The reason is two-fold:

1. I have so much. I do not technically need more. I do not use what I have. I can’t be buying more stuff when I’m not using what I already have.

2. Save that money post wedding and pre-holidays and winter ski trips.

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There is actually a lot out there right now about buying less, so I’m going to come back with another post with some insight from those who have walked this path before me. But for now, and occasionally in the future, here is what I’ve been eyeing and buying. Perhaps this can morph into a recommendations from what I have and wishlist only thing to avoid spending that coin.

1. Agolde Low Curve Jeans are stiff, but not too stiff. Mid-rise that can be worn low or high depending on size. If a wide leg, straight leg, and barrel leg had a baby. Perfect length for flats and low heels if you’re 5’4-5’5 like me.

2. CYKLAR Nutrient Rich Body Cream in Naked Neroli smells so good I don’t even know what to do about it. It is both summery and refined. Could definitely be worn year round but I’ll probably try Sacred Santal for the colder months. And the formula is perfect, it’s so moisturizing but still light and sinks in quickly.

3. This Maeve Cotton Wide Scoop-Neck Tank is so flattering on and feels a little more special than your average white tank. For those of us going into fall seasons (and if you are, it could be warm until October, let’s be real), it can be worn under a cardi or light jacket.

4. No one is talking about these m.ph by Mary Phillips Lip Ciggy Sheer Lipstick Balm enough, especially the color Lose My Breath. Small for targeted application. Is exactly what it says, a sheer lipstick balm, can be layered up for more color. Feels so good on the lips. One of the few times I feel like my lips look the product photos. Lose My Breath adds just the right amount depth and warmth to the lips.

5. I saw a TikTok talking about how jeans and flip-flop season is almost over and how special it is and how impossible it is to recreate that look and feeling in the fall and winter. It did make me start to panic a little, because it’s true. Flip flops are modern, minimalist, casual, and just “off” enough for many outfits to make it interesting. A traditional ballet flat is too proper, a loafer usually covers too much of the foot. It can’t be a mule, because that’s only buying us a limited amount of time by covering our toes but not our heels. It’s not a longterm solution, as much as I love a mule. LOVE. After some research the best I’ve come up with so far are perhaps these. There are many versions from many brands, but it’s a more modern and casual type of ballet flat that is the right amount of ugly to make an outfit interesting.

This was fun! Hope you have an excellent weekend and see you next Tuesday! <3

Defining your personal style is the work of a lifetime, but by your thirties I’d say you start to see things more clearly. I’m someone who gets easily overwhelmed by choice and loves to figure myself out, so I’ve been trying to define what makes me me. This is just as much about how I want to move through the world as it is about how I want to look and shape my surroundings. I have been building a Canva board with my findings and obviously, I want to share the process., but I think it’s best to start simple, as in, the vibe you can expect to find when visiting out to sea.

’s three word method has been a guiding light for many fashion lovers these past few years, myself included. It provides some limitation for someone like me who can overthink themselves to death, but enough room to really capture the bulk of someone’s style.

Allison advises:

• Your first word should be practical - what are your regulars, what is your reality, etc.

• Your second word should be aspirational - how do you hope to look

• Your third word is emotional - how do you want to feel

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Now, I am still struggling with the exact exact words (I told you I overthink!), but this is good enough for now.

While I can be taken in by a sparkly feathered top or a sculptural dress or an outrageous accessory, what I will always, always be searching for, reaching for, yearning for, are the basics. I will never tire of the denim, t-shirts, sweaters, blazers, etc. that are the perfect fit and could have been worn 10, 20, 30, 40 years ago.

I thought perhaps these were my emotional words, and in a way, they could be. I certainly like to feel relaxed. But I think more so, this is my weak spot, so I am putting it in the aspirational category. I have many pieces in my life that check this box. I gravitate towards these items instinctually. I save many examples of this look, this feeling. But there is a line that I must walk when it comes to casualness, because too far in that direction, and it no longer feels like me, and instead it feels like I am trying to play some cool girl I saw walking around Brooklyn.

If nothing else, this is how I want to feel. Even if that means I’ve failed at my aspirational second word and had to stick to something classic and polished.

The thought that immediately came into my head while writing that sentence is “because then I cannot be judged”, which is a little sad and something to unpact at a later time. But I think, it is mostly me who is doing the judging. I could spend the rest of the day/evening after getting dressed wondering about my outfit if it feels off, trying to solve it like a puzzle, UNLESS I feel polished. Then, I can let go. Sure, it would’ve been fun to do something more adventurous, but when it’s not 100% working and the clock is ticking, this is where I can plant my white flag and rest easy.

Okay, this is making me itch to share my birthchart to talk about personal style and what astrology says. That’ll come soon, I’m sure.

See you Thursday! (Fingers crossed)

Leading up to my wedding, I began dreaming about life when I was no longer planning what was essentially a huge group project in a foreign country. There were so many things I did not have the capacity for that I couldn’t wait to dig into again.

One of them was this Substack.

I’ve repackaged and redesigned this corner of the internet more times than I can count. It never feels quite right, so I put it down and come back later to try again. Each time erasing all previous attempts, as if they don’t count for anything. If it didn’t turn out how I imagined it in my head, it might as well not exist.

Well, it turns out, you’re allowed to keep trying. No one is keeping track but you. No one even cares but you. You’re usually the only one judging yourself, the only one measuring and calculating each misstep and how far it got you off course. I know this to be true and yet, I have a hard time accepting it. There is always, always an air of hesitation hovering around me.

Then a video like this comes along my TikTok feed (I’m trying to quit!!!) and you know what? Hell yeah. My mom is dead. WHO CARES. I’m going to write my little Substack and have myself a time.

So, come join me out at sea.

Why the name out at sea?

Floating in the sea can be seen as peaceful or aimless. You can play in the sea or be lost at sea. You can ride the waves or be taken under. The sea is not good or bad, it just is. It ebbs and it flows.

What’s this Substack all about?

It is a home for my many research rabbit holes and superficial and not-so-superficial thoughts on fashion, beauty, mental health, wellness, interior design, and travel.

This Substack is for you if you like:

• Hyperfocused posts about a very particular type of makeup product or wash of jeans

• Journal entries on hopefully relatable feelings unless I’m the weirdo I’ve always suspected I am

• Edits and recommendations that are 🤌

Who is the girl out at sea?

Good question. I have a different answer in the About section, but I thought I’d make this a bit more fun.

• My style is VRG Girl meets Cos, I think?

• I’ve had mild to moderately difficult skin (and immune system) my whole life

• I like tiny and/or weird, silly handbags

• I have a shit ton of makeup for someone who will go weeks without wearing any

• I’ve been trying to stop picking at my cuticles for years and failing

• My current favorite jeans are Agolde Low Curve

Join the coven/cult/clique/clan or whatever

I’m just a girl standing in front of another girl asking her to subscribe to yet another girl’s Substack.

Subscribing means you’ll never miss a newsletter - every new post is sent directly to your email inbox. For a spam-free, ad-free reading experience, plus audio and community features, get the Substack app.

How much is a subscription, and what do I get?

For a time, most posts will be free while I get my bearings. My goal is to publish on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Eventually, about 1 out of 4 posts will be free, while the rest will be paid. Don’t want to pay? No worries. A free subscription is still a great way to support.

Subscriptions are $5.55 per month or $55.55 per year

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