So I fixed that.

Maybe you’ve already read everything and came for the behind-the-scenes gossip. Maybe you just arrived and have no idea who these people are.

Either way, consider this your map.

My Hidden Truths books are interconnected standalone suspense romances. Each couple gets a complete story, while characters and storylines cross between books.

You can start with whichever man makes your heart beat a little faster but…

If you want obsession, hackers and a man who knows far too much about you...

Start with The Code We Break.

The first Hidden Truths novel moves fast and ventures into darker territory.

You get surveillance, hidden identities, forced proximity, conspiracy, a very competent heroine, and a possessive hacker who pays extremely close attention.

If a man who observes everything about the woman he wants does something to you, Maddox might be your favorite red flag.

READ THE CODE WE BREAK

Want to snoop around first?

If you’re a corporate baddie who has made enough decisions today...

Start with The Lies We Live.

This one takes its time.

You get slow burn, corporate corruption, workplace pressure, found family, hurt/comfort, secrets, and a billionaire with a few secrets of his own.

At the centre of it all is a heroine who is very good at her job and increasingly tired of corporate bullshit.

If you spend your day making decisions and the words I’ve got it, you sit down have an unreasonable effect on your nervous system, you may want to meet Kai.

READ THE LIES WE LIVE

Want to look behind the scenes first?

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If you want something shorter and considerably less patient...

There’s Say You Want It.

It’s a spicy short novella for the days when 400 pages feels like a serious emotional commitment and you’d prefer everyone involved to get to the point.

Some days call for conspiracies, corporate corruption and several hundred pages of tension.

Other days call for less plot and more heat. Disclaimer, even in this short story there’s some plot. I can’t help myself.

READ SAY YOU WANT IT

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And then there’s Book 3...

Book 3 of Hidden Truths, The Scars We Hide, is currently taking up an unreasonable amount of space in my brain.

I’m working toward getting it into your hands this autumn, and I’ve already started sharing pieces of the story here because keeping everything to myself has never been one of my stronger qualities.

If you want to follow along while I write it:

I’ll share more as we get closer to release, including excerpts, character details, behind-the-scenes pieces and probably a few messages written while I question my own decisions.

In the meantime, you can pre-order it here.

What you’ll find here

This newsletter is where I share everything that happens around the books.

Sometimes I’ll send you an excerpt or a deleted scene. Sometimes I’ll drag you down a strange research rabbit hole, tell you what’s happening with the next book, or share something about the characters that refuses to leave my head.

And sometimes I’ll talk about the things underneath the romance: desire, loneliness, competence, burnout, intimacy, grief, surrender, and what happens when someone finally pays attention to the woman who usually pays attention to everyone else.

You’ll also find suspense, secrets, emotionally complicated people, fictional men with excellent powers of observation, and occasional spice when inspiration misbehaves.

I work full time, so I protect my fiction hours pretty fiercely. The novels get most of my writing time because those are the stories I ultimately want to put into your hands, even if I have a loooong list of ideas fighting to get my attention.

You’ll usually hear from me about once a month, with the occasional extra email when I genuinely have something worth interrupting your inbox for.

Paid subscribers join my inner circle of readers, where I share early looks, bonus material, occasional spicy extras, new short fiction when available, and sometimes advance copies before a new book heads out into the world.

Mostly, I want this to feel like a place where we can talk about books, desire, intelligent women, dangerous men, secrets, bad decisions, and the particular thrill of meeting someone who pays enough attention to really see you.

So if you’re new here, welcome.

Now I have one important question.

Which man are you meeting first?

Love,

Nicky x

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I am writing it. Logan and Mari are alive and well and making my life difficult in all the ways I enjoy.

That’s why I set up the pre-order release date as far in the future. I need flexibility to move the release date after learning it the hard way with The Lies We Live. The looming deadline gave me too much anxiety and then I discovered that the Zon lets you move the date only once. The creative drain was real!

My writers friends begged me to not make preorders this time, they had still nightmares from February. Of course, I didn’t listen to them! (Sorry Cadence and JM! I swear I love you both!)

So we now have a far in the future pre-order deadline and a real timeline aiming to release The Scars We Hide this upcoming Fall.

In the meantime, you can sign up for an ARC (advanced reading copy) and, if selected, you’ll be among the firsts to read Logan’s story.

Somewhere in the middle of that, I also wrote an entire novella. OOOPS!!!

Apparently I hand myself new projects the way other people hand themselves snacks.

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This story started differently from how I get ideas, though.

I didn’t want a suspense plot to untangle. I didn’t want a mystery board covered in metaphorical red string. I didn’t want every chapter carrying seventeen jobs at once.

I wanted a fantasy. Short, filthy, unapologetically indulgent.

And then Clara and Theo happened.

SAY YOU WANT IT

Six weeks of voice notes. No photos. No video calls.

Clara Bennett writes romance for a living, so imagining high-heat scenarios has never been the problem. Living one is another matter.

For six weeks she and Theo Laurent have been talking through voice notes, sliding from conversations about books and audiobook narration into the kind of confessions that are much easier to make when there’s a phone in between.

They know each other’s voices. They know each other’s fantasies. They have never seen each other.

Until a publishing conference puts them in the same hotel.

And Theo decides their first meeting should start with him watching her from across the bar while she has no idea what he looks like.

Yes. I had fun with this one.

A lot of fun. And I hope you will too!

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Say You Want It is the first novella in a new series I’m calling Her Hidden Fantasies, standalone stories built around the things we imagine, whisper about, or quietly wonder what it would actually feel like.

This one is thin on plot. On purpose.

Some days I want the danger and the slow burn that takes four hundred pages to finally detonate. Other days I want a gorgeous man with an incredible voice to remember exactly what a woman confessed to him at two in the morning, then stand in front of her and ask whether she still wants it. While looking hot as sin.

Room for both. Clear your evening when this one lands.

Though it turns out I’m still incapable of writing characters who feel nothing.

Underneath the fantasy, Clara and Theo handed me things to chew on. What happens when the fantasy feels safer than the real thing? What does it mean to be seen by someone when you’re used to curating the version of yourself everyone else gets? What happens when a woman who runs everything discovers how badly she wants to hand over the controls for one night?

There’s insecurity in this story. Trust. Embarrassment. Desire. The particular vulnerability of admitting out loud that the thing turning you on is something you actually want, not something you enjoy safely from the other side of a page.

There’s also a lot of sex.

We contain multitudes.

Not everything has to be profound to earn a place on your nightstand. Some books make you think. Some books hand you two hours where the world shuts up and you get to disappear into a hotel room with a fictional man whose voice belongs on your favorite after dark app.

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I hope Say You Want It gives you that kind of escape. Something sexy and playful, with characters who feel like people instead of bodies moving through a fantasy.

And before anyone panics, Book 3 is still very much happening. Logan and Mari are fine. Better than fine. I snuck out of the main project to play for a while and came back with a novella.

And guess what? I’m happier for it and nourished my creativity. Yay!

SAY YOU WANT IT Her Hidden Fantasies, Book One is out now on KU and ebook.

If your favorite audio app became a man, Theo Laurent might be a problem. Or not.

Love,

Nicky

P.S.: I’d appreciate if you could add my books to your Want To Read on Goodreads and review them on Goodreads or Amazon. Your words are a gamechanger!!

Logan’s book finally has a title, and I’m ready to share it!

The Scars We Hide

What do you think? Which vibes do you get?

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And here you get to read the BLURB!

Ready??? 1, 2, 3!

The Scars We Hide is a standalone slow-burn billionaire motorsports romance with suspense elements, perfect for readers who crave morally complex heroes, competent heroines, found family, emotional intimacy, and love stories built on trust, choice, and the kind of obsessive protection that never takes away her power.

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You’ll love The Scars We Hide if you like:

• Billionaire Romance

• MotoGP / Motorsports Romance

• Black Cat x Golden Retriever

• He Falls First

• Boss x Employee

• Hurt/Care

• Touch Her and Die

• Morally Grey Hero

• Found Family

• Who Hurt You?

• Female Rage

• Romantic Suspense

• Competence Kink

• Protective Hero

• Slow Burn

• Golden Retriever Turns Dobermann

Content Note: Contains sensitive themes including past intimate exploitation and coercion, family neglect and manipulation, bullying, trauma responses, stalking/harassment, and graphic violence. Difficult past experiences occur outside the central relationship and are not romanticized. The story is a suspense romance with mutual consent, emotional intimacy, female agency, and a healing happily-ever-after. While not a dark romance, The Scars We Hide explores darker emotions, trauma, revenge, and the complicated process of learning that accepting love does not mean surrendering control.

Apply for your ARC copy right here.

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Cover reveal is up on Instagram, and I can’t wait to hear your thoughts!

And the artwork!! I’m partial this time, more than usual, because I drew two pieces!

Honestly, it’s such a difficult choice to decide between editing and drawing. One is absolutely necessary to get this book to the finish line, while the other is allowing me to connect to the characters in a way I hadn’t before.

I want to spend some time and create artwork of Maddox and Vivien, Kaiden and Emma. Oh, I need so many more hours in a day! Secondary characters like Eloise and Clark are getting requests for their own book. Choices, choices…

And if you haven’t read the first two books yet, and you’re here reading my flow of consciousness, this is the perfect moment to start. The Code We Break and The Lies We Live are both on Kindle Unlimited, so you can fall into the whole Hidden Truths world and meet Logan before he makes his debut as MMC.

Let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment!
More soon. 🖤

Love,

Nicky

I can finally say it! Book 3 in the Hidden Truths series is coming soon! *happy dance*

And yes, as some of you guessed, this is Logan’s book. 🖤

This story had a slightly unusual journey.

I actually wrote the first draft straight after The Lies We Live, which technically makes it the second book I wrote in the series. Then I went to write The Code We Break, edited it, polished it, and published it. Five months later, and a lot of sleepless nights, The Lies We Live followed.

And, to no one's surprise, by then I was burned out.

But something else had happened too.

After spending so much time editing The Lies We Live, I knew Logan so much better than I did when I first wrote his story, and I wanted to do things right by him.

Logan has always been one of the warmest characters in the Hidden Truths world, and I wanted his book to show that kindness and strength can coexist with anger, fear, flaws, and, occasionally, some very questionable decisions.

So I went back to the start.

I had to rewrite substantial parts of his story to make sure the Logan on those pages reflected the growth and maturity the Logan from Lies deserved.

Rewriting a book you thought was already written is equal parts exciting and terrifying. The reward is that this version finally feels like Logan.

And his love interest... *swoons*

Oh, she’s unique. And she’s also a woman you could meet tomorrow. Or one of your friends. She’s a bit you too.

One of the things I love most about the Hidden Truths world is that every woman has her own personality, strengths, flaws and way of moving through the world. That includes the secondary characters too, and Logan’s FMC is absolutely no exception.

I love her already, and I’ll be revealing much more about her over the coming days and weeks.

For now, though, I suppose I can give you a few things. Just a few. I’m not giving away all my secrets this early. 😏

So, what can I tell you?

🏍️ We’re entering the MotoGP world.

🖤 Black Cat x Golden Retriever.
And I think you already know which one of them is the golden retriever.

🔥 Slow burn.

👀 Romantic suspense.

💋 And yes, there will be spice. You know me better than that.

If you want another little sneak peek into Logan’s life before I start revealing more, go back and read the epilogue of The Lies We Live. There are already a few hints hiding in there about where his story is heading.

And this is only the beginning.

I already know the title. Surprising, I know!

I’m just not telling you yet. 😇*inserts evil laugh*

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The Book 3 title reveal is coming at the end of this week, and before we get there, I want to hear your guesses.

If you’ve read The Code We Break and The Lies We Live, you might have noticed there’s a bit of a pattern... (as a suspense romance reader, please tell me you’ve noticed!)

It’s your time to shine! What do you think Logan’s book is going to be called? 👀

Tell me in the comments! If you guess right, I’ll be in touch for a special reward, besides your bragging rights!

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And one more important thing is that ARC applications will be opening soon.

Newsletter subscribers will get first access before I share the application publicly, so if you’re reading this as a subscriber, congratulations. You officially get dibs. 🖤

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There is so much more I want to tell you about Logan, his love interest, the world of this book, and everything else I have planned for this launch.

But I suppose I should behave and save something for next time. Right?

More very soon. 🖤

Nicky xox

P.S.: I’m not committing to a specific date yet as I’m hanging onto whatever little sanity I’ve left. But it’s coming soon!!

Before I took a birthday break, I was running on fumes, closer to burnout than I wanted to admit. So I took real time off, refilled the tank, and came back hungry to write again. That hunger is essential for me. It's the thing I guard, because it's what allows me to finish a story, even when it’s not an easy one to write.

And there is a lot coming to the page. Logan's book is happening, and I cannot wait for you to meet him and his love interest. He's brooding, he’s generous, and he’ll transform from golden retriever to doberman with a great “touch her and die” scene!!

This third book isn’t easy; there are some heavy moments, and, while writing them, I feel them deeply, so I need a lighter soul to give it my best. Be patient a little bit longer, and I hope you’ll find the wait worthwhile.

Also, a reminder that my paid subscribers here and the members of my content team have access to my ARCs automatically! If you loved The Code We Break or The Lies We Live, you can support me as a paid subscriber, talking about my books online and offline (book clubs anyone???) and if you’re a ride-or-die supporter, the street team, my inner circle, is waiting for you!

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Now, the fun part, because I did have fun and I’m learning to celebrate the good things as they come. I went to Paris!!

There's a spirit to that city that got under my skin and won't leave. I walked until my feet filed a formal complaint. I went up the Eiffel Tower even if I’m afraid of heights. I wandered Versailles, all that gilded excess, but also the fact that history is made up of flawed people, and when I have the chance to touch it, physically touch an item that withstood the test of time, I feel moved. The experience inspires me to also want to leave a mark on the world, in some shape or form.

During this vacation, there were oysters and chilled wine, and slow lunches with my husband that turned into slow afternoons, the two of us finally exhaling at the same time, and spending quality time together. I needed to slow down, and while a few days are not enough to replenish the well, they’re a start. Perfectionism shows up even when planning to rest. It doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing exercise. I can nap for 20 minutes if exhausted, even if, yes, I wish I could sleep for hours. But waiting to have those hours will cause me to miss the smaller moments of respite, of nourishment.

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I also booked a tour of a perfume museum and a workshop afterward. I didn't do it for research or because it might be useful someday. I did it because it sounded lovely, and it was. I blended my own scent and walked out with a sample perfume that’s entirely unique, and, no surprises, it’s not fantastic because the workshop had only specific scents available to control the outcome. I guess they really didn’t want people pairing stuff randomly. Luckily, I found a scent in their store that is now my new favorite and a great memory of this trip. One spritz in the morning and I feel happier.

I'm saying this out loud because a lot of us quietly stopped doing things just for the pleasure of them. Not everything has to earn its keep. Some things get to be pure joy and nothing more, and I keep having to relearn that.

The only villain in the whole trip was the heatwave, which showed up uninvited and stayed like a guest who cannot read the room. Paris at that temperature is a humbling experience. Ten out of ten city, would absolutely return, ideally in a season that isn't trying to slow roast me.

Here's the flip side, though, because travel does two jobs for me. Some of it is pure fun, and some of it connects straight to my creativity. A few weeks ago, I lost a whole afternoon in the Natural History Museum in London and learned that crabs have blue blood, and that it clots fast enough to seal their own wounds and fight off infection. I wrote it down in my pocket journal, and I was far too delighted because it gave me an idea for a story.

That's the part of me I can't switch off, and I've stopped trying to. The wandering, the strange little facts I collect, they keep the well full and the stories coming. The day I stop being curious is the day I run out of things to say, so I'll keep chasing crabs around museums, apparently.

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Speaking of stories coming, I have news I'm delighted to share. This month I already passed my best month ever for pages read, and we are not even done yet. The Lies We Live has been quietly gaining new readers, and every time that page read number climbs, I picture the real person on the other end of it, reading late at night or in stolen ten minutes. That's you, and I'm so grateful.

If Emma and Kaiden were your way in and you still haven't met Vivien and Maddox, The Code We Break is where this whole tangled world began. It's the book my earliest readers found me through, and they still haven't fully forgiven me for what it did to them. Affectionately.

One of those early readers sent me her favorite line from that book this week, and seeing my words loved by others... yep, you guessed it right, it made me emotional and vulnerable. I love it!

I wrote that a while ago, and it still illustrates the relationship between Maddox and Vivien in one sentence.

I'm on the road again for work this week, so I'll be quieter than usual out there. If you want to stay in touch between newsletters, I run a broadcast channel on Instagram where I check in with readers, so come find me there.

And here is where I hand you the microphone. Hit reply and tell me which side character from my stories you think has earned their own book. I have a hunch about who you'll name. Make your case. Campaign hard. I'm reading every single one.

More soon, and Logan is next. Hope you’re ready!

Stay hydrated. 🖤

Nicky

I’m writing this newsletter deep into the night because the days have been too hot to think clearly. I’ve been living in hotels more than in my home, and my body is feeling it. Luckily, my creativity is working overtime.

From the Writer’s Desk

Two updates for you, but maybe it’s just a big one really: I’m writing! Inspiration struck, and I’m happy!

The first one I did not see coming. I sat down to edit Book 3 of Hidden Truths like a responsible adult, and a completely different story grabbed me by the collar and refused to let go. I went to one in England a few weeks ago, tucked deep in nature, with glamping and a pagan ceremony led by actual druids. Lovelies, I am not a camper. Not even the version with a real mattress and fairy lights. But I'm so glad I let myself have the whole strange, beautiful thing. And here's the part that makes me happy. Somewhere in that trip, the idea for a new story slammed into me. So I owe my friend an enormous thank you, and possibly a dedication.

I’ve been typing in the middle of the night on my phone, on trains, and on airplanes. This story got me in a chokehold! I’ve been moving at a speed that makes no sense given how much of this month I spent in airports for the day job, and I’d honestly forgotten how good it feels to be this swept up in a story. I missed it. I didn’t realize how much until it came roaring back.

So, here’s what I’m working on…

I’m writing a paranormal dark academia romance set in the early 1900s. I’m elbow deep in research on England’s elite schools of the era, the language, the small rituals, the way people said cruel things politely.

Don’t panic about the prose, though. I love Virginia Woolf and L.M. Montgomery with my whole heart, but I’m not writing in their register. The style stays modern. I’m just letting it soak up the atmosphere of the period, all that formality with menace humming underneath.

Now... did someone say WITCHES? And what about a CURSE? Oooops.

That's all you're getting out of me here. The behind-the-scenes, the research rabbit holes, the mood boards, and my inner unraveling will have to wait until the next newsletter. Or you can join me on Instagram, where I finally got the option to create a channel!! Woop woop!

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Another thing that happened is that the algorithm apparently decided to flirt with me this month.

On June 1st, a little trial reel went viral by my standards, and the day it took off, I crossed 10,000 pages read in a single day. A new record that made me do a happy dance. (witnessed only by my dogs, I’m sure they were ecstatic)

Linking here to the reel posted publicly on my IG.

The algorithm is a delight when it shows up, but it’s a fickle god. The tide that actually moves the needle is still one reader leaning over to another and saying, “Trust me, read this one”. So if one of my books found a soft spot in you, the most generous thing you can do is leave a review and put it in a friend’s hands. That’s how Vivien and Maddox, Emma and Kaiden, find the readers who need them. You’re the reason they get found at all.

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Help me reach a new milestone by reading The Lies We Live in Kindle Unlimited or buying it as an ebook or paperback. I’ll be forever grateful!

Okay. Now for the fun part.

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Currently Obsessed

Let me tell you what’s been keeping me human this month.

I binged Pursuit of Jade, meaning to watch one episode, and it swallowed me whole. I couldn’t get enough of it. It’s been exactly the escapism my fried, overworked brain has been begging for, the kind of show you sink into so completely you forget there’s a 6 am flight waiting on the other side of it. The eye candy doesn’t hurt either ;)

And now I’ve done the dangerous thing where one show becomes a whole new addiction. I’m fully down the historical Chinese romance rabbit hole, and I have no intention of climbing out. It turns out that everything I love writing is right there in those shows waiting for me. The slow burn that refuses to be hurried, and those charged moments where nobody so much as touches, and somehow that restraint is the most intense thing on the screen. So if you have recommendations, please send them. I am openly taking suggestions.

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While we’re on the subject of things worth your time, I’ve got a book to put in your hands this month.

To read: The Rose Enigma

When I released The Code We Break, and I was introducing its plot about hackers and cyberconspiracies, I met Lauren Lopes, the author of The Rose Enigma, and I ran to get a copy of her book as her Isabella is a counterpart to Maddox. I love how the characters had some similarities and were still completely different.

The Rose Enigma is a contemporary romantic suspense, a Beauty and the Beast retelling where the magic gets reimagined as tech. Beauty is a sharp-mouthed hacker. The Beast is a six-foot-seven tortured, broody billionaire. Together, they pool her technical skills and his resources to outsmart the Wolves, a crime syndicate hunting them both. Romance and cyber thriller wound into one, which, if you've spent any time with my books, you'll recognize as precisely my flavor of catnip.

This suspense romance is for you if you like:

✨ Fairytale retelling

💛 Sassy Beauty hacker

🥀 6’7 tortured, broody beast

🤓 Idiots to lovers

💰 Billionaire romance

💫 Tech instead of magic

✨Creative✨ problem solving

Get your copy today and enjoy a romantic rollercoaster set in the dangerous underbelly of Johannesburg.

One last thing before I let you go.

I’ll be bringing you deeper into the new world I’m creating as it grows, so consider tonight your invitation to the slow reveal. Bits of research that give me chills, the moodboards, the occasional dream that somehow becomes a plot point. (Yes, that happened!!) You’ll get the messy middle, not just the polished cover.

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But tonight I want something back from you.

Tell me what you’ve read in this genre. If a paranormal dark academia romance has ever wrecked you, send me the title. I’m greedy for a good book, and I want to know which stories made you ache so I can chase that same feeling in mine. Witches, curses, cruel boarding schools, morally grey love interests who should know better. Throw them all at me.

Until next time, stay up too late with a good book. I certainly will.

Nicky 🖤

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We’re in the middle of a heat wave here that arrived without warning, and it’s been a menace. I’ve swapped half my skincare, doubled down on sunscreen, and accepted that I’ll need air conditioning until October. Sleep has been patchy. My body is loud. Work has been tough, where I finish a meeting and realize I’ve been clenching my jaw the entire time.

I’m not complaining, not really. I’m grateful for the job that lets me commission artwork and hire a designer for my book covers. I worked hard for the kind of life that lets me do those things. There’s a version of me from five years ago who would faint if she knew this version of me had a content team, commissioned artwork, and not one, but two books published. That version is rooting for me. I owe it to her to keep trying to reach my dream of becoming a full-time author.

And then I saw a post the other day that’s been living rent-free in my head ever since.

Competency doesn’t mean compatibility.

Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

I felt that one in my chest.

I’m currently living a life I genuinely thought I wanted. I’m good at my job. I’m good at holding it together even when I’m tired; however, my cortisol levels are filing a formal complaint with upper management. I don’t yet know what changing this looks like, or where the lever is, or whether the lever even exists in a shape I’m allowed to pull. I just know I’m done pretending I don’t notice.

If you’ve ever quietly wondered whether being excellent at something is the same as being suited to it, hi. We’re already friends!

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From the writer’s desk

The first week of May was rough on a few fronts.

So I did the indie author equivalent of putting on lipstick to feel better. I dropped The Code We Break free for five days, expecting a polite trickle.

Lovelies. 941 downloads.

941 people decided Vivien and Maddox were worth a click. The dopamine hit was great. For a moment.

The same week, my second novel got pirated.

I thought I was prepared for this. People warned me. Other authors said it was a rite of passage, that it would happen eventually, that the appropriate response was a shrug and a takedown notice. I had the script. I knew the lines.

I still felt betrayed.

A small piece of my heart cracked because the thing about indie publishing is that there’s no machine behind me. Every book represents my hours after work and my Sundays. The Lies We Live is available on Kindle Unlimited, as an ebook, and in paperback. If you’re struggling and you genuinely want to read it, you can ask your local library to stock it, or please talk to me. I’d rather find a way to get a copy into your hands than have my work passed around illegally. Distributing someone’s intellectual property and calling it fair is a whole vibe I don’t share.

Takedown notices have been sent. Karma is my friend, and I’m choosing to trust it… while also looking for other ways to protect myself.

I have to admit that writing has not been great. I’ve had migraines that may or may not be stress-induced, and your girl is actively trying not to burn out. So I’ve been working on the writing-adjacent things instead, which still count, and arguably matter as much. Ah, the joy of being an indie author ;)

I finished editing a bonus chapter for The Code We Break. I had the best time writing this one. It scratched the exact itch I needed scratched.

I created a proper welcome funnel for new subscribers, so if you’re a newer reader around here, the experience of landing on my list is finally something I’m proud of.
You can sign up here to read the chapter immediately!

Another thing I’ve been postponing for a while is a form that indie bookstores can use to order my books. I cannot tell you how much I want to see Code and Lies on a physical shelf somewhere, picked up by a stranger who didn’t come looking for them.

And in the gentler corner of my life, I started a commonplace book. If you don’t know what that is, picture a notebook that’s part journal, part magpie hoard. I keep notes on well-being, writing techniques, words I love, the origins of names, whatever catches my attention. This weekend, I sat at the beach for thirty minutes, and I got curious about winds, their names, and I went down a research rabbit hole and now yours truly knows why some names are called the way they are. For instance, did you know that the name Mistral originates from the Provençal Occitan word mistral, which literally translates to "masterly" or "the dominant wind”? The Occitan word comes from the Latin magistralis (dominant), which comes from magister (master), as the Mistral was considered the “master wind” in the Mediterranean. I don’t know what story those words will end up in, but they’re mine now.

It’s the part of researching for the pleasure of knowing, and I’d forgotten I loved it. The collecting, before the using.

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A small tease for the curious gremlins

Book three is brewing, and I can share two of the tropes you’ll find.

Forbidden romance, boss and employee variety. Uhuh.

And touch her and die. When you’ll reach that scene, you’re going to be on your feet cheering. I’m not sorry.

That’s all you get for now. I want to keep some surprises, but they’re coming SOON.

Watching

Who else binged Off Campus? I’d been waiting for that adaptation forever! (being dramatic)

I loved the books more, though. There, I said it. The adaptation captured the bones, but the marrow lives in the page. (My pretty editions are currently giving me a very smug “told you so” look from the shelf. I’m a sucker for pretty editions, and I have two versions of this series so far.)

Still, watching this show, being alive at this time when my favorite stories are getting their own shows, it gives me joy.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments, by email, or via DMs. I love to geek out about these books! So much so that I even sent copies of The Deal to some of my content team for Christmas!

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Which brings me back to where this newsletter started.

I’m not quite sure how to slow down. I don’t yet know how to redesign a life that I’m good at, but that is, in some small ways, eating me. What I do know is that we can make small changes every day to improve our lives.

If you’ve been clenching your jaw lately, I see you. If you’ve been carrying a small grief about something being taken from you, I see you too. And if you’ve been quietly wondering whether competency is the same as compatibility in your own corner of the world, you and I are reading from the same page.

Until next time.

🖤 Nicky

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From the writer’s desk

Last week was one of those weeks where the writing just flowed. If you know, you know, and you also know how rare that is! I was in such a good rhythm I started a novella on the side, and oh my lovelies, this one is SPICY. Like, I had to put my own first draft down and pace around the studio spicy. I’ll tell you more about it soon, but for now, just know that some characters who’ve been living rent-free in my head finally got a story of their own. You can also find a sneak peek on Threads, if you’re curious. ;)

And then shit happened. My body decided it was time to remind me that I am, in fact, a human person with limits. And a terrible immune system.

I caught a cold that absolutely flattened me. Three days in bed, no laptop, no notebook, just tea and tissues and the ceiling. Which sounds like a writer’s dream until you realize that being too sick to write while ALSO being trapped in bed is a special kind of torture. All those scenes brewing in my head and no energy to put them down 🥲

The silver lining: I had a lot of time to think. About the novella. About the third book in Hidden Truths. About the shape of what’s coming. Sometimes the brain needs the body to slow down before it can do the deeper work. I’m trying to receive that lesson with grace instead of rage. Mixed results.

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What I’m reading and watching

When I can’t write, I read. And lovelies, I went on a BENDER. I tore through several books in a few days and the two clear winners were Deep End by Ali Hazelwood and the Elements of Chemistry series by Penny Reid.

Full disclosure, I usually don’t read while I’m drafting because I’m protective of my own voice. Idea pollution is a real thing for me, especially when I’m deep in a manuscript. But being sick was the perfect excuse to let myself be a reader again, not a writer, and it reignited my reading bug in the best way.

Both stories featured younger characters, which gave me an interesting realization. I sometimes got frustrated by the lack of communication between the leads and by the way they fumbled in expressing what they actually wanted. But you know what? That’s also accurate. Most of us learn how to do this by first getting it wrong. There’s something honest about watching characters trip over themselves while they figure out who they are and what they need.

Reading those books made me realize WHY I gravitate toward writing older heroines. Vivien and Emma are in their early 30s. They’ve already done some of that fumbling. They’ve already been hurt enough to know what they don’t want. Their challenge isn’t learning who they are. It’s deciding whether to let someone in who already sees it.

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And the spice in Deep End? Phew. Lukas is high on my book boyfriend list 🔥. I’ll say this, Ali Hazelwood writes dominant men with such intentionality, and reading it reminded me exactly why I’m so drawn to writing them too. Maddox in The Code We Break lives in that same lineage. The kind of man who notices everything, who controls the room without raising his voice, who makes a woman feel held and undone in the same breath.

If that’s your flavor…

Quick reminder before you go

The Code We Break is FREE for one more day on Amazon 🔥

It’s currently sitting at #56 in Contemporary Romance on Amazon US, which is genuinely a moment for me. That’s real readers, real momentum, and a real chance for more people to find their way into the Hidden Truths world.

I would love to reach more readers, and your recommendation is worth more than thousands of ads and posts. Every time you recommend one of my books, a kitten gets wings!!

If you’ve already read it (thank you, I love you), this is the perfect moment to share with a friend who needs a morally grey hacker in her life. If you haven’t read it yet, today is your sign.

GRAB IT FREE HERE!

I’ll be back next week with proper energy and proper word count. Until then, hydrate, rest when your body asks, and tell me what you’ve been reading lately. Hit reply. I read every message.

Talk soon,

Nicky 🌸

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Tell me if this sounds familiar.

You have a friend who is genuinely amazing. Talented, magnetic, the kind of person who walks into a room and changes the temperature without trying. You love her. You want to be happy for her, you ARE happy for her, and you want to be a good person.

And sometimes, when she gets the thing you’ve been quietly working toward, it’s damn hard not to feel a little sorry for yourself.

You’re not a bad friend for that. You’re tired and probably struggling to notice your progress, even if maybe it’s not as visible as others.

You’re not alone in that feeling. That’s exactly where Logan was when I started working on book three of the Hidden Truths series.

If you've read The Lies We Live, you already know what kind of man Logan is. He risked his life for Kaiden. He would do it again tomorrow without thinking twice, and that’s not me dressing him up for this newsletter; that’s just who he is.

So when Kaiden finally found Emma, Logan was happy. Genuinely. The kind of happy that means it. He showed up. He toasted them. He meant every word.

But he had to go home alone, with his thoughts and old insecurities that he couldn’t share with his best friend without dimming his light, and that’s not what this man is about. That’s why he needed space.

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From the editing cave

That's where book three opens. Logan is on his own for the first time in years, putting actual physical distance between himself and the best friend he loves. The friendship is not broken. Kaiden hasn't done anything wrong. Logan didn't like the jealousy he felt standing next to the happy couple. He had been comparing himself to Kai for so long that he had forgotten what his own outline looked like without the comparison.

He thrives in the new place. He sleeps better. He works on himself. He starts to remember things about himself he had forgotten were even his.

He also misses his best friend with a grief that surprises him.

Both are true at once. And the most important thing Logan figures out in those early chapters isn’t how to live without Kaiden. It’s how to start cheering for himself the way he’s spent a lifetime cheering for Kaiden.

Which brings me back to you ;)

You are very, very good at celebrating other people. You throw a parade when your friend gets the job. You’re the first text when she lands the deal. The screenshots get sent, and you mean every exclamation point.

When was the last time you did that for yourself?

And before you tell me you don’t have anything worth celebrating, I’m not asking about the loud wins. The Instagram-worthy ones. I’m asking about the Tuesday kind. The morning you got up and did the work, even though you didn’t want to. The chapter you finished. The hard email you finally sent. The week you showed up consistently for something that hasn’t paid off yet.

You’re putting in the work. You’re showing up every day. You may not be where you want to be yet, but you are not standing still, and that deserves more than a tired shrug at the end of the night.

Celebrate yourself the way you’d celebrate your friend. The same generosity. The same volume. The same specific kind of pride that comes from watching someone you love finally land somewhere good.

That someone is you.

So here’s what I want from you this week. Tell me one thing you’ve been quietly proud of and downplaying. The Tuesday kind. Hit reply, I want to throw a small parade in your honor in my inbox. 🖤

What I’m reading and watching

I just finished House of Ink & Oaths by Autumn Jones Lake. I’m a huge fan of her Lost Kings MC series, so I was curious about this paranormal standalone, and it turned out to be exactly the right kind of spooky for me. I devoured it in a few days while I was traveling for work, which leads me to one of my unpopular opinions. I love airplane time. It’s the one place in my life where reading is basically socially mandatory and nobody can interrupt me with a “quick question.” Guilt-free reading time is a real love language and I will defend it.

For watching, my husband and I are deep into For All Mankind, the alternate-history “what if the Soviets landed on the moon first” show that has snowballed into a full-blown obsession. The acting is sharp, the characters are gorgeously messy (the good guys aren’t pristine, the villains are complex, layered human beings), and I cannot tell you how many story ideas this show has handed me as a writer. If you’ve been craving a prestige drama where moral grey is the default setting, this is it. And you know how much I love morally grey characters!

One last thing

If you’ve made it this far, here’s the news. From May 1 through May 5, The Code We Break is free as an ebook. No strings, no catches.

If you’ve been waiting for the right moment to put it in a friend’s hands, this is it. The corporate baddies in your life deserve a Maddox. So do you, but you’ve already had him, and now you get the smug satisfaction of watching her go through it for the first time. ;)

Sharing is caring. It’s also the difference between my books quietly falling into oblivion and one day being the next HBO Max binge that ruins someone’s entire weekend. (A girl can dream. A girl IS dreaming.) 🖤

I’m trying to build a sustainable newsletter cadence. Let’s see if I can maintain it, so stay tuned to get more frequent updates and behind-the-scenes.

With love,

Nicky xox

But those three men are very real; they all live in my head rent-free, and by the time you’re done reading this post, hopefully you’ll understand why I haven’t stopped thinking about them.

Let’s start with the billionaire in question.

I finished reading Draft 1 of Book 3.

I need you to understand what that sentence cost me. Publishing The Lies We Live took everything I had. I was taking on more responsibilities at work, running against the clock to finish editing, and somewhere in the middle of all that, I moved house. Then I got sick for two weeks because apparently the universe thought I wasn’t stressed enough.

I needed months of creative rest after that. Months of letting stories simmer in the background while life did what life does, which is refuse to slow down. I got a promotion at work (yay!), but that means longer hours, bigger responsibilities, and not nearly enough time to breathe as I set up things in a way that’s sustainable in the long run. So I’ve been planning things in my head, carrying these characters around with me, waiting for the right moment to sit down and face what I’d written.

Last week, I finally did it. I read Draft 1 of Book 3, and when I got to the end, I immediately messaged my writing besties because they knew I’d been putting off that read-through for weeks. Terrified it would be a disaster. Convinced I’d open the file and wonder what I was thinking.

Does it lag in places? Yes. Does it need a massive editing pass? Oh yes, but the bones are strong, the intensity surprised me more than once (rude, considering I wrote it), and there are healing scenes that made my own chest ache. The FMC might be my favorite character I’ve ever created. Fierce and fragile in the same breath, never one at the expense of the other. Some of the themes are sensitive, so this book will carry trigger warnings, and Draft 2 needs all my focus. I owe it to these characters.

If you don’t know, book 3 is Logan’s story.

Some of you met him in The Lies We Live. The best friend. The steady one. The man who held everything together while Kaiden was distracted chasing Emma, the self-made billionaire who built a dream around speed and fire and never once expected anyone to notice. He’s been waiting patiently in the background of this series, and I finally gave him the story he deserves.

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Some spoilers on Book 3 of the Hidden Truths series

Imagine: Mediterranean setting. Sun on crystal water, salt in the air, the kind of heat that gets under your skin and makes you want to wear skimpy clothes. MotoGP racing as the backdrop, so think engines roaring through your ribs, leather, adrenaline, the blur between control and chaos. A villain that genuinely scared me to write. And a love story built on hurt and healing, on two people who find family in each other when the world has taken theirs away.

If you love Lauren Asher, Ana Huang, or TL Swan, billionaire romance with morally grey men and danger woven through the love story, Logan’s book was written with you in mind.

Can we talk about something sensitive for a second?

March has been my best month ever for pages read on Kindle Unlimited (107.597 but who’s counting, right??). I stared at the numbers for a long time, feeling so grateful I could burst. You did that. Every page you turned, every chapter you stayed up too late for, every book you recommended to a friend. That was you, choosing my words, and I will never stop being amazed by that.

The messages I’ve been getting about The Lies We Live? Most of you devoured it in two days or less. Some of you in one sitting. I keep getting DMs that start with “I meant to go to bed at a reasonable hour” and end with “your spice is so good, I need to wake up my husband.” ^^ (I giggled at that one!!)

Several of you told me you screamed out loud during the villain reveal. One reader said she had to put the book down during a certain danger scene, walk around her apartment, and then come back because her heart was pounding too hard to keep reading. These messages make my day, my week, damn, my whole year!

I write these books to make you feel something. Not just the romance, not just the spice, but that gut-punch of tension when everything goes sideways and you genuinely don’t know if they’re going to make it. Knowing that’s landing? Knowing you’re gasping and screaming and staying up past your bedtime? That’s why I keep writing.

But there’s a lesson in all this. I’m still learning something important about this author career. I have to detach from the numbers. I have to keep my eyes on the thing that actually matters, which is the writing itself. The stories waiting for me. The characters who won’t shut up until I give them their own book. I have this series to finish, at least two more spin-offs planned, and if I spend my energy refreshing dashboards instead of writing, none of that happens. So thank you for March. And thank you in advance for letting me disappear into the work when I need to.

Please tell your friends, your cousins, your nail technician about my stories so I can put my head down and write. Your recommendation is worth thousands of reels or posts, so I appreciate your support in reaching new readers.

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Now for the biker.

I started drafting the first book in the Iron Wolves MC series. If you’ve read The Lies We Live, you’ve already met some of these men. Rex. Hawk. And Tank, the Sergeant at Arms, who showed up to protect Emma and carried a kind of quiet intensity that made me want to write him immediately. This was a man with hidden depths.

Tank gets his own book, and we’re going somewhere new with it. Not the polished towers of Silverpoint’s business district this time. We’re heading to the harbor, the rougher side of town, where the rules are different. Darker. Grittier. Still mine, still emotionally charged, still the kind of story where love is grown through mess, but with engine grease under the fingernails and loyalty that runs deeper than blood.

I cannot wait for you to meet the woman who’s going to bring Tank to his knees.

Here’s where I need you. I’m deciding whether to prioritize Logan’s book or Tank’s next. Both are pulling at me. Both deserve my full attention. So tell me: which one do you want to read first? The billionaire on the Mediterranean coast or the biker from the harbor? Hit reply and cast your vote. I mean it. Your answer might actually decide what I work on next.

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And the rockstar?

Omg, I already have a playlist ready for this story! There’s a new secondary character in Logan’s book. Someone I didn’t plan for. He showed up on the page and refused to leave, and now I have an entire spin-off planned for him. Rockstar romance. That’s all I’m saying for now. You’ll understand when you meet him, but can I say it’s going to be wild? Yep. Bring your ice, lovely, you’ll need it.

Life and manifesting

On a completely unrelated note, I have been trying to find the right box to ship signed copies of my books to my content team, and I am turning into Goldilocks over here. Too big. Too flimsy. Too ugly. Too expensive. I just want a box that says “someone who cares about you packed this with love” without costing me a kidney. If anyone has a recommendation, I am genuinely begging. My dining table is covered in rejected cardboard, and my family is losing patience. Pink would be preferred. ;) And yes, there are added goodies as well!

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If you haven’t picked up The Lies We Live yet, now’s the time. You’ll meet Logan, you’ll meet the Iron Wolves, and you’ll get a taste of everything that’s coming. The whole series is standalone and interconnected, so you can start anywhere, but I promise the experience is richer when you read them all. [Read The Code We Break and The Lies We Live on KU today.]

I also want to mention something I’ve been dreaming about for a while. I would love to offer you audiobook versions of my books, and I’m hoping to have that opportunity soon. If that’s something you’d be excited about, let me know. I’m putting it out there for the Universe to hear me and to place the right people on my trajectory. ;)

Before I go, two questions. What’s your favorite trope? And which secondary character from my books are you most desperate to see get their own story? I have my suspicions about who you’ll say, but feel free to surprise me. ;)

Hit reply or leave a comment. I read every single one.

Nicky🖤

I knew this book came from somewhere real. I knew Kaiden and Emma’s story wasn’t built to fit a trend or hit a checklist. I wrote it because I needed to, because the slow burn felt true, because the tension between who we perform for the world and who we are in private felt like something worth sitting with. Writing to market would have been smarter, probably. I chose to write from the heart instead.

A month later, I’m still a little stunned by what came back.

In less than ten days this month, I’ve nearly matched everything The Lies We Live earned in its entire first month. And that first month? Already broke records for me.

Disclaimer: I’m comparing my progress against myself, not someone else or external metrics. Each path is different, and while I’m not hiding under a rock, I decided to celebrate my wins instead of wasting time envying other people’s success.

Some transparent numbers for the data-driven, curious gremlins 🖤

The Lies We Live Month 1: KENP 31,481 / Books sold: 25

The Code We Break Month 1: KENP 15,115 / Books sold: 64

Two different readerships finding the same series through completely different doors. I find that deeply satisfying in a way I can’t fully explain.

The beauty of these stories is that I wrote them as interconnected and standalone. You can jump at any point! The Lies We Live is a great starting point, as well as The Code We Break.

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Here's what some of you had to say:

If The Lies We Live has been sitting in your TBR, this is your nudge. And if it already wrecked you in the best way, tell a friend. Word of mouth is everything for an indie author, and every share, every rec, every you NEED to read this to a coworker on a Monday morning means more than you know. 🖤

Real talk time

My brain staged a quiet revolt after the final push to finish edits. I was editing on deadline while moving house and working full time, and the moment Lies launched, my creativity went completely offline. No dramatic breakdown. Just a very dignified nope. I’ve learned to respect that. The well needed to be refilled.

It’s refilling. Slowly, deliciously. And I have a few weeks of relative calm before work travel picks up again, which means I’m starting to hear the characters again.

It’s exciting! I’m slowly starting to get the brain buzz that signals I’m on the right track. Yesterday morning (Sunday), I sat at my desk, with a fresh cup of coffee and nowhere to be and nothing to do. Exactly what my brain needed.

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Can I pick your brain?

Which brings me to what’s coming, because there’s a lot in the pot.

1. Let’s talk about bonus chapters. I’m setting them up for both The Code We Break and The Lies We Live, and newsletter subscribers get them first. More Maddox. More Kaiden. You’re welcome.

2. What am I working on? Book 3 of Hidden Truths is coming. Logan’s story. Another billionaire, another slow burn, another suspense romance built to make your chest hurt in the best possible way. I cannot wait to tell you more. Seriously giddy here about the characters you’ll meet!

3. Very early, more feeling than plan right now, but if you’ve read The Lies We Live, there’s a character who showed up and refused to leave the back of my mind. You’ll know exactly who I mean when you get there. He’s getting his own world, his own series, something rawer and darker than Hidden Truths. The Iron Wolves MC. That’s all I’m saying for now.

I’m honestly leaning toward doing both, Logan’s story and the new world, because my heart needs to finish what it started and my brain desperately needs something fresh to play with.

But I’d love to know what you’re hungry for. Hit reply. Tell me. 🖤

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Nicky xox

P.S.: I opened a group for readers who want to discuss my novels in more depth or simply have a space to vent about the villains or cheer for the best friends who deserve their own happy ending. Anyway, you can join the group here. I would love to chat more with you all.

The Lies We Live has been out in the world for a few weeks now, and I need to tell you what’s been happening.

People are feeling things.

I let them speak for themselves, because they say it better than I ever could.

One reader wrote that this book is “the kind of tension that makes you want to scream into a pillow” and that she is “still recovering.” Another called it “a torturous, simmering slow burn” where the payoff “doesn’t feel rushed; it feels earned.”

That’s the thing I care about most. I never want the ending to feel easy. I want you to earn it alongside them. I want you turning pages at 1 a.m. thinking, “how are they going to survive this?” and then when they do, I want it to hit you like a wall.

One review said this book “makes you work for the happily ever after through layers of suspense and raw emotion.” If that sentence makes you lean forward instead of pull back, you’re my kind of reader.

And then there’s what readers are saying about these two.

About Kaiden: “The kind of hero who stays with you long after you close the book.” Someone called him “layered, conflicted, and driven by both guilt and purpose” and wrote that watching him “wrestle with the cost of truth versus survival had my heart in my throat more than once.” Another reader said he’s “so protective in the most respectful way. An absolute gem of a man fighting for his own identity and to be seen as who he really is.”

That last line. That’s Kaiden in one breath. A man who could buy anything in the world but can’t buy the one thing he actually wants, which is to be loved for who he is underneath the name.

About Emma: “Strong without being hardened, cautious without being cold.” A reader said her vulnerability “feels earned” and that “the way she pushes back against power, privilege, and emotional manipulation makes her impossible not to root for.”

If you’ve ever been the smartest person in a room that refused to acknowledge it, Emma is going to feel like someone finally wrote your story.

And the line that stopped me completely, the one I keep rereading at odd hours: “It is about trust, accountability, and choosing love even when it costs everything.”

That’s the book. I spent months trying to write that sentence, and a reader handed it to me in one line.

If you haven’t read it yet, you can find it on Kindle Unlimited, ebook and paperback.

If you haven’t met Kaiden and Emma yet

The Lies We Live is a slow-burn billionaire romance wrapped in a corporate conspiracy. Kaiden inherited blood money and is quietly burning his father’s empire to the ground from the inside. Clean energy. Carbon capture. Everything his corrupt family hates.

Emma is a marketing lead starting fresh in a new city, dealing with office politics and dreaming of a life that’s actually hers.

She doesn’t know who he really is. He doesn’t know how to be loved by someone who wants nothing from him.

Their meeting is the kind of awkward, sweet collision that sneaks up on you and will make you want to read this scene again and again. When the secrets start unraveling, the stakes aren’t just romantic. They’re dangerous.

The Lies We Live is a standalone in the Hidden Truths series. You can start here or with Book 1, The Code We Break. Both will wreck you. Fair warning. ;)

One more thing before I forget

I’ve updated both manuscripts. If you’ve already read The Code We Break, go update your copy. You’ll find the first two chapters of The Lies We Live waiting at the end. Consider it a taste of Kaiden and Emma before you commit. (You’ll commit. I’m just being coy about it.)

And if you found me through The Lies We Live and haven’t met Vivien and Maddox yet... oh, you have a treat ahead of you. The Code We Break is there, ready, and the first two chapters are now tucked into the back of your copy of Lies. A morally grey hacker who monitors her every move and a forensic analyst who refuses to back down from a fight. Different couple, same world, same emotional damage. I hope you’ll enjoy them as we expand the world of this ragtag group, now a found family.

I’ve also just launched a Facebook group for my readers, and I would love to see you there. I haven’t done this before, so I’ll be honest, it’s scary, and I feel like the new kid in school, inviting people to their birthday party.

Will people show up? Will I have to eat the cake all by myself? (This last part is not a problem.)
This group will be the place where we talk about these characters like they’re real people, where you’ll get first looks at teasers and covers, and where you can yell about book boyfriends with people who understand you. I would love to chat with you there.

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A little behind the scenes

After months of redrafting and editing The Lies We Live (I cut a third of the book, which physically hurt), and finally publishing it on time, let me tell you, that was an achievement in itself. I was exhausted.

I did something I didn’t do in a long time. I gave myself two weeks off. No writing. No manuscripts at midnight. Instead, I filled my after-work time with friends, late nights, spontaneous plans, and the feeling of having a brain that isn’t hyperfocused on a single goal.

It taught me something I want to share because I think some of you will recognize it. I set a release deadline before the editing was fully done, and I truly believed it was achievable but… I forgot that life doesn’t run on perfect plans.

The pressure took some of my joy out of the process. I won’t do that again. The books deserve better. I deserve better. And honestly, so do you. You deserve a story I loved writing, not one I survived.

I’m still proud of the final version. It’s sharp and emotional, and I fell in love again with Kaiden and Emma, as more than a year had passed since I wrote their story. The good news is that the scenes I cut aren’t gone, by the way. Readers can expect bonus chapters with more of Kaiden and Emma. Some moments didn’t serve the story, but they absolutely serve the heart, and I want you to have them.

Stay tuned and don’t forget to subscribe below to be the first to know when I’ll release bonus chapters.

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What’s next?

I have completed the first draft of Book 3 of Hidden Truths, and it’s waiting for me, but after months of living inside one world, my creative brain is hungry for something new.

So I’ve started plotting a spin-off series.

Some of you met them in The Lies We Live. The leather cuts. The motorcycles. The men who appeared at the worst possible moment and changed everything.

The Iron Wolves.

I can’t say much yet. I’m in the early days where everything feels electric and possible, and I want to protect that energy for as long as I can. If the idea of a motorcycle club romance with the same emotional depth and suspense you love from Hidden Truths makes your pulse do something interesting...

Stay close. 🖤

Before you go, have you read The Lies We Live yet? If yes, I want to know the scene that’s still living rent-free in your head. And if you haven’t picked it up, what are you waiting for? Go. I’ll be here when you come back.

Nicky xox🖤

No private jets as foreplay. No “I bought the building you live in” as a love language. No penthouse sex scene within the first three chapters. (Okay, there might be a penthouse, but that’s not the point.)

I wanted to write a love story about being chosen before anyone knows what you’re worth. About two people who’ve been performing their whole lives, one in boardrooms, one in relationships, finally meeting someone they don’t have to perform for.

And I wanted the world around them to feel like it could swallow them whole. Corporate conspiracy. Family corruption. A father willing to destroy his own son’s life to keep his empire intact. The kind of thriller tension that makes you forget you’re reading a romance until someone’s heart cracks open mid-chapter and you realize you’ve been holding your breath for forty pages.

That was the plan, anyway.

The reality was me, at 2 am, editing the same scene for the fifth time, wondering if any of it was good enough. It was weeks of four-hour sleep. It was choosing this book over rest, over downtime, over everything that wasn’t the day job or my family. It was staring at a draft, thinking, "This is either the best thing I’ve written, or this is a pile of shit, and I genuinely cannot tell which."

That’s the part they don’t show you in the “indie author journey” highlight reels. The part where you love the story so much it terrifies you, because what if you’re the only one?

Tomorrow, The Lies We Live goes live. I’m terrified. And proud. It took me longer than expected to reach this point, but I can stand behind this story. I haven’t compromised on quality, even if I paid the price for it.

I’m running on fumes. Also so, so ready for you to meet Emma and Kaiden. They’re the beginning of this series. Their story is the first one I came up with; their meet-cute kept playing in my head for months. Until I had to write their story.

Kaiden changed his name. Built a company with his best friends, away from his legacy. Carbon capture, sustainable tech, everything his corrupt father despises. He’s been fighting alone for years, and he’s very good at being alone. Until he meets a woman who sees through him before she even knows there’s something to see through.

Emma is a marketing lead rebuilding her life in a new city. Her past made her protective of her heart. Fear of being hurt again is a constant companion. She dreams of finding herself again, but in the meantime, she has to face the office bully.

She falls for a man who listens when she talks about those dreams. Who looks at her with quiet intensity, like she’s the first real thing he’s touched in years.

She has no idea he’s worth billions.

He has no idea what it feels like to be wanted by someone who wants nothing from him.

If you love billionaire romance with actual stakes, slow burn tension that earns every single touch, and a thriller running underneath the love story... tomorrow’s your day. Grab a copy of The Lies We Live, leave a review, and tell a friend who needs this. That’s how indie books find their readers.

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Here’s the part that made me cry today.

ARCs went out yesterday. A reader already finished it. The whole book. In one sitting. She said it was amazing.

I read her message three times. Put my phone down. Stared at the ceiling. Wrote to my PA with tons of exclamation marks. Told my husband.

You don’t understand what that does to an author who’s been pouring herself into this book in the dark, alone, for months. Who sacrificed sleep she’ll never get back, who second-guessed every chapter, every line, every choice. And then someone devours it all in a day and says yes, this is it, this is the one.

That’s the thing about writing books. You work in silence, hand the result to a stranger, and hold your breath.

Today I got to exhale.

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If you’ve ever been the smartest person in the room and the most exhausted one too... if you’ve ever wanted someone to look at you and say I see all of it, and I’m not going anywhere... if you’ve ever been so tired of making every decision that the idea of someone worthy saying “I’ve got you” makes your whole body go quiet...

Kaiden and Emma’s story was written for you.

The Lies We Live drops tomorrow. I would love nothing more than for you to read it, to feel something, and to tell me about it. Every review, every message, every “I stayed up too late because of you” makes this whole sleepless, terrifying, beautiful thing worth it.

I hope this story will provide some hours of escapism. Your nervous system needs it.

🖤Nicky xox

P.S.: If you haven’t read the previous book in this series, The Code We Break is on offer for one more day and is also available on Kindle Unlimited and in paperback.

The Lies We Live is the story I couldn’t stop writing. A billionaire who inherited an empire built on corruption and decided to burn it down from the inside. Clean energy. Carbon capture. Everything his father despises. A woman stuck in corporate hell, surrounded by people who undermine her and smile while doing it, dreaming of escape, falling for a man she thinks she knows.

He has everything. Except someone who wants him for who he actually is.

Secret identity. Workplace romance. Grumpy sunshine with a dangerous streak. Touch her and die energy. The kind of tension that builds until you can’t breathe and want to scream, “Kiss her already!”

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Succession meets Mad Men, if Mad Men had a love story that made you feral, and if the oldest boy from Succession was competent and eager to build his own path, instead of waiting to inherit.

If you want to read it before release day and leave an honest review, I want you on my ARC team.

Click here to claim your spot. Also, please share with friends who might like a slow-burning billionaire romance with a touch of workplace forbidden attraction.

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Beyond books

2026 started with a house move (good), followed by two weeks of being sick during my vacation (less good). No writing. No editing. Just me, horizontal, watching my timeline unravel.

I’m behind on editing The Lies We Live, and the pressure has made it hard to find joy in the process.

Major lesson learned: never announce a release date before the final draft is done. My future self thanks me for finally understanding this.

After this release, I’m giving myself space. A few weeks to brainstorm, to breathe, to remember why I do this. Book three is drafted and waiting, and I’m also itching to start something new. Maybe the Iron Wolves, my motorcycle club series. (You’ll meet some of them in book two. Prepare to have feelings... of some sort! You can also read the first two chapters, rough drafts, in my WIPs area.)

Word of the year

My word for 2026 is BELONG. After a lifetime of feeling like an outsider, faking it until it almost felt real, I want to actually settle into this life I’m building. The writing community. My career. All of it.

I was undecided between Align and Sustain, and while they rang true to what I need and want, they didn’t light my soul on fire as I felt last year with EXPAND. A few days ago, a newsletter mentioned belonging to convince me to sign up to a new coaching program, and the word resonated within me in ways I knew it was the right one for the life I want to manifest this year. Nope, I didn’t sign up for the coaching, but I’m very grateful! ;)

Do you choose a word of the year? What’s yours? Let me know in the comments or email me.

🖤 Nicky

There’s a dog asleep on my feet, Taylor Swift’s The Fate of Ophelia playing softly, and through the window I can see tall trees and open sky. The light is filtering through clouds the way it does when the world is asking you to slow down and pay attention. I could watch it for hours.

From the outside, 2025 probably looks like a big year for me. And it was, I’m not going to diminish my results and efforts.

I published my first novel. People read it. Strangers fell in love with Maddox and Vivien and sent me messages that made me cry in a good way. The Code We Break stayed in the top 100 of Financial Thrillers for a while. Reviews came in saying “I felt seen,” which is everything I hoped for when I wrote it. I also navigated my first year after a major promotion at my “adult job”. We moved into our newly renovated house just before Christmas, and this was a long time coming! I found a community of creative women, fellow authors who understand what it means to build something while life keeps demanding everything you’ve got. I commissioned artwork that made my characters feel real in a new way. I formed a street team (we still need a name, by the way, let’s make it happen).

People tell me, “I don’t know how you do it all.”

Here’s the truth: I don’t.

I wanted to publish two books this year. I published one. I poured money into courses I never had the mental space to finish. I got sick after every work trip and fell behind on editing. To get The Code We Break out on time, I spent too many nights working until 3 am, running on four hours of sleep, meeting a deadline I set for myself based on someone else's timeline. I wanted to do better for book two. I'm learning that I can't do fast edits, that I need to plan around MY timing, not some ideal I borrowed from people whose lives look nothing like mine.

There was a family loss this year that reshaped everything for a while. I'm the one who handles the practical things, the logistics of grief, even when I wished desperately that some High Lord would kidnap me to a fey realm where a sentient house takes care of everything and I could just feel without also having to manage. My husband isn't a magical house, but he held things together when I couldn't. We watched 90s movies in bed and Heated Rivalry in a hotel room. We set up our new kitchen, the heart of our home. The simple things. The things that actually mattered to nurture my soul.

Writing after work meant less social life. That was a trade-off I made with my eyes open. We can do anything, but we cannot do everything. Something has to give. So I chose. I chose family. I chose writing. I chose to do well at my job. And I let other things go, even when letting go felt like failing.

This year, I learned that I’m a pantser through and through. I have notebooks filled with stories I plotted meticulously and will never write because knowing too much kills the magic. I write by vibes and emotion. If I can’t feel my way forward, I don’t move. Turns out that’s true for life too, not just fiction.

The biggest lesson of 2025? Be in the moment.

There is always a to-do list. There will always be a to-do list. But the time we spend with the people we love is the thing we cannot get back. The best moments of this year weren’t the milestones. They were the quiet ones. The movies in bed. The kitchen coming together. The light through the clouds.

And I’m grateful. Not for the achievements, though those matter too. I’m thankful for the people who were with me on this journey.

For my street team, who showed up for my book with an enthusiasm that still catches me off guard. For the supportive authors who understand this strange, beautiful, exhausting thing we’re all trying to do. For the readers who found Vivien and Maddox and decided to stay. Strangers often champion indie authors more fiercely than the people who’ve known us forever, and I’ve stopped questioning that. I just feel lucky.

For my husband, who isn’t a High Lord but who makes the ordinary feel like enough.

For you, reading this right now.

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I have dreams for 2026. Big, probably-too-ambitious dreams, but I also have goals, the kind that depend on action rather than luck. Kaiden and Emma’s story is coming on February 9th in The Lies We Live. If you haven’t met Maddox and Vivien yet in The Code We Break, you’re right on time, and Kaiden will make his first appearance in Code.

And if you’ve read my book and loved it, here’s my small ask: when you see someone looking for a recommendation, mention The Code We Break or, in the future, The Lies We Live. Word of mouth is everything for indie authors, and every mention reaches someone who might be searching for exactly that kind of story.

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I’ll leave you with a piece of commissioned artwork from The Code We Break. A quiet moment between Maddox and Vivien. Because sometimes the simplest moments hold the most meaning.

Thank you for being here. For reading. For caring.

Here’s to the mess, the magic, and the people who make it all worthwhile.

What’s your biggest dream for 2026?

Nicky xox

I’m going to be honest with you because that’s the only kind of relationship worth having.

These past few months have felt like treading water in a pool that keeps getting deeper. Full-time job. Book marketing. Social media. Writing book two. The holidays are creeping closer with all their complicated weight. Some of you know I lost my mother, and December has this way of pressing on bruises I thought had faded, but they never do.

Meanwhile, The Code We Break just crossed 36,000 pages read on Kindle Unlimited. Last Friday was my highest single-day page-reads since launch, and we’re sitting in the top 100 Financial Thrillers on Amazon right now, rubbing shoulders with books from authors who have entire teams behind them. If you haven’t checked it out yet, this is what readers are saying.

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Real people, choosing to spend their precious hours with Vivien and Maddox, humble me and keep me going.

The math doesn’t make sense, does it? Depleted and celebrated at the same time. Stuck and moving forward. The loneliest I’ve felt in months while connecting with readers who message me things like, “I understand Vivien’s trust issues.”

Writing is strange like that. You sit alone in a room, bleeding onto a page, hoping someone somewhere will recognize the shape of their own wounds. And then strangers become friends because your characters gave them permission to feel something they’d been holding at arm’s length.

I’ve had readers tell me they love that Vivien is complex and clever, that she’s decisive about love even when it’s terrifying. That Maddox shows his tender underbelly and isn’t ashamed to be vulnerable with the woman he loves. These messages land in my inbox as little life rafts on days when the water feels especially deep.

I have more to be grateful for, especially the author friends I’ve made along the way, who are real treasures. Still, even in a community, the actual work of writing is you and the screen and the characters who sometimes refuse to cooperate.

Nobody else can write your book for you. Nobody else can sit with the fear that maybe you’ve said everything you had to say with the first one.

I haven’t, for the record. Book two is coming.

Speaking of which.

I have something for you!! A first glimpse.

The Lies We Live releases February 9th, 2025, and you can pre-order the ebook right now. Click here to pre-order!

Here’s what you’re getting:

A billionaire who inherited blood money and is burning his father’s empire from the inside. Clean energy. Carbon capture. Everything the corrupt bastard hates. She doesn’t know he’s rich. He doesn’t know how to be loved by someone who wants nothing from him.

If you loved Vivien and Maddox, Kaiden and Emma are going to wreck you in entirely new ways.

These are some tropes you can expect:

Billionaire romance. Grumpy x sunshine. Secret identity. Morally grey MMC. He falls first. Touch her and die. Found family. Strong-willed FMC. Mental health rep.

Cover reveal coming soon. I can’t wait to show you.

Pre-orders genuinely help indie authors more than I can express. They signal to Amazon’s algorithm that a book matters, and they give me something tangible to hold onto on the days when the doubt gets loud. If you’re willing to click that button, you’re doing me a kindness I won’t forget. (And yes, I’m annoyed Amazon doesn’t let me do paperback pre-orders. I would if I could.)

Not caught up yet? The Code We Break is waiting for you. Meet Vivien and Maddox first. Trust me on this one.

If you’re navigating your own version of this, the juggling act, the grief that resurfaces, the quiet depletion that hides behind a functioning exterior, I see you. We’re spinning plates together, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Sending you hugs and supportive thoughts, especially if this season is hard on you.

You’re not alone, and I hope my words offer you a tiny bit of company and relief.

Nicky

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P.S. Want to support an indie author this season?

The simplest way costs nothing but a few seconds. Like my posts. Comment. Share. The algorithm gods are fickle and easily bribed by engagement.

Tell a friend who devours suspense romance and thrillers. Word of mouth is still the most powerful marketing on the planet, and I don’t have a publicist. I have you.

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And if you’re looking for a gift for the reader in your life who wants morally grey book boyfriends and heroines who don’t need to change to be loved? The Code We Break makes a pretty good stocking stuffer. Just saying.

Thank you for being here. It matters more than you know.

N. xox

Vivien and Maddox have lived in my head for years. I’ve described them in pages and Pinterest boards, and tried to translate their vibes. And now I’m slowly building a visual world around them, one artist at a time.

This piece is from a new artist (new to me), and when I first saw it, I just sat with it for a while.

I got carried away with the background. That’s on me!

Vivien wears an emerald dress that matches her eyes, a silver bracelet catching the light, heels sharp enough to puncture a man’s ego. She’s a woman who built her whole life with precision and still goes home to wine and late nights and the quiet hope that someone out there might be worth letting in. Maddox stands beside her in leather and combat boots, the kind of man whose cargo pants announce he knows twelve ways to hurt you, but he’s choosing to keep his hands in his pockets instead.

There’s something surreal about watching different artists interpret your imagination. Each one catches something different, making them a little more real.

More artwork is coming over the next few months, different scenes and characters from the Hidden Truths world. I’m building something here, piece by piece, and I was hoping you could watch it take shape with me.

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I’m going to be honest with you about something.

Last week was hard.

I posted a spicy scene on TikTok, and the comments section turned into a pile-on. Pearl-clutching about the content (ma’am, this is spicy romance, what were you expecting?), people calling my writing “cringe,” and one person who said it seemed like AI wrote it.

That last one sat in my chest like a splinter.

The whole point of what I write is intimacy, being seen. The thing my characters crave, the thing my readers crave, the thing I crave is the opposite of artificial. It’s the most human hunger there is.

I deleted the comments because I’m not interested in giving cruelty a platform, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t sting. There’s a particular kind of hurt that comes from putting something vulnerable into the world and having strangers try to make you feel small for it.

Here’s what I reminded myself. Those people were never my readers. The algorithm served my work to an audience it was never meant for, and they showed up with torches. Meanwhile, my actual readers, the ones who understand what this book is doing, loved that scene. They tell me it made them feel seen, understood, and held in their desires instead of shamed for them.

That’s who I write for. Not the people who stumble in looking to tear something down, but the ones who stumble in looking for permission to want what they want.

If you’ve ever put something real into the world and had people try to make you feel embarrassed for it, I see you. The internet shows us the best and worst of people, often in the same scroll, and some days you have to choose whose voices you let in.

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In better news, I’ve made author friends.

This was something I wanted for so long and I wasn’t sure it would happen. Writing is such solitary work. You spend months, sometimes years, alone with your story, then push it into the world and hope someone catches it.

But there’s this whole community of indie authors who get it, who celebrate each other’s wins without jealousy, share what works, and commiserate over what doesn’t. They understand that another writer’s success doesn’t diminish your own.

It’s been one of the unexpected gifts of publishing, and I’m grateful for it, especially on the weeks when the internet decides to be unkind.

Speaking of author friends.

If you loved the hacker energy in The Code We Break, I want to introduce you to Hacker’s Accomplice by Jasmine C. Caldwell.

Every criminal has a line they won’t cross. Frankie just found hers. When Frankie, also known as the infamous hacker Eraser X, discovers her employer has been running a trafficking ring, she doesn’t just get out: she vows to take them down. She runs to an old friend to help rescue the victims and put an end to the criminal syndicate. But when she arrives, she discovers even more allies, including the devastatingly handsome Sam. Sam, a burned-out FBI agent, is on a much-needed vacation when Frankie shows up at his best friend’s house. She wants help to take down a human trafficking group, and he’s all in. But he doesn’t realize that Frankie used to work for the bad guys. Not until he realizes that Frankie’s signature is the same as the hacker he’s spent months trying to find. How can he turn Frankie in when she holds his heart? But someone has to answer for her crimes… This opposites attract, BWWM romantic suspense novel features a grumpy agent who can’t talk to girls, a feisty hacker with trust issues, and bad guys who refuse to let her go. This steamy novel ends with a HEA for the couple while continuing the overarching plot of the Hunt Security series.

It’s opposites attract with a feisty hacker who has trust issues and a grumpy agent who can’t turn her in because she already has his heart. If you like your romance with moral complexity and high stakes, this one’s for you.

Get the book here!

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Meanwhile, I’m deep in draft three of book two.

Billionaire romance with office tension and corporate conspiracy, all of it tying back to The Code We Break. Think Succession, but where the MMC is an ethical billionaire fighting off his corrupted family while hiding his identity from the woman he’s attracted to. We have a new talented FMC, in the same world where power is dangerous, and love is a choice you make with your eyes open.

It’s demanding everything I have right now. Some days I sit in front of the white page and wonder if I can pull it off, and other days I write a scene that makes me feel like I was born to tell this story. Both of those things can be true at once, and that’s the strange alchemy of creating something. Pre-orders are open, and stay tuned for the title and cover reveal!

Can you guess the MMC of the next book in the Hidden Truths series? Leave it in the comments, and for the people guessing correctly, I’ll have a special treat.

I’ve been thinking about what I want these books to be, at their core, and I keep coming back to this:

That’s the invitation.

Not perfect love or safe love, but the kind that sees the sharpest parts of you and stays anyway. Love that doesn’t ask you to shrink. Characters who choose each other through the pain and the scars and the mistakes, not despite them.

If that’s what you’re hungry for, you’re in the right place.

Thank you for being here, for reading, for caring about these characters and this world I’m building. On the hard weeks and the good ones, knowing you’re out there makes it matter.

And fresh news, The Code We Break hit 12000 pages read in a month for the first time! Those are hours you chose to spend with this story, these characters, instead of doing something else. I don’t take that lightly, and I appreciate you and your time.

Also, please share it with your friends! ;) Vivien and Maddox need to meet more people!

If this newsletter made you feel something, I’d love to hear from you. Reply and tell me what landed, or share it with someone who needs to hear that the cruel voices aren’t the ones that count. And if you haven’t read The Code We Break yet, the book is waiting for you on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited. Come meet Vivien and Maddox and lose a little sleep.

Nicky xox

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The messages have been wild and warmed up my Grinch heart.

“This reads like Dan Brown but with the emotional intelligence of a woman.”

“It’s giving 90s thriller vibes, like The Net, but someone actually remembered to add sexual tension.”

“Finally, spice that doesn’t forget it needs a plot.”

One reader said she kept reading in the car, waiting for her kids to get out of practice. Another was late to a work call. Someone’s husband asked if she was okay because she gasped loudly when Maddox and Vivien finally connected. (wink wink)

This is what happens when you write a book for women who grew up on action movies but wanted the hero to pin someone against a wall for different reasons. When you create a fraud analyst who can decrypt files AND emotional damage. When your male lead is lethal with a knife but even more dangerous with the words “good girl.”

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The Code We Break isn’t like other dark romances because it blends several genres. Which makes it a nightmare to market, by the way. It’s a legitimate thriller that understands that tension comes in many forms, and the best ones leave you breathless. It has the dark romance elements that we all love, the obsession, the hot and emotionally wounded stalker falling in love with the competent heroine while she’s trying to save herself.

Readers are staying up until 3 AM not just for the “will they or won’t they” but for the “will she survive this” and “who’s behind the conspiracy” and “wait, WHAT just happened?” They’re coming for the romance and staying for the knife fights. Or maybe it’s the other way around. Honestly, at this point, they’re so tangled together it doesn’t matter.

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But here’s why I’m really writing this post. Somewhere out there is a woman who needs this exact book. She’s tired of romance novels that treat plot like an afterthought. She’s bored with thrillers that forget women have desires beyond survival. She wants complexity. She wants a story that respects her intelligence while also understanding that sometimes she just wants someone else to be in charge.

She’s your friend who keeps a color-coded calendar but bookmarks unhinged TikToks. She’s your coworker who runs meetings like a Fortune 500 CEO but reads fanfiction on her lunch break. She’s the woman in your group chat who can quote both ACOTAR and Pride and Prejudice.

The readers who’ve found The Code We Break get it. They’re messaging me about the tech accuracy AND the consent dynamics. They’re highlighting surveillance tactics AND intimate moments where Vivien finally lets her guard down. They understand that “You’re mine” hits different when the man saying it just took a bullet for you.

So this isn’t about pity marketing. This is about connecting the right readers with their next obsession. Yes, also you’d be helping an indie author wearing too many hats at the same time. I need to focus on editing book 2 (more news coming soon!!), so your help will be invaluable to keep my brain on the next story and not on how to create TikTok videos that only my dogs watch.

You know that person who complained that romantasy is too much spice, not enough stakes? (she needs help) Who wishes someone would write a book where the morally gray man actually has blood on his hands for legitimate reasons? Who wants corporate espionage with their sexual tension?

Tell them. Tell them about the book that made you cancel plans. Tell them there’s a story where Excel sheets matter as much as heartbeats, where knowing seventeen ways to kill someone doesn’t mean you can’t be tender, where “I’ll always come for you” is both a promise and a threat.

Because 17000 pages read tells me something important, this story works. The corporate thriller meets dark romance angle? It’s not a gimmick. It’s what happens when you trust your audience to be smart enough to want both.

Yesterday was my highest reading day ever. But somewhere out there is a reader who hasn’t found Vivien and Maddox yet. She’s downloading her fifth “just okay” book this month, wondering why no one writes for women like her. Women who want complexity, who understand that power and surrender aren’t opposites but dance partners.

She needs you to tell her this book exists.

Not because I asked you to. But because you remember how it felt when Maddox said “Breathe” for the first time. Because you know what happens in that safehouse. Because you understand why Vivien’s expertise matters as much as her heart.

The strangers shouting about my book in Texas and Switzerland found it because someone, somewhere, understood the assignment and shared it.

Now I’m asking you to be that someone for another reader.

Your group chat is full of women who need this book. Trust me on this. Trust yourself on this. I’ll be forever grateful, and on that note, I opened my street team for the first time. You’ll get access to ARC of Book 2, a preview of artwork, snippets of work in progress, and bookish gifts, as I’m a reader before I became an author, and I love books, not just mine. Check out the link and see if it’s something you're interested in.

Time to let more people know you found a story for them. 🖤

Nicky xox

P.S. My paid subscribers have access to the first two chapters of a new spin-off series, a motorcycle club romance with plenty of spice and grit. I’ll keep adding new chapters as I write them, so keep in mind they’re rough drafts.

I’m sitting here after midnight, wearing my comfiest sweater, staring at numbers that simultaneously make me want to celebrate and cry. Every milestone feels both massive and minuscule at the same time.

Let me tell you what one month of my book baby in the world actually looked like. Keep in mind, I’m an unreliable narrator as I’m biased. Obviously.

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What Readers Are Actually Saying

Before we dive into the messy middle, let’s start with what matters most. The readers who GET IT.

One reader called it “a dark romance unlike anything I’ve ever read before” and “genre-bending in the best way.” Another said they “almost used a PTO day, and honestly I kinda regret not.” That’s the energy I needed.

My favorite review pointed out that Mads is “absolutely obsessed and Viv actually stays mad for more than 2 seconds” because yes, she’s not here for the BS, she’s here for respect AND obsession. We can have both. We deserve both.

Someone said the tech elements were so intense they thought their phone was “about to explode from all that hacking and sneaking around.” Another mentioned, “You can feel the sparks popping off the screen even when they’re arguing about passwords and firewalls.”

This is what I wanted. A DEEP romance where he shows weakness only to her. Where she sees exactly who he is (surveillance, violence, broken edges) and chooses him anyway. Not to fix him, to exist with him in all that beautiful damage.

“Maddox’s intensity is just fantastic!” one reader wrote. Another gave it “5 outta 5 catfish!” which might be my favorite rating system ever.

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The Actual Numbers (Because Transparency Matters)

30 days. Here’s what happened.

• 64 books sold

• 15,115 KENP pages read on Kindle Unlimited

• Countless hours of me refreshing my KDP dashboard like a woman possessed

For a debut author with little to no followers? These numbers are solid. Hell, they’re good. I know this intellectually. My brain understands that 64 people spending actual money on my words is incredible. That 15,000+ pages read means people aren’t just buying. They’re READING.

But here’s the thing about being human. Knowing something intellectually and feeling it in your bones are two different beasts.

Are these good results? Are these bad? I have no clue.

Each person has a different experience and starting point, and this is all the data I can use for my next release. Said that, it’s easy to be discouraged in the social media environment, but I can’t avoid it as I have to… gasp… market this Scandal x The Night Agent mashup for corporate baddies looking for a mental thrill.

Launch Day (The Anticlimax Nobody Talks About)

Let me tell you about launch day. October 10th, 2025. The day everything changed and nothing changed.

I woke up, checked that my book was live on Amazon, and then... I went to work. Like every other Friday. I sat in meetings. I answered emails. I made small talk, sipping my third coffee while internally screaming, “MY BOOK IS IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW.”

The world kept spinning. Nobody at work knew that while I was losing my patience on spreadsheets, strangers on the internet were meeting Vivien and Maddox for the first time. Life continued its regular programming while I was having an entire existential crisis in business casual.

That’s the weird paradox of publishing your first book. Everything inside you has shifted, rearranged, exploded into something new. But outside? You still have to buy groceries. You still have deadlines. The universe doesn’t pause to acknowledge that you just did The Thing you’ve been dreaming about.

Everything changed. Nothing changed. Both things are true at once.

It’s the Schrödinger of an author debuting.

What I Tried (The Good, The Bad, The “Why Did I Do That?”)

The Goodreads Giveaway Experiment

I ran a giveaway for 100 ebooks. The results? More than 1000 people added The Code We Break to their “want to read” shelf, which looks pretty on paper. But it led to exactly one review. One.

Honest assessment? I think this tool is more useful if you run it alongside ARCs and a huge campaign BEFORE launch. Running it after felt like shouting into a very elegant void. Lesson learned.

Other authors suggested running it regularly, but giving only one week for signups. Their experience was different from mine, and that’s why there isn’t a simple recipe for success. We fumble our way through this big adventure.

The TikTok Hustle

I’ve been making videos. Trying to be genuine while also, you know, desperately wanting people to read my book. It’s this weird dance of “Hey, I’m just a normal person who happens to have written this book about a man who watches a woman through security cameras, and please don’t think I’m weird, but also please read it.”

None of my videos hit. Some videos made me question every life choice that led me to make faces in my apartment for strangers on the internet.

I met some great people in a short amount of time, and one thing that worked and led to more books in front of new readers has been… genuine connection. Yes, roll your eyes as much as you want, but there is no gimmick besides getting to know people and allowing them to know you.

I have four lovely people asking to join my Street Time after they read my book. And it all started with a comment under their videos.

The Social Media Marathon

Threads, Instagram, TikTok, newsletter. I’m everywhere, trying to be authentic and vulnerable, and also professional and slightly sassy, because that’s apparently my brand now.

The Emotional Tsunami (Or The Part Where I Get Really Honest)

This month broke me and rebuilt me about seventeen times.

I’m hustling hard while working full-time. I traveled for work the week after launch, got sick (because of course), and had a bout of imposter syndrome so severe it completely blocked me from working on book 2.

There were days I’d check my sales and feel like a real author. Then five minutes later, I’d see another author’s success, and suddenly I was a fraud who accidentally typed 152,000 words and tricked 64 people into reading them.

The mental gymnastics of being grateful for every single reader while also desperately wanting more is exhausting. You feel greedy for wanting more. You feel ungrateful for not being satisfied. You feel everything and nothing, and usually both before your morning coffee.

What This Book Actually Means to Me

Through all the noise, the numbers, the comparison trap, I stand by The Code We Break.

I love writing strong men who are also fragile. Men who build empires but can’t figure out how to say “I love you” without their hands shaking. Men who’d burn the world down for one person but can’t believe they deserve that person’s love in return.

I love writing about fragile women who are also strong. Women who can uncover billion-dollar fraud but still need someone to tell them they’re doing enough. Women who swim at 6 am because it’s the only time they have to quiet their busy minds.

Vivien and Maddox are everything I wanted them to be. Messy, complicated, a little broken, but choosing each other anyway. Not despite the damage, but through it.

The Truth About Month One

Here’s what they don’t tell you about your first month as a published author.

You’ll refresh your sales dashboard more than you check Instagram. You’ll memorize which friends haven’t mentioned your book yet. You’ll screenshot every review and also convince yourself they’re all lying. You’ll feel like you’re bothering people by talking about your book and also like you’re not promoting it enough.

You’ll write “published author” in your bio and immediately delete it because who are you kidding, 64 sales doesn’t make you a real author. (Except it does. It absolutely does. I’m working on believing this.)

What Happens Next

Book 2 is sitting there, waiting for me to stop being scared of it. The imposter syndrome tells me I got lucky once. That I can’t do it again. That everyone who liked book 1 will hate book 2.

But here’s the thing. 64 people chose my vibes. 15,000+ pages were read. Real humans in the real world are having real feelings about Vivien and Maddox.

So I’m going to keep writing. Keep posting. Keep being vulnerable and slightly awkward on the internet, because somewhere out there is reader #65, and they need a book about a woman who says “You don’t scare me” to a man covered in blood from protecting her.

I’m building a small Street Team for readers who loved The Code We Break. The ones still thinking about Maddox, Vivien, and that safe house scene 👀

If you crave morally grey men, complex women, and worlds that hurt a little before they heal… this might be your sign.

Early access, secret snippets, and maybe a signed book or two for my most loyal chaos crew.

Only about 10 spots.

💻 Click here to apply.

🖤 For readers who fell for Maddox, stayed for Vivien, and want to be part of what comes next.

The Bottom Line

One month. 64 books. 15,115 pages. Countless moments of doubt. Even more moments of pure, ridiculous joy.

Turns out, that’s precisely what being an indie author is: choosing to keep going through the mess, not waiting for it to get clean.

To everyone who bought, read, reviewed, or even just added The Code We Break to their TBR, you gave my non-traditional little surveillance romance a chance, and I’m grateful in ways I don’t have words for. (Ironic for a writer, I know.)

Month two starts now. Let’s see what happens when we stop apologizing for wanting more.

Nicky xox

The Code We Break is available on Kindle Unlimited. Yes, I’m ending this vulnerable blog post with a sales pitch. That’s growth, baby.

But maybe I’ve been looking at this the wrong way.

Last week, a reader in Germany shared my book, The Code We Break, to her 2,000 followers. A woman in Texas convinced her entire book club to grab my thrilling romance mashup of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo meets Scandal and has a very consensual baby with YOU. Someone I’ve exchanged exactly 4 DMs with wrote a review so thoughtful that I screenshot it to read on the bad days.

Meanwhile, some of my oldest friends still ask if I’m “still doing that writing thing.”

Here’s what nobody tells you about chasing a dream that requires an audience. The people who show up first are rarely the ones you expect. Your college roommate who swore you’d be famous? Silent. That coworker who always said you were talented? Hasn’t opened your newsletter once (and still stays subscribed!!). But that stranger who found you through a random hashtag at 2 AM? She’s already pre-ordered your next book. (thank you strangers!!)

The math of support looks different when you’re building something from nothing.

Buying the ebook? That’s coffee for a day.

Reading on Kindle Unlimited? Those page reads add up to groceries.

That Substack subscription? It says, “I believe this matters.”

Sharing a post? Zero effort, infinite impact.

Subscribe now

Every repost lands in front of eyes I could never reach alone. Every “you need to read this” comment plants a seed. Every screenshot shared in a group chat creates a ripple I can’t track but desperately need.

I’m building something wild here. Not just books but a whole ecosystem of stories about women who’ve forgotten how to let themselves be seen. About the kind of love that grows in the spaces between what we show the world and who we are at 3 AM. About finding safety in the last place you’d look for it.

The people joining my street team get this. They’re not just readers anymore. They’re co-conspirators in this beautiful, messy experiment of turning vulnerability into art. They see Vivien’s corporate exhaustion and recognize their own. They watch Maddox’s dangerous devotion and think, “finally, someone who gets that protection can be its own kind of worship.”

So yeah, there’s still that bruise on my heart. The one shaped like all the people I thought would be here. But there’s something else growing around it now. This wild, unexpected garden of humans who were strangers six months ago and now feel more like home than home does.

The Uncomfortable Truth My Life Coach Called Out

“Maybe they don’t know how to celebrate you because they don’t know how to celebrate themselves.”

She said it casually, like she wasn’t just cracking open my entire worldview. Suddenly, everything made sense. The awkward silence when I share wins. The subject changes when I talk about my dreams. The “must be nice” comments that sting worse than outright rejection.

We live in a culture that’s forgotten how to celebrate. We’ve been taught that acknowledging success is bragging, that dreams are for other people, that playing small keeps us safe. So when someone in our orbit starts reaching, starts building, starts refusing to shrink? We literally don’t have the vocabulary for it.

My friends who can’t share my posts? They’re drowning in their own unspoken dreams. My family, who changes the subject? They’re protecting themselves from wanting what they’ve been told they can’t have. The silence isn’t about me. It never was.

But here’s what breaks my heart and fills it at the same time. The strangers who champion my work? They’re the ones who’ve already learned to celebrate themselves. They’ve done the work to believe their own dreams matter. They recognize hunger because they’ve fed their own.

So maybe the real revolution isn’t just finding our tribe. Maybe it’s becoming the kind of people who can celebrate wildly, loudly, shamelessly. Maybe we need to model what it looks like to cheer for someone else’s dream so hard that others remember they’re allowed to dream too.

I’m learning to celebrate myself first. To share my wins without apology. To take up space with my joy. Because every time I do, I give someone else permission to do the same. And slowly, tentatively, some of those silent supporters are finding their voices.

That’s how cultures change. One shared post, one celebration, one “holy shit look what my friend made” at a time.

Share

Some readers send me messages about how a scene made them forget to eat lunch. They tag me in posts about toxic workplaces with “this is very Vivien-coded.” They create gorgeous edits I never asked for. They’re turning my characters into their characters, my world into our world.

Maybe that’s the real plot twist. The family you find isn’t always the family you started with. Sometimes your people are scattered across time zones, connected only by the belief that stories matter, that the mess matters, that showing up for someone’s dream matters even when you’ve never shared the same air.

And I love found family as a trope! How surprising ;)

If you’re reading this and you’ve ever shared my work, left a review, sent a DM about a scene that wrecked you, or simply read my words when you could have scrolled past, you’re not a stranger anymore. You’re part of this. You’re the reason I can keep going when the weight of obscurity feels crushing.

To those thinking about supporting an indie author, any indie author, not just me, that share you’re hesitating over? Do it. That review you keep meaning to write? Today’s the day. That subscription you’re considering? It’s someone’s proof that their work has worth. (Thank you, Wendy, for all eternity!)

We’re out here building dreams one reader at a time, one share at a time, one “holy shit you have to read this” at a time.

Welcome to my street team. Even if you don’t know you’re on it yet.

The Evidence (Because Sometimes You Need to See It to Believe It)

These screenshots? They live in a folder on my desktop labeled “For The Bad Days.” Each one represents someone who took time out of their life to say, “This mattered to me.” That’s the currency indie authors run on.

The Street Team Manifesto

If you want to join this beautiful mess officially, here’s what it looks like to be on my street team.

The Fun Stuff

• Early access to chapters, artwork and cover reveals

• Your name in the acknowledgments (yes, really)

• Behind-the-scenes content that’s too messy for public consumption

• Direct line to me for all your “BUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?” screaming

The Real Talk - You don’t have to do anything. Seriously. Some street team members just comment on posts and enjoy the company. Others become my unofficial marketing department. Both are perfect. This is about connection, not obligation.

The Practical Magic (AKA How to Actually Help)

For those ready to be accomplices in this writer's life, here’s what changes everything.

The Free Stuff That Matters

• Follow on Goodreads, Amazon, or BookBub because algorithms love this

• Add my books to your TBR publicly since visibility matters

• Share posts when they resonate because your audience trusts you

• Leave honest reviews since even short ones feed the beast

The Investment Level

• Substack subscription means $5/month for all the words, all the time

• Buy the ebook to support directly and own it forever

• Read on KU because those page reads compound into actual money

• Gift to a friend to spread the addiction

P.S. The Thing I Almost Didn’t Say

To my family and IRL friends reading this, I see you trying. I know this writer thing feels foreign, like I’ve joined a cult that worships fictional people and coffee. I know sharing my “sex scenes and violence” books with your friends feels complicated. I get it. You’re supporting me in the ways you know how, and that matters too.

But also, if you could just share the damn post occasionally? That’d be cool.

What about you? Who showed up for your dreams when you least expected it? Hit reply and tell me about the stranger who became your champion. I read every single email, especially the ones that make me ugly cry into my coffee.

Nicky xox