They spend 15 episodes looking at each other, misunderstanding each other, almost confessing, walking away, coming back, getting jealous, having a random kiss in the rain, showing they care for each other, and doing everything except actually saying, “I like you.”

And somehow, I am still there every week waiting for the confession because that confession comes with realising how much he /she loves the person and don’t want them out of their life and then running all the way to their house to give that long confession and I’d scream that finally, it is happening and please let it end with a kiss and when it does, the feeling is sweet.

Hi, my gentle reader,

How are you doing? How was your day?

I’m doing good and my day went well. Watched few episodes of Beauty in black, wrote my newsletter and went to do research for a project I’m handling.

Leave a comment

Happy Eldest Daughter Day to all my fellow eldest daughters. Rooting for you always.

Happy Beauty in Black Day to who celebrates!

So to How It All Started

Contrary to the popular belief that everyone’s first K-drama was Boys Over Flowers, mine wasn’t.

My first K-drama movie was A Man Called God. When I say I watched that movie more than five times, I mean it. I got to the point where I knew the sounds and songs in the movie. The lead actor also starred in Jumong, which was another movie I eventually came across.

But I didn’t discover Korean dramas because I went searching for them.

My dad loves action movies, so he bought A Man Called God home, and that was how we watched it.

And somehow, I fell in love with it.

What initially drew me in was how much was happening. There was love, revenge, betrayal, action, and so much more packed into one story.

I loved that there wasn’t just one thing to follow. There was always something happening.

And then, of course, I loved seeing the faces of the actors, the best part of watching any K-drama for real.

The storyline made sense to me, and watching everything unfold made me genuinely happy.

I think that was how K-dramas slowly became one of my happy things.

What I Actually Love About K-Dramas When I Started Watching it.

The funny thing is, I don’t have the same feelings for every K-drama.

Different K-dramas pull me in for completely different reasons.

Sometimes, it is the romance.

The emotional vulnerability.

The chemistry between two people.

Watching them slowly notice each other, go on dates, become comfortable around each other, and eventually realise that they have fallen in love.

Those are the ones that have me smiling at my screen and giggling like I don’t have a sense, and most times, I'm literally in the movie.

Sometimes, it isn’t romance at all.

Sometimes, it is watching a friendship bloom.

Watching a character grow.

Watching a family figure things out.

While watching all these unfold, sometimes it is my tears and emotions flying everywhere, or simply my laughter that makes me forget whatever is happening around me for a while.

And I love that all of these things can exist in one K-drama or across several different ones.

I also love those moments when I’m watching something and suddenly think:

“So someone actually thinks like this enough to make it into a movie?”

Because sometimes a character says or does something that I’ve thought about before, and I’m just sitting there thinking, Wait. So I’m not the only person who thinks about things this way?

I love ittttt.

Maybe that is one of the reasons I enjoy their stories so much in general.

They remind me that even the thoughts I think are uniquely mine can exist in someone else’s imagination too.

So, to my most recent watch: I have two I want to share with you.

Love Lab: So People Actually Meet Their Spec?

Recently, I watched Love Lab, and I smiled through so much of it because it wasn’t your regular kind of reality show.

They were testing relationships in some very interesting ways.

Like having a date in bed for three nights to see if it would actually work out and it did because they show us what goes on after the show or only talking when they were drunk to find out whether alcohol really helps people open up in relationships and it didn’t for them.

I was just there like, what exactly am I watching?

But there was one part that really caught my attention.

There was a show with four guys and four ladies, and each person had already told the organisers what their ideal type looked like or the kind of person they thought they could fall for.

And the organisers actually went looking for people who fit those descriptions.

One lady even described her ideal type as having something like an “edge of a tofu face,” which I thought was so cute because my spec being like 5pm actually made a lot of sense, so I was like, yes girl.

And then they actually found someone who looked like what she had described.

I loved what the guy used to reply her though. Basically, I guess this should be the standard. If I can be into you, my dear, you are my spec. Forget the 5pm kind of complexion, the brown skin boy looks, as far as I like you, nobody comes closer anymore!!!

And so my reaction was basically:

“Wait. So people actually meet their spec in this life?”

Because imagine describing your ideal person and someone actually goes out into the world and finds that person somewhere.

It became even funnier when two ladies had the same ideal type, and the guy initially leaned towards one and later switched to the other.

I laughed.

I screamed.

I paused the episode.

Because these things actually happen.

But underneath all the laughter, it reminded me of something very real:

You can meet your spec and still not be your spec’s spec.

And I think that’s such an interesting thing about relationships.

Sometimes the person you think is exactly what you want doesn’t choose you.

And sometimes, someone can be everything you imagined and still not be the person you end up with.

Life is funny like that.

See You at Work Tomorrow

Another K-drama moment that stayed with me was from See You at Work Tomorrow.

There was a lady who had liked a guy since high school. At one point, they even lived together in a way that almost felt like they were already married.

But the guy kept saying he wasn’t interested in marriage.

He eventually left.

Then he came back.

Then he left again.

At some point, she kept texting him, hoping for something that he wasn’t ready to give her.

And then, after a long while, he came back again.

But this time, he was ready.

He wanted to make things right.

He wanted to get married.

And honestly?

It hurt.

Maybe because I could relate to it in a way.

Sometimes, we hold on to the idea of who someone could be for us instead of accepting who they are right now.

Sometimes people tell us what they want.

Sometimes they tell us what they don’t want.

Sometimes they show us.

And we hear them, but we still think:

Maybe they’ll change.

Maybe they’ll realise.

Maybe they’ll be ready soon.

Maybe if I wait long enough.

And I think that’s where we sometimes hurt ourselves.

The lady eventually didn’t accept him back, and I was genuinely proud of her.

Because he came back when it was convenient for him, almost expecting that her heart would still be waiting exactly where he left it.

And yes, she still liked him.

But she chose herself first.

That part stayed with me.

Because someone’s eventual readiness doesn’t erase the time when they weren’t ready and made you wait unnecessarily.

And sometimes choosing yourself doesn’t mean you stopped caring.

It simply means you finally decided that caring about someone else shouldn’t require abandoning yourself.

So, Why Do I Love K-Dramas? And how did it become part of the things that make me happy now.

Maybe I’m not just watching for the romance.

Maybe I love K-dramas because I love watching people experience life.

I love seeing someone’s face light up when they see someone they love.

I love watching two people slowly notice each other.

I love watching people go on dates, choose each other despite the odds, become vulnerable, and find joy in little moments.

I love watching friendships blossom.

I love seeing characters grow.

I love the families, the friendships, the laughter, the tears and, yes, the unnecessarily long love confessions.

Maybe I simply love seeing people experience emotions.

And whenever I experience these things or I see people experience those things, whether on a screen or in real life, it makes me happy.

It makes me smile.

It makes me excited.

It reminds me that there is so much beauty in ordinary human experiences.

Love.

Friendship.

Connection.

Being seen.

Being chosen.

Finding joy.

I guess my reasons then and now are the same and maybe that is why, after all these years, I still find myself pressing play on another episode.

My Current K-Drama Era

Currently, I am watching two K-dramas at once, depending on their release days.

My Bias, My Boss and The Affair was just the beginning have been keeping me company, and honestly, it has been so sweet so far.

It feels like K-drama is entering another prime era.

And one of my favourite things to do is watch an episode while I’m eating.

There is something about having my food in front of me, pressing play, and then suddenly screaming at my laptop because of something a character said, and it makes my mealtime much more enjoyable.

I’m there savouring the taste of my food while also trying to understand why someone who clearly likes someone else is taking 14 business days to admit it.

But that’s the beauty of it.

For those few moments, I’m simply enjoying the story.

And I think we all deserve little things that make us happy for no particular reason.

For me, sometimes, that thing is a K-drama.

Today is my feast Day too so Happy Feast Day to me. St Monica, Pray for us. Got quite a number of wishes but no actual “Feast”. I’d consider that next time.

Thank you for reading to this point. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

And if you are a K-drama lover too, let’s connect, and I hope this made you smile, remember a favourite drama, or perhaps even think about why you love watching them.

I’m sending you lots of love and hugs.

Till I write to you again,

I’m Monica-Mary.

Leave a comment

Share Monica-Mary’s Newsletter

Refer a friend

For me, they are a lot and I’d mention a few like, writing, listening to music, getting credit alerts or cool cash, watching K-drama or any romcom movie that makes me grin so hard and much because of how sweet their love feels, sleeping, eating good food, drinking Sosa, being behind someone lens, taking pictures and making cute videos of myself, reading love letters handwritten or sent to my email, writing to someone about how much I’m in love with them, dancing, giving relationship advice, gifting someone, plaiting hair for myself or people when I want to do it for, trying new things, supporting my family and friends at the very point they need it, etc amongst so many others and two out of them is what I will talk about today. Stay tuned.

Hi, my gentle reader. How are you doing, and how was your day?

I’m good, and you? My day was good. I went for my CDS today and I volunteered to be the financial secretary of my CDS group; then I went to plait my hair. The hairstylist complimented my hair because of how curly it was even after plaiting it. It felt so good.

Leave a comment

So let’s dive right into it.

Giving relationship advice;

You can wake me up from sleep if it’s about your love life and you need me. I'm always active for it, but somehow I guess some of the advice comes back to me as karma. I told my friend about it, and he was just laughing at me. What sort of thought process is this? But hear me out.

On a random day, my guy friend asked for my advice that there is this girl that texts him everyday but he isn’t interested and he has told her about it and as the lover girl thag I’m I was even like he can just see how it will go but he was like he didn’t like her at all so I told him to just let her know and be firm about it and he was like that’s what he wanted to do but he didn’t want to seem wicked but since that’s my advice too then that makes two people seeing it like that.

Then, randomly, it came to my head that what if the guy I like is asking his female friend this same question, and he gets this response too, and he is working on acting it out too. A few days later, it happened that the person I like and I had to stop talking actively, and I told my friend that, you see, what if it’s cause of the advice I gave you that came back to hunt me. I know it is dramatic because it isn’t related, and I was just being funny, or does it actually work that way? I doubt it.

Anyways that won’t stop me from giving anyone who needs my advice on relationships. It gives me so much joy to be there for you, to make you realise what you might not see clearly, and to pray with and for you on it. So anytime, any day, I'm there. By the way, I love my sleep so much that when I say you can wake me from sleep for it, then you know that I love you more than my sleep when it comes to your relationship, and that relationship has to pick a side, all in or out.

The other thing I’m writing to you about is my love for:

Reading love letters, handwritten or sent to my email, and funny how one came in, and I melted. Me when I got the email.

I thought my heart was shattered, but it’s in it right and perfect shape, and I was just smiling. I didn’t know some men write with their hearts in it, and you’d see that he is there, like sane. There were just a few parts of the letter that I want to talk about. Obviously, writing cute letters isn’t enough for me to fall in love with you, but because of it, I can consider it as far as I'd be getting it every morning, but I still have to like you a bit, at least.

So right into it;

“There are some feelings that are so hard to put into words, but when it comes to you, I can’t keep them hidden.”

I love people who express themselves a lot. I don’t have to guess or wonder because I know that your heart is with me.

“You became someone who holds a special place in my heart. There is something about you that goes far beyond your face card. It’s the way you carry yourself, the way you laugh and all; you found a way into my thoughts without you around.”

In one word, I love your soul. I was like, wow.

“I don’t want to tell you that you’re beautiful. I want you to know that I see something deeper about you. I see a woman I could respect, admire, support, laugh with, grow with, and love through different seasons of life.”

He said grow with and love through every season, that is, when I'm writing exams, when we are far apart, when I have to work late into the night, when I'm in pain, when I'm happy and laughing, etc. That’s what loving me through different seasons of life looks like, and I read that part and was happy. He understands that it is not just about now, but when things are evolving, he will hold my hand, and we will do it together. I loved it like sane.

“I know love is more than beautiful words. Love is choosing someone even when life isn’t perfect. It is patience when things are difficult, honesty when conversations are uncomfortable, loyalty when nobody is watching, and standing beside each other when the world becomes heavy.”

“That is the kind of love I want to give you”

“I don’t know exactly what the future holds, but I would like to discover.”

“I would like to discover with you in the picture.”

I fell on my knees at the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway, there and then. I felt it. Not running from things is a very attractive trait, especially when you like someone that much, and it was such a cute write-up, and I will save the rest for myself.

I shared that because that just sums up how love should feel. In words and in actions, choosing someone over and over at every point of their life, showing up for them. It felt like a reflection of the kind of person I'm, and despite all the uncertainties, I'm sure I want to do it with you. Assurance, certainty in a way that matters, and everything in between.

I love the choice of words so much, and it just reminded me that I'm a sweet person for real, and I'm glad someone sees it too. It’s a cute love story, but would it even start? Another day to find out.

Just a reminder that your exam timetable can come out on a random Wednesday afternoon because mine came out today, and my exams will be held from November 10^th to November 12^th, and I'm glad that it is early November so the result will be out early December so I don’t check my results on Christmas Day while tearing chicken laps.

I started writing this like around 9:00pm raw plus editing and here you have it. A spontaneous writer with music, like I told you, music is one of the things I love, and that makes me happy.

Also, Happy World Photography Day to we that celebrate. My brother took this picture for me so I’m celebrating him and others.

Thank you for reading to this point, and I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing this. I'd share another thing I love next time.

I’m sending you lots of love and hugs.

Till I write to you again,

I’m Monica-Mary.

Leave a comment

Share Monica-Mary’s Newsletter

Refer a friend

So these are everyday sayings from my perspective, and what I think they mean, or how they can be said to mean well.

Hi, my gentle reader. How are you doing, and how was your day?

I’m good, and you? My day was good. I went to church, joined in cooking and ate, read my Bible, doomscrolled, and wrote my newsletter. Should eat dinner, read my books, prepare work tomorrow, and sleep after this.

Leave a comment

For our topic today, I will be looking at seven popular sayings and my pov.

For the first one, this is quite popular but it is contextual to me.

• Everybody knows what they’re doing

  People know what they are doing, but I think it is based on context. I can say I don’t know what I'm doing because as an adult, I'm figuring things out, and it might not look like it yet, but I’m reading for ICAN exams. I guess that is, I know what I'm doing because getting that certification gives me better options. So I think if it is more specific, then you know if people know what they are doing or not. You can’t intentionally lead someone on and claim you don’t know what you are doing, especially when you know it isn’t going anywhere. So I guess the saying “everybody knows what they're doing” is more contextual than general.

  

  

  ---

  This one I have heard almost everyday but I’m like won’t the rainy days save me too like this.

• Save for the rainy days

  This one is funny because the rainy days are now more than the money available to be saved for them. On a random day, someone's phone can spoil, the charger can blow, anything unforeseen, and you didn’t plan for it. Is it every time these things happen that you dip into your rainy day savings? What would be left? So my talk is saving with a goal in mind, maybe towards a new phone, land, or something, not about rainy days. Having an emergency fund is good, but all those things are emergencies if someone's phone breaks down now, as a student and exams are close, you need to fix it or get another phone, and if other things like that happen, nothing will be left.

  

  ---

  This was my favourite and it’s is for someone giving up on something to someone and I don’t think it works that’s way.

• If it’s meant to be, it will

  I have two perspectives on this. I don’t think it works that way. A man and woman are meant to be as husband and wife, but why isn’t it just happening that people break up? someone will say because they ain’t meant to be but i’d say they didn’t work towards it, the relationshiop wont work itself, just like getting a degree, you gained tadmission to get bsc accounting, it is meant to be by virtue of your admisiison but you don’t get it until you spend 4 years goiung to class, writing test and exams so in the same way becaue you are dating doesn’t automatuically mean it will lead to marriage and so sometimes if its meant to be is in our hands to make it be.

  Another perspective is that God’s plan cannot be delayed, right? If he wants something to happen, no matter how long it takes, it will happen so if it is in his plan that it will be then it definitely will be.

  ---

  This is for consolation and sometimes it makes it worse becaus we both know time doesn’t make it better. I felt like that and that’s it. Time won’t make me feel less of what I felt.

• Time heals all wounds

  Time doesn't heal all wounds. You just adjust to the times and adapt to the situation, forging ahead. Just like you move and live with it, the scars, the damage, the pain sometimes show up or are permanent, and so time doesn’t heal it; people grow with it.

  ---

  It will pass you by and never come back. People thag use this as an excuse to be lazy and not be accountable and I don’t like it.

• What’s meant for you won’t pass you by

  What is meant for you will pass you by if you ain't there to get it ooo, except if given a second chance. Why is there even a second chance thing if what is meant for you won’t pass you by? So I believe it will pass you by and leave you behind if you don’t preopare for it, just like you have an interview and you hav brrn told that the jobe will be yours and then you satay at home and not show up, it will be given tos osomeome else, so even if something is meant you, don’t play about it, show up and stay for it to be yours and not pass you by.

  ---

  This is an interesting one because if money hits my account right now, I’d be drowning in some kind of happiness and planning and budgeting what I’d get with it and you say it cant but happiness. It’s a feeling but money will get me things that will bring forth that happiness.

• Money can’t buy happiness

  I feel like this is a very funny onw to me becasuse all the things that make people sad, money can solve it .there are somethings you don’t even bother about because you haven moneyto sort them out comfortably and it will bring happiness, money wont buy happiness but the things that will give you happiness like wigs, comfort, stability, money will bring it for you so if not directly, indirectly it will so make money.

  ---

  This one is very painful because I wanted to and I tried to but I couldn’t. I can’t kill myself now and the thought should count on some days. If we have the means , we would over do.

• If they wanted to, they would

  I still laughed at myself yesterday. I wanted to buy a car for this man. I asked him for the model he wanted, but I don’t have the money. I wanted to, I guess it's the thought that counts. So my take on this is that people want to look at me nowww, but I couldn’t because of financial constraints, for some people it’s fear, imagine going all out and confessing you love to someone only to get “that’s nice”. So people want to for people like me that are chalant but have some constraints, we will get there soon, so people won’t say if we wanted to, we would again. So people have various reasons why they wanted to but couldn’t, so please try to understand.

How many of these do you agree to my POV and let me know yours too if you disagree??

Leave a comment

Sending you lots of love. No man to send kisses to tonight.

Till I write to you again,

I’m Monica-Mary.

Leave a comment

Refer a friend

Share Monica-Mary’s Newsletter

Her next question was:

“Fair? Dark? Indian brown?”

I replied, “Brown... like 5 p.m. kind of complexion.”

The response?

“Make I go check wetin 5 p.m. mean.” 😂

I tried explaining that I meant the kind of warm brown that somehow glows the way everything outside does around 5 p.m. Apparently, that didn’t help much because I was informed that my specifications are now highly specific.

Fair enough.

But that conversation made me realize something: my life lately has been just as random as that description because it just came to my head to say 5 pm complexion.

Hi, my gentle reader. How are you doing, and how was your day?

I’m good, and you? My day was good. Slept half the day as usual after mass and wrote this newsletter, and will later do some work, read, and prepare for work tomorrow.

Leave a comment

One minute I’m figuring out NYSC and wondering what this new season is going to look like. The next minute, I’m navigating whatever this liking someone chapter is. Somewhere in between, God keeps teaching me lessons I didn’t even know I needed.

It’s been beautiful, confusing, exciting, stretching, funny, and, at times, deeply humbling.

So today’s newsletter isn’t one neat lesson tied together with a pretty bow.

It’s simply a life update.

NYSC

I’m now a corp member, and this one year is one for me to evolve with. Surprisingly, I was posted to Ibadan, and I was just asking God why, because I wanted Ogun State because of my work. Camp was good, but you can’t hear it from my mouth that I miss camp. Still trying to recover from all the changes it brought to my face. The good part, I went to camp with my cousin, and I also met someone that we have been talking online since 2023 and never met, but somehow met in camp.

Those were the highlights. Friends? Made some as I do not make friends easily, and it takes a while for me to relate to people I do not know.

Serving in Ibadan will also help me with my ICAN tutorials and writing them once and for all, so it all worked out for my good.

Got this cake because he got it and told me about it and that he really liked so I decided to get it when I saw it in camp because I didn’t see it anywhere. You should try it.

Liking someone

Now I'm going to be a poet here, but I'm smiling so much while writing this. What a sweet feeling to like someone, a sweeter feeling if it is mutual, and the sweetest and best of all is if both parties are willing and able to make it work, and so far it has been good.

Always wanting to talk to him, talk about my day, even when I'm talking to someone, randomly slipping talks about him into the conversation, and happy about it. I’m not a finished woman yet; until then, I will keep cheering others.

Something I have noticed, though, is that what you won’t accept or can’t take in the relationship, don’t accept it from the beginning, like talk it out from the start, and that’s important in making them accountable for their actions and taking responsibility to make it right.

Growth

I love where I'm right now with how I handle conflicts or disagreements. I would have crashed everything to start from scratch, and I wouldn’t even mind, not because I didn’t care, but because my emotions are always heightened to the point where I do not care, but recently, I just feel calm about talking about things without overthinking them and making things clear. It is beautiful to see. Celebrating the little wins, I guess.

I know I haven’t written since April; life got busy, and I'm sorry for keeping you waiting, but I'm here now. Thank you for staying with me. I'm sending this by 5 pm so you can get an idea of my spec description.

Sending you lots of love and hugs, kisses are for my man only.

Till I write to you again,

I’m Monica-Mary.

Leave a comment

Share Monica-Mary’s Newsletter

Refer a friend

But then again… falling in love is the easy part.
It’s staying, building, and choosing each other that this economy really tests.

The person who sang “Love Don’t Cost a Dime” didn’t lie, but to maintain that relationship costs a fortune. Money is needed, and with this economy that you’d always calculate everything before you can do it, it is so real to be saving for an outing ahead or know that once you remove a certain amount of money, drinking garri has been added to your meal plan. Should a relationship really be like this?

On the other hand, Love is sweet, hearing this man’s voice and everything is well again, giving me that reassurance like “I’m doing this right now and I will call you when I’m done and doing that makes my heart do gbim gbim and gbish gbish all together and when he sent me money to motivate me to read for my exams, and planned a date, etc. I knew that it isn’t just words that get things done, but actions, and these actions require money, and that’s why they say when money enters, love is sweeter.

Hi, my gentle reader. How are you doing, and how was your day?

I’m good, and you? My day was good. Slept half the day as usual after mass and wrote this newsletter. I'll do some work later, and I’m not going to work tomorrow. I’m so happy.

Leave a comment

Love is handing someone the power to destroy you, but trusting they won’t use it. Relationships are handing over to each other the power to destroy each other, but trusting them not to use it; instead, you make each other's personal lives better in the relationship.

In my newsletter, I’m looking at a couple, whether in the talking stage or already in the relationship, finance comes up, and sometimes doesn’t make people go past the talking stage or even proceed to marriage, but people are proposing, doing big surprises, travelling, and getting married in this economy. Do not be deceived.

An average Nigerian just wants to survive, food and transport to work, rent, etc have taken up all their money, so going on dates and buying gifts has to come from a place of planning, budgeting, and being on the same page, which at the end of the day, might not happen. Love languages shift from luxury to consistency and effort.

Conversations like:

“ I like her, but I’m not financially stable yet, so I’d just wait till I’m.”

“Wishing I could do more” sometimes causes miscommunication in relationships

Wanting to express love freely, but constantly thinking of how to survive too.

But waiting and wishing in an economy that isn’t working makes it all tiring.

I’m glad my gender is now more financially independent. Being able to stand on your own is good because being in a relationship complements you, not completes you or makes you whole, as what you don’t have, you can’t give. Knowing each other financial capacity is key, it is economic alignment so as not to crash the ship because of finances or going to to expensive restaurants with insuffient balance as there are outings within your budget you can go for, obviously it willcome at a cost but sacrifing for someon you love and loves you back is something worth doing and not just be a taker and also be a giver in the relationship. Both parties should be able to give and sacrifice when needed.

You can expect him to take care of it, but in reality, it is the lady who will take care of it and vice versa. Face the reality rather than expecting, and if the reality isn’t what you can go through, you move rather than being in your head expecting.

A relationship is a partnership, like in accounting, a partnership is two people coming together with the intention of making a profit. Now, this partnership in a relationship, it is with the intention of making it work; in both cases, it requires funds, efforts, planning, strategizing, budgeting, and actually being happy with one another

Relationship should be an emotional safety, especially when it comes to things not working maynbe at work and all or finances, oh I’m low on cash this weekend due to an unforeseen circumstance, can we shift it, and the lady or guy can say I will foot the bill and not feeling like if you mention things like that, it will cause trouble.

Relationship as growth, not just spending: spiritual growth: praying together, reading the bible, sharing sermons, discussing God in your relationship, etc., physical growth: hitting the gym, eating well, etc emotional growth, career growth, financial groth like savings, investing, etc, all rounder growth, it shouldn’t be draining you but adding to you.

Maybe in this economy, love isn’t about how much you spend but how much you stay and make it work.

To my monthly gifting: I also told myself, it is either I learn something new( online or physically), or I go somewhere new, or I get myself something new every month and so for March, I got myself an office shoe and a cute sandal and Mtn almost sent me to my village, I’m the one working for them because what.

Watch out for April’s own. This makes me always look forward to every month because I know I’ll do something for myself.

So I’d just say falling in love in this economy works, and maintaining a relationship is possible even with a tight budget. Know what you can afford and be with someone who understands this and also has their finances up. I won’t advise being with someone who doesn’t have anything financially, whether a lady or a guy.

Thank you for reading to this point, and maybe the real solution is simple: if love is going to survive this economy, we all have a role to play, including at the ballot box. Let’s get our PVC and vote right this election, because at this point, love is trying, but the economy isn’t helping, and so that love can be soft again… and my wedding can be elaborate, let’s get this right. You’d be invited.

Sending you lots of love and hugs, kisses are for my man only.

Till I write to you again,

I’m Monica-Mary.

Leave a comment

Share Monica-Mary’s Newsletter

Refer a friend

On one fateful evening, I wanted to take a bike home after work and I got there and told him where I was going and he said 1,000 naira and I said 500 naira and moved forward and then he called me back and said 700 naira and then I showed him, I have 500 naira and that’s the amount I have been paying to my destination, if you are going answer me and then I left his front and he came to use his bike to meet me in front and said oya, let’s go and so I entered and it got me thinking about a lot of things which I will share with you.

Hi, my gentle reader. How are you doing, and how was your day? I’m good, and you? My day went well only that mtn is removing my data anyhow. It is just too obvious now but I’m glad I’m writing to you and I can send it to you.

Leave a comment

Relationship: I know that a relationship without constant choosing of each other, communication, comprehension, effort, and understanding won’t survive, even though you love each other. Every aspect is very important, especially spiritual and financial, because sometimes not having a common ground spiritually or financially can be the reason for a disagreement, and most importantly, balance. Now people see balance as being perfect and not having issues. But balance is that both of you are always showing up for each other, even in those issues, we compromise by being patient with each other and reach a mutual conclusion, one that benefits both parties and doesn’t leave one feeling somehow.

I have a few things to analyse and with examples too.

Standard

Have standards and never lower them for anyone, and that’s why we have negotiables and non-negotiables, so you have things that you can compromise and things you shouldn’t even compromise.

For example, you are AS, and you meet someone who is AS, and you say you love each other; that is something you shouldn’t compromise for the future of your children and even yourself.

Anyone who loves you will meet you there. You like someone calm and soft with you; it is the bare minimum, don’t trade it for anything at the expense of your peace when you settle for an angry bird.

Your Wants and Needs matters.

You state what you want unapologetically and stand on it and if there will be a change, it will be a balance where one person doesn’t feel used or a slave to another; it is a partnership not a master-servant relationship.

Shrinking

Do not shrink for someone to feel good about themselves, you don’t like how he or she apologies without doing better, let him or her know, air your opinions well and let him or her know what you aren’t cool with because if you keep tolerating without speaking up when it will pile up, it will either be an outburst or lead to resentment.

Reaching a balance

This is very important.

She: Oh. I don’t think I can be cooking every day, can we eat out on some days?

Him: Oh yes, I can even cook on some days, and definitely we can get food too.

That is a balance. It is a mutual understanding, and both parties are responsible for setting the tone of the relationship.

No limitation mindset

It has to work out, and what if it doesn’t work out? Don’t think that’s all for you. There is not only one right person for you in this world, as there is always more and better, so just keep doing you and many right persons will come your way.

There is no where you can’t meet your future partner, so don’t limit yourself. Church, camp, club, hotels, restaurants, cinemas, public transport, online, resort, on the road, anywhere actually.

These places aren’t bad; it is some things they do there that make it bad, and who do these things? PEOPLE. People have met their partners in clubs before, people sign millions of dollars in hotels or ways to move their company forward in these places, but we have seen some of these places as a bad because of what is done there.

There is always better

When you meet the right person you love, and there is alignment at least in most things, like I said at the beginning, you have to constantly choose each other because you will always see someone better, richer, finer, more caring, etc., but no one is perfect, and there is always more than you see on the surface until you know them better and you see that maybe the devil you know is better than the angel you do not know.

There was something that happened on my way back from church, I wanted to get cold water and I saw it at the other side of the road and I was like I will see another one in front as there was a place I usually get it and I didn’t. I walked round the market only to meet that same lady at the beginning of the market and got it from her and that was when this thought came to me.

Now there can be a case which happens not often where you meet someone at a time when both parties are still figuring life out and then you decide to let it go or didn’t work because no one wanted to be patient enough or compromise and probably years after, that same person finds you again and both parties are now better versions of themselves and then it all works out.

When thinking of settling down and choosing someone you want to settle down with, think of someone you can go to war with, that will stick with you through thick and thin, and that’s why you have to be sure while doing that because it makes you or breaks you.

So be patient in love because love is patient as said in 1Corinthians 13:1-13, you can read that up again and seek God while in the waiting season, and don’t limit God and yourself to a spec that might not exist. That’s where the standard I talked about comes in.

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it to you, and you agree with my POV or let me know yours too. If the email is looking jam packed, please click to view full post on the page.

Till I write to you again,

I’m Monica-Mary.

Leave a comment

Share Monica-Mary’s Newsletter

Refer a friend

Rooting for y’all always!!!❤️🥳

Valentine’s Day has always been a normal day to me, or me almost getting pranked that I have a package, not much drama, but as a sweet girl, I usually gift my friends chocolates, which I don’t like, and write cute notes to them, and it always made my day every time I had the chance to do it.

This year, my friend decided to make it different and said we should go on a date. I was super excited, and that’s what this newsletter is about. I got his Point of view and my Point of view, so you can have the whole tea about our date.

Hi, my gentle reader. How are you doing, and how was your day? I’m good, and you? My day went well, and I’m so happy writing to you.

Leave a comment

We should dive right into it;

This man said let’s go on a date.

I was like oh wow, a date? Let’s haveett.

HIS POV

Monica-Mary and I planned on meeting at Ventura at 1 pm, so I left my house around 12:30, even though we agreed on 12. I got to Ventura and met her waiting at the gate. She was looking takeaway and all.

MY POV

I was super excited; I’m always excited to meet someone I like. I thought I’d be running late as per usual, but surprisingly, I got there before him.

He walked into our venue, and my gosh, your girl was tripping, but I had to stay composed. I led the way as the extrovert that I am and the introvert that he is, as he didn’t know his way around.

HIS POV

We entered the building and went straight to the Cinema (it was my first time at the Cinema by the way). The movie, Love and New Notes, wasn’t airing until 2 pm, and we had like over 30 minutes, so we decided to go to the Arcade (her treat). At the Arcade, we played some games. Oh, I beat her at the dancing game even though she’d say it was the machine’s fault.

MY POV

We got to the cinema, and he paid for it. I was just so happy to be there, like I had gone out with people, but just me and someone on this day, my absolute favorite.

I told him, let’s go to the arcade while we wait for our movie to be aired, and we played games. I won him, though, that’s all I’d say.

HIS POV

Anyway, we finished at the Arcade and went back to watch our movie.

Love and new notes turned out to be a lovely movie, even though my date gambled on our choices. So my first Cinema experience was memorable, coupled with my holding hands with my date during the movie.

MY POV

We went back to watch the movie. We got our popcorn and drinks and walked in for our movie. It was an interesting movie, and I’m so glad I picked it as he was just pushing it to me to pick one, so without any review whatsoever, I picked Love and new notes, and it had me in my feelings.

Mind you, I’m not a PDA person, but why and how am I suddenly wanting to become one just to be closer to him, until he held my hands and I felt like everyone was looking at me, and I remembered why I’m not a PDA person. I’m a shy babe, actually. We ate, laughed, talked, and it was so fun, I felt so safe with him.

HIS POV

After the movie, we went out of the theater to get the chicken and chips we had ordered earlier, and while waiting in line, one of the stars of the movie, Kamo, came in alongside Erekere and Folake Babatunde. The whole lobby went crazy with excitement. Turns out Monica-Mary and I aren’t really fans of the limelight because as soon as we got our pictures and videos taken with them, we left immediately.

MY POV

We came out, and we were waiting for our chicken and chips supposed to be served inside, and we saw some celebs, took pictures with them, and we moved because why are we waiting around, I’m not small too.🤭😹
We had gotten downstairs, and my guy forgot our popcorn, and he was shy to go back and get it. I think there are some things I’m not shy about, so I went back and took it where we left it, and we sat to eat.

HIS POV

We found a corner to eat our chicken and chips while catching up.

MY POV

We talked and laughed, and I felt like it shouldn’t end. Maybe I should have just followed him home, but I can’t.

HIS POV

After, we left Ventura and went to a nearby restaurant because she needed to get ice cream for her mum and siblings.

MY POV

So we got out of the venue, talked about carrying a bike or not, as I wanted to get some things for my people at home, and we took a bike and went to a restaurant nearby and got it.

HIS POV

Outside the restaurant, we waited for a keke going her direction (I was going the opposite direction), reluctant to part ways because we kept telling every available keke and bike that we weren’t going.

MY POV

It was time for goodbyes, and we were just there, with different thoughts. I’m sure he wanted me to go his way, though sadly, I didn’t.
We did our side hugs, of which I think I wanted a full hug, but how did I get so comfortable? It was very surprising that after meeting him after a while, I wanted to hug him firmly and tightly. I would have stretched my hand for a handshake and gone.

But it was different, and I felt different too. We left it there, said our goodbyes, hoping to pick it up where we left it when next we meet.

HIS POV

Finally, we stopped a keke, and we said our goodbyes.

MY POV

Looking forward to another date, though, because I was excited before I got there and even over-excited when we met and everything in between.

I will keep you guys posted if there is any though.

HIS POV

I was excited and nervous before I got there, but when I was there, I was happy and shy. The moments meant everything to me.

Refer a friend

That was how my lovely Valentine’s Day went, with so much laughter, fun, and memories. Beautifully, we didn’t even take any pictures together. We were just in that moment. We made lot of unaware videos, though.

What do you think about this writing style? Let me know in the comments.

Till I write to you again,

I’m Monica-Mary.

Leave a comment

Share Monica-Mary’s Newsletter

Refer a friend

Subscribe now

Hi, my gentle reader. How are you doing, and how was your day? I’m good, and you? My day went well with sleeping, eating, reading, because my ICAN exams are 102 days away, and I’m feeling so unprepared, and writing to you.

Leave a comment

One thing I achieved in January was balancing myself. entered a new phase of being an accountant, reading for exams, trying to learn new things like swimming, driving, and how to do my makeup, doing online courses that will boost my career, ways to make money, and still keeping my relationship with God on fire. It was a roller coaster because on some days, I’m fully in on some and some days I don’t show up for any except my work, of course.

In all of my trying to balance everything, I realized that I might not show up 100 percent, but even if it is 20 I can put in, I should be there, and that has changed my perspective, so I don’t try to make it perfect before I do, I just show up and get things done.

Building a structure that works also matters a lot. Imagine setting prayer time to 11 pm, even though you know you’d be tired from the day’s work and doze off before 10 pm. The point is looking at youself and picking a time that works for you really matters for anything you want, except the fixed time range, like work of which I still try to leave immediately and not stay extra time to meet up with other things.

Just like my driving schedule interaction, the man gave me a flexible time, pick the one that works for you, and show up consistently, and that’s what matters.

I decided to write my newsletters on Sundays because that’s like my free day to relax and put something together, and it has been working well for me

So when trying to adjust to so many things,

• Put God at the centre of everything

• Build structures that work for you, and show up in any capacity you can.

• Don’t wait for it to be very perfect or special before you move because time is just going, as someone said “before you know it, it is 6 pm already”.

• Breaking things down into bits helps, rather than doing everything all at once.

This is my reality now as I have been forced out of the lovey lovey one I was having at the beginning of this newsletter.

Share Monica-Mary’s Newsletter

I also told myself, it is either I learn something new( online or physically), or I go somewhere new, or I get myself something new every month.

In January, my laptop came, and I also managed myself by balancing everything I got into and coming out better.

Watch out for February’s own on that, and my birthday is on February 28^th. Save the date. We party, and in that way, this is a link for you to write to me anything. It is more like anonymous, but a cuter one, and I can only see all you have written to me on my birthday.

The link here: https://thelovewall.vercel.app/wall/birthday-soiree-xm86

Thank you for reading to this point, and I hope this newsletter blesses you.

Till I write to you again,

I’m Monica-Mary.

Leave a comment

Share Monica-Mary’s Newsletter

Refer a friend

In secondary school that year, I had a crush. I don’t think he knew, but I made sure he helped me out with everything so I could stay close to him. He would help me write my notes, and I stared at the handwriting because he wrote really well. He changed to the sciences, and we weren’t in the same class anymore, but we still talked as friends. Something dramatic happened on my 16^th birthday, and it stuck with me till now, at least. So on the evening of my birthday that year, I met this guy, and with so much joy and enthusiasm, I told him that day was my birthday, and he hugged me and said happy birthday and planted a kiss… whoooshhh, he planted it on my forehead though. I was so overjoyed. My roommate just said she knows I would think about it for days, but it has been years now, and another did happen on Thursday, and I’m so happy.

Hi, my gentle reader. How are you doing, and how was your day? I’m good, and my day went well with sleeping, eating, and writing to you.

Lest I forget, Happy new month, my gentle reader, I pray this new month comes with clarity, growth, and things you so much want to be better…Amen. It’s my month. Feb 28^th, we feast.

Leave a comment

Remember my last newsletter, I told you I had three things to write about, but one wasn’t complete yet. Now, the last one is complete, and it is here. I kept on saying, this isn’t where it will stop and it didn’t stop, and it has unfolded.

I wrote a letter about my helper, and you can read it here: read here and here is more on it.

These past few months have made me realise that it is who God has called or told to help you that will help you. It is not about who knows you or who you know, and you can’t box God. That’s why I’d say you should not limit GOD because there is so much more you can enjoy in God. It isn’t over until you say so!!!

I was listening to gospel tunes one Sunday and the host said he was at the hall for his concert looking for money to balance up to secure the hall and that he called everyone he knew could help but help didn’t come and so a random person called him and said I’m sorry I can’t come to the concert and he was like this person should say what he has to say and let him find money and this person said he wanted to support him and sent the exact amount he needed to balance up. He was in shock and awe of how God works, but it worked together for his good.

It happened that one of the many days I would never forget has happened again, and I’m so glad it met me well.

Late last year, the laptop I was managing had to be given to my brother for his school work and then I started working and realized I even need a laptop more now combining with reading, so I opened a savings towards it that I will get in April because I was like I cannot use a year to save for laptop, I should get it earlier than that and I made some move. I’m not even close yet.

I asked people around me if they had a used laptop but they didn’t have and so it just occurred to me that I haven’t asked this one person and has it was unfolding, I told GOD that it must be completed and so she said she has but it had battery issues and later she just asked how much is it for the one I wanted to get, I asked a vendor and told her the price and she sent the exact amount to me.

I was in shock.

So it was time to get it, as I’m not staying at home, I asked the person I stay with for a plug, and he gave me one, and on Thursday, my baby was delivered. Funniest part was that the money I had wasn’t complete, and so he added money and got me the laptop and charger, the bag, and a mouse with it. Something I started to save for, which I will get by April, I got it before January ended, without my money going into it.

It is a testament that you can ask GOD for as much as you want and have no doubt in your heart that you’ll get it. Just so you know, someone who will help you won’t stress you for real.

Refer a friend

Thank you for reading to this point and praying that you ask God for whatever you need and be certain that you will get it. I was so certain about it, I didn’t know how, but it unfolded well and ended in praise. I’m still very happy and grateful to God because he did this for me, and a motivation for me to do more for him and also ask for what I need and not limit God.

Till I write to you again,

I’m Monica-Mary.

Leave a comment

Share Monica-Mary’s Newsletter

Refer a friend

Get more from Monica-Mary in the Substack app

Available for iOS and Android

Get the app

Hi, my gentle reader.

How are you doing and how was your day?

I’m good and my day was pretty good too.

My day went well. I went to church, slept, ate and did some work.

Leave a comment

So let’s dive right into it;

Living in answered prayers:

Last year, I followed my big mummy to her parish for their harvest in November and when it was time for the thanksgivings, they called primary, secondary, tertiary, NYSC but I didn’t belong to any of this categories because I’m done with the first three and I haven’t gone for NYSC but they called professionals and I said to myself, by the virtue of my B.SC Accounting degree, I’m an Accountant and so I went for that thanksgiving.

The word of God says;

“Thou shalt also decree a thing, and it shall be established unto thee: And the light shall shine upon thy ways.”

‭‭Job‬ ‭22‬:‭28‬.

I told God that as I’m dancing forward, let me have a job soon as I’m an Accountant and to God be the glory, I’m working as an Accountant currently. It just occurred to me recently that I decree a thing and he established it and light is shining on my path and I was like Oh my God!!! I literally prayed it into existence.

And the word of God says;

“I assure you that whoever tells this hill to get up and throw itself in the sea and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him.”

‭‭Mark‬ ‭11‬:‭23‬.

Still in awe! And it was done for me and it shall be done for you too…Amen.

Being met at my point of need because I asked God:

Who told him to give me the money, what’s going on? This left me in shock!!

Matthew 7:7-11 is the perfect description but the one that captures it the most is;

“As bad as you are, you know how to give good things to your children. How much more, then, will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭7‬:‭11‬.

Indeed he gave me good things because I asked him. Meet me at my point of need is a very good prayer I say every time even when I’m praying for someone because I might think they need A but they actually need B more and so you might not even know your specific need but when you say that, God knows and he will do it and you’d marvel at his doings. I always pray before asking anybody for something, just so I know if it’s the right step to take or I just stay still and so I prayed before I met with my Uncle.

On this blessed morning, I was going to ask my uncle for money for transport for the next day because it was the last money I had on me to go to work that day. So I was sitting in the living room waiting for him to come out so I can tell him and also tell him I was going and he just gave me 10,000 naira that I should add it to my transport fare money and I was like HOW? Like I couldn’t even say anything. I just thanked him and was just saying Thank you Jesus because how did he know I needed it.

So this week,

• Manifest what you want into existence. Say it with so much conviction and confidence.

• Ask God for what you need!

• Trust God more and always.

• Don’t depend on people, Depend on God.

• Always tell him to meet you at your point of needs because he is the one that sees all and knows it all.

• Have faith , believe it is done and give thanks for it ahead.

I pray this newsletter meets you well and gives you strength and grace to trust God always…Amen

Sending you lots of love and hugs. 🫂❤️

Till I write to you again,

I’m Monica-Mary.

Leave a comment

Share Monica-Mary’s Newsletter

So I use to judge people that download movies, any new movie and you are already downloading it with your data. Data that isn’t enough for my socials, I will now add downloading movies to it.

Never!!! Not me!!!

I’d always say I will wait and collect it from this person and a long list of people I’d collect movies from. But late last year, I started downloading movies with my data, 15 episodes K-drama movies, YouTube movies, American, etc, I used and still use my data to download it. I was in awe of my new self. I would even say to myself, even if my data finishes, I will have plenty of movies to keep watching but just maybe that’s how they felt too. That is on a lighter note.

Hi, my gentle reader. How are you doing and how was your day?

I’m good and my day was pretty good too.Travelled back to my base for work and preparing for work and my week ahead.

Leave a comment

But on a heavier and heaviest note, Just from one post, conversations or meet ups, some people have decided how the person does and just everything about them without knowing them for who they are. I’m not saying you can’t depict from these things but that doesn’t mean that’s who they are.

Just like Mr A that has the lousy attitude and everyone starts to call him trouble maker, in no time, he will actually become like that because that is how he is perceived to be or judged or looked down on to be.

In the gospel reading of today, John the Baptist was perceived to be the Messiah by the people and they started calling him that but he declined because he knows he is “ A forerunner of Christ” and not Christ himself. You can read; John 1:19-32.

It takes a lot of humility and courage to not become who you are judged to be especially if it comes with more benefits but disobedience to God. Knowing who you are in Christ and understanding God’s plan for your life helps you get through what you are being called not to be your reality and help you stay grounded.

The heaviest angle is for people that do something in secret or haven’t done it but because it isn’t out yet, they crucify someone else for it that is known. It always comes back and you won’t even know how you got there.

The word of God says;

““Do not judge others, so that God will not judge you, for God will judge you in the same way you judge others, and he will apply to you the same rules you apply to others. Why, then, do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the log in your own eye? How dare you say to your brother, ‘Please, let me take that speck out of your eye,’ when you have a log in your own eye? You hypocrite! First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will be able to see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭7‬:‭1‬-‭5‬.

We all have our own in our body so let God help and fix us with it rather than judging other people and adding it to our problems.

You can support, help, advise or pray for them through it rather than casting stones on them before Jesus comes. Just like the woman caught in adultery.

The word of God says;

“In our Law Moses commanded that such a woman must be stoned to death. Now, what do you say?” They said this to trap Jesus, so that they could accuse him. But he bent over and wrote on the ground with his finger. As they stood there asking him questions, he straightened up and said to them, “Whichever one of you has committed no sin may throw the first stone at her.””

‭‭John‬ ‭8‬:‭5‬-‭7‬ ‭

None of them could stay because they and we are all guilty one way of another. So let’s try to not judge people.

The word of God says,

“He straightened up and said to her, “Where are they? Is there no one left to condemn you?” “No one, sir,” she answered. “Well, then,” Jesus said, “I do not condemn you either. Go, but do not sin again.”

‭‭John‬ ‭8‬:‭10‬-‭11‬ ‭

Like the word of God says above, this is also a reminder that God doesn’t condemn us, he convicts us by the Holy Spirit. This is a specific awareness that you have done something wrong. Its purpose is to lead us towards change and back to God. It is often described as a “nudge” that encourages you to confess and move forward with hope. He doesn’t push us away from him, instead he wants us closer than before.

So this week, let’s be more intentional about our fellowship with God, not judging people and try to help those who are down in one way or the other.

Sending you lots of love and hugs. 🫂❤️

Till I write to you again,

I’m Monica-Mary.

Leave a comment

Share Monica-Mary’s Newsletter

I offended my friend especially by doing something he told me specifically not to do, not because I wanted to hurt him or anything but it just happened and after that, I apologized and made up for it and we are good.

Since then, I tried not to do something like that because I like this person and when you love someone you tend to want to offend them less because these shortcomings bit by bit wound up the relationship in no time.

I’m writing this while listening to Reckless Love of God by Steady Worship.

Hi, my gentle reader. How are you doing and how was your day?

I’m good and my day was pretty good too. Your girl is now a corporate …….. Yesssss, I’m now working as an Accountant. It took time but it happened and I’m so grateful, proud and excited for the journey ahead.

Leave a comment

To what we have for today:

This can happen in any relationship even with family and friends. Someone offending the other person and asking for forgiveness for that thing and gets forgiven and everything goes back to normal.

I saw it somewhere that “when you finally realize it isn’t about cutting off sin. It is about loving God so much that your desire to sin no longer exists” and that hits me.

God’s love for us is everlasting, it is undeserving and reckless. He loves us through it all and he loves us the way we are.

The word of God says;

“Yes, may you come to know his love—although it can never be fully known—and so be completely filled with the very nature of God.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭3‬:‭19‬.‬‬

Just like our family, friends and partners that we love so much, hardly will you want to offend them intentionally because that will cause a break in your relationships depending on what you did.

In the same way, it occurred to me that loving God so much that sin becomes something I don’t want to partake in because I know it will affect my relationship with God and I don’t want that to happen so I drown myself in God’s love and let it flow through me to him and to others making everyone see his glory shine through me and praise him in heaven.

The word of God says;

“In the same way your light must shine before people, so that they will see the good things you do and praise your Father in heaven.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5‬:‭16‬ .‬‬

So one resolution for you and I is to PRAY for the GRACE to LOVE GOD.

The word of God says;

Jesus answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and the most important commandment. The second most important commandment is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself.’”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭22‬:‭37‬-‭39‬ ‭

In loving God, it also shows in how we treat people( people that we know or don’t know, people that you can benefit from if you help them or people you can’t benefit from if you help them, etc).

The word of God says;

“Instead, be kind and tender-hearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4‬:‭32‬.

I hope this serves a reminder to you and blesses you as much as the thoughts and writing it to you does to me.

Lest I forget, I guess it isn’t too late to wish you a Happy New Year and I will complete the Pre/Post convocation series I started soonest. Due to my recent transition, I’m still balancing myself that’s why.

Welcome to your year of becoming more of who God has called you to be!!!

Cheers to many more writings from me to you and hearing good news from you always. For me; this is something I would do. Audacity to occupy!!!

Sending you lots of love and hugs. 🫂❤️

Till I write to you again,

I’m Monica-Mary.

Leave a comment

Share Monica-Mary’s Newsletter

Ever fallen ill every two weeks and felt it will never end? That was me in my 100 level and 200 level days. It was like they didn’t get what was wrong with me and it kept coming back. I cried a lot those times because why does it have it to be like this. It was scary but I’d pull through.

Hi, my gentle reader. How are you doing and how was your day?

I’m doing great and my day went well.

Just a little rant: I had finished writing , only to copy it here and it deleted, I couldn’t cry but here I’m writing it again to you.

Leave a comment

For DAY 4

In my 100 level days, at the climax of raining season, I usually fall sick and whenever I fell sick like that, if I haven’t taken drip, it wasn’t over. But even after taking drip, it didn’t stop.

I missed tests, missed classes because of this and whenever I did test, they’d say malaria and it was very high.

People started to ask if I was SS. One time, I didn’t eat anything for five days, drank only water and still vomited, I was weak to last, my parents had to come and pick me and straight to hospital. They said I had typhoid and malaria 3+ and health centre doctors couldn’t detect that ? It was that crazy.

I thought change in environment caused it but it continued in my 200 level.

During those times, small stress, I’m falling sick already, small rain and cold, I was always shivering like I have been kept in cold room for days. To the point that every time I went to health centre in my school , they always do pregnancy test for me. It was that bad and it could have been worse but when God says it is time, it is time!!!

Special thanks to my cousins and roommates who took care of me those times. I really stressed them. The more reason why I needed to be okay in time.

So I went for one praise night, someone gave his testimony about how he prayed about his health and two years in and he hasn’t fallen sick since then.

I tapped into that testimony a lot and told God to heal me completely and he did. Two years in, and no sickness at all.

He came into my health storm and calmed it totally, he did heal me completely and for this, I’m grateful.

This is me writing my testimony just like that man that said his own that night.

When I was given two posts in my church , I thought to myself, how will I do it? With the stress and all. Hope my health won’t fail me. So I had a very expressive conversation with God on how he has to strengthen and help me throughout so I don’t break down and he did, it was as smooth as ever. Felt like I wasn’t doing anything, like it was my routine and I just took it and worked in those offices effortlessly.

Having conversations with God rather than just requesting or just stating everything you want gives more clarity and helps you get feedback from God.

Thank you for reading the Day 4 of my gratitude. Tune in for day 5 tomorrow. Praying that God’s strength and healing is made available for you in times of need…Amen.

Till I write to you again,

I’m Monica-Mary.

Leave a comment

Growing up and up till now, I can’t relate to I love my father’s side than my mother’s side and vice versa because both sides of my parents are amazing.

One big family and I love it for me.

Hi, my gentle reader. How are you doing and how was your day?

I’m good and had to take a break from the challenge because of the back to back things I had to do. I write spontaneously so I couldn’t have drafted it down and be sending it daily. My day went well as usual. I’m now a graduate, everyone!!👩‍🎓

Leave a comment

For DAY 2 which is today, I’m Grateful for and To My Family (Extended Family).

To my cousins:

My cousins were my first friends, aside from being family, we are friends. We talk about anything and everything and relate so much with each other. Thank you for your support and love all through my undergraduate journey and the constant checkup and coming through in every way, I really appreciate y’all.

To my uncles and aunts:

My uncles and aunts, thank you for your constant support and checking in. The giveaways, the “send your account details” days, the vibes, the ginger. I really appreciate y’all. All your support came in at the right time and I’m forever grateful for it.

To my big mummies and big daddies who also could pass as Grandpa and Grandma to me: For your unwavering love and encouragement and making sure everything went well for me. I really appreciate.

I heard a lot of “I’m proud of you”, “thank you for making us proud” on my convocation day and I felt so loved and appreciated and honored. The journey wasn’t easy but the burden was less stressful with your support.

Thank you my family for everything. It’s so emotional for me reminiscing on everything and just grateful.

Thank you for reading the Day 3 of my gratitude. Tune in for another one tomorrow. I might be so teary for tomorrow’s own because it’s my health we’d talk about and concerning my health, God did his thing a lot.

Till I write to you again,

I’m Monica-Mary.

Leave a comment

Share Monica-Mary’s Newsletter

For every time that someone tells me they love my family and how we always celebrate, I should be a billionaire by now. My family is an awesome one and I’m so proud to be a part of this family.

From my father and mother’s side, awesome people and the love we share makes me so grateful for and to them.

Hi, my gentle reader. How are you doing and how was your day?

My day started with clearance, going to the bank and then coming back to my hostel. Preparing for my convocation shoot and I have been up and about. Everything just needs to come out nice.

Leave a comment

For DAY 2 which is today, I’m Grateful for and To My Family. So for today, I’m showing Gratitude to My Parents and my siblings.

To my Parents:

The best gift ever. I could remember when I wanted to enter university and I had D7 in Maths. I cried because my result was too perfect for maths to be D7 and they took me to a private school and the school said I could only do philosophy and I told them I can’t do that course, I will write WAEC and JAMB again and enter OAU for accounting and they supported me all the way till I got admission and now that I’m graduating, I thank God for them.

To my Daddy:

My mentor and my senior colleague. I’m my Daddy’s girl for life and I love it for me. There is no day that goes by that he doesn’t call me, we literally got this degree together. Every information about my school, he got it before I did and I don’t even know how. I don’t know how to ask for things or help and he knows so before I ask, he just knows I need this and he is sorting it out for me already. Thank you so much my Daddy for your love, support, care and for everything.

To my Mummy:

My mum and calling me “babe” 🤝. My woman fr. Ever supportive , I just need to let her know about it and she is helping me out with it. For my project, she was on top of my head about it asking how it is going and what is left to be done. Thank you so much my mummy for your unwavering love, prayers over me and everything. I’m grateful for it all.

For my siblings:

I’m the first child and I have two sisters and one brother and they are my babies. My youngest sister once told my parents that “ Sister Monica is an accountant, she will have money, tell her to send money” and I was still an undergraduate then. The trust and faith they have in me as their big sister gives me the confidence to keep going and get this degree. On days that I’m feeling down, just calling home and hearing their voices makes me feel so much better even thought it ends sometimes with “send us data”, it is always from a place of love and for this I’m grateful. I love you my babies so much, I’m so happy to call you, my siblings.

I love my parents so much and I pray my parents reap the fruits of your labour… 🙏

My eyes are so teary writing this but I wrote it anyways. I guess that’s why I have been delaying writing it because I’d cry. It’s so emotional for me reminiscing on everything and just grateful.

Thank you for reading the Day 2 of my gratitude. Tune in for continuation tomorrow.

Till I write to you again,

I’m Monica-Mary.

Leave a comment

Share Monica-Mary’s Newsletter

Yesterday, in the spirit of happy new month, someone said “Happy New Month of Demonstrative gratitude” and that sentence sank into me like this is what I want to do.

So it will be 10 days of Demonstrative Gratitude. Also like someone said when you appreciate someone or apologize for something, name the thing specifically rather than generalizing it making them know what you like or you are apologizing for and so it is a Specific Demonstrative Gratitude and it starts today. 😍🎉🥳

Hi, my gentle reader. How are you doing and how was your day?

I’m doing great and my day went well. I slept, ate and watched Susan Pwajok movie and Bel- Air episode 4. I have a lot to say about the former but later and for Bel-Air, they are dropping it one by one and I’m so impatient so I’m seeing it as it comes.

Leave a comment

For DAY 1 which is today, I’m Grateful for and To the Trinity in one God.

I’m Grateful for and to God in my life;

For his provision and protection,

For his faithfulness,

For calling me his own,

For loving me and making me his favourite,

For his goodness and glory that radiates through and all over me,

For his Grace and mercy over my life,

He has been good all the way.

For 5 years +, he saw me through it all. I experienced God in ways I couldn’t explain, in ways that I knew it can only be God on this one, encounters that strengthened my faith.

For his strength and his help always, I know how many times I say “God help me” in a day because who else can be there for me like God.

My source and my helper. I’m grateful.

For His son, Jesus Christ.

Thank you Jesus at the least thing that happens, because he did it for me. He stood by me through it all and never left me. My friend indeed.

Thank You, Jesus.

For his Spirit, The Holy Spirit.

My teacher, my counselor and the one who helps and speaks to me. The one who gives me utterances and helps me always.

“Holy Spirit remind me” and he always does. He is always with me and I feel it always and bringing him into things helped me a lot.

You’d be wondering why I’m saying it one by one, I believe there are three persons in one God and each one has his duties and these three persons in one God played their roles throughout my undergraduate days and for this, I’m forever Grateful.

I can say I knew God better in my undergraduate days, like I knew him for myself and on my own to say that this is where I belong and no turning back.

Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

I’m very very grateful that you saw your daughter through and it’s few days to me closing this chapter and entering a new one and I know you have gone ahead of me to prepare a place for me.

Metalokan Esheyyyy ooo. 🙏🙏🙏

Thank you for reading the Day 1 of my Specific Demonstrative Gratitude. Tune in for the next 9 days for each day’s episode.

Till I write to you again,

I’m Monica-Mary.

Leave a comment

Share Monica-Mary’s Newsletter

Metalokan means three in one

Esheyyyy means Thank You.

Hi, my gentle reader. How are you doing and how was your day?

Leave a comment

I’m doing great and my day, stressful. I travelled to Ife and I boarded a car. They squeezed us like sardine inside the car just to get their own profit and we were even telling them but it went to deaf ears. I was so irritated. We thank God for safe journey.

I have experienced God’s help so many times and so I’m going to share three stories. This is to tell you that God’s plans are of good and not of evil and it will happen at his appointed time.

PHONE-LESS:

I had two phones and suddenly, I had none.

My phone spoilt on the 14th of February , 2025 and It was exams period so I just got my materials from my friend and put it on the other one. On the 21st of February, 2025, the second one spoilt too and I couldn’t even cry. I transferred my materials to my laptop from my friend and so that was how I read for my exams.

One thing was sure, I kept praying to God asking for a new phone from him and my birthday is on the 28th of that same month and I was just thinking of how I won’t post of my birthday and see all the wishes I’m going to get.

On Sunday evening, another friend reached out to me and said she has two phone and she can give me one as she has been prompted to give me that phone and this was someone I didn’t ask for spare phone from or discussed about me not having a phone. People were even like you are still smiling and all and you don’t have a phone. Life goes on. She gave me the phone on Wednesday and I signed into my iCloud and did everything just before my birthday and I posted and was very happy. I got my new phone in April so I used her phone till I got mine. I’m always in awe of how God is intentional about me and he just sent someone to give me a phone. I was using an iPhone 6 and my friend gave me an iPhone 8. It just worked together for my good.

FEEDING FOR HARVEST:

We were having harvest in my chaplaincy and we needed to source for funds for feeding. I always pray ahead of something and so I had been praying about the harvest and how well it should go. When it was time, I told my committee members to reach out to people to help with feeding. I reached out to my friends, people I haven’t talked to in a while and to my utmost surprise, they all sent money for that cause. I told them what it was for and they didn’t hesitate. Christians and Muslim alike, they all sent money and it struck me that indeed you need your own people always.

I prayed for it but it came only after I reached out to some specific people, that help might not come if you just stay in one place without making any move on how to get help.

AN ANGEL IN A BIKEMAN :

I was coming back from Ife and I got to New garage very late. No keke and cab and people were many so any bike they see, it was an all man for himself kind of thing. I was just saying and praying, I won’t be stranded. As I stood there, I stopped a bike and he asked where? I said Odo-ona and he said okay. I asked how much? But not response. I was just praying in my mind and we got to Odo-Ona, I got down and asked how much again and he said don’t worry and zoomed off.

I was in shock like out of everyone waiting, it was me you chose to carry and help and that’s how God shows up every time through people you do not expect.

I showed three different ways these help came to me and I have experienced:

• Asking for help from God and him helping you out without you doing anything.

• Asking for help from God and him helping you while you also do your own part.

• Asking him for help while doing your own part in obedience, trust and faith that you’d get there and him providing all that you need along the way.

God motivates people to help, it isn’t your cries or your pleas.

Invoke the Holy Spirit, he is our helper and he is close to us.

Acts‬ ‭17‬:‭27‬ ‭says : “He did this so that they would look for him, and perhaps find him as they felt around for him. Yet God is actually not far from any one of us”. He is actually not far at all, so call on the Holy Spirit for help at any time seeking him with your heart like Jeremiah 29:13 says: You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” and how do we seek God, through prayers and reading his word.

The three things from my story are :

• Believing in God.

• Having faith and taking that leap of faith as the seed and let it grow by doing what he has asked you to do without doubting.

• Just like the Bike man that I didn’t know from anywhere, you surrender it all to God knowing that he will get you to the expected end or destination you are going.

He is the God of the seed and the Harvest. So let him plant that seed of faith, allowing him to lead you and you let it grow by obedience and trust in God and harvest bountiful fruits from God.

It was quite a lengthy one and I know it’s worth it.

Thank you for reading to this point and praying that you allow God help you, send helpers to you and you also help people when you have the means to…Amen🫂❤️

Till I write to you again,

I’m Monica-Mary.

Leave a comment

Share

Share Monica-Mary’s Newsletter

That brings me to the topic of today. My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth because someone can be holding that which you need the most in their hands and still not hand it over to you but God knows what’s best for you so he will give you the best.

Hi, my gentle reader. How are you doing and how was your day?

Leave a comment

I’m doing great and my day started with my induction registration closing today and me seeing tons of documents I still need to find and submit. I was so disturbed until I got it done. As I was doing it, I was begging God that please let this things upload on their portal because I was so frustrated. Then I remembered I should have written and posted this newsletter on Tuesday but I was just trying to perfect it and make everything perfect. As I was dressing up this evening, this came to mind:

God is the God of perfection. When you are waiting for things to get perfect all by yourself using your own power before starting or doing what he has put in your mind to do, it is like you are leaving him out of the equation. He knows you ain’t perfect and he is telling you to go ahead because he will perfect it for you.

The anchor of this newsletter is Trusting God. Looking at it deeper, it is more of focusing on God, calling upon him for help and talking to him about everything before asking man as help will come from God before you know it.

Psalm 121: 1-2 says “I look to the mountains; where will my help come from? My help will come from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.”

The “mountains” can be anything—struggles, pains, etc looking at it and wondering how you’d get out of this situation and the answer follows, “My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth” and hope in God doesn’t disappoint and so that help will surely come…Amen.

This is a gentle reminder to put your trust in God always and look up to him because our help comes from the Lord.

I don’t want this to be a lengthy one so I had to cut it and so I will be sharing my experiences about the help I have received from God and a testament that God is good and I carry the goodness of God and it shouldn’t be hidden and so I have shared part of his goodness in my life with you today and I will continue tomorrow. I’m a testimony and my life will always be a testimony.

Those three words — God, help me is all he wants to hear from you. Giving total surrender to his help and embracing his strength. I’m sure God has helped you in one way or the other, you can share with me in the comment and Catch you tomorrow for the second episode.

Leave a comment

Thank you for reading to this point and praying that you allow God help you and you also help people when you have the means to…Amen🫂❤️

Till I write to you again,

I’m Monica-Mary.

Leave a comment

Share Monica-Mary’s Newsletter