Pocket Full of Rocks

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One week into my “summer slow-down” and I can already feel its effects. There was an entirely different essay brimming in my brain for this week, but I thought to myself, “No, it’s not a week for another rant-grief-oversharing-lesson learned piece. I think it’s time for a thank you.” So…

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Pocket Full of Rocks
PO Box 186
Watertown, CT 06795

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The pause that refreshes*

Cindy Eastman — Fri, 17 Jul 2026 18:10:25 GMT

Spending some time on an island at the end of a quiet, dirt road sounds good to me.

At first I felt like I was cheating, taking a “break” from this month’s Pocket newsletter. Then I thought, “Wait a minute…I think I’ll call it a reward instead!” I had some things to include this month, but nothing urgent or time-based. I had in mind that I’d ramp up Pocket this summer and get some things organized and reorganized, but it turns out—people are busy. Summer is actually a good time to slow down for a minute. And this newsletter and our programs have been hitting your inbox for more than a year—I think it’s okay to take a little break, right?

(I did it over on my Silver Linings page, too. It’s below if you aren’t familiar with that site or the writing I do there. Spoiler alert: I often write about grief.)

Silver Linings

Summer Slow-Down

2 months ago · 12 likes · 7 comments · Cindy Eastman

So, my pause is not a *popular soft drink nor an attempt to associate myself with it. It’s just what I am calling this break—a pause. I didn’t stop or quit. I didn’t give up. We’ll be back. And if you need to find the info about our mini-grant programs or any other work we’re doing, check out some of the posts below.

And you take a break, too, okay? Reward yourself, you probably deserve it. See you next month. xo

Gratitude Practice*

Cindy Eastman — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 20:43:00 GMT

The journal I “borrowed” and began a year ago today.

In my journal this morning I noticed right away the date I started it: June 17, 2025. It’s not really my journal—it is one Annie bought herself and started five years ago. Unfortunately, she only made one entry (I guess neither one of us is that great at regular journaling) but what she wrote was so touching, I was grateful that she had written it down. Because it was a gratitude journal, there was a numbered list at the ready so the writer could write down what she was grateful for and on February 16, 2021 she was grateful for “seeing Papa last night” which was the day before he died. When I was going through her things and came across this mostly blank book, I knew I’d keep it for myself. And I would try to continue on with it, for her, in the spirit of gratitude that she worked so hard to maintain. I wrote a little bit last year and threw it in my bag when packing to head back to Maine this year. I opened it back up this morning.

I don’t know why Annie was so hard on herself, to make sure she was grateful all the time, so much that she bought herself such a journal. Because, as far as I could tell, she was. She even had a little daily reminder set on her phone, “What are you thankful for?” that popped up around 6pm. And even as the cancer relentlessly attacked her, she continued to be grateful for mostly her son, but also her friends, her family, the nurses who helped her, the small treats that people would drop off and the love that she continued to give and receive throughout her treatment. I imagine it was only in the deepest part of her heart that did she acknowledge the tragic reality of the disease that was taking her life away, but for all who came in contact with her they only knew that smile and her gratitude.

When we sat down to figure out our guiding values for Pocket, we came up with:

Kindness and Empathy
Engagement and Commitment
Responsibility and Citizenship
Environmental Stewardship

and we decided those would show up as:

the Gift Card program
Breast Cancer Advocacy & Support
Scholarships
Conservation and Environmental Outreach

I’ve mentioned before, we’re still finding our way down this path, but I feel good that what we’re doing is something Annie would be happy about. She would like that we’re helping others who are struggling and honoring the community that brought her so much joy. I think she, who tried to stay out of the spotlight more than in it, would even be proud of the work we’re doing, even as she would be doing a much better job than I am of getting it organized! But, not only proud…I think she’d be grateful.

Update on giving:

We have now endowed our Citizenship Scholarship at Annie’s high school alma mater and we awarded our second scholarship this past May to a wonderfully qualified senior who wrote to us that she “will continue to be a devoted part of my community through service and volunteering.”
We have made arrangements for two ASAP! Summer camp scholarships again this year. We love being able to provide these opportunities for kids to attend the camp Annie devoted so much time and energy to when she was at ASAP!
We were lucky to participate in the Give Local campaign again last April and we are very pleased with our final total: $6058
Our Gift Card program has been expanded to include those in the community who are experiencing undue stress and hardships. We offer two types of support—for cancer patients and for general emergencies. There are very few requirements on our application form, so please contact us if you know of someone who could use a bit of help in the form of a $100 gift card.

Use these links: (or email info@loveannie.org)

Emergency Support Request Form Ge

226KB ∙ PDF file

Emergency Support Request Form Bc

173KB ∙ PDF file

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Pocket Full of Rocks
PO Box 186
Watertown, CT 06795

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*From a line Annie wrote in one of her letters, “My 10-year-old son makes fun of me and my positivity. I tell him it takes practice. It’s not something that has always come naturally.”

Little Helper

Cindy Eastman — Sun, 17 May 2026 20:15:16 GMT

If you get my weekly Silver Linings essay, you’ll recognize this picture from the most recent post. To get to Frye Island, where our family has a ~~cottage~~ camp, you have to take a ferry. In the olden days, we used to be able to get out of our cars and ride outside as long as we sat down. We still have to take a ferry to get to the island, but now, we have to stay in our cars. A lot has changed since my parents bought the place in 1984, but not our love for this little island or our “shabby chic” cottage.

There was a lot of work to do after buying a cottage that needed so much work. My parents were eyeing their retirement so their intention was to spend weekends doing whatever upkeep and maintenance they could do themselves. Whenever I was able to come up with the kids, we were always pressed into service. Can’t swing a hammer? Well you can always paint something! I went looking for pictures of Annie doing some of that work, but this one was the only one I came across:

Annie helping Papa build the stairs to the water. Looks like someone did give her a hammer!

I know there were more instances than this difficult-to-make-out photo, but this will have to do for now. (It’s not that easy to go through hundreds of photos that I just want to lose myself in.) In addition to all the odd jobs that Annie and Christopher had to do to help Grandma and Papa, years later Annie also took on the role of General Contractor and Crew when a handyman left the water on after he opened the cottage and flooded half the house. She created proposals, estimates, and “hired” the crew (Tony and Joey) to replace walls and floors and repaint both so we could get it back to renting shape.

My point, I suppose, is that she not only loved the cottage and brought her friends here every year, she helped to make it what it is. She’d pick up little knick-knacks to decorate or contribute essentials that needed updating or just needed to be added. It was when we stopped at Wal-Mart one year on our way to close up for the season and needed to pick up an extra space heater that the now famous “Infrared” incident happened. When she realized that she might not have as much time as she thought/hoped she did, Annie talked to me about maybe spending the month of May or June on the island. It was my intention to totally make that happen for her, but she died three weeks before opening day that year.

A couple of her contributions.

The way Annie always wanted to help others—as a child, as a student, as a young adult, as a mom and as a community member—inspires me to do my best to figure out the best way to make Pocket Full of Rocks work. I think we’re still in the novice stage, trying to figure out how best to put Annie’s dream to help others into action. We’re raising money, are all organized into a solid nonprofit and have the will and the guidance of friends, but we have more to do.

In the next few months we’ll be reaching out to see if you have some thoughts or suggestions about what would really be helpful to provide to our communities, both local and global. I personally am looking forward to see what more we can do to make the world a little kinder, the way Annie would if she were here.

I’ll be in touch. ♥

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Pocket Full of Rocks
PO Box 186
Watertown, CT 06795

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The Kindness of Strangers

Cindy Eastman — Tue, 21 Apr 2026 20:15:33 GMT

One of my all-time favorite pictures of her…when she was working at a nonprofit, of course.

When Annie and I were writing our articles together, we wrote one about the kindness of strangers. It was prompted by the actions of a couple we didn’t know who paid for our dinner one night at a local restaurant. We had been to Rhode Island that day to get Annie’s eyebrows tattooed on her face and we felt we deserved to treat ourselves after an ordeal like that. So we did.

I don’t recall whether or not we’d had a conversation with this couple—they were celebrating at the bar across from our booth and I think it was when they got up to leave, they turned to us and told us it was their anniversary or something. We chatted with them for a minute or two, and as they walked toward the door, Annie pointed out that they had left the husband’s coat hanging off the chair at the bar. They kind of giggled about that and then realized they had also forgotten their take out container, so they retrieved both, said goodnight to us again and left. A few minutes after we finished our meal, our server said, “you might want to consider dessert—that couple paid your bill!” Annie and I just looked at each other stunned.

In the article we wrote afterwards, we noted how wonderful it was to find so many people in the world who are just so darn nice! It was a comforting thought as we were going through the most difficult time of our lives. It continued after Annie died when I was the recipient of so much kindness and generosity in the form of cards and notes and meaningful mementos and thoughtful gestures like sending a meal or popping over with a sweet treat.

And now, as we work to create a legacy for the love and kindness Annie had for her family, friends and community, we’re discovering again how very nice people can be in supporting our efforts. And it’s not just in donations, although the donations are so generous and amazing, but the time and effort people give and ideas they have and the knowledge and guidance we’ve been given. Whew!

As we head into this year’s Give Local campaign, I am less prepared than last year because it’s been a bit of a rough couple of months. For one thing, I had hoped to have a more formal presentation of the work we’ve done and the goals we have set to show donors that we are serious about this. Because we are…very serious. Keeping Annie’s dreams and ideas present for all of us means a cleaner world, a kinder community and helping those in need. And it’s all happening because of nice people like you—people we know and people we don’t know. So we’ll just keep at it.

We won’t let you—or Annie—down.

Additional goals for the Give Local donors.

If you’d like to help you can donate through the Give Local link below or by sharing this post. Or even thinking kind thoughts about us--kindness is one of our things, so if you can do that you’re already helping! xo

Just click here to go to our page

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Out of the box

Cindy Eastman — Fri, 17 Apr 2026 23:03:25 GMT

For over two years now, I’ve walked by this stack of crates on a folding table in the basement of Annie’s new home—a home she didn’t have a say in or get to pick out new paint for. But it’s still her home. She is still here—in so many ways—except the most important one. And then there are the boxes. There is so much of who she was as a human packed away in these boxes…certificates of awards, thank you notes, programs from events—the times I am able to go through them remind me of how much she loved . . . things. She saved everything! It seems like there must be a souvenir or memento from every single moment of her life.

But it’s not because she loved things, really. She loved people and doing things for them and helping others and supporting causes. Her jobs always brought her into contact with organizations that relied on the contributions of others. And she happily and energetically gave of herself to them. Sometimes, to the frustration of her family, she was often heard to say, “I’m sorry I’m late! I just have to drop off/pick up something and I’ll be on my way!”

I have never known what to do with all of these things. Obviously, I am keeping all of it, but how? Where? Why? Recently, when I opened one of the crates and gingerly went through the ephemera and keepsakes that clearly held some meaning for Annie, I decided that each and every bracelet and ticket stub and college t-shirt is a charge for Pocket Full of Rocks to keep going. Each of these representations of Annie’s energy, love and commitment belongs to the causes and people she wanted to help and it’s our job now to make sure that happens. The mementos she chose to keep—and which she probably figured she had years to cherish—are now the pieces of her life that will generate the momentum for the work we have before us.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, she is still helping people. We’re a fledgling nonprofit, but we’ve already established a scholarship and have helped a few folks struggling with cancer treatment. It’s not much, but that’s okay—it’s not like we’re done. Pocket will continue—with your help, always with your help—to find ways to bring awareness, conservation and kindness into this world. And with Annie’s help, we’ll keep doing it.

I’ll leave you with one of the signs that hung in her home, which was pretty much her mantra: Work Hard and Be Nice to People.

Our job couldn’t be simpler.

Next week we are participating in the local community’s annual giving event Give Local. There will be so many ways to contribute, including sharing this link. Look for additional ways next week!

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Pocket Full of Rocks
PO Box 186
Watertown, CT 06795

Good as gold

Cindy Eastman — Wed, 18 Mar 2026 00:33:24 GMT

Golden crocuses - March 17, 2020

This month’s post is going to be a little brief. I’m on vacation and I told myself I’d actually take some time off. But I have a couple of things to share before I head back to the sun and heat of Arizona. (I hear it’s raining in Connecticut. And 30 degrees. Brrr.)

When I start putting notes and ideas about what to write for this monthly newsletter, I like to think of a title to pull it all together. “Good as gold” came up in my mind because I thought it described Annie so well. You know how, after people die, a lot of the more unpleasant characteristics or traits or deeds fall away and people tend to view the deceased through rose-colored lenses. But it’s not like that with Annie…she really was as good as we are say she was in our newsletters and posts. She really did want to help everyone she met and went out of her way to find people and causes to support and promote. The least we can do with Pocket is to try to accomplish even a fraction of what her goals and dreams were for her life.

We are a small little nonprofit, but we have plans to grow our presence in the world in the same way you see a flower find it’s way through a crack in the sidewalk. There is a lot of competition for recognition, funding, donations, etc. but the main goal of our work is to keep Annie’s dreams going the way she would have if she were still here. And of course we won’t have that same radiant smile or indefatigable drive to accomplish it that Annie did, but we’ll do our best. And I know in my heart that she’d be okay with that.

Coming up:

Give Local - Annual fundraising drive

NHS Scholarship night - The Annie Willis Musso Citizenship Scholarship

Volunteer Reception for upcoming projects - (May date to be announced)

She would NOT like this picture, but I think it’s so cute. I was looking for “gold” pictures of her and this came up so what choice did I have but to post it?

We are continuing our program to send gift cards to people in treatment and who might need a little help along the way. We offer limited assistance to breast cancer patients undergoing treatment and experiencing financial hardship in the form of a Visa gift card. Please see the (easy) application below or refer someone to us at info@loveannie.org.

Download application here.

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Pocket Full of Rocks
PO Box 186
Watertown, CT 06795

The Best Laid Plans

Cindy Eastman — Wed, 18 Feb 2026 17:08:22 GMT

The funny thing about my writing about having to change the date for something is that I’m posting about it a day late, too. I try to post the Pocket newsletters on the 17^th of the month—an impulsive idea that I didn’t think through (as evidenced here). I like to keep you all up-to-date on what we’re doing and I figure once a month is enough, yes? Who needs more newsletters than that? (Although I write one called Silver Linings, too, if you do need more newsletters!) Sorry for the shameless plug—I’ll continue . . .

The change-the-date thing is for the Winter Warmer we planned for February 21^sthere in Woodbury, Connecticut. Our plan was to host a reception for folks who might like to see what we’ve been up to and also to get your feedback on where we can focus our energies. Our main goals for Pocket are the same as always: Breast cancer support and awareness, environmental stewardship and kindness. I believe we have contributed to each of our goals over the last year, but we want to do more. And, again, we’d love your feedback. And your help! If donations are out of reach for you, how does helping in a garden sound? Or maybe you have some computer skills? Possibly marketing is your thing and you have a great idea how we can get our words out? We want to hear all of it so please watch this space because we’ll announce the next date for our reception here. And there will be sweet treats . . . of course.

As far as the reason for the delay in this month’s post? February 17^th is the day my dad died and this year is the 5^th anniversary of that date. I just couldn’t get myself to sit down and write a newsletter when my thoughts—and heart—were elsewhere. I’ve had a number of Dad signs lately and the most recent one was a birthday card from him to Annie that fell out of a random folder. “To Annie. Love, Papa.” I decided to put off the writing until today figuring you all wouldn’t mind. Naturally, I dreamed about all of them last night—Annie, Dad, Mom and Susie. I was at the airport and they all arrived together. Just as I always imagine them to be now.

Annie & Papa

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Pocket Full of Rocks
PO Box 186
Watertown, CT 06795

Her 45th birthday

Cindy Eastman — Sat, 17 Jan 2026 20:01:16 GMT

I liked the Christmas lights around her picture so much I found year-round hearts for her.

Well before I became aware of grief and the way it works (or doesn’t, as the case may be), I recall a news story about commemorating JFK’s birthday rather than the day he was shot and killed. I believe it was the National Archives that had something to do with this change in observance in an effort to honor the day he was born (May 29^th) and not dwell on the day of his assassination. If I paid any attention to it at all, I probably thought it was a good idea. Accentuate the positive and all that.

It’s very different, though, when it’s your daughter’s birthday. How do we observe that day?

Last year, we “celebrated” but since it was the first birthday after her death, I don’t recall knowing very clearly what or how we should deal with it. I remember I made a cake, but this year, the thought of baking a cake and celebrating was too much for me. In fact, the whole month of January so far has been a struggle and in the days leading up to January 17^th were like moving slow motion through a weird alternate dimension. (Or maybe it was the Stranger Things binge I was on.)

One idea we had was to have a party for Pocket Full of Rocks—and Annie—on her birthday and invite people in to see what we’re doing with this novice initiative. When we talked about it in December, it seemed like a good idea. But as days went by, I realized that maybe it wouldn’t be such a good idea after all. First of all, the date was soon—would we be able to get everything organized in time? But I think the sadness of her loss was beginning to creep in and at 3am one night I wrote out a text to the board to see how they felt about rescheduling. (I didn’t send it at 3am…I waited until a reasonable hour the next day.) They agreed—because they are a loving and agreeable bunch and we began looking at other dates—which we found—more info about that event coming soon.

As for our family, though, I still wasn’t sure how to go about honoring/celebrating/observing her day. The day she loved so much. Each of us is going through a very different grief process at any given time. I finally told everyone that as much as I’d like to be together, I didn’t think I could make a cake. And once I shared that with everyone, I felt so much differently. I suddenly remembered a favorite pasta dish Annie used to make that I could put together easily and, although we wouldn’t have a cake, we would definitely have sweet treats.

This day will always be a day of remembrance in our family. And every year will probably look very different for each of us. But one thing is for certain, January 17^th is etched on my heart as the day the world was given a most amazing human being. We can only hope to continue her work as she would have and continue to remember her every day.

January 17, 2018

In March 2020, Annie landed her dream job: Development & Sustainability Project Leader for New Morning Market. Of course, if you noticed the date you’ll understand that her position had to quickly pivot to dealing with the pandemic and developing an entirely new way of serving the community. But that’s what New Morning Market does—serve their community. And not just the small rural town where they’re located, but all of Connecticut and more. Plus, they were super helpful and supportive as Annie dealt with all the complications getting diagnosed with cancer brings to a working mom and partner.

An added bonus—through her work at New Morning, Annie met the the talented graphic artist who created the Pocket Full of Rocks logo.

Charlotte Chapman

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We still have some $100 gift cards to share with people undergoing treatment who need a little lift. A bag of groceries, an oil change, a meal out or a pedicure—you get what you need no questions asked. (We do have to have recipients fill out a form, but it’s a short one and you can get it from this link.

Emergency Support Request Form

173KB ∙ PDF file

Christmas cookies

Cindy Eastman — Wed, 17 Dec 2025 16:35:12 GMT

Holiday cocoa cookies—one of Annie’s faves.

When you write frequently about grief and loss—and post it all online and in social media—the algorithm begins to send you similar posts and videos about grief and loss. I can fairly say that I see and hear a lot about grief, so I feel like I can say a few things about it occasionally.

And what I’d like to say right now is that even though we began Pocket Full of Rocks because of grief and loss, I am so grateful it has become a place of giving and kindness. The work we’ve done in just over a year makes me feel grateful to all of you who have contributed in so many ways to help give scholarships, send gift cards and promote breast cancer awareness. And you all have helped spread the word about this work, too—in ways that are so amazing I don’t think I can even comprehend it all sometimes. I mean, I know why I do this, but to know that Annie’s friends and family make it a point to help make Pocket Full of Rocks an organization that helps others is kind of mind-blowing. And I know Annie would feel the same way.

But I want to get back to the grief-and-loss thing. It’s hard all the time to have lost a loved one and the holidays absolutely amplify that feeling. For me, it can be a lot of work to simply get up in the morning and meet the day knowing there will be moments—big and small—that hijack my heart and distract me from my intentions to manage my to-do list. Throw a holiday on top of it and those moments come with twinkly lights and bows and ribbons. It can feel impossible.

So, I wanted to share what I think Annie would say to someone who was feeling under pressure to accomplish a mountain of errands and responsibilities at this time of year. Someone who might not have finished Christmas shopping or decorating or ordering Christmas cards. She’d say, “Don’t.” She’d say something like, “you’ve done plenty!” or “forget the Christmas cards!” During the years of treatment and disease progression and focusing on being the mom Luca needed, Annie shifted her priorities to include more care and patience for herself. And she extended that grace to her family and friends.

In one of our “Can We Talk About Cancer” articles we wrote about making New Year’s resolutions and she said, “[I’m] being mindful of what I put into my body so that I’m not feeding any cancer cells. I instead want to feed my cravings for travel and other experiences. But also, if I want to eat the cookie, I will eat the cookie.” She was constantly working so hard to deal with the relentless cancer that was invading her body, but she also learned to recognize her limitations. Where she once saw limitations as a flaw, I believe she began to embrace them as guard rails to keep her safe and protect her.

So it’s that attitude that I wish for you all this Christmas—embrace the limitations like a warm, comfy blanket you can wrap around yourself when you need a minute. And, also? Eat the cookie(s).

Thanks for reading Pocket Full of Rocks! This post is public so feel free to share it.

Giving Tuesday

Cindy Eastman — Tue, 02 Dec 2025 20:42:32 GMT

Today’s theme (with a photo bomb by Annie’s beloved pup, Charlie).

This is a brief post because it’s Giving Tuesday and I thought it would be a good day to remind everyone about our Gift Card program (details below).

These signs (pictured above) have been showing up all around town lately, maybe a little before Thanksgiving. It’s such a simple statement and for me, and it feels a little bit more like a plea than a directive. With all the turmoil in our country and our world, it’s nearly impossible to avoid feeling stressed.

But how to prevent that? And now we have to open our pockets and give to others, just when we’re feeling like shutting the doors, pulling the shades and tuning it all out right now? Or maybe that’s just me.

Annie would have been one of the first people to have that sign in her yard. This was her personal philosophy—kindness. It is one of the reasons we started this nonprofit and it is totally the reason we are trying to find ways to spread it in her name.

To me, “love your neighbor” is the simplest of actions. It barely requires any action at all but to turn your head, look in a different direction and remember there are others. Neighbors, family and friends. You don’t have to shovel a sidewalk or bake a pie or open your wallet--loving them only takes opening your heart.

If all you can do today is love your neighbor, then that’s enough.

Good job.

We still have some $100 gift cards to share with people undergoing treatment who need a little lift. A bag of groceries, an oil change, a meal out or a pedicure—you get what you need no questions asked. (We do have to have recipients fill out a form, but it’s a short one and you can get it by emailing: info@loveannie.org)

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Click the button to share this newsletter or click on the pocket to donate or share our work.

Click on the pocket to donate:

Thanks for all your love and support. We quite literally can’t do any of this work without you.

The Little Things

Cindy Eastman — Tue, 18 Nov 2025 01:02:23 GMT

One of Annie’s friends (and our invaluable counsel) Chloé brought the phenomenon of “pebbling” to my attention last year. I think it was after we decided to refer to the eventual nonprofit we were imagining as “Pocket Full of Rocks” after the description Annie wrote in her journal. It was going to be the title of her book, but I appropriated it for the nonprofit because it felt like a perfect way to describe what we wanted to do. (I’ll have to think of another title for her book, because there is going to be a book!)

Anyway, as a reminder, here’s what Annie wrote:

“I had always figured if, or when, I ever wrote a book, much of it would be focused on motherhood and the title would be “pocket full of rocks” because of the phenomenon of adorable small children and their well meaning collections of beautiful rocks and pebbles that were picked “just for you, mom.” Those adorable pebbles have filled cup holders in my car, vases on our bookshelves, and, of course, many of my pockets.
But as I thought about what my story really is, it wasn’t just about motherhood. Sure, a lot of that may come up here. But more about womanhood, and some of the hits it takes, well mine at least. And in between these hits, there are moments, some small and some big, that I’ve tucked aside. They make me smile and reflect. Who knew?

And then Chloé heard about “pebbling” and sent me some memes and everything just all started to make sense about what we wanted to do, how we could go about doing it and the impact we hoped for.

For Annie, friendship and kindness was all about the little things—the small gestures, the tiny gifts, the unexpected quick visits—the pebbles of life. In the last year since Pocket Full of Rocks became official—and it has just been a year—we’ve wanted to continue Annie’s way of making a difference in those small ways. And we’re focusing on a few of the causes that were important to her: breast cancer support, conservation awareness and kindness.

So, that is our goal—to continue pebbling in her name to the people and causes that she would support if she were still here. One of the ways we’re doing that is to provide $100 gift cards to those going through treatment for breast cancer—and we have more to share. If you or someone you know could benefit from such a “pebble”, please don’t hesitate to contact us or use the form below. Especially these days with the economy in such bad shape and cuts to assistance—every little bit helps. So please let us know how we can do that. Use this link:

Emergency Support Request Form

Emergency Support Request Form

173KB ∙ PDF file

Refer someone to us or ask questions at info@loveannie.org.

Thank you all so much for being out there and showing your support—your pebbles—to us as we figure out how to do this every day without Annie. Fortunately, she’s left a clear path and lots of her own pebbles to show us the way.

They’re everywhere! :)

Want to help in other ways?

Click the button to share this newsletter or click on the pocket to donate or share our work.

Thanks for all your love and support. We quite literally can’t do any of this work without you.

More about penguins and pebbling

These are the days I will remember.

Cindy Eastman — Fri, 17 Oct 2025 20:38:54 GMT

Circa 1986 We were all babies then.

When I thought, “oh, I’ll post the newsletter on the 17^th!” I didn’t think through all the 17s that would be coming up. First—Annie’s birthday, which is why I chose the 17^th in the first place because she loved her birthday so much.

But then other 17s showed up and this month’s is another special 17 in our family—Annie’s brother Christopher’s birthday. Annie was five and a half when Christopher was born and took to being a big sister like she had been waiting all her life to be one. Of course, Christopher may have different memories, but I remember her to be a loving big sister, sometimes a teasing one, often a protective one, but always a responsible one. When I divorced their dad and had to live as a single parent, I consciously decided to make sure Annie didn’t assume the role of “fill-in parent” but she did it anyway. There were very few people I trusted to take care of my children and I didn’t go out much but when I had to work and Annie was with Christopher, there was no question he was in good hands. I’m using her voice via this newsletter this month to wish Christopher a very happy birthday and a ton of happiness and success in the coming year. I know she’d be okay with that. In fact, I won’t be surprised if I “hear” from her in some way affirming it!

When I send out this newsletter each month, it is for the purpose of updating our work for those of you who have generously donated to further the causes Annie loved and supported. The three pillars of focus in our strategic plan are Breast Cancer Awareness, Environmental Stewardship and Kindness. When the board met recently, we decided that one way we could prop up those pillars was to highlight some of the work Annie had done herself for those causes.

One of the ways that Annie committed to environmental stewardship was to be active in the Pomperaug River Watershed Coalition. She not only volunteered for many of their events, but served on their board as well, stepping down only because the cancer had become aggressive and progressed to the point of having to decline all the activities she loved. So this month we’d like to shout out the Pomperaug River Watershed Coalition. Their mission is to, “protect, sustain, and restore the water resources of the Pomperaug Watershed through community engagement, education, advocacy, and science-based action.”

The piece that artist Stacey Dillard created in memory of Annie is still available for exhibit or sale. Stacey is donating a portion of the proceeds to Pocket Full of Rocks. Contact Stacey for more information.

We still have some $100 gift cards to share with people undergoing treatment who need a little lift. A bag of groceries, an oil change, a meal out or a pedicure—you get what you need no questions asked. We do have to have recipients fill out a form, but it’s a short one and you can get it from this link:

Emergency Support Request Form

173KB ∙ PDF file

Refer someone to us or ask questions at info@loveannie.org.

Want to help in other ways?

Click the button to share this newsletter or click on the pocket to donate or share our work.

Thanks for all your love and support. We quite literally can’t do any of this work without you.

She Loved Paris

Cindy Eastman — Wed, 17 Sep 2025 20:20:10 GMT

Photo credit: Christina Musso

From Annie’s notes: Sat, Jul 1, 2023, 5:47 PM

“The things I have learned in the past year, and continue to learn . . .

And while this past year has certainly been marked with sadness and pain, it has also been filled with laughter and love and adventure. Per the age-old cliche, a terminal illness reminds you to LIVE. Disney World…check. Never been to Paris? Let’s do it! If not now, when? What if there isn’t a next year for me? Instead of waiting for something awful to happen, I have to try and enjoy life and just as the song told me so many years ago, remember the love, measure in love.

Measure your year in seasons of love ♥️”

Almost two years ago, on September 19th, Angelo and I dropped Annie off at Newark to fly to Paris. It was her dream trip and although it had to be modified to accommodate the clinical trial she was in, per the statement above, she went. I was envious of course, but grateful that her travel companion was world-traveler extraordinaire, sister-in-law Christina. After a few days in Paris, they took the train to London and hit the high spots there, like dinner at the Swan and “As You Like It” at the Globe. On her last night, she texted me that she was feeling some discomfort around her liver, but she contacted her nurse who recommended ibuprofen. It helped.

When Annie returned, her treatment schedule started back up, but on the first day back, she was immediately sent across the street to Yale Hospital because her “numbers” were off the charts. We know now that it was the beginning of weekly trips to Yale, calls to the doctor and wildly escalating progression of the cancer resulting in her death six months later. I don’t know if she ever thought about the time left she had (although she kind of suggested it in her note above) but Annie moved through the last months of her life as if that information had no bearing on how she lived. And loved. She referred to that in her note, too. She was going to measure the seasons of love. How could we not honor that kind of strength and courage?

Well, that’s our goal, anyway. To measure her life in love. We have lots of projects that we’ve started, completed and that are ongoing. We’re a nonprofit, so of course we’re always fundraising, but just so you know where the money is going to, here are a few things: (sorry if I’m repetitive . . .)

The Citizenship Scholarship at her high school
The ASAP summer camp scholarship
The Emergency Gift Card program
and others coming down the road.

And don’t forget the amazing art show by her friend Stace Dillard at the Judy Black Memorial Park and Gardens.

Thank you all for your wonderful support of our efforts to keep Annie’s dreams going. She might be embarrassed by all the attention I’m shining at her through these newsletters and posts, but I know she’d be very happy that because of her, others are getting help or assistance or support.

(I don’t think she’d mind if I shared a few of the photos she took on her trip. She had an incredibly artistic eye and these are only a few. But I wanted to share a little bit about what her trip was like through her eyes.)

We have started a small program in order to send gift cards to people in treatment and who might need a little help along the way. We can now offer limited assistance to breast cancer patients undergoing treatment and experiencing financial hardship in the form of a Visa gift card. Please see the (easy) application below or refer someone to us at info@loveannie.org.

Emergency Support Request Form

173KB ∙ PDF file

Want to help in other ways?

Click the button to share this newsletter or click on the pocket to donate or share our work. Thank you.

Pocket Full of Rocks
PO Box 186
Watertown, CT 06795

PS: The website is up! Kind of—it needs work, but at least we have a spot on the internet! You should still follow this newsletter and our Insta account for updates until I either get better at webbing or find a helper!

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That's What Friends Are For

Cindy Eastman — Sun, 17 Aug 2025 18:27:57 GMT

“en haut” 36 x 36, mixed media, collage

I don’t know if I’ve said this enough—and there’s probably not enough time in the world to do so anyway—but Annie has the best friends. If it weren’t for them I wouldn’t have made it through this last year without her. I’m not even exaggerating—they showed up, they took my calls, kept me company and responded to my texts. They made Annie’s celebration of life happen and they continue to check in with me to see how I’m doing. Some of them have agreed to serve on the board of Pocket Full of Rocks and others make sure I’m crossing my Ts and dotting my Is as we work towards making Pocket a lasting legacy for Annie’s dreams and kindness. (More on that below!)

And one friend, Stacey Leigh Procopio-Dillard, is an artist who is having her first solo art show this month. One of her pieces (pictured above) was created in Annie’s honor and when it’s sold, a portion of the proceeds will be donated to Pocket Full of Rocks. Stacey could have focused on her first show and all that such an event entails, but she decided to include this extra element to it. But this is what I’ve come to know about all of Annie’s friends—they take on these acts and responsibilities as if they were nothing. Like creating art, giving their time, planting gardens, keeping an eye on Luca, and a million other things that make our days much easier to bear.

Of course, Annie would be humbled by it all. She wasn’t one for the spotlight and would just as soon turn it towards others who might need assistance themselves. As a fledgling nonprofit, we’re still looking for the ways we will fit in the huge nonprofit world and it’s important to us to deliver the kind of help Annie would provide herself.

One of the things that she really appreciated during her cancer treatment were the gift cards that covered a meal out, a grocery store trip, a medical bill. They were small gifts, but they arrived just when something like that was needed. A couple of months ago, a friend contacted me to find out if we provided any kind of service like that, and at the time, we didn’t. But a text to the board (remember? her friends*) about pulling something together in order to provide such an assistance resulted in our purchasing Visa gift cards that we could send out if we were contacted about someone in need. Our attorney (another Annie friend) made sure we were above board and legal. And then we sent one out.

Being able to address a need like that is definitely one of our goals. We can now offer limited assistance to breast cancer patients undergoing treatment and experiencing financial hardship in the form of a Visa gift card. Spreading kindness one pebble at a time. And it is all being accomplished because of Annie’s friends.

I don’t know if that’s what friends are for, but that’s what Annie’s friends do.

(*Tony is on the board, too! Want to be sure to give him credit!)

Follow Stacey on Instagram and Facebook and visit the exhibit at Judy Black Memorial Park and Gardens

For more information on the limited assistance Visa cards and for an application click this button:

Email for more info

Want to help in other ways?

Click the button to share this newsletter or click on the pocket to donate or share our work. Thank you.

Pocket Full of Rocks
PO Box 186
Watertown, CT 06795

PS: The website is still down because I’m apparently terrible at learning new tricks. Keep an eye on this newsletter for updates and follow us on Instagram for any other newsy tidbits or pictures.

Make a list!

Cindy Eastman — Thu, 17 Jul 2025 20:04:15 GMT

She loved the journals with the little bird atop the books.

“Make a list!” The phrase reverberated throughout my childhood to address everything from packing for school to deciding on a car to buy, so naturally it echoed through my kids’ childhood, too. First from my dad, then enthusiastically adopted by my mom, and then from me, the dogma landed squarely in Annie’s consciousness so deeply it was practically one of her own rules to live by. A list of rules, if you will.

After we created this nonprofit and chose the title Annie was using for her memoir, we came across a children’s book called Pocket Full of Rocks. Of course, Annie never knew about it because it was published after she died, but when I looked up the author, she had several other books. One of them was titled, “Annie’s Life in Lists.” Incredible! I felt affirmed that we were on the right track in creating this legacy for her.

Annie made lists for everything. One thing I always thought was so funny was that she would make out the menu for the week’s dinners and then make her shopping list from that. Which is what my mom used to do. Not me—I was a dinner/grocery pantser. Annie did not learn economical and organized meal planning from me. Her lists filled journals and notebooks and Google docs. They detailed her preparations for treatment and surgery, getting Luca ready for school and even a playlist for her celebration of life.

I’m using these lists, and her journals and notebooks, to fill in the gaps in the memoir she started. They go back to junior high and, while they’re not easy to read, I am absorbing every word. She was such a strong writer and she had only just begun getting some recognition for that. I think it convinced her that she could take on a project like a memoir and she worked on it for as long as she could. I began my work on it this summer after months of putting it off. I’m not sure if I can describe what it’s like—it’s so hard to do, but work I want to take on and be fully present for. Even though I cry through most of my reading and writing it.

The preface is written.

So, as not to leave you on such a downer note, I will instead share this: Annie’s Happiness Touchstones list. I used this list to plan her celebration of life last year and I shared it with the gathered family and friends. And now I’m going to share it with you. If you find something on the list that makes you happy, by all means borrow it and start your own list. Nothing would make Annie happier than knowing she inspired someone to start a list!

Want to help?

Click the pocket below or use the mailing address below to donate or share our work by sharing this newsletter. And thank you.

Pocket Full of Rocks
PO Box 186
Watertown, CT 06795

Help Cindy build a website!

PS: No, I have NOT updated the website because I’m a slacker and every time I think, “Oh, I’ll work on the website!” I get distracted and go find another task to do. Because it’s daunting! If you have any helpful suggestions other than hire a super expensive computer geek to do it, please let me know!

Another reason

Cindy Eastman — Wed, 18 Jun 2025 11:36:00 GMT

He really does love it here.

Last month’s “Why am I doing this?” post answered the big question for creating Pocket—mostly for Annie and her legacy of helping people. And a little bit for me, because it helps me to focus on keeping that work going. But here’s another reason: Luca. He’s not all that involved in the work we’re doing, he’s 13—he’s mostly interested in what every other teenager is interested in and it’s definitely NOT what his Gramma spends her time working on. He knows about Pocket, of course, and makes positive noises when I tell him the latest thing we’re up to, but there is a limit to his interest in it. Which is fine, even though he is another reason that I am determined to create some lasting Annie spaces in the world.

It’s the reason I missed my goal to post this newsletter on the 17^th of the month—I brought Luca with me to Maine for a couple of days before I begin my self-imposed three-week retreat. And while looking after a 13-year-old is easier than when he was 8 or 11, it’s still a 24/7 responsibility. He still needs regular meals, some monitoring of activities and, well, parenting.

I’ve been laser-focused on Luca and his grief and his behavior and his needs without trying to be annoying about it. There is no way I’m going to let so much as a grimace go by without making sure he’s not in some kind of emotional pain about not having his mom around anymore for the things she should be here for. But his grief is not my grief and I have to be very careful not to project mine onto him. But I have to tell you, it’s not easy. Some of the hardest times I’ve had are when he’s been sad or frustrated or just plain missing his mom. I confess, sometimes I make up that he’s grieving or sad, when he’s just in his own head about something. Like when I see him fishing, a time he tells me that he feels relaxed and peaceful, I wonder if he’s missing Annie. Because I sure do. I see him through her eyes and it just about destroys me. But that’s not for him to know.

One of the projects I brought with me to work on is Annie’s memoir. She started it after her diagnosis and was about a third of the way through when she died. That’s where the name of the organization came from—the title she was thinking about for her book. She thought A Pocket Full of Rocks because of “the phenomenon of adorable small children and their well-meaning collections of beautiful rocks and pebbles that were picked ‘just for you, mom.’” I have some ideas of how to go forward with it and I’ll spend some time on that this summer.

Meanwhile, Luca and I still haven’t been to the little store for ice-cream or off island to buy more fishing supplies. (Is it supplies? Or is it all “tackle”?) I wanted to get this out before it got too late, and now it’s done for this month. So that’s all for now, from Maine, at the edge of the lake on the island where Annie’s tree grows and her son fishes and that’s reason enough for me.

Another update: We finalized the scholarship to the arts summer camp that the organization Annie worked for held. She acted as kind of the camp mom (of course) and gave kids rides to and from the program, kept an extra first aid kit with organic lollipops, brought extra granola bars and just generally made sure the kids were okay. We’re very happy to make it possible for a couple more kids to attend this year.

Want to help?

Click the pocket or use the mailing address below to donate or share our work and this newsletter. And thank you.

Pocket Full of Rocks
PO Box 186
Watertown, CT 06795

PS: The website is still down because I’m still trying to be a webmaster and I’ve only gotten to apprentice as yet. Keep an eye on this newsletter for updates and follow us on Instagram for any other newsy tidbits or pictures.

Why am I doing this?

Cindy Eastman — Sun, 18 May 2025 00:05:36 GMT

I got to see her tree in Maine this weekend and it’s doing beautifully.

“For Annie” is the quick answer—the response I always give. And in my heart, I believe that to be true, even though—as I’ve mentioned—I imagine her giving me “that look” for making such a big deal about her.

I know the look well . . . :)

But it’s for me too…I find that the days I am working on her website or meeting with our board or researching cancer programs to contact and support are some of my best days since I lost her. My days are not all dark and joyless, but I live in a different world now and while I accept that this to be so, I don’t have to always like it. So, working on what Annie thought was important is something I like to do. Annie was a helper—she always helped everyone. There’s a story about the day she died that I don’t think I’ve shared before because sometimes I get angry when I recall it, but it also embodies Annie’s nature completely.

At some point, while she was still in the ER and doctors and staff were in and out and it was so busy and confusing and scary, one of the doctors said they’d like to do this particular procedure. They wanted to put in a “central line” to help stabilize her. Or something like that. We agreed and almost immediately, we were asked to leave her cubicle and what seemed like a dozen people swarmed in after us and they drew the curtains. It was after that procedure that she became unresponsive to us and she was sent to ICU. I started to wonder why so many people had to be in there? Was it really a necessary procedure or was it just a good “teaching opportunity? I worked myself up pretty good about it, thinking I should look into it or ask someone about it. Until I realized—no, I knew--it’s not how Annie would have looked at it. If it had been an opportunity to teach other doctors, she would have been grateful that she was able to provide a way for people to learn from what she was going through. She always felt that way. She wrote about it herself in one of the articles we wrote together—that if participating in a trial would help make treatment available for others, then she was all in.

(Read Cancer on Trial)

And she’s still doing it. Annie is still helping people. A couple of weeks ago, I awarded a scholarship to a student at her old high school’s awards night and, because of the overwhelming response to our Give Local campaign, we are able to endow it so that it is awarded every year. We’re going to provide a scholarship to an arts camp this summer that is run by an organization Annie used to work for. Plus, we are working on a bunch more projects and ideas that will go towards helping people who are underserved or suffering through cancer or need some kindness.

I was tracking the donations all day on my computer…astounded at each one.

And once again, we couldn’t do it without any of you—all your support is important and furthers our ability to make these projects happen at all. Whether you’re a financial donor, a subscriber, a friend sharing our posts or simply clicking the little heart at the end of these newsletters, it all helps. Every single bit of it.

Also, if you know of an organization or person who would benefit from what we hope to do, please don’t hesitate to leave a comment below or send us a message privately. We are definitely in the stage of gathering all our resources, so that would be a good contribution, too. Because if I know anything, I know I don’t do any of this alone. xo

PS: The website will be down for a bit—I am changing platforms which means a learning curve for me! I’ll let you all know via this newsletter when it’s up again or you can follow us on Instagram and I’ll probably share it there, too!

https://www.givelocalccf.org/organizations/pocket-full-of-rocks-inc

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Give Local

Cindy Eastman — Sat, 26 Apr 2025 17:07:26 GMT

To our Pocket Full of Rocks Family,

We’re called “Pocket Full of Rocks” from a journal entry Annie wrote about what you end up with when a child gives the gift of a tiny pebble as if it was the most precious gift of all. And, at that moment, it is. So you accept all of them. We’ve borrowed it for this organization because it crystalizes the kind of work Annie wanted to do in the world—spread kindness one pebble at a time. Our pebbles will be distributed to the causes Annie was passionate about--the environment, breast cancer advocacy and looking out for the underserved with kindness. She felt strongly about giving back to her community whether that community was her local, national or global one.

We're new at this...and we have a lot to learn and we’re kind of excited that we get to participate in our first Give Local to help meet our goals. And we have so many! We’ve already established a Citizenship scholarship at her high school alma mater and we’re working with another local nonprofit to help fund a scholarship for their summer camp. We have a lot to do, but we’re ready to do it.

Give Local April 29 - 30

In pursuit of these goals, we are participating in the Connecticut Community Foundation Give Local campaign from April 29 - 30. All donations make a difference. Please consider donating any amount here: https://www.givelocalccf.org/organizations/pocket-full-of-rocks-inc

Bonus Prizes

Each unique individual who contributes has the potential to earn us bonus funds, and donating at specific times can increase our chances of winning a prize.

Here are two ways you may help:

1) Click the Button to "Fundraise" for Pocket Full of Rocks. You can watch how your team does while competing against other teams and see how Pocket does on the LeaderBoard.

2) Organize friends and family and prepare them to donate between 10 am-7 pm on Tuesday, April 29th, if possible. On the day of the event, call or text them to remind them to make their donation. The Litchfield County organization with the most unique individual donors during this time can win a bonus prize of $1000.

And check out this link for other prizes that nonprofits can win to increase their funding - https://www.givelocalccf.org/prizes

Why you’re here . . .

We know that if you’re receiving this email, you’ve probably already made a generous donation and for that, we’re exceedingly grateful. But you can still help! Please feel free to forward this email or share our links on social media—and follow us on social media! (We’re on Instagram) Even getting more people to sign up for this newsletter helps, as it allows us to reach more people and let them know about Annie’s work.

Also, although I promised a monthly newsletter, there may be a couple more in the next week as we prepare for the actual days of Give Local giving. Then we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming—and next month I look forward to letting you know how successful we were!

Thanks…as always.

In less than a year . . .

Cindy Eastman — Fri, 18 Apr 2025 01:17:39 GMT

Annie’s beloved pup, Charlie, who misses her terribly. (She thought it would be a good idea to have a picture of her for this post.)

Believe it or not, and mostly because of Annie’s friends, there is a nonprofit organization in Annie’s name that is poised to continue the work that Annie was so dedicated to in her life.

How in the world could this happen?

I’m not even really sure, but one thing I do know is that none of this would have happened without the strength and love from Annie’s friends. We launched Pocket Full of Rocks, Inc. about six months ago and trust me when I say I had no idea what I was doing. But because Annie knew such amazing people, they guided me in creating a place where we could focus on the concerns that were important to Annie and hopefully make a difference to those who were impacted by such conditions.

Like breast cancer, for one. During the brief few years that Annie was diagnosed, treated and managed her particular diagnosis, she was the recipient of support and love and resources that energized her. Even as the cancer progressed, she knew how much that kind of help made it possible to continue to be present in her life as a mom, wife, friend and member of a community.

If she were here today, she would want to return that love to others in need of it. Which is the goal of Pocket Full of Rocks, Inc. Besides cancer, she looked out for the underserved, our environment, and just people in general.

I sometimes wonder what she’d think of all this. Sometimes I think she’d roll her eyes and say, “Oh, mom…enough. No one wants to hear my story.” But other times I think she’d be really excited to be a part of something that would help others. Above all, Annie wanted people to feel safe, included, and loved.

This April 2nd was a year since Annie died. A part of me still can’t believe she had cancer, much less that it finally took her life. But being able to put some effort into promoting the causes that she was passionate about feels good to me. With the help of—honestly—some truly amazing people—we are going to see what we can do to provide the kind of help and support that Annie would be doing if she was still here.

And, this month, we have a little extra help to do it. We’ve joined the Give Local campaign that helps bring attention to local nonprofits. There are going to be lots of ways to support our work during this 36-hour campaign and if you want to know more, I’ve put some links below. If you’re already a donor—first of all—thank you! You are already helping us reach our goals. So, feel free to share our site or our mission or our campaign.

And, as always, thank you. For your interest, your support, and love. We literally couldn’t do any of this without you.