our power and set ourselves up for unnecessary stress, worry, and fear.

It’s important to recognize that validation from other people isn’t what proves our worth—instead, we can turn within and focus on genuinely acknowledging ourselves. When we’re willing to appreciate who we are, we can truly be free and tap into our innate power.

Do you struggle with being a people-pleaser? Are there times when you’ve caused unnecessary stress trying to impress other people? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Do you appreciate the holidays?

I’ll admit it—for me, appreciating this time of year is a whole lot easier said than done. In fact, if I’m being honest, I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with the holidays. On one hand, I love the parties, decorations, rituals, and gifts. On the other hand, I can get overwhelmed by the stress, drama, and obligations of it all.

Can you relate? Do you also worry that you’re not doing enough? That you’re behind on your to-do list? That you won’t get everything done in time, or that you won’t be able to make things right for the people you love the most?

This year I’m focused on appreciating the holiday season for what it is—regardless of the circumstances that remain out of my control.

Here are some things we can do to keep things in perspective and appreciate this time of year

1. Take Responsibility

The holiday season can be chaotic. It’s no wonder that so many of us blame the season for the stress we feel, rather than examining its real source—ourselves.

We’re the creators of our own experiences, regardless of the time of year or what’s going on around us. The more we remember this, the more we empower ourselves to take control of our circumstances. This year, make a conscious effort to enjoy the whole experience of the holidays without lumping additional pressure on yourself.

2. Choose How You Engage

Not only do we have the power to create our own experiences, but we also have a choice in the way we show up.

As the holidays approach, you may be feeling a bit anxious about spending time with certain people or showing up to certain events. Remember that you have a choice in how you engage with these people and situations. You can choose to be cranky, annoyed, or upset—or you can decide to enjoy the fun and not take things personally instead.

3. Center Your Appreciation

Even with the stress, obligation, and more, this time of year can give us the opportunity to get together with people we love and care about.

Let’s make a conscious choice to focus on what—and who—we truly appreciate. Work on telling the truth about how you really feel. If possible, don’t show up to events you don’t want to attend, and don’t surround yourself with people out of a sense of duty. If that’s not in the cards, don’t stress. Instead, make a commitment to appreciate the good and take in all the blessings in your life.

Have A Happy Holiday Season

This holiday season, let’s try to take a step back. Regardless of what kind of year you’ve had, take some time to pat yourself on the back. Celebrate your accomplishments, and learn from your mistakes. Then, take a look at what’s around you. Really experience the gratitude you have for the people in your life. If not now, when?

Make the choice to enjoy these next few weeks and have a truly happy holiday.

What can you do to appreciate and enjoy this holiday season as best as possible? Share your thoughts, feelings, and ideas in the comments.