This is our last week before my two extra ducklings (the children I watch part time) come back to our home. We’ve been enjoying these days and it will be a transition getting back into a new rhythm.

Anderson and I are quite opposite when it comes to making plans. He, my little hobbit introvert who just loves to be at home with his family over just about anything, got very overwhelmed when I started throwing out ideas of what special thing we could do each day before returning to our new normal. Each time I said, “We could go here!” Or “We could do this!” I saw the panic rise up in his eyes. He finally said something like, “I need to just take it day by day because I feel tired just hearing this.”

Where do you fall when it comes to homebody or social butterfly? Introvert or extrovert? I wouldn’t say I’m fully in one category but being married to Anderson has made clear I’m certainly not as much of a homebody/introvert as he.

One really delightful outing was going to a zinnia patch about forty minutes from our home. I do think Anderson and I had a lot more fun making the bouquet than the kids (they enjoyed it but were far more interested in the playground across the pond). This was really our first outing since Emma Louise’s arrival. We’ve been to appointments and ran into grocery stores and I’ve visited a friend but this was really our first bigger outing as a family. It was nice to adventure and also nice to come Home and slip into my pajamas.

This week, I finished reading Anne of Green Gables, which I haven’t read for at least ten years, perhaps longer. Oh, how I love Anne. She is whimsical, cheerful, and filled with such hope.

Often, I can worry about what might go wrong. When things are going well, I become scared wondering when the other shoe is going to drop. As a parent, these worries at times can be amplified.1

Reading how Anne walked through life, her heart seemed to be set on seeing the good. It reminded me of some words Flannery O’Conner penned: “Picture me with my ground teeth stalking joy—fully armed too as it’s a highly dangerous quest.”

Fear, worry, discomfort, frustration, loss, disappointment—all these things and more can turn us into cantankerous and dismal people. But what if we, like Anne, sought out to see the good, to be filled with hope, to ask “What if it’s wonderful?” Instead of “What if it turns out horribly?”

Oh, I have a lot to learn in this area. Even as I write this I can remember how negative I have been just in the past twenty-four hours! May God give us all grace and strength to think on what is good (Philippians 4) and believe the best (1 Corinthians 13).

a few bits and bobs…

to read… just began the third book in the Secrets of Ormdale series (per my sister’s recommendation). I have enjoyed these so much! If you’re like me and not much of a fantasy reader, just know they are not overly fantasy.

to eat… these pumpkin chocolate chips muffins. Have I sat out all my autumn decor? Why yes, in the name of joy and jollification I have.

to watch… Anderson has introduced me to both of these men. We haven’t finished this episode but we have really enjoyed what we’ve watched thus far.

to quote… “She had looked at her duty courageously in the face and found it a friend— as duty ever is when we meet it frankly.” -Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

This week has flown by (and also this month—how are we mid-August?). It’s hard to keep the days straight as we near the end of not only this summer season, but our first month with Emma Louise.

This third time having a newborn has been so sweet, mostly because I think we realize how quickly this time goes. Although, keeping a two-year-old and one-year-old busy when the weather is like swimming through a sauna has been a challenge.

This morning I did venture out for my first solo walk with all three. Even pre-Emma, our walks were very slow walks, as anyone who has walked with a toddler knows (and I’m a notoriously slow walker anyway). But this one was especially so as I found my bearings.

I welcomed all the stops to look at flowers or at the many crawling caterpillars on the sidewalks. We stopped to admire butterflies and Ada Rose was even gifted a small bouquet of zinnias from a kind neighbor with a green thumb.

As we plodded along, stopping and wondering and delighting, I was reminded how wonderful it is to be able to experience the marvels of life through the eyes of my children. I get to experience this life once through my own and now three times over.

It reminded me too of a quote from Tolkien I recently stumbled across:

“Do not spoil the wonder with haste!”

How quickly in our haste and busyness do we lose a moment to wonder, do we miss out on the beauty of an ordinary moment.

I hope this weekend you are able to take a moment to slow down, look around, and marvel a bit at whatever might be around you.

a few lovely things…

to read… I just read “The Bird in the Tree” by Elizabeth Goudge and loved it!

to watch… have you watched the new “Little House on the Prairie” yet? I have one episode yet and love it!

to quote… “We are restful when ordinary life is enough.” -Ronald Rolheiser

Emma Louise Petit is here! What a wonder.

We are all settling in. My mama is here for the week and helping keep us all fed and the older ducklings spoiled. Anderson and I are soaking up snuggles from all of our little ones.

The planner I got for the year has a section in which you can write three monthly goals. Our month of August will look different than others as we find our new rhythms and a simplifying of any goals or intentions.

Sometimes we see all we want to accomplish and we either get overwhelmed or begin to overwork. We need to step back and discern what is the main thing? What do we really care about? What does our family really need in this season?

My main “goal” or hope for this season is to enjoy Emma Lou and cultivate peace in our home, which is one of Anderson and I’s main values for our family and home. It’s simple and not really something one can check off a list, but if at the end of the day I can say I enjoyed a snuggle with Emma and sought peace in my words, actions, or seeking reconciliation I have done what I hoped to do.

Lots of other things need to be done, must be done, but for now these are the main thing. What is your main thing? What do you value? What one or two intentions do you have for the next month?

I pray you have a great weekend. Here is a tired, happy photo of us.

a few lovely things…

to read… I began reading Seeking Persephone this week.

to quote… “I cannot open mine eyes,

But Thou art there ready to catch

My morning soul and sacrifice…”

-George Herbert

The weather this week has been a true gift, particularly the mornings. They have been breezy, overcast, warm but not overly hot, giving me an opportunity to go on walks, send the children out to play or myself outside for a bit without having to worry over the possibility of heat stroke.1

We’ve still been waiting on this little one to arrive and as I wait I’ve been thinking about helpful distractions. Often people advise a pregnant woman to distract herself at the start of labor. If you focus too much on your laboring pains you can wear yourself not only physically but also mentally—especially if you end up having a long labor. In many areas, though, distraction can prove helpful.

Charlotte Mason, an education reformer and thinker, discusses how in children (and I would argue any aged person), distraction can be helpful when one’s will is fatigued.2 When a temptation, whether it be immoral or simply a habit you are attempting to change (or, like me, perhaps an attempt to avoid discouragement as you wait), arises sometimes the best thing to do is to enjoy a pleasant distraction and then you might forget about the temptation entirely or you will have a bit more refreshment to say “no” to the temptation before you.

Recently, this idea struck me as I was attempting to console and correct a child who woke up a bit grumpy and then quickly fell into a rage. I was giving direction but quickly realized they were too far gone. Wondering what I should do I looked out our window and shouted, “Oh wow! Look! Mushrooms!”

This wasn’t a calculated move on my part. I was genuinely surprised. The day before there were no mushrooms and now, as I looked out, there were likely a hundred. This child broke out of their rage and went to look, entranced by this new, interesting occurrence.

Of course, not all fits and tantrums end so quickly but sometimes we all need a little distraction in order to get out of our funk, sinful attitude, or thought pattern.

A mentor of mine once told me how she had spent many nights worrying over a wayward child. She would pray, cry out to the Lord, seek encouragement in his Word. “But then,” she told me, “I’d put on a Netflix documentary about these surfers who ride on massive one-hundred-foot-waves. Because after awhile my praying and thinking about this child needed to be set aside and I needed a distraction from this situation.”

The thought has always struck me. We need to give attention to the necessary things in our lives. We shouldn’t distract ourselves so continuously that it becomes as if we aren’t living in our actual reality. There are problems, demands, responsibilities that need attending. And also… there is Sabbath. There is setting aside our work. There is “considering the lilies” and trusting God that if we don’t fret about our particular situation for a blessed thirty minutes it will still be seen and attended to by Him (and there for us to attend to once we return).

Another friend of mine told me once that her husband and her were having some recurring fights over the same issues early on in their marriage. They decided to take a “week off” which meant they couldn’t discuss those topics for an entire week. She said the break gave way to more enjoyment and laughter in their marriage—something we all need! Especially our minds are preoccupied with whatever issues we are trying to resolve.

It’s so simple but also can be hard to do. And so, as I wait on this baby I am trying to find ways to distract myself from the worries that arise as I think about labor or even just the discomfort of being in this nine-month-pregnant body. Are there any concerns you have or temptations you are facing that you might need a little break from and a good, old fashioned distraction from?

My husband has started swimming laps once a week and it has been a good way for him to disconnect. My recent go to distractions are not so healthy or impressive. I’m enjoying listening to Amy Poheler’s podcast, reading a good novel, and sitting outside watching my children play. What are your helpful distraction go to’s?

a few lovely things

to read… I began the second book in the Secrets of Ormdale series. So delightful!

to quote… “It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like ‘What about lunch?’” Winnie the Pooh

That beautiful garden with those delicious looking tomatoes is not mine. It is an old picture from my late Pawpaw’s garden, as I have taken nary a photo in this past week. He grew a wonderful vegetable garden each summer and my Mawmaw would make the most delicious tomato sandwiches from his produce. What foods say summer to you? Mine are a German Johnson tomato and watermelon.

I am a few days from being forty weeks pregnant and we are all highly anticipating this little one’s arrival. My mama is on call to come watch the little ones and my hospital bag is (mostly) packed. I was saying to my sister how wild it is receiving a child into the world, whether it be from birth or adoption. There is so much anticipation and then one day, the child is in your arms and your entire life, and the lives of those in your home, change. The world is a bit different with this new life. Your family is wildly different. What a gift to experience it.

My sister, mama, and I were also recently talking about how easy it is to fall into a mindset of complaints. To endeavor upon a good, worthwhile, and often necessary thing with a defeated attitude when things become hard. It is as if we expect things to be easy.

But the truth is all good things in this fallen world will also have hardship tied to them. Even speaking of giving birth, original sin set forth a consequence that labor would not be painless and easy. Marriage will have its challenges, both small and large. Raising children will be incredibly fulfilling and incredibly taxing. Relationships with family, friends, co-workers will be what holds us together in the darkest times, fills us up in the brightest, and also brings with it hurt, betrayal, miscommunication, and heartache in our lives. Our work, no matter how passionate we are about it, will have aspects we really just would rather not do1.

This is how it is. In life we will be asked by the Lord to do good, worthwhile tasks and to not grow weary in doing them. Why are we encouraged to not grow weary? Because they can be wearisome. Because we are tired of forgiving again, doing the dishes again, sorting out a miscommunication again, needing to discipline a child again, answer that email again, get out of bed bright and early again.

But there is strength given to us for each new day and there is a God who sees us, counsels us, and can encourage us in our good work. We shouldn’t be surprised when it is hard. We should anticipate that with all the goodness in this world around us and all of the sin and humanity, we are also called to be working God’s goodness in the world which requires, well, work. Effort. Perseverance and fortitude.

At times we will need to cry out to God and to trusted others because sometimes the work is quite hard and our bodies, minds, and hearts are weary from the journey. But this path does not have to be one of constant complaint in which we are taken aback by the hardship. Instead it can be one in which we depend upon our God to help strengthen us for the journey and we joyfully, even cheerfully, take part in the work God has for us, even when it is hard.

a few lovely things…

to read… I just spoke of doing worthwhile things despite their difficulties but I do have to admit I gave up a few too-challenging-for-my-9-month-pregnant-brain2 books this week. Instead, I read volume eight from the Emma M. Lion series (loving, as are many of you) and picked up some of my favorite poetry to read.

to read aloud… We are reading A.A. Milne’s poetry during our tea time each afternoon and the children (and I) are so delighted by it!

to quote… “Man, please thy maker, and be merry.” -Dunbar

The beginning of this week brought with it some much-needed rain which I enjoyed two-fold: for the fact that it was cooling down the hot July weather and because that meant I did not have to go out and water all the plants! I have tried to be pretty diligent in watering my plants this summer but this heat has put up a fierce battle. My hydrangea bush did not bloom this year (and I’ve heard the same for a couple other friends) and I didn’t get any of the canterbury bells, sunflowers, or lupines I planted and only a very wimpy looking tomato or two. Faithfully, though, my zinnias are finally blooming (though very scarcely).1 Alas, there is always next summer for the flower garden of my dreams.

We are a little over a week from the due date with our third child and depending on the day, or moment, this either feels me with excitement or anxiety. The anticipation of labor always worries me but I keep reminding myself that once it begins my brain will just click in and do what needs doing.2

Also, these days depending on the moment, I am either in good spirits or am the most cantankerous, persnickety, disgruntled pregnant woman you might ever encounter. There have been many a morning I have woken up already with a list in my head of why I am angry at the world. More than once I have ended my morning journal entry only to realize it is full of complaints and had to write THANK YOU in big letters at the top of a fresh page and fill it with anything I can think of to be thankful for.

Of course, being near the end of pregnancy and it being quite hot and having still a home and family that expects me to wake up each day and feed them, clothe them, and tend to them3 can make it harder for me at times to stay cheerful. But, if I am being honest, I don’t really need all these things in order to be a grump. I can do grump pretty well even in seasons when life isn’t too demanding, when the weather is perfectly spring, and my body feels fit as a fiddle.

Much to my regret and remorse, I look back over so many seasons of my life and see a woman who, despite having so much good around her, consistently focused on what she lacked.

It’s so easy for us to be discontent, isn’t it? To gripe and complain for how we wish things were, what we wish we had, for an easier life. We become acutely aware of how we are the victims and life is against us. We fall into pools of pity and struggle to get out and find perspective.

Of course, the reality is that things are not as they should be. Bodies ache, relationships contain strife, work is grueling, people sin and fail, finances strain, conditions are not always fair. But there is still good and there is still beauty and hope can still be found. We will look back one day on this season and see goodness in it, even if right now we don’t have the perspective to see and appreciate it.

So my encouragement to you is to take your own moment to make your list. Write down what you are grateful for, the ordinary and the extraordinary. Things are not as they should be and yet goodness can always be found.

a few lovely things…

to read… I started reading Caroline by Sarah Miller and the seventh volume of Emma M. Lion.

to eat… I’m looking forward to trying this recipe out this weekend.

to quote… “If you think of this world as a place intended simply for our happiness, you will find it quite intolerable; think of it as a place of training and correction and it’s not so bad.” -C.S. Lewis

It is July and I am still wondering how that could possibly be! We are in the midst of a heat advisory but even prior to this I have been keeping us indoors more than I would like due to, well, the humidity and my pregnant self. The migraines I sometimes get can be spurred on by getting overheated so I am really trying to avoid that but it is difficult when there are typically anywhere from two to four little ones in our home and we all feel a bit antsy to be out of doors.

I was feeling a bit sad about this the past week, longing to go outside more than the scanty one or two hours we are able to do right now (or more like I am able to do… children almost always find any weather tolerable). As I sat at the breakfast table, mopily1 eating my yogurt, it seemed the Good Teacher reminded me that though I have this limitation I can lean into other things in order to bring us delight and rest.

For instance, when the weather is nice we still have read aloud time each day but certainly not as much as when we are cooped up in the house. I find it pretty easy to skip over reading more if we are all outside, playing and happy. Now that we will likely be inside a lot more this month I can opt to read a bit more with these little ones.

We’ve found new games to play inside. Ada came up with one where all the children are the flopsy bunnies and I, as the mother, am Mrs. Flopsy Bunny. They go into Mr. mcGregor’s garden (the kitchen) and have to flee from whomever is designated the villain, I.e. Mr. McGregor.2

I introduced them to playing hot potato and we came up with a rendition of hide-and-seek where the seeker is a giant and stomps around bellowing the infamous, “Fee fi fo fum…”

The kids are still rowdy and longing to go outside, just as I am, but these small additions to our day have helped us bring in some delight and enjoyment even in our limitations.

This little limitation I have right now with the heat that is keeping us inside more is very small compared to so many. There are those who are limited in their body in lasting, significant ways. Those limited to a hospital bed. Those limited to caring for the needs of a parent, disabled child, or ill spouse who cannot be left alone. We all have limitations, some greater than others.

When I think of this, I pray I learn in my limitations how to live well in them. The truth is, I will likely get more and more limited in my body as I age. Unforeseen circumstances could limit me even more in how I spend my days, money, resources. Will I be able to live accepting these limitations with creativity and even cheerfulness? Will you?

Our lives are lived in chapters and some chapters have more limitations than others but all can be lived in friendship with the Lord and in the peace, joy, and strength that he offers us.

a few lovely things…

to read… Reading the sixth volume of Emma M. Lion in between my other books and, as always, it is delightful!

to listen… My mom, sister, and I (finally) recorded another podcast episode for Down the Rabbit Hole!

to enjoy… This is my very favorite chocolate bar. Perfect for when you have a sweet craving.

to quote… “What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance.” —Jane Austen, in a letter to her sister

We are getting closer and closer to welcoming a new baby girl into the family. Ada Rose is asking me often how the baby in my belly is and then ensures to tell me about the one in her own (ha!). River is little enough to have no idea what is coming his way in the next month or so. And we are all in the final stages where there is just waiting and preparing and wondering what so much will be like.

For me, I wonder (and worry) about labor. I am so curious what she looks like (but if my two first are any indication in their likeness I have a pretty good clue). I wonder how we all will transition, how each family member will adjust, and inevitably there is always the wondering and trepidation of how one will go with so little sleep. But, of course, one does.

As sleep comes and goes, I often find myself awake at night wondering about all these things and more. What if’s and fear come easy. Will everyone be alright? is the underlying question.

The future and unknown looms. Not just all that will transpire in these coming months but for my whole life, the entire life of my children, my husband, my parents. Will everyone be alright? I wonder.

This summer our church has been going through Psalm 23 and it’s no wonder this psalm is so beloved. As my heart easily churns on the What if’s, I have found myself returning to the last few lines of this beautiful writing:

Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the presence [and care of] the Lord as long as I live.

What an incredible hope. If I knew the future, I am certain I would find more sorrow and heartache than I would wish to. Some of it might seem completely insurmountable. If I let me my mind churn on the What if’s I can wonder how I could possibly ever survive if some of those worries came true.

But I must remember: God’s care will never leave me. Even when I go through the darkest valley, he will be with me. His presence is not a “what if”. It is certain and steadfast. I can count on my God to be with me no matter what this life entails.

Surely he is with you, dear reader. No matter what your life’s circumstances look like now and no matter what might be coming your way. I pray you are encouraged on this Friday to look with hope toward the future.

a few lovely things…

to read… I picked up Mere Motherhood by Cindy Rollins from the library and am enjoying it immensely. Lots of wisdom in this memoir.

to eat… Per the picture above, watermelon is being consumed with great frequency in this house! It isn’t summer time to me without watermelon and German Johnson tomatoes.

to quote… In the twilight of life we will be judged on love alone. -St. John on the Cross

They were a couple about as different as night and day. He tall, broad, with a looming presence. Her petite and full of warmth. He didn’t smile often and her always. He had a way of speaking that sounded dictator-like and she had her sing-songy way.

Both loved the Lord and had dedicated their lives to living in a country not their own to plant a church, love and care for a people with a vastly different culture, and train up others to do the same. Both sincerely loved God, others, and one another.

A vivid example stands in my mind, however, that contrasts their personalities well. After a demanding day of ministry, my phone lit up with a notification from our ministry group chat. He sent out a long text that read almost like a war cry. It was incredibly earnest and also… critical? Harsh? A call to do better without acknowledging any of the work we had been doing. At almost the same moment, his wife sent out a text. They had to have been writing it at the same time and sending without the other being aware. Her message contained a picture of the setting sun and a praise to the God who made it.

They were quite different and to be honest he was challenging. Sincere. Heartfelt. Earnest. But challenging.

I remember a full time missionary telling me that he was one who took awhile to understand, to look over his sometimes awkward and demanding tone, but once you did you found the place it all was coming from: love.

What I remember most was his wife. She was a beacon of light in a rather dreary circumstance. A voice of hope, kindness, and praise when the tone of the room could often be harsh.

Recently, I read “For the Family’s Sake” and when I came to the following passage I wrote this woman’s name in the margins:

While one person is always miserable about a husband with an unreasonable temper and a cramped house, another with the same and worse glories in and enjoys the sight of trees outside the window. Her eyes shine as she describes a sunset. Abundant life bubbles up like a spring of pure water in all sorts of lives. Blessed are those who learn to enjoy what is good in their everyday. They are happy who learn to appreciate the value of the good enough job they are accomplishing in their own humdrum, flawed life. Glad are we when we don’t fret about what cannot be changed at that time. People such as these paint beautiful living pictures in the frame of their lives.

Our lives will never be perfect on this side of eternity, nor can we expect them to be. Something will always be not as we wish it. And often it is more than just one something. Of course, we can pray and work and put in effort to improve situations that need improving. But perhaps the key is understanding this will take time, the work of the Lord, our own effort and long-suffering and perseverance, and even times in which the Lord must work in someone else’s own heart and they must also choose to put in the effort.

So what do we do in the life we have now? How do we live with things just as they are?

I think back to one of my favorite verses:

“Trust in the Lord and do what is good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.”

When we don’t know how we can go on, when we are frustrated with things as they are, when things don’t go as planned sometimes all we can do is this: trust in the Lord to do what he sees best to do and then do whatever good is before us. Whether that be doing the dishes or hanging up a beautiful piece of art or giving a meal to a friend in need or praying as our boss loses it on us again or whatever it might be. We trust the Lord to do what only he can do and then we plod along in the life he has given us with the people he has placed there and in the circumstances, house, body we have.

I love this verse and the one that comes after:

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.”

In the midst of this accepting and trusting and plodding we aren’t joyless. We aren’t miserable. Just as my friend from the beginning of the story and the woman reflected in the book, we can find joy and delight in the good bits of life, in what God has given us, in who he is, in his nature and creation, in the food we enjoy and the tea we drink and the songs we sing and the books we read and the jokes we hear and the stories we tell and the art we make and the beauty we look for, notice, appreciate, praise.

There is goodness to be found even in trying circumstances and less-than-ideal situations. May we be one seeks it and doesn’t settle into a miserable state of being, defeated because things just aren’t going our way.

and now a few lovely things…

to read… I just read "The Wise Woman” by George MacDonald and loved it! I believe it would be classified as a fairy tale and it is beautiful, delightful, and inspiring. The best sort of story.

to listen… Sleep is not coming as easy these days so I often put on my beloved Narnia series because they are enjoyable and I am so familiar with them that if I fall asleep in the midst of it I can pick up again where I left off without losing a beat. Right now I am listening to Prince Caspian.

to quote… “For what people are accustomed to, they regard as coming from nobody; as ife help and progress and joy and love were natural crops of Chaos or Old Night.” -George MacDonald from “The Castle: A Parable”

It is hard to believe that we are wrapping up our first week of June! This year has flown by.

Our weekend plans are few: popping in on a birthday pool party for a newly five-year-old, perhaps seeing some friends, and relaxing. The weather has been very mild this week and I am hoping it continues.

Perhaps due to her little mind’s attempt to process the coming of the new baby, or perhaps because she is two-and-a-half and such is the age, Ada Rose has suddenly wanted to pretend to be a “little baby.” She will come to her Papa or I and want us to cradle her as she speaks in her baby voice. On our walk today, she told me a long story about how she was going to become a baby and then her brother and sister could push her in the stroller.

Yesterday, I was sitting outside with the kids when she crawled into my lap and said she was my “little baby.” I cooed and rocked her and then I began to tell her a story.

One of my favorite moments in this life so far was only a few years ago. Ada was in her first year and waking up often in the night. I came in one night to nurse her and rock her. We were rocking back and forth as I put my head back and closed my eyes, singing the hymn I have dubbed “Ada’s hymn,” Great is Thy Faithfulness. I learned it while she was a newborn and sing it to her most nights.

I sat and sang, holding my little one, my first child. Assuming she was asleep, I looked down, the moon giving just enough light to see her face. Instead of sleeping, she was looking at me, her face beaming brighter than that moon. A look of delight, adoration, sheer happiness was on her face as she watched me sing.

This moment I captured up and have stored in my heart, often returning to it. In one of her books (though I forget which one), Jennifer Pepito wrote how to her the look of love from a little one to his mama is a glimpse of the way Jesus looks at us.

Jesus is looking at you, lovingly, delightfully. He created you and finds you wonderful. This all sounds quite cliche and yet it truth. Truth that cannot be changed or thwarted by anything or anyone, even ourselves.

We were created and meant for life in communion and fellowship with Jesus. His love for us is not being withheld and he has shown his love to us again and again and will continue to do so.

Furthermore, just as he loves us, our hearts are meant to love him with that same delight and adoration of a child.

May you know the face of Jesus smiling at you and be satisfied and delighted in his love. May your love for him deepen and grow.

a few lovely things…

to read… I devoured “First we have coffee” this week. It’s a memoir of a woman raised by eccentric and devoted parents who were missionaries. This book is an inspiration in how this family did life together, but the story really is a book of love to the author’s mother. This woman was an incredible mother, friend, Christian, and wife. She left such a beautiful legacy. The chapters are fairly short and the writer adds in a lot of fun stories! Well worth a read.

to savor… My friend, Taylor, is a superb baker and once even had her own cookie company. I asked for one of her go-to chocolate chip cookies recipes and she did not disappoint! These make eight very large cookies (which Tay says is part of why they are so good); however, I needed more for a family event and to bring to small group so I made twenty-five from this recipe. Also, a note: these call for two cups of nuts to be added or you can sub with more chocolate chips. I didn’t know this before I began the recipe so I just did a little over two cups of chocolate chips and did not anything extra (like nuts or more chocolate chips) and they were still delicious!

to quote… “What a joy it is to be well spent.” -unknown

This week has brought with it some warmer weather and several rain showers. When we go play in the backyard now I send off the children coated in bug spray and they return properly hot and sweaty (a sign of childhood time well spent, in my opinion).

It is not officially summer but it certainly starting to feel that way. The blackberry bush I planted way back when has some near-ready blackberries and we started seeing some hummingbirds make their way through our flowers on the front porch. The birds have become even louder as they sing and we have a backyard bunny rabbit making his way into our yard every morning and evening (he has a captive audience and has been provided a few carrots).

When the weather is especially nice and spring-like, we spend all the time we can outside, including snack and meal times. Now that the weather is getting a bit more hot and muggy, we are appreciating having our snack and meal times at the table indoors, feeling the air condition and drinking ice cold water (my drink of the week is ice water with a splash of cherry juice and lime juice).

We had our elevenses at the table this past week while the little ones cooled off from being outside and I read some from Winnie-the-Pooh. This is our second time making our way through the complete collection and each time it is delightful for all of us. While reading, a line struck me and I wrote it down:

Hmm… wisdom from The House at Pooh Corner.

How natural it can seem to offer tenderness, compassion, delight to the littlest ones among us but often we fail, or simply forget, to offer it to those around us who are not-so-small. Just as a child needs affection and gentleness, so does our spouse, parent, friend, neighbor, co-worker.

We can assume that these grown ups, or our own grown up selves, will be okay without an extra touch of affection or thoughtfulness. Even just thinking of the basics, we can assume we can all get on without much sleep, overstimulating devices and environments, little food or nutritionally-lacking food. How often when I think of some of the basics a child needs, such as a regular rhythm of sleep, meals, time in nature, and rest, am I reminded that I also need these things, along with those grown up children around me. Just as a child can be seriously upset and off kilter by a constant stream of screens, chaotic environments, junk food, lack of sleep, and general dysfunction, so can us adults. Often, what our children need we also need, perhaps in a different form, manner, or amount because we are all of us humans. All of us designed by God and given limitations, needs, and desires. Yet all of us, like little children, long to be seen, delighted in, offered kindness and gentle responses to our antics.

Our children will have needs and they will also act out, misbehave, and do what is wrong. We have an authority and obligation as parents to correct and discipline that is of course different than our relationship to other people in our lives. However, this tenderness and gentleness still stands.

In similar ways, we will experience the sin and misbehavior of those around us, just as they will experience ours. How are we responding to them? Firmness, of course, is needed at times. But is there also tenderness? Is there also gentleness? Seeking to understand and providing forgiveness and mercy?

When I think on this, a great deal of conviction rises up in me. Does delight come on my face for my children and those in my care? Yes, it often does. When they are having a bad day or are misbehaving, discipline may be needed but usually I have some understanding of their frame, whether they are tired or hungry or just plain sinful. This can of course be incredibly challenging at times, but it certainly comes much easier than with other people. I want to be sure that delight and understanding is given to my husband just as it is to these small ones. That warmth and tenderness is extended to those the Lord has called me to serve as daughter, friend, sister, family member, just as it is with my little ones.

We are all of us in need of a certain amount of love, physical touch, words of encouragement, help, friendship, and attentiveness. The Lord has given us one another to help satisfy some of these desires. Of course, God is the only one who can fully satisfy our heart’s desires, but even in the garden before the fall it was not good for man to be alone.

And so I turn and look at my children and hope to learn.

All throughout the day I am having little voices ask me to look at what they built, how high they can jump, the treasure they found in the dirt, to listen to them sing a song. Their desire for my attention and delight is apparent.

But how often, if we just keep our eyes and hearts open, is our spouse asking for this too? Our friend, lonely co-worker, aging family member? They are looking for someone to acknowledge them, take a moment for them, to delight in them.

Recently, I was talking to my mom about the gift of parents and grandparents. I have been blessed in this area. There is a love and delight that truly does feel divine from them that I have experienced, and still do, in their gaze and attention. Now, having my own children, I feel this same sort of heavenly love and delight for my own. The sort of affection that makes me affirm with David that yes, surely you as my children are fearfully and wonderfully made!

There is a gift we get to experience in this sort of love from good and loving parents and other family members or friends. We get a taste of what it means to be a child of God. In the same way, if we are blessed with our own children, we likely are gifted an even greater experience of the reality of God’s love for us as our Father.

My prayer, as I reflect on this, is that a love and delight in others would grow, that I might more readily find those around me, may they be small or not-so-small, as fearfully and wonderfully made, glimpses of the image of our Creator. That a love and delight would be given and grow within me for those around me.

May we remember that even us grown up children need this sort of tenderness. And also sometimes we just need to put our phone away and go to bed after eating a good dinner.

and now a few lovely things…

to listen… I’ve been loving this album this week.

to read… Currently reading For the Family’s Sake and it is one I’m sure I’ll return to.

to play… Anderson and I have been on a Sequence kick this past week. It’s the perfect game for two when you want a relaxed game that has some challenge to it but not too much (aka me once 7 o’clock hits).

Have a great weekend!

The weeks have gotten away from me it seems and the past two Friday afternoons it has struck me: “Oh, I never wrote anything!” My sweet Anderson certainly noticed but other than that I know no one was grieving the lack of too-many-thoughts, but this practice is good for me.

I have often said that I am a better person when I am creating. And in this season, with limited time, often writing is the most accessible way to scratch that creative itch. However, I didn’t have much of any musings the past few weeks so perhaps it was best to just go quiet for a bit. There’s a Proverb I think about how it is best to stay quiet though you might be seen a fool lest you speak and prove it certain.1

The spring days have been glorious so far this month. This week we hit more of a hot spell which always leaves me grateful for a big sycamore tree in the backyard that provides ample shade and our screened in porch with a ceiling fan. Were it not for these two things, I would likely be tempted to keep us all inside more. Especially with a growing belly.

As her due date draws nearer, the excitement is growing for our little one. My midwife let Ada check for the baby’s heartbeat at this last appointment (and then, of course, checked the heartbeat of the baby in Ada’s belly). Her little mind is trying to understand and it is a gift to watch. River remains oblivious (just as she was when he was soon to be born) but once she is here I know the reality will soon sink in for us all and we will be finding it harder to remember what it ever was like before she was here in our home.

This week I have been thinking of beauty, space, and home. I read a bit of Amy Carmichael’s life and her founding of Dohnavur. If you don’t know much (as I didn’t), Amy Carmichael was a fairly well off Irish woman who moved to India to work with young girls who needed homes. Without these homes, they would have become temple prostitutes. She essentially established a children’s home, in which there were aunties who each kept a cottage full of babies and children, each becoming their own little family.

One thing she wrote struck me:

Before the children came, we were continually camping in tents, mud huts, or tumble-down old bungalows, and we never stopped to even grow a flower. But after they came, we had to make a home for them, so things were different. And because we know that beautiful things are dear to God (look deep into beauty and you see Him there) and that ugly, vulgar, course things are a jar, like a false not of music, we chose, when had the choice, the beautiful, not the ugly. Someone, (the angels perhaps) had planted trees up and down the field for us. We cherished those trees. And flowers began to grow where only scrub had been, and gradually the place became sweet and green, almost as though it offered coolness. And the bare, red blot on the bare, hot plain changed to something pleasant to the eye and beloved, at least to ourselves.

In our homes, may they be a suburban house like my own, a cottage in India, a camper, mountain house, hut, or apartment we can find ways to beautify the space for those who live and visit our homes and for ourselves.

Two examples are dear to me, one my own mother and one I know only through books, Betsie ten Boom. Both women, no matter where they have lived, took time, energy, and resources in order to make their spaces more beautiful and it benefited not only the space but the people in it. My mom has never seen a temporary living situation, like an apartment for a year whilst my dad worked in North Dakota, as not needing “sprucing up” or beautification. Betsie, even in prison, found creative ways to make her space lovely and orderly.

I am currently nesting, I suppose, only it is not with more pressing items (like sorting through baby clothes) but sprucing up some well-loved and now neglected parts of the house that need some attention. Updating our kitchen hardware and reupholstering our dining room chairs are top on my list. As always, I am trying to do this on a budget.

I was reflecting this week on ways one can spruce up their home with little to no money and I thought of a few ideas. I’d love to hear your own!

• De-cluttering. Sometimes just going through and getting rid of unnecessary and unused items can be plain therapeutic. An overstimulating space you avoid is suddenly orderly! Neat! (Things you may not always say of my own home!) and that gives a certain kind of beauty.

• Flowers or greenery in whatever vase-like structure you have, wherever you can place them. We have a beautiful bush that produces lovely pink flowers (I want to learn their name) and I love being able to cut them and place them throughout the house.

• Candles.2

• Writing or painting Scripture verses, lines from hymns, or beautiful quotes on pieces of paper and hanging them up or tucking them around your home for some beauty and inspiration.

These are just a few simple, cheap or free ways I have thought of but again I’d love the inspiration from you as I continue “nesting” (and not sorting the clothes that need sorting).

a few lovely things…

to listen… You can listen to a lot of audiobooks for free on Spotify. I recently listened to Emma, which I heard someone describe as a study on envy and vanity (which seemed to be true). As always, Jane Austen captures human personalities so well.

to read… I read Once a Queen by Sarah Arthur and if you’re feeling especially patient (it dragged on a bit) it might be worth your time.

to sip… In pregnancy, the thought of just plain water is not appealing so I’m often adding in some lime or lemon juice. This past week I picked up some strawberry lemonade and added a splash to my ice water.

It has been two weeks since I last wrote, owing to my general weariness and need for rest. After a month of domestic sufferings (strep throat, a cold I couldn’t shake, toddlers waking up several times in the night, etc) I am bolstered by some sleep, rest, and being able to finally breathe through my nose (what a difference that does make-ha!).

Last weekend, we went camping with my parents and sister’s family. We camped all together almost exactly a year ago from this past weekend, which also was close to the final days of my beloved Pawpaw. It’s always a gift being all together and it is always a gift coming back from camping and getting a proper shower and sleeping in one’s own bed.

How have your past weeks been? I hope you have been free from illness and able to enjoy the warmer weather.

Hope, the necessity of hope and the goodness of it, keeps coming to my mind over these past few days. The Lord keeps planting reminders of it in the books I am reading, podcasts I am listening to, conversations I am having.

A long beloved quote of mine was referenced in a book I read a few weeks ago. I once had it drawn out and framed in my bedroom and am beginning to think I might need to do that again. It is by Pope Benedict XVI and reads:

I might add, one who has hope also dies differently. Easter reminds me of this great hope we have, not only in this life but in our one to come. And God is the Great Redeemer, the one who works in all things, in everything. Life, however fraught, is never fully despairing because we have a God who is redeeming and promises to fully restore.

A podcast I listened to recently spoke to this. If there is any part of our life in which we have no hope, we are believing lies, the interviewee said.

It made me ask myself: do I live with hope? Do I believe that redemption is possible even in the most seemingly distraught and fraught circumstances and relationships?

We can look at particular relationships, the political climate, the state of sin in our world and in our own hearts and begin to believe that we are beyond repair, beyond healing, beyond anything good. And yet.

God’s Kingdom is coming and is here now. He is working, redeeming, moving in our hearts and in those around us. He is able to take even what was meant for evil and use it for good. There is a hope we can have even in the face of the most dire of circumstances, the most despairing of states of heart, the most challenging of relationships because God has not stopped his work of redemption and he won’t stop until it is complete.

May we begin to live with hope—hope for our families, our marriages, our children, our friends, our work, our parents, our siblings, our churches, our nation.

and now a few things to recommend…

to read… I read the first in the Wormwood Abbey series and I am hooked! I can’t wait to get my hands on the second. Also, as pictured above, I finally received volume three from the Emma M. Lion series from my library and if you aren’t reading this series yet, what are you even doing?!

to sip… My sister was given an upgrade to her espresso machine so I was the lucky recipient of one thrifted Nespresso. And, as my sister put it: “Not to be dramatic, but your life is about to change.” I can now have honey cinnamon lattes at my fingertips. What a treat!

to quote… “All of God’s creatures are beautiful and useful, though not all of them are pleasant.” -Wormwood Abbey, novel one

Have a great weekend!

He is risen! Hallelujah! How was your Easter?

I had grand ambitions of making hot cross buns and doing a little Easter egg hunt with the kids that got derailed by the after effects of travel and then illness. In fact, many of our plans got derailed this week—a frolicking day became a day at home on the couch and in the doctor’s office, dinner with friends had to be postponed, several plans to have friends with their little ones over had to be cancelled. It was just one of those weeks. Instead of our aforementioned plans, we spent much of the week inside, curled up on the couch reading books and watching Peter Rabbit (when there wasn’t screaming—either from fussy, sick children or me, attempting to be patient with said fussy, sick children).

Motherhood has taught me many things but one thing it has brought to me is the lesson of discerning what is essential. I can have a million things I would like to do but when kids are sick and I don’t feel that well myself and everyone still has to eat three times a day the letter I wanted to write just may not get written and the laundry may just not be folded and those hot cross buns are no longer being made.

I had to have this very conversation with myself about what my essentials were this past week. Firstly, my children were sick and so they needed my care. This meant many things but one of the main things that had to be done was their breathing treatments (if you know, you know). My little ones have weaker lungs so we are not amateurs to breathing treatments so I knew just having this “to do” on my list was a big one (doing this four times for each child when said children are one and two-years-old can be a challenge). This meant making this an essential that had to be done.

I knew that plans needed to be cancelled and we all needed rest, which would include a lot of margin to hold crying children and cuddle their little bodies. I knew that the laundry still needed to be done, even if not folded. I knew that there needed to be something for us to eat. Dishes had to get done so we could use them each day. These were my essentials.

And then, there were the technically unnecessary yet essential items that bring some sort of sanity (at least to me). These type of things included making the beds, setting out bird seed, etc.

In different seasons, even different weeks, there are different essentials we might need to name and prioritize. When we are pregnant, ill, in the midst of caring for an aging parent, in a busy season at work, under a deadline we need to allow ourselves to set aside some of the duties we typically can, and maybe ought, to manage and only do whatever is essential to keep things afloat.

I think people often fall into one of two camps: taking on more than they should or doing far less than they ought. Both can be vices, I suppose—unnecessary busyness and sloth—but what we are seeking is the virtue of diligence in the “situation the Lord assigned” (1 Corinthians 7:17).

Diligence includes doing our duty and also means recognizing our limitations. It is doing what we ought to do and also freeing ourselves from the things we would like to do or believe we should do or others expect us to do when certain constraints would make the doing of those perhaps good things impossible, unnecessarily stressful, or too demanding for our current limitations, families, and responsibilities.

Perhaps you find yourself in a season that is pulling you in many different directions. You have responsibilities and duties that must be done. You are a little, or a lot, weary. Consider reflecting on your values for the grand scale of things and then go a bit more into the details: what are your essentials? What needs to be done? What is lifegiving enough that you need to prioritize it? What can be set aside, even if for a day?

I hope you are enjoying this Easter season, friends. I have high hopes once again to make those hot cross buns and bring them to a breakfast with friends this weekend. And I am looking forward to some rest.

a few things…

to eat… This past Wednesday evening I was wanting something different for breakfast the following morning so I threw the ingredients for this cinnamon raisin bread in the breadmaker and then made some french toast the next morning, but instead of milk I used a small container of cottage cheese I had been trying to find a use for. The result was delicious and helped boost the protein a bit. I blended the cottage cheese along with two eggs, cinnamon, honey, and a bit of vanilla extract in the food processor and then dipped my bread as usual.

to read… This one is dense and I only understand maybe half of it but I have been enjoying The Four Cardinal Virtues by Josef Pieper. It is referenced quite a bit in other books I have read so it has been on my “to read” list for awhile.

to sip… Once I spent a summer working for a church in London and helped with a big conference they held annually. It was fun and also grueling, as these things tend to be; long days, high energy, etc. etc. One of the missionaries said her recommendation was to have some sort of treat to look forward to each day, whether it be a piece of dark chocolate or a favorite drink. We recently bought San Pellegrino’s Blood Orange drink and it was my treat to get me through some of these stretching sick days.

to quote… When discussing Easter and why we celebrate the little girl I watch said enthusiastically, “My family celebrates CANDY!” Made me laugh.

Last week’s post was derailed by a migraine but I am back to writing and grateful to feel myself.

What I didn’t get to write last week was just how lovely our time in D.C. was with our friends, who are such wonderful and thoughtful hosts. We arrived to find our favorite snacks by our bedside table and in their fridge—a really thoughtful touch! We loved our time with them and it was a fun weekend away. I found some great thrift finds, we ate delicious Venezuelan food, and I enjoyed a perfect hazelnut latte. Anderson and I actually have another night away this coming weekend. We are going to see one of his favorite musicians and we are looking forward to some time alone.

We did not, however, realize when we bought these concert tickets many months ago that it would mean not being home for Easter. We should make it back midday Easter Sunday but I am grateful Eastertide is not just one day but a celebration lasting for fifty! How do you plan to celebrate Easter and the continued Easter season?

I’m looking forward to setting out some Easter decorations, baking some delicious spring treats, and having an Easter egg hunt with the ducklings.

Another marker of the season comes fittingly on Easter Sunday: the day of the last risk of frost in our area. I have quite a few seeds I am waiting to sow outdoors after this weekend but I started some tomato seeds in a few pots in our home several weeks back. I placed them in spots I thought would not be a temptation for little hands and thankfully the seedlings started sprouting sometime last week. There is something so joyful about seeing green pop up from dirt, especially after winter. The green evidence of life and growth brings me so much joy.

However… this past week some little hands pulled up a chair and found their way to one of the pots. When I went to check in on the all-too-quiet culprit, I found my green tomato seedlings on the table (lined up quite orderly I might add).

I would like to say I handled myself with composure and temperance but this would not be accurate. Tears may have even be shed.

It took me about an hour to go through the stages of grief (too dramatic?) but once I finally accepted my tomato seedlings were done I decided the best I could do was find some new use for this pot filled with dirt. My conclusion? A packet of Canterbury bell seeds which were a present in my stocking this past Christmas from my mom. They can be started indoors and then moved outside once the weather cooperates or sown directly outdoors. I was waiting to sow them outdoors but with a large pot full of dirt now barren I decided to press in some of the Canterbury Bells and see what happened.

The tomato seeds did not turn out as expected. On this day of Good Friday, when Jesus was crucified, I am sure his followers were thinking this was certainly not what they were expecting. Wasn’t he the Messiah? The King? And now he was dead?

And yet in this not-as-expected moment, redemption and transformation and divine grace were at work. The greatest sacrifice, the only sacrifice that could be made was made. Our sins were held completely in his body and with him they were crucified.

This was the only act we really truly needed and yet it looked nothing like we expected. In just a few days we will celebrate the beautiful, life-changing day in which his followers found him no longer dead, but alive! And with his resurrected life ours too were resurrected. We have been given new life, full life, forever life. Out of the not-as-expected beauty and wonder and the miraculous occurred.

I pray you have a moment to reflect on this Good Friday and that joyous feasting and celebrating awaits you come Easter!

a few things to leave you with…

to celebrate… I made this hot cross bun recipe last year for Easter and they were great! This year I wanted to try a sourdough version so I’ll be making these.

to craft… Egg blowing and painting has always fascinated me but I didn’t totally understand how one did it. This year I was inspired after seeing a finished project from a blog I often read so I watched this quick Youtube how to video and made some of my own. It was really fun and some of my ducklings helped me blow out the contents. I have them painted and will set them out on Sunday. I can post pictures of the results for next week!

to read… This book contains some homilies from a well known priest. It is dense but oh so rich.

to savor… Fairly often I have some sort of dip in the house but no cracker for it. This week there was a big container of hummus waiting to be eaten but nothing to scoop it up with. I found this very easy cracker recipe and liked the result. It is handy to know of an easy and quick cracker recipe when I find myself in a dip dilemma.

to quote… “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me will live even if he dies and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die.” John 11:25-26

Around this time of year we often have some milder weather and then another cold front sneaks in. The beginning of the week brought us that. I always tend to put away our heavier winter gear too soon (partly as an act of defiance and delusion, thinking if I put them away then surely we won’t need them) but I had to bring them back out this Tuesday so we could bundle up and go on a walk with one of my dear friends and catch up.

In January, Anderson and I attempted to go visit some friends in D.C. two weekends in a row and there were snow storms each weekend. So, we planned a month or two ahead, when snow should not be an issue. Well, that weekend is this one! So off we go and we are really looking forward to catching up with these friends. I am also looking forward to the car ride alone with Anderson, getting coffee and enjoying good food, hopefully exploring some fun shops, and being in a new place for a change of pace.

Plus, this weekend marks the start of spring and we will be in D.C. so I am hoping to see some cherry blossoms!

Yesterday I came to a startling passage in Scripture about a king of Judah, the son of King Jehoshaphat (unfortunate name, honorable man). King Jehoshaphat was one of the few leaders of the people of Israel who followed the Lord. Sadly, his son, King Jehoram, did not.

King Jehoram did “what was evil in the sight of the Lord” (2 Chronicles 21:6) and even killed all his brothers in order to secure his place as king (I had to go back and read that one twice to make sure I had read it right). He was a horrible man and so God brought about judgement.

Elijah sent him a letter stating what the Lord had decided to do, which was to strike his people, sons, wives, and possessions with a horrible affliction and also give him an intestinal disease which would cause his intestines to come out of his body.

And this occurred.

Jesus said, “out of an abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” We speak and act out of whatever goodness is in our hearts. And King Jehoram committed so many acts of evil he eventually had his insides on the outside of him.

All of this story was interesting to read but the part that startled me the most was this line: “[King Jehoram] died to no one’s regret” (2 Chronicles 21:20).

He died and no one missed him. No one mourned him. No one wished he had lived longer. It even says they did not perform the ceremonial customs they typically would for a ruler who passed.

I’m sure no one would like this to be said about them upon their death.

There is a Latin phrase I am sure you have heard of memento mori, or remember you will die. This is the time to think upon this, as we are in the season of Lent and had Ash Wednesday only a few weeks ago.

While not the most uplifting thought it is a reality and one we should consider. We all have our faults, failings, quirks, and vices. But are we seeking to cultivate virtue or just going about life, dismissing our sin, or totally unaware of it? Are we desiring to bring the Kingdom of God to our small little kingdoms—our homes, places of work, relationships? Are we living with intention or apathy?

There is goodness in living one’s life well, the season we are in well, not just because it is better for us (it is) but also it is better for others1. How we spend our days and lives matters. How we speak to one another matters. How we care for the people in our lives.

This is convicting for me to write and I pray I can do better on my journey. I pray the same for you.

and now for some recommendations…

to read… I finally made it through my pile of books. One I really enjoyed and has brought about many interesting conversations with Anderson and continued reflection for me is “What is Wrong with the World” by G.K. Chesterton.

to savor… I had some buttermilk I needed to use this past week so I made these sourdough biscuits. They were very good! I put most of them in the freezer so we have them on hand for the future.

to quote… “We should always have something worth while to think about, that we may not let our minds dwell upon unworthy matters.” -Charlotte Mason

Monday morning I woke up knowing I needed to tackle my big “to do” of going through all the clothes for the kids—removing items to small, throwing out items too tattered, giving away ones we don’t wear, adding in some of the new-to-us clothes we had been given. I also moved out all of their clothes from their closet because some little one, who shall not be named, enjoys pulling down clothes to try on during her rest time which results in her breaking hangers and making a big mess. So clothes they wear throughout the week are in a bin in the laundry room and nicer clothes for going out are in a separate space hanging up, out of the realm of temptation for this little one.

I knew this has needed doing for some time but I kept putting it off with excuses for my laziness or because the weather has been warming up and I’d rather us all be outside. But God seemed to agree with this mission of mine for he sent rain Monday morning, leaving us indoors and me with several hours of time to sort through the clothes while also trying to keep small hands from going through all the work I was attempting to do.

All this to say: the clothes are sorted and this part of my spring cleaning to do list is done. (Also, the weather cleared at lunch time giving us the gift of being outside which felt like a nice reward).

In many ways, I have felt my own heart needs some spring cleaning. I have often laughed to friends that I thought I was a patient, easy-going person until I got married and had children. The inescapability of a domestic life has revealed the cobwebs and disorganization within my own heart.

This past week there has been a glaring lack of patience, tenderness, and kindness found in me. Like Eustace Scrubb, I need my scales to be taken off and the method is painful though necessary.

There is spring cleaning needed. A need to accept the limits and inconveniences of my life, to embrace the setting down of my will for what the Lord has for me now, and a choice needs to be made to be kind even when my initial response is to be snappy or sarcastic.

And this will, of course, be a lifelong journey. Just like each year we need some spring cleaning in our homes, throughout our life we need this refining work. But I do hope that some progress occurs, some rhythms are established, some of the slothfulness I feel toward this labor is replaced with more diligence.

One day, my home won’t have the joys and struggles of little ones. But this season, I pray, helps develop some patience and fortitude for the joys and struggles ahead of me, whatever they might be. I pray they do for you too, in whatever season you find yourself in.

and now for some recommendations…

to sip… This week, I have loved mixing some club soda, lime juice, and salt in a glass for a refreshing drink.

to read aloud… I found a couple children’s books that tell some old Irish folk tales, which I thought was appropriate with St. Patrick’s Day coming up. One I really have loved reading is Harp ‘O Gold.

to quote… “Thrift is poetic because it is creative; waste is unpoetic because it is waste.” -G.K. Chesterton

Today is Anderson’s 34th birthday! He is kind, funny, loyal, and a loving father and husband and friend. When you are in his circle, you have a friend who will stand by you, stand up for you, and stick with you through thick and thin. I am excited to celebrate him this weekend.

Another birthday gift to him is this weather (I can’t write a reflection without speaking of the weather). We had some rainy and chilly weather to begin the week but we are ending in warmth and sunshine. The kids and I went to have a picnic lunch with Anderson this past week and walked a beautiful trail, I have hopes to begin to prep things for the garden, and are trying to spend whatever time we can outside. We even noticed some daffodil stems popping up and one small, not yet bloomed, bit of yellow. Spring is near!

On one of the dreary days, we found ourselves in the parking lot of our doctor’s office waiting for the kids’ appointment. I put on a story they liked and a bit of it caught my attention. The main character, Lucie, said “here’s my sitting and thinking place.” It reminded me of Winnie-the-Pooh’s “thoughtful spot.”

Recently, I listened to Pride and Prejudice and, of course, the story captured me like it always does. The wit, the characters, the romance. But what I noticed most this time around was how often Lizzie spent alone, walking or in her room, thinking and pondering over the events that were occurring around her.

This might sound silly, but I do believe it is becoming more rare to have this time where one can just sit and think. In the midst of shows to watch, phones to scroll, podcasts to listen to, and then the responsibilities of life, it can be quite easy to go about one’s day without ever sitting to think, reflect, pray. Sometimes this might be from a sense of a lack of time but, at least for me, even when time allows for some solitude and silence, I choose noise and distraction.

It reminds me of a time once in college, where a still dear friend of mine reflected on an evening she had recently had. She was in the midst of a whirlwind romance (with the man she is now married to) and, like any young couple and budding love there was drama and questions and longings and things to… think about.

She told me how she sat, for about an hour, alone in her room just thinking. It was a profound moment for her. Why? Because she didn’t do that very often. In fact, I am sure none of us do that very often.

A couple times in the past few weeks, I have gathered a thick blanket and big pillow during our rest time and laid out in front of our large windows in our bedroom, which look out over our backyard. There is a huge sycamore right in front of the windows so, especially when all is green, it feels like you’re in a tree house. Anyway, I laid out, drank my tea, read some from a novel, and then spent time just thinking and praying.

Just like my friend, this moment felt special. Unique.

Of course, I have two little children who need my attention, a house to take care of, meals to make, and so on… so I can’t necessarily go off to my “thinking spot” at my heart’s beck and call. But often, when there is a moment like during rest time, I spend my time listening to a podcast or reading a book or talking with someone over the phone.

None of these things are wrong, but what perhaps might be is never taking any time to sit and think, to sit and pray. It is life giving and also it is… hard. I have the opportunity to go to my “sitting and thinking place” every day during rest time and yet I have only gone a time or two in the past month because, well, other things call to my heart and I answer.

To sit, without distraction, and let your mind wander. To converse with God without looking at your phone or putting on music to “fill the silence.” There is resistance, at least in me, to fully embrace this time when I have it.

Perhaps you have your special sitting and thinking place. If so, I’d love to hear about it. Perhaps you don’t and maybe want to look for one.

I hope wherever you are reading this it is warm outside and you have a moment this weekend to be in your “thoughtful spot.”

and now for some recommendations…

to sip… A friend dropped off my favorite latte for me this morning: a cinnamon and honey latte. What a treat.

to savor… I made the “Olive Garden” pasta this past week. I love how it is an easy crockpot meal that is really satisfying.

to quote… “to the inspiration of necessity, we owe half the wise, beautiful, and useful blessings of the world.” -Little Women

This week has been a bit chillier here in central North Carolina. We had some windy days and yesterday was quite rainy, but we still made it outside a few days.

I tend to have a dilemma I fall into every few months where suddenly the list of books I am reading amount to far too high of a number. My route I take to overcome this is to start with one of the books, finish it and then move onto the next, over and over until I have completed them all. I am finally on my last one, Little Women, and once I am finished with it have a book or two I am excited to begin.

The past few weeks I have been writing about St. Augustine’s idea of ordo amoris, or ordering our loves. Understanding that we are loving creatures and it is not the lack of loving that is often our issue, but what it is we are loving.

It begs the question: what do you love? What affections have your heart? And are they worthwhile?

It might be easy to curate some sort of list stating what is worthwhile and what is not. But, of course, like with anything there is nuance (at times) and some things need real discernment. On the other hand, there are certainly things one can as a Christian can objectively say, “This is not worth loving. This is not a good thing.”

I don’t want to get too into the weeds because I do feel a bit apprehensive even writing this. I think it can be easy to become hoity toity, listing off all that is good and perhaps, even getting some sort of arrogant glee, in condemning all that is bad. I do in fact think the listing off the bad is where pride can slip in fairly quickly.

However, there are things we can see in Scripture, in how God made us and this world, which are good and we should learn to love them. If we don’t, as I wrote a bit about last week, the fault is our own not that good thing.

When I think of what is good, I go to the words of Jesus when he is asked an important question:

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”

Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

We are to love God and his creation.

This can encompass so much. God is a God of honor, truth, beauty, goodness, creativity, wonder, forgiveness, mercy; therefore, those are also the sorts of things we should love.

We are commanded to love people and, in many ways, we are shown what this looks like in Scripture: hospitality, forgiveness, generosity, laughter, feasting, grieving, serving; therefore, these are also the sorts of things we are to love.

In many ways, these commands given to us are like the lenses we can use to see what is worthwhile in our world. To see what we should be loving and to what degree.

There are many other thoughts I have outside of this when it comes to how I want the shape of my days to look, what I want my heart to be drawn to, what I want to guard my heart from. But I think these words from Jesus are the most central.

and now for some recommendations…

to read… As I mentioned, I am reading “Little Women,” but I did start two nights ago (oops) The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie.

to listen… love this song.

to savor… I made this for us for lunch this past week and it was tasty!

to read aloud… Ada picked this book out at the library and I wasn’t familiar with the book or the collection they are part of but she adores them and this one has been a fun read. I’d like to find the others to read to her, as well.

to quote… “I remember a time when this hand was white and smooth, and your first care was to keep it so. It was very pretty then, but to me it is much prettier now,—for these seeming blemishes I read a little history. A burnt offering has been made of vanity; this hardened palm has earned something better than blisters, and I’m sure the sewing done by these prickled fingers will last a long time, so much goodwill went into the stitches.” -Mr. March to Meg in “Little Women”

The weather truly is such a gift here! Signs of spring are everywhere. I even noticed a little green sprouting up in places that have been brown for months.

In many ways it feels like we are coming out of hibernation. We are going outside for longer stretches, spending more time with friends and family, enjoying more walks. This weekend we will meet some friends at a nearby park and spend time with my mother-in-law, who is staying with us for a bit.

Last week I wrote about Saint Augustine’s idea of ordo amoris, the right ordering of our loves. Specifically, I wrote how he and many others, including C.S. Lewis, believed there was such as right and wrong things to love. In a time where the mantras are “you do you” and “live your truth” and “don’t yuck someone’s yum,” even entertaining the idea that one might be loving something that would be classified as wrong sounds foreign. Even wrong in and of itself. And yet.

As Christians, we believe there is right and there is wrong. There is such a thing as objective truth. There are behaviors that are sinful and behaviors that are good. There are things that aren’t sin and yet they are unhelpful.

Scripture implores us to set our hearts and minds on what is good (Philippians 4:8), that though something could be permissible it does not necessarily mean it is helpful (1 Corinthians 10:23), and to guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23). Our culture might proclaim “you do you,” but Truth demands a different way.

Inherently, we all seem to know this. It used to be common, but perhaps less so, for someone to admit to a “guilty pleasure.” Typically, the person would be referring to a trashy reality show or nutrition-less junk food one enjoys. It is a pleasure one feels a bit guilty of, or at least embarrassed about, because one knows it really isn’t that worthwhile. Perhaps, one even knows it isn’t really good for them.

More and more, the tide of culture seems to pull us to refuting the idea of a “guilty pleasure.” Any thing that brings one pleasure is worthy and good. No one can judge it and no one should feel guilty about it.

This past year I listened to a podcast I really recommend (you can find it here) and the two hosts talked about this idea of loving what is good, true, and beautiful. One good thing they reflected on was nature. Nature is a good thing. It is made by God for us to enjoy and delight in, tend to and revel in.

The hosts said that if we do not like being in nature this is a fault in us, not in nature. C.S. Lewis, in his book The Abolition of Man, would agree. If we do not enjoy the good and true and beautiful then it is not because that particular thing is somehow lacking, but because we are.

To put it simply, based on the example from the podcast: nature isn’t boring. We are, if we don’t find any interest in it.

There are so many things we can claim to not like that are in fact good things. We say we don’t like “healthy food” (by this we mean whole food that is not processed and fake). We are bored by nature or sitting with a good book. We may even say we just aren’t a “people person.” But this means that we are in fact needing to grow in our affection for these good things, not that these good things are not actually good.

All of this begs the question though: what things are true and good and beautiful?

I am going to leave you with this thought to ponder and will write more of my own reflections next week.

and now for some recommendations…

to listen… I’ve been listening to The Gettys quite a bit this past week.

to savor… In Black Mountain, NC there is this little restaurant that I am obsessed with. On the menu is my favorite salad of all time. I tried to re-create it this past week and would recommend it to you. Basically, it is kale, roasted chickpeas tossed in lemon and honey, goat cheese, pickled onions, and a delicious tangy barbecue-esque vinaigrette (I mixed a bit of barbecue sauce with red wine vinegar, and dijon mustard). It is not exactly the same salad but it will do until we make it up there for Anderson’s birthday in a few weeks!

to read aloud… Ada has been enchanted by Madeline’s Rescue this past week. It is so fun to introduce books to her that were beloved to me as a child as well!

to quote… “There is no such thing on earth as an uninteresting subject; the only that can exist is an uninterested person.” -G.K. Chesterton