“Why do you work?”

Without missing a beat, I answered, “to make money.”

And honestly, that's because lately I've been worried about all the things I probably shouldn't be worried about. The two wars we're watching unfold, inflation, an economy that feels like it's waiting to pop, where my next client is coming from. My brain has been stuck in survival mode.

Then he responded, “that can’t be the only reason you work. I work because I want to help people.”

It was in that moment that I realized he wasn’t asking me how I earn a living. He was asking me what I believe my work is for.

His question completely stumped me. Even after years of making content about work, ambition, and finding value beyond your job, I didn’t have an answer.

Or at least, I didn’t have the words for it.

The question ear wormed its way into my brain over the next few days.

What was I actually put on this earth to do? How do you know if you’ve found your purpose?

Does it announce itself one day, or has it quietly been there all along?

Instead of trying to invent an answer, I started looking backward.

I combed through my life and realized there had always been a thread running through it.

My social media accounts under the guise of @PersonWithJob. Volunteering eight years of my time to run my alma mater’s alumni council. Learning about wine. Choosing a career in marketing. On paper, these things seem completely unrelated.

But underneath all of them was the same motivation. I’ve always wanted to connect people.

Whether that’s connecting people to stories, connecting people to one another, or helping people feel a little less alone in whatever they’re going through.

Isn’t it funny how life works that way?

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The only reason I couldn’t answer the question wasn’t because I’d been living aimlessly. It was because I’d never stopped to zoom out and look at the common thread running through the choices I’d already made.

Maybe purpose isn’t something you discover all at once. Maybe it’s something you recognize in hindsight.

So maybe this month, instead of asking yourself what you do, ask yourself why you’ve kept choosing to do it.

The answer might already be there.

Until next month,

– person with job

As I reflected on the year that went by, I realized that, for whatever reason, writing these newsletters was sometimes a pain in the butt. There were months where I genuinely dreaded sitting down to write them.

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Why, you ask?

Well… because it meant that I needed to sit, think, write, record, send, distribute, amp, (i’m exhausted). The carrot for me has always been the same: to make these newsletters a little more in-depth, a little more personal, and a little more thoughtful so that I could connect with other people in a meaningful way.

Around the same time as this newsletter anniversary, I also started noticing stagnation in my social growth. And like most people, my brain immediately started racing through a list of reasons why I wasn’t growing.

• I wasn’t cute enough.

• I wasn’t polished enough.

• AI told me I wasn’t memorable enough.

• XYZ, ETC…

But ultimately, I landed on a hypothesis: it was because I wasn’t willing to become a consumable product.

I watched creators who started years after me zoom past my follower count in a fraction of the time it took me to reach 31,000 followers. Naturally, I became self-conscious. What many of them did, and what I’ve actively resisted doing, was flattening themselves into something easily consumable. They became known for one or two specific things that the average person could immediately understand and subscribe to.

Even writing that gives me anxiety.

Because the reason I started this account in the first place was to relate to other people by telling corporate horror stories while I was deeply burnt out during the pandemic. It was never my intention to make myself the product for others to consume.

To be honest, I’ve always been someone with an acquired taste.

Lately, I’ve felt this tension between simplifying myself enough to become “the one thing” girl and staying true to who I actually am. And that tension bums me out.

Because I am NOT A PRODUCT THAT YOU CAN PACKAGE AND SELL. It’s a weird thing to package up yourself to sell to others to be consumable. That’s why my account name is PERSON with job, because a person is contradictory, not one dimensional.

Don’t get me wrong - if there is an opportunity that aligns with my values, I am absolutely open to taking that bag. But I refuse to remake my personality to be more consumable. Not everything worth doing needs to accrue money, income, sponsorships, or monetization.

For those of you who have followed me for a while, you know that most of my videos are a little bit of a brain scratcher. They’re sometimes not obvious. They require context. They require lived experience. They require curiosity.

I often wish more people were interested in those kinds of conversations, but I also have to remind myself that not everyone is.

So when I see the stagnation, I try to remember that my audience was never meant to be everyone. It’s those who have been through the struggles of corporate work, those who have been burnt out, those who have been cheated on, those who have felt lonely (intellectually, professionally, or romantically).

That audience may be smaller, but those are my people.

So I say all of this to say: I reject the flattening of even this alias that many of you know me by.

Even if it means slower growth.

Even if it means fewer opportunities.

Even if it means I never fully monetize this platform.

Because I would rather be a person than a product.

Maybe growth would come faster if I became “the career girl,” “the corporate girl,” “the burnout girl,” or “the wine girl.”

But I’ve never been interested in becoming a character.

The whole reason I started Person With Job was because I believed people are more complicated than their job titles, their niches, and certainly more complicated than an algorithm can understand.

So if growth comes slower because I refuse to flatten myself into a product, then so be it. I’d rather be a person than a product.

Until next month,

– person with job

🎉 1 Year Mailroom Giveaway! 🎉

To celebrate the 1 year milestone and anniversary of “The Mailroom” I would love to write you a thank you note with some PWJ goodies (stickers mostly).

If you’re open to this - please respond back to this newsletter or email me (person.w.job@gmail.com) with your name and mailing address!

Thank you for being such early supporters!

Coming Soon: Season 3 of Meet a Person With Job

Lots of anniversaries this summer (can you tell I have more time to do creative things around this time?)! Season 3 of “Meet a Person With Job” is coming soon - please stay tuned and revisit some of the previous episodes on TikTok, YT and IG!

Sneak peek with Hannah Williams from Salary Transparent Street!

Let’s take a step back. As a recovering Type A person who loves rules and order, this has been a revelation in my life. I call myself a recovering Type A because I have started to let go… A LOT… over the last five years.

One could say that the last five years marked the end of my Saturn return (for my astrology girlies), the start of my thirties, or simply a post-pandemic reckoning that changed everyone’s lives. Whatever the catalyst was that shifted my Type A personality away from the more polemic ends of the spectrum, I slowly started inching my way toward the middle.

I will say that I still have tendencies to want to control, perfect, and over-detail plans, especially when it comes to work. But where I’ve noticed the biggest shift is in my relationships.

It started with my first friendship breakup due to differing life paths, particularly the ones many women face when deciding whether to start a family. I lost a friend of over a decade who, like me, once said, “I’m never going to have a child,” only to later send me a text berating me: “You never even asked to meet my child!”

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In this instance, my Type A personality went into overdrive trying to repair the beginning of this fracture. I texted my friend more than she responded to me. I got upset when she wouldn’t respond for weeks, sometimes months. I even tried to have a “come to Jesus” conversation with her in person, where my emotions got the best of me and I cried over the loss of our deteriorating relationship at a public restaurant.

But none of it helped, because my friend’s priorities had simply changed, and I was no longer high on that list. I only fully realized this once I started to let go and the silence remained. I felt grief not only for one of my longest friendships ending, but also for all the effort and energy I poured into trying to save something that no longer wanted to be saved.

Since then, I’ve adopted this approach across many areas of my life, especially with work.

You may read this and think, “Well, I could’ve told you that,” because we often hear this kind of wisdom from our elders when we’re young. We tend to discount it because it feels like another dogmatic axiom adults use to patronize us.

With this shift, I felt slightly peeved because I could hear the faint “I told you so” from older mentors and my parents in the back of my head. But more than that, I started wondering whether this was actually a skill, or simply the nature of time doing its job.

Is the art of letting go and accepting the things you cannot control a learnable skill? Or is it just a byproduct of aging and becoming too tired to keep forcing things? Is letting go a form of wisdom, or simply surrendering to the pressures of life?

This thought irritated me because it made me feel like I had no agency in determining the outcome, which my Type A brain found deeply annoying.

I know we don’t live in a black-and-white world, and that the push and pull between these extremes is probably healthy. I also don’t think there is one right answer to the question of “letting go.” The fuzziness of that answer still bothers the Type A part of me, but I think that’s the lesson itself: allowing things to remain fuzzy while focusing on the things I can control, namely myself, my emotions, my perspective, and my reactions.

In Korean, there’s a word called “chul” (철), which literally means steel, but is used in phrases like “철든 사람” or “철들었어,” loosely translating to “you’ve matured” or “you’ve grown wise.” I know these ideas overlap heavily with stoicism, but we’re not going to get into that right now.

Since realizing this, I’ve felt like something has fundamentally shifted internally. I feel more rested and at peace by not worrying about certain things and accepting that some outcomes simply cannot be controlled. Oddly enough, that acceptance satisfies my Type A desire to stay in control, because accepting something is still an active decision I am making.

And strangely, by letting go, I feel a renewed sense of energy to let new things into my life. I think that’s the irony of it all. The tighter I tried to hold onto certain people, outcomes, and expectations, the more exhausted I became. Letting go hasn’t completely felt like losing control. (BUT PLS! I don’t want to hear “I told you so’s”).

Until next month

– person with job

Every 1.5 to 2 years, I’d switch jobs. Not out of restlessness, but out of necessity. Each move meant a significant bump in compensation or a leap in responsibility. Back then, there was no language for it. Now, it’s everywhere on social media: a survival strategy for people who realized the old promise of “climb one ladder” wasn’t delivering anymore.

I spent those years chasing the 10,000-hour mark. Malcolm Gladwell’s promise that mastery lives on the other side of deep, focused practice. Ten thousand hours. For a white collar worker, that’s roughly three focused hours a day over 5 to 10 years. Making analytics sheets. Building templates. Cultivating relationships. Strategic thinking. Managing teams. Leadership.

Things Are Changing So Quickly

In recent months, we’ve watched companies like Amazon and Block (which just laid off 40% of its workforce and openly attributed it to AI replacement) hollow out their ranks. The white collar jobs that were supposed to be safe, the ones that required years of accumulated judgment and nuance, are disappearing. And they’re being replaced not by better humans, but by a worker that requires no training, no mistakes, no learning curve: AI.

This isn’t just about job displacement. It’s about what happens to expertise when the distance between “entry level” and “functional” collapses to nearly nothing.

For decades, the American Dream had a clear architecture: work hard, build expertise, climb, own a home, travel, live comfortably. That promise was built on the assumption that expertise was scarce. That your 10,000 hours made you valuable. But what happens when the job you spent five years learning to do exceptionally well can now be done adequately by something that doesn’t sleep, doesn’t negotiate salary, and doesn’t require onboarding?

Where can this new crop of workers gain those hours for their expertise if the most coveted jobs are no longer hiring?

The problem isn’t just displacement. It’s that we’re losing the pathway to expertise itself.

This isn't abstract to me anymore. As the Chair of my University’s Alumni Network, I hear and meet from Seniors and recent graduates about their difficulties securing a job post graduation.

Many expected entry-level positions to be their training ground. The place where they’d accumulate that first thousand hours, make mistakes, learn what they didn’t know. But if those jobs can be handled by AI with no learning curve and no friction, where does the next generation of experts come from?

We’re at a moment where we haven’t fully reckoned with what it means to compress the distance between novice and functional so drastically. We’ve lost the apprenticeship economy without building anything to replace it.

Everything cycles

With these worries in my mind, I shared this video where I contemplate becoming a tradesman AND IT HIT.

It got 3.6M views with thousands of comments saying they’ve all contemplated this same idea.

And suddenly the problem became visible. It wasn’t just about job loss or economic anxiety. It was about millions of people looking at the career path they’d been promised and asking: Is this still worth it? Is there another way? (still exploring this).

Humans are resilient. Impossibly so. And I still believe we’ll find a way through this.

But I think survival means accepting that expertise needs to be redefined. The narrow version we’ve been taught, where expertise equals credentials and corporate advancement, is breaking down and we can’t rely on corporations to help us navigate this answer. We need to expand what we value. We need to recognize that expertise exists in other corners, in making things, in work that requires human judgment in ways AI simply can’t replicate.

Maybe the real answer isn’t competing with AI on AI’s terms. Maybe it’s stepping out of that game entirely and going back to what’s always worked: building, creating, doing real work with real consequences.

The cycle turns. And maybe what comes next is actually better than what came before.

Until next month

– person with job

And lately, the existential threat of World War III has forced a different kind of check-in.

This isn’t a fear-mongering post. But when headlines feel heavier than usual, it’s hard not to zoom out and ask bigger questions.

While doom-scrolling TikTok the other day, as one does when trying to mentally escape the current geopolitical chaos, I came across a clip of Hasan Minhaj interviewing journalist Annie Jacobsen about nuclear warfare protocols.

Here is the part that stuck with me.

If a nuclear weapon is deployed, you have roughly 72 minutes to get out of the blast zone.

Let me repeat. 72 minutes.

@hasanminhajDoomsday bunkers are for losers

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By the time you realize what is happening, the clock is already running.

72 minutes is barely a long work call that ran over. That is a delayed flight. That is a mediocre date. And it got me thinking.

If something catastrophic can happen that fast, what are we doing with the rest of our time now?

Leaving morbidity aside, it made me ask something simple, but uncomfortable. If I died tomorrow, am I proud of who I was? Am I satisfied with the life I have led so far? Did I try?

So far, the answer is yes, but not because I have achieved everything.

I have not fallen in love yet. I have not seen the Northern Lights. My nonprofit for latchkey immigrant kids does not exist yet. The countryside AirBnB in Korea or South Jersey is still just a vision. There are still things I want. Big ones.

But since COVID, I have tried to live in a way that does not defer my life indefinitely. I do not overextend beyond my means, but when I want to travel, try something, build something, or pivot something, I do.

Because who knows when the next chance will come.

72 minutes is nothing. We spend more than that hesitating (guilty!). Overthinking (guilty!). Staying in something that no longer fits. Waiting for the perfect timing that may never come. We assume we have unlimited runway.

This is not about living like the world is ending. It is about living like your time matters.

If the world did not end tomorrow, and hopefully it will not, we still only get about 75 to 80 years if we are lucky. That is not a lot when you zoom out.

So the real question is not “What are your Q2 goals?”

It is “Are you actually using your time in a way that you respect?”

If I had 72 minutes left, I would not regret trying things that failed. I would regret the things I postponed because they felt inconvenient or scary.

Anyway… that is your quarterly check-in.

And with that…. here are a few videos that made me laugh this week, because if we only get 72 minutes or 72 years, we might as well enjoy some of them.

— person with job

@benlapidusWE WILL GET ANSWERS… 3.4.26 #punk #metal #musicalcomedy

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@zhzubs#doglife #puppydance #swayingtothebeat#cutedog#pet

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2026 has officially begun and with the start of a new year, comes our annual attempt to reset ourselves for “success” fraught with reflection and resolution setting.

As I wound down 2025, settling into stillness across different parts of my life, work, wine classes, content (which I’ve admittedly been putting off), social plans, I found myself thinking less about goals and more about time. How it’s the most valuable asset we have, and yet somehow the one we think about the least.

When we’re young, time feels infinite. We don’t measure it or fear it because it just exists. Then adulthood arrives, mortality becomes real, our bodies change, and suddenly time speeds up. Years feel shorter. “Next year” starts to carry weight.

Society responds to this anxiety with a familiar script:

• Do more

• Improve faster

• Optimize your time

• Eliminate waste

• Measure progress

But I want to challenge that with something different:

• Do more, but choose deliberately

• Commit fully

• Try earnestly

• Risk being bad or failing

• Break the status quo

This year, for the first time, the idea of a “New Year” felt heavy instead of exciting. You start to realize that some doors quietly close. For women, the most obvious ones are motherhood and family planning. Time stops feeling theoretical and starts feeling… personal.

How this thought spiral started was when I was reflecting on 2025.

One of my biggest frustrations in 2025 was being let down by people (professionally and personally) who couldn’t commit to the attempt. But a fundamental mismatch in how we value time. Good intentions weren’t the issue, alignment was. I realized that intent means very little if the people around you don’t share the same philosophy about showing up, trying, and respecting the time you’re spending together.

What I kept running into was the same pattern: an unwillingness to try at all. A preference for staying comfortable, defensive, and unchanged rather than risking discomfort or growth.

And that’s where I think we lose the plot with goals and resolutions.

It’s not about some high-level revenue goal. It’s about how we’re spending our time while we’re here and with whom. This isn’t about squeezing more out of time or turning life into a productivity exercise. It’s about choosing the people who believe in the same philosophy of time and then showing up together with. conviction. Even if the thing fails. Even if it goes nowhere. Even if it never becomes impressive.

Attempt > Outcome

So this year, I decided to approach goals differently.

Instead of:

• Save $10K

• Find a boyfriend (lol what was I thinking?)

• Achieve Level 4 in wine studies

I’m focusing on:

• Buying back my time

• Being kinder to myself

• Surrounding myself with high-quality people with the same morals

• Believing in myself enough to stand on my own two feet

Clear goals still matter, of course. Eventually, I’ll translate these into tactical plans. But the real point is whether I’m willing to try, to choose something and commit to it fully, rather than hovering in half-decisions or not trying at all.

Because after all, everyone here on this earth (with the exception of Bryan Johnson and his bio-hacking cult), has 75-80 years on earth.

@oscarsA gentle reminder that the clock’s ticking — go live a little. Film: HOLY MAN (1998) Directed by Stephen Herek Written by Tom Schulman Starring Eddie Murphy, Jeff Goldblum, Kelly Preston, Robert Loggia, Jon Cryer and Morgan Fairchild #Movies #Film #HolyMan #EddieMurphy

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This reality really hits home when you visualize it on a chart (see mine below). Source: https://www.lifecalendar.io/

So for 2026, I’m asking myself three simple questions to keep me on track:

• What gives me energy?

• What drains me quietly?

• What am I postponing because it feels inconvenient or scary?

The goal of a new year is not to be more efficient, but to feel moments of life. And the only way to do that is to stop treating time like it’s something to manage.

If you’re going to spend your time, stand behind something.

– Happy New Year,

person with job

Koreans have a word for this: “nunchi.” There’s no English translation, but it roughly means the ability to read the room– to sense what’s appropriate, what’s needed, and when to stay quiet.

And lately, it feels like we’ve collectively lost it.

We see it when celebrities, influencers, and billionaires complain about “first-world problems” while most people are feeling it every time they check out at the grocery store. We saw it recently when influencer Jaclyn Hill publicly lamented her declining views that landed with a tone-deaf thud in a moment of widespread economic anxiety.

The backlash that soon ensued was the well needed correction. A reminder that time, place, and audience matter.

@daadisnackswe’re in an affordability crisis, Jaclyn #influencer #jaclynhill

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@withjlcReplying to @Girlontheinternet

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What’s made this worse is that many of us no longer share physical or social proximity. We don’t brush shoulders in the same spaces to glean emotional cues. We don’t calibrate ourselves against a shared sense of “we,” only “me.” Algorithms reinforce our biases, amplify our blind spots, and reward self-expression without context.

And this doesn’t just show up online… it also shows up at work.

I’ve felt it personally and professionally: last-minute asks after broken commitments, tone-deaf requests during moments of instability, and shifting expectations without acknowledgment of the broader reality people are operating in.

This is why I believe the reemergence of nunchi will be a critical skill for anyone who wants to thrive at work moving forward. It’s not about shrinking yourself or avoiding hard conversations. It’s about navigating work with awareness, not delusion.

Professional self-awareness will be one of the most valuable skills in a collapsing context culture.

The future of work isn’t just AI literacy or personal branding. It’s relearning how to read the room. Moving with awareness instead of entitlement. THAT will help you stand out as a leader, a coworker, and a friend.

Nunchi isn’t about being quiet. It’s about being attuned.

And in a world where everyone is speaking, that might be the most valuable skill a person with a job can have.

Until next month’s check in,

– person with job

Here. We. Go.

Over the years as a marketer working across retail and tech for some of the biggest brands in the world, I’ve made a lot of gift guides for Uniqlo, Amazon Fashion, and others, but I’ve never made one for myself.

So this year, I finally did.

The method was simple: I looked back at what I actually used, loved, and returned to again and again this past year. Things that were useful and delightful that balance between utilitarian and aspirational.

Because let’s be honest: in today’s economy, a good gift should make life easier and a little more beautiful.

BTW everything is linked below!

WINE

Rebel School of Wine Book

I didn’t think I needed another wine book (my shelves disagree), but The Rebel School of Wine by Tyler Balliet has been a standout this year. It strikes the perfect balance between high-level insight and approachable depth. It’s great for both beginners and nerds. It also looks great on your coffee table.

Elegant Wine Stoppers

After years of using those cheap cork stoppers I got for free from liquor stores, I upgraded to stainless steel reusable ones. Especially for sparkling wines, these are so worth it: practical, sleek, and make post-dinner cleanup just a little easier.

• Sparkling - $28

• Still Wine Stopper (2x) - $15

🏡 HOME

Felt+Fat Ceramics

My everyday staples. Their bowls and plates are minimal but elevated — perfect for dinner parties or takeout nights. Use code PERSONWITHJOB for 15% off your order.

• Entree bowl

• Soap Dish (Aloe is my favorite)

• Entree Dish (10”)

• Drip mug (or you can use this as a flower vase)

McAtlas Book

A beautiful, witty book featuring some of the most interesting McDonald’s locations around the world, written by my friend Gary He (yes, I’m biased, and yes, it’s still great). It’s part travel guide, part nostalgia trip, and an unexpected coffee table conversation starter.

Jo Malone or Diptyque Candle

I know… gifting candles is cliché. But there’s a reason. They instantly warm a space. Go for the less obvious scents — Fleur d’Orange or Orpheon are my new favorites (and Orpheon doubles as my current perfume).

Ben Lenovitz Pet Portaits

A bit of a splurge, but totally worth it. Ben paints custom portraits of your pets inside Fishs Eddy in Flatiron, NYC. It takes about 20–40 minutes, from drawing to drying, and makes for such a fun in-person gift experience.

✈️ WORK / TRAVEL

TYVY Bag

If you watched this season’s of Meet a Person With Job, you know that my friend Tina created a work bag brand called TYVY, inspired by the everyday experiences of the fashionable woman. I recently got one and I’ve been loving the practical-ness and the slim look of the bag.

Noshinku Hand Sanitzer + Wipes

My constant travel companion. Noshinku makes hand sanitizers and wipes that smell amazing and feel luxe (not sticky). I discovered them this year and haven’t looked back.

🧘‍♀️ SELF

Saje Essential Oils Kit + Lotions

I wasn’t always an essential oils person, but I’m fully converted now. A mix of bergamot, peppermint, and spruce instantly centers me… science or not. Saje is sustainable, organic, and clean, so I don’t feel bad about using it daily.

Kobo Libra E-Reader

A total game changer. I love reading but hate lugging books around. The Kobo Libra has traveled with me from Korea to the NYC subway. It’s the perfect size, easy to annotate, and doubles as my reading tool for wine studies.

@personwithjobAs much as I love holding and reading a physical book, I am tuning out of space in my apt! My recommended me the @Rakuten Kobo 📚 libre as an e reader and I’m liking what I’m seeing so far (not sponsored - bought with my own money). #kobolibracolour #ereader #studytools

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❤️ THANK YOU

Thank you for being here + for subscribing, reading, and supporting me through another year of Person With Job.

I hope your holidays are filled with warmth, good company, and just the right amount of delusion.

Here’s to closing out 2025 with gratitude (and a glass of wine). 🍾

— PWJ

It feels like we’ve reached the final boss of capitalism, where every pursuit must justify itself through profit. It’s not enough to just earn a living; now you’re expected to earn a lot. These days, a pursuit doesn’t even feel worth pursuing unless it’s monetized.

@gabriellecoffyGen Zs: We’re better off creating a name for ourselves by doing what we love, than applying to jobs that will never hire us. So go after that dream, follow your god-given spark, become the entrepreneur that you always wanted to be, because you’ll most likely find more success there than you ever would in our job economy. #JobsAreDead #StayDelulu #FollowYourDreams #GenZ #TheNewAmericanDream

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Scroll anywhere online and you’ll see it: haul culture, luxury unboxings, endless travel, and billionaires (ahem Becca Bloom) selling you back the dream of freedom through their content. It’s all noise convincing us that the only path to a “good life” is through more: more money, more possessions, more validation.

@mmmarie317i feel v strongly abt this #beccabloom #rich #fyp #outoftouch #wealth

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As a child from an immigrant household, I know too well that pursuing something for passion’s sake is seen as delusional. All through college and my twenties, there was absolutely no balance between the work that kept me intellectually or creatively satisfied and the work that actually paid. It was a constant struggle and I pivoted roles every two years because the high-earning ones never fulfilled me.

I used to hate when people said, “You can’t care too much about your work. Find your interests outside of it.” It always sounded so miserable. The idea that you should split your consciousness, to clock in as a drone during the day just so you can “come alive” after hours was never an option for me.

It wasn’t until I started my TikTok account in 2020 that I really began to have fun again and be creative on my own terms. Not for a boss, not for a company, not for a brand or client. Person With Job (PWJ) became my sandbox: a space where I could try anything.

It also helped that PWJ was an alias. Semi-anonymity gave me permission to experiment, to film in public, to share thoughts freely, to create series like Meet a Person With Job and Out of Office. Trying for the sake of trying became the point.

@personwithjobCapitalism has conditioned us to equate outcome with our time, energy, and resources. Not everything has apparent outcomes. Sometimes you earn joy by going through the process. #joy #learning #interview #personwithjob #creativity

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Now, I’m going to put a pin in that and do a hard pivot. ✋

AI: the obsession of the moment.

Recent reports say we’re facing “a looming shortage of high-quality, readily available internet data,” the very stuff that trains AI models. But here’s the irony: those “high-quality” inputs come from us, human creativity, curiosity, and originality. The same things that can’t be faked, automated, or optimized.

If the “Magnificent 7,” the companies fueling the current market bubble, are banking on AI to power their growth, then AI, in turn, depends on us to keep it alive. It feeds on our creativity. Our art. Our writing. Our delusions.

NOW, back to the original point.

We live in a time where the cost of living is up, debt is up, optimism is down and in response, culture has turned cynicism, overconsumption, and outrage into coping mechanisms. The idea of chasing your dream is mocked as unrealistic, childish, or cringe. “Delulu.”

But maybe delusion is exactly what we need right now.

Because if machines can only advance when humans are inspired enough to create, then being delusional, pursuing the thing that lights you up for no reason other than you want to, isn’t naïve. It’s necessary.

Maybe this moment is quietly giving power back to the creative class — to people who think independently, who make things from scratch without the expectation of monetization, who imagine worlds beyond the algorithm.

So yes, maybe I am delusional for wanting to one day live on a vineyard pouring wine for tourists and making accessible educational wine content for the public. But if delusion is what keeps us dreaming, imagining, and building; then maybe it’s the most human thing left to hold onto.

And in our current climate, perhaps it’s the most valuable, because when everything else can be replicated, the only true gold left is our ability to dream.

🪩 Closing Thought

So go be delulu. Start the project. Move cities. Vote for the person who gives you hope. Launch the thing.

The world might call it unrealistic, but that’s exactly what keeps it interesting.

– person with job

Some Person With Job News…

1️⃣ Korea Guides Are Out Now!

Head to my Substack to see the guides - comment with any questions. For those who are my paid subscribers, feel free to message me!

• Seoul

• Jeju

• Yeosu

2️⃣ Thank you as always to my Substack subscribers!

We now have 2!!

3️⃣ IRL Person With Wine Events coming soon - Email or comment on this post if you’re interested in attending!

As always, please give me a follow on my other channels: IG, TT, YT

Overview

This travel guide is the shortest as we did not spend that much time there and we were faced with inclement weather, which limited us to do any outdoor activities. Here are the other travel guides if you haven’t explore them yet:

• Seoul

• Jeju

• Yeosu (this one!)

Here is Yeosu!

After Jeju - we took a quick 1 hour flight back to the mainland to Yeosu, which is located on the Southern coast of South Korea. Yeosu is known for its beautiful coastal scenery, which includes numerous islands and clean, green coastlines. It’s also famous for its fresh seafood and the historic Hyangiram Hermitage (buddhist temple).

STAY 🏨

We stayed at an Airbnb - it was lovely and close by to the train station where we had to take the KTX back up to Seoul after a quick 2 nights 3 days trip.

FOOD 🥘

Yeosu is known for its pocha and seafood (mackerel and marinated crab), but we were 1) too exhausted to stay out late and 2) we don’t love marinated crab! So we skipped for fried chicken and beer (chi-mek).

Out by Hyangiram Hermitage, we had lunch at Seoul Restaurant and ordered their seafood dwenjangjigae - absolutely delicious.

VISIT 🚃

Me and my mom originally wanted to try a temple stay - where you stay at a temple and live the monk lifestyle, but there were none available for our timeline.

So we decided to go visit one. For

only $3 - you can take a 1.5 hr bus ride to a buddhist temple on the other end of the city. We had so much fun just sightseeing from the bus and seeing how life is down in Yeosu that the ride itself was an experience.

Once you get to the Hyangiram Hermitage temple stop (last stop on the bus - Impo), there are great restaurants and vendors on the way up to the temple (extremely steep hills!). We bought some kimchi, wooden crafts, makkgeoli, and more.

– person with job

Overview

This is the PWJ approved guide to Jeju. I haven’t been to Jeju since I was 5 years old and according to my mom, so much has changed (from trails being laid on popular mountains to the architecture of the local houses).

The travel guides will be broken down as follows (each will have it’s own post on Substack):

• Seoul

• Jeju (this one!)

• Yeosu

Let’s get started with Jeju!

TRANSPORTATION 🚗

Jeju is much bigger than you think and the public transporation is not as fast. Though you can use your T-Money Card in Jeju and throughout the rest of the country, it’s not worth your time waiting for the bus.

I recommend that you rent a small compact car because you get discounts for driving smaller and also better parking spots designated for smaller cars. It’s much easier to handle while you’re traveling and visiting many places.

I booked my rental car through Klook - but once I got there, I realized that there a TON of rental car companies there that you can choose from. Klook was very foreigner/english friendly though.

STAY 🏨

• Try to stay 3-5 days in Jeju because there is so much to do! We didn’t do this but our Airbnb host recommended this for next time. She said that you should split up your stay to the different sides of the island - a few nights in the East, South and North, West. To drive from the Airport to one side of the island takes a little over an hour (there are strict speed limits enforced, so you can’t go that fast). We stayed on the West side of the island as it was close to more activities like Udo Island, Seongsan Ilchulbong (UNESCO heritage site), and many seafood restaurants.

• I would recommend you stay at an Airbnb. You have much more flexibility and more fun. We booked a home where the host also stayed in the nearby house with us and she was so informative!

• This was our Airbnb if you’d like to book it too. It was in a traditional Jeju home style. We walked through the host’s garden each morning and her dog always greeted us happily!

  

  

FOOD 🥘

Jeju is known for fresh seafood. Notably fished by the haenyeo, who are female free divers, who go out every morning to fish for abalone, clams, octopus and more. We went to a few restaurants where their seafood was sourced by haenyeos.

• 제주순메밀막국수: 60 Nokchabunjae-ro, Andeok-myeon, Seogwipo-si, Jeju-do, South Korea

• Mackerel + Octopus Dishes at Sogeumbachi Sooninae

• Abalone or Clam or any seafood porridge! Or Abalone anything. Available at many restaurants in Jeju - but we went to 한라전복 and 해월정

  

• Black Jeju Pig: I need to mention this because it is a known delicacy of the island, but I’m not a big fan of Pork if I don’t have to eat it. But I heard it’s delicious!

  • Quick backstory of the Black Pigs of Jeju….

    • They were often kept as house livestock because the pigs used to be kept by the outdoor bathrooms in Jeju. They were kept to eat the human feces and create a home ecosystem. Then at a certain point, the pigs would be slaughtered to eat.

• Makkgeoli: There are tangerine and udo peanut makkgeoli here. Tangerine had a vivaciousness to the bubbles and felt refreshing and light. Whereas the Udo Peanut Makkgeoli was a bit heavy bc it had ground peanuts infused in the drink and less bubbly.

• Tangerines: There is a street in Jeju where there are vendors who sell tangerines. Most are “house” tangerines - which I learned does not mean that they grew them at the house, but in a Greenhouse.

  

  

• Udo Peanuts: Udo is the neighboring island that is well known for its volcanic soil grown peanuts. Known for its deep roasted flavors, it’s everywhere in Jeju! Peanut icecream, makkgeoli, peanut snacks and more.

VISIT 🚃

• Udo Island: UDO! Don’t miss it - without an international license with the motorcycle stamp, you cannot drive an automated motorcycle. Me and my mom were denied (though we had an international license from AAA) - so we rented an electric bicycle to tour around the island. You take a quick ferry ride over to the small island. The bike trip around the whole island takes about 3-4 hours depending on how many stops you make.

• Seongsan Ilchulbong: hiking a small active volcano. There is delicious snack at the bottom after you come back down from the hike. The Tangerine Ice Cream was so delicious (photoed above)..

• Hallasan: hiking at the highest mountain on the island. Please note that there is NO potable water source inside and no food. You must bring it yourself (we did NOT know this and we were dying of thirst). If you’re driving there - you need to park at a highschool 10 minutes away via bus or taxi. Upon parking, call an Uber to drop you off at the hike starting point.

• Oleum / 오름 : This literally means “elevated”. Because Jeju is a volcanic island, there are many of these elevated hills that locals use as a backyard hike. Some are easy breezy, some are difficult. Research which ones are nearby your stay and hike some of them! They are all over the island. I went the ones by my Airbnb.

• Jeju Folk Village 제주민속촌: Take a walk through what a traditional Jeju village looked like hundreds of years ago. We spoke to some of the vendors and they were discouraged by the lack of visitors who come by recently - and I think it’s a shame that not more people know about this experience! There are tons of things to do like shop traditional Jeju clothing, experience ceramics, ale making, archery. We especiallly had fun learning traditional archery.

  

• Jeju Beer Brewery: We found Jeju Beers at the local convenience store and we were curious to go drink and learn more! The brewery was super nice and had a nice tasting room too!

PLACES NOT WORTH GOING ⚠️

• Osulloc Museum: this is not a museum - it’s just a big tea shop. I wish they did more storytelling around Jeju and green tea, but there wasn’t much to learn or experience there.

• 일출랜드: this was like an natural amusement park and it was close to the folk village that we decided to stop by, but there wasn’t anything much interesting to really explore. There was a volcanic cave that was interesting, but other than that, not worth going out of the way for.

– person with job

Overview

This is your PWJ approved guide to Korea. This is a highly curated list that is highly dependent on what the theme and interests are for me whilst visiting the motherland. This year, my Korea trip was to go get beauty treatments at clinics, go try local foods (avoiding any buzzy with lines + Michelin starred restaurants) true 맛집s, and traveling locally within Korea (i.e. Jeju and Yeosu).

⚠️ Before you read further, I must warn you that unfortunately there is nothing on this list that is super touristy ⚠️

The travel guides will be broken down as follows (each will have it’s own post on Substack):

• Seoul (this one!)

• Jeju

• Yeosu

Let’s get started with Seoul!

STAY 🏨

For Seoul - I prefer to stay at a hotel because it’s one of my longest stays in the country as well as the breakfast buffet options in Korea are unparalleled in the world. That’s honestly how I pick where I stay depending on the breakfast buffet options. There is nothing better than waking up and having a warm meal in Korea.

This year, I returned to Grand Hyatt Seoul (Namsan) and tried the Conrad Seoul (Hanam).

• Grand Hyatt Seoul: Namsam

  • Pros: Super close to Itaewon, there are amazing cool/hipster bars and street food spots near there. The hotel itself has by far the best breakfast buffet in my opinion (9/10) and I’ve been to Walkerhill (the worst), Garden Inn Hilton Gangnam (it is what it is), Courtyard Marriott Botanical Garden (mid). Great service - they held our bags there until we returned bc we could not catch a cab in time to go to our second hotel. Consistent experience across a few visits!

  • Cons: inconvenient public transit - there are only 2 bus lines that run through there. But very close to Itaewon - but you have to walk up hills. Rooms are small and older.

• Conrad Seoul: Yeongdeungpo

  • Pros: The vibe is ✨ new ✨, the hotel and the development of that area. It is literally built on top of a mall (IFC Mall) and across the street from The Hyundai, which is a massive mall with everything you can think of. The 9 Subway runs right underneath and connects to all major stop and areas on the south side of the Han River. Rooms are big! Breakfast buffet is a 6/10 - the Grand Hyatt is WAY better.

  • Cons: it’s not so close to all of the touristy areas so it is a bit of a trek. You are on the far East edge of the city so there will be a commute. Service at this hotel was not that great? We arrived at the hotel and the staff saw us with our 4 suitcases and no one offered to help. It was odd for a 5-star hotel.

FOOD 🥘

Yongsan is one of those hipster places that popped up. The weather was not that great when I visited - but there are outdoor/indoor concept pubs/bars/restaurants that you can pop in and out.

• 차경: South Korea, Seoul, Yongsan District, Sowol-ro 20-gil, 46 2층 - they had an extensive wine collection and an open chef’s kitchen. The view is also amazing - everyone there was a couple bc it’s a romantic spot, but I think it’s worth visiting even without a date!

• Haebangchon Sinheung Market: 95-9 Sinheung-ro, Yongsan District, Seoul, South Korea - this is the street where there were fun street level bars to visit.

  

• Nanpo: 18 Itaewon-ro 49-gil, Yongsan District, Seoul, South Korea - I didn’t get to eat here, but the menu looked great. Will try to go next year.

• Nari’s house: 245 Itaewon-ro, Yongsan District, Seoul, South Korea - didn’t get to go here, but every time I passed by there was a long line of older korean men and women, which means it’s good

• Ateuman: 11 Sajik-ro 12-gil, Jongno District, Seoul, South Korea - I went here with my girlfriends last year and it was situated in an traditional styled Korean house with delicious wines and food.

• 봉평막국수: 49 Jahamun-ro 1-gil, Jongno District, Seoul, South Korea - Get the Flax Seed Oil Noodles, the Potato Pancake/Jun

• Hwangdo Bajirak Kalguksu: 358 Baekjegobun-ro, Songpa District, Seoul, South Korea - Bajirak is the name of the clams that they put into the handpulled noodles. This place is a bang for your buck and it’s delicious. There is free Makkgeoli too. The bowls there are out of control big. This is what you call a 맛집 (a local delicious restaurant).

VISIT 🚃

• Jongno - outside of the royal palaces where you dress up in Hanbok to walk around, there are fun hidden streets, pottery vendors, and old style houses that have transformed into coffee houses or shops to explore. I would recommend visiting!

• Songpa - Cute little area with psychics, tons of food options, and cafes.

PLAY 🛝

• Nails Nuha in Jongno - been following her on IG for years and I finally got to get my nails done by her!

  

• Bar Cham: World’s Top 50 recognized bar. Every drink here was delicious, well balanced, and the b

  ar is in

  an old school house which is a vibe!

• Psychics: I always go to a psychic and get birth chart readings. I usually go to hongdae, but this year I went to Songpa area. There are a ton on the streets.

• Go to a Korean baseball game! This is a must do - baseball tickets for decent seats are not that expensive (we paid $20 for great seats in the fan section). It’s a pain to buy bc you need to know a Korean to buy it for you. But it is so much fun and the chanting/dancing is unparalleled to American baseball.

BEAUTY 🧖‍♀️

A lot of my time was spent going to beauty clinics to try various treatments because Korean skincare and beauty procedures are so advanced than other countries. A few of these locations I was comped for the experiences, but I reached out to them first because I did my research to find the right places that had high quality. Some I was outreached to and would not return.

Botox in Korea is extremely affordable because they don’t charge by the unit - they charge by the area. Also they have their own brand of botox called Cortox (korea-tox) that is just as effective as Xeomin or Botox that are imported.

• Individuel Geneve (discounted) - I spent about $400 for me and my mom’s treatments. This was your typically facial that rehydrates your skins with a light peel. I wanted to get something dont the first days of landing in Seoul, because your skin is a mess from traveling. I would 100% go back even without the discount. They also give you a beauty recommendation list you can take with you to Olive Young.

• Dr. Designer Clinic (comped) - English friendly. Spent $500 for a noninvasive and no downtime treatments. I got Botox (forehead, elevens, neck), Lalapeel with Keomer to boost my skin barrier.

• VEI Clinic - English friendly. Spent $3500 for Stem Cell Infusion and detox drip. I wanted to try this to boost my immunity and prep for the long flight ahead back to America. I did get fat dissolving shots on my arms (comped) but there was no effect.

• Laurel Clinic (comped) - They reached out to me to get their stem cell facial and for some reason I did not think that it was be super invasive, painful, and noticeable. Oh boy was I wrong. The clinic was ok, were they the warmest staff? Not really. I started to uncontrollably cry on the table when they were doing the injections and I could not stop. I think my body went into shock bc the pain was so undurable and my body entered fight or flight. Don’t think I would return again.

SHOP 🛍️

Last year, I did the whole Seongsu thing (the trendy shopping and cafe destination for younger people). It was OK - so this year we only shopped at hole in the wall places (like the subway vendors), Sinsa, Itaewon, or the mall.

• Yoon Hannam: South Korea, Seoul, Yongsan District, Itaewon-ro, 234 1 층

  • Eye Glasses Shop

• The Hyundai: I loved the basement floor which were all pop up stores! The rest of the mall is what you expect with your known boutiques and brands. But the pop up floor was so unique!

• Olive Young: need I say more - go to any of them. But preferrably the bigger ones bc they have more products in stock and variety.

Let me know if you have any questions in the comments. For my paid subscribers, feel free to message me!

– person with job

Leave a comment

Can’t believe Fall is already here — and that there are only 83 days left in 2025.

In August’s Edition of The Mailroom, I wrote about “Designing the Life You Want to Live,” and quoted Fran Lebowitz, who once said:

“I never understood the concept of a vacation? The concept that you have to escape your life to enjoy it, never made sense to me.”

I used to agree. I thought vacations were for people who didn’t like their own lives. But I was wrong and I’m happy to say so.

Growing up, we couldn’t really afford vacations. My parents made a combined $30K a year, and while they tried to give us small travel experiences — Disney World, Virginia Beach — we weren’t the family that came back from spring break in Bermuda with tans and braids. (Still haven’t been to Bermuda or the Bahamas, by the way.)

So when I started earning more, paying off debt, and building stability, being able to travel felt like fulfilling a childhood dream. I even started bringing my family along — my mom’s my favorite travel buddy, as anyone who follows me knows.

But this year, that old belief that vacations were unnecessary, crept back in. I got laid off in March after finally going full-time in January. I went back to consulting, hustling, saving, tightening every expense. The idea of taking a break felt irresponsible. I told myself: “Rest later, when things are stable.”

For so many of us, rest feels like failure. We’ve been conditioned to see our worth through productivity; to measure days by output, not peace. Even when we earn the privilege to rest, we feel guilty for using it. That’s the trap: capitalism convinces you to work until you forget what rest even looks like.

And then I accidentally ended up on vacation. I missed my original flight to Korea, rebooked on a whim, and went anyway — partly for business, but mostly to see family. What was supposed to be work turned into something else entirely: rest. I spent time with my mom, explored Seoul, and got a few too many skincare treatments (research, obviously).

@personwithjobLive laugh love. #freewill #seoul #korea #travel

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One morning in Seoul, I sat in the bus with my mom watching people rush to work. I realized how long it had been since I’d eaten breakfast without multitasking, without checking emails, without my brain running a thousand tabs. For the first time all year, I was just… fully there.

Somewhere between a bowl of sundubu and an LED facial, it hit me:
vacations aren’t about escaping the life you’ve built: they’re about stepping outside it long enough to see it clearly.

I realized I’d mistaken control for stability. I thought if I worked hard enough, I could predict what came next. But sometimes, peace isn’t found in planning — it’s found in letting go long enough to breathe.

They’re a reset. A pause that lets you come back with new perspective, gratitude, and energy.

Maybe “designing the life you want to live” isn’t about eliminating the need for rest — it’s about building a life that makes space for it.

If you can take one, do it. And do it without guilt. I had guilt until the moment I landed — worrying about lost income, about wasting time. But rest isn’t a waste. It’s maintenance.

So no, Fran. I don’t think vacations are for people who hate their lives. They’re for people who love their lives enough to protect their energy to keep living them well.

As we head into the final stretch of the year, I’m thinking a lot about rest, resistance, and what it means to finish strong without burning out. More on that next month.

When was the last time you paused long enough to feel the difference between rest and escape?

— person with job

Some Person With Job News…

1️⃣ I received my first paid Substack Subscriber!

A big shoutout to Crystal for showing your support and believing in the mission of Person With Job. It means a lot that you value the stories and perspectives that I am sharing.

2️⃣ Season 2 of Meet a Person With Job has dropped (+ Spotify)!

Meet our Season 2 guests: Isabella Vergara (MetOpera + Calpulli Dance), Tina Yau (TYVY), and Ahran Cho (Master Chef).

Reminder: The series highlights people who remind us that our value is more than what we earn — those pursuing passions, building communities, and creating impact beyond immediate incentives. Featuring cool people doing cool things from my own circle, enjoy the episode.

@personwithjobSeason 2 of Meet a #PersonWithJob is back with dancer and artist @Isabella Vergara, who dances with @Calpulli Mexican Dance, #metopera, #dzuldance and more. 03:05 - Isabella’s Mexican heritage 04:30 - being in the in between 7:38 - difficulties in dance 11:25 - unpopular opinion 14:45- dance practice ! #dancer #careers

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@personwithjobEP2 of #MeetaPersonWithJob: we introduce Tina Yau of @TYVY New York - a workbag brand made for stylish and realistic women. At the age of 50 - she decided to put her 20+ yr retail career aside and start her own bag brand on her own terms. Get to know Tina and also check out TYVY - now live ! 1:15 - meet Tina 2:08- The AHA moment 3:42 - age gap friendships 7:37- Jobs don’t have to be linear 8:40- meet TYVY 11:13 - Inspired by outerwear #personwithjob #workbag #nyc #womenstyle

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Guess what? These episodes are also now on Spotify! Watch and listen to the full episodes and former seasons here:

3️⃣ Korea Guides Coming Your Way

I’ll be making food, travel/stay, beauty guides for Korea. Keep an eye out and feel free to save, share, or send for your next trip!

Follow Me On Other channels: IG, TT, YT

By 30, I thought I’d be more of an “adult.” I pictured myself in a “real” job, with a “real” partner, living in a “real” house. Instead, I was renting a faux one-bedroom in the Lower East Side where everything was broken.

Pre-COVID, that didn’t matter. Your NYC apartment was just a storage unit you slept in between nights out. But during the pandemic, it became my whole world — and I couldn’t escape my own disappointment.

I grieved three things at once: the loss of my youth (the “best years” I spent locked indoors), my supposed lack of achievements, and the realization that my shiny New York life was really just repetition. I thought I’d be the youngest CEO by now, collecting awards for groundbreaking work. Instead, I was selling fuzzy slippers to other Americans trapped at home, just like me.

The Weight of Expectations

Part of my breakdown wasn’t just personal — it was cultural.

Society tells young people, especially women, that your twenties have to mean something. Be on Forbes 30 Under 30. Build your company. Win awards. Be valuable at all costs. Capitalism sells you the dream but makes sure you’ll never feel like it’s enough.

As millennials, we were sold the “Girl Boss” myth — ambition first, but somehow with the emotional capacity to support your partner, kids, and everyone else while looking flawless. Thankfully, “Girl Boss” has aged into cringe (cheugy, as the kids say), but the pressure lingers.

Fast-Forward: Age 33

Here’s what I’ve learned: your thirties are not the end. They’re the beginning.

At 33, I feel younger and freer than I did at 29. I regret wasting so much energy mourning my twenties when, in reality, the best years were still ahead.

@personwithjob @personwithjob ♬ original sound - MuchMusic

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So if you’re dreading 30, let me reassure you:

• Your 20s set up your 30s. The work, the experiments, even the mistakes — they all compound into the foundation you’ll finally start to enjoy.

• Money matters. Position yourself to earn, save, and plan for bigger purchases. Even small financial wins add up.

• Your body changes. At 31, my baby fat finally disappeared from my face. (Do NOT get buccal fat removal — your body will do it for you!) You’ll also learn the joy of moving, stretching, and actually listening to your body.

• You love your body and what you look like MORE. You’ll love your body more. In my 20s, I obsessed over my love handles, the size of my eyes, even the length of my hair. Now? For the most part, I actually like what I see. More importantly, I love how my body shows up for me every single day and carries me through life.

• Hormones calm down. Between 29–30, women are at peak fertility, which can make those years emotionally intense. Things start to normalize, and you gain more clarity.

• You’ll give fewer f*cks. About society’s pressures. About what men think. By this age, you know better — and you can live a man-decentered life.

• Alone time becomes gold. Nights in no longer feel like punishment. They feel like peace. Space for reflection. Fuel for a richer life.I was grieving the loss of my youth (my seeming best years lost indoors due to COVID and my focus on my career), my “lack” of achievements and what I deemed “success,” and my blasé repetitive life that I thought was so novel until the pandemic made me reflect on my status of my life. I thought I would be the youngest CEO and win all of these awards for my incredible work, instead, I was selling fuzzy slippers to Americans trapped in their home just like i was at the everything store.

If you’re in your late twenties, crying in therapy, panicking about not being “enough” — take it from me: it’s not the end.

30 is not a cliff. It’s a door. And on the other side, the air feels lighter.

@personwithjobAnd that’s the start of 33. #bday

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@personwithjobMy eyeliner theory. #aging #thirties #monolids #eyemakeup #selfconfidence

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The best years aren’t behind you. They’re waiting for you.

Signing off,
person with job

I can’t remember exactly when I first heard the phrase “design the life you want to live,” but it’s been lodged in my head for years, popping up in quiet moments, almost like an ear-worm.

The first time something similar clicked for me was in 2021, watching Fran Lebowitz’s Netflix show Pretend That It’s A City, a show where she weighs in on New York City’s quirks, perks, and irks. She said:

At the time, I was 29, deep in my own quarter-life crisis, working 10-hour days at one of the busiest and one of the only open, companies in the world. I was selling furry slippers and matching sweatsuits to Americans stuck at home, while I was stuck at home myself.

My “social life” was gone. Without the distractions of New York aka the parties, the casual after-work drinks, the noise, all vanished. Without those distractions, I was left with just me.

And what I saw wasn’t great:

• Tiny LES apartment (everything broken)

• Stuck in middle management

• Single and relationship-poor

• Every day feeling like Groundhog Day

I realized I was in the exact same place, physically and emotionally, as when I’d first moved to NYC at 19 for NYU. And it hit me: if nothing changes, nothing would change.

Realizing I Was in the Driver’s Seat

Therapy helped me see that I wasn’t a passenger and that I was behind the wheel. I was the captain now 🛳️.

Your twenties can feel like life is just happening to you. You’re reacting to circumstances instead of steering them. But the forced pause of the pandemic made me stare straight at the emptiness and discontent in my life. If I wanted it to be different, I had to design it differently.

Or as Timothée Chalamet once put it:

How I Started Designing a Life I Actually Want

This is still a work in progress, but here’s where I began:

Step 1 – Stop Complaining

I tried to quit complaining about things I could actually control but hadn’t acted on. Complaining made me feel like life was “happening” to me, when really, my passivity was part of the problem.

Step 2 – Pick Changeable Areas

I mapped out what I could realistically improve in the next 3–6–9 months:

• Improve my physical health

• Develop financial stability

• Build deeper friendships and relationships

• Feel inspired and creative again

• Do work I actually enjoy

Step 3 – Make it Actionable

Next, I built actionable steps and made investments into solving these problem areas:

Improve my physical health ➡️ I signed up for boxing and pilates and committed to going three times a week. At that point, I wasn’t moving my body at all. I’d lost all muscle mass, dropping to my lightest weight since high school. I also invested in water filters for my sink and shower because my skin had been awful the past year. (It’s amazing how much small quality-of-life upgrades can matter.)

Financial Stability ➡️ I focused on landing enough consulting clients to rebuild my rainy-day fund after draining it for my apartment down payment. I also carved out a budget line for investing in myself, not just saving to save, but saving to spend intentionally and allowing myself to feel OK about that.

Relationships (friends and romantic) ➡️ The most interesting part of my 29th year of my life was the collision of life events and COVID naturally weeding out superficial relationships, but also life’s forks in the roads as many of my friends getting married, moving to the suburbs, and having babies. It was evermore clear to me of the life choices that we start to make that lead us down different paths that was a little heartbreaking for me as I realized the loss of friendships that naturally come with getting older. This meant that I needed to make new friends who chose the same life path as me: single, career motivated, not yet interested in having babies or getting married, and explore life. This meant going outside (i know) and I signed up for apps like 222Place and more.

Creativity ➡️ if you’ve found me here from my TikTok, you’ve follow my journey out of my last job that was extremely toxic. I don’t say the “T” word lightly because nowadays, I think it is highly overused and over-dramatized. I cannot get into the specifics, but I had to leave this toxic job that wrecked my health — daily hives for six months, hair loss, hormonal acne that suddenly disappeared when I quit this job (?!?), and a creative spirit crushed to pulp. When I quit, all of that started to heal. I started to take wine classes (now turned @personwithwine), created my series “Meet A person with job” and more.

That’s when I focused my energy on the personwithjob TikTok, creating content for me that I enjoyed and felt good about creating to reintroduce myself to being creative.

Work I Enjoy—> The thing about getting older is that you start to realize that you have more and more free will. But in exchange to exerting your free will, it comes at the expense of effort and perseverence. After freelancing post–toxic job, I took a short in-house role… and was laid off after four months. That was the push I needed to commit to running my consultancy full-time. After working in corporate America as a full-time employee for 10+ years, I’ve realized that I am not cut out for a standard 9-5+ job where my life is inflexible and predictable. Now I choose my hours, my clients, and what “enough” looks like. I’ve started to grow my roots, got myself a business partner, and now we’re in build mode.

@personwithjob2025 you’re looking up

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@personwithjobFirst thing’s first. ✅ Improve quality of water for my skin and hair. All purchased on my own not sponsored. Link to products in my bio if interested. #waterfilter #hairgrowth #investinginyourself

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Step 4 – Rinse and Repeat

And now…. rinse and repeat. With every chapter that closes, it allows for a chance to redraw the blueprint.

If you’ve been feeling stuck, maybe this is your sign: you don’t have to escape your life to enjoy it. You can build one you don’t want to escape from.

signing off,

person with job

After 12 years in my career, working with some of the biggest companies in the world, I've learned that the most overlooked networking strategy is also the most powerful: networking sideways.

What I Mean by Networking Sideways

Most people focus on networking "up" - reaching out to executives, leaders, and people in positions of power. But networking sideways means building genuine connections with your peers: individuals at similar levels in their careers or organizations.

Here's why this matters more than you think.

How Networking Sideways Changed My Career

When I was in college, I scheduled 2-3 coffee meetings per week with people in the industry - those I wanted to emulate or who worked at companies I admired. That's how I landed my first job at Nike.

At 23, I started as a Brand Marketing Specialist - not an entry-level role. My colleagues with the same title were in their late 20s and 30s. Being the youngest person in the room taught me something crucial: my peers today could be tomorrow's decision-makers.

I invested in those relationships. Over time, those same colleagues became CMOs at major brands like Gatorade, started their own companies, and opened doors I never could have imagined. The friends and connections I made at my level eventually became my greatest professional assets.

The Reality Check

Two months ago, I got laid off. It was a stark reminder of how quickly circumstances can change, but it also revealed something important about how people approach networking.

I immediately reached out to friends who were podcast producers, photographers, and videographers. I pitched collaboration ideas that could benefit both of us and integrate my PWJ community. These were people at similar career stages - some also unemployed or with limited work lined up.

The response? Polite deflection. No direct "no," but no "yes" either.

This experience crystallized why networking sideways is so powerful and why so many people miss the opportunity.

The Lesson: See Potential, Not Just Position

When you're unemployed or struggling professionally, it's easy to focus only on people who can immediately help you. But here's what I learned: the person sitting next to you in the coffee shop, your former colleague who's also job hunting, the freelancer taking on small projects - they're all planting seeds for their future success.

The people who said no to collaborating with me? They're thinking about their current limitations, not their future potential. They're missing the chance to build something together when we both have the time and motivation to create.

@personwithjobWhat I would do if I were looking for a job but not quite landing the interviews yet. #jobtok #worktok

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Your Next Steps

If you're job searching, freelancing, or feeling stuck in your career, try this:

Look around you. Who are your peers? Your former colleagues? The people in your industry who are at similar stages?

Invest in those relationships. Not because of what they can do for you now, but because of what you might build together over the next decade.

Think long-term. The person struggling alongside you today might be the one offering you your dream job in five years.

Be generous. Share opportunities, make introductions, collaborate on projects. Plant seeds even when you can't see the harvest.

Networking sideways takes patience and vision, but I promise it will be worth it. Your peers today are your professional network of tomorrow.

— person with job

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The Next 30 Day Outlook

1. Unfortunately, we are dating again. We shall see how this goes.

   

   @personwithjob @personwithjob ♬ original sound - person with job

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2. I am turning 33 this summer - JESUS YEAR - lord help us.

   

   @personwithjobShoutout to @Shopbop for my bday outfit ! My one exception to making an outfit purchase in this economy.

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3. We’re building the business back up y’all. Stay tuned on more job progresses.

   

   @personwithjobUPDATE: how my job progress is going. I’ll break down in a series on how I’ve been spending my time post getting suddenly cut from a client. #worktok #jobsearch #selfemployed #corptok @person with job

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I’ve said it once (and on TikTok) and I will say it again, the perception of unemployment seems to be at odds with both hard and soft economic data. All I saw in my feed (prior to be laid off) were video announcements of people losing their jobs. It may be that the algorithm is utilizing the outrage to retain attention, as Jon Stewart mentioned in his podcast where he spoke about the economic hard or soft data conflict, due in part to social media preference for outrage:

“Public opinion polls, I think for that to be driving, it's like when you think of economic data, soft data, and hard data. People think that a recession is coming, and the hard data says, well, there's still 150,000 jobs coming every month. You know, we lose ourselves in soft data, I think, too often, because we are in a social media environment.”

Though the job numbers may be at odds with the content circulating, I was one of the 7.2M people (as of April 2025) who lost their job in the last few weeks and have been dealing with the aftermath.

If you’ve experienced being laid off or let go, you know that it sucks. It just does. As you get older, you realize this is just a fact of life and the sooner you experience it, the better and faster you start to recover from this bump in the road. But let me be clear - it still sucks every time.

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With every fiber in my body–as a Capricorn moon and Virgo rising–I’ve put together a 30 day action plan for what to if you leave a job.

Pre-Day 0

As soon as you know that you are getting the boot (probably during your exit conversation *This is VERY important*!!), ask these following questions:

• When is my last day for benefits?

  • This impacts how quickly you need to utilize your HSA/FSA accounts (which I did not get to - see video below) as well as go to any last-minute necessary appointments.

• Is termination effective immediately or at a future date?

  • This affects whether you will have time to take any relevant documents with you for your resume and portfolio before losing access.

• Will I be receiving any severance ? Paying out my unused PTO?

  • Get every last cent you are owed.

You should not offer any additional information in your exit interview. Employers can use what you say against you—and let’s be honest, they don’t care.

Before you sign the termination/severance paperwork, remember the company does not owe you anything (esp in at-will employment states). Don’t implicate yourself and just try to get the basic questions answered and await the paperwork.

Day 1-5

I encourage everyone to do this while everything’s fresh:

Gather all of your off-boarding paperwork

• Save it on a folder or drive to easily access them. Make sure you have your company’s FEID number so you can apply for unemployment.

File for unemployment

• Sooner the better as the process sometimes takes a long time due to technical issues (IDK why the website never works) or you need to provide additional details about your previous employment.

Start organizing your work docs and update your portfolio and resume.

Day 5-8

Take a breather. You’ve done the hard part. You deserve a break.

Day 9-18

Set the right pace

• Everyone’s timeline is different, depending on their finances, their mental state, and opportunity. Figure out how much time you can afford to take off (if any) before you jump right into the next role. I had a 3 month emergency fund saved up that helped ease the anxiety around not having income.

Updating LinkedIn - There are 2 pathways to go…

• Announce that you have been laid off - there is nothing shameful about a decision that was not your own when a company decided to downsize. This sometimes helps to jumpstart the momentum and have other reaching out to help.

• Keep everything the same to continue poking around for opportunities and connections. Explain on a call or in-person if you meet someone about your current employment situation. (this is what I did this time around).

Updating resume

• Start recounting your successes and achievements. Start to workshop your resume and get it ready to share. Make sure that it follows the best practices of quantifying your impact and results.

Day 19-30

Decompress and detox

• This is arguably the most important out of first 30 days. You can’t help others if you’re not okay. Layoffs are disruptive mentally and physically. Take the time to process the changes through out the first 30 days. Don’t bulldoze through it like I did the first time I was let go.

Land your pitch and story

• Craft your 30 second elevator pitch together for your current work circumstance. Then practice it with low barrier to entry moments like - with friends at brunch, with a recruiter who is reaching out about a job you don’t want, or with family as a mock interview. I’ve done all of these tactics before and the more you confidently state your story, the more confidence you build.

Start networking

• Once you land your story, start to network and meet people for virtual coffees or IRL. I start on LinkedIn to DM them and/or cross-reference my email contacts. Hot tip* Hot tip: Be flexible and accommodating when requesting someone’s time. When I received coffee requests in the past, I was surprised how inflexible some requestors were, those meetings often didn’t happen.

Go to industry related events

• It’s time to get back out there. Reconnect with macro trends of your industries or explore new ones. Take this opportunity to pivot industries if you want to try something new. Events are a great way to start to explore and meet new people in a prospective new field. Last year, I bought myself a trip to Austin, Texas last year to go network during a crypto conference to expand my network and explore a new career path.

At the end of the day…

Go at the pace that makes sense for you and your timeline. If you have to jump into a job right away and can’t find that “right” role, it’s no shame staying busy and either taking on:

1. Sweat equity work that will build up skills and experience, or

2. Interim Jobs that pay the bills. Though not preferable it will deliver you a paycheck and income (i.e. working at Starbucks, movie theater).

best of luck to us all. That’s it from the ground floor this month. See you next month

— person with job

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The Next 30 Day Outlook

1. Rosemary’s WV Spritz of Summer is where I will be. I don’t care that it’s basic. I liked Aperol Spritz before the WV girlies dominated it.

@personwithjob🩰spritz me all summer 🍹#spritz #aperolspritz

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2. Dark Summer Hair - Recession indicator? I think not! More so - color theory - I’m a deep winter, what’s yours?

   

   @personwithjobNaturally, I went dark for the summer. #haircolor

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3. Dear Ex Co-Workers, don’t LinkedIn request me pls

   

   @personwithjobReplying to @Dumdum hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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This newsletter is a monthly check-in with me to chat through all the chaos, content, and culture that people with jobs have to deal with.

If we’re just meeting for the first time or you’ve been following along since 2020 when I first started my TikTok account, it’s so nice to have you here.

Person With Job started when I was miserable at my corporate job working at the “Everything Store” at the height of the pandemic. I was working nonstop, sharing my experiences online—and 25K followers and 2.1M likes later, a community and collective was born.

The name Person With Job came to mind because:

1. I didn’t want to be identified by where I worked to give me credibility, and

2. I believe a job doesn’t have to be a 9–5. Life—and the work we put into our day-to-day selves—is continual. We all have a job to do.

In essence, we are all person with job.

I hope you enjoy the tidbits of pursuits, problems, and panache coming your way.

— person with job

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