Dear Roses,

Please continue to cling to Jesus Christ, our Hope!

The same Word through which all things were created made this promise:

“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert” (Isaiah 43:19).

Even in the driest, most barren, and seemingly dead places of our hearts and lives, the Divine Bridegroom—who conquered sin and death—can bring His Risen Life.

The Bridegroom never stops pursuing His Bride. He is not discouraged by our weakness, our wounds, our fears, or the seasons when we feel spiritually dry. He enters the wilderness not to condemn us, but to meet us there. The places we are tempted to hide from Him are often the very places where He desires to reveal His mercy, His tenderness, and His transforming love.

Perhaps you have been praying for healing that seems delayed, longing for deeper intimacy with Christ, carrying hidden grief, or wondering whether your “yes” still matters. Do not lose heart.

The Lord who called Mary Magdalene by name outside the empty tomb still calls each of His beloved daughters today. He sees beyond what is broken and beholds the woman He is continually restoring in His grace.

The Bridegroom delights in making all things new. He does not merely patch what has been damaged; He renews, sanctifies, and beautifies. As we remain close to Him through prayer, the sacraments, and faithful surrender, He gradually transforms our hearts until they reflect His own.

No desert is beyond His reach. No wound is too deep for His mercy. No darkness is stronger than His Resurrection.

Continue to entrust yourself to Jesus Christ, our Hope. He is faithful to every promise He has made. The One who created all things by His Word is still speaking life into His beloved Bride.

Come, Lord Jesus.

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I offer for your prayer today a reflection on the First Reading from the Office of Readings, Micah 4:1-7.

What has been striking me is the repetition in God’s Word is not just the deep compassion and tenderness He has for us but His promise that He cares for the afflicted, the weak, the lame, the widows and orphans, the outcasts. How often do we believe the lie that our weakness makes us unworthy of His love? Or we feel shame and guilt because we are afflicted and weak? These thoughts and feelings are not rooted in God’s truth. He is close to the brokenhearted and transforms our garment of affliction into a robe of His glory! (cf Psalm 34 and Baruch 5)

So today, let us lift up our heads, straighten our crowns of His everlasting glory, and ask for the grace to stand firm in His Truth. Be rooted in your true identity… Beloved child of God and bride of Christ the King. 👑

“For all the peoples walk each in the name of its god,But we will walk in the name of the Lord, our God, forever and ever. On that day, says the Lord, I will gather the lame,And I will assemble the outcasts, and those whom I have afflicted. I will make of the lame a remnant, and of those driven far off a strong nation; And the Lord shall be king over them on Mount Zion, from now on forever.”

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My nightly reading this month is a collection of gems of wisdom from the mystic Adrienne von Speyr. This one sentence jewel has kept me pondering for two days. The connection to St. Paul’s statement in 2 Corinthians 12:9 was immediately evident.

“The power of God fills the saints, but they often feel it as an infinite weakness.“ Adrienne von Speyr

“…but he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

2 Corinthians 12:9

Union with Christ fills our weakness with His almighty power. And, yet, the more we experience His power, the more acutely we are aware of our weakness. We need not fear our weakness and must remember that feeling powerless is not the same as being powerless. Feelings are not facts. United with Jesus and His Cross, the truth is that we are stronger than we or anyone could imagine.

The Saints did not strive for power as the world defines it. No, their desire and goal was transforming union with Jesus the Bridegroom, for union with God. He does not give only pieces of Himself to be shared with His brides. He gives Himself in totality - His love, wisdom, and power. All He is and all He has, He gives without reserve. After all, the Holy Trinity is the icon of marital love and total, free, faithful, and fruitful gift of self.

Let us pray. Lord Jesus, May I desire union with You, my Divine Bridegroom above all else. I do believe in Your almighty power. I do believe that You have spoken Truth and, therefore, Your grace is sufficient for me and Your power is perfected in my weakness. Help me to remember these truths in moments when I feel powerless, helpless, weak, and not enough. May I cling evermore tightly to You and Your Cross and with St. Paul, boast in my weakness so Your power might rest on me. Amen.

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I posted this announcement in the Hope’s Garden Mighty Networks communities and then the thought came to me that the larger Catholic community needs to know what the Bridegroom is doing. Every blessing, every healing, every miracle is a gift for the entire Body of Christ. I pray that this exciting news will strengthen and restore hope in all who hear it.

I also ask for your prayers. We cannot accomplish the mission the Lord has given us without the prayers and support of our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Hope’s Garden in Bloom

Hope’s Garden is blossoming with new growth! The first Hope’s Garden Home is being readied for four of us to move in. Four of the six women who have made private vows to Christ the Bridegroom through Hope’s Garden will be moving into an unused convent at the end of August. We will be living in community and supporting one another in our vocation to live as spouses of Christ in the midst of the world. We will also begin sharing the teachings and spirituality of Hope’s Garden with the communities of St. Robert and Williams and St. John of the Cross in Euclid, Ohio. Of course, we will continue all our virtual classes and support groups even as we begin offering these resources in-person.

As I am preparing to move and live in community, I have been spending more time in prayer and discernment of the mission of Hope’s Garden. I created a document that details this “new thing” the Lord is creating. I invite you to take a few minutes to read about community life at Hope’s Garden. You may not be called to join us but chances are you know someone in need of what Hope’s Garden offers. Or perhaps, you will feel called to help us in this work of healing hearts, marriages, and families.

I do hope this information will clarify for you the mission of Hope’s Garden, the opportunities available to participate in this mission, as well as offering you prayers and reading suggestions for your personal journey into union with Christ.

I believe that together with Our Lady of Guadalupe and her Son Jesus, we are helping to build a culture of life and love and restoring the domestic church. May hearts, marriages, and families be healed and made new.

Together in His Heart,

Laura

You can learn more about Hope’s Garden, join the community, or donate to our work at Hopesgarden.com

Every brushstroke of the painting below was a prayer for the Roses of Hope’s Garden. I began this piece several months ago after a rather emotionally intense Domestic Abuse Support group. I am grateful that technology allows me to minister to hurting women all around the world but how my heart longs to be with them face to face. Painting is often the way I process and pray and on this particular day, I was drawn to my studio immediately after signing off of Zoom.

The canvas was already sitting on my easel with the blue background. As I stood before it with tears in my eyes, I thought of Mama Mary’s mantle and envisioned white flowers showering down upon it.

I started painting simple pure white flowers and as the canvas begin to fill, I heard the words, “No one blooms alone” on repeat in my mind. Such peace enveloped me and I knew Jesus and Mary had heard not just my cries but the cries of all their wounded Roses. She is enfolding us all in her mantle of comfort and protection and we are never really alone. The certainty that they are working to make all things well calmed my mind and comforted my heart.

I hope that sharing the story behind this painting will comfort you and remind you of Our Lady’s message to St. Juan Diego and all of us…

“Am I not here, I, who am your Mother? Are you not under my shadow and protection? Am I not the source of your joy? Are you not in the hollow of my mantle, in the crossing of my arms? Do you need anything more? Let nothing else worry or disturb you.”

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If you are seeking healing and support from the effects of domestic abuse, narcissistic abuse, betrayal trauma, or other forms of violations to your dignity, I invite you to come to Hope’s Garden.

Have you not heard that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit? (see 1 Corinthians 6:19) I had heard this truth again and again but recently I realized that I did not truly believe it. If I did, how could I treat my body in the harmful ways I had and still do? And then, I began the ministry of Hope’s Garden and met many other Catholic women with patterns of disordered eating and neglect of their bodies. What we all had in common was husbands with pornography addictions. A study conducted by Ohio State University found that this is not a coincidence. The research revealed a direct link between a male partner’s viewing of pornography and a woman’s increased engagement in eating disordered behaviors, increased guilty feelings about eating, and decreased contentment with their bodies. You can read a summary of the study here.

A burning desire to help myself and others heal and live in the truth consumed me. I began researching and praying into the Catholic Church’s teachings on the sacredness and dignity of our bodies. I also used the tools I had learned in my healing from C-PTSD to heal my own disordered eating and body image. These tools are therapeutic art and the CHRIST Program skills based on the neuroscience of transforming our patterns of thought and emotion. (You can learn more about the CHRIST Program from Hope’s Garden here.)

My latest book, Restoring the Temple of Your Body, published by EnRoute Books and Media, is the integration of the therapeutic art activities, teachings from the Catechism and St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, and evidence-based therapeutic skills that I have found most helpful in the work of healing our disordered eating and unhealthy thought patterns. The goal of working through this self-guided journal is to help Catholic women find healing in Christ for their distorted body image and disordered relationship with food. My prayer is that we will begin to not just “know” that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit but that we will live rooted in this truth and bloom into the women God created us to be.

I would like to leave you with this passage from the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the passage with which Restoring the Temple of Your Body begins:

You can purchase Restoring the Temple of Your Body on the EnRoute and Hope’s Garden websites or on Amazon.

If you are a Catholic women seeking healing and restoration from spousal abuse and/or betrayal, I invite you to join our online community, Hope’s Garden.

If you are a Catholic men seeking healing and fellowship to help you grow in your faith and likeness to Christ, I invite you to join the Hope’s Garden online community, Men of Hope.

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honey coated lies dripped into my ears

and down my throat

once intoxicated

clipping my wings was painless

drunk on your sweet poison

I willingly stumbled into my cage -

the prison you deceptively called our home

days....

months....

years....

you served me toxic nectar

insidiously contaminating my mind, body, soul

insidiously morphing lies into truths

“You are so weak”

“You can’t take care of yourself”

“You are worthless”

“You need me”

“You can’t live without me”

your taunting cruel voice

echoed and clamored within the walls of my cage

although too faint to be heard

the weeping longing whispers of

my forgotten wings would not be silenced

days....

months.....

years.....

and drop by drop

bit by bit

your poison began to leave me

my wings began to heal and rejuvenate

their whispers grew into a shout

“we do exist.... we are your wings.

unfurl and outstretch us...

feel our power”

as my wings came alive

your deceptions crumbled

I tore your veil of lies

and stood face to face with

the truth you feared I would know

I was not created

to be caged

to stumble

to crawl

to be dead alive

to have your venom coursing through my soul

I was created to fly

stop staring at the empty cage you hold

look up to the infinitely vast sky

watch in disbelief

as I spread my glorious wings, catch the wind,

and soar far from your captivity

into the boundless freedom calling my name

Poem and artwork by LauraErcolino.com

Jesus the Bridegroom does not ask us to ignore pain or suffer illness without recourse to medical help. He does not ask us to suffer just for the sake of suffering. St. Gertrude the Great wrote that the Lord told her to seek human remedies for her suffering, to do all she could to take care of her physical health and any suffering, illness, or pain that remained was what He was asking her to bear with Him.

As I continue to suffer chronic illness, an idiopathic autoimmune disorder, and the chronic pain it causes, I have found comfort and peace in Jesus the Bridegroom of my soul. In leaning on His Most Compassionate Heart, I am learning what true spousal love is intended to be. When one spouse suffers, the other suffers too and does all they can to alleviate the beloved’s pain. This is nowhere more evident than in my relationship with Christ. I believe He speaks to me and you the same words of comfort that He spoke to St. Faustina:

If you have been reading my articles for even a short time, you know that my favorite book of Scripture is the Song of Songs. I read, contemplate, and pray with the Song of Songs daily. I would like to share a prayer of mine with those of you who are also enduring the suffering of chronic illness.

I invite you to turn off your phone, after you finish reading this article, and take a moment to rest in the Bridegroom’s shade. Lean of His Most Compassionate Heart and let Him restore you with His raisin cakes and apples of love. Truly, His fruit is sweet to the taste and the healing remedy for our hearts, souls, and bodies.

Together in His Heart,

Laura

P.S. I have recorded prayerful meditations inspired by the Song of Songs. You can find them on the Hope’s Garden Prayer Podcast, The Bridegroom Speaks Podcast, and the Hope’s Garden You Tube Channel.

We all go through our own Egypts and seasons of wandering in the desert. My Egypt and my desert was my 29 year marriage; a land barren of love and devoid of any shade from the scorching sun of another’s wounds and brokenness. What thirsting I endured! Such a thirsting and searching for even just a dew drop of compassion.

In 2015, God asked me if I was willing to trust Him to lead me out of Egypt even though the journey to the land flowing with milk and honey would take us through another desert, the desert of divorce. I had adapted to life in the desert and God knew He needed to not only lead me gently and slowly out of the desert but He also needed to shake the desert out of me. With fear and trembling, I gave Him my hand and said, “Yes. Lead me to the Living Water.” He so tenderly received my hand and placed it in the hands of His Son, Christ the Bridegroom. I did not recognize my Lord as my Bridegroom at first but as He spoke tenderly to my heart on our journey across this new desert terrain He lifted the veil over my heart and revealed Himself to me.

The journey through the desert of divorce was dangerous, exhausting, and long, but the Bridegroom never left me to perish from dehydration. He sustained me with His Living Water.

Just as heavy rain on dry land runs off or evaporates before the thirsty ground can absorb it, a parched and scorched heart cannot take in a torrent of Love. And so my Gentle Bridegroom came at first as the dew fall – imperceptible, gentle, and silent. He soothed my thirsty heart just enough to sustain me and create a longing for more… more of His refreshment. As I recognized that what I thirsted for, what refreshed my weary heart, and what alone would keep me alive in the desert, was Christ and only Christ, I prayed, sobbed, and begged for more of His Living Water.

And always He was there, waiting, to pour Himself upon me.

And when what I needed was a time of clouds with no rain so that my heart might deeply soak in and absorb the puddles of His Love, He stopped the rain for just long enough.

Jesus led me out of my Egypt and with every step, every touch of His feet upon the sand of my desert heart, a stream of Living Water appeared and life blossomed.

If you are thirsting in your own desert or your heart is a desert barren of hope, Christ your Bridegroom is calling to you…

“I am with you here in this place of dryness and thirsting. Reach for Me, call out to Me, open yourself to Me. I desire to fill you with Living Water, to quench your thirst, and to love you into full bloom.”

Prayer: Yes, Jesus, my Bridegroom! I open my desert heart to You. Please rain Your Living Water onto the dry sand and let life blossom within me. May I bloom into the beautiful desert flower You see in me. As Your Life-giving Water quenches my thirst may I love others from the overflow so that more and more desert hearts will come alive and blossom. In Your Holy Name, I pray. Amen

Together in His Heart,

Laura

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To those whose dignity has been violated, You are a Beloved child of the Father, Beloved spouse of the Son, and Temple of the Holy Spirit. Jesus, your gentle Savior desires to speak His words of truth and healing to you.

“It is not too late. I see you…

I see your beautiful radiant soul blooming

like a pure white rose;

I see your broken yet still beating, still loving heart;

I see your resilient marvelous body;

I see the pain, shame, and fear you carry like a crushing cross...

and I love you.

You are precious to Me.

You are my Beloved.

I await your coming to me.

I desire to heal you, to lift the cross from your shoulders, and to dance with you.

The shame that holds you captive is not yours.

I have seen you always.

I know this sin and shame that poison you and keep you from running to My arms does not belong to you. And I want you to hear Me say:

Enough. No more.

My Beloved, you have suffered long enough

under the weight of sin and shame that are not your burden to carry.

If you will only invite me into your wounds, into your aching heart, into your fear, and into your memories,

I will love you into wholeness

and clothe you with the garment of dignity and grace.

I await your coming to me

for I will not violate or force.

I am Love... I am only Love... Love is who I am...

and my loving is gentle, patient, and trustworthy.”

Dear Jesus, Yes... I invite You into all my brokenness, my wounds, and my memories, even those that I keep hidden from myself. Help me grow in trust so I might truly believe that I am safe with You. I desire to hear Your voice of Truth and Love, to hear You call me Your Beloved. Please come, Lord, and touch me with Your gentle healing hands and fill my mind and heart with Your peace. Thank You, Jesus, for seeking and finding me so that I may be healed and know wholeness and love again. In Your Most Precious Name, I pray. Amen.

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Within the cross is life
And consolation.
It alone is the road
Leading to heaven.

This sacred cross,
An olive tree so dear,
With its oil anoints us
Giving us light.
My soul, take up this cross
Rich with consolations great.
It alone is the road
Leading to heaven.

Saint Teresa of Avila

Poetry, 19 (excerpt)
The Way of the Cross

In my prayer recently, I heard the voice of the Bridegroom say, “Tell them that the entrance to the eternal wedding is cruciform. My brides must resemble their Bridegroom. Remember, the Cross is only the door and what awaits within is joy beyond their understanding.”

I have spent several weeks praying and meditating on these words and want to share with you what I have come to understand.

God in His goodness and mercy, sent His only Son to live, suffer, die, and rise again so that His loving obedience might open the door to the eternal marriage for all souls.

His path is ours. His brides must resemble Him. We must pass through the cruciform doorway in order to enter the eternal marriage feast and forever be one with our Divine Bridegroom.

Understanding, as much as my little human mind can, this truth has shifted my perspective on pain and suffering.

This we know and believe: The Cross is not the end of our Bridegroom’s story. It is the marriage bed from which our redemption was born.

Whatever suffering you are enduring in this season is not the end of your story. It is in your suffering that Christ invites you into intimacy and union with Him. As He carries your cross with you, He leads you up the spiraling ascent of the mountain of God - the unique path He has planned just for you. And He alone knows the way you need to travel to arrive at the resurrection and redemption He has awaiting you.

Father God, grant us the grace to embrace every suffering, You allow, in this earthly pilgrimage with loving obedience just as our Bridegroom embraced His Cross. Give us eyes to see trials and tribulations as marriage preparation and steps toward an eternity of joy! Draw us in His footsteps so we may pass through the cruciform gate that leads to the unveiled vision of Jesus in all His glory and beauty. Amen.

Together in His Heart.

Laura 🌹

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On this Fifth Sunday of Lent, many of us will hear the gospel story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. This story holds much meaning for me. It reminds me of the Lord’s promise that He would raise me from the soul death of marital abuse and the chronic illness it had caused. As I struggled against despair during the 3 year court process toward freedom and new life, I would often sense Jesus telling me to go back and read the story of Lazarus again.

And then, on Valentine’s Day 2019, 4 months after my divorce was finalized, Jesus came and called me out of the tomb I had been buried within. He came and He touched me and filled my pain ridden body, mind, and heart with His light and resurrection power. He raised me from soul death just as He had raised Lazarus from physical death.

Just days after Jesus came and opened my tomb by healing my chronic pain and PTSD, I sketched this drawing as a reminder of the moment He raised me to new life. I truly felt like He had raised me from the dead! He had come and opened the tomb I had been buried in… the tomb of my own body… and called to me to come out and begin a new life with Him.

As I have pondered the miracle of new life the Lord worked in my life, I realized that the tomb is the space where death and life meet, where what was once violated, ruptured, desecrated, and believed to be lifeless, cold, and defeated is, through His resurrection power, raised to new life.

New life in Christ happens IN the tomb. Just as the new life of the butterfly happens in the tomb of the chrysalis.

We do not need to fear death or our tombs if we invite Christ to be with us, if we unite ourselves to His death and moments in the tomb, if in our tombs we do not give in to fear of the dark or despair but rather claim His resurrection power and wait, He will come and raise us to new life. So if you are buried alive in a tomb of suffering, depression, addiction, anxiety, grief, or whatever your personal tomb is, wait with patient anticipation for the Dawn - the Dawn of the Sun of Justice - the Dawn of the Son of Love and Mercy, Hope and Healing.

Wait.. for He will come... the Sun always rises. Always!

He is calling to each one of us to come out of the tombs of our pasts and live anew with Him. May we respond to His voice inviting us to rise again to life in Him.

Together in His Heart,

Laura 🌹

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If you have not heard my story of how Jesus the Bridegroom came and healed my spousal wounds, here is the video.

I’ve written these reflections on the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary for those of us who have been wounded by betrayal. Anyone we’ve allowed ourselves to trust or love, or with whom we’ve risked vulnerability, has the power to betray us. A spouse’s infidelity or pornography addiction, resulting in Betrayal Trauma, is an especially devastating betrayal. Many of us suffering other betrayals - whether by our spouses, friends, siblings, our children, or persons in positions of authority or counsel such as parents, therapists or priests - are left with confusion and heartache.

As we pray the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary, let us reflect on the many forms of betrayal Jesus endured including the times we betray our Lord, whether intentionally or unintentionally. With a heart shattered by the grief of betrayal, He willingly accepted His Passion and death. Jesus chose Love, love of His betrayers, because He is Love. Let us ask our Lord and Blessed Mother for mercy and forgiveness when we betray others and for the courage and the strength to love those who betray us.

It is my hope that walking through the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary with these betrayal focused reflections will bring you comfort and healing. Know that you are not alone - Jesus and our Blessed Mother are with you.

Betrayed: The Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary for those healing from betrayal

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“No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13

When we are in relationship with people who violate our dignity, abuse or manipulate us, laying down our life for them becomes a matter of safety. Is our Lord telling us we must make a gift of self to anyone and everyone? When is it right and holy to shut the door to our hearts and to protect our bodies and minds?

A friend shared this reflection that the Lord blessed her with at daily Mass. i asked her if I could share with all of you. I pray that her inspired insights will aid you in discerning who is worthy of receiving the gift that you are.

“As the priest said, “This is my body given up for you,” I was struck as usual with the reality that this is what we are called to do, too: to make a gift of our very flesh, our very selves. But then I thought that surely we are not to give ourselves to just anybody and certainly not to those who are abusive. I felt the Lord say that that is correct, that is why we must say “Amen” to receive the Eucharist worthily. He does not give Himself in the Eucharist to those who take and eat unworthily, and neither are we to do that. Our bodies are sacred, as His is Sacred, and there must be a reverent “amen” given to us and to what love truly is before we are to give ourselves away.”

Jesus, our Eucharistic Lord, grant us wisdom and discernment as we strive to live and love as You do. Amen.

Together in His Heart,

Laura

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“Christ’s Side was pierced to give us life just as the side of Adam was opened and life was given to the first bride, Eve. When Christ’s side was pierced and opened, the Blood and Water that makes us His brides, the water that washes us clean in baptism and the Blood that feeds us, that nourishes us, that is our life in the Eucharist, flowed forth. This is how precious we are to him. This is our dignity, that we are brides born from His pierced Side.

To say that we are worthless, that we are unimportant, that our bodies and souls are not worth caring for, is to say His Precious Blood is of no value; to say that His sacrifice, the sacrifice of His own life, is meaningless and unimportant. To think that we need to somehow perfect ourselves and heal our own brokenness before we are worthy of being His brides is a lie. He gave His life for us while we were still sinners. He became one of the broken so He could be one with the broken. It is His love that perfects us, that heals us. On our own, we can do nothing.

So may Mother Mary carry our weak and broken, tired bodies to the foot of the Cross, that we may be there with her, that we might feed our lovesick Bridegroom with the raisin cakes and apples of our love and devotion, of our thanksgiving and our praise. May we be there with Him in the moment when the spear pierced His Side and His Precious Blood and Living Water poured out. May It flow over us and wash away the lies and distortions of the enemy so that we might see Him for who He truly is - the Bridegroom of our souls and the Healer of our hearts who loves us beyond measure. We are His beloved ones and His desire is for us. May we see ourselves through His pure gaze and recognize our true worth and dignity as His brides born from His pierced Side.”

Together in His Heart,

Laura

If you suffer from loneliness, isolation, and hopelessness, I invite you to come to Hope’s Garden and encounter the healing presence of Jesus the Bridegroom. You are not alone.

I wrote this gentle daily examen for all of us who tend towards scrupulosity and harsh self-criticism. As survivors of domestic abuse, we need the Lord’s grace and the help of a supportive community to overcome the harsh voices that replay in our minds. We have not known tenderness and mercy. We often believe that we don’t deserve to be treated with gentleness and kindness. Yet these are exactly the attributes of God’s love.

I hope that as you pray with this gentle examen, you will grow in trust of God’s mercy and steadfast love for you. Remember, we are called to love others as we love ourselves and to love as God loves. May the Lord and His gentle Mother teach us what love really is.

Together in His Heart,

Laura

Prayer cards of the Gentle Daily Examen are available in the Hope’s Garden Shop.

If you are a survivor of domestic abuse or spousal betrayal, I invite you to join the Hope’s Garden Mighty Networks virtual community. We offer support groups, prayer gatherings, workshops, scripture studies and more for Catholic women. Hope, healing, and accompaniment await you at Hope’s Garden.

The journey out of the darkness of abuse and trash suffering into the light of Christ’s love and truth must be taken slowly and with patience for eyes accustomed to darkness are blinded by His light.

I first heard the term “trash suffering” when I was speaking with a priest friend of my oldest daughter. She had begged me to talk to him near the end of my marriage when the abuse had escalated and my youngest daughter was hospitalized for an eating disorder at only 8 years old. He told me that I was confused about redemptive suffering.

I believed that my staying in this abusive marriage was the cross God was asking me to bear and that by accepting this suffering and offering it up for my husband, I could help save him. This priest said that abuse is always trash suffering. It is the result of someone choosing to sin. Redemptive suffering is not directly related to sin. He told me to read the USCCB’s document, “When I Call for Help” and to consider that the way to help my husband was to no longer allow him to abuse my children and myself - to stop the trash suffering.

May our Lord grant us the wisdom to know which crosses come from His loving hands and which are made of another’s sins. And may our Mother Mary, who like the moon gently reflects the blinding light of the sun, lead us out of the darkness and into the healing light of her Son.

I was meditating this morning on the truth that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and that my body makes visible the invisible realities hidden in God. (Pope John Paul II) I have struggled for many years to overcome the lie that my body is my “enemy”. The abuse I endured led me to believe that my body was to blame, that my body was an obstacle to my desire to be holy, that my body was a burden I needed to be rid of.

The abuse has ended but the physical effects remain. Chronic pain now tempts me to believe these same lies. And yet, God’s truth has taken root in my heart and mind. I choose to believe that caring for my body is holy work, is prayer, is God’s will. My body - tired and weak, sick and ridden with pain- is sacred, a temple of the Holy Spirit. He does not cease to dwell within me even though through human eyes it appears that this temple is falling apart! In sickness and in health, I am His and He is mine.

I will choose His truth over the lies and I will accept the holy work of caring for His temple with tenderness and compassion. May He grant me the grace to see my body as He does.

We are all well acquainted with the darkness. And, I believe, we have all experienced at least glimpses of the light St. John describes. We have encountered the living God in Christ Jesus. When the darkness attempts to swallow and suffocate us, to snuff out the last embers of His light within us, we must hold onto our memory of His light and love.

I imagine that deep in their roots, the flowers buried under the winter snow remember the light of the sun. Somewhere deep in our roots we hold the memory of His Light and it is this memory that gives us courage to keep blooming in the darkness.

May the Lord grant us the grace and fortitude needed to cling to our memories of His Light in our seasons of suffering and grief. May we, like the rose, hold onto the memory of the sunlight and never give up seeking its warmth.

Together in His Heart,

Laura 🌹

Dear lovely Roses of Our Lady,

I prayed for all of you as I painted late last night. I began just playing with the leftover purple and red violet on my palette and as the colors and water flowed and blended and beauty began to bloom on the paper, Baruch 5 began playing in my mind.

Baruch 5:1-4 is a Scripture that the Bridegroom draws me back to again and again. I often read it at our support group meetings. As I read this beautiful, restorative, and hopeful Scripture aloud, I ask the ladies to stand straight and tall and to move as though they are doing as God instructs in these verses. We finish by placing the “diadem of the glory of the Everlasting” upon our heads and committing to remember that we are daughters of the King and brides of the Divine Bridegroom Jesus. We will walk with our heads held high so our crowns do not slip!

Here is the full passage of Baruch 5:1-4 and my painting for your prayer and meditation:

Baruch 5

Take off the garment of your sorrow and affliction, O Jerusalem,

and put on forever the beauty of the glory from God.

2

Put on the robe of the righteousness that comes from God;

put on your head the diadem of the glory of the Everlasting;

3

for God will show your splendor everywhere under heaven.

4

For God will give you evermore the name,

“Righteous Peace, Godly Glory.”

May you hear with the ears of your heart the voice of the Bridegroom singing this truth over you.

Hope’s Garden

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