Joni is a gosh darn freak, a beast. Her 1968-1979 run of albums is the stuff of legend. She went further out, faster, and with greater success than any of her peers. Joni rules. Ow ow!

And of course, the clothing. Joni wore it. That woman had style. Damn! In my mind’s eye, I see her ripping with the Shadows and Light band in her teal suit. Lyle Mays is in back tinkling away while Jaco plips and plops in his white polyester tracksuit. And let’s not forget Pat Metheny, ugh, what a flipping hunk!

I’m getting worked up. Join me for another trip into the N.E.H. Style Archive. Let’s talk Joni.

In her early years, Joni bopped around Western Canada, Toronto, New York, and even Florida (gross) before moving to the city of the fallen angels, Los Angeles. In the late ‘60s, Joni was about that Bohemian look with a hefty dose of west coast flair. Flowy skirts and dresses, chunky jewelry, frilly collars, earth tones. Almost always accompanied by her most trusted accessories: her acoustic guitar, her hammer dulcimer, and a cigarette (she started smoking when she was nine).

The most famous picture of Joni from 1971 features no clothing whatsoever. That would be the cover of Blue, of course, her fourth album. Joni was still on a Boho tip, but she started messing around with pants and jeans. She continued to wear her hair in that signature straight style with the wall of bangs, but that would soon change. Her straightforward folk era was coming to a close, and the clothes would follow suit.

Joni released the spare For the Roses in 1972 and then spent much of 1973 writing and recording her career masterpiece, Court and Spark. In 1974, she dropped that megawatt bomb on the public. She took the show on the road with her band the L.A. Express (cool name).

That’s the L.A. Express above. They look cool. Man, they really do. There are days when I think I look cool, but then I remember Joe Sample’s patched jeans and Larry Carlton’s perfect floppy hat and I realize I’m only sort of cool.

Joni’s fit, of course, is the best of the bunch. A striped oxford shirt tucked into some surplus pants, a jacket, and what appears to be a beret. That woman loves a beret. I have often thought of copping the official Joni Mitchell beret from her webstore. Should I do this? I hate it when men say they can’t “pull a ___ off.” Shut up! Be more confident! But for real, can I pull off a beret?

Joni was also a stone fox, and she knew it. I had to include a bikini pic, okay. I have editorial standards. Moving along.

As the ‘70s plowed on, Joni released albums of increasing difficulty. She lost fans and album sales pursuing the light. She also took her style in a–oh god, I’m sorry–more masculine direction. She embraced trousers, jackets, and the almighty pantsuit. Unclear what’s happening on the cover of Hejira except that Joni’s got her two most trusted accessories: her beret and her cig.

Joni closed the decade with her best fit and concert. Shadows and Light, recorded live at the Santa Barbara Bowl, watch here now!

Musically, this concert knocks me out. Of course it does. Fashion-wise, too. You got Metheny in yellow, Jaco and Brecker in red, Lyle in some sorta taupe number. And then you’ve got Joni in a teal suit with a luscious purple shirt, red flower, and big gold necklace. The colors just kill me. She’s wearing her hair in a perm while surrounded by the meanest players in jazz at the time. No regrets, coyote.

Joni turned 40 in 1983. I, too, will soon turn 40. And I have started wearing double breasted jackets in brown with big lapels. When people turn 40, they feel the draw. The ineffable draw of the big brown jacket.

The year is 1988, and Joni’s pace is slowing. Or rather, it’s changing. She’s painting more, recording less. Still getting off fits with the best of ‘em. She has officially entered her vibey boomer era. You can do it, too. Put on a shirt from pre-acquisition Banana Republic. Wear a weird necklace. Come in from the cold.

I don’t know that Joni was on, is on, or has ever been on Capital-F Fashion’s radar, but Vanity Fair (not to be confused with the Thackeray novel by the same name) profiled her in 1997. I’m sure she worked with a stylist; that stylist really captured Joni’s essence. Captured it right up and rendered it in white pants, a luxe robe, and a cigarette.

In 2007, Joni was inducted into the Canadian Songwriters Hall of Fame. She wore a turbulent indigo dress with a very Ring Coat shawl collar and belt.

A brain aneurysm nearly killed Joni in 2015, and she spent the rest of the decade getting her health back on track. In 2022, she returned to the stage for the first time since that catastrophic event. Since then, she’s played shows, appeared at music industry functions, and released a barrage of archival material. In many respects, it feels like Joni is more active now than she was in the prior three decades. That rocks because Joni rocks.

Joni Mitchell is 82. She is music royalty, and she dresses the part. She wears elaborate jackets, trousers, and accessories. She has perfect taste in sunglasses. She owns berets in every color of the rainbow. She sometimes uses a cane. She hasn’t released a new album in almost 20 years. She seems to sit exclusively on gilded thrones. I love her.

And to be honest, I feel as though I’ve only scratched the surface. I don’t know her 80s output all that well. I haven’t heard a lick of Shine. For the Roses still hasn’t fully revealed itself to me. But what a treat, knowing these experiences await! But then it always seems so righteous at the start.

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

We start our journey in 1953. It’s Sunday night in America, and Harry performs “Matilda” on The Ed Sullivan Show to millions of viewers. He wears a striped shirt with contrast collar, placket, and cuffs. He’s also rocking a fairly bold belt that lends visual balance to the shirt. It’s a loud fit, but it pops on the low-definition black-and-white TVs of the era. Don’t believe me? Give the video a watch if you haven’t seen it before.

In 1954, Belafonte is still far from a household name. He lands a role in a low-budget film called Bright Road, which features a Black cast and produces this fantastic photo. Hell of a suit. Classic ‘50s tailoring. The shoulders, lapels, and trousers are cut nice and wide, and Harry’s doing the most, accessories-wise. He’s got a 90-watt smile, and he’s not afraid to show it. Charisma simply oozes out of the man, but charisma alone won’t be enough to break him into the mainstream. He’s got a nearly insurmountable obstacle to deal with: he’s Black and lives in America.

In 1955, Belafonte releases his self-titled sophomore LP, and it tops the Billboard chart for six weeks. He eventually cedes the spot to another newcomer by the name of Elvis Presley. Culture was changing, and Harry was there at every stage. Go ahead and ask your grandma if she remembers Harry Belafonte. She’ll probably laugh at you, like, duh.

He also wore pink. Back then, pink had not fully calcified into the girly color that we know today (more on that here). I suspect RCA Victor’s arts department wanted to visually communicate Belafonte’s Caribbean roots to white consumers (he was born in Harlem to Jamaican parents) who might feel squeamish about buying an album with a Black man on the cover. Read: this is an exotic but safe product, like a trip to Hawaii. You can enjoy it amongst friends. Pairs well with ham-wrapped melon balls. And so forth.

1956 is the year Harry Belafonte went supernova. He releases Calypso, an album that topped the pop chart for 31 weeks. 31! The man was putting up Thriller numbers before Thriller was Thriller.

We like to think that culture changes fast in 2025. In some ways it does, and in other ways it doesn’t. Sure, I don’t know who half the people at the Met Gala are because they’re 19, but we also have a way of propping up our brightest stars for decades. Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Eminem, Drake. And that’s just musicians.

What am I getting at?

In just a few years, Harry Belafonte went from being a relative unknown to one of America’s most famous men along with–oh, I dunno–Dwight Eisenhower and John Wayne. And once he made it, he worked his ass off to stay at the top. Between 1956-1970, he released 17 albums, acted in four films, made dozens of appearances on (by my count) at least ten unique television programs. If the Super Bowl Halftime Show had existed as we know it in 1967, Belafonte would’ve headlined it. Through force of will, he turned himself into an institution. Nowadays, singers can take years off between albums. Harry didn’t have that luxury.

But back to the fit. White-on-white, you know the deal. Carefree tropical shit. Shirt unbuttoned all the way to the waist. Well, would you look at that? It’s the same belt from 1953. White crew socks, let’s go. And are those suede chukkas? Be still my heart.

In 1960, Belafonte becomes the first Black person to win an Emmy. Back then, awards shows weren’t showcases for edgy fashion designers or opportunities to hard launch albums/pregnancies. I’m not crazy about Belafonte’s tuxedo here. Satin lapels and the skinny bow tie miss me, but those were the times.

Belafonte may be remembered more for his political activism than his music or performing career. Here he is at the March on Washington in 1963 sitting beside his friend, the actor Sidney Poitier. Two legends. Belafonte addressed the crowd that day. You know who else did? Freaking Martin Luther King Jr.. That was the day he gave his I Have a Dream speech, arguably the most important speech in American history.

Times are changing, and so are suits. Lapels: skinny. Ties: also skinny. The monochromatic Mad Men look. The silhouette that made men fall back in love with suiting in the late aughts. I intend to write a story about that phenomenon eventually, but for now let’s admire these guys’ fits for another beat. Zoom in on Belafonte’s button. Two hands–one black, one white–shaking.

Speaking of which, in 1968, Belafonte appears on Petula, a variety show hosted by Petula Clark of “Downtown” fame. Love Pet. They perform a sodden anti-war duet called “On the Path of Glory.” It turns into a Big Deal when Petula takes hold of Harry’s arm for the finale. It’s the first time people of different races touch on television (video). Only took like 20 years. America: cool country.

But what the hell is Harry wearing? I don’t know, man. He looks like a Stars Wars character. The belt is actually integrated into the shirt, passing through loops and around back. I love a turtleneck, but yeesh. It’s a sign of the times (pun intended) and of things to come, of course. The ‘70s were a wavy decade, and Harry went with it, though he was, at that point, something of an elder statesmen.

1972! Love, love, love this fit. Man oh man. We finally get Belafonte out of wool and linen and into some denim. Jaunty scarf, impeccable hat, and Julie Andrews looking cross in a fabulous coat.

1977. Bellbottoms, flat caps, tinted shades, leisure suits, loud prints, and on and on. Harry rolls with it. He looks groovier than ever, though the show business portion of his career is starting to slow down.

In 1981, Harry releases Loving You Is Where I Belong, his penultimate album, and one that I haven’t heard. Dude obviously has nothing left to prove, as evidenced by his fuck-you-pay-me fit. Leather varsity jacket with knit cuffs/collar, a cashmere scarf, flat cap, and aviators. Here’s a man who knows his way around Barney’s.

Harry releases his final album in 1988. Paradise in Gazankulu protests the treatment of black South Africans under apartheid, and although it’s a bit of a dated affair musically-speaking, I do have love for “Skin to Skin,” which features some potent fretless bass-ing and the 80s-tastic voice of Jennifer Warnes. Love is up where we belong, baby. He looks phenomenal on The Tonight Show in an abstract and very unbuttoned shirt with contrast placket and collar.

I’ll leave you with this picture of Belafonte at the 2013 NYC Pride Parade. He’s 86, the Grand Marshall, and looking happy and fabulous. Fighting on behalf of another oppressed group in his beloved New York City. He lived to be 96, and when he died, the most important Americans paid their respects.

Turn on Calypso today, especially if you haven’t heard it before. I know it sounds dated, but it’s not some curio. It’s a vital piece of music that I’ve loved for a long time. Belafonte is a hero of mine, straight up. The archive goes deep, but I’ll stop here and let you explore it on your own. Enjoy your weekend!

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

N.E.H. on Instagram

A story has to start somewhere, and today we’re starting with Jeff’s early band The Wild Blue Yonder. Late ‘80s, probably not good (didn’t listen). I found some stills from a live performance, and the above still captures Jeff’s fit pretty well. And I’ve got to say… it’s a good fit! Let’s ignore the hat for moment and focus on the shirt. Jeff rocks a deep red button-down with some Putumayo-ass print and sleeves that either end way too soon or go on for way too long. Jeff’s already got, like, four buttons undone to give the audience a good look at his chest. He kept doing that throughout the ‘90s. It’s one of his signature style moves. Lothario shit. Gotta love it.

The hat is certainly a choice. It’s a leather biker hat, the kind worn by motorcyclists in the mid-20th century and then adopted by gay men in the leather community. I’ve got no problem with the hat in that context, of course, but Jeff’s on another tip here. It won’t be his last swing-and-miss when it comes to hat selection.

One last thing: Long time N.E.H. readers know that I love when rockers wear watches. Jeff’s watch appears to be a basic black-and-white Swatch or Timex, etc.. Not a fine watch, in other words. Utilitarian. Very good.

In 1991, Jeff performed publicly as a solo artist for the first time. The occasion? A tribute concert to Tim Buckley, the cult folk musician and Jeff’s dad. Jeff never knew him. Jeff turned in a rangy take on “I Never Asked To Be Your Mountain.” Heavy stuff! Jeff looked fabulous in a drapey, oversized black t-shirt, long thin chain. and his legendary locks. Jeff’s hair is as much a part of his style story as any garment. His fit would look current today.

In 1991, Jeff linked up with Gary Lucas, a guitarist who played on late Captain Beefheart records. Their group, Gods and Monsters, attracted some attention and helped get Jeff’s foot in the door at Imago Records. He moved to New York City and began gigging around, most notably at Sin-é, a small East Village coffee shop and music venue. But that’s old news. Let’s talk clothes.

Pictured above: Jeff and Gary circa 1992. Jeff must’ve been fond of that t-shirt. He also wears it in this grainy YouTube footage taken at a Gods and Monsters show in March ‘92. Jeff had some troll in him, I’m sure of it. Rocking a Jesus-on-the-Cross shirt with torn, ragged jeans (and braces!) while playing noisy psychedelic blues was very on-brand for him. A few years later, he would harness this trollish tendency to land on a signature look.

It’s time to talk about Grace. Released in the summer of 1994, Grace is Jeff’s first and only official LP. In 2005, I downloaded it via the dorm network at U of I and fell in love with “Hallelujah.” It took years, but I grew to love the whole album. If you stop at “Hallelujah,” you may miss slammers like “So Real,” “Lover, You Should’ve Come Over,” and my personal favorite, the mesmerizing 10/10 stone classic “Last Goodbye.”

When shooting the cover, Jeff had to fight with his label Columbia for nearly every artistic choice. He copped the gold sequined women’s jacket at a thrift store, and it’s just perfect. Sequins are great when you want to look like a disco ball. He layers the fab jacket over a deep-v with a stretched-out neck. He did that a lot back then. A couple long necklaces complete the look.

When I talk about Jeff trolling audiences, this is what I’m talking about. In 1994, rock music was in the process of splitting off in about a million directions under the vast umbrella of alternative. Style splintered, too. Grunge via Pearl Jam (flannel), power pop via Weezer (geek chic), indie via Pavement (adjunct professor), punk via Green Day (tees and tartan), Britpop via Oasis (parkas and Stone Island), jammy roots garbage via DMB (hacky sack core), and so on.

Though many of the aforementioned acts and their peers sought to play with and even undermine macho rock tropes, there was still a whole lot of dude energy in 1994, and it was reflected in the clothing. Male rockers were expected to dress the part, and I’m sure Columbia records thought Jeff looked too feminine or soft or (gasp) gay on the cover of Grace. So be it, said Jeff. One outtake shows him eating a banana. The old-fashioned microphone gives off lounge lizard vibes, and there was nothing less cool in 1994 than that. So be it.

The man also loved a white tank. Back then, people called them D___ Tees or W___ B______. Come on!

At this juncture, it feels appropriate to address one last component of Jeff’s timeless style: the fact that he was a total hunk. Truly a beautiful man. In this life, you’re dealt one face, and Jeff got dealt a stunner. When you’re that hot, you can try to hide, or you can just own it and be sexy.

Jeff spent much of 1995 on the road touring behind Grace. During down time on random tour stops, he’d wear plaid flannels and even workwear. But when it came time for the show, the man unbuttoned the ol’ shirt and embraced his hotness. The above picture, taken in 1995 at my beloved Metro, answers the question: how low can he go?

The fits did not stop, my friends. This mustard-meets-spinach colorway was all the rage a couple years ago because it makes for a great camp shirt. Jeff understood that way back in, like, 1996. I’m going to need a Shoes Guy to ID the kicks. I assume Dr. Martens, but I could be wrong. Not my specialty. Anyway, I like them. I don’t like the hat.

And here’s that shirt in a different context. When you’re partying with Iggy Pop, you’ve got to wear your leather jacket. Jeff understood the assignment. His had a massive ‘70s collar and button placket which leads me to believe that it’s vintage.

In the last full year of his life, Jeff worked on the follow-up to Grace with the working title My Sweetheart the Drunk. It wasn’t a smooth process. He traveled back and forth from NYC to Memphis cutting tracks with his band and discarding the results. On May 29, 1997 he jumped into Wolf River Harbor and never came out. The above photo is reported to be his last. In true J.B. fashion, he was zigging while everybody zagged. Vintage shirt with long collar buttoned all the way up. Hard to tell, but there appears to be some embroidery down the front, perhaps floral. Whatever the case, it’s one hell of a final fit pic.

Jeff Buckley had a career that began and ended before the proliferation of the internet and digital photography. He never got big enough to hit a million red carpets or compel photographers to follow him everywhere or need to promote himself on social media. There aren’t a ton of fit pics of Jeff. Being a fan of Jeff’s means being content with seeing the same photos over and over. Fortunately, they’re very good photos, and Jeff wore very good clothing in them.

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

N.E.H. on Instagram

“Luther” by Kendrick Lamar ft. SZA

I love this song. I especially love when duets top the Billboard Hot 100. “Islands in the Stream,” “The Boy Is Mine,” “Easy Lover…”

The key to a good duet, of course, is chemistry, and Kendrick Lamar and SZA have it. They’ve got the rizz, baby. Kendrick locates his delivery somewhere between rapping and singing to match SZA. They both sound sorta tired and/or bored, but in a good way. SZA executes melodically rich vocal runs (“I’d give you everything”) with minimal effort (and melisma, look it up), and you can’t help but fall in love with her. Which is to say I can’t help but fall in love with her. Luv, u SZA.

I admit I’ve never encountered “Luther” in the real world. I haven’t heard it on pop radio or in line at the CVS. I don’t listen to pop radio. The idea of listening to pop radio doesn’t necessarily make me want to gouge out the ol’ eardrums with a pencil á la Butthole Surfers, but the practice most certainly does. In other words, I do not want to hear Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars, Drake, or (checks notes) Teddy Swims.

I only listen to two Chicagoland radio stations: 93.9 LITE FM (Relaxing Favorites) and the ultimate champion of local radio, 87.7 MeTV FM (Timeless and Memorable). They’re oldies stations, okay. While listening to them, I get to hear certified slammers such as “Papa Was a Rollin’ Stone” and “It Must Have Been Love” alongside audiogloop such as “Just When I Needed You Most” and “She’s Like the Wind.” This has the effect of making me feel good and nourished and suspended in the nostalgic placenta of America’s aural mistakes.

Pat, what are you talking about?

I love listening to bad music, but only if it’s from, say, 1974 (I’m looking at you, “Please Come to Boston”), and I hate listening to bad music from 2025 (I’m looking at you, “A Bar Song (Tipsy)”). Why? Inert bygone hits can be educational. They can inform my music taste and even the music I make. A little tinkle on the triangle may tickle my pleasure centers, and then I can borrow that trick for some project I’m working on. Current hits are never inert. They’re toxic, poisoning otherwise neutral experiences at the aforementioned CVS. I’ve noticed Lady Gaga’s album cover on the margins of my internet for weeks now, and it bothers me. I don’t like Lady Gaga. I’ve never liked Lady Gaga. Why do I have to look at her/her album cover?

Circling back to “Luther,” is this song popular in the old way? Meaning, does its footprint extend beyond the confines of streaming? Do people who actually partake in mass media hear this song organically in the car, on the Bose while making dinner, etc.? Does that world even exist anymore?

And more importantly, what was up with Kendrick’s jeans at the Super Bowl?

After Kendrick’s Super Bowl halftime performance, I received a number of texts, DMs, and in-person queries about his jeans. What did I think of them? Did they signal the arrival of a new (that is, old) silhouette? And [strokes chin] what does it all mean?

Thanks to all who queried! At the risk of beating a dead horse (SB LIX happened over a month ago) I would like to share my thoughts now.

And my thoughts are… I like them! They look good to me. They’re from the French fashion house Celine, a brand I think about approx. twice per year, usually when I’m thinking about Hedi Slimane (wish I didn’t have to). I assume normals think about Celine in terms of handbags. That’s about as far as most normals go when it comes to luxury goods, and I will save my thoughts on that phenomenon for some other day.

Listen, I think a guy can have different kinds of pants in his wardrobe. Different cuts, different colors. Dark jeans, baggy fatigues, tapered chinos. And a pair of washed out flares. Why not? The ideas of uniform dressing and/or capsule wardrobes and/or timeless style bore the heck out of me. Put on a costume. Look like an undergrad circa 2006. Who cares.

Speaking of 2006! Most of the pushback, I noticed, came from women aged 35-45. Kendrick’s jeans seemed to trigger some unpleasant memory of traipsing from the dorm to the bar in wet conditions. Frayed and wet hems, a going out top, a digital camera around the wrist, five straws in a fishbowl. You know the vibe. I lived that life, too. In time we course corrected (enter skinny jeans) but the memory persists.

And lest we forget, hardcore kids rocked men’s flares before they hit the mainstream.

Which brings me to my next (and hopefully final) point: You can sit this trend out. Maybe it goes without saying, but Kendrick wearing $1300 flares doesn’t mean you have to, too. Definitely don’t buy flares from SHEIN (JFC). The denim brands I wear and love have been making flares for awhile now, sometimes via the tamer bootcut silhouette and sometimes with no restraint at all (Kapital’s). I don’t own a pair of flares. Yet.

Alternatives

Music: Cotton Crown by The Tubs
Book: Wellness by Nathan Hill
Interview: Donald J. Trump and the End of America

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

N.E.H. on Instagram

Today I will investigate two streaming juggernauts: Love is Blind and Severance.

Love Is Blind

Over the course of eight seasons spanning just five years, Love Is Blind has gone from compulsively watchable to actively irritating. I’m not sure why I keep tuning in, except that it feels nice to power down the ol’ brain on the weekend.

This season, set in Minneapolis, is notable for its lack of diversity. I’m not the first person to make this observation.1 2 Seriously, take a look at these specimens.

Dear lord. The producers seem to have invented contestants using AI/silly putty. What’s more distressing is the show’s conservative/religious agenda. Half of these buffoons regularly talk about god in a way that isn’t immediately dismissive. And don’t get me started on the dudes who proudly label themselves socially liberal, fiscally conservative.

The women of Love Is Blind, by and large, aren’t smart either, and so they decline to ridicule these bozos into oblivion. When I appear on the second Chicago installment of Love Is Blind, I intend to lead with my socialism and atheism. Only on date two will my future wife learn about my other quirks, such as: I love Golden Grahams. And then we’ll get engaged and she’ll learn that I’m handsome.

I’m sorry to make you do this, but N.E.H. is a fashion ‘stack and so you’ve got to take a look at these fellas’ legs. For whatever reason, the gents of Love Is Blind are almost always dressed like it’s 2015 and they’re getting ready for Sunday brunch. Bottomless Mimosacore. Slim stretchy pants, bad Chelsea boots, ankle socks. Gonna get my morning workout in at Orange Theory and chase it with tequila shots at Federales.

Fortunately, there is an alternative!

Severance

Chances are if you’re reading this, it’s because you’re a person of refined taste. And so I assume you’re already into Severance, Apple TV’s monster hit. I love this show. Man, I really do. Every Friday, I park my keister on the couch and take my emotional walloping with a grin.

I’m not the kind of viewer who demands that plot holes be closed or spends his time deciphering easter eggs on Reddit or whatever. I like entertainment to take me on a crazy ride, and Severance is doing just that.

Again, N.E.H. is a fashion ‘stack, so let’s consider some fashion.

Severance’s main character is Mark (Adam Scott), a severed employee at Lumon. Lumon is a classic Orwellian setting replete with surveillance and mind control and bad motives, etc.. Mark dresses accordingly. His suits are gray or navy and cut in a pretty standard way, i.e., not in any way that would distinguish him from the other drones. He looks pretty good! So do his colleagues Dylan and Irving. His fourth colleague, Helly R, is a smokeshow who walks a fine line between retro, futuristic, retro-futuristic, and corporate chic.

And please take note of the show’s snappiest dresser, Mr. Milchick, looking like a dang boss in the forests of [redacated]. To me, Tramell Tillman resembles Billy Ocean, one of the 80s sultriest stars. Caribbean Queen, now we’re sharing the same dream.

In conclusion, norms watch television and I do, too. Maybe I am a norm after all? Lots to ponder as I embark on Vol. 2 of the Norm Report. What normie pastime should I tackle next? Should I watch a hockey game? Do some online shopping at Gap.com? Adopt a puppy? Let me know in the comments! Have a great weekend!

Alternatives

Music: Sparagmos by Spectral Voice
Book: You Dreamed of Empires by Álvaro Enrigue
Movie: The Deer Hunter by Michael Cimino

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

N.E.H. on Instagram

Watching that video got me thinking about Alkaline Trio’s style over the years, and because I’m an Industry Insider and Certified Garment Guy, I’d argue I’m well positioned to make some sense of their career via the lens of clothing. Please join me for a trip into the Alkaline Trio style archive.

Alkaline Trio formed in 1996 and released their debut album Goddamnit in 1998. The above photo is an outtake from the Goddamnit photo session. So much of Alkaline Trio’s aesthetic is already present: the black-and-red palette and campy, spooky costuming.

That being said, if you were so lucky as to attend a Trio show in ‘98 or ‘99, you wouldn’t necessarily have seen this version of the band.

The boys would’ve probably looked like this instead. Plus ringer tees, jeans, and backwards snapbacks. I can’t find photo evidence at the moment, but I know Matt used to rock a Public Enemy t-shirt.

I discovered Alkaline Trio in 2001, and by then, they were already moving past their scrappy midwestern roots and attendant style. They were developing a look, and that look really started to come together around From Here to Infirmary.

From Here to Infirmary was the Trio’s first album on shit-hot Vagrant Records, and to signal that they were going for it, the band adopted a uniform. That their uniform would primarily consist of black clothing was a no brainer, but the band also started experimenting with–gasp–collars. In the “Stupid Kid” video, both Dan and Mike wear collared shirts/knits. Sometimes punk bands start wearing more “adult” clothing to signal a more mature sound (e.g., New Found Glory circa Coming Home), and sometimes punk bands wear collared shirts because that’s what undertakers wear. In two years, it would become plainly evident which camp Alkaline Trio fell in.

Derek Grant joined the Alkaline Trio on drums in 2001, and he held the throne until 2023. During his tenure, Derek always seemed down to indulge the band’s gothic tendencies. Look at him rocking that priest’s collar and eyeliner. (The show must go…off!) In hindsight, anybody can see that Derek and Matt’s suit coats were awful, but in the early 00s, that’s just how formalwear from Men’s Wearhouse looked. The silhouettes would eventually slim as tastes in menswear changed and budgets improved.

[Applebee’s voice] Looking hard in the graveyard. Iconic image right here. The shades, the suits, the distant stares. I bought Good Mourning on the day it came out, and I can still remember the smell of the packaging (like a freshly opened deck of Magic cards). I also remember feeling slightly bummed because-

A: I had unreasonably high expectations
B: Matt’s voice sounded cooked
C: The lyrics were almost cartoonishly macabre

Lyrically, Matt and Dan are at their best when the macabre is the context, not the point. Compare “Goodbye Forever” (1999) and “This Could Be Love.” (2003). “Goodbye Forever” speaks to the desperation of living in Chicago when things aren’t going as you had hoped.

Stuck to the roof of my mouth with a staple
Remember last April, when we saw US Maple

Matt juxtaposes a gnarly, surreal image of a stapled mouth with his memory of seeing the band US Maple at the Fireside. US Maple is one of the most difficult, unnerving bands I’ve ever heard. In just two lines, Matt paints a vivid, realistic picture of his life at the time of writing while incorporating macabre elements.

And now consider “This Could Be Love.”

Step four, stop at Lake Michigan and rinse your crimson hands
You took me hostage and made your demands
I couldn’t meet ‘em so you cut off my fingers one by one

Another reference to a famous Chicago landmark and another gnarly image, but this time, the lyrics are so over-the-top that the effect is not nearly as potent. If you were a die hard fan like I was in 2003, you had to wonder if this Hot Topic direction was good for the band.

In 2005, Alkaline Trio doubled down with their goth-influenced Crimson. Lyrically, Crimson and Good Mourning aren’t terribly different, but musically, Crimson finds the band experimenting with keyboards, slower tempos, and proggy elements. (See: “Burn,” “The Poison,” and “Prevent This Tragedy.”) Crimson rocks. It’s the last truly great album from the band.

To signal their evolution, the Trio tweaked their uniform by subbing olive accessories for red. Oh, and Derek found a cool derby hat to wear on the cover. It won’t be the last time a member reaches for an ill-advised hat.

Alkaline Trio left Vagrant and signed with Epic for their sixth album, 2008’s Agony & Irony. Man, I did not like this album when it came out. Time has been somewhat kind to it. You know what time has not been kind to? Dan’s hat. Dear lord.

Otherwise, we’ve got some black leather jackets, red striped scarves, and trimmer silhouettes. Alkaline Trio are starting to look like LA rockers (in a good way). The clothes still scream Alkaline Trio but now some individual personality is coming through.

The years rolled on, and the pace with which Alkaline Trio recorded and toured slowed. Increasingly generic albums like This Addiction (2010) and My Shame is True (2013) came and went, and the members of the band started dressing more like individuals than as a unit. Totally understandable! Have you ever worn a suit for work? It sucks!

Sidebar: Matt was in Blink-182 for seven years. I wrote about them here.

Which brings us to 2024. Every member has his own style. Matt loves motorcycling gear. Leather jackets, Ducati sweaters, jerseys from the Cali motorsports brand Deus Ex Machina. Personally, I loathe motorcycles (dangerous) and will never flirt with this style, but good for him. He also rides for BMX, which I can get behind.

Dan, once a stalwart defender of the black-and-red suit, seems most comfortable in a plain gray t-shirt, pair of jeans, and his trusty flat cap or beanie. FWIW, I love Dan’s mustache.

Finally, we have Atom Willard, the band’s new drummer. Atom seems content wearing the drummer’s uniform (black t-shirt, black jeans, good hair). I wonder what t-shirt brand he prefers. Maybe he’s a fan of Lady White Co. like me.

This is what Alkaline Trio looks like now. The year is 2024, and the boys have come full circle. Blood, Hair, and Eyeballs is better that it has any business being, and the album rollout–with its slick music videos, promo circuit, and late night performances–shows the band and record label putting in effort to attract new fans and reel old ones back in.

Matt, Dan, and Atom are once again rocking suits, only they’re doing so in their own unique ways. Dan’s the tweedy, cerebral foil to Matt, the rockstar leader. Atom’s fit has the least personality, befitting a new cog in the machine, but his cuffs are unbuttoned, and he could step behind the kit at any moment for another performance of “All on Black.”

Alkaline Trio influenced not only the sound, but the look of an entire generation of punk rockers. Think Green Day circa American Idiot, AFI circa Sing the Sorrow, and perhaps most obviously, My Chemical Romance.

For better and worse, The Alkaline Trio wore suits, formal and semi-formal shirts, and ties during their most beloved and significant years as a band. I’m glad they’re wearing them again.

Leave a comment

Subscribe now

New Experimental Hours on Instagram

Greetings! I’m writing this on a Friday night. The kids are in bed, Kathy is out to dinner with friends, and I’m sitting on the couch listening to Jimmy Buffett’s Christmas Island. I’m also thinking about the year. In many respects, 2023 was rotten. I hope for peace at home and abroad in 2024, and I hope that you continue to hone your personal style.

Here’s something I’ve never done: I’m going to list, photograph, and write about my 2023 pick-ups. Might be fun?! If it’s fun for you, please smash that subscribe button, drop a comment, or roast my fit on social media. I won’t be mad. Let’s go.

CAP-TOE LAKESHORE BOOT by OAK STREET BOOTMAKERS

I didn’t see it coming. I always thought I was a Trench Boot guy, but Oak Street’s slimmer and dressier model, the Lakeshore Boot, won me over in 2024. Last month, I picked up my second pair of Lakeshores, the limited edition Lakeshore Boot in Minerva Liscio Castagno. Minerva is a veg tan leather from Italy’s legendary Badalassi Carlo tannery. These boots have a deep and consistent wine-like color to them. Luscious!

8oz Denim FOLK-DOJO Embroidery EASY Pants by KAPITAL

I don’t like wearing shorts to work, but I also don’t like overheating. So what did I do? I bought the lightest weight denim pants I’ve ever seen. They come courtesy of Kapital, so you know they’re huge and flowy with a drop crotch and a million little embroideries. They’re perfect, but they’re also hard to style. I wear mine with a solid t-shirt (tucked in, of course) and loafers.

SPLIT CREW CARDIGAN by LADY WHITE CO.

Low key my favorite piece in Lady White’s deep catalog. The name is literal; it’s a crewneck sweatshirt split down the middle, resulting in a cardigan. No pockets, no zipper or buttons, no collar. You throw one over a t-shirt, and that’s that. This green colorway is from a couple years ago. I bought mine on Grailed for $55 shipped!

Subscribe now

VINTAGE MARVIN the MARTIAN Denim Shirt

I have vivid memories of visiting the Warner Brothers Store at the mall. They had this spaceship-like play area in the back that kids could climb on and crawl through and slide down while their parents shopped. Marvin the Martian was hot shit back then. Still is. I love a denim shirt with a zipper. I bought this one for $20 on eBay. You can find one for cheap, too. Just type in your favorite Warner Bros. character and denim shirt, piece of cake.

HATS by PAA

PAA makes my favorite hat in the world, the Floppy Ball Cap. If you can grab one in an interesting fabric (I suggest velveteen), you should. They’re lightweight, they fit perfectly, and the brims are unstructured. Unstructured brims are dope. We all know this! PAA ran an archive sale this summer, and I grabbed three hats for about $100, along with a t-shirt (not pictured). The collection grows!

PLANO SWEATER by ARPENTEUR

Arpenteur is a brand for grown-ass adults. If you’re grown-ass, you should wear Arpenteur. Their line is concise and focused - all killer, no filler. With its elegant drape, unusual color, and soft, not-scratchy handfeel, I especially love the Plano Sweater in purple.

MISSION TO SATURN MOONSWATCH by OMEGA x SWATCH

2023 was the year when Moonswatch supply caught up with demand. I got mine in Times Square, and I wear it almost every day. Mine was a gift, and a great one at that. The Saturn subdial is a nice touch that you don’t see on the other Moonswatches, and the bioceramic case goes with everything. The stock strap leaves something to be desired, and in 2024, I pledge to buy a nice NATO strap. Roughout?

LOST IT ALL T-Shirt by RIVAL SCHOOLS

You can always count on me to discover an album 20 years after it came out, and this year, that album was Rival School’s United By Fate. I threw “Used For Glue” on a playlist and it was over! Rival Schools whooped ass at Riot Fest this year, so I drunkenly hit up the merch tent on my way out and scooped up this beaut. Lost it all again/to start over.

IDG SWT Knit T-BACK BIG SWT by KAPITAL

People forget that Kapital makes “basic” garments without bones, smilies, sashiko, etc.. This sweatshirt isn’t actually that basic (like, why does it have a buckle-back?) but it’s simple enough that I can wear it twice a week without hesitation. Drop shoulder, boxy fit, and the best shade of blue. Kapital wins again.

SUPER WEIGHTED HOODIE by LADY WHITE CO.

The best hoodie in the game. This entry is getting long so I’ll just say you should buy one, too.

CUSTOM CAMP SHIRT by GITMAN VINTAGE

I had the fine folks from Gitman Vintage whip me up this custom shirt. You guys know I love a busy-ass pattern, and when I saw this fabric with a bicycle motif, I simply had to have it. I asked if they could place the chest pocket on the right side, and they said sure! I’m left handed and I’ve never had a shirt with a single pocket there. Two chest pockets? Of course, but not one.

Okay, that’s it! Thanks for scrolling. 2023 was a great year for clothing, and 2024 should be even better. Buy better, buy local, buy less. See you next year!

Leave a comment

New Experimental Hours on Instagram

Subscribe now

Everywhere I looked there were bad clothes! Family reunion shirts that would be worn once and then abandoned in some suburban drawer. Moisture-wicking polos with corporate logos on the chest or sleeve. Sports merchandise from teams like the Atlanta Braves and Florida State Seminoles. Yuck!

But by far the worst shirt at Disney World came courtesy of the brand Under Armour [sic]. If you’ve spent any time in a public space, you’ve certainly seen this shirt. It’s an abomination, and people who wear it should be ashamed of themselves. Here’s the shirt:

I’m sorry you had to see that. It wasn’t my intention to ruin your day. That being said, if you stick around for a couple minutes, I will write more about why this shirt sucks.

First off–and maybe this goes without saying–the shirt celebrates a country that doesn’t deserve a celebration. The United States blows, pure and simple. It always has. It sucked in 1492 (genocide), 1776 (slavery), 1945 (nuclear annihilation), and the year of my birth, 1986 (capitalism).

Second, the shirt sucks because of the word freedom, rendered in a vaguely masculine and utterly inelegant font. Because freedom, the word and concept, is often used to justify our bloated military, endless wars, and walking back of gun laws, we here at N.E.H. reject freedom!

Under Armour is the number one clothing brand of America’s dorks. I’m thinking of business dads, guys who watch college football, and Disney dudes. This brand of man doesn’t purchase clothing unless he’s performing a related task, such as shopping for groceries at Meijer. The Freedom Flag T-Shirt just screams I bought this at Kohl’s while waiting for an oil change.

Lastly, the Under Armour shirt doesn’t even attempt to celebrate the good stuff about America. Once upon a time, we had a robust manufacturing sector. Most clothing was made in the USA of American-made materials. Flash forward to 2023; if you guessed The Freedom Flag T-Shirt was MIUSA, you guessed wrong. It is imported (a catchall term that companies often use when they’re manufacturing overseas in less-than-savory factories). The shirt is made of cotton and polyester, a synthetic fabric derived from petroleum. When you machine wash your UA shirt, the shirt will inevitably shed plastic polymers that end up in our waterways and bodies. FREEDOM

Detour: Why do they spell Under Armour like that?!

In conclusion, consumers have the opportunity–nay, the freedom–to put this shirt out to pasture. Stop buying it, stop wearing it, stop ruining Disney World with it.

Leave a comment

Subscribe now

New Experimental Hours on Instagram

Poke around your friends’ bookshelves, and you will almost certainly find a title from the 1001 ______ Before You Die series.

1001 Gardens You Must See Before You Die
1001 Whiskies You Must Try Before You Die
1001 Guitars to Dream of Playing Before You Die

The list goes on. Amazing places! Natural wonders! Never mind that most people don’t have enough time on god’s green earth to watch 1001 television shows, read 1001 books, or eat at 1001 restaurants. That’s not important. The 1001 series sells readers the fantasy of completion, and thus, mastery.

The best book of the series, in my opinion, is 1001 Songs You Must Hear Before You Die. Mainly because it doesn’t take all that long to listen to 1001 songs, and if you permit yourself to skip around, you can mow down a huge swath of music history in, like, a week. Nice!

Now everybody knows I’m a fool, and so like a fool I challenged myself to create my own list of 1001 songs. My list is better than Mr. Dimery’s (no disrespect) because I have the greatest music taste of my generation, and I seldom repeat artists. Artists were allowed only one entry unless that artist enjoyed a long, varied career with multiple stylistic detours!

For example, Miles Davis has four songs on my list because he was active for a really long time and changed a whole lot over the course of his career. Iyaz, on the other hand, makes one appearance because he didn’t stick around long enough to top his lone global smash hit, “Replay.” Shorty’s like a melody in my head.

Furthermore, Fleetwood Mac earned three entries on my list because the band had three principal songwriters (no disrespect to Peter Green).

Oh and I also like whiny aughts pop-punk more than just about anybody, and so my list represents a a critical course correction for this much maligned subgenre. You’re very welcome.

WHY DID I DO THIS?

Man, I don’t know! Because sometimes it’s fun to turn off the part of your brain that worries about global warming, raising children, and buying groceries. I will admit that picking the first 800 songs took me like an hour. The last 200…not so much. This post has been sitting in my drafts for over a year. And so without further ado:

HERE’S THE LINK TO MY 1001 SONGS SPREADSHEET

And here’s the Spotify playlist:

I hope you like it. Share your thoughts in the comments or text me or whatever. I’m sorry I haven’t posted since 2021. I’ll see you all again in 2025.

You can also read about the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s.

The year is 2007. I’ve downloaded Les Savy Fav’s Let’s Stay Friends on Oink because Pitchfork gave it a BNM, and Pitchfork’s seal of approval will ensure that other Oink users will want to download it, too, thus improving my ratio on Oink. A good ratio = the ability to download more obscure records, like Heavier than a Death in the Family by Les Rallizes Dénudés.

And though it’s just a ranking of songs I listen to more than others, I feel weirdly proud of my iTunes top 40 chart. Finally! Objective proof that I have good taste and that I am, in fact, cool, informed, and better than the majority of my peers. It goes without saying that I am a snob and most likely insufferable.

This may sound like hell to you, but I sincerely believe it was a golden age for music fans. A few years later, Spotify unlocked pretty much every song known to man, but having access to every song has rendered me a less attentive, less obsessive, and more mainstream music fan. I don’t think I’m alone.

I was also (relatively) young in the aughts. Music hits different when you’re young. I was in high school! College! I felt feelings back then. What a time to be alive. Now let’s count down, starting with Mr. West.

10. Kanye West - “Two Words” (Roc-a-Fella, 2004)

Kanye had a better decade than any other artist. There’s really no contest. He put out The College Dropout, Late Registration, Graduation, and 808s and Heartbreak. Damn!

“Two Words” is a supremely focused and grandiose piece of music, and I just love how Ye, Mos Def, and Freeway toy with the “two words” theme.

9. Taylor Swift - “Love Story” (Big Machine, 2008)

It’s “Love Story.” What more is there to say?

8. Califone - “The Orchids” (Thrill Jockey, 2006)

Every couple of days, some Twitter user asks, “What’s a cover that’s better than the original,” and the mindless idiots of Twitter rally around “I Will Always Love You” or “Hurt” or whatever. They are wrong; the only correct answer is “The Orchids,” originally by Psychic TV. Califone had an astonishing and wildly underrated decade.

7. Matt Pond PA - “New Hampshire” (Altitude, 2004)

At the beginning of the pandemic, musicians who had suddenly found themselves out of work hosted livestreams. Matt Pond did it, and so did Pete Yorn, who appears a little further down. The highlight of Matt’s show, of course, was “New Hampshire,” a tender and beautiful ballad about leaving home, words unspoken, family, and love. His performance gave me a bit of hope in a difficult time, so yeah, it makes my list.

6. Nightmare of You - “I Want To Be Buried In Your Backyard” (The Bevonshire Label, 2005)

You can read my anniversary piece about Nightmare of You here. Simply scroll down, and you’ll find “I Want To Be Buried In Your Backyard” content. Neat-o.

5. Stars - “Reunion” (Arts & Crafts, 2004)

Set Yourself on Fire was already a year old when I downloaded it during my freshman year of college. Albums had long tails then, and Stars sounded like nothing I’d ever heard before. What I didn’t know, of course, was that they sounded like a lot of other groups–Arcade Fire, Broken Social Scene, Camera Obscura–that peddled anthemic indie rock with strings. No matter. They were new to me, and their jam about attending a high school reunion and flailing at romance hit weirdly close to home.

4. Pete Yorn - “Strange Condition” (Columbia, 2001)

My friend and musical partner, Kyle, introduced me to this one. He’s been listening to Pete Yorn’s seminal debut, musicforthemorningafter, since it was released in 2001, but for whatever reason, it took me a lot longer to get into it. Now I know the album like the back of my hand, and “Strange Condition” is the big reason why.

I won’t say much more, except that the song opens with a perfect couplet:

Read me the letter, baby, do not leave out the words
Stories and cigarettes ruined lives of lesser girls

3. The Lawrence Arms - “Fireflies” (Fat Wreck Chords, 2003)

Chris McCaughan and Brendan Kelly share songwriting duties in the Lawrence Arms. What’s cool is that they’re both good songwriters. Like, really good. And on their fourth album, The Greatest Story Ever Told, they turned in career-best performances. I’m partial to Chris’s songs myself.

“Fireflies” starts strangely, like we’ve been dropped into the middle of the song. Terrific guitar lead. Chris plays like nobody else. His style is “impressionistic,” which is neat because his lyrics are impressionistic, too. I hope that makes sense.

The lyrics resist interpretation, but I’ll try to pin them down anyway. Chris sings about the passing of time and the inevitability of change and loss. He invokes clocks, sleep, and smoke. He is clearly pining for someone. At the song’s climax, he pleads:

“Let the currents take us where they will”

This line was one of my go-to away messages on AIM. Putting TLA lyrics in my away messages made me super popular, but I was one of those cool cool kids who used his platform to befriend losers and improve them.

I loved “Fireflies” when I was 16, and I love it now. I’m still in awe of Chris’s songs on Greatest Story. How did he do that? Excellence!

2. Alkaline Trio - “You’ve Got So Far to Go” (Asian Man Records, 2000)

I prefer Dan’s songs is a commonly held opinion in the Alkaline Trio-verse. As the decade progressed, his tunes got stronger while Matt’s got weaker. So yeah, Dan penned a ton of classics in the 00s: “She Took Him to the Lake,” “Take Lots with Alcohol,” and “If We Never Go Inside” come to mind, but it’s “You’ve Got So Far to Go” that ultimately takes the cake.

“You’ve Got So Far to Go” has a peculiar structure. It starts with that iconic bass intro, then there’s the first verse, the chorus, and then the second verse that sounds like a bridge (and may, in fact, be a bridge - I’m no music theorist). The result? “You’ve Got So Far to Go” feels short, direct, and infinitely replayable, though it’s about as long as any Trio song from that era.

1. The National - “Brainy” (Beggars Banquet, 2007)

The National are the best band, and so it’s only right that they appear in the number one position. I’ve written about them before, and I’ll probably write about them again. It was very hard to pick a favorite song off Boxer. I’ve always loved “Brainy,” an underrated track (as National tracks go) that’s big on atmosphere.

Here’s my longlist:

50 Cent - “In Da Club” (Aftermath, 2003)
Against Me! - “Pints of Guinness Make You Strong” (No Idea, 2002)
The All-American Rejects - “Swing, Swing” (DreamWorks, 2002)
Allister - “Scratch” (Drive-Thru, 2002)
American Nightmare - “There’s a Black Hole in the Shadow of the Pru” (Equal Vision, 2001)
Animal Collective - “For Reverend Green” (Domino, 2007)
Antony and the Johnsons - “Hope There’s Someone” (Secretly Canadian, 2005)
Arcade Fire - “Crown of Love” (Merge, 2004)
Asobi Seksu - “Goodbye” (Friendly Fire, 2006)
Band of Horses - “Detlef Schrempf” (Sub Pop, 2007)
Bayside - “Poison in My Veins” (Victory, 2004)
BBMak - “Back Here” (Hollywood, 2000)
Beastie Boys - “Ch-Check It Out” (Capitol, 2004)
Belle & Sebastian - “Another Sunny Day” (Rough Trade, 2006)
Beyoncé - “Irreplaceable” (Columbia, 2006)
Big Tymers - “Project Bitch” (Cash Money, 2000)
Bill Callahan - “Jim Cain” (Drag City, 2009)
Birdman & Lil Wayne - “Stuntin’ Like My Daddy” (Cash Money, 2006)
Blacklisted - “Wish” (Deathwish, 2008)
Blink-182 - “The Rock Show” (MCA, 2001)
Boris - “Farewell” (Southern Lord, 2006)
Brand New - “Jesus Christ” (Interscope, 2006)
Burial - “Archangel” (Hyperdub, 2007)
Camera Obscura - “Forests and Sands” (4AD, 2009)
Cam’ron - “Hey Ma” (Roc-a-Fella, 2002)
Carry On - “A Life Less Plagued” (Bridge 9, 2001)
Cartel - “Honestly” (The Militia Group, 2005)
Chinoy - “Klara” (Oveja Negra, 2009)
Clipse - “We Got It For Cheap” (Re-Up, 2006)
Coheed & Cambria - “Everything Evil” (Equal Vision, 2002)
Cold Cave - “Youth and Lust” (Heartworm, 2009)
Coldplay - “Speed of Sound” (Parlophone, 2005)
Common - “Be (Intro)” (Geffen, 2005)
Daft Punk - “Digital Love” (Virgin, 2001)
Dan Andriano - “Lucky Smoke Rings” (Suburban Home, 2002)
Dashboard Confessional - “The Brilliant Dance” (Vagrant, 2001)
David Byrne & Brian Eno - “Strange Overtones” (Todo Mundo, 2008)
Death Cab for Cutie - “Marching Bands of Manhattan” (Atlantic, 2005)
Deerhunter - “Nothing Ever Happened” (Kranky, 2008)
Delorean - “Seasun” (Mushroom Pillow, 2009)
Destroyer - “Your Blood” (Merge, 2006)
Dinosaur Jr. - “I Want You to Know” (Jagjaguwar, 2009)
Dirty Projectors - “Temecula Sunrise” (Domino, 2009)
Division - “Regrets” (Sinister, 2001)
The Dodos - “Red and Purple” (Frenchkiss, 2008)
The Elected - “The Bank and Trust” (Sub Pop, 2006)
Eluvium - “Prelude for Time Feelers” (Temporary Residence, 2007)
The Ergs! - “Kind of Like Smitten” (Don Giovanni, 2005)
The Falcon - “Blackout” (Red Scare, 2006)
Fall Out Boy - “Of All the Gin Joints in the World” (Island, 2005)
Few and the Proud - “Absolute Truth” (Underground Comminique, 2006)
Fireworks - “Michigan Boys Need To Get a Clue” (Run For Cover, 2006)
The Flaming Lips - “Fight Test” (Warner Bros., 2002)
Fleet Foxes - “White Winter Hymnal” (Bella Union, 2008)
Floor - “Return to Zero” (No Idea, 2002)
The Format - “Oceans” (The Vanity Label, 2006)
Fuck Buttons - “Sweet Love for Planet Earth” (ATP, 2008)
Fucked Up - “Crusades” (Jade Tree, 2006)
The Get Up Kids - “Man of Conviction” (Vagrant, 2004)
Ghostface - “Biscuits” (Def Jam, 2004)
Girls - “Laura” (True Panther, 2009)
Grouper - “Heavy Water/I’d Rather Be Sleeping” (Type, 2008)
Guided By Voices - “Twilight Campfighter” (TVT, 2001)
Gwen Stefani - “Cool” (Interscope, 2005)
Hewhocorrupts - “Master of Profits” (Forge Again, 2002)
Hey Mercedes - “Frowning of a Lifetime” (Vagrant, 2001)
HIM - “Killing Loneliness” (Sire, 2005)
Home Grown - “Keep Your Distance” (Drive-Thru, 2004)
Hot Chip - “Ready for the Floor” (EMI, 2008)
Interpol - “Obstacle 1” (Matador, 2002)
Iyaz - “Replay” (Time, 2009)
Jack’s Mannequin - “MFEO Pt. 1 - Made for Each Other/Pt. 2 - You Can Breathe” (Maverick, 2005)
James Blackshaw - “The Cloud of Unknowing” (Tompkins Square, 2007)
Jay Reatard - “Not a Substitute” (In the Red, 2006)
Jay-Z - “Izzo (H.O.V.A.)” (Roc-a-fella, 2001)
Jimmy Eat World - “Work” (Interscope, 2004)
JJ - “From Africa to Malaga” (Sincerely Yours, 2009)
John Mayer - “Why Georgia” (Aware, 2001)
Jonathan Richman - “Vincent Van Gogh” (Vapor, 2004)
Justin Bieber - “One Time” (Island, 2009)
Kanye West - “Two Words” (Roc-a-Fella, 2004)
Keane - “Everybody’s Changing” (Island, 2004)
Kid Rock - “American Bad Ass” (Atlantic, 2000)
The Killer - “Pills” (Organized Crime, 2004)
The Killers - “Mr. Brightside” (Island, 2003)
Kings of Leon - “Use Somebody” (RCA, 2008)
The Knife - “Heartbeats” (Rabid, 2003)
LCD Soundsystem - “All My Friends” (DFA, 2007)
Lemuria - “Pants” (Asian Man, 2008)
Lifetime - “Airport Monday Morning” (Decaydance, 2007)
Lil Wayne - “Receipt” (Cash Money, 2005)
Lupe Fiasco - “Kick, Push” (1st & 15th, 2006)
M83 - “Don’t Save Us from the Flames” (Mute, 2005)
Mariah Carey - “We Belong Together” (Island Def Jam, 2005)
The Matches - “Audio Blood” (Epitaph, 2004)
Mates of State - “Parachutes” (Polyvinyl, 2003)
Mental - “Respect” (Bridge 9, 2003)
Mest - “Opinions” (Maverick, 2001)
Mew - “She Came Home for Christmas” (Sony, 2003)
MGMT - “Kids” (Columbia, 2007)
The Microphones - “I Felt Your Shape” (K, 2001)
Midlake - “Roscoe” (Bella Union, 2006)
Mike Felumlee - “Something Better” (Suburban Home, 2002)
Minus the Bear - “Absinthe Party at the Fly Honey Warehouse” (Suicide Squeeze, 2002)
Missy Elliott - “Work It” (Goldmind, 2002)
Mock Orange - “She Runs the Ride” (Lobster, 2000)
Modest Mouse - “The World at Large” (Epic, 2004)
Morrissey - “The First of the Gang to Die” (Sanctuary, 2004)
Motion City Soundtrack - “Make Out Kids” (Epitaph, 2005)
The Movielife - “Hey” (Drive-Thru, 2003)
My Chemical Romance - “Helena” (Reprise, 2004)
Nas - “Made You Look” (Ill Will, 2002)
Neil Halstead - “A Gentle Heart” (Brushfire, 2008)
Nelly - “Country Grammar” (Universal, 2000)
New Found Glory - “Dressed to Kill” (Drive-Thru, 2000)
Outkast - “Ms. Jackson” (Arista, 2000)
Owen - “The Sad Waltzes of Pietro Crespi” (Polyvinyl, 2006)
Panda Bear - “Good Girl/Carrots” (Paw Tracks, 2007)
Panic! at the Disco - “Nine in the Afternoon” (Decaydance, 2008)
Pat Metheny - “Song for the Boys” (Warner Bros., 2003)
Phoenix - “1901” (V2, 2009)
The Postal Service - “The District Sleeps Alone Tonight” (Sub Pop, 2003)
The Promise Ring - “Suffer Never” (Anti-, 2002)
Pulling Teeth - “Never Wrong” (Chainsaw Safety, 2006)
Righteous Jams - “Rage of Discipline” (Lockin’ Out, 2004)
R. Kelly - “Ignition (Remix)” (Jive, 2002)
Robert Pollard - “Weatherman and Skin Goddess” (GBV Inc., 2008)
The Rural Alberta Advantage - “In the Summertime” (Saddle Creek, 2008)
Ryan Adams - “La Cienega Just Smiled” (Lost Highway, 2001)
Saturday Looks Good to Me - “Since You Stole My Heart” (Polyvinyl, 2004)
Saves the Day - “Nightingale” (Vagrant, 2001)
Sean Lennon - “Spectacle” (Parlophone, 2006)
Sexy Kids - “Sisters Are Forever” (Slumberland, 2008)
Shipwreck - “Cavern” (Self-released, 2005)
Sigur Ros - “Glosoli” (Geffen, 2005)
Smoking Popes - “The Party’s Over” (Double Zero, 2001)
Spiritualized - “Soul on Fire” (Fontana, 2008)
Spitalfield - “I Loved the Way She Said ‘LA’” (Victory, 2003)
The Starting Line - “Up and Go” (Drive-Thru, 2002)
Straylight Run - “Existentialism on Prom Night” (Victory, 2004)
The Strokes - “Barely Legal” (RCA, 2001)
Sufjan Stevens - “The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is Out to Get Us!” (Asthmatic Kitty, 2005)
Sugarcult - “Daddy’s Little Defect” (Ultimatum, 2001)
The Suicide File - “Twilight” (Indecision, 2003)
Sunday’s Best - “Don’t Let It Fade” (Polyvinyl, 2002)
Sundowner - “Jackson Underground” (Red Scare, 2007)
Sun Kil Moon - “Glenn Tipton” (Jetset, 2003)
Taking Back Sunday - “There’s No ‘I’ in Team” (Victory, 2002)
Tear It Up - “Don’t Call Me Tonight” (Dead Alive, 2002)
The Thermals - “A Pillar of Salt” (Sub Pop, 2006)
TI - “Whatever You Like” (Grand Hustle, 2008)
Usher - “Confessions Part II” (Arista, 2004)
Vampire Weekend - “A-Punk” (XL, 2008)
The Very Best - “Angonde” (Green Owl, 2009)
Washed Out - “Feel It All Around” (Mexican Summer, 2009)
Weekend Nachos - “Necrolepsy” (Tooth Decay, 2005)
Weezer - “(If You’re Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To” (Geffen, 2009)
Wilco - “War on War” (Nonesuch, 2001)
Women - “Black Rice” (Flemish Eye, 2008)
The Wrong Side - “Feelin’ Good” (Lockin’ Out, 2004)
Yo La Tengo - “I Feel Like Going Home” (Matador, 2006)
Yeasayer - “Tightrope” (4AD, 2009)
Youth Group - “See-Saw” (Ivy League, 2004)

Am I right? Wrong? What did I miss? Comment below or send me an e-mail
newexperimentalhours@gmail.com

Leave a comment

Subscribe now

New Experimental Hours on Instagram

PAT’S eBAY CORNER

Two juggernauts of the nineties, McDonald’s and the Chicago Bulls, teamed up a bunch of times to release merch that can still be had on eBay for (relatively) cheap.

The promotion that really captured my attention as a boy involved color-changing cups featuring Dennis Rodman. The Worm’s hair changed color when cold. Sick.

These other releases are less familiar to me, and it’s a lot of fun learning of their existence. I’ve assembled the best of the bunch below.

Set of 5 Rodman cups - $39
Set of 2 Jordan cups - $25
MJ “The Blocked Shot” card - $21
MJ frisbee and squishy ball - $4
MJ stopwatch - $4
MJ’s “hand” water bottle - $40

AND NOW TO THE MAILBAG…

Loyal N.E.H. reader, Pat (no relation), asks:

“What’s your take on fake meat products imitating popular meats?”

Terrific question, Pat. I actually had a conversation about fake meats while on vacation last week, and so the subject is fresh on my mind.

I love fake meat. I didn’t become vegetarian on some “meat tastes gross” or “meat: weird texture” tip; I did it in protest of factory farming, pollution, carbon emissions, and so forth.

Fake meat seldom tastes like whatever real meat it’s trying to taste like, but I still eat it regularly. Beyond Burgers, Quorn Meatless Fillets, and Morningstar Chik Patties are among my fav products in this crowded field. I also adore Trader Joe’s soyrizo. Dear N.E.H. readers, come over sometime and eat fake meat with me!

Loyal N.E.H. reader (and contributor), Diego, asks:

“You wake up and you’re the MLB commissioner - what is the first thing you change?”

It’s no secret that baseball’s ratings and popularity have dipped in recent decades. Why would casual viewers keep tuning in with so many other entertainment options on the table? The league has tried everything from modified extra innings to an (unenforced) pitch clock to automatic intentional walks to 7-inning double headers to help move games along. Here’s the thing: these solutions don’t work, and I’m not convinced fans want shorter games anyway.

What we want is easy access to live streams. We don’t want clips. We don’t want little stat boxes. We want to be able to visit the MLB homepage and see every game going on that night, click on one of them, and be brought to a clear and dependable stream, free of charge.

What will teams do for money? Obviously, this move would be highly unpopular among owners and organizations who depend on lucrative TV deals. I hope viewership would be strong enough to convince them to stick with my plan for awhile. More eyes in front of ads means teams could charge more for ads. And maybe sell viewers’ data to some Russian political operation. I don’t know!

What I do know: baseball has stars. People say it doesn’t, but they’re wrong. Tim Anderson, Shohei Ohtani, Jose Altuve, and Fernando Tatis Jr. are stars! And there are at least a dozen other players who belong in the conversation. It’s a good time to be a baseball fan. MLB doesn’t suffer from lack of star power, but rather, lack of access. Make games easy to watch at home, and fans will return to the ballparks and sporting goods stores and preseason conventions to show love to their favorite teams…with their wallets.

I’m not saying it won’t be hard selling baseball to younger generations. It will be. No kid’s going to become a fan of the game, though, if they can’t watch the game in the first place.

Got a question? Feel free to comment on this post or e-mail me at newexperimentalhours@gmail.com. Thanks!

Have a great weekend, everybody! Thanks for tuning in!

Leave a comment

Subscribe now

New Experimental Hours on Instagram

PAT’S eBAY CORNER

The Italian fashion house, Missoni, was launched in 1953. According to fashion scholar, Wick E. Pedia, the brand peaked in the seventies, primarily on the strength of Missoni’s knitwear, which is what I’ll be talking about today.

Type vintage Missoni sweater into eBay (or Grailed, Depop, etc.) and feast your eyes on a veritable bounty of wavy, colorful sweaters from decades gone by. Missoni must have sold an effton of sweaters, and you can scoop up vintage Missoni for (relatively) cheap. The sub-line, Missoni Sport, is also worth a look. Click around, and let me know if you find anything bellissimo in your dig. Mamma mia!

Blue/brown Missoni sweater for Saks (M) - $88
Green/brown Missoni Sport sweater polo (XL) - $129
Black/white cardigan (S) - $75
Green/yellow cashmere vest (S) - $80
Purple/green mohair sweater for Harrod’s (XL) - $170

AND NOW TO THE MAILBAG…

Loyal N.E.H. Reader, Dave, asks:

”Are there songs for other seasons like fall and winter?”

Great question. As some of you will remember, last week we did a deep dive into the concept of the “song of the summer,” and so it’s only natural to wonder if other seasons have songs in the same way that summer does.

The short answer is no. By the time fall rolls around, people are eager to get back indoors, away from other humans and their influence. Music listening becomes less communal and more personal when the temperature drops. I have a ton of artists that work wonders if the fall and winter (Matt Pond PA, Joy Division, Interpol, etc.), but what I love about them (contemplative lyrics, morose vocals, etc.) turns away most listeners. And that’s fine.

Lastly, one of my working theories about songs of the summer is that they have to play well in cars with the windows down. You may hear “When Doves Cry” blasting on the streets for three straight months, but in October, the windows go up, and then you don’t really know what songs are out there, moving the masses. There’s no such thing as a “song of the winter.”

Loyal N.E.H. Reader, J M, asks:

”Are there any athletes you also like for their music? Radinsky had a few good pitching years, and Scared Straight’s “Skate to Live” on the Nardcore comp is a classic.

There are many examples of athletes who suck at music–Kobe, Shaq–but how many are actually good? Only one athlete comes to mind, and that athlete is Greg Olsen, formerly tight end for the Bears, Panthers, and Seahawks.

Greg Olsen, better known as G-reg, was part of the 7th Floor Crew, a rap group comprised of University of Miami football players. Their song, “7th Floor Crew,” is pretty weak, but G-reg’s verse is clumsy and funny and gross. I’ve listened to it a hundred times. Even today, though it’s been years since I’ve played the track, I managed to skip to within 10 seconds of his verse.

Got a question? Feel free to comment on this post or e-mail me at newexperimentalhours@gmail.com. Thanks!

I will be out of the office next week. Your regularly scheduled posts will resume when I get home. Thanks!

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

New Experimental Hours on Instagram

If you missed my interview with Rob Owens on Thursday, worry not, there’s still time to read it! Click this link, silly goose!

N.E.H. ALUMNI NEWS

Last July, I interviewed the Chicago musician, RXM Reality. I’m happy to report that RXM has a new record out on Orange Milk Records. It’s called Advent, and–spoiler alert–it is very good. You can listen to it here.

AND NOW TO THE MAILBAG…

Loyal N.E.H. Reader, Sarah, asks:

“I just saw this article, which got me thinking, what is YOUR song of summer 2021? What makes a song ‘the song of the summer?’ Over the past 3ish years, I have declared whatever Justin Bieber/Khaled bop to by my jam of the summer.”

Thanks for the question, Sarah. My song of the summer is Rob Owens’s “Revolver,” of course.

The “song of the summer” is whatever song captures the culture’s attention and imagination between April and September. Songs of the summer are typically upbeat, carefree, and positive. They are also often bad. I dove into that article you linked and and thought, you know what, I should rank all the songs of the summer. So that’s what I did. Hopefully this exercise helps answer your question.

46. The Black Eyed Peas - “I Gotta Feeling” (2009)

This might be my least favorite song ever. I hate everything about it. I’ve felt this way for 12 years. Next.

45. Katy Perry - “I Kissed a Girl” (2008)

    Another absolute stinker. I mean, what on earth. I hate Katy’s voice, I hate the music, I hate the lyrics. Throw it all in the trash.

44. LMFAO - “Party Rock Anthem” (2011)

    The fact that this isn’t on the bottom is really a testament to how bad “I Gotta Feeling” and “I Kissed a Girl” are. That being said, what a terrible song.

43. Billy Joel - “It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me” (1980)

    Billy Joel has jams. “Anthony’s Song?” Love it. “Uptown Girl?” Huge fan. “It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me?” Not so much. I’d say it’s the corniest song of the summer, but it’s impossible to say that when “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” is in contention.

42. Elton John & Kiki Dee - “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” (1976)

    So yeah, this one’s mad corny. I don’t hate the chorus, but I strongly dislike it, and everything else I could do without. Like Billy Joel, Elton’s got classic tracks. I’m mad at him for this one, though.

41. Steve Winwood - “Roll With It” (1988)

    Generic white guy throwback nonsense from a musician who should know better. Pass.

    

40. Mariah Carey - “Vision of Love” (1990)

    This song has, like, one wisp of melody. And that’s it! Don’t worry, Mariah redeems herself about a decade later.

39. Robin Thicke feat. TI & Pharrell - “Blurred Lines” (2013)

    Pharrell’s cowbell-obsessed beat manages to be intoxicating and intensely grating, all at the same time. I’d be cool never hearing this one again.

38. Matchbox Twenty - “Bent” (2000)

    Before starting this experiment, I couldn’t remember what this song sounded like. So I listened to it, and now I can’t remember what it sounds like. That’s a bad sign.

37. All-4-One - “I Swear” (1994)

    I recently texted my friend, Josh, asking a simple question: “Is All-4-One’s ‘I Swear’ a good song or a bad song?” He said it was a bad one, and you know what, I tend to agree with him.

36. Luis Fonsi & Daddy Yankee feat. Justin Bieber - “Despacito (Remix)” (2017)

    Do people actually like this? The remix sounds like 3-4 decent ideas thrown together in the editing room, and the result is a chaotic and more or less unlistenable song.

35. Iggy Azalea feat. Charli XCX - “Fancy” (2014)

    I can’t believe this wasn’t produced by DJ Mustard. He was on such a streak in 2014, and everybody stole from him. Cool beat – horrible song, though.

34. Katy Perry feat. Snoop Dogg - “California Gurls” (2010)

    First, the good: I enjoy the pre-chorus. And now, the bad: everything else.

33. Drake feat. WizKid & Kyla - “One Dance” (2016)

    Drake’s first number one. How. Some stunners that failed to top the chart: “Marvin’s Room,” “Take Care,” “Started from the Bottom,” “Hold On, We’re Going Home.” The success of “One Dance” says more about Drake’s insane hit streak up until that point than the song itself.

32. Bryan Adams - “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” (1991)

    Not a good song, but all it takes is one second of Bryan’s vocal, and I’m instantly transported back into my mom’s Ford Windstar. We’re on our way to Kohl’s. It’s the start of a new school year, and I need to try on some Unionbay shorts.

31. Survivor - “Eye of the Tiger” (1982)

    Important song, but not a good one. Big distinction.

30. Nelly Furtado feat. Timbaland - “Promiscuous” (2006)

    This track takes me back to the Clybourne. It’s Corona Night, and thus, I have spent way too much money ($15) on Corona. I dance with a random girl. It’s fine. I wait in line to pee. Also fine. I leave to get One World Pizza. Now we’re talking.

29. DaBaby feat. Roddy Ricch - “Rockstar” (2020)

    Unlike “Promiscuous,” this track leaves no impression whatsoever! I don’t think I even heard it when it came out. Who is DaBaby? I am old.

    

28. Tears For Fears - “Shout” (1985)

    From here on, every song has its strong points. I love 1985 Tears For Fears. Songs from the Big Chair? Great record! This song doesn’t do much for me, though.

27. Sir Mix-A-Lot - “Baby Got Back” (1992)

    I don’t know – it’s “Baby Got Back.” What can anybody really say? I suppose I’ll admit that I, too, like big butts.

26. Lil Nas X feat. Billy Ray Cyrus - “Old Town Road” (2019)

    I’m glad this song succeeded like it did. It was a supernova. Good for Lil Nas X. Nobody will listen to “Old Town Road” in a decade.

25. Los Del Rio - “Macarena” (1996)

    For whatever reason, people think it’s acceptable to play the “YMCA” at weddings but not the “Macarena.” Get bent!

24. Puff Daddy & Faith Evans feat. 112 - “I’ll Be Missing You” (1997)

    I really dug this when it came out. I was 11. Now, not so much.

23. Madonna - “Papa Don’t Preach” (1986)

    Madonna was on top of the world in 1986, and she got there on the backs of far superior songs to “Papa Don’t Preach.” I’m not mad at it, but it’s not her finest work by a long shot.

22. Christina Aguilera - “Genie in a Bottle” (1999)

    Of all the songs on this list, “Genie in a Bottle” sounds the most dated to me. The glitchy drums, bloopy keys, and tin can vocals sound like an Abercrombie store. “Genie” sounds like your crush running her hand through your frosted tips. That being said, when you’re 13 years old, the song of the summer seeps into you and never leaves. When I get dementia, the last thing to go will be the faint memory of “Genie in a Bottle.”

21. Drake - “In My Feelings” (2018)

    Another forgettable Drake single.

    

20. Andy Gibb - “Shadow Dancing” (1978)

    The Bee Gees were such a force in the late seventies that their younger brother Andy was able to become a star in his own right. He has a much better song on the list if you keep reading.

19. UB40 - “(I Can’t Help) Falling In Love With You” (1993)

    I hadn’t heard it in years, and I thought I’d hate it so bad. I didn’t hate it, though. This song is made for drinking piña coladas up on lido deck, your skin roasting in the sun, your paperback mystery untouched.

18. Donna Summer - “Bad Girls” (1979)

    Donna is a goddess. Her collaborators were geniuses. But this song is merely fine. I prefer “Hot Stuff.” Moving forward, however, every song is solid. We’re about to turn a corner.

17. The Police - “Every Breath You Take” (1983)

    I’d love to hear it with fresh ears, but even in its overplayed state, “Every Breath You Take” is a kickass tune.

16. Beyonce feat. Jay-Z - “Crazy in Love” (2003)

    Kathy hates this song, but I don’t.

15. Rihanna feat. Jay-Z - “Umbrella” (2007)

    The song that launched Rihanna into rare air. Pretty undeniable track, right? The chorus is so damn catchy. Also, I’m just acquainting myself with Tricky Stewarts production discography, and wow, dude has written some hits.

14. Brandy & Monica - “The Boy Is Mine” (1998)

    Hard to overstate how big this song was. Huge! And that side-scrolling video? Iconic! For the record, I’m on Team Monica.

13. Richard Marx - “Right Here Waiting” (1989)

    Another Ford Windstar jam. If you should ever find yourself with a mullet and a billowing man-blouse, you have Richard Marx to thank. A definitive adult contemporary power ballad.

12. Heart - “Alone” (1987)

    Heart was so bad they were good. I love “Alone.” It’s cheesy, over-the-top, hyper-melodic junk food music.

    

11. Usher - “U Remind Me” (2001)

    I think it’s time we give Usher the credit he deserves. At his peak, Usher was a powerhouse who fed us one gold-plated hit after another, and yeah, we ate it up and made him filthy rich, but he still seems sorta underrated. You might not remember “U Remind Me” all that well, but put it on and you’ll see. Big track.

10. Rick Springfield - “Jessie’s Girl” (1981)

    Everybody knows the monster chorus of “Jessie’s Girl,” but the verses are low-key excellent, and the guitars sound crunchy and perfect.

    

9. The Eagles - “One of the These Nights” (1975)

   According to Insider, this was the first song of the summer. The Eagles rule, and if you disagree, then I guess you don’t care much for the Eagles.

8. Carly Rae Jepsen - “Call Me Maybe” (2012)

   This song crushes at a wedding.

7. OMI - “Cheerleader” (2015)

   UB40’s Elvis cover (#19) scans as reggae I guess, but it took 40 years for a Jamaica to produce a SOTSS (Song of the Summer Singer). That’s just not right! Bob Marley was right there.

6. TLC - “Waterfalls” (1995)

   As a kid, I’d watch VH1 hoping to catch the “Waterfalls” video. TLC turned into waterfalls–like literal waterfalls–in it. So badass! Yeah this track’s a gem, and if you disagree, you are wrong.

   

5. Nelly - “Hot In Herre” (2002)

   The first number #1 from the Neptunes. What a beat. Nelly surfs it like a doggone Beach Boy, backwards Rams jersey and all.

   Want a little bit of ah ah / And a little bit of ah ah.

4. Andy Gibb - “I Just Want To Be Your Everything” (1977)

   Expensive heartthrob disco pop from a singer who died tragically young.

3. Mariah Carey - “We Belong Together” (2005)

   My big MMM (Marian Carey Memory) is of watching her episode of Cribs as a boy. I was spellbound and puzzled and disgusted by her closet of heels. Mariah finishes the episode in a towel, in the bath. That was cool, I guess. Not sure where I’m going with this. I guess I’ll say that having a closet just for your shoes is weird, no matter how rich you are.

   Mariah got that rich by being a once-in-a-generation talent, and “We Belong Together” is a big part of her story. Her “comeback” single (ha) spent 14 weeks at #1. It’s fabulous.

2. Usher - “Confessions Part II” (2004)

   Usher is a living legend, and his 2004 SOTS, “Confessions Part II” isn’t even the best song on its album. (That would be either “Burn” or “Yeah!”) This would easily be my top pick if not for…

   

1. Prince - “When Doves Cry” (1984)

   “When Doves Cry” is Prince’s best song, the best song of the ‘80s, and the best song of the summer. He wins the music triple crown. Good job, Prince.

   Got a question? Feel free to comment on this post or e-mail me at newexperimentalhours@gmail.com. Thanks!

   ---

   Another SEFM (Saturday Edition of the Friday Mailbag) bites the dust! Have a great Fourth, be safe, and stop blowing shit up at a reasonable hour. Thanks!

   Leave a comment

   Subscribe now

   New Experimental Hours on Instagram

Robbie and I used to work together at an outdoor apparel store (guess which one). When we weren’t selling parkas, we’d talk music, style, sports, you name it. I knew he could sing, and I knew he could rap, but I was not remotely prepared for “Revolver,” his debut track as Rob Owens. I immediately threw the song on my FAVS 2021 playlist. I’ve listened to it over and over for about a month, and let me tell you, it’s a contender for Song of the Year.

You know I love talking music, and so I simply had to get Robbie on the line. He answered all my questions about “Revolver” – and then some. Stick around for his thoughts on Gwen Stefani, denim, and Jimi Hendrix. Alright, let’s go!

When you began writing “Revolver,” did you set out to make the song of the summer, or did that happen on accident?

When I first sat down to write this song, I was all kinds of upset, and I wanted to channel those emotions into something tangible that just about everyone has dealt with – or will eventually deal with (spoilers). As time went on, of course I no longer felt the same, and I wanted this song to hold a space that feels really good to know what it’s like to feel, well, bad! Owning all of your emotions makes it possible to be more of yourself than you ever were before. In short, it was an absolute accident because most of the writing and recording was done in the winter, but listening to it only sounded like summer so I just WAITED! It was the worst but it gave me time to tweak and tweak and tweak, haha.

The track has a bit of everything. Did you start with the raps, singing, music? Does one come more naturally than the other? 

It’s a new thing every time, I’m always being told to write as much as possible which can be frustrating because it’s hard to hit a goal you can’t see! What speaks to me now is to hear something, and then write to whatever the beat brings out of me. For this one in particular, I started with the hook, and it came to me as soon as I heard the first iteration of the instrumental. It sounded painfully poppy, and it wasn’t my goal at all. It was just exciting to have something to actually work on for once! Eventually the raps came in after, even some rewrites, and then when I got the final version of the instrumental, I made sense of the million bridges I added towards the second half of the song. Madness, that’s my process. 

Toward the end of “Revolver,” you name drop one of my favorite songs, Gwen Stefani’s “Cool.” I really admire Gwen’s perspective on that track. She’s clearly been through hell with this guy, but she takes the high road. It’s a surprisingly mature lyric.

What lyricists have inspired you as of late, especially during the making of your song? And what’s it like putting vulnerable lyrics out into the world?

First, I gotta say I really really love her and No Doubt as well. That song is so good because of exactly what you’re saying! It’s a song about heartbreak but with a healthy serving of “I’m healing too.” Throughout the song, I’m going through the stages of grief and that part of the song is the point of clarity, like yes, it isn’t going to work, but I know my worth and I know that sometimes you gotta love people from a distance.

When it comes to lyricists, I really love the playful marriage of wordplay and the “conversational.” Of course I have to say Kanye, I actually play on a few of his lines over the years in this song too. Another I was for sure channeling was Andre. He’s the best in my eyes. The way he can maneuver through a verse always gives you that feeling that he’s not captive to the beat, it’s actually captive to him! That’s the goal for this one and hopefully I can continue to do that moving forward. 

Switching gears, tell me about the “Reaver” jeans you recently unveiled. 

Aw man, those are the future, really. It all started in 2016 when I was gifted this beautiful pair of patched up pants. You’ve seen em. Basically I always ripped them doing dumb things so I kept asking friends to fix them and after a while they were unwearable (I’ll get em fixed again lol). One night i was looking at them to see if i can replicate the pair and then that took me to thrift stores since i knew they’d have something at least similar to that style. I did my best to replicate what I liked but it just didn’t seem right. Got frustrated, and then threw em in bleach bc why not haha. That was august of 2019! From there I started to make them for friends and it just kept picking up! The name didn’t come until about a month or two ago. Came from a PS1 game that I loved as a kid. What spoke to me was the story and just his look all around. So dope even now. Need the reboot!

While we’re on the subject of music and clothing: top 3 most stylish musicians (past or present)?

You just asked one of the toughest questions possible, and I’m here to say that there’s no right answer. BUT!!! For me, there are a special few people that I really resonate with for inspiration.

Firstly, I’ll go with Jimi. There’s nothing like that man, before or after him. The ‘60s and ‘70s were full of colors and form fitting clothing, natural hair, and a ton of individuality; especially from the man himself. Everyone I mention understands that style isn’t something that you just pick up one day, it’s more of who you are on a daily basis, and how you approach just about every aspect of life. After hearing Jimi’s music, you just know without even looking at a picture of him that he has to be somebody that really understands himself on a high level, which naturally translates to a good sense of personal style. Need some good boots now that you got me goin lol. 

Quick example on style being not just clothes/music: As a kid and to this day, I am SURGICAL with how I make my PB&Js. Why? Because it feels right to hit every single piece of the bread leaving no room for anything but what’s intended. I used to get ragged on by my mom for taking so long making it, but every time I did, it felt right, and it was done how I saw fit. Aka, style my friend.

Moving on… Andre 3000.

Now I know I just said no one is like Jimi yeah yeah yeah, well if there’s one person that is just as much of an alien as Hendrix, it’s Andre. I feel like he picked up right where Jimi left off and really pushed the boundaries on what a black man (especially from the south) can and should look like. From wearing cropped tees, tall ass boots with the heel, and even turbans, Andre did only what felt like what was right to him, and because of that, it was to no surprise that he is an absolute menace when it comes to delivery and lyricism in his music.

Lastly, it’s a 2-way tie between Pharrell and Kanye. I’M SORRY! Both are so so important to me. They both have really paved the way for all of the left-of-center kids that didn’t really care to be put in a box of any kind. It’s not exciting and it takes away from your sense of true individuality. Challenging the status quo consistently, wearing the skinny jeans, the pink polo, going to PARIS, these guys were some of the first examples that I really paid attention to at a very young age. If you think about how influential these two are on not only style via archive pages, their runs with various brands, and of course their music, there really aren’t too many artists (especially those who come from rap backgrounds) who haven’t taken inspiration from these legendary individuals. I can write forever about my love for the two of them. 

Great answers. I need to dig a little deeper into the Jimi Hendrix style archive... Before I let you go, what's on the horizon? You got any new music in the works?

The horizon? Well, I got plans for another release for the Reavers coming this summer, very crazy stuff. I might have told you about it in person but for now it’s a secret otherwise. 

As for music, we’re gonna do a video for “Revolver” very soon, I got plans for an album later this year too. That’ll be the focus from now on. 

It’s summer time in Chicago! Not a better place and time on the planet. I gotta hit the beach, keep myself in shape looking good, all that. Looking forward to seeing shows more than anything. Nothing like a good sweat.

Any last words?

Thank you for having me! It’s been great getting to know you and what you’re about. 

Life is great right now, stream “Revolver,” show your friends, show grandparents, anyone with ears. But yeah this is fun. By this time next year I’m sure we’ll have so much more to talk about, too!

Follow Rob on Instagram
Stream “Revolver”

AND AS ALWAYS, BE SURE TO SUBSCRIBE and DROP A COMMENT BELOW!

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

New Experimental Hours on Instagram

PAT’S eBAY CORNER

I love amusement parks, and I love amusement park merch. My park of choice is Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, IL. There are so many rides at Great America, and every year, they release like ten garments per ride, resulting in the most heinous, hilarious, dated, and delightful clothing. I already own a bunch of Six Flags merch, but as a service to my readers, I’ve picked out some hats currently being offered on the world wide web. Bid hard.

Vintage Captain’s Hat - $12
Vintage Satiny Mesh Trucker Hat - $11
Vintage Highlighter Yellow Hat - $30
Trashed American Eagle Hat - $40
White Foam Trucker Hat - $40

DON’T FORGET TO READ THIS WEEK’S STORY ON THE BEACH BOYS - AMERICA’S FINEST BAND COMPRISED ENTIRELY OF BOYS

LINK LINK LINK

AND NOW TO THE MAILBAG…

Loyal N.E.H. reader, Christine, asks:

“This is so typical, but since food is the great equalizer… last meal?”

Great question, Aunt Christine. I’ve written about pizza before, and guess what, I’m writing about it again. Because my last meal would definitely be a big ol’ pizza pie. And not just any pie, but a pie from Papa’s Pizza Place in the fine town of Woodridge, Illinois. Best thin crust pizza in the Chicagoland area. Gimme half cheese, half green pepper-and-onion with some Marconi giardiniera on the side. Plus a 4-pack of Daisy Cutter and a 2-liter of Coke. If I can get all this, I’ll leave the earthly plane a happy man.

Got a question? Feel free to comment on this post or e-mail me at newexperimentalhours@gmail.com. Thanks!

Just one question today, folks. Kathy and I are watching a (not very good) show on Netflix called Get Organized with The Home Edit. Did you know Khloe Kardashian appreciates an organized garage? Wow, cool. Glad we’ve watched all eight hour-long episodes.

Leave a comment

Subscribe now

New Experimental Hours on Instagram

Some boys write songs about love; some boys write songs about hate. And then there are the boys who write songs about the beach, the most famous example being The Beach Boys, a group of boys that rose to prominence in the 1960s.

The story of the Beach Boys is well known. I don’t need to tell you about their fondness of beaches, surfing, cars, or girls, but I do feel a certain obligation to share photos from the Beach Boys style archive with you. The Beach Boys were low-key style gods, and by the end of this entry, I hope to elevate them to the status of high-key style gods. Let us begin.

The Beach Boys were originally called The Pendletones. They were named after Pendleton, an Oregon brand known for their woolen surfer shirts and appropriating Native art.

Take a good hard look at our boys. Now here are some youngsters who have never really surfed, shifted (in a hot rod), or scored (with the ladies). Nevertheless, they are about to lie and say they have, and the music will be so good that nobody will care that they are lying.

From the outset, the Beach Boys preferred to wear more casual clothes. When they did dress up, the results weren’t good. I don’t know who orchestrated this photo shoot, but he should be fired. Get these boys back into some striped shirts, goshdamnit.

That’s better. When you think of the Beach Boys, this is probably what you think of. Striped shirts tucked into chinos. Always short-sleeved, always with a couple buttons popped. Wholesome and handsome. With some subtle tweaks (wider pants, for example), this uniform would look dashing in today’s nostalgia-obsessed Instaworld.

Around this time, the boys were absolutely churning out hits. “Surfin’ Safari,” “I Get Around,” “Be True To Your School,” to name a few. Some of my favorite songs of all time! But in a couple years, they’d stop writing about the beach altogether and embark on their second–and strongest–chapter as a band.

When they weren’t in the studio recording pocket symphonies, the Beach Boys were on the road, touring the United States. That’s when their off the clock fits really started to pop. Look at the outerwear! Carl and Al both rock double-breasted coats with big ol’ collars, and Brian’s coat has a monstrous fur ruff. But it’s Dennis and Mike who steal the show. I have recently converted from leather jacket hater to leather jacket agnostic, and it’s pieces like these that made it happen. Mike Love, despite his reputation, is easily the most stylish Beach Boy. Every element of his outfit works in harmony (heh), resulting in an airport fit for the ages.

In 1966, the Beach Boys released their landmark album, Pet Sounds. Audiences didn’t appreciate it at the time, and maybe that’s because they couldn’t turn their attention from the boys’ impeccable fits. Carl, cosplaying as an IT guy, is the obvious weak link, but the rest of the guys are killing it, plain and simple. Brian has found the perfect pea coat, Dennis has found the perfect vest, and Mike has found the perfect trousers. It’s Al, though, who steals the spotlight in white slip-ons, royal trousers, and a terrific brown blazer. That collar!

Not long after, the band began to splinter. Mike seized control of the group while Brian retreated from public and creative life. “Now who’s that guy on the left?” You ask. That’s Bruce Johnston, a musician who took over on bass for Brian. He’s been a member of the Beach Boys, on and off, for over 50 years. He almost never gets fits off.

There’s plenty of good music from this era–Friends, 20/20, and Sunflower all come to mind. Plenty of good fits from this era, too. Terrific fits! The pants, collars, sleeves, hair, and beards were all growing at breakneck speeds. Al is still on his A-game, wearing striped trousers and a coat with a popped collar. Mike, with his purple shirt and ascot, has never looked dandier. Carl is finally stepping out, too. He’s got rich guy energy, and he isn’t afraid to show it. I love this picture.

Another standout pic, this time from 1969’s 20/20. Al Jardine! Keep blessing us with your essence, Al. Mike is wearing the same purple shirt, this time without a scarf. Bruce’s suede jacket and yellow scarf really pop, but that grin kind of kills it. No smiling, Bruce! This is post-Pet Sounds Beach Boys. You can’t smile. Dennis and Carl look okay.

Things are getting weird around here! With his long hair, beard, and occult shirt, Mike is the focal point of this haunted pic. Brian, standing behind him in white, looks lost. Lastly, Dennis finally puts up a W by wearing a tailored but mismatched suit and dreamboat stare.

Mike Love, man. What goes on inside that man’s head when it comes time to pose? He always looks so mad! I do enjoy his robe/sweater/kimono and dusty chukkas. Unfortunately Al, center, has really fallen off, while Dennis (right) can’t seem to miss. Bruce, wearing a striped tee and perfect pair of bellbottoms, scores a rare goal.

It’s 1976. Oh boy. What is going on here. Oh man.

The good: Brian is back, and his shirt kicks ass. The bad: We can’t see Dennis’s outfit, which probably whoops ass, too. The ugly: everything else, especially Al’s western shirt. I’m starting to feel worried. Does the Beach Boys style record end in the seventies?

Maybe! It’s 1978, and Brian, Al, and Carl all shoot air balls, while Mike’s on the bench with his dumb fedora. Dennis’s fit rocks, though. I see a theme emerging. Dennis, the rebellious late bloomer, finally comes into his own–style and otherwise–by decade’s end.

This is the look of a band that’s seen the inside of one too many state fairgrounds. Let’s move it right along.

When Our Boys of the Beach scored their last number one hit in 1988, they looked like this. Velcro sneakers, bad satin, and whatever it is that Mike’s wearing. Mike has much better hats in his arsenal. He still wears one practically every day. He often wears Beach Boys hats. Wearing your own band’s merch! Underrated.

Unfortunately, there are many, many photos of Mike Love hamming it up with Donald Trump. I won’t include them in this hallowed space. Instead, I leave you with a picture of the Beach Boys in all their glory. They’re one of my favorite groups, and I hope I’ve convinced you, dear reader, of their style excellence as well. Sail on, sailor.

Just kidding!

Leave a comment

Subscribe now

New Experimental Hours on Instagram

PAT’S eBAY CORNER

In weeks past, I’ve shared my love for stickers and cheap eBay come-ups. Well, today is no different. Today, we’re talking band stickers.

Back in the day–and even now, to an extent–record labels would make stickers to celebrate the release of albums. The labels would send stickers to record stores, concert venues, “street teams,” and so on, in hopes of drumming up enthusiasm for a project. Most stickers wound up on skateboards, laptops, school lockers, and light posts, but some never got used. And some are currently for sale on eBay.

In case you can’t tell, I’ve narrowed my search to include only stickers from the venerable pop-punk label, Drive-Thru Records. Bid hard.

The Starting Line - Say It Like You Mean It - $4
New Found Glory - Sticks and Stones - $5
Home Grown - Kings of Pop - $3
Allister - Before the Blackout - $2
Finch - What It Is To Burn - $4
Midtown - Living Well is the Best Revenge - $7

^^ If you like frosted tips, teen parties, and old pop-punk merch, you really gotta watch this ^^

AND NOW TO THE MAILBAG…

Loyal N.E.H. reader, Charles, asks:

“Does having a kid(s) make you feel like a true adult?”

Great question, Charles. Technically, I’ve been an adult for 16 years, but for how long have I been a “true adult?” Have I ever been a true adult? What even is a true adult?

I think I understand what you’re getting at. For better or worse, here are some “true adult” milestones:

• Career

• Homeownership

• Marriage

• Parenthood

So I’ve done most of these things, but all the while, I’ve felt like an imposter of sorts. This is because I’m an immature, emotionally stunted buffoon who more or less skates by.

But! But… Parenthood is slowly moving me toward my end goal, which is to become a better, “truer” adult. Parenthood is this great equalizer that obliterates your ego, rendering you defeated, humble, more self-assured, and less concerned with childish nonsense like attention, praise, having the cool new sneaker (as if such a thing exists), being “up on” the celebs who got cancelled for defending other cancelled celebs, etc..

So in a sense, yes, having kids makes me feel like a true adult. But it also makes me feel incompetent. Whenever I learn some parenting skill, my kids inevitably grow, and then some new issue presents itself, requiring more of my attention and work. It’s exhausting! But I guess this is growing up.

Loyal N.E.H. reader, Marc, asks:

“If ‘Forget Me Too’ came out when you were 17, how big of a Machine Gun Kelly fan would you be?”

Terrific question, Marc. I admit that, until today, I was only vaguely aware of Machine Gun Kelly. But I did my research, read some of his Wiki, and most importantly, listened to “Forget Me Too,” and I’ve got to say, I’m not mad at the song or MGK. It’s perfectly acceptable pop-punk. It sounds like Paramore. But would I have liked it at 17? That’s another question entirely.

At 17, I was a real brat about music. I had extremely narrow tastes and drew arbitrary lines in the sand between me and certain artists. Good Charlotte were posers, but Simple Plan had tracks. I couldn’t abide Hawthorne Heights because of their “screamy” parts, but I loved Converge. And so on. Truthfully, I just wanted to be cool, and when you’re 17, being cool means hating stuff.

So to answer your question, I would’ve hated MGK when I was 17. Too mainstream, too digestible. At 34, however, I admit I enjoyed the tune. It’s catchy, well-produced, and reminds me of being 17. Oh, the irony.

Got a question? Feel free to comment on this post or e-mail me at newexperimentalhours@gmail.com. Thanks!

Well, that’s it. Another reflective, pop-punk-leaning entry in the bag. Father’s Day is on Sunday, and next week marks the start of summer break. Crazy! Until then!

Leave a comment

Subscribe now

New Experimental Hours on Instagram

PAT’S eBAY CORNER

There’s a very real phenomenon of adults buying the toys/shoes/clothes they wanted when they were kids but couldn’t afford or weren’t allowed to have or whatever. I hear it all the time with Air Jordans. “My parents would never drop a hundred bucks on a pair of shoes.” You know what…fair!

Luckily, a lot of this junk has made its way onto the secondhand market. Take, for example, Spin Fighters. Spin Fighters–I’ve always called them Battle Tops–are 1” die-cast tops that you launch into a plastic arena (or in my case, onto the floor or a dinner plate). They’re sparkly. They spin really fast. They fight each other. I was deeply impressed with Spin Fighters as a kid. My sister and I would stage elaborate tournaments. They’re one of the only toys I saved. My kids dig them, too.

Sadly, I never owned the plastic arena. My launchers kind of suck now, too; I think the springs have worn down. And I had a bunch of tops, but I always wondered what other characters were out there. So I decided to fire up the ol’ eBay machine and search “Spin Fighters.” Wow, crazy! You can scoop up a pretty serious Spin Fighters collection for under $100–and in the original packaging, too. But don’t just take my word for it. Click the links. And as always, bid hard.

Launcher & King Sphinx top - $10
Pink & Green Ranger tops - $3
Blue & Red Ranger tops - $4
Megazord & Pineoctopus (in package) - $5
Lot of 14 (in package) - $30
Battle Arena (in package) - $70
50 Packs of Power Rangers/Street Fighters tops (in package) - $125
Complete Tournament Set - $200

AND NOW TO THE MAILBAG…

Loyal N.E.H. reader, Marc, asks:

“Are you loving the Sox City Connect uniforms?”

Thank you for the question, Marc. No, I am not loving the Sox City Connect uniforms. I’m not liking them, either, or even tolerating them. Because they are not good. They are, in fact, bad.

And it’s a shame because the designers nailed certain elements of the uniform. I like the fabric they used. The pinstripes look great. Ditto the piping on the sleeves.

That font, though. Man… I just can’t. It’s got this Ed Hardy/Affliction energy that’s very hard on the eyes. And does anybody actually wear garments with “Southside” printed on them? Not in my experience. I’m not sure who the intended audience is for this product. Maybe some suburban bro who knows the names of MMA fighters and has an enormous jug of protein powder on top of the fridge and is seriously thinking of getting his nipple pierced for the summer. Pass.

Loyal N.E.H. reader, J M, asks:

“I’m looking at the new Sox uniform and wondering what your least favorite MLB uniforms are (historical or present is fine).”

Thank you for the question, J M. Lots of interest in baseball unis this week!

The consensus pick for worst uniform seems to be the White Sox uniforms from 1976. You know, the ones with the collars and shorts. I happen to like that design, though. It’s zany, very ‘70s, and downright hilarious.

My least favorite current uniforms belong to the Arizona Diamondbacks. I’ve pretty much always hated this club’s aesthetic, and very little changed ahead of the 2021 season. Get a load of these things. The away uni is so boring, and despite using the shorter D-Backs, somehow the home uni is boring, too. Just a whole lot of boring, plus bad fonts and color combos and logos. Yuck.

The worst-ever uniforms come courtesy of the Cleveland Indians. First of all, screw them. Their team name and logo are racist garbage, we all know this. And they somehow found a way to botch what should’ve been a bulletproof color scheme of maroon, white, and navy. Look at these unis from the early aughts. They’re just brutal. Blinding white vests with Chief Wahoo on the chest and some dumb ass piping along the placket. They wore ‘em for, like, 4-5 seasons before moving into another pathetic era of uniform design. Cleveland sucks.

Got a question? Feel free to comment on this post or e-mail me at newexperimentalhours@gmail.com. Thanks!

Thanks for joining me today! Have a great weekend. Watch some baseball.

Leave a comment

Subscribe now

New Experimental Hours on Instagram

PAT’S eBAY CORNER

If you’re anything like me, you spent your childhood summers floating around the pool, listening to Jimmy Buffett’s extensive catalog on cassette and compact disc.

And if you’re anything like me, you attended your fair share of Buffett concerts over the years, acquiring shirts here and there. These shirts have informed your style to an alarming degree.

Oh! And suppose you are like me. Lucky you, that means you regularly check eBay for vintage Buffett shirts. Cool, man. Good way to spend your time and money.

If you aren’t like me, worry not, you can always take a page from my playbook and cop a Buffett grail on the ‘bay. But remember: vintage shirts tend to run small. Either we’ve gotten fatter, or the shirts have shrunk. Or both. Don’t hesitate to size up.

My current size: L / My vintage size: XL-XXL. Bid hard.

Banana Wind (L) - $23
Boats, Beaches, Bars, & Ballads (XL) - $25
Carnival (XL) - $54
Cheeseburger in Paradise (S) - $19
Domino College (XL) - $30
Fruitcakes (L) - $37
Hot Water (XL) - $75
University of Margaritaville (M) - $150

AND NOW TO THE MAILBAG…

Loyal N.E.H. reader and contributor, Diego, asks:

“What’s a movie or TV show you loved in your youth that hasn’t held up?”

I have an unusual relationship with The Simpsons. There was a brief window in time–probably when I was 12 or 13–that The Simpsons was my favorite show on earth. I watched it almost every night before dinner. FOX would air two episodes, and because this was 1998, the chances of seeing a classic were far greater.

The internet circa 2021 is basically a repository for Simpsons GIFs, screenshots, memes, and quotes. I “get” a lot of them, but they don’t tug on my heartstrings or trigger some nostalgic response or whatever. I haven’t watched an episode–old or new–in many years. Maybe I’m afraid of what I’ll discover: that The Simpsons isn’t for me anymore.

Maybe it all boils down to one personality quirk/flaw: I don’t like “adult” cartoons. I tried watching BoJack Horseman and could not hang. People are constantly recommending Adventure Time. No, thanks. And who would go out of their way to watch Bob’s Burgers? I’m puzzled by these people, but I don’t begrudge them their animated shows. I’m the one who’s damaged.

Sorry that this doesn’t really answer your question, but my more obvious answers–Independence Day, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, Full House–seem too easy. Of course those haven’t held up. By all metrics, The Simpsons is still an important, relevant, and above all else, funny television show. To me, however, it has not held up.

Loyal N.E.H. reader, Pat (no relation), asks:

“What have you enjoyed the most about your clothing retail jobs?”

First, the people. It’s cliche but true. I’ve met a lot of friends at work, and many of them have helped me become a better salesman.

I also enjoy seeing what people actually buy versus what I think they’ll buy. The garments that really move me–specifically, bold “statement” pieces–tend to gather dust, while staples like henleys and polos perform well. Men are so buttoned up. We gravitate toward what we know (in terms of dress, anyway). I think that’s changing to an extent, especially for younger men. And I welcome it! But in the end, the way to make commission is not by pushing $300 camp shirts that have been hand-dipped in indigo. Stuff like that has a specific audience, and if you’re a member of that audience, you already know it and don’t need to be sold. The average guy just wants to buy a flattering t-shirt, a pair of chinos, and a soft crewneck. Nothing wrong with that, really. In the words of Simon & Garfunkel, I’m “just trying to keep my customers satisfied.”

Got a question? Feel free to comment on this post or e-mail me at newexperimentalhours@gmail.com. Thanks!

Have a nice Memorial Day weekend, friends! See you soon!

Leave a comment

Subscribe now

New Experimental Hours on Instagram

I’ve written about Sox style a handful of times in this webspace, but now it’s time I devote an entry or two to my beloved team’s storied uniform history.

The Early Years: 1900-1911

The year is 1900. America’s second largest city, Chicago, has ~1.7 million residents and two baseball clubs: the Chicago Orphans and the Chicago White Stockings. Somewhat confusingly, the Orphans were called the White Stockings until 1889, when they changed their name to the Colts. The White Stockings are a new team on the south side, and in four years, they’ll change their name to the White Sox. The Orphans will do the same, only they’ll become the Cubs. Chicago baseball: get your shit together!

In 1901, the White Stockings won the American League pennant. (There was no World Series until 1903.) They wore boring-ass uniforms with a blocky C logo and spread collars. I do appreciate the short, soft-brimmed caps. Have no fear, dear reader, things will improve (uniform-wise) for our underachieving south siders.

In 1906, the White Sox won their first World Series despite hitting .230 as a club. Their nickname? The Hitless Wonders. The nickname does not apply to apparel. Take a look at their outstanding road uniforms. I love a deep placket. I also love pinstripes on a cap. They wore these unis to away games for like 15 years.

Unfortunately, it took the Sox awhile to get their home unis dialed in. This jersey from 1910-11 is of minimal interest. Yes, I love a deep placket. No, I don’t love whatever is happening here.

1912-1932: finally, a good home uniform

In 1912, the Sox debuted a home uniform they’d go on to wear for 20 years (with minor adjustments, of course). Look at that beautiful logo. Look at those pinstripes. Squint a little, and it’s not hard to detect a line from these uniforms to the ones we wear today.

After the Black Sox scandal was made public in 1920, the White Sox sucked for like 15 years. Look at those sour pusses! Look at that socially distanced crowd. Rough time to be a Sox fan.

The ‘26 White Sox finished 9.5 games out of first place, but they won the (arguably more important) championship of hats. The crossed “socks” hat - what a freaking classic. Stop what you’re doing and cop this gem here.

Imagine: your homie calls letting you know he’s got two tickets to the White Sox game. In your excitement, you forget to ask him how he plans on getting to the stadium. Dumbass. Phone calls are expensive. You call back and agree to take a streetcar. When you arrive at the park, both of you are grumpy, but those frowns turn right back around when you see the beautiful new hats your team is wearing. Tomorrow’s shift at Illinois Steel won’t suck so bad.

1926 - Cool hats, cool trolleys, cool cars. What could go wrong?

I’ll close this entry with a picture of the White Sox circa 1930. 1932 is right around the corner, and the uniform debuted that year will dictate the team’s graphic design for years to come. What the hell, here’s a preview.

The depression, second world war, and shorts! Three rough global developments. Next time, we’re talking Sox style 1931-1981.

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

New Experimental Hours on Instagram