I feel lucky to have been on the same planet as her for this long, and there’s nothing new to say about how amazing she is and all that she has done. I’ve read so many great takes and watched great clips of her performances this week. I actually waited two days to even look at the internet because I wasn’t ready to accept it just yet.

A little over two years ago I was part of a tribute show to Patsy, Loretta and Dolly and therefore did a deep dive into her life and songs and felt so honored to be able to commune with her music nightly for that period of time. I have to say that while she has her big hits that everyone including me love to play, her discography is much deeper and wider than the average music expert is aware of! Right now I can’t get ‘Light of a Clear Blue Morning’ (1977) out of my head. It’s so moving. I knew she remade it etc but this version in particular is my favorite. It does that thing that gives you chills midway through. I love when music does that.

Life is fragile and short! Our time on earth is precious. Sometimes I have sit and pause and think about that, and that’s when it occurs to me time just goes so fast.

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I’ve been reflecting deeply lately and busy with other things and I admit I haven’t been able to write as much as I want, but I am just as dedicated as ever to getting some writing done. The inner critic shows up saying things, ‘Well what do YOU even have to say?’ and sometimes it can be silencing, and other times, it makes me work even harder on myself and my writing. So I guess let’s see what happens next!

More to come. I love you.

xoxo mp

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What I’ve been wanting to write about and commemorate is that my first record - Forget Me Not (2006) - is 20 years old. 20 years! How is this possible? There was so much that went into the making of it, I could write a book about it. Maybe I am.

For me, releasing FMN was the first time I admitted to myself I wanted to be an artist. Prior to that, I was playing in bands, being a musician, and learning so much about what I wanted/didn’t want to do. I think for the early part of my life, I didn’t know that I could WANT something - I had spent most of my time thus far reacting to the environment I was in.

My mood in general was dictated by the moods of those around me. This could be exciting or very depressing! I hadn’t learned yet to be centered, to permit myself to put ‘shields up’ from certain types of energetic beings. I was basically a lap dog who wanted to please everyone around me. Obviously that didn’t work out well for a litany of relationships.

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Maybe this is something that is/was normalized in my generation and generations before and some after, for women. I’ve read a lot about this and done some inner work on it. I’ve found out so many times that ‘just going along with the program’ was quite dissatisfying. Yet, speaking up for what I believe in or pushing for change is an uphill battle.

Saying out loud ‘I want to be an artist’ was a terrifying declaration for me.

It meant full on vulnerability. It meant IF people even listened to my music, I might be criticized, scrutinized, judged. I might have to go into hiding, like I had after a few rough performances that only I had noted in the past. Spoiler alert: no one came looking for me.

I realize now, 20 years later, that of course no one was paying such close attention, and I am still pleasantly surprised how well my first record was received.

Before I go on and on about this record, here is a link to a post from a little while ago that I wrote where Drew Layman, ‘The Quiet One’ deep dives in this record as well …

Drew’s Blog: https://www.thequietone.net/post/megan-palmer-forget-me-not

Look at that young person! I still know her, I’m still proud of her for finding her voice. I still play some of the songs on that record. Some of them are too hard. But they are songs I took my first 25 years of life to write.

I remember thinking, I hope I live long enough to release this record, which is a weird thought to have at 28/29 years old. But there was a form of urgency in me that wanted to have ‘made something’ that would outlive me.

One of my quotes from Drew’s article:

I self-released it. I didn't even consider trying to find a label. I made this record and by this point, I’m in the third year of it. I'm like, I have got to get this off of my chest because I am going to die if this thing doesn't come out soon. After moving it across the border back into the United States and then moving it again to another studio, I'm like, I gotta get this out. So I wasn’t gonna try to shop it (to record labels). I had no idea what to do anyway and so I put it out myself. I just picked a date. Dan Dougan at Little Brother’s was like, "You can have this date and it could be your record release," and I was like, Sweet that'll be it. And of course, it involved a trip to Cincinnati to pick up the CDs because they were running behind and they were not ready until the freaking day of the release party. (laughs)

I ended up signing with a small local label, Sunken Treasure Records, run by Robert Duffy, a couple months after the release, which was a cool thing for me at the time. The label is now defunct, but it provided a cozy home for that era, and the next record quickly recorded and released, Take You Away and it’s bootleg Take Away II.

As I write now, I’m listening to the record. I know this music so well, and all of its layers and players. Over 25 people participated in this collaboration. Most of them are still dear friends! How has it been 2 decades since we did it?

I would write more, but I’d rather you listen instead. Maybe there is a part 2 to this post…

On Apple Music: Apple Music Link

YouTube:

This one - features the late Bob Saxton, who played with Patsy Cline and Merle Travis and many others. We met at a Hank Williams tribute show we were both on and became buddies. He happened to be around when I was recording this song and we had so much fun recording it. That is also Nate Anders on vibes, Jimmy Castoe on drums, and Derek Dicenzo on upright bass.

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Thanks for reading and listening

xoxo mp

Meanwhile, I’ve sat down to write this Substack several times and stared at a blank page for awhile before moving on to something else.

I wouldn’t even call it ‘writers block’ - it’s more like - what is all this noise about and how do I process it? I think it’s the weight of the world and we are all feeling it. I’ve never been more exhausted, stressed, and angry about how frustrating the government is and how it targets people in ways that are inhumane. Every day a new atrocity emerges and just keeping track of everything is sometimes overwhelming. I think every time I sit down to write this comes up.

How do we make art and music or even WANT TO in the midst of surviving? I have to admit I often don’t want to create right now. I feel drained and I self soothe by watching tennis reels and cute animal stories.

I have been writing, but it’s a big blob of stuff - some things I like, some things that are just for me, and some things that I think would be good to share. Themes and whatnot. But I have trouble committing to a plan.

I don’t know. I think it’s just the time we are in. I feel a little bit flat about most things currently. At least baseball is back.

I think that saying it here distills its hold on me. I can’t always be the hopeful and inspiring person that I want to be. It wouldn’t be accurate to portray myself that way.

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I went to the No Kings Protest yesterday. I think this is the 4th one in the last year and I’ve been to all of them. I do appreciate that each time has been its own unique experience. I am glad about the turnout, and the impact it makes. The problem I’m having is that the state I live in is still 47 or 48th in the nation for voter turnout, and Tennessee is the testing market to see if they can slip authoritarianism by us in the middle of the night without us noticing. The cruelty blows my mind. It dates back to pre Civil War times, when people believed in slavery. Some of the ideology here still does and it has maintained its bigoted stronghold in the state and local governments.

At times I am grossed out to live here, yet moving is not an option right now. When I moved to Nashville in 2013, I accidentally found myself at a reenactment of the battle of Franklin, at the site of the actual battle, it’s bullet holes still evident in some of the structures of the buildings around.

I was surprised to see the turnout of the South exceeded the turnout of the North and I felt a chill go through me as its ‘actors’ chanted ‘Hail to the South’ repeatedly and out loudly, drowning out the Northern ‘actors.’ It gave me a different angle of how some people see this and other battles, a contrast from what I was taught in school in northern Ohio. It occurred to me that the ‘Northern War of Aggression’ is still being fought.

A week later at my new job when someone said, ‘You’re not from around here’ and called me a ‘carpetbagger’ (!!!) and they weren’t even joking, I learned that here in TN people are less likely to hide their feelings even if they are blatantly racist. It woke up in me that we are all guilty of assumptions and even when we think we know where we land in belief systems, we may be clouded by some inherent ignorance, hence the ‘bubble’ any of us may find ourselves in.

Leaving here would be ‘retreating’ into somewhere else that carries its own burdens and haunted pasts that are being drawn out. Hell, when I grew up I believed Ohio was a blue state. Now I don’t even recognize it.

So we stay and we hold the line. We read Heather Cox Richardson in the morning with our coffee and keep trying. We show up at protests. We donate money to people who need it. We make sandwiches and pass them out to people who are hungry. We shield our transgender neighbors from persecution and jail time for being who they are. We continue to say ‘FUCK ICE’ and blow our whistles when they are lurking. We remember the names of the innocent who have been murdered and abused by the president and his power grabbing regimes. We keep writing about it even when we don’t feel like we have any more words to throw at the wall in hopes that it helps draw out the poison living within ourselves.

We hug our dogs and cats and loved ones and say I love you when we say good night or good bye in case that is the last chance we have.

I love you!

xoxo mp

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A few years ago, when we were getting married, Jason and I spent some time hanging out at American Legion Post 82. It was near our house and it ended up being our wedding venue, and they gave it to us for song. This is that song.

We planned the wedding very quickly. All in the same year we moved in together, adopted our dog Baba G, got engaged and married. Quite a year! As we were making our plans and scoping out the Legion, we gravitated toward Friday night karaoke in the front lounge. We’d go have a beer and sing a few songs with the regulars. It was a modest affair, but believe me there were some great singers hanging out.

We got to know many of them, but were especially enamored with ‘Commander’ Don and his wife Joann. The first thing I noticed was Joann’s impeccable intonation, and there was something amazingly pure about the tone of her voice. As I focused in on her as she sang multiple country classics, I noticed something else. She was using braille while singing because she was blind. I had never seen this before. It was fascinating. Don, her spouse, was the ever supportive partner gently helped her get where she needed to go to get her songs requested. He also was a gem and sang the country classics himself, and sometimes they sang together as well.

They befriended us and we discovered that we were actually neighbors and walked our dog past their house almost daily. They were so sweet and encouraging and Jason and I always loved seeing them and hearing them.

When the pandemic hit, obviously we did not see them very often besides a wave as we walked the dog by their house sometimes. I heard in 2021 unfortunately Don fell ill with possible Covid pneumonia and ended up passing away.

A few days later I received this song as I was cleaning the house. I sat down at my old piano and it came out in a few minutes. It came in the form of a duet between Don and Joann.

What Do I Do Now

What Do I Do Now

No more Friday karaoke

Singing Okie from Muskogee

Reading Patsy Cline on braille

Holding hands all the way home

What do I do now

That you’re gone

It wasn’t even how

This was supposed to work out

You are the love of my life

I’ll never leave you alone

I mighta been your eyes

You are my heart and soul

What do I do now

That you’re gone

It wasn’t even how

This was supposed to work out

I had a plan

Needed more time to understand

Our love will never end

Will never end

What do I do now

That you’re gone

It wasn’t even how

This was supposed to work out

What do I now now

That you’re gone

Wasn’t even how this was

Our love will never end

Our love will never end

Our love will never end

Our love will never end.

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We recorded this song with Dexter Green and it was part of the SlowForce sessions, but it seemed to stand alone as its own single. It was also fitting to have my husband Jason Quicksall sing the male vocal part, in tribute to this wonderful couple that gave us advice, wisdom and love at a crucial moment in our journey.

It’s the first time Jason and I have released a song together! After all these years of making music, it’s my joy to share it with you here. It is up on the places you get music, including Bandcamp, where you can purchase a download.

Recorded at 3 Sirens Studio in East Nashville

Dexter Green - producer, engineer, mixing

Megan Palmer - vocals and acoustic guitar
Jason Quicksall - vocals
Robert Kearns - bass
Joe Pisapia - pedal steel guitar
Bob Lewis - electric guitar
Bryan Owings - drums

Mastering Chris Frasco

Please take a listen and let me know what you think!

xoxo mp

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Walking around the neighborhood feels like the edge of the apocalypse right now. The dog doesn’t seem to notice, despite his penchant for sticks. Now that the snow has mostly melted minus a few stubborn ice chunks, the muddied grass emerges and the messes of magnolia leaves are scattered among the twigs. But what is really striking are the hackberrys and the birches and the oaks, as the ice storm peeled them like bananas. I catch a whiff of fresh bark, unrotted, splintering from unlikely angles, boughs broken, fences and roofs as their casualties.

We just got back into the neighborhood permanently on Sunday after 7 days. That is 7 days without electricity. The house was a cool 37 degrees when we came back, with an odor of that ‘fridge smell’ that I can’t quite put my finger on but also cannot not stop smelling as I melt into my couch exhausted before dragging myself to bed. For some reason the first thing I did when we got back was change the sheets. It made me laugh a little to insist upon a clean bed after a week of being displaced. Now I’m still afraid to run the washing machine lest a small ice chunk might be living in the water line somewhere - I’ve heard horror stories. Never did I understand our neighborhoods’ power grid so explicitly, and yet, I still feel like I don’t understand the rhyme or reason at all - after all, out of 300,000 there are still 12,566 (as of this writing) people in limbo, on day 10 of this mess. When will I stop looking, stop counting?

It makes me think of how easy it is to become totally incapacitated here. The stuff we take for granted. How we expect someone else, ‘to come and fix it - and as quickly as possible’ and how we are on the edge of chaos. What if it was worse and the Nashville Electric Service workers weren’t able to get it done? There would be a lot more problems besides spoiled food and inconvenient roof repairs and busted water lines. What if, what if… I know it can always be worse. But the metaphor is strong here.

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For one week, I was powerless, and for more than half of the week, I was actually doing well. And then, and then, something crept in. It was a different kind of powerless - that awareness of vulnerability. I thought, I should be writing through this, or crafting or practicing — I should be doing SOMETHING, but I was hanging on to a fog, a feeling, a tiny patch of solid ground - that was surrounded in ice, and though barely suffering, I felt an existential grip that was pulling me off the small grounded island I was trying to maintain. That slippery edge, so easy to slip right off.

I’m beginning to discover I am not alone in these feelings. It brings up feelings and processes we’ve been through before, and wounds of all sorts of demarcations. It brings up the paralysis I currently feel with the administration on a macro and micro level. It brings up paranoid feelings of losing freedom and autonomy, that is backed by proof that it is actually happening.

Yet, the crisis that occurred in my city this past week created a forced ‘pause’ from the rest of the world, and this community does what it does best - it rose to the occasion and we helped the hell out of each other. Our friends taking us (and our dog Baba) in without batting an eye, people feeding each other, saving each other - so many blessings all around. The internet became a place for neighbors to communicate about when the NES trucks were arriving and if anyone needed firewood and a warm place to sleep. It blocked out some of the noise from the ‘ICE’ in the rest of this country and even some of the putrid hate and rhetoric coming from this abominable fascist regime that (I hope) is losing rather than gaining steam.

Thank god for that - but also the noticing of how fragile it all is - is more clear to me than ever. The trees keep reminding me. Raw and vulnerable. An ice storm named ‘FERN.’

The fog will settle on my dreamy sleep for now, knowing we will find a new shape, along with the trees that for now remain hanging in the balances, soon to be chopped for the wood we will burn in our reflective campfires.

xoxo mp

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In case you missed it, I was a guest last week on the podcast ‘Front Porch AF.’ It was a good time - have a listen here or where you consume podcasts…

So far this month has felt like a year. I hope wherever you are, you are doing ok. I just got back from a weekend of shows in Ohio (which were fun, with a blizzard as the finale of it all) to a post-ice-storm Nashville which has left us without power since Sunday night. We are ok. Luckily a couple of angels took Jason, me and of course Baba G in and we are coping as best we can in the thick of it all. And yes, the ice is still solid and thick as a brick. I can’t believe how astonishingly beautiful yet also so destructive it is. Also, it is something to behold in the moment, as an picture I’ve tried to snap does not do justice to what my eye is seeing. But I WOULD like the lights and heat back on sooner than later, please please please….

It’s also not lost on me the insanity of this weeks’ news and the murder of one of my kind, nurse Alex Jeffrey Pretti, a 37 year old ICU nurse who worked at the VA. Murdered while protecting a woman by ICE in Minneapolis, MN. When I heard the news, I actually froze in my tracks for a moment, and then continued on with what I was doing that day, which is such a nurse reaction to any type of trauma. We are always around terrible things and heartbreaking stories, and we learn to put up a shield and continue to function - it is a survival mechanism in a way. But as the day proceeded on and more information came out, something simmered in me more deeply about this, and at the 24 hour mark, I was so irate. Compounded with the murder of Renee Good just 2 weeks ago, which sickened me to the core, and now, a colleague of sorts, shot while doing nothing wrong at all - it is almost too much to comprehend.

The other part of being a nurse and receiving this kind of information is that eventually it does catch up with you and the emotions flow and need to be processed, and I am still in that phase of it. But I can’t even believe what I am typing - how is this happening in our world? IT MUST STOP. IT MUST STOP. IT MUST STOP.

In 2020 we were heroes, right? Weren’t people cheering for how we put our bodies on the line to care for others? And now this care is being persecuted.

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Well, ironically or not, I have just had the fortune of being a guest on a podcast called Front Porch AF - and I talked with Kelli and Sue about what it means to me to be a nurse in these times, and also how being a musician has helped me stay in the profession along the way. The episode dropped today and it can be found in here: FRONT PORCH AF and also the platforms in which you get podcasts. I had a truly truly delightful time talking with these ladies and we discussed nursing, and also Slowforce (my band with Bob Lewis), Therapeutic Touch, songwriting, all the things. Please check it out! They even quote me:

"You have to use creativity as a nurse because you are improvising all the time. You are always thinking on your feet." —MEGAN PALMER

You can also watch it here on Youtube, with an exclusive performance of an unreleased song that encompasses a lot of what I’ve been feeling and been inspired lately in the work I’ve been doing. The song is called ‘Center of the Center.’

OK, well, more to come indeed. It would make my day if you checked out and SUBSCRIBED to Front Porch AF. They literally are solving all the problems in the world.

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Time is the most valuable commodity we have. It seems to be going faster and faster so it feels like sometimes we have to cram so many things in. I lose track along the way of all I want to write about and document somehow. Yet, if I was able to do that, when would I have time to experience all that I want to convey? It is the struggle of a creator, to know when to pause and experience, and when to get to work. How to keep the window open to allow that which moves us to be sculpted into something tangible. Even when this is available to me, when I am the vessel in which the spirits are willing to speak through, how can I even know how to share my blessings? These blessings are so sacred - I want to protect them, almost as much as I want to protect my loved ones from this cruel world. Now, I do think the world is also beautiful and NEEDING to hear these musings whether it is in the form of a book, essay, song, portrait - whatever medium - yet, at times I have felt ashamed of my renderings. Terrified that these magical nuggets I have been so lucky to access, won’t be understood - or maybe they aren’t ready to be grasped, and maybe I will still be learning from them for the next 25 or more years.

I hope I get another 25 years. I see my elders, and I remember when they were the age I am now. I see them both thriving and contracting - and some of them leaving. Some sooner than I expected. I am learning about the world without these anchors that showed me the way when I was even more clueless. I hope I am a beacon to those following me. I know my sisters see me that way. I am grateful for that and try my best to show them the good stuff. I always want to help them and I know I can’t fix their problems, they have to learn on their own terms and paths. They teach me a lot too, and sometimes I think it would be impossible to exist without their love in my life.

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As I was reflecting today, I got weepy about how much I love everyone in my life. Seriously. Being up in Ohio this past week and reconnecting with so many that I’ve know for so many years brought up a lot of memories that I’ve had stored in the cloud. That is the greatest richness I could ever ask for.

I’m working on my lists of favorite songs, albums and books I’ve read this year. It will be another post soon, with quotes and links and all that. But I wanted to make sure that my message of love got out before we burn 2025’s calendar in the fire and get out a clean slate full of hopes and expectations for the coming year.

I wish you peace within and all around you, no matter if it’s a Happy New Year now or later.

much love! mp

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This is the great Wally Mitchel on drums at his weekly Sunday gig at Dick’s Den. He sounds better than ever.

This month has been a full on whirlwind of great connection in my music community here in Nashville. I have been to so many well-curated events, I’ve lost track of who I saw when, but let me tell you, it’s been a really nice reminder of how special it is to live here in East Nashville.

The benefit for SAFPAW that Bob Lewis, along with Amy Dee of Dee’s Lounge, produced, was a smashing success. I’ve been involved with SAFPAW loosely for the last decade, and as time goes, the only reason I know this is because of facebook memories that pop up. It even reveals to me we’ve done benefits for them periodically in the past. Funnily, this week a memory popped up from 8 years ago, and I was so happy to report that we raised $311 for SAFPAW. 8 years ago that must have felt like a lot of money. But now, I can let you know that we increased our fundraising for them by an extra zero to the sum, aka over 3 thousand dollars!!!

It’s not just about the money for this organization, led by trailblazer Laurie Green. She founded this over 2 decades ago, and is a dedicated ‘boots on the ground’ outreach worker who is highly aware of the poverty situation in our local community. Providing tents, propane, supplies, food in these cold winter months is essential to people and their pets in need. Even people in temporary housing are struggling to know if they will be able to remain, as the conditions in some of these places are so deplorable that the USPS won’t even deliver mail to the ‘address.’

So we put on a show. And we had over 30 artists participate and sing their hearts out to help out SAFPAW. It was festive! We had a silent auction which increased our revenue quite a bit ( to my surprise - I’m now a a believer! ) We had generous online donations from those who couldn’t be there. It was hands down my most favorite gig of the year. It healed me in ways I didn’t expect. I am so grateful and Bob and I can’t wait to do it again next year.

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I was chatting with Amy Speace recently and she reminded me that a few years back we actually wrote and recorded a song for SAFPAW. I’ve located it and shared it on Bandcamp today! You can hear it here: Called to Love on Bandcamp. All proceeds go to SAFPAW.org.

I also put it up on YouTube today. I chose a collage by my friend Peggy Frank for the cover art.

I hope that you have a peaceful holiday season. There is a lot of turmoil in the world, and it’s easy to get sucked into the misery, anger and sadness out there. I hope you can find a moment to tap into the beautiful vibration out there of the peace lovers and compassionate anchors out there. It is available to all of us and I know it will make the world a better place, slowly but surely. Sometimes it takes a few extra moments of sitting quietly and just being still. I will see you there.

Much love to you with all my heart.

xoxo mp

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Hello! Tis the season for hot toddies and benefit shows. I finished my fall tennis season (in December brrr) yesterday. It was my first time playing in leagues and even though I had more L’s than W’s I felt like I learned so much and I can’t wait to try again next year. December is now here, and there is a lot of music to play and causes to support.

SAFPAW (Southern Alliance For People and Animal Welfare) is a local organization that is dear to my heart. They help thousands of people and animals directly by working to improve the quality of life of those in need. They provide assistance to the animals of those who are homeless or living at or below the poverty level, and also feed hundreds of people in Davidson County weekly with food outreach excursions. They also provide supplies to the homeless living in the community, including tents, blankets, propane, toiletries and food. They also do a toy drive every year at Christmas to provide children in the area with presents.

I’ve been helping out on Saturday mornings this fall and have had the opportunity to get to know the community SAFPAW is serving. It is literally right under our noses here in Nashville. Every other Saturday, volunteers gather and assemble sack lunches in the number of 200-250 that include community donated homemade sandwiches, a drink, chips, granola bar and whatever else is donated. After the assembly, we distribute the lunches to several areas on a route, and believe me, the food gets passed out quickly. People are hungry but appreciative. There are a lot of children too. Laurie Green, the founder and tireless ambassador to the program, also has cat and dog food at the helm to help feed the animals of those in need. She also sees to it that they get the veterinary care that is needed and usually ends up finding homes for animals we meet along the way that ended up unhoused as well. This year they also provided a homemade chili lunch the day before Thanksgiving to a specific area on the route in great need and it was a wild success.

Everything is donation based and so when I am promoting this fundraiser, know that your money goes right into this community. The volunteers are so awesome! In the world when I ask myself over and over ‘what can I do to be of service’ this is one place where the needs are great and whatever you put into it energetically you get back 10 fold.

The benefit is coming up this THURSDAY DECEMBER 11 2025 at Dee’s Country Cocktail Lounge. Bob Lewis of Slowforce and I have been organizing it and it really going to be an exciting event with a ton of awesome musician guests. Slowforce and another band I’m in called Love Junkyard will be the house bands. We’ll start at 6PM and be there all night. We will also have a silent auction going with some great items donated by friends and it is another way to raise funds. The event will be streamed as well, so if you can’t be there in person, you can still witness the fun through your computer and there will be a donation link.

Ticket link is here: https://tunehatch.com/shows/253211269

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Tim Easton is unable to be there that evening due to being on tour, but he is also a huge supporter of SAFPAW and annually records a song with a video to help raise funds. This year he made another beautiful video, check it out, bring tissues:

I hope you can join us in some way shape or form next Thursday!

Stay warm and cozy. xoxo mp

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It’s so hard to post right now about normal life because these aren’t normal times. And yet, it’s hard not to comment about how abnormal it all is. Recently in my online writing group, the prompt was ‘what is your online obsession?’ It startled me at first. I felt a little bit stuck and almost embarrassed. I wrote:

The internet is noise. Sometimes after a long day of working and participating in society I lay down in my bed for that dopamine hit of scrolling. It’s like a way to catch up on things. Sometimes in a busy work day I step off and do a quick scroll too. It can lead to more anxiety and therefore distraction. I don’t like this. Somehow its a form of fomo but it drives me into a loop of caring about something that actually doesn’t really concern me all that much.

In the 20 minutes or so of writing I came to the surprising conclusion that my favorite form of expression online is this newsletter! A safe place to express my thoughts and feelings freely and share what’s inspiring in my world, or be vulnerable in general!

Yet, I shy away. It’s the thing on the to-do list that feels out of reach sometimes. The energy it takes when instead I can doom scroll and drum up some pent up negativity. Or look at puppies doing cute things. I guess it isn’t all that bad.

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Every time I make a post on here I’m glad that I did. I feel more connected to people I resonate with. I always think, maybe I’ll write something again tomorrow, and every day! It doesn’t happen. I end up collecting ideas that sit in a pile like the unopened mail next to my plants. The plants get watered, the mail still sits.

Writing is hard! I am busy! But I love to write to you and my writing is my love letter to the world. And even in love, sometimes honesty is painful. I don’t always have the goods to sit and get the words out. But trust me, I am earnest in my sharing of them, and it is a lifeline to feeling connected in this world we are living in.

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Weirdly, I feel good a lot of the time these days. I feel like the world is waking up because we are all noticing that nothing is guaranteed anymore. Life is more precious than ever. Knowing this inspires me to be more present. I want to listen and hear the words and the tones and the colors of it all. I want to be taken on a journey that intersects with my own consciousness and then transports me to a new level. I want to resonate with the beings out there who are vibing in this way, and pull up those who wish to beam higher too.

I still use the social medias of the day. They will change as we change. Some will die out, some will lean in a new direction; they will likely continue to profit off us. It is funny to look back at the fb memories section - for me it dates back about 15 years - which feels like both a short and a long time. The way I posted the answer to the question of ‘what’s on your mind’ as a status update is cringeworthy but also very funny. Often I was ‘making muffins’ or ‘running sooo late but getting on a plane to ny by dusk’ or ‘knick knack paddy whack’ (???) but that just shows how it all started. Now, I say less. You already know.

xoxo mp

PS What is your online obsession?

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I haven’t had any injuries or anything lately - don’t worry - I’m pretty good, despite the harshness of living in the world and everything that is going on. To be healing to me, is to be protecting my energy so that I can show up in the world as myself and feel comfortable (enough) in my own skin; to live in the vibration of a compassionate and loving person, even when it seems like the world is falling apart.

It’s not lost on me how desperately the people in the position of power seem to be drawn to anger and hatred toward groups of people they consider ‘less than’ and to me it is just a fear based strategy.

It’s causing damage and we will continue to experience the fallout for much longer than they are in power. It’s hard to know what to do in these moments. I know that sometimes I self-soothe with distraction, but that only works for so long.

So ‘healing’ is building strength and resilience, knowing it’s going to be needed for many moons to come.

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I want to share an album with you that I was overjoyed to be a part of with my dear friend John Calvin Abney. It just came out and I’ve been listening to it on repeat. It’s always nerve-wracking for me when I record on someone’s music I love because I want to do the best I can and also align myself with their vision of what the song wants. I’m also OK if what my contribution is doesn’t make the final cut - because I have studied the editing process and sometimes it’s inevitable. But listening to his record “Transparent Towns” I am happy to report that 1.my parts made the cut and 2. this record is really phenomenal.

You can buy the album on bandcamp and support John here.

We recorded most of this record live in studio in Oklahoma last summer, sometimes having to stop because of raging storms and tornado warnings. I was fresh off my big tour and still recovering from that so it was a balm for my soul to be in the studio with one of my favorites of all time.

When all else fails, at least we will have the records we made with our dearest creative friends.

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This week I was fortunate to attend two amazing shows back to back. The juxtaposition is not lost on me! Jon Batiste at the Opry and then the Nashville Symphony the following evening at the Schermerhorn, hearing Beethoven’s 5th Symphony. Wow oh wow I was fed with perfection and skill and heart and soul from both of these performances. There’s a lot I could say but what I really felt was in common with both was that the performers (this includes Batiste’s 14 piece band and EVERY member of the symphony) regarded the audience as part of the performance. As Jon led his band out of the Opry in the style of a New Orleans’ 2nd line parade and the crowd followed him out (definitely something I’ve never witnessed at the Opry) it was obvious there was a festive and joyful feeling among us all and we felt united.

At the conclusion of Beethoven’s 5th at the Symphony, the crowd lurched into an uproar, standing on their feet and yelling exuberantly. The orchestra slowly turned to face the audience. My friend Anana and I were close enough to see the emotion on the faces of the strings sections, as we continued to shout and applaud, I got teary eyed - thinking of all the work one puts in to be part of a symphony. What it must mean when this kind of appreciation is shown. I felt them feel us loving them - it was so emotional. We walked out in awe of what we felt and witnessed. Music is such a gift.

Thank you for reading - you are a gift to me.

xoxo mp

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I popped over to Scott Ave and since our time was limited we got to ‘work’ right away and wrote the song. Sometimes a time limit helps to capitalize on actually getting something done! What started off as a possible song about nearing the end of life, we took a turn toward living out our lives to the fullest, possibly ending up in Tahiti of all places. We rewarded ourselves with a delicious stew David had prepared and we were joined by his wife Anika on her lunch break as well.

‘Till the River Ends’:

A few weeks later I went back to David’s and we recorded the tune in his home studio (on our lunch breaks again!) How productive are we!!!

We released the song officially today on all streaming platforms and it is also on Bandcamp, where lo & behold, you can support artists directly. Buying a song on Bandcamp for $1.50 (or pay what you want) vs needing over 500 streams to receive that much on Spotify seems like a no-brainer! Not that we are in it for the money (see also: we still have full time jobs) but I definitely try to support artists over there as much as possiblem (hint!)

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Feels like a perfect segue to make an Americanafest landing, which starts up today. I have a couple of gigs on the horizon this week:

Thursday 9.11.25 at East Side Bowl with Anne McCue & the Cubists, 6PM

Saturday 9.13.25 at Dee’s Lounge - Black Oak Artists Day Party, 3:30PM, as myself

Also looking forward to seeing and catching up with everyone this week - it’s like a big family reunion of sorts.

Here’s a recent video from Anne McCue’s show at the 5 Spot, featuring the Cubists, in her lovely song called, “Fly or Fall”

One more interesting thing that happened - just last week, I went over to David’s for lunch to talk about the release of ‘Till The River Ends' and I waved at my old house - it was the first place I lived when I moved to Nashville and it was a revolving door of friends and roommates and people making a stop here - I called it the ‘Musician’s Flop House’ in that era. I noticed some different fencing around the place and noted it had been recently sold. The next day David texted me that it had been demolished completely! It reminded me in real time that sometimes old structures need to be abandoned to make way for the new. It’s been something I’ve been thinking about a whole lot lately.

Peace and love to you!

xo mp

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The first show was back in June at the Country Music Hall of Fame and it was Aimee Mann playing “Lost in Space” - a record I absolutely loved when it came out and played over and over. Each note of the record has fiber in my being and the songs have taught me about life over the years and the wisdom holds up. When that record came out I was trying to write songs and I know now that she was a major influence of some of my earliest compositions. The show was incredible and she had a full band that placed the songs extremely close to the bones of the record. I was immersed in hearing the songs in 3D and Mann sounded better than ever in her delivery, despite ‘having a cold.’ I would attend this show over and over if I could. Also as an artist she continues to make great stuff and I could feel the general essence of joy coming out of her expression of her art. Here’s a few clips, and you might hear me singing along, haha.

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The second show was last night at the Ryman and I will let you know in advance that I did not take video because it was a show I was hesitant to attend in the first place. But it involved an artist that I was a big fan of for quite some time, and then distanced myself from because of their actions on and off the stage; stories you may or may not know and how he treated band members, colleagues etc. I don’t care to rehash the stories, but I stopped listening to Ryan Adams’ music a few years ago, even though his music was formative to me and my friends around the same time as Aimee Mann’s.

But when I found myself with a ticket to see the 25th Anniversary of the record ‘Heartbreaker’ supposedly being performed, I decided to get over it momentarily and go to the show.

Adams came out walking with a cane and took his seat center stage, and performed solo versions of the compositions. His voice sounded clear and in tune and his guitar playing was also very good. However, unlike Mann, he seemed to be reinventing the songs to his whims and adding in asides/jokes to the songs, as if he didn’t even believe his own lyrics. And though he was doing it well, it felt a little parodied at the time, and I started to lose track of the record I was supposedly there to hear him perform.

Then the soliloquies. I refuse to give him credit for simply behaving himself. I think he was attempting empathy at times but it was a transparent mask. But it is his show, and his right to do whatever he wants, after all, that’s what being an artist is. And he mentioned that he wanted to spend the rest of his days making art, or making art about not making art. I give him that, and understand that statement.

Also he didn’t do the songs in order, which really took me off track. He saved one of my favorite tracks for last, and though I knew he wouldn’t have any of the background vocals make guest appearances (although those singers are truly my most favorite parts of that record) I’d hoped he make up for it in another way. Well, he did definitely disappoint when he brought out a scrappy rhythm section and held the audience hostage by playing the loudest guitar I’ve ever heard at the Ryman while standing on a chair and ripping off Slayer riffs for about 10 minutes while playing the least favorite version of ‘Bartering Lines’ I’ve ever heard. I felt like I was at an after hours in 2001 and everyone had done all of the cocaine.

The second set was a mixture of old and new and he was dialed in a little more, but still spent time rambling and at times I began to feel exhausted by him. I hope he’s all right, but I never need to see this show again.

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A couple things to announce from my own music world! 2 gigs in Nashville coming up!

Friday August 15 8PM at East Side Bowl is LOVE JUNKYARD - a hybrid band of Anne McCue, Anana Kaye, Irakli Gabriel & myself with rhythm section David Conrad and Justin Amaral. We hit at 8PM.

Wednesday Aug 20 6-8PM at the 5 Spot is SLOWFORCE. We’ll be joined by opener Brett Fromson and Slowforce will play with a full band.

One last thing - I’ve mentioned Terri Trespicio’s ‘New Rules’ Studio writing that I’ve been part of, which has really helped me find flow in my writing this past year and a half. Well, she is offering a FREE WEEK of writing every day coming up Aug 11-15th and you can check it out and access that here.

If you’ve been trying to write something, anything — for your work, your business, yourself—and find yourself stuck, dried up, uninspired, then I have something you’re for sure going to want to check out.

My friend, author and speaker Terri Trespicio, runs The New Rules Studio — a live, virtual, real-time writing program where several times a week people go to get their writing done. It’s a paid program, but for one week in August, she’s opening the doors for anyone to come experience for themselves, totally free.

Free Studio Week

Aug 11-15th

Learn more about Free Studio Week here

Terri and her team of instructors are certified in The Gateless Writing Method, a critic-free (and as Terri likes to say, douche-free) framework for activating creativity and quieting the inner critic.

Each session features a powerful prompt to get you writing, and the structure of each session is designed to help you spark ideas you didn’t know you had.

WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU REGISTER (free!)

✨ Access to every live writing session that week + 3 bonus sessions

✨ Come whenever you like! No pressure. You won’t “miss” anything if you skip a few. Each session is a standalone, and so you can drop in whenever it works for you.

✨ Expert facilitation using the Gateless Method, a powerful approach that helps you create without fear or judgment

✨ A proven approach for activating your creative genius

✨ An environment that frees you up to take creative risks

✨ A critic-free, competition-free, judgment-free container designed to fuel your momentum — and make writing feel addictive

This is a no-brainer.

Check out the schedule here. [USE YOUR LINK]

WHO IT’S FOR

• Writers, creatives, experts, and thinkers of all kinds

• Business owners and thought leaders who want to ramp up their content and visibility

• Speakers who want to move people with their stories

• People who crave more time, space, and structure for their own creative work

• Anyone who wants to reconnect with their voice and ideas without second-guessing every word

• You, if you’ve been meaning to check it out but haven’t made the leap

I cannot recommend Studio—or Terri and her team—enough. It’s well worth your time to sign up and pop into a few sessions. It may be the thing that moves the needle for you.

All right - hang in there - get rest, drink water and keep on fighting against the patriarchy!

xoxo mp

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I don’t know how everyone lives like this for their whole lives! Imagine just 2 weeks off a year or whatever. I’m used to NO paid time off - the former model of the last 20 years was if I don’t work I don’t get paid. And that’s the gig economy we live in. Many musicians and artists I know live like this, and maybe to the normal civilian, this feels reckless and dangerous, but to me it is more sensible to being creative and AVAILABLE for your art.

I’m sticking with this job (for now) because JEEZUS H it’s pretty awful out there right now. I even put it together last week that if I hadn’t taken this full time gig, the hours I was used to getting as a ‘PRN’ employee were getting cut cut cut, because suddenly we are living in scarcity and witnessing the destruction of so many programs and efforts in place to support all people.

I’m really lucky to land where I have and no doubt I have worked hard to get here. Even if I complain ‘I have to work’ so I can’t really go on tour so much right now, I’m also OK with that - I had a lot of time to do that and I’ll pull back the curtain here and say touring is actually not all that great most of the time.

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But how do I answer the question about what I’m doing? Am I still an artist/musician/creative?? YES. And slowly but surely on my own terms, I am finding the place of creativity where I want to land. It is slower than it used to be, and that is ok. When I look back at how I used to fill a calendar it makes me want to throw up a little. I’m proud of those times, and there was a lot to learn and a lot of music to play and a lot of schlepping around and short couches to sleep on and late night shit.

As it rolls into my birthday month, I am taking stock of all of this and thinking about where I am vs where I was 10, 20, 30 years ago. It’s super interesting because sometimes I can travel back in time to very specific moments, while other times it is a total blur. I am fortunate to have many wonderful touchstones that I can use to connect the dots, and sometimes I fall asleep thinking about the chronology vs the cyclical nature of it all.

I’ve gone less ‘to do list’ and more ‘cloud container.’ By cloud container I mean ‘What is in the cloud that is giving me life and inspiring me to do better?’ It isn’t as linearly focused, which at times makes alarms go off in me because I am classically motivated by time and results. The thing is, results still happen - they are just less measured, and the ‘fail factor’ is also less measured. I’m failing less because I am giving myself wider margins in the cloud. And the cloud also allows for resting times, and blocks of non productivity.

Have the studies shown that I am feeling better than in the past when it seemed so right to be so perfectionistically hard on myself even if I was running a consistent 9 minute mile and no less than 20 miles a week while also working 12 hour shifts, playing in three to five bands, probably drinking too much (coffee, sugar, alcohol) and still being dissatisfied with my weight, love life, level of success in the music industry and also damn it not famous?! (hint: I recently figured out that being famous also sucks for the most part)

YES! I am feeling better. It’s all subjective, and this subject is saying uh huh… thank you for trying to get to bed at 10 most of the time and love the body you have even if it’s a little softer around the middle.

And there is still so much to do - always - it’s quite overwhelming. Time is the most valuable thing we have, and how we spend it is sometimes a hard decision. I still struggle. But having a little bit more priority on the QUALITY makes a huge difference.

Here’s a new song I wrote with Bob Lewis in ‘Slowforce.’ We have been slowly writing this song for months. This is the latest draft of 'Entertainment Tonight.’ We had fun making this little video last week on our usual Tuesday Slowforce Sessions.

Thank you for reading and listening! love you lots, MP

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I keep up with the news as best as I can these days. Sometimes I want a break from it, but I don’t think this is a time we can afford to stop paying attention. The thing that bothers me the most is that it is impossible to take in/remember all of the terrible things being done to people and still continue to function. It feels weird to write a newsletter without acknowledging this every time I sit down to write.

Luckily, I have built in excuses in my schedule to be writing. I don’t get it all done or down in these sessions, but via a general prompt that I can take or leave, I have the space to be writing in the ‘New Rules Studio.’ I highly recommend it as a kickstart to regular writing and I now have a lot of material built up, and maybe even a body of work(s) - I just keep generating it and I honestly don’t think I’d be writing about some of this stuff without the prompt in the moment.

May is a month for me that brings up a lot of memories. From graduating to nursing school eons ago to receiving a cancer diagnosis in the same month multiple times along with various situational occurrences, I often just have to sit and reflect and expect less of myself in this month.

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I want to share my piece from last week’s session where the prompt was ‘WORK’ - because it brought up a lot that I’m still thinking about and contemplating.

Thanks for reading.

For the first time in 20 years I have a full time job. It confuses me to say that. For 20 years I said, ‘flexibility is freedom’ and I stand by that statement. But for some reason, last fall when I took this job, I had started to feel like I needed a new level of stability.

I’m still trying to process my former lives. Yes, I have lived several lives in this one, sometimes all at the same time. Various versions of myself to keep track of - the responsible caregiver, the fun sideman, the lead singer, the moody writer, the best friend, the good firstborn… all of those mixed together weighed me down - I began to wonder, who am I anyway?

The biggest thing - in all of these attempts to meld into the society of the rules of the particular life I was leading, it was hard to know what I wanted for dinner. Why, with all these plates in the air, could I NEVER know what to eat or when to eat? Too many nights with microwaved chips and shredded cheese - what a cliche - but I couldn’t be bothered to think of one more thing.

And then, a cancer diagnosis, one I had anticipated since 9 years old, showed up at 39, just when I thought I finally had decided that I had a right to know what I wanted to eat, fucked me up in the best and worst ways.

The roads into the underbelly of the healthcare system I had been feeding my energy into converged at the sign that I needed to take a pause in all of it, and see what it was like to be a patient - to jump through difficult hoops and feel the vulnerability when a new resident says ‘happy birthday’ while injecting blue dye into my breast, the day after I turn 40. What a gut punch - ‘Could you please… not wish me happy birthday’ I managed to squeak out as I tried to hang on in that moment.

That was work in its own way - to learn to stop and accept love and healing and worthiness - much harder work than ever punching in and saving lives or helping them complete - work I was always called to do despite having creative advances luring me elsewhere.

Nursing is art too. And healing is art. Offering healing. Accepting healing. This is all why we have art. It’s why we make music and write. It’s not always full time work and it doesn’t always pay in dollars or anything measurable. How do you measure the power of healing in the moment you hear the most perfect song as your soundtrack that unlocks levels of pain over lifetimes within a lifetime?

So now I have this full time job. It sucks to work 40 hours a week. Sometimes I am reaching for the page and fall down before I can get the words in. Sometimes the words topple out. Sometimes I fall asleep dreaming of the book I’m writing and promise to get up early and write. Then morning comes and I hit the snooze because I need a little more peace before heading into the office.

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I just got back from Santa Fe, NM last week, where I was attending a week long symposium of the healing modality ‘Therapeutic Touch.’ I’ve been studying this wonderful therapy for many years and being with other practitioners from around the world for the Therapeutic Touch International Association’s Congress was truly remarkable. I got to know other practitioners from Australia, Rwanda, Switzerland, Austria, Canada, and of course the US. I was re-energized on many levels and felt so connected to a high vibration group of individuals. I felt with this energy healing that possibly the world could be ok.

Of course coming back to Nashville and learning that ICE and the TN HIGHWAY PATROL went on a spree this week detaining people & targeting immigrant in South Nashville took the wind out of my sails. Yet, I know it is a calling to continue to stand up for people and protect them against this sort of insane aggression, and to continue to call and contact our local legislators to let them know this is not ok.

It is about daily that I am ashamed of the United States for a lot of reasons. It’s not a republican vs democrat thing anymore. Where is the compassion? Why do some people in power double down on cruelty? I have a hard time understanding what they are getting out of it.

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Music continues at least.

This Friday I am part of a cool gig that reunites me with the rhythm section I toured with last year and adds a few other great women onto the bill as well. We will be performing Linda Ronstadt’s album ‘Heart Like a Wheel’ on Friday 5/9/2025 at Dee’s Country Cocktail Lounge at 7:30PM. Kelly Riley, Morgan Blaney, Heather Thomas, Suzie Brown, Caitlin Cannon, KP Hawthorn, Eleese Longino Mescherry, Renèe Wahl, and me will be performing the record. It’s a great record, and it came out 50 years ago.

I’m also part of a new Darrin Bradbury project and we are showcasing some of the material we have been shedding this winter/spring this Saturday at a house show in Madison, TN. If you are local, reach out and I can give you details on that.

Lastly, I want to send a shout out to my dear friend John Mulder. He is a lifelong supporter to this newsletter, and also a dear friend, songwriter, and physician that I was able to do several creative projects with. I just learned that he left this earth last week and I’ve been thinking of him and how there was never enough time to do all we wanted. He is smiling at us all now, and at peace, but I’m also sad we didn’t get to finish all that we wanted to do together. Godspeed, Dr. Mulder.

Much love to you! xoxo mp

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How are you doing out there? It’s funny, every time I publish a post I feel better and think I will write something again soon. Then a month goes by like nothing and I feel like I have so many thoughts it’s near impossible to get them down, followed by what the heck do I even want to say. Rinse and repeat.

I’m consumed with a few things in addition to work lately. One of them is ‘what is happening out there in the society in which we live.’ How things are getting dismantled at a rapid rate and how difficult it is to keep up with information, determining what is accurate and how to stand up and resist tyranny and the fascism that is catching on like wildfire. It is so manipulative because we are all vulnerable to it right now. In addition to keeping up with living a decent life and taking care of responsibilities, the burden of what is happening out there and the lies Americans are being told, and the outright lack of humanity toward many many people has me wondering, why would anyone want to be so mean?

My nightmares lately are centered around people who have manipulated and mistreated me in my life. These dreams are telling me something, even when I don’t know exactly what the message is. Do I still resent some people that are likely not thinking about me anymore, or is it more of a metaphor of what is happening in the government and the way some of the wealthiest are ‘mean girling’ the shit out of us? When I try to stand up for myself in these dreams, I cave back in and act in an accommodating way, something I’ve hated about myself, in the avoidance of conflict. I’ve always been best in hindsight, thinking about what I wished I’d said.

These dreams are like that. I’m frozen in conflict with myself; more than the other person, as I see their true colors that I’d either ignored or protected in the past.

So what does that say about where we are right now? I often feel super helpless currently. It’s amazing how what we trusted as laws and rights are being usurped by technocracy. And I’m also addicted to watching the dismantling, additionally taking soothing in the constructs of it all, constantly clutching my phone for new information and dopamine hits in the name of hope something goes the right (or left) way.

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In the meantime, I’m playing tennis. I think about the game all of the time, and I am playing several days a week. It continues to keep me sane and all I want to do is improve. It’s been a minute since I’ve wanted to work on something so very much. I’m grateful to be finding a great community of like minded and generous players out there. It has been saving me.

I’m also in love with some characters I’ve been creating in my writing. Last month I published my story about ‘Sister Wind’ and I was so pleased that many of you responded to the story in a way that made me feel seen and understood. Since then I’ve been developing the story some more, and I’m trying to let the characters reveal themselves and commune with me. Is it a short story, is it a book, is it a musical (a soundtrack has been emerging after all!) or is it my form of narrating the times we are in?

I really appreciate you for reading this. I know that right now what you choose to take in is very prime real estate in your consciousness. I have created shields and protective barriers for what I take in and I want to write words that are helpful to us (myself included) in making sense of it all. I also want to stay awake and alert and resistant to the powers that want us to be brainwashed or go silent due to being overwhelmed. I do believe that a lot of the authoritarian moves that are being made will crumble eventually, but I am also concerned that a ton of destruction will occur in the process. We will rebuild. We will change. But we must must must stay in touch - with our own nudges, with our own loved ones, and with our fellow neighbors no matter if we agree or disagree. A time will come when any of the mentioned will need us and our true compassion will be the phoenix, the healing force, that emerges out of the ashes.

If I could only find my glasses.

Much love, mp

Oh btw! I’m playing a show this Friday 4/4/2025. - a JONI MITCHELL tribute! At Dee’s Lounge. It’s going to be special. Come out if you can, or tune into the livestream. Friday 4/4/2025

PS I found my glasses.

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They gave us a prompt and about 20 minutes to write on the Zoom call. I found myself writing what felt like a different kind of piece for me. Maybe it’s fiction, or an allegory, or something else. It sure did not feel like a journal entry. There was some other power feeding me - and in the group there was a profound feeling of calling to action and resistance to tyranny and authoritarianism, as well as a deeper support for women and other marginalized people who are BIPOC, LGBTQIA+ and the need to connect to integrity. It was moving. The short meditation we did to allow the window of creativity to open and allow spirit to come through was palpable. Here is what I wrote:

Sister Wind was shivering down the path as she walked along and encountered a large four legged cat. It was the color of abalone. She didn’t know if she could go around it or if it was even alive. She paused. This was not the day to encounter an unknown beast. Did it just hiss at her, or was that the sound of the trash truck one alley over from her apartment?

Wind was late for work and she was on her period which had been really annoying this time. Cramps galore and she had wanted to sleep and sleep. She had jumped in a hot shower and also longed to stay in there, the water pelting her fascia. In fact it electrified her energy that day, the mysterious combination of water and wind mixing together to form a new found electricity. She was energized, and her hair was quite frizzy as a result. She pounded an instant coffee with a tablespoon of mushroom powder, grabbed a ginger sprig to snack on and busted out the door.

But now, even in her energized state, stood this obstruction in her path. She looked around, and strangely saw no one else on the normally busy street lined with apartments. Bergen Street usually had people moving their cars to the other side of the street at this hour, before going back to bed or rushing off to the train. But today, this Friday morning, not a soul. What the heck, she thought, glancing at her phone. No emergent notifications, no panicky texts, actually nothing at all. Her last text was sent last night, to her so-called boyfriend, Good night I guess. He had not responded and she felt nothing about it.

The large cat, upon a closer look, seemed very still, both menacing and vulnerable. She dared to reach out her hand. It was a bit damp with sweat from the quick coffee ingestion, and suddenly a little shaky. This cat had energy. It was easily 4 feet taller than her. She wondered if she should feel afraid suddenly, but she did not. Sister Wind was in her body, and she was good in stressful situations, actually she was the best she knew when shit was going down. Somehow chaos genuinely suited her, which is why she was good at her job, even if she thought she was phoning it in sometimes. But now, she felt calm, yet uncertain. So uncertain, yet centered. She leaned back on her heels. They were chunky boots with rubber souls and she loved those boots, so worth what she paid on Poshmark. She grounded herself, and reached out, just a bit more, and dared to take a small swipe to touch this cat with her fingertips.

From her tips came the wind. She had almost forgotten she was in fact Sister Wind. Whoosh whoosh and the object ruffled. And as she nearly blew it away, she discovered it was made of nothing but paper.

Ha! She knew exactly what to do.

“Paper Tiger!” She shouted, "Stand down.”

The cat stared. Did it just blink? Did it just disobey her orders? Did it have the audacity to do such a thing?

“I know what you are made of and I can end this the easy way or the hard way. It’s up to you.”

It did not move. She reached into her pocket book, and grabbed a pack of matches from the bar she closed last night. The air around her seemed to swirl and leaves blew up and around in circles.

The cat stood, almost daring her to act. She struck the match and touched the paper tiger, and suddenly it burned a little, and when she blew out the match with her mighty might wind, the entire cat went up in flames.

Sister Wind took down the paper tiger. No one was around to witness. But she knew it was her duty. She headed to the subway.

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Paper tiger: one that is outwardly powerful or dangerous but inwardly weak or ineffectual (Merriam Webster)

I would love to hear what you think of Sister Wind.

Sometimes no one is around to witness the small courageous acts of resistance, but they definitely contribute to the whole, and we are powerful together.

My heart is with you, mp

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Even though I knew it would be, living through what feels like the gutting of democracy as we know feels very painful to me. And one of the problems I’m particularly having is realizing no one is coming to save it. I keep waiting for some heroic emergence, and the people who tried to warn us, are like, ya that’s what we were talking about. So here it is.

What do we do? We are the resistance. We have to speak up, object and deflect. Small actions feel like not enough, but I am still trying to hold strong and learn as much as I can about what’s really happening out there. Thank goodness (again and again) for Heather Cox Richardson - I read her daily and reread it again, and Timothy Snyder from ‘Thinking About…’ , Pod Save America, and everyone out there trying to inform the public about the daily whiplash everyone is susceptible to. Who ARE they trying to help but themselves with all these unconstitutional, illegal measures with this coup on American Democracy.

I have felt consumed by the daily tragedies and it is hard to think about writing when this fight/flight/freeze process keeps on bubbling through the system, but I also know it is important to try and keep writing during these times. It can be regulating to the nervous system to engage in creative activities, no matter how hard it feels to start.

It’s also super important to get exercise and spend some time getting fresh air. I know it sounds lame, but it is super helpful. I’ve been playing a lot of tennis this year so far and hitting a ball repeatedly has done wonders for my mental health.

I hope we can all find ways to help each other through, and listen to each other when we are feeling upset and sad about what is happening. Educate each other on ways to help people still have rights, jobs and support. I am going to do my best.

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Recently my dear friend and co-collaborator John Calvin Abney was cleaning out a drawer in his studio and found an old jump drive. It turned out to be some recordings we made at Folk Alliance International back in early 2016. That sure sounds like a lifetime ago! He mixed and mastered the tracks and sent them to me recently. I put them up on Bandcamp yesterday and named it Former Times Demos.

These songs would end up on my release of that year ‘What She’s Got to Give’ but these are super stripped down versions of those songs, plus one other unreleased song called ‘Ann’s Boots.’ You can definitely hear the Gillian Welch/David Rawlings influence in our playing from that time, and I’m not even mad about it. It’s a treasure to work with John Calvin. Whenever we get a chance to work together, I am so much happier. One of my musical twins in this world, I love his songs and also what he contributes to my material.

Listening back to the tracks and Abney’s wonderful guitar playing are proving to be a balm to my soul. Check it out:

Thanks for reading and listening. Stay awake and hug a friend when you can. Drink a lot of water too. I love you.

xoxo megan

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Welcome to 2025! The closing of 2024 felt to me, a little bumpy. I had little desire to make a highlights reel. Despite doing a lot of great things this past year, my heart wasn’t in it. I think last year was a year of great growth and learning and things I’m still integrating deeply, which will hopefully come along this year into what the next phase of walking in the light, which emanates from darkness, looks like. I hope that will teach me more than ever about healing.

I’m actually hosting a happy hour show at Dee’s Lounge here in Nashville this coming Thursay, the 9th of January, which happens now to be Jimmy Carter’s funeral, and also my beloved Grandma Z’s birthday. She’s been gone a long time, but I always celebrate her on her day. I have a lot of great guests that are gonna be there, including Miss Tess, India Ramey, Jason Quicksall, Bob Lewis (Slowforce), Ariel Bui, Thomas Bryan Eaton, Annie McCue and a killer rhythm section: Larry Cook (bass) and Erin Nelson (drums).

Come to the show if you can - it’s 6-8:30 (nice & early) and it will be on the Dee’s Lounge stream as well if you aren’t in Nashville.

As for live music, I have one ask this year. Maybe I’ve asked this in the past, but I was really thinking about it on my walk today. This is my request: When you go to a show or watch one on the screens, pick one band member out who isn’t the ‘lead’ person and find out their name and follow them.

It’s really important that we give the credit to all of the musicians out there who are working their tails off, learning a million songs, and often being underpaid for the job they are doing, which is making the lead singer sound good.

All through my music career, I’ve straddled the line of being both a ‘side person’ and a songwriter. Crossing over into being a leader of a band under my own name is a long story and one that is full of me falling in the ditch and thinking about quitting it over and over, yet I can’t stop wanting to do it and putting my own stuff out. I’ve broken up my own band in my mind countless times, only to get back together with it before anyone ever heard about it (the band or the break up LOL).

I’ve found, that sometimes it is easier for me to be in the band and learn other people’s songs, playing that role. But the more songs I learn, the more restless I get to take a stab at making my own thing.

How is it that we come to make art? Maybe it is born out of a need to create and express our emotions through some type of medium. My old religion professor Dr. Carl Skrade defined religion as “a quest for connections that makes sense” and therefore, creation to me is my religion, and just as misunderstood as any religion out there.

Yet, when the conditions are right (and this is unpredictable as hell) making music does feel like a religious experience.

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The last book I finished was a copy of This Wheel’s On Fire by Levon Helm. It was Tom Mason’s copy, and I picked it off his bookshelves at his estate sale. It felt like the right book to end the year 2024 with. Great book, published in 1993. It has food stains presumably from my friend Tom whenever he read it, so I felt like we were reading it together. God, I miss Tom so much. I want to talk to him about this book.

It gives a great and thorough backstory of ‘The Band’ and how it came to be known by that name. It had passed me by that it was because they were backing Bob Dylan at a very specific time in Dylan’s ascension in Woodstock (as he transitioned into having an electric band) and Levon and the Hawks as they were known, were nicknamed by the town as ‘the band’ when they were in town rehearsing and writing. When their first record came out, they were as surprised as anyone else that the label named it THE BAND instead of several other names that had been suggested.

So this band, the band, was a group of sidemen, originally backing Ronnie Hawkins, then later Dylan. When they went on their own, there was a big discussion about the radical notion of the no one being the ‘lead singer.’ Rick Danko suggested it, saying, “Why can’t we have a band, where everybody plays an instrument, everybody sings, everybody does it without some guy out in front running the show and deciding the way things are gonna go?”

Everyone agreed, and Levon says, “When it came up to draw up the contracts we never wanted to see the word ‘sideman’ again. That attitude held for the rest of our career and over the years we’ve had managers and lawyers tear up a whole lot of paperwork because it had that word in it.”

That sounds like a dream. Of course things derailed with the betrayal of Robbie Robertson and their shady manager Albert Grossman (who managed and parted ways with Dylan as well). But I still love the concept and collaboration.

All of this is to say that playing music for me is rooted in the communal experience, which is why I’m excited to have this MP and friends show. I get to do both things I love - sing some of my tunes and also support my fellow songwriting friends and live in the loving arms of two of my favorites, Larry Cook and Erin Nelson. Follow them. You will see how many hats they wear in any given week and how many people they make sound amazing!

Hope to see you at the show or somewhere around the neighborhood this year. I gotta go learn some songs.

xoxo mp

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