The Roles We Play For Other People

My eldest niece and I have been talking a lot about the baby.

She’s twelve now, and she’s really excited about having a baby cousin. We were talking recently about how special it is when a new person arrives in a family, and she said something that really touched me. She told me she wants to be there for my baby the way I’ve been there for her.

Gah. This killed me. My nieces and nephews hold such a special place in my heart.

When my first niece was born twelve years ago, I was in my early twenties, in absolutely no way ready to have a child of my own. But I was very ready to be an auntie. I was ready to play a significant role in a child’s life, and then, very very luckily for me, two more came along.

Over the years I’ve spent an enormous amount of time with my nieces and nephews. I’ve lived with them for periods of time, gone on holidays with them every year, looked after them overnight as babies and taken the night shift so their parents could get some reprieve. We’ve had countless sleepovers and days out and just regular mundane afternoons together. Being their auntie has been one of the great roles of my life.

And now here was my twelve-year-old niece telling me she wanted to do the same for my daughter. There was something moving about the circle of it. But I also found myself feeling really happy for her, because twelve is such an impressionable age. The world starts getting bigger. There’s so much external influence, so many messages about who you should be, what you should look like, what matters, where your value comes from. And now there’s going to be this tiny person in her life who thinks she’s absolutely amazing. Someone she gets to love and care for and guide. Someone she gets to be important to.

I said to her that I think one of the beautiful things about younger members of our families coming along is that they give us another place to put our love. They give us a role to play. And I think roles are important, though not because our worth comes from what we do for other people. It doesn’t, and I actually think it’s incredibly important to do the work of separating those things. You are valuable whether you’re useful to anybody or not.

But I also think we can become so concerned with making sure nobody derives their worth from their work, their relationships, motherhood, partnership or anything outside themselves, that we miss another truth entirely. It’s good for us to matter to other people. It’s good for us to have places where something is asked of us, to contribute, to care. There’s something deeply esteemable about showing up for the roles that are ours and doing them well.

I was talking to a client about this recently in relation to work. Maybe your job isn’t your dream job. Maybe it isn’t the great expression of your life’s purpose. Maybe there’s something else you’d rather be building. But there’s still something meaningful about having a role to play there. Somebody hired you because you bring something to the table. You have skills, you have responsibilities, there are people who rely on you and problems you know how to solve. You get to arrive and occupy that role, and participating in life is good for us, whatever we think of the job itself. That role provides you with something.

I think this is part of why parenthood can be so profoundly transformational. You’re suddenly occupying one of the most consequential roles of your life. Someone needs you to be their mother or father. Someone is learning about the world partly through the way you inhabit that role.

Parenthood isn’t the only place we feel this though. I take being a daughter seriously, a sister, an auntie, a friend, a coach, not perfectly, not sacrificially, not because I think I’m particularly noble for doing so. I just care, and I increasingly think it’s good to care.

I’ve prioritised my relationship with my parents. I’ve worked through places that needed forgiveness. I’ve relocated several times to be nearer to them, and lived with them far longer than the average woman of my age and culture probably does. I now have a sick, elderly parent, and being a daughter in this season asks something different of me than it did in the past. These roles change and mature. Sometimes they ask more of us, sometimes less. Sometimes we realise we’ve been over-functioning inside one of them and need to step back. Sometimes we’ve barely inhabited a role at all and life is asking us to step further in.

But I also think there’s something incredibly meaningful about recognising that I am somebody here, not in the grand, impressive, I-need-to-become-someone sense, but somebody far more mundane than that. I am her auntie. I am his friend. I am their daughter. I am the person who knows how to do this here, the person you can call.

I’ve watched this in my work with women over the years too. When somebody is deeply disconnected from their core relationships, struggling inside them, unable to see what they bring, or not fully occupying the roles that are already theirs, there can be a significant dissatisfaction underneath everything. Sometimes we go looking for another purpose, another project, another reinvention, another desire to pursue, when part of what we’re actually longing for is deeper inhabitation, actually being there, participating more fully in the ecosystem of our own lives.

Because we aren’t really individual lives moving alongside one another. We’re ecosystems of relationships. We influence each other, depend on each other, care for each other, teach each other, irritate each other, repair with each other, and witness each other becoming who we are. I really believe that having a strong ecosystem of relationships, and tending those relationships well, is one of the deepest foundations of a fulfilling life.

It was one of the things my partner and I were very clear about when we decided to build a life together. Family mattered, friendship mattered, community mattered. The kind of life we wanted wasn’t only about the two of us and what we could create together, it was about the network of people around us, the roles we wanted them to play in our lives and the roles we wanted to play in theirs.

Maybe this is another maturation of desire. At some point the question becomes less what do I want from my life, and more who do I want to be within the life I already belong to. What kind of daughter, what kind of sister, what kind of auntie, what kind of friend or partner or colleague or neighbour. What does it look like to inhabit those roles without disappearing inside them, to bring yourself fully to them without making them responsible for your worth?

Your life isn’t only made meaningful by what you get to experience, achieve, create or become. Some of its meaning comes from what you give, from the places you show up, from the people whose lives are different because you’re in them.

My niece doesn’t need to become a parent at twelve to discover that kind of meaning. She gets to become a cousin. She gets to have this tiny person come into her world and adore her, and to discover what it feels like to be looked up to, to guide someone, to think about the example she’s setting, to put some of her attention outside herself and into the care of another person.

And one day my daughter will get to know that she has this older cousin who was waiting for her before she’d even arrived. Who already wanted to be there for her. Who wanted to love her well. I can’t think of many things more beautiful and meaningful than that.

We spend so much of our lives asking who we’re becoming. It might be worth asking too who we already are to the people around us, and how well we’re inhabiting the roles that are already ours.

SPECIAL NOTE: No new podcast episode this week. Instead, I’m giving you space to catch up with the three-part Desire 2.0 series over the weekend. See below. Plus, four of my six Deep Dive spaces have now been booked, with two remaining next week. Get in there babes.

I'm ready for my Deep Dive

You can listen to the full series here:

EP 12: Desire 2.0 — When Desire Grows Up​
What happens when desire is no longer the only compass? A conversation about the evolution from simply following what you want to integrating desire with wisdom, timing, responsibility and stewardship. Desire still matters. It just no longer walks alone.

​

EP 13: Stewardship — What Happens After You Get What You Wanted?​
You wanted the relationship, the business, the home, the family, the freedom. Now, how do you care for what you’ve created? An exploration of devotion, responsibility and the shift from “I want this” to “I will care for this.”

​

EP 14: The Life You Have Is Not a Waiting Room​
What if you don’t need another breakthrough, reinvention or version of yourself to become? This episode explores the difference between transformation and inhabitation, and why all our healing, growth and self-development should ultimately return us to the life we’re actually living.

You can also listen directly on Substack here:

https://olivialaraowen.substack.com/podcast

Also, if you are an Auntie or aspire to be an even more awesome one, I can’t recommend this publication enough:

The Auntie Bulletin

Practical everyday kinship.

By Lisa Sibbett

Ok, that’s it.

I love you

Liv

When I make more money.

When the business grows.

When I find the relationship.

When we move.

When I heal this pattern.

When I finally become the woman who...

Then.

Then I’ll arrive.

Then I’ll relax.

Then I’ll really start living.

And I think those of us who have spent years in the worlds of coaching, healing and personal development can be particularly susceptible to this.

Because there is always something else we could work on.

Another pattern. Another edge. Another breakthrough. Another version of ourselves waiting to be embodied.

But at some point, I think all of this work has to return us to our lives.

The point of healing isn’t to become incredibly good at healing.

The point of coaching isn’t to become incredibly good at being coached.

The point of self-awareness isn’t to spend your entire life observing yourself.

The work should return you to your life.

To making breakfast.

Doing your work.

Loving your people.

Tending your home.

Making things.

Going outside.

Having sex.

Being bored.

Resting.

Living an incredibly ordinary Tuesday that may, when you really look at it, contain several things you once desperately wanted.

This doesn’t mean settling.

It doesn’t mean we stop wanting more or changing the things that genuinely need to change.

There’s an enormous difference between:

I love my life enough to participate in its evolution.

And:

My life needs to change before I can love it.

Perhaps you don’t need another reinvention right now.

Perhaps you need to live the last one.

Perhaps your real life isn’t waiting for you on the other side of the next breakthrough.

Perhaps it’s here.

I explored this in the latest episode of Meat & Monogamy:

🎧 Episode 14: The Life You Have Is Not a Waiting Room

And I’ll leave you with the question I ask in the episode:

Where are you treating your current life like a waiting room?

What might become available if you stopped waiting and fully inhabited it?

Liv x

🌿 Want my support?

I’m currently enrolling my final 1:1 clients before maternity leave, with my last containers beginning in late August / early September.

If you’re moving through a significant transition and you know you’d like me in your corner, the first step is a Deep Dive.

It’s a 75-minute private coaching session where we’ll get underneath what’s really happening, identify the patterns shaping this season, and map out what I believe would most change the trajectory of your next chapter.

This is the final window to begin working with me before I step away for maternity leave.

🌿 BOOK YOUR DEEP DIVE →

I'm Ready

This is becoming more and more the norm as she grows.

Which is an insane sentence when I really think about it.

I remember the version of me tracking my cycles, ovulation and taking my temperatures every morning.

I remember the hard conversations about the reality of stepping into parenthood together.

I remember the New Years Eve Desire Retreat I was on in London in 2017 when the desire to be a mother came in so deep and strong.

I remember the years of re-feeding myself through my restrictive eating recovery knowing that the level of depletion and stress that I felt at that time physically was incongruent with carrying life.

I remember the dating years, the disappointments, the lessons and the absolute backing of my desire for this that led me to this beautiful and honest partnership where having a child together became a genuine possibility.

I remember all of the little seemingly small steps that came before this.

And now? My days look like this.

I’m finally really enjoying being pregnant after months of feeling sick and exhausted. I’m figuring out my pregnancy strut and buying maternity bundles on Vinted. I’m thinking about work and money and what needs to be figured out before this baby comes. I’m in the vulnerable process of hiring doula support and remembering how incredibly powerful and intimate it is to choose a person to support you 1:1 (sending an appreciation to all of you that choose me as your 1:1 guide - what an honour it really is).

I’m eating like a horse (and I mean a race horse) and then getting frustrated by how much my body is really asking for and just how hungry I am. I’m barely sleeping and having a difficult time distinguishing what is a dream state, what is sleeping and what is waking time.. I’m in bed ferociously reading for pleasure and education every night preparing for the birth portal and beyond. I’m finally going for walks in nature (thank you 5 heatwaves) and praying with my baby and the beautiful wildlife down at the lake. I’m going to pregnancy yoga classes, meeting other mums and doing all sorts of normie preggie mum things. You get the picture.

So much mundane that it is really quite magical

How many things I once prayed for, worked for, cried over, prepared myself for, wondered if I would ever have that have now become so integrated into the architecture of my life that I barely recognise them as answered desires.

Perhaps this is what happens to desire when it arrives.

It doesn’t necessarily remain sparkling and extraordinary.

It becomes life.

The partner you once longed for becomes the person you’re discussing the shopping list with, negotiating plans with, brushing your teeth beside, snuggling up with in the morning.

The work you once dreamed of doing becomes the emails you’re answering on a Wednesday afternoon.

The freedom you once couldn’t imagine having becomes so embedded in the architecture of your life that you forget to call it freedom.

The baby you longed for becomes the little person kicking you while you’re trying to concentrate.

Maybe this isn’t the diminishment of desire.

Maybe this is its fulfilment.

The extraordinary gets to become ordinary because you get to live here now.

I don’t think this is about forcing ourselves to be more grateful. Or constantly reminding ourselves how lucky we are. Or demanding that we remain in awe of everything we’ve created. I think it’s something else.

We are human. We acclimatise. We adapt. Life keeps moving. The thing that once felt enormous eventually has to sit alongside the washing, the emails, the food shopping, the bills and whatever we’re having for dinner.

But every now and then, there is an opportunity to see it again.

To catch yourself in the middle of your very normal life and remember:

I once desperately wanted this.

There was a version of me who didn’t know if this would ever be mine.

There was a version of me for whom this ordinary Wednesday would have looked like an answered prayer.

And perhaps there is something sacred about allowing the miraculous to become mundane.

Not gripping it.

Not demanding that we appreciate it properly.

Just occasionally recognising it.

Oh.

I live here now.

P.S. If this has you thinking about what you desire now...

My latest episode of Meat & Monogamy, “Stewardship: What Happens After We Get What We Wanted?”, goes deeper into this exact territory.

What happens after the desire arrives? When the thing you wanted becomes your actual life? And what does it ask of you to tend to, protect and live what you’ve created?

​[Listen to the episode here]

​

And if you’re at a threshold of your own, I have five Deep Dives available leading into my final 1:1 coaching containers before I take maternity leave.

A Deep Dive is a 75-minute private session with me to look closely at where you are, what you’re moving towards, and what this particular season is asking of you.

If you’ve been feeling the pull to work together, this is the window.

You can book below.

£111.00

1:1 Introductory Deep Dive with Olivia Lara Owen

This 75-minute intensive is a powerful entry point into my 1:1 work. Together, we’ll explore your current patterns,... Read more

Follow your Desire

When did having breakthroughs become ordinary but living them become so rare?

What if you didn’t actually need another big breakthrough?

Hear me out.

I get the seduction. New breakthroughs bring new insights, fresh perspectives, new possibilities, hope, inspiration, escape, the fantasy of changing. All of these things can feel pretty delicious.

We LOVE to imagine ourselves different. But why is the fantasy of becoming someone different so seductive?

I see this really as a bit of a seductive trap.

I believe our lives can change enormously. Our behaviours, circumstances, relationships and capacity can transform. But I’m less convinced that transformation means becoming an entirely different person. Often, it means becoming more available to who we have always been.

But sometimes, beneath all that desire to transform, we are simply trying to run away from who we already are.

But why?

What’s wrong with you?

Is there anything really wrong?

Now I know, I know, I know.

You’re probably thinking: Liv, your entire body of work is devoted to transformation.

And it is.

But what am I actually teaching? What am I taking a stand for?

Certainly not that there is something fundamentally wrong with you. And certainly not that you need to become someone else before you can inhabit your life.

I believe our true power comes from learning to embrace the boring, mundane repetition of building a life.

Accepting our limits before attempting to expand beyond them.

Becoming mature enough to withstand the inevitable disappointments and difficulties of being alive.

Staying intimately connected to our lives and the people we love.

Taking responsibility for our choices and for what follows them.

Learning the unglamorous, essential skills of attention, consistency, patience and repair.

None of this is particularly sexy.

But this is how a breakthrough becomes a life.

And that is what I stand for. Supporting you in creating a real life that stands the tests of what life will inevitably bring.

A lot of what people called “healing” and “doing the deep work of transformation” keeps you running around in circles, sometimes for YEARS because there is such an emphasis on big breakthroughs, more intensity, changing yourself.

And sometimes the entire cycle begins with shame. Someone convinces you that who you are now is inadequate, and then offers you repeated proximity to the person you might become.

If listening to someone consistently leaves you feeling like shit about yourself, you may find yourself returning to them in pursuit of the moment you finally don’t.

Have you ever had the feeling that someone possesses, or can give you something you desperately need? You keep coming closer, investing more, waiting for it to arrive. But somehow, it never does.

Often, that’s because the thing you have been taught to pursue doesn’t exist in the form you were promised.

I call this dangling the BIG FAT CARROT that doesn’t exist.

It keeps you psychological hooked: always close, never arriving.

Ask me how I know. I spent years believing in that carrot.

It can look like buying another shiny course before you’ve practised what the last one taught you. Constantly changing your practices instead of staying with what you know works. Abandoning your routines for every sexy invitation. Searching for the next teacher and mistaking intensity for depth.

Starting again because beginning makes you feel powerful, while repetition makes you feel ordinary.

And I believe courses, coaches and teachers, plus a cheeky disruption to our routine to be often a very good thing.

Hey, I offer all of those things. But the work should return you to yourself. It should increase your capacity to live your own life, not make you believe the answer is permanently located inside someone else.

Over nearly ten years of coaching and mentoring women, I’ve worked with women who have returned to me across many seasons of their lives. I’ve also worked with women for three months who left realising: perhaps it is finally time to stop seeking. Perhaps I am enough. Perhaps more is already okay than I thought.

Both can be signs of deep work. Staying is not always about staying with the same teacher. Sometimes it means staying with yourself.

None of this means we stop desiring.

Desire matters. It asks us to look honestly at our lives and imagine beyond their current limits. But healthy desire contains aliveness, beauty and a certain degree of non-attachment. It invites us forward; it does not shame us out of where we are.

And no, you don’t need to develop a perfect relationship with desire either. That would only become another bloody thing to work on.

Can we hold everything just a bit more lightly?

I’ve been yapping about tending recently. Tending to what we already have. Shifting our relationship with what is here before we reject it in pursuit of something different, sexier or more.

Tending asks us to stay after the revelation has faded. To repeat what works. To keep our promises when nobody is watching. To repair instead of immediately replacing. To allow ourselves and our lives to be ordinary sometimes.

Maybe you don’t need another reinvention.

Maybe you need to stay with what you already know for long enough that it changes the way you live.

Maybe the next breakthrough is not becoming somebody new.

Maybe it is finally becoming available to the life and the self that are already here.

Now, I know I have spent this entire piece telling you that you might not need another course, coach or reinvention and I am about to invite you to work with me.

But this is exactly why I believe and wholeheartedly back the work I do.

I’m not interested in dangling a big fat carrot in front of you or convincing you that I have the secret to the woman you could become.

I want to help you look honestly at your life.

To work out what actually needs to change, what doesn’t, what you might be avoiding and what you already know but haven’t yet found a way to live.

Sometimes we do need support to stop running around in circles. Sometimes we need someone who can really see us, ask better questions and help us hear our own answers.

That is what we do in a Deep Dive.

We spend 75 minutes together getting underneath what is happening in your life and what this particular season is asking of you. You don’t need to arrive with a perfectly articulated problem. You don’t even need to know whether you need to make a big change or stop trying to change everything.

We’ll look at it together.

I have five spaces left for Deep Dives in late August and early September. They can stand alone, or they can lead into three months of working together privately.

This is my final season of coaching before I go on maternity leave, so if you have been thinking about working with me, now really is the time.

You can book your Deep Dive below.

A quick note on booking: You’ll pay for your Deep Dive first, then you’ll be taken through to choose your session time. If you’re in a different time zone and can’t see a time that works for you, please send me a DM. I’m very happy to find a time that accommodates you.

£111.00

1:1 Introductory Deep Dive with Olivia Lara Owen

This 75-minute intensive is a powerful entry point into my 1:1 work. Together, we’ll explore your current patterns,... Read more

Follow your Desire

Gwen Yi - Astrology Integration Coach

“I am my whole self now, my true self, my congruent embodied self, and it feels like the most effortless thing in the world. Often I find myself moving through my day and just smiling to myself because I’m so present and happy to be where I am, even if it isn’t perfect, I am whole and I am aligned and I am me, and it is the feeling I have craved most deeply my entire life.

Olivia taught me it is perfectly OK to be me. It sounds so cliché but true. She taught me it is OK to listen to where I’m at, to not rush ahead, to honor my body in all her wisdom, to nourish her, to trust and honor and love myself even when - especially when - I have nothing of value to produce.

In learning to trust my timeline and slow down, the truth that has long percolated within me had the space to bloom. Olivia holds perfect space for all of it. I am so grateful to have experienced first hand the beauty and grace of her container.”

The relationship. The business. The home. The friendships. The family. The freedom.

But there is sometimes a much more potent question waiting for us on the other side:

What happens when you actually get it?

This is the conversation I’ve been having lately about stewardship.

Because the things we once desperately wanted eventually become the things that ask something of us.

The relationship needs our participation.

The business needs our leadership.

The friendships need our presence.

The home needs tending.

The life we wanted needs us to actually live it.

Desire says: I want this.
Stewardship says: I will care for this.

And I think there’s something deeply mature in learning how to hold both.

Not abandoning desire. Not settling. Not deciding we should simply be grateful for what we have and stop wanting more.

But becoming increasingly capable of caring beautifully for what our desires have already created.

Because sometimes chasing the next desire is actually easier than tending what’s already here.

The next thing has possibility and excitement.

Stewardship asks for repetition. Consistency. Attention. Repair. Devotion.

It asks us to be here.

With this life.

This relationship.

This body.

This business.

This season.

And perhaps abundance isn’t only about creating more.

Perhaps it’s also about developing the capacity to deeply inhabit what is already ours.

I explored all of this in the latest episode of Meat & Monogamy:

🎥 Stewardship: What Happens After You Get What You Wanted?

And I’ll leave you with the question I ask in the episode:

What did you once desperately want that is now simply part of your ordinary life?

And what would it look like to steward it beautifully?

Liv x

Want to go deeper?

If you’re reading this and thinking, this is the work I need, I’m currently enrolling my final 1:1 clients before I step away for maternity leave.

The first step is a Deep Dive — a 75-minute private coaching session where we’ll get underneath what’s really happening in your life, identify the patterns shaping this season, and map out what I believe would most change the trajectory of your next chapter.

If we’re the right fit, I’ll also share how I would support you inside The Comeback, my three-month private coaching container.

My final containers begin in late August / early September, so this is the window to come and work with me before I close my doors for maternity leave.

BOOK YOUR DEEP DIVE → I’M READY

A quick note on booking: you’ll pay for your Deep Dive first and then choose your session time. If you’re in a different time zone and can’t see a time that works for you, send me a DM, I’m very happy to find something that accommodates you.

This week, I was coaching an amazing woman I have worked with for many years through a decision about the next chapter of her life.

There are several different futures available to her. Different places she could live. Different versions of home and family. Different things she wants to protect and preserve. And underneath all of it was the question so many of us eventually arrive at.

But what do I actually want?

We talked about desire. But not in the way I might have talked about desire five or ten years ago, because I’m beginning to think there is a second chapter to the desire conversation. I’m calling it Desire 2.0.

For a long time, desire was one of the most important forces in my life. What do I want? What lights me up? Where do I feel pulled? What would I choose if I wasn’t making the decision from fear?

Those questions changed my life. They took me to Paris, shaped my business, helped me leave lives that no longer fit and create ones that did. They’ve led me here to this stage of life, to my pregnancy and surrendering to the path of motherhood.

I still deeply believe in desire. But I don’t think desire is the only thing at the table anymore, because eventually, you build a life. You enter a partnership. You create commitments. You become responsible for things you deeply care about. You might build a business, a home, a marriage, a family.

And suddenly the question isn’t just what do I desire. It’s also what am I building, what am I responsible for, what season am I actually in, what does this choice ask of the people I love, and what am I willing to steward. Perhaps most importantly, who do I need to become to create the life I say I want.

This was the place we eventually reached in the session yesterday, because there wasn’t a perfect location that was going to give her everything. One choice might offer more family support, but require stronger boundaries to remain connected to herself. Another might offer more independence and creative freedom, but require her to intentionally build the community and support she would be moving away from.

There was no option where she didn’t have to participate. Wherever she chose to live, she was still going to have to lead her life.

And God, isn’t that adulthood?

There comes a point where we realise that no city, relationship, house, amount of money, family system or perfectly aligned opportunity is going to remove the responsibility of creating our lives. We can receive enormous support. We can be guided. We can allow life to surprise us. We can follow the pull. But ultimately, we still have to participate in what we’re asking for.

And this is where I think desire matures. Desire 1.0 says I want this. Desire 2.0 asks how do I honour what I want while also honouring the life I have built.

It doesn’t make desire less sacred. It makes our relationship with it more sophisticated. Sometimes desire is asking us to leap. Sometimes it’s asking us to wait. Sometimes it’s showing us what needs to change, and sometimes it’s showing us what we need to create exactly where we already are. And sometimes a desire doesn’t need to become a decision at all. It simply needs to be heard.

That distinction has given me so much relief. I can honour a desire without immediately obeying it. I can let it speak. I can get curious about what it’s showing me. And then I can bring the rest of my life into the conversation, my values, my commitments, my relationships, my responsibilities, my resources, my season, my body, my wisdom.

This feels particularly alive for me as I move towards motherhood. There are things I desire that don’t automatically get to become the organising principle of our entire family’s life. That doesn’t mean I’ve abandoned myself. It means there are more people at the table now.

And perhaps this is one of the great maturations of desire, moving from how do I get the life I want to how do I become a wise steward of the life I am creating.

I recorded a whole podcast episode about this today because I realised, mid-coaching, that this is becoming a much bigger body of work for me. It’s the beginning of a new series I’m calling The Evolution of Desire, and this first episode is about Desire 2.0.

If you’ve spent years learning how to hear your desire, but you’re now entering a season where life feels more complex, where partnership, family, responsibility, timing and reality are all sitting at the table too, I think this one will meet you.

Listen to Desire 2.0 below →

And perhaps take this question with you today.

What if the desire you’re feeling isn’t necessarily asking you to blow up your life or make a decision? What if it’s simply giving you information about what wants more room in the life you’re already creating?

I’d love to know your thoughts on this one friends.

I love you,

Liv

What if you stopped negotiating with your desire?

If this stirred something in you, perhaps it’s because a part of you is ready to stop circling and start listening.

The Deep Dive is a 75-minute threshold session where we’ll explore what your desire is really asking of you, identify the patterns that have kept you overriding yourself, and map the next chapter with clarity and care.

At the end of our time together, I’ll share three clear recommendations for what I believe would most transform this season of your life and, if it feels aligned for us both, a personalised proposal for how we could continue that work together.

✨ Book your £111 Deep Dive here: Deep Dive with Olivia

In case you missed my recent writing:

It’s one of the most common things I hear from women.

Do you find yourself saying this?

Usually this feeling comes when life has changed. You’ve experienced a period of loss. Burnout. Relationship ending. A baby arrived. You finished a big work cycle. Your body shifted. Your priorities changed. You’re going through a big medical experience. You’ve lost motivation. Almost instinctively, you make it mean that something has gone wrong.

But what if it hasn’t?

In this week’s episode of the Meat & Monogamy podcast, I explore a distinction that has become deeply, and I mean deeply, important in my own life and work.

The difference between being disconnected from yourself and being unfamiliar to yourself.

I think the Big Girl Panty question is really this….What if you let go of trying to find the women you’ve believed you’ve lost and focused on the invitation to become the woman you’ve never met before? What if you embraced the unfamiliar land of who you are becoming?

If you’re finding yourself romanticising the past and wondering where you’re spark or magic has gone, I hope this offers a more powerful way to look at this.

🎧 You can listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or YouTube.

Let me know what lands for you.

Liv

You may have noticed over these past few months that I’ve been further away, quieter, more inward.

There’s been quite the transformation happening over here.

And I’ve been really looking forward to when the moment felt right to share this really beautiful update with you.

I’m almost five months pregnant.

Even writing those words feels surreal.

I feel so tender about being pregnant.

It is so tender being pregnant.

And you know that I’m a tender old soft Jaguar anyway.

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So lets say maximum tenderness is happening over here.

And I’m sure that’s only going to continue as my pregnancy progresses and baby is earth-side.

So I’ve felt really slow about sharing this news. In many ways it doesn’t even feel like news, it just feels like part of this really huge experience that is growing with me.

But I also know that in the past few months, this process has asked a lot of me.

More than I ever expected to experience.
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​There’s been the deepest joy, crippling doubt, panic, absolute elation, conflict, sooo much tenderness, so much physical transformation, debilitating tiredness and ongoing sickness (still now!), the strongest spiritual openness I’ve ever felt and a whole host of what the actual fuck is going on. ​
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It is a really big, life-changing, transformational experience to be pregnant and on the cusp of becoming a mother and parent to a new being.
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And to do that in partnership with another human being. Truly, wow.
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Lets give ourselves credit, humans are amazing.

NONE of this is easy. And it is also really the deepest blessing.

So here we are, thank you to so many of you that have been with me along for the ride of all the twists and turns of life over the many years you’ve been here.

It means a lot to share this with you.

And because I know many of you will be wondering...

Yes, I’m absolutely still working.

It feels incredibly meaningful to continue supporting women through their own seasons of change whilst moving through one of the biggest transformations of my own.
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These past few months have been some of my best coaching to date.
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Whilst I’ve been growing this baby I’ve had the blessing of a sold out coaching practice full of amazing women moving through some big. life. shit.

Both of my three-month 1:1 containers, The Comeback and The Continuation, are open for August and September starts, taking us through until December before I step away for a beautiful season of maternity leave.

If you’ve been thinking, maybe now is my time, I’d love to connect with you.

As always, every journey begins with a Deep Dive.

I love you,

Liv

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Follow your Desire

I also thought my geographical was Paris or Lisbon or all of the other places I moved too. Looking back, I don’t think it was. I think my geographical was success.

Like many of us, I grew up in an environment where there was addiction, emotional volatility, instability and insecurity. As a child, I made a decision that wasn’t conscious, but it shaped everything that came after. I would become someone. I would become so capable, so successful, so intelligent, so independent that nobody could ever touch me, hurt me, control me, manage me.

I would be the A* student, the high achiever, the one who always had the answer, the one who could hold everyone else, the one who didn’t need anybody. And do you know what? It really really worked. That strategy built me a beautiful life. It took me across the world, built businesses, introduced me to remarkable people, and gave me opportunities I could never have imagined as a little nipper growing up in Buckinghamshire.

People often write about the ego as though it’s something shameful. I don’t see it that way. My ego wasn’t my enemy. It was an ingenious survival strategy. It protected a little girl who didn’t feel safe, and I feel immense compassion for her, because she built exactly what she believed she needed. The problem wasn’t that the strategy was wrong. The problem was that one day, the emergency ended, and I kept living as though it hadn’t. The identity that had saved me slowly became the identity that imprisoned me.

It turns out you can build an extraordinary life while slowly losing touch with yourself. Not because you’re lying, but because you’ve become so identified with the version of yourself that survives that you stop asking whether she’s actually the one you want leading your life. That, for me, has been one of the hardest truths to face. Not that I was dishonest with other people, but that I wasn’t fully honest with myself. It’s a subtle distinction. You can become incredibly skilled at talking about truth while still avoiding the deepest truth inside yourself. I know because I did it. And once I saw that in myself, I realised how easy it is for any of us to confuse vulnerability with honesty, especially in industries where transformation is the product, especially when people applaud your self-awareness, especially when your identity depends on being the person with the answers.

Recovery has stripped so much of that away. When I felt a deep call a few years ago to return “home”, I couldn’t ignore it. It was an invitation I couldn’t quite explain. Come home. Not just geographically. Spiritually. Emotionally. Come back to your roots, to your family, to ordinary life, to the parts of yourself you’ve spent years trying to outgrow. There was no failure in me leaving Paris and returning definitely wasn’t regression. It’s been a really big integration.

If I’m honest, there have been so many moments over the past two years when I’ve questioned the decision. Life has become simpler. Less glamorous. Sometimes I look back at my old life and think, wasn’t that more exciting? The validation was louder. The momentum was intoxicating. There was always another opportunity, another room, another stage, another version of myself to become. Now there is space. Enough space that I can’t outrun myself anymore, and sometimes that has felt unbearable. Because trusting a life that doesn’t constantly reassure your ego is a very different kind of trust. There are no standing ovations. No external proof. No applause to tell you you’re on the right path. Just the work of becoming someone you can actually live with. Fuck me, it can be really really hard.

Over this past year, I’ve rebuilt my coaching practice almost entirely through one-to-one work. Without scaling, chasing or performing. Simply sitting with women, listening deeply, walking beside them, being available, serving. It’s been one of the most nourishing seasons of my career. It’s not been the biggest but I can say hand on heart that it’s been the truest. I’ve also slowly been rebuilding something I’ve felt such a deep loss around. Community. Friendships. Roots. A life that doesn’t exist to impress anyone. A life that can actually hold me. Every tiny piece of seed that I notice growing on my life feels like a tiny miracle.

Recovery has taught me that there is a profound difference between being exceptional and belonging. For most of my life, I thought they were the same thing. I thought if I became extraordinary enough, I would never need anyone. I see now that underneath all of that striving was a terrified little girl trying to earn the safety she couldn’t feel.

These days, life is asking something entirely different of me. It is asking me to trust. Sometimes trust looks inspiring. Sometimes it looks boring AF. Sometimes trust is staying. Sometimes it’s letting people love you. Sometimes it’s admitting you don’t know. Sometimes it’s choosing honesty over how something looks. And sometimes it’s allowing yourself to become a little bit of a nobody after spending years trying to be somebody. Ironically, that has been the place where I’ve found the deepest freedom.

I still have ambition. I still have gifts. I still care deeply about excellence. Recovery hasn’t asked me to abandon any of that. It’s simply invited me to stop using those gifts to protect myself. Today, they get to serve instead.

As you know, I was away last week in Ibiza serving a gorgeous high-end retreat with one of my dearest sisters Helen Wilkes. It was the perfect opportunity to be reminded that God wants us in our assets, not our ego. There’s a difference. I absolutely loved being there, supporting the experience, cleaning up many times a day after another round of nourishment, jumping into cook where needed, executing a perfect night out dancing in da club (your girl was an Ibiza regular almost 20 years ago - hello 2006/2007 wtf!) taking care of the baby while Helen and Neil were in their own gifts (yes you can serve women’s power whilst mothering and parenting), guiding and holding the women through big moments and thresholds as I so and put on this earth to do. It was stunning.

And I’m reminded of this…

My intelligence is an asset. My intuition is an asset. My leadership is an asset. My ability to build businesses is an asset. My capacity to love people deeply is an asset. My warmth is an asset. My generosity is an asset. None of those things need to disappear. What needed to disappear was the belief that they made me untouchable.

I was never meant to be untouchable. I was meant to belong. And sometimes I think that maybe that has been my true recovery all along. Simply laying down the identity that once kept me alive so I could finally discover who I was underneath it.

Ready to be guided, supported and held by me: step one is to book yourself a 75 minute Deep Dive. Come and experience the power of my holding.

I'm Ready

Those weren’t Gwen’s exact words.

But they were the feeling I was left with after we finished recording this week’s episode of the Meat & Monogamy podcast.

And I cannot tell you how happy that makes me.

Because if my work has done its job well, women should leave me needing me less, not more.

This week’s guest is Gwen Yi.

Gwen is an astrologer, mentor and 1:1 Comeback client, and this conversation has been a long time coming.

When she first arrived in my world, she was standing in a place I recognised immediately. It’s an understated place where life looks really full from the outside. She was intelligent, deeply thoughtful, already doing beautiful work in the world, full of incredible ideas and excitement.

But underneath all of that was a softer question.

Can I actually trust myself? Not my coach. Not astrology. Not another book or framework or expert opinion. Me.

There’s something else worth knowing about Gwen before you press play.

For years, she had been known online as The Asian Astrologer. A name that was, in some ways, a container she had outgrown before she even realised it. Part of what happened in the months before and during our work together was a slow, tender reclamation. Of her given name. Of all the parts of herself she had set aside to fit inside a single description. Of the fullness of who she actually is.

She came into this conversation as Gwen Yi. And you can feel the difference.

As I listened back, I realised this is probably one of the clearest examples I’ve ever shared publicly of what actually happens inside The Comeback.

Yes the coaching is powerful, and the sessions can be life-changing and structure is deeply supportive and it’s full of magic.

And, and, and, Gwen speaks so deeply about the shift.

Not the logistics. Not the sessions. Not the coaching. Although these are all super powerful. She speaks about….

The shift.

Because the shift is never that a woman suddenly becomes somebody else. It’s that she slowly stops abandoning herself.

One of my favourite moments comes when Gwen says, “Whenever I’m lost, whenever I’m confused, I literally close my eyes and tune in within. I just drop in and ask: what do you need right now?”

I really really know what it took for Gwen to get to there. And this is what I love seeing in the women that deeply commit to this work. They begin to know where to look within themselves in the places where they would have formally maybe out-sourced. This is the work. I call it “In-sourcing”.

You’ll also hear a really beautiful segment on identities.

We started talking about old versions of ourselves. The women we’ve been. The embarrassing seasons. The identities we’ve shed. The decisions we’d make differently now.

Gwen spoke about these parts of herself with so much tenderness. She described coming across old photos from her teenage blog and just feeling, unexpectedly, flooded with love for that girl.

I found that incredibly moving. Because I think one of the most telling signs that somebody has genuinely grown isn’t that they have a new life. It’s that they’ve stopped being at war with the old one.

People often ask me what happens inside The Comeback, my flagship 3 month 1:1 coaching programme.

This episode is probably the closest answer I can give. You get to watch someone on the other side of the work. Not polished, not packaging her experience for an audience, simply reflecting, honestly, on what changed.

And perhaps more importantly, what didn’t.

Because Gwen is still Gwen. She’s just no longer spending so much energy trying to become someone else.

Gwen also offered the most gorgeous parting gift to anyone listening at the end of the interview. She said…

“You are worth waiting for.”

If any part of that lands somewhere in you. If you’ve been collecting wisdom without quite embodying it. If what you’re really longing for isn’t another strategy but a deeper relationship with yourself. I think you’ll love this conversation.

It’s one of my favourites we’ve recorded. And if somewhere inside it you find yourself wondering what The Comeback actually is, perhaps this episode is the best introduction I could ever give you.

If you’re ready to begin your journey with me, book your 75 minute Deep Dive with me below. This is your time my love.

I'M READY

About this week’s guest:

Wong Gwen Yi is an Astrologer, Mentor and Guide for Multidimensional Women learning to embrace the Art of Personal Evolution. As a 3/5 Manifesting Generator herself, Gwen’s life has been rife with pivots, U-turns and ups and downs, including founding an empathy training company and leaving an 8-year long-term relationship. Gwen’s hope is to change the narrative around personal evolution in Asia, not seeing it as shameful or irresponsible, but empowering women to reclaim their stories, past selves and innate sovereignty through her own lived example.

You can find Gwen and her work below:

• Website: www.gwenyi.com

• Instagram: www.instagram.com/iamgwenyi

🎧 Episode 10 of Meat & Monogamy is now live on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and YouTube.

I’d love to know what stays with you.

Liv x

And then there are episodes that feel like opening the door to your actual life.

This week on Meat & Monogamy, I sat down with one of my oldest friends in the world, Helen Wilkes, and honestly, I think you can feel our real relationship all the way through the conversation.

We’ve known each other since we were girls.

Like actual girls.

We grew up together in Buckinghamshire, slightly black sheep-ish, slightly too loud, slightly too much, both with this deep feeling of “there has to be more life than this”. We were the girls getting judged, getting underestimated, dreaming bigger than the environment around us could really understand.

And somehow, all these years later, after travelling the world, building businesses, heartbreak, reinvention, huge initiations, motherhood, illness, love, power, grief, expansion, we are still here.

Still walking beside each other.

Still witnessing each other becoming.

The episode is beautiful. And funny. And really honest.

We spoke about Helen’s journey with power and why she now teaches women’s energetics and embodiment work all over the world. We spoke about her mother, moving to Australia with no money and no safety net, opening her yoga studio, and the absolutely enormous initiation of her partner suddenly becoming paralysed and nearly dying just after they opened their business.

There’s a moment in the episode where Helen says she realised she was connected to something bigger than herself because there was simply no other way she could have held what she was holding.

And I think so many women will recognise themselves in that.

The moment where life asks more of you than you thought you had.

And somehow, something deeper appears.

We also spoke a lot about women’s power, and specifically the difference between performing power and actually being able to hold your life.

Because I think a lot of women know how to push.

A lot of women know how to survive.

A lot of women know how to make big moves.

But not all women know how to stay connected to themselves while they do it.

Not all women know how to build lives that actually nourish them.

And this brings me to the big announcement.

This summer, I am joining Helen in Ibiza for her flagship retreat, Potentiate Your Power, from June 30th – July 6th.

And honestly…

I think this is going to be one of the most special things I do all year.

Not because I’m leading it.

I’m not.

I’m supporting Helen inside the retreat. Holding women. Being part of the fabric of the week. Bringing my work, my presence, my attunement and my love into a space that already has such a strong foundation.

And if I’m honest, that role feels perfect for me right now.

There’s something really beautiful about arriving into a space where the architecture already exists and getting to pour yourself into the experience rather than carrying the entire thing.

Helen has led this retreat many times before in Bali and Australia, but this is the first time she’s bringing it to Europe.

And if you’re reading this thinking, “Okay but what actually is this retreat?”…

It’s hard to explain because it’s not just one thing.

It’s yoga, embodiment, energetics, philosophy, nervous system work, depth, sisterhood, gorgeous food, spaciousness, beautiful conversations, dancing, rest, Ibiza magic, poolside chats, laughter, tears, integration, expansion.

It’s being deeply held by women who actually know how to hold women.

It’s being around other women who are already living full, interesting, expansive lives and still desire more depth.

Women that are ready for the next layer of their becoming.

I think what I loved most hearing Helen speak in this episode is that she said:

“This is not a holiday with a little bit of yoga.”

And it really isn’t.

It’s a deeply deliberate experience.

Every part of it has been designed with care.

And honestly, after years of leading retreats and events myself, I can feel the difference immediately when something has that level of intention behind it.

Also… selfishly?

I just think it’s going to be so much fun.

Like genuinely.

Beautiful women. Ibiza. Big conversations. Embodiment work. Deep support. Amazing food. Dancing until midnight. Morning yoga. Philosophy by the pool. The Mediterranean in July.

I mean…

Come on.

There are currently two rooms remaining.

So if something in you is reading this and immediately feeling the pull, I would trust that.

You can find all the details below.

And if you have questions, you can message either me or Helen directly.

I really, really hope some of you come.

🎧 Listen to the full episode here or above:

Listen on Apple Podcasts: Episode 9

🌴 Potentiate Your Power Retreat
Ibiza • June 30th – July 6th 2026

Find all retreat details here

Please note all prices are in AUD. You will need to manually convert to GBP or USD to find your currency.

Find Helen here:
Instagram
Online Yoga Studio

And if you do end up coming…

God, I cannot wait to meet you there.

Liv x

What you actually want. Or what seems to want you.

I notice, again and again, an over-emphasis on being wanted and an under-emphasis on developing desire.

There is a lot of skill in learning how to be attractive, magnetic, wanted. There is far less skill taught around learning how to know wh…

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This episode may poke the bear a little bit but don’t worry, it’s long for a reason. I spent a lot of time thinking and preparing for what this would be like to listen to and what the different parts of you would need when you listened.

I wanted you to feel challenged, in all the good ways, and also really held and cared for as we moved through the underpinnings of what I think, is a big enquiry.

The starting question: When did you last actually look at what staying is costing you?

Note: this is NOT what changing is going to cost you. A lot of you are seasoned and aware of what transformation is and what change will cost you.

I know you’ve thought about that. A lot. Most of us have that list pretty dialled in. The discomfort. The uncertainty. The fear of getting it wrong. The fear of what people will think. The fear of who you’ll have to become on the other side of it.

That list? We know it well.

But the other list. The one that tracks what staying is taking from you. The clarity you’ve lost. The self-trust that’s eroded. The energy that goes into managing a version of your life that no longer fits. The time that keeps passing while you wait for the right moment to move.

That one we don’t look at nearly as often.

And I think that’s one of the most expensive things we do.

When we have no idea the true cost of some of our choices. And when it costs us our self-trust, our energy, our time, our clarity…it’s worth exploring.

In this episode I go into a ruthless exploration of this. This idea that the cost of not changing is not zero. That it just doesn’t come with a visible number. It doesn’t announce itself. It doesn’t land in your inbox as an itemised invoice. It just silently debits from your account, month after month, year after year, until one day you look up and something fundamental is missing and you can’t quite trace back to where you lost it.

You feel my friends?

I talk through three examples of women paying that invisible invoice - coined as The Second Invoice. The relationship she won’t leave even though she already knows. The career she’s outgrown but keeps showing up to. The woman who keeps telling herself she’ll invest in her own growth when the timing is better. And I name what each situation is really costing them underneath the surface. Because I think when we see it spelled out, it creates the opportunity for something to shift.

I also go into why we do this. Why we keep choosing the invisible cost over the visible one even when part of us knows better. And it’s not because we’re not smart enough or brave enough. It’s something deeper than that. This is really important for us to understanding.

And I leave you with a question that I hope sits with you, I hope it shows up in your journal and I hope if you feel called to, you write to me and share with me what it brought up for you. I’m here and ready.

Press play. I think you need to hear this one.

→ Listen to You’re Already Paying above on Video or Audio or below on Spotify or Youtube.

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And if you’re ready to invest in yourself and feel complete with waiting for things to change, join for ORIGIN this weekend. An online group workshop for women wanting clarity, reprieve and forward motion. You can also receive 20% off a 1:1 Deep Dive when you sign up if you want the combo. There’s a great group gathering. This will be an intimate space with real coaching and support. Book below.

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It was a man and a woman explaining their needs to each other using very precise, therapy-style language in a very measured and clean way.

As I was watching this, my entire body recoiled in judgement and discomfort.

There was nothi…

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It’s been a while since I jumped on a live and it felt so good to just show up and talk to you all again this week. It’s been a really full week in the best way, and part of what’s made it feel so alive is that I dropped something brand new into the world.

It’s called Origin.

I want to tell you about it because if you’ve been circling my work or circling a decision in your own life, I think you need to know it exists.

Origin is a three-hour live group experience. It’s the first, first step. Even before the deep dive, before any longer container, before you know what you need. It’s the place you come when you need to orient yourself.

Here’s who I made it for.

You’re not in crisis. Nothing is obviously falling apart. But something feels off, like there’s a cost you’re paying that you haven’t fully named yet. You’re functioning well, maybe too well, and underneath that you’re circling something. A decision you can’t land on. A pattern you keep bumping into. A sense that something is shifting but you don’t quite know what’s on the other side yet. Something is emerging, things are changing and there is a whisper inside that this might be the right time for support.

In my world, I call this a threshold. And that’s where Origin meets you as you meet that edge, embrace that change or begin to navigate the transition.

In those three hours I’m going to take you through my three-part framework, the ecology of sustainable power: clarity, restoration, and stewardship. You’ll get a real taste of the tools and teachings I use in my six-month container, applied to something live and real in your life. You’ll leave with actual clarity and next steps that feel genuinely yours.

If you come live, you get my eyes directly on whatever you’re working with. Real time, real feedback, real holding. The replay will also be available as an evergreen purchase if you can’t make it, but the live experience is where the most juice is.

It’s £55 to join.

The next live date is Sunday, 4 to 7pm British Summer Time. That’s 11am to 2pm Eastern.

There’s also a discount on the deep dive at checkout if you already know you want both.

If something in this is landing for you, trust that. Sign up through the link in my bio. And if you’re not quite over the line yet, stay close because I’ll be sharing more about Origin every day over the next six days.

I can’t wait to see you there.

TICKETS HERE

Liv x

It’s not the moment where everything becomes clear.
It’s not the moment where you finally decide.

It’s the one just before that.

If you’ve been feeling a little in-between recently, not quite where you were but not yet in what’s next, this week’s podcast episode is for you.

I opened with a question, and I want to offer it to you here:

What truth about yourself have you been carrying for a long time, without fully acting on it?

Dig deeper here. Go beneath the surface. Let yourself marinate in it.

I’ve written before about a time in my life where everything reorganised and I returned to the “Original Thread” (you can read Provenance if you haven’t already), and this episode of the podcast really builds from there.

I’m speaking about this because most of the high-capacity, brilliant, somatically led and self-aware women do NOT have a clarity problem.

Let me repeat: you have so much more clarity than you think you do.

Your clarity is not the problem.

You actually have an orientation problem.

You are trying to move forward but you aren’t steady.

So you go round in circles.

This is where the body matters.

When you’re depleted or used to overriding yourself, clarity doesn’t land in the way you want it to. Not because it isn’t there, but because there’s no space to receive it. It literally cannot land until there is space, steadiness and self-trust.

In my work, this is where we begin.

Clarity — returning to the original truth you’ve always known.

Restoration — bringing your body back to a place where it can actually hold that truth.

And then Stewardship — moving forward from what’s real, rather than what feels urgent.

And this in-between place you might be in right now?

It’s not a problem.

You are in that exquisite moment right before everything lands.

If you take anything from this, let it be this:

You’re not behind.
You’re not doing it wrong.

You’re in a moment that needs care, tonnes and tonnes of care, not all that force and judgement that you may be without realising putting on yourself.

I’d really encourage you to listen to the full episode:

🎧 The Moment Just Before the Bloom is live now.

This is also the doorway into ORIGIN, a 3-hour live experience on Sunday 26th April.

And before that, I’m hosting a free masterclass tomorrow night:

Unshakeable Self Trust — Wednesday 15th April

Register for the free Masterclass here

With love,
Liv 🤍

For Youtube, Spotify & Apple:

We’ve been through Flubber, Honey I Shrunk the Kids, Cool Runnings, and his personal obsession, The Parent Trap. That last one he’s already watched twice and is angling for a third viewing. And honestly? I get it. The one-liners, the twin scheming…

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Happy Easter to you.

As we shift into what I call the true new year, which is the onset of Spring, I often find myself in a space of reflection of the year and the years past.

Memories have been flooding back. I’ve found myself recalling the Easters of the years gone by.

One memory is standing out and it was around this time two years ago,…

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Every Saturday morning, he’d put on his audacious robe and boots and water the plants in the garden. Naked underneath. Always.

If he was left in charge, he’d let me dress myself. I’d put weird shit together and feel great about it. He was alwa…

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This is a really deep truth. Maybe an uncomfortable one for some of us, but truthful all the same.

This episode on the Meat & Monogamy podcast has been a long time coming.

Clara Belize Wisner is a dear friend of mine, colleague and one of my trusted holders and guides into my own journey with feminine health, physiology, re-feeding myself back to a nourished state, mineral re-balancing, deep nutrition, cycle tracking and pre-conception support work.

Clara is a fountain of wisdom and as you’ll hear in this episode, delivers simple and very important truths (that aren’t always common knowledge) about female health in ways that are deeply hearable. She’s also someone who deeply walks her talk in her own life and I find that to be a deeply important consideration when it comes to who to listen to in this arena. Clara is a the real deal.

In today’s episode, we sit down to speak about nourishment and very quickly it’s clear that we aren’t talking about food in the way that its usually spoken about.

We were talking about what it actually means to take care of yourself as a woman. What it means to build your life from the body up, rather than from the mind down.

Clara shared her story of being deeply undernourished for years, and I found myself recognising the pattern immediately. Not just in her, but in so many of the women I work with.

These are not women who lack ambition or desire. They are capable, intelligent, and deeply committed to building meaningful lives.

But they are under-resourced.

They are trying to build full lives in bodies that are depleted, underfed, and running on stress. And for a while, that works. Until it doesn’t.

One of the things Clara named very explicitly is that most women aren’t eating enough. She describes this as a chronic issue, one that often is unquestioned and one that has a really deep impact on a woman’s wellbeing.

It affects your mood, your patience, your relationships, your ability to think clearly, your ability to hold what is in front of you. It affects your capacity.

A question I was curious about was….What is actually available to you when your body is properly nourished… versus when it isn’t?

Because I see so many amazing, capable, brilliant women trying to expand their lives without ever asking that question.

What Clara described was that when she began eating enough, everything shifted.

Her mood stabilised.
Her relationships softened.
Her ability to set boundaries strengthened.
She moved from reacting to her life to responding to it.

And as she spoke, it became so clear that so much of what women are seeking, self-trust, self-leadership, emotional steadiness, is deeply physiological.

We also spoke about safety. And this was a really tender part of the episode for me because it rang so true. So many women feel unsafe in their bodies.

And what I’ve seen to be true is that you cannot truly open or trust yourself if you do not feel safe in your body. And your body cannot feel safe if its basic needs are not being met.

Bringing safety to the body - through adequate nourishment and basic care is simple work but it is often not always easy work. I have lived this deeply in my own journey. And it is so important and worth it to explore this.

For so many women, this requires a real shift in how you’ve learned to live. It can bring things to the surface. It can ask for change. It can destablise you and feel like loosing control for a period of time.

Clara and I talked about how much easier this work of tending and nourishing yourself is when you are deeply supported in the process.

This is what I so deeply appreciate about Clara’s work. There is a clarity and depth to what she offers, but also a very practical, grounded way of guiding women through it. Here are my words from our work together..I mean they speak for themselves.

So if you feel like you might be ready for something like this on your own journey, Clara has finally condensed her key teachings into a really accessible course called Deep Nourishment and it’s starting live this Monday 30th.

This course sits somewhere between deep enough that it touches the part of you that’s ready to make some changes but gentle enough that it’s not overwhelming or too much for the part of you that’s resistant. This programme is offered in a structured way of learning how to support yourself properly and overs the basic principles over 8 weeks. I’m so excited she now finally has something like this for people to experience as a first step or return to deeper your skills.

For my readers, if you’d like to join Deep Nourishment, you can use the code OLIVIA at checkout for 10% off. You can find more information here.

For those of you looking for somewhere more simpler to start, Clara recommended these things to come back to:

• Get to know yourself.

• Pay attention to your body.

• Notice your hunger, your energy, your cycle.

• Create space to actually hear what is there.

Because something in you already knows.

If you recognise yourself in any part of this, I really encourage you to listen to the full conversation.

It’s a beautiful, honest, and deeply grounding exploration of what becomes possible when a woman is truly nourished.

🎧 Listen to the full episode: Deep Nourishment with Clara Wisner on Apple Podcasts
🔗 Explore Clara’s work and Deep Nourishment

🎧 Listen to the full episode: Deep Nourishment with Clara Wisner on Spotify and watch on Youtube below.

Read Clara’s gorgeous writing on Substack at her publication and find her on Instagram here.

How did you find this episode? What stuck? What flung off you like a gust of wind? What will you be still thinking about when you wake up tomorrow?

Write to us below.

We’d love to hear from you,

Olivia & Clara