So, as the theme of these last few days has been…

…we got up at 4:30, and we were down on the Gautrain (pronounced how-train) to the airport. In the span of 2 hours, we met a Bishop from an Independent Methodist church in Africa, Two Nigerian Pastors of the Global Methodist Church, and one of our Bulgarian sisters.

As we were riding the Gautrain back to Joberg, we had a wonderful conversation about life in our respective countries, and truly felt connection as we were all here for one reason: “To make disciples of Jesus Christ and spread scriptural holiness across the globe.”

I found myself this morning, becoming emotional during worship due to the beauty of the body of Christ from all over the globe, gathering together and singing worship songs.

***A side note, I leaned to Miranda and one point and said to her how funny I thought it was that one of the biggest complaints I hear about contemporary worship music is that we just sing the same words over and over again. Well, that’s exactly what they do in Africa…and it seems to work just fine! But maybe thats a topic for another time.***

With all that being said, what stood out to me today was something I didn’t think I would experience at this General Conference: a sense of tension, but not in the way you might think.

While there was a big vote yesterday regarding our Episcopal elections process, and whether or not 3 of our current Bishops could “Re-stand for election,” it didn’t exactly go the way I had hoped it went. While I can’t speak for our delegation in any official capacity, I think it would be safe to say all of us were disappointed and heart-broken that our beloved Sister In Christ, Bishop Leah Hidde-Gregory did not meet the 75% threshold in order to be able to re-stand for election.

Bishop Gregory is someone that I would follow to the Gates of Hell and back in order to save souls and advance the kingdom. Her phone call to me on the day after our disaffiliation vote to ask me to be a part of her Cabinet in the Mid-Texas conference, is one I will always remember. She told me, in no uncertain terms, that she had nothing to offer other than Jesus, but asked if I would still be willing to serve.

My response: What else do I need?

I am humbled and see it as one of my greatest responsibilities in shepherding the church, and I believe these last three years of serving in this capacity have been years filled with the most spiritual and pastoral growth I have ever experienced. The lesson I have learned by being a Presiding Elder have not only been able to help shape our district in the Hill Country of Texas, but have also made me a better pastor to my people in Llano, whom I am honored to serve and be a part of the community.

But back to the tension. Yes, I believe some feelings have been hurt in the process the played out before us. I could talk about the real impact the way it all happened, and may someday I will, but the biggest place of tension I am finding about this conference, and a topic that has come back to me a few times in the last few months with a number of different things, is that I believe we are trying to put some new wine in old wineskins. I believe, also, that there are some who are not listening to the beautiful messages from our speakers during worship, and they are still trying to “Let their Egypt show.”

What do I mean about that?

Well, I’ve said it before, and I’ve even wrote about it before on Substack. In fact, if you feel like another reading to go along with this, you can read that offering below on this link:

Read Here

But in short, “It was easy to take Israel out of Egypt. It’s a lot harder to take Egypt out of Israel.”

Our Conference, the Mid-Texas Conference, came to GC2026 with, what I believe, is a beautiful framework for how we are called to approach the administration of the church. Now, I know it may be self-serving to say this, but to be fair, I came late to the party. I was elected earlier this year as an ALTERNATE delegate, and was not involved in the process of coming up with this. But when I read it, it put things into perspective. If you listened to the Podcast with Rev. Ryan Barnett, you will have already heard this, but it’s worth repeating.

Our operating principles are as such:
”The Book of Doctrines and Disciplines should include only directives essential for unity and mission. Provisions should (1. Require Global Uniformity. (2. Strengthen the Local Church. (3. Align with disciple-making. (4. Allow flexibility so strutre serves mission. & (5. Be clear and enforceable.”

Our core values are: “In Christ, By the Spirit, Toward Holiness, and for the Local Church everywhere.”

We’ve prayed over these principles and values, we’ve spent time pouring over petitions in order to understand them and their purposes, we’ve discussed them as a delegation, and we have become proficient in understanding the roles of each legislative committee, and how we feel about each petition as a delegation…both in terms of our individual thoughts and the collective as representative of the Mid-Texas GMC Values.

With all that being said, I feel as though there might be some who have come to General Conference, either with unresolved trauma (and there was real trauma and pain for many in the old days), or with a desire to legislate and Robert’s Rules our way into making sure that we don’t make the same mistakes of the past.

If you want my honest opinion, (and you wouldn’t still be reading if you didn’t) Robert’s Rules have been the cause of so much harm, because if you know them proficiently when others do not, you can use them as a sword, rather than the shield they were intended to be; a way to give the minority a voice.

I want to be very clear here, I am not suggesting that different cultures around the world are not as adept at Robert’s Rules, in fact, I believe there are many of us in the west, specifically in the States, who know just enough of them to be dangerous, but not enough to be helpful.

Case in point. I have been sitting in one specific legislative committee just as an observer (I’ll not say which one at this time), but the things we have been discussing have nothing to do with advancing the Gospel…or making disciples. There are people in this room who have a voice and a vote in the committee who are dealing with some real life or death things in their home countries, and I spent an hour and a half listening to debate on a motion that ended up just being withdrawn…and it wasn’t even substantive changes. I look at it akin to defining wha the word “is” is.

I get it…that’s the process. We spend time pouring over petitions, making sure they are something the body would be willing to take up on the floor for discussion or debate, and bring it to a vote, but this is where the tension is. What I am beeling is the tension between being a movement of like-minded Wesleyan Methodists, and a denomination so afraid that the promise God has given us won’t come to fruition in our time, that we’re willing to take matters into our own hands, and legislate our way to oblivion.

Don’t know what I’m referencing? Go look at what Sarai did when she thought God wasn’t moving fast enough. GENESIS 16

However, I am not disenchanted, or even surprised or down-cast about all this, because I know who God is, I know who I am, and I know that every one here has the same desire; to advance the Kingdom of God. We may not agree on exactly how to do that yet, but I’ve heard it said that in 2024, the GMC was an infant denomination. And now that we are two years old, “officially” we’re in our terrible twos and we’ve just learned to walk. It’s gonna take a little while to run.

My prayer is the same as the one I heard this morning from Rev. Portia Kuzanga, who preached on Exodus 3:1-10, where Moses had an encounter with the burning bush. She stated two things that hit me like a ton of bricks.

“The church does not need more polished leaders, she needs more barefoot [humbled before God] leaders.”

&

“Take off your shoes, lose your excuses, and Go!”

My prayer is that all of us…including those of us who find ourselves in positions of responsibility and carrying the burden of leading the church, would humble ourselves in the sight of the Lord, so that the whole church may be raised up, and that God may be glorified.

After all, when it comes down to it, like Bishop Gregory once told me, We have nothing to give but Jesus.

So, what are you still doing with your shoes on?

Give ‘em Jesus, Church. Give ‘em Jesus.

God not only created humans to rule and have dominion over the earth, to “subdue” it, but he also gave humans free will. We could choose what we would do, how we would act, how we would name the animals, and would be given gifts and desires. But with that came the free will to choose whether or not we would love and obey God.

Then enters The Serpent. That crafty (expletive). He came in and put doubt in the mind of both Adam and Eve. Sure, Eve gets the bad wrap because she was the first to eat the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, but then Adam trusted his wife more than he trusted God, so he’s just as culpable. What’s worse is when God calls him on it, he throws Eve under the bus and says to God, “that woman you gave me…she gave it to me.”

Jerk.

So, you may be thinking, “how in the world is one of your favorite verses in this terrible story of the fall.”

Well, I’m glad you asked. Because there is this moment that, in my mind, kinda plays out like those scenes in the old cartoons where “Morning Mood” by Edvard Grieg is playing in the background. You know the song. If not…you will when you click the link below:

Morning Mood

God has created everything Good. Adam and Eve do the thing, and the scene cuts to this song, and we see a picture of God “Walking in the cool of the day.” What a beautiful picture. God walking in the garden in the cool of the day.

The last couple of days have been pretty terrible for my family. I have some cousins that grew up in the Binghamton, New York, area. My mom and my two uncles grew up in North East Pennsylvania, and while all of them lived in Texas for a time, my uncles moved back and have lived life up there for most of my life.

My cousin Erik has three kids, a boy and two girls. All of our kids are around the same age with my Son, Benjamin, being the oldest of the second cousins at 15. Erik’s oldest son, Cameron was simply swimming in a pool playing with his friends, when he went into cardiac arrest, and tragically, he is no longer with us.

I won’t go into any further details than that because I don’t know them and I don’t want to spread any misinformation, but none of that matters. Now, my cousin and his lovely bride are living in a reality that no one should ever have to live in: the loss of a child.

There are no words. There is nothing I could say as a pastor, nothing I could say as a cousin that would make this loss better. And I’ll be honest, while I love my extended family, the truth is we are far away from each other. I did not get to know Cameron like many of his friends and close family did, so I do not have the same level of grief even as those who did, but I still grieve.

I grieve for his mom and dad. I grieve for my Uncle and Aunt who lost a grandson. I grieve for my mom who is very much reliving her own grief in the loss of my sister Devan on top of undergoing a huge life change as she and my dad move to Llano (today!). I grieve for the brokenness that exists in this world where some kids simply swimming in a pool could result in tragedy.

And yet…God was walking in the cool of the day.

Yesterday was hot. It got up to 100* in town. After Strength and Conditioning, my son, Benjamin, came home and mowed the grass. (What a beautiful sight it is). But he didn’t weed-eat or edge, and so when I came home yesterday, I had the thought I would finish it. I enjoy it. I really do…but not when it’s 100*. So I chose to wait until the evening.

Of course, in Texas, that means that 8:00 is about the time when it starts to finally cool down. So, I came outside and hooked the batteries up to my DeWalt Edger, Weed-eater, and blower (yes, I’m a DeWalt tools guy), and I got to work. While I was working, thinking about grief, thinking about what had happened, I felt a relatively cool breeze..and this Scripture came to mind.

“As God was walking in the cool of the day…”

Questions and thoughts started coming to mind.

What was God doing? Why was he walking in the garden? Why wasn’t he sitting on his throne? Why wasn’t he already with Adam and Eve keeping them safe from the Serpent? Why wasn’t he off creating something?

Well…he was doing exactly what the Scripture says he was. He was walking [in the garden] in the cool of the day. He was present. He was enjoying his creation. He was exactly where he was supposed to be…where ever he wanted to be.

So the next question is, where were Adam and Eve? And why did God have to ask them where they were and why were they hiding.

Have you ever thought about that? God, the creator of the universe knows exactly where every molecule is. God knows the numbers of hairs (or lack thereof) on my head. Did he really not know where Adam and Eve were? Did he really not know what the Serpent was up to?

He clearly wasn’t asleep…he wasn’t inattentive to his creation…he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day.

The problem wasn’t “where was God?” The problem was “where were Adam and Eve?”

God knew where they were…but did Adam and Eve?

They clearly knew where God was because we read in Adam’s response, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

So Why did God ask them?

I believe it’s because he wanted to know their answer. He gave them the choice to keep hiding…or to answer.

In my experience with Children, it’s kind of like when my kids do something they aren’t supposed to do, but then I ask them the question: Do you know why you’re in trouble? Do you know why what you did is wrong or bad? Where is your head? Or in the case of the story of the Fall, God asks, “Adam, Eve, where is your heart.”

The reason we live in a broken world is because we would rather do things our way than God’s way. The reason there is tragedy is because there is Evil and brokenness brought on by our sinful nature.

Now, I want to be VERY clear here. I do not believe what happened to my family is because someone sinned. I do not believe this has anything to do with something his parents did…or grandparents…or generations before him.

This was a tragedy.

It was a terrible accident. But because of the curse brought on by sin, death is a tragic part of life, and because Adam and Eve chose to remove themselves from the presence of God, because they closed off their heart from God and “hid” from him, they broke everything. Even our bodies.

Cancer.

Vehicle Wrecks.

Tornadoes.

Hurricanes.

Earthquakes.

Fires.

Swimming Accidents.

These are all realities of a world that choose to hide itself from God.

BUT

I believe God still walks in the cool of the day.

In the midst of the story of the fall, God was walking in his creation. In the midst of our sins, God was still present…near…

What’s crazy is even in that story, it was GOD who went after Adam and Eve. It was GOD who went looking for them when they were the ones who left him in their hearts.

The Psalmist writes in the 34th Psalm, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in Spirit.”

And so, in these moments when grief seems to much to bear, when the thoughts of not knowing what to say, in the moments where words cannot express the pain and sorrow, we must remember the promise that God has given us.

“I will never leave you nor forsake you,” and “I will be with you always, even to the end of the age.”

We must remember that God, still walks in the cool of the day…he is still present with us through the power of His Holy Spirit.

May we all turn our hearts back to him.

Stay Hungry For God, My Friends
~Pastor Bryan

I’ll admit, my first post a week ago or so about Representative Talarico was partly tongue-in-cheek. Only partly because of the original source being “Not The Bee” who changed his name to “Talafreako.” I honestly wasn’t phased by it because it’s the Babylon Bee, a self-avowed right leaning satirical publication. Honestly, it’s not even something I saw when I posted…I just agreed with the premise it was aiming for; that the words of Mr. Talarico are in fact troublesome and confusing.

If you read most of The Bee’s publications, even in things you “agree with,” you will find lots of humor. However, I’ll grant that the name change…probably was not in the best of tastes.

I’ll say this, while sometimes jokes diminish credibility, one thing is for sure…we as a society have completely lost the ability to laugh at ourselves.

Now, to the clearing up of where I stand on all of this.

I want to be very clear: by me calling Mr Talarico to account for his theology, I am not, in some back-door way telling anyone who to vote for. In my role as a minister, I am ONLY focused on his theology, although I can understand how, that because Mr. Talarico is not just an aspiring minister and is also serving and running for office, that it is hard to separate the two. But herein lies the problem, by Mr. Talarico opening that door and using his progressive theology as the basis of his platform, he is the one who is guilty of conflating the two. Unfortunately in the political climate we find ourselves in now, it’s like there is a button you push and once you press it, you can’t un-press it. If you comment on one “side” you draw the ire of the other “side.” And visa versa.

Simply by Mr. Talarico being on the other side from a repugnant republican candidate, when I call Mr. Talarico out on something, I am suddenly “carrying water” for a political campaign and the “other side” takes offense.

There are some who have personally messaged me in the last couple of days who have taken great offense to my postings of late. I’ve been told I will be “unfollowed,” and have been called out for being a shill for Mr. Ken Paxton. This couldn’t be father from the truth.

I don’t feel like I owe anyone an apology, nor do I feel like I owe anyone an explanation. However, I do want to be, again, very clear: I do not support Mr. Ken Paxton either.

I’ll be honest, I have not spent much time researching or focusing on Mr. Paxton, his politics, his controversies, violations, and/or infidelities. What I do know is that he has had Criminal Charges, bribery allegations, he was impeached in 2023 on 20 separate articles, and a host of other misgivings. Again, for clarity sake, I am not in favor of criminal activity, however, on every single one of the charges brought against him, he has been acquitted.

Now, I know…the court of public opinion matters, but we do still live in a country where you are innocent until proven guilty. And no…this isn’t a cop-out, nor am I saying that I’d love to just hang out with Mr. Paxton, but the presumption of innocence is still a major right framed in the Constitution of the Great State of Texas and of the United States of America.

Does this mean I’m going to vote for him? Absolutely not. But then again…we also have this thing called free and fair elections, which partly means it’s none of your…or anyone else’s…business, who I vote for, just like it’s none of my business who you vote for. I must also explicitly restate, it is also not my reasoning for posting what I have about Mr. Talarico.

I do take exception though to the assumption that just because I call out one person for terrible theology (I’ve been to seminary, so I have earned the right to make such claims), that means that I automatically support the other side.

This is the problem with American politics. If you want to go further into my thoughts on this, you can read a previous Substack I wrote about the subject.

You can find that article by clicking here if you haven’t already read it.

Click Here for "The New Colosseum"

At any rate, I get it. Facebook is really supposed to be a place for sharing pictures of smoked meats (pictured below) and whether or not the Aggies won (not pictured below…insert Aggie joke here)…

…but in a world where there are so many competing voices and so many who conflate politics and religion, ON BOTH SIDES, as a minister of the Gospel, I cannot allow a wolf in sheep’s clothing to continue to espouse scriptural claims that are anathema, or opposite of Holy. Yes…heretical.

Ken Paxton may be a wolf. He may be a terrible person. He may be a criminal. He at least seems to be a womanizer and someone I don’t want around my daughters, but at least I know that about him and have the ability to see him for what he is. My hope for Mr. Paxton is, like me, he repents of his sins and turns to the Father.

After all…that’s the goal for all of us isn’t it?

But when it comes to Mr. Talarico, I believe his policies are destructive to human life, dangerous to liberty, and to the pursuit of happiness.

But once again…in the context of my posts, I don’t care about any of that.

My concern is that there are those who believe he’s a better choice just because his name isn’t Paxton and he says the name “Jesus” occasionally.

Fine.

But if he’s going to use the name of Jesus, then he’d better read the Bible and preach the Gospel that all of us are fallen; all of us are sinners and in need of saving. That Jesus came born as a baby, from his mother’s womb to be the savior of the world; not to be used as a tool or a way to some how perversely prove that its ok to murder babies.

That he came as a man, in the flesh. That he called God “Father,” and taught us to do the same.

That he bled and died a horrible death, paying the punishment for our sins…everything from looking at pornographic books in the library (see what I did there, Llano?), to aborting babies. Every single one of those on the “spectrum of sinfulness,” Jesus died for.

And yes pornography and murdering babies is sin - just in case you were wondering where I stood on those issues.

Sorry-not-sorry.

But what’s more is that Jesus didn’t just get put in the ground and forgotten. No, he was resurrected on the third day and he ascended into heaven, sent his Holy Spirit, and promised to return one day. And as Paul writes, “If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” (Romans 10:9 NKJV)

Perhaps, if Mr. Talarico finishes his seminary courses, he’ll get around to preaching this Gospel that we are MANDATED to preach as ministers of the Gospel. But for now, it just seems like he likes to show up in sanctuaries consecrated to the Lord and as a politician lecture about abortion, a non-binary god (oh…and I’m sure there is one that has been worshiped in the past), and human sexuality. What does any of that have to do with the Gospel?

But then again, as a political hack for the republican party, what do I know?

There goes that snarkiness again. How unbecoming….

Stay hungry for God, my friends.
Pastor Bryan

We may not agree on politics, but I hope we can agree on the need for Jesus in everything.

Enjoy!

In the late 1st and 2nd centuries A.D., during the height of the Roman Empire, particularly the Flavian and early Antonine dynasties, Rome experienced the peak of Colosseum Culture. The images one might think of about this time are those that come from the likes of movies such as “Gladiator.”

As a brief aside, this is probably one of the greatest movies of all time. Lot’s of really great quotes and cinematic moments; a movie I went to see with my dad when I had just finished my freshmen year of high school.

The Colosseum (also called the Flavian Amphitheater was completed in 80 A.D. under the emperor Titus, son of Vespian. The opening games lasted 100 days. During the first 100 days, thousands of animals were killed, Gladiators fought daily, and there were even mock naval battles and elaborate executions were staged. The Colosseum could hold anywhere from 50,000 - 65,000 spectators, making it the largest entertainment venue in the ancient world.

In comparison, the Sports venues of today can hold twice as many. Take for instance my beloved Texas A&M’s Kyle Field, there were 110,905 people there for the George Strait Concert held there in June of 2024.

But what’s interesting about the Colosseum and its usage at its peak is that it wasn’t just about the games. It wasn’t just about the entertainment value. It was political.

Roman emperors used the games to display imperial wealth, demonstrate control over life and death, distract the populous from political tensions, and to reinforce Roman identity and hierarchy.

For many years I have thought about this concept of how “the masses” can be controlled by “entertainment.” As an Aggie, it isn’t lost on me that when 40,000-60,000 maroon bleeding students and fans show up at midnight for a “Yell Practice,” and 100,000 plus fans show up on Saturdays, sometimes in less than 10. hours after they’ve gone to bed the night (well, morning) before, that we’re a little weird. Some may say crazy or brainwashed.

But when you put it all together, no matter what school is your favorite, or what your favorite pro football or sports team is, sports, in general, is a distraction from “real life.” Sure, there are certain parts of sports that imitate, or illuminate truths about life, like there are always winners and losers, or you have to work hard to be good at what you want to do. But when it comes to sports, for those who are not on the field…it’s all about entertainment. It’s all about leaving the real world for a little while and being excited about and rooting for something bigger than yourself.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love sports. I am increasingly becoming more interested in High School sports than even College because I believe High School Sports are still pure in its intention…in other words, not all about money. But sports in an of itself aren’t bad. But when it becomes a point of worship…well, “Houston, we’ve got a problem.” And if you don’t think people worship sports, you’ve never been to a game.

Even more fascinating though is a thought I’ve had recently about how at one point I would have said that the “Colosseum” of today are things like Sporting Events, but now I think there is something even more “entertaining” to the masses than sporting events.

POLITICS ITSELF!

Whereas the Colosseum was made to distract from politics…politics has became the entertainment we are invested in to distract us from real life. Allow me to explain.

Politics, by definition is “the process by which groups of people make decisions about power, resources, rules, and governance.” Simply, politics is all about who has power over people.

As Americans, our governance is a Democratic Republic, not to be confused with a Democracy. The concept of democracy is involved in being a Republic, but it is NOT the same. We are a collection of States that work together to provide federal leadership. Each state, as a state, has a say in who the president is and who their representatives are at the federal level. Each state also has its own state governance elected by the people by regions known as districts. Whereas a true democracy is where the citizens vote directly on laws and policies, and the majority rule determines outcomes, a democratic republic gives voice to all of its citizens through representative governance, entrusting that our representatives do their job and represent their constituents. We won’t for our purposes now talk about how they are doing, but perhaps another day.

Over time, with the advent of 24/7 News Media around the early 2000’s, we now have constant access to “news.” Because of our constant access to news, whether it be on the TV or on Social Media, the “system” is flooded with information, and when you flood the system with information, many times chaos ensues.

There are so many different sources of “news,” and each one is promoting their own agenda (yes, even the sources I mostly listen to).

Very similarly to our favorite sports teams, we have chosen a favorite news team.

I mean, let’s look at this in terms of some humor for just a moment.

When it comes to comparing News Organizations to NFL Teams:

Fox News = Dallas Cowboys

• Huge, loyal national fanbase.

• Strong Identity (America’s Team)

• Loved by fans, hated by rivals

• Star personalities

CNN = New York Giants

• A Historic Brand

• Both located in media/power hubs

• Sometimes inconsistent (Giants have championship highs and rebuilding years, and CNN cycles through identity changes and ratings swings.

• Tries to position itself as mainstream

MSNBC = San Fransisco 49ers

• Strong ideological identity

• Highly Analytical fans

• Star Personalities

NPR = Green Bay Packers

• Cultivated, loyal and national audience.

• Feels Community Oriented

• More thoughtful pacing

New York Times = New England Patriots

• Elite Reputation

• Loved by Fans, EXTREMELY HATED by rivals. Like…extremely.

• Influence over the league

The reality of this is that many Americans go to the news to find out what happened this day. They no longer consume it to be informed, they consume it to see their team win the narrative game.

This last year, my family took a vacation to Washington D.C. over the Thanksgiving Holiday. It was an amazing trip. My wife and I wanted to take our kids to all the Museums and Monuments we could. This was the first family vacation we had taken just the 5 of us in a couple years, and it was truly a great trip.

While we were there, we had fantastic experiences. Some of them were somber, like when we went to Arlington and we were honored to witness not just the changing of the Guard, but also a wreath laying ceremony at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. We also were honored to visit the Holocaust Museum, which is a must see if you can get there. It is not something I would say you would “enjoy.” But it is very moving and powerful, and very well done.

But for me, one of the greatest moments was when our tour guide ( who happened to be one of my students from my time in San Angelo), was able to get us into the U.S. House Of Representatives Gallery. It was one of those bucket list things for me. I could have just sat there and thought about all the conversations, debates, and history that happens in that place.

But one thing that was pointed out to me by a friend who was there around the same time was how disappointing that room really is. Not disappointing because of its grandeur, or its beauty, but because when you really look around the room, what you see are lights and cameras.

We weren’t allowed to take our phones into the chamber, otherwise I would show you a picture, but where we were sitting and all around the gallery were massive scene lighting and cameras.

My friend also talked about how at its inception, the purpose of the House of Representatives was for it to be a deliberative body, but when was the last time there was an actual debate on the floor of the HoR? Nowadays, it’s pre-planned speeches, show boating, and dramatic posturing. (Here’s looking at you, Nancy Pelosi, ripping up pages behind the president for all the world to see. Too soon?)

You may not agree with me on any of this. That’s ok. But from my perspective, especially with everything going on these days, we are addicted to the “news.” Let’s be honest, we are entertained by it. We have our favorite teams, our favorite players, and we hope the other ones lose.

No, it’s not a bloody gladiator battle, nor is it an epic defensive battle on the gridiron, but it does have winners and losers. And this pastor, who definitely has his opinions on the “matters” that matter, I think we need to repent. I think we need to take some time to really look at how much we replace our worship of God with the worship of our “teams.”

As I wrap up, I am reminded of the Scripture from 1 Corinthians 1: 12-13. Paul is rebuking believers for forming identity-based camps around leaders rather than around Christ. Even in the early church, believers were tempted to divide themselves into teams. He writes: “What I mean is that each one of you says, ‘I follow Paul,’ or ‘I follow Apollos,’ or ‘I follow Cephas,’ or ‘I follow Christ.’ Is Christ divided? I thank God that I baptized none of you except Crispus and Gaius, so that no one can say that you were baptized in my name.”

The truth is, some things never change. The question is, are you going to allow yourself to follow masses who are controlled? Or are you going to follow Jesus? Are you going to allow yourself to worship the Gladiator, your team, or your favorite politician, or is your worship reserved for the only one who deserves it?

Stay Hungry for God, My friends.
Pastor Bryan

As you cross into the Great State of Texas, you are greeted with a sign that seems to beam with pride, which clearly states, “Drive Friendly - The Texas Way.”

When I was growing up, some of my earliest memories are of my family driving down Texas Highways in the Hill Country. My dad’s first appointment was in a small town on Medina Lake called “Lakehills, TX.” There was really only one way in and one way out, because the road pretty much dead-ended at the lake.

Both my sister and I went to the first couple of years of elementary school in “Bandera, TX,” and we would ride 30-45 minutes every morning on the bus over county roads and on Texas Highway 16.

Highway 16, as you can tell, is a very long Highway that runs through the heart of the state; North & South. If I were to pick one Highway that would be best representative of a journey through the Hill Country of Texas, it would be HWY 16. Interestingly enough, my current town of Llano is also on HWY 16, and I frequently have the opportunity (and sometimes, frustration) of keeping its pavement warm.

If you have been paying attention to the news of late, you will have heard about the Texas Hill Country as the area has endured very severe and tragic flooding over the last couple of weeks. As of the writing of this blog, (July 13) the confirmed death toll is 129 people, and there are 170 people still missing or unaccounted for; 161 of those coming from Kerr County alone, which also happens to have HWY 16 running right through it.

My heart breaks for those who have lost loved ones, and for those who do not even have the closure of at least knowing where their loved ones are.

However, while I could spend time talking about the floods, or talking about the recovery efforts, my mind has been stuck. I have been stuck on a thought, and while I’m not sure it will be helpful to anyone but me to get it out on on this blog, I find myself needing to write it, nonetheless.

There was a time that doesn’t seem all that long ago, but is more likely 25-30 years ago, when I remember road trips being very different than they are now. I remember a time when the speed-limit in Texas was 55, as it was in most of the country. Now, In some places it’s 85. But I remember a time driving down Texas Highways when there was a sense of decorum…You know…some “rules of the road.”

For instance, if you were going slower than someone who was coming up behind you, you kindly moved over to the shoulder, let the person pass, and the person who passed would turn on their flashers and thank the person for letting them pass.

Now, I don’t know if this only happened in Texas or anywhere else in the country…but for some reason, I remember it very vividly. There were times when my parents or grandparents would get passed, and I remember them slowing down just enough and moving over. Then there were times when my parents would be the ones passing, and I would always check to make sure my dad hit the 4-way flashers to thank the person they passed.

In fact, my God-Father, who is now with the Lord, used to drive an old brown Chevy Pickup that looked something like this:

I don’t think the paint is exactly the same…but I do remember it being brown with a bench seat, and for some reason, I remember Uncle Bobby just simply driving on the shoulder because, well, we just weren’t in a hurry.

People would pass us on HWY 16 on our way from Bandera to Lakehills, and they’d hit their hazards, and he’d waive back.

Have you ever thought about how crazy life has become that we have forgotten the little things like this? I mean, I know, this whole blog I am writing today seems weird…even to me…the one writing it, but I just can’t shake the thought.

I can’t shake the thought that our world has been so caught up in the craziness, and that we have become so busy that we don’t let people pass us and give them a friendly wave as they do it. We are so caught up in the grand gestures, the big photo-op moments where we can show others how good we are, and I feel we have lost something because of it.

Today, I preached a Sermon on “The Almost Christian.”

Jesus calls out the Pharisees and Sadducees in Matthew 23 and calls them “White Washed Tombs” and like a “Cup that has been cleaned on the outside, but is still dirty on the inside.”

You see, I believe we as a culture have let the little things go. We have spent so much time trying to make those big gestures that we have forgotten the matters of the heart; The small gestures that once proved that we were kind people, whether we were driving a little faster or a little slower on the Highway. The Small gestures that proved we were “Driv[ing] Friendly - The Texas Way,” or the little gestures of love that Jesus says will identify us as his own.

My hope for anyone reading this is for you to remember that you are not alone.

Over the next few weeks and months, and in some cases years, there will be a need for healing; for rebuilding. When the adrenaline wears off, and the thousands of people who have come to the aid of Texas go home, we will need each other. Our communities will need to reach out to each other and we will need to answer the call. But most importantly, we will need to remember that our strength does not come from how many followers we have or likes we have…or even how much money we raise, but how much we show the world that there is a God and a people who will love them…with gestures both big and small.

Stay Hungry For God, My friends.
Pastor Bryan

Then with the already stacked traffic, you throw in a couple of semi-trucks hauling containers to and from the port, motor cycles, and pedestrians who literally just walk right in front of you, you get a little image of what the daily commute is like.

Then, as if two different worlds have collided, you leave the hustle and bustle of the city and straight into the forrest. It’s as if the city itself is a nest buried inside a lushious green tree, all connected to a beautiful scenic oceanside.

But what is spectacular about this place is not so much about the trees or the beach, or even the life in the small, but very “well-used” city scape of Limón, no…it’s her people. This whole trip, we have not encountered one mean or angry, or rude person. Sure, we spent most of our time working with and talking to (in Spanglish) people we were here to meet, and we didn’t exactly go door-to-door, but there is something special about this place.

I’ve got my thoughts on quite a few things about this week that I am pondering and hoping to write about some day, but something I never want to forget happened on Thursday, June 5 at about 2:30 in the afternoon.

One of the traditions of a trip like this is to close our time togehter with the host church in worship. Through translation with our amazing guide, Pastor Juan of the Iglesia Evangélica Metodista Limón Jesucristo es el Señor, led us through the scriptures. But before this, he sat us down and made sure that we were separated male and female in a circle around the room.

To be honest, I thought this was odd at first, but one of our hermanos de Costa Rica let me know that this is the way church used to be here. The men would sit on one side, and the women on the other, and in many cases, they would even enter through separate doors. More on this some other time.

But as Pastor Juan talked about healing in the scriptures, and he talked about obedeience. Then, he and men and women from the Church left the room into the tiny kitchen, grabbed bowls of water, and returned. Then, he talked about this part of the Scripture:

³ Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; ⁴ so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. ⁵ After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

⁶ He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”

⁷ Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”

⁸ “No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.”

Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”

⁹ “Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!”

¹⁰ Jesus answered, “Those who have had a bath need only to wash their feet; their whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.” ¹¹ For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean.

¹² When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. ¹³ “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. ¹⁴ Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. ¹⁵ I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. ¹⁶ Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. ¹⁷ Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

But before he read that…as soon as they went back into the kitchen, it hit me like a tone of bricks because of what I knew was coming.

These people, these wonderful people, whom we had come to serve, made themselves obedient to Christ, and did the very thing Christ had taught them to do. They knelt down and washed our feet.

As soon as Pastor Juan locked eyes with me, as he came to wash my feet first, I could not understand the feelings welling up inside of me. In fact, even right now as I write this as we wait for our dinner in another beautiful part of Costa Rica, I am struggling to put it into words.

All I remember thinking is, “There is no way I am going to let you wash my feet.”

Huh…exactly like Peter. Go figure.

I think I know it all. I think I have the ability to preach and teach and bring people to Christ, and yet, here I am denying what Christ is doing for me. Here is this pastor who was helping us help him build his own house, a house that isn’t much bigger than my living room and kitchen, and he insists on washing my feet, and I was trying to deny him just like Peter was trying to deny Christ.

Ouch.

Now, as an aside, if you are not familiar with the story of Jesus washing the disciples feet, I’d love to tell you more some time, but what you need to know to be able to move to the next part of this reading is that this practice would have been set aside for the lowest of the low servants in a house, and would have often been relegated to a female slave. So the story that we read here is about Jesus lowering himself in humility to the lowest point to prove a point on how we are supposed to serve one another.

The love of Christ was so real in this moment. It was so deep. So powerful. So overwhelming. So much so, I couldn’t sit in the chair any more.

The presence of Christ was so thick in this little carport, which doubles as a Suday School room for Children, that I feel to my face. I couldn’t even stand it.

How can I even claim to be a Christian in the presence of such servants of Jesus? How can I even call myself worthy of the love that they poured out…literally…for us.

And it didn’t stop there.

After this, Pastor Juan invted me up to the center and they prayed over me. They prayed over me for healing and anointed me with oil. My head. My hands. My sides. My neck. Even My feet.

You may be thinking…none of that is for me. OK. I won’t force it. But let me just tell you that I cannot stop thinking about yesterday. Even while we were on the river doing some white water rafting today, every time it would get calm, my mind would wander back to yesterday.

What I can tell you from this, is God is real. I always knew it. I have felt him before. But this was the most powerful presence of Christ I have ever experienced, and it happened in the little port town of Limón, Costa Rica, a little piece of heaven on earth.

and everything tracked as it had the round before.

Day two I started feelin’ crummy, and day three I was down for the count. But the real reason it was a hard week honestly had nothing to do with my treatments. Over the last month, our congregation has lost two beautiful people. One was a Champion Roper who had a deep faith and lived out his walk with Jesus every day. He worked hard, cared for “his people” and had a heart of gold.

I had the honor of presiding over his Celebration of Life on Thursday. Yes, if the family reads this, I really was good Thursday morning. Still a little foggy in my brain, but I was “there for it.” I wouldn’t have been anywhere else and I am thankful that we had a great day of celebrating the man he was and the legacy he has left behind.

The second loss was a lady who I have prayed for fervently for the last two years. Part of me wants to say “she lost the battle with cancer,” but that is not at all the case, because the joke’s on cancer. She is now celebrating full healing in the arms of her savior.

This lovely lady was a rock. Her faith was unshakable, even to the very end. She beleived in Jesus and what he had done for her so much that when you walked in the room, you couldn’t help but to feel HIS presence.

Two weeks ago when I visited with her and prayed with her for the last time before her passing, I happend to give her one of those little Jesus figurines. As she took her last breaths, she was holding it and a cross in her hands.

May we hold on to Jesus so tightly, even till our last breath.

My one regret with Susan is that she would tell me when she got home she had some questions she wanted to talk with me about. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen, so I guess I’ll just have to wait until I see her again. Of course, by then, we’ll get to ask God himself! What a day that will be!

This last week was full of tough days. Days where I couldn’t lift my head off of the pillow, and days where I didn’t want to. But the reality is, I’ve got so much work to do and so little time to do it.

If it’s one thing about cancer that I have learned, it’s that it puts things into perspective. Things that once took “priority” don’t really matter all that much anymore. Issues at the church or as a Presiding Elder, issues with finances, or things that used to cause me anxiety don’t really both me these days. In fact, there doesn’t seem to be much that bothers me all that much anymore.

But as it is with everything, there are good days and bad days. Easy days, and tough days. Today, was an easy day. Wednesday and Thursday, not so much.

Interestingly enough though, last week I found something on Facebook that piqued my interest. You know how it is, you talk about “tough days” or “hard days” or cancer or something like that and Facebook is listening? Well, I came across a Facebook post from a Non-profit organization called The "Till Valhalla Project.”

From their website:

You can find out more if you’d like, but the reason I bring it up is because of one of their main slogans is “Don’t let the hard days win.”

Because of where I am in my battle right now, already having some experienced, but still very much in the beginning, there have been moments when I have had the thought: “I have to do this 6 more times?”

But I am not without hope. I am not even CLOSE to giving up. Nor would I. There are too many people who are praying, to many people who love me, too many people who are fighting with me and for me.

I will not let the hard days win.

Lately, I’ve been watching through The House Of David. If you have Amazon Prime you can watch it, but it is the story of King David and his rise to power as the King of Israel. Where I am in the story at this time is right after King Saul receives word from Samuel that the Lord’s anointing has left him.

As I was watching the first couple of episodes, I wondered if Saul had repented of his sins, would God have removed his anointing. After all, David sinned, and yet God continued to bless him. I believe that the story of Saul is that yes, if you continue to push God out of your heart, he will not fight his way back in. He will, as Paul writes in Romans 1:26, “Give them over to their sinful lusts.”

But when we repent, when we turn back to God, he will be there waiting for us.

There are days that are hard. Perhaps there is a sin in your life that you just can’t shake. You’ve tried so hard to stop doing “it” by yourself for so long, but “it” just keeps rearing its ugly head. There are thoughts you have that creep in that make you beleive a lie that Satan is trying to get you to beleive.

If we’re being honest…that’s hard.

But because Jesus conquered the hardest day in the history of humanity, you too can be more than an overcomer.

I refuse to let the hard days win. For me and for you.

Health Update

This week’s health update is good, although a little frustrating. It was confirmed for me that there will be a total of 8 treatments, no less. I misunderstood and thought there would only be 6, with a possible 8, but it will be the full regimen. That’s ok. What’s two more treatments among friends?

But on the very good side, my Oncologist believes based on her assessment this past week that the treatments are already working, and that the disease is responding to the chemo. The swelling in my neck has gone down, and things are looking good.

She did discuss the possibility of a couple of rounds of radiation, but that will be determined after my midway PET Scan on the 17th of June.

I know there is quite a bit of the journey ahead, but I am glad you are on it with me. It is my hope that as you have read these that you see that even in the midst of “hard things” God is still Good.

If you need someone to talk to, or if you just need prayer, I would be honored to lift you up or even chat with you!

Know that you are loved. I may not even know you, but because Jesus loves me, I love you.

And As always,

Stay Hungry for God, My friends.
Pastor Bryan

I feel Good.

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First, my body feels pretty decently good, especially this week. If everything tracks similarly, I believe I’m gonna be alright.

Treatment Day (Day 1), I was tired just from the day. It was a long day of sitting and waiting. It started with blood work, then a doctor visit as we prepared for treatments. Once we finally got a vein to do treatments, it was really just sitting and allowing the IV to drip until the bags were dry. Then it was time to go home and honestly, it was just a quiet evening.

Wednesday (Day 2), I woke up and noticed I was a little more tired than usual, but I was able to function per my normal. Got up and went to Fuel Coffee House, A place where everyone knows your name, and they’re always glad you came. (Someone should write a show and a song with those lyrics…)

I was fairly productive at the office that morning and felt pretty good…until about 1:00 when I felt like I hit a brick wall. As I was sitting in my office chair, I thought: “well this is different.”

So I used my “Take a Nap Anytime” card, and did just that.

I came back to the Church and taught our Confirmation Class, then went home and pretty much went straight back to bed.

Thursday (Day 3), I was tired. I did get some work done, because Sunday does come every week, and then that brick wall popped up again. So…NAP.

Friday (Day 4) was Port Placement Day. I was honored by being driven by my good friend Monte, who graciously got up early to get me down to my appointment. This guy is a good one. He was with me the whole time (except for the procedure part) and did more than he had to…that’s for sure.

The rest of the day was pretty blah, so I took a nap, but then I got to go and the the Public Announcing for the Last Home Baseball Game of the Season for the Llano Yellow Jackets.

Definitely one of my favorite spots in Llano.

Saturday (Day 5) was a good day, but it was just a chill day of resting and getting some things done around the house. What I do remember though that stood out about that day is I was praying that I was going to be able to make it through Sunday…because again, Sunday comes every week.

Sunday (Day 6), OH MY GOSH! GOD IS SO GOOD! I woke up, had energy, and God was praised…Even on the Sunday After Easter! (IYKYK).

After that it’s been pretty much smooth sailing and this week has been filled with a bunch a different busy moments.

So what have I learned?

Well, I have learned that sometimes, I just can’t.

Sometimes, I just can’t do the things.

I have heard it many different times in many different ways, but I have learned that I just have to listen to my body.

If you know me, you know that I have a very eclectic work life. Not only am I a pastor of a growing and thriving church in the heart of the Texas Hill Country, but I am a Volunteer Fire Fighter, a Presiding Elder, a Football (and now Baseball) Public Announcer, and I am the Chief Operations Officer for Revive Ministries. My full time job is the whole Pastor thing…just in case you were wondering. :)

SHAMELESS PLUG: Go to Revivetexas.org and Check us out! We’ve Got lots of spots for Children’s Camp and Youth Camp this Summer!

Often times I get the feeling that people wonder how I do it all. The truth is…everyone is just as busy as I am, I just have ADHD and I do a bunch of different things because I get bored easily.

But I have learned this week through experiences that I just can’t sometimes.

I have learned a few times this week, that I have a need to set some boundaries. I love doing the things that I do, but I cannot do everything. Let me be clear, this doesn’t. mean I need to give something up right now. This just means that when I have to say no, I have to say no, and that’s gonna have to be ok. I love my job at the church, but I don’t have to do everything to make it work. In fact, if I were to cease existing the church will still go on, fire calls would still be made, football games and baseball games would still happen, and camp will go on.

What I’ve learned is that while I am called and love and enjoy these things, I just have the honor of participating. I do not control them and they are not my things. They are gifts that God has given to me; they do not define me and I do not define them.

This is a good thing. This is a healthy mindset.

It’s just a reminder that I do not own anything, that I came into this world with nothing, but I will leave this world with everything in Christ. But I have no plans to go anywhere yet…so, with that being said, I’ll do what I can when I can…and I’ll take a nap when I can’t.

Stay Hungry For God, My friends.
Pastor Bryan

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To be honest, I haven’t felt all that bad. Even before we found the lump on my neck in January, there were no real symptoms other than possibly fatigue, but as someone who wakes up thinking about his first cup of coffee, tiredness never really crossed my mind as being one of the symptoms.

I will say that after my Excision to remove lymph nodes for biopsy, it took me a good three days to get over the groggy feeling, mostly due to the anesthesia, and once I got that drain out, I honestly felt like a million bucks…even having the offical diagnosis being Classic Hoddkin’s Lymphoma (CHL).

As I’ve been pondering all ‘these things in my heart,’ all the thoughts about having cancer and being constantly asked how I am doing, I’ve actually thought more thoughts like: is there something wrong with me that I’m not sicker than people think I should be? Isn’t that a funny thought? Here I am…all cancery (my made-up word), but I’m more worried about NOT being as sick as I should be? I guess it makes sense if you don’t think about it.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind it when people ask how I’m doing. I truly beleive people care. But it is interesting to me how people respond differently to other people’s problems. Some give advice. Others say they are praying. Even others ask if they can bring me food. (I like that one). It’s just a wonder to me how everyone deals with things like this differently. None of it is bad…just different.

A few weeks ago, when I had my excision, my dad called in the morning of, and prayed with Miranda & I on the phone. The kids were all present, and my mom was with us to help out through the day. But he mentioned something in prayer that also stuck with me.

He, in essence, quoted a passage from scripture where Paul is talking about having a “thorn in his flesh.”

The passage is from 2 Corinthians 12: 6-10

⁶ If I did want to brag, I wouldn’t make a fool of myself because I’d tell the truth. I’m holding back from bragging so that no one will give me any more credit than what anyone sees or hears about me. ⁷ I was given a thorn in my body because of the outstanding revelations I’ve received so that I wouldn’t be conceited. It’s a messenger from Satan sent to torment me so that I wouldn’t be conceited.

⁸ I pleaded with the Lord three times for it to leave me alone. ⁹ He said to me, “My grace is enough for you, because power is made perfect in weakness.” So I’ll gladly spend my time bragging about my weaknesses so that Christ’s power can rest on me. ¹⁰ Therefore, I’m all right with weaknesses, insults, disasters, harassments, and stressful situations for the sake of Christ, because when I’m weak, then I’m strong. (CEB)

This passage from Paul was written during his third missionary joruney while he was in Macedonia. You can learn more about that in Acts 20: 1-3. This was after he had written 1 Corinthians from Ephesus and had gone through a difficult and emotionally charged period in his relationship with the Corinthian Church.

We read earlier in 2 Corinthians 2:1, that he had experienced some type of “painful visit” and a “severe letter” that urged repentance and reconciliation. By the time of this letter, things were starting to mend, but Paul still neded to defend his apostolic authority against critics who challenged his legitimacy and mocked his suffering and humility.

In other words, life and ministry wasn’t exactly easy for Paul. In this passage, Paul talks about a thorn in his side, but while we don’t know exactly what that is, and there is of course a lot of speculation, it doesn’t matter.

There is something sent from The Evil One that is tempting him or tormenting him.

As a pastor I often get asked the question, “Why would bad things happen to good people?” Or “How could a loving God allow these thigns to happen?” The reality is, Evil things do not come from God. Evil things come from the evil one. And when they come, there are really only two responses we can give:

(1. To Trust God

(2. Deny God

You may be able to come up with something else, but I would say you are wrong, because you either trust God fully…or you do not. There’s not even a fence to sit on. You’re either in the room with God…or you’re not.

The reality is, I don’t have all the answers. But the beauty is…I don’t have to because there is someone who does.

I don’t know why I have this thorn in my side…rather…this lump in my neck, but I do know one thing: because of the jackwagon known as Satan and Evil in this world, I have a thorn in my neck, because of this cancer I have become closer to God in my faith than I have ever been before. I have seen God moving in mighty ways, both in my life and in the community I live.

I do know that God did not give me this thorn. I know it came from the Devil because God has been moving in these mighty ways, and he doesn’t like it.

Well, as the old children song goes, “If the Devil doesn’t like it, he can sit on a tack.”

To give you a bit of my mentality on this…One of my Emmaus friends posted a comment on my Facebook yesterday. My post said, “Time to Kick Cancer to the Curb.” There was something else I wanted to say, but the Spirit held my tongue.

His response was “Deguello. Black Flag. No Prisoners.”

If you know your Texas History, during the War for Texan Independence, the Mexican army, when they would decide to not give quarter to any priosners, they would raise a red “no quarter” flag and play a song called “El Deüello” which leiterally meant “to cut the throat.” This meant that no mercy would be shown to the enemy.

During the early morning of March 6, 1836, A General Santa Anna prepared his final assault on the Aleman, Mexican Army buglers played El Degüello to signal that no prisoners would be taken after the battle was over.

As an aside, one of my favorite moments in the more recent version of The Alamo, with Billy Bob Thornton as Davy Crocket, is when the Mexican Army played the haunting song BBT’s Crocket climbed up one of the towers with his fiddle and played a melodic part that went harmonized beuatifully.

After the tune was over, on this particular night, while there would be gun fire ringing throughout the battlefield, the Mexican Army did not immediately bombard the Mission, and Crocket stands up and says, “It’s amazing what a little harmony will do.”

Anyway…

The reason I bring that up is becasue in my response to my friends call to take no prisoners when it comes to cancer, my historically nerdy brain went to the response Lt. Col. Travis made when the Mexican army initially demanded surrender.

“The enemy has demanded surrender at discretion, otherwise the garrison are to be put to the sword, if the fort is taken - I have answered the demand with a cannon shot, and our flag still waves proudly from the walls - I surrender or retreat.”

OOH! That makes my Texan Blood boil!

Then I had a thought…I should consult Chat GPT on making something for me. And this is what it came up with!

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I think I have another shirt idea!

The Color of the Ribbon for Lymphoma is this lime green. In the mid 1990’s, a group of survivors and advocates began seeking a distinct color to represent their cause. After considering various shades, they settled on lime green, which was seen as a bold, vibrant, color that represented the energy and positivty to face the disease.

While the phrase “Come and Take It” is a call back to the Texaians defense of Gonzales when the Mexican army arrived to reclaim a cannon that was gifted to them, in this case…I really want them to come and Take it!

So, in my mind at least, it has double meaning. It suggests the Texan strength and determination, but also my desire for this “thorn” to be taken from my body. May not work for everyone…but it works for me!

At the end of the day, I don’t know how this will all shake out. But what I do know is that God is working in me, he has me right where he wants me, fully reliant on him. So, we’ll just go with that and raise the flag.

Treatment Update

I began my first treatment yesterday. I had the opportunity to meet the Nurse Practitioner before my treatment yesterday. His name is Leighton, and would you believe it, God saw fit that I would have an Aggie NP! God is good, even in the small things.

I got to the office about 10:30, and they took me right back to begin blood work. I learned a valuable lesson yesterday morning: Never tell the phelbotomist they did a good job last time. I think my blood vessles heard that, then they couldn’t find any. They had to stick me once in both arms, and then resolved to get my hand. This came into play later when the nurse poked me in my right arm, only to dig around a bit…then in my forearm. This was ridiciously painful…but I managed. Finally, she got me in my left arm, and it lasted for the whole treatment.

Needless to say, I will be having a port put in this Friday morning (April 25). That was always the plan, I just couldn’t get on the schedule in time for my first round of treatments.

Once we got everything set, they started pumping me with Fluids (saline), a steroid, and then an anti nausea med.

Once all that was gone, They started with my Top-Shelf Cocktails. Top-Shelf, as in the most expensive. They even call the pharmacist in the back their “mixologist.” I’ll be honest, I was kind of hoping for a little more flavorful cocktails, but beggers can’t be choosers.

First was the Doxorubicine.

This medicine works by inseting itself into DNA stangs and blocks the enzime needed to unwide DNA for replication, it creates free radicals that damange DNA and cell membrains. It directly kills rapidly dividing cancer cells by wrecking their DNA. The colloquial term for this chem is called “The Red Devil.” It literally looks like cool-aid (not a sponsor). This is the one that can cause Loss of Hair, nuropathy, and nausea. (Sounds delightful, doesn’t it?)

As an aside, the Nurse who had to push it in to my veins stated that her more Religous patients, don’t like to call it that, so we’re gonna go with “the blood of Jesus.”

Next was Dacarbazine.

This chemo addls alkyl groups to DNA, which dmages it and triggers cell death. It is a seek and destroy chemical that causes these little…jerks…to die.

Someone shared with me a T-Shirt that reads, “chemo would be so much more awesome if cancer screamed while you destroy it.” That’s a shirt I would buy.

Next was “vinblastine.”

This one distrupts microtubles, which are a part of the cell’s internal skelton. Blocking these microtubles stops the sells from splitting and replicating. If the cell can’t divive it dies off.

The final one is the immunotherapy drug called “Nivolumab (Nivo)”

Nivo is a PD-1 checkpoint inhibitor.

The way this Immunotherapy works is by blocking the PD-1 Recepter on T-Cells. Classic Hodgkins Lumphoma often overexpresses PD-L1, which tell syour immune cells to “ignore” the cancer. Nivo removes that “invisibility cloak” and recruits your immune system to recognize and destory the cancer.

This one blows my mind. How cool is the human body? I think of it like that scene in Avengers: Endgame where the coalition of all the different tribes and groups of people assemble to take out the armies of aliens led by Thanos.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about…that’s ok.

But the part I think about is when Captain America shouts out…

”AVENGERS….ASSEMBLE.” Then the battle is on!

So, how am I feeling? Well, right now, I feel ok. I’m tired. A little more so than usual. In fact, my body is starting to tell me I need a nap, so I’m gonna listen here in a minute. For the most part, I felt tired from the long day yesterday. We were at the Oncologist office from 10:30 till about 3:30 yesterday. So it was a long day. But farily uneventful. Which is nice.

Everyone I've talked to, including the Doctors, say days 2 - 4 are often the days you feel the worst on these meds, but mostly its fatigue and nausea, but I have meds to help with the nausea, and a prescription for naps as needed.

This week, please be in prayer with me for my Nurse Practitioner, Leighton, and a friend of mine on my CHL Support group named Malajah. She begins her treatments today.

Also, be in prayer for my mom, Lynn. She just couldn’t let me have this attention all to myself. She will begin treatments for her Chrons disease, which has seemingly returned.

Finally, be in prayer for all of those who are struggling and fighting the battle against Cancer. The longer I’m involved in this, the more I see how many are fighting…young and old. My eyes have been opened to a lot lately, and I have learned a TON about how the body works and what the thorn does to people.

And as always,
Stay Hungry for God, my friends,
Pastor Bryan

Then there is Lent, which culminates in Holy Week, and ultimately leads to Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter (Resurrection) Sunday.

For reference, just in case you happen to read my blog and don’t know what any of that means, Maundy Thursday is the day we celebrate the LORD’s Supper (a.k.a., the Last Supper, Communion, or the Eucharist). The Word Maundy comes from the Latin, Mandatum, which means mandate, where Jesus gave his disciples a new commandment.

“A New command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35, NIV)

Good Friday, then, is he day we recognize the ultimate sacrifice Jesus paid for us on the Cross, where he bore the weight of the world’s sins, defeating it’s power over our lives, if only we accept him.

“God made hiom who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” (2 Corinthians 5:21, NIV)

Then, on Easter Sunday, we celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus, where he not only was not found to be in the tomb, but interacted with his disciples and was seen by hundreds. (Spoiler Alert…that’s what I’m talking about this Sunday).

This eight day period of time from Palm Sunday through Easter Sunday is like a Marathon for Pastors. A busy Palm Sunday, followed by a service on Thursday, Friday, and then the excitement of Easter Sunday…I’ll just let this comic speak for itself:

This year, there’s a little bit of some added stress, as I was waiting for results from my first PET Scan of this joruney I’m on.

If you don’t remember, I was supposed to have my PET Scan on Tuesday of last week, but it didn’t happen. If you want to go back and read that Post, you can just click HERE. So, instead of hearing my staging last week, I had to wait almost a full week past when I was expecting it. You can say, I have become accustomed to this idea of waiting. That doesn’t mean I have to like it…but I’m at least getting some good practice at it.

So, through the whole weekend, I waited and waited. Good thing I was busy with the Llano VFD Fish Fry and Sunday morning stuff.

But on Sunday evening, I had an experience that lifted me through the next 24 hours, as I waited on results.

The last three weekends, I went with Miranda and some friends to see The Chosen: Last Supper. This is season 5 of the planned 7 season series about Jesus and his disciples. For some this series is controversial, but for me, it has brought about conversation, prayer, and thoughts about Jesus and the disciples that bring the Scriptures to life.

To be fair, it is not meant to BE Scripture, but to suppliment and support, as well as encourage others to go back to the Bible to find out more. But I digress…

This last weekend, as I was waiting for results, something hit me as we were watching Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. As he was in total anguish over the prospect of being crucified for the sins of the world, you could see the absolute fear, sadness, and pain it was causing him.

As he asked the Father to Remove this cup from him, he came to a point where he finally said, “Not my will, but yours.”

Then he said it. He said something that hit me like a ton of bricks. He said the words, “I trust you.”

Maybe I’ll write more about The Chosen some other time, but I need to share something with you. When I write in my prayer journal, I often “Sign off” my prayers, not by saying “Amen,” but by saying “I Trust You.”

It was as if in the middle of an artistic rendition of the Passion of Jesus I heard God speak to me through three simple words spoken by the man portraying Jesus on the screen.

“I TRUST YOU.”

Ok, God. I get it. If Jesus, who knew what was coming, knew the pain that was about to take place, and knew that he was going to literally go through hell in the next 48 hours, if he could say Not my Will, but Yours, another way of saying I TRUST YOU, then I can.

So, my hope for you as you read this is that you can come to a place where you can just trust God. You may not understand why things are happening the way they are happening in your life. You may not understand why you have cancer, or why your loved one passed away, or what tradgey has struck in your life. But what I do know is that you can TRUST God. And even in the darkness, even when there is hardship, and suffering, you can have joy.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (James 1:2-4, ESV)

So…can you say the words “I Trust You?”

Health Update

You may be wondering the outcome of my Scans. Well, I will start off by saying I still have cancer. But…it’s just in my neck!

The Scans showed that the only location of cancer in my body is where we found it under the left side of my neck. Strangley enough, the PET/CT scan also showed that I have sinusitis (hello HillCountry Spring), Inflamation in my esophagus due to reflux, and arthritis in my back (hello 40!).

So, my offical diagnosis is Stage IIb unfavorable Classic Hodgkins Lymphoma. The word “unfavorable” here indicates that there is a potential for recurrance, but even so it is still curable. We’ll just have to surveil a little more and a little longer.

The treatment will entail 4 cycles of treatments. Each cycle equates to about a month of treatments. Starting Tuesday April 22, I will have treatments every two weeks for about 4 months, and the treatments with bloodwork and such will last about 3-4 hours.

I will be given a Four Drug cocktail (hope there’s a happy hour) including the following drugs:

Doxorubicin
Vinblastine
Dacarbazine
Nivolumab (Immunotherapy: Monoclonal Antibodies)

The colloquial name for this treatment is Nivo-ADV. Not 100% sure why…but that’s what it is in the lingo for us Lymphomies.

I will also have a port put in to help administer the medications, and after the 4th treatment (after we come back from Costa Rica), I will have another PET Scan to check on the progress.

My doctor stated that if things are looking really good, we may even shorten the length of the Chemo Treatments. There is also a possibility of some radiation, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

Prayer Needs

I have joined a Facebook Support Group recently, and I posted my results yesterday. But in that, I also asked for prayer requests, because I believe the key to healing is not only a good attitude and good doctors, but reliance on God (TRUST) and prayer.

So, I ask that you continue to pray for my oncologist, Dr. Rieber, the NP Leighton who will be administering my first round of chemo, and the following names:
Alicia
Amy
Anne
Justin
Tammie

Thank you for joining me on this journey.

And remember,
Stay Hungry for God, My friends.
Pastor Bryan

“The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”

~Robert Burns

This morning I woke up at 5:30, got ready for the day, and got on the road by 6:15. My friend, David, offered to ride down with me to Kerrville, TX where I was supposed to have my first PET/CT scan. We drove all the way down there, and I did it without any Caffeine for at least a 24 hour period. It was really more than that because I had a glass of Sweet Tea/Lemonade about 7:00 the night before.

I did great all day yesterday, only complaining a little. (Look at how humble I am!)

I even ate a high protein dinner with veggies, because I was following written directions. But I failed to do one thing: follow up with a phone call to the Oncologist Office. You see, I hadn’t heard anything since Wednesday last week, believing all along that I would just need to follow the written instructions and show up 15 minutes early for my appointment.

As you can probably already tell, I ended up NOT having my PET scan today as there was a scheduling mistake. The Radiology Tech who does the scans was very kind and sincerely sorry for the mix up and worked to get me in on Friday, so it will happen this week. Just a couple days later.

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But my Substack today is more so about sanctification than a mistake. Here’s what I mean.

I have learned a lot over the last few weeks. I’ve learned a lot about the human body, about cancer, specifically Hodgkins Disease, and I have learned a lot about the medical community. I have learned that none of us are immune to the brokenness of this world, including cancer, and that doctors, nurses, and schedules are people and make mistakes.

I have also learned something about myself:

I am different than I once was.

If you know anything about me, or have been around me any length of time, you will know (because I’ve probably told you) that I have often struggled with anxiety and depression. It comes and goes. Some days it has been better than others. Other days in the past, I would find myself not even wanting to get out of bed. Over the last few years, I believe God has healed me of that, at least the incapacitating anxiety and depression, but there are still days when I feel its effects.

But in the last month or so, after the “pre-diagnosis” (if you will) of cancer, I have had a peace that passes all understanding. Not only that, but things that at one time would have caused me grief, anxiety, and/or even anger…just don’t anymore.

Not that long ago, I would have been very upset because I had to fast from carbs and caffeine all day, and wake up early to drive over an hour to an appointment that didn’t really exist.

I would have been cordial to the lady who had the distinct honor of telling me that I didn’t have an appointment, and even the one who failed to push send on the appointment roster, but I would have held anger and frustration in my heart long after I was gone.

But as we were driving away from my non-existent appointment, I told David, “I think I’m broken.” “There’s something wrong with me.”

Of course, if you know David and the kind of friend he is, he leaned back in his chair and said, “tell me more.” ( I can always count on snide comment from the peanut gallery).

My comment, of course, was a bit “tongue-in-cheek,” but it dawned on me that something is different. Something is not as it once was.

I want to be very clear, while I have spent a lot of time learning and growing, it is God who has brought me to this place of peace. The peace does not come from me. It can only come from outside of me.

Paul writes in Galatians 6:14

But as for me, God forbid that I should boast about anything except for the cross of our LORD Jesus Christ. The world has been crucified to me through him, and I have been crucified to the world. (CEB)

So for now, there is no real update. Nothing has changed in our timeline really, other than just having to wait a couple more days for a PET scan. I also found out that I don’t have to “fast” as much as I thought. Still have to some, but I can at least have coffee the day before.

PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!

In the meantime, I ask that you pray for the Radiology Tech I met with this morning. I’ll leave her name out of this, but God knows it. She has to care for people who are fearful, not only of the results of scans, but also for those who are claustrophobic (like me!). Pray for her and the Radiologists who read the scans.

May you be blessed in knowing that if God could take a sinner like me and make me better today than I was yesterday, then he can do the same for you!

Stay Hungry for God, My Friends!
Pastor Bryan

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“Don’t anticipate…participate.”

During a Walk Weekend, the Pilgrims (those who haven’t been on a walk) and the team, are not allowed to wear watches, carry their phones, or even know what time it is. The idea behind that is because if you can know what time it is, then you can be thinking about what you might be doing during that time as opposed to really leaning in to what God is trying to say to you.

A Walk experience is not for everyone, and that’s ok. But it does have some really great qualities and some really good moments with the Lord.

Over the last few weeks I’ve thought a lot about waiting. By the time we got to last Tuesday when we got the official word that we are going to be traveling this road call “Hodgkin’s Lymphoma,” we had already done a lot of waiting. Waiting on Blood Tests, waiting on CT scan results. Waiting for the ENT doc for a consultation, then a Needle Biopsy and the results of that.

Then, when that came back, we had to wait for a surgery date.; then to get the drain out, then for the pathology…and so on.

Once the pathology report finally came back, I had to wait for an appointment with my oncologist. Then when we got there 30 minutes early like you’re supposed to for the appointment, we had to wait, then see the nurse, wait, then see the doctor, wait, then get blood work done…and now we wait for a PET Scan and the results of that.

See where I’m going with this?

I guess I should have been more specific when I asked God to give me patience.

Don’t anticipate…participate.

I’ve thought a lot about waiting. A lot about patience. A lot about peace that could not come from anywhere inside of me. A peace that passes all understanding; one that could only come from the LORD.

Jesus says in Matthew 6: 25-27:

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or your about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Then a little further down in verses 33-34

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

In all the waiting, do you want to know what I’ve found?

Jesus.

I’ve always known about Jesus, and I had given my life to Christ a long time ago, but sometimes (even as a pastor) we lose sight of Jesus. Sometimes, like Peter getting out of the boat to walk on the water with Jesus, we take our eyes off him, and then we start so sink.

But do you know what happens when you find yourself crying out to God to save you from the storm and the waves?

Jesus reaches down to your lowest point and picks you up.

He puts someone in your path that points you back to him. He gives you an Oncologist who will take the time…vital time she could be using on other, more sick patients, to pray with you and comfort you in your first visit. Who will look you right in the eye and tell you, “we’re going to cure you of this.”

(Yes… that was really said).

He figures out a way to get you the last available PET Scan appointment so that you don’t have to wait two weeks to get that done. (That’s happening now on April 8!)

And he has people who love you just randomly show up at your appointment and wait in the waiting room just to let you know they were praying for you the whole time during your visit.

(Yes…that also happened).

God.
Is.
Good.

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What do we know?

Well, right now, we don’t know much more than we knew last week. Over the last couple of weeks, I have learned a lot about Classic Hodgkin’s Lymphoma cHL. However, it was good to hear it directly from the expert today.

I have what is called Mixed Cellularity, which is the “Classic” type of HL.

(I always knew I was classic, but it’s nice to finally have that affirmed).

As far as the Stage, we do not know at this time. This is why we will be getting a PET scan on Tuesday. My Prayer Warrior Doctor has us set up to do a bone marrow biopsy (sounds fun…like the needle biopsy was). However, the way we understood it is if the PET scan shows the lymphoma is localized to the neck, then there may not be a need for that. Either way, it’s set up and ready to go.

When it comes to the treatment, it all depends on the stage.

If it is Stg. I, there is a possibility that it may just involve some radiation, or a couple of cycles of Chemo and Radiation.

If we are at Stg. II, it will be the 4 drug cocktail called in the oncology world: “ABVD.” These four drugs work to put the cancer cells in their place.

If we are at a Stg. III or IV, there is another 4 drug cocktail with a little more oomph behind it.

Staging will also decide if radiation is needed elsewhere and the length of treatment, defined by how many two-week cycles I will need.

We also know that our doctor is a rock star. As I mentioned earlier, she asked if she could pray for us while we were in the office, and she was very thorough, and a calming presence.

She is also humble. The Surgeon who did the excision told me this morning while he was pulling my stitches out that she was not just a Doctor at MD Anderson, but the head of the department that deals with HL. In her words there was no mention of that, only that she lived in Houston for 20 years. Oh…and she also told me that she herself had HL 24 years ago and has been cured and cancer free since the end of her treatments. Nothing like a little personal experience…right?

We also know that my wife is a rock star. She’s there for everything, and knows how to keep my head attached to my neck. I would be lost without her.

At the end of the day, I also know who holds the future. This is the most important.

If you’ve read this far, then congratulations. I’m proud of you. But if you’ve read this far, my hope is that you will continue to walk with me on this journey, not to give me glory or accolades, but to give God glory for everything he is doing through me, with me, and even in spite of me.

I also ask that you pray for Dr. Reiber, my Oncologist. Maybe you’ll want to pray for her because she is my doctor. That’s entirely appropriate. But more importantly, pray for her as she sees so many come through her office who are MUCH worse than I am, and has a very hard job. Pray that she continue to be an instrument of God’s peace for those who seek her counsel, and that she continue to be the healing hands of Christ for so many.

Also, pray that God show me how he is going to use me on this journey to bring peace to others. I even had a chance run in with someone I know who is going through a tough time and I was able to give peace because of my experience today. Who knows who else I’ll meet. Maybe I’ll take some little Jesus’ with me when I start my treatments.

And remember when you start worrying about your tomorrow:
Don’t anticipate…participate!

Stay Hungry for God, My Friends
Pastor Bryan

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I have a friend of mine who told me (a couple of times) a statement that made me both laugh and cringe: “Welcome to 40, your random ailment will be assigned to you in short order.”

The Thursday after I turned 40, 4 days to be exact, I woke up to a pain in my neck. Literally. I had a lymph node become inflamed and very sore on the back of my neck. This prompted a conversation with my Primary Care Physician and a course of antibiotics to see if we were dealing with an infection.

After that, the swollen lymph node diminished greatly, but there was something else underneath my jaw line. A lump that wasn’t going away.

This began a crazy two month period. Blood Tests, CT Scans, and a needle biopsy. I give an FNA a Yelp Score of 1 out of 5…do not recommend.

After the Biopsy came back with “not enough information” according to the ENT Doc I was referred to, the decision was made to do a excision, where they were going to take out the over functioning lymph node and anything else they found suspect. So, on March 18 I got to have the best nap I’ve had in a long time. During that nap, I had three lymph nodes removed and a drain put in.

Allow me to also say that if there were negative points on reviews, the drain is much worse than the FNA, and I would give it a -5 out of +5.

At my appointment on March 25, they removed the drain (praise the Lord), told me I was going to have to come back in a week to remove the stitches from the incision site, and then told me that I have a confirmed case of Classic Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

I am now being referred to an oncologist in Fredericksburg, TX and have officially begun my journey with Cancer.

How do I feel about this?

Well…

I mean…

Welcome to 40?

Honestly, I’m not really sure how I feel about all of it. At points I feel terrified. At points I feel secure in my faith and in my ultimate destination. Other times I’m confused and ask questions like, “how did this happen?” “What caused it?” “Did I drink one to many Dr Peppers or have one to many sweet-n-lows?”

Then there are times when, as I have through these whole two months, where the presence of God is so thick that I cannot help but to give him praise.

If you’ve known me for any length of time, you know I love to write. Over the last few months, I haven’t had all that much time to write. But I guess now is as good a time as any to restart. It always helps for me to write down my thoughts. So, for a little while anyway, I’ll write about this journey I’m on; it’s hills and valleys, its stops and starts, moments of fear and peace, love and courage, and even a few shout outs along the way.

Right now, where I’m leaving this entry is that I am thankful for the Doctors I have in my life.

I serve a Church with multiple doctors, and even a pharmacist! My PCP is a phenomenal doctor and a good calming presence who I can reach out to any time and ask questions, and he will answer them…honestly. I also have another Doctor in my church who just seems to randomly know when to show up in my office and come walk me off a ledge of fear. (Yes…that really happened).

I close with this quote from J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings and A Scripture.

“The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”

~Haldir to Merry

More important, I hope you will continue to walk along with me on this journey, whether out of curiosity, for your own hope, or even because you just want to, and that you read these words from the Gospel of Luke 5:20

“When Jesus saw their faith, he said ‘Friend, your sins are forgiven you.’”

It was the faith of the friends who brought the man to Jesus that saved him and healed him.

I cannot do this alone…but I have joy and hope knowing that I don’t have to.

So…

Here goes something…

Stay Hungry for God, My Friends!
Pastor Bryan

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As I write today’s Substack posting, I am sitting in one of my favorite places in Estes Park, CO called Inkwell and Brew.

Inkwell is a local coffee shop that also doubles as a store that sells parchments, pens, and journals. It’s a neat store, but the coffee is good, and there is a nice space where I can sip on my Chai Latte (my drink of choice for today), read some scripture, write in my journal (already done), and now spend some time typing my public thoughts in black & white.

I won’t lie, I love a good coffee shop. One of my favorite places in Llano just so happens to be Fuel Coffee House. I love being able to go in there and see people, have conversations, and ocassionally be able to write or work in a place other than my office.

There is just something about it. Maybe there just are some things about that Hipster Life that are appealing…although not all of it.

If you’ve known me at all for the last 9 years, you will know that around this time of year I make my yearly pilgrimiage to the mountains of Colorado. The first time I came here, there were only 15 of us, now there are almost 50. Men from all over the country, mostly from Texas, come to spend a week in the Rocky Mountains to fish, golf, disc-golf (my personal favorite), and spend time hiking in the Rocky Mountain National Park (not my personal favorite).

But the true purpose of coming here is what happens in the evenings. There are only two planned activites during the day.

(1. Dinner.

(2. Worship.

Everything else is unstructured, which for some is the hardest part of the whole trip.

Dinner is meant to be a time where we all gather back together from the day and enjoy the fellowship of the whole group. Worship is where we are entirely focused on God and what the Spirit is doing among us.

Last night, we had our first worship experience, and God is already moving amongst us.

Thin Spaces

In Irish mythology, there was a concept known as Thin Spaces. The idea behind a thin space is that there are places on earth where the veil between what we can see and the spiritual realm is very thin. In those places, if you listen closely enough, or even strain to look, you can experience a piece of the supernatural.

This mythology, which was passed down from the ancient Irish peoples, translated into the faith practices and beliefs of the Irish Monastic Traditions. However this is not just some abstract theolgical premise, but because of personal experiences, I can confidently share it is truth.

Estes Park Colorado, specifically the YMCA of the Rockies, is one such place. Year after year, I have come on this retreat and I have experienced the presence of God and the presence of the heavenly realm. In the lines of one of my favorite Hymns, here in the Rockies:

Surely the Presence of the Lord is in this place.
I can feel his mighty power, and his grace.
I can hear the brush of angels wings.
I see Glory on each face.
Surely the Presence of the Lord is in this place.

Yearly Theme

This year, I had the opportunity to bring a friend and brother with me from Llano; my buddy David.

David is the Facilities Manager at our church, and a Fire Fighter I go to battle with on the Llano V.F.D. But more than that, he is a friend. Now, I won’t go too much more into that because I know he’s probably going to read this, and then I’m gonna get blasted for being to mushy-gushy, but on our way up here, David and I had some great conversations. When you’re in the car with someone for 12+ hours, you don’t have much else to do but to pass the time by talking.

Before we left Llano though, David brought up the possibility of us making a stop at the National Fallen Fire Fighters Memorial in Colorado Springs. Since we were coming up a day early, Colorado Springs made a great place to stop and rest, and so we did just that.

Below are some of the pictures from that peaceful and solemn place.

As we made our way around the monument looking for the name of a couple of his Fire Brothers who had passed away in the last couple of years, a thought had crept into my mind: “I’m just happy to be here.”

Then, during a conversation I was having with David, those words, “I’m just happy to be here” came out again. And when we finally arrived in Estes Park, again, I just couldn’t stop thinking about how (you guessed it), “I’m just happy to be here.”

Over the last few years, as I have processed my trips here, there seems to be a theme every year. The ones I remember most really go back to our trip in 2020.

That particular year, the theme was “I can’t beleive we’re here.” That was the year, of course, when COVID caused all kinds of concerns. First, we weren’t even sure we were going to be able to come, then we had to wear those stupid masks on the airplanes, and when we got here stores were closed, and they started this dumb “Timed Entry” stuff in order to get into the RMNP. They still do that, by the way…and I still think it’s dumb.

I just remember thinking…wow…we made it! I can’t beleive were here.

2021 was a year where I was going through some personal stuff. There were some struggles in my life that I was having to deal with, and my whole time up here was processing all of that and working through it with my brothers. That year, the theme was Healing.

2022 was a year I got to bring my dad to the mountains. That whole year, the theme was Spending time with Dad.

Last year was a weird year. There were some things going on outside of my control, and it was the first year in many years that I came by myself. Even the person I was planning to come with had to change the timing of his arrival, so we weren’t even renting a car together.

Last year, I felt alone. Weird…I know…

I felt alone in a group of 45 guys, many of whom have come every year. I spent a lot of time driving around by myself, shopping for gifts for the kids by myself, and in the coffee shop pondering all the things that were going on in my life.

But by the end of the week, I came to a realization that I was never alone. That God was with me the whole time and that I needed that time alone with God to recharge and renew.

2023’s theme was Alone Time With God.

As I sit here in the mountains, with my Chai Latte on its last sips, I’m just happy to be here.

My prayer for you, my faithful reader, is that you find happiness in the Lord. True Joy of having breath in your lungs and a savior who loves you. Who knows what next year will bring…or next week…or even tomorrow. But in the meantime, I hope You’re just happy to be here too.

Stay Hungry for God My Friends,
Pastor Bryan

Here in just over a week, I’ll be spending some time in Colorado on a Sabbath Retreat. One of my goals is to outline some writings and plan out some potential series for this fall season. I hope to be better and hope to get back into a routine of writing.

In the meantime, I wanted to share something that happened in our Little Llano Town this past weekend. But first, a little back story.

Before I arrived in Llano in 2020, the Lutie’s Place had a tradition of meeting every first Sunday of the month with one service. If you aren’t aware, traditionally the people called Methodist have observed communion on the first Sunday of the month. While John Wesley believed in what he called “A Duty of Constant Communion.” John called Holy Communion “The Grand Channel of God’s Grace.”

His brother, Charles, who wrote hundreds of hymns, once wrote:

“This is the richest legacy
Thou hast on man bestowed,
Here chiefly, Lord, we feed on thee,
And drink thy precious blood.”

Perhaps sometime, I’ll go further in-depth on our theology of communion, but at this time, I just merely want to point out that the Church in Llano would gather once a month in one service to partake together.

However, through Covid and all the “Social Distancing” (NEVER AGAIN), traditions like the Single Service Sunday went by the wayside, and when we all returned, we returned to having communion in our two separate services.

A couple of months ago, in one of our Church Council meetings, I was asked if we could compromize on the tradition and perhaps do the occasional Single Service Sundays, and we landed on the 5th Sunday idea. This would mean that four times per year, we would be gathering together in one service and celebrate what God was doing in our midst.

This past weekend was the first of, I hope, many Sundays we are calling 5th Sunday Celebrations.

Over the last month, with the help of Rob, our Organist/Pianist for the 11:00 traditional service, and Jenny our worship leader for the 9:00 service, we created a service outline that put a heavy emphasis on worship. All I can say is: God showed up!

I’ll say it kinda made me feel like this picture from the Llano Bridge does:

It was as if the sun rose right in the sanctuary.

After the sermon, I requested that Rob put together a special song to help us prepare for communion. His original intent was to create a mash up of a couple of songs, specifically “I feel Heaven in this Place” and “Surely the Presence.” But as he began to play, worship broke out and the Spirit of God was so thick in that sanctuary that it was almost too much. Tears began to flow. Praises were sung. Hearts were poured out. The Brush of Angels Wings were heard. It was truly a Holy Moment.

There is an old Celtic belief that there are what are called “Thin Places” on the earth. These places are where the veil between heaven and earth are so “thin” it’s as if you can get a glimpse of the other side.

We could truly feel heaven in that place.

People are still talking about it. People are sharing the video from the stream on our YouTube Channel. While I’m glad for this, I just don’t think YouTube does the moment justice…but it at least gives you a glimpse.

My brothers and sisters, God is moving. There are so many things in the world that give me cause to begin to worry, but then I experience a moment like this and my worry and anxiety all seem to melt away.

My prayer is that this type of experience becomes the norm!

As you go through this week, my hope is you will know that the Spirit of God is moving….not just in the Methodist Church…but in our Churches in Llano. Even better, not just in Llano, but in the Churches of our Covenant Area, our Conference, and in the Global Methodist Church and many other denominations around the world.

Expect God to Move.

Stay Hungry For God, My Friends.
Pastor Bryan

I will say the video took me for a loop.

As a self-proclaimed techie, I LOVE the idea of ChatGPT. There are so many practical uses and even some impractical fun things about GPTs. (In case you’re wondering GPT stsands for “Generative Pre-Trained Transformer.” Specifucally, ChatGPT is a type of Artifical Intelligence model used for natural language processing tasks. On the ChatGPT model, you can ask it any question, and it will answer it conversationally. As it has been upgraded, I have even seen videos where it will conversationally tutor students with math problems.

Really fascinating stuff.

However, there are some concerns with GPTs that I think are certainly worth thinking about, watching for, and preparing for. But that’s a topic for another time.

Today’s Substack is specifically about a couple of specific scripture verses that came to my mind when I was watching the video.

John 10: 14; 27-28

¹⁴ I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me,

²⁷ My sheep hear my voice. I know them, and they follow me. ²⁸ I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one will snatch them out of my hand.

As I was watching the video, it became very apparent to me how easy it is to make things sounds like Scripture even when they aren’t, and you don’t even have to put “thees, thous, and thines,” in.

In a world where there is little-to-no objective truth, we don’t really need AI adding to the confusion. We need men and women who spend time in the Scriptures, studying them, meditating on them, memorizing them, and teaching them to our children and youth. It is becoming increasignly difficult to know what is real and what is not.

The truth is we need to spend time with the Good Shepherd, so we can always distinguish His voice over all others.

Stay Hungry for God, My Friends.
Pastor Bryan

PS, This image below was AI Generated using ChatGPT.

Jesus didn’t come, suffer, and die to make good people bad, he did all this to make dead people come alive.

Along the same lines, a couple of weeks ago in church, I finally put on my big boy preacher pants and make a comment from the pulpit that I hesitated greatly from saying for too long. It was a comment that I had heard from the President Pro Tempore of the Mid-Texas Conference a number of times. In fact, when I considered making the comment in a sermon, I jokingly asked her for a new appointment to be prepared just in case I got run out of town.

The claim is this: In the Gospel of Jesus Christ, there is no room for Pew Potatoes.

In other words, there is so much about the Gospel that does not allow for us to just be people who come to church on Sunday, sing songs, listen to a pastor preach, and go late to our favorite restaurant for lunch because the preacher talked too much. The very nature of the Gospel is action…it is not passive but active.

But then something else happened. I had an enlightening conversation with one of my parishioners named Mrs. Barbara

Mrs. Barbara set an appointment to come visit with me about a couple of questions she had about some of the things she had been thinking about, researching, and questioning. Nothing about her faith, just some pastoral guidance on a range of topics.

But at one point, the conversation shifted and she asked me how she could help me. She has a calling to serve, which I greatly thank God for moving in her life to ask such a question. It really is a moment that a pastor dreams of and is thankful for when it happens.

But she made a comment that, very similarly to the “death to life” comment will be with me forever.

When talking about ways to serve, she said: “The church really comes a live for dead people.”

The implication in our conversation with some follow up questions were that so often when tragedy strikes, the church really steps up. I can think of a couple of instances lately here in Llano specifically where this is the case.

Now, to be fair, there was no implication that this is bad. In fact, when there is tragedy, it is the church where I hope people will turn because they know they will receive love, support, and a Gospel of hope.

However, when it comes to the second half of the statement, it begs the question: how can we as a church come alive for people who are alive and walking in Christ? How can we step up for our children? How can we step up for our adults? How can we serve one another when there isn’t tragedy, but just every day life?

I don’t know about you, but I want to be a part of a church that holds on to the Gospel so much that we get just as involved and just as energized when everything is going good as we do when things are tragic.

Something to think about…

Stay Hungry for God, My Friends.
Pastor Bryan

Context, Context, Context.

He began that first day of class by telling us that when it comes to studying scripture, we must take everything in context.

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Now, if you’re not familiar with the word exegesis1, allow me to explain. As we study scripture, there are two ways: One is right…the other is wrong. While there is a little bit of tongue-in-cheek there, the truth is when we read Scripture, our goal is to be informed by the Scripture not the other way around. It is very easy for us to make Scripture say what we want it to say, which is what is called eisegesis2. Here’s an example:

“Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, in singleness of heart, as you obey Christ; not only while being watched, and in order to please them, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. Render service with enthusiasm, as to the LORD and not to men and women, knowing that whatever good we do, we will receive the same again from the LORD, whether we are slaves or free.”

Now, if you read that passage out of context, it would almost seem as though Paul is saying that slavery is acceptable. Althougth there is a lot of debate as to what type of slavery Paul is talking about here, the reality is it doesn’t matter. Paul clearly says, “Slaves, obey your earthly masters…”

This passage has been used to promote, support, and excuse slavery, but this could not be farther from the truth Paul is writing about here. The reality of our world is that slavery exists. It is not a necessary evil, it is just plainly evil. No man, woman, or child should ever be a slave, but because of the brokenness of this world, slavery exists.

In this passage, Paul was talking about something very specific. He was recognizing that within the people and culture of Ephesians, a form of slavery existed, and Paul used that reality to talk about how even though slavery is not a part of God’s will, that because it does it exist, if you find yourself in that situation, you should obey your master as if you are obeying Christ.

Just like a little earlier in the same letter, Paul says “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as you are to the LORD.”

Paul is not saying that the wife is supposed to be a doormat; nor is the husband supposed to treat her lesser than a person, because not long after that, Paul says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her…”

Paul, of course, is stating here that Jesus gave up his life for the Church, that he sacrificed himself on the cross for his bride known as the Church.

You see, when we read the Scriptures in the context of the author, the book the time period, and the intended recipient, the Scriptures are deeper than we could ever imagine. Paul isn’t telling us how keep the brokenness of this world going…he is showing us how to live in the Upsidedown Kingdom of God. That even inspite of the brokenness, we should self sacrificially love one another so that in turn others may come to know Christ and have saving faith in him.

Stay Hungry For God, My friends!
Pastor Bryan

It’s been a bit. I know…I know…I said that I would do my best to write at least once a week. But alas…here I am almost half way through July and I think I’ve only written one other time this summer, and it was during Children’s Camp.

I used to look forward to summer for different reasons than I do now. When I was a teenager, I used to look forward to all the fun things we would do. I had multiple friends with pools, which meant I had the best of both worlds: free access to a pool/and I didn’t have to clean it. Then there were camps, church camp, Vacation Bible School, where we got to be the “big kids on campus,” and then the fun summer events we would often have.

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But now, while I look forward to many of the same fun things we do as a pastoral family, I find myself half way through the summer starting to think about other things.

One thing you may not know about me is that while I am writing, I often listen to music; specifically I listen to piano music. Because I have Amazon Prime which comes with Amazon Music I found a station called Piano Hymns. Songs like “Nearer my God to The,” and “Pass Me Not O Gentle Savior,” along with “Blessed Assurance” not only keep my mind focused, but also keep me grounded in the hymns of the faith.

But something happened the other day. When I turned on the station, I pressd shuffle, and about an hour into my writing, A Christmas song came on.

After I was taken aback slightly by a sound from my favorite time of the year, my mind started to wander into other places. First, there’s football. We are a couple of weeks away from my son going to football camp as he begins his 8th Grade year. Then there’s Volleyball, where my daughters play in a YMCA league in one town over from where we live.

Then I started to think about cooler weather, and Thanksgiving, then that good feeling I get in my stomach when I start thinking about Egg Nog and Peppermint Mocha Cold Brew Coffees.

I started to feel myself well up with joy at the thoughts of the impending seasons. But then, in an instant, I was brought back to reality as I stepped outside in 100 degree + heat.

Talk about a smack to the face.

The reality is, I often find myself looking forward to what’s next. I am a planner. I’m not perfect at it, but I do feel that my life is better organized when I know what I’m preaching months in advance, and I’m always planning for the next liturgical season on the calendar. But then I am reminded of a short piece of Scripture from Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8:

A Time for Everything

3 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

Everything happens in its due time.

So, while we may all be busy, and we may all be looking forward to the next thing, my hope is you will take a moment to stop and to live in the moment. Sure, it’s hot right now, but there is work to be done, and life to be lived…right here and right now.

Be present with your families. Be present with your Church family. Most importantly, be present with the God who loves you.

And as always,

Stay Hungry for God, My Friends
Pastor Bryan

Oh…and P.S.

This year, I have the honor of bringing the message to 3rd - 6th Graders from all over the state of Texas. This is not usually my job. Over the last few years, I have been the Camp Dean of Revive camps, which in essence means I have been the camp pastor.

The job of the dean is to be a pastoral presence for the students and adult volunteers during our stay at camp. I also have the responsibility of dealing with behavioral issues or emergencies, my least favorite part of the job. But God (and Rusty Freeman) have put me in a unique position where I get to serve the children and the adults of these awesome Christ Center Camps.

But like I said…this year, my job has changed…perhaps just for this summer. This year I am the speaker. Over the last few days I have been tasked with speaking once in the morning and once in the evening. By the time I am done, I will have preached 8 different messages to these amazing kiddos.

This week, we are talking about how God gives us gifts. Every morning during our worship time, we have opened a present. On Wednesday our theme was “God Speaks to Us.” we read Hebrews 4:12, where Paul writes, “The word of God is Alive and Active.”

We also heard the story of the call of Samuel and how God spoke to Samuel through a loud voice calling his name and through his mentor, Eli.

Then, in the evening, we read through the Story of Elijah, and how the Lord spoke to Elijah in a whisper. We learned that the scary things (tornado/powerful wind, earth quake, and fire) didn’t seem to phase Elijah…at least in the Scriptures, but that when God spoke in the still small voice, it caused Elijah to cover his eyes. Then, we even took a moment and had some quiet time (40 seconds to be exact).

Thursday, we learned how “God Teaches Us.” We read 2 Timothy 3:16 that says, “God has breathed life into all Scripture.” We opened our second present which was a bible. We talked about how useful the Word of God is is for teaching us what is true, for helping us to correct our mistakes, and to help us make our lives whole, as well as training us to do what is right.

We hit on the truth that just because these 3rd - 6th graders are young, that they shouldn’t let anyone look down on them because of that, that they have a purpose. We wrapped up Thursday with prayer. Our students sat in their church groups and went around the circle and talked about things they wanted to pray for, and the adults prayed for them. Then we had our adults get up in the middle of the circle, and our students prayed for our adults.

It was truly a beautiful moment.

Then today we started talking about the Empty Tomb. Our present for this morning was an empty box! Because, you see…JESUS CHRIST IS RISEN! Our theme for that day was God Saves us! We talked about how God saved us from our sins, but then his fixes our brokenness caused by our sins.

At the time of this writing, we haven’t had the evening talk yet, but I know God will be present, and I look forward to see what he’s going to do!

Then tomorrow, as we get on the road to come home, we are going to learn about how “God Guides Us.” The present tomorrow is going to be a Stop/Slow Sign, as a reminder that God will always be with us and guide us through life. Then we’re going to celebrate communion as the ultimate reminder that Jesus is always with us!

I love my job. I love that I get to be the pastor of a church and lead people in their faith walks. But some of the best parts of that job happen when I am at camp, and where I get to lead children to Jesus!

Pray for us as we continue to meet with Jesus here at Latham Springs.

Good things are happening. God is moving!

Stay Hungry for God, my friends!
Pastor Bryan