Notes from Nicole

The Eldest Daughter’s Guide to a Softer Life

Nicole Jizhar — Thu, 03 Sep 2026 00:21:57 GMT

Being capable of carrying something doesn’t mean it’s yours to carry.

If you know me, you would know that I’m a Type A+++++ eldest daughter.

That comes with spending most of my life being very good at making things (or rather, making anything) work :)

I was exceptionally good at school. Good at work. Good at planning. Good at anticipating what people need. Good at preparing a Plan B before anyone else even noticed I already had a Plan A… Haha…

And it fared really well for me, for the most part.

It got me into an Ivy League for college, a world-class bank for my first job, and a lot of rooms that I could only wish to be in at my age.

But you know what nobody tells you about being the reliable one?

Once people know you can carry something, they stop asking whether you should. Eventually, you stop asking too. And it becomes your default assumption.

I became quietly responsible for delivering at 200%, remembering everything, anticipating what people needed before they said it, making the right decision, and fixing problems like it was my full-time job.

But sometimes the same things that helped me build my career are the same things that get exhausting when you're building… a life!

So here are the shifts I’ve made to live a softer life, eldest daughter style.

For anyone new here, this is Notes from Nicole, my Substack where I write about leadership, range, and life as a modern multi-hyphenate. You can also find me on Instagram @nicolejizhar. Subscribe for more from me. Now let’s get into it.

Shift 1: Control → Trust

The eldest daughter’s operating belief is I need to make sure everything turns out okay. The softer version is I trust myself to handle what happens.

The first one requires you to try to control the outcome (you can’t), while the other just asks you to trust the process. Figure out what’s in your control and what isn’t. And for those that aren’t, take notes from Elsa and LET IT GO.

In your control:

How you communicate
How much effort you put in
The decisions you make
The boundaries you set
How you respond

Not in your control:

Whether someone understands you
Whether someone likes your decision
How someone else behaves
When an opportunity comes
What happens next

Shift 2: Responsibilities → Boundaries

This took me a long time because I felt guilty for setting firm boundaries.

When you’re capable, the line between I can handle this and I should handle this starts to blur. Most eldest daughters jump straight from I can to I will do it, without ever asking themselves why.

So now, before saying yes, ask these three questions.

Can I?
Do I actually have the capacity, or am I saying yes on the assumption that I’ll find it somewhere?
Should I?
Is this actually my responsibility, or is it just something I’m capable of taking on?
Do I want to?
Would I still choose this if I didn’t feel guilty saying no?

Shift 3: Achievement → Alignment

Maybe the reason so many eldest daughters struggle to build a softer life is that we’re reallyyyy good at building lives that look successful. Hey, we’re natural overachievers.

But that makes us vulnerable to the achievement trap. We get so good at things that we stop asking if it's actually something we want.

Achievement asks:

What should I do?
What would make me successful?
What’s the next goal?
How do I optimize this?

Alignment asks:

What do I want?
What would make my life meaningful?
What do I want more of?
Do I even want this?

Shift 4: Anticipating → Asking

Eldest daughters can lowkey be the best mind readers. We anticipate what people need before they say it.

It feels like care. But it can get exhausting when you’re constantly thinking about everyone else’s needs, that they maybe didn’t even ask you to worry about.

What anticipating looks like:

Guessing what someone needs
Fixing something before being asked
Assuming silence means something
Trying to prevent someone’s disappointment
Solving a problem before they’ve had a chance to solve it

What asking sounds like:

“Is there anything you want help with?”
“Are you upset, or am I reading into it?”
“Do you want advice, or do you just want me to listen?”
“What do you need from me?”
“What do I need from you?” (and actually waiting for the answer!!)

Shift 5: Giving → Receiving

I love being the person who gives. The one who remembers birthdays, who organizes dinners, who asks do you need anything?

But receiving is a different muscle, and I still struggle a lot with it. Even receiving a genuine compliment can make me feel super awkward.

When you’re used to taking care of others, being taken care of can feel strange. You might say “I’m fine” when you’re not, rejecting help because it’s faster to just do it yourself, or immediately panicking when someone does something for you because you need to find a way to reciprocate.

So here are ways to practice receiving without feeling like you need to even the score. It’s okay to accept care and attention!

Ways to receive:

Accept compliments without deflecting
Let other people do things for you (make reservations, open the door, carry your bag)
Say “yes” to things you would normally insist on doing yourself
Ask for help before you’re overwhelmed
Say what you need (instead of “I’m fine”)
Accept generosity without keeping score
Tell people when you’re struggling

Shift 6: Optimizing → Enjoying

When you’ve spent years optimizing your life, it’s easy to turn everything into a project. The perfect morning routine. The most efficient & effective workout. The most raved restaurant and best meal. The most packed travel itinerary.

I’m super guilty of this. Even during my 3-month sabbatical from work last year, I felt like even my time off was something I had to optimize.

As rare as they are, sometimes the best (and ironically productive) weekends are the ones where I do nothing. Like literally just rot on the sofa.

What optimizing looks like:

Turning a hobby into something you have to be good at
Planning every hour of a trip so nothing is wasted
Creating a routine so your mornings feel productive
Choosing the “best” restaurant instead of the one you feel like eating at
Tracking how often you do something instead of whether you enjoy it

What enjoying looks like:

Continuing a hobby you’re bad at just because you like it
Leaving hours of a trip completely unplanned
Having a morning with no structure because you want to chill
Choosing the restaurant you’re craving instead of the one you’ve researched to have the best reviews
Doing something because you enjoy it, not because you’re consistent at it

A softer life isn’t a smaller life

Ok, but let’s be real. I’m still type A. I still like controlling the plans. I haven’t stopped being capable and I don’t plan to. Old habits die hard.

But I’ve also started becoming more and more conscious of adding softness into my life, finding a balance between my my instinct to take responsibility and all the things I really care about.

I would argue that a softer life isn’t about becoming less ambitious, less responsible, or less driven.

It’s about knowing when to control and when to trust. When to carry and when to let go. When to achieve and when to ask whether you actually want it.

So here’s a reminder to my fellow eldest daughters, to actually enjoy the life you’ve worked so hard to build <3

If you know an eldest daughter, send this to her to remind her of that too.

The Bangkok List: Where to Eat, Shop and Stay

Nicole Jizhar — Tue, 25 Aug 2026 05:56:58 GMT

Thailand is an easy destination choice for delicious food and great shopping. I’ve been several times now. On earlier visits, we did all the touristy things (listed at the bottom), but this trip we skipped most of the tourist attractions and just went back to the comfort places that we love and return to time and time again.

Bangkok’s just a 3.5 flight from Jakarta, and a family-friendly destination that’s easy to do for a group of ten people. We stayed on the river for the first time, at the Four Seasons at Chao Phraya River. We usually stay in the city center so that it’s easy to get everywhere (since the traffic is so bad!) but this time we wanted a change of scene and decided to stay on the river, which was beautiful, especially at night with the lit up Bangkok skyline. But with Bangkok’s traffic being arguably worse than it is here in Jakarta, we didn’t go out and about as much as we usually do because it was further away from all the stuff in the city, so we mostly stayed in our own area and took the boat to ICONSIAM rather than spending the whole day in a car.

We also spent the back half of the trip on the islands: four nights in Bangkok, then three each in Koh Samui and Krabi. See more in my vlog here…

For anyone new here, this is Notes from Nicole, my Substack where I write about leadership, range, and life as a modern multi-hyphenate, plus the city guides and recommendations I share along the way. See other curated lists for my favorite cities here: The Lists.

You can also find me on Instagram @nicolejizhar. Now let’s get into it.

Where We Stayed

Four Seasons Bangkok at Chao Phraya River: I’d been before for drinks at BKK Social Club, the hotel’s bar, which has held the No. 1 spot in Thailand on Asia’s 50 Best Bars since 2023 (No. 3 in Asia that year), but this was the first time actually staying. The building is a Jean-Michel Gathy design, all cascading terraces and glass down to the water, and the service was impeccable. Breakfast was also a treat. The riverside walks at night were also a great way to end most days there. The tradeoff is that you are not near the center, so it was quite a hassle to get into town with a car. On the bright side, the hotel has its own boat service between the hotel, ICONSIAM and the riverside piers.

The Other Islands

Krabi: Krabi is an island on the west coast of Thailand, with quieter beaches, hidden caves and limestone karsts. A peaceful escape from the busy Bangkok bustle. We stayed at Phulay Bay, the world’s first Ritz-Carlton Reserve property (Mandapa in Ubud is the third!). Thai architect Lek Bunnag designed it with its grand pavilions and tall aubergine walls. The Moorish and Moroccan influences are stunning, a nod to Krabi’s Muslim heritage: white walls, domed ceilings, keyhole doorways, oversized lanterns. The food, decor, service and architecture were incredible.

Koh Samui: Koh Samui is a larger and more developed resort island (compared to Krabi) and located in Southern Thailand. We had a few memorable meals, since Southern Thai cooking is quite distinct with its turmeric-heavy, fiercely spicy, shaped by the proximity to Malaysia and Indonesia. A highlight was Long Dtai, chef David Thompson’s southern Thai restaurant on Cape Fahn Hotel’s own private island (you get there by a short ride on a truck-turned-boat), and all the dishes were super hot. We also had a great lunch at Kapi Sator, a Michelin Bib Gourmand named for sator, the pungent stink bean that runs through the menu. And spent at afternoon at Salt Society, the beachfront restaurant at Centara Reserve Samui.

Now back to Bangkok…

Bangkok Food

Bangkok is one of the best food cities in Southeast Asia. In the same week you can eat standing up at a canal-side noodle stall, then sit down for a fancy meal at a restaurant with three Michelin stars. Here are some of my favorite spots, especially for some classics like boat noodles, green curry, and pad thai!

Sri Trat (Sukhumvit 33): Eastern Thai food from Trat province, down near the Cambodian border, which is a regional cuisine you almost never see outside Thailand. Michelin Bib Gourmand, opened in 2017 by a husband-and-wife team cooking from his mother’s recipes. Menu highlights include the Thai appetizer platter, betel leaf wrap, stir-fried chicken thigh with Siam cardamom, pan-fried patty of minced pork and salted king mackerel, stir-fried glass noodles with pork and cha-om, and lon pu kai, a coconut-milk crab dip served with a basket of raw vegetables.

Charmgang (Talat Noi): My favorite meal of the trip. A Michelin Bib Gourmand curry house opened by three young chefs who all came out of Nahm, David Thompson’s restaurant. The menu changes monthly. We ate at their pop-up at Baan Trok Tua Ngork. Favorites were the pomelo salad, sugar cane smoked pork jowl salad, beef cheek Massaman Curry.
Thong Smith: The best boat noodles. The broth is simmered for hours with galangal, star anise, lemongrass and pickled garlic. The wagyu beef options include Australian wagyu ribeye, oyster blade or chuck, around 530 to 730 baht a bowl. Branches all over the city, including ICONSIAM and Siam Paragon.
Kungthong Seafood (Rama 4): Thai-style seafood. The owner’s family is one of the biggest seafood suppliers in Bangkok, which explains why everything was super fresh. Menu highlights include the tom yum, steamed spicy lime squid, salt-fried river prawns, the oyster omelette, gaeng som fish, crab with curry powder.
Jay Fai (Phra Nakhon): One Michelin star street food for crab omelette. Quite pricy at around 1,000 baht. No walk-in reservations: you write your name on a list by the entrance, and people start queuing around 7am for a 9am open.
Kuay Jab Mr. Joe (Chan Road): Three generations in, Michelin Bib Gourmand, crispy pork belly. Rolled rice noodles in a clear, aggressively peppery broth with tasty pork belly.
Riva del Fiume (at the Four Seasons): The hotel’s Italian restaurant. After a few days of Thai food and a lot of traffic, being able to walk downstairs for pasta was a nice change of pace.
Baan Tepa: Two Michelin stars, farm-to-table, run by Chef Chudaree “Tam” Debhakam, the first Thai woman to earn two stars and Asia’s Best Female Chef in 2025. It’s in her family’s home in Ramkhamhaeng with a garden tour built into the meal. I went here with a group of friends on my last visit here.
The other famous spots that are on my list for next time:
- Sorn: Thailand’s first three-Michelin-star restaurant, and it’s southern Thai. Off Sukhumvit Soi 26. Reservations open on the 15th of each month for the following month and sell out in under a minute, so this is one to plan around rather than book on a whim.
- Sühring: Twin German chefs Thomas and Mathias Sühring, just promoted to three Michelin stars this year, making 2026 the first time Bangkok’s held two three-star restaurants at once. Set in a leafy residential lane, can be booked up to 60 days out.
- Gaggan: The legendary progressive Indian tasting menu and still one of the hardest tables in the city, running a lottery-style booking system rather than first-come reservations.
ICONSIAM: Worth naming as a food destination and not just a mall. SookSiam on the ground floor is a permanent indoor floating market with vendors from all 77 Thai provinces, real water channels, boat-shaped stalls, the whole thing. It’s touristy but we always go because it’s so complete. Thipsamai, probably the most famous pad thai in Bangkok, has an outpost on the sixth floor.
Thai Tea (Pang Cha, Cha Tra Mue): Thai iced tea is its own category and these are the two options are the most famous ones in town. They both have multiple locations throughout the city. Pang Cha is the dessert version, Thai tea shaved ice and bingsu, an offshoot of the Luk Kai Thong restaurant group. Cha Tra Mue is the classic, the ubiquitous orange-branded Thai tea you’ll see everywhere.

🔒 The Recs I Only Share With My Friends…

Paid subscribers get the rest of this guide, including more exclusive paid-only city guides like:

And all the other cities

You get the full archive, every city guide, and deep dives on all my lessons. For less than one coffee a month <3

What Makes You the Happiest?

Wed, 19 Aug 2026 13:44:15 GMT

I was at church last Sunday when the homily opened with this question:

“What makes you the happiest?”

I know I don’t start a lot of my reflections with a moment from church. Granted, I barely talk about religion much in general. But in times when I don’t know what’s next, frankly, my faith has consistently played a large role in giving me the comfort and guidance that I've needed. And so the priest kept repeating that question to start his homily: What makes you happiest?

What made me the happiest?

You’d think that someone like me would have it all figured out. I won’t minimize my privilege, I have so much to be grateful for.

I have a loving family who has supported me through and through. I have a support system that has my back. I have the most amazing husband. I have a house that feels like a home. I have gone to some of the best schools in the world and worked at some of the best companies in the world. I have traveled to every corner of the world since I was a kid, and also have friends in almost every country I visit. What else could I ask for?

But if you know me, you would know that I’m an optimizer (and over-analyzer) in every sense of the word.

So even when it comes to things like happiness, I’ve always wondered, how can I optimize it too?

So I did a happiness audit

I recently got coffee with a mentee and she asked me “has there ever been a time when it looked like you had it all figured out, but inside you were struggling?”

It was a good question. I responded to her: Haven’t we all?

Just because it looks like you have all your accolades, achievements, ticked all the right boxes, let alone have an Instagram feed full of things that others would want… Does that mean you have it all figured out?

When I went home from meeting her, I thought more about what she asked. I even ended up recording a few TikTok yaps in response to it too (lol).

I thought back on all the moments I’d genuinely call the happiest.

It’s not necessarily the stuff you see on the highlight reel (aka social media).

Usually, it’s the slow mornings on the weekends when I can linger a little bit longer in bed, with light peering through the windows already, and waking up to a satisfying and big breakfast. For me, I love a thick, chewy slice of sourdough, drizzled generously with olive oil, and sprinkled with salt flakes, with a side of eggs (cooked perfectly with a runny yolk), some fruit, a piping hot cup of vanilla-infused coffee (or matcha). Or a long summer night dinner, al fresco, on the sidewalk, with copious amounts of riesling and endless laughter. Or a mindless stroll around a neighborhood of town with a friend, or along the river with my partner, aimlessly wandering and getting lost in a conversation. Or road tripping with my family, and sitting in the back seat of the car, staring out of the window, feet up in the car seat, and singing my heart out to whatever is on the radio (to everyone’s annoyance).

All the in between moments. Not the big highlight ones.

When was the last time you appreciated something like that?

Subscribe to Notes from Nicole.

The World Happiness Index

I was actually in Scandinavia last month for my honeymoon, and one thing I was curious about was how the Scandinavians consistently ranked among the happiest countries in the world.

I had spent my entire life living in some of the busiest, most chaotic cities in the world. I had worked in New York, lived in London, and now am back where I grew up, Jakarta (in case you didn’t know, Jakarta is a sprawling mega-city that recently overtook Tokyo as the most populated in the world).

So I wanted a reprieve from the busy life and craved something a little bit slower and more… human.

Habits of the world’s happiest people

Despite the long, dark winters (someone we met in Copenhagen told us that they only get 1 hour of sunlight in the winter), and the insane taxes that made daily purchases feel expensive, the Scandinavians are the happiest in the world.

Of course, just by the way they’re governed, they’re already winning on a lot of fronts. Some of the lowest corruption in the world, low inequality, high safety, incredible and free health care and education.

But beneath all of that, I think the biggest factor is the way of life that they’ve all embraced.

When I was there, I saw that people lived. Like really lived.

People weren’t just rushing for the next thing. They were more present. They were lingering over coffee, and protecting time for it (Fika). They were biking everywhere; when we were walking around during rush hour, we noticed it wasn’t a rush of cars, but a street full of bicycles. People in their work clothes (looking fantastic and sharp as ever) while whizzing through the city on their bikes, some with their children coming home from school, some from the office, some heading to dinner. Not to mention all the people swimming in the harbor after work. People left the office before dinner time (without guilt) while the sun was out and golden and made the most out of their days. Not to mention the people who were about to check out for a month to go on their summer holidays, truly in OOO fashion.

And mind you, these were not unambitious people. Scandinavia has produced some of the world’s best design, food, and companies like Ikea, Lego, Spotify, Volvo, Maersk, Novo Nordisk…

But they seem to optimize something bigger than work. They optimize life.

What we’ve been told makes us happy

In all the places where I’ve lived and worked, it feels like being busy has become a part of our identity. I admit that I’ve been guilty of that too, as a chronic overachiever and eldest daughter.

We’ve replaced “Tell me about yourself” or “what hobbies do you enjoy doing?” with “what do you do for work?”

But what’s the point of being busy, if we crowd out space for living? For joy? For the little moments?

What I’ve come to learn from the happiest people in the world is that they refused to accept the story we’ve all been sold… That enjoying life comes only after you earn it later. After the hustle. Or the next promotion. Or once you’ve done enough (which is often never, as we keep moving the goal post further and further).

So, what makes me the happiest?

Not the awards, or the attention, or the accolades really. It really is the little in between moments. The slow weekend morning. The long dinners. The random strolls. The back seat of the car with my feet up, singing obnoxiously.

None of it is on a highlight reel. In fact, most of it is in the unplanned.

Which is exactly why what I’m craving more of is the awareness and presence to notice it when it’s happening.

To notice that I’m happy while I’m happy <3

Work-Life Balance Is a Lie (And What I Believe In Instead)

Nicole Jizhar — Sat, 15 Aug 2026 04:11:02 GMT

Before you come at me about hustle culture…

No, that’s not the direction I’m going.

I get asked all the time how I'm able to do it all, while still maintaining a high standard across all of it. When I post a DIML videos on my Instagram or TikTok, a lot of the comments say things like "man, I'm tired just from watching your day" and "your day looks like my whole week."

Granted, sometimes I do feel like I live a Hannah Montana double life. I have a lot of different hats…

I have my “9-5” (let’s be real, it extends beyond those hours) as an Executive Vice President at a multi-sector, multi-national company. I’ve built businesses on the side, like my women’s health startup, Nona Woman. In my spare time I create content for a combined audience of over 20,000 followers across Instagram, TikTok, Substack, YouTube, Linked In.

I take care of my health (fun fact, I’m a certified women’s holistic health coach) and make room for daily workouts. I keep up my social life, dinners with friends through the week, and usually a wedding, baby shower or birthday over my weekends.

And I definitely make time to travel a lot in between. Hey, I’m a Sagittarius, I can’t help it!

So with all the lives that I live, often within the same day, it’s not un-normal to see me making my way around the city with multiple bags, like this. I swear, sometimes when I make it to the office, I feel like I have enough bags for a family to take on a weekend trip somewhere!

Range > Balance

I’ve never once in my life achieved work-life balance, and I’ve stopped trying.

So instead of work-life balance, I say we embrace RANGE.

Range is refusing to pick a lane: An inspiring career and a life of pleasure, structure and creativity, matcha and wine…

Work-Life Balance: Splits everything into two categories (work vs. not work). The parts are competing for the same finite attention.
Range: Not two categories, but a repertoire. The parts compound, instead of competing.

These days, the people getting ahead are the ones who embrace a lot of different aspects of life. Not just balancing work and life, but multiple “works” and multiple “lives”. Maybe a day job and a side hustle on top. Maybe time with friends, time with a newborn, and (necessary) time for yourself. In a life with that many moving parts, balance isn't really possible.

For more on not having to pick a lane, I wrote a piece here:

So now what?

Believing in range is the easy part. Making it work in your (I’m sure very busy) life is where the work comes in.

So here are the seven rules I swear by that don’t include of work-life balance.

1. Insert Joy

You can’t rest your way out of burnout.

If you’re finding balance hard to achieve, chances are you’ve felt tired, defeated, maybe even burnt out. Trust me, I’ve been there.

I’ve tried every type of rest to snap out of it. Therapy, a solo trip to Bali, meditation. None of it worked. In fact, that solo weekend trip left me more in my head than anything! Lol.

What worked was adding something that filled my cup. Not just subtracting what took my energy, but adding what brought me joy.

What this looks like for me:

Content creation. On the outside it looks like more work. But it’s the thing that gives me energy, and something I look forward to daily. Not for the vanity metrics, but for the creativity.

Rest takes away what drains you. It can’t give you what fills you.

🔒 The Rest of My Hacks Are Below…

Paid subscribers get the rest of this post:

The full planning system that has changed my life
What I delegate (and the no-budget version of it)
How I batch my content/work to multiply my output

You also get the full archive, every city guide, and deep dives on all my lessons. For less than one coffee a month <3

Why "Pick a Lane" Is the Worst Advice Ambitious Women Get

Nicole Jizhar — Sun, 09 Aug 2026 02:51:42 GMT

Spoiler alert: You don’t need to pick a lane.

We’ve all heard it before… Choose one thing. Get really good at it. Don’t get distracted by trying to do too many things at once.

And for the longest time, it worked.

But that was in a different world. You joined a company, got really good at what you were doing, proved reliable, earned a promotion (or two or three), and kept working your way up. Specializing and getting really darn good at what you were doing helped you get promoted. People were loyal to their craft because they were rewarded for it.

The world we live in today is a very different place. Putting yourself in a lane doesn’t guarantee success like it used to. And forcing yourself to fit into a model that was made for the past can make you feel like the odd one out.

Or at least it did for me.

And I’m sure it does for a lot of other ambitious women too.

What’s Changed?

People don’t live straightforward, linear lives anymore. For better or for worse.

We’re expected to be good at our jobs, build our networks, maintain our relationships, take good care of our health, be in great shape, have interests outside of work, build a personal brand, and somehow find time to enjoy our lives in between. We’re trying to fit more into life than we ever have in the past.

Here are some women I follow who are actually doing it…

Jeanelle Teves, who spent a decade in leadership roles at Nike across Amsterdam and New York before becoming Chief Commercial Officer at Bugaboo, all while building Work Lunch, being the ultimate corporate creator, and being a children’s book author of Rover Starts Over on the side.
, who went from banking at Morgan Stanley to business school, tech, and startups, and now works in product marketing at a crypto company while building Nonlinear News.
Emma Grede, of course, who started in fashion and entertainment, moved into talent and entertainment marketing, founded ITB Worldwide, and went on to co-found Good American, become a founding partner and Chief Product Officer at SKIMS, co-found Safely, invest on Shark Tank, build a podcast and media platform of her own (Aspire with Emma Grede), and this year became a New York Times bestselling author with Start With Yourself.

Maybe you can relate. Maybe you’re a lawyer who wants to write a book. A doctor who creates content about wellness. A corporate leader who is also a mother, writer, or aspiring entrepreneur.

These days, the people getting ahead aren’t necessarily the ones who specialized the hardest. They’re usually the ones who have moved across disciplines, gathered a range of experiences, connected (seemingly unrelated) skills, and learned how to bring those things together in their own unique ways.

In a world that used to reward specialization, I would argue that it now increasingly rewards range.

Trying To Pick The “Real” Me

Here’s the side of the story that a lot of people don’t know about me…

The age-old advice of “picking a lane” left me insecure for the longest time.

I’m someone with a lot of interests (perhaps too many), with an uncontrollable curiosity and the drive to actually be good at all of them. A blessing and a curse.

I went to some of the world’s best business schools (Wharton and London Business School), built my own femtech startup (Nona), and worked at some of the biggest companies in the world (JPMorgan). Now, I have a full-time role as a corporate exec at my multinational, multi-industry family business (where I have a very professional, borderline stoic, hat on) but at the same time am a frequent speaker for panels and podcasts where I’m not afraid to get vulnerable. Two different personas. I make content for fun in my spare time. Advocate for the environmental and women in leadership. Am certified as a women’s holistic health coach, while also being certified with Level 3 for Wine and Spirits Education Trust (WSET). Ironic, I know. And I love playing an intense tennis match as much as I love eating gelato.

I used to feel super insecure about all the different sides to me, because it didn’t make sense. My version of life didn’t fit the cookie-cutter story.

Plus, I was embarrassed about the different hats I had too. At work, I would try to hide the fact that I had Nona (@nonawoman). Even though I would leave the office at 7:30pm to rush home to be ready for an IG Live Nona Chat video at 8:00pm. And if I were being completely honest, I still cringe when someone I know professionally tells me that they follow my social media.

I tried to compartmentalize the different sides to me. And I was ashamed to embrace all the other parts. There was the intense hardo at work, yet the fun and bubbly one when I step out of the office. I’m outgoing in some rooms and surprisingly shy in others. I can be the structured one in a business setting and the creative one in my personal life.

In an effort to “figure myself out,” I had an affinity for personality tests, because they would give me a clear prescription to understand myself. But sometimes personality frameworks made me feel more limited than understood. I held on to the “diagnoses” that I got from personality tests like Myers-Briggs and Enneagrams. Btw, I’m a 3w2 and I swing between an ISTJ and an ESTJ (in case you’re curious).

They’re useful tools for understanding ourselves, but I started to notice how easily a tool for self-understanding can become another box I started to force myself into.

I’m this type. This is who I am. This is what I do.

I was spending so much energy trying to figure out who I was that I wasn’t leaving enough room to simply be.

Life is too layered, multifaceted, and rich to be simplified to just one lane.

The Pressure To Figure It All Out

In my journey of “self-discovery,” in my 30s I realized that shrinking down to one lane made me smaller, not clearer.

The decade prior (i.e. my 20s) was full of searching for “the one” lane I was supposed to pick. Because we’re supposed to have it all figured out before we hit the ripe old age of 30, right? (sarcasm.)

The irony is, all the things I tried to trim out to reduce myself into a singular clear identity that was easy to explain or understand, were the very things that made me better at all the other things I was doing.

My experience building my own startup made me a better executive at my family business. On the flip side, my corporate experience shaped how I think about building things. Writing makes me think more clearly. Travel changes how I see the world and lead my teams. My curiosity makes me a better learner.

My different interests cross-pollinate in ways I couldn’t have planned if I’d spent my life trying to keep them in separate boxes.

And what I had mistaken for a lack of identity was actually a very full one.

The Case for Range

Range isn’t a liability standing between ambitious women and success.

I’m convinced that it’s the advantage.

You can be a serious professional and a creative. You can be ambitious and care about achievement, while also wanting a beautiful, peaceful life full of pleasure. You can be analytical and intuitive.

After all, you have two sides of the brain. The left (logic) and the right (creativity).

You don’t have to resolve every contradiction.

Some of them are simply part of what makes you... YOU!

So here are my parting words: You are allowed to be many things. And those many things are allowed to change.

The Copenhagen List: Best Bakeries, Restaurants & Shops

Nicole Jizhar — Fri, 24 Jul 2026 01:00:35 GMT

Copenhagen was the first stop of our honeymoon, and I had been looking forward to being back in this city for so long. We had a few honeymoon destination options leading up to the trip (like South Africa and New Zealand), but a part of me was craving a taste of the slower, more intentional way of living you find in Denmark. We definitely made the right choice.

The last time I was in Copenhagen was back in high school, and I have the fondest memories from that trip. I loved the way people looked, dressed, and moved. I was inspired by how they lived their lives. People-watching alone was enough to keep me busy for hours. Especially in the summer.

Copenhagen summers are hard to beat. People were out and about, soaking up the long sunny days. Outdoor swims. Bikes everywhere. Diving off the docks by the Opera House. Cafés and restaurants buzzing all night. The days were wonderfully long. It was bright before you woke up, and still sunny out by the time you finished dinner. People were living. Like really living.

While I was enjoying my time there, I started getting more curious about the Danish way of life. I’ve recently been loving the work of Professor (@profmarinacooley) who writes over on her Substack (Prof Off Duty) about life in Denmark as an American expat researching about Danish work culture, work-life balance, and secrets to happiness. Here are a few pieces I bookmarked that I think you’ll love:

P.S. I write my own notes on what I took away from the Scandinavians here in an upcoming post!

Now let’s get back to the city guide…

Copenhagen is an incredible walkable city (if you choose not to bike instead, which is what most everyone else does). Our hotel was pretty central, so we basically got around everywhere by foot, all around the Old City, to the bakeries in Nørrebro, to dinners in Vesterbro, to the shops in Østerbro, and even all the way across the water to Christiania in Christianshavn.

The days were too beautiful and long to not be enjoyed outdoors. And we definitely got our fair share of the sun, with our faces getting color and our feet clocking in almost 30k steps a day. Perfect to burn off all the indulgences we had over the 3 days we were there. That includes all the goodies below!

Here is my curated list of everything we ate, bought, and saw in Copenhagen. Don’t forget to watch it all in my Copenhagen vlog here:

You can also find me on Instagram @nicolejizhar. Now let’s get into it.

My Favorite Neighborhoods

Indre By: The heart of the city where we spent the majority of our time. It’s the historic old city, including the main shopping area around Strøget, the tranquil King’s Garden, and the cobblestone streets of the Latin Quarter.
Nørrebro: The creative, multicultural neighborhood across the lakes, home to Jægersborggade (full of independent shops and vintage boutiques), great coffee, and some great casual eats.
Vesterbro: The former red-light district turned into a cool cultural hub, including the meatpacking district (Kødbyen), trendy restaurants, and bars.
Østerbro: A more leafy, calm, and residential side of Copenhagen, worth the trip alone for Juno The Bakery.
Christianshavn: Across the water from the center. Full of canals, colorful houseboats, and the famous self-governing freetown of Christiania.

Where We Stayed

We stayed at 1 Hotel Copenhagen, which had just opened last year. We’ve always loved staying at other 1 Hotels around the world because of their sustainable luxury ethos. The Copenhagen location was no exception, beautifully designed and located in the heart of the city, making it very central and the perfect base for exploring the whole city by foot. Everything was within walking distance, even Strøget, Nyhavn, Tivoli, and Christianshavn.

I also considered:

Hotel Sanders: A boutique hotel behind the Royal Danish Theatre, tucked away on a quiet street near Nyhavn. Feels like a highly-curated, mid-century modern private home.
Villa Copenhagen: Located in the historic Central Post Central building, with grand neobaroque architecture with modern Scandinavian interiors. Also home to Rug Bakery (more on that below).

The Bakeries

I might argue that Copenhagen is the city with the best bakeries in the world! Two things to know before you go. The cardamom bun is the city’s signature pastry (and we bakery-hopped just to try all the best ones in the city!) and the morning plate is the classic Danish breakfast, including fresh bread with butter, cheese, jam, and a soft-boiled egg. Simple, but oh so satisfying. Here were some of my favorite spots for baked goods and breakfasts.

Juno The Bakery (Østerbro): The legendary neighborhood spot in Østerbro that did my #1 favorite cardamom bun of the whole trip. I say that it’s worth the hype. The bun was perfectly soft and chewy, and it was perfectly glazed with a sticky coating that was sweet enough but not too overwhelming. We walked all the way there (to justify all the buns!) and that walk was so worth it.
Hart Bageri (multiple): Founded by Richard Hart, former head baker at Tartine in San Francisco. The cardamom croissant here was so good. A fun twist on the classic bun, made with croissant chunks. So decadent, buttery, and delicious.
Atelier September (Indre By): A cult favorite café that served my favorite breakfast of the trip. Their pastries were also fantastic, too pretty to eat! We got the apricot spandauer with vanilla pastry cream. Of course we had to get the morning plate as well. And we tried the harissa omelette with sourdough and avocado. Easily one of the best mornings we had on our trip. Go early! There’s often a crowd.
Rug Bakery (Vesterbro): Located inside Villa Copenhagen, this is where we had our first proper breakfast (we got the morning plate and yet another cardamom bun) before exploring around the central train station and Tivoli.
Studio x Kitchen (Indre By): A small café serving a tight seasonal breakfast-and-lunch menu. Located by King’s Garden which is perfect for a post-meal stroll.
Apotek 57 (Indre By): A design-forward café inside the Frama store in Nyboder, serving seasonal pastries and small plates.
Andersen & Maillard (multiple): Specialty coffee roaster and bakery, founded by a former Noma pastry chef.
Lille Bakery (Refshaleøen): Bakery housed in an industrial warehouse district in Refshaleøen with communal tables. They have a no-photography policy now. Worth the trip across the harbor, also near La Banchina for a pre- or post-treat swim.

Restaurants (Lunch Options)

Torvehallerne Market (Indre By): A fun indoor food market with over 60 stalls housed in two glass halls. They have everything from fresh pastries, to global olive oils, to smoothies, salads, and smørrebrød. We grabbed sandwiches and fresh juices on our arrival day for the perfect first bite off the plane.
Aamanns (1921 in Indre By or Deli & Take Away in Østerbro): An elevated take on traditional Danish smørrebrød (open-faced sandwiches) by chef Adam Aamann. They have a proper sit-down restaurant (Aamanns 1921) and also a casual grab-and-go deli. We went to the deli and shared 4 smørrebrød (beef tartare, salmon tartare, chicken salad and mushroom). They were definitely very hearty and more filling than meets the eye.
Poulette (Nørrebro): The famous cult-favorite spicy fried chicken sandwich counter in Nørrebro (no seats!). It was blown up even more after Dua Lipa said it was her favorite sandwich spot in the city. She was right! The spicy fries were also so good. They also have Pompette, the natural wine bar next door.
Broens Street Food Market (Christianshavn): Lively, open-air food market at the end of the Inner Harbour Bridge right across the bridge from Nyhavn. It was just perfect for the long summer day, especially with so many people laying out in the sun along the waterfront.
Reffen (Refshaleøen): A big open-air street food market that runs in the summer, with dozens of stalls of global eats. Casual, fun, and great for groups.

Restaurants (Dinner Options)

Noma & Noma Projects (Christianshavn): No explanation needed. Noma is widely considered the most influential restaurant of the modern dining era, with its three-Michelin-starred hyper-seasonal, avant-garde menus. Book months ahead! They’re evolving into a new format, so check their status before booking (unfortunately they weren’t open when we were in town). They also opened Noma Projects, for their retail line of pantry products including their signature fermented sauces, garums, and seasonings.
Geranium (Østerbro): The three-Michelin-star restaurant from chef Rasmus Kofoed, once named the best restaurant in the world. Unexpectedly located on the eighth floor of the national football stadium. They serve a meat-free artistic tribute to seasonal Nordic seafood and vegetables. Also need to book far ahead.
Alouette (Indre By): Our very first dinner of the trip, and what a way to start. Tucked away in a beautiful courtyard opposite of King’s Garden, we were greeted by the chef from outside to make sure we didn’t miss the restaurant. This Michelin-starred gem features modern, sustainability-led dishes. You can really appreciate all the small touches behind every dish, from the carefully considered ingredients to the stories of the local farmers who grew them.
Barr (Christianshavn): In Noma’s former home on the Christianshavn waterfront, serving Nordic comfort food including their famous schnitzel served with capers, anchovies, and a brown butter sauce. Set in a gorgeous timber room.
Høst (Indre By): A modern New Nordic restaurant serving contemporary, creative Scandinavian menus within a rustic, greenhouse-inspired stone room.
Kødbyens Fiskebar (Vesterbro): A seafood institution in the old meatpacking district (Kødbyens) serving fresh seafood. We enjoyed a long summer night with dinner in bright daylight served with oysters, mussels, and riesling. Peak Copenhagen summer energy. Don’t forget to pick up an ice cream at Ismageriet after.
Bæst (Nørrebro): Organic wood-fired pizza with house-made mozzarella and charcuterie.
Cleo (Nørrebro): A relaxed neighborhood spot with tasty Mediterranean-influenced small plates.
Frank (Indre By): Our last dinner in the city at this Michelin-starred spot right in the heart of the main shopping area. Perfect for an intimate date night.
Admiralgade 26 (Indre By): A wine bar and bistro tucked away in an 18th century building in the city center, known for thoughtful seasonal small plates and natural wine.

Coffee & Ice Cream

Coffee Collective: The pioneer of Copenhagen’s specialty coffee movement.
Prolog: The Kødbyen roaster and a local favorite for coffee.
La Cabra: Originally from Aarhus, but now in several cities globally. I visited the one in New York earlier this year and it was also buzzing.
Ismageriet: A popular retro 1950s-style ice cream shop serving some of the city’s most popular ice cream. Known for its heaping portions of rich, creamy, house-spun ice cream.
Østerberg Ice Cream: Founded by a food scientist with an artisanal approach to frozen treats, using real fruits and exotic flavors from around the world.

The Shopping

For Fashion & Accessories

Women’s Fashion & Accessories

By Malene Birger: The Danish fashion house known for elevated, effortlessly elegant womenswear with a slightly bolder, more decorative edge than the typical minimalist labels.
MKDT Studio: The cult Copenhagen label from Mark Kenly Domino Tan featuring Nordic minimalism and architectural silhouettes. The boutique near Nyhavn doubles as a rotating art space.
Lie Studio: Jewelry line by the Moosgaard twins (who I am obsessed with and have their whole own section on my Pinterest board!) with bold, sculptural pieces designed for everyday wear that become wardrobe signatures.
Another Nué: The ultimate cool-girl Copenhagen mixed-brand boutique with a curated edit of designer pieces and local contemporary brands.
Mads Nørgaard: Family-run Danish fashion house, best known for its iconic striped tees and casual pieces that have been in production since the 1980s.
BOII Studios: A popular neighborhood boutique with casual clothing from airy knits to fun pastels and accessories.
NORR: A fun boutique carrying a curated edit of understated Scandinavian labels across clothing, accessories, and objects. Perfect for finding cute gifts to bring back for family and friends too.
Sui Ava: Danish label known for playful hair accessories and jewelry.
Pico: Danish accessories brand famous for its hair clips and scrunchies, now carried in boutiques around the world.
Craft Sisters: A charming boutique for Danish craft and ceramics on Nørrebro’s Jægersborggade, featuring unique handmade textiles and accessories crafted by women’s co-ops around the world. Got lots of gifts from here too.

Menswear

Oscar Jacobson: The Swedish tailoring house established in 1903 with precise suiting and shirting for men. A favorite of Matt’s.
NN07: Stands for “No Nationality.” Danish menswear for relaxed, refined everyday staples in natural fabrics and neutral palettes.
Norse Projects: Copenhagen label blending Scandinavian minimalism with workwear and technical fabrics, known for exceptional outerwear and premium menswear basics.
Another Aspect: Copenhagen brand focused on elevated wardrobe essentials in natural fabrics and a versatile color palette.

For Home & Design

Flagships & Design Houses

Hay House: HAY’s multi-floor flagship store above Amagertorv with colorful Danish furniture, lighting, textiles, and objects. Don’t forget to pick up an iconic HAY tote bag.
Ferm Living: Gorgeous historic brick showroom on the canal featuring the Danish interiors brand’s collection of modern Scandinavian furniture, textiles, and accessories.
Illums Bolighus: The premium Danish design department store with everything from fashion to furniture.
Frama: Located inside a historic 1800s apothecary (St. Paul’s Apotek) in Nyboder featuring minimalist furniture, ceramics, and skincare. Have breakfast at Apotek 57 in the same building before shopping.
Louis Poulsen: The Danish lighting house behind Poul Henningsen’s famous PH lamps.

Textiles, Ceramics & Objects

Tekla: A cult-favorite brand for linens, robes, sleepwear, bedding, towels and home textiles. Also perfect for gifting.
Studio Arhøj: A playful ceramics studio famous for their iconic little glazed “ghosts,” with an open workshop you can peek into while you browse.
Louise Roe : A Danish interiors brand for sculptural glass home pieces, lighting, and tableware.

Vintage, Books & Concept Stores

Tadaima: A minimalist concept store marrying Scandinavian lifestyle essentials with Japanese craft and objects.
New Mags: An aesthetic coffee-table book shop packed with independent magazines and stunning hardcovers on fashion, architecture, art, and design.
Klassik: A gallery-like showroom specializing in mid-century Danish vintage furniture, featuring beautifully restored original pieces by legends like Hans Wegner and Arne Jacobsen.

Activities

Walking tour of Indre By: The best way to orient yourself in Copenhagen. Walk through the heart of the city, including stops like Tivoli, Christiansborg Palace, the Black Diamond Library, a canal ride, the Little Mermaid, Amalienborg (and the changing of the guards), Kastellet star fortress, and the Marble Church, ending in Nyhavn.
Nyhavn at golden hour: Yes, it’s probably the most touristy thing you could do. But that doesn’t make it any less iconic to see the row of colorful 17th-century townhomes.
King’s Garden & the Latin Quarter: A beautiful historic royal garden that is perfect for mid-afternoon strolls, especially when walking down the picturesque tree-lined middle pathway.
Watching the harbor divers by the Opera House: A very Copenhagen summer moment, watching locals dive into the central harbor on sunny days.
La Banchina: Speaking of jumping into the water… This iconic harborside spot in Refshaleøen is a 16-seat restaurant where locals swim off the dock and eat by the water.
Christiania: The famous freetown with its self-governing community known for its alternative lifestyle, vibrant murals and historic green ramparts. It has really cleaned itself up a lot compared to when I visited more than a decade ago.
Louisiana Museum of Modern Art: 40 minutes north by train. A beautiful modern art museum and sculpture garden that blends world-class art, mid-century architecture, and panoramic views of the sea.
Designmuseum Danmark: The country’s premier design museum, home to a beautiful collection of Danish furniture, ceramics, and decorative arts housed inside a rococo building. A must-go for design lovers.

Why Everyone Needs to Disappear Into Nature Once in a While

Nicole Jizhar — Sun, 19 Jul 2026 01:01:24 GMT

I’ll be honest. On our first day in Norway, I totally underestimated it.

Even getting into the airport from Copenhagen, it felt instantly slower. And I had written it off immediately and assumed there wouldn’t be enough to do for 3 days. Because in my books, having “enough” to do meant being in a busy city with lots to see, plenty of shops to browse, tons of people to watch, and cute cafes to linger at. Bergen wasn’t that. It’s Norway’s 2^nd largest city, but to my surprise, our taxi driver told us it was essentially 3km to walk around the whole town and can be done in basically an hour. But I’m so glad that the flights to leave earlier were too full (and expensive) to rebook, because having a bit more quiet time in nature did more for me than most of the other wonderful, jam-packed days we spent in Copenhagen and Stockholm on the rest of our honeymoon.

The highlight of Bergen was our 12-hour Norway in a Nutshell journey, where we explored the best nature that Norway had to offer by train, bus and ferry. The cruise through the fjords was absolutely breathtaking (I shared more about this in my Bergen Vlog).

Reality check… We’re small!

On that journey, I kept thinking to myself…

In a setting as grand and beyond us as this, we really are just so small. And so are all our problems. And in front of the fjords, we’re all the same. You. Me. The CEOs you admire. The people who made history…

The fjords were craved by glaciers over millions of years. They were here long before us, and they’ll be here for much longer after us too. The reality is… They won’t remember any of us.

I know that sounds a bit depressing and existential, but I mean it in the most liberating way. All those grievances that take up most of your mental energy… They’re all so small when you’re in nature like this. All those worries start to vanish.

We’ve become a society of do-ers

We spend so much of our lives on the go, worrying, chasing what’s next. And when you unplug for a second in nature, you start to make space to think about what you do it all for.

We’ve gotten so good at doing that sometimes we forget to just be.

We’re conditioned to maximizing stimulation, productivity and being busy. But I would argue that fulfillment tends to come from the opposite direction.

The negative space. The quiet. The boredom.

The older I get, the more I learn that a meaningful life isn’t built from all the big extraordinary moments. It’s built from thousands of ordinary ones we were present enough to appreciate.

Let’s be real. Most of us don’t live next to a fjord. But maybe the lesson is just to create more moments that make us feel the way I felt in Norway.

Here’s your reminder to regularly disappear somewhere your worries can’t follow. It doesn’t need to be a fjord. Your own quiet space will do.

And if you want to pay Norway a visit yourself…

On Norway…

If these thoughts have inspired you to pay a visit to the fjords yourself… Here’s what I’d recommend. Don’t miss these highlights from our trip to Bergen.

See them all in action in my Bergen Vlog.

Bryggen: Bergen’s UNESCO-listed old wharf, with its iconic row of colorful wooden Hanseatic merchant houses. Spend an afternoon walking through the area and stopping by in the little shops.
Mount Fløyen: The mountain you can hike (or funicular up) straight from the city center, for the best 360 views over Bergen.
Norway in a Nutshell: The classic self-guided route combining train, mountain railway, and fjord cruise through Norway’s most dramatic scenery. This was the main highlight of the trip, and took a whole day from 8am to 8pm. So worth it.
Fjord Cruise: The stunning sail through the Nærøyfjord and Aurlandsfjord, the most breathtaking stretch of the Nutshell route.
Flåm: The tiny fjord-side village at the end of the famous Flåm Railway, one of the world’s most scenic train journeys. A lovely stop for lunch.
Fish Market (Fisketorget): Bergen’s waterfront market for seafood, local produce, and a lunch stop!
Fjellskål Seafood Restaurant: Fresh seafood at Bergen’s fish market. We got the seafood platter and tried some varieties of smoked fish (and smoked whale!).
Bryggeloftet & Stuene: The traditional Bergen institution for classic Norwegian dishes in a historic Bryggen setting. Our favorite meal for dinner. You have to try the Bergen fish soup! It was good and reminded me of clam chowder. We also got the mussels and grilled sole fish.
3-Kroneren: Bergen's legendary hot dog stand (since 1946) with plenty of sausage options. Their most popular is their reindeer sausage. The best way to have their hot dogs loaded with mustard and crispy onions!
Hallaisen: The best local ice cream spot. We went multiple times. If you know me, you know my relationship with ice cream. I will definitely hunt for the best one in every city I go to, and this was the best! My favorite was the Skillingsboller (Bergen cinnamon roll) flavor.

The Stockholm List: Where To Eat, Shop & Fika

Nicole Jizhar — Sat, 11 Jul 2026 04:24:42 GMT

Stockholm was the final stop of our honeymoon, and it had always been one of my favorite cities to visit. The last time I was there was in high school, on a family trip, but lowkey, I’ve always had a little piece of Sweden in my soul.

I resonate so much with their way of life, their mindset, and not to mention their style! I remember when I was younger, before Instagram and Pinterest were even around, I’d spend hours on Stockholm street style blogs, romanticizing every look. Sweden is home to some of the brands I’ve always looked to for fashion inspiration, like Totême and Acne. There’s an effortless, timeless quality to the way Swedes dress with clean lines, muted neutrals, and a freeing absence of logos. Classic, minimalist and intentional…

In addition to all the shopping I did, I also brought home a lot of memories (and calories from all the addicting cinnamon buns) and left fully embracing their fika philosophy: the Swedish ritual of taking breaks in the middle of the day for a coffee and sometimes something sweet. I love the idea of it. A country that schedules rest into its days, and also happens to consistently rank among the happiest on earth. I write more about that (and all the other Scandi ways of life that I’m stealing) in an upcoming post!

Now back to what you’re here for - the city guide…

Stockholm is spread across fourteen islands, connected by bridges and surrounded by water. Every neighborhood has its own personality, but they all share the same calm, intentional feeling.

Well here below is my curated list of everything we ate (a lot), bought, and saw in Stockholm over three days. Don’t forget to watch it all in my Stockholm vlog here:

You can also find me on Instagram @nicolejizhar. Now let’s get into it.

My Favorite Neighborhoods

Gamla Stan: The charming old town with cobblestone streets, the Royal Palace, and painted merchant houses.
Östermalm: The elegant, upscale district with designer shopping, the grand food hall (Saluhall), and fine dining.
Norrmalm: The central hub, home to the main shopping streets and department stores.
Södermalm: Stockholm’s creative, slightly bohemian Southern island. Full of vintage shops, specialty coffee, and great for people-watching.
Vasastan: Residential, elegant, calmer, and full of local cafés. Where we stayed and where the city felt more like a peaceful escape.

Where We Stayed

Mornings at Villa Dahlia

We stayed at Villa Dahlia, a 1-Michelin Key hotel located in the Vasastan neighborhood. We were in between a few other options (listed below) but ended up picking this hotel because it felt like a reprieve from the busy city life (which was much needed on the last leg of our trip after lots of running around). The hotel was located across a leafy park and felt like a quiet escape from the tourist crowds. And every corner was beautifully decorated. I loved staying here.

I also considered:

Ett Hem (Östermalm): An exclusive townhouse hotel designed by Ilse Crawford that pioneered the “stay like it’s your own home” concept. One of the best small hotels in the world.
Stockholm Stadshotell (Södermalm): A newly reopened boutique hotel in a beautifully restored 1870s building, located in the heart of artsy Södermalm with timeless architecture, understated design, and a moody interior.

Fika & Bakeries

Stora Bageriet (Östermalm): One of the most famous bakeries in Stockholm. Located in a historic former military bakery building. Get their sandwiches, breakfast plates, and pastries, especially their kanelbulle (cinnamon buns) and kardemummabulle (cardamom buns).
Pom & Flora (Vasastan & Södermalm): Lovely breakfast spot with all-day breakfast options. We got their scrambled egg with focaccia and burrata, acai bowl, banana bread with espresso mascarpone, turmeric tonic, golden latte, and fresh OJ!
Lillebrors Bageri (Vasastan): A lovely hole-in-the-wall neighborhood bakery known for excellent cinnamon and cardamom buns.
Café Pascal (Vasastan): Neighborhood café with great coffee, breakfast, and pastries. They are also known for their seasonal and highly sought after semla (Swedish bun filled with rich almond paste and whipped cream).
Vete-Katten (Norrmalm): A Stockholm institution on Kungsgatan operating since the 1920s, full of chandeliers, maze-like historic rooms and classic Swedish baking heritage. Famous for their traditional Princess Cake too (sponge cake, raspberry jam, vanilla cream, and green marzipan).
Gast (Vasastan): Breakfast spot in Vasastan for fun lattes, delicious pastries and classic brunch plates.
Drop Coffee (Södermalm): One of Stockholm’s most award-winning specialty coffee roasters.
Fabrique (multiple): Stockholm’s stone-oven bakery chain, with locations all over the city. We grabbed our last cinnamon & cardamom buns here before flying home since it was the most convenient to find around the city.

🔒 The Recs I Only Share With My Friends…

Paid subscribers get the rest of this guide, including more exclusive paid-only city guides like:

You get the full archive, every city guide, and deep dives on all my lessons. For less than one coffee a month <3

The Jakarta List: Where To Eat (From A Local)

Nicole Jizhar — Sun, 28 Jun 2026 05:57:54 GMT

Jakarta is not an easy city to love.

The traffic will test your patience. The pollution will test your lungs. The organized chaos of it will test your sanity. Hah!

And to be honest, sometimes it feels like the type of city that pushes you every day just to get through it. But everyone is pushing through too.

We’re all in it together.

That’s the beauty of Jakarta. The camaraderie that you can feel. When someone who doesn’t have it all is still willing to give it all for a stranger.

There’s a phrase in Indonesian that I love, called “Gotong Royong.”

It means something along the lines of “the communal sharing of burdens” or a collective hustling where a community lifts each other up towards the same goal.

Quote from Medium article by @skipwaybagus

I’ve lived in Jakarta for most of my life and I still have days where the city completely humbles me. But I’ve also found, over years of navigating it, the places that make it worth it.

And once you get to know it, Jakarta can also become an exciting food destination that is becoming better and better each year.

The dining scene has transformed compared to what it was like back when I was in high school before living abroad for almost a decade. And upon moving back, being in the kitchen & home industry has allowed me to connect with a lot of the movers and shakers of the culinary industry who are shaping the future of gastronomy in Indonesia as we speak.

And it’s surprising because nobody talks about Jakarta the way it should be. After all, it was just officially named as the number one biggest city in the world (with 42 million people!!). But when people think about food destinations in Southeast Asia, they would still first think about Singapore, Thailand, Vietnam, etc… It’s time to change that narrative.

So here’s my highly curated, tried-and-tested list spilling all of my favorite spots in this crazy city that we all love to hate, and hate to love…

Jakarta.

Hope you enjoy it!

You can also find me on Instagram @nicolejizhar. Now let’s get into it.

Contemporary & Fusion

Pantja — One of my go-to spots in town, with Western & Asian cuisine and a fantastic cocktail program. They hit it out of the park with their elevated take on American classics, like their KFC and off-menu In-N-Out-like burger. Also a blast upstairs for a late night over the weekend. You can never have a bad time here.
Rooang Bimasena — A modern yet rooted dining experience set inside the Bimasena at the Dharmawangsa Hotel. With a beautiful setting that you could spend hours in, even for afternoon teas. And then don’t forget to grab a chocolate martini (the hotel’s signature!) at the Dharmawangsa Hotel while you’re there.
Publish — A neighborhood gem. Love their twists on Asian-inspired pastas or modern-spins on Asian dishes like crab kwetiau. Their cozy minimalist space is perfect for a weekend brunch or dinner with the girls.
Maple Brasserie — Modern European-Asian cooking in a modern, cozy space. A reliable spot for dinner or brunch. Love their octopus and pasta dishes.
Cork & Screw Country Club — The Country Club version of the classic C&S institution with casual contemporary dining in a lush outdoor setting that you rarely get in the middle of Jakarta. Set within Senayan Golf with lots of greenery and even a pool. Not to mention it’s dog friendly too and hosts a lot of wellness activities here. One of Jakarta’s most enduring social dining spots.
Loewy — European-influenced brasserie cooking in Mega Kuningan that’s been around for decades with a loyal following. Lots of Western staples like grilled fish, steak frites, etc. but also Asian dishes like nasi campur, Hainan chicken rice, and more. Great for a long business lunch, weekend brunch or a relaxed weekend dinner.

Fine Dining

August — Honestly, my very first recommendation for anyone visiting the city. One of the best cooking & hospitality in Jakarta, located in the SCBD, and consistently winning awards like Asia’s 50 Best Restaurants. The tasting menu blends French culinary technique with Indonesian ingredients. I’ve gone back for multiple versions of the tasting menu and it has always blown me away. A must-visit.
Kindling — Another of my favorite fine dining restaurants inside a cozy colonial house in Menteng, featuring Asian cuisine with French technique. The setting is just gorgeous, with different experiences in different rooms.
Amuz — Classic French fine dining from Chef Gilles Marx. Consistently one of the best kitchens in Indonesia. I’ve been going here for decades and it never ever ever disappoints. The truffle pasta is my favorite, ever, anywhere! My mom is good friends with Chef Gilles so I was lucky enough to have him cater lunch for our holy matrimony at the Jakarta Cathedral too, so this place holds a lot of special memories for me.
Suma — Another memorable Asian-inspired tasting menu, but leaning more towards Chinese heritage instead of Indonesian. With lots of lovely storytelling woven in throughout the meal and gorgeous presentation too.
ESA — Contemporary refined Indonesian-inspired fine dining located inside SCBD Park.
Jinjoo — Korean fine dining tasting menu set in the stacked K-Town Kompound with multiple other Korean restaurants like Woobo (for beef & KBBQ).

Healthy & Cafe

Farm Girl — One of my other frequent orders that I eat at least once a week. Great for a working lunch or even dinner takeout. I never get sick of their food. My favorites are the Asian Chicken Salad, Chipotle Chicken Salad, and a rotation of their wraps and sandwiches. Their Farm Girl Table outpost in Menteng also has a more extensive menu that I like for brunch.
Terra — My go-to for a healthy meal or even a post-workout smoothie. I love their custom hot bowls where you can mix and match proteins and sides, but my typical order is the spicy chicken caesar wrap. I am a very loyal customer there!
The Roots — One of my favorite wraps in the city. They just moved to Senopati connected to a Padel court, so great to grab and go after a sweat session.
Chicory — A timeless classic for coffee and pastries, perfect for a weekend morning. Run by a French owner and the quality has stayed high and consistent for years. I love bringing a book there and enjoying a morning with a delicious canelé or slice of carrot cake.
Ombe Kofie — A mainstay and one of my favorite coffee chains around the city. I love their coffees, but their food is a real sleeper hit. Their Onbbit bread and toasted sandwiches always hit the spot. And not to mention I think they have some of the best bakmi in town.
1/15 — Another coffee chain that I love for great coffee and food options too in minimalist and super aesthetic settings.
Papillon Marketplace — I love their grab and go options inside The Papilion Kemang, connected to a little curated boutique supermarket selling lots of organic staples and cute knick knacks. They also usually have food stalls selling childhood favorites like poffertjes and various es campurs.
Monolog — Another classic coffee spot with great brews, fun teas, creative lattes and fresh juices. Always consistent, and also serves pretty good food! Great for a working lunch or a meeting spot too.

Indonesian

Suara — A new restaurant on Gunawarman with refined, modern Indonesian cuisine, brought to you by the same group as Locavore NXT in Bali. One of Jakarta’s most exciting new openings.
Mata Karanjang — A favorite spot for Manado cuisine, always so tasty, and in a cozy homey space. Also connected to Solo Ristorante with very good Italian pizza!
Beautika — The iconic Manadonese institution in Hang Tuah that really brings the heat! Bold and authentic North Sulawesi flavors.
The Acre — Modern Indonesian dishes set inside a beautiful heritage-inspired setting. I love bringing out-of-town guests here. Love their iga sambal ijo (short ribs with green chili), and BBQ seafood. Their brunch food is also so good.
Pagi Sore — My favorite for Padang food. Can’t say no to nasi remes with rendang or ayam pop. Topped with lots of daun singkong and a halved telor balado. Unmatched.
Salira — A modern take on the traditional Indonesian warung located in Senopati and part of the Union group. Lots of fun small dishes and great Indonesian-inspired craft cocktails.
Daun Muda — Contemporary Indonesian cuisine by the Javanegra group. Known for their famous nasi goreng kambing (spiced lamb fried rice) and nasi goreng cakalang! Always hits the spot.
Plataran — A heritage space in Menteng serving refined Indonesian cuisine. The Plataran group has hotels spanning virtually every destination across the archipelago, and whenever I travel to other cities in the country, I can always trust Plataran to serve some elegant true-to-Indonesia food.

Japanese

Shikaku — A classic spot for dinner with fantastic sushi and yakitori in the Dharmawangsa Hotel. You can grab a drink at Bar Kotak next door afterwards for a nightcap too.
Yawara — Intimate, high-end Japanese with always memorable omakase, and also premium yakiniku experience. The meat and fish quality never disappoints.
Sumi to Kome — Charcoal-grilled yakitori and rice bar with great sakes hidden inside a warehouse style building in Blok M. Can be hard to get to, but worth it once you step inside.
Okuzono — One of the most consistent Japanese izakaya spots that I can eat multiple times a week. Their extensive menu of options can get overwhelming but I have locked in my go-to order there that I get almost every time.
Haruta — To me, this is one of the best omakase restaurants in town. The fish is always super fresh and the chef’s technique is fantastic. Located in PIK, but always worth the drive.
Kokuu — Elevated Japanese kaiseki tucked away in a corner of Senopati. The hosts are also so welcoming and always a great time. The sukiyaki is some of the richest and best in town! There’s also a great speakeasy above it that you must go to after dinner.
Asuka — Reliable sushi at JW Marriott. They also have great lunch bento sets. Never disappoints.
The Grill — Japanese teppanyaki and grill done well. Always tasty and great meat.
Oku — Sleek Japanese restaurant with modern and elevated twist inside the Kempinski hotel. Love their iconic, black Oku karaage chicken.
Sushi Toku — Reliable Japanese restaurant in Gunawarman with contemporary sushi options and relaxed atmosphere.

Italian

Zapoli — The best pizza in town. Hands down. They serve authentic Neapolitan-style with light and chewy dough. So good. And the place is also such a vibe with so much character. Quite tucked away and small hidden gem in Kemang.
Casa Alba — Always good Italian with great pasta in Menteng. Can never go wrong with any of their pastas or seafood dishes.
La Balena — Neighborhood Italian restaurant in Pondok Indah. Love all their contemporary pastas and pizzas. And not to mention their hazelnut torte for dessert!
Dominica — Contemporary Italian dining in Menteng that never disappoints! With a chic atmosphere and a great selection of pastas, pizzas, seafood, and gelato.
Sola — Beautiful Italian spot in Menteng with great pasta rotation and meats.
Privy — Refined Italian cooking in an intimate space in Dharmawangsa Square. Great for date night.
Nonna Bona — Classic Italian spot in Ashta with a creative gelato bar too.
Roma — SCBD’s reliable Italian staple for pasta, wood-fired pizzas, and a great bar. Good for business lunches and dinners too.
Emilia — Italian restaurant with several locations in the city and a wide selection of handmade pasta dishes.
Franco — A fun Italian restaurant in Pakubuwono. Great for a nice lunch or dinner with good pasta and wine.

French, Spanish & LatAm

Le Quartier — Classic French bistro and cafe/bar on Gunawarman that’s been a Jakarta institution for ages. Good steak frites, wine, and even a good brunch program.
Plan B — A staple Spanish restaurant in Permata Hijau that is one of the most authentic in town. Their paellas are incredible and I love the whole suckling pig too for a group order too.
Javanegra — Another mainstay with fantastic Spanish-inspired food and great meats. Their steaks are some of the best in the city. An elevated option that is sophisticated, but without the formality of a traditional tasting-menu.
Paris Cafe — From the team behind Paris Sorbet and Paris Bistro, run by a French owner and you can definitely feel it! Casual French bistro vibes and incredible desserts.
Costa — Refined Spanish-inspired cooking in SCBD with a lot of great seafood dishes.
Copa — A great spot in 25 Hours Hotel for when you’re craving some Latin American flavors, since there are not a lot of options for that in town. Love their house-made chips with fresh guac, bright ceviche, and endless tacos!

Asian & Global

Taste Paradise — My favorite for dim sum and Chinese food in Jakarta. Located in Plaza Indonesia. Always super busy, so have to book far ahead. Love going for Sunday lunch dim sum with my family.
Silk Thai — My favorite Thai restaurant in town. All of their noodle dishes, hearty Thai curries, and tasty starters never fail.
Orasa — Contemporary Thai cooking that also always hits the spot.
Turkuaz — The best Turkish food in Jakarta that feels like you’re stepping into Istanbul. I love all the different varieties of their flatbreads and mezzes (multiple types of hummus & baba ganoush), grilled meats, koftes, doners, etc. And of course Turkish coffees and baklavas to end the meal. You won’t leave hungry.
Queens Tandoor — The most reliable and authentic Indian food in Jakarta. Love going for palak paneer, chicken tandoori and naan. Always hits the spot.
Babooji — Another Indian restaurant, but with a more modern, creative twist (like Indian tacos!).
Shu Guo Yin Xiang — My favorite Chinese hot pot in town. I make multiple rounds to the sauce bar every time. The broths are very tasty and their vegetables & meat are high quality.
Mi Mie Dang — Vietnamese restaurant (but Korean-owned) with tasty pho, bun noodle bowls, and crispy spring rolls!

Korean

Cheong Dam — My go-to Korean restaurant in town. The best Korean BBQ. Also love their spread of banchan and other dishes too. I can go back again and again.
Mr Park — Another favorite for Korean BBQ with good meats. Great for a group dinner.
Samwon Garden — Another Korean BBQ spot, with several locations in malls.
Bumbu Satu — Korean comfort food in Senopati, leaning more towards hearty soups, stews, and rice dishes.
Bornga — One of the Korean spots that has been around as a staple the longest in town!

Workouts

Empire — This is where my strength training journey really began when I first moved back to Jakarta. They have a lifting focused class called Hyperpump with a Push/Pull/Legs split, and a Bootcamp class more focused on HIIT. There’s a super strong sense of community too. They host a lot of 4/6/8-week challenges as well for when people need a little motivation.
SoulBox — Another group fitness class in Senopati with a variety of classes from resistance training and HIIT to specialized kettlebell and TRX classes. There’s also SoulBox Recharge downstairs focused on recovery with offerings like infrared saunas.
Yoga 42 — The Bikram hot yoga institution that I’ve been going to for decades since I was in high school. I love it for a good sweat. You go in knowing what you’re getting into with the consistent sequence of 26 classic poses in the 42-degree heat.
Union Yoga — A brick-walled studio with a variety of yoga classes from yin to hatha, heated to non-heated. Consistently good flows.
Strong — A strength-focused pilates class which I love because it combines reformer pilates work with more intensity intervals too like rowing or biking to get your heart-rate up.
Platform & The Mat — Platform is a favorite for a hard megaformer pilates session that definitely gets me shaking. They also recently opened their sister brand, The Mat, for hot mat pilates.
Burns — Hot pilates in a red room for a good and vibey sweat session.
Bang — High-energy spin classes in Dharmawangsa that takes me back to my old spinning days back when I was a Soulcycle addict. These classes are super fun and always a blast.

Spas & Wellness

Kawa Wellness — My favorite spa in town with the best massages on the most comfortable heated massage beds. They also give delicious and healthy post-treatment snacks that leave you feeling so warm and cozy. A most comprehensive wellness destination.
Yu Rirakkusu — A Japanese-inspired reflexology and deep tissue massage sanctuary with strong massage techniques and consistently great massages.
LaTox — The OG spot for lymphatic drainage massages and infrared saunas in Senopati. They also serve some of my favorite smoothies in town (Get Lean).
Tone Spa — Another favorite spot for lymphatic drainage massages in Kemang. Consistently gets me de-bloated & snatched.
Serene — A quick and easy spot for lymphatic drainage massages, full-body massages, and even reflexology, located in office buildings making it a perfect way to unwind after work.

Grooming

Studio K — A trusted hair salon in Jakarta. If you want an immaculately precise cut and color, book with Kieffer, who is a master of his craft and trusted by a lot of celebrities.
Parlour — Another go-to spot for haircuts and color, housed in industrial-chic & edgy salons.
Lifted — My go-to facial and medispa destination with a fabulous team of doctors. The treatments leave me glowing. And there are so many personalized and thoughtful touches throughout the entire experience along the way.
Misumi — My go-to lash & nail salon that never disappoints. Their lash technique never disappoints.
Dandelion — A mainstay beauty studio for nails and lashes.
Everlash — Another chain for nails and lashes with multiple locations across the city.
Treat — A comfortable beauty spot for nail treatments, with super comfortable settings that feel like an escape.

Navigating a crazy city like Jakarta takes a lot of patience, but with the right spots to fuel yourself, sweat it out, and recharge, I hope these spots leave you feeling ready to take on the city like they do for me!

The London List: Best Eats By Neighborhood

Nicole Jizhar — Sat, 20 Jun 2026 02:08:04 GMT

I moved to London after New York for my MBA at London Business School and it was, without question, one of the best chapters of my life. I lived in Marylebone which was directly across from Selfridges and a ten minute walk from campus. And in that time, I spent two years eating, drinking, and exploring every corner of that city! It was an absolute blast. I had the best memories, made incredible friendships, and absolutely fell in love with the city. It has a charm that is like no other.

London has a charm that’s hard to put into words. All the neighborhoods were just so memorable - Mayfair for some classy night outs, Shoreditch for some fun night outs, Fitzrovia for some casual nights, Notting Hill for some quiet neighborhood charm. Not to mention all the beautiful parks to walk around, all the second-to-none shopping, and the buzzy social scene. How I miss that city!

You can also find me on Instagram @nicolejizhar. Now let’s get into it.

Mayfair

La Petite Maison — My absolute favorite restaurant in London. Elevated but classic French food with the best sharing plates, an incredible wine list, and a room full of beautiful people to people watch. Always order the burrata, the tuna carpaccio, and whole fish.
Gymkhana — Michelin-starred Indian that has been one of London’s best tables for years. I like it for a nicer Indian dinner, compared to more casual Dishoom which is also a staple.
Sabor — Delicious Spanish restaurant in London. The counter seats upstairs watching the kitchen are the best seats in the house. The whole roasted suckling pig and the tortilla are excellent.
Hide — Three floors of modern European cooking from Chef Ollie Dabbous with one of the most best wine programs in the city. The above restaurant for the full tasting menu, or ground floor for cocktails and small plates.
Dukes Bar — The legendary bar for one of the best martinis in the world. They make it tableside, ice cold, and strong! A London rite of passage.

🔒 The Recs I Only Share With My Friends…

Paid subscribers get the rest of this guide, including more exclusive paid-only city guides like:

And all the other cities

You get the full archive, every city guide, and deep dives on all my lessons. For less than one coffee a month <3

Why Writing Is The Most "It-Girl" Thing You Can Do Online Right Now

Nicole Jizhar — Sat, 13 Jun 2026 09:05:33 GMT

Hear me out…

Opening Substack lately makes me feel a little bit like how I used to feel when I opened my Tumblr back in high school (throwback to the early 2000s!). Way back before the Instagrams and TikToks of the world started taking over our attention span. It was a different world back then.

Reading articles here feels a lot like a slower type of content. So different from the fast and subconscious endless scroll that we’re all sucked into these days.

And I miss that feeling of enjoying the “slow” scroll.

In a time where AI and short-form content have made everything so accessible at our fingertips, I feel like we all crave slowness more than ever. Or at least I do.

I’ve also been longing for creativity. Like true creativity.

Not just idea-maxxxing via Claude to churn out 50 Instagram hooks for the most viral reels or looking up how to apply TikTok trends to your niche.

It all starts to feel so… soulless.

What I’ve grown to enjoy is having a blank Substack page, a hot americano (with a side of steamed soy milk) and a slice of banana bread (like what I’m having exactly as I’m typing this right now) and just writing my free-flow thoughts. In the absence of ChatGPT, and in the absence of the noise from all the overwhelming short-form social media that I sometimes spend hours consuming.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of consuming instead of creating.

In a world where social media has started to feel like a performance, we forget that sometimes the best inspiration comes from within. When we get to tune out all the noise of the outside world and really look inside.

Which is why I’ve been loving this platform as a way to really express myself in content that feels infinitely more authentic.

What I loved here is opening people’s articles and being able to hear their voices when reading the pieces. Not to generalize, but here on Substack, I feel like I’ve found more writers who resist using AI to generate their content. Of course, that isn’t everyone. But I think there indeed are a lot of people (like myself) who crave authentic creativity that is rare to come by these days.

People using this platform almost like their digital journals. Writing and sharing their inner worlds.

It’s refreshing. And I think it’s the most "it-girl” thing to do on the internet right now (with no intention to twist it into “just another trend”).

On performing for social media…

What’s been turning me off “influencers” lately is just how performative everything has started to feel.

A lot of it feels so… fake.

Now everything feels optimized. Like it’s made “for the algorithm”. Engineered to be as addicting as possible and to be consumed with maximum engagement. Everyone is fighting for just a bit of air time in a world where attention feels so fleeting. There’s an overwhelming amount of information to consume.

Of course, I’m guilty too of losing track of time scrolling. The algorithm has gotten so good at getting you hooked. Time flies by without you even realizing.

But sometimes with the minutes and hours passing by, I end up feeling a little bit less and less connected. Ironic, isn’t it?

We’re all (fiercely) competing for the one thing that is finite and scarce.

People’s attention.

Can slow living online exist in this day and age?

For someone who loves the hustle, there’s a part of me that deeply craves slowness.

Remember the slow movement from years ago? Cereal magazine? And Kinfolk? Intentionally made print publications that made readers savor all the little in between moments in a life that couldn’t pause for two seconds.

In a world that optimizes for everything and never stops… I feel like we all miss that feeling.

To me, Substack doesn’t feel like a social media platform in the traditional sense.

I started making content for fun back in 2021, and just earlier this year started taking it more seriously (it was my 2026 new year’s resolution actually). And as much as I’ve been enjoying making content to share (mostly on my Instagram), there’s a part of me that misses life before caring about the algorithm. Especially after having a few reels go viral (I had multiple reels hit over 10M views), sometimes I found myself addicted to the algorithm. Like it was drip-feeding me dopamine with every like and follow.

What I love about Substack is that it gives me a chance to breathe and really create from within. I find myself seeking inspiration to write original pieces. Instead of looking for trends to copy.

There’s no pressure to post at the right time. Or to find the best trending audio. Or to craft the highest-retention hook for the first three seconds.

Here on Substack, it’s hard to doom scroll. Let’s be real, long-form isn’t made for doom-scrolling. I get to consciously choose what I consume. Although let’s be honest, my saved folder is getting a bit out of hand too now because there’s a lot in my queue that I want to read ;)

But when I do read it all, what I love is the feeling that what I’m reading is something that the writer consciously wanted to put out in the world.

You can sense it in the writing.

My favorite pieces are usually the ones where you can sense that someone really sat down and had a long think about what they wanted to say.

Just like I am as I’m typing this right now at my favorite neighborhood coffee shop on a slower (and more intentional) weekend morning.

Hope you can feel it too.

And if you’re convinced to Substack now…

I started Notes from Nicole because I felt like there was a lot more substance I wanted to put out into the world that didn’t fit in a 90-second Instagram reel or 2,200-character caption limit.

I wanted to create something that a reader could appreciate and remember for more than a split second.

So here’s to celebrating more “slow content” - the long read.

And if you’re wanting to dedicate more time to nurturing your Substack, I found this video helpful to get me started on this platform:

If this resonated, subscribe to my Substack for more and find me on instagram at @nicolejizhar.

Stop Measuring Your Life Against Someone Else’s Timeline

Nicole Jizhar — Sun, 07 Jun 2026 11:43:59 GMT

The other day, someone asked me if I had ever felt left out for not having kids yet (I’m 31 btw).

I guess it was a fair question. Most of my friends are already on their second kid.

Granted, I’m in Asia right now. People tend to marry and have children younger than in the West. But even when I look at a lot of my friends in New York and London, many are on the cusp of their first (or second) pregnancies too.

The question didn’t even surprise me. Naturally, it gets asked a lot. And if it wasn’t a question about having kids, it would be a question about getting married (to my unmarried friends) or about other big milestones like moving back home.

But with all these questions being asked so easily, whose timeline are we really on?

The myth of the timeline

We live in a society that has decided when things are supposed to happen for us.

Finish school by 22.
Land the right job after college.
Meet your person by your mid-20s and get married before you turn 30.
Have children before your mid-30s because your biological clock is ticking.
Make your mark and have it all figured out before settling down.

Social media has made it exponentially worse.

Our Instagram feeds are curated highlight reels of everyone else’s milestones. The surprise engagement proposals, over-the-top weddings, baby announcements, and promotions.

It can make you feel like you’re behind.

The timelines that society pushes on us can feel like they were from a different era, back when careers were more linear, and the options available to us (especially to women!) were a lot narrower.

Times have changed.

You’re not behind… You’re right on time.

Despite all the timelines that society tends to compare us to, here’s what the research actually shows.

The average woman makes a career pivot at 39. Starts her business at 42. Hits her creative peak between 45 and 55. And despite all the pressure we see from the Forbes 30 Under 30 features, in reality, the average age of a successful startup founder is 45 (not 25).

Here are some more examples.

Julia Child didn’t publish her first cookbook until she was 49.
Vera Wang didn’t design her first wedding dress until she was 40.
Arianna Huffington launched The Huffington Post at 55.

You really never know when life will unfold the most extraordinary milestones for YOU. Not on society’s timelines. Truly, on your own.

On relationships

I feel like the timeline pressure is especially loud when it comes to love.

“Why are you still single?”

“When are you planning to get married?”

“Don’t wait too long, your clock is ticking!”

Settling for someone just to appease society’s timeline is one of the most expensive decisions you can make in your life.

Don’t rush into relationships just because the schedule is telling you to. I’ve heard it again and again: the person you choose to marry will have the single greatest impact on the rest of your life (career, health, happiness, growth, etc.).

Research shows that people who marry later (after establishing their own identities, values, and independence) have higher marital satisfaction and lower divorce rates.

The right person is worth waiting for.

On careers

It’s never too late to pivot.

I see a lot of successful people stuck in unfulfilling careers because they feel like it’s too late to try something else. They get stuck in the sunk cost fallacy, thinking that it’s not worth walking away from something that they’ve already invested so much time and energy into, despite it being no longer aligned.

The reality is, there are highly transferrable skills across any career path. A lawyer brings analytical thinking and persuasion. A teacher brings communication and mentorship. A marketer brings storytelling and customer insight. Skills compound. Experience accumulates.

There’s this podcast that I love by Hillary Kerr (cofounder of Who What Wear) called “The Second Life” about successful women who made major career pivots, using skills from their first lives to build their second.

One thing I’ve taken away from it is that for a lot of people, the second act is often better than the first. Often because the second one is chosen deliberately with more clarity, and with less fear of what others think.

If you are unsatisfied with your current path (be it your job, relationship, city, etc.), just remember that you are never too late.

Eff the timeline

Some of the most fulfilled people I know are the ones who said eff-it to society’s version of “the right timeline”.

When I was still at college in Wharton, a lot of my classmates had already achieved so many things, even during their high school years before stepping onto campus. At a place like Penn, you were surrounded by the best and the brightest. It was overachiever central. Haha.

But funny enough, years after college, I’ve also seen a lot of those same people have an awakening in their 30s to rewrite their paths. The ones with ten job offers lined up at graduation realized the life they’d been building wasn’t actually the one they wanted. When you’re that young, and don’t really know what you want in life, sometimes you can unknowingly fall into the trap of following society’s timeline. Following expectations, instead of listening to what you truly want in your own time.

On the other hand, there were a lot of people who seemed lost, but really took the time to figure out the chapters that beautifully unfolded for them to find their own alignment on their own timeline.

And whether it’s searching for your path from an early age, or wanting to take a detour later on in life, there’s no such thing as the “right” timeline. Only the one you write with your own unique chapters.

Your life, your timeline

The chapters that go down winding roads make for the most interesting stories.

Life is not a race to a finish line.

It’s a series of chapters, and the books with the most unexpected chapters make for the most colorful stories.

You are not behind. You’re on your own timeline. Embrace it fully.

What Nobody Tells You About Graduating From an Ivy League

Nicole Jizhar — Mon, 01 Jun 2026 01:43:56 GMT

Penn’s longstanding Hey Day tradition (photo circa 1990’s)

I just got back from my 10 year college reunion at Penn.

It was a strange feeling. So many things were the same - like the buildings, some professors, and even the smell of Locust walk. But so many things were different - all the faces, a whole new generation of students, and what was definitely different was also… myself.

Wharton Reunion 2026, Huntsman Hall

It was my first time being back since graduation. And it felt great being nostalgic all weekend long. Reminiscing all the moments that took place back on campus during those formative years.

And I think I arguably went to college (2012-2016) during some of the best years to have gone to college. Back when social media was just picking up - just enough to help connect us and get information around (back then Facebook events was still a very effective way to invite people to parties!), but not enough to consume us. The only #selfies people were obsessing over were when the Chainsmokers told us to. People connected more offline than they did online. Nobody was doing things just to post them. And it was bliss. The best years.

Fast forward 10 years later, the world has changed. Including myself. I had moved and lived across 3 continents in multiple cities - New York, London and now Jakarta. I worked at one of the biggest banks in the world. I built and exited my femtech startup. I went to B school. I oversaw many different functions in my role as an exec at my current company. And throughout it all, I’ve tried to give back to the school that gave me so much, like by helping plan my class reunion this year and by leading as the President of my country’s alumni association for the past four years. My time at Penn set the foundation for it all.

An Ivy League degree was helpful. It opened doors, built credibility, and put me in rooms I wouldn’t otherwise have been in. But what was even more invaluable were all the lessons along the way. The relationships. The detours. The grit.

If I could go back and give my 18-year old self advice, these are the lessons I’d share, 10 years later…

10 Lessons from 10 Years Out of Wharton

1. Your GPA matters for only two years. Then nobody cares.

I remember many late nights cramming until 3am before exams. And still managed to graduate magna cum laude with multiple years on the Dean’s List. But the thing is, your GPA has a surprisingly short shelf life in the real world.

Fisher Fine Arts Library - My favorite library on campus.

After your first job, nobody bothers to ask. What they ask about are all the experiences that came after. What you built, led, and did.

You can rewrite your story at any point in your life. Life is long and full of chapters. It’s never too late to start a new one.

2. Your network is your net worth.

Meet everyone. Befriend everyone. You never know where the person you were about to ignore in line at the dining hall might end up years later.

Honestly, the network is the most valuable thing Wharton gives you. At reunion, talking to everyone and seeing where they are now made me so proud of how far we’ve all come.

And never underestimate the power of weak ties. It’s often not your closest friends who help you open the most important doors.

3. Stop treating networking like networking.

At Wharton, we were trained to be master networkers like it was a competitive sport. We were taught how to look and speak the part through endless info sessions, coffee chats, and OCR (on-campus recruitment) with the Goldmans and McKinseys of the world before we even fully understood what we were signing up for.

No wonder networking gets a bad rap.

The people I’ve watched build the most meaningful careers and the most valuable networks are the ones who never treated networking like a transaction. They built genuine relationships. It’s easy to tell them apart.

Stop networking. Start connecting.

4. Invest in your relationships.

Even ten years out, reconnecting with old friends feels like no time has passed.

Make time for people even when life gets busy. And we all get busy. Everyone I know has ended up in such inspiring roles, juggling a million things.

And especially since so many people move all over the world after college — a quick message or call matters more than you think. I put recurring events in my calendar to FaceTime long-distance friends, since I have a lot of them after living in so many different cities and meeting people from all over the world.

5. Be a forever learner.

Continue having a student’s mindset throughout life after school.

The world never stops changing. It takes work to keep up. A lot of what we learned in lecture halls may now be obsolete. Keep learning. Or become irrelevant.

Stay curious. Continue learning new skills. Find good mentors. Train your leadership muscle. Pick up new hobbies or a new language. Work on yourself - mind, body, spirit. Keep leveling up.

Your degree is not the end of your education. It’s just the start.

6. The career you planned at 22…

May not be the one you actually end up doing. And that’s ok. Be open to it.

The path I mapped out in my first year at Wharton looks almost nothing like the one I’m actually on. Who would have thought that I would stay in New York for as much time as I did. And that I would move to London after. And that I would marry someone who I met while I was working at my first job out of college. And that I would’ve built an impactful femtech startup.

The world is full of surprises. And trust me, God’s plans > our plans.

Franklin Field, UPenn

7. The unconventional path is underrated.

The people who went down the most unconventional paths ended up having the most fulfilling careers. These are the same people who were probably feeling insecure for resisting the same track that everyone else was going down (aka finance or consulting).

It’s ok. Be yourself. Don’t do something just because everyone else is.

After reconnecting with friends at reunion, I noticed that a lot of people who did something just because everyone else did ended up pivoting back to what actually made their hearts sing. And those that followed their hearts from the get go? They were flying and doing such incredible things.

You do you.

College Hall, UPenn

8. Everyone has a different definition of success.

For some, it looks like making MD. For others, it may look like stepping away from the impressive job that was “the right thing to do” so that they could pursue something more personally meaningful.

For no two people will success look the same.

The sooner you stop chasing what other people define as success, the faster you find your own definition of it… (continued #9)

9. … And everyone figures it out on their own timeline.

Different people take different amounts of time to figure out what their version of success looks like. Everyone has their own timeline.

Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.

I was chatting with a friend during reunion who, back in college, was the most accomplished person who looked like she had everything together. She graduated with a line up of job offers from all 3 of the big investment banks, and then some. But a decade later, she had just quit her job and was soul searching.

The person who seemed the most lost in college might be the most fulfilled in his/her 30’s. And the one who thought they had it all figured out at graduation might be the one quietly questioning everything mid-life.

And that’s ok. Figure out your version of success, on your own time.

And there is always time. Better late than never.

10. The moments you’ll miss most are the ones you took for granted.

It’s always those in-between moments that you didn’t even think about in the moment. The morning walks down Locust Walk. The late nights in Huntsman (or Smokes haha). The small talk with the random friend you bump into on campus. The strolls down across the Schuylkill to Center City.

In life, don’t forget to appreciate every passing day. Nothing lasts forever. So be present for the moment.

The Dueling Tampons, UPenn

If this resonated — share it with a friend. And if you’re a Wharton or Penn alum too, I’d love to know what your lessons were too.

The Sydney List: Where To Eat, Swim & Stay

Nicole Jizhar — Wed, 27 May 2026 00:30:24 GMT

It had been over fifteen years since I was last in Sydney. The last time, I was still a kid on a trip with my family, taking all the sites in with fresh eyes.

Going back as an adult with Matt for a long weekend escape from Jakarta (and not to mention also for an Olivia Dean concert at the Fleet Steps — gah I LOVEE her!) felt like meeting a city for the first time all over again. Amazinggg food, incredible coffee, delicious pastries, beautiful views, recharging beaches, and lots of shopping too. The only downside is that it was too short! We packed three days with as much as we could do and still left with a list of places we still want to go. We’ll just have to save it for next time.

Here are all my favorite spots after curation from recommendations I received from some Sydney locals. We really packed it in and go to see the best of the best.

You can also find me on Instagram @nicolejizhar. Now let’s get into it.

Day 1 — Sydney Classics

Started the morning revisiting some classics and walking all over the city.

Sydney Opera House
Sydney Harbour Bridge

We stayed mostly around the CBD that first day, so made the most out of the classic food and shopping staples between sightseeing.

For shopping, we loved wandering around George Street with all the big brands and also stopping into the iconic Queen Victoria Building (QVB) which had beautiful Romanesque style architecture and spanned an entire city block. By the way, take advantage of the tax-free shopping! Some international brands can be cheaper in Australia because of the regional pricing and tax refunds (for example Lululemon can be 15-20% cheaper than in the U.S.) - girl math!

Favorite Bakeries & Coffee Stops

AP Bakery — One of the most talked-about bakeries in Sydney right now. The laminated pastries are exceptional. We loved the muffaletta sandwich as our breakfast upon arrival to Sydney in the morning.
Paramount Coffee Project — Specialty coffee in a beautifully designed space in Surry Hills. One of the best flat whites I had on the trip.
Bourke Street Bakery — The Sydney institution for sourdough, pies, and pastries. Multiple locations but the original is the one located in Surry Hills.
Flour and Stone — Refined, elegant pastries in a small shop in Woolloomooloo. The cakes are delicious and beautiful.

🔒 The Recs I Only Share With My Friends…

Paid subscribers get the rest of this guide, including more exclusive paid-only city guides like:

And all the other cities

You get the full archive, every city guide, and deep dives on all my lessons. For less than one coffee a month <3

The Chicago List: Best Restaurants & Hidden Gems

Nicole Jizhar — Sat, 23 May 2026 12:18:41 GMT

Over the years doing long distance with Matt, I visited Chicago time and time again - falling more and more in LOVE with the city after each visit.

The city is just beautiful - the architecture, the lake, the neighborhoods… I always told Matt that it reminds me of a hybrid between New York and London - the city feel of New York but the charm of London. Busy, but not chaotic. Ambitious, yet still grounded.

We’ve had our fair share of favorite memories in Chicago too. Late night walks along the river, hibernating during the winters, getting Jeni’s ice cream during the summers, our parents meeting for the first time, and of course, our engagement…

So it’s safe to say that this city has a special place in my heart! Here’s everything I’d send to a friend visiting Chicago.

You can also find me on Instagram @nicolejizhar. Now let’s get into it.

American

Au Cheval — My favorite burgers in town! Decadent Chicago-style smash burgers in a dimly lit west loop diner. Always get it with the oozy fried egg on top. No reservations, just show up and wait.
Joe’s Seafood — A Chicago classic for the best stone crab claws and seafood in the city. Great for a special occasion or when you want something reliable.
Daisies — Michelin Bib Gourmand Italian spot in Logan Square with the best house-made pasta and an obsessive commitment to seasonal, local ingredients. Matt and I love going for breakfast too. They have amazing pastries in the morning.
The Loyalist — Cozy West Loop neighborhood bar tucked downstairs from the three-Michelin-starred Smyth. The cheeseburger is one of the best in town. Great for a casual dinner when you want something low-key.
3 Arts Club Café (RH) — One of the most beautiful dining rooms in Chicago, set inside Restoration Hardware’s landmark Wicker Park space. Come for the arched ceilings and candlelights as much as the food! Such a vibe.
Girl & the Goat — Stephanie Izard’s legendary West Loop restaurant that never gets old. Michelin Bib Gourmand.
Gilt Bar — A classic River North bar and restaurant with great craft cocktails and an elevated American menu. The bone marrow, steak tartare and pastas are go-to orders. The downstairs Library is one of the best hidden rooms in the city for a cocktail.

Italian & Mediterranean

Monteverde — Sarah Grueneberg’s West Loop pasta destination and one of the best Italian restaurants in Chicago. A go-to for me and Matt every time we are in the city. All the pastas are excellent, and we love the burrata & ham.
Ciccio Mio — The same Hogsalt group behind Bavette’s and Gilt Bar, with Italian-Mediterranean menu. Great for dinner with a group!
Rose Mary — Chef Joe Flamm’s Italian spot Fulton Market. The pastas and whole fish are exceptional.
Avec — The West Loop wine bar that helped define Chicago’s small plates scene. A reliable spot for communal dining, natural wine, and chorizo-stuffed Medjool dates!

🔒 The Recs I Only Share With My Friends…

Paid subscribers get the rest of this guide, including more exclusive paid-only city guides like:

And all the other cities

You get the full archive, every city guide, and deep dives on all my lessons. For less than one coffee a month <3

The NYC List: Best Eats By Neighborhood

Nicole Jizhar — Mon, 18 May 2026 13:58:19 GMT

I lived in New York City after undergrad for my first job out of school - and boy did I make the most out of my time (and waistline) there. It feels like I lived a hundred lives in that city.

I published my first version of the NYC Hot List back in 2019, but since then there have been countless new openings and closures (especially after COVID). So here’s my updated list as of today: Updated NYC Guide.

You can also find me on Instagram @nicolejizhar. Now let’s get into it.

Soho & Tribeca

Torrisi — One of the newer Italian-American spots by Major Food Group (same group as Carbone). All the pastas were delicious. And they have a great bar program too. Has a Michelin star and a long waitlist, so reserve far in advance.
Estela — Michelin-starred Mediterranean-leaning small plates. I love their cookbook too. Their beef tartare with sunchoke has been a mainstay on the menu for years. I remember celebrating Matt’s birthday here years ago so this was a special date spot for us.
Balthazar — Iconic high-energy French brasserie. A classic spot to go to for breakfast/brunch that gets busy quickly. Sometimes I just go to the bakery to pick stuff up on the go. Love their croissants and cookies.
Bond St — Trendy, sleek sushi and Japanese spot in Noho. Used to come here a lot with my coworker for sushi, black cod, and lychee martinis.
Raku — Japanese udon noodle shop. My favorite comfort food with my best friend, we used to go here a lot during the winter because the soup felt like a warm hug.
La Cabra — Popular Danish bakery and coffee roastery (Soho location) with an aesthetic counter and a great selection of sweet treats. Love the cardamom knot and canele. Go early, it gets crowded.
Ruby’s / Little Ruby’s Cafe — A classic Australian spot that I love to go to for brunch. There was a time 5 years ago when Aussie cafes were super hot (Little Collins, Two Hands, Banter, etc.) but this one has been the one that remained a mainstay over the years.
Jungsik — One of my favorite fine dining in the city with 3-Michelin stars. Matt and I think that Korean food has taken over as some of the best fine dining spots in the city (and world). Took my picky parents here and they loved it too.
Le Coucou — Pretty Michelin-starred French restaurant with good food and a beautiful aesthetic. I usually stay at 11 Howard when I travel to the city on my own, and this restaurant is part of the hotel.
Au Cheval — Decadent Chicago-style burgers tucked away in Cortlandt Alley. Always get it with the oozy fried egg on top.
Charlie Bird — A cosy & chic Italian restaurant that’s been a mainstay for years. Great pasta and wine. I would come here after work with my colleagues for the best cacio e pepe.
La Mercerie — Beautiful French café set inside the Roman and Williams Guild design store. I love to come here for crepes and coffee for breakfast, and then roam around the shop after for pretty home pieces.
Locanda Verde — Another long standing Tribeca Italian staple by Andrew Carmellini. I love going for brunch and then going for a nice stroll around the neighborhood after.
Wayan — Modern French-Indonesian restaurant for when I want a bougie taste of home. It’s got a lot of fun twists on my Indonesian staple foods, like lobster mie goreng and a lot of Southeast Asian inspired desserts.
Levain Bakery — Matt’s all-time favorite cookies! No explanation needed. I love the chocolate chip walnut cookie, but they also have tasty seasonal specials like lemon cookies in the spring!
Maman — My go-to rustic café for matcha, coffee, healthy brunch and pastries. Their cookies and quiches are my favorite. Lots of locations around the city now, but the Soho one is the prettiest!
Van Leeuwen — Brooklyn-based ice cream shop that’s now available everywhere. It’s my go-to artisan ice cream in the city because of all the fun flavors and vegan options. I love the brown butter almond brittle ice cream.

West Village

Via Carota — One of my go-to restaurants in the city. Cozy, rustic Italian dining in NYC and great al-fresco outdoors during the summer. It’s got a lot of vegetable-forward dishes. I love the mushrooms. Their CEP and wine list are also fantastic.
Don Angie — Modern, creative Italian-American restaurant that you probably know from the viral pinwheel lasagna. Lots of comforting pasta dishes here.
4 Charles Prime Rib — One of my favorites when I used to live in the city and was craving some meat. Dark & moody masculine interior with the best prime rib and burgers.
I Sodi — Tuscan dining with a pasta menu full of favorites. Used to be super hard to get into because of its intimate space, but now has expanded into a larger space.
L’Artusi — One of the iconic West Village staples for the best pasta and wine. Must get the pici cacio e pepe. I also LOVE the olive oil cake for dessert. You can’t miss this one.
Carbone — The legendary, theatrical Italian-American red-sauce powerhouse. Obviously have to get the spicy rigatoni vodka!
Wild Cherry — The cinematic new supper club and bar collaboration inside the iconic Cherry Lane Theatre. They have a fun cocktail program and tasting menu.
Buvette — Another staple for a good breakfast in the city. Feels like a little slice of Paris in the middle of WV. Amazing for breakfast, espresso, and their amazing egg dishes. I love their outdoor area if you can snag a table there.
Joseph Leonard — Charming, tiny neighborhood bistro serving comforting American classics.
Fellini — The iconic, tiny corner Italian espresso and aperitivo bar. Great for an afternoon aperol spritz!
Semma — Tasty & fiery Southern Indian cuisine with a Michelin star! Definitely brings the heat.
Mama’s Too! — The legendary square slice pizza spot’s Street outpost. Try the white clam pizza!
Joe’s Pizza — The famous, quick-slice Greenwich Village institution on Carmine St. Not the best in the city, but the most famous mainstay.
Mah-Ze-Dahr — Refined pastries and bakery treats that used to have a cute WV outpost. Love the burnt honey cake.
Employees Only — The classic, hidden speakeasy pioneer of the NYC cocktail scene.
Dante — Greenwich Village bar-café, perfect for an afternoon negroni or happy hour.

East Village

Jua — Wood-fired, Michelin-starred Korean tasting menu. One of the best fine dining in the city.
Claud — Sleek, popular neighborhood natural wine bar with sophisticated plates.
Ruffian — One of my favorite natural wine bars that is very intimate and has a lot of tasty small plates to share. Lots of special seasonal vegetable options.
Double Chicken Please — Cocktail bar with creative drinks menu and iconic hot honey chicken sandwiches! The drinks are inspired by dishes like french toast, melon prosciutto, and cold noodles!
Penny — Seafood counter and raw bar located right above Claud. Perfect for an oyster & crudo fix in the summer.
Kanoyama — One of my go-to neighborhood sushi spots for date night with Matt. Reliable, high-quality, and authentic sushi in the east village. They have a la carte on one side of the restaurant, and an omakase bar tucked in the other side.
Shabu Tatsu — A nostalgic Japanese shabu-shabu and sukiyaki spot, perfect for a comfort meal in the winter.
Momofuku Noodle Bar — David Chang’s original, iconic pork bun, bo ssam, and ramen destination. His Momofuku group has since become iconic, including their Milk Bar with the famous cereal milk ice cream and range of cookies.
Attaboy — One of my favorite cocktail bars in the city that is fully bespoke and does not have a menu. Super special and one of a kind. The drinks are fully custom based on your preferences, and they always hit the spot.
Death & Co — The legendary cocktail bar that helped launch the modern craft cocktail revival.

Lower East Side

Kabawa — Modern Caribbean tasting menu helmed by Chef Paul Carmichael.
Katz’s Delicatessen — The world-famous best pastrami sandwich! My dad loves coming here every time. We love the pastrami and corned beef on rye with lots of mustard and pickles. Truly a must go.
Russ & Daughters — The legendary breakfast shop for smoked fish, bagels, and caviar.
Apollo Bagels — A newer bagel staple for artisanal sourdough bagels with classic toppings.
Xi’an Famous Foods — Spicy, hand-pulled cumin lamb noodles. Great for when you’re craving a kick! Used to live across the street from one and it was comfort food.
Pig & Khao — Fun, high-energy Southeast Asian street food and bottomless tap beer.
Kiki’s — No-nonsense, bustling Greek taverna plates. Love the zucchini chips, grilled octopus, and fish.

Flatiron, Gramercy & Union Square

Eleven Madison Park — The world-famous, 3-Michelin starred plant-forward fine dining icon overlooking Madison Square Park. They went fully plant-based but then returned to incorporating meat in their menu in 2025. Consistently ranked as #1 restaurant in the world for years. Fun fact, it was my last lunch meal before heading to the airport when I left NYC to move to London.
Gramercy Tavern — Michelin-starred fine yet homey American restaurant that’s been a mainstay for years. My family and I love this place. There’s a front section that is more casual and back section that has a tasting menu. Love the burgers in the front section.
Rezdôra — Exquisite, house-made Michelin-starred Emilia-Romagna pastas. They have a pasta tasting menu and a la carte options too focused on handmade pastas.
Cosme — Upscale contemporary Mexican dining by Chef Enrique Olvera (chef-owner of Pujol in Mexico City) who redefined fine Mexican cuisine.
Union Square Cafe — Danny Meyer’s classic neighborhood institution. An icon. Matt and I did part of our pre-wedding photo-shoot here with their burger, aka possibly my favorite elevated burger in the city (part of the same Union Square Hospitality Group as Shake Shack).
ABC Kitchen — Chic, farm-to-table organic dining by Jean-Georges in ABC Home. Love coming here for their pizza and salads, and then going for a stroll around ABC Home for some home decor trinkets.
Casa Mono — One-starred Spanish tapas bar on Irving Place. Fun fact, this is where Matt and my parents first met for our first meal together way back when! Always been a classic for tapas.
Daily Provisions — Home of the legendary maple cruller, great sandwiches, and morning coffee. A comfort spot in the neighborhood for a good breakfast catch up with a friend.
Breads Bakery — The absolute best chocolate babka in NYC (Union Square flagship). A must-eat for every time I’m in the area. I love their almost croissant, rugelach, and palmiers too.
Shake Shack — The original Shake Shack location in Madison Square Park where it all started. Perfect for the best classic fast burger that you can enjoy outdoors in the park when it’s warm out. Also love their fun seasonal hand-spun shakes.

NoMad & Koreatown

Atomix — Highly coveted 2-Michelin-starred Korean tasting menu that is consistently ranked among the best in the world. Another example of how Korean cuisine has been taking over the fine dining scene, and this one might be the best.
Atoboy — The more accessible sibling of Atomix serving creative, modern Korean small plates served family-style. A go-to dinner spot that I went to with my best friend.
Cote Korean Steakhouse — Michelin-starred Korean BBQ with an exceptional wine program. The butcher’s feast with prime cuts and all the banchan is delicious! Not the most authentic, but definitely an upscale take on KBBQ.
Jongro KBBQ — My go-to authentic, bustling, retro K-BBQ spot in K-town for when you want the real deal. Super tasty meats!
Scarpetta — Italian dining famous for its classic spaghetti dishes with tomato and basil. Simple and iconic! Lived nearby so loved going there.
Cafe Panna — A tiny gem on the Rose Hill/Gramercy border serving the best rich Italian-style gelato and affogatos. The flavors are so tasty and some of the best gelato I’ve ever had.

Midtown & Hell’s Kitchen

Le Bernardin — Eric Ripert's legendary three-Michelin-starred French fine dining institution that has held its stars for over twenty years. The most technically precise seafood cooking in the city! So good!
Chef’s Table at Brooklyn Fare — Intimade Japanese-French tasting menu counter for 18 guests, located in Hell’s Kitchen tucked behind a grocery store. One of the most unique and intimate dining experiences in the city.
Sushi Yasuda — Authentic and failsafe sushi spot in Midtown. A classic omakase experience that lets the fish speak for itself.
The Grill — Incredible steak & prime rib restaurant part of Major Food Groups located inside the iconic Seagram Building. The mid-century style dining room is half the experience — it’s one of the most beautiful dining rooms in the city.
Estiatorio Milos — A go-to upscale Greek restaurant with the best zucchini chips I’ve ever had. The whole fish and lobster pastas are also spectacular.
Mala Project — Fiery Mala dry pot for when I’m craving something hot and spicy! You can customize the dry pot fillings and spice level, but I love the mouth-numbing mala kick!
Pure Thai Cookhouse — The best authentic Thai food in the city. Located in Hell’s Kitchen and tucked away in a no-frills nook that punches way above its weight — the pad see ew and boat noodles are so good.
Ess-a-Bagel — The iconic classic, old-school New York style bagels. The everything with lox and cream cheese is a non-negotiable New York ritual.

Uptown (UWS & UES)

Daniel — World-class, jackets-required French fine dining at 65th and Park on the Upper East Side. One of the great institutions of New York dining. This was where I went with my parents to celebrate high school graduation before starting university.
Per Se — Thomas Keller’s legendary three-Michelin-starred French-American fine dining institution overlooking Columbus Circle. The oysters and pearls dish is one of the most famous in the country.
Masa — Masa Takayama’s sushi omakase — the fish is flown in fresh from Japan daily. One of the most pricy omakases in the city, but so good for a special occasion.
Tatiana by Kwame Onwuachi — Inside Lincoln Center, serving incredible modern Afro-Caribbean cuisine. NYT’s number one restaurant two years in a row — the oxtail dumplings and jerk lamb chops are so good.
Barney Greengrass — Classic Upper West Side smoked fish and bagel legend open since 1908. The sturgeon scrambled eggs is a New York institution on a plate.

Brooklyn

The Four Horsemen — My favorite date night spot with Matt. It’s an intimate natural wine bar in Williamsburg with a Michelin star, and the food menu is so memorable as well. Always super busy and have to book ahead or go early/late.
I Cavallini — Refined neighborhood Italian dining from the same group as Four Horsemen. A slightly quieter, equally excellent sibling — great for a more intimate dinner.
Theodora — Mediterranean spot serving wood-fired seafood and natural wine in Fort Greene. One of the best newer restaurants in Brooklyn — the whole fish and grilled octopus are both exceptional. Matt and I went to celebrate NYE dinner here.
Lilia — Missy Robbins’ iconic, notoriously hard-to-book Williamsburg pasta destination. The agnolotti dal plin is one of the great pasta dishes in New York — worth every effort to get a reservation.
Misi — Missy Robbins’ second restaurant in South Williamsburg, focused entirely on pasta and vegetable antipasti. More minimal and shape-focused than Lilia. Known for their iconic whipped ricotta toast!
Oxomoco — Fun Michelin-starred wood-fired Mexican in Greenpoint. Great food, tacos, oysters and a delicious cocktail menu too.
Peter Luger — The historic, cash-only Williamsburg steakhouse legend open since 1887. The porterhouse for two is a must-order.
L’Industrie Pizzeria — The best artisanal pizza slices in Brooklyn. The burrata slice is so good.
Miss Ada — Vibrant modern Israeli cuisine served in a beautiful Fort Greene backyard garden. One of the most charming dining experiences in Brooklyn — the hummus and whole roasted cauliflower are excellent.
Win Son — Creative Taiwanese-American bakery and café in Williamsburg. A neighborhood gem that does things with Taiwanese flavors that you won’t find anywhere else — the scallion pancake breakfast sandwich is a must.

Outside NYC

Blue Hill at Stone Barns — One of the best farm-to-table dining experiences in the country, set on a working farm and estate in Pocantico Hills, Westchester — about 30 miles north of Grand Central via Metro-North to Tarrytown. Worth the trip for sure.

How To Manage Your Time Like a CEO

Nicole Jizhar — Sun, 10 May 2026 03:07:43 GMT

Most people are not actually bad at time management. They’re bad at deciding what their time is for.

And as someone who’s worked with

a lot of people and seen both sides of the spectrum — the ones who have achieved a lot of great things while juggling multiple roles, and the ones who struggle doing it all — what separates them is clear: the way they treat their time.

Throughout my career, I’ve been hyper-observant of the role models I admired who were able to “do it all.” I paid attention to how the most effective executives I’ve worked with treat their time. Not the busiest ones. The most effective ones. They treat time like the valuable resource it actually is and make decisions accordingly.

Here’s what that actually looks like in practice…

1. Your calendar is a values document, not a scheduling tool

They say that “the key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule but to schedule your priorities” and that’s the secret I see a lot of successful CEOs doing.

Whatever is in your calendar is what you’re actually prioritizing.

I put everything in my calendar. I live and breathe by it everyday. If it isn’t there, I’m not doing it — workouts, meetings, focus time, dinner appointments, and even daily recurring time slots for my morning and evening routines (I know, it’s a lot!). But for me, what gets scheduled = gets done!

The most effective leaders I know block their non-negotiables first, before anything else goes in.

2. The most valuable thing in your calendar = what isn’t there

Everyone talks about what to schedule. Nobody talks about the white space between things and it’s the most valuable real estate in your calendar!

Buffer time leaves room for processing, integrating, and preparing…

In my early years of being a corporate exec, I used to PACK my calendar back-to-back with no breaks from 9am to 6pm. By the end of the evening, I was exhausted. Heck, by the last few meetings of the day, I was not contributing my sharpest A-game the way I did when I was fresher earlier in the day. And with meetings having a tendency to run overtime, the frequent domino effect kept me in a chaotic catch- up mode all day long.

These days, little breaks between the day help prevent decision fatigue and make sure I maintain my sharpness so I can show up CONSISTENTLY. Remember, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. So protect the white space.

3. Stop using a to-do list as a time management system

Spoiler alert, a to-do list won’t work.

A to-do list tells you what needs to happen. A time block on your calendar tells you when it will actually happen.

I used to be guilty of rolling my to-do list over week to week, and then always getting things delayed. But now, the way I do it is simple. I maintain a quick note on my Notion with my scrappy reminders, then I digest it and move things over to my calendar as time blocks — and remove them from the temporary list.

If something matters enough to be on your list, it deserves a spot in your calendar. A block of time, sized appropriately, that you can use to make sure to get it done.

This is how time-blocking works and it is the single highest-leverage habit I’ve seen consistently in effective people to make sure things get done!

4. BATCH your work like a professional

Context-switching is expensive. Every time you switch activities, it creates friction. Like when you’re moving from deep thinking to fending off emails to a meeting to a phone call and back to deep thinking. Every transition takes a toll on your momentum and energy.

Research show that it can take up to 23 minutes to fully regain focus after an interruption. Multiply that across a typical workday and you start to understand why having frequent interruptions can make you inefficient.

I swear by batching. I group similar types of work into dedicated windows. And you can align it with your red/yellow/green zones too, to make sure that you’re batching activities that are aligned with your natural energy zones. I’ll share more about that in a separate post.

An example of how it might look for me is:

Deep work in the morning — when cognitive capacity is high and interruptions are minimal
Meetings and calls consolidated into mid-morning through afternoon — rather than scattered across the day
Email and admin in the evening — when interactions with colleagues are naturally winding down
Content filming and editing over the weekend — instead of throughout the week

This takes negotiation and coordination. But the productivity gain is worth it.

5. Learn to SAY NO

There’s one particular close friend of mine that comes to mind for being the one who used to always remind me to be able to SAY NO. She was the one who reminded me that I did not have to add “spin instructor” to my roster of roles while already juggling three: corporate exec, startup entrepreneur for my side hustle, and president of my alumni club. I used to be a YES-woman. I wanted to do everything. Maybe it’s one of the downsides of being a frantically ambitious multi-hyphenate.

But saying yes to everything and trying to do too much was taking a toll on all the white space (see point #2) and me-time I needed to recharge.

Every yes is a no to something else.

The people who manage their time most effectively are not the ones who do the most. They are the ones who are most deliberate about what they won’t do.

My dad has been ruthless about this, especially recently, declining meetings that don’t require his presence and encouraging his teams to cut unnecessary ones. One of the habits that crept up post-COVID was a rise in too many meetings. So let’s try to be more intentional about making sure we have just the right amount of them.

And outside of meetings, there are just so many other things that call for your attention. Non-stop events, opportunities, and obligations (especially for CEOs).

Saying no is a skill — and like all skills, it gets easier with practice. A clear, kind decline without excessive justification is more respectful of everyone’s time than a yes you can’t honor or don’t genuinely feel like.

Hopefully you have that friend that reminds you to “say no” just like I have mine.

6. Respect OTHER people’s time the way you want yours respected

This one doesn’t get talked about enough in time management conversations, which tend to be more self-focused. Effective time management is also about how you show up for other people’s time.

Arrive early for important meetings — my earliest mentors in my first jobs always told me that being on time = was being late. Especially for meetings with senior people or guests.

And on the flip side, try to avoid running over schedule too. When a meeting set for an hour bleeds into overtime, it has a knock-on domino effect on the rest of everyone else’s day. Especially for executives who already have packed back-to-back schedules. Time is money.

These aren’t grand gestures, but small, consistent acts that make you seen as reliable. And reliability is one of the most valuable professional currencies there is. How you treat other people’s time tells them exactly how much you value them.

7. Audit your calendar ruthlessly every week

I do this religiously every Sunday morning as part of my weekly reset to align my priorities for that week with what’s actually on the calendar. Maybe for you it’s at the end of the work week before you log off on Friday. Or maybe it’s the first thing you do Monday morning before the week begins.

Look at what’s coming. Are the priorities slotted in? What needs to be done, moved, or delegated? Where are the gaps you need to protect before someone fills them?

This weekly habit prevents most of the reactive chaos that makes weeks feel unmanageable to make sure that you’re able to keep running your week instead of being run by it.

Time management, at its core, is about presence. When your time is well-managed, you’re not just more efficient — you’re more available for the things that actually matter.

More present in the meetings you attend. More focused in the work you do. More genuinely there for the people you love.

I hope these practical tips help you realign your time so it’s truly serving your priorities.

The Indonesia List: Destinations Beyond Bali

Nicole Jizhar — Wed, 06 May 2026 15:41:37 GMT

I’ve lost count of how many times someone has asked me for Indonesia travel recommendations and meant “where in Bali should I go.”

And I get it. Bali is incredible. I love Bali! But there’s soooo much more that the country has to offer.

Indonesia is made up of over 17,000 islands. A wildly diverse archipelago of landscapes, cultures, and experiences that still surprises me, even after all these years. Across the archipelago you’ll find Hindu temples and Muslim mosques sitting side by side, Chinese heritage neighborhoods woven into coastal cities, and hundreds of distinct subcultures, languages, and traditions that exist nowhere else on earth. I mean you can even see the diversity celebrated in our national motto: Bhinneka Tunggal Ika (Unity in Diversity). Beautiful right?

And with all that diversity… No two islands feel the same. No two trips do either.

Some of the most unique (and untouched) destinations that the country has to offer lie outside of the obvious spots. And most people who don’t come from Indonesia may not even find them because they’re not as talked about as Bali.

I hope this is the guide that changes that….

Here’s an insider’s guide to all the best places to go for adventure, culture, and of course vitamin SEA!

You can also find me on Instagram @nicolejizhar. Now let’s get into it.

For Adventure

🌋 Bromo, East Java

Best for: A long weekend reset from Jakarta to go on an adventure.

I went on a friends trip and it was one of those trips that was just perfect to hang out with your closest friends — late nights by the campfire, early mornings in the jeep, post-dinner boardgames, long spa days… We spent a lot of time at the hotel, which had plenty to do — nature walks, picnics, campfires, yoga, birdwatching. It was an easy trip to and from, flying into Surabaya airport — which is a city I frequent a lot because I still have a lot of family there from my mom’s side!

You wake up at 3am for a jeep ride to the volcano in the dark and cold (better bundle up!) and start the trek up Mount Bromo while it’s still dark to catch sunrise at the top. Lots of stops along the way, with people drinking coffee and eating instant noodles. And then you get the reward at the top, watching a purple sky and the sun rising over the clouds and a sea of volcanic sand that stretches into the distance. Fun fact: I think the Sea of Sand was also one of the filming locations for the Teletubbies hill!

Where to stay:

Plataran Bromo

What to do:

Sunrise hike up Mount Bromo
Jeep ride across the Sea of Sand
Volcano crater viewpoints

🏕️ Banyuwangi, East Java

Best for: People who want a unique destination at the easternmost point of Java, just across the water from Bali.

If Bromo is awe, Banyuwangi is intensity!

We stayed at two different hotels here (one night each) because we wanted to try them out and they had completely different vibes. I fell in LOVE with Lintang Luku, it was so unique. It was, essentially, glamping. But sooo clean, magical, eco-friendly and not to mention the food was surprisingly a highlight of the trip. Every afternoon, they sent snacks like grilled corn on the cob to the room, in stainless steel containers that you usually take to go camping, with a side of piping hot tea in metal thermoses. Walking through the property was like wandering through a luscious green rainforest.

The highlight was obviously the trek to Mount Ijen. We left the hotel at 1:00am (yup, a very early dinner and evening the night before) and started our hike in the dark, wearing our sulfur masks and head torches, trekking alongside sulfur miners toward the crater of the volcano. And those sulfur miners who deserve a mention of their own. They carry loads of up to 90kg of solid sulfur up and down the volcano (by foot) multiple times a day, often without proper protective equipment, for very little pay.

This is one of the only places in the world where you can see the blue fire phenomenon, which is sulfuric gas combusting into electric blue flames inside a volcanic crater. Absolutely unreal. And then finally, the sun rises over the turquoise (sulfuric) crater lakes. It was raining when we were up there, which made it even more otherworldly.

Where to stay:

Lintang Luku Tent Resort
Dialoog Banyuwangi

What to do:

Mount Ijen hike
Blue fire (only visible before dawn)
Sulfur mines
Nearby waterfalls
Glamping

For Culture & Arts

🎨 Jogja (Yogyakarta), Central Java

Best for: Anyone craving culture, history, and a slower pace. Beautiful and grand temples, larger than life!

Jogja is the kind of city that makes you slow down. Not in a sleepy way, but in a calm, zen, meditative way. It's intellectual. Spiritual. Artistic. With ancient ruins and architecture from the Borobudur & Prabanan Temples, but also Indonesian artists exhibiting their work in galleries throughout the city. Even former president SBY now lives there in his retirement as an artist painting. I mean you can draw inspiration from everywhere here.

The highlight, of course, was Borobudur — a UNESCO World Heritage Site and the world’s largest Buddhist temple. I thought it would be a quick trip up and down, but the entire grounds were far more vast than I expected. You can wander through the complex, climb all the tiers, and lose yourself in the detail of thousands of relief panels. The best time to visit is during Waisak where thousands of lanterns are released into the night sky, but you do need to register for tickets in advance, so plan ahead if you want to experience it.

Then there’s Prambanan — equally stunning, Hindu instead of Buddhist. Smaller in scale and without the same sweeping grounds, but remarkable in its own way. It’s lovely to see the juxtaposition of so many different cultures and religions in this city, which mirrors the tolerance and diversity you see across the country as a whole.

Lots of good food too, but a tad too sweet for my taste as Central Javanese cuisine leans sweeter than food you’d find in other regions. Don’t miss Nasi Gudeg, Jogja’s iconic dish.

Where to eat:

Mediterranea by Kamil
Gudeg Sagan
Plataran Langit

Where to stay:

Amanjiwo
Garrya Bianti
Hotel Tentrem

What to do:

Borobudur Temple
Prambanan Temple
Art galleries
Local craft villages

☕ Bandung, West Java

Best for: A quick weekend from Jakarta (via Whoosh!), making it close enough to be easy, but different enough to feel like an escape.

Bandung is almost too easy to get to (especially by Whoosh!), which is both its charm and the reason people underestimate it. You could technically do a day trip since the high-speed train now gets you there in 30 minutes, but I wanted to tick a few food spots off our bucket list, so we stayed a couple nights.

And I’m glad we did because I loved our hotel. We stayed at GAIA, a hotel in the north of Bandung that felt like an idyllic little pocket of nature away from the hustle and bustle. Huge gardens, koi ponds, and fresh cool air. We explored downtown (Jalan Braga), walked through old streets with quirky stores, hit some restaurants we wanted to check out for a while and even ran into Jakarta friends who had exactly the same idea. Turns out, a spontaneous gastronomy trip is a very Bandung thing to do ;)

And if you do go to Bandung, you absolutely MUST eat at Joongla and Jung Chan. Two completely different experiences that are both worth going out of your way for. Joongla takes you on a journey through Nusantara cuisine — Indonesian ingredients and traditions reimagined with thoughtful storytelling. Jung Chan is Korean, and easily one of the best dining experiences we’ve had anywhere in Indonesia.

Where to eat:

Jung Chan
Joongla
Dailah
Seroja Bakery
Roti Gempol

Where to stay:

GAIA Hotel Bandung

What to do:

Café and gallery hop
Jalan Braga
Cikole Orchid Forest
Wot Batu

For Beaches & Island Hopping

🏝 Labuan Bajo, Flores

Best for: Anyone who wants a more unique & breathtaking island experience than Bali.

Locals know that Labuan Bajo is way more unique than Bali. It’s one of those places where every single stop on the island hopping itinerary is its own distinct experience. Pink Beach for the sparkly blush-colored sand and crystal water. Komodo Island for the Komodo dragons (duh) — which are as prehistoric and massive in person as you’d imagine. And, of course, Padar Island for the panoramic views over three bays from the top of the hike — one of the most photographed views in Indonesia.

The main town itself feels decades behind Bali in terms of development, which is refreshing — less chaos and faster to get around. Though on my last few trips I’ve noticed more hotel flags going up and construction breaking ground, so this version of Labuan Bajo may not stay around for long.

Some of my favorite hotels there are Ta’aktana and AYANA Komodo. There’s also a Plataran hotel — we didn’t stay there but had a meal there because we were getting bored of our own hotel’s food, as there aren’t that many restaurant options on the island. And, surprisingly, one of the best meals we had there was at Made in Italy — for reallyyy good Italian food, better than a lot of the Italian in Jakarta.

One of my favorite memories there was staying on a LOB for my friend’s bachelorette trip — a must do if you get the chance, and especially great if you’re a diver. Dancing under the stars until sunrise, then waking up in the middle of the open sea. Nothing like it.

Where to eat:

Plataran Komodo
Made in Italy

Where to stay:

Ta’aktana
AYANA Komodo

What to do:

Pink Beach
Padar Island
Komodo Island
Live on Board (LOB)
Diving and snorkeling

🌊 Lombok, West Nusa Tenggara

Best for: Anyone looking for a quieter & smaller version of Bali with lots of nature and less chaos.

I just got back from Lombok after years of assuming it was just an inferior version of Bali — and boy was I wrong.

It has a lot of the same energy: international restaurants of every cuisine (Italian, Indian, Greek, you name it), a growing community of foreigners, a lively atmosphere in certain areas. But minus the chaos and the traffic. The roads here are wide, neat, and winding. A surprise for me, but I guess it makes sense given that Lombok hosts international motorsport events at the Mandalika Circuit.

We landed in the morning and spent half a day exploring South Lombok (Kuta, Mandalika, Bukit Merese, and Desa Sade) straight from the airport before heading north to our hotel at the island’s northern tip, which was more secluded and serene. Desa Sade was such a unique stop — a traditional Sasak village where the community still lives in the same way they have for generations. All the women weave traditional Ikat fabric, and you can watch them work and buy directly from them. Matt asked me the difference between Ikat and Batik, and I got a pretty good summary out of Chat GPT here:

A little explainer on Indonesian Textiles that I made with Chat GPT…

We also spent a day island hopping the three Gilis. Gili Trawangan is the most built out (slightly chaotic). Gili Meno is the quietest and my personal favorite — small, slow, peaceful. Gili Air sits somewhere in between. We spent another day up near Rinjani for the Senaru waterfalls (Sendang Gile and Tiu Kelep) which were incredible and an experience to swim in. Kedai Sawah and Bukit Selong are also worth the drive up for the views.

For such a quick trip, you get to see a LOT on that island!

Where to stay:

Sira
Tampah Hills
Lombok Lodge

What to do:

Island hopping (Gili Air, Gili Meno, Gili Trawangan)
Sendang Gile and Tiu Kelep waterfalls
Bukit Merese
Desa Sade traditional village
Mandalika circuit
Kuta area for food and shopping

☀️ Sumba, East Nusa Tenggara

Best for: Travelers who want something genuinely off the beaten path. Disclaimer: Definitely not a budget trip!

Sumba is unlike anywhere else in Indonesia. Raw in a way that Bali used to be before everyone found it. Wide open. Untouched. Far less developed than any other destination on this list.

My mom visits frequently (multiple times a year) for charity work, because the island is still so underdeveloped in many areas. She’s been asking us to go as a family for years, but the logistics are such a process. Flight options from Jakarta are limited and not always convenient, and getting from the airport to the hotels takes a lot of planning. But it’s worth the logistical headache.

For a place so remote, the hospitality is world class. NIHI Sumba is on virtually every list of the best hotels in the world and is consistently ranked among the very best in Indonesia. It’s not cheap, but the funds go back into the community, funding programs like the Sumba Foundation and the Sumba Hospitality Foundation, which trains local people in world-class hospitality.

Here you can have a remote experience like no other. Riding horses along stretches of empty beach. Swimming in water that feels untouched. And lots of space to get some R&R.

Where to stay:

NIHI Sumba
Cap Karoso

What to do:

Secluded beaches
Horse riding along the shore
Waterfalls
Megalithic village visits

🐠 Raja Ampat, West Papua

Best for: Divers, marine life lovers, and anyone who wants to experience Indonesia at its most extraordinary.

Raja Ampat is in a category of its own!

It’s the sole reason I want to learn how to dive. Every single one of my diver friends says it’s some of the best diving in the world. And learning to dive has been on my bucket list for some time. As a friend put it: diving to Indonesians is like skiing to Europeans. We happen to live in the best possible place for it.

Raja Ampat is also one of the more logistically involved destinations on this list — multiple flights from Jakarta that can take up to eight hours in total. The best way to experience it is by LOB, where you can dive every day and wake up surrounded by the dramatic karst islands that rise straight out of the water. Completely disconnected from everything.

A long way to get there. But worth every hour of travel.

What to do:

Live on Board (LOB)
Diving and snorkeling
Outer islands and hidden lagoons

Best time to visit: October — April

The Singapore List: Spots Worth Returning To

Nicole Jizhar — Sat, 25 Apr 2026 01:04:27 GMT

I’ve been going back and forth to Singapore with my family since I was little, especially back when my grandfather was still alive. So it’s a comforting type of city for me - close enough to feel like a quick and easy escape, with that order and structure that you sometimes crave in the chaos of Jakarta. Full of great food, friends, and places that feel like a good reset every time.

Over the years, we’ve gone back to our favorite staples time and time again. And my family already has their “go-to” spots. But when I’m there to adventure with my husband or friends, we get to try out all the great new amazing restaurants that Singapore has to offer.

So in this guide, there will be a blend of both: the staples I’ve returned to time and time again over the years, and the trendy new additions that have earned their spots in the rotation too.

You can also find me on Instagram @nicolejizhar. Now let’s get into it.

Hawker Food

If you’re only eating at restaurants in Singapore, you’re doing it wrong! Hawker food is the soul of the city - and usually my husband’s first stop when we get here. He beelines straight to his favorites (some listed below).

Hill Street Tai Hwa Pork Noodle — My favorite hawker food is bak chor mee (minced pork noodle) and this is definitely the best place for it! It’s Matt’s favorite too. Go off-peak hours because the lines could get superr long.
Newton Food Centre — Classic open-air hawker spot (get oyster omelette, a nostalgic fave bc my grandpa used to love that dish).
Lau Pa Sat — Another great hawker center, bigger and more options than Newton.
Food Opera @ ION Orchard — Ok this is a bit of a cop out, but low key my fave place for all hawker food cravings bc they have EVERYTHING in one place there, there’s AC, and it makes for an easy bite in between shopping :)

Other classics:

Laksa at 328 Katong Laksa or Sungei Road Laksa
Hainan chicken rice at Tian Tian Hainanese Chicken Rice (original Maxwell location)
Bak kut teh at Song Fa Bak Kut Teh

Must order dishes when in Singapore:

Bak chor mee
Mee pok
Hainan chicken rice
Laksa
Bak kut teh
Chili crab
Hokkien mee
Nasi lemak
Durian!

Singapore Classics

Ya Kun Kaya Toast — Simple comfort food. Matt can eat here multiple times in one trip!
Jumbo Seafood or New Ubin Seafood — Classic chili crab or black pepper crab with fried mantou! Also love the oatmeal prawns.
The Coconut Club — Elevated nasi lemak.
Chatterbox — My other favorite place for Hainan chicken rice but bougie version.
Candlenut — The only Michelin-starred Peranakan restaurant in the world.
Orchard Road ice cream sandwiches — For the childhood nostalgia! My mom always got this for me as a kid, with the rainbow bread.

🔒 The Recs I Only Share With My Friends…

Paid subscribers get the rest of this guide, including more exclusive paid-only city guides like:

And all the other cities

You get the full archive, every city guide, and deep dives on all my lessons. For less than one coffee a month <3

Doing Everything and Still Feel Behind? Read This

Nicole Jizhar — Sun, 05 Apr 2026 14:50:39 GMT

There’s a specific type of exhaustion that comes from trying to do it all. A physical exhaustion, accompanied by a deep mental and emotional one too.

It comes not only from doing everything, but also from constantly thinking about how to optimize it all.

Being the reliable one with your responsibilities. The high performer at work. The one who shows up for family and is present with friends not to feel the FOMO. The one who is consistent with her workouts. Eats well. Sleeps enough. And still makes time for her version of fun.

Somewhere along the way - as a proudly self-proclaimed do-it-all-er, an “off” feeling can creep up out of nowhere. The kind where it just feels like it’s never enough. And usually these moments hit you out of the blue when you’re flying through all the things you’re juggling on autopilot. And in flying colors. Hah.

If you’ve ever felt that way, here’s your reminder that you’re not alone.

The Trap Nobody Talks About

With social media these days, optimizing life (all aspects - career, health, relationships, hobbies) has pretty much turned into a competitive sport. And one that’s constantly on display too.

It feels like everyone is hustling, or at least making it look like they are. We see all the highlight reels - the inspiring women building companies, wearing the chicest outfits doing so, on their super fit physiques, and still making time to nurture their relationships and selves in their (limited) downtime.

And so we all try to keep up.

We’re all optimizing.

Every second of every hour feels like it has to be filled with productivity.

Rest feels wasteful.

But the irony is, in trying to do everything right… Sometimes it’s easy to forget that the truth is, life isn’t meant to be optimized. It’s meant to be lived.

What I Noticed In Myself

The past few years have been full of so many highlights and accomplishments that I’m genuinely proud of. Advancing and creating lasting impacts in my career. Building a startup, while achieving big things in my corporate role. All while making time to nurture relationships and be present for important events. And not to mention being disciplined with my health - I worked out consistently, ate clean, etc. I was super driven and regimented.

But somewhere along the way, I got exhausted in a way I couldn’t quite explain.

I had filled my days so completely with things that were so called “good for me” that I had unconsciously crowded out the things that were simply good for the soul.

The spontaneous dinner that runs too late. The “singing” (horribly) in the shower. The dancing on tables (well maybe that one we need to sadly grow out of!). The laughter until your abs hurt. The moments of doing nothing, yet everything feeling just right.

Sometimes optimizing life leaves you crowding out time for joy.

And I think a lot of ambitious women fall into the trap of doing this.

We’re so good at doing the right thing that we forget to do the fun thing.

What Actually Helps

When I notice I’ve gone too long just going through the motions and hitting walls, a few things actually help. The irony is… during the moments when I feel “off” the best medicine sometimes isn’t another self-care habit, but just a really good time doing something “useless”.

Not more optimization, but less.

Here are my essentials…

Get back to the basics. Not the optimized basics, but the simple basics. Enough sleep. Real food. Sunlight. Movement that you enjoy rather than movement that serves an aesthetic goal. Regulating your nervous system.
Live in the now, not the later. So much of the exhaustion comes from planning ahead, longing for what’s next, preparing for what might happen. The present moment (this meal, this conversation, this morning) is where actual life is happening. Tomorrow will come at its own time.
Do something that has no ROI. This is the hardest one for achievement-oriented women. But joy that produces nothing is still joy. Singing like nobody is watching. Dancing like time doesn’t matter. A long dinner that eats into your sleep time. These are medicine for the soul.
Practice self-care before you need it. This is one of the best pieces of advice I got from my therapist, but the best time for self-care is BEFORE you actually need it. Sometimes we wait until we’re depleted before we pack on the massage appointments and yoga, but incorporating all those little things preventatively is the best way to do it. Your future self will thank you.
And occasionally — let yourself be a little unoptimized. Have the margarita (or two, or three!). Stay out late. Order the dessert and add a scoop of ice cream on top. Say yes to the thing not scheduled in your calendar. Let your hair down & get a little loose! Sometimes your soul just needs a really good time with the people you love.

There will be seasons where doing all still leaves you feeling a little empty. That’s human. And a very normal part of being the type of person who wants to do it all.

So here’s your reminder not to overthink it or add in another optimization.

Sometimes you just need to feel it, name it, and give it a little space.

The fullest lives aren’t the most optimized ones. But the ones with enough room for joy, for rest, for love, and for the completely unproductive moments that turn out to be the ones you remember most.

Do everything. But leave room for the rest of it too.

Notes from Nicole

The Eldest Daughter’s Guide to a Softer Life

Shift 1: Control → Trust

Shift 2: Responsibilities → Boundaries

Shift 3: Achievement → Alignment

Shift 4: Anticipating → Asking

Shift 5: Giving → Receiving

Shift 6: Optimizing → Enjoying

A softer life isn’t a smaller life

Further Reading

The Bangkok List: Where to Eat, Shop and Stay

Where We Stayed

The Other Islands

Bangkok Food

🔒 The Recs I Only Share With My Friends…

What Makes You the Happiest?

What made me the happiest?

So I did a happiness audit

The World Happiness Index

Habits of the world’s happiest people

What we’ve been told makes us happy

So, what makes me the happiest?

Further Reading

Work-Life Balance Is a Lie (And What I Believe In Instead)

Range > Balance

So now what?

1. Insert Joy

🔒 The Rest of My Hacks Are Below…

Why "Pick a Lane" Is the Worst Advice Ambitious Women Get

What’s Changed?

Trying To Pick The “Real” Me

The Pressure To Figure It All Out

The Case for Range

Further Reading

The Copenhagen List: Best Bakeries, Restaurants & Shops

My Favorite Neighborhoods

Where We Stayed

The Bakeries

Restaurants (Lunch Options)

Restaurants (Dinner Options)

Coffee & Ice Cream

The Shopping

For Fashion & Accessories

For Home & Design

Activities

Further Reading

Why Everyone Needs to Disappear Into Nature Once in a While

Reality check… We’re small!

We’ve become a society of do-ers

On Norway…

Further Reading

The Stockholm List: Where To Eat, Shop & Fika

My Favorite Neighborhoods

Where We Stayed

Fika & Bakeries

🔒 The Recs I Only Share With My Friends…

The Jakarta List: Where To Eat (From A Local)

Contemporary & Fusion

Fine Dining

Healthy & Cafe

Indonesian

Japanese

Italian

French, Spanish & LatAm

Asian & Global

Korean

Workouts

Spas & Wellness

Grooming

Further Reading

The London List: Best Eats By Neighborhood

Mayfair

🔒 The Recs I Only Share With My Friends…

Why Writing Is The Most "It-Girl" Thing You Can Do Online Right Now

On performing for social media…

Can slow living online exist in this day and age?

And if you’re convinced to Substack now…

Stop Measuring Your Life Against Someone Else’s Timeline

The myth of the timeline

You’re not behind… You’re right on time.