But anyone who has spent time in spiritual communities online or offline knows there is a shadow side to this unravelling. We live in an era where the language of the sacred is constantly colliding with the chaos of the digital age and profiting off of people’s struggles. Lives are lived out loud on livestreams, algorithms reward extreme emotional spikes, and trauma is frequently dressed up in the vestments of esoteric terminology.

I’m sure we’ve all seen the individuals who took mushrooms once and suddenly they’re awakened and selling a course on connecting with your soul out there or courses on “raising your frequency”, but one thing that many of us saw unfortunately more recently was Perez Hilton harming himself on TikTok under the guise of a demon coming after him. What people on the internet didn’t realise is that he had sepsis a few months prior and there is such thing as sepsis psychosis recorded in the medical world. It can spur on hallucinations and self-harming thoughts. I’ll get back to who he is in a second, but I’ve been really thinking about this question since the incident:

What is the difference between a genuine spiritual awakening and a psychological crisis masquerading as one? And how can we look at public figures like Perez Hilton with both discernment and profound human grace?

The Perez Hilton Incident

So who is Perez Hilton?

Well, he’s a public figure. For decades, Perez was known as a high-profile fixture of internet culture, a master of sensationalism who built a massive digital empire on celebrity gossip and controversy.

He was well known back in the day in the Britney, Paris Hilton era, etc., for tearing down celebrities on his blog. He was a pretty nasty person online, clearly desperately seeking attention and he found that through being a character that many celebrities feared. He would draw on images and hound celebrities non-stop, even to the point where they would have breakdowns or go to rehab and he would continue to bully.

But following a harrowing health crisis involving a severe hospital battle with sepsis and subsequent medical scares, his public life took a sharp, highly visible turn.

Suddenly, his platform shifted away from pop culture toward intense declarations of faith, tearful expressions of remorse, and profound claims of experiencing direct spiritual phenomena. For some observers online, this transformation was viewed with mockery, while religious communities embraced it as a powerful redemption story. But for those watching with psychological nuance, it evoked deep concern. Concerns that tragically culminated when a distressing livestream captured a severe mental health crisis and subsequent emergency hospitalisation. The footage included him dragging a knife over and over on his body and even his face, he was naked and covered in his own blood making all kinds of strange noises about how he is worthless, and “f*ck you TikTok”, while people watched in horror trying to notify police, etc. The video is haunting.

When someone who has spent a lifetime in the high-stress fishbowl of digital fame crashes into severe physical trauma, the psyche undergoes a massive tectonic shock. The desperate craving for safety, forgiveness, and absolute meaning is entirely human. But when that raw vulnerability collides with religious fervour and livestream algorithms, the line between healing and a mental health emergency blurs completely.

It also made me think about my training in Reiki and how we are advised not to carry out a reiki treatment on anyone who doesn’t appear to have a grasp on the 3D world they are in, such as someone experiencing schizophrenia or someone on drugs.

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The Anatomy of an Awakening: Expansion vs. Fragmentation

To understand what happens in these moments, we have to look at what actually happens to the self during two very different experiences.

A true spiritual awakening is fundamentally integrative. Whether it happens quietly through years of meditation or unexpectedly through a brush with mortality, an awakening ultimately leaves a person more grounded, more humble, and more capable of love. It is an expansion of awareness. The person may experience deep grief or radical life changes, but an inner anchor remains intact.

In contrast, spiritual psychosis is characterised by fragmentation. Instead of the ego expanding to embrace a larger reality, the ego shatters, leaving the person flooded with psychic material they cannot process, integrate, or reality-test.

The Core Distinction: An awakening clarifies your relationship with reality and deepens your humility. Psychosis divorces you from shared reality, erecting rigid, unshakeable delusions that isolate you behind a wall of fear or grandiosity.

When someone experiences psychosis wrapped in spiritual language, they often believe they possess exclusive cosmic secrets or are the center of cosmic warfare. Crucially, their nervous system is not at peace; it is trapped in a state of high-alert alarm.

Honoring the Unseen While Respecting Our Limits

When we step into these conversations, it is vital to approach them with deep humility. We cannot possibly know the full interior landscape of another human being’s experience. Who are we to definitively declare whether someone’s extraordinary encounters or perceived astral entities are “real” or not? Especially if you’re clairvoyant or clairaudient and you can actually see or hear spirits and then verify who they are afterwards. The unseen dimensions of consciousness are vast, and many spiritually sensitive people sincerely believe in thought forms, spirits, astral beings, or energetic attachments that can influence our energy fields. Myself included.

At the same time, we must never discard the 3D reality we live in or the intricate mechanics of our own subconscious minds. Our subconscious is constantly working behind the scenes, processing data, storing old fears, and feeding us information all day long. Often, subtle anxieties bubble up from the subconscious without us even realising it, causing our thoughts to spiral.

When we immediately attribute every internal spiral, intrusive thought, or dark mood entirely to external astral entities, we risk bypassing the physical reality right in front of us. Sometimes a spiralling mind isn’t a psychic attack from the cosmos; it’s an exhausted nervous system, an unresolved trauma loop, or a chemical imbalance asking for grounded, human tending.

While we cannot validate or invalidate the objective reality of another person’s unseen experiences, we can work within reliable parameters, chief among them being our nervous system. We can learn to recognise the tangible signs of when a body and mind are simply not okay.

When a nervous system is stuck in chronic threat mode and failing to find peace, it broadcasts clear signals:

• Feeling “wired but tired”: Exhausted to the core, yet entirely unable to relax, drop into stillness, or achieve restorative sleep.

• Hyper-vigilance and a constant sense of being on edge: Feeling braced for danger even when completely safe, or startling easily at normal environmental stimuli (as an empath, this happens to me a lot especially with sirens, but I have learnt to regulate myself back down). Normally you can see someone feels like a live wire next to you, a little erratic or skittish.

• Disproportionate emotional spikes: Small stressors or everyday friction triggering massive panic, intense irritability, or sudden emotional flooding because the brain’s baseline regulatory circuits are offline.

• Persistent cognitive scattering: Brain fog, memory slips, and an inability to focus because the brain is devoting all its energy to survival.

• Physical holding patterns: Chronic muscle tension, a clenched jaw, tight shoulders, shallow breathing, or sudden digestive flare-ups as the body stores unexpressed stress.

When a person exhibits these signs, coupled with terror, paranoia, or detachment from shared everyday reality, the specific flavour of the spiritual narrative matters less than the urgent need to stabilise the nervous system and bring them back to safety. True spiritual maturity means holding a dual awareness. We can acknowledge the unseen while fiercely respecting the tangible, physical markers of health and distress.

When we are in deep psychological agony, our brains look for the fastest possible exit hatch. Spirituality can sometimes become a sophisticated bypass mechanism. It feels noble to say, “I don’t need my doctor, I have my faith, or I have my psychic friend.” But it often masks a deeper fear, specifically the terror of facing the raw, biochemical reality of a nervous system that is crying out for stabilisation. Prayer and ritual can soothe a spirit, but they cannot safely recalibrate complex neurochemistry on their own. True holistic healing means recognising that the soul, the brain, and 3D medical care are deeply intertwined partners.

A Quick Guide to Discernment

How do we distinguish between someone stepping into profound spiritual depth and someone experiencing a mental health emergency that requires professional medical care?

1. The State of the Nervous System

• Spiritual Awakening: Increasingly calm, peaceful, and grounded over time.

• Spiritual Psychosis: Hyper-aroused, erratic, fearful, frantic, or manic.

2. Relationship to Others and Community

• Spiritual Awakening: Fosters empathy, personal accountability, and healthy human connection.

• Spiritual Psychosis: Leads to isolation, intense paranoia, or rigid, proselytising dogma.

3. Grounding and Reality Testing

• Spiritual Awakening: Maintains daily functioning and the ability to laugh at oneself or keep a sense of perspective.

• Spiritual Psychosis: Inflexible, grandiose, or persecutory delusions. An inability to accept basic ground-level facts or shared reality.

Spiritualising Our Mental Health Crisis

The tragedy of our current cultural moment is that we often weaponise spirituality as a substitute for actual healthcare. When a celebrity like Perez Hilton or a friend in our personal life begins showing signs of severe psychological distress, our culture too often slaps a romantic label on it. We call it spiritual warfare, an ascension symptom, or finding God.

While faith and spiritual practices can be profoundly healing, esotericism can also act as lighter fluid on an already unstable mind, potentially enabling a bypass of the support that is actually needed from professional medical help. When someone is losing their grip on reality, handing them a framework of invisible entities and divine chosen-ness does not heal them; it validates ungrounded thoughts with a holy stamp of approval.

We owe it to the people in our lives navigating these painful unravellings to offer something better than digital voyeurism or cold clinical dismissal. We need a culture that can simultaneously hold two truths:

• First, that the human soul hungers for redemption, meaning, and connection to the divine, especially after surviving deep trauma.

• Second, that the brain is a physical organ that can fracture and burn out under extreme stress, and that true healing requires respecting medical science just as much as sacred mystery.

Let us root for healing wherever we find it, but let us also remember that we are human beings. We have bodies and biological systems that function to help us anchor and navigate this physical dimension together. Tending to our physical vessels and seeking grounded care is just as sacred as any spiritual guidance we seek beyond the veil.

For more, you can also watch this Ted Talk here:

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The Inter-Dimensional Visit

As I lay in bed, I set the intention to connect with my higher self in my dreams and to surrender to any messages I needed to receive. I wanted to try something I had seen people suggest: asking your higher self to connect you to your star family. So, I did exactly that, just to see what would happen.

What surprised me was that I was immediately in what felt like a lucid dream instead of having a deep sleep first. I woke up an hour after this event took place.

The scenery was quite strange. I was lying down in what appeared or felt like a transparent object, looking at a sky filled with grey clouds. I thought to myself that this was interesting, but I knew I was having a lucid dream. I felt like a friend of mine was next to me. I could not see her, but I was trying to talk to her. I felt like I was strapped in, which was strange for a lucid dream. Normally I am able to move freely, and it did not feel like sleep paralysis. It felt specifically like my arms were held down, yet I was happy to be there.

Suddenly, I went into a second lucid dream within the first. I was in New York, where my husband was traveling at the time. I was exploring, walking around a city in my head, having conversations with strangers. My husband turned to me and said he wanted to move there. As I said, “Darling, we already talked about this, it just would not be feasible for us,” I was suddenly brought back into the transparent object.

It appeared as though there were newspapers flying around in the sky, but they were disturbed by a powerful ripple of sound waves. I could hear a deep humming sound and thought to myself, “Oh my goodness, I am actually having an out-of-body experience.” It felt as though my consciousness was hijacked for this experience. It was not a bad feeling, but I instinctively knew that information was coming.

I saw a transparent, round object above me with sound waves emanating from it, and my body began to vibrate intensely. I heard what sounded like a scanning noise. The best way I could describe it was like elephants having fun underwater. I kept thinking it was so cool yet so strange, to the point where the vibrations were so loud that I could no longer hear my own thoughts.

The craft moved on, and I was back in my body in my bed. I continued vibrating for hours afterward, especially my hands. My ears rang with that deep hum intermittently throughout the rest of the day.

What happened to me? Was that my star family? Why was it cloaked? I had so many questions, but I knew that if anything important was given to me, I would find out in a few days.

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The Message

About three nights later, something strange occurred. I am familiar with the term “download,” but I always brushed it off as just me speaking to myself. This time, however, it felt very distinct.

I was having a normal, casual lucid dream, chatting with people and enjoying the random environment I had created with faces I did not know. In the middle of a conversation, I received this message: “Jesus, 13 strands DNA. Searching, 12 strands. 1 missing.”

I wondered what on earth this message meant. I knew we do not have 13 strands. I asked for clarity, but nothing else came. I got the sense that the “searching” was in relation to people in power. I asked someone in my dream what this meant, and the person seemed shocked that I brought it up.

The Clarification

As I woke up, I wrote it down and began to do some research, including asking friends who are more involved in this psychic circle.

To my surprise, the concept of 13 strands of DNA and the divine is already a thing in the New Age community. It is understood in a spiritual sense, not a scientific one, that there are 13 divine strands and the 13th one has been hidden from us. The 12 strands represent the original human template, while the 13th is the “codex of cosmic memory” or the bridge to higher-dimensional consciousness. It is often cited as the point of integration where a person fully realizes their connection to the Source or universal intelligence.

While there is no theological “strand of Jesus,” some New Age channels and teachers associate the 13th strand with the energy of Sananda, a name often used to refer to the ascended master version of Jesus. In these teachings:

• Integration: The 13th strand is sometimes described as the Christ consciousness strand. Activating it is believed to allow an individual to embody the same level of enlightenment or unconditional love that the New Age Jesus represents.

• Symbolism: It is often portrayed as the missing piece that restores a person to their divine origin, moving them beyond the perceived limitations of the physical body.

The Takeaway

While I still do not exactly know what this message was for me, I took away that this is something we all have within us and that we must remember.

I could theorize that perhaps it has to do with the deep state searching for the bloodline of Jesus, but without confirmation, I do not want to suggest that is exactly what it is. As I always caveat, I am not a religious person at all. I simply receive a message and take it or leave it. I do believe we are all connected to consciousness, that we must not forget we are all one, and that we are capable of far more than we realize.

Maybe now is the time to lean into it and activate these forgotten skills such as telepathy, psychic senses, and energy work to move humanity forward.

Thanks for reading my work as always.

Joanna x

I fell asleep, but I remained incredibly lucid. An hour and a half disappeared in what felt like the blink of an eye.

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Entering The Dream

I was suddenly transported to a cliffside environment with massive waves, a very Bond villain-esque location that I had apparently constructed. I found myself inside a building, sitting in a meeting room with the team from Palantir while they discussed new tech. Suddenly, I decided enough was enough.

They asked me who the hell I was, and I told them, “I’m shutting you down, along with all of your friends. I’m the boss you’ve never known about. I’m at the top of the food chain.” I guess it was a manifestation; I often have conversations about what I’d do if I were a gazillionaire and how I’d go about saving the world.

I kicked them out of the building and told them it was my home, which they had been meeting in this whole time without ever realizing it. I was essentially someone’s daughter who had taken over, like a secret succession had taken place.

Building My World

Then, I realized, “Wait, I know this is a dream. Cool, let’s play then!”

I walked out of the building, and it felt like a video game where the scenery was loading in the distance. I started thinking about how I wanted to build this place. I had only planned the meeting room, so I needed to construct the rest of the location with my mind.

Here is a view of what I made:

To guide you through it:

• The Hockey Arena: I designed a space where the masses could come and watch ice hockey down the stairs, mostly because my husband loves hockey and I wanted him to have somewhere to go. He was around in the dream, but his character was distracted and he didn’t even know who I was, but I wanted him there.

• The Private Club: Behind the reception to the left, I put a strip club. For some reason, I’ve always had this dream of doing crazy acrobatics on a pole, but I didn’t want any creeps in there. It was empty, just me dancing around doing crazy moves. I only allowed women inside and got kind of annoyed when a couple creeps made it in so I put up a bubble of energy to block the door since I couldn’t trust my made up receptionists.

• The Meeting Rooms: To the right, up the stairs behind reception, was the private area where the meetings were held.

At one point, I let people come back, and I saw my husband. I introduced myself as his wife from another waking life, and he just said, “I guess she’s really into this dream stuff, so I wouldn’t be surprised about this being a situation.”

I actually got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of all this and managed to re-enter the same location when I went back to bed, which still blows my mind. It’s so cool when it happens and the lucidity is that strong. I could rewind parts, restart conversations, change my movements, or decide to remove things and explore elsewhere.

Final Thoughts

Sadly, I didn’t make it to the back area where my bedroom was. I’m not sure what I would want that personal space to look like, because my main mission was to fix the world and mess around with an environment that wasn’t overly personal to me…apart from the perfect, creep-free, women-only strip club, of course!

I’m curious: has anyone else had lucid dreams like this, where you build a home and a dream world as you play through it? I keep trying to go back and do it again, but I can’t seem to manage it. I guess I’m not supposed to keep going back there; maybe I have other missions to do.

This past year, the key of my life has been turning to a great degree. I went from being an atheist to a spiritual agnostic. I know there is something else, but it exists in the space between the belief systems people have created. It is an enigma.

I have been on a journey I did not realize was one of remembrance. It was a time gifted to me where I am not working and not distracted. During a Hemi-sync meditation with the Monroe Institute, I encountered a presence identified as Sirian from when I was visited as a young girl. I was told I am a “light child”, though I admit that labels give me the ick. I do not care for the jargon of New Age spirituality but I understand human beings find labels and names much easier to navigate when we have mostly language as our main tool. I only know that I feel different, and I know this is not my first time here.

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The Blueprint of a Healer (and Dreamer)

My astrological profile, rooted in a Scorpio Sun and Mercury in the 8th house, explains my drive to explore the mysteries of life, death, and transformation. My Pisces rising makes me a natural conduit, a bridge between the physical and the unseen. This explains why my dream world and writing about it comes so naturally to me.

• The Astrological Function: This is not just a personality trait; it is my function.

• The Mayan Calibration: My Mayan signature, the Blue Solar Hand, confirms this through its focus on healing and the realization of intentions. The Blue Hand is about accomplishing through knowing, and that is exactly what I am doing now.

To dive deeper into my Mayan signature, the Blue Hand represents healing, while my guide, the Blue Night, connects me to the dream world and the unconscious. My challenge is the Red Earth, which represents the need to stay grounded. The hidden gift I am bringing forward is the White Wizard, related to shamanism and the ability to see through illusions. Finally, the Yellow Human suggests I must surround myself with people who encourage free will and exploration.

In a meditation recently, I saw a personal symbol come to me when I asked my purpose. A representation of being between worlds. Between the conscious and unconscious worlds. I also have glyphs I chose to be tattooed on me many years ago before my awakening that signify transitioning, protection and exploration.

The Dreams Came Knocking

My dreams began to tell me stories when I asked who I am. I saw underwater temples and Atlantis. I read hieroglyphs, specifically the words “Sokar-Ata,” which signify a force of transformation. I was told this means “blessings to be reborn,” though I am not an expert in Ancient Egyptian linguistics. I met an Orisha from the Yoruba tribe who told me to remember my true self. I have had dreams of shamanic animals guiding me and ancestors appearing with drums while I use sound for energy healing. I have even had dreams of saving people from a great flood during the times of the Mayans and Ancient Egypt at Saqqara, an ancient healing center.

I’ve had out of body experiences now where I am an entirely different being altogether. An insectoid/crustacean breed told me that I am on a mission to protect humanity in the astral. It is very odd, I know.

But I realize now that these were not just random images. I am here to retrieve collective messages from the dream state and support healing with my hands. Whether it is Reiki or another form of energy healing, it is a deep calling that I have.

I see now that I am a facilitator of remembrance, healing, and crossing over to the other side. With my father being terminally ill and already supporting a friend with cancer after my husband’s cancer triggered my awakening, it is all staring me in the face. I also want to help others access their own subconscious through trance states and dreams so they realize their true potential in the physical, grounded life. It is not about escaping reality, it is about living from love and experiencing what it means to be human with the toolkit of accessing the subconscious and the space beyond the veil.

I am a bridge between worlds, the conscious and subconscious. My past lives, I believe, include healing the sick and aiding transformation, with deep connections to the archetypes and frequencies of Sekhmet (Goddess of Duality and Personal Transformation), Sokar (God of the Underworld), Saqqara, Sirius (wisdom keepers), the Pleiades (heart-centered healing), and Atlantis. Typing that out still gives me the “ick,” but clearly, I am being asked to pay attention this time. I don’t have any science to back this up, which makes it extremely hard for me to accept, but I am still exploring. Things will unfold as they do with the rhythms of life.

When you piece it all together by listening, it finally makes sense. My work is not to get lost in the stars, but to bring the medicine back to us, this is who we are inside, we need to remember this. By anchoring these ancient, ethereal insights into the very real, often painful human experience of illness and healing, I am learning that the most profound transformation happens right here in the physical. We are not just human beings having a spiritual experience; we are bridges, tasked with embodying love in a world that desperately needs to remember its own light.

So how can we remember? well first, be patient, be still and listen. You already know.

If any of this resonates with you, please comment below or feel free to send me a message :)

I have fallen into the trap myself. I have spent time really enjoying a speaker, only to realize later that there was something I should have questioned. I don’t want to name names because everyone is on their own journey, but I want to offer some questions that I now ask myself. I’m writing this with my chest (not literally), with my heart.

The Trap of Certainty

As with any new, exciting skill, there will always be grifters, narcissists hiding in spirituality, or self-proclaimed know-it-alls. These individuals often capitalize on the human desire for certainty. If you are telling people exactly what is in the afterlife, that is an easy sell.

These individuals arrive with a map of the afterlife, a blueprint of consciousness, or a set of rules for how to correctly astral project, all delivered with absolute, unshakable confidence. While I believe astral projection is a natural human capacity, something we likely do while asleep, I take issue with the claim that one person holds the entire blueprint of consciousness.

Even Bob Monroe, one of the most famous OOBE pioneers, never claimed to have all the answers. He focused on experience and sharing that discovery with others. It was never about the 12 levels of heaven or the idea that “space is not real”. The fact is, we don’t have all the answers. I personally feel that we are here to experience, explore, and learn, not to possess absolute knowledge, maybe I’m wrong but I feel that in my heart.

Confirmation Bias and Charisma

We must be careful about confirmation bias, which is that inner pull to believe something just because the speaker looks the part of a messiah or claims to have accomplished something rare and that this person confirms a conspiracy in mind or a narrative you believe. Confidence is not proof, and charisma is not consciousness. If a teacher refuses to provide evidence because they claim people will just say it is AI, that is a red flag. I am all for being open-minded, but extraordinary claims require a bit more than just a straight face.

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Discovery vs. Dogma

How do we tell a true explorer from a dogmatic authority? It comes down to their language:

• Teaching Discovery: This approach frames insights as “This is what I found” or “This perspective helped me.” It holds space for you to disagree and invites you to develop your own compass. Green flag.

• Teaching Dogma: This approach frames insights as “This is exactly how it is” or “This is what you need to do.” It demands that you accept their map as the literal terrain. Red flag.

The Mask of the Narcissist

A teacher who claims to understand consciousness in its entirety is likely ignoring the most fundamental part of the human experience: the fact that we are all still learning. A narcissistic teacher often uses spiritual knowledge to demand reverence, exhibiting:

• An Inability to Handle Dissent: If you question them, you are labeled as not evolved enough or blocked by fear. Fear is a real, healthy human instinct. It keeps us safe. If someone tells you that feeling fear is the opposite of love or a spiritual block, they are disregarding your basic humanity. I’m pretty sure if we didn’t experience fear, we would not be human. We’d be leaving babies on their own in the street or being ran over by cars because if you live only in love and light then nothing will happen, right?

• The Chosen One Complex: They position themselves as the only source of pure truth, implying everyone else is a charlatan. Nobody is chosen, and nobody is extra special in a way that exempts them from the human condition.

• Constant Hero-Worship: They require students to mirror their own successes rather than finding their own path. Spiritual growth is not a cookie-cutter experience; it is uniquely individual.

How Cults Form in the Shadows

Cults do not start with robes and rituals; they start with subtle erosions of autonomy. It begins when someone tells you that your gut feeling, that internal “off” sensation, is actually your own ego preventing you from higher truths. By undermining your ability to trust your own discernment, they begin to replace your internal voice with their own.

If you see massive bootcamps promising instantaneous healing, or leaders who suddenly claim their job is done after a dramatic, performative realization, think critically. If it looks cult-like, it probably is. Claiming someone is levitating but it only happens in their own camps, question it. Once you get sucked in and you’ve paid thousands to join the membership, you start to feel special and before you know it, you feel chosen and you start to be a follower even if the person you’re following isn’t even engaging with you personally.

Final Thoughts

Let people have their own journeys. We are meant to learn, grow, and explore, not to have all the answers handed to us on a silver platter. True spiritual growth happens in the space between what we know and what we are still discovering.

We need fear to survive and love to care for one another. You cannot simply sit in pure love and expect life to be handed to you. I may be overthinking it, and I am perfectly okay with being wrong, but I will never claim to have all the answers.

I would love to hear your views on this. Have you ever had a moment where you snapped out of it while listening to a speaker who seemed too good to be true?

I am also well aware of the internet conspiracy theories regarding global elites and hidden puppet masters. Because of that, it is entirely possible that what I’m about to share was just my subconscious recycling online folklore.

The Question: Where does my personal unconscious end, and where does the collective consciousness begin?

I do my best not to fill in the blanks with creative storytelling or exaggeration. I am simply typing out exactly what I saw, felt and experienced, and I will be the first to admit when a piece of the puzzle is missing or forgotten.

To set the stage: earlier the same night, I had a standard, chaotic brain-dump of a dream. I was literally flying through tunnels with my husband riding on my back, totally making up the environment as I went along. It was pure fantasy. But later that night, I had a “dream” that felt entirely different.

From the very beginning, my intuition was screaming: Pay attention to the information you’re about to receive.

Down to Level 10

Suddenly, I was in a location that looked exactly like “the Backrooms” (the internet meme of endless, sterile, yellow-toned corridors). It was a maze of empty, bland rooms and stairwells. Honestly, it was kind of boring. While some people might find that vibe creepy, I just felt like I was navigating a video game.

In this space, I felt like I took the form of an old man. I felt like an archeologist investigating a site, playing the role quite well as I looked for clues…maybe another past life of mine I need to explore? or maybe I just took form to create psychological safety between myself and the scary situation.

As I peered down a particularly dark stairwell, a space so pitch black that I couldn’t see the bottom, I heard a voice behind me.

“We don’t go down to Level 10. It’s too scary. The animals don’t like it.”

Naturally, my immediate thought was, What a great idea, let’s go see what’s down there.

I floated down, bypassing the stairs entirely, and entered one of two eerie, dark rooms. The atmosphere immediately shifted to that of a haunted house. I could actually feel the density and the residual weight of other people’s thought forms vibrating in the space. I knew instantly that this heavy feeling wasn’t my own. It felt like a monument built from collective trauma.

On the floor, I noticed a small opening, like a tunnel or a hole in the wall. As I approached to crawl through and look closer, two dark thought forms rushed out to chase me. They felt like guardians of the space. Because I wasn’t afraid of them, they didn’t appear that menacing or shadowy to me; they actually looked a bit funny, made of metal? They were trying their best to frighten me off, so I decided to leave and head back up. Just like 2 little yappy dogs protecting their silly boring space.

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The Mesopotamian Puppet Master

Then, the scene cut. I don’t remember the transition, but suddenly I found myself in a massive room filled to the brim with ancient, towering statues.

Intuitively, the architecture felt Mesopotamian or Babylonian. The figures were so immensely tall and the experience was moving so fast that I couldn’t even make out their faces (maybe for protection? I knew they would probably distract me).

One specific statue caught my attention. It was a depiction of a woman, a voluptuous goddess, being held by a much larger, much darker, non-human entity. It looked like a puppet master holding its prize.

I knew instinctively that she served a specific purpose, though I didn’t know what. Then, a voice spoke behind me again:

“Swap her out with a man. She has reincarnated, as have many others over time, into positions of power and chaos.”

Connecting the Dots

When I woke up, the reflection began immediately. What on Earth is Level 10?

When I tuned into my intuition for an answer, the message I got was that it is a dense, avoided plane where heavy, dark thought forms reside. I also looked into the Backrooms concept and found that the “Backrooms” environment is a very common landscape for people to encounter during lower-level astral work.

So, I decided to Google it.

Interestingly, in the Kabbalah, the Tree of Life consists of ten divine attributes or emanations. Kingdom, or Malkuth, is the tenth level, representing the physical manifestation of the divine in our material world.

• Could Level 10 represent the exact intersection where thoughts meet matter?

• Was this dream a symbolic warning that a spillover of collective darkness is bleeding directly into our physical reality and our positions of power?

• Were those ancient statues connected to this esoteric history?

I can’t say for sure.

The Takeaway: Do Not Be Afraid

Here is what I am taking away from this experience.

First, nothing is quite what it seems. Second, there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of. Even if these dark reincarnations are real, they serve a functional purpose in the grander scheme of things. Chaos provides the intense contrast we need as humans to recognize, appreciate, and replicate peace for one another. The great lesson, how to love unconditionally in such chaos, even those who you feel don’t deserve it.

The dark is a portal for learning, nothing more and nothing less. If you believe the universe is inherently demonic and terrifying, then it will absolutely manifest that way to you. Because I chose to view this space without fear, I saw it for what it truly was: an observational deck for collective trauma patterns.

The Core Truth: It feels incredibly real, but you always maintain your sovereignty. You get to decide what affects you and what doesn’t.

I don’t claim this experience to be absolute truth, but rather a fascinating potential. I do believe there are forces pulling strings that we cannot fully comprehend, just look at the inhuman behaviour exposed in things like the Epstein files. It is entirely possible that ancient, lower-vibrational souls intentionally reincarnate into systems of chaos.

After all, if fear is your food, why wouldn’t you want a seat at the table? This place is full of fear and chaos, it’s the perfect spot to eat.

Recently, I woke up from a lucid dream so profound that the boundary between my internal world and external reality felt completely blurred. While I’m still unpacking the layers, I wanted to share the story of what happened, how it reflects my own inner evolution, and the uncanny cosmic validation I received the moment I opened my eyes.

Part I: Sidestepping the Old World

The dream started at my old corporate workplace. For context, I used to work for Adidas at a massive campus with over 5,000 people, and my husband still works there. In the past, I would have been right in the thick of their massive corporate events. But this time, I chose to stand on the sidelines, simply observing the madness from afar.

To leave, I had to carefully navigate my way down a steep, slippery hill.

Looking back, this feels like a beautiful reflection of my inner world. Slipping down that hill without falling felt symbolic. It was a test of my ability to navigate past environments without getting sucked back into their frequencies. I am no longer that corporate version of myself, and my subconscious was reminding me to walk carefully so I don’t get caught up in old energies.

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Part II: The Shift into Chaos

As we left the campus, the dreamscape shifted into a nighttime city. Suddenly, chaos unfolded.

The military was everywhere. I looked up at the sky and saw ships everywhere. Oddly, I didn’t panic. My first thought was, “Oh, this is just disclosure. This is why people are going crazy.”

Amidst the panic, a car tried to ram into a group of soldiers, who immediately opened fire. It was traumatic to witness, but instead of fleeing, I went straight into protection mode. Because I was lucid, I knew it was a dream. I possessed a fierce, unshakable confidence that these forces couldn’t touch me.

I watched a soldier point a red laser gun at a group of civilians. I walked right up to him, got directly in his face, and stood my ground. I felt incredibly powerful. He was completely disarmed by my lack of fear. I essentially told him, “Lift that gun again. Try me.”

He put the gun down.

Part III: Leading the Way to Higher Ground

With the ships descending, I gathered the crowd and shuffled everyone out of the city, guiding them up to higher ground.

When I look at this part of the dream, it mirrors my deepest waking-life desires. I have a profound urge to help people in their conscious lives, to show them how to stand up to the dark, reject fear, and claim absolute sovereignty over the lives they want to build. Going to “higher ground” wasn’t just geographical; it was vibrational.

We eventually reached a sanctuary that looked like a lush garden. There was an art station where people were painting and drawing out their emotions, processing the trauma of the old world. A friend turned to me and softly said, “It feels so nice to imagine world peace.”

That line stayed with me. It made me realize that this dream was capturing a massive shift in consciousness. People are no longer blindly trusting the narrative. We are ready to build a better world together, one devoid of political divides, war, anger, and deception. We are looking for fairness and compassion.

The Cosmic Receipts: 444 and 1111

If the dream itself wasn’t enough of a paradigm shift, the universe decided to leave a few digital footprints upon my return to reality.

As my eyes cracked open and I reached for my phone to check the time, the clock read 04:44.

In the realm of numerology, 444 is the number of protection, stability, and solid foundations. It is a sign that your spiritual guides are wrapping you in a protective embrace, confirming that you are safe and grounded. This mirrored the exact safety and power I felt while standing down that soldier. Seeing 444 was the universe whispering that the sovereignty I felt in that dream is real, and that I am anchored.

A few hours later, I sat at my laptop, channeling the dream into words. As I typed out the final thoughts and glanced up at the clock, it read 11:11.

If 444 is the anchor, 11:11 is the ultimate green light from the cosmos. It represents an energetic portal, a spiritual awakening, and a profound alignment between your thoughts and your true reality. It is a number that often appears when you are manifesting at lightning speed, validating that your inner shift is actively reshaping your outer world.

I’ve always been a bit skeptical about angel numbers, but they certainly have a knack for showing up right at the most poignant moments.

Whether this dream was a glimpse into a collective future or simply a projection of my own mind reclaiming its power, one thing is certain: I woke up with some reflections and validations I needed.

Anyone else had crazy dreams about disclosure lately?

But lately, as these ancient tools find themselves packaged into the fast-paced digital marketplace, I’ve found myself pausing. I look at what’s happening in the online spiritual community and can’t help but ask a critical question: is our healing moving faster than our psyches can actually keep up with?

The Core Dilemma

The challenge in the wellness community right now isn’t the energy itself. It’s the risk of triggering one another by forcing breakthroughs before the nervous system is actually ready.

The Two Sides of the Modern Healer

There are two very different realities shaping the wellness landscape right now. On one hand, the accessibility of weekend workshops and online courses has allowed thousands of people to find self-soothing tools that used to be heavily gate-kept. That expansion is empowering, and it’s beautiful.

On the other hand, the commercialization of these practices has created a culture of extreme acceleration.

Recently, I’ve been genuinely surprised to see online containers with a dozen people rushing through both Reiki 1 and Reiki 2 attunements in a matter of just six weeks, with zero 21-day cleanses.

When deep spiritual healing is packaged like a quick career pivot, a rapid transformation, or a six-figure business model, we risk losing our reverence for the time it takes to actually process change. Rushing through certifications without spending time in our own psychological trenches leads straight to spiritual bypassing (using high-vibe language to skip over the difficult, messy, non-linear work of personal integration).

The data suggests that these fast-tracked spiritual technologies carry real psychological risks:

• The Adverse Effect Rate: Research from Brown University looking at intensive mindfulness and meditative practices found that 58% of participants experienced adverse emotional effects.

• The Functional Impact: Within that same study, 37% reported that these negative impacts directly disrupted their daily ability to function.

  

These numbers show that opening up the subconscious is powerful work that requires a steady, stable foundation, not a rushed timeline.

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Dreamwork, Breathwork, and the Shadow

Because my work centers so deeply on dreams, I look at this through the lens of the nightly psyche. The subconscious mind does not operate on a capitalist schedule.

YEP, READ THAT AGAIN!

Dreams are the ultimate processing plant for our energetic shifts. When we receive an attunement or engage in deep energy work, our subconscious begins a slow, methodical reorganization. This process often manifests in vivid, complex, and sometimes highly challenging dreams as our psyche digests the new frequencies and unearths old wounds.

The real danger of the modern quick-fix healing culture is that it triggers us by going way too fast. If we open deep psychological doors through energy work without giving the dreaming mind the space and time to dream through those changes, we can experience a sense of fragmentation, acute anxiety, or emotional crisis. God forbid people begin to have out-of-body experiences during this time, too; it risks exposing them to all kinds of nasties and then being re-traumatized.

This vulnerability amplifies when we throw intense physical practices like hyperventilation-based breathwork into the mix. While somatic breathwork can act as a powerful key to release trapped emotional trauma, forcing that door open in a rushed, large online group can flood the nervous system before it has the capacity to stabilize.

Without a long, grounded integration period, we yank things out of the subconscious without a plan for what comes next. That unintegrated material is exactly what Carl Jung termed the Shadow (the hidden, repressed, or “unmarketable” parts of ourselves like our rage, grief, and terror). True shadow work cannot be done on a six-week corporate schedule. If we do not give the shadow space to unfold safely in the daylight, it will scream through our anxiety and our dreams at night. Here’s more you can read about the psychology of the wounded healer, really interesting read - click here.

The Evolutionary Mismatch

The human subconscious operates on an ancient, organic biological operating system. It was built for survival, cyclical rhythm, and deep tribal trust, not for efficiency, speed, or market viability. When we try to force an industrialized timeline onto our inner world, a profound evolutionary mismatch occurs.

Your nervous system evaluates safety, not profit. It drops its defenses through slowness, repetition, and grounding. Capitalism, by contrast, thrives on urgency, competition, and high-energy acceleration. When an online container pushes you to process years of conditioning in a few short weeks, your primal brain doesn’t register healing, it registers a threat. The psyche will actively rebel against that forced pace, which is precisely why people find themselves spiralling into panic, insomnia, or deep emotional fatigue.

You quite literally need to “give yourself a break”.

“Healing isn’t just about the opening. It’s about our capacity to hold what emerges.”

A Personal Perspective on the Slow Unveiling

To share where I am on this path, I received my Reiki 1 attunement in January of this year. I have consciously decided that my Reiki 2 will not happen until October AT LEAST.

To some in the online space, a nine-month gap might seem incredibly slow, but for me, this window has been absolutely essential.

Every single night, my dreams help me unfold and unravel what the energy is teaching me about myself. This slow unveiling isn’t a delay. It is the work. It is the necessary, unglamorous preparation I need to undergo before I can eventually step out and offer a safe, authentic, and grounded energy exchange to help others. We simply cannot guide someone else through an internal landscape we haven’t fully walked ourselves.

I am still finding things appearing in my subconscious that I need to contain and work through. The darkness is necessary to slowly work with and appreciate. It is not a rushed thing we can handle. It is taxing, just like how we cannot rush talk therapy.

It’s incredibly important to me (in fact, it feels quite visceral) that if I’m to work with other people’s energy, my vessel must be as clear and well taken care of as possible to avoid any spillover even if it’s not while giving reiki, but in the interaction pre and after.

The Nuance: Honoring the Conscious Guides

It is important to say that this is not a blanket critique of the digital space. The internet has allowed incredible, deeply dedicated teachers to reach people who otherwise would never have found this path. There are absolutely online trainers who get it right. These are the practitioners who use the internet to build long-term, slow-paced, and trauma-informed containers. They explicitly build integration periods into their courses, enforce the traditional cleanses, and openly encourage their students to slow down.

If you are looking for an online mentor because you cannot find a local teacher, the real question to ask is: how are they containing the space?

Conscious online teachers will openly discuss the logistical realities of the practice. For example, do they inform their students that they might not be able to get professional insurance, or that major Reiki associations may not recognize fully online fast-track courses for professional practice? Are they offering Reiki 1 online purely for personal, self-healing benefits while advising against a rushed online Reiki 2? If they are teaching online, is it done strictly one-on-one so the master can monitor and care for your individual container?

Finding the right container often requires immense effort and discernment. For my own Reiki 1 attunement, I had to travel five hours on a train to Berlin because my local area didn’t have any English-speaking masters, and I was determined to learn from a teacher I truly aligned with.

The issue is never the digital medium itself, but the market pressure to prioritize quick financial conversion over sacred timing. When we can distinguish between a teacher using the internet to share a lifelong devotion, and a business model using spirituality to scale a rapid profit, we protect the integrity of the work.

Cultivating Discernment: Questions for the Seeker

When you encounter the endless stream of offerings, masterclasses, and business coaching programs on your feed, it can be hard to separate a genuine guide from a rapid cash grab.

A Quick Checklist for Your Inner Authority:

• The Timeline: Do they promise instant results and rapid success, or do they honour the natural, slow cycles of integration and shadow work? I’m talking over months, not just a few weeks.

• The Product: Is the core focus on the sacredness and lineage of the practice itself, or on the aesthetic of a six-figure, soul-aligned business? If they want to awaken people, then why are they charging above-market premiums for sessions when there are others including a sliding scale depending on what you earn or your situation?

• The Space: Does their container allow for the difficult processing that naturally happens in dreamwork and emotional integration? Are they trauma-informed?

• The Nervous System: When viewing an offer, do you feel a grounded, peaceful connection, or are you being swept up by a frantic sense of urgency and FOMO because the person seems popular and has a large following?

A Call for Grounding

Perhaps it is time for the spiritual wellness community to consider a higher level of ethical responsibility and self-regulation. This isn’t about gatekeeping energy; energy belongs to everyone. It’s about protecting both the practitioners and the seekers.

We owe it to these sacred lineages to spend time in the trenches, doing our own quiet work, before we step into the role of trying to heal others. By slowing down, we ensure that the energy we share is not just powerful, but safe, respectful, and truly integrated.

I’d love to hear your views on this too if you have had any experience positive or negative with healers rushing too much too soon.

References & Further Reading

• Britton, W. B., Lindahl, J. R., Cooper, D. J., Canby, N. K., & Palitsky, R. (2021). Defining and Measuring Meditation-Related Adverse Effects in Mindfulness-Based Programs. Clinical Psychological Science, 9(6), 1185-1204. https://doi.org/10.1177/2167702621996340

• Cebolla, A., Demarzo, M., Martins, P., Soler, J., & Garcia-Campayo, J. (2017). Unwanted effects: Is there a negative side of meditation? A multicentre survey. PLOS ONE, 12(9), e0183137. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0183137

• Dixon, L. J., Hornsey, M. J., & Hartley, N. (2023). “The Secret” to Success? The Psychology of Belief in Manifestation. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 51(1), 49-65. https://doi.org/10.1177/01461672231181162

Waking up never really understanding why I saw a bear turn into a man, a raven flying with me, a hummingbird, or a crocodile, I started doing some research. As I dug deeper, I noticed something. This is shamanic.

While I am not sure if this means my calling is connected to shamanism, I feel deep within that this could be linked to guides or messengers. To caveat: I used to be a staunch atheist. I didn’t believe in any of this until I tried to lean into it to see if maybe I might be wrong. I now like to say I am 'agnostic non-religious spiritual,' if that is even a thing? Everyone’s reality is shaped by their own environment, experiences, and perceptions. Truthfully, I believe knowledge is fluid. We never truly know, and maybe that is the point, unraveling pieces of consciousness as we go as the “field” expands and breathes in and out, all around us.

If this resonates with you too, please follow or subscribe and interact with me. It brings me great pleasure to hear all of your stories too.

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Over the course of the past few weeks, I tried something new. I don’t see spirit guides the way some people perceive them, taking human form, so I felt as though maybe I would never experience it. This is despite me brushing off the fact that two women walked in drumming and singing while I was dreaming of doing Reiki while singing on women. I usually just tell myself I project all these things. But what if?

So I tried a new experiment. I asked for my guides to introduce themselves one by one. One every night.

As I dreamed, I began to notice the animals and the feelings they gave me, following solely on intuition, what I was experiencing in the dream, where the animal was, and how they made me feel.

The Parasites and the Lioness

It is no news if you’ve read some of my articles that I’ve seen lion-headed figures before, like the mer-lions or Sekhmet. But this one stood out to me because it should have been a nightmare, yet I wasn’t scared. It was a message.

Long story short, I was queuing to go into a party run by what seemed like elites. They were trying to lure me into a weird situation, I guess some would say almost trying to bedazzle me. As soon as I stood up and said no, one elite turned into a giant, disgusting looking parasite with multiple long legs, white all over. This thing was terrorizing people, and as I went to shelter behind a bush, these lions ran around the corner and came over to me. The female lion came over and gave me a “cat hug.”

I felt this immediate sense of, It’s okay, you are strong, I’ve got your back.

So I ran out and I battled this thing, imagining energy projecting out from myself. It was super empowering.

Shamanic belief about a lioness: She represents fierce protection, personal power, and the courage to stand your ground against negative forces or predatory energies. She appears when you need to reclaim your sovereignty.

The Fence and the Bear-Man

This dream pertained to me sitting on a school bus with other teenagers. Funnily enough, I was one of the cool kids and I was just kind of unpleasant to others. I realized while I was on this bus that in my waking life, I was actually the loser who was bullied. It was totally the other way around, and I thought to myself, Was that karma for a life I once lived where I was mean? Could it be?

So I got off the bus and I ran away into a field, quite ashamed and sad if I hurt anyone in a past life, or even in this life if someone ever felt I was treating them poorly.

I ducked behind a fence, upset. In the distance, I saw a forest and this huge bear came running out. I was a little frightened, but I felt safe. Suddenly, he turned into half man and half bear. He reached over the fence with his hand and smiled at me as if to say, “You don’t need to hide, you can always get back up. You shouldn’t beat yourself up.”

It was just what I needed to hear.

Shamanic belief about a bear: The bear is the ultimate symbol of introspection, healing, and emotional recovery. Bear medicine teaches us to go within, face our shadows or guilt, and emerge renewed and grounded.

The House and the Hummingbirds

All I remember is being in my family home. It felt like I was doing a lot of rescuing. To caveat, my father is currently terminally ill, so there is a lot of emotional heavy lifting with family things right now. It is heavy on me.

I walked to the window and saw a small baby hummingbird struggling. I picked it up and tried to nurse it to keep it alive. As I looked up, I saw a hummingbird about three to four feet tall, looking at me from behind the window.

This was a little harder for me to understand. I didn’t know what hummingbirds really represented, but I felt that it was a preparation for me. Baby steps, you don’t need to rush, you have a lot going on. We are here for you.

Shamanic belief about a hummingbird: They represent resilience, adaptability, and the ability to find sweetness in life even during times of heavy emotional burden. They are reminders to preserve your energy and take things step by step.

Flying with Ravens

This time I was still at my family home, but I was flying above it in the mist. There was a giant raven flying next to me.

I know that the mist above the family home felt as though it was depicting uncertainty around that situation. I was watching, but not sure how to respond.

I asked the raven what its name was, and he said, “Nightfall.”

I felt like this was a protective energy again too, very much saying, “I’m flying with you, you are on the right path, and you can fly with me any time.”

Shamanic belief about a raven: The raven is the keeper of secrets, a messenger of the Great Mystery, and a guide through times of transition and the unknown. Flying with a raven signifies spiritual shape-shifting and learning to navigate through the “mist” of life with higher vision.

The Crocodile Relic

This one was a bit out there for me, but it blew me away to say the least.

I was in an astral world, underwater, surrounded by beautiful coral and creatures.

On the other side of this tunnel through the water, which is usually explained by others as going through a kind of gateway if you travel through water, I was suddenly in front of this crocodile relic.

I heard a voice behind me say, “Try to remote view this event using this crocodile.”

I responded, “What? No way can I do that, that’s impossible.”

“They” responded, “Just try it!”

So I turned the relic over onto its belly instinctively and I meditated. Something that still blows me away now began to happen.

I began to remote view on the crocodile while being in this astral territory. Everything went iridescent. I could see through my mind’s eye in my dream body. I knew about Russian doll projection, but this was something completely new.

I saw a war from the past appear, as though I was looking at a recorded event. It was tragic and sad, but I knew it was World War II. As I was seeing it, my inner voice was baffled. GUYS CAN YOU SEE THIS?! I’m seeing a war, can you hear me, write this down?

I came out of the trance inside my dream and they were laughing, saying, “We told you so, you’re capable of anything, see!”

Then I woke up, excited, truly baffled. I was full of energy and had nobody to prove it to with what I saw or experienced.

I am not quite sure what this was meant to represent, but it felt more ancient to me. What surprised me later is that shamanic practitioners believe crocodiles to be the keepers of records. That is crazy considering I was remote viewing a past event on the crocodile.

Shamanic belief about a crocodile: The crocodile is seen as the ultimate guardian of ancient wisdom and the “keeper of records” for the planet. Because they have remained relatively unchanged for millions of years, they symbolize a deep connection to the primal past and the collective unconscious. They are guides for those learning to “see” through time, representing the patience and stillness required to access deep, hidden knowledge.

So, is it possible that animals are really messengers in our unconscious world? They are showing us little nudges of what we are capable of understanding and experiencing. It’s fascinating to me that I documented what I felt intuitively and it aligned with the shamanic beliefs of these particular animals afterwards which is pretty amazing.

If it is just ourselves projecting this, it would be foolish to not also see this as a magical way to experience ourselves and the world around us, don’t you think?

What animals have you seen in dreams apart from your own pets? Did they feel like anything significant to you too?

I am participacting in the Gateway Voyage Online self-guided (the cheaper option, roughly 500 euros) since I don’t have a lot of issues getting into hypnagogic and trance-like states, but I do want to have some structure and guidance for how to navigate the astral.

So here goes… join me on this journey of consciousness exploration and expansion.

The Science: What is Hemi-Sync?

Before I dive into my experience, it helps to understand the “tech” behind the magic. The Monroe Institute uses a process called Hemi-Sync (short for Hemispheric Synchronization).

The audio tracks use binaural beats to induce specific brainwave states. By sending slightly different frequencies to each ear, the brain “reconciles” the difference by creating a third internal frequency. This encourages the left and right hemispheres to work in unison. It is this synchronization that allows for a state of high-focus that is usually only accessible to master meditators after years of practice.

The Roadmap: Understanding Focus Levels

Monroe used numbers to describe different states of awareness. This was intentional. He wanted to avoid religious or “New Age” labels so that every explorer could have an objective experience. After-all, the dream state is very fluid. You can go from astral projection back into a lucid dream and from a lucid dream into an out of body. It’s much easier if we use these levels to understand which “radio station” we tune ourselves into.

• Focus 1: Your normal, everyday waking consciousness.

• Focus 10: Mind Awake, Body Asleep. Your physical senses are muted while your mind remains brilliantly clear.

• Focus 12: Expanded Awareness. This is where you begin to perceive beyond the limits of the physical body.

The higher up you go, the more you can have some pretty crazy experiences. Some have described meeting loved ones who are no longer here, some meet inter-dimensional beings who are tuned into that frequency, it’s super interesting. It makes me wonder if our brains are just like a usb that plugs into a HUGE database that we can explore and this entire process is providing that structure for us.

The Gateway Process: Wave I

The first exercise is often the most daunting for most because it sets the foundation for everything that follows. The goal of this initial session is to reach Focus 10.

In the Monroe vernacular, Focus 10 is defined as “Mind Awake, Body Asleep.” It sounds simple in theory, but achieving that specific physiological decoupling is a strange sensation. You are effectively tricking the body into a state of deep slumber while keeping the pilot of the ship (your consciousness) fully alert and observant.

The Preparatory Process

Before diving into the deep end, the exercise walks you through several “mental tools” that serve as a safety harness:

• The Energy Conversion Box: You visualize a heavy container and lock away every physical distraction. I decided to put ALL physical matter around me, including my home and the world, into the box as well as all of my emotions. It was a big task that felt like “Inception” while I was doing it. I wanted to give myself the sense of just being totally me floating around. Then I put the box behind me and looked out into the “skin” at the back of my eyeballs.

• Resonant Tuning: This involves vocalizing humming sounds along with the audio. It feels a bit odd at first, but it physically vibrates the chest and head. It is just like the “OHM” sound really, but you can feel it is for the vagus nerve.

• The Affirmation: A short statement of intent. You declare that you are more than your physical body and deeply desire to expand your awareness.

What Focus 10 Feels Like

As the binaural beats shifted, I felt the familiar “heaviness” of a trance state. However, the Hemi-Sync audio adds a layer of stability that I haven’t experienced in unguided meditation. The voice of Bob Monroe takes you up from 1 to 10. Each point focuses on relaxing a separate part of your body, which reminded me a lot of Yoga Nidra (yogic sleep).

I reached a point where I could no longer feel the bed beneath me. My limbs felt like they were made of lead, yet my mind was right there with me in “space.”

I could see the hypnagogic state at first. Colors were flying around like aura bubbles and then whoosh suddenly I sank deeper. I saw stars flying past me as if I were on the edge of an event horizon of a black hole.

Initial Takeaways

I didn’t “exit” my body or see any entities today, and that is perfectly fine. The Gateway Voyage isn’t about forcing an immediate out of body experience. It is about building the muscle memory of the soul.

By the time the “return” count started, I felt a profound sense of peace. My body felt as though it had slept for eight hours, even though the session was only about thirty five minutes long.

Some people say they experienced shadows or voices. Some feel nothing. It is a reminder that this is just one big journey for everyone. Nobody should compare. If this is just the first step into the Gateway, I am fascinated to see what happens when the training wheels come off.

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If you’ve ever found yourself in the middle of a parkour session or flying over a city while being fully aware that your physical body is tucked safely under a duvet, you’ve moved beyond mere detection. You are operating in a state of Lucid Awareness.

The Standard Toolkit: Why We Poke the Wall

For most dreamers, the transition from a normal dream to a lucid one requires a trigger. The brain is an incredible simulator. It can render your childhood home or a lunar landscape with such detail that your critical mind just accepts it as real.

The Reality Check is a deliberate attempt to break the physics of that simulation.

• The Biological Breach: This involves pinching your nose and trying to breathe. In the physical world, it’s impossible. In a dream, your “astral” lungs don’t need air, so you’ll find you can breathe perfectly fine.

• The Rendering Glitch: Digital clocks and text are notoriously unstable in dreams. If you look at a watch, look away, and then look back, “2:00 PM” will often turn into a series of strange symbols or a completely different time.

• The Density Test: This is the act of pushing a finger through your palm. Since your dream body is made of thought-form energy, that solid barrier usually gives way like mist or smoke.

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When the Check Becomes Obsolete

There is a level of consciousness where the “Matrix” never truly takes hold. This is Maintained Consciousness. In the Monroe or Gateway philosophy, it is often called “Mind Awake, Body Asleep.”

If you are a natural who feels yourself “peel” out of your body or if you maintain a thread of awareness from the moment your eyes close, reality checks can feel redundant. You don’t need to check a clock to know you’re dreaming because you never actually forgot you were asleep in the first place.

The False Awakening Trap

The only time a natural dreamer truly gets tricked is during a False Awakening. This is a simulation so mundane, like getting out of bed or brushing your teeth, that it lacks the logic such as flying or talking to aliens that usually triggers your awareness. It matches your expectations so perfectly that your internal radar stays silent. In these specific moments, having a habit of doing a reality check is your only defence against losing the experience to a normal dream.

This is also where some people can experience intense nightmares. You’re in your home, thinking everything is normal and then suddenly something scary is watching you outside (a shadow, your own thoughts and fear taking form). The checks can be a powerful tool to get you out of that panic.

Why Knowing is Better Than Checking

Relying on checks means you are a reactive dreamer. You are waiting for the dream to show you a flaw before you wake up within it. When you maintain consciousness from the start, you are a proactive explorer.

When you already know it’s your own mind, the goal shifts from detection to direction. You stop asking “Is this real?” and start asking “Why am I projecting this?”

The Higher Purpose: Shadow Work

This natural “knowing” is the ultimate tool for Shadow Work. If you don’t have to spend your energy figuring out if you are dreaming, you can spend it interacting with the actual content.

Instead of running from a monster, you can stand your ground. You know the monster is a thought-form, which is a piece of your own unprocessed fear or “shadow.” Because you are already lucid, you can hold a dialogue with it. You can ask it what it wants or even transform it into something else.

Final Thoughts

Reality checks are the gatekeepers for people just starting out and for those who feel safer with a backup system. If you can maintain that “I Am” presence through the vibrational stage and into the dreamscape, you aren’t just a dreamer anymore. You are an architect.

The next time you find yourself needing to check if it’s a dream, use the checks but try to stand still too, hold your intent, and remember that the environment isn’t something you are in. The environment is something you are.

Comment below if you have any checks that work well or if you’ve had any super interesting lucid dreams.

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As I walk my dog before it is time to close my eyes for the night, I think to myself about whether these experiences I have been having are just all made up. Somehow I keep thinking I need more and more clarity. I give it a go and say out loud, “I have a yearning to meet my guides properly, if you’re really there. I don’t understand all these symbols.”

The three nights prior, I asked for guides to introduce themselves to me one by one. What did I get? Animals. So far, the following have showed up:

• Female lions: appearing when I see parasites on people.

• A bear turning into a man: helping me over a fence.

• Whales: showing up when structures appear vulnerable.

• A giant hummingbird: watching me from the other side of a window when I’m protecting a baby hummingbird.

• A raven that called itself “Nightfall”: flying with me above my parent’s house.

• A crocodile: appearing, funnily enough, in cake form.

Little did I know, it is actually quite shamanic to see animals appearing as spirit guides. That is a topic for another time, but for now, let’s focus on the story about to unfold.

The Threshold: The Fog and the Invitation

I’m in a bus, alone. I am on a road in the dark. It is foggy and eerie. I thought to myself, “Here we go, another shadow dream, GREAT!”

I recognize the fog is an interpretation of what is going on with me right now. It is a quiet unknowing of where I’m meant to go with my career. I can’t see what is ahead. It is a bit isolating when you awaken to something you know is building up, but you just don’t quite know what it is. It is something unfolding slowly and I am being called to just be still.

I look up ahead and I see a shadow figure on the side of the road. Somehow, I’m not afraid, so I ask the bus to stop. As the doors open, I see an old lady standing there in the mist.

“Are you ok?!” I ask.

She smiles at me and says with her mind, “Come with me.”

The City of Water

Suddenly, I am still in the bus, but we are somewhere electric blue and high tech. I can hear music all around. It sounds kind of like the music from the Rivendell scene in Lord of the Rings, super angelic and beautiful.

The feeling rushed over me as if I was home. It was the same feeling you get when you go back to a place you have such fond memories of. Everything was so vibrant. Everyone was so happy! I ask her where we are and she says with the biggest grin on her face, “Atlantis.”

At this point, I am in genuine disbelief and awe. This did not feel like a normal dream at all.

The Temple

She takes me to a temple. I still kick myself that I didn’t ask her name. I was too stunned, and I think I was a little shocked that I had to get answers about myself first before I could ask her. It felt so rude of me.

I ask her questions about my life. I ask if I can come home and she tells me that I can always come home. She says that I don’t have to reincarnate again here, but I have one more human reincarnation left with a different limitation to experience.

She tells me that the most important thing right now is for me to help my mother and be there for my family. My mother will need to use money she will receive to rebuild her life again, and I need to support her on that journey so she can be at peace. I also realize this could be my higher-self communicating with me. The one more human reincarnation thing, however, did not please me! I am tired of everything going on right now.

She shows me a woman who feels like family. She might be a sister or even a version of myself. I know her. She is wearing a metallic gold dress and she is a literal goddess to look at. Her energy is calm as she talks to me about different hand gestures. She says that the junior priestesses curl their hands as they put their head to the ground. I think this was a metaphor for grounding high-frequency power into earthly humility.

Two children come over to me and ask me what surprised me the most about Atlantis and I said, “That you guys have buses here.” They laughed and said, “People always say that.”

The Two Metaphor Messages

After this moment, I appear in two distinct scenarios. They are a bit like the training rooms I’ve explained in previous posts.

In the first, I am asked to hold a queen bee because she won’t sting when removing a nest. Yet, she stings me and it hurts. For me, this was a lesson in trusting assumptions. We may assume something will be safe, but sometimes it is not and we can get stung. That is life. It is what it is. We must move forward with the pain sometimes, even when we had the best intentions.

The second metaphor finds me in a gardening class, planting pots. A lady is showing us how to simply garden and get our hands dirty. My immediate thought is, “My gosh this is so boring, why can’t I go back to where I just was?”

That was the message. Sometimes being earthly can feel boring, but we have to plant the pots and be with one another, helping the plants to grow. That is the mission.

Final Thoughts

This experience was a reminder that while my soul belongs maybe somewhere else, my current work is where the weeds are and I need to be there with everyone helping out. We often want to skip the “boring” earthly tasks like planting pots (although I’m starting to like the idea of gardening) or navigating the fog, but even in a place as advanced as Atlantis, they still have buses to catch and structures to maintain.

I’m learning that the hand symbols of a priestess are meant to be used while our heads are to the ground so maybe I’ll try that. We bring the high frequency down here, into the mundane, into the family duties, and even into the stings of life. That is how we rebuild. That is the human mission.

My instinct is thinking that this is an akashic record that I accessed of mine. Either a past life or a frequency that I matched to go to this place.

Nonetheless, the message was beautiful and it’ll stay with me forever.

If you’ve ever seen this place, please let me know! These experiences when they are shared make me feel less alone, less weird. You are safe here.

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This morning was the first time I truly dedicated an hour to actively focusing on Astral Projection. To be honest, I had no idea what I was doing. I was just trying to recreate the “glitch” that happened when I previously landed on 3iAtlas.

See here for the article I wrote about that experience:

I have the luxury of doing this right now because I am not working a traditional job, I was blessed with a 3 year payout from my corporate role. Instead, I feel called to a different kind of training: maybe psychopomp work, maybe something else? Who knows? All I know is that the classroom is open.

The Prep Work: My Newbie Protocol

Here is what I have figured out so far about getting to the starting line:

• Total Silence: Any noise acts as an anchor to the physical world.

• The Morning Window: I have to do this before my ADD brain kicks in. The second my mind drifts to a to-do list, the connection snaps.

• Surrender the Clock: I ask Alexa for the time, then I put the phone away. I have to be okay with this taking ten minutes or two hours.

• The Intent: I ask for help. “Guides, I trust you to show me what I need. I know I am meant to be here, but I am not sure where to go or why.”

The Matrix Moment

For a long time, it is just me and my thoughts. “Focus Joanna, FOCUS! Where do I go?” I see things vibrate, my ego gets in the way, and I reset. Again and again. “Push the thoughts away. Let go.”

I realised I was focusing too hard, which is just another form of trying to control the situation. So, I tried to treat it as if I were simply falling asleep. Just a LITTLE more relaxation and…

Suddenly, it happened.

My arms moved, but I could still feel my physical hands laying on the bed. They were vibrating with an intense energy. I was standing in a room with green walls. It was not my bedroom, though I could see an empty bed behind me.

Am I dreaming? Where the hell am I?

The Lesson: Force vs. Expansion

A surge of energy filled my hands. It was that familiar “Universal Life Force” I feel during Reiki, but it was much more powerful. I tried to pull my hands together, but the energy was too dense. It felt like a massive, glowing ball that needed to go somewhere or do something.

Instinctively, I tried to throw it. I thought I was supposed to attack something, like an astral enemy or an obstacle. But the ball just fell to the ground in front of me, heavy and useless.

Then, the message came through: Don’t attack. Expand.

I stopped trying to heave the energy like a shot put and instead let it flow outward from me. It was not about being a warrior. It was about being a conduit.

Then I Got Kicked Out…I Think

After the lesson, I started acting like a kid at recess. I walked through walls and wandered around just to see if I could. But the moment I started messing around without a purpose, I got the feeling that the lesson was over. I was kicked out of the room.

It felt exactly like Neo in the Matrix loading programs. It was a safe, simple space designed for me to practice the physics of a new reality before I am ready for the real thing.

The Glossary: What is actually happening?

If you are wondering about the mechanics behind these experiences, here is a breakdown of the terms I use:

1. What is Astral Projection?

Astral Projection, also known as an Out of Body Experience (OOBE), is the process of consciousness temporarily leaving the physical body. Unlike a dream, you are fully awake and aware during the process.

• Resource: The Monroe Institute is a leader in this research. They use sound technology to help people reach the “Mind Awake, Body Asleep” state.

2. What is Dual Consciousness?

This is the “Bi-location” sensation I felt. It is when you are aware of your physical body (the buzzing hands on the bed) while simultaneously perceiving and moving in another location (the Green Room).

3. What is a Psychopomp?

A psychopomp is a “soul guide.” Historically, these are beings or practitioners who help spirits transition between realms. Many people who practice astral travel find themselves doing this type of service work.

• Resource: Staying Focused in the Astral by Robert Bruce is a great deep dive into the rules and safety of these realms.

If you’ve had classroom experiences like this when practicing, please feel free to share!

We often think of the “soul” as a singular passenger riding inside a biological vehicle. But what if the soul is more like a broadcast signal?

In this model, “you” are not localised to one body or even one dimension. Instead, your consciousness is an entangled wave function spread across multiple “nodes” of reality.

The Parallel Soul Hypothesis

In quantum mechanics, entanglement describes a state where two particles remain connected such that the state of one instantly influences the other, regardless of distance. If we apply this to consciousness, we arrive at the Parallel Soul Theory: the idea that your primary essence is currently “plugged into” several different lives or forms simultaneously.

While “Human You” is navigating one world, another version of you is stationed elsewhere (in my case, on an underwater vessel). You aren’t two different people; you are one consciousness experiencing two different eigenstates (measurable states) of being.

In the experience I’m about to explain, I enter a different body and function entirely. In physics, this would be called a Phase Shift. When one aspect of your entangled self “powers down” or enters a meditative state, the bandwidth of your awareness shifts to the other node.

Remote Viewing: Accessing the Non-Local Web

Remote viewing isn’t just “seeing” far away; it is the ability to access Non-local Information. According to the Many-Worlds Interpretation, every possible version of an event exists in a branching tree of reality.

Usually, our “decoherence” (interaction with our immediate environment) keeps us locked into one branch. However, during astral travel or high-level remote viewing, the mind achieves a state of Quantum Coherence.

So let’s get into it: was it a parallel life that I experienced?

The Glitch

As I lay back down in my bed (I find mornings best for this), I close my eyes with the intent to meditate. Not to just relax my thoughts, but instead to activate my pineal gland.

I don’t often find it super easy to do this, but when it happens, I know that my emotions do not help me; being calm is my friend. Getting excited pulls me back into my body. Suddenly, I find myself somewhere that looks like a city in the sunshine. Long roads, somewhat a bit like San Francisco.

I realise I’m in my astral form, hovering above streets I’ve never seen but yet feel familiar. I tell myself that my intention is not to explore this place, but instead, I want to find my body in this realm. I set the intention to return to my physical body to report back details of the journey, and it feels like the coordinates glitched.

Instead of waking up in my bed, I felt a massive gravitational tug. The air didn’t just get colder, it became heavier. I wasn’t in a room. I was suddenly by the ocean, and as I go under, I can feel myself unable to breathe. I remember I’m my consciousness, not my physical body, so I learn to breathe the fluid quickly for comfort. I see the outline of a ship, a non-human one. I feel a surge of excitement and lose a little of the vision, but I manage to come back with focus.

I see a long, sleek vessel and end up inside of a docking bay. I’m still shooting somewhere with little to no control, as though I commanded myself to move until the job was done. Suddenly, I’m in a room, staring down at a body in a pod.

The body is like a huge crab-like being sleeping, and I mean BIG. Probably about 7ft tall. Suddenly I realise: it’s me.

My consciousness goes inside the body, and I get up to look in the mirror. I can feel my face, strange features that make me look friendly but also super weird. Kind of like a hermit crab. Beady eyes, friendly but also... different.

The Volunteer and the Guide

I wasn’t alone. My guide was there, waiting for me with a patience that suggested this “astral hop” was a regular occurrence. I asked the question that any displaced consciousness would:

“Why am I here? What am I?”

The answer was immediate and resonated in my chest: “Because you are a great protector. You’re a Herbipor. You volunteered.”

This is where the Quantum Parallel Soul theory becomes a lived reality. On this ship, my “work” is apparently defensive. We have combat weapons, high-tech instruments of deterrent, but I haven’t had to use them yet. Why? Because the real “battlefield” isn’t physical. It’s astral.

Working in the Astral

On the ship, I don’t walk around performing manual labor. I go to a pod. When I lay down in that pod and close my eyes on the ship, my consciousness “goes to work” in the astral. This is the ultimate “meta” experience:

• Physical Me is asleep in Germany living a human life.

• Herbipor Me is asleep in a pod on an underwater ship, maybe in a parallel reality.

• Astral Me is out in the field, doing the heavy lifting of protecting humanity’s energetic borders.

It’s a nested loop of existence. While my human self thinks I’m just “dreaming,” my Herbipor self knows I’m fulfilling a contract. We are the silent guardians, the ones who stand in the gap between dimensions to ensure that the human experiment can continue safely.

Waking Up

Waking up back in my human bed felt like surfacing from a deep dive. The “crystal clear” high-definition of the ship lingered longer than any dream ever has.

It makes me wonder: how many of us are “volunteers” living mundane lives here, while our parallel selves are stationed on ships, in forests, or in other galaxies, doing the work that keeps this reality stable?

The math says it’s possible. My experience felt like it was certain. But like any good scientist, or astral traveler, I’m still searching for the next piece of the puzzle.

Sources and Further Reading

• Non-Local Consciousness: The Orch OR Theory — Research by Sir Roger Penrose and Dr. Stuart Hameroff on the brain as a quantum receiver.

• The Many-Worlds Interpretation: The Many-Worlds Theory of Consciousness — A physics-based framework for parallel versions of the self.

• Multiverse Entanglement: Entanglement and the Multiverse — A 2024 hypothesis on how altered states connect parallel lives.

• Remote Viewing (The Stargate Project): CIA Declassified Documents — Official records of the US government’s investigation into non-local perception.

• Quantum Intelligence: Entanglement and the Mind — Exploring the link between universal information fields and human awareness.

• Quantum Coherence: Mechanics of Consciousness — A review of how quantum states supersede classical localized observation.

It began a few weeks ago with an activation. A sudden, heavy realization settled into my bones…I have a connection to one of the oldest deities of Ancient Egypt. Sokar.

Sokar is the silence of the underworld. He is the patron of the deep earth, a falcon-headed man in a mummified state who shepherds the dead toward the light. The falcon represents the soul’s capacity to transcend the physical and soar into the heavens. It is no coincidence that I have geometric glyphs tattooed on my skin that read “transition,” “protect,” and “explore.” I am starting to believe this was the soul mission I chose before I even arrived here.

When the Lioness Arrives

I had been summoning archangels and ascended masters to support my self-reiki, but I did not expect Sekhmet to answer the call.

I saw her in the astral. She appeared with a weight that demanded my full attention. To understand her is to understand power in its rawest form.

Sekhmet was the “Eye of Ra,” sent to Earth as a warrior to purge corruption. Ra felt that humanity was plotting against him because humanity was turning its back on the light and had stopped respecting divine order because Ra was turning old. He sent his daughter Hathor to punish them, but she transformed into a lioness, the most destructive form of the eye of Ra. She was sent to restore divine order. Legend says her rage was so absolute that the Nile ran red, and she only stopped when she was tricked into drinking beer dyed to look like blood. Only then did she regain compassion for humanity.

She is fiercely protective, but she is not a “gentle” guide. She offers a sharp, necessary slap to the face if you are ignoring your purpose. Her arrival turned my shadow work into an inferno. If I had not already done the conscious mental prep, these dreams would have been pretty tough in my waking life.

A warning for those curious: Do not call upon these forces unless you are ready to look directly into the mirror. Alignment is your only protection when you choose to explore these depths. Slow but steady, baby steps.

The Boat and the Container

I suspect Sokar brought her in to do the heavy lifting and for that I need to share a little back story also on Sokar and his connection to Sekhmet is that the main God of Memphis was Ptah (the Creator). He was famously married to Sekhmet. However, because Sokar was also a major God of that same region, he and Ptah eventually “merged” into a single powerful deity known as Ptah-Sokar.

Because of this merger, Sekhmet is often considered the consort (wife) of Sokar as well. In many ancient texts and temple carvings, they are treated as a divine pair: The Creator/Underworld Guide (Ptah-Sokar) and the Fierce Protector (Sekhmet).

Both Gods play a massive role in the “Opening of the Mouth” ceremony. This was a ritual used to “wake up” a soul or a statue so it could eat, breathe, and speak in the afterlife.

• Sokar is the master of the ritual, cleaning the mouth and preparing the soul. (He prepared my vessel)

• Sekhmet provides the Sekhem (the raw power or life force) to make the activation stick. (She brought the fire to transform it)

Back to my dream…

Immediately after I asked him for guidance, I found myself on a boat covered in ancient runes. We were ferrying fearful souls toward the afterlife. It was a silent, somber message: Prepare to go deeper.

I accepted the invitation. I told the universe I was ready.

First, I saw mer-lions in a separate dream. Deep under a dark water, calling me to go in without my realising I had to dive down. A little hint of her in these beings…

Then another night, she appeared. She towered over me, a massive presence, yet she held a “container” of stillness for me to do the work. I kept trying to remember if she said anything, but she didn’t need to. I could feel her energy and that it was protective but giving big sister vibes “you called so you’d better do the work, I’ll keep watch”.

In this dream, I was reviewing my first job in London. I felt a wave of compassion for my younger self, wishing I could tell her she would be okay. I felt the weight of my current fertility journey and the immense pressure I have put on myself to “succeed.”

Then came the cleansing. I was in a shower, wearing infinite layers of clothes. I peeled them away, layer after layer, but they never seemed to end. When a child and a grandmother entered the room seeking help, I realised the lesson. Even when we are scrubbing away our own shadows, we must remain a sanctuary for others. I was washing away the wreckage of my past to make room for unconditional compassion.

I had dreams that followed after where I would see my face totally warped and morphed into something almost infested, yet I could look at myself as a 3rd person and enough lucidity to tell myself that it wasn’t real. The message was to have discernment between your reality and other people’s reality.

My husband would no longer want me too and I was able to tell myself that those thoughts were also not real from the lessons I learnt about discernment. I’d watch the situation change in front of my eyes, I’d feel a sense of love. He would come back.

The Great Pyramid Energy Portal

The messages soon shifted from the personal to the collective. I found myself inside the Great Pyramid of Giza. The crawl spaces were tiny, hot, and vivid.

Small, animal-like beings were working inside, dog-like but with a feline grace. It felt less like a burial chamber and more like a technical reactivation of a portal. My logical mind tried to tell me I was just projecting, but I pushed back. I asked three times: “What are you showing me?” On the third ask, the answer rang out with total clarity:

“The pyramid is being turned on so others can come again.”

Whether this is a literal reactivation of ancient temples or a metaphor for a shift in human consciousness, the energy was undeniable. The temples are waking up. Maybe not in this realm, but perhaps in the astral.

The Test of Sovereignty

When I ask Sekhmet for guidance, she gives me a test. My most recent dream reached back into old, jagged wounds.

The dream used the faces of friends I adore, but it gave them the voices of the bullies from my childhood. I was being accused of gossip and lies. In the past, I would have crumbled. I would have questioned my own reality just to be accepted.

But this time, I felt the Lioness behind me. I held my ground. I told my friend that she could either trust my character or let the friendship go. It was gut-wrenching to face the loss of someone I love, but I refused to take accountability for a lie. Plot twist, she didn’t leave me, she ended up saying perhaps she wasn’t doing the best job as a friend to me and needed to reflect herself.

This was Sekhmet’s “tough love.” She was teaching me that I no longer need to shrink myself to fit into a group. I can be kind, and I can be sovereign. I am no longer that girl at school who joins in on the gossip just to belong. I belong to myself now.

Where the Journey Goes Next

Sekhmet’s name literally means “The Powerful One.” She isn’t here to make me feel comfortable, she is here to make me strong. By stripping away the layers of old trauma and the need for external validation, she is helping me find a version of myself that doesn’t need to hide.

The journey through the underworld is heavy and the shadows are long, but with the Lioness by my side, I am so sure I have all the support I need to come out from the shadows and into the light full force.

If you’ve had any experiences with Egyptian deities or energies similar in the astral, this is a safe space to share together.

But what if the thing chasing you in the dark is not a monster? What if it is just a part of you that is tired of being ignored?

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” — Carl Jung

What Truly is Shadow Work?

In the Jungian sense, the shadow is not evil. It is simply the sum of all the parts of ourselves we have pushed into the basement because we deemed them unacceptable, embarrassing, or too much.

Shadow work is not about conquering these parts. It is about integration. When we bring the shadow into the light, we stop being controlled by it. We gain the power to choose how to express those energies rather than letting them leak out sideways in self-sabotage.

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From Being Chased to Facing the Source

I spent years in a metaphorical sprint. In my dreams and my waking anxieties, I felt a constant pressure, a sense of being chased by a dark figure. I would run too slowly, yet never quite get caught, trapped in that heavy feeling of being unable to get away.

As I began to focus on conscious healing, something shifted in the architecture of my subconscious. I realized that the shadow is not outside of me; it is within me. I stopped running. I started fighting, and then, I started speaking to it. When we turn to face the thing chasing me, the monster often shrinks. It often looks less like a predator and more like a lost, younger version of myself.

Why We Integrate Instead of Eliminate

Modern professionals emphasize that repressing the shadow only gives it more fuel. Integration allows for a true transformation of character:

• The Aggressive Shadow: Becomes healthy assertiveness and boundaries.

• The Sad Shadow: Becomes deep empathy and emotional intelligence.

• The Rebellious Shadow: Becomes the courage to innovate.

Conscious Practices: Preparing the Sacred Space

To face the shadow, we must create a bridge between our waking mind and our subconscious.

1. Digital Detox: Avoid social media for at least one hour before bed.

2. Setting the Intention: Before you close your eyes, say, “Tonight, I am ready to see what I have been running from with love and curiosity.”

3. The Meditative Buffer: Spend ten minutes in stillness. I remind myself every night that I am the observer and that my thoughts are my own.

4. The Dream Journal: Write down your dreams immediately upon waking.

Shadow Affirmations for Integration

• I am safe to look at the parts of myself I have hidden away.

• I welcome my shadow back into the light of my awareness with love.

• My shadow is not my enemy; it is a source of my untapped power.

• I release the need to run and choose to stand in my own truth.

• I am the observer of my thoughts and the healer of my soul.

Next time you feel that familiar prickle of shame, or that urge to fix a part of yourself you hate, try a different approach. Do not reach for the armor; reach for curiosity instead.

You do not need to be afraid of the dark. You are the source of the light, the creator and the observer of information and experience.

Read more here on the definitive guide to Jungian Shadow work by Scott Jeffrey

I’d love to hear more about everyone’s shadow experiences and the common themes which come up in the dreams. Whether you’re being chased, you’re pulling things out of your mouth, your partner is cheating on you, etc. These are all far more common than we realise when dealing with anxieties.

Recently, I experienced something that pushed past the boundaries of a standard lucid dream. It was a state of recursive projection. This is essentially an astral projection that happens inside a dream.

“Recursive” implies a process that calls upon itself. In my case:

1. Consciousness (The Physical Self) creates...

2. Consciousness (The Dream Self), which then creates...

3. Consciousness (The Ghost/Observer Self).

It is a feedback loop of awareness. Each layer is “aware” of the layer below it, but functions with more freedom.

I’ve heard a lot of people experiencing a dream within a dream, but this is different. This is not just waking up in one realm, then waking up in another version of that realm, so on and so forth. This is consciously deciding to project out within that realm but being able to experience another astral/lighter version of it, like a ghost.

This experience pulled back the curtain on a profound truth. Our energy is not just a single soul inside a body. It is a series of nested layers, much like a Russian doll, and we can move between them.

Layer 1: The Dream Avatar (The Actor)

In my experience, I started in a complex astral city. I was lucid, meaning I knew I was dreaming, but I was still wearing a dream body. This version of me had my tattoos, wore gym clothes, and felt the social anxieties of the dream world. Many experience this version of lucid dreaming, we’re a character and we can move around making decisions, making friends, etc.

In this layer, you are the actor. You are participating in the story. You have dream physics like telepathy or the ability to log into different dream timelines, but you are still tethered to a specific sense of self. Sometimes you can even wake up and go back to sleep in that exact dream.

Layer 2: The Astral Observer (The Witness)

The shift happened when I decided to log out of that dream character. It was random, I had no idea I could do it but I guess I was totally out of the way of my own mind at that point. Instead of just controlling the dream, I projected out of my dream body.

Suddenly, I was standing in a gym, watching myself get changed. I was no longer the person in the clothes. I was the invisible presence watching that person. I waved my hands in front of my face to check my new form. It was a state of high definition clarity that felt more real than the dream itself.

This is recursive projection. It is the act of divorcing your spirit from your dream persona.

You’re no longer just a dream within a dream, you are able to experience multiple versions of that dream-self which is incredible and genuinely mind-blowing when it happens.

The Realization: Reality is a Frequency

This Inception style exit taught me three key things about how our energy functions:

1. Multiple Separations: We are not just one thing. My physical body was in bed, my dream body was in a gym, and my conscious observer was floating nearby. We are capable of holding multiple layers of awareness simultaneously.

2. The Power of Intent: In this deeper state, I did not need to walk or drive. I used an invisibility cloak I believed I could grab from the collective consciousness through manifestation and even an astral cab driver who knew me to show me the way even though I could walk through doors, I was still needing help. These were not objects. They were tools of intent. When you move into deeper layers of consciousness, manifestation is incredibly fast.

3. The Liquid Nature of Truth: In one part of the dream, I encountered a room where a humanoid being analyzed bodies through a liquid medium. It felt medical and profound. It suggested that our astral health is visible to those on a certain frequency. Our energy carries a signature that cannot be hidden by clothes or dream masks.

Conclusion: Stepping Through the Mirror

Russian doll astral projection is a reminder that we are far more complex than our waking lives suggest. We are the architects, the actors, and the audience all at once.

When you learn to log out of the narrative and observe the you that is dreaming, you realize that reality is not a solid floor we walk on. It is a series of filters. Once you learn how to move through those filters, you realize you were never actually trapped in the dream to begin with.

Further Reading for the Curious

• The Phase: Michael Raduga’s term for the combined state of lucid dreaming and astral projection.

• D-I OBE: Dr. Stephen LaBerge’s Dream-Initiated Out-of-Body Experience, where the dream is used as a launchpad for a deeper exit.

• Dual Consciousness: The psychological term for holding awareness in two bodies at once.

Three Nights Ago: The Choice

It started with a choice. I found myself in a tropical, blue-hued sanctuary, a community that claimed a strange lineage to a breakaway colony of Spain. There, I met a young man with a radiant aura.

In this dream, I wasn’t the “me” I am today. I was an avatar, and I was forced to confront a love so powerful it shattered my worldview. As this man connected my spirit to my body and told me to remember who I am, I transformed. I wasn’t just human. I was a warrior, an X-Men version of myself almost. I chose to stay in that power. See below for the article.

Two Nights Ago: The Sovereignty Test

The next night felt like a test round in a more familiar, hilarious celebrity-laden world. I was a brunette woman being pursued by a controlling Bradley Cooper.

Even in the middle of this power-play relationship, a figure of ultimate authority appeared: Beyoncé. She gave me a directive that has been ringing in my ears ever since. She said to always use your powerful voice to call people by their full names.

It was a lesson in Sovereignty. Whether it is a Hollywood A-lister or a ghost from your past, calling someone by their full name means seeing them exactly as they are. No masks. No projections. No intimidation. It was a practice run for what was coming next.

Last Night: The Protector And Final Boss Fight

Last night, the gloves came off. The dark entities that usually hunt me in my sleep appeared again, but I found my power. I used my voice. I stood my ground.

“I am a being of light,” I told them. “You cannot touch me or anyone else.”

I could see these entities desperately trying to attack within inches of innocent people, but to no avail.

The climax of the dream took me underwater and then into the sky. I found myself underwater saving people from drowning and being attacked by these beings. I could see how they were sensing people, feeding off of fear and struggle.

Perhaps this is a symbol. We must not live in fear; we must find our power to stop this chaos through love and strength. I placed an oxygen bubble around their faces to stop them from panicking so they could get to safety and could not be seen anymore.

Suddenly, I flew at terminal velocity above where my denser dream body was, inside of a train helping others stay calm in the midst of chaos. I found myself in front of the leader of an alien invasion. He was inside of a HUGE floating boat or a ship. I knew he wasn’t a human being; something about his aura was glitching. He saw me coming for him at the last moment, so our hands grabbed each other, face to face.

I can FEEL in my 3D body in my bed the electricity in my hands and the density of his energy. I stared into his eyes and I used my voice:

“YORUBA!”

Suddenly, his face broke away to reveal an ugly, draconian-looking alien.

This is the best representation I could make:

He stopped and let go, looking shocked at me as if I had recalled something he hasn’t heard in centuries. He begged for me not to harm him, but instead to try to work together. Then I woke up.

Connecting to the Mother: Yemoja and the Stars

When I woke up, the word YORUBA wouldn’t leave me. My mind immediately went to Yemoja, the Mother of All. In the dream, I was underwater protecting the silent ones. In my dreams, I had a white dress and blonde hair. Is this my higher-self? Do I have a connection to Yemoja?

The Blueprint?

I’ve been trying to piece together why these names keep resurfacing. When I look at the synchronicities, the picture gets wider:

• SOKAR is the God between the living and the dead in Egypt.

• YEMOJA is the Mother Goddess, the owner of the collective subconscious. She helps people navigate the turbulent emotions that arise from the subconscious.

• My birth chart reading speaks of being a “Bridger of Worlds”. (Pisces Ascendent in 12th house moon, realm of collective unconscious, dreams and Scorpio sun in 8th house for transformation, death, rebirth and psychological mystery.)

• Blue beings keep appearing to me, both holographically and in these astral worlds.

Here I am, talking about my insane dreams on Substack as if this is just totally normal. Is this a blueprint I’m following? Is YEMOJA a guide? It could just be my entire imagination. Either I’m going crazy or I am making weird connections, but it just FEELS so strange, like there is an arrow pointing in a direction that my human mind is resisting because it seems so…non-human.

It also makes me wonder if the ancient beliefs of the Yoruba people are actually a distant memory of a visitation. Did we see blonde star beings in the sky and call them angels? Is my higher self returning to protect the collective from the beings who hide behind human masks? Is this connected somehow to Atlantis, Egypt, and Yoruba?

Nonetheless, the message is clear…

You have power, don’t let anyone take that away from you. Use your voice and don’t let go of your sovereignty.

If you’ve ever had a dream that felt more like a memory, or a “name” that kept you up for days, tell me below. I think we’re all starting to remember something.

I’m still utterly blown away by the experience.

Last night, what started as a stressful travel mishap transformed into a radical soul merger. It began with the anxiety of being left behind. I missed a flight in a version of Moldova that felt more like a gateway than a country. My husband made the flight while I did not. The next flight? 2 weeks away. YIKES!

In the dream world, missing a flight often signals that the soul is being redirected toward a path the conscious mind is not ready for.

I found myself on a bus, wandering through a landscape under construction with a group of people.

I guess you could call it somewhat of a side-quest.

I tell everyone we should get off the bus or we’ll be too far away from the nearest city. We’re in a a tropical cove being carved into a tourist destination.

I’m upset.

How could we damage so much nature?

Alas, I see the rain on the horizon over the ocean and I run to gather everyone to take shelter under a small cover.

“We can't stay here, we need to seek real shelter”.

So we move on towards the nearest village.

The Blue Sanctuary

As we approach this village, I see a church.

The members are running outside in white robes.

Inside, the walls were the colour of a mid-day sky, a saturated baby blue that seemed to hum with energy. This was the home of a displaced community, a group that carried the ancient echoes of the Yoruba people. They spoke of a strange breakaway history, a pocket of culture that defied the map. “Sleep here,” they said. “The floor is good for the spine.”

From that moment on, something changed. As if I went through a portal.

Reconnecting My Soul

As we lay there, I hear the singing of gospel in the other room.

A man walks over and calls just me to go with him.

I begin to sing!

As I opened my mouth to sing, the sound was not my own. It was angelic, a shimmering vibration that belonged to a different avatar. I looked down at my hands and saw long, blonde hair falling like silk. My spirit was no longer contained. It hovered above, watching this new version of myself with a sense of awe.

(this song is roughly how high I was singing, I can still feel how much it pierces my ears!)

Then…he was there, a young man with skin like moonlight and an aura that felt ancient.

I had to google in the morning the relation to Albinos in the Yoruba and I couldn’t believe it. In the tradition of the Yoruba, he would be called an Àfín. To his people, he belongs to Obatala, the Orisha who fashions humans from clay. He is not a mistake, but a sacred creation, a direct signature of the god of white cloth and divine purity according to the Yoruba. Unfortunately, Albinos have also been mistreated by that community because of their religious beliefs.

We are mesmerised by each other. I can’t stop looking at him and he can’t stop looking at me.

He was a bridge.

He reached out and did something profound. He gathered the loose threads of my spirit above this new body and wove them back into the flesh.

The moment the connection held, I transformed.

He says “You are her, she is you. You must remember”

Gemstones erupted across my skin like a suit of living armor. I became a warrior of light, encrusted in jewels, standing in the power of a self I had never dared to imagine.

The Heart’s Resistance

There is a strange grief in outgrowing your own ego. This new version of me carried old shadows. She carried biases and a resistance to the very love that was saving her. I felt my energy split. One half of me reached back toward my husband and my old life, while the other was pulled into the gravity of this young man.

He was obsessed with the song I carried. He saw the gemstone warrior, not the woman who missed her flight.

I stood there, caught between the urge to return home and the realization that I had finally arrived. In the astral, we are rarely just one thing. We are the singer and the song. We are the traveler and the destination.

This man was not separate from me, but he was representing the masculine side of me.

A remembrance to be complete in myself and to remember the magic within me…and you must remember too.

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