Sofa, Mirror, Desk, Coffee table, Rug, Chairs, Mask, Bar cabinet, Vanity, Sculpture

Runner, Dresser, Lamp, Statue, Chairs, Art, Silk painting, Art, Light fixture, Coffee table, Couch

Happy hunting!

A Tove dress that can be dressed up or down in a gorgeous neutral brown

A cheeky Jacquemus dress for a night out

This Patou skirt is, to me, a perfect skirt. You’ve got a gorgeous baby blue and the most funky 50s silhouette

The texture of these Khaite x Oliver Peoples sunglasses is to die for

The Attico heels…..feathers, need I say more?

If you’re also loving polka dots this season, I present to you this Jacquemus dress

I hate to alarm you but it IS almost fall. Time to stock up on your Nour Hammour coats!

How precious is this Magda Butrym crop

Butter yellow plays surprisingly well through autumn and winter against your deeper tones, this Proenza Schouler bag is a true four season bag

The La Semaine shorts are under $40…hello?

Another perfect autumnal find, this Rohe poncho screams fall in Jackson Hole

…but for those of you who still have Euro Summer coming up (me), a transitional Johanna Ortiz dress

If only she were in my size, this New Arrivals dress is like candy to me

The ideal fall wedding dress, this Victoria Beckham dress

I tried on the blouse version of this Loulou de Saison dress and have been kicking myself for passing ever since

I love the unique color of this Jacquemus bag

First - my clients are ruthlessly efficient, and expect the same of the people they work with. Construction, renovation, and design can traditionally be anything but - there are long timelines that can be pushed back without explanation, causing downstream effects for the entire project. As a graduate of the GSD* University (*get shit done) this has always been priority #1 for me: efficient timelines, and open, regular communication. Tech clients are used to making progress quickly, and have very little patience for progress that feels unnecessarily slow.

Second - my clients are super busy. This means that it falls on me to make their lives easier, not harder. Communication needs to happen in a timely manner, but grouped efficiently so I don’t need to bother a busy founder when they hardly have enough time to hydrate in a day. I find that where my clients elsewhere appreciate a one-off email here and there, my Bay Area-based clients want no more than weekly emails, grouped and organized by importance with clear action items and next steps. Luckily for this type A girl, this is right up my alley.

Third - it doesn’t matter how few hours exist in the day for my clients, most of them are intensely detail-oriented. They are used to building complex products taking into account edge case scenarios for a living, so nothing gets past them. My firms ethos is rooted in meticulousness and precision, and usually this creates a strong point bonding point. They are used to strong ownership, and appreciate a designer who owns the process end-to-end. I run the process, but nothing moves without your sign-off.

Fourth and finally, because of the way money flows in Silicon Valley, most of my clients are building almost entirely from scratch. When I worked with traditional executives in places like New England, I’d find that integrating existing treasures and pieces was a huge line item on the JD. In more traditional industries, salaries grow slowly over time: you’re likely to find someone who has gone through a starter home or two before landing on their forever space, at which point they’ve already collected a number of items they want to incorporate. I love this part of the process too and find it uniquely special, but in the Bay Area, my clients are much more likely to graduate from a one-bedroom with minimal belongings to a multi-million dollar home they now need to fill from scratch. This can actually make the process more difficult: creating a space that feels layered, unique, and timeless when you’re starting from scratch means being extremely deliberate in our selections, and I help my clients make their blank canvases feel like home.

So - understanding these common threads - what I recommend for those who have just purchased a new house and are trying to figure out how to make it home. These are some of the topics I like to discuss early with clients to help understand the “why” before getting into the “how”. Creating a beautiful space is equal parts taste, project management, and understanding my clients needs and wants intimately. It’s one of the things I love most about the work I do: the familiarity I build by understanding my clients loves, hates, and lifestyle.

Without further ado, since you’ve just exited, or otherwise landed the multi-million dollar home:

1. Assemble a portfolio: start looking for things you love, online, in real life, even in literature. The best homes are not inspired by the RH showroom, but by hotel lobbies, passages in the owners favorite book, a painting they saw on their last visit to London, the colors in a family friend’s garden, the pattern from a memory. A home that feels unique (and not for the sake of uniqueness! Which I whole heartedly do not believe in) is rooted in what you have loved across time, in your actual life. Put together a folder, a Pinterest board, a favorites folder in your photos, whatever works for you. Take some time with this step.

2. Determine the through lines that exist in your taste: no matter how seemingly disparate, there are always connective points amongst things you gravitate to. Ask yourself: are there common themes? Patterns? Lack of pattern? What materials or colors am I seeing often? What textures, or lack thereof? Do I like spaces that are monochromatic? That are colorful? Neutral? What kinds of neutrals? Warm, cool? Feel free to ask Claude / ChatGPT / Gemini to work through this with you if you’re a bit stuck - they aren’t designers, but they can help you understand your design language a little better.

3. Assess how you want to live: obvious, right? Maybe not so much! A spare room for a social butterfly who loves to entertain can be transformed into a game room, while the same room can be converted to a home theater for an introverted movie lover. How you live - whether you work at home, entertain, watch TV, have guests visit often, etc - impacts the space around you. So though it may feel obvious that a living room requires certain items (a coffee table, two chairs, a couch), this is one of my primary questions when working with clients. I’ve turned living rooms into game rooms, dining rooms into bedrooms, bedrooms into lounges. Ask yourself how you want to spend your time, and who you want to spend it with. Build from there.

4. Start with vintage: the general wisdom is that each room should contain around ¼ vintage or antique, and I think this is a great rule of thumb. Vintage items and antiques are what add soul and personality to a home. Whereas it’s virtually impossible to create a truly authentic space with 100% new items (even if you search far and wide), antiques are a great “shortcut” (though there are no true shortcuts in design…) to imbuing a space with soul. Some of my favorite sites for vintage and antiques are (from largest to most boutique) 1st Dibs, Chairish, Vinterior, Retrouvius, Monument, Oblist, Good Behavior Vintage, Delphie Studio.

5. Wait! It’s tempting to try and buy everything at once so you can finally feel at home, but resist the urge! Homes are supposed to be curated over time. Start with the essentials: a good, comfortable couch, a well-made bed frame, and expand from there. Especially if you’re going it alone, buying too many items at the outset is a really great way to regret the majority of your purchases while you’re still figuring out how you want to use the space.

6. Come find us at Harding Home when you're ready to make it feel like home - not just a place you sleep between board meetings. There are some real benefits to hiring someone who speaks the same language that you do: I already know how you operate before you tell me - weekly emails, clear next steps, no surprises.

Do you like pretty spaces? So do we!

When I was a teenager, my friends and I would take long, winding drives through the hills. We were newly 16, and every turn exposed a brand-new niche of flowers and mountains and dirt roads. Humans have a proclivity to romanticize the past, and maybe I’m doing that now, but what I do know is that a fast turn around a snaking road shook free every worry I ever had, dissipating through the open windows into the cool night air. We’d drive for hours, awestruck by the beauty and vastness and greatness of the world around us. It felt so big, and so full of things we didn’t know. By the time we woke up in the morning, we couldn’t have told you where we were, or how to get there. And nothing is more special than something that feels like it takes a good guess or a secret portal to enter.

The older we get, the less magical the world feels. Just last month I took myself for a drive in the hills when I was home visiting my parents. I tried to conjure the magic and aliveness of feeling like I was 16 and both my world and my worries were small. But, of course, I knew where I was the whole time - I’m not 16, I know my hometown by car much better than I did then. The world has also changed - it has become less romantic, in perfect syncopation with my own growing up, technology has grown up and demystified the world and our experience within it. When I drive in the hills I see old ranch homes replaced with $20 million dollar mansions (I’m from Silicon Valley so, no, I’m not exaggerating). I still feel dwarfed by the immensity, but in a way that is much more pragmatic and hence, crushing, than it is inspiring. Crushed by the weight of knowing that it is unlikely I’ll be able to afford the town I grew up in. Crushed with the knowledge that I don’t even know if I want to live in a place like that anymore. If you don’t belong to your home, where do you belong?

I am thirsty in a way I can’t describe for my home, in a way that so many of us are for the homes we left when we grew up in search of something bigger. The homes that don’t exist anymore, at least not in the same way. My hometown is unique, a perfect microcosm of capitalism - Silicon Valley belongs to the world now, not just those of us who grew up there. It doesn’t belong to me anymore, much like nowhere belongs to any of us. It doesn’t matter if you grew up in Palo Alto or Sydney or Dallas, the Palo Alto or Sydney or Dallas you go home to now is a different place entirely.

I went to college in Boston, which was about the most romantic place I could imagine when I was 17 (domestically, of course). I remember walking slack jawed with a friend from high school who showed me around Harvard’s campus when I was touring, in disbelief that a place could hold so much beauty and mystery and history. I remember how I felt sneaking through secret passages at the Lampoon, and tucking into a cocktail at a bar with low-slung ceilings and well-worn seats. By the time I graduated, Boston was, to me, just another city. That’s just what happens when you get to know something, the sparkle fades away.

Somewhere between sixteen and now, I learned that historic buildings carry stories of people just like me and the mansions were just money and the roads always ended somewhere, I just hadn’t driven that far yet. Everything got explainable. But knowing how a thing works doesn’t kill the wanting, it just leaves the wanting homeless. And homeless wanting is the most valuable real estate capitalism has ever found.

Capitalism has always sold us things. What’s different now is the sheer volume of things being sold to us as more than things - as identities, as memberships, as a version of ourselves we don’t yet have. Nearly everything is a lifestyle brand now. You don’t buy a candle, you buy a woman who has her life together enough to burn one at 6pm on a Tuesday. You don’t buy a water bottle, you buy someone who drinks enough water. Every object comes pre-loaded with a person for you to become.

I think the proliferation is the tell. If it were really just about the object, one great scarf would be enough. But it’s never enough, because the object was never the point - the object is a stand-in for the thing we actually want, which is harder to name and impossible to buy.

When we look at beautiful things (beautiful things that we can buy), we’re promised the sparkle of everything we’ve lost. We’re promised all of the bottled magic and homemade potions of our youth, the promise of something bigger than us. But the next morning, in the cold light of day, the sparkle fades and we’re left hungover in our guilt. Because the scarf is just a scarf. And we didn’t want to buy the scarf at all. We wanted to be the scarf.

That’s what I loved about Renoir before I had language for it. He never painted the scarf. He painted what it felt like to be enveloped by one: the blur of it catching light, the sense of a body caught mid-motion, a woman existing inside a moment rather than owning it. His paintings pointed past the frame at something bigger, a world just beyond what he’d painted that you could feel but not quite enter. The lifestyle brand does the opposite. It takes something bigger - connection, ease, the feeling of being sixteen with the windows down - and crams it into a frame small enough to put a price tag on. Both are gesturing at the same ache. One is honest about the fact that you can’t actually have it.

That’s the scarf’s whole con. It sells you the object and lets you believe you’re buying the impression. But the impression was never for sale. It was never really about the scarf, or the car, or the hills, or the house I can’t afford in the town I don’t belong to anymore. It was about being nine, or sixteen, or otherwise unguarded enough to let the world in without asking first what it would cost me.

But knowing the con doesn't inoculate you against it, and adulthood doesn’t make us immune, it just makes us more informed participants in our own undoing. So I buy the scarf anyway. Not because I think it will make me sixteen again, but because some flicker of me still wants to believe it might. I know exactly what I'm doing, I do it anyway. Nothing is inherently romantic anymore - not the mountains, not the buildings, not the roads, not the scarf itself. But that’s exactly why I get to choose. If the world won’t hand me romance the way it did when I was nine, I’ll assign it myself, on purpose, with my eyes open. Nothing is romantic, therefore everything is romantic.

To me, the perfect summer wardrobe is about:

1. Cute skirts and dresses: stay away from dramatic blouses that add to much weight on top

2. Silly bags and accessories: when you’re not ready to commit to something you can wear year-round, beaded purses, shell necklaces, and colorful accessories add an unexpected element without breaking the bank

3. Colorful and unique shoes: fun shoes in a bold hue or material can turn a monochromatic outfit from basic to Olsen-level chic

I could wear a white tee shirt every single day during the summer and still feel innovative and stylish with the right pieces. Here are some I have my eye on this season:

Skirts & Dresses

I love the detail on this Bondid skirt, which is equal parts Renaissance chic and Gen Z modern

I can’t stop staring at this perfect Esant sheer skirt. All you need are a pair of leather flip flops, a white tank top, and a beaded necklace to have the outfit of the summer(tm)

I may be biased because I just received her, but this Ulla Johnson satin skirt is both playful enough for summer but neutral enough to be worn year-round.

For those who are Odysseus-maxing this summer I present to you: the Venroy Greek dress

Ramy Brook floral dress to me is perfect for anyone who 1. looks good in red 2. is going to Hawaii anytime soon 3. Has $150 to spend

Funky Bags & Accessories

A bucket bag resembles everything good about summer: accessibility, and the potential fora little bit of disorganization. She is: the Bembien bucket bag

Le Sundial bag that made me gasp….the perfect summer evening bag

My age-old rule with an Hermes scarf is if you like it, buy it. You never know when another colorway and pattern will compel you in the same way. I KNOW I just bought another one, but this Hermes 90 is calling my name: playful and ladylike

Stonefruit big bolo necklace because I love some westernwear

Loulu charm necklaces at the best possible price for a summer staple!

Shoes!

Proenza Schouler floral heels that have a handmade look and feel to them. The floral feels summer while the color can be worn year-round

Louboutin ballerina flats in the sweetest ballerina pink!

What am I wearing this summer?

So glad you asked!

Nothing Written tee shirt, Reformation skirt, Zimmermann heels (similar), TENDRESSE bag

Cos tee shirt (IYKYK), Hermes scarf, Le Bon Marche skirt, Loulou de Saison bag

Cos tee shirt, Ulla Johnson skirt (similar), vintage Lanvin earrings, the perfect summer Parisa Wang bag, Prada shoes

Cara Cara dress, Prada heels, Mansur Gavriel bag (similar)

Cos tee shirt, Ulla Johnson skirt, Loulou de Saison bag, Gucci heels (flat version)

Veronica Beard dress, Reformation bag, Reformation heels

Simkhai sweater, Ulla Johnson skirt, Hermes bag, Toteme heels

L’Agence jacket, Nothing Written tee shirt, Aeyde flats, Pistola jeans, Maison Ola headband

Oroton skirt (similar), Reformation heels, Hermes bag

Beyond the practical implications, I have a lot of fun clothing! And I basically live out of a suitcase, so I want the opportunity to wear my hand embroidered structured blouses and fringe ponchos and fur coats (have you ever tried packing a fur coat? How about 2-3 for a few weeks in Park City or Aspen? I have! And it was WORTH IT!) more frequently than when I’m at home. I buy things for when I travel, I buy things for certain places I frequent - it is, in fact, important to have a Park City wardrobe and a summer in New York wardrobe because none of those items are being regularly used in San Francisco.

So no - I don’t want to pack light. I don’t want to spend twice as much on something I like half as much somewhere just because I didn’t realize I would need it. You end up with a bunch of random stuff, and you’re none the happier for it. Travel is becoming unbelievably expensive, so I say, check the bag! What’s another $50, and besides, it’s probably not going to get lost (probably, for liability purposes).

This, of course, applies to toiletries as well as clothing, bags, and shoes. I wear 0 makeup 90% of the time, a tinted sunscreen and a dab of blush 8% of the time, and a full beat 2% of the time. But traveling usually requires all three. I have a gala or a wedding or a photoshoot - and I need all of my things, and also none of my things, in equal measure. I’ve tried the travel-friendly options: a small setting powder that got damp from the glow of my tinted sunscreen and rendered unusable and, frankly, gross; a mini contour palette that I don’t like nearly as much as the full size; a combination of different options that require me to swap out my one small toiletry bag for two small toiletry bags, going through change through service every four days until I inevitably forget something extremely important at home and have to borrow a friends mascara (which is actually, sorry, gross).

I used to travel with one dinky case I got on an Emirates flight (because I am cheap and they are cute), sometimes two when the occasion required it. But let this be my proclamation that it’s high time we brought back the big ass toiletry case.

For the classic lady

It’s just GOT to be structured! And maybe you can even double up and use her as a purse?

Every Blair Waldorf girl wanted one of these growing up, now is your chance! Reclaim the folly of youth!

Or reclaim it with this!

If you read this far in this section this one is a treat at a VERY fair price

For the menswear-inspired tomboy

A classic dopp kit is one of the chicest items you can own

Giving briefcase

For the practical of us

Who doesn’t love compartments?

One of those shades of red I could just drink up

For the vacationer

Fish! Fish! Fish! Fish! Fish!

Add an initial, you’re not driving!

Ok fine, she’s not huge but she is cute!

Maybe you’re not on vacation but this will bring the sunshine wherever you go

What are you putting in all of these pouches of yours, you ask?

Well now that we’re not so worried about space we’re loading up with the decadent Dr. Diamond three step routine , a full size Yoe cream that goes on like butter, and enough of your travel sets of Perelel vitamins so that you actually feel good when you’re away from home. And don’t forget the worlds best natural deodorant (never thought I would say those words!!!) Bring along your EGF serum you’d otherwise leave home, the face polish that prevents you from looking like a cookie, a FULL SIZE PERFUME that smells like heaven, and you can even skin cycle with an every-other-day resurfacing compound. Your skin tint for a beach day AND full coverage for the wedding, the best blush in two shades.

Life is actually really good when you decide not to make it harder for yourself for no damn reason. Live a little, and pack the generously sized toiletry case.

What so many of us need is a break that draws us out of the well-trodden pockets of ourselves: just enough to rip away the black and white veneer on life. Not a manual for becoming more that asks us to do more, but a gentle nudge to dream a little wider, to expand instead of perform.

Parisian women seem to imbue their wardrobes with this energy: their ability to create ever-fresh beauty and style out of what is often a relatively simple wardrobe speaks to this desire and ability to create but not consume, to indulge in creativity but not necessarily capitalism. To indulge in the part of themselves that wants to build, to play, and not the part of themselves that just wants to throw a credit card at it, to escape their lives for a moment. Expansive, instead of consumptive.

Listen, again - I am not going to tell you what fashion in Paris “means,” - I don’t know who, if anyone, is right for the job (read: nobody is lol), but it’s certainly not me. But I do want to speak about what Parisian fashion means to me. Parisian fashion is all about classics with a twist: a breton stripe with a raw hemline, a button down with an embroidered, ruffled collar. I find that Parisian women all buy what look, at first glance, like total classics. And that, in fact, wear like classics: modular and timeless. But that speak at a whisper about who they are and what matters to them. Which always feels fresh and new while feeling heritage and chic. Which is why a well dressed Parisian always feels classic but never boring.

I also do not believe the way people hold French women on a pedestal is good or fair or even true. I love Parisian fashion, I love basically all things French, but it is simply one way of doing things. When, however, one way of doing things happens to be better on the whole for the environment and for our own consumption trends - it is of note, so they have my flowers.

But most of all, Parisian fashion actually may say more about their priorities and history, culturally, than anything else. Old money means things are fixed and patched rather than replaced, right? And a more leisurely working culture doesn't just mean more free time - it means more time spent steeped in art, in conversation, in the kind of cultural fluency that has nothing to do with productivity. And this sophistication shows up in how they dress: effortlessly chic. There is a feeling amongst the French elite - at least those I know - that spending a large sum of money on clothing is gauche, a sign of poor judgment, of someone trying too hard to say something that should not need to be said.

Here’s where I’ll admit something: the story I nearly just told myself - the one you probably told yourself too - old money, fixed class, no mobility - isn’t true. Some research on intergenerational mobility actually finds France and the U.S. fairly comparable, and on certain measures, children from low-income French families are more likely to reach the top than their American counterparts.

What is true is that inherited wealth has become a much larger share of total wealth in France than it used to be - by some estimates, inherited wealth roughly doubled as a share of total wealth between the 1970s and 2010s. So it is halfway true - old money is more present, more entrenched, more determinative of who has what. Mobility isn’t impossible, but the floor under old money is more visible, more historied, more woven into culture and self-conception.

So perhaps the difference isn’t mobility itself, but the psychology around it. In America, where the myth of mobility is so central to our self-image, status becomes something to perform, because class is supposed to be earned and is therefore never fully settled - if you’re a reader of my column I assume you know about Veblen and conspicuous consumption. If your class is never quite proven, you dress the part you’re claiming. In France, where old wealth and old families are simply a known, named fact of social life, there may be less psychological pressure to prove anything through clothes. This is not because the system is fairer, but because the hierarchy is more openly acknowledged rather than constantly re-litigated through purchases. That acceptance - whether imbued by the way they speak, the way they dress, or the way there are just some things that invite a shrug - feels uniquely Parisian.

In the spirit of this, I arrived in Paris with a short but mighty list of items I was relatively certain I could find the best version of. Which, by the way, is a fabulous way to build a shopping list.

Ok, so what did you buy in Paris?

This vest that I absolutely adore over a cream tee shirt and shorts or with an opera coat over top - it is SO versatile and can be dressed up or down!

I have been on the hunt for the perfect Jane Birkin woven bag and good lord did I find it in this piece. Perfect size, shape, and the lining inside makes it extremely practical.

The most urgent need I had in my wardrobe was a cream medium sized bag with some personality and I couldn’t be happier with this - I haven’t taken her off since. Plus - she’s on sale for 50% off right now (kicking myself but happy for you I guess)

This skirt was a sleeper hit - the fabric is absolutely beautiful and it works perfectly with a tee shirt or dressed up with a button down. Its silky, feminine, and very chic.

Did you even go to France if you didn’t leave with an Hermes scarf (plus a ring) for your collection? As I told my friend Sarah when we bought these matching: when you see an Hermes scarf you like, you have to just buy it. You never know when you’ll see the perfect colorway again!

I’ve had my eye on this Balzac blouse and was a kid in a candy shop in their store in Saint Germain. Classic with a twist.

The perfect cashmere bandana in both chocolate and burgundy - you’d be surprised how many opportunities I have to get a little cowboy with it

Another big item from the list: funky belt. This tassel belt exceeded my wildest dreams.

A structured yet casual blouse I’ve already worn as both a top and a jacket! What can’t she do!

My rule with sneakers is that there needs to be an element - usually textural - that elevates them from normal sneakers. These silky numbers are perfect for my greenfits(tm)

I met the illustrious Candice Fauchon, iconic Paris fashion girl and relatively newly minted designer of this robe and shorts. She was a dream, and the tailoring on these pieces is on point.

I’m a Blair girl at heart, which means I’ve never met a headband I didn’t love. This one is just neutral enough to read as volume, and just natural enough to read as unfussy.

If Veblen could see this list he'd have a field day. Thanks for reading, and I don't want any of you Parisians getting mad at me!!! Thanks and bye!

Shopping for antiques and vintage became a lot easier with the internet, but exacerbated the challenge of sorting through the good from the bad and the ugly. Websites like 1st Dibs make that process a bit easier - acting as a kind of global edit. Rather than scouring estate sales in cities you'll never visit or hoping a local dealer happens to carry what you need, you can access inventory from dealers and collectors in Paris, London, New York, and beyond from a single tab. The vetting is built in: sellers on the platform are vetted, which means the baseline quality is already higher than what you'd encounter trolling a random auction site. There's still discernment required, but the noise is significantly reduced. It's become one of my most reliable sourcing tools, allowing for the process to feel less like a treasure hunt, more like thoughtful selection.

I’ve purchased many antique items throughout the years, and have found there are a few keys to the hunt:

On patience and restraint

The best antique hunters know when to walk away. Buying something almost-right because it's available is how you end up with a home full of things that don't quite mean anything. Waiting for the right piece is always worth it (sincerely, someone who bought a lot of crap before she learned about the concept of restraint).

On buying what you actually love

Your home edit necessarily needs to be personal. For every space that has the same tones, the same statement couch, and the same light fixture, there are just as many that will be rushing to redecorate in just a few short years. Build a point of view and design from there: what speaks to you? What do you have an emotional response to? Listen to that signal - the pieces in your home will never feel dated if you truly love them, if they were purchased from a place of authenticity.

On letting antiques lead

Rather than finding an antique to fill a need in a room, let a great piece become the starting point. Some of the best interiors are built around one found object that set the tone for everything else. When I start working with clients, I lay down design principles: rules of being for the space (restraint, warmth, the refusal to over-decorate, anchored by proportion, light, and how the space lives day to day), and often anchor the home around a statement piece: a piece of art that contains the colors and spirit of the home, a gorgeous tapestry with the right patina.

Luckily, 1st Dibs (one of the best in the game) has a sale through May 31st, and I figured I would share some of my favorite finds across the board:

Hand-Knotted Wool Rug with the most stunning color palette

Chinese Lacquer Screen Room Divider because I love a Chinese screen - the all-time best way to separate a room non permanently

1970s Italian Modern Style Sculptural Armchair with the most sumptuous velvet

Landscape Original Oil Painting to brighten up any wall

Glass Murano Sconces perfect for a powder room

Metal Ceiling Lamp ideal for small spaces

Smoking Cabinet Table Stand to be repurposed to a nightstand

Acrylic on Paper - I’m a sucker for human form

Olo Eclipse Nightstand to help ground your bedtime routine

OG Georges Braque if you can believe it - one of the best in the game

French Cast Brass Coat of Arms Wall Mirror

Set of 3 French Ceramic plates - I’d love to hang these up on a small wall in the kitchen

Murano wall light for something both Hollywood and Italian glam

Vintage Turkish rug because a good sage colored vintage rug is extremely hard to find

Happy hunting xoxo

There was a moment in time, however brief, where we cared deeply: many of us did everything in our power to buy the venture-funded toothpaste that was good for the earth and splurge on cage-free eggs. But as the sentiment has seeped into our souls and the cost of just surviving has skyrocketed to the point that just maintaining a normal living standard is all we can manage, an apathy has hardened and crystallized across our culture. We used to not know that the man who made the movies was a bad man. We partook in a Holmesian raid of all those who wronged others, via their tweets and the people who were brave enough to speak up, to try and squash the impact on those bad men. And now, in 2026, we just shrug and turn on Netflix.

They say as you get older your world becomes smaller and yet more expansive within that small-ness. I reflected recently on what it meant to be a true member of my community: yes, perhaps its being a good neighbor and helping your neighbor pick out tile for their new bathroom, and it’s knowing the employees at your local grocer by name (and trading baking recipes), and having a group of people to laugh with. But, community can also mean engaging in a smaller, more authentic, more nuanced economy with one another. A community filled with artists means your home is always filled with beautiful original art. A community of business owners means your parties are always catered by a friend, and that you always have somewhere to jump in the ocean. It means you always have something unique to sip on at home, and someone to brand your new company, and somewhere to buy cosmetics that don’t harm the earth or its inhabitants. It means someone to build your cabinetry who you also golf with, to have someone paint your home that always wants a current photo of your cat, to pick up flowers that your friend arranged. It means muses and role models that help you grow your business without having to buy a course written by a stranger to make money. You’ll wear shoes and hats and skirts and jewelry designed by people you know, and know who runs the stores you source from for clients, and at the end of a long week, have a drink poured by someone you know, or a glass of wine made by friend. Knowing someone is its own kind of due diligence.

When you support local and build a community of people who build local, you can always be sure that you’re supporting things that are a pure good. My ask of you is simple: support a friend who runs a business this week. Support doesn’t mean asking for a discount or special treatment or free goods, it means full-fledged support - showing up for the people you pre-vetted with friendship.

For a little bit of eye candy…

…I present to you, TRR sale under (and around, for some) $1000. Buy these before I buy them all

Reformation top

Toteme coat

Chanel purse

Celine skirt

Marni bag

Hermes dress

Bottega bag

Celine sunglasses

Simkhai dress

Guest in Residence polo

Louis Vuitton purse

Brunello Cucinelli dress

Gucci tote

Doen dress

Saint Laurent bag - I just got a suede, slouchy version of this and I’m convinced it’s the new it bag!

Dior bag

xoxo until next time

I’ve spent the last 10 days working 15 hour days and when I got on the plane to come home, I realized what I wanted to do the most, more than reading and watching television and taking a nap, is to feel connected to myself through writing here. Self care culture tells us it’s okay to indulge and consume and retreat into ourselves, nay, that we can’t recharge without it. But I dare ask: do we ever actually get what we want when we do? Perhaps our best defense in moments of overwhelm are more ingrained than we may think: writing to you, clarifying my own beliefs, creating beautiful things - these may not sound like the most efficient methods of relaxation, but, I would argue, they are the most important methods we can choose. The way to energize myself when I can’t fathom squeezing one last drop out of myself isn’t the obvious thing, but the hard one.

What makes me happy, and what feels sorely lacking in a world of lubricated ease, is friction. Choosing an action by doing it means inherently choosing not to do something else. There was a world not so long ago where these were very real tradeoffs we had to make: do you build one life, or another?

We’ve become so used to being able to do it all with ease: we have every recipe at our fingertips and AI that will help us get all of the ingredients without going to the store, have an armory of spa-grade lotions and elixirs in our home bathrooms. Now, more than ever, we have to choose a life of friction, instead of fighting for one without it. But friction is what makes life worth living, what makes a decision hold weight. When we don’t audit our actions because taking action is so easy, we never ask ourselves “did that make me happy? Do I know what makes me happy?” We end up with a skincare routine that takes too long and a closet full of clothes for a life we haven't chosen instead of the harder thing: choosing a relationship with someone who challenges you, or tapping into your creativity by failing and failing again. This is what is at risk for us - to lose our humanity through losing choice. We must choose the things we want deliberately, feeling the weight of the choice, and the weight of not having made another.

I heard a piece of advice recently that I want to pass along to you, dear reader: downgrade one thing every day. Wear the plain outfit, choose the simple meal. Remember that life isn’t about chasing dopamine or optimizing every tiny detail for a perfectly curated life. Remember that the world is muddy and we sweat and bleed and feel because we, as much as we find ourselves losing our traction and falling into the vortex are not, in fact, artificial but real - and real humans need creativity as a counterweight to overwhelm, not more to consume. We don’t necessarily even need to do, but it is vital that we try. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. When we live in a world free of friction, we live in both a loveless and hateless world. We live in a world no longer for us.

A note on skincare

I receive a steady stream of packages from skincare brands, and I’ve been working with my esthetician to give each one a proper trial before reviewing. Cohort 1 is ready to share now that I’ve had a solid routine in place for the past month.

The current routine includes ExoGlow serum, Oak Firming Peptide Serum, Ursa Major moisturizer, Oak Ritual Oil, U Beauty Resurfacing Compound, U Beauty Sculpt Neck Concentrate (yes, you get 20% off with ELLIEH20), and Good Weather Skin glow sunscreen. I couldn’t be happier with the results: even tone, texture that stays constant throughout the entire day, and far fewer days with anything tinted on my face.

I’ve been using the Banana buffing bar as I’ve been shuttling between warm and cool weather, dry and humid climates, and planes, trains, and automobiles. It is absolutely worth the hype and I find myself reaching for moisturizer less. I recently got turned on to Olaplex and have been religiously using their shampoo, conditioner, and oil (I was late to the Olaplex party but will be staying a while).

Future Society may have made one of my favorite new perfumes (if you know me, you know a scent recommendation means a lot), which I have on rotation with ffern (I’m still on the winter release and like it better than the summer) and the perfume I made myself in Seoul.

Dana Rebecca sent me the diamond ring I had been dreaming of for my ring finger stack. The perfect hint of sparkle without the heavy metal (my wedding band, as you can see, does enough of that heavy lifting by itself). This extra sparkle just sealed the deal for me.

Speaking of jewelry, I added some sparkle to my stack courtesy of Bauble Bar (the perfect tennis necklace during two bathroom renovations pricing wise).

I’ve been testing out the Vivrelle membership this month and love the variety of bags for my insane travel schedule. Its very easy for me to default to buying a new bag when I feel the itch, and Vivrelle allows me to test things out before committing (since I am often quick to commit but end up with a designer bag graveyard). You can use ELLIEHARDING for your first month free if you want to join me ;)

What I’m wearing in April

Frame shorts, Favorite Daughter cropped trench, Margaux flats, Row bag

Nothing Written tee shirt, Favorite Daughter coat (similar), Mango jeans, Mango heels, Shannon Bond necklace, as belt

Malbon knit blouse, Doen skirt, Manolo Blahnik heels

Favorite Daughter jumpsuit, Mango heels, Shannon Bond necklace, as belt

Reiss blouse, Frame shorts, Reformation heels

What I want to try & buy next

Is this not just the sweetest little spring dress you’ve ever seen?

It’s not just because Jeju is on the top of my bucket list

I may be high-tailing it over to the East Bay for this when I’m back home

Ok fine, this is just because the bottle is cute (you know I’ll always tell you if I like something for silly reasons)

A perfect straw bag for my very large collection of perfect straw bags

And best for last - my lovely friend Bonnie showed me this stunning atelier with the most sumptuous French (yet leaning more craftsman-inspired / adjacent to me with some of their use of parchment glass) light fixtures. And yes, I have already used these in a project.

Until next time xoxo

The calculus you have to do as a fashion girl / traveler / interior designer is brutal. Investments in my living space are legitimate investments: the renovations of our bathrooms will genuinely add value to our home long-term, and the ability to document any work I do to my own space brings in additional clientele. On top of this, I’m traveling around 75% of 2026, which is both exciting and expensive, but I can’t show up anywhere without some great outfits, right?

So here we are: in desperate need of some new dresses for the 8 weddings we’re attending this year, fun jewelry to dress up some tropical vacations, and some elevated everyday items.

What exactly is on my list?

Best Dressed Wedding Guest

This Marmar Halim dress lives in every dream I have

Coming in at an incredible price, Lela Rose brings us this season’s THE Tory Burch wedding guest dress

I love an unexpected but still understated color combination. Ulla Johnson strikes the perfect balance in a simple silhouette and pops of pattern play

De La Vali making me think that purple may just have to be my color

I have SO many ideas for this Staud skirt for a more casual welcome party - you can dress it up and down (see: with a band tee shirt for a Saturday afternoon)

Bold and Playful Jewelry

Lizzie Fortunato has my heart, and this necklace is both bold AND organic?! HOW!

Once a horse girl, always a horse girl. Chan Luu knows this in their souls

I’ve been dreaming of a Prounis pendant - this dune jasper is just breathtaking

At Present has stolen my heart - while everyone’s focus has been on adding tassels to doorknobs (IYKYK, fellow designers) why not add one to your BODY

A perfect, every day staple a la At Present

You guys know I am an outspoken proponent of charm bracelets, this At Present one is somehow VERY inexpensive but also the cutest I have seen!

Are you sensing a theme here? At Present

A Ravn pendant and silk scarf is a dog whistle for cool girls

At Present at it again! What can’t they do!

Neutral, Textural, Formal Casual Wear

A De La Vali blouse perfect for a summer evening on the town (ok, fine, I already bought this)

YES I need the St. Agni leather fawn skirt AND I need the jacket too

Alias Mae leopard pony heels, because we are not playing around with animal print this year

Massimo Dutti will sometimes nearly out-Row The Row

Without a strict discipline (and a lot of magical thinking) I have often been guilty of letting self care slide almost any time life gets busy, which is often. But this post is in defense of self care (the right kind of self care, which is to say the self care that does not include eschewing responsibilities to friends, family, and neighbors, that does not serve as a shortcut for selfishness).

This time of the year we appreciate the little things - luxurious little things that distract us from the short days and cold weather (though I know living in San Francisco, I’m not really allowed to complain about that). This winter in particular feels like a true lock in: everyone I know (myself included) is extremely busy with work and associated responsibilities. Taking care of ones self becomes even more important in times like these: a routine with little indulgences is how we pinch ourselves to remind ourselves we are human, not machine. The difference between a normal month and a busy month should be just that: there’s more to do, not that you drop your commitments to yourself in exchange for longer hours.

I’ve found personally that no matter how tired I am or how badly I think I need an extra hour of sleep, my morning routine and solo time will always make me feel better than rushing around to get on a 7AM call. Getting out of bed early is not my favorite, but the calm that allows me to get my ducks in a row and start the day on the right foot is worth it every single time.

The best things in life, of course, are free: waking up early and watching the sunrise, a hike through the redwoods, taking a long, hot shower (not 100% free but you get the picture) - but these are a pretty close second.

Speaking of morning routines, I start with a multivitamin and hot coffee (but in the winter? That’s going to be a maple latte), warm socks before my body acclimates to the day, and a cozy sweater (work appropriate, of course).

A new workout set, I’ve really been into the white piping on black, like with my new favorite top and leggings from Monday Body. Very chic and very 90s! I pair it with a little headband and tiny Aureum sunglasses or FREYRS shades. I haven’t felt feminine in workout clothing in years, and this combination really does the trick for me.

Freda Salvador loafers that make me feel much more dressed up when I’m doing silk pants with a tee shirt (or: chic girl lazy). The more I can stray from sneakers during the winter the more together I feel.

If you know me you know I am VERY picky with makeup. I hardly wear anything and when I do, especially when it’s daily makeup (and ESPECIALLY in the depths of winter), it needs to be practically invisible on my skin. Lately I’ve been feeling a bit gloopy with my tinted SPFs (a wee bit too glowy, know what I mean?) and have been opting for No Makeup Makeup foundation and brush - which are LITERALLY invisible - it looks like a real life filter. Paired with SOSHE lip liner (I wear candid) and the black lipbalm by Finding Ferdinand (IYKYK) I reach the apex of everyday elevated. This combination feels like just the right amount of doing when its cold and dark (honestly - I’ll be hard pressed to ever wear more than this).

Before

After!!!

Winter is all about staying hydrated and I am officially a baby who can’t drink water without delicious electrolytes (these are my favorites - plant based and not too sweet or salty!). It’s okay to play tricks on yourself if they work.

I’m on a skin firming mission and love treating myself to the quad of the Ziip Halo (NECESSITIES for 10% off!), U Beauty sculpt concentrate on my neck (ELLIEH20 for 20% off), firming peptide serum, and extreme cream morning and night. If your face feels tight your life….feels tight. This routine is what allows me to wear very little makeup and its shockingly very low effort. A very easy way to emerge from your cocoon in the spring.

Sorry but….laundry that smells amazing is a must, no matter the time of year. I’m a sucker for my pod + booster.

Many of us are not be drinking this time of year, but I LOVE a sexy little mocktail or soda with added benefits (ELLIE10 gives you 10% off Cann!)

An everything shower hits differently in the winter. I level up with a pine-y cleansing balm, minty scalp scrub, a botanical elixir, and delicate face oil. Finish your morning or nighttime routine with the most hydrating plasma lip compound, and a turmeric face mask that my friend put me on to.

You’ve already heard that this is everyones new favorite hand soap so pardon the repetition but, it’s mine too (and ELLIE15 gets you 15% off because it turns out we love each other). You better believe when I’m out of the bathroom for the evening I’m lighting my favorite candle and using a cloche because I love being a girl!!

I have been LOVING the aggressive femininity of wearing a charm bracelet and clanking it around all over the place (ideally, iced coffee in hand). If you’ve been following me for a while you know I’ve been a strong advocate for the charm bracelet, and have been eschewing my panthere nearly daily for my new Monica Vinader number. It is simply too cute!

Eating well (and eating at all) always tends to vex me with a challenging work schedule that keeps me back to back from morning until evening, so I’ve been trying to optimize my meals with a mix of protein bars (these are my current favorites), smoothies (these make it easier to get enough protein) and finding the right meal delivery service (I’m in my first week of Locale and frankly, I want to scream from the rooftops about it - high protein, SO delicious). I found many options available were either the same thing every day (lettuce and chickpeas….cool…) or badly executed. Locale is delicious, well priced, and the variety is stellar.

That’s what I’m loving this month to get me through the winter doldrums, talk soon xoxo

• 30 net new items for the entire year (around 20% of my consumption for 2024)

• Sub 3% error rate (which allows me a single regret item for 2025 - but hopefully I’ll have none)

• Rent or borrow for weddings and events

• Avoid making a buying decision in the moment: if it’s meant to be, it will be there the next day or week

As the year developed, I found myself generally much more thoughtful about purchases on the whole. I also found myself looking for loopholes: does a vintage / pre owned item count? It does if your primary goal is a decrease in spend, it doesn’t if your primary goal is to improve your ecological footprint. Do accessories count? Do shoes and bags fall into a different category? What about gifts? I became much more ingrained in the content creation community in 2025, which means I was often sent items gratis from brands. Do these items count? They probably count if you’re focused on your ecological footprint, but probably not if your goal is to decrease your spend.

For a goal I set myself, I really wanted to get out of it, didn’t I? The first lesson I learned from this process is that I needed to have a better “why” governing my actions. If you had asked me a year ago, I would have told you that I wanted “to have a more timeless wardrobe” and perhaps reduce my ecological footprint. But were these goals specific enough? Unlikely! A reminder that goals should be SMART: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-based.

My goals for 2025 were MART, but perhaps not S enough.

With that, let’s take another look at 2024, and a new look at how I fared in 2025.

In 2024…

• I purchased 134 new items of clothing (not including activewear)

• I regret 8 items I purchased this year

• I will not tell you the total cost of the items I purchased this year

• The total cost of the items that I regret is $900

• My error rate is 5%

In 2025…

• I purchased 49 net new items of clothing

• 33 of these items were new, while the other 16 were vintage or consignment

• 27 were clothing, and 22 were accessories (shoes, bags, belts)

• I attempted to rent clothing for a few weddings and events, and the items never showed up or showed up late. This was outside of my control, and will no longer be a goal moving forward (until the landscape changes)

• I regret nothing

• My error rate is 0%

So, sure - maybe my “new” item count, in the strictest sense of the word, fell right over that expected 30 count at 33, but does that match the intention of the goal when set? I don’t really think so. That being said, do I think the difference between new and vintage is important (and something I want to track moving forward)? Yes!

A 0% error rate is pretty compelling but how relevant is that data point? Is the goal to enjoy and wear the items you bought in January just a year later, or is that the wrong metric? Perhaps the real metric should be how many items I get rid of every year. If I’ve had those items over 5 years, they have served their time and do not count, but perhaps they do count if they’ve been purchased in the last 5 years?

All of this analysis begs the question: how long can we actually expect to keep, wear, and love our clothing? And how is the overall decrease in quality across the board (for many brands) impacting the lifetime value of the items we purchase? How does this hold up during life changes: perhaps your maternity clothing has a shorter life than your designer bags - but how tied should I be to the decisions I made for my wardrobe years ago?

My best answer - it depends. I granted myself some leniency for a few years in my late 20s: my style and ability to afford items with increased longevity shifted relatively dramatically from 22 or 23 to five years later at 27 or 28. But now that I’m the ripe old age of 31, I’m not so sure I deserve that grace any longer when 27 year old Ellie was perfectly capable of buying timeless items. This year, I’ll track not only my current error rate, but any items I get rid of that have been purchased since I was 27 (5 years ago).

I strongly believe that pre loved or vintage items should be a freebie for 2026: they have zero ecological impact, do not require the “is it trendy or do I really like it” internal monologue, and dovetails nicely since we’ve determined that decreasing spend is not my primary goal.

The newest and most puzzling quagmire I now find myself in as a content creator is how I measure gifted brand items. These items:

• Certainly count toward my ecological footprint

• Do not contribute towards a larger spend-based goal

• Can make me feel a bit icky if I overindulge

So what do I do with that discomfort?

The “icky” feeling is data. Maybe my discomfort isn’t really about whether these “count” toward goals, but about maintaining agency and intention in my wardrobe. If I accept 20 gifted items that align with my wardrobe vs. 5 that don’t, those are very different scenarios even if both are “free.”

I should consider a quality threshold instead of a count. What if gifted items only enter my wardrobe if they meet the same bar as something I would spend my own money on? This preserves the intentionality without punishing myself for opportunities that come with content creation. The question becomes: “Would I have bought this if it weren’t free?” rather than “Does this count?”

The ecological footprint question cuts both ways. Yes, accepting gifted items contributes to consumption. But if I’m creating content that helps my audience make better purchasing decisions, there’s arguably a net positive impact. That doesn’t mean accepting everything, but it might mean the calculus is more nuanced than pure minimalism.

What about a “gifted items I kept” metric? Perhaps I track what I accept vs. what stays in my wardrobe after 6-12 months. That would capture both my selectivity and the true impact on your consumption patterns.

So what are my new and improved goals for 2026?

• 30 new items (meaning: brand new from the brand, purchased myself)

• 20 gifted items I kept (after 6 months - this will need to be a waterfall metric as items continue to trickle in)

• 5 donated items from 2021-2026 (as proxy for error rate)

• Unlimited vintage or pre-loved items (let’s start here: this might undermine my ecological footprint goal more than I think. Yes, these items already exist, but consumption is still consumption - especially if it’s feeding a dopamine loop. But maybe that’s a 2027 problem!)

This feels like the right starting point for 2026: more specific than last years goals, since I was able to really zero in on what my intentions were by setting them.

Hope you’re all setting goals around consumption for 2026 yourself - whether that be clothing, technology use / media consumption, or whatever is important to you!

The holiday season and immediately after (yes, this has been in the barrel since early December….please bear with me) is the perfect time to indulge in this exact winter fantasy - dramatic shapes and sumptuous textures - before the spirit leaves us cold and lazy. If spring/summer is all about letting the little things do the talking: dainty jewelry, tanned skin, crocheted tops and mini skirts, then winter is about letting your clothing take center stage. What does this mean? Yes, it means gorgeous coats with chunky belted waistlines, sky-high patent boots and costume jewelry, dripping in diamonds. But it also means playing with how you express your own shape. I always lament that in summer, the best accessory for a cute swimsuit is, regrettably, a hot bod. In the depths of winter, we clad ourselves in pieces that speak for our tired bodies, allowing us to keep our literal and proverbial hands in our pockets. Winter is the best time to play with bold details, dramatic shapes, and glamour - we just need to make sure it aligns with how we actually dress when the temperatures start to drop.

So in that spirit, let’s talk about some different ways to incorporate elegance and glamour in a wearable way this season - for whatever wearable means to you.

High Necklines

My entire life, people have called me tall (I am around 5’9) but the truth is, I hold almost all of my length in my neck and décolletage. In theory, this is fine, but it makes for quite a bit of space to cover in the winter. A high neckline feels very organic on me: whether in the form of a pussy bow blouse, a mock neck, or shirting buttoned to the top. High necklines look fabulous with everything from tailored pants, to wide leg jeans, to full skirts, to short shorts and tights. A good high neck on a blouse, dress, or sweater is a fantastic way to add a level of polish to an otherwise drab outfit.

Nina Blanc striped bow tie blouse - and she is on sale!

Neutral Patterns

Many of us can’t handle both a pattern and a color (which, fair!) and for this cohort, it can be easy for winter outfits to elicit a yawn. A great coat in a neutral pattern (animal print is having a moment - but then again, it never really goes out of style!) allows seamless pairing with your trusty jeans and neutral sweaters while adding a pop - without splurging on a bright red or blue coat you’ll get sick of immediately.

Rohe cheetah print coat that I am drooling over

Funky Textures

Another way to add opulence to your winter wardrobe is through texture. With lower light in the winter months, I tend to gravitate towards textures that are light reflecting: jacquards, silks, and patent leathers. It is easy to feel one-note when all of your neutrals are also in light-absorbing fabrics like cotton and wool. A sweater with cashmere or silk in its constitution, a shiny shoe, or a glittery pant is sure to elevate even your most pared-back looks.

Dries van Noten burgundy jacquard coat

Laganini ivory jacket for a bit of shape, a bit of texture, and a high neck! The trinity!

Margaux pointed burgundy flats - these are my daily drivers this season

Paris Texas stiletto boots

Bold Colors

…but on traditional shapes, for those unafraid of a winter bright. Winter renders most of us terrified of anything that looks ghastly against pale winter skin, but the fact is that most of us have a much wider color tolerance, even in the depths of winter, than we think. Regardless of skin tone and season, I’ll always wear a bright red. Though in the spring and summer I pair the color with a ruffled blouse or a tiered skirt, in the winter, tone down the color with a simple, more traditional shape.

Wynn Hamlyn double cardigan in red

Bold shapes

…but with a pared-back color palette, for those who never venture outside of neutral territory. If you’re lucky enough to live somewhere you don’t need to don four layers every time you leave the house, you can experiment more with unusual silhouettes: cinched waists, flowing capes, or sculptural collars that make a statement through form rather than color.

Rue Sophie scarf coat

Emelia Wickstead embossed croc jacket

Chan Luu knit cape

Cano brooch - never underestimate a brooch to nip, sweep, and pull your fabrics every which way for a fun new shape

Rich Fabrics

Because sometimes you really just want to be coddled! Everyone needs a good collection of winter sweaters, but I personally find that I look shlubby in anything too languid and loose. Sumptuous fabrics in structured fits make me still feel like myself even when all I want is to lounge around or lie about all day. Whatever feels right to you: whether it be sweeping cardigans or cascading turtlenecks, make sure it feels really good.

Goop chunky cardigan

Photography: Jing Zeng

As I reflect on 2025 and some of the moments that brought me the most joy, so many of them center around a hosting opportunity I grasped by the reins. This post is brought to you in collaboration with Sullivan clothing, a brand built by women I cherish and have supported since the very beginnings of what has quickly become a cult favorite brand. Because I was lucky enough to collaborate with the team on our second joint trunk show in my new home, what better opportunity to illustrate some of my best hosting lessons and recommendations through the lens of this creative endeavor?

Photography: Jing Zeng

Lead with Purpose

The best parties are much like successful voyages: they have a destination they are determined for. A party with no goal can devolve into a frat party quickly: with no games, no art, no shared purpose, a party is just a vehicle for drinking too much. Even when the intention is clear: perhaps you’re hosting a Holiday party or a Fourth of July party: what is the theme, the purpose? Is it kitschy Americana Independence Day? Caviar and champagne Christmas? Are you making art together, discussing ideas? How are you facilitating?

Slim zip jacket & mini skirt, both in moss. Photography: Jing Zeng

As a longtime friend of Sullivan, the question I ask myself whenever I cohost their events is: how do we make this event relevant for the specific audience we invite, and for the energy we hope to conjure? Our April trunk show allowed us to lean into our light, feminine Easter springtime energy, while our event this fall was warm and cozy, with candlelit silver, soft jazz, and cardamom-infused cocktails.

State jacket in midnight, uniform skirt. Photography: Jing Zeng

Curate the Guest List

A good party does not necessarily mean including every one of your most cherished friends, and sometimes requires inviting people that you otherwise wouldn’t, simply because they are such a good fit for the environment. Consider:

• A dinner party to introduce people who may enjoy each others company, or veterans of a specific industry

• A trunk show that appeals to female friends in the fashion world, but may not be as interesting for men

Photography: Jing Zeng

In “The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters” by Priya Parker, Parker argues that meaningful gatherings require what she calls “generous exclusion” - being thoughtful and intentional about who you invite (and don’t invite) based on the gathering’s specific purpose. The idea is that by being clear about your purpose and selective about attendees, you create the conditions for deeper connection and more meaningful experiences. Trying to include everyone often dilutes the purpose and weakens the gathering.

Prepare Accordingly

A good party illustrates its purpose through design: the right tools, the right music, the right decor, and the right food. It is as much about utility as it is about flair: should you ask your guests to touch sumptuous fabrics, and try on delicate pieces, small bites that are largely self-contained are key, served with and on silver glimmering in the late afternoon sun.

Photography: Jing Zeng

Much like a meal can lose its appeal with no salt or the wrong seasonings, a party or gathering is made significantly more complete with the proper playlist. I’m partial to The Nutcracker during the winter, jazz during shoulder seasons, and French disco during the summer, but you can get much more specific than that (and in whatever direction you so choose).

Photography: Jing Zeng

It doesn’t take much to add the finishing touches that make an event feel intentional: fresh flowers and fruit, your best silver, and thoughtful lighting.

A well-placed mirror echoes the goal of the gathering: try something on! Play with color and shape! Photography: Jing Zeng

A Good Party is Always Effortless

Photography: Jing Zeng

…or at least seems to be. Effortlessness is not valuable for its own sake, but for the flow of a good party. You will be BUSY when you host, and shouldn’t spend your time trolleying freshly warmed blinis to your caviar spread when chips will do just fine. A little recipe card with the cocktail ingredients allows people to pour for themselves. A flow that allows for mingling, resting, and, in the case of a Sullivan party, trying on beautiful pieces means you won’t have to squeeze by people or risk a traffic jam (and, God forbid, a traffic jam-related red wine spill).

Ritual sweater in black, jacquard billow pant in slate blue. Photography: Jing Zeng

A surprise in every corner. Photography: Jing Zeng

A good flow also means saying goodbye to the “meet and greet.” Instead of spending 2 minutes with everyone who comes in (leaving you drained, without a libation and in need for the facilities), allow yourself to have real conversations. Yes, sometimes this will mean that you don’t get to everyone, but (in my humble opinion) that is totally okay. Abundance mindset! You’re throwing another party next month - you’ll get some quality time with them then. Fewer but more meaningful interactions lends itself to an environment of ease.

Remember to nurture what is already there - like my cat, Beaujolais! He is a guest too, even if he doesn’t fit into Sullivan’s standard sizing. Photography: Jing Zeng

The Sullivan Girl

So what can the Sullivan girl teach us about being a good host? She brings people together and facilitates conversation effortlessly. She runs her own version of a modern French salon: combining the worlds of art, community, fashion, and intellect in one room. She is lighthearted, she is modern, but she never forgets her heritage.

Princess top in black. Photography: Jing Zeng

She always makes her intentions clear, so when you show up, you know exactly what to expect: from what attire to don to what your evening will entail.

She hand-selects a curated guest list, so be prepared to meet a variety of interesting people from all walks of life (not just the usual suspects).

Her space will always feel uniquely suited to the event: custom matchbooks, spirited decorations, unique floral arrangements, with a perfect flow.

And because, above all, a Sullivan girl is booked and busy, and wants to spend her time with her guests, her party will, above all, feel effortless.

Sullivan Girl Approved Hosting Finds

White ceramic vases are always tasteful, always

If you’re serving, then SERVE

A tablescape to turn heads (I simply had to get these placemats & napkins for myself)

Today’s newsletter is brought to you by Sullivan

In honor of all the hosting we’re all doing this time of year, my recommendations for setting a gorgeous table that will WOW friends and family alike! Step right up!

Setting the Scene

A good table scape starts with a good dining space, so it’s important to be intentional about the space you set. Is it a dedicated dining room that limits distraction? Is it between other rooms that people will need to squeeze through each other to access? Is it attached to the kitchen, and will the kitchen lights be on? What is the seating like? Is it comfortable, or are there ways to make it more comfortable? What is the primary light source? What time of day is it?

Don’t fight these elements - work with them. If your space is tight and lighting is overhead and bright, invite people later on, fill the table with candles, and eschew the overhead lighting entirely. Add some notecards to introduce friends so they’re less likely to get up and mill about.

Widen the aperture when designing a tablescape: how does this exist in the broader space?

You can add cohesion to a set of otherwise mismatched chairs with matching cushions, or ensure dinner is ready and on a low heat in the oven so you don’t have to futz with the big kitchen light or otherwise draw attention away from the table if your dinner takes place right next to the kitchen.

Setting the spotlight on the table to draw the eye away from anything non-essential to the gathering

Symmetry

A good table setting isn’t necessarily symmetrical, per se, but is intention with its symmetry or lack thereof. A deliberately asymmetrical table looks great, as does a deliberately symmetrical setting.

Three matching lamps, color-matched china, and matching chairs. SUMPTUOUS!

And yet…how beautiful is the wild? The untamed?

Balance

Light with shadows, organic with man made, metal and flower, soft and severe. A good table setting balances these elements. Sometimes all you need is a sculptural flower in a soft color to achieve this (level 1). Uplevel your table scape by adding a few similar candles in varying sizes, almost invisible vases, and a full floral in one varietal.

I have been loving a Rembrant-eque table scene. Equal parts sophisticated and devastating.

Colored candlesticks for height, fabric-clad lamps for weight, and deep crimson flowers for volume.

I tend to lean maximal but that doesn’t mean you can’t achieve a striking balance with a pared-down palette and volume.

Don’t forget function

A sculptural or antique pepper grinder, maybe some fun personalized coasters. Your table setting should be 65% function, 35% fashion. Sure, flowers and candles don’t necessarily serve a necessary purpose, but salt shakers, fun glassware, and serving bowls certainly do!

Matching silver from somewhere like Match ensures you have all of your bases covered (olive bowl, candlesticks, water pitcher) while still keeping it cohesive

Layering

When purchasing your dinnerware, I always recommend buying things in a coordinating color palette from different designers. You can layer something ornate and patterned with something timeless and personalized with something funky and handmade. If the colors work together, it will all look cohesive.

All it takes is a thoughtfully selected color palette to take a tablescape from overwhelming to warm and inviting

Or, stick with a theme (antique florals, in this case)

What if you went maximal with seasonal fruit, that way you can re-use your tablecloth and napkins throughout the year and create wildly different feels?

I can spot a Southern tablescape when I see one. When in doubt on mixing and matching patterns, turn towards our friends down south. I promise, they won’t disappoint.

Final Touches

Details like napkin rings and unusual cutlery make a big difference. I’m partial to sleek and timeless or vintage and handmade or funky and unique.

The moment I find these napkins they are mine.

A vintage or vintage-like feel for napkin rings will always remind me of my great-grandparents silver napkin rings we’ve used at my parents house since I was young.

First, the Net a Porter sale

A perfect timeless Khaite belt

A drapey, elegant Proenza Schouler dress

This Cordova ski jacket is probably the cutest I’ve ever seen (and it’s kind of giving Andor?)

This Cap d’Antibes terry dress for those of you ready for a tropical winter escape already

A perfect British Burberry wrap skirt

This Rodarte gown stopped me in my tracks

An Erdem dress that is both vintage and contemporary at once

I LOVE Toteme jeans, and this silhouette is perfect

Autry suede sneakers for those who want a fresh new shape

Can you believe these Cordova calf hair pants?!

A perfect Andres Otalora fringe skirt

Maison Mayle halter neck dress

Rodarte white gown left my mouth agape

Agua can do no wrong, and this Agua Bendita beaded dress gets me excited for my Buenos Aires trip this winter

Proenza Schouler suede bag in the perfect shape

A very Carolina Herrera Bernadette dress

Pacharee cord necklace - someone grab this before I do

Faithfull linen dress

Manolo Blahnik applique mules I am drooling over

Rohe striped button down

Rohe scarf coat sold out in my size, someone please fulfill my dreams

Manolo Blahnik denim mules - yes, DENIM!!

Loulou de Saison wool and cashmere coat for those of you onboard my winter white train

The perfect Ralph Lauren cropped jacket - part old-school biker, part Parisian chic

Mother wide leg jeans

Burberry quilted jacket in a gorgeous burgundy

Now, some items I have been loving lately

I am genuinely dying for this Arakii coat

Tory Burch floral heels - maybe even with the Arakii coat? Thoughts?!

Winter is all about GLAMOUR, and you can’t spell glamour without diamonds. This Dorsey necklace won’t break the bank

Anything from Adina Reyter, but especially this big bead

Some great gifts I missed last time

A quick dry manicure set from Celisse

The Goto slippers for your friend who lives at fancy hotels

The best ever, natural and gentle Natura Bisse retinol

This Jaymes Paper stationary stopped me in my tracks at the Marche holiday market

Sexy little vintage Champagne flutes

A Fieldbar cooler for your glampiest friend

That’s all for now xoxo

This isn’t to say I don’t respect (or participate in!) creative gift giving, which I consider myself exceptionally good at. Creative gift giving is FUN, it’s personal, it has the potential to make someone feel very loved. It means that pragmatism, in today’s world, is a guiding principle of gift giving: what good is a gift if the receiver doesn’t enjoy or use it?

I understand the urge to be creative and thoughtful, but the thought only counts so far when come the end of the holiday season, you have a drawer full of items that you don’t need, don’t particularly want, and can’t return. And yet, this is how so many people feel at the end of the holiday season: spent (financially, physically from all of the travel, mentally), and perhaps with not so many new wonderful things, but many new things that now need a home. My recommendation is not to ask your friends and family for a list (or, to send a list their way) - unless of course you want to. My recommendation is to become a better gift giver so that your friends and family actually, truly love and use the gifts you give them.

In the spirit of becoming a better gift giver, this gift guide will be a directive on HOW exactly you can improve your gift-giving skills, along with a small, obligatory, traditional gift list with some of my favorite items this season.

Many people believe that great gift giving is a gift (lol) that some people are simply born with. I would argue that it is a distinct, acquirable set of skills that anyone who cares enough can master. Giving great gifts comes down to four core principles:

1. Listening

2. Timing

3. Aiming for want

4. Thinking outside the box

Listening

Believe it or not, people tend to talk about things they love and the things they want with some regularity. Whether you’re shopping downtown and a friend points out a particularly enchanting scent, your sister admiring a specific element of a strangers outfit, discussing an upcoming trip and all that is required to make it go smoothly, or reorganizing a friends living room together, there is always an opportunity to latch on to something they have their eye on. Whether its a color that they have been loving lately, a fishing trip that requires a gear refresh, or an event they want to attend, there are endless possibilities to take that extra moment to make a note on your phone. You’d be surprised how wonderful it can make someone feel, to feel heard. Years back, a dear friend bought me the perfect large straw tote bag - she knew I collected straw bags (I certainly talk about it enough) but hadn’t seen any in my rotation that was large enough for a local beach day. My sister in law heard how much I had been loving silk scarves lately and purchased me a beautiful, brightly colored one from a local designer.

Timing

Don’t procrastinate, seriously. Especially around the holidays we seem to get inundated with the same gift guides that recommend a tiny fancy little mirror (? I love small beautiful things but seriously? Who needs this?), the same pair of Uggs everyone gets (why has this been a thing for 20+ years……), etc, you get the picture. The more time you give yourself to let an idea breathe, the better. The second I press “publish” on this articles I have so many better ideas I could have explored, that’s just the magic of sleeping on it. This means you could, in theory, as I have done many times over, have your holiday shopping done months in advance. I found a new swimwear brand on my birthday, when my husband so kindly sent me to the Four Seasons Boston for a massage and I noticed some fabulous pieces for him. Two months later, he had two suits by the new brand. This tip goes hand in hand with listening: the more time you give yourself to listen to friends and to participate in your own life while thinking proactively about gifts, the more likely you are to pick up something special, somewhere special, that you otherwise would have walked right by. As a bonus, it’s a wonderful way to bring the thought of your loved ones along with you for little adventures.

Aim for want

A great gift is often something someone wants, or didn’t really know they wanted, but does not, necessarily, need. The danger with purchasing a loved one something they need is that a. they may have already purchased one for themselves b. they may have their eye on a specific version / brand / type c. it can feel like more of a utility than a gift. As you know (see: above), I have no problem with pragmatism, in fact, I celebrate it, but there is a line to be toed. There are some general categories that, especially if done tastefully (and expensively) can fall into this set: a beautiful cashmere shawl, a small item for the home like this candy dish, a travel brush in a sugar sweet color, or one of these adorable and practical phone chargers.

Thinking outside the box

When I say experience, your mind goes to “spa day” or “pilates gift card” or maybe even “year-long flower delivery service” but this category can go much, much further and wider (though these are all fabulous ideas). Think: a CSA membership nearby for your friend in a big city, a large pack of Cann for the friend who gets a bit stressed spending time with their family, a new backpack for someone trekking through Patagonia this winter (not me, or anything…), a gift card to a new restaurant to give your stressed out founder friend a much-needed date night with their partner. Maybe you have a friend who is getting married, wouldn’t they love if you arranged and paid for an appointment at that terribly out of reach bridal salon in town? I love the events that Usal Project puts together, or foraging with Fork in the Path, or a gorgeous dinner for two at Outstanding in the Field, maybe an early morning sauna & cold plunge at Fjord, or maybe you can take a look at Third Place and see what events around town seem like fun. An experience (or consumable) will always be used, appreciated, and at the absolute least, can get someone out of their routine during the cold winter months - don’t we all need that?!

With no further ado, and please, please, take these recommendations with a grain of salt (a wonderful comb is not so wonderful for a bald man), some lovely items to spark your creatively for the holiday season.

A collection of Elif Shafak’s books on Kindle - for your friend going to Turkey this spring, who loves history, or just a great read.

A Kate McLeod moisturizing bar for your friend who spends winter in the high desert.

Marble weights for the friend who actually uses their home gym, but doesn’t like it to look so 24-hour fitness.

As a brooch lover I may be biased, but nothing is more luxurious than a weighty statement brooch to be worn over sweaters and button downs.

A brow hydration kit from FlyBrow - since Suzie is the only person I let touch my brows (and I hear I have pretty good brows), get this for the girl in your life who wants to give her brows a little TLC during the drier winter months.

Pants that can take you from the airport to a holiday dinner.

Flamingo Estate olive oil because anyone who spends any meaningful amount of time in the kitchen knows how a fragrant, fresh oil can transform a dish.

I don’t love the idea of buying other people new daily skincare generally, the one exception being a travel set (this one from Elemis) - perfect to test out new items (with the added bonus of avoiding squeezing their creams into smaller tins for holiday travel).

When in doubt, see what inspires you in person. If you’re local to the Bay, join me at the Marche Market where I’ll be picking up some gifts while supporting local brands!

Hope this prevents any bad ideas xoxo

As a family, we’re making a more concerted effort this year to tether ourselves down to the season and the traditions that come with it, lest we float away into an alternate timeline where the beautiful parts of the season simply move through us. This is how autumn has felt over the last few years - a series of reactive moments of sadness that we’ve let the beauty of fall slip away from us. We often feel as if we blink, and winter is here.

There are a lot of ways to prevent this from happening: hosting an event with festive cocktails and jazz, dressing up to see the Nutcracker, leaf peeping on a crisp hike. Though this season has been busy as always, it has also felt remarkably intentional.

Some places, events, & things that have made this season feel special -

I hosted an intimate trunk show with Sullivan to showcase their new line, a perfectly restrained line between feminine and powerful. I refuse to take this off gorgeous jacket. Hint: stay tuned for more on this.

I’m going to pick out all of my Christmas gifts at Marche on November 15th - with some favorite local brands like Lan Jaenicke and Freda Salvador. I’ll be wearing a giant, cozy coat, my new favorite mini skirt by Sullivan, and my YSSO brooch that goes with everything.

I’m spending a little extra time on beauty - which can often be hard for me to make time for unless I am very intentional! Ziip makes it easy to tone my face muscles in just a few minutes (use code NECESSITIES for 20% off) so I don’t look so exhausted. I’ve been basically just wearing tinted serum recently, so my SWEED eyelash serum has come in handy, but when I am wearing makeup, I’ve been absolutely NUTS for their perfect, chubby, soft, blendable greige eyeshadow liner (I’m not joking, the color is perfect).

Everyone knows how much I love Flamingo Estate (tomato hand soap is on auto ship, obviously), and lately I’ve been loving their exfoliating peppermint soap for a seasonal zip. You’ll also find me burning their candles, permanently.

With the air getting cooler, I’m reliant on my Briogeo repairing hair mask to keep my ends locked, and a combination of the resurfacing facial pads and my all-time favorite moisturizer from Elemis to keep my face from looking like a scratch pad.

I went to the opening party of the San Francisco Thuma store, and was shocked by how broad their selection was. You’d think I would have known that they offered a full line, but I was blown away by their somehow both incredibly comfortable and impossibly chic sectional.

There’s nothing like a store opening where sweatshirts are involved, and Marine Layers new Custom Club on Fillmore had a party not to be beat (with some of my favorite people!) - I couldn’t believe how luxe and soft everything was (their cashmere? unreal), and have yet to remove my sweatshirt (you can pry it off my dead body if you dare).

Usal Project hosted a creative bird watching expedition this past weekend, where we sketched some of the fauna by a small lake in Golden Gate Park. All that gorp core got me excited for our trip to Patagonia this winter (more to come - my shopping baskets are, admittedly, full).

Henry Zankov stopped by McMullen a few weeks back, I felt incredibly lucky both to meet a very talented (and lovely) designer, and to try on some key pieces including a very long, very cozy sweater. If you haven’t popped by, the pieces are already selling out and you SHOULD!

Parties at the Legion of Honor just keep getting better, and this years Halloween party was the best to date. Remember to hit your local museums, they need to support from people like you! Speaking of patronage, I took some friends to line dancing at St. Joseph Art Society - if you haven’t been for a visit, you’re sorely missing out.

A friend of mine hosted a mahjong night this week at Cultivar, we learned to play over wine (yes, wine on a Monday!) and snacks and I went away with The Mahjong Line set on my holiday list.

I mean, come on

Some items I am lusting after, in no particular order

Blanca dress of my dreams (or for a very bold bride)

This Ami Paris blouse is perfect: sculptural, oversized, and just as gorgeous with a belt over a skirt as it is tucked into jeans

A Sloan coat that is just long and just white enough to be terribly inconvenient (and therefore, terribly chic)

I’ve been going nuts for everything Dezso lately, this necklace is no exception

This Maria dela Orden jacket is the perfect transitional piece

Everything made by Carina Shoshtary is stunning

If I haven’t talked about Ariana Boussard Reifel, then I meant to. This collar has me in a chokehold (get it?!)

I mean, come on.

Layered and textural are my key words during the fall, I genuinely think you could wear this kimono anywhere

This means that autumn causes a confluence of problems - between the change of seasons and a warmer than average autumn, I’m forced to delay my summer wardrobe gratification, and bring cozy fall colors and textures into rotation without over layering. I found myself getting ready for a friends pumpkin carving party the other day, staring aimlessly at my closet wondering what shoes, what dress, what sweater to wear for 72 degrees for the first 3 hours, 60 degrees for the second 3. Summer Ellie may be bright and colorful, but autumn Ellie is rich, woven, and dimensional. The two may have met, but they don’t get along terribly well.

I think a lot of us struggle with fall in different ways. For everyone who embraces the season with the joy of a fifth grade student who just bought a fresh set of rainbow colored gel pens, there are just as many of us mourning summer’s exit, bracing for winter’s arrival, feeling that low hum of dread as the world turns brown and bare. I’m somewhere in the middle of the two. Autumn dress can be a great way to spark excitement during this season during a time where we may knee-jerk into sweats and shapeless sweaters.

There are two things I want to capture this fall:

1. A British spirit - traditional, layered, neutral, and outdoorsy (this has and always will be one of my greatest sources of autumnal inspiration) with a bit more sculpture and shape

2. The tones and textures and layering I love in a way that works for the weather, as this transitional season in San Francisco grows warmer by the year

Every season brings new trends, new ideas, new challenges. One of the greatest assets that a good fall wardrobe has is versatility. You probably already own some great wool skirts, boots, denim, and sweaters. Let’s not reinvent the wheel: keep those seasonal classics, and add some fun shapes and patterns for 2025 and beyond.

Barbour rain jacket - much like a UK summer, an SF fall can be rainy. But we’re not talking about torrential downpour, ice cold rain - but 55 degree rain. A long, water repellant coat will overheat, and this jacket is just the right weight

Damson Madder raincoat for something with a unique yet feminine shape

Hunter rainboots, a classic. I tend to opt for the short ones on warmer days

I love a cape and have always loved a cape, and this Ralph Lauren cape is very well priced

Wrangler x Staud (yes, Wrangler) jacket for something a bit more British meets Western. Pair this with a full tartan skirt and your favorite crocodile booties.

The most gorgeous Nili Lotan sweater in a perfect, cozy knit that I bought just the other day for pairing with just about anything

Nothing feels more British to me than a funky bag in an irreverent color with a classic shape, and this Khaite bag is at the absolute top of my list

Autumn is all about tailoring, and this season I’m gravitating towards contrasting patterned blouses, like this Balzac Paris ruffled blouse

This Maria Dela Orden blouse takes it just one step further with a big, FUN bow

Unless you’d prefer it in denim?

I spent part of this weekend in Napa for a friends bridal shower, hosted by an exceptionally chic woman. Her outfit perfectly captured a Bay Area autumn: textured, bold, comfortable, and impossibly chic. I’m going to break down her outfit for you (yes, I was nosy enough to ask for the details after 2 glasses of wine) and why it works so well for our warmer fall season.

Eileen Fisher crushed silk skirt that is at once light reflecting and dressed up yet informal and laid back

Coordinating cropped structured button down that hits at just the right point on your torso

A bold, statement necklace - the bolder and bigger the better! During the summer, we all opt for solid gold, dainty jewelry that we keep on to jump out of the ocean and straight to dinner. Fall and winter provide new opportunities - you no longer need solid gold to put up with the elements, and your thicker fabrics require something more substantial as a weight balance

Prada crocodile platform sandals (sorry, got the last pair on The RealReal!) - these are just genius: usually I gravitate towards lighter colors during the summer, but these sandals are the perfect overlap: textured and autumnal yet light enough for warm fall days