hi my substack community, ❤️

i have really missed you guys.

i kind of disappeared for a little while, and honestly, it wasn’t planned. i just didn’t have the strength to show up. the spirit was willing, but the flesh was indeed weak. 😭

on june 4, i published a letter titled remembrance is my strategy… where i shared that i was in a waiting season and that remembrance was the strategy i wanted to use to get through it—to remember what God had already done and let that remind me of who He is.

well, well, well…

did i remember enough?

not quite. 😭

again, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is indeed weak.

but even in my weakness, God remained faithful.

in that same letter, i told you guys that i’d be back to share my testimony.

and indeed, i have a testimony to share.

God did it.

God came through.

i’ve shared the full story in my latest youtube video. thisis a deeply personal vlog and testimony about the season i was walking through, what it looked like in real time, and what God did on the other side of it.

please go watch it, like the video, and leave me a comment. i’d genuinely love to hear from you guys.

and if you’re currently in a waiting season yourself, i hope my testimony reminds you that God is still working, even when you can’t see it.

i’ll write to you guys again soon.

The One God cares for,
Oluwatojumi

My letters are expressions of God’s care for you. Please subscribe to receive them. Thank you <3

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watch the testimony on youtubeee <3

my testimony

here are links to my other social media platforms as well. I also have a curated playlist of songs to remind you that God cares for you.

i am very familiar with this feeling.

sometimes, with the way i hold on to memories, i feel like forgetting everything would be easier.

because nostalgia feels heavy for me sometimes.

sometimes, it makes me miss people, places, and seasons of life that i can never fully return to.

other times, it makes me replay moments over and over again, wishing i could step back into them for just a little while.

but i also think nostalgia is a gift.

because when i think about the moments that make me nostalgic, i realize they are often reminders of God’s goodness in my life.

they are reminders of prayers answered, lessons learned, people loved, risks taken, and memories made.

and so, now i’m trying to find the balance.

i’m trying to make sure that whenever i look back, i’m led to give thanks.

if i remember mistakes from the past, i should not stay there for too long and sink into guilt.

instead, i should let those memories lead me to thanksgiving.

thanksgiving for the season.

thanksgiving for the people.

thanksgiving for the growth.

thanksgiving that i got to experience those moments in the first place.

because nostalgia isn’t just evidence that something is over.

sometimes, it’s evidence that something was beautiful.

i think that’s what makes nostalgia so powerful. it reminds us that life is moving.

the things we pray for eventually become the things we look back on.

the moments we can’t wait to experience eventually become the moments we wish we could relive.

and maybe that’s why i’ve been feeling nostalgic lately.

what are your thoughts on nostalgia? do you see it as something beautiful, something bittersweet, or a little bit of both?

on that note, entry 03 of this is for my twenties is officially live on youtube.

it’s my graduation vlog—a collection of moments from senior pictures to graduation day, and a visual diary of one of the most special seasons of my life.

and yes, it is a nostalgic one.

if you’d like to watch it, you can find it here.

in fact, please watch it. you will enjoy it, i promise.

with love,

Tojumi ♡

My letters are expressions of God’s care for you. Please subscribe to receive them. Thank you <3

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don’t forget to watch my graduation vlog on youtubeeeeee <3

“I am jealous of people who know what their purpose is in life. Sometimes, I feel like I came to earth to vibe.”

if i’m being real, there was a season in my life when that sentence described exactly how i felt.

in fact, i had a similar thought just last month.

after graduation, i remember thinking to myself, “what’s next?”

it also didn’t help that i’m currently in a transition season that i didn’t choose.

usually, by this time of the year, i would be in another city completing an internship. there would be a sense of “purpose” even when school was over.

but right now, all i can do is wait on the Lord.

and i remember crashing out so badly about how much i hated being in limbo.

i started comparing myself to people who seemed so sure of their next steps. people who didn’t have the same circumstances i found myself in. people who knew their “calling” with confidence.

meanwhile, i’m just trying to stay sane and make it through the week.

the funny thing is that i’ve never really been the person with a perfectly mapped-out life plan.

even when it came to university, i didn’t have a dream school or even the career path i’m on right now.

my life has never turned out according to a plan i carefully created for myself.

i’ve kind of just fallen into things.

and it’s always been like that.

God has a way of doing exceedingly, abundantly above what i could ask, think, or imagine.

in that moment when i was crashing out, it felt like i had forgotten everything i had ever learned about purpose.

if you’re a cci member, you know we talk about purpose often. by now, it seems like we should all be experts.

thankfully by kairos, last month we had a timely reminder on the topic of purpose that brought so much clarity back to me in this season.

so what is purpose?

defines purpose as:

“That one thing for which you were created and at which you must succeed, otherwise nothing else you succeed at will count.”

this definition immediately raises a question:

what exactly is that one thing?

for a long time, i thought purpose was something i had to figure out before my life could truly begin.

i thought there was one secret answer hidden somewhere, and if i didn’t discover it soon enough, i would somehow miss God’s will for my life.

but over time, i realized i was confusing purpose with assignment.

think about a footballer whose entire life revolves around football.

from childhood, he trains every day. he sacrifices his comfort just to pursue the sport he loves. eventually, he makes it to the professional level.

then one day, a devastating injury ends his career.

if football was his purpose, then his life is now purposeless.

if football was the reason he existed, then the moment he can no longer play, his existence has lost its meaning.

but we know that’s not true.

his value did not disappear because his career ended.

he is still a son, a friend, a husband, a father, and most importantly a human being created in the image of God.

what changed was his assignment, not his purpose.

the same is true for us.

because if your purpose is tied to a career, what happens when you retire?

if your purpose is tied to a relationship, what happens when you lose that person?

if your purpose is tied to a talent, what happens when you can no longer use it?

a purpose that can be taken away by circumstances was never your true purpose to begin with.

our purpose is deeper than what we do.

our purpose is found in the One who created us.

most conversations about purpose make it sound like every person has a completely unique reason for existing.

but when i read scripture, i see something different.

our assignments may be different.

our purpose is not.

from the very beginning, God created humanity in His image.

“Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

‭‭Genesis‬ ‭1‬:‭26‬-‭27‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

the core of why we exist is to image God.

we were created to reflect Him, reveal Him, and represent Him on the earth.

that means the purpose of every one is the same:

to know Christ and to make Him known.

to live for the One who died for us.

to reflect His character wherever He places us.

the assignment may change.

one season you may do that in a classroom.

another season you may be running a business, serving in ministry, leading an organization, pursuing creative passions, or learning a new skill.

another season may involve raising children.

the assignment changes.

the purpose does not.

this realization has brought me so much freedom.

because if purpose is ultimately rooted in God, then i don’t have to invent it.

i don’t have to manufacture meaning.

i don’t have to spend my life anxiously trying to become somebody.

i simply need to discover the plans of the One who made me and align myself with them.

a product does not decide its purpose, the manufacturer does.

and if God is our Creator, then the starting point of purpose is not looking inward but looking upward.

as Psalm 100:3 reminds us:

“Acknowledge that the Lord is God! He made us, and we are his. We are his people, the sheep of his pasture.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭100‬:‭3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

We live in a culture obsessed with self-discovery.

but sometimes the better question is not, “who do i want to be?”

it’s, “what was i created for?”

maybe that’s why scripture repeatedly calls us to remember our Creator.

“Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say, “Life is not pleasant anymore.””

‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭12‬:‭1‬ ‭NLT‬‬

because the moment we forget Him, we begin looking for meaning in places that were never designed to provide it.

the older i get, the more i realize that purpose cannot simply be about achievements, titles, or influence.

purpose has to make sense in eternity.

at the end of our lives, the question won’t be how impressive we looked.

the question will be whether we lived for the One who gave us life.

that is why Ecclesiastes says:

“That’s the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty. God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad.”

‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭12‬:‭13‬-‭14‬ ‭NLT‬‬

and when you understand this, your ambition doesn’t have to die.

it simply has to be redirected.

God doesn’t ask you to let go of ambition.

He asks you to surrender it.

you can still dream, you can still build, you can still pursue excellence.

but now your life is centered on God’s glory rather than your own.

the goal is no longer self-fulfillment.

the goal is faithfulness because God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.

so if you’ve been feeling lost lately about your purpose, let me encourage you:

you are not a creature of chance.

you are a creature of destiny.

you have a Creator.

you belong to Someone.

and before you spend another year trying to discover yourself, spend time getting to know the One who made you.

because your purpose is not hidden.

your purpose is Christ.

everything else is an assignment.

The One God cares for,
Oluwatojumi

My letters are expressions of God’s care for you. Please subscribe to receeive them. Thank you <3

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I have a youtube channel where i document my twenties, please check it out <3

you can find me on instagram too <3

my insta <3

i have been away for too long.

two months, to be exact.

the last time I wrote on here, i was in the middle of my final semester and grad prep. things got really busy and i kept telling myself that once I crossed the finish line, things would finally calm down.

well… that chapter is over now.

i graduated and i’m so thankful🥹

p.s: you can catch up on my grad posts and tiktoks on instagram💗

it’s a new chapter…

and somehow, i’m in what i can only describe as a waiting season.

it’s bittersweet.

i’m living in an answered prayer yet dealing with a situation outside my control that could “jeopardize my answered prayer”.

and boyyyy…

i won’t lie to you and say it’s been easy.

i have had my highs and lows.

some days, i feel full of faith.

other days, i feel numb and like i’m simply going through the motions.

and then there are days when i’m completely over it and i crash out.

i remember one of those crash-out moments recently.

i found myself asking God:

“why must there always be something to wait and pray for?”

“why can’t I just get to a stage where everything is calm?”

a stage where there is uninterrupted peace.

and as i thought about these questions, i was quickly reminded of something.

there will never be a time on this side of eternity when we won’t need God.

there will never be a season where dependence becomes unnecessary.

that’s part of what makes us human.

we were never created to be self-sufficient.

so in this season filled with uncertainty, questions, and things that remain unresolved, i have made a decision:

remembrance is my strategy.

i choose to remember.

i choose to bring to mind what God has done before.

His faithfulness in previous seasons.

the prayers He has answered.

the ways He has carried me when i thought i wouldn’t make it through.

the doors He has opened.

the provisions He has made.

the grace He has given.

i choose to look at the bible and remember how He showed up for others.

remembrance is my strategy.

very soon, i’d be back to share my testimony with y’all💌

at the same time, even beyond my personal life, there is so much happening in the world around us.

so much pain.

so much grief.

so much bad news.

even when things are going well in my own life, i find it difficult to look away from the suffering around me.

it is so exhausting.

it breaks my heart.

most days when i pray now, i just feel deeply burdened by it all.

sometime last week, i found myself praying out of frustration:

“Lord, just end it all.”

“i know You desire for more people to come to the knowledge of the gospel…but enough is enough.”

“maranatha. come, Lord Jesus.”

maybe that sounds dramatic.

but I think many believers can relate to this longing and ache.

the desire for Christ to make all things new.

so how are you all staying grounded?

for me, the answer has been the Word.

the Word of God has become such a source of comfort in these times.

i have been reading the Psalms a lot more lately.

and one thing the Psalms continually remind me of is God’s character.

because when you are constantly exposed to suffering, tragedy, and evil, it becomes easy to start asking difficult questions.

questions like:

“if God is good, why is there so much pain?”

i’ve wrestled with those thoughts.

i’ve been tempted to withdraw.

i’ve been tempted toward passivity.

i’ve had moments where worship felt difficult and studying scripture felt harder than usual.

but every time i return to the Word, i am reminded again: God is good. God is always good.

the existence of evil does not diminish His goodness.

the brokenness of this world does not mean He has abandoned it.

if anything, He grieves with us.

and He is a God of justice.

i take comfort in knowing that i serve a righteous Judge who neither sleeps nor slumbers.

nothing escapes His attention.

nothing is forgotten.

nothing is outside His reach.

and because of that, I can trust Him.

everything is going to be okay.

everything will be fine.

on another note…

community.

guys, i really want to be intentional about the community we’re building here.

i’ve been thinking about creating a Substack chat so we can get to know each other beyond these letters.

a place where we can talk, share prayer requests, encourage one another, and just do life together.

would you guys be interested in that?

also…

weekly letters on thursdays? 👀

let me know.

the other day someone told me they had never heard me speak before, but that my writing alone had already encouraged them.

that meant so much to me.

although, if we’re being honest, you will be hearing my voice a lot more now since i have finally started posting on youtube.

with that being said, i just uploaded my second video, yayyyy🥳

i know i went MIA after posting that first video, i’m really sorry guys, i didn’t mean to leave y’all hanging.

i’m also hoping to post on youtube every other thursday biweekly, so hold me accountable😭

thank you for sticking around even during my little two-month disappearance.

i’m glad to be back💌

The One God cares for,

Oluwatojumi

My letters are expressions of God’s care for you. Please subscribe to receive them. Thank you <3

Subscribe now

Please check out my youtube channel and be a part of my community by subscribing. Thank you <3

my youtube channel

Here are links to my other social media platforms as well. I also have a curated playlist of songs to remind you that God cares for you.

all my links.

my name is indeed the testimony of my life.

“God takes care of me.”

let my life be proof to you that God takes care of His children.

if you know me from ig, you’d know that i’m graduating this year… because i haven’t shut up about it lol.

on monday this week, i took my yearbook pictures.

wearing the cap and gown just made everything feel real.

like, i knew graduation was approaching…

but in that moment, it felt real.

all my pictures were so smiley lol.

i couldn’t stop smiling.

anyways, the real story time happened on tuesday.

on tuesday, i completed a final presentation for one of my classes—and just like that, one class is done for the semester.

very much on track to graduate.

but after that class, i suddenly started to worry.

everything is happening so fast.

everything is in place… except one thing:

i still have an outstanding balance.

so i started thinking about all the “what ifs.”

and at some point, i just started crying.

“God, how is this bill going to get paid? you surely did not bring me this far to leave me”

i had applied to a scholarship earlier, but in that moment, i felt like my application wasn’t good enough.

then the Holy Spirit convicted me:

“do you think your ‘good application’ is what takes care of you?”

in that moment, i got the nudge to reach out to someone i had worked with in the past.

i sent him an email explaining my situation

that i’m on track to graduate, but not financially cleared yet.

he replied literally a minute later and connected me with someone else who could help with scholarships.

she sent me a link to an application.

i filled it out.

when i was done, i put my praise playlist on shuffle.

the first song that played was “Nagode” by Dunsin Oyekan.

as i listened, the heaviness i felt got lifted.

i found the strength to stop worrying.

i felt the joy of the Lord well up in my spirit.

and i just started thinking about how much God has helped me in the past.

(i have too many stories, way too many, of His faithfulness in the past…. even my birth is a miracle.

this God has literally fed me all my life.

right from the womb, my mum had to name me Oluwatojumi)

so i stopped crying.

there was a video component to the application, so i recorded it when i got home and submitted it the next morning.

by the end of that day, i had completed everything.

the next morning, i emailed her to let her know.

she responded immediately, saying she’d review my application and get back to me by friday.

about an hour later… she sent another email.

telling me to check my dashboard for a scholarship agreement.

i checked.

and lo and behold… i had been awarded a scholarship.

the amount?

twice my outstanding balance!!!!!

(i’m getting a refund from my school.)

all of this happened in less than 24 hours.

and here’s the part that still amazes me.

this scholarship was awarded out of season.

technically, the people who applied for this scholarship had already received their decisions.

the deadline had already passed.

but the Lord made an exception for me.

the scholarship i had been worrying about…

the one where i felt like my application wasn’t good enough…

i don’t even need it anymore.

coming into this year, the word the Lord gave me was Ebenezer.

“thus far the Lord has helped us.”

and truly, the help i have received this year has been the kind of help that only God can give.

not networking.

not strategy.

not even my own effort.

just the help of God.

thus far, the Lord has helped me.

i’m graduating college debt-free.

the Lord provided all my needs.

and even gave me things that were just nice to have.

i did not lack a thing.

i just want this to be a reminder:

God can be trusted.

cast your cares upon Him.

He is not careless with your life.

for anyone reading this who is trusting God for financial provision— school fees, rent, medical bills, whatever it is….

i pray that your needs are met.

i pray that God sends ravens to bring you food.

i pray that at just the right time, the Lord answers your prayers.

i pray that your eyes are opened to prophetic solutions.

By the wisdom of God, your eyes are opened to see rivers in the wilderness and brooks in the desert.

you will not lack any good thing.

the favor of God opens doors for you.

i pray the help of the Lord comes to you from unlikely sources.

i pray that the Lord does exceeding abundantly above all you can ask or think.

God will not leave you stranded.

He will not mismanage your life.

the economy is not your source.

He is your source.

let my testimony be proof that God will take care of you.

The One God cares for,
Oluwatojumi

p.s. i posted my first video on youtube yesterday. please check it out here:

My letters are expressions of God’s care for you. Please subscribe to receive them. Thank you<3

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For a long time, I was scared of being perceived.

But it wasn’t always like that.

I grew up with so much love. My parents constantly reassured me. They made me feel like I was the best thing in the world. They made me feel like I was the most beautiful girl. My self-confidence was so high, and I really believe it was because of how they loved me.

I was involved in everything.

From dancing, to speaking, to singing.

I excelled in school. I believed I could do anything I put my mind to, and honestly, I did.

I never doubted my worth as a child.

I remember one time in primary school (Primary 1 or 2 i believe), I came 2nd in class. When I showed my parents my results, they praised me so much and even got me gifts. Then later that night, my dad told me he was proud of me, but he also knew I could do better. He asked me to promise him I would come 1st the next term.

And I promised him.

The next term, I came first. And I stayed first until I graduated from primary school.

I was doing really well as a child.

I even remember preparing for entrance exams into one of the best secondary schools in Oyo State, I came 5th out of over 150 students. Then at the state level exams, I came 4th in the whole of Oyo State.

On my primary school graduation day, I remember how much I was praised. Teachers, parents, even friends.

And there was this little girl, she was probably like 5 or 6, who came up to me and said she wanted to be like me when she grows up.

I still think about that moment till this day and I even wonder how the girl is doing now😭.

I was that girl.

Then I turned 10.

And got into secondary school.

I got exposed to a completely different world.

For the first time in my life, I started struggling to believe I was beautiful. Suddenly there were all these unspoken rules.

That’s when I became aware that I had a “big forehead.”

That’s when I learned what it meant to be “flat.”

That’s when I realized not everyone was considered “cool.”

And I tried to fit in.

Mind you, it was kids my age making these comments, creating these standards, saying all these things… and I somehow internalized it.

I became insecure about my looks.

I remember one time in class when they were doing those “finest girl” and “most handsome” rankings. They called me “pretty.”

And their definition of pretty was basically… not beautiful, not ugly—just in between.

I also had a fall that affected my teeth, and I got teased about it. I became insecure about my smile too.

The only thing I really had was academics. That was the one place I still felt validated, so I held onto it.

My secondary school experience wasn’t completely horrible. I had really amazing friends, I was still doing well in school…but internally, there was still comparison, still insecurity, still trying to be enough.

Towards the end of secondary school (2021), I also had really bad acne. I remember one girl saying, “your acne makes you look so old.”

By that point, I was just tired. I was ready to graduate.

I officially graduated in September 2021.

Side note: I don’t think you could pay me to relive those 6 years of secondary school.

If I were to rank the best times of my life, I would say my college years (age 17-20), then my childhood (age 1-9), then secondary school (age 10-16).

Somewhere in all of this, I let the fear of being perceived take over.

I didn’t want to be seen anymore.

I even told myself I wouldn’t post myself on Instagram or go ghost on social media until 2026… after I graduate from college.

That’s how bad it got.

After secondary school, I took a gap year before starting college in August 2022.

In November 2021, I went through heartbreak with my talking stage at the time.

Coming into 2022, I was lonely because all my friends were in school and I was at home.

So, I made a decision to take my walk with God seriously.

I was hungry and yearning for what could satisfy me.

I reaached out to a few of my classmates who were serious with their walk with God and they introduced me to CCI.

It was during that period that I believed the gospel and I encountered Christ for myself.

Side note: Those were really good times, streaming T30 in the evenings on Mixlr. Listening to Pastey’s sermons etc.

I received the life of Christ and I started knowing Him.

And slowly, everything started to change.

God began to heal me from the inside out.

He healed my mind.

He healed my self-esteem.

He healed my sense of worth.

He healed me of depression.

He healed me of anger.

He even healed things I didn’t think could change.

He healed my acne too.

God changed my life and He is still changing my life till I become like Christ.

He gave me a new identity.

Not one tied to my academics.

Not one tied to how I look.

Not one tied to what people think of me.

But one rooted in Christ.

I’m 20 now.

And I’ve realized that as i’m growing in my walk with God, God has been restoring something I lost along the way—my childlike wonder.

The girl who wasn’t afraid.

The girl who just did things because she wanted to.

That girl is coming back.

One of the things I always loved as a child was creating. I loved speaking. I loved writing. I wanted to be a YouTuber.

And I’m so glad I’m finally doing that now.

I am glad to be doing it from a place of freedom and a renewed sense of purpose.

So I created a YouTube channel.

This is for my twenties.

I will be documenting my life one step at a time.

This is just the beginning.

God is writing a story with my life.

He is making a name for Himself with my life, and it’s a privilege to document that journey as it unfolds.

On this channel, expect to see more of my creativity and my personality.

So I have a favour to ask of you, please subscribe to my channel.

If you’re reading this and you haven’t accepted the life of Christ, I just want to encourage you to.

Knowing Christ has been the best thing that has ever happened to me.

In Christ, I found purpose.

The gospel truly is good news and it changed my life. I believe it can change yours too.

You are not too far gone.

You are not too much of a mess.

You haven’t made too many mistakes.

God can give you beauty for ashes.

He can restore the years that were lost.

He is a good Father and He wastes nothing.

More than anything, He offers the gift of eternal life. Please accept it💌

If you have any questions, or you just want to talk about what it means to receive the life of Christ, please feel free to reach out to me, here or on Instagram. I would genuinely love to talk with you.

The One God cares for,
Oluwatojumi

My letters are expressions of God’s care for you. Please subscribe to receeive them. Thank you <3

Subscribe now

Please don’t leave without subscribing to my youtube channel as well. I will be posting very soon.

my channel

Here are links to my other social media platforms as well. I also have a curated playlist of songs to remind you that God cares for you.

all my links.

it’s been a minute since i wrote to you guys.

consider this a mini life update <3

how are you doing? (please let me know in the comments)

personally, i am doing well.

although, this week has been quite hectic.

i felt so tired and weak today.

the plan was for me to lock in as much as i can so i wont have to work as much tomorrow (saturday).

but i couldn’t.

so i have to be up early tomorrow to get my work done.

in case you are wondering what sort of work i have to get done, it is school work😭

for context, i am in my final semester of uni.

i graduate in may (i can’t wait).

but yeah, i have to work on my senior thesis and a couple assignments/ final presentations for my classes.

i remember this time last year, i was also fighting for my life with school work.

i was taking a class that had me stressing daily.

the class was organic chemistry btw.

i was literally failing the class at this point last year.

i was crying so much to God to help me.

and He did!!!

my Daddy gave me the best academic comeback ever.

so surreal because it felt like there was no hope.

but i came, i saw, and i conquered.

those battle scars are reminders for me today that “thus far, it is God who has helped me”.

my EBENEZER!!!

so right now, with school being hectic again.

i know better than to worry and stress myself too much.

God got me.

i have to push myself and work hard but i won’t stress.

i’m taking it one day at a time.

till i cross the finish line (graduation🥰).

PUERTO RICO🇵🇷🏝️☀️

last week, i went on a spring break trip with my girls to Puerto Rico.

i immersed myself in the culture, took pictures, tried new foods, met new people, toured old san juan, hiked the El-yunque National rainforest, took a salsa dance class, took a bomba dance class, played in the water at the beach with my friends, jet skied, and so much more.

my instagram stories last week didn’t do justice to the amount of fun i had (my friend called me out yesterday when i gave her a debrief of my trip✋🏾)

i’d do better guys, and i hope to post a dump later this month.

(your cue to follow me on ig: @_peacetaiwo_)

that trip was so memorable, i wont forget it for a long timeeeee.

i can’t stop thinking about something i read lately from Fiyin Olubiyi’s newsletter.

she said and i quote, “The real question isn’t “did you do your devotion today?” Rather it’s “Did your devotion do something in you?”

i really hope my daily devotion to God keeps doing something in me.

i hope with every passing day, i am becoming more and more like Christ.

i hope i never lose my wonder.

i hope that no matter how hard life gets, i always run back to my secret place.

whew,

i love the Lord so much.

i love Him.

i love Him.

i love Him.

i want to keep loving Him.

with all of me.

i want to love Him with my entire being.

anyways,

i think this is the end of my yap session.

i’m going to watch a movie with my girls.

i really need the reset.

bye guys💌

But I have to admit that some of my lowest moments have been my most intimate times with God.

Pain has a way of removing performance.

When everything is going well, it’s easy to talk about faith.
It’s easy to post scriptures.
It’s easy to say “God is good.”

But when you’re crying at night…
When your chest feels heavy…
When your thoughts are loud…
When you feel misunderstood, disappointed, or heartbroken…

And you still go to God? That’s top tier.

There is something sacred about choosing to take your pain to God instead of running from Him, numbing it, suppressing it, or projecting it unto others.
Crying to Him, pouring everything out.
And then feeling the relief that comes after.

There is something so beautiful about being comforted by God.

Last year, I went through a difficult situation that shook me.
It took a toll on my mental health.
It exposed insecurities.
It forced me to confront fears I didn’t even realize I had.

And for a moment, I was bitter. But I’m glad I didn’t stay there for long.

I stopped pretending and started bringing everything to God.

My confusion. My anger. My disappointment. My grief.

And in those moments of the ugly, tear-filled prayers, I started knowing God differently.

Not just as the God of miracles and breakthroughs.
Not just as Provider or Protector, but as Comforter.
The God who sits with you on your bed while you cry.
The Friend who sticks closer than a brother.
The One who does not rush your healing but walks with you through it.

I learned to trust Him more, not because everything was fixed immediately, but because He was faithful through it all.

I learned that He is the God of both my lowest lows and highest highs.

I don’t know what painful situation you might be going through today,

But I promise you that it won’t last forever.

“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”

And sometimes, that “morning” isn’t the next day.
Sometimes it’s a season later.
Sometimes it’s after growth, pruning, surrender, and healing.
But it comes.

And if you steward your pain well instead of letting it rot inside you, it will produce something in you.

Compassion. Depth. Discernment. Stronger faith. Softer heart.
Amongst other things.

What didn’t destroy me strengthened my relationship with Him.

God healed me.
He refined my character.

And now I know Him in a way I wouldn’t have if everything had been easy.

So no — I am not a lover of pain.

But I am grateful for the God I met in it.

by the way,
i have a gift for you.

during that season, there were songs that held me when i didn’t have words.
songs that felt like God was sitting beside me.

i want to share that playlist with you, as an extension of God’s care to you today.

i pray it comforts you the way it comforted me.
i pray it meets you wherever you are.

thank you for being here. 🤍

The One God cares for
Oluwatojumi

for my apple music users <3

for my spotify users <3

i finished reading leviticus 26 the other day, and i can’t stop thinking about it.

the chapter lays out the covenant blessings God promised the Israelites—abundance, peace, His presence among them etc. then it lists the severe consequences of their disobedience.

what stood out to me most is that God did not end the story with judgment.

after listing the consequences, He made room for grace.

In essence: if my people will confess their sins and humble themselves, I will remember my covenant. I will not abhor them. I will not reject them (leviticus 26:40–46, paraphrased).

that alone dismantles the idea many of us grew up with; that the Old Testament God was harsh, and the New Testament God is kind. at least that’s what i subconsciously believed growing up. but that’s not true.

it is same God with the same heart and the same posture toward repentance.

this passage brought to mind psalms 51:17, “a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise”. God has never been moved by performance. He has always been moved by posture.

what changes with Jesus is not God’s personality, it’s our access.

before Christ, repentance looked like sacrifices, priests, rituals, confession, waiting. after Christ, repentance still involves humility and confession, but now we come through a finished work because grace didn’t begin at the cross; it was revealed there.

think about this: if in the old testament, God gave room for forgiveness, how much more you, who is in Christ?

because if God refused to utterly reject a covenant-breaking, stiff-necked people without the blood of Jesus, then the lie that says “you’ve gone too far” collapses completely for believers today.

and the enemy loves that lie.
he wants shame to keep us hiding when God is literally saying, humble yourself and come closer.

God intentionally creates space for grace. He is not searching for a reason to destroy you. He is looking for a reason to restore you. He gives grace to the humble.

there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. you can come boldly to the throne of grace and find help there.

a broken and contrite heart is not a heart that hates itself. it is a heart that agrees with God and trusts Him enough to return. repentance is not groveling and begging for love. it is returning to Love.

To grovel to someone means to act excessively submissive, humble, or servile, often by showing extreme respect, begging, or flattering them to gain favor, forgiveness, or approval, as if physically crawling on the ground before them. It implies degrading oneself out of fear, weakness, or a desire to please, making them feel superior.

don’t let the devil lie to you about the mercy of God.
if He made room for forgiveness then, how much more now.

The One God cares for,
Oluwatojumi

My letters are expressions of God’s care for you. Please subscribe to receive them. Thank you <3

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it was small. almost mundane. but it felt like a whisper from God.

wednesdays are my busiest mornings.
i wake up at 6am, spend an hour in devotion, freshen up, and leave by 7:30am to get to the gym by 8. i work out until 9, head back home, make breakfast, shower, get dressed, eat, and leave again by 10:40am to get to school by 11.

it’s tight. but it works.

and i like that it works.

as someone who loves structure and loves sticking to the plan and to-do lists, i hate running late.

i’ve heard people like that are called “type A.”

i like things organized. timed. intentional.
i don’t love spontaneous changes.
i don’t love when plans unravel.

so when i ran late this morning and left at 10:45 instead of 10:40, i told myself,
“okay, i just have to walk faster.”
quarter way into my walk, i realized i had left my laptop charger at home.

i had to turn around.

this was not in the schedule.

in my mind, i wanted to scream.

but i held my composure and walked back home.

and as i walked, it felt like God was teaching me surrender.

because the truth is, structure can quietly become control.

and control can quietly become a false sense of security.

i love plans.
but plans don’t save me.

i love efficiency.
but efficiency doesn’t sustain me.

sometimes God allows small inconveniences to loosen our grip — not to frustrate us, but to free us.

maybe the charger wasn’t just about a charger.

maybe it was about reminding me that even when the plan shifts, He is still sovereign.

maybe it was about teaching me that surrender doesn’t always look dramatic.

sometimes surrender looks like:

not screaming.
turning around.
walking back home.
and trusting that God is in the detour.

i got home, grabbed my charger and started walking again. by now, i knew i would likely be at least twenty minutes late. i didn’t want that. so i prayed:

“God, please let the shuttle bus that sometimes drives this road come my way.”

and immediately after praying, a thought crossed my mind:

what if it doesn’t happen?

i answered myself:

“well, at least i’ll get my steps in. count it all joy regardless.”

but as i walked, i kept looking back.

i kept checking the road.

because i know my Father hears me.

and that’s when it struck me.

so many of us pray and then emotionally detach because we’re afraid of disappointment. we pray and then we brace ourselves for silence.

but i didn’t detach.

i prayed and kept checking the road.

eventually, i looked back again, and i saw the bus.

the shuttle usually doesn’t stop at that point. but there was a stop sign, and the bus had no choice but to stop.

i walked up, signaled to the driver, and he let me in.

i was so happy.

to my surprise, the bus driver was listening to a sermon.

i told him he was an answered prayer. i explained how i had just prayed for the shuttle to come, and here he was.

it was such a small thing.

but it wasn’t small to me.

what happened this morning reminded me of Elijah in 1 kings 18.

after years of drought, Elijah prayed for rain. but he didn’t just pray once and walk away. he prayed and told his servant, “go and look toward the sea.”

the servant checked.

nothing.

Elijah prayed again.

“go and look.”

still nothing.

he did this seven times.

SEVEN!!!

he didn’t stop praying just because the sky was still clear.

and what’s powerful is the fact that when the servant finally saw something, it wasn’t a storm. it wasn’t thunder. it wasn’t heavy rain.

it was a small cloud.

just a tiny cloud the size of a man’s hand.

but Elijah recognized it as the beginning of rain.

sometimes the shuttle bus is our “small cloud.”

not the full storm.
not the final breakthrough.
just evidence that He hears.

as i sat on that bus, i realized the Holy Spirit was teaching me something deeper than time management.
don’t stop praying the prayers you quietly pushed aside.
don’t stop expecting.

just because the sky is clear doesn’t mean rain isn’t forming.

just because the first six glances show nothing doesn’t mean the seventh won’t carry a cloud.

sometimes faith looks like looking back down the road after you’ve prayed.

and sometimes surrender looks like letting go of your perfect schedule long enough for God to show you that He is still in control.

God cares about the details.

He cares about your “laptop charger”.
He cares about your “shuttle buses”.
He cares about your “10:45 departures”.
He cares about your heart rate when you’re trying not to scream.

nothing is too mundane for Him.

we often think God only moves in the dramatic— healings, breakthroughs, doors opening.

but today He moved in a stop sign.

in a bus route.

in a sermon playing through speakers.

and it felt like Him saying,
“i see you. i hear you. i care.”

this moment gently convicted me.

there are prayers i’ve prayed and stopped praying because i haven’t seen the cloud yet.

but today reminded me:

keep checking the sky.
keep expecting.
keep trusting.

the one who cares about rain also cares about your commute.

God cares about you.
He cares about your life.
He cares about the seemingly little details.

i am proof of that.

i was reminded of this note i made sometime in November last year as part of my daily confessions.

today, i want to leave you with this scripture:

“And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting, looking, and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him [for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless, unbroken companionship]

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭30‬:‭18‬ ‭AMPC‬‬

the Lord waits to be gracious.

He is not irritated by your prayers.
He is not reluctant to bless.
He is not distant, arms folded, unmoved.

He waits.

He is expecting. looking. longing.

and blessed are those who wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him.

The one God cares for,
Oluwatojumi

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What stands out to me most in the book of Exodus is the provision of God, not just that He provided, but how thoroughly He did.

God provided food; manna from heaven.
He provided water; water from a rock.
He provided wealth; when the Israelites were about to leave Egypt, the Egyptians gave them all their wealth.

And when it was time to build a tabernacle for the presence of God, they had everything they needed.

Gold.
Silver.
Bronze.
Precious stones.
Expensive, rich materials.

There was no lack.

They did not borrow . Where would they even borrow from?
They were in the wilderness.

Mind you, these were people who were just slaves. From slaves to being so wealthy.

God saw all their needs for building the tabernacle ahead of time, and He made sure they had enough. In Exodus 36:5–7, Moses had to instruct the people to stop bringing their gifts because they had more than enough.

God is indeed a good Father.

This even points back to the story of Jesus.

God provided Himself as the sacrifice.
We did not have to do anything.

All He ever wants from us in return is relationship.

God is literally the One I would see making a covenant agreement without demanding something in return to fulfill the terms of the agreement. He forever stays faithful to His promise.

The fact that the children of Israel spent 40 years in the wilderness and did not lack a thing because God was kind to them… this gives me so much confidence and hope.

How much more me, who is now in Christ Jesus?

He will surely provide all my needs.
I don’t need to worry.
Even before the need arises, He made a way out.

My pastor asked a question paints a beautiful picture of provision:

“Which came first in the story of creation, water or the ability to thirst?”

He created water first.

Meaning, before the need arises, He already made a way.

What a God.

So when God asks us to do something, He is calling us to partner with Him. And what a privilege it is to partner with Him in what He is doing.

If He sends you to do something, He will provide the resources.

Don’t worry.

And I know it’s not always easy to trust sometimes.

But I hope that in moments of doubt, when it looks like you are hopeless, you are brave enough to pick up your Bible and look at the track record of His faithfulness, and then hope again.

All your needs are met in Christ.
He will never leave you stranded.

Another thing that really stood out to me is the excellence of God.

He doesn’t do things shabbily.
The best of the best was used in building the tabernacle.

Everything was beautiful, even down to the clothing of the priests.

“Bezalel made the chestpiece with great skill and care. He made it to match the ephod, using finely woven linen embroidered with gold and with blue, purple, and scarlet thread.”
Exodus 39:8 (NLT)

This challenged me deeply.

Scripture tells us to do everything as unto the Lord. So if that’s true, then everything we are doing as unto the Lord should be done with great skill and care.

The one who God cares for,
Oluwatojumi

My letters are expressions of God’s care for you. Subscribe to receive them. Thank you <3

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my links.

Really?

That phrase is not biblical.

What it actually is, is a misinterpretation of 1 Corinthians 10:13.

“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”

‭‭I Corinthians‬ ‭10‬:‭13‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

This verse is not about suffering, it’s about temptation. It tells us that when we are tempted, God provides a way of escape so that we can endure it.

But suffering? Trials?

God often gives us more than we can handle, and He does it on purpose.

The apostle Paul says this plainly in 2 Corinthians 1:8–9:

This was not easy.

It was beyond their capacity.

And that was the point.

As believers, there will be seasons when we feel crushed.

When we feel confused.

When we feel stretched beyond what we think we can endure.

God never promised us a life of ease.

What He promised us is His presence.

He promised a way through.

He promised that His grace is sufficient for us.

He promised, “I am with you.”

He promised, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

He promised, “My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

Our struggles are proof that we are human.

And often, God allows us to reach the end of ourselves so that we can finally learn how to lean on and trust Him.

So yes, God will give you more than you can handle.

So that you can trust the One who can.

The one God cares for,

Oluwatojumi

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When God revealed His name to Moses in Exodus 3:14, He was not merely offering a title. He was unveiling His nature.

God does not derive life from anything outside of Himself.

He simply is.

He has no beginning and no end.

No dependence.

No deficiency.

He exists in fullness, completeness, and eternal sufficiency.

Yet within this name, “I AM,” there is something even more intimate.

“I AM” reveals God as the Becoming One, not because He changes in essence, but because He faithfully meets His people in their place of need. God remains unchanging in who He is, yet He reveals Himself in ways that perfectly correspond to the moment His people are in.

When Israel was enslaved, He revealed Himself as I AM who delivers.

When they were wandering, He became I AM who guides.

When they were hungry, He became I AM who provides.

When they were threatened, He became I AM who protects.

We see this again in the New Testament. Throughout the Gospels, Jesus repeatedly declares:

to the hungry, I AM the Bread of Life.

to the wandering, I AM the Good Shepherd.

to the dead, I AM the Resurrection and the Life.

and before Abraham was, I AM.

God does not wait for our lives to be orderly before revealing Himself.

He meets us in the mess, the lack, the uncertainty and shows Himself sufficient there.

This is why the name “I AM” is an invitation.

It invites us to bring the blank spaces of our lives before Him. Not because God is undefined, but because our need reveals which aspect of His fullness we are about to encounter.

God does not say, “I was,” as though He were only your past help.

He does not say, “I will be,” as though He were distant or delayed.

He says, “I AM”—present, available, and sufficient now.

My prayer for you this week is that the revelation of “I AM” becomes clearer.

That you grow more conscious of how fully He is the answer to whatever is lacking in your life.

That you show up honestly in the place of prayer.

Because before you even name the need, He already is.

The one God takes care of,

Oluwatojumi

This letter is an extension of God’s care to you.

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To believe is to place your trust in someone or something.

Belief says, “I don’t see everything, but I trust enough to follow.”

That’s what happened when we believed the gospel.

We didn’t have all the answers, but we had enough trust to say yes.

But believing doesn’t mean we never struggle.

And that’s where doubt enters the conversation.

Doubt is not the absence of belief.

It is tension within belief.

Doubt lives inside faith, not outside of it.

Doubt asks questions.

It wrestles.

It says, “I believe… but I’m struggling to reconcile what I see with what I trust.”

And something we often miss is this:

doubt is not an invitation to look deeper into ourselves for answers, it is rather an invitation to lean more fully on God.

Doubt exposes the limits of our understanding so that we can release our grip on it.

It reminds us that faith is not rooted in our ability to figure things out,

but in our willingness to trust God even when we cannot.

Doubt is not rebellion.

Doubt is not unbelief.

Doubt is not disbelief.

Unbelief is different.

Unbelief is a settled lack of trust.

It says, “I’m not convinced enough to trust.”

Disbelief goes even further.

It is an active rejection. It is a conscious decision to deny something as false.

It says, “This is not true, and I reject it.”

These distinctions matter, because Jesus responds differently to each one.

When Jesus encounters doubt, He responds with compassion, invitation, and patience.

We see this clearly with Thomas. After the resurrection, Thomas struggled to believe without evidence. Jesus didn’t shame him or rebuke him harshly. Instead, He appeared personally and invited Thomas to examine His wounds. Jesus revealed Himself more fully to a doubting disciple.

We see the same response in Mark 9, when a father cried out, “I believe; help my unbelief.”

Jesus did not reject this man’s imperfect faith.

He didn’t demand certainty.

He healed the child anyway.

Jesus honors honest faith, even when it is weak and trembling.

But when Jesus encounters disbelief, His response is different.

Disbelief is met with warning, confrontation, and eventually withdrawal.

The Pharisees witnessed miracles and still refused to believe. Jesus called out their hardness of heart and stopped persuading them. He gave no more proofs and walked away.

In Nazareth, we are told Jesus could not do many miracles….not because He lacked power, but because unbelief closed the door. Jesus was amazed at their unbelief and moved on.

Unbelief doesn’t limit God’s ability,

it limits His willingness.

Jesus does not force Himself on resistant hearts.

But He will always meet a wrestling one.

In Galatians 6:16, we are called the Israel of God, and the name Israel literally means one who wrestles with God. Before Jacob was renamed Israel, he wrestled with God—and God met him right there.

Wrestling isn’t a lack of faith.

It is faith taking God seriously enough to engage Him honestly.

It is choosing to trust God’s wisdom over our own understanding,

even when that surrender is uncomfortable,

even when the answers feel delayed,

even when faith feels costly.

We are not a people defined by flawless faith, but by persistent pursuit.

So I don’t know what you are wrestling with right now.

I don’t know what questions are keeping you up at night or what tension you are carrying in your heart.

But the point of this letter is simple:

you don’t have to carry those questions alone.

You don’t have to resolve them in your own strength.

You don’t have to find certainty within yourself.

You can bring them to Jesus.

He is not afraid of your questions.

He is not threatened by sincere doubt.

But He is deeply grieved by hardened disbelief.

If you are wrestling, bring it to Him.

If you are questioning, bring it to Him.

If you are struggling to reconcile what you see with what you trust, bring it to Him.

Jesus meets wrestlers.

And He cares for you.

So you can cast all your cares and anxieties upon Him.

This letter is an extension of God’s care for you, so subscribe💌

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With all my love,

The one God takes care of

Oluwatojumi 🤍

“vanity upon vanity, all is vanity.”

lately, i have found myself standing in Solomon’s shoes.

not because i hate life.

not because i think life isn’t worth living.

but because, more than ever before, i understand the frailty of human life.

i see how fleeting things are.

how quickly seasons change.

how easily what once felt permanent slips through our fingers.

everything under the sun is so fragile.

it’s temporary. it’s passing.

one scripture i have been holding tightly is psalms 103:14.

it says that God knows my frame, He remembers that i am dust.

this truth reminds me of how weak i am to carry a weight that i was never meant to bear.

nothing else will truly satisfy but Jesus.

there is a God-sized hole in me.

and i have tried to fill it with substitutes—people, academic validation, career aspirations, productivity.

but none of these things could anchor me. they can’t give me meaning, stability, assurance.

so i lean on God.

i choose to walk with Him daily.

i choose to put my hope in Him, not occasionally, not when everything else fails, but intentionally.

because He is a solid rock.

He is a sure foundation.

when other things fail, and they always do, i can trust Him.

He is my Daddy.

something else i have learned is that we will never fully appreciate, or even deeply desire, the hope of our true Love if lesser loves don’t disappoint us.

and so, strangely, i am grateful when lesser loves disappoint me.

i am grateful when they reveal their limits.

when they show me they cannot save me.

when they gently, or painfully, point me back to the One who can.

because every disappointment has been the exact appointment my soul needed to encounter God.

every unmet expectation has been a redirection.

every crack has let the light of Christ shine through.

vanity upon vanity, yes.

but grace upon grace too.

and in that grace, i have found rest.

i will leave you with this question: what lesser loves have you been asking to do what only God can?

happy new year guys💌

this community is growing daily, and i’m thankful for every single one of you for being here.

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if i had to choose a song that sums up my 2025, this would be it.

2025, the year of formation.

this year held good, bad, messy, and ugly moments.

and somehow, all of it mattered.

i laughed. i cried.

i made mistakes. i grieved my mistakes.

i had wins. i learned. i stretched.

through it all, i’m grateful that i never did life alone.

i did it with Jesus, and the people He blessed me with.

i’m grateful that my God was faithful.

this year exposed my frailty.

i am more aware of my flaws, yet more anchored in truth: that i am loved, chosen, and held by a perfect sovereign God who wastes nothing.

i am more aware of my daily need for God’s grace.

all in all, i rest in the truth that God is still writing my story not only through the “beautiful” parts, but also through the messy ones.

i’m grateful for the life i have.

i am grateful for my lived experiences.

i’m grateful for the people i have been privileged to cross paths with.

i’m grateful that i discovered parts of myself i never imagined i would meet.

2025, you weren’t easy,

but you were formative.

now, with gratitude for what was,

i let go of the past,

and i fix my gaze on what lies ahead.

(philippians 3:13)

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i used to believe that if i could just point out what was wrong clearly enough, articulately enough, honestly enough, it would lead to growth.

that correction, when done “in love,” was effective communication and would be received as wisdom.

but lived experience taught me otherwise.

As Dale Carnegie writes in How to Win Friends and Influence People:

“Criticism is futile because it puts people on the defensive and usually makes them strive to justify themselves. Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts their sense of importance, and arouses resentment.”

looking back, i see myself in that description, not just as the one offering criticism, but as the one receiving it too.

this is human nature at work.

when confronted, it takes a great deal of maturity to respond with humility.

more often, we explain. we defend. we shift blame. we justify ourselves.

so when you and i are tempted to criticize someone tomorrow,

it’s worth remembering that the person we are correcting will probably justify themselves,

and that is not the outcome we want.

instead of criticizing or condemning, let’s try to understand. Let’s try to figure out why people do what they do. That approach is far more profitable than criticism, and it leads to a better outcome: sympathy, tolerance, and kindness.

isn’t it strange how this works?

when we’re pleased, we often keep it to ourselves.

but when we’re disappointed, we speak freely.

Proverbs 17:9 (CEV) says,

“You will keep your friend if you forgive them, but you will lose your friends if you keep talking about what they did wrong.”

love is not obsessed with finding faults.

it doesn’t keep a running list of wrongs.

it chooses preservation over precision.

it understands that affirmation, when sincere, can do what criticism never will.

as much as i’m writing this for you, i'm also writing it for myself.

in 2026, i want to do better.

i want to be “too much.”

too expressive.

too affirming.

too honest with my appreciation.

if i admire someone, i want to say it.

if someone blesses me, i want them to know.

if a compliment crosses my mind, i don’t want to just think it, i want to speak it.

love was never meant to be hoarded.

the One who is love lives inside of us, which means we are not at risk of running out.

and when you understand that it is more blessed to give than to receive, it frees you from the awkwardness that comes when love isn’t always reciprocated.

of course, i pray we all find people who love us in return.

but reciprocity was never meant to be the foundation of our love, obedience is.

so this is my commitment going forward: to love my people as loudly as i can.

to stop letting fear sabotage what i actually want.

to let go of the past and move forward healed, open, and unguarded.

With love,

Tojumi

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many things happening in our lives are not the direct will of God, but the fruit of what we have sown.

this doesn’t diminish God’s sovereignty.

it only clarifies our responsibility.

scripture is honest about this.

there are consequences woven into creation, whether spiritual, moral, relational, and even physical.

sometimes what we call “God’s will” is simply the results of choices made over time.

another misconception is that the enemy only attacks people who are doing wrong.

satan attacks whether you are godly or not. you don’t have to be in disobedience to face opposition.

in fact, sometimes you are attacked you are doing something right.

scripture tells us that in this world we will have troubles, but we should be of good cheer because Jesus has overcome the world.

yes, we have won the battles.

but there is still a need to fight.

the difference is we are fighting from victory, not for victory.

nothing stresses me out more than the way we sometimes spiritualize irresponsibility.

“if it’s God’s will, it will happen.”

“if it is God, it will be easy.”

“if it is God, there will be peace.”

“what will be will be.”

“que sera sera.”

“God is sovereign, He controls everything.”

yes. God is sovereign.

but His sovereignty doesn’t cancel human responsibility.

you still have a part to play.

God is a God of order.

He established systems and laws, both spiritual and natural, and He does not violate them casually.

if you climb to the top of a building and jump off, it is not because God willed your death. He will not suspend the law of gravity to accommodate poor decisions.

The law exists whether you acknowledge it or not.

in the same way:

you can treat your relationships carelessly, neglect love and honor, and then say, “i guess it’s just God’s will” when things fall apart.

you can skip studying and hope grace will carry you through an exam.

you can pray for provision, but refuse to work, and expect money to appear.

scripture is plain: “he who does not work, let him not eat.”

even salvation shows us this balance clearly.

God’s will is that all men be saved.

yet, in His sovereignty, He allows free will. He does not force salvation.

the responsibility to respond is left to humanity.

this is where the balance matters, it is not all on you either.

effort without God is pride.

we are called to work, and then ask the Lord to bring the increase.

to labor, and ask Him to bless the work of our hands.

to show up faithfully, and ask Him for favor.

to steward relationships intentionally, and ask Him for wisdom.

and when we fail, and we will btw, let’s not rush to say, “well, it must have been God’s will.”

sometimes the holiest thing you can do is simply admit that you missed it.

and then ask God for help to learn from your mistakes and move forward.

God is a good Father.

and one thing about Him is that He knows how to restore.

so instead of exhausting yourself trying to determine whether God caused or merely allowed something, you can rest in the truth that He uses all things for good.

even missteps.

even consequences.

even seasons you wish you had handled better.

nothing is wasted in His hands.

With love,

Tojumi

no bible study tools, just reading to know.

i started from 1 Samuel and i am now making my way through 2 Kings.

and honestly, one thing has stood out to me more than ever before:

the wickedness of the human heart is not exaggerated.

these were not fairy-tale characters.

these were real people; leaders, kings, families, with real flaws and devastating consequences.

because what do you mean the biblical record includes:

rape.

betrayal.

prostitution.

assassinations.

political corruption.

parents sacrificing their own children to pagan gods.

pregnant women being ripped open during war.

it is disturbing. it is heavy. and it is intentionally recorded.

the Bible does not flinch at the darkness of humanity.

it doesn’t edit history to make us look better than we were.

it tells the truth, fully and unapologetically, so that one conclusion becomes unavoidable:

we needed a Savior.

the problem was never merely external.

not bad leadership.

not bad systems.

not surrounding nations.

the problem was internal.

sin was, and still is, the root issue.

reading these stories forces me to confront an uncomfortable reality: the same heart capable of unimaginable evil then is the same heart humanity carries now.

time didn’t heal it.

progress didn’t fix it.

knowledge didn’t redeem it.

only God could.

alongside humanity’s repeated failure, another truth is clear to me:

God keeps His word.

not one word He speaks falls to the ground.

not one promise fails.

not one warning is empty.

everything He said would happen did happen,

both blessing and judgment,

each in its appointed time.

God was never reacting.

He was never impulsive.

He was never caught off guard by human rebellion.

something else that struck me deeply is how patient He was.

He warned.

He sent prophets.

He pleaded.

He waited.

He delayed judgment far longer than justice demanded.

God is not indifferent to sin, but He is slow to anger.

He is holy, but He is also faithful.

faithful to His word.

faithful to His covenant.

faithful even when His people were not.

reading the old testament doesn’t make me question God’s goodness, it magnifies it.

because knowing how dark the human story truly is makes grace all the more breathtaking.

if this is what humanity looked like without a Savior, then the cross was not optional.

it was necessary.

and somehow, in the midst of all this brokenness, God was already writing a redemption story that would eventually bring us Jesus.

Jesus is the proof that justice and mercy can meet, and that God wastes nothing, not even our worst chapters.

With love,

Tojumi

that He sees everything—past, present, and future—all at once.

scripture tells us that He knows the end from the beginning.

He is all-knowing, never learning, never surprised, never reacting.

but what humbles me even more is this:

God knew how i would respond to the gospel before i ever existed.

before i had a name.

before i took a breath.

before i ever said yes.

and yet, He chose me.

God is sovereign, and human responsibility does not limit Him.

so even before the foundation of the world, He knew i would one day respond to His call. and because He knew that, He pursued me patiently; through people, moments, conversations, and divine interruptions.

He didn’t give up on me.

He extended grace again and again.

salvation really is a miracle.

not because i found God.

but because God found me first.

He loved me first.

He pursued me first.

He kept me until the day i said yes.

what a privilege it is.

what a wonder it is that this all-seeing, all-knowing, all-wise God set His love on me, fully aware of who i am.

so today, i want to remind you:

God never loved you under illusions.

He never loved you with false expectations.

He knows every weakness you haven’t discovered yet.

every mistake you will make.

every small compromise.

every big disappointment.

He is not shocked by your limitations.

He knows your frailty.

He remembers you are dust.

and yet, He chose you.

your failures may grieve God,

but they never threaten His choice.

grief is the emotion of someone who cares.

rejection is the emotion of someone who gives up.

and as long as you have breath in your lungs, God has not rejected you.

there is hope for you.

you cannot surprise Him.

you cannot out-sin His grace.

you cannot out-fail His mercy.

and the knowledge of this should leave you in awe.

it should lead you to surrender.

it should cultivate gratitude.

it should humble you.

it should teach you how to trust Him.

because He who has begun a good work in you will complete it and present you faultless.

He doesn’t demand perfection, He desires your heart.

He is not asking you to earn His grace, He wants you to rest in it.

nothing you do will ever be enough to repay Him.

you will never be enough on your own.

but Jesus is enough.

His sacrifice is enough.

His blood is enough.

His righteousness is enough.

so worship.

say yes to Him, daily.

With love,

Tojumi