Natalie shares her transformative journey with vision quests, embracing her ancestry and the significance of understanding one’s lineage in spiritual practices.

She also addresses the issues of cultural appropriation within spirituality and emphasizes the need for inclusivity and social justice in spiritual spaces.

And the biggest, most spiritual thing you can do? Embrace exactly who you are.

Here are a few topics Natalie unpacks in Episode 3:

• Growing up in a conservative Christian environment that impacted her spiritual expression

• Coming out as bisexual and the challenges it caused because of societal expectations

• How the journey of recovery from addiction led her to explore new spiritual beliefs

• Feeling the call to nature-based spirituality and witchcraft

• How embracing one’s ancestry is crucial for authentic spirituality

• The cultural appropriation that is a significant issue in spiritual practices

• Ways that social justice is intertwined with spiritual practices

• Your humanness is the most spiritual aspect of your being

• Embracing neurodivergence and identity plays an essential role in your spirituality

Connect with Natalie!

• Come hang out on Instagram @natalieconnected

• Follow along on TikTok @natalieconnected

• Check out her website

If you enjoyed this episode of The Healing on the Fringe Podcast, help us spread the love by leaving a 5 star review! We love hearing your thoughts. Or share this episode with a friend who you know it would resonate with.

Questions, comments, emotions? Come say hi on Instagram: @natalieconnected

Thanks for listening!

This is something indigenous communities all over the world have been doing for centuries. So while this might be new-ish to the therapeutic spaces, that does not mean it is “new” information.

So what we are doing is less thinking and more feeling, and your feelings are experienced more in your body, rather than your mind.

I think of it like this: your body is the one doing the feeling, your mind is decoding those feelings, and your spirit or soul is making meaning out of your feelings.

We are basically giving your body a seat at the table when it comes to processing your emotional experiences. We are giving it a voice through sensation.

So in the beginning (for folks who are new to somatic work) it is quite simple. We are making connections between your emotions and your sensations.

This might sound like “I feel anxious and I feel tightness in my chest.” or “ I feel hollow in my stomach and I am feeling numb.”

You are learning a new language. That’s one of the reasons I love somatics so much, because once you learn the language, you don’t need therapy as much.

You can intellectualize and analyze all day long. And if you’re reading this, you’re probably really good at that by now.

But what the over thinking/analyzing is actually doing is it’s distracting you from feeling whats happening in your body.

And if you’re sitting there thinking “Well I don’t know what I feel in my body.” GREAT! Let’s start there.

Because it’s not that you’re not feeling anything, it’s that you’ve been so cut off from your body that you don’t know whats going on down there. Or how to interpret what’s going on down there.

So that’s where we start!

You may be seeing a lot of somatic accounts on social media with all kinds of release and movement practices - those are great.

But it’s not what we are doing in the majority of sessions.

The majority of sessions I am helping you learn how to let your body lead the conversation, rather than your thoughts.

In my sessions, this sounds a lot like: “If you hold your awareness on that sensation, what comes up next for you?” That could be a sound, color, texture, image, memory, or thought.

And we do this (in different ways) over and over until you are used to noticing whats happening in your body, as you are sharing an emotional experience.

From there, is when I’ll bring in other, more methodical somatic modalities like somatic experiencing or somatic EMDR.

If you’re looking for more on how to somatic healing plays a role in trauma recovery, listen to the podcast episode below!

Turning Rainbow Stones

Healing Through Somatics and the Nervous System

Your body is constantly speaking to you, it’s just a matter of learning how to listen. And when it comes to healing from trauma, your body is an integral part of that process…

Listen now

15 days ago · Natalie Alderson

With tenderness,

Natalie

In this episode, Natalie shares her personal journey and insights on how somatic therapy can help individuals reconnect with their bodies, process trauma, and establish a sense of safety within themselves.

Here are a few topics Natalie unpacks in Episode 2:

• How finding safety in one’s own body is crucial for healing.

• The nervous system and how it plays a key role in trauma responses.

• Listening to your body’s cues

• Healing is holistic and must include the body, mind, and spirit.

• Somatic exercises that can enhance your body awareness.

Connect with Natalie!

• Come hang out on Instagram @natalieconnected

• Follow along on TikTok @natalieconnected

• Check out her website

If you enjoyed this episode of The Healing on the Fringe Podcast, help us spread the love by leaving a 5 star review! We love hearing your thoughts. Or share this episode with a friend who you know it would resonate with.

Questions, comments, emotions? Come say hi on Instagram: @natalieconnected

Thanks for listening!

Personally, and professionally - it feels like there is a collective conscious that is in a major readjustment when it comes to relationships.

That means that relationships are changing, and what comes up when relationships change?

Attachment wounds.

So whether you lean anxious, avoidant, or disorganized - we’re gonna talk about what to do with yourself when this happens.

The sensation that comes up the most with attachment wounds is untethered.

Like you are floating through space and you don’t have a leash to the satellite.

Imagine how fucking terrifying that would be? Yeah, your nervous system feels that.

Because attachment creates security through a tether.

When you are little, the tether is connected to your caregiver.

They release you to the world to explore, but you always have a through line back to safety. At least that’s the ideal scenario.

Now if that tether in childhood was connected to someone unavailable or harmful - then you probably know the sensation I’m talking about well.

The one where feel so lost that your anxiety crashes on the beach like a never ending set of waves.

Or the one where you feel so scared that you become an island, and drown yourself in the books or movies that help you escape.

Here’s where I see most people addressing their attachment wounds getting it wrong..

They are trying to find certainty as a means of feeling safe.

That will never work in the long term, because life is uncertain.

So the reassurance you are seeking from your partner may feel good in the moment, but it likely won’t last into the next day.

It won’t translate to more trust.

See the thing about attachment is that it often needs reassurance from YOU more than it does the other person.

You will never find the certainty you are looking for, because relationships are uncertain.

So what your nervous system needs is to know you have your own back.

That’s why somatic therapy works so well.

You build a mechanism and a language for hearing what your body is telling you, and responding to it.

Your body starts to feel you have your own back.

That gives way for the negative self-talk to rewrite itself.

That creates a path for exploring the world in ways you haven’t even dreamed of yet.

Because the creative part of your brain will flick back on eventually.

And the colors will become brighter, and the world will seem more open to you.

It’s helpful to refer to your attachment system as it’s own entity, that way you know when it is a relational trigger you are dealing with.

If my attachment system is triggered, I am going to meet myself very differently than if I am just feeling triggered by something someone said that felt hurtful.

My invitation to you is to find 3 practices that help you connect with you. Practices you can lean on when you feel that untethered sensation.

EFT tapping, yoga, painting, journaling, making art, talking out loud to yourself, giving yourself a hug, etc.

Get as creative as you want. Lately I’ve been putting on a song that really speaks to me, and letting my body move to it.

Remember, when an attachment figure (parent, partner, best friend, etc.) lets you down or bums you out. Maybe they cancel plans last minute or don’t answer when you call.

LET YOURSELF BE BUMMED. And take the energy you were planning to pour into them, back into yourself.

And watch how your attachment system transforms.

With gentle care,

Natalie

I sat down to write an article on my story - from addicted to heroin to licensed somatic therapist - and my heart wasn’t in it.

Yes, my story is gnarly. It is central to why I do the work I do, who I do it with, and the specific way I do it.

But honestly, in this moment, I’m tired of telling it.

There comes a time when you’re healing from trauma when you’re just exhausted by it all.

You’ve been working, talking, feeling, journaling, processing.

Making connections back to your past and the hurt parts of you that created the very patterns you’re trying to break.

It’s beautiful, powerful, meaningful.

And it’s exhausting, redundant, and painful.

So am I a badass for being where I am today? Absolutely. By a lot of standards, I should be dead.

I’ve been through abuse, addiction, traumatic grief from losing both my mom and step mom to terminal cancer, heartbreak, sexual assault, and more.

I’ve also found magic in places my little self never would have dreamed of.

She would have never imagined the life I am living today, because it would have just broken her heart to think she’d never have it.

I can feel her shock sometimes, deep in my bones.

Sometimes, she is afraid I am going to get in trouble.

Like I am doing something wrong, just by being myself.

Because I am the first in my lineage to do that, and to be honest, being myself has gotten me in trouble.

The kind of trouble that threatens being accepted by others.

But that potential loss of acceptance is really scary for her.

This is what makes relationships so difficult when you are healing from trauma.

The attachment wounds make it hard to connect in a meaningful way without it feeling like a threat to your literal life.

This is why connection is central to the way I conceptualize the work I am doing with people.

The question I stay curious with is simple: how has the trauma impacted your connection to self, relationships, community, and the earth?

How are those things shifting and changing throughout the work?

So if you’re exhausted by telling your story, I see you.

I feel that deep in my bones too.

And you don’t have to keep telling it.

I tell people who come in to do trauma work with me, we can do this one of 2 ways:

1. We can go back to the memories themselves and unpack them

2. Or we can work with what’s happening in the present that is a result of your past

We can do a blend of those too, and that’s usually the most common course.

But what I want you to walk away with today is permission to acknowledge how far you’ve come, without having to revisit it.

And if you want to hear my actual story, you can listen to Episode 1 of my podcast Healing on the Fringe.

Please note: if you are working with me currently and don’t want deeply personal information about me, then skip this episode.

With gentle care,

Natalie 🌈

The first ever episode of Healing on the Fringe is HERE! Natalie shares her personal journey with trauma, addiction, healing, struggles with identity and how storytelling is an integral part of the healing process.

She emphasizes the significance of creating safe spaces for healing and the transformative power of rituals in recovery. Tune in to hear her vulnerable and intimate story of going from addict to becoming a therapist and everything in between.

Here are a few topics Natalie unpacks in Episode 1:

• How healing is a journey, not a destination.

• Spirituality’s role in personal growth.

• How PTSD can manifest long after the trauma occurs.

• The importance of having community support on your healing journey

• How she celebrated her first sobriety anniversary in her Master’s in Clinical Psychology program

• If you’re not including the body in therapy, you’re not doing your job

• Entrepreneurship is one of the most spiritual things I’ve ever done.

Connect with Natalie!

• Come hang out on Instagram @natalieconnected

• Follow along on TikTok @natalieconnected

• Check out her website

If you enjoyed this episode of The Healing on the Fringe Podcast, help us spread the love by leaving a 5 star review! We love hearing your thoughts. Or share this episode with a friend who you know it would resonate with.

Questions, comments, emotions? Come say hi on Instagram: @natalieconnected

Thanks for listening!

This is my most requested guide. It is called a container exercise, and it is designed to help you support your physical experience as you process something emotional. It helps to build the skill of working with your emotions somatically, outside of therapy/coaching sessions.

When you avoid difficult feelings, they end up coming out in other (often unintentional) ways. Building this skill will help you show up in your life in the way you want to, and give you something to do in between your therapy/coaching sessions to keep your healing journey moving.

This guide is useful when:

1. You know you have big feelings that need your attention, but are afraid to feel them.

2. You want to feel different. You feel stuck in anxiety or sadness, and are desiring a shift.

3. You are going through grief and need a contained space to feel it.

4. You are making a decision and trying to find your true feelings about what you want.

The physical and the emotional are not separate. That is why we have terms like “emotional hangover” or “vulnerability hang over.” Emotional exhaustion is well documented by highly regarded researchers like the Mayo Clinic.

This is compounded by times of societal unrest. In the US, queer communities (and all other marginalized communities), face increasing safety risks. Trans folks are watching as their rights are stripped daily. People of different sexual orientations are afraid of losing their family structures. Racism, sexism, ableism, and many others are increasing in frequency.

Neurodivergent folks are feeling the microscope being put on our experiences. The world continues to be a place not built for our brains, and that masking is exhausting as well.

So it makes creating space to be with the truth of your experience even harder. How am I supposed to have the capacity for my grief, when I am watching communities get torn apart?

For that, I don’t have an answer. And I am certainly not going to indicate that this exercise is the answer to big questions like that.

In the last few years, I have come to realize that safety is a privilege. So I have shifted my language to describe something more along the lines of: feeling like you have 2 feet flat on the earth.

That is a moment we can all aim for, even if it is just a moment. This exercise is here to help you do that. It is designed to give you a way to use the reality that the physical and emotional are not separate to your advantage.

You are going to do that by supporting your physical body with a container, so that your emotional body can process all it needs to process.

A few disclaimers:

1. If you are experiencing major depression or panic, please be in touch with a licensed therapist. This is not a replacement for therapy.

2. If you are in a crisis, please dial the 988 mental health hotline (US only). If you are outside the US, please find and contact your local crisis hotline.

3. This exercise is designed to help you be present with a challenging emotional experience, but it can be used to ground you as well.

Here’s what you’re going to do:

Create a container. Think of a container as a sofa with all your favorite comforts around. Squishies, fidgets, essential oils, water, tea, noise canceling headphones, weighted blankets, etc. All of the things that help you feel grounded and comfortable. A container is setting you up to physically support yourself as much as you can so that you can go to the emotional depths you need to.

Listen to the audio. I recommend listening with headphones, if possible. This will help drown out other distractions and help you attune to your body.

Journal or create art. After listening to the audio, give yourself a way to process that is nonverbal. That could be journaling, walking, or art. Draw the colors you noticed, write down the sensations and emotions that came up. Let yourself get creative with how you want to do this.

Make a self-care plan. This is how you are going to nourish yourself after the experience. Here are some examples: make or order your favorite meal, plan for rest, stay hydrated, take a shower or bath, etc.

I often tell folks I work with to treat big emotional sessions (like somatic EMDR) like you just got a deep tissue massage or ran a marathon. Make sure you take really good care of yourself, and meet your basic needs as best you can. Drink water, eat food, let your body rest.

Please adapt and curate this to meet your unique needs. The goal is not to do it “right” or “perfect.” The intention is to make it work for YOU. That way, the Feeling Space is something you can come back to over and over.

If you felt supported by this exercise, please share it with a loved one so it can reach the hearts that need it!

With lots of gentleness,

Natalie

It comes through as a hollowness in my chest, one that aches to be filled.

But it functions more like a ballon, so when I try to fill it, it pops.

And the sensation becomes bigger and harder to manage.

So I just stand here frozen, hoping someone asks me if I’m okay.

While at the same time dreading that question, because how am I supposed to answer?

And I supposed to be honest? “I feel emotional pain all over my body and I’m afraid it will never go away.”

But I know that will make me burst into tears.

So I answer the way I always do, “I’m fine, how are you?”

And they respond by talking about themselves, while that hollow sensation gets bigger.

Followed by a kick in the gut when they walk away.

And I’ve missed yet another bid for connection, only making me feel more lonely.

________________________

This feeling is one so many people recovering from trauma know all to well. Being surrounded by people who don’t actually see you.

Or at least not the current you. The one who is finally acknowledging and working through the trauma.

The one who can see all the painful patterns but has no idea what the path forward looks like.

The one who has a had the “veil of normal” ripped off and are feeling exposed.

Raw and vulnerable.

I know you. I am you. I have been there and sat across from this feeling more times then I can count.

Here’s are the questions I want you to answer:

1. What would it be like for you to take one step in the direction of letting someone actually hold you?

2. What things are you doing that make you feel like you have your own back?

Answering those questions will bring you clarity on how you can help yourself and how you can lean on community.

You deserve to be seen in your vulnerability. You deserve to be held in your rawness.

Sending you all the gentleness and care,

Natalie

Many trauma survivors today are faced with the same reality: watching the collective navigate trauma they already know well. Myself included.

So many of us are going to work, seeing tragic (and often gruesome) news, and doing our best to get back to the email inbox or the next meeting.

It’s dystopian, and it feels wildly wrong in our minds and bodies.

The natural response is to shut it down. How can anyone be asked to hold realities like genocide, the Epstein files, the attempt to erase trans folks? The list goes on and on.

But this sensation is one that any trauma survivor knows all too well.

Going to work with unpredictable memories flashing and reminders of the pain just around the corner.

Constant tension in the body, the desire to escape by any means necessary.

What’s different about today is that the thing people have reached for to soothe their pain has become the source of it.

Social media was once a place to watch funny cat videos and get distracted. But now its filled with reminders of how horrifically people can treat each other.

My ask of you today is to not let it turn you off to your body.

I know how unsafe it feels to know the information we know now.

But we can’t hold it alone. So get the support, find a community, tap into ways you can contribute to good.

The main skill that is gained for anyone navigating trauma recovery is learning how to sit with emotional pain. How to let it move through your body so it doesn’t consume you anymore.

One of the few places trauma recovery comes in handy is being able to have that sense of empathy and go “First time? Oh no, not my first time haha.”

So we know how to do this, even though this moment is so unprecedented.

We know the negative impacts chronic stress has on the body. It can impact nearly all the systems, causing psychosomatic symptoms that can be hard to track. (Effects of stress on the body: William Shaw, PhD; Susan Labott-Smith, PhD, et.al.)

One of the main culprits for perpetuating those negative impacts is the constant tension of muscles. (Effects of stress on the body: William Shaw, PhD; Susan Labott-Smith, PhD, et.al.)

It’s bracing for impact, and it makes so much sense.

So remember, staying connected to your body is resistance. It’s where your intuition lives and where your power lies.

But you have to slow down enough to listen.

Today I want to give you a simple way to slow down and manage that stress.

And it goes like this:

1. Get into a comfortable space. It can be anywhere: in a chair, on the floor, with headphones playing soothing music, or without. Get as creative as you’d like, and bring all the comfort aids you feel called to. For me, it’s usually noise cancelling headphones, a dark room, on the floor, with some essential oils.

2. Find the tension in your body and nurture it. That could be breathing into that space, gently stretching the area, self-massage, gentle brushing, or simply placing a hand on the spaces that feel like they are holding it all.

3. Stay there as long or as short as you feel called. There is no wrong way to do this (I see you, fellow neurosparkly folks). This is simply about noticing the parts of your body that are holding tension and gently responding.

While the world continues to feel completely out of our control, you can control how you engage with your emotional body.

I hope this simple practice becomes something that helps you find some stable ground, again and again.

With love and revolutionary support,

Natalie

I was diagnosed with PTSD back in 2016 when I went to rehab for the 2nd time. I have been sober ever since.

Back then, I was using alcohol and cocaine to keep the flashbacks away, and it worked until it didn’t. As does all addiction behavior.

Fast forward, and that PTSD went into remission about 5 years ago.

So last night has been really hard for me to shake.

It feels like the solid earth that was once below my feet has cracked. One foot on one side, and one foot on the other.

Will the crack get wider? Will it go back together? Am I safe here anymore?

The thought takes the air from my lungs.

Because the day before I felt like I was touching pure joy for the first time in months.

Fall and most of winter have been hard seasons for me, and I felt like I was finally coming up for air.

Like I was recently pulled back onto land from the dark depths of the ocean, wet on the sand with the sun on my skin.

Just starting to thaw.

Just starting to feel safe in my joy again.

Because joy is fucking scary when you’re recovering from trauma.

Read more

So I can burn my life to the ground at any given moment.

Because that was the only way I could ever get my needs met.

The only way I ever really felt seen.

It’s taken a decade of work to train my nervous system to believe that I don’t have to go to those extremes anymore.

But it is so comforting to put my hand on my pocket and know it’s there.

She looked at me and said, “It sounds to me like you’re not the one lighting the matches anymore.”

It must thrive in it.

It must rest and rejuvenate enough to bloom

for the short period of time the sun is out.

I can’t help but notice that

my pain opens in the darkness

when it doesn’t have to fear being seen.

Maybe it knows the light is coming soon,

and maybe it hopes that it never arrives.

No matter what the hopes of pain might be

it needs to be witnessed

whether it’s by eyes or the dark

I think the dark is a beautiful place to start.

“It’s been a brutal winter” she says.

To no one in particular.

My heart is aching, the streets are shaking,

and people are scared to go outside.

So what if we go outside together?

And hold each others hands.

We can stand up to the brutality together,

and stay to witness where we land.

No matter what happens next,

there is one thing I know for sure..

We can stand it better together,

Then we ever could alone.

How to Contribute During Times of Political Unrest

Feeling overwhelmed by the state of the world? You’re not alone.

The systems in power want you to feel frozen and helpless—but you have more power than you realize. This guide will help you move from overwhelm to action, one simple step at a time.

3 Ways to Make Your Voice Heard

1. Protest with Your Wallet 💰

Your spending is your vote. Every dollar is a choice about the world you want to create.

COMPANIES TO BOYCOTT:

• Target, Starbucks, Amazon, Walmart, McDonald’s, Pepsi, Coca-Cola, Nestlé

• This is a starting list—research companies’ values before spending

BETTER CHOICES:

• Shop small and local businesses

• Support BIPOC and queer-owned businesses

• Buy from cooperatives and ethical brands

  • A simple search of “[brand name] ethical practices” will give you a lot of good information before you make a purchase

DONATE (if accessible):

• The Trevor Project - LGBTQ+ crisis intervention

• Heal Palestine - Palestine mutual aid organization

• Not Us Without You LA - Immigrant organization

Find organizations local to you:

• Mutual aid organizations in your area

• Bail funds and legal defense funds

• Local food banks and homeless shelters

2. Protest with Your Body ✊

Your physical presence matters—whether it’s in the streets or your community.

SHOW UP:

• Attend local protests and rallies

• Volunteer at food banks, mutual aid events

• Join community organizing meetings

• Participate in voter registration drives

WEAR YOUR VALUES:

• Buy shirts/art from marginalized artists

• Display yard signs supporting causes you believe in

• Wear pins, stickers, or symbols that spark conversations

CREATE EVENTS:

• Host community support gatherings

• Organize clothing or food drives

• Start a neighborhood mutual aid network

3. Protest with Your Voice 📢

Your words can change minds and build movements.

IN PERSON:

• Host community conversations about current issues

• Have respectful, curious dialogue with people who disagree

• Speak up when you witness discrimination

• Support others’ voices by listening and amplifying

ONLINE:

• Share resources and mutual aid organizations

• Amplify BIPOC, queer, and marginalized voices

• Post educational content about issues you care about

• Use your platform to redirect attention to important causes

Community Care = Revolutionary Care

Remember: Taking care of each other IS activism.

• Babysit so a friend can protest

• Share meals with struggling neighbors

• Check on community members’ mental health

• Offer rides, childcare, or other support

• Create safe spaces for processing difficult emotions

We can only show up for justice when we’re taking care of ourselves and each other.

Getting Started: Your Next Step

Reflect on these questions:

1. Which approach feels most accessible to you right now?

2. What do you need to nourish yourself first?

3. What’s one small action you can take this week?

Start small. Pick ONE thing from this guide and try it. Sustainable activism is about consistency, not perfection.

Additional Resources

Apps & Tools

• Buycott - Scan products to see if they align with your values

• Resistbot - Text “RESIST” to 50409 to contact your representatives

Finding Local Action

• Search “[your city] + mutual aid”

• Check Facebook for local activist groups

• Visit your library’s community board

• Follow local organizers on social media

• Contact your city council about volunteer opportunities

Continue Your Journey

Want guided practices? Listen to Episode #9 of Healing on the Fringe for a somatic grounding exercise.

Ready to go deeper? Check out Episode #7 on true allyship and social justice.

Remember: You don’t have to save the world alone. Small actions by many people create massive change.

Your voice matters. Your actions matter. You matter.

Sending you love and revolutionary support,Natalie

My favorite part of this time of year it the effort humans put into creating light in the darkness.

My neighborhood is drenched in holiday lights, candles are light in the windows, and fire places are ablaze.

It all brings warmth to the tender places of my heart that are often processing a lot of emotional density this time of year.

The holiday season has felt complicated for as long as I can remember.

My mother died of terminal cancer when I was 24, and that shifted everything.

My step mother died of terminal cancer when I was 32, and that shifted everything again.

This year I am 36 years old, and I am hosting the holiday at my house for the first time ever, and it feels like everything is shifting yet again.

The veil of a “normal” childhood is being ripped from my sight for what feels like the hundredth time, and I am seeing things I couldn’t see before.

It is painful and relieving at the same time. Things don’t feel confusing anymore, but that brings a lot of grief with it.

The ritual I am sharing with you today has been a powerful way for me to make magic and create my own traditions this time of year.

Which has been incredibly healing.

If there’s one thing my mom and step mom were good at, it was making this time of year feel magical.

And I am finding ways to create that for myself and for my family.

It’s different though.

The layers below the image of perfection have emotional depth and safety.

12 magical nights was the catalyst for me to start doing something that felt truly authentic and rooted in my family’s ancestry.

This is an open practice, so feel free to play with it and make it your own.

Part 2: the ritual

On the eve of the Winter Solstice, you will write down 13 wishes. (You can actually start this anytime between the Winter Solstice and the New year, so you’re not too late!)

The next night, you will light a candle, burn a wish, and pull a tarot card (optional).

You’ll do this every night for 12 nights.

The reason this is so powerful is because the sun’s light will be increasing along with the seeds of intention you are planting with your wishes.

At the end of the 12 nights, you’ll have 1 wish left and 12 tarot cards.

The wish you have left is up to you to fulfill, the rest is up to the universe.

The 12 tarot cards are your 2026 year spread, one representing the energy of each month of the year.

Part 3: the twist

In my home, we create a twist on a Yule log, as a nod to my German ancestry and my wife’s Jewish ancestry.

First, I go on the hunt in our community to find us the perfect log.

Next, we clean it up and dry it out so it’s ready when the solstice is near.

On the eve of the Winter Solstice, we bring it inside to decorate.

My wife drills 12 holes for 12 candles, as a nod to a menorah.

I bring in dried berries, evergreen, pinecones, etc. to decorate with.
(see photo of this years Yule log below!)

And we light a new candle every night of the 12 nights to burn our wishes on.

This is our 3rd year doing it, and it’s been so special and healing to bring our own magic to the season.

I can’t wait to show my daughter when she is old enough to join us!

So if there’s anything I invite you to take from this today, it’s that no matter what your circumstances, magic is always available.

Whether you find it, or create it yourself - it is there - waiting for you to discover it.

Sending lots of love to my fellow tender hearts.

Happy Holiday

It is when you realize what you experienced was not in fact normal. When the “ignorance is bliss” is stripped away. When there is no longer giving the “benefit of the doubt.”

For me, this has happened over and over again. I’ve often described it to my wife as, “the older I get, the more fucked up I realize it all was.”

But it’s so much deeper than that. It’s an ache in my chest that I can’t quite describe, because once again, language falls short.

The painful realization that I never really had a safe person to attach to, causing a level of hyper emotional independence that left me feeling isolated and alone.

It’s sudden tears out of no where because of the profound grief I feel for the little version of me who didn’t know any better.

It’s profound grief for the current version of me that doesn’t really know what a healthy attachment figure feels like.

It’s hard to be present with, and it’s hard not to be present with. It demands my attention and my emotional awareness. It demands to be felt in the deepest parts of my body, where my emotions are kept safe from me until I am ready to feel them.

The veil of normal is the way you see any situation you viewed as “normal” until you realize it’s not. Until you realize that’s not what other people are facing.

It is an experience I have witnessed across the board in myself and the hundreds of clients I have worked with who are healing from childhood trauma.

It is unbearable at times, and it is something I am experiencing once again, for what feels like the hundredth time.

All I can tell you right now is that creativity is my oxygen mask when the healing work takes my breath away.

And I don’t think I have to tell you that this type of “taking my breath away” is not the fun one we reference when we think about love.

It’s the one that leaves you questioning if you will survive or not.

And while part of me knows that if you’re reading this, you already knew exactly what I meant..

The other part of me has to clarify in a desperate attempt to be understood.

While this concept came into creation by way of healing childhood trauma, I have found it applies to many other areas of life and healing.

But that is for another day.

Welcome to, the Veil of Normal.