The larger-than-life Rocky Mountains. The crystal-blue alpine lakes. The iridescent wildflowers that made Crayola’s color palette look like child’s play.

The views would take my breath away. I rode highs of awe and wonder.

That chapter ignited a spark in me that had never existed before—a zest for life and an appreciation for nature that my soul desperately needed.

After years of living in a numbed-out void of chronic illness, Colorado made me feel alive again.

And that joy catalyzed more healing than any protocol I’d ever tried.

But now, I’ve entered a new season.

I’ve been called back to North Carolina. To be closer to family. And because, well… God told me it was time.

The pace of life is much different here.

It’s slower. Simpler.

I’m no longer hiking 14,000-foot mountains on the weekends.

I’m walking my parents’ Goldendoodle around the cul-de-sac.

I’m back to living the typical American lifestyle.

A humbling reality check.

And yet, while I’m still coming down from my Rocky Mountain high, something about this new season just feels right.

I used to resent the mundane.

But now I see the world with fresh eyes.

Because the truth is, the most transformative part of my Colorado experience wasn’t the black diamonds or the Aspen trees.

It was finding Jesus.

My faith has changed me on the inside.

Now, I see God in everything.

The chirping of the birds early in the morning.

The little kid ripping his scooter around the block.

The conversation with my hairdresser I didn’t know was a Christian.

The sunset melting above the trees on my evening stroll.

The saturation on life has turned up one hundredfold.

I see things I never noticed before.

I feel love for people I used to ignore.

I’ve returned to living in a place I once hated, but I no longer do.

Because now that I know Jesus, everything else is icing on the cake.

We all want a life that will fulfill us.

We want beauty, experiences, adventure, and love.

And there’s nothing wrong with wanting those things. I share those same desires.

But what I’ve found is that “on earth as it is in heaven” is really a mindset.

Heaven becomes your reality when you know God—because His love fills you and flows through you.

You become a channel of the love and light that comes from above.

I see God even in the quaintest of moments.

I feel Him walking with me through the humid Carolina heat.

I won’t pretend to know exactly what He’s cooking up in this new chapter.

But I do know one thing without a doubt anymore: God is with me.

And somehow, that truth fills me with all the joy I could ever need.

I know it feels kind of criminal to be making soup in this weather, but I’ve been craving this one and it is SOOOO easy.

Something about a white bean soup just feels like the end of summer. The green salsa verde, the crisp herby flavors… it just works.

This is one of those recipes that somehow tastes fresh and cozy at the same time. It’s a year-round staple in my kitchen.

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My favorite kind of recipe.

I just moved to Charlotte, North Carolina, where my parents also live, so my solo dinners have slowly turned into family dinners. I’m using the opportunity to load everyone up with soluble fiber and get a little more creative in the kitchen—because cooking for other people is way more fun.

My mom gets a weekly box of seasonal produce from a local farm, and I love it because you get what you get. It pushes me outside of my comfort zone in the plant kingdom and inspires me to experiment with ingredients I might not have picked out myself.

Plus, it ensures we’re getting a diverse variety of micronutrients in the mix—just the way God intended.

This recipe was born from one of those produce boxes and a fridge full of vegetables that needed a purpose. The result is a simple, nourishing pasta that’s packed with fiber, color, and all the flavors of summer.

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I wanted to create a beany dish that captures the light, herbaceous spirit of Italy.

While it’s definitely not your average Caprese salad, I took that as my muse and loaded her up with even more nourishing ingredients.

Juicy heirloom tomatoes, fresh basil, lemony grilled chicken, chickpeas, and a tangy balsamic dressing.

Who says healing can’t taste like a vacation across the pond?

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He loves showering us with His love.

He loves sending us signs and surprises that make us stop and think, “That was You.”

He’s our Father after all.

It brings Him joy to bring us joy.

It’s so easy to forget this.

We’re so focused on “taking up our cross” that we forget why we’re called to in the first place.

God didn’t save us because He needed us.

He saved us because He loved us.

He created us to share in His life.

And in His joy.

God has reminded me of this truth so clearly.

Just a few years ago, I was so addicted to suffering.

Finding my worth in my hustle and my identity in my pain.

I thought if life felt easeful I wasn’t trying hard enough.

But something inside me always told me this was so wrong.

Maybe it was my distended gut, raging anxiety or mountains of cystic acne — I DON’T KNOW?!

But my heart craved a life that was softer.

A love that was greater.

Something I had never experienced, but knew in my chest was out there.

Losing my health gave me the kick in the butt I needed.

The guilt, shame and striving had only buried me deeper.

Believing in something greater became my only hope before I even had proof.

So I did something completely out of character.

I quit my job and moved to Colorado with my best friends.

It was the first decision I’ve ever made based on on intuition, not logic.

I thought I was crazy. I’m sure many people did too.

But God quickly showed me that the unknown is not something to fear.

Walking by faith gives Him the chance to fill us with His joy.

So many good things started to flow in when I finally let God lead.

Friends who really loved me.

Adventures that expanded my worldview.

A job opportunity that helped me launch my business.

A perfect home for my friends and I to live.

A community of believers.

A boy who cracked open my heart again.

All of them were things I never could have created on my own.

So far outside of my limited vision for life.

Things I never knew I needed. But God did.

He knows every hair on my head.

The day my friends and I officially moved into our home in Denver, God wanted to make one thing unmistakably clear.

This wasn’t luck.

This wasn’t coincidence.

This was Him.

He painted a double rainbow right over our little townhouse.

It felt like a movie.

We laughed and danced in the sun shower.

We took 5 billion pictures.

We hugged. We cried.

We praised God for the miracle of it all.

I picture God up in heaven looking down at that sight with tears in His eyes.

His three little daughters freaking out over this perfect gift from their Father.

His joy becoming our joy.

And our joy becoming His.

God knew we’d understand that sign.

It was His way of saying,

“See? You can trust Me.”

He brought us to Colorado so He could save us.

He guided us there to show us that He was what we’d been missing all along.

And then...

For the next three years, He kept showing off.

It never rains in Colorado.

And yet every single year, on the anniversary of moving into that house, a rainbow appeared over the exact same spot.

Only once a year.

You just can’t make that up.

Every year it caught me completely by surprise.

I was never paying attention to the date.

I was never expecting it.

But every single time, my response was the same.

Pure, childlike, unrestrained joy.

Tears.

Laughter.

Wonder.

The kind that makes you know, deep in your bones, that everything is going to be okay.

This year hit me the hardest.

My room was all packed up.

It was my last day in Colorado.

After the most profound three years of my life, I was grieving what I was leaving behind while stepping into another unknown.

I was literally lying on the floor when one of my roommates came barreling downstairs.

“THERE’S A RAINBOW OVER THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW.”

“WHATTTTTTTT?!”

We sprinted upstairs and stood on the roof, dancing in God’s glory one last time.

It’s hard to comprehend the vastness of God’s love for us.

Some days we don’t feel it.

Some days fear is so loud we wonder if He’s still there.

But then there are days when God gives us a little gift.

Something that’s just between Him and us.

A reminder.

A whisper.

A moment that says,

“I’m here.”

“I see you.”

“You can trust Me still.”

God sees you.

He knows you.

He guides you.

And He delights in you.

I’ve stopped believing that joy is something I have to earn.

It’s something my Father loves to give.

Sometimes it looks like healing.

Sometimes it looks like miracles.

Sometimes it looks like courage to step into the unknown.

And sometimes, if you’re as lucky as I’ve been…

It looks like a rainbow over a perfect little townhouse in Colorado.

What a God.

“You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.” Psalm 16:11

Xo, Audrey

Ultimately, whatever we’re afraid of hasn’t happened in the present moment.

That’s why we’re scared. Our brains enter fear when they start predicting a future bad outcome.

Whether it’s something we’re afraid is going to happen in the next 20 seconds or the next 20 years, the things we fear have yet to happen. They aren’t actually real.

But this does not minimize the very real experience of fear.

Our brains default to fear when the outcome is unknown based on what we can see. Or, based on our past experiences, when the outcome is likely to be dangerous.

Our brains are worst-case scenario planners. They prioritize our survival above all else.

But it wasn’t always this way. This was not a part of God’s original design.

Fear entered the world the moment humanity chose separation from God.

Fear is not from God. It is the result of believing the wrong things about Him.

The Birth of Fear

Let’s go back to the garden.

God’s creation was perfect.

Everything we could ever need, God had provided. Adam and Eve were frolicking around naked, but they felt no shame.

But then, the serpent entered the scene.

He caused Eve to question God’s goodness.

He twisted God’s instructions for life to make it seem as if God was withholding something from them.

Eve fell for it. Her trust in God waned.

Adam and Eve thought they knew better than God and chose to defy His instructions.

Then everything changed.

“She saw the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then, she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it too. At that moment their eyes were opened and suddenly they felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves. When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord among the trees.” Genesis 3:6-8

This is what we call sin. It is the result of disconnecting ourselves from God. Fear is what follows sin. We become afraid when we forget who God really is.

That’s what is fascinating here.

Adam and Eve did not become afraid because God had become dangerous.

God never changed, but their perception of Him did.

Their pride led them to abandon God. Their sin led them into fear. Fear sent humanity into survival mode — because without God, we feel unsafe and dysregulated.

Fear of the World vs. Fear of God

This is why the Bible talks a ton about fear.

There are actually two distinct types of fear mentioned in Scripture: fear of the world and fear of God.

Adam and Eve experienced the fear of the world when they fell into sin.

This is what we call “fight or flight” today, aka survival mode.

Rooted in self-preservation and ultimately selfishness, fearing the world leads us to believe we must protect ourselves.

Fear of God is much different.

It is not the kind of fear that makes us run and hide.

It fills us with peace.

To fear God means to be overwhelmed with awe, reverence, and wonder of his incomprehensible love.

We are shaken to our core by His power.

We desire to entrust our entire lives back to Him.

Freedom from Fear

So while the world tells us that the solution to fear is courage, it is not.

True freedom from fear is found in humility.

Recognizing who God is and who we are in His divine and perfect order.

As God becomes bigger, we become smaller and our problems do too.

Ironically, fearing God is what sets us free from fearing everything else.

We live in a broken world.

Disease, disorder, divorce, destruction, death — all realities we have to face.

If you look around you, there are many things to fear.

And if your happiness rests on life becoming perfect, you will never fully arrive.

But when you fear God, you can experience joy in the midst of all of it.

You can live in peace despite the pain.

Our world may have become distorted, but God’s character never changed.

Having faith is about knowing who God is.

Fixing our eyes up instead of out.

Placing our hope in Him alone as everything we need.

How to Apply This to Your Life

By now you’re probably wondering how you can achieve this in your life.

We all want freedom from fear.

But that’s the thing — you can’t get there on your own.

We need God in everything.

We can’t willpower our way through fear or live in complacency to avoid it.

We have to depend on God to walk through it.

Fear is not a curse, it is a compass pointing us back to God.

If faith is the antithesis to fear, making this shift starts with what we believe.

It starts in our mind.

The conscious and subconscious lies we have believed about God have to be replaced with truth.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2

This is why we were given the Bible. It tells us exactly who God is.

Matthew 4:4 says, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

We literally need Scripture to sustain us daily — to anchor us back to truth and protect us against fear.

We can’t trust God if we don’t know God. And we can’t know Him unless we give Him our time and attention consistently.

When we get in the Word daily, our relationship with God deepens naturally.

Over time, our fear gets replaced by faith as we remember who God is and recognize His provision in our lives.

From there, we gain awareness when fear rears its ugly head.

Instead of letting it sweep us away, we have discernment. We know it is not actually real.

We can choose to take those thoughts captive and surrender them to God.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.” Philippians 4:6

We stop carrying the weight of the world like we once did.

Instead, we bring every burden to God. We root ourselves deeper in His unchanging character — faithful, kind, good, patient, gentle, and loving.

And our minds begin to be filled with “a peace that surpasses understanding.”

Some may call this delusion, but God calls it faith.

Despite our circumstances, despite all reason and logic, despite what we can see, we experience freedom because we know God.

We know that He is working together with all things together for our good in the end.

Faith Requires Action

Faith starts in the mind, but is carried out in the body.

God doesn’t just ask us to trust Him, He calls us to walk by faith.

To move.

This can be the hardest part.

Because even when we know God know, we may doubt who we are.

We will be tempted to question our own strength, knowledge, ability, qualification, and stamina every step of the way.

And this is where God gives us the opportunity to level up.

If we truly believe in the God of the Bible, the God who loved us so much He sent His only Son Jesus to live for us, to die for us, and to be raised to new life again, then we also believe: That same resurrection power lives in each of us.

“My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

We believe that Christ didn’t just save us, He lives within us.

His strength becomes our strength. His life becomes our life.

So we don’t sit around idle waiting for the day of His return.

We give our lives to Him today.

We follow wherever He leads us.

We choose His will over ours.

We stop making excuses on our own limitations.

We believe we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength!

Jesus’s sacrifice enables us to do things we could never imagine doing on our own.

Our faith in Him allows us not just to believe, but to become all that God created us to be.

Healing by Faith

Perhaps you are navigating a season of seriously debilitating fear.

Maybe it’s even manifesting as painful, physical symptoms in your body right now.

I’m here to tell you from personal experience, this is actually a gift.

Your body is not your enemy. It is a messenger. It is here to break you free.

Fear was never God’s design. And you don’t have to live by it.

You were created to be fully known, loved, and held by God.

By putting your trust in Him, by opening His Word daily, by allowing Him to transform your mind, you can experience a healing you never thought possible.

You can be free.

The same God who walked with Adam and Eve in the garden is inviting you to walk with Him today.

Because He’s always loved you.

And He’s been patiently waiting for you to come home.

all my love, audrey

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Today, we’re making them from scratch.

Growing up in Tampa, Cuban food reminds me of my childhood.

Cheesy toast. Rotisserie chicken. Beans and rice. It hit every single time.

This version combines all of those nostalgic flavors into a simple, nourishing recipe you can make in the Instant Pot in about 15 minutes of cook time.

And if you don’t have an Instant Pot, you can absolutely make these on the stovetop too.

Choose your beany adventure.

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Nourishing ourselves should be exactly that—a labor of love.

What a gift it is to flood our bodies with the nutrients that help us heal. What an honor it is to participate in the miracle of God’s creation every time we pick up our fork. What a privilege it is to live in a body that was so intentionally designed and equipped with the very tools it needs to thrive.

It’s easy to get lazy when it comes to food. Trust me, I still pull up my Chipotle app from time to time—no shame. But when your perspective shifts from maintaining your body out of obligation to stewarding it with reverence, every meal becomes an act of worship.

Taking the time to prepare a beautiful plate no longer feels like a chore. It becomes a joy.

I had so much fun putting together this beany bowl. It’s packed with protein, soluble fiber, colorful vegetables, and intention. I made one big batch and enjoyed it throughout the week for easy dinners.

And trust me—it never got old.

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Not less nourishment. Less complication.

Lately I’ve been embracing the art of simplicity and finding beauty in the little things—romanticizing meals with mindful preparation, simple ingredients, and minimal steps.

Creating a beautiful, nourishing plate doesn’t have to be complicated.

It simply requires intention.

I’ve made plenty of dense bean salads over the years, but this one is my current summer favorite. It comes together in minutes, doesn’t require endless chopping, and combines all of my favorite Mediterranean-inspired flavors into one refreshing bowl.

Bright, colorful, hydrating, and packed with soluble fiber from chickpeas, it’s the perfect side dish, meal prep staple, or easy lunch paired with your favorite protein.

Highly recommend.

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I credit my healing to two things: Beans and God.

But really, they’re one and the same.

Beans led me to God and taught me so much about who He is.

His character is infused into every facet of His creation.

So through every high and low, every side quest and rabbit hole of my health journey, I’ve continue to return to beans.

The staple of my protocol and the laughably perfect example of God’s faithful design.

Healing is Simple

No supplement protocol. No mold detox. No parasite cleanse. No coffee enema. No somatic therapy. No nervous system regulation program.

Nothing ever provided me with the same results as the humble bean.

WOOF.

The wellness industry has gone whack.

Because it has become just that: an industry.

Health was never meant to be commercialized, commoditized, or complicated. It is our natural state of being.

Maintaining it is far simpler than we’ve been led to believe.

All of the fluff we’ve created is little more than distracting noise.

Beans showed me that.

Less is more.

Less inputs. Less rules. Less steps. Less stress.

We’ve added so many unnecessary layers.

The habit stacking has gotten so out of hand—don’t even get me started.

In our pursuit of wellness, we’ve become more unwell.

In our pursuit of regulation, we’ve become more dysregulated.

We’ve become disconnected from our bodies as we’ve outsourced our intuition to experts on the internet.

Beans showed me how simple healing could be.

My eating approach went from rigid and restrictive to nourishing and balanced.

My morning routine went from checking boxes to sitting with God.

When you drop all the “should’s” and focus instead on your actual needs, your entire being E X H A L E S.

You finally allow your body to do what it was designed to do:

Heal.

Sometimes the only thing holding back your progress is you getting out of the way.

Healing is Accessible

Wellness has become the rich man’s sport.

But it was never meant to be.

Because true wellness is not found in gym memberships, sauna clubs, and $10,000 detox protocols.

It’s found in nature.

In nourishment.

In sunlight.

In stillness.

In laughter.

In long walks.

In friendship.

In faith.

It’s even found in a 99-cent can of beans.

Oh, the irony.

God’s funny like that.

Healing takes time

For most of my journey I tried the “fast-food” approach to healing.

But beans showed me that slowing down produces the most magical fruit.

I too need to be soaked. I too need to be boiled and simmered.

I too needed time to soften, shed some layers, and become the thing God made me to be all along.

Stillness used to be my nemesis.

But healing has taught me it is the true pathway to life.

There is so much we can learn just in the way God designed beans to be prepared.

Presence is a meditation.

Our patience is what allows the process itself to nourish our souls.

Science is limited

Science is an incredible body of knowledge.

But lest we forget: Science is simply the study of God’s design.

It is limited in its scope. It gets things wrong. It evolves.

We are constantly uncovering tiny pieces of an infinitely intricate universe, but we will never fully crack the code.

There are countless debates surrounding legumes. They’re quite controversial for such a simple little thing.

We could argue all day about every chemical compound that makes up a bean.

We could study them under a microscope until our eyeballs fall out.

But we will never completely comprehend the divine interaction between every atom of a bean and every cell in the human body.

We can’t.

And we weren’t made to.

Because we are not God.

God’s design is perfect

But that’s the beautiful thing.

God’s design is perfect.

Everything He created serves a purpose.

Everything He made is infused with His wisdom.

When I took my first bite of beans, that became wildly apparent to me.

How could such a simple food make my mind feel so calm in what felt like an instant?

Because God made me and God made beans.

And He’s a pretty good chef.

“Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” — Isaiah 55:9

We may never fully understand God’s design.

But we can learn to trust it again.

Life became entangled in confusion when humanity first doubted God’s design in the Garden and chose to separate from it.

What led them there is the same thing that keeps us stuck today:

Forgetting who God is.

Getting to know God’s true character is what restores our faith in Him—in His creation, in our bodies, in our food, and in all of His design.

In a roundabout way, beans led me to crack open the Bible for the first time.

And through reading His story, I came to understand who God really is:

Kind.

Loving.

Good.

Faithful.

Patient.

Intentional.

Wise.

I no longer live in the same place of fear and doubt that I once did.

I see the beauty in God’s design.

And I trust it beyond my own understanding.

Because:

“God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.” — Genesis 1:31

I have what I need

I’ve stopped searching.

I’ve stopped striving.

I’ve stopped assuming there’s some missing piece hiding around the next corner.

“The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.” — Psalm 23:1

It’s true.

God withholds no good thing.

He does not make healing confusing.

He makes our paths straight.

This truth continues to settle deeper into my body and soul.

Healing was never meant to be my battle to fight.

It was an invitation to deepen my trust in God.

Every single day, God meets me exactly where I am.

He knows what I need.

He is my Father, after all.

So I continue to thank God for giving me my daily bread.

Or dare I say...

My daily beans ;)

Oh, the wisdom of the lowly legume.

I’ve had a resurgence of appreciation for the simple pleasures of life.

Morning walks. Coffee shop work sessions. Smiles from strangers. Turkey burgers.

There’s just something about minimalism that feels so right these days.

My days are feeling lighter and my meals are too.

Not in nutrition or flavor of course, but in complicated rules.

I have found a way of nourishing that works so well for my body.

I’m no longer overthinking or obsessing. I’ve entered a flow-state with food.

It took me a long time to get here, but I finally have peace with my plate.

Thank you GOD.

These turkey burgers are a current staple.

They’re making simplicity so easy to maintain.

With herbaceous flavors and lean protein, they’re exactly what summertime makes me crave.

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Or so I thought.

When I decided to get baptized earlier this year, it was because I finally accepted that reality.

Jesus is the Lord of my life. I am not. Let’s make it official.

Healing has made that reality loud and clear to me.

My own efforts at perfect health only lead to perpetual pain.

Beyond my body, there was a gaping hole inside my heart.

That’s why I am so grateful for the gift of chronic illness.

It strips away the illusion of control to reveal the core of God’s design.

We cannot save ourselves. We are as dependent as they come.

It took me a long time to see how beautiful this actually is.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

— 2 Corinthians 12:9

That verse would have made my skin crawl in the past.

Weakness felt vulnerable. Rest felt lazy. Receiving felt greedy. Anything worth having had to be earned.

While on the outside this may sound like a noble mentality, it was far from it.

It was rooted in pride. The silent belief that I could save myself.

I say all of this because I thought I had learned that lesson.

But God continues to show me that His lessons don’t require one passing exam.

His teachings are lifelong.

And in this season, I have entered a new level on the lesson of control.

Because to be honest, I kinda thought I had figured out God’s plan for my life.

But really… what’s the game plan?

I’m all in on “God’s will, not mine” these days.

But I was starting to think I’d cracked the code on exactly how that will would shake out.

His 3-5 year plan, if you will.

God said, “That’s funny.”

And I said, “You’re right…”

If His thoughts are nothing like ours and His ways are beyond what we can imagine, how can we ever expect to know what He’s got up His sleeve?

When it feels like things are changing, they aren’t.

Our “plans” are mere predictions.

God’s plan always looks different than we thought.

I’ve been laughing to myself about this recently.

At what point will I realize… that’s just the nature of life?

Divine Detours

I will say, for the first time ever, I’m not afraid of change.

I stand firm on the truth that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him.

So I know that anything that appears to be a monkey wrench in my plan, is actually a divine detour.

Leading me towards something better than I can perceive in my foresight.

Shaping me into something greater than I could ever create on my own.

C.S. Lewis responds perfectly to the question many believers and skeptics ask:

Why does life not get easier when we choose to follow Christ?

“Because God is forcing him on, or up, to a higher level; putting him into situations where he will have to be very much braver, or more patient, or more loving, than he ever dreamed of being before. It seems to us all unnecessary: but that is because we have not yet had the slightest notion of the tremendous thing He means to make of us.”

— Mere Christianity

Ahh ha. Yes.

That is why faith is required.

Not because God wants us to be submissive and naive.

But because we cannot see what He can.

We cannot become what He has planned for us on our own.

And if we knew the tremendous thing He meant to make of us, we’d likely run.

We wouldn’t believe it was possible because we don’t believe in ourselves.

But He doesn’t ask us to. He asks us to believe in Him.

The Sacred Waiting

God promised a Savior long before anyone could see how He would fulfill that promise.

Throughout Scripture, God often gives people promises long before they see the fulfillment.

God places desires on our hearts for a reason.

Sometimes He even gives us a glimpse of what could be. That’s real.

Your circumstances today do not disqualify that.

I believe the Holy Spirit fills our minds with these visions to guide us into deeper layers of faith.

Can we trust that God will still deliver when the path to get there looks different?

Can we find our fulfillment in Him above all?

These seasons of waiting are sacred.

They’re intentional.

They are part of the plan.

So instead of asking God how long He’ll have us waiting…

We should ask why He has us here in this moment, now.

The Tree in Me

I asked God to make me a tree.

At the beginning of this year, I started praying on Psalm 1.

“Oh, the joys of those who do not
follow the advice of the wicked,
or stand around with sinners,
or join in with mockers.

But they delight in the law of the Lord,
meditating on it day and night.

They are like trees planted along the riverbank,
bearing fruit each season.
Their leaves never wither,
and they prosper in all they do.”

— Psalm 1:1-3

I crave that joy.

I want that fruit.

I desire to prosper in all I do.

But God has recently revealed another lesson I am meant to learn from this verse.

I need to be planted.

Exactly where I am.

How can I expect to bear fruit without allowing Him to nourish my soil first?

Healing takes time.

Seasons that feel like waiting are often God’s way of inviting us deeper.

To simply be in His presence, where He can make us resilient and strong.

Learning to stay planted

So here I am in this season, becoming a tree.

Allowing God to do the healing inside me that only He can.

I can feel my roots anchoring deeper.

I can feel my faith growing stronger.

I can even see some fruit starting to form.

But I’m no longer rushing the process.

I’m staying planted.

Because if I know one thing, every season serves a purpose.

And God’s plans for me. They are good.

Stay planted friends.

Xo, Audrey

I’ve been burning this verse into my mind recently.

Because confusion is never from God.

I’ve gotten to the point in my health journey where I know I am RIGHT there.

I can taste it. I can see it. I can feel it. But somehow, I’ve still felt stuck.

The majority of the last decade looked something like this:

• Committing to restrictive food rules, then abandoning them entirely.

• Obsessively habit-stacking, then getting burnt out.

• Buying another convincing supplement, then feeling disappointed by the lack of results.

• Flooding my brain with podcasts, books, and social media, then losing touch with my intuition.

My desperation drove me into survival mode.
My confusion made me overcomplicate everything.
My doubt made me lose hope again and again.
And my fear prevented me from seeing the truth.

Healing is actually quite simple.

It was not until I came to faith that this cycle finally began to break.

I became aware that these patterns were sabotaging my healing.

And even deeper than that, these patterns kept repeating because I believed lies.

God is not a God of confusion, but the enemy is a big fat liar.

“He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” — John 8:44

YEP. All of the noise that hinders my healing? It’s never from God.

It is spiritual warfare.

Naming this as the enemy has helped me separate it from myself.

So when those thoughts start creeping back in, I grab them by the NECK and turn them back toward God.

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5

God has revealed to me what I need to do to heal.

The simplicity of His “protocol” is often the very thing I doubt…

Just like Eve in the garden, the enemy tries to get us to complicate, question, and disconnect ourselves from resting in God’s provision.

Because he knows the truth too:

God IS everything we need. And all we have to do is trust Him.

So how do we protect ourselves from these attacks?

How do we clearly discern God’s guidance for our healing?

We put on the FULL armor of God every day, baby.

I love this passage from Ephesians:

“Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil.

Then after the battle you will still be standing firm.

Stand your ground, putting on:

• The belt of truth

• The body armor of God’s righteousness

• For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared

• Hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil

• Put on salvation as your helmet

• Take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

Ephesians 6:13-17

WHEWWW!!!

I’ve been praying on this one BOLDLY recently.

And I can feel God strengthening me against fears that used to pull me completely off course.

This is exactly why it is so important to get into the Bible daily.

It is our weapon against lies. It protects us with the truth!

I have more peace than I have ever had about what I need to do to heal my body.

God has given me the tools I need.

And more than anything, He Himself is what I need to experience the lasting safety my soul has always desired.

Healing stops feeling like a hamster wheel when you allow God to make your paths straight.

Each day, I am showing up to heal my body with simplicity.

Peace. Joy. Rest. Nature. Stillness. Beans. And God.

That’s my regimen now.

And it’s working.

Because God is working.

And I’m finally getting out of the way.

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” — John 8:32

Xo, Audg

I’ve had a hankering for that delicious slaw they serve on the side of tacos at Mexican restaurants… so I decided to make it at home (and add beans, of course).

I’ve been eating this all week for lunch with some ground turkey and avocado.

You could also serve it in taco shells or scoop it up with chips. Your vessel, your choice.

This slaw salad situation is amazing for anyone struggling with hormonal imbalance.

If you follow me, you know beans are one of my favorite tools for supporting hormone health because the soluble fiber helps bind and eliminate bile — which carries excess hormones like estrogen out of the body.

Carrots are another fabulous friend for our hormones because they help lower inflammatory bacterial byproducts in the gut, which can help reduce estrogen reabsorption.

Meanwhile, cabbage offers incredible support for estrogen metabolism by providing compounds that help the liver process and eliminate hormones effectively.

It’s a WIN-WIN-WIN for happy, healthy hormones.

Supporting our bodies with these incredible foods is an act of worship.

I take pride in the opportunity to nourish myself every single day.

It might not look like much, but this Mexi-slaw truly is a gift from God.

MAKE IT!!!!!

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This chicken salad is proof.

The bean-haters say beans are boring. I say you’re just putting beans in a box.

Legumes have no limits. You just have to get a little creative and add a little love.

This Greek-inspired chicken salad was soooo simple to throw together, packed with flavor, and loaded with soluble fiber.

And the best part?
I ate it all week long and didn’t get bored. HA.

It’s creamy, fresh, herby, crunchy, satisfying, and somehow gets even better after sitting in the fridge overnight. Basically my dream lunch.

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It’s become its own industry.
It carries a ton of weight.

And if you’ve been on a health journey, food has likely been a major focal point for you.

What foods you should avoid.
What foods you need to heal.

One way or another, all of that noise leads us straight into fear.

Food fear either contributes to our health issues…
or develops because of them.

But either way, the result is the same:
the noise is loud and the dilemma is exhausting.

And the truth is—
it’s not supposed to be this way.

Food was never meant to be complicated.
It was meant to be a gift from God.

The Original Deception

The enemy has been running the same playbook since the very beginning.

Back in the garden, he got Eve questioning what she could and could not eat.

But the dilemma was never really about food.
It was about trust.

“God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.” — Genesis 1:31

In the beginning, God’s design was perfect.
Everything we needed to live, thrive, and feel safe was already provided.

The enemy knew he couldn’t take that away.
So instead—he got us to doubt it.

To question God’s goodness.
To disconnect ourselves from Him.

And this is exactly what is still happening today.

Where God’s design offered simplicity and safety,
the enemy creates confusion and fear.

When we believe those fear-based lies, we shift into survival mode.

We stop trusting God.
We start bracing.
We believe we have to save ourselves.

We live in fight-or-flight… and we stay there.

And suddenly, something as basic as food feels like a threat.

It was never meant to be.

How Food Fear Actually Shows Up

Food fear is sneaky.
And it usually shows up in two ways:

Control
Reliance

1. Control

We try to control food when we believe our safety depends on how well we can manage, limit, and perfect our intake.

Because deep down—
we don’t trust food… and we don’t trust our bodies.

It can look like:

• Obsessive “clean” eating

• Fear of certain foods or entire food groups

• Calorie or macro counting

• Feeling like you have to earn food through exercise

• Strict meal timing or rigid rules

• Perfectionism around your protocol

On the surface, this can look disciplined.
Healthy. Even admirable.

But underneath?
It’s driven by fear.

The belief that if you don’t stay in control, something will go wrong.

And this is where food quietly becomes more powerful than it actually is.
The noise gets louder.
And your body starts to feel fragile instead of resilient.

2. Reliance

On the flip side—
we can also give food too much power by relying on it.

When food becomes your source of comfort, safety, or fulfillment,
it starts filling a role it was never meant to hold.

It can look like:

• Constant thoughts about food

• Always planning your next meal

• Using food to cope, soothe, or numb

• Looking to food as your main source of comfort or reward

• Overeating or binging

• Cycles of restriction and resentment

Here, instead of controlling food…
you start to feel controlled by it.

The Root Issue

In both cases—
food becomes an idol.

We start to treat it like a god.
Fearing it. Worshiping it. Centering our lives around it.

And that’s exactly the trap.

Because if the enemy can get your attention fixated on food—
he can pull it away from God.

If he can disconnect you from God,
he can keep you stuck in fear.

And if you’re stuck in fear,
you’re not living in the freedom, healing, and purpose you were created for.

He can’t destroy God’s design.
So he tries to block your access to it.

And somehow… he’s doing it through your plate.
How lame?????

Breaking Free from Food Fear

So when food fear arises, here’s how you come back to truth:

1. Ground Yourself in Scripture

God gave us His Word to anchor us in truth when fear gets loud.

Memorizing scripture gives you something to return to in those moments.

A few to hold onto:

• “God saw all that He had made, and it was very good.” — Genesis 1:31

• “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life.” — Matthew 6:25–26

• “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.” John 6:35

• ​​“Everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving.” — 1 Timothy 4:4

When fear speaks—
truth needs to speak louder.

2. Invite God Into Your Meals

There’s a reason humans have prayed over food for generations.

Gratitude shifts the way our bodies digest.

When we stop fearing food, it opens our biology to receiving its healing goodness.

Because your body is responding to alignment with God’s design.

Here’s an example of what that can look like:

“God, thank you for the meal you have placed before me. Thank you for the ability to purchase, prepare, and receive these gifts. Thank you for the amino acids in this chicken to heal and seal my gut lining. Thank you for the antioxidants and minerals in these veggies to lower inflammation and support detoxification. Thank you for the fiber in these beans to balance my blood sugar and support my nervous system. Thank you for creating exactly what I need to thrive. I trust You and I trust Your design. Amen.”

3. Find What Actually Fills You

Sometimes we eat when we’re not actually craving food— we’re craving a feeling.

Peace.
Connection.
Relief.
Joy.
Safety.

And food was never meant to carry the weight of meeting those needs.

So instead of asking,
“What should I eat right now?”

Start asking,
“What do I actually need right now?”

Maybe it’s:

• Going for a walk and getting sunlight on your skin

• Calling a friend and catching up on life

• Stepping outside and putting your feet in the grass

• Playing music and moving your body

• Journaling what’s been sitting on your heart

• Taking a few deep breaths and slowing your body down

• Getting out of the house to run a fun errand

• Doing something creative with your hands

• Letting yourself rest without needing to “earn” it

• Spending time with God—praying, reading, or just being with Him

These are the things that actually nourish you.

Food can support your body.
But it was never meant to carry your emotions, your stress, or your sense of fulfillment.

When you start meeting your needs in real ways,
your relationship with food naturally softens.

Back to what it was always meant to be:

A gift—not a lifeline.

4. Choose Consistency Over Perfection

Perfection is what keeps you stuck in fear.
Because it’s unattainable.

Striving for it is setting yourself up for fight or flight as you chase something that doesn’t exist.

So instead make your goal realistic and sustainable: consistency.

This looks like:

• Nourishing your body regularly

• Not skipping meals out of fear or control

• Not forcing food out of fear or control

• Choosing supportive foods most of the time

• Letting go of rigid rules

• Allowing space for joy and flexibility

• Measuring progress in small, daily shifts

Consistency builds safety.
Safety builds trust.
And trust is what allows healing to happen.

Faith in Food

I spent a long time trying to figure out healing.

And at the bottom of the barrel every time is God.

This is about so much more than food.

It’s about learning to trust again.

Faith that God never left you.
Faith that your body is not broken.
Faith that food is not your enemy—or your savior.
Faith that you were never meant to live in fear.

And faith that healing isn’t just possible—

It’s the design.

Love you lots,
Audrey

It’s the perfect creamy snack to pair with crunchy carrots, cucumbers, peppers or your fav crackers. Enjoy it outside, sun on your skin, toes in the grass and you’ve got yourself the perfect spring situation.

(I forgot to take a pic, so enjoy this picture of a tree from my camera roll lol.)

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It’s a warm, savory, Asian-inspired mix served over a bed of crunchy lettuce, which is exactly what I crave this time of year. Light, flavorful, nourishing, and still satisfying enough to actually hold you over.

If you’re looking for a beany, protein-packed meal that comes together in under 30 minutes, this one’s for you.

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It tastes fancy, but the prep is super simple. And if you’re spice-averse like me, don’t let the jalapeño scare you. Just make sure to cut away the seeds—it adds amazing flavor, but the bite is wimp-proof.

You can serve this on its own as a salad or inside taco shell…

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It’s been swirling in my mind, standing out in scripture, mentioned to me by my best friend, preached to me at church, on my Instagram feed, and all over my life.

I can’t shake it.

Because that’s what is happening right now. I am being humbled.

I guess you could call me a “born again Christian” lol.

I am new to faith.

I’ve dabbled before, but I never fully got it. I’ll share that whole story soon, but for all intents and purposes, this feels like ground zero.

Over the past year and a half, I have given Christianity a full shot.

I slowly started laying down my pride, my ego, my assumptions, my doubts—just enough to ask:

What if I’ve been wrong about all of this?

And let me tell you… it’s changed everything.

It changed my perception of God (which I now see was so off).
It changed how I see myself.
The world.
Relationships.
Food.
Money.
Health.
Purpose.

Everything.

It feels like a fog is lifting that I didn’t even know I was living in.

I’m realizing how much of my life was shaped by culture… and how subtly I was being influenced by confusion, distraction, and deception.

And when you strip it down, all of that doubt comes back to the same question from the garden:

Is God really who He says He is?
Is His design actually good?
Is His provision actually enough?
Is His plan actually trustworthy?
Is God actually love?

The underlying message is “We are not safe.”

Which leads us to try to save ourselves.

We build lives around self-sufficiency.
Self-protection.
Self-improvement.
Self-made.

That’s the world’s way.

But it’s the opposite of God’s.

God’s design was never about self-preservation.

It was about self-giving love.

Love flowing from Him → into us → back to Him.
An unbroken connection.

Everything in creation came from that overflow.

Because God didn’t need us—He wanted us.

He wanted us to experience His love fully.

To know the truth:

That He is love.

But love requires freedom.

And with freedom came the choice to walk away.

Our pride and doubt made us question whether we actually needed God. So we squandered His gift.

When we broke away from God’s design, we broke our connection with His love.

We led ourselves into destruction and death.

This is what sin is.

Not just “doing bad things.”

The bad things happen because we are disconnected from God.

And still… He came for us anyway.

God didn’t leave us there.

He sent Jesus—the visible, tangible, perfect expression of His love.

Jesus stepped into the full human experience.

He suffered with us.
He walked with us.
He showed us exactly how life was designed to be lived.

And then, He brought it full circle by giving up His life in place of ours.

So that sin would not have the final word.
So that the separation would not be permanent.
So that the original design could be restored.

That’s the kind of love we’re talking about.

Perfect, sacrificial, unconditional love.

This all finally CLICKED for me this year.

I feel like I have 25 new light bulbs every day.

But I didn’t get here through some sort of spiritual revelation or a theological deep dive.

I didn’t get here on my own.

I got there by finally opening my Bible—and letting God tell me exactly who He is.

I was such a skeptic.

I’m a heady person who likes logic, data, and proof. And after everything I went through with my health, I became pretty jaded and anti-establishment.

I didn’t want to confine myself to another man-made box of rules.

That’s what I thought Christianity was. Because honestly, I just didn’t get it.

I had let culture inform my opinions, and that led to a lot of false assumptions.

You know what happens when we assume….

Everything started to shift when I read the Gospels.

Instead of getting caught up in the history and theology, I decided to learn about who Jesus is.

Reading about His life and teachings for the first time on my own started to stir things inside me.

I started to understand.
I started to crave more.

I started to feel this overwhelming sensation that this was TRUTH.

I didn’t just want information anymore. I wanted a real relationship with God.

That inspired me to go deeper.

To start praying more, going to church regularly, joining (and co-starting!) a Bible study, asking questions of my seasoned-Christian friends, and seeking support on this journey.

The people in my life have been serious vessels for wisdom, growth and love.

It’s already been an insane journey, and it’s really just begun.

But every single day, I feel it.

I am being humbled (in the best way.)

I am unlearning so much.

And accepting that I will never have it all figured out.

But that feels freeing.

Because I’m not trying to earn anything anymore, I know I have all I need through Christ.

My hunger to keep learning is fueled by wholeness and hope now.

And I literally can’t stop.

I see it so clearly.

God’s way is perfect.

So much better than the world’s.

So much better than mine.

I’ve been wrong about a lot of things, but praise the Lord for it.

Because there is freedom in humility.

There is hope for humanity.

And God is so, so good.

I’ll never pretend to have all the answers but I will share exactly where I’m at.

The God I’ve come to know is love.

That’s the truth.

And I just want to know Him more.

All my love,
Audrey