She questions everything

She never get any answers

She doesn’t care for what she has

She is always looking for something she doesn’t have

O’ sad litle girl

She isn’t afraid of death

She is haunted by life

Nothing could make her smile

O’ sad litle girl

She is anxious for future

And sad about past

Never lives in present

O’ sad little girl

Everything in the world couldn’t make her happy

Everything in beyond wouldn’t cherish her

She lost everything

O’ sad litle girl

I vividly remember writing this after my 10th-grade result, in sheer disappointment. I remember being in such a deep state of melancholy, wondering how my result could possibly be like that.

Although, now in retrospect, my marks seem so fine,like 96% or something similar. Even my family was like, “You did so well,” and all that.

But now when I think back, I’m like,life has humbled me so much. Now I’m thanking God for simply passing my subjects.

I don’t know, I just felt like sharing this. How much can a person change in the span of four years? I only wish I could have been a little gentler with my younger self.

Better late than never.

I was watching this show the other day where someone says something bad about the main character ,like a snide comment and she just unravels. She goes full obsessive, trying to figure out why would someone say that about her? Constantly thinking and spiralling about that remark. And the wildest part is she is doing so well in her life and one bad review is all it takes to make her go insane.

Later on ,she even confronts the person who made that remark and starts explaining herself ,giving her all the reasons why she shouldn’t have said something like that about her.Meanwhile the other person is just staring her like why is she so much bothered.

Funny thing happens,while explaining herself she has an epiphany, “like why am i explaining myself to someone who doesnt even know me?” I am so much accomplished and loved and, why I m so shaken by one remark?!

This interests me alot ,because that’s exactly what we do, isn’t it? Well, we might not confront but the spiral and obsession is something so relatable.We get one bad review, one negative comment and we treat it as end of the world.We give it so much undue attention.

Without even asking ourselves whether that person even matters to us, or whether they know us at all.Sometimes people are flaky ,they say whatever sometimes its just heat of the moment,or maybe they actually dont like us.We can spend hours days or even weeks reasoning our way through why they said it, but there is nothing we can do to change someone’s perception about us.

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And this is exactly how it rob us of good things. While we’re busy thinking about the bad thing, we’re not present for the actual good stuff happening around us. We become so good at observing the bad things we stop noticing our blessings.We inflict this anxiety on ourself for such a petty reason,we hold a grudge against someone who’s probably already forgotten they said it.How can one person’s opinion outweighs our entire support system.

On the contrary - the good stuff? The people who actually love us? We hardly give it any importance.

If a friend compliments us.We barely give it any attention.Our first instinct is , “they’re just being nice” We laugh it off. If a stranger says something kind, we dont give it much importance.We don’t turn it over in our heads at 1am the way we do with the one bad comment. We don’t lie awake defending ourselves against praise. We have this selective memory where criticism sticks like glue and love slides right off.

So,the bottom line is we can’t control people’s perception about us.People are free to choose what they want ,but it shouldnt dictate our views about ourselves.Someone can decide something about us based on one sentence, one bad day, one out-of-context moment, and there's nothing you can do to manage that perception into something else. You can explain yourself into the ground and still be misunderstood.

You don’t owe every remark a confrontation.That said, not every critical comment is a jab. Sometimes we genuinely need to improve, and that feedback is worth sitting with.But if you reflect and there's nothing to it, let it go. Don't waste your most precious asset time on the whys and hows of things. Good and bad things are both just part of life. Don't let the negative one block out all the positive ones!

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately: how the good we do for other people is always returned to us in a greater way. How Allah SWT never lets our kindness go to waste and rewards us for it. So, by doing good for others, we are actually welcoming ease into our lives.

But Before I go on, I want to clarify something , the examples I’m about to give are simply illustrations of what this can look like in our lives.I’m only using them to explain the idea of how goodness can bring ease into our lives in ways we may not always recognize.

Here’s what I mean.

If you make dua for a friend while they’re not around or just quietly asking good for them when they’re busy living their life elsewhere ,something shifts. The people around you start speaking well of you. If you praise someone in their absence, people end up praising you in yours. If you’re the person who gives other people compliments, your words ends up being the thing that saves someone else from a bad day and Allah makes ease in your affairs. If you make someone feel seen and heard,Allah makes you beautiful infront of the eyes of the people you love.If you conceal someone’s flaws ,Allah hide your sins.If you help someone at work ,you end up doing better in your own career. The good we give will find its way back to us.

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There’s a hadith I keep coming back to:

“Whoever relieves a believer of a hardship from the hardships of this world, Allah will relieve him of a hardship from the hardships of the Day of Resurrection.”

“Whoever alleviates the situation of one in difficulty, Allah will alleviate his situation in this world and the Hereafter.”

“Whoever conceals (the faults of) a Muslim, Allah will conceal his (faults) in this world and the Hereafter.”

— Sahih Muslim 2699a

It’s not conditional ,Allah will help u regardless, but being kind and helping people will put so much barakah in your life that can’t be explained in words.You become a channel for someone else’s ease, and ease finds its way back to you, just not always from the same direction you sent it.

Honestly,if we are guaranteed Allah’s help by helpin someone.

Our matters will be in hand of someone who created us !

Could there be any greater deal ?

If you help someone financially , Allah SWT doesn’t let your wealth decrease; He returns it to you in a greater way.

Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

"Charity does not decrease wealth, no one forgives another except that Allah increases him in honor, and no one humbles himself for the sake of Allah except that Allah raises his status." (Sahih Muslim 2588)

And this doesn’t means have any expectations from the people you help .You help them for sake of Allah.

You help someone, and then forget about it , don’t keep a quiet tally waiting for them to return the favor. Because the help was never really coming from them in the first place. It comes from Allah, and it can arrive through absolutely anyone, in a form you’d never have guessed.

Maybe the person you helped never thinks of you again. Maybe your help comes back through a stranger, or a coincidence, or a door opening somewhere you didn’t even know you’d knocked. That’s the part that takes trust releasing the person from the debt the moment you’ve helped them, and letting Allah handle the returning in ways you can’t comprehend.

But one important thing you should hold on to

“ helping doesn’t mean neglecting your own responsibilities.”

It doesn’t mean leaving your own work undone to be available for everyone.It means be kinder when you can.It doesn’t mean to be forgetful of your obligations,repsonsiblities and work.The point is Life is hard for everyone ,if you can be a source of relief for everyone, be it.

Because we really don’t know how much someone needs it. The praise you give behind someone’s back, the dua you make when no one’s watching, the small financial help you didn’t have to offer, the kindness you extended not knowing what kind of day the other person was quietly having none of it disappears. It moves through the world in ways you’ll probably never trace back to yourself.

All I’m trying to say is: be kind whenever you can.Because this help is a favour to yourself,the more you help the more things get easier for you.

For those who may not know him, Robin Williams was an American actor and comedian known for his extraordinary ability to make people laugh and make them feel seen. From Good Will Hunting and Dead Poets Society to Mrs. Doubtfire, he became one of the most beloved performers of his generation.

In most of his movies,he lean towards the role of a saviour.Someone who sees people’s complexities ,see the pain they are trying to hide.He takes the role of someone who insipres people,who breaks the seterotypes,who doesnt give up on people even when they give up on themselves.Someone who believes in forgiveness and extends grace to people when they need it the most,the one who lights a flame inside them .

In Dead Poets Society, his role is of a teacher who breaks all the sterotype of what a teacher is supposed to be ,who tells his students world exist beyond a classroom, that they need to find themselves ,explore their youth and hold a deisre to be free ,to create, to yearn.Someone who sees his students and hasn’t confined himself in the arc of curriculum .He see his students as individulas ,tells them they should puruse whatever they are passionate about.

This role alone has inspired millions of people, myself included, so much so that we’re all quietly out here looking for our own Mr. Keating to save us.

Another instance is Good Will Hunting ,he plays a role of a therapist who helps his patient- Will, while battling with his own grief.On surface his patient is someone who is angry and arrogant but he is able to see him beyond his anger.He recognizes his anger is a protective shell built by him because of his past traumas.

There's a famous scene where he tells Will, again and again, that it's not his fault.He first laugh it off but when his therapist repeat it enough times,he breaks down.This is such a powerful scene and the emphasis on the fact its not our fault for the circumstances we are born into ,for things we had to learn before time,for the struggles we had to endure.On surface we all know ,its not our fault but someone who is a mentor figure telling us that its not our fault has a whole different impact.Even if you have watched only this scene of the movie without having the contextit will still make you speechless.It is that good.

Another instance is Awakenings, where he plays the role of a doctor looking after patients who have spent decades in a state where they cannot speak, move, or respond. Everyone around them has accepted that there is nothing more to be done. But he refuses to see them as helpless. He looks beyond their condition and believes there is still some part of them that can be reached.

He discovers an experimental drug and decides to try it on them, and what follows feels almost like a miracle. People who had been motionless for decades suddenly wake up. They speak, laugh, walk, and experience life again, all because he refused to give up on them when everyone else had.

And perhaps that's what makes the role so heartbreaking: he couldn't save them, but he gave them the chance to wake up.

The pattern beneath the roles

There seems to be a striking similarity between the people Robin Williams played and the person people remembered him to be in real life.Again and again, he is remembered as someone who notice pain, see what others overlook, and go out of his way to reach someone who is struggling.Maybe that’s why his acting was so powerful because it reflected who he was in person.There are countless stories that seem to reveal the same person behind the performances.

Christopher Reeve (he showed up when his friend was at his lowest)
After Reeve’s 1995 riding accident left him paralyzed from the neck down, Williams was among the first friends to visit him in hospital. He disguised himself as a Russian proctologist and made Reeve laugh for the first time since the accident. Reeve later wrote that Williams helped him realize that, somehow, he was going to be okay. Williams continued supporting him afterward, including helping with practical needs and supporting Reeve’s foundation.

Koko the gorilla (his instinct to comfort wasn’t limited to people)
When Williams met Koko in 2001, she had been grieving the death of her lifelong companion and reportedly had not laughed for more than six months. During their meeting, they played and laughed together, and the Gorilla Foundation remembered Williams as becoming remarkably gentle and empathetic around her.

3. St. Jude children (he used his fame to make vulnerable people feel important)
Williams supported St. Jude for about a decade, giving his time and appearing with patients. One patient’s mother remembered him as humble and compassionate, saying that he made them feel like the stars. That detail is particularly useful for your argument because it shows that his kindness wasn’t just about performing for people ,it was about how he treated them personally.

He was a real life hero ,his kindness and heroism wasn’t limited to stage but was felt by his loved ones and strangers alike.

I can’t pin point that what is about his performaces ,that gives people so much hope,and he somehow rejuvinates enthusiasm for life.I watched his movies in my teens and somehow it helped me alot.He insipired me to be myself ,to do something that would make me happy and alive .

And then comes the part that breaks my heart.

In the final years of his life, Robin Williams was battling Lewy body dementia, a devastating neurological disease that can severely affect both mental and physical health. He was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease while alive, but an autopsy later revealed the underlying Lewy body disease.His illness brought severe psychological and neurological symptoms, and in August 2014, after years of battling unseen struggles, Robin Williams died by suicide.

And this is what shakes me to the core: here was a man who spent so much of his life saving people in one way or another. Through his art, he gave people hope, comfort and laughter. In real life, he showed up for his friends, children and strangers, always trying to make someone’s burden a little lighter. Yet there was a pain inside him that he could not tell anyone.

Maybe that is why he understood loneliness and grief so deeply. Maybe he knew what it felt like to carry things no one else could see.It is just so devastating to learn the man who literally went out of his way to make people feel seen and make people feel better.And when he was in need ,no one could see his pain and grief!

Perhaps that is what we should take from his story: to be a little more watchful of the people who are always there for everyone else. Maybe the ones who give the most are sometimes the ones who need help the most.

Robin Williams is gone, but his art and the kindness he left behind will continue to reach millions. His characters will keep reminding us to be kinder, braver, more alive.And perhaps that is his greatest legacy, he made people feel less alone, even after he was gone.

O Captain, My Captain. You will be missed!!

I used to think a lot about how some people don’t feel the urge to commit a certain sin, while others can’t seem to get themselves out of the same sin. This baffled me until I saw this text on Instagram “How can I judge someone for the sins I have no desire for?” and it got me thinking about sins and the struggle we face to get out of them

As we know, we all have different personalities, backgrounds, and circumstances. The same is true for our temptations and weaknesses.

Some sins seem avoidable for us , and when we see someone committing that sin, the thought “I would never do that” comes to mind, which is a flawed approach. The thing is we don’t know the level of desire someone has for a particular sin .You maybe don’t have any desire to perform a certain sin meanwhile someone has a high level of desire for the same sin. So judging people for commiting a sin that you don’t wanna commit and without knowing the actual circumstances of that person to be involved in that sin is not right. For example,Some people battle anger every single day. Others can hardly remember the last time they lost their temper. Some struggle with lowering their gaze while others find that test comparatively easy. Some fight the urge to lie, others wrestle with envy, pride, greed, or despair.

So the question arises: how can we judge other people for the sin we have no desire to commit? Maybe their test is that sin, your test might be something else. The person you judge for one weakness may be patiently fighting a battle you have never had to fight.

Imagine if Allah had given you the same desires, the same opportunities, and the same internal battles as another person. Would you still be certain of your response? None of us can answer that.

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One of Shaytan’s greatest victories is not only convincing people to sin, but convincing others to feel morally superior. The truth is none of us are saints , so you shouldn’t think if Allah has saved you from a sin,and you don’t commit a particular sin,you are better and closer to ALLAH then the other person. You should hate the sin without feeling superior to the sinner. The moment we begin thinking “at least I’m not like them,” we risk forgetting that Allah knows the strength of every temptation, the weight of every struggle, every tear shed in private, every urge resisted, every relapse, and every sincere repentance.

Our journeys are different.Our temptations are different. And Allah, the Most Just, knows every one of them better than we ever could.

So before judging another person, remember: you only know what they did. You do not know what they resisted.

To be clear, I am by no means trying to normalize sin. My point is simply this: you might not have the same level of desire for a sin as someone else does, so that isn’t a reason to judge them. Extend some grace instead.

And for those who are actually caught up in a struggle with a particular sin, the answer isn’t to give up on yourself. Keep repenting even when you feel like you don’t deserve forgiveness because the one who created us is more kinder to us than we are to ourselves. Don’t lose your connection with Allah. He will find you a way home.

So the point is : we need to stop judging people for the sins just because you think you will never be involved in that sin. To be clear, this doesn’t mean stay silent. You can advise your friends. You can still guide them to be better. What I am saying is while doing so ,don’t think you’re better than them and refrain from statements like “you won’t be forgiven now” or “you will go to hell.”

There’s a hadith about this once, a man devoted to worship came across another man who was known for his sins, and declared, “By Allah, Allah will not forgive so-and-so.” Allah responded: “Who is he who swears about Me that I would not grant pardon to so-and-so? I have granted pardon to so-and-so and blotted out his deeds”

Reference : Sahih Muslim 2621

This narration reminds us that we do not have the right to decide who is worthy of Allah’s mercy. A person may be struggling with a sin we find easy to avoid, while we remain unaware of their private battles, repentance, and efforts to change. Sin is not a measure of a person's entire relationship with Allah, and feeling superior because we are protected from a particular sin can itself become a dangerous form of arrogance.

Remember on the Day of Judgment, we won’t answer for someone else’s test. We’ll answer for our own.

Yesterday I wrote an article about careful use of social media.It’s still sitting in my drafts.The whole article I argue about being aware of trends and discussing pros and cons of using social media .Trying to convince readers that excessive use and abandoning social media are both not good for you.You should try to do moderation.But despite all the reasoning I couldn’t convince myself .

I agree whatever I wrote in that article comprised of heavy reasoning and logic.But this morning I felt despite all the logic I want to deactivate my socials.I dont care If I am left behind .I want detox.I wanna live ,I wanna actually live in a world where my thoughts are mine,where my choices comes from me.I dont need opinion or taglines dictating whtether my behaviour is in compliance with the internet's new unanimous trend.I feel trapped . I feel my authenticity is bottling up inside me, and every day I push my ideas further inside. I fear a day would come no original idea would come to me and I’ll become the person the world dictated me to be instead of the person I was meant to become.

Sorry!!! I cant cope with this parasocial comparison. One post would put me crying in my bed.The daunting fear of falling behind.The timelines set for certain things in lives set on internet.

"If you dont get a job by this age?”

“If you dont act a certain way then you are bad?”

“If your opinion is different from other,then you are a pickme?”

CAN I BREATHE FOR A MINUTE?

CAN I LIVE AS I AM?

WHO MADE THESE RULES?

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The comparison,the agony and the stinging pain in my heart.I don’t wanna be the person who become insensitive to other people’s pain.Scrolling past the horrific news and feel nothing in my heart.When did i become so self centred and so insensitive to other people’s pain?

Stalking and lurking other people online?Seeing what they are upto?Are they ahead of me?

What if they are ahead of me? So,what someone else’s blessings arent mine failure.Constantly being drawn towards scarcity mindset.

Is this what I have come to ?

Is this the era of enlightment?

I know the beneifts of social media but for me the cons outweighs.I feel every passing day I am losing my true self and becoming a person who I can’t even recognise.

I want to be free.I want to be the little girl again,the one who believed glitter hairpins were treasures, who never measured her worth against strangers, who was empathetic, who believed kindness wasn't weakness and that the world was still waiting to be changed.

Comparison holds far more power than we give it credit for.I’ve been reflecting on the concept of comparison for quite some time, and I’ve come to realize just how quietly destructive it can be.

You can be perfectly happy with your life until you hear that someone else got promoted. Suddenly, everything wrong with your job becomes impossible to ignore.

Your friend buys a new car, and the ride you’ve always been grateful for suddenly feels inadequate.Nothing about your life actually changed.Only your perspective did.

Now, I don’t believe comparison is always bad. Hear me out. It can be useful when it motivates you to improve. It can push you to work harder, and become a better version of yourself.But another person should never become the permanent measuring stick for your worth.As cliché as it sounds,

the only person you should consistently compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday.

What Comparison actually costs

It blinds you to your blessings.

You may already have more than you once prayed for. Yet the moment someone has something bigger, better, or newer, gratitude quietly turns into dissatisfaction.

Comparison has a way of making abundance feel like scarcity.

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:

“Look at those who are beneath you and do not look at those who are above you, for it is more suitable that you should not consider as less the blessing of Allah.”

It makes you question your own abilities.

Instead of appreciating your progress, you begin wondering if you’re good enough.You start doubting your intelligence, your talent, your appearance, your career,even when there was nothing wrong with them before.

It traps you in an endless cycle.

There will always be someone wealthier,Someone more attractive.Someone more accomplished,Someone smarter.

If your happiness depends on being ahead of everyone else, you’have signed up for a life full of misery.

It quietly changes who you become.

Comparison doesn’t just hurt you,it affects the people around you.The frustration, resentment, and disappointment you carry eventually spill into your relationships. You become more irritable, less appreciative, and sometimes even unable to celebrate the success of the people you love.Bitterness rarely arrives all at once.It grows quietly.It slowly kills the goodness in you and can even lead to jealousy.

It was narrated from Anas that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:

“Envy consumes good deeds just as fire consumes wood”

It steals your time.

Instead of working toward your own goals, you spend hours feeling sorry for yourself.

Those hours could have been invested in learning a skill, building something meaningful, resting, or simply enjoying your life.Comparison doesn’t just steal your happiness.It steals your time.It steals your one chance at life .

Sheer Exposure

I also think comparison has become far more common because of the sheer amount of exposure we have today.You open LinkedIn and see someone your age announcing they landed their dream job or are earning six figures.For a moment, you wonder if you’re falling behind.Then you open Instagram and someone from your circle has bought their first apartment, is traveling the world.

Within minutes, your own life begins to feel smaller.The strange part is that these people often don’t even know you exist.Yet you’re allowing snapshots of their lives to dictate how you feel about yours.It’s a parasocial comparison ,comparing your entire reality to carefully selected moments from someone else’s.That isn’t fair to yourself.

“And do not wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others. For men is a share of what they have earned, and for women is a share of what they have earned. And ask Allah of His bounty. Indeed, Allah is Ever, of all things, Knowing.”

Qur’an 4:32

People share highlights far more often than hardships.You rarely see the debt behind the new car.The anxiety behind the promotion.The years of rejection before the success.Or the loneliness behind the perfect photographs.

The Hardest Comparison of All: Friends

Perhaps the most painful comparison is with friends.Imagine that both of you work equally hard for the same opportunity.They get selected.You don’t.It’s natural to feel disappointed.But disappointment doesn’t have to become resentment.Life has a strange way of rewarding people.Sometimes the reward comes immediately. Sometimes it arrives much later.Just because someone else’s blessing came first doesn’t mean yours isn’t coming.You don’t know everything about another person’s life.Maybe they desperately needed that opportunity.Maybe they’re carrying struggles you know nothing about.Maybe that one success came after years of silent failures.Maybe something even better is written for you.Or maybe that opportunity would have been a trial for you.You dont truly know whats really a blessing or a curse for you.Your creator knows better.

“But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah knows, while you know not.”

— Qur’an 2:216 (Surah Al-Baqarah, Ayah 216)

Final Note:

You have to keep reminding yourself: you only have one life, and comparison is slowly draining the soul out of you.You’re wasting your precious time on something you have no control over. You’re making yourself miserable for what? You’re sacrificing your own potential chasing a version of life that was never meant to be yours.And have you ever considered that the things you’re desperately asking for might not even be good for you? Maybe your Creator is protecting you. Maybe what feels like a delay is actually mercy.Take a moment and look at the blessings you already have. Look at those who have less than you. I promise, if you truly reflected on everything Allah has given you, your heart would overflow with gratitude.

And I know I’ve said this before, but I cant stress it hard enough.

Please stop comparing your timeline to someone else’s.Everyone’s journey is different. What is written for you will never miss you, and what misses you was never meant for you.Your blessings are on their way. Trust Allah’s timing. Be patient.

I hope no one ever feels this way.

Anxious attachment is something i wouldnt wish on my worst enemy.It makes you attached to people so deeply that you love them so much that the fear of losing them overpowers the feeling of love and attachment. Your brain creates an irrational fear that everyone who loves you will leave you for someone better.

The restlessness. The anxiety. The gnawing ache that settles deep within your heart.

The feeling consumes your days ,your nights and make it almost impossible to be in the present moment .The slightest change in someone's behaviour sends you spiraling. No matter how many times they reassure you, you're haunted by the feeling that you'll never be enough.

The thoughts, the questions ,the uncertainties consume you till you start to cry.

Then comes the insane feeling of possessiveness for your loved ones ,so much so that every other person in their lives becomes a threat,and it makes the people you love feel caged.

You constantly feel the need to prove your worth because you're terrified that if people see your flaws, they'll abandon you.And the worst part ,its all an internal struggle ,the battle you fight everyday while no one has any idea how deeply you are soaked in grief because how are you suppose to explain this feeling to anyone?

I am not an expert on this but my coping mechanism was, I just gave up and surrendered. I Surrendered in front of Allah and told him that i wasnt brave enough to carry this heavy weight alone.I told him ,i need his help more than ever and I told him about all my doubts, fears and insecurities .Well He is the only one who understands me without judgement .

And I know All my issues will be resolved by his كُن .

I just feel trying to control the things that are way beyond my scope will only make me miserable.There is no certainty in life but now i know that i wont be replaceable for the right people and they will treasure me for who I am (in sha allah) .

“Surrender in du’a is not resignation but

the most deliberate transfer of weight a

person can make.”

-akram

I wouldn’t say I am 100% better, but I would say that now I don’t worry about people like I used to because I know this matter is in the control of someone who knows what’s best for me, and this thought alone is enough to pacify my heart.

If you are someone who has had a similar experience, I am telling you: trying to control people will only drive them further away, and overthinking and concerning yourself with their whereabouts will only make you miserable. Know that ALLAH is the Creator, and once and for all, hand your matters over to Him. He will surely give your heart the much-needed peace and bless you with everything you want and more.

Last thing — For your own sanity, let things be.

Its always hard to start an article ,especially when you are going to share a personal experience.I really dont know how i am gonna come out in this article ,I dont know maybe someone could relate to this .I will just share my experince of being the youngest child.

So most people think the youngest siblings are most loved ,spoiled and pampered and they have the easiest life.But thats simply not the case.Being the youngest,it has its own pros and cons.Its not all rainbows and sunshine. In my family i was always loved and cared for and i have seen like my parents always making exceptions for me asking my siblings to be lenient because I am the youngest or maybe bringing me extra sweets ,giving me the last piece of cake like you get the gist. This is all good and i will forever be utterly grateful for that.

Because of all the love and protection i was always being told what to do,every decision was made for me,my every task was delegated to others,I never did anything . The only thing I knew was how to study. But as i grew older and was asked to take big decisions like applying to college , choosing a major?I didnt know what to do? I struggled for years to make a decision and still made my fair share of blunders.Its just i have never made any decision for myself so whenever i have to take a decision, I have a strong fear i would make a wrong decision and then my whole life will be ruined and there would be no way back to get out of it.

Furthermore,i even struggle in everyday decisions like doing something in college or any trivial matter i feel the urge to ask my parents “whether i am allowed to do this or not?” which is insane I am 20 i should be able to do these tasks myself but there is a sense of doubt which has ingrained so hard in my personality that regardless of the nature of the decisison i feel there will be repurcussions which i wont be able to handle.Even skills like cooking ,basic house chores i dont know how to do any of it. I didnt even know how to cross a road .Like people my age are doing wonders and i m still navigating the basics. As i have told earlier the only thing i knew was study,so my whole cocnept of self worth was dependant on academia. And in later years when the education method changed and i somewhat failed to adapt to those methods which made me crumble, because I was no longer good at the one thing I had always been good at.When your identity is built around one thing, losing it feels like losing yourself.I am working on all the things mentioned to get better ,to function properly in this world.Facing challenges of adulthood is hard for everyone but the transition is even more daunting when you don't have the confidence to navigate life on your own.

The main reason for writing this article is that parents should love their children, but sometimes too much protection can unintentionally stand in the way of their growth. Let them make mistakes. Let them make small decisions while they’re still young, so they’re confident enough to make the big ones when adulthood arrives. Teach them the basic life skills they’ll need, because one day they’ll have to navigate the world on their own.

And if you’re someone reading this who relates to this, know that you’re not alone. It doesn’t mean you’re incapable or behind in life. Some of us simply had to learn independence later than others. It’s difficult, but it’s something we still can learn.

I have heard a lot about tahajjud ,like people sharing how it made miracles happen for them when they were in need and it always inspired me .So i am sharing my experience so it might motivate someone to offer tahajjud.

So last year i was in a crisis situation ,I was about to fail a subject .My marks in one subject were really low,like it was a very huge difference .Also, there were two other problems if i didnt pass the subject, my degree could be delayed a year and my scholarship would have been terminated as well.I vividly remember after seeing my exam marks i was crying in the lab ,my sister called me and was asking about marks and i mustered up all the courage i had, to answer the phone, but on picking up the phone, i again started crying .She tried her best to calm me down.

Then my friends came and tried to console me .With all their best interests,they were trying to pacify me.Even with their lenient calculations , it lead towards one outcome. Failing.

I crumbled completely but i was praying continuously ,I had no resort but to pray TAHAJJUD .I started praying TAHAJJUD with utmost faith ,i would cry mid prayer, during dua ,after dua ,before sleeping literally every hour of the day this thought would consume me.When i prayed tahajjud i said i wouldnt be able to bear this and i just said only you can save me. I just told Allah ,i have no one excpet you and i also said i know according to all the worldly circumstances i cant pass this subject but i know you can do anything.Please help me.I continued my prayers with faith.I was in so need and would recite any dua that came to mind ,but sometimes there would also come thoughts in my mind like Maybe i wont be saved this time.It was a very draining time indeed.

Even my mother told me to pray but be mentally prepared like accept whatever will come, IT DOESNT MATTER, ITS NOT A BIG DEAL.So in the end I was like its okay ,it might be okay,it wouldn’t be the end of the world .

Time passed and there was the night before the result.I prayed yet again,i had faith ,I just knew ALLAH wouldn’t put me in a situation that i wouldnt be able to handle.I remember all night fidgeting, acting restless ,switching positions.I wasn’t sleeping because i knew like if i slept the next instant would be the time to see the result, so I just didnt want the morning to come.After trying I somehow slept but was checking my phone in sleep after every few hours and checked result around 2 in afternoon.Result wasnt uploaded yet.

Then around 3 i woke up and saw a whatsapp message of a friend “Did you pass the subject?”.I was wide awake at this point,i knew i had to check the result .But at this point I had accepted everything.I was like I did everything there was possible to do.I entered my credentials and the moment result appeared I started looking for F, But it wasn’t there .I had passed that subject. OH MY GOD! I instantly started crying out of joy.I knew Allah had made a way for me ,because according to all the worldly scenarios it was impossible for me to pass.He is the most merciful indeed.

Now when i think in retrospect, I realize how this one incident rejuvenated my faith and iman.

I want to add one more thing i have this faith,its not necessary for you to pray tahajjud to get every impossible thing.Allah is generous and merciful and there is no time limitation for him.All you have to do is pray from heart and have faith.

Last thing,if someone is going through a pass/fail situation,let me tell you its okay.People make mistakes,its not necessarily your fault,some subjects are hard ,sometimes our techniques and learning methodology is flawed.I hope you all pass but even if you dont ,its okay still.Your health and your well-being is way more important.You got this!!

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Social media hasn’t only changed our choices but it has changed who we are!

Personality which once felt like something we discovered slowly ,being built by habits,interests,quirks ,charms and obsessions,is now being shaped by social media and influence.Consciously or subconsciously, we often find ourselves trying to imitate the personalities and lifestyles of people who broadcast their lives on social media. We start believing that their way is the only way to live, and slowly lose touch with our own desires. The things we want are not always truly coming from within us; they are often shaped by this external mediator that influences what we value, chase, and aspire to become.

The world before social media:

Before social media, people had much less access to information. They weren’t constantly exposed to endless opinions, lifestyles, and trends 24/7. Their circles were smaller, and people developed a stronger individual sense of self. There was no single “right” way to live, no universal standard everyone felt pressured to follow. The scale of comparison was smaller, and so was the access to everyone else’s lives.

Now we are exposed to the same media,same aesthetics,same conversations and same standards everyday.Subconsciously , we learn what to wear, what to like, what to aspire, what to despise and even what to become .We spend so much of our time trying to fit what is universally accepted ,and in the process we have lost our true authentic self that differentiated us from the rest of the world rather we slowly learn to camouflage ourselves into the crowd.

Consumption:

Look at the speed with which entire populations now develop identical desires. One month everyone suddenly wanted matcha or sudden obsession with Stanley Cups, followed by Labubus, LED rooms, minimalist desks, oversized water bottles, and excessive skincare consumption. Millions of people across different countries and cultures arrive at the same “personal” choices at almost exactly the same time. This happens because trends no longer spread socially; they spread algorithmically.

Psychologists have understood this mechanism for decades through what Robert Zajonc called the mere exposure effect: we tend to prefer things simply because we encounter them repeatedly.

Which means when you are shown something repeatedly you develop familiarity with it and it begins to feel like your personal choice rather than a desire cultivated in you. You see someone unbox a Stanley Cup once, then again, then ten more creators start filming “things I can’t live without.” Eventually, when the need arise you develop the desire for the product you were shown a thousand times. And that is the trick: it feels like your decision. But often, it was simply repeated exposure quietly transforming familiarity into desire.

Habits:

It isn’t only products that are being shaped anymore, lifestyles too are strongly shaped by social media.Skincare is a perfect example. Self-care once meant washing your face, drinking water, and following simple routines, but now fourteen-step regimens somehow feel normal from serums, toners, essences, ice rollers, morning routines, night routines, and endless “get ready with me” videos. Entire generations became convinced they had flaws they never even noticed before because social media first taught them what imperfections to search for. People who once lived perfectly ordinary lives suddenly developed anxiety over glass skin, pores, jawlines, under-eyes, cortisol faces, and anti-aging before they had even finished puberty. The same pattern appears in gym culture. The gym itself is not the issue,exercise is healthy. The issue is that millions of people simultaneously absorbed not simply a habit, but an entire identity package ranging from protein shakes, cold showers, 5 AM wakeups, motivational edits, sigma podcasts, discipline quotes, and a specific personality attached to it all. It was never just fitness. It became a template.

Fashion :

Fashion trends have always existed, but they once moved slowly enough for people to shape them rather than be shaped by them. Today, that relationship feels reversed. One season everyone suddenly wants baggy jeans and oversized hoodies; soon after entire aesthetics begin taking over collective taste: the clean girl aesthetic, then trad wife, then old money, then quiet luxury. Entire styles rise, dominate, and disappear within months. The fascinating part is not that, trends exist ,trends have always existed. What is new is synchronization. Thousands of people begin dressing similarly at the same moment, not because they independently discovered what they genuinely loved, but because they were exposed to the same content at the same time. Fashion no longer spreads naturally through communities; it travels through algorithms. The algorithm creates a kind of cultural weather system, and increasingly, everyone begins dressing for the forecast.

Even Our Conversations Are Scripted

Perhaps the most unsettling part is that social media no longer only shapes what we consume; increasingly, it shapes what we think about and how we talk about it. Everyone is discussing the same celebrity breakup, the same TikTok controversy, the same podcast clip, the same Donald Trump statement, the same AI panic, or the same productivity discourse. The result is strange: we know more about what everyone else is talking about, yet less about what genuinely interests us. Even our language reflects this shift. Language once revealed where you came from,your culture, your experiences, your environment. Now it increasingly reveals what your algorithm showed you. Terms like main character, delulu, clock it, sigma, giving, core, POV, trauma response, hyper-fixation, and romanticise your life have become part of a shared digital vocabulary. Language matters because language shapes thought.

The Real Crisis Is Not Trends:

The real crisis is not trends,its the sameness.Because when our consumption,habits,lifestyle and even langauge is imitated,what do we have which is our own?Where is our originality ,our authenticity?

Instead of becoming people with great and distinct ideas and dreams .We are becoming shadow of one another with no depth or preception.In the pursuit of fitting in ,we have lost ourselves.

This leaves us with a question

What is left of us when everything about us is borrowed?

Patience

I do believe that to achieve any goal in life you have to be a little patient .I know sometimes despite givng your best ,results sometimes doesnt match your efforts.At this point in particular you have to be a little more patient and regardless of the outcome you have to keep putting in your work .There is a phase when you start working towards a goal where your motivation is high, you are excited, and you believe results will come quickly. But after some time, you reach a stage where the effort you are putting in does not seem to reflect in the outcome. This is often described as the “valley of disappointment.”

This is the point where many people give up. They mistake slow progress for failure. But this is actually the phase where patience and consistency matter the most. If you continue showing up, improving, and putting in the work, eventually you move past this phase and start seeing the results of your efforts.

Stop being a perfectionist

One of the things that have led me to procastinate is this believe i want to creaate perfect things and you know the believe like i will start creating when my knowledge about a certain topic is complete .So this has led to no action hence no progress whatsoever.But the thing is being human you are in constant state of change and you can never have complete knowledge.Thats why i have decided to start creating instead of waiting for some ideal time.I heard to create excellent things you have to create bad things first ,then you will refine yoursrself and make something surreal.The idea that the first thing you create will be your magnum opus is a misconception.For example,I have been delaying the process of writing articles becaue i didnt think i was good enough to do that but the believe that writing tons of bad articles will led me to the process of writing one good artcile have pushed me to writing articles.

Detaching from worldly things

This may sound a bit weird coming from a 20 year old that one of my goal is to detach from worldly things.First ,let me clarify,it doesnt mean like having no goals or future aspirations,it simply means like having goals doing the hardwork but detaching from outcome.Means my selfworth shouldnt be shaken when i dont reach my desired goal.Like my only goal is to take charge of things i am in control of .Obviously outcomes are not in my hands ,i can only give my best efforts .So if i did my best , I should be contented regardless of the results .It also means letting go of my emotional attachment with people and things.Being attached makes a person bit crazy like trying to control other people’s actions,trying to mould them into what you want them to be, which is like the worst thing you can do in either friendship or relation or literally anything.Now i think ,the most liberating thing u can do for yourself is free people and let them be. Stop associating all these expectations from them .Let them be who they are , constant nagging ain’t gonna do something .People change only when they want to .Emotional attachment with things, i think very few people have this like attachement with their things.For example,I struggle to get rid of my old books ,old tests ,old memorablia ,it just reminds me of that particular time.I think as long as i have these things i can still hold on and have a glipmse of a version of me.I feel if i give away these things i will no longer have control of my past.The whole idea is a bit problematic ,first this attachment has made my home a junkyard and secondly i dont have control of my past so these things are keeping me stuck in a past version.It doesnt mean throwing all the old stuff like awards medals and photographs etc ,it simply means throwing the stuff like my old exams , old books and all the weird things i refused to let go.This part is going to be excruiatingly hard for me but i will try to take small steps and get better.

Never too late

So there is this qoute which has always stuck with me

“Its never too late to what you might have been”

It gives me another outlook on life .I dont know why i find this qoute to be extremely hopeful.It gives you endless possiblities ,you can always turn things around for you .If you have decided to change certain something in your life,you always can ,regardless of worldly and societal standards.Your age ,your career ,your relation,literally its never too late to rectify a situation .You can be 60 and say i wanna start a business ,i wanna travel the world.It is never too late .All the limtations are created by mind.In reality you are free.For example,I changed my major with this qoute in my mind because i didnt feel very compatible with that and i knew i cant do that for the rest of my life.So i changed it.

Prespective

This is the most important part of this article.I really dont think we give due importance to prespective .I have seen people in trials and turmoils and creating opportunity out of it.I think no matter whatever situation you are in you should try to have this believe ,whatever is happening its good for me i just dont know it yet.Same situation could be seen as misfortune and opportunity simulataneously depending on the observer .There is another qoute which inspires me

"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change,"

-Dr. Wayne Dyer

I might not be able to truly explain the importance of prespective but i cant stress it hard enough.You could have millions and millions of dollars and still be discontented ,and you can have only a few things to your name and still be satisfied.It all comes down to your outlook on life.

Thats it for today

and lastly my last goal is to write at least one article per week

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This article may seem a bit cluttered because i need an outlet for my thoughts,so basically i wrote an article which was like my goals for 2026 , i somewhat followed obviously not completely, but anyhow over the span of 6 months my outlook on somethings have changed and here are a few more things i wanna do which will help me grow and i dont know it may help someone else as well.

One Clear Goal

I have seen people who have like tremendous amount of my success have a clear goal. They know what they are running after ,they have like a vision for themselves .Obviously like no one knows the excruitating details about what will their future comprise of but they have a dream they wanna pursure .They have a goal ,they yearn for,they strive for. They do their utmost best to acheive that goal.So the first thing i want is a clear goal for which i will give my all.

Keep Building

Many a times when someone is building something new ,trying something different people tend to criticise them.Sometimes out of hate,sometimes because they lack your prespective ,sometimes the criticism even comes from a good place.But if you think ,the thing you are working on is something you are passionate about ,you shouldnt let anyone discourage you .Even when you are not trying something new people will always try to criticise you,you have to become the most unbothered version of yourself.Regardless of anyone’s behaviour ,you have to keep working on yourself because discipline is what stands out in the long run.

“If you have an idea that you genuinely think is good, dont let some idiot talk you out of it.” - Stan Lee

Action louder than words

In theory u might have conquered the world,but world demands something tangible to show your ingenius and out of the world ideas.I have seen my head literally spiking with dopamine over the ideas that comes to me ,but hardly any of the ideas see the light of day.So whatever idea i have ,i dont mean any random run of the mill idea .I mean maybe like for me i have been meaning to write a book ever since i was 11 ,mind you i m 20 now and i dont see a book because no matter how much i wanted it .I never took time to accomplish my goal.So no more being superhero in theory ,any goal any thing i want to achieve i will take action.

For example , Michael Jackson’s approach to creativity has always fascinated me. There are stories about how, even in the middle of the night, if an idea for a song came to him, he would immediately call his lawyer or producer to make sure it was recorded. He treated ideas like something fragile, something that could disappear if he waited too long. He believed that if he didn’t bring an idea to life, God might give it to someone else, even joking that it could end up with Prince. So you see people who were massively successful didnt rely on theory ,they took actions,thats what made them memorable

btw i dont if someone would even read it but anyhow i m gonna post -

Next part will be uploaded soon .