I was at physical therapy recently and cried for about 20 minutes of the one-hour session. I couldn’t stop the tears, and I didn’t want to. I wasn’t hysterically crying, but more so allowing emotions that felt stuck to flow from my body in the form of tears and exaggerated breaths.

My physical therapist, who could have doubled as a mental health therapist, noticed what was happening. She told me that this was actually quite normal for women coming to physical therapy for pelvic floor issues. She said many of the women who get emotional usually had a C-section, as I did.

Not only did I have two C-Sections, but I also had exploratory surgery after a bad bicycle accident when I was 18 years old. I was bleeding internally, and the doctors needed to find the source quickly before I bled out. They made a large incision from top to bottom of my core. My abdominal muscles have been through a lot of trauma.

After all of my surgeries, I came back too quickly and didn’t give myself time to heal properly. My body just pushed through while carrying an enormous amount of trauma. For years, it didn’t seem to be a problem. I just had weak abs. I came to terms with the fact that I would never be able to do Pilates and moved on.

But eventually, my body was feeling it in other ways. My back pain increased and began impacting my lifestyle. I was constipated for the first time in my life. I had unexplained hip pain. I would wake up in the middle of the night with pain from a full bladder. And of course, there was urine leaking when I sneezed, which I thought was just normal for my age.

I sought out many doctors and specialists. All my tests, labs, and exams were normal. I was told to eat more fiber. But I wasn’t fine. That is when I realized that a weak pelvic floor is about more than Kegel exercises. The symptoms that women can experience from pelvic floor weakness or imbalances are vast.

In the past, I completed ab workouts and cheated my way through them. Instead of using my abs, I used my legs and back. I knew my abs were weak, but never once did any doctor mention that my pelvic floor might be part of the problem. Not the OB/GYN, not the gastroenterologist, not the primary doctor, even though this should have been their first recommendation because of the many surgeries I had. I arrived at it through my own research. I had no idea that pelvic floor influenced so many things.

So back to physical therapy…

Probably 90% of physical therapy patients need to be pushed. They need exercises that push them to get stronger quicker, but for me, it was different. After being an athlete and military member for so many years, I am programmed to push through pain and exhaustion and perform. This was effective in the past, but now, things are different. That is the opposite of what I needed. I needed highly focused exercises that targeted my pelvic floor, so I couldn’t cheat. I immediately saw a difference in all of my symptoms.

Then I started working with a physical therapist who wanted to push me harder, and I regressed. I also stopped crying during my sessions. My symptoms returned. I was going back to my old ways – pushing through the pain, compensating for the weak pelvic floor, overriding them.

I had a chat with the lead therapists in tears. I said, “I can’t be pushed like that. I need my body to lead, and it will probably take longer, but I really need to do this at my body’s pace.” She understood and ensured we could slow down the pushing, target the weak muscles more, and also ensured I never get that other therapist again. Interestingly, it is exhausting for me to do the pelvic floor exercises even though some of them look like I am just lying on the floor. But since I am back on track, my body is feeling good again.

Why am I sharing this?

This is a reminder to all of us to let your body lead. It has all the intelligence needed. I also wanted to share my experience with pelvic floor PT and what symptoms led me to this specific type of PT. If one person gets insight and relief from this, I will be so happy.

We need to talk about this stuff rather than suffering alone with doctors who aren’t helpful. Lastly, remember, the body keeps score, and as we work on healing the body, emotions could be released, and that is completely normal.

I had a great workout the other day and got in my car, tired from the exercise but also felt powerful. I felt like my root chakra, where my body feels personal power, got lit up! It felt so good. No doctor or drug did that. I did it (with the help of two amazing physical therapists!). I am healing my body and finding my power again.

One story in particular got to me – the treatment of our military deployed on the ship, the USS Abraham Lincoln, where six sailors attempted to jump overboard to escape the conditions after an extended period underway without a port call. This one broke my heart in half. How can this happen?

Then immediately I went into action. I wanted to learn more about what was happening, draw more attention to the issue, and possibly propose solutions. I felt like I wanted to go all in on this. Then I realized that every day there is another issue, another injustice, another cause that deserves attention. I cannot possibly do a deep dive into all of them.

A few years ago, I was working as a contractor for the Department of the Treasury. I needed a speaker for Women’s History Month and reached out to Nicole Malachowski, a military woman who had broken some serious glass ceilings during her career as the first woman Air Force Thunderbird pilot. She respectfully declined, stating that she is only focusing her time, energy, and speaking on three specific topics or causes.

At first, I thought, wow, it must be nice to have so many people reaching out that you have to turn down speaking gigs. While this is probably true (and I celebrate her for it!), there was another reason. She clearly identified the causes she was passionate about and went all in on advocating for them and only them. I love this, and it has stuck with me.

So it got me thinking: what are my top three passions, truly? And once defined, how can I focus only on those?

There have been, and will be, many shiny objects that show up in my life and lure me in, but they may not fully align with my passions. Saying no to those projects doesn’t mean I don’t care about that issue or think it is wrong. Focusing on just two or three causes allows us to remain true to ourselves and our passions. If we jump on every issue, we will exhaust ourselves and burn out.

When you meet someone who is passionate about their cause, they are convincing. Their energy is contagious and exciting. They want you on their team, and you want to be around that energy. It is energy that can lead to legislative change, justice, a better life for disadvantaged people, and so much more.

It is so tempting to devote energy to every issue, but if it doesn’t entirely align, you have permission to say no. Saying no doesn’t mean you disagree or don’t care about the issue. It means you are honoring your own needs and protecting your capacity. Maybe this is someone else’s life’s purpose to take that on, not necessarily yours.

And with that, not everyone will be as passionate about the cause as you are. Allowing someone to say no is perfectly okay, too. By giving them that permission, you are making the conversation a little easier.

Advocacy and action look different for each person. I have been thinking about the extremes of advocacy work – from the monk that meditates all day to the active protestor.

I often think of spiritual people who isolate themselves and pray or meditate for days, weeks, or months. They head into a cave, away from all the problems in the world, and meditate. To me, this feels so inactive, and as an extrovert, extremely unnerving. But I understand what they are doing and how they are impacting our world. Having learned so much about energy and its science, they remain active and are instruments of change. Their mindshare, energy, and love are being sent towards the causes they are passionate about.

Almost the opposite of this are people who protest. I had a friend ask me to attend a protest with her, and instantly my body tensed up, and I got anxious. The thought of being in such a large group scared me. Too many things could go wrong, and I don’t think I would feel safe.

I respectfully declined, and it was well received. I told my friend I couldn’t attend, saying, “I would love to be able to attend, but they scare me at my core, so I won’t be able to.” I am so appreciative of her holding space for me and totally honoring my position.

So today, I think we should all reflect on:

1. What are your 2-3 top passions?

2. What issues are you currently involved in that you want out of? Bonus points if you are able to say “no” to those.

3. How can you encourage those in your orbit to follow their passions and only their passions? While recognizing that advocacy looks different for each person.

4. Can you give yourself permission to only do what you have capacity for? The problems of the world didn’t start overnight, and won’t be solved overnight. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Do what you can, when you can, but don’t feel bad if you need rest.

Finally, celebrate your impact when you have it! Even small wins should be celebrated. Focusing on what is working well helps our overall mood and helps to shift from the negative to the positive. Also, by not giving energy to the negative, we are shifting the collective energy.

I offer two live gatherings each month: the first Monday and the third Tuesday at Noon EST.

If you ever want to join us live, you are always welcome! I hope this offers you something, even if it is just a few quiet minutes to be with yourself.

With Gratitu…

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This idea of celebration came up for me recently. A few good things happened in my life, and I wanted to celebrate them. So I planned a nice dinner with my family for the sole purpose of celebrating. Throughout the day, I kept returning to that feeling by journaling about what I was grateful for and reflecting on the wins. I didn’t want to leave that space. I wanted to hang onto it for as long as possible. It felt so good to celebrate.

At times, I feel bombarded by negativity. Whether it comes from one person or the world at large, it can become overwhelming. I avoid most news sources because I try to protect myself from the doom and gloom that our culture loves to stew in. Recently, conversations in my circles turned to our politically divided world and what we can do to help. So many people are feeling helpless. Many of us want to act, but are unsure how to make a difference without contributing to the divide.

I realized that celebrations are one small way we can help. Celebrations raise the vibration for yourself and those around you. It doesn’t mean you ignore the hard things happening around us. It just means you are choosing to acknowledge the goodness that exists alongside them.

Today, I was feeling overwhelmed by clutter. Not just clutter in my home, but all kinds of clutter. Instead of stewing in the clutter, I decided to spend an hour clearing about 100,000 emails from my personal email account and unsubscribing from another 100 email subscriptions. It was annoying, tedious, and way too time-consuming, but it felt really good.

And when I finished, I celebrated! I got a cup of coffee, put on some Fleetwood Mac followed by ABBA, and journaled about how accomplished I felt. Not just for deleting emails, but for taking care of myself. That was worth celebrating!

While a very simple example, it is a good way of how everyday, mundane things can be either a reason to complain or to celebrate. We get to choose. I didn’t change the world by deleting emails, but I did raise my mood and vibration.

Then I shared the idea of celebration on a group text with friends. They responded by sharing things they were celebrating in their own lives, and we celebrated with them. There were so many heart emojis, likes, and exclamation points. We lifted each other up.

Something else I’ve noticed is that people often hesitate to celebrate when someone they love is going through a difficult time. There is a tendency to hold back on celebrating because others are in a different place. But what if your celebration gave someone else a brief escape from their illness, grief, or difficult circumstance? What if your joy reminded them that goodness still exists?

I also believe both energies can coexist. We can hold space for someone’s pain while still embracing our own joy, without feeling guilty about being in either place.

What I would love to see is more people refusing to downplay their celebration because of someone else. This is what it is to be human. Be you.

When the world feels heavy, find something to celebrate and see what happens. Give yourself permission to celebrate for days, even when things feel like they are falling apart or when others around you aren’t doing well. Your celebration may be just what they need.

What are you celebrating today?

A new haircut?

Time for yourself?

A good cup of coffee?

The fact that it is Tuesday?

A really good walk?

The sun shining?

A conversation with a friend?

Good music?

Imagine if our fitness trackers could measure these data points. What would your score be? How much of your day is spent in darkness and negativity, and how much in light and positivity? Do you spend most of your day in doom and gloom or in celebration?

Give it a try - celebrate everything!

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I have been sitting with this, and I think it has to do with my need for three things:

1. The need to be perfect, or at least appear perfect.

2. The need to look like an expert on a specific topic, or find enough research to back me up if I am not.

3. The need to provide a solution or a path forward to resolve an issue.

The irony is – that is exactly why I write – to give up all of those needs. To just show up raw, unscripted, imperfect, and without answers. Originally, I just wanted to write to get my feelings and experiences out to the world, but I feel that some days I am veering off from that original course.

When I write from my own experiences or from the insights that come from my soul, it feels better. I also think it resonates more with readers because authenticity is what we are all craving. We are craving the need to be seen and heard.

Sometimes we don’t need a checklist on how to “fix” the problem. Sometimes we don’t need to understand why something is happening. Sometimes we just need to be with it.

Being with all of our emotions is what it is to be human. Being human is why we are here. When our soul agreed to come to earth in a human body, we agreed to being human and all the highs and lows that come with it. Being in body form is really hard sometimes.

There are big emotions all around each of us every day. Whether it is a personal struggle, family worry, community trauma, or thinking about the state of our world right now, it is emotionally charged.

Today, during a Reiki session, I felt as if I went somewhere else, spiritually. It felt so peaceful, almost as if I left my human body for a few minutes. I love it when that happens. It feels so incredibly good, probably what a good drug feels like. Sometimes it’s hard to come back to reality afterward, and I have to spend time grounding my feet on the grass to fully return to my body.

But those moments always remind me that we are part of something bigger than ourselves. Each of us is completely unique. I feel small, yet worthy and necessary at the same time. I feel connected to myself and a higher power that gently reminds me of what is truly important.

We already have all the knowledge, insight, and wisdom. We just need to tap into them and trust. We don’t always need more control, more research, more data, or more answers. We have everything we need within us.

So where do I go from here with those 15 unpublished posts? I think I will start posting imperfect or incomplete articles because that’s where I am on my journey. I am imperfect. I am not well researched. I do not always need solutions or a way out of something. I am on a journey that never concludes.

I will always remain curious. That is part of my DNA. But I’m also learning that not everything can be boiled down into a solution that applies to everyone. Sometimes we have to study ourselves and develop our own solution or roadmap that is uniquely ours. Sometimes we need to stop seeking answers from others and trust they are within ourselves. We need to listen and trust without overanalyzing or complicating it.

I am human, and that is enough some days.

I hope this meditation offers a bit of steadiness and awareness. It’s our way of supporting the collective breath of our community, and you are always warmly invited to join us live and spread some love.

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When I spend time around people operating from a lower energy, I notice my own energy begins to deplete. I feel more tired, irritable, and sometimes even achy.

But the opposite happens when I am around people operating from high energy. I feel energized, happy, and peaceful.

The interesting thing about energy is that high energy doesn’t mean someone isn’t working through difficult things. It doesn’t mean their life is free from negativity, pain, or grief. It simply means that they are operating from a higher frequency. They tend to be self-aware, grounded, and at peace with themselves. They practice gratitude, care for their bodies, tune into their intuition, and focus on positivity. They are emotionally resilient, compassionate, authentic, and naturally radiate love.

People operating from a lower energy seem to lack awareness of their energy state. They prefer to dwell in other people’s suffering, drama, illness, and disconnection. They look externally for quick hits of dopamine or relief. Sometimes they may project the negativity onto you and may be defensive or controlling as a need to get a handle on their environment. They can also take a victim stance, not taking responsibility for their circumstances.

This recently came up the other day while I was speaking with a dear friend. We found ourselves wondering why some people leave you feeling drained while others don’t. How is it that you can sit with someone going through some really tough stuff with big emotions, but you don’t feel like they flung it all on you? Yet sitting with someone with low energy facing their own struggles can leave you feeling emotionally exhausted.

What is the difference in those experiences?

I have found the people with greater emotional awareness tend to take ownership of what they are experiencing. When I am sitting with someone who is really struggling with some serious stuff, I am not as impacted by them because they are emotionally aware. Many even go out of their way to check in with me to ensure I am not too impacted by hearing their story. So even if they don’t have a solid grasp on their emotions, they are empathic enough to recognize that they could be flinging negativity my way. A simple check-in can help raise the frequency so I don’t feel so depleted.

Whereas low-energy people often lack the ability to emotionally connect. As someone tuned into emotions, I have trouble sitting with low-energy people for this reason. Being in their presence, I can often feel the emotions they are unaware of or are trying to run from. I can feel the hurt and trauma that haunts them.

It is important to recognize that low-energy people are not doing this intentionally. This article isn’t about labeling people as “good” or “bad,” nor is it about suggesting empathic people are somehow better than anyone else. It is often innocent, and people simply haven’t developed the awareness to recognize the impact they have on those around them.

For those who are highly sensitive to the energy of others, learning to protect ourselves is essential to ensure we remain intact when we encounter these situations.

• Set clear boundaries with people who consistently leave you feeling drained. Those boundaries should be communicated clearly, whether verbally or written down. Lower energy people tend to push boundaries, so holding someone to them is important. I like to imagine myself in an imaginary bubble before meeting with them. This helps protect you from absorbing their negativity.

• Help people name what they may be experiencing. When someone isn’t used to recognizing or expressing emotions, they may need help recognizing them. If possible, identify them and name them out loud. This will also validate their experience and remind you that their emotions don’t belong to you. They are entitled to them, and you do not need to take them on.

• Limit your time with low-energy people. Let’s face it, we all have people in our lives that we need to stay connected to but have a tough time being around. It is important to limit your time with them, so you don’t take on too much. Limiting your exposure is a way of taking care of yourself.

• Clear your own energy. If you spend time with someone who has emotionally drained you, it’s important to get rid of those emotions. There are many ways to do this. I like to stand barefoot on the earth and reconnect through grounding. Taking a shower also helps me feel like I am physically washing away anything I may have picked up unintentionally. There are many other practices that can help as well, and this article shares several helpful ideas.

Remember, you have control over the frequency you are operating at. It isn’t just people who influence your energy; it is you, your behaviors, your thoughts, your diet and exercise, your exposure to the news and social media. Take ownership of your energy. Strengthen your boundaries, care for yourself well, and make choices each day that help you become the kind of energy you hope to bring into every room you enter.

Because awareness is the first step to breaking old bad habits, I decided to dig a little deeper. I also use the ladder of inference, not to be confused with the jump-to-conclusions concept, to better understand what was happening.

The cycle for me looks something like this:

1. Notice someone’s emotion.

2. Feel the energy that builds between us.

3. Feel responsible for making that emotion smaller or dissolving it completely.

4. Take the blame for the whole situation.

This seems to be my pattern.

I keep reminding myself that I don’t need to take on their emotions or fix their mood. The challenge is that this pattern shows up differently for different people, so I am constantly learning to recognize its various forms and how I respond to it.

I have found that the more distance I have from a situation, the easier it is to identify. For example, if I feel like I am being blamed for something not going well, I immediately take it on. But if it happens over text, I have the gift of time. I can pause before falling into my familiar pattern.

I had a situation recently where I recommended a plumber to someone to fix an issue with their house. Unfortunately, the plumber wasn’t very good. Throughout the day, I was receiving text updates about how the plumber was actually making the situation worse.

I felt terrible. I felt responsible. I felt like I needed to intervene and somehow fix the situation.

But then I stopped spinning. Because everything was happening over text, I paused, reread the conversation, and recognized that I had fallen into that same pattern again. I was taking on something that was not mine to carry. I felt like I was being blamed for the entire fiasco.

But after rereading the text chain, I realized the person never once blamed me. They also didn’t want me to take on their emotions or try to fix their emotions. They were simply giving me the play-by-play in an almost comedic way and just needed to vent. Just because I recommended someone does not mean it is my responsibility to make sure it all works out.

Seriously, I can’t even recommend a contractor without feeling responsible?

I point this out because I know I am not the only one who does this. There are many of us caught up in this same pattern. It is time to stop.

Even if I were the one who messed everything up, it is not my responsibility to make sure the person’s emotions are okay. If they are angry, let them be angry. Those emotions belong to them. They are theirs to work through and theirs alone.

I was so grateful for this experience because it made me realize how ingrained this pattern is. When it is in text form, it is easier to recognize, but when it is spoken, it’s much harder.

It also got me thinking: how often do I jump to conclusions? How often do I assume responsibility for something that isn’t actually mine? How often do I slip back into the role of taking the blame or trying to calm someone else’s frustration?

As I write about jumping to conclusions, I can’t help but think of the movie Office Space. There is a scene where the “Jump to Conclusions Mat” is used to satirize workplace dysfunction. It is a floor mat featuring various “conclusions” printed on it, allowing people to literally “jump to conclusions” rather than thinking things through. It still cracks me up.

While in grad school for my master’s in holistic counseling, we learned a slightly different version of this, called the Ladder of Inference. It describes how we move from raw observation to action through a series of interpretive steps. We take in available data, unconsciously select a portion of it, paraphrase what we’ve noticed into our own words, name it as a general pattern, explain or evaluate why it’s happening, and finally decide how to act. Each step shapes the next, and the whole process runs on assumptions and beliefs that get reinforced by the actions they lead to — creating a self-reinforcing loop that can insulate us from other, equally valid ways of understanding a situation.

Understanding this ladder helps us examine our own thinking and better coordinate our understanding with others. It also reminds us to slow down when we find ourselves jumping several rungs at once. When we do that, we often end up confused or falling back into old patterns.

Looking back at my contractor story, I realized I had skipped several rungs of the ladder. My previous experiences, beliefs, and assumptions immediately convinced me that I was responsible and that I needed to fix everything. When I slowed down and reread the text messages, I realized that wasn’t what was happening at all.

This is a pattern that has been really difficult to change as it shows up in work, relationships, and everyday life.

Lately, I’ve noticed that after difficult conversations, I sometimes walk away feeling confused. I replay the interaction in my mind and wonder what actually happened.

How many times have I gotten it wrong? How many times have my past experiences shaped the meaning I gave to someone else’s words? How many times have I skipped several rungs of the ladder and arrived at a conclusion that wasn’t true?

How about you? Which pattern are you working through?

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I have been “retired” from the Coast Guard for seven glorious years and have been consulting for 5 of those years. Slowing down for summer isn’t something I normally do.

When I was on active duty, summers didn’t look much different from the normal school year. The kids would be at camp rather than at school during our workdays. It did take more coordination to arrange carpools, but to my husband and me, it was our normal. There was no slowing down or reprioritizing.

But since leaving active duty and having more flexibility, I have been trying to make myself more available to the kids and myself. This is a different way of living for me. How much do I stress, push, try to control, or work on growing my business?

I am finding myself wanting to cruise through the summer and not push as hard. At times, this feels lazy and even irresponsible as other business owners strive for growth and new clients. The pressure to achieve, grow, and have a greater impact is real. But this summer, I am just not feeling it. I am simply doing the work for my current clients and maintaining course and speed.

The kids are getting older. We now have two high schoolers, a freshman and a senior, and I think that is part of my wanting to pause not only my business, but also time itself.

For the first time in my life, I am trying to be okay with work-life balance. While many of us say we want this, it’s hard to accomplish. Not because of its logistics, but because of the mindset it requires. It asks us to slow down, be still, loosen our grip on control, stop overachieving for a while, and let things go. Trust that the world won’t fall apart if we rest.

I was reading an article in Northern Virginia Magazine about the most stressful places to live in the United States. Two of the places identified are within 15 miles of where we live. We live smack in the middle of both, which means that energy is very much present in our community.

But here is the line that caught me...

“The ranking says that McLean also has highly rated schools, and that, “Parents often place significant emphasis on academic achievement, extracurricular success, and future educational opportunities, creating an environment where expectations can feel exceptionally high. Many households devote considerable time and energy to helping children make the most of every available advantage.”

This is exactly what I am feeling. No wonder I don’t feel like working. There is so much emphasis on getting kids to achieve more, earn more money, and be more successful. It’s exhausting!

With two kids now in high school, I feel the pressure more than ever. They need service hours, the best sports, summer classes to get ahead, leadership titles for college applications, SAT prep courses, camps, and on and on. When are they supposed to simply enjoy summer?

And how am I supposed to enjoy summer when we are all trying to be the best, rise above the competition, and make ourselves more marketable? It’s so much, and I am just about done with it all.

It also made me rethink “top-rated” schools. Are they really the best? Or do they simply normalize a level of competitiveness that burns out both kids and parents? Is stress becoming the standard by which we measure success?

So back to summer - I am going to rest, damn it. And I am going to try to get my kids to rest as well.

I am going to walk in the woods listening to the birds. I am going to put my toes in the water. I am going to read a book (that’s not work-related). I am going to sleep in. I am going to spend an afternoon thrifting. I am going to write a letter to my cousin. I am going to take a few days off to travel and visit colleges with my son. I am going to rest.

What steps will you take to enjoy the summertime?

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I have never considered myself to be a birder, not even close, but after tuning into those adorable little birds, I’m becoming one. I find myself really loving the experience of listening to them, and I started wondering why I enjoy it so much.

First, I feel compelled to explain the tool that helped me discover birds. The Merlin Bird ID app, created by the Cornell Lab of Ornithology, helps people identify birds by sight or sound, using photos, brief descriptive questions, or audio recordings to match against its database and suggest likely species. Its core mission is simply to help people answer the question “what bird am I seeing or hearing?” while also turning casual birdwatching into participatory science that helps protect birds and biodiversity.

It’s a cool mission, but for me, a self-proclaimed non-birder, the app is therapy.

I love to walk on trails and have been doing so for as long as I can remember, but I never noticed the environment with my ears. I have always noticed the views, animals, bugs, smells, wind, and temperature, but I hardly ever noticed the sounds other than loud trucks or people talking. The Merlin app opened up a whole new sensory experience for me. It allows me to tune in to the bird, listen, and then look to see what type of bird is making that song. It is real-time too, so I can connect the songs with the birds as I hear them.

Now I find myself wanting to be in nature without headphones or distractions. I want to simply listen to the birds and their many different songs. I also get annoyed by things that drown out the birds, like traffic or cicadas. Cicadas are ridiculously loud.

It is as if the birds have been put along our paths to sing to us - if only we would listen.

Then it got me thinking, how many times have I been on walks and completely missed something truly remarkable because I was listening to an audiobook or podcast or scrolling on social media? How many other times have I ignored what my ears are working hard to do – listen? Listening not for words but for other sounds that have beautiful messages, emotion, and enthusiasm.

I feel better when I listen to the birds, and after doing some research, I discovered it’s not just my imagination.

According to research, there are measurable benefits from listening to a bird’s song. One study involving 295 participants found that people who listened to just 6 minutes of birdsong reported feeling less depressed, anxious, and paranoid. Those benefits were seen regardless of the birdsong’s diversity, whereas traffic noise was associated with higher levels of depression.

Beyond improving mood, there’s a physiological piece too. According to this article, birdsong is linked to reduced cortisol levels, lower heart rate, and improved overall well-being. And it’s not limited to people who are already well: people with depression show positive effects toward birdsong and birdlife in an area, though birds appear to benefit healthy participants as well.

So maybe birders are onto something.

After some self-reflection and research, I am pretty sure I am on my way to becoming an avid birder – full of enthusiasm for those little creatures that fly with grace and sing beautifully, which makes me less anxious and lowers my cortisol levels. But luckily for us, we have the Merlin App to help us tune in.

So get outside. Close your eyes. And simply listen.

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Heal Your Heart.

Those words are more loaded than I realized. Even as I write that, I find myself softening just a little. I feel my shoulders relax a little, and a smile comes to my face. My heart has been asking me to notice her.

Not healing your heart can lead to so many other issues and complications. It creates a wild domino effect if we don’t start with our heart and truly seek to heal it. The pain and trauma can manifest themselves physically and mentally. Your heart is longing for you to listen to it and what it has to say. You can’t outsmart your heart, and you can’t ignore it.

For me, my heart is my guide. It is where I can connect with my soul and my purpose. It is the very part of my being that centers me and reminds me of what is truly important. It is where I connect with myself, others, and God. It is my north star, guiding me towards decisions that are aligned with my purpose and rooted in love.

For years, I ignored my heart and protected it fiercely. I am still working on lowering my shield and listening more intently. It has been a journey, and one that I am grateful to be on.

Often, we associate a broken heart with breakups or loss. While those experiences can certainly leave deep wounds, there are many other ways our hearts can become hurt. It could be trauma you’ve carried for years, grief after losing someone, disappointment, or even a loss of connection with yourself.

Why your heart hurts is for you to know and for you to heal. It is deeply personal. No one can tell you how to do it. No one can tell you what you are carrying or how it is impacting your life. Your heart is yours. It is precious and unique to you.

Even though our experiences are deeply personal, I wanted to better understand some of the universal truths about the heart, so I did a little reading.

From a Reiki and chakra perspective, your heart area is the seat of love, compassion, and connection. Connection and love for yourself and others. It serves as the bridge between the lower three chakras (survival, emotion, and personal power) and the upper three (expression, intuition, and spiritual connection). It’s the point of integration between the physical and the spiritual. It governs forgiveness, grief processing, empathy, and our capacity for intimacy. It is associated with unconditional love rather than attachment-based love.

Pause here for a moment and check in with your heart.

Do any of these stand out to you? Love, compassion, forgiveness, grief processing, capacity for intimacy? If so, which ones?

Now, rather than push it away or ignore it, I invite you to lean into it with curiosity. You can start with your hand on your heart and ask, “What do you need me to know?” — then just wait, without editing or judging the answer. If nothing is coming up, get more specific with these prompts.

Giving & Receiving

• Where in my life do I give more than I receive, and why do I let that happen?

• Can I receive a compliment, help, or love without deflecting or immediately repaying it?

• Who do I love in a way that costs me myself?

Boundaries

• Where have I mistaken over-giving for love?

• What would it look like to say no here, and what am I afraid would happen if I did?

• Am I staying open, or am I staying available?

Grief & Holding

• What am I still grieving that I haven’t let myself name?

• Whose forgiveness am I withholding, including my own?

• What would it feel like to let this go, even 5%?

Guarding & Walls

• Where have I closed off to protect myself, and is that protection still needed?

• What would I do differently if I trusted that connection wouldn’t hurt me this time?

Self-Love

• Do I speak to myself the way I’d speak to someone I love?

• What do I require of others that I don’t give myself?

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Sometimes the answers come to us in words, but not always. Words can be limiting because there simply aren’t enough of them to express the feeling, emotion, or experience.

Sometimes it is helpful to draw not to create a beautiful piece of art, but to get the unconscious mind onto paper. I recommend getting crayons and a plain piece of paper. Sit quietly and ask yourself some of the questions above. Breathe. Close your eyes. Be still.

Then, after a few minutes, pick up a crayon and just allow your body to lead, not your mind. Allow your fingers to move the crayons any way they desire. You’re not judging or trying to make sense of it. You’re just allowing your heart to lead your fingers. The key with this is to allow your heart to lead, not your mind. We spend so much time in our minds that our hearts may feel neglected.

Now that you have put something on paper, either in words or art, sit with it, rereading the words or looking at the art. Say the words out loud. Notice any emotions that arise as you do so. Again, don’t question them, just allow them to flow. Also, don’t worry if you feel emotionless. Just be present. You are taking a step to listening to your heart, which will lead to healing.

Often, we wait until something catastrophic happens before we tune into our hearts, but we really should tune in more often. By strengthening our relationship with our heart, we are more prepared for life. We can also love more without judgment or bias.

So what happens when we truly start to listen to and heal the heart?

• We become more balanced because we are able to give and receive love equally. We establish healthier boundaries, allowing space for both ourselves and others. We grieve without judgment or shame.

• We begin to lower the walls we’ve built. We trust more and feel safer being vulnerable. Sometimes, we blame others for not making us feel safe when, in reality, we haven’t learned to honor our own needs or ask for what we need. Healing our hearts also creates room for forgiveness.

• We stop being dependent on others to provide all of our love, joy, or fulfillment. We stop seeking joy from unhealthy sources and begin finding it within ourselves. We also stop giving so much of ourselves that we neglect our own needs.

• We begin to feel better. Sometimes, our physical ailments start to heal. When our heart is hurting, it can manifest itself as physical hurt or disease. Sometimes when this happens, we need to heal emotionally and physically, as the two are so closely intertwined.

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What are you healing? What is your heart trying to tell you? What pain is hiding in your heart that needs your attention?

The picture below is my daughter’s artwork of a human heart. I love seeing this painted on her wall right by the door to her bedroom. When I see it, I am reminded of our hearts and how much they work for each of us every day. I am also reminded of how complex and powerful our hearts are. Be gentle with your loving heart, listen to it, and start to heal it.

Unfortunately, technology had other plans for us today. We had some technical difficulties during the meditation call, and the recording wasn’t captured. I know many of you look forward to listening to it afterward, and I’m sorry we aren’t able to share it this time.

I didn’t want you to miss out completely, so I’ve included this m…

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A friend once shared that it takes at least three days to settle into vacation mode. I feel that. But why? Why can’t I settle in quicker than three days?

I want to blame the rat race, our culture, my parents for raising a doer, my people-pleasing personality, my children for filling our schedules, and countless other things. But is it really helpful to blame everyone and everything for my inability to relax?

This is not a new issue. I have always been this way. To me, being inactive feels lazy. It feels like I am not using my brain or my body, and it feels awful. Historically, the only time I truly rested was when I got really sick with the flu or pneumonia. It had to be something that completely kicked my ass, so I would stay in bed and not feel the need to work, do laundry, or drive a kid to practice. Then, when I do go on vacation, I find myself having a glass of wine to relax, or I simply don’t at all.

Reflecting on this, I’ve been trying to figure out what’s going on. Am I afraid of being perceived as lazy? Am I afraid of what I might hear if I slow down long enough to listen to my own thoughts? Or have I simply never given myself permission to relax?

I have been working part-time for the past couple of years, and it has been fantastic. Recently, though, I decided to tell the story differently. Instead of saying I work part-time, I tell people that I am semi-retired. It’s a bit like saying it is partly sunny versus partly cloudy. They both say the same thing, but they do make your brain think about them differently.

I realized I have biases about the words “semi-retired” and “working part-time.” So, my experiment has been to tell myself I am semi-retired and see how my behavior changes.

In my mind, retired people are relaxed. They take naps when they are tired and sit on the beach, enjoying the ocean waves. Or at least that is the story I have been telling myself. My bias is that a person who works part-time feels like they are barely getting by or needing to work harder to get the next gig.

Again, this is my brain making associations that aren’t necessarily true. But I love working part-time. I don’t want to get another gig. I love the pace and workload I have. I love flexibility because I definitely didn’t have that when I was on active duty.

Understanding how I reacted to identifying as either semi-retired or working part-time was a huge revelation. It took me a long time to figure out how to be okay with not overachieving at work. So, it got me thinking about the stories we tell ourselves, the labels we choose, and the assumptions we attach to them. The way we speak about ourselves when it comes to work, productivity, and relaxation. Those stories shape us far more than we realize.

Since I have been saying I am semi-retired, I am finding it easier to step away from my computer to catch a yoga class or schedule client calls around my schedule rather than theirs. I am learning to shake any guilt I have for blowing off an entire afternoon to go thrifting with my daughter. I am also finding that I am much more focused at work because I am learning how to relax.

But even as I make these choices, I still feel the culture we live in. I am feeling the rat race, the pressure to overachieve, to prove myself. I am feeling how relaxation isn’t a thing in our culture.

Dr. Arthur Brooks, a former professor of mine at the Harvard Kennedy School (before he became famous), has a great podcast on how to be better at leisure and how it relates to happiness. After listening to the podcast, I realized that I am bad at leisure. And Dr. Brooks, by citing research, tells us that to find happiness, we need to be good at work and leisure. Happiness is made up of enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning. People often mistake pleasure for enjoyment. They are not the same. He teases this out a bit further and discusses the elements of leisure. I will put them in here, but I really encourage you to listen to the podcast. It was full of research-based ideas and explanations.

Meaningful leisure is a skill that requires as much discipline and intentionality as your career. He outlines three protocols for building your leisure aptitude so you can achieve genuine enjoyment rather than just passive diversion:

• Structure your leisure: Treat your downtime with the same respect as a work meeting. Block off time in your day for non-work enrichment and treat these slots as non-negotiable.

• Don’t fritter away your leisure: Waste no time getting started. Once your free time begins, do not allow yourself to be distracted by passive entertainment or mindless habits like scrolling social media.

• Set specific leisure goals: Just as you track progress in fitness, outline specific objectives for your hobbies. A goal could be to finish a book series, master a skill, or go on a reflective walk.

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What I also realized is that sitting mindlessly on the beach isn’t really leisure. Reading a book or pondering an idea or passage from it while sitting on the beach is leisure. Drawing the ocean waves while sitting at the ocean is leisure. Or connecting with a friend on a deep level while feeling the ocean breeze is leisure. And maybe I am not so bad at leisure after all. Writing this article and other Substacks is leisurely.

This summer, I have a new goal – to be better at leisure. To really, truly work on it.

How do you plan to improve your leisure this summer?

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I didn’t anticipate any difficulties relating to identity, community, or work after retirement. I had done years of therapy, had supportive friends and family, and considered myself fairly self-aware. I assumed I would thrive.

I often heard people talk about losing their identity after leaving the military, but I never related to that. I never felt like the Coast Guard was my entire identity. In many ways, I felt like an impostor. I wore the uniform, did my best every day, but never felt like I completely belonged.

But at the same time, I didn’t feel like a regular civilian either. I couldn’t always relate to some of my non-military moms who found bake sales stressful. I would even occasionally let an F-bomb slip at the bus stop before I remembered my audience.

So where did I fit in?

The truth is, I didn’t feel like I fit in either world.

What I didn’t understand at the time was that this wasn’t really about fitting in. It was about transition. No matter how prepared we think we are, transitions are hard. They represent the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. They challenge our routines, relationships, purpose, and sense of self.

Like many veterans, I thought I could power through it. I stayed busy. I walked miles every day. I changed my diet. I cleaned out my closet. I searched for new communities. I tried to reinvent myself.

What I eventually learned was that transitions are not something we conquer through grit alone. They are often unconscious, deeply psychological processes that can shake us from the inside out.

And despite what I believed, I was not a unicorn. This is the story of so many.

Every veteran experiences some form of transition when leaving the military. It doesn’t matter whether you loved your service, couldn’t wait to leave, have a job lined up, or have a strong support system. The experience looks different for everyone, but the transition itself is unavoidable.

Unfortunately, very few of us are prepared for the identity shift that follows. We learn how to write resumes, apply for benefits, and navigate the logistics of civilian life. What we rarely learn is how to cope with the emotional and psychological changes that come with leaving behind a career, a community, and a way of life.

Nearly seven years after retirement, I am still discovering who I am. Aren’t we all? The difference is that I have become more comfortable with uncertainty. I have built a community that supports me, found meaningful work, and developed a deeper understanding of what was actually happening during those difficult years.

Recently, I met Keith Gissubel through the IMAHFE Organization. Through our conversations and his research, I finally found language for what I had experienced all those years ago. While I have a strong background in counseling and mental health, I had never fully understood the unique challenges of major life transitions.

That realization led Keith and me to create a program for veterans navigating this exact experience. Most transition programs focus on resumes, benefits, networking, and job searches. Those are important. But they often overlook the human side of transition.

The questions many veterans quietly wrestle with are:

• Who am I now?

• Where do I belong?

• How do I rebuild purpose, identity, and connection after leaving the military?

Our program focuses on those questions. Together, we’ll explore why transitions can feel so destabilizing, what is happening beneath the surface during periods of change, and practical tools for navigating the journey with greater awareness and resilience.

Because if you’re struggling with life after the military, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re experiencing a very human response to a major life transition.

Our first cohort begins September 13th, 2026, and is limited to 12 veterans. If any part of this story feels familiar, we’d love to have you join us. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

Learn More and Register Here!

So, I am not the most likely person to be writing on Substack, much less someone who has posted over 100 articles. But here I am anyway because I have something to say, and it needs to get out.

For most of my life, I wrote about topics I wasn’t interested in. I wrote for someone else, the person reading it, or the person grading it. I was thinking of them, trying to give them a product they would like. Often, I hated the topic, found it boring, or felt it lacked meaning. No one told me along the way to write for myself.

At home, I wrote in journals. I have over 30 journals filled with my thoughts and ideas. These are kept close to me and for my eyes only. But last year, I switched it up and started writing and posting them here, and I have been shocked by the response.

While I may not have the largest following, what I do have is a group of subscribers who appreciate my writing because it resonates with them. This fills my heart and my soul to hear that my writing helped someone.

Sometimes what I write gives words to an experience they had but didn’t know how to describe. Sometimes it helps them realize feelings about a particular event or topic they didn’t know they had. Sometimes it helps them get unstuck. It has also created a community of people who are experiencing similar things. Through my writing, I’ve even reconnected with people I haven’t spoken to in 20-30 years.

What I have learned is that my writing is actually bigger than me. I write because I need the thoughts and feelings out of my mind and body.

Writing for myself is different than writing to please a teacher or a boss. Writing for me means zero care for how it is received. It feels freeing. The writing is better because it’s true to me.

Apply that to life for a moment.

How much of what we do each day is driven by the desire to please someone else? At work, how much of it is to get a better evaluation, be noticed, earn a promotion, and keep the boss happy? How much is it about pleasing everyone else instead of pleasing ourselves or being true to ourselves?

I am not suggesting that everyone quit their job because the boss has expectations. But maybe there is a way to bring a little more of yourself into your work. Maybe there is a way to write a note to your team that comes from your heart. Maybe there is a way to lead a conference call, asking others to open a little or make easy connections. Where can you put your spin or your heart mark on something?

Fear often trips us up. I had so much fear. Fear of being laughed at or ridiculed for my 8th-grade-level writing. Fear of disappointing or angering someone by talking about my childhood and career. Fear of not being good enough.

We often assume that if we show up more authentically, it won’t be received well. But what if the opposite happened? What if people loved it and it was the very thing that got you noticed and promoted?

What if you set your fear of being authentic aside and stepped into courage? What is the worst that can happen?

You may find that you like work more, have deeper connections with coworkers, and have more productive teams. You may find that you piss some people off. That can happen. People react because they are uncomfortable with their own authenticity. Don’t take that on. Instead, give them the space to work through their stuff.

And finally, if someone has told you that you are failing or not good enough, you have a choice. Are you failing because you aren’t being you and because the work isn’t true to you? Do you take that on or dismiss it? You are not a failure, but may be in a place where you are either led to believe that or aren’t being true to yourself.

Today, take one step to be more authentic. Take one step toward pleasing yourself rather than others.

It will feel so good. Trust me.

And finally, thank you to everyone who supports my writing and shares how it resonates with them. I feel so connected with so many of you, and it warms my heart. It also brings so much validation that the world needs all of us to use our voices.

Because this space continues to feel needed, I am now offering two live gatherings each month: the first Monday and the third Tuesday at Noon EST.

If you ever want to join us live, you are always welcome! I hope this offers you something, even if it is ju…

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I often write about heavy stuff, but as we move into the summer with more sunshine and longer days, I thought it might be nice to lighten things up and write about Katie.

I know I am not the first to write about dogs and their profound impact on us. There are so many versions of this, but I still feel compelled to write about her because being around dogs is genuinely good for your health.

Petting a dog lowers cortisol and boosts feel-good chemicals like oxytocin and serotonin, helping ease stress, anxiety, and loneliness. Dog owners tend to walk more, have lower blood pressure, and even show better survival rates after heart attacks. Kids raised around dogs develop stronger immune systems and fewer allergies. And for older adults, having a dog around is linked to slower cognitive decline and less social isolation.

So even if you stop reading here, take a minute to notice your dog (or cat) and be present with them. Truly present.

Here are some lessons I learned from Katie, the dog.

1. Relax and Sunbathe.

If it is nice out, lie down and soak it all in. The Vitamin D from the sun can boost your mood and immunity.

Take naps when you are tired. You don’t need to feel guilty about it, make a commotion about it, or even plan it. Simply lie down wherever you are and nap.

2. Eat Well and Be Patient.

Katie is on a raw diet consisting of chicken, turkey, or salmon, plus a ton of vegetables. She reminds us that eating healthy is critical to everything else. Be patient. Sometimes making a healthy dinner is worth the wait, so sitting quietly and still is necessary to avoid distracting others while they work diligently on your meal.

3. Play.

It doesn’t matter what time of day it is or what everyone else is doing; if you feel like playing, play! You can play with your duck, your giraffe, or a lacrosse ball. Staring contests can also be quite fun. Whatever calls to you – play.

4. Ask For What You Want.

If you are hungry or need to go outside to sunbathe, make it known. Put a paw on someone’s arm and tell them your desires, then don’t stop clawing them until you get what you want. Also, putting your paw on someone can also be a way to show your support, not with words but with touch.

5. Let Those Emotions Go.

If you are sad because the kids left for school, cry. If you are upset, whine.

Bark. Get loud. Maybe even growl.

If you are scared or pissed, let it be known. Don’t hold back. And get loud, no matter the time of day or who’s working from home. Let it all out, then move on to any of the activities above, such as playing or napping.

6. Be One With Nature.

Watch the squirrels and listen to the birds. Maybe go for a walk, and if nature calls, just pee on a bush. Feel the breeze on your butt cheeks and don’t question it for a minute (unless there are people nearby). Be free in nature.

7. Celebrate Every Single Day and Enjoy Your Friends.

Get excited to wake up in the morning, to see your loved ones, to play, to walk, to eat, to walk with a friend. There is always something worth wagging your tail about.

8. Do Yoga.

Start every morning with downward dog and a big, audible breath.

9. Be Curious.

Explore the world with all your senses. Notice what you see, smell, taste, feel, and hear. When something catches your eye, explore it further. Curiosity makes life more interesting.

10. Cuddle.

Always make time for cuddling. We are pack animals at heart and just want to be loved. End each day with some cuddles.

Go and show your pet some love today. Tell them how grateful you are for the life lessons they teach you every day. And if you don’t have a dog, borrow a neighbor’s or a friend’s. It’s good for your health and happiness!

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This was the question my therapist asked me recently. She made it sound so simple. Of course you don’t catch the vomit.

But as an empathic person, I found this a profound question. I realized I have been the one to catch the vomit rather than letting it go. I had no idea how to stand beside someone, comforting them, and allow them to move through something difficult without taking it all on myself and making it my responsibility to fix, heal, solve, or carry them through it. I feel so much responsibility for making it stop.

As an empath, I have known for years that I take on others’ emotions. On a few occasions, I have even felt another person’s physical pain. I even once vomited seconds after a client shared something deeply traumatic with me.

The physical pain is easy to recognize for what it is and release it, but the emotional stuff is so not obvious. It creeps up on me. I take it on, again and again, until I sink into a level of emotional exhaustion. Those are the days I don’t work. Instead, I sleep, I write, I walk. I do whatever I can to get it all out of my body.

The therapist gave me the words for that – I was catching too much vomit. And when you do this so many times, you too start to feel sick yourself.

What felt new about this metaphor was that I need to learn how to stand beside a person who is vomiting, rubbing their back, holding their hair back, or simply offering words of encouragement. I do not need to catch it.

Anyone reading this may think it makes total sense, but practicing it is much more difficult. “Just” rubbing someone’s back feels inactive. It feels like I am not doing enough. I’m not stopping it from coming out. I’m not stopping the pain. I’m not stopping the tears. Rubbing their back feels like failure in a way. It feels like I am not doing enough because the pain is still there.

As parents, we often want to take away the pain. We want to make the vomit stop. We want to do more than just stand by and offer comfort. Illness, pain, sadness, and grief are all part of life. How do I sit with someone going through stuff without taking it all on? And how do I release the need to take away pain or tough emotions from someone else? How do I start to see that comforting someone from a little distance can be enough? How do I feel effective while standing by, not in the muck? This feels like stepping into new territory. It is all new.

The flip side of this is, how will the people who are vomiting feel when I am no longer catching it? Will they be disappointed in me? Will they seek support from someone else? Will they get angry with me? Will I be enough?

By stepping in and taking over, I’m not helping them. Most of the time, the person just needs to release and start healing themselves. No one can do that work for them. My stepping in may unintentionally send the message that they aren’t capable of handling it on their own. Sometimes the release is empowering and a part of the healing process, and I wouldn’t want to take that from them. It is their journey. Our role is to stand beside them while they walk through it.

The shift is learning that allowing is its own form of active, skilled presence. So, how do we start implementing this new way of being into our everyday existence?

Stay grounded before, during, and after. When someone is releasing something hard, the catching reflex is often triggered by your own discomfort with their discomfort. Grounding yourself with your breath, feet on the floor, and your own physical presence keeps you regulated without absorbing what they’re releasing. You’re the container, not the drain.

Be OK with silence. The urge to fill the silence after someone has expelled something painful is almost always about your own discomfort. Sitting in silence with someone, not rushing them, not judging them, not trying to fix them, is one of the most powerful things you can do.

Know where you end, and they begin. This is the hardest one, especially for people who are wired for empathy. After being with someone who shared something heavy, it may be helpful to cut those energetic cords to them. You can do this by simply making your hand like a knife and cutting around you to break those cords. If this feels too sudden or violent, you can also just wipe the energy off of you and send it off into the air.

Tend to yourself after. Standing by while someone releases something heavy takes energy, even when you don’t absorb it. Acknowledge that to yourself. Decompress. Name what you witnessed through journaling or art. You could also put on music and dance to release it from your body. The point is to allow it to move.

Be kind to yourself. You did the best you could. It is not your responsibility to fix all the pain and hurt in the world. Showing up and being present is enough.

I don’t have this figured out yet. I am not standing beside the vomit gracefully yet. Some days I still dive in, hands out, before I even realize what I am doing. But I know now what I did not know before: there is another way. That presence without taking it all on is possible and enough. It might even be more powerful than anything I was trying to do before. That is enough to keep practicing.

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First, I am fine. No worries there. But I want to acknowledge something many people resist acknowledging: the sad days, the hard days, the days when you don’t have your shit together, the days when everyone is getting on your nerves, the days when you question your choices, your path, your purpose. The days when the couch or the bed are the only places that you want to be.

This is life. Some days are simply more difficult than others. Sometimes there’s a life event, a loss, a trigger, or shifting hormones that set it off. And sometimes, there’s no reason at all. It just happens.

Every time it happens to me, I get irritated. I want the feeling to pass quickly. I want to push it down and move on to a happier place. But I’ve started to wonder - is my resistance to the feelings actually what makes them linger on?

So how do you get out of it? Or maybe the goal isn’t to “get out of it” at all. Maybe it’s to be with it, to navigate life alongside the big, heavy feelings. To not pretend. Maybe the nap was exactly what I needed. Maybe these emotions, uncomfortable as they are, are actually gifts.

For those of us who are highly sensitive, we are constantly riding waves of emotion, often unable to tell which feelings are ours and which we’ve absorbed from others. We feel everything at such an intensity that it can stop us in our tracks. And it isn’t always the people closest to us. It can be a brief interaction with a stranger or a colleague. It can be the weight of the collective — so many people hurting, grieving, and simply struggling.

So how do we ride these waves and come back to ourselves? The recommendations below work on the whole body and engage the senses. When we focus on the senses, we bypass the overactive mind and allow the body to find its own balance — without force or control.

• Disappear for a Few Days: Lay low. Do the bare minimum and trust that you will resurface. The work will still be there.

• Journal: Get the big emotions out of your mind and body. Writing helps unstick what’s been lodged inside.

• Rest: Big emotions are big energy drains. Rest is not laziness, it’s recovery. Take a nap. Lie on the couch. Prioritize sleep. Research consistently shows that sleep deprivation amplifies negative emotions and reduces our ability to regulate stress.

• Ground: Put your bare feet on the earth. This practice, sometimes called “earthing,” has been shown in studies to reduce cortisol and improve mood by connecting the body to the earth’s natural electrical charge.

• Practice Gratitude: This simple act can sometimes lift a mood on its own, but don’t worry if it doesn’t. Research from positive psychology shows that regularly writing down what you’re grateful for gradually retrains the brain toward a more positive baseline.

• Explore Positive Psychology: Positive psychology reminds us that well-being is not the absence of stress, but the presence of connection, purpose, resilience, and moments of joy, even in the most demanding seasons of life. A great place to start is Dr. Laurie Santos’ work and her widely popular course, The Science of Well-Being.

• Move Your Body: Even a little movement helps emotions flow. Walking is my go-to, but on days when that feels like too much, even a short walk around the block is enough to get the blood and the feelings moving. Studies show that moderate exercise reduces levels of the body’s stress hormones, including cortisol and adrenaline, while stimulating the production of endorphins.

• Choose People or Solitude: Ask yourself honestly what you need. When I’m emotionally overloaded, being around people is often the last thing I want. I’ve learned to cancel plans without making up an excuse. Instead, I’m honest: I need some time to rest. My mind and body have taken on a lot lately. This also lets the other person know it isn’t about them.

• Breathe: Deep, slow breathing signals the parasympathetic nervous system to override the body’s stress response, reducing cortisol and easing anxiety. Prolonged exhalation in particular stimulates the vagus nerve, triggering the release of serotonin and endorphins, neurotransmitters that elevate mood and counter depression. A meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials found that breathwork interventions significantly reduced self-reported stress, anxiety, and depressive symptoms, with slow-paced breathing being especially effective.

• Sound: Sound therapy and music can have a profound impact on mood. Research on sound baths, particularly those using Tibetan singing bowls, found that tension, depression, and anger were all significantly reduced following a session. Spotify has a playlist for nearly every emotional need, whether that’s dancing to your favorite band or settling into a 528Hz frequency playlist. An in-person sound bath can be especially transformational for balancing the nervous system.

• Nourish Yourself: Healthy eating is always ideal, but sometimes comfort food is what the moment calls for. Taste is a sense like any other, and honoring what brings you comfort and peace is a form of self-care. Trust your body.

• Essential Oils: Inhaling essential oils can decrease stress and anxiety and lift your mood. Citrusy oils like orange or lemon are known to promote feelings of joy. When I’m feeling overwhelmed by intense energy, I’ll balance it with something floral like jasmine or lavender. And when I need to reconnect with something deeper, frankincense is my anchor. Find the oils that work for you.

• Rocks and Crystals: I used these to ground. They don’t have to be fancy crystals. They can be a rock you found on a hike or from your flower bed. When you start feeling anxious or stressed, holding a rock or rubbing it on your feet can be really helpful.

• Water: Being near water, looking at a picture of water, or simply drinking a tall glass of it have all been shown to positively affect mood. Research suggests that proximity to natural water environments lowers cortisol and promotes a sense of calm. Ideally, you’d get to a lake or the ocean, but even imagining the sound of waves can shift your state.

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Something interesting happened while I was writing this. I started the list and suddenly realized that I have a lot of coping tools, but I’d fallen out of touch with many of them. So, I reached for my essential oils, played my crystal singing bowls, put on a 528Hz playlist, and drank a ton of water. By the end, I was starting to feel better.

Sometimes we just need to return to what we already know works, and that return to home base is itself healing.

If it feels right, take a few minutes to reflect on what brings you back to balance. Write those things down and come back to them on the darker days. And remember: darkness is what allows us to fully appreciate the light, and it is always, always temporary.

I hope this meditation offers a bit of steadiness and awareness. It’s our way of supporting the collective breath of our community, and you are always warmly invited to join us live and spread some love.

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