Moore Nourishing Life with Monica Moore

I Don’t Know How To Exist Here

Monica Moore — Mon, 31 Aug 2026 19:01:43 GMT

Sometimes this is how I feel.

In the grand scheme of things, it is usually fleeting, fed by loss, grief, longing and the old narratives that swirl around in my head.

Nonetheless it occurs.

Bereft is an indiscriminate presence.

It shows up in the life that we chose or the one that was chosen for us.

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In unfamiliar in between spaces, bereft is an old intimate friend that I have learned to tango with.

Coming uninvited when there is a chink in the armour, it’s a longing that touches the deepest parts of us - the parts so vulnerable and tender.

At times like a heavy fog stealthily blanketing everything, I know it simply needs to settle in for a bit, extending its tendrils into all the nooks and crannies, asserting itself.

Foreboding, breathtaking and contracting.

It’s not the greatest of places, but I know you know because you probably have been here too.

When one becomes accustomed to the body’s echoes, we learn to wait patiently for the reverberations of this irreverent visitor to quieten down, and for the veil of fog to lift.

Its cleaving can make patience tough to find.

But perhaps it’s a sign to bunker down, get quiet and listen to the thing that needs to be heard, and to the part of us that wishes things were different.

One pulls us backwards. The other asks us to move forward.

It’s in these spaces we get ragged and anxious.

The lawn of our mental real estate is littered with a mess of discarded pictures of the past, and of future unrealised visions.

We replay old conversations, and revisit old decisions, when the life that we planned out did not pan out.

The mind becomes a collector of evidence for stories woven with fear, grief and regret - the last often used as a vehicle for guilt and shame rather than a catalyst for change.

But despite the uncertainty that shakes our foundations, there is often a seed of great joy in not having the life we imagined.

Because there are reasons we either needed or wanted an extraction from the life we were in.

There is purpose in embracing both the 20 year old version of us and the emerging Midlifer who is magnificent in all her wisdom. Our brain creates rationales as to why we tend to hold onto the past as the better option.

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar”

Thich Nhat Hanh

The mind is very good at taking an uncomfortable feeling and turning it into a full-blown narrative.

And those narratives often begin with … what if?

What if I had ..
What if I hadn’t…
What if this is as good as it gets?
What if I never…

It’s interesting that our default preference is to embrace the anxiety laden ‘what if’.

We could just take the upward “what if” spiral … Imagine that!

Or a more useful question to ask might be:

“What else could be true?”

This opens the door to bypass the one grim story we are fertilising.

As we look outside of ourselves, we wrangle in our heart things we cannot solve.

We might watch others move on in the version of our once-desired dreams, lament the fragility of life or mourn a younger version of who we are.

The fragments of who we are scatter and we inhabit the architecture of what remains.

In this in between space, why would we know exactly how to exist?

Within the context of all of this, something else resides.

An I don’t know.

And maybe that’s okay.

Because we’ve never been in this place before. We’ve never been this ‘me’ before.

Perhaps that’s the bit we forget.

We think we’re supposed to know.

Know who we are.
Know what we want
Know what’s next
Know how to make sense of it all.

Maybe I don’t know how to exist here, because I have never been here before.

I’ve never been this age.

I’ve never carried this particular combination of loves, losses, wisdoms, mistakes, freedoms and uncertainties.

So why would I know how to exist here?

An Orchestra = An Instrument of Hope

Monica Moore — Sat, 15 Aug 2026 19:00:20 GMT

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It was suggested to me once that orchestras were a great source of hope. They comprised of many individuals, an assortment of instruments, holding a cacophony of sounds & moving parts, & if all these things can be pulled together to make a cohesive, beautiful sound then there is hope for anything in the world.

I have thought about this alot.

Like any well constructed piece of music there is a flow -

There are high notes, low notes, The ones that dance across the page notes. Dramatic notes, Whispering notes, and the all important suspension of notes.

And like a piece of music, life has its rhythms.

I am a routine person - I like a bit of order. It gives me stability. I am not always in the same spot. I travel, I stay with friends, so I have other peoples routines to consider.

How to remain in the flow when life does not flow in the same direction all the time? How do we cope with random?

We are all like different pieces of music. Sometimes we are jazz, sometimes rock, sometimes it’s the languid sounds of a cowboy ballad or maybe melancholic tunes weave their thread of sadness deep into our bones.

When we recognise what ‘piece‘ we are at any given time, we can conduct ourselves accordingly.

My normal routine consist of me getting up before dawn ( please don’t hate me - I’m a morning person!), I meditate, walk, do some yoga, drink my brew - my world starts the day with consistency & structure & checking in with how my inner landscape is, then I can get on with my day. And yet sometimes that routine completely shatters.

Stepping out of our ‘normal’ to embrace ‘other’ makes us more receptive, less angsty & rigid with everything. Finding, and importantly allowing different rhythms & tempos keeps us harmonised.

Musical notes aren’t random - can you imagine going to listen to an orchestra where every musician did what they wanted? It would be a chaotic mess to our ears. For ourselves, keeping grounded despite changes in tempo requires us to have a steadiness that comes with a certain regularity, then adjusting to the flow of different rhythms as they come along - a bit like verses & choruses or learning to dance to the beat of the proverbial different drum.

I was away recently.

I woke when I woke, which was, early, but instead of up and out, I went and made tea.

I got back into bed.

I wrote, I listened to the world wake up.

I watched the sunrise from my bed,

I ate breakfast while I read my book,

I went for a swim.

I sat on a rock and watched the sea which, is its own form of meditation.

And do you know what? I survived. Yes, it was somewhat of a surprise to me too, that not being in my ‘normal’ routine did not ruin my day.

We sometimes get stuck in our routines because they keep us safe & grounded- we find comfort in the familiar. And in a very unpredictable world sometimes it is what we need.

But can we find that same sense of stability when a shift - either conscious or unconscious happens? Or do we lose our sense of place in the world?

Hope is a born function of struggle. People with increased hopefulness have experienced, have understood, and embraced struggle. Hopelessness is a dire consequence of many things & not perceiving alternatives is one.

Maybe listening & appreciating an orchestra does give us hope. Many moving parts & individual components coming together, literally becomes music to our ears and our hearts.

Sometimes, in life, we might need to sit in the transitions, like the suspension of notes in a piece of music - a place of anticipation of what’s coming next - where the hope of good things to come can emanate & make sweet melodies with all the different pieces of our life.

Have a great week

Thanks, as always, for being here.

Mon x

Because it is still Winter in the Southern Hemisphere, here is my fabulous chicken soup to nourish every cell in your body. Northern Hemisphere peeps, tuck this one away for the Fall.

Immune Boosting, Life Giving Chicken Soup ( I kid you not)

10 cloves garlic, smashed ( about 1 bulb)
2 tblspn grated ginger
1 tblspn fresh grated turmeric
1 litre chicken or vege stock
1 litre water
500 g chicken thighs or breast, cut into chunks
2 bunches coriander, chopped
¼ cup mirin or rice wine - optional
3 tablespoons tamari soy sauce

Combine the garlic, turmeric, ginger, stock, water and chicken into a large pot

Simmer for 5 – 10 minutes over a low heat until chicken is cooked through

Add mirin, tamari and coriander just before serving.

Top photo Credit: Photo by Oană Andrei

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the Genius of AND

Monica Moore — Wed, 12 Aug 2026 07:01:54 GMT

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Last week, I wrote about The Tyranny of the OR — our tendency to want life to be one thing or another, when in reality, it so often hands us both.

Joy and grief.
Strength and vulnerability.
Freedom and responsibility.

If you missed it, you can read it here

But recognising paradox is only the beginning.

Working with what life gives us is where it’s at.

In Part 1, I talked about us being the mediator — the conductor of our own lives.

The conductor doesn’t allow every instrument to play at once. They listen, adjust, bring things forward, soften others, change the tempo and respond to what is happening.

That, I think, is a pretty good metaphor for being human.

The real question is:

How do we actually work with the AND in real life?

Move and Rest
Strength and Softness
Certainty and Curiosity
Nourish and Indulge
Boundaries and Openness
Good Enough and Ambitious
Fear and Courage
Giving and Taking
Independence and Belonging
Systems and Motivation

How do we encompass all parts of everything? Because the AND isn’t about doing both things equally - that’s impossible.

We learn to discern what is required now.

We don’t need equal amounts of:

Move AND Rest. Sometimes the AND means move today, rest tomorrow.

Good Enough AND Ambitious doesn’t mean abandoning ambition. It means knowing when “good enough” is the wise choice and when ambition deserves your energy.

Boundaries AND Openness doesn’t mean being simultaneously completely open and completely armored up.

Coming to a place where we accept that playing with both makes us less rigid, more flexible and more able to flow with uncertainty.

And this is where the idea becomes particularly relevant to the work I do around rethinking and creating meaningful shifts. I find that two things are almost always required:

A little note before we go on…

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For the cost of one fancy coffee a month, your support helps keep these deep dives going, exploring what it really means to be human — together.

If you are part of our Skool Community, you will receive the full version as part of your subscription.

Now, back to the AND & the 2 things required for change…

The Tyranny of the "OR"

Monica Moore — Mon, 03 Aug 2026 18:51:21 GMT

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It feels like we are in the boxing ring sometimes—Us vs. LIFE—and the rounds just keep coming.

This world can be a lot. A lot of good stuff, sure, but how do we fit all the fun and joy in while still giving space to the things that demand a different sort of attention?

‘How to be Human’ is the keystone of my work.

The dichotomy of living this life is one of its most fundamental realities. Nothing is binary. It is neither one nor the other. Everything is this and that, not this or that.

We spend so much of our lives negotiating with this reality while being in society and being in the world—demanding certainty when there is a broader, richer narrative on offer.

One of my favourite thought leaders and business consultants, Jim Collins, uses a deceptively simple phrase that maps perfectly onto ordinary human life: The Tyranny of the “OR” vs. The Genius of the “AND.”

Collins noticed that great companies are secure enough to sit in the complexity of holding opposing ideas at the same time—discipline and creativity, stability and change, profit and purpose.

The same is true for people.

The tyranny of the OR keeps us stuck - binary thinking is often just a fear response to the unknown.

The genius of the AND is simply ancient wisdom finding a modern voice. Long before business books gave it a name, philosophers, contemplatives and spiritual traditions understood that life is lived in paradox, not certainty.

We want, actually yearn for, the more agreeable - joy over grief, strength over vulnerability, freedom over responsibility.

But a life in reality rarely offers an over … or an “or”. It demands that we hold an “and”. This is a paradox to manage, not a problem to solve.

The actuality is in holding the awareness of each polarity.

The work isn’t choosing one side; it’s learning to live between them.

During my yoga training, we spend a lot of time exploring polarities. The universe is built on opposing forces—up/down, front/back, left/right, heating/cooling, effort/ease, expansion/contraction, and stability/movement.

We need each at different times, not both at the same exact moment, and cannot simply pick a side and stick with it forever. In any dialogue of opposites, a third element is needed to mediate them and find balance.

We are the mediator, or the conductor. Our job is to actively adjust, modulate, and interweave these opposing forces to find a stable centre - because we are the centre of our own lives.

Life isn’t interested in our negotiations. It keeps handing us an AND. Maybe that’s what being a fully integrated human asks of us.

In his conversation with Anderson Cooper, Robert Irwin shared that once he allowed himself to fully grieve his father, he felt closer to him, not further away. Strength and vulnerability need each other. We are neither tough or soft. We are both.

People who navigate hard times best are the ones who allow both—they cry, and they get up. Maybe not immediately, but over time.

Strength that can’t soften isn’t strength; it’s armour.

We can miss someone so fiercely it aches, but in time, we smile at the memories. We can mourn a season of life and be curious about what’s next (I’m talking to you, Midlifers).

To hold both love and loss, we must allow ourselves to be heartbroken and hopeful.

‘OR’ asks us to choose the more acceptable emotion—or the one we feel safest with. ‘AND’ forces us to sit in the actual, overall truth.

Once you begin looking for the AND, it becomes evident everywhere. It starts appearing everywhere—in our relationships, our health, our work, our parenting, our grief, our ambitions, even in the conversations we have with ourselves.

Next week I will move from philosophy to practice.

“So what do we do with this?” Is always the question I want to help you answer.

We’ll explore some of the everyday paradoxes we all carry - and, more importantly, how we learn to work with these tensions instead of constantly trying to resolve them.

Because the goal isn’t to eliminate the contradiction.

It’s to become skilful enough to hold it.

All of our emotions want their place in us. They need to. To deny them is to invite a tsunami of overwhelm and friction.

They don't come to break us. They come to stretch us—to increase our capacity to hold more of what it means to be human.

We spend so much of our lives wrestling life into submission.

Maybe we don’t need to win the fight. Maybe we simply need to stop believing life is our opponent.

… Maybe the invitation is simply to stop fighting ourselves.

Let’s keep exploring the AND together next week.

We’ll move beyond the idea itself and into the everyday practice of living it—because recognising life’s paradoxes is one thing; learning to hold them well is another.

If this essay brought you value, sparked a new perspective, or helped you breathe a little easier today, I’d love you to consider becoming a paid subscriber. Moving forward there will be both paid and free to read content every week.

For the cost of one fancy coffee each month, you’ll help keep these deep dives sustainable while supporting me to continue to explore what it really means to be human.

Thanks for being here

Mon

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Find us on Skool for bite sized practices & conversations to help us Human - food, breathwork, movement, mindset

On Instagram this week:

If you enjoyed this, you might enjoy the ideas of perspective and proximity is past Substacks

Zooming In

Monica Moore — Mon, 27 Jul 2026 18:55:10 GMT

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Last week I wrote about zooming out—about perspective, and the gift of seeing ourselves from a little further away.

This week I want to do the opposite. To zoom in.

Perspective and Proximity are two si…

Zooming Out

Monica Moore — Mon, 20 Jul 2026 18:50:47 GMT

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We spend so much of life zoomed in that we forget perspective isn’t found in getting closer. Sometimes it’s found by stepping back.

In 1987, a writer named Frank White interviewed astronauts about wha…

The Distance Between Lost & Found

Monica Moore — Mon, 13 Jul 2026 18:55:34 GMT

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The Drake Passage, considered the world’s most perilous ocean crossing, is where three oceans and unimpeded currents collide. Raging seas. Towering waves. Hurricane-force winds that toss and churn.

Th…

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger (Except Bears. Bears Will Just Kill You.)

Monica Moore — Mon, 06 Jul 2026 18:55:02 GMT

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As an Early Childhood Teacher back in the day, one of my favorite books was We’re Going on a Bear Hunt. The premise: a family sets off on an adventure to find a bear - a big bear - and they are NOT …

Your Invisible Decade Was the Point

Monica Moore — Mon, 29 Jun 2026 19:01:37 GMT

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Did you know that a tree grows in two directions simultaneously? It’s always pushing down and up at the same time.

The part growing beneath the ground mirrors the part above it—and that’s pretty wild.

…

Waving the White Flag

Monica Moore — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 18:56:01 GMT

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As I look out my rain-smeared window, fog has descended, enveloping the house in a scene reminiscent of Wuthering Heights — all moody and waterlogged — masking the usual vista of hills and valleys to…

Sonder

Monica Moore — Mon, 08 Jun 2026 18:45:56 GMT

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I am interested in other humans.

Do you, like me, ever wonder, particularly when traveling & going through an airport, what people’s stories are?

I have a new favourite word:

…

Dangerous Places

Monica Moore — Mon, 01 Jun 2026 19:02:33 GMT

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A few weeks ago I went shopping. I have a deep aversion to malls — unless I’m travelling, in which case I’m completely in. This particular expedition wasn’t too terrible. My daughter came along, whic…

Truly, Madly Deeply

Monica Moore — Mon, 25 May 2026 19:01:40 GMT

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Motherhood is complicated and chaotic.

In a mother’s heart, the emotional arc, like that of a pendulum, never stops swinging. From frustration to delight. Fear to fierce. Grief to gratitude. Exhaustio…

Conversations We Avoid

Monica Moore — Mon, 18 May 2026 19:01:32 GMT

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Our thoughts need to be questioned — not weaponised.

Our minds receive enormous amounts of data and generate endless interpretation. The stories we create carry us in and out of coherence, in an…

Renovation not Detonation

Monica Moore — Mon, 04 May 2026 18:50:47 GMT

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I am contrary these days.

I’ve stopped being bewildered by the motivations of world leaders, the blatant subversion, the groundhog-day quality of every morning — as if April Fools became a permanent s…

The Mother of All Intersections

Monica Moore — Thu, 30 Apr 2026 19:01:13 GMT

Nobody warns you about the Arc de Triomphe roundabout. Twelve roads feeding into one circle, no lane markings, no assigned lanes, no one technically in charge.

I went around it once. On a bike. Held m…

Chaos Outside The Frame

Monica Moore — Mon, 13 Apr 2026 19:01:26 GMT

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You might think this a beautiful relaxing scene.

It’s not.

The reality: halfway through my meditation, the dog found a ball and came inside, throwing it at me so we could play. Bold move, even for him.…

Wanderlust and the Art of Staying Put

Monica Moore — Mon, 30 Mar 2026 18:01:28 GMT

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I love to travel. I also love staying home. These two things are not in conflict. They just pull at each other sometimes.

Limbo is a place most of us know well. The in-between times. Between one thing…

We are all Avocados

Monica Moore — Mon, 23 Mar 2026 18:02:07 GMT

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How many times have you picked up an avocado that looks absolutely perfect — smooth skin, just the right give — only to get it home, cut it open, and instead of that beautiful yellowy-green, velvety …

We Are Each Other's Superpower

Monica Moore — Mon, 16 Mar 2026 18:01:07 GMT

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I don’t know if you feel it too — but it feels like we’re stuck inside a really bad Marvel movie. One where all the villains showed up and none of the heroes did. Where the goal isn’t to solve problems, it’s to become the Supreme Leader. Where pain is the point, division is the strategy, and the worst of humanity is rewarded while benevolence and kindness is somehow cast as weakness.

In the good old days — yes, I’m going there — superheroes and their alliances balanced each other out. They saw each other. They helped those around them rise. They weren’t perfect. They presented with all facets of the human condition: doubt, fear, love, sacrifice.

But they were always, always in service of something greater than themselves.

And they rarely did it alone.

Batman & Robin — The OG dynamic duo
Superman & Lois Lane — Strength plus honesty
Shrek & Donkey — The loner & the one who refuses to leave
Thelma & Louise — Freedom. Solidarity. Together to the end

The best of them were opposites. One saw the world as it was. The other saw it as it could be. And together, that tension became something useful. Something hopeful.

I love words. And so I write. It helps me make sense of the world.

The word Ubuntu holds so much. I am, because you are.

How beautiful is that?

It speaks to recognition, mutual respect and a reminder that we are, at our core, the same. Similarly the word Namaste means — I see the light in you, and you see the light in me. We all want to belong. To feel seen, heard and valued. It is difficult in a world that is trying to tear us apart.

No amount of writing is helping me make sense of the current noise — a pandemic of words spreading hate instead of humanism. And yet, I keep writing. Because this is what I know how to do.

Connection is one of the six elements at the heart of MNL that helps us remember our humanness. To find ourselves and each other. To feel things and stay curious about them. To think, and rethink, how we do this.

I do know I want to be the person who helps you speak to the parts of yourself you find hardest to love. To draw out the parts that are harder to access. To offer a space where you know you’ll be held safely. To be strong from the inside. To find joy and delight despite the chaos — what a radical act. Honestly? Very Thelma and Louise.

We all have superpowers. They’re less dramatic than Batman’s, but probably more useful.

Checking in with our self
Checking in with each other
Getting curious. Asking questions.
Being genuinely interested in the people around us

It’s pretty simple, really.

And those small things? They’re the ripples. The ones that move outward and shape the world we actually live in.

We have to keep trying. Keep looking for the good. Keep being the good.

Nick Cave said it better than I ever could:

“The luminous and shocking beauty of the everyday is something I try to remain alert to, if only as an antidote to the chronic cynicism and disenchantment that seems to surround everything these days. It tells me that, despite how debased or corrupt we are told humanity is and how degraded the world has become, it just keeps on being beautiful. It can’t help it.”

There is so much beauty still out there. I really believe that.

As always, thank you for being here.

Mon

This week on Instagram

The importance of REST

The lines are blurred in our 24/7 culture making it necessary for us to carve out time to tend to our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. Find it at the local Lake like I did. Or I can highly recommend booking at stay at Budgalong Lodge