Guys, all my life I’ve been called different names, but the one that I find the funniest is “relationship destroyer” because babyyyy I’m only trying to help a girl. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Apparently, whenever my friends come to me with relationship issues, they somehow either have enough courage to end things or even cause a ruckus. Then somehow, I’m the bad person in their love story.

Mind you, I’m not the one dating the person who forgot to reply for 3 days while still posting on their stories, or even gaslit you into second-guessing yourself. Could we please be serious?

Before you judge me, hear me out. Personally, I don’t think I’ve actually destroyed anyone’s relationship or ever gone around giving unsolicited advice before. In fact, you people are the ones who come and meet me and still somehow blame me after. But with time I’ve realized that whenever someone asks you for advice about something as sensitive as their relationship, they’re usually in one of these 3 categories.

1. THEY GENUINELY WANT YOUR OPINION: Trust me, these people are actually looking for another perspective; they are most likely confused, overwhelmed, and even trust your judgment enough to ask what you think. This is the easiest category because whatever advice you give, they actually consider it.

2. THEY DON’T ACTUALLY WANT ADVICE: They just want someone to listen to, and you might just be the best for them that moment; all you need to contribute are: really?, nawa o, hmmm, it is well sha. You are good to go after this.

3. I DON’T HAVE A NAME FOR THIS SET PLEASE: These have already made their decision; they’re not asking because they don’t know what to do, they’re asking because they need validation, or a witness, or even worse somebody to blame later. (Be careful with this category)

So let’s imagine this: a friend comes to you

Hi Kemi, I’m experiencing X, Y and Z. I honestly don’t know what to do. What do you suggest?

Things you should NOT do.

1. Don’t offer to write the breakup message: Rookie mistake, If you’re that talented, abeg go and write for Zikoko. 🤷🏽‍♀️

2. Don’t immediately insult the other person: Please calm down.

Because what happens when they reconcile tomorrow and casually mention, “Oh… Aisha said your head is big.” Now whose head will be big?

Yours. 🫵🏾🤗

3. Don’t become the relationship ambassador: Please explain to me… why are you calling their partner on their behalf? Wetin happen? How did we get here?

4. Don’t make their relationship about yours: Nobody asked how you and your husband have been happily married for twenty years. Respectfully… read the room.

So what should you actually do?

First, try to figure out which of the three categories they fall into.

Then… Listen. When they’re done, it’s perfectly okay if your response is simply,

“Wow.”

“Really?”

“That’s tough.”

“Nawa o.”

“I hope everything works out.”

“I think you should do what you believe is best because you know the situation better than I do.” (My fav)

That’s it.

Yes, this advice also applies to people in situationships, talking stages, and also confusedships.

In fact, they probably need it the most.

So if you ever come to me with relationship gist and all I say is,

“Hmmm…”

Please know that I’m protecting both of us.

This is me officially resigning from my unpaid position as everyone’s relationship, friendship, and situationship adviser.

Abeg, no put me for talk again.

Before I go…

How are you all doing? Did you miss me? Because I missed you!!! Have you ever been blamed for advice you gave someone? Or are you the friend everybody runs to whenever there’s relationship drama?

See you in the next one. ❤️

Note: This post does NOT apply to situations involving abuse, manipulation, or any form of violence. If someone is experiencing abuse, they deserve support, safety and, where possible, professional help. Please continue to show up for the people you love when they’re in genuine danger.

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It’s hard, I feel weird. It’s like I’m talking to a very close friend, and I just refuse to keep to my word and be consistent, so now that I’m finally reaching out, I don’t know what to say or how to enter your life again without you being upset with me.

The funniest thing is that I condemn this behavior. 😔

So I’ll just talk, and talk, and talk because I’m good at that. It’s been a while. Forever, even. A lot has happened, so much, and we can’t possibly talk about everything at once.

The funny thing is that after enough time passes, I start forgetting some experiences. Not because they weren’t important, but because I’ve replayed them in my head so many times that they begin to feel old.

On emotions, mine have felt a little tangled lately. I’ve noticed that I sometimes hide behind them without even realizing it. I know I get overwhelmed and overstimulated easily, but there are moments when I let things pile up before dealing with them, and then the task suddenly feels much bigger than it actually is.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about expectations and confrontation. I still don’t know whether expecting less from someone means caring less about them, but it’s a thought that has stayed with me. I’m also learning that not every disappointment needs a conversation, and not every feeling needs a response. Some things can simply be left alone, and that’s been new for me.

I tried switching to coding late last year. I was going to learn backend development, and I was all set to start, with support from my brother, of course (round of applause pleasee!! 👏🏽). But I just couldn’t do it, please. It felt like maths, and with maths, I’m defeated before I even start.

Recently, I joined a project management program, so we’ll see how that goes. I’ll definitely get back to you on that.

Forgive me, but I’ve been watching more series than reading novels.

I actually had to take a break recently. Sometime last year, I realized that I’m fully a thriller and mystery girl. For someone who doesn’t care about spoilers, it’s hilarious that it’s my favorite genre. I’m currently watching Scandal, and I love it so much.

This is still a sensitive topic for me, but after what feels like forever, I’m finally finding my feet in this school and in my department. It’s still a struggle sometimes, but it no longer feels impossible.

What else is left?

I really want to write more and write more often. I want it to feel like a habit again. Somewhere along the line, it started feeling like a chore, and I didn’t like that.

How have you been, and what have you been up to lately? (Please don’t reply like a robot😂)

I was done with this letter when I realized that it’s been four years this month since I decided to start writing here.

Four years.

Happy writing anniversary to me!! 🥹🥳

Don’t you think I deserve a thousand subscribers?

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I was having a discussion with my friend, I can’t quite remember what it was about, but he stopped me and said, “Oh Aisha, I need to give you honest feedback on something.”

Feedback? I was up. I always want to hear what someone has to say, especially if it’s about me.

“You don’t give yourself grace, so it doesn’t allow you give others grace.”

That’s what my friend said. Wow. I paused. I thought about it for a few minutes, appreciated it, and till I got home that day, it was all on my mind. I spent time analyzing how right that person was, and even though I was very self-aware, I somehow missed that.

When I got home, I called my brother. I said, “A friend told me something today, and I agree with it so much.” My brother listened, like he always would.

I went on and on about how I’ve put myself in a very strict program. I’ve made so many mistakes that I don’t give myself enough room for them anymore. I’m too self-aware, I catch my lapses fast and don’t even give myself breathing space.

I was this strict, and I ended up extending it to people around me. The thing is, they might not even realize it, but I saw it. I noticed it immediately after my friend mentioned it. I would always think, if I can’t expect such from myself, there’s no way I would just let it slide.

I didn’t realize that not everyone has the same mindset as I do. I didn’t give enough grace to myself, so I couldn’t even extend it.

But you see, this is very different from people who know what they’re doing but still choose to tramp on you. I knew exactly what this was about, and I knew I had to make adjustments for myself before I could do it for anyone else.

I told myself, so why are you really this hard on yourself? You’re human, so why can’t you give yourself endless chances? Why are you restricting yourself to boundaries that hurt you?

That night, I texted a friend I wasn’t talking to because they did something I didn’t like. It wasn’t even an apology text, because they were obviously wrong, it was just to check in. Because I started to see that maybe they didn’t actually know.

I was still thinking about the feedback. Two days later, I texted my friend to thank him. It was needed.

Now, I’ve been thinking, how many of us can actually take feedback and criticism from people close to us? We often say that if someone isn’t cordial with you, they have no business correcting you. But how do you take feedback from a close friend or family member?

Of course, the tone and how the message is passed matters a lot. But how do you receive it? Do you actually reflect on it, or do you see it as one of those “why does this one think they can tell me anything?” moments?

We’re adults, and the more we spend time with people, the more we mirror our actions. There won’t always be nice feedback, but when given, it should be taken with wisdom and gratitude, because even if you’re the most self-aware person, you’re still human and very capable of falling short.

Now, this is your sign to go give your friend honest feedback, and when you receive yours, actually work on it. It might hurt, but it helps.

Writing this felt like a breeze. This is really my safe space.

Aisha.

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I’ve been proud of myself lately, especially in how I handle my relationships.

I can now decide to stop talking to someone who’s hurt me without needing to ask anyone if it’s “okay.”

I’m in my own head, I know what’s right, and I no longer need validation to keep people close when I know they wouldn’t do the same for me.

You don’t have to be my friend for me to clock you out. Acquaintance, old pal, even a friend’s friend. I know the difference between disrespect and a simple mistake. I know when to give grace and when it’s time to walk away.

It wasn’t always this easy. For the longest time, I couldn’t even admit when I was treated badly. I made excuses for people. I “understood” their side. But it drained me.

People-pleasing does so much harm. I cared too much about how the other person felt and too little about myself.

It’s harder when the disrespect comes from someone close. A friend, family member, or someone you deal with daily. You feel it in your chest when they’re around. You see their message and your mood drops.

You might have even talked to them about it multiple times, but nothing changes. Hard, right? I know how that feels.

You shouldn’t have to put up with it. The emotional stress alone is exhausting.

Start small. Remind yourself that your real people won’t make you feel this way. It shouldn’t hurt this much, even if you want to fight for the relationship.

Slowly disengage from people who drain you, no matter how long you’ve known them or how convinced you are you can’t cope without them. You will cope.

Navigating relationships isn’t easy. But you can only do your best.

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Sigh.
Snapchat showed me a memory tonight, two years ago, I was complaining about how tiring school was. Spoiler: it didn’t get better.

I still feel defeated by school.

A lot has happened since then, and honestly, I didn’t handle it well. I’ve learned how it feels to be stuck in a situation for a long time. I used to think I was good at handling things, but it turns out it’s not as easy as I expected. Still, I know now that this is part of my journey, and I have to face it.

I love planning. I’ve always been the person with the next step mapped out. But lately, I still plan without knowing if it’ll actually work out, or even if it’s worth it.

No motivation today. But if you feel like things haven’t gotten better, you’re not alone. You don’t have to be “strong” all the time to believe you can get through it. Find purpose in the little things.

You will be fine. I’m rooting for you.

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How often do you get sad or annoyed?
Recently, it’s been happening a lot for me and it’s been so hard trying to navigate my feelings. One day I feel completely fine, and the next I’m overwhelmed with emotions I can’t even explain.

I was sad… until I felt numb.

Couldn’t process the feelings. Couldn’t even feel them.
I was just there, no reaction.

Then it all started to pile up.
Resentment for my inner self.
I hated that I was sad, but I couldn’t help it.

I was so used to being sad and brushing it off, but this time it refused to go. Everything started to feel unfamiliar. I found myself irritated by the smallest things, constantly on edge, hissing under my breath. And though I didn’t like how it made me feel, I couldn’t stop it.

My heart felt heavy, so I thought, why not write this down?
Unfiltered. Maybe I’d feel better.
And to be honest, I think I do.

My friend told me to find the root of my sadness, and I did. We talked about it, and I feel a little lighter. Sadness is a heavy feeling and it’s hard for me to sit in it. But I’m trying. I believe I’ll feel better soon.

If you’re reading this and you don’t understand your feelings right now, it’s okay.
Try not to ignore or suppress them like I did.

Take your time. 🫶🏾

It’s just a feeling, not a personality, and it doesn’t have to stay with you forever.

I know I’ll feel better soon.
And I’m proud of myself for trying.

Thanks for reading.
This was unplanned, just me writing in my rawest form.
This is my safe space and I’m learning to treat it like one.

Till next time. 😊❤️

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The closest thing I’ve had to a hallucination was in 2023.

I went back to my tutorial college in Oshodi for the third time, and I was losing it. Everyone looked familiar, and I kept zoning out every now and then. It was my first time experiencing such feelings, and I was completely confused.

To this day, I say 2023 was a very good year for me, not because everything went smoothly, but because I figured things out. I was slipping away, but somehow, I caught myself back. No push from anyone or anything. Just me.

It all started in October. My mum decided I’d be going back to the tutorial college but this time, as a boarding student.

Boarding student ke?

I wanted to run mad. I refused, and she told my brother. The last week of September, my brother called me to his room and said, “Aisha, you’re going back in October.”

I screamed. No, sorry—I wailed. Everyone was shocked. “Why? What’s wrong?” My brother even asked if I’d been bullied the last time I was there. 😂 Me? Bullying ke? 😏 Am I in JSS2?

You see, I have a hard time being alone. This is why the idea of a solo date still sounds weird to me.

What do you mean, solo date?

I like the concept, though. Hopefully, with time, I’ll get to sit by myself outside and enjoy my own company.

Earlier in 2023, when I first went to Adams, I wasn’t alone. I had my friends. I was at Jessica’s house for her 18th birthday when I mentioned the tutorial to her. She knew it because her sister had attended there, but I fueled her desire to go. So she joined. Arinze did too. I was with my people.

So, when I had to go back later that year—this time, alone—I couldn’t take it. What do you mean Jessica wouldn’t be there to rub my back when my usual stomach aches came? That I wouldn’t walk home after lessons with the lovely people I had met?

It was hard, but I resumed in October.

The first two weeks were hell. Every day, I saw reasons why I didn’t want to be there. Everyone looked so familiar and acted like my old friends. Sitting by myself in class felt so weird. I love companionship, I couldn’t whisper to Jessica or ask Arinze for water. Everyone seemed to find their place and their own person, but I was stuck reminiscing about the past.

Repeating the same cycle three times? It was hard.

But I caught myself back. I had to. I don’t believe in soaking in misery for too long. I had to wake up and face reality, because that’s life. My journey is different.

So, I made friends. Femi was first—her bunk was near mine, and she had such a bubbly personality. She introduced me to Divine. Our first encounter was funny, but I admired the way she carried herself. Then I met Aisha in class, always smiling. We clicked immediately. It wasn’t so hard for two friendly people to connect.

I started to find my spark again. I had people to complain to nonstop, (which was great, honestly). And everything began to make sense.

Then, one day in November, I had a thought: Why not write down a list of things you want to achieve while you’re here? The idea came, and I didn’t push it away. I decided to end the year on a good note and restrategize.

I was ready to unlearn and cultivate new habits. Ready to step up and come out from anything holding me back from achieving my full potential.

I don’t know if there’s a moral lesson to this story, but here’s my sign to you: When life pulls you to the edge, it’s up to you to pull yourself back. No one is coming to save you. If you want to change, you have to make the move yourself. There’s no timeline for growth, and it’s never too late to become a better version of yourself.

Happy New Month! This is my birth month. 💗🤗

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Exactly a year ago, I had my matriculation ceremony and even if I had promised myself to be in high spirits and be very grateful about it. I wasn’t 😭

In fact, I fell sick.

How are you doing? How’s the year going for you? Consider this your subtle reminder that this month will be even better, just don’t forget to show up and put in the work!

Was it just me, or did January 2025 feel like one of the fastest months I’ve experienced? Probably because I didn’t have exams to write.😩

It’s completely okay if you’re still confused about what you want to achieve this year, February is a chill month anyway, take this as your cue to sit down, plan and strategize. Do it with friends if it helps.

You see, right from secondary school my matriculation ceremony was something I always looked forward to, it was a big feat for me and even if some people didn’t see it as a big deal, I did.

A month before my matriculation, I tried to get into an anticipating mood, but deep down I just wanted to get it over with. I even gave my matriculation gown to the dry cleaner because why not?

(Screams in freshest fresher)

It might have looked like I was doing too much but honestly, I just didn’t want to be sad on that day. Guess what?

I failed.

I had one of the most chaotic days and I just wanted it to end, it’s not like I even wanted to do anything before. 😔

So, why was it so hard for me to feel excited, even though I had looked forward to this day for so long? The truth was:

I had postponed my happiness.

I had already told myself before then not to get too excited and act normal because “What’s the big deal?”

It’s not like I was studying what I wanted to study, and it wasn’t an easy ride. I postponed my happiness to whenever I would achieve something “bigger.” At the time, I put myself in a strict military zone, forbidding myself from being too joyous.

(Sounds very sad, right? 🥲)

Why am I writing this?

I didn’t end up celebrating anything similar later, and I wasn’t even genuinely happy on that day. Who lost? Me.😭🤚🏾

Here are some reasons why you think your achievement isn’t worth celebrating:

• It came late, so what’s the use?

• Imposter syndrome: You think you don’t deserve it.

• “I’ll be happy when….?”: You’re waiting for a bigger milestone.

• External validation over internal fulfillment: You worry about what others will think.

• You’re in a comparison trap: You measure your success against others.

• Fear of jinxing it: You believe celebrating too soon might ruin it.

• Perfectionism: You think it’s not good enough to celebrate.

If this is you, and you’re already planning to push aside your win, no matter how small, I’m here to encourage you to rethink.

You don’t have to postpone your happiness. Celebrate your little wins, no matter how small. Stop conditioning yourself to think your achievements aren’t worth celebrating.

Acknowledge even the tiniest achievements and remind yourself that you deserve to be happy now, not just in the future. 💕

Look at the positive side, they are always things to be grateful for.

For example, my friend Precious whom I hadn’t seen in over 2 years came to visit me that day and we spent time together in my hostel. I was so sick I had to leave the matriculating hall early, but at least I got to see her.

If there’s one thing I’m glad I did that day, it was that I ensured I took pictures in my already rumpled clothes and matric gown in the evening.

This is your sign to stop postponing happiness. Be present, celebrate even the small wins, and enjoy every single moment happening in your life!"

Bye Friend. 🩷

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Hii friend💘!

How are you doing? I hope this letter can lure you back for staying away for soo long?

Two years ago I came on here to talk about how I realized procrastination and lack of consistency were things I struggled with and how I planned on overcoming them, Well look who’s back to talk about how no changes were made!

Last year, I realized that my procrastination and lack of discipline were impacting my life more than I had imagined. I had a hard time meeting deadlines and multi-tasking made my work less efficient. It took a while for me to finally accept that I had slipped back into procrastinating.

This year, I’m fully committed to developing healthier habits (hopefully). Towards the end of 2024, I gained more clarity, most especially how being disciplined could help you go a long way.

If you’re finding it hard to feel excited about the new year or feel overwhelmed by your goals, know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to take your time and not feel pressured to have everything figured out. Give yourself permission to take a break, unwind, and focus on the present instead of worrying about what the year might bring.

Remember, you have the power to start fresh and make this your best year yet. Don’t be too hard on yourself, and don’t let last year’s experiences define you. You’ve got this!

I want to share some tips that I’ve found helpful in my journey:

• Have a Healthy Spiritual Life: Reflect on how you plan to strengthen your relationship with the Almighty this year.

• Define Your Purpose: Every action should have a purpose. A clear sense of motivation will guide you through challenges with greater ease

• ⁠⁠Know Yourself: Have you ever taken a moment to reflect on your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats? This is called a SWOT analysis, and reflecting on these four areas will help you understand yourself more deeply.

• Select a Theme for the Year: Don’t feel overwhelmed by the idea of planning your year. Start by writing down five basic things you want to achieve and how you plan to accomplish them. Then, choose a theme for the year.

• Don’t Get Lost in Others’ Definitions: Spend time understanding what you truly want. This will help you avoid conflicting opinions about yourself when others share their perspectives.

• ⁠⁠⁠Stop Settling: Rebrand yourself and aim for excellence. When you settle for mediocrity, you limit your potential.

• ⁠Work More, Talk Less: Put in the effort required to achieve your goals. Less talk and more action will help you complete tasks efficiently.

• ⁠Embrace Accountability: Hold yourself accountable and find an accountability partner with similar goals. Regularly reflect on your progress and constructively criticize yourself.

• ⁠ Step Out of Your Comfort Zone: Broaden your network, surround yourself with people who align with your goals, and don’t be afraid to outgrow old role models.

• Let Go of Perfectionism: Be kind to yourself, take breaks, and celebrate small wins. Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes — it’s all part of the learning process.

⁠I hope you find this helpful, I’m rooting for you 🎈.

My goal this year is to excel in everything I set my mind to. I aim to be more disciplined and focused, and I believe you can do the same!

If you've read it this far, thank you for reading! Don’t forget to share your thoughts or takeaways in the comments below.

I’d love to connect with you on Instagram! Tag me (@_aishasthoughts) with a screenshot of the part that resonated with you most.

Share this with someone you're grateful for this year and would love to see win alongside you!

Wishing you an amazing year ahead! 🤗🩷

Bye, friend💘!

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( comes out of hiding)

Hii Besties,

How are you all doing presently? I’m doing good Alhamdullilah! Yes I know I’ve been absent for more than a year, Life happened and when I was supposed to get back to work I was extremely lazy, Hopefully, we get to talk about why I was absent some other time.

I would say that I’m just very grateful to Almighty Allah for sparing my life, my loved ones, and my beautiful readers till now! Because I think the Gift of life and good health is the most underrated form of blessing.

I’ve had a particular conversation with myself for a while now and I’ve noticed how humans are ready to always be the perfect person in a story

Most people understand the importance of personal growth and we all make New Year resolutions to work on aspects of our lives, However, the main priority of a successful year is self-development. What does Self Development mean to you?

I view it as embracing my imperfections, accepting that I have flaws and the ability to make mistakes, knowing fully well I have to work hard and take action to reach my maximum potential.

I believe the initial step here is to recognize that being human means you're not immune to making mistakes and can sometimes be quite wrong. It's perfectly normal to have imperfections.

Now that you know that you aren’t perfect, the next step is to look out for those toxic traits, I said toxic yes, why? because in as much as you don’t find fault in these behaviors, the people you move with are more likely to be inconvenienced.

There are so many behaviors that you may see as completely normal or as something that doesn’t need to be worked on but in reality, that’s a lie! It doesn’t make you a better person at all.

Manipulation, Gaslighting, Over - entitlement, Narcissism, Perfectionism, Rudeness, Bad Communication Skills, Jealousy/Envy, Selfishness, Nonchalant Attitude, Hot- Tempered and a lot more are behaviors you might possess but you just find it hard to accept!

Have you noticed that your close friends don’t like to tell you certain things even when it is bothering them because you are known to show little or no interest/ concern about it? Are you someone who flares up at the slightest argument, always misunderstands the point of whatever is going on, finds fault easily, or is rude unnecessarily even when not needed?

So now you’re thinking how do I even know if this is how I behave, this is where the Importance of having close friends come around. You must be wondering why your close friends don’t even argue that much with you or even pick arguments with you, How could they possibly tell you where they think you have a fault when you’re too closed up and don’t care about anything or you’re never ready to listen or learn? You make speaking with you on certain matters very difficult because you can’t just seem to agree that you’re either selfish or not even intentional with the relationship you both have. Talk to close people about how you’ve reacted to certain situations and how they felt about it.

Some of you love to listen to your friends hype you up all day but once it’s time to correct you or speak with you about something you’ve done you think they’re being too forward and don’t know you.

If you can notice when I mentioned you speaking to someone about how you react in certain situations I said “close friend” I believe that for someone to be your close friend you’ve attained a level of trust with the person and can take the person words for it, do not talk to someone about sensitive issues like these which aim is to “ dish out the harsh truth “ and cannot take it back, talk with someone that has a higher level of maturity because some people use this as an opportunity to prey their insecurities on you, be smart; so that can see where you are at fault.

Here are some tips I would like to share with you :

• Growth falls in regularly, Do not try to rush it and force yourself to accept things even you, do not know fully.

• Self-evaluation should be a constant thing, Judge yourself and take blame whenever you’re wrong even before anyone does it for you, it is much easier.

• Do not make growth an excuse to pick up bad habits, I’ve seen people go from being kind to very mean and rude just because they are growing and no one deserves to see that side of them anymore or because they weren’t treated nicely for being kind before. Always remember that the No 1 priority is you, so do what makes you a better person not because people don’t deserve it.

• Stop Justifying your bad behaviors and take accountability! Some people are very good at compromising what is not it and they think that’s the best way to handle it, You can do better trust me.

• Lastly, Pray to God to help on you this journey because this isn’t some trick that you can pull off on your own, It takes a lot of determination, and strength to be a better person, I pray that the Almighty makes it easy for you.

I am aware that some of you know your flaws but perhaps you feel like it isn’t affecting anyone or you see it as even a strength, In situations like these in the long run you would see why you should have taken note of it earlier, because not everyone can keep up with the fact that you are very manipulative or even greedy.

I want you to keep in mind that as much as you might feel an entirely different way about all that I’ve said, this is my say on this, Let me know what you think in the comment section, Do you have someone you want to discuss this with but you don’t know how to? Share this link with the person and every single person you think should read this!! Do not forget to tag me on Instagram at (_aishanana) if you gained one or two from reading this!

Side note: The person who sent you this wants you to know that they love you and would like to strengthen the relationship you both have by being more open-minded in a kind way with each other.

If you read till this moment, wow! I’m proud of you, thank you so much!

Get ready for my next post!

Happy New Month

Bye Besties 💗

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How are you doing today? I am fine Alhamdulillah, The last few months has been so busy for me that I couldn’t bring myself to deliver less. I saw a post on Instagram a few weeks back on how humans use the concept of advising friends/family to be very harsh, In their words “I’m brutally honest”. (Sigh)

I believe Kindness is underrated- very underrated, Most times people don’t see the need to be kind, why? because no one has probably been kind to them before or they aren’t even kind to themselves. Kindness is a type of behavior marked by acts of generosity, consideration, rendering assistance, or concern for others, without expecting praise or reward in return. - Wikipedia

When I was in Secondary School, JSS1 to be precise, a senior once called me, she thought I was a boy and wanted to send me on an errand outside the school; won’t blame her though - I was wearing shorts, on low cut and without earrings. When she eventually realized I wasn’t a boy she said really mean and hurtful words to me and was laughing, till date I still think perhaps she was having a really bad time and decided to pour it on me, throughout junior school I don’t remember looking at the mirror.

You see, the words you say to yourself and the people around you go a long way, If you are someone who hardly congratulates themselves for achieving a certain milestone, passing an exam e.t.c You would find it hard to be kind to people. There’s no reward for being mean to oneself or even insulting yourself as a joke! You become so used to these certain behaviors you see them as something normal and “just being yourself”.

There are 3 ways I know which help you to be kind:

• Think Kind/Positive words: It is only human for us to have negative thoughts about certain situations, we just don’t let them control us, The more you think positively and kindly about things shapes your mentality.

• Say Kind Words: Always remember that the words you say go a long way even if you don’t mean it at that moment! If you don’t have anything kind to say remain silent, Don’t hurt people with your words.

• Be Kind to Yourself: Cultivate the habit of being kind to yourself, celebrate certain achievements, don’t go all hard on yourself because you feel you don’t deserve rest, Prioritize peace of mind, and be kind to people. May the Almighty make it easy for us, Ameen.

Occasionally, people use this as an excuse for not being kind; they feel it doesn’t matter and they aren’t even getting anything in return, so there’s no need. Always have it in mind that whatsoever good you are doing your reward is with God and your efforts aren’t in vain.

Don’t forget It is essential for all of us to understand the value of kindness. Always remember, it doesn’t cost anything to be kind. It may be a little compliment or it can be a grand gesture no matter how big or small, kindness always matters. Remember Love and Kindness can never be wasted!

Share this with your friends who have been kind to you one way or the other and appreciate them! I hope you found this insightful, be nice enough to tag me on your Instagram story with a screenshot of your favorite part {@_aishanana}. Thank you for reading, I do not take it for granted. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section!

Nana.

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How are you doing today? I am fine, Alhamdullilah. I am glad that most of you could relate to the last post and found it helpful one way or the other. Seeing how fast this year is going, I’m glad I didn’t push certain things forward like I used to.

Procrastination is the act of unnecessarily and voluntarily delaying or postponing something despite knowing that there will be consequences for doing so. - Wikipedia

I used to be a victim of procrastination, and I should say it affected me in a whole lot of ways. I attended a boarding secondary school and knowing fully well that the school had time scheduled for every single thing, I still always chose to push my tasks further till when I felt it was convenient, Most of the time my excuses were flimsy and this made me slow in some certain things and I had a hard time balancing my school work.

I knew very well that procrastination was one of the bad habits I was dealing with and I always wrote it down every month as something I should stop doing, but guess what? I still kept on procrastinating because I wasn’t working on it immediately.

We all procrastinate, but it depends on how you manage yours, you don’t set a date or a month to when you want to stop the act of procrastinating. There’s practically no manual; It’s an action of the moment, and you put it to effect immediately!

Do you want to call a friend? Do it now!

If you want to start a business, why push it forward?

Do you want to learn a skill? Start making efforts now!

Most of the time you realize that the time you spend doing what you’ve been procrastinating is very short. Immediately I left Secondary School - I noticed how very fast time went by and how I needed to do a whole lot of things, I just started doing whatever I had planned to do, no more pushing tasks forward unnecessarily, and saw that I achieved more things within a short period.

Procrastination makes you inconsistent in whatever you do. Consistency is the crucial driver for success, being consistent means dedicating yourself to your goals and staying focused on the things and activities to achieve your goals, It requires relentless efforts in doing actions repeatedly until you achieve your goals.

Whatever it is you’ve been planning on doing just start it now, Gradually you will find yourself slipping away from procrastination and inconsistency; Everything is working in your favor by the grace of God.

If this post makes sense to you, be nice enough to take a screenshot of your favorite part of this post and put it up on your Instagram story, tag me while at it [@_aishanana]. Also, tell 7 of your friends why they should be subscribed to this Newsletter and not miss any single post!

I’m grateful if you kept on reading, let me know your thoughts in the comment section

P.S: Those of you that promised to get me Lucozade Boost please add Maryland Cookies to it because I’ve already packaged your Eran Odun and it is ready to be delivered!! Just signify in the comment section so that I can EMAIL it to you. Muahhhh, Happy Eid-il-Adha!

Nana.

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How are you doing today? I am fine, Alhamdulillah. I appreciate the love I was shown on my first post, I can’t thank you guys enough! Earlier last week I met with a few of my friends and I soon realized how much I missed the company we kept, knowing that things aren’t going to be the way they used to be because we have different lives, One thing I’m super glad for is that “I Lived in the Moment”.

I Love Friendships!!! There is soo much love in friendship when you are with the right group of people, friends influence you in a whole lot of ways and that depends solely on the type you find yourself with. True Friendship is a privilege that shouldn’t be underestimated. Empathy, trustworthiness, and mutual respect are paramount aspects of true friendship. However, genuine alliances run more profound than mere qualities.

Yes, I was also going to talk about the fact that friendships come with Drama, I quite believe you can’t escape the drama in friendships most especially toxic ones in which you might find yourself. For Someone like me that cares a lot, I tend to bother a lot when someone I consider my close friend isn’t talking to me or acting strange towards me. When I notice this - I always want to clarify things so as not to misjudge people.

People won’t always turn out to become what you want them to be because they aren’t you and you aren’t perfect, There are some certain friendships you would always want to keep, but everything isn’t going to always work in your favor. Don’t Force friendships please, If you feel you don’t understand why your “Close Friend” is acting up, confront them, communication matters. As much as this won’t go well with everyone, this is my way of dealing with issues like these.

Friendships can enrich your life in many ways. Good friends teach you about yourself and challenge you to be better. They encourage you to keep going when times get tough and celebrate your successes with you. I love when people have a positive impact on me, I pray you are surrounded by people that influence your life in positive ways.

I don’t know if this post makes sense to you. If it does, be nice enough to take a screenshot of your favorite part of this post and put it up on your Instagram story, tag me while at it [_aishanana].

I’m grateful if you kept on reading, let me know your thoughts in the comment section

P.S: The Keke Maruwa I entered today was soo uncomfortable as I was in between 2 mummies for a 30mins ride, Anywhere you see me please give me Lucozade Boost, Thank you for reading my posts I do not take it for granted. Muahhhh

Nana.

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This is Nana’s Newsletter, a newsletter about my life, I’m a 17 years old Muslim girl living and enjoying this world with you beautiful humans. I like to learn about various things and have meaningful conversations. This newsletter will revolve around Islam, human relationships, school & various topics that I can come across in and out of my life journey.

I’m writing mostly because I have things to say, and I believe someone somewhere would like to read through my thoughts. I’m also going to try as much as possible to be consistent In-Sha-Allah.

If you are reading this right now I’m grateful you clicked the link, please subscribe, and don’t forget to tell your friends too. Muaahhh

Nana.

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