If I were to distill the most important things I’ve learned about managing people over the past 45 years into their simplest terms, what would I tell them? It was a tough task, but also an awesome opportunity for a blank sheet of paper and some quiet reflection.

No management-guru philosophies, just the lessons I believe matter most for anyone entrusted with leading people.

I divided those lessons into two categories: what leaders need to understand about their people and what leaders need to expect from themselves.

Part One focused on people: being vulnerable, knowing people personally, protecting the culture, creating space for quieter voices, making work fun, and building confidence in others.

This week is about YOU.

The important questions are: How do you conduct yourself as a leader? What example do you set? How do you respond when circumstances become difficult?

Leaders set the tone, whether they intend to or not. People watch what we do. They notice what we prioritize, what we tolerate, how well we prepare, and whether our actions match our words.

In my experience, here are five responsibilities I believe every leader must personally own.

Keep Learning

Learning is a competitive advantage.

The world changes too quickly for leaders to rely solely on what worked for them in the past. Industries evolve, technology advances, customer expectations shift, and new generations enter the workforce with different experiences and ideas.

Experience is valuable, but only when it remains paired with curiosity and a willingness to experiment.

As leaders become more experienced, it can be easy to start answering more questions than we ask. We have seen a lot, solved plenty of problems, and developed instincts that have served us well. But experience can also create blind spots. What worked before, may not be the best answer today.

Keep reading. Attend conferences. Listen to podcasts. Participate in professional groups. Learn from people in other industries. Most importantly, listen to the people around you — including those who are younger or less experienced than you. For 10-plus years, I was part of a REX Roundtable with 17 other great club operators. My eyes were opened to countless ideas from the facilitator and from the group members that I never would have gotten on my own. I still network with several of those people today.

Continued learning keeps you sharp and adaptable. It also makes leadership more interesting. There is always another idea to consider, another skill to develop, and another assumption worth testing.

The moment we believe we have leadership completely figured out is probably the moment we most need to learn something new.

Know the Business Better Than Anyone

You don’t need to perform every job better than the people doing it, but you should understand how the entire business works.

Know your numbers. Understand what drives revenue and expenses. Know what levers to pull when the situation calls for it. Track performance over time and act quickly when correction is necessary. Pay attention to your customers, competitors, and industry trends.

Don’t depend on someone else to tell you what is happening in the business, go out and see for yourself.

As leaders move into higher positions, it can be tempting to distance themselves from operational details and focus only on strategy. But good strategy must be grounded in a clear understanding of reality.

Numbers don’t tell you everything, but they can tell you where to look and what questions to ask. Why is one area improving while another is slipping? What are your customers telling you? What changes are your competitors making? Where are the opportunities, and where might risk be developing?

Knowing the business builds credibility with your team. People are more likely to trust a decision when they know it is based on more than instinct or opinion. It also helps you to see where support is needed.

An informed leader can explain not only what decision was made, but why it makes sense. The more you understand the business, the better prepared you are to help everyone else succeed.

Coach People Fearlessly

Be kind, but be direct. Of all the management principles I have learned, this may be the one leaders struggle with most.

We avoid difficult conversations because we are afraid of how someone might react. We soften the message until it is no longer clear. We hint at a problem and hope the other person figures out what we mean.

Sometimes we convince ourselves that we are protecting the relationship. In reality, we are often protecting ourselves from an uncomfortable conversation.

I cannot think of a time when avoiding a problem with an associate made it smaller.

It allows frustration to grow, standards to slip, and the eventual conversation to become even more difficult. It can also create resentment (culture killer) among other team members who see the problem and wonder why their leader is unwilling to address it.

People deserve to know where they stand. They deserve clear expectations, specific feedback, and an honest opportunity to improve.

Being direct does not mean being harsh or mean. You can tell someone the truth while still treating them with dignity and respect. In fact, having an honest conversation is often a greater act of respect than allowing someone to continue struggling without clearly understanding the issue.

To be a good leader, it’s vital that you know your people. When you have done that and have a solid foundation, the person understands you care enough to help them get better, rather than being critical. Looking back, I can see where not being direct enough caused many more issues than coaching fearlessly.

Fearless coaching means being willing to enter an uncomfortable conversation because helping the person — and protecting the team — matters more than avoiding a difficult moment.

A favorite Brené Brown quote in my family is “clear is kind.” Avoidance is not.

Build Your Network

Relationships create opportunities, but the best networks are built long before an opportunity is needed.

I mentioned my experience with REX Roundtables. This was a great way to build my network. Other ways to build your network: Attend industry events and do the hard work. Introduce yourself to people. Participate in discussions. Share what you know and look for ways to help. You have to be willing to take a risk and put yourself out there. We tend to think everyone else has it figured out, when in reality most of us are struggling with a lot of the same issues.

A great source for network building for me was with the many sales reps and outside vendors I have had the opportunity to interact with. This group is a great source for information and introductions to others.

Networking sometimes earns a negative reputation because it can feel transactional — collecting contacts or connecting with people primarily because of what they might be able to do for you. The question I like to ask is:

How might I be helpful to this person?

Over time, genuine relationships become an extraordinary resource. They expose you to new ideas, introduce you to different perspectives, provide guidance during difficult decisions, and create opportunities you may never have known existed.

Many of the best opportunities in my career came through relationships. But those relationships mattered long before the opportunities appeared.

Build your network by being interested, helpful, and consistent. Don’t wait until you need something to begin investing in people outside your organization.

When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Things will not always go your way.

You won’t get every promotion. Your idea won’t always be selected. A talented employee may leave. A project may fail. A decision may be made that you strongly disagree with.

You are allowed to be disappointed. You just can’t stay stuck there. One of the most important leadership skills is learning how to absorb a setback without allowing it to define what happens next.

People are watching closely during those moments. They want to see how you respond when the plan changes, the numbers disappoint, or the decision doesn’t go in your favor.

Do you complain? Blame someone else? Withdraw your effort? Allow your disappointment to affect the team?

Or do you acknowledge the setback, accept the reality of the situation and begin moving forward? A question that has helped me is:

What is the next right action based on the information available to us now?

It might be seeking feedback, revising the plan, repairing a relationship, testing an assumption that was made, or simply returning the next day with a positive attitude and a willingness to try again.

You don’t have to solve everything at once. You only need enough clarity to take the next productive step. Progress comes from momentum, not perfection.

How you respond when things don’t go your way tells people far more about your leadership than how you behave when everything is going well.

The Example You Set

Leadership is not only about what you bring out in other people. It is also about what you continue to develop within yourself.

Keep learning. Know the business. Have the difficult conversations. Invest in relationships. When setbacks happen, focus on the next right action.

Your team is always taking cues from you.

If you remain curious, they are more likely to keep learning. If you understand the business, they will take preparation more seriously. If you address difficult issues directly, they will know that standards matter. If you invest in relationships, they will see the value of helping others. If you respond to setbacks with purpose, they will learn to do the same.

Over 45 years of managing people, I’ve learned that sound leadership principles don’t have to be complicated.

Know your people. Continue developing yourself. The example you set through your everyday behaviors may be the most powerful leadership lesson you ever teach.

People + You = Better Leadership.

In case you missed it Last Week’s Part 1

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No management guru philosophies, just the things I think are the most important for anyone leading people. Sound management principles don’t have to be complicated, but people are complex. Every person arrives with different experiences, motivations, strengths, insecurities, communication styles, and ambitions. There is no single management formula that works for everyone.

But I believe the principles that guide good leadership are surprisingly consistent.

I think of them in two categories: what leaders need to understand about their people and what leaders need to expect from themselves.

This is the first article in a two-part series. We’ll begin with the people you have been entrusted to lead.

Be Vulnerable

Early in my management career, I thought leaders were supposed to have all the answers. Experience eventually taught me otherwise.

The best leaders are confident enough to admit when they are wrong, curious enough to ask for help, and secure enough to seek honest feedback. They don’t pretend to know something they don’t, and they don’t view every disagreement as a challenge to their authority.

Saying “I was wrong,” “I don’t know,” or “What am I missing?” doesn’t diminish your credibility. When sincere, those words build credibility. I learned that the people around me usually already knew when I was wrong. Admitting it didn’t expose a weakness — it showed them I was self-aware enough to recognize it.

Vulnerability lets people know that honesty is safe. When leaders acknowledge their own mistakes, other people are more willing to speak up, take responsibility, and learn from theirs. You don’t build trust by appearing perfect. You build it by being honest.

Know Your People Personally

You cannot manage everyone the same way because everyone is not motivated by the same things.

Some people want public recognition. Others would find it embarrassing. Some want frequent feedback and reassurance. Others prefer greater independence. Some are energized by a new challenge, while others need time and support before stepping outside their comfort zone.

Your job as a leader is to learn the difference of your team members. This can sometimes be thought of as a waste of time. I think it’s one of the best time investments I can make.

It requires much more than knowing someone’s title, responsibilities, and performance numbers. It means understanding what matters to them, how they prefer to communicate, what gives them confidence, and what might be happening in their life outside of work.

This doesn’t mean crossing personal boundaries. It means caring enough to see the person behind the position. The better you know your people, the better equipped you are to put them in situations where they can succeed.

Strong relationships don’t compete with strong performance, they help create it.

Culture Matters The Most

Not every person is right for every team. This is probably the toughest of all the concepts.

Someone can be talented and productive yet still have a negative effect on the people around them. Leaders sometimes tolerate destructive behavior because an individual produces good results, has specialized knowledge, or would be difficult to replace. The clearest examples I’ve seen have involved salespeople. I have managed incredibly successful salespeople who could not be trusted by their teammates. They routinely acted in their own best interests, often at the expense of the team and sometimes the customer.

It is difficult to send a high performer away, but tolerating that behavior comes with an even greater cost.

Every hiring decision shapes your culture. Every behavior you recognize shapes your culture. And every behavior you repeatedly overlook shapes it too.

Culture isn’t determined by the values printed on the wall. It is revealed by what happens in the room — how people communicate, how they handle disagreements, whether they help one another, and how they behave when the leader isn’t present.

One question I believe every leader should ask about their team member regularly is:

How is that individual contributing to the culture of this team?

Culture is not something leaders create and employees experience. Everyone contributes to it, but leaders establish what will be encouraged, rewarded, and tolerated.

Quiet People Have a Lot to Say

The loudest voice in the room is not necessarily the one with the best idea.

In meetings, confident and quick-thinking people often speak first. Once they do, the conversation can begin moving in their direction before everyone else has had a chance to think. Meanwhile, quieter team members may be processing the discussion, waiting for an opening, or deciding whether their perspective is welcome.

I have learned, as a leader, that I have to deliberately create that opening.

Great leaders ask people what they think. They pause and create space before moving on. I would sometimes give people a pre-read before a discussion begins or speak privately with someone who may be less comfortable contributing in a group.

This isn’t about putting quiet people on the spot. It’s about ensuring that participation is not reserved for those most comfortable claiming the floor. Some of the most thoughtful observations and ideas I’ve heard during my career came from people who needed to be invited into the conversation or just needed a few moments to consider all the options.

Inclusion isn’t simply about making people feel good. It leads to better ideas and better decisions.

Make Work Fun

Work is serious, but that doesn’t mean it always has to feel serious.

People spend a significant portion of their lives at work. They want to accomplish meaningful things, but they also want to enjoy the people around them and feel some positive energy during the day.

The important thing is to let your team help define what fun looks like.

I know I have planned an activity I personally enjoy and was later surprised when the team didn’t respond enthusiastically. Fun cannot be mandated, and one person’s idea of fun may feel like an obligation to someone else.

I found the best way is to ask your people what they would enjoy. Give different individuals opportunities to contribute ideas. It could be a celebration, a competition, a team outing, a shared meal, or simply creating more room for laughter during the workday. That goes a long way to people actually enjoying the time together.

Fun does not replace accountability or high standards. It makes the effort required to meet those standards more sustainable. Energy is contagious. Leaders have a responsibility to help create the kind worth spreading.

Build Confidence in Others

I believe one of the most important things a leader can give another person is confidence. Confidence affects whether people speak up, volunteer for an opportunity, attempt something difficult, recover from a mistake, or begin seeing themselves as capable of more.

Leaders build confidence by providing clarity, encouragement, honest feedback, and opportunities to grow. They recognize progress, not just perfect outcomes. They challenge people without making them feel as though one mistake will permanently define them. Great leaders recognize the potential in people and create an environment in which it can grow.

This doesn’t mean offering empty praise. People know the difference between sincere encouragement and words that haven’t been earned.

Real confidence develops when someone is given a meaningful responsibility, receives the support needed to succeed, and discovers that they are capable of doing something they weren’t sure they could do. Sometimes a leader sees potential in someone before that person can see it in themselves. Helping people discover it is one of the most rewarding parts of leadership.

The People Side of Leadership

These six principles all come back to the same idea: people perform better when they feel known, trusted, included, supported, and valued.

But leadership is not only about what you bring out in other people. It is also about what you continue to develop within yourself.

That is where we’ll go in Part Two next week: the habits and responsibilities leaders must personally own. See you then.

If like this article you will probably also like “Why Gen Z is Raising The Bar For Leaders”

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We all have the choice to invite people in, or not. Here are a few examples of why I think it’s important to exercise the invitation option.

The first example, which is near and dear to my heart, involves inviting others to participate in an athletic event. My wife and I were planning to run a half marathon in Southern California, and I had the idea to extend an invitation to our extended family members who lived in the area.

No one else in the family is a runner, per se, but the race offered a 5K option. Much to my surprise, seven family members said yes and signed up. Most of them had never participated in an organized run before, and they had a wonderful time doing a run/walk followed by a big family breakfast.

A simple invitation turned a race into a wonderful family gathering and a groundbreaking experience for several people. Two of the couples have gone on to participate in several other events and have invited others to join them, creating a nice ripple effect from that single invitation.

The second impactful example happens in the work environment. It may be an internal meeting or an off-site conference, but we have all experienced being the “outsider,” when we don’t know many people and are pretty much on our own.

We have also experienced being the “insider.” We may have high status at the meeting, or we may be rolling with a big crew at a conference and feel quite comfortable.

I have always found it gratifying to seek out people who are on their own and open my circle to them. At several Club Solutions events, quite a few participants were attending for the first time. I made it my mission to seek out the people who did not look comfortable, invite them to join our group or table, introduce them to others, and generally help them feel seen and cared for.

Others have done the same for me plenty of times, and I am always grateful when I am on that side of the situation.

The third example may be a little less obvious, but it is nevertheless very impactful: the power of the wedding invitation.

My wife and I are at the age when our kids’ friends are getting married and starting families of their own. We are always honored when we receive one of these invitations because we know how difficult it is to create a wedding guest list and how much thought goes into every name written down.

It always feels wonderful to be asked to witness one of the most important days in a person’s life and to share such a memorable experience with them. Do not send us a courtesy invitation, because we will show up — and we are going to dance.

The next time you have an opportunity to invite or include someone, stop and think about what may be giving you pause.

We often underestimate what an invitation can set in motion. We assume someone isn’t interested, isn’t ready, or already has somewhere else to be. So we don’t ask.

But an invitation can lead to a first finish line, a new friendship, a greater sense of belonging, or a memory someone carries for years. It may even inspire that person to extend the next invitation.

Have you ever received an invitation that had a meaningful impact on you? If so, what was it, and have you paid it forward?

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I’ve reached one of the highest tier levels in their system, I’ve recommended the product to at least a dozen people and over the years I have been a huge advocate.

Recently, the product wasn’t recording consistently. I contacted customer support, and to their credit, they were efficient. They quickly diagnosed the issue and sent me a link to their online store where I could purchase the inexpensive replacement part. That was it. This was their opportunity to go beyond just solving the problem and acknowledge my years of loyalty and support of their product. I received none of that. Although disappointing this experience really got me thinking about the fragile mature of loyalty in all its forms.

Loyalty isn’t built during the easy moments, it’s built — or lost — in moments just like these.

Loyalty isn’t necessarily measured by how long someone has been around. Even if a customer has been around a long time, it could also just mean there has not been a suitable replacement yet. Loyalty is subjectively measured by whether we feel seen as a human and if we can get the help we need at the time we need it. As I reflected on that interaction, I found myself looking at competing products. Not because mine wasn’t working, but because the emotional connection had taken a hit. I felt like I cared more about them then they did about me, and that didn’t feel good.

That got me thinking about loyalty in a much broader sense beyond a company and the very important relationships we have, like with our team or employer, our friends, and even our significant other. In all relationships, loyalty is something that’s built and earned in the moments that matter the most.

Early in my management career, I had a boss who seemed to know exactly when someone needed encouragement. She noticed when people were struggling. She celebrated wins and milestones with fun and sincerity. She checked in when she noticed someone was down.

None of those things appeared on a performance dashboard directly. Every one of us on her team would have run through a wall for her because we all knew how much she cared for each one of us. We were more than willing to work extra hours and go above and beyond on any project.

Loyalty Is Emotional

We often confuse retention with loyalty.

In business, we celebrate customer retention rates, employee tenure, renewal percentages, and repeat purchases. Those are important metrics, but they only tell us people stayed, it doesn’t address why they stayed. Retention is the result, loyalty is the cause.

Real loyalty isn’t always logical, sometimes it’s emotional and even irrational. It’s why some people will drive past three coffee shops to visit the one where they feel the most valued. It’s why people recommend a company without being asked because they want to share how the company makes them feel.

The strongest relationships are built on connection and affiliation. A person or company makes me feel good, therefore I feel I am a part of their tribe even if it’s not necessarily rational.

Loyalty Extends Far Beyond Business

The same principle applies almost everywhere in life. Think about friendships.

Rarely does a friendship end because of one dramatic event. More often it fades because someone stops calling, stops checking in, or stops asking questions. The relationship slowly shifts from being intentional to being assumed.

Employers experience the same thing. Employees don’t become loyal because of a great orientation. They become loyal because a leader invested in them, remembered their goals, supported them during difficult times, and made them feel like they mattered.

Likewise, leaders earn loyalty by consistently demonstrating integrity, fairness, and genuine care for the people around them.

Even marriages thrive on the same foundation. Small moments of appreciation consistency, attention, and always making the other feel valued.

It’s about the people, the relationships, and caring enough to put in the effort.

The Danger of Indifference

The opposite of loyalty isn’t leaving. It’s indifference. Sometimes there isn’t a suitable alternative at the time so the person stays in the relationship until the moment there is an opportunity to change. Indifference slowly erodes what years of positive experiences have built.

A customer who once felt appreciated begins to feel like an account number. An employee who once felt inspired starts feeling replaceable. A friend who once felt important begins wondering if they’re still part of your life.

Most loyalty isn’t lost through one big blow out. It’s lost through dozens of ordinary moments when people stop feeling seen and cared about.

Loyalty Is Built One Interaction at a Time

Every organization says people are their greatest asset. The organizations that earn lasting loyalty prove it by:

• Recognizing long-term customers

• Celebrating milestones

• Noticing when someone hasn’t been around and reaching out

• Remembering names

• Responding with urgency when loyal customers need help.

Most importantly, they treat people like individuals instead of transactions.

Technology and AI can support the process of recognizing loyalty but loyalty will always be built through human connection and through thousands of ordinary interactions that quietly communicate one simple message:

You matter here.

And once people truly believe that, they’ll often stay longer than logic alone can explain.

Your Challenge

Somewhere in your life is someone who has quietly been loyal to you for years. Maybe it’s your spouse, a customer, an employee or a friend. This week, don’t assume they know you appreciate them, tell them.

Loyalty isn’t strengthened by time, it’s strengthened by effort and recognition.

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One word kept surfacing throughout the discussion.

Community.

Every panelist agreed the future belongs to health clubs that build genuine communities rather than simply selling access to equipment and amenities. Having excellent service within a club is no longer enough.

It’s a wonderful idea. The challenge is that “building community” has become one of those phrases that looks great on a strategic plan but is much harder to create in real life.

Then, a few days later, I was reading the July issue of Health & Fitness Business, and the issue is almost entirely devoted to community. It highlights clubs creating multi-generational loyalty, using HYROX to strengthen member relationships, funding innovative community health initiatives, and designing facilities that help people feel welcome from the moment they walk through the door.

Reading those stories, it struck me that the fitness industry may be reaching an inflection point. For years, success was measured by how impressive the building was. Bigger fitness floors, newer equipment and more amenities.

Today, I think the conversation is shifting. What if the competitive advantage isn’t having the biggest facility packed with the most amenities? What if it’s creating a community people genuinely want to be part of? And what if the best path to fostering and growing that community is by consistently delivering meaningful experiences?

That philosophy is exactly what inspired me to create the Pleasanton Fitness Club. The idea is intentionally simple: meet people where they are.

Not everyone is ready to join a gym. Many people are simply fitness curious.

They know they should be more active, but they don’t know where to start or worry they won’t fit in.

So instead of asking them to come to a building that may be intimidating, why not meet them in the community, on neutral ground?

Imagine earning badges for completing local walking routes, joining guided hikes in nearby parks, participating in beginner-friendly outdoor workouts, or taking part in monthly family adventure challenges. Add a coffee stop afterward, introduce people to one another, and suddenly you’re creating something much bigger than exercise.

You’re creating belonging. These activities become the perfect on-ramp for someone taking their first step toward a healthier lifestyle. The best part is that none of this requires a multimillion-dollar capital project.

A modest marketing budget, a passionate team member aligned with the mission, and a commitment to showing up consistently can create tremendous goodwill and generate hundreds of meaningful conversations with people who otherwise would never enter a gym. Now imagine if every health club in America adopted a similar approach.

Every event becomes an opportunity to meet people where they are, without asking them to buy anything first. It humanizes the health club experience. Prospective members meet the staff, experience the culture, and build relationships with existing members long before they ever consider joining.

Ironically, by focusing less on selling memberships and more on serving the community, a community-based health club could end up creating more memberships than traditional marketing ever could.

People often join a gym because they want to get healthier. They stay because they’ve found people who make them want to come back.

The future of the health club industry isn’t going to be merely about being the biggest or having the most anything. It may belong to the clubs that are willing to step out into the community and become a trusted partner and participant in people’s health and wellness journey.

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Along with that title came a sizable capital budget and the authority to make purchasing decisions that affected dozens of companies. My phone rang often, emails were returned almost immediately, vendors wanted to meet, and people wanted lunch.

At the time, it was easy to believe those were personal relationships rather than relationships built around the position I held. Then one day, the time holding the title came to an end.

Something else came to an end with it. Some people who had seemed eager to stay connected, quietly drifted away, some faster than others. It’s completely understandable and the situation gave me a wonderful opportunity for growth and was one of the best leadership lessons I had ever received. It forced me to separate my identity from the position I held.

Recently, I read a story about Pete Carroll in the Peak Newsletter and it struck me. Pete Carroll has spent decades helping athletes and coaches discover something far more important than a winning strategy — he helps them discover themselves. His belief is simple: before you can lead others effectively, you have to know who you are. By identifying the values and principles that define you and expressing them in a clear personal philosophy, you develop an authenticity and consistency that no job title, promotion, championship, or setback can take away.

For any of us in leadership positions, in order to be effective, we have to master the hard skills. Over time, we get better at the technical side of the job. We learn budgets, hiring, strategy, presentations, negotiations, and decision making. Those skills matter.

But the longer I study leadership, the more convinced I’ve become that people aren’t looking for a technically perfect leader. They’re looking for an authentic one. More importantly, we need to know who we are as people, continue embrace what we are good at, and be real about what we are not so good at. Two of the best leaders I have worked with for many years and have remained friends with to this day, are Brian A. and Jarod C.. They couldn't be more different. Their personalities, communication styles, and approaches to leadership are almost opposites. Yet both built tremendous trust because they never tried to be someone else. Everyone on their teams knew exactly who they were and exactly what they stood for. This is exactly what Pete Carroll was teaching his coaches.

Every title I’ve ever held has eventually changed. That’s just the reality of working in corporations. Now that I no longer have an official title, I’ve been working on something much more permanent. That is becoming the fullest expression of who I was created to be and what I want to accomplish. My goal today is to help people discover that they're capable of more than they believe and encourage them to enjoy the benefits of movement and exercise.

Titles come and go, but our identity is the foundation that gives us the courage and confidence to keep moving forward, and to positively impact others in a meaningful way.

Reflection: If your title disappeared tomorrow, what would still be true about you?

That’s probably the best place to begin discovering who you really are.

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I’ve ridden road bikes for years, averaging about 450 miles each month, but this was something completely different. A few years ago, I entered a gravel race and it didn’t exactly go as planned. I crashed, hard enough to earn myself a trip to the hospital in Bentonville, Arkansas, a fast pass into emergency surgery, and 17 stitches in my arm.

So it’s fair to say I approached this new bike with a little baggage. But as I wrote about last week, I needed to test my assumptions about what a gravel bike could offer me.

On my first few rides, I quickly realized my trail riding skills weren’t nearly as sharp as I needed them to be. Many years ago, when I was doing adventure races, mountain bikes were a big part of my life. But those skills don’t just hang around waiting to be used. They leave you. Loose gravel, steep ascents, tighter turns, suddenly I wasn’t just grinding miles, I was being challenged mentally and physically and I was learning again.

It was humbling, but something unexpected happened. I couldn’t wait to go ride again. Not because I wanted a better workout, because I was having so much fun. It reminded me of something I think we’ve gotten backwards about exercise. We spend so much time asking, “What’s the best workout?” “How can I burn the most calories?” The better question might be:

“What’s the workout you’ll actually look forward to doing again?”

After spending more than 30 years in the health and fitness industry, I’ve come to believe consistency has very little to do with willpower or fleeting motivation, and almost everything to do with enjoyment.

The people who stay active for decades aren’t necessarily the most disciplined people I know. They’re the people who’ve discovered forms of movement they genuinely enjoy. Because when you enjoy something, you don’t have to convince yourself to do it. You simply look forward to doing it again.

Enjoyment Is The Reason, Not A Bonus

We’ve been taught that if exercise isn’t hard, it probably isn’t working. “No pain, no gain.” Push harder, grind it out.

While there’s certainly a place for challenging yourself, and goodness knows I enjoy a super hard workout, I think we’ve confused hard with effective.

The best exercise program isn’t the hardest one. It’s the one you’ll happily repeat hundreds of times over the next 10 years because you want to and not because you have to. With this mindset, time spent in the gym has a completely different purpose. It’s no longer the destination, it’s preparation for the adventures I enjoy outside of it. I still love lifting weights and pushing myself, but the gym itself isn’t the destination, it’s the training ground.

Strength training helps me ride longer. Core work helps me stay balanced on loose gravel. Mobility keeps me comfortable on long rides and hikes. Instead of exercising just to exercise, I’m exercising so I can do the things I love even better. That’s where the real results come from.

Variety Keeps Exercise Fresh

Buying a gravel bike reminded me how energizing it is to be a beginner again. Learning new skills gave me something I’d been missing on some of my familiar rides: curiosity.

Instead of simply trying to ride farther or faster, I found myself looking forward to exploring trails I’ve seen but never ridden, mastering corners, choosing better lines through loose gravel, and becoming a more confident rider.

Sometimes we don’t need a tougher workout. We need a new and engaging challenge. At that point the workout takes care of itself. That might mean hiking instead of walking. Trying a rowing machine instead of another treadmill session. Taking a yoga class or dusting off a sport you haven’t played in years. The change itself can reignite your enthusiasm.

The People Matter Just as Much

I’ve noticed something else. The exact same walk can feel completely different depending on who I’m walking with. When my friend Bryan and I go for a walk, we exchange ideas, laugh, and challenge each other’s thinking. Another friend brings out completely different conversations. The distance and exercise may not change, but the experience does.

The people around us add variety that no workout program can. Some encourage us, while some challenge us. That’s one of the reasons community is so powerful. It transforms exercise from something we have to do into something we look forward to sharing before, during, and after.

Don’t Be Afraid to Try Something New

One of the best examples of this is pickleball. It’s hard to think of another activity that’s grown so quickly while remaining so welcoming to beginners. Our local parks have beautiful courts, introductory lessons, and drop-in play where complete strangers quickly become teammates.

You get your heart rate up, you laugh, you meet new people, and you learn something new. Plus, you sharpen your mind as much as your reflexes. That’s a pretty remarkable combination.

Maybe pickleball isn’t your thing, maybe it’s golf. That’s okay, the point isn’t to play pickleball. The point is to stay curious until you discover your thing. Last week I wrote about testing our assumptions. Maybe this is another one worth testing.

Before deciding you don’t like yoga...

or pickleball...

or gravel biking...

ask yourself one question:

Have I actually tried it?

Why I Started Pleasanton Fitness Club

When I started Pleasanton Fitness Club, I wasn’t trying to build another exercise program. I want to create opportunities for people to discover a trail they never knew existed, to meet someone new, and to realize exercise doesn’t have to feel like punishment.

My hope is people discover activities or sports they’ll still be doing 10 years from now. I don’t care what people choose, my goal is to open up opportunity and thinking for people to discover new ways to joyfully experience exercise.

Once movement becomes enjoyable, consistency becomes much easier, and consistency changes lives.

The Long Game

The best exercise program isn’t the hardest one. It isn’t the trendiest one. It isn’t the one the influencer is talking about. It’s the one you enjoy enough to keep doing.

So this week, instead of asking yourself, “How can I work out harder?”

Ask a different question.

“How can I make exercise more enjoyable?”

Invite a friend.

Try a new trail.

Learn a new sport.

Become a beginner again.

You may discover that the greatest fitness breakthrough isn’t finding a better workout. It’s finding one you’re excited to do again tomorrow.

Catch Up - Are You Someone People Want On Their Team?

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There are simply too many decisions to make — from the trivial to the life-changing — to analyze every possibility from scratch. We rely on experience, intuition, and patterns we’ve seen before. Our brains are constantly making educated guesses about what will happen if we choose one path over another.

Most of the time, that’s a good thing. But here’s what I’ve been thinking about lately.

One assumption doesn’t exist by itself. It becomes the foundation for the next decision. Then the next, and the next. Before long, an assumption has quietly set off a chain of decisions that take life in that direction.

The problem is, that if the very first assumption is wrong, every decision built on top of it can take you farther away from where you want to be. I learned this lesson the hard way during my years leading a large team.

I had designed the following year’s bonus plan for several managers. There was one manager I found particularly challenging, and before I ever walked into the meeting, I had already decided how I thought the conversation would go. I assumed this person would react defensively and confrontationally.

Because of that assumption, I approached the conversation differently than I had with everyone else. I spent less time explaining the thinking behind the plan and more time preparing for conflict that hadn’t even happened yet. Ironically, my assumption helped create the very outcome I was trying to avoid.

The conversation became tense. Misunderstandings grew. What should have been a straightforward discussion turned into a problem that took far more time and energy to repair than it would have if I had simply approached the meeting with the same openness and respect I gave everyone else.

That experience taught me something I’ve never forgotten. Sometimes we don’t respond to reality. We respond to the story we’ve already written in our heads.

Leadership is full of these moments. We assume someone isn’t ready for more responsibility. We assume a teammate won’t support an idea. We assume a difficult conversation won’t go well.

Sometimes we’re right, but sometimes we’re not. The only way to know is to test the assumption instead of treating it as fact. I find the same thing happens outside of work. How many people have convinced themselves they’re “not athletic”?

How many people say, “There’s no way I could do a 5K,” or “People like me don’t hike mountains,” or “I’ve never been the fitness type”?

Maybe that’s true, but maybe it’s just an assumption that has never been tested. Over the years, our clubs hosted training programs for 5Ks, half marathons, triathlons, hikes, and cycling events. One of my favorite moments was always the finish line.

Time after time, participants would cross the finish line with tears in their eyes. Not because they had won, but because they had proven themselves wrong. Many participants would tell us, “I never thought I could do something like this.”

What changed? Not their genetics or age. They simply became willing to test an assumption they had been carrying for years. With a little guidance, encouragement, and support, they discovered they were capable of far more than they had imagined. I believe that is true for all of us.

I wonder how many opportunities we miss because of assumptions we’ve never challenged. Assumptions about other people, careers, limitations, or about who we are.

Growth often begins with a simple question:

What if I’m wrong?

Not because we should doubt ourselves constantly, but because curiosity creates possibilities that certainty never will.

The Long Game Challenge

The people who crossed those finish lines weren’t different from everyone else. They were simply willing to find out.

This week, become curious. Question one belief you’ve been carrying for years. Then take one small action that would prove it true, or prove it wrong. Either way, you’ll know more about yourself than you did yesterday, and that’s how the long game is won.

You may discover that the only thing standing between you and your next chapter is a belief that was never true in the first place.

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Catch Up on Last Week’s Substack > You will be happy you did.

That can feel discouraging if your New Year’s resolutions have drifted off course. But I actually think this is one of the most valuable weeks of the year. Not because the first six months are over, but because the next six months haven’t happened yet.

Athletes don’t wait until the game is over to make adjustments. They do it at halftime. My good friend John Mannion, a long-time high school football coach and author of John Mannion’s Coaching Playbook, now mentors football coaches in all stages of their careers. One of the things he talks a lot about with them is how the most successful coaches have their teams ready to adjust to the opportunities that are presented. John told me he goes into a game with a game plan, but that’s just the starting point. Similarly, in business, successful companies don’t wait until December to review performance—they review quarterly. Successful people don’t simply set goals. They regularly revisit them, assess their progress and make adjustments as needed.

So consider this your halftime. Not a time to judge yourself, but a time to prepare for a great second half.

1. Assess

Start by asking one simple question:

How did the first half of the year go?

Try to stay objective. Don’t beat yourself up over what didn’t happen. Instead, begin by celebrating what did.

For me, the first half of 2026 included several wins I’m genuinely proud of:

• I relaunched Pleasanton Fitness Club.

• I stayed consistent with posting on social media across every platform.

• I launched my Substack newsletter, The Long Game.

None of those happened overnight. They happened because of small, consistent actions over time. Before you focus on what’s missing, acknowledge what you’ve accomplished and allow yourself to feel good about it.

Success builds confidence, confidence builds momentum, and the fly wheel starts spinning.

2. Make Adjustments

Now ask yourself another question:

If I continued exactly as I have been, would I be happy with where I end the year?

If the answer is no, that’s okay. Plans change, life throws a curve, priorities shift.

For me, a professional project concluded earlier than expected this year. At first, that felt like a major shift. Looking back, it created room for entirely new opportunities that I’m excited about today.

Some goals deserve renewed attention. Others deserve to be crossed off the list — not because you failed, but because they no longer fit the direction your life is heading.

Making adjustments isn’t quitting, it’s smart and it’s good leadership.

3. Set New Goals

Here’s something we rarely give ourselves permission to do:

Create new goals in July.

They don’t have to be New Year’s resolutions. They’re simply your next priorities. In many ways, a six-month goal is easier to visualize than a 12-month one. Six months is long enough to make meaningful progress and short enough to stay focused.

This is also a great time to begin thinking about 2027.

If you’ve dreamed about completing a marathon, riding a century, hiking a national park, or tackling another big adventure, many of those events open registration months — or even a year — in advance.

When I decided I wanted to run the New York Marathon, I didn’t wait until registration opened. I researched the qualifying and registration windows, marked the important dates on my calendar, and made sure I was ready when the opportunity arrived.

The planning started long before the race. The same principle applies to almost every meaningful goal.

Decide first. Then prepare.

Your Second Half Starts Today

The beauty of July 1 is that it doesn’t carry the pressure of January 1.

No crowded gyms and no impossible resolutions. Just an opportunity to pause, reflect and intentionally choose what happens next. You still have six months left to make this a year you’ll remember, but you have to be intentional.

My hope is that when December arrives, you’ll look back with pride, not because everything went exactly as planned, but because you kept adjusting, kept growing and kept moving forward.

The scoreboard isn’t final, you’re only at halftime.

Your Halftime Check-In Exercise - Do This

Before you move on with your day, take 10 minutes and complete your own halftime review. Here is a handy work sheet for yourself and your team.

Celebrate 3 Wins

What are three things you’ve accomplished during the first half of the year? Big or small, give yourself credit for making progress.

Drop 1 Goal

Is there a goal that’s no longer important or no longer fits where your life is headed? Give yourself permission to let it go.

Choose 3 Priorities

If you could accomplish just three meaningful things before December 31, what would they be?

Plan 1 Adventure

What experience do you want to have in 2027? A marathon. A cycling event. A hiking trip. A new challenge. Decide now, then research the registration dates and put them on your calendar. The second half of your year doesn’t begin tomorrow.

It begins the moment you decide what matters most.

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Catch up on last week’s Substack - It was a banger

The post on why I started the Pleasanton Fitness Club

Link to the worksheet

It’s better to give than receive.

Most of us think of that idea in terms of generosity, gifts or helping those in need. But what if the same principle applies to fitness, health and personal growth?

It turns out it does.

Over the years, I’ve seen countless people struggle to stay motivated with exercise. They start strong, lose momentum, fall out of the habit, start again and repeat the cycle over and over. We’re often told the answer is more discipline, more willpower or finding the perfect workout program.

But research suggests there may be another answer. Help someone else.

One of the most interesting findings from fitness and behavioral research is that social support plays a major role in exercise adherence. People are more likely to stay active when they feel connected to others, encouraged by others and part of a community.

Companies like Myzone, which I've used for years and continue to advocate for, have built entire engagement platforms around this idea, emphasizing motivation, accountability and social support as key drivers of long-term success.

That caught my attention and it makes perfect sense. When you encourage someone else, four things happen.

1. You Become More Accountable

It’s hard to encourage someone to take a walk if you haven’t taken one yourself.

It’s difficult to celebrate consistency if you’re not pursuing consistency.

The moment you become a source of encouragement for others, your own actions start to matter more. You naturally become more accountable.

2. You Reinforce Your Identity

Every time you encourage someone else’s healthy behavior, you’re reminding yourself what matters. You’re reinforcing the identity of being someone who values health, movement, growth and well-being. The message may be intended for them but part of it lands on you too. I believe this is extremely important. When we start to see ourselves as capable athletes, walkers, cyclists or active people, it gives us the confidence to try new things and have experiences we might never have considered before. Those experiences reinforce our identity and as more sweat equity goes into the journey, it becomes harder to walk away from it.

3. You Create Relationships Around Positive Behaviors

One of the reasons communities like Pleasanton Fitness Club exist is because healthy habits grow stronger when they’re shared.

When you acknowledge someone’s effort, congratulate them on a workout, invite them on a walk or simply notice their progress, you’re building a relationship around something positive. Those relationships become powerful anchors. Over time, you begin surrounding yourself with people who value many of the same things you do—health, growth, movement and personal improvement.

People often join for fitness, but they stay for connection.

4. You Feel Responsible to Show Up

When nobody knows what you’re doing, it’s easy to disappear. When you’ve encouraged someone else, checked in on them or invited them to participate, there’s a subtle responsibility that develops.

You want to show up, not because someone is forcing you to, but because you don’t want to let down the people you’re supporting.

I’ve experienced this myself throughout my fitness life. One of the things I know to be true is that encouraging other people to get outside, take a walk, attend an event or try something new strengthens my own commitment to doing the same.

Looking back, many of the things I’ve enjoyed most weren’t focused on my own workouts at all. I started a Family Fitness text thread for our large extended family where we celebrate family members who try something new or step outside their comfort zone. I’ve created Myzone challenges for professional groups, club members, friends and family. Most recently, I hosted Yoga In The Yard, bringing friends together for movement, breakfast, conversation and a few well-earned high fives.

In every case, I received far more than I gave.

What started as an effort to encourage others often ended up motivating me just as much. The accountability, friendships, shared experiences and sense of community strengthened my own commitment to staying active. What started as wanting to encourage others has often helped me just as much.

Your Challenge This Week

This week, find one person who is making an effort and acknowledge it. Give them a kudos, thumbs up or a positive comment.

Maybe they’re walking more, training for an event or trying to generally move more. When I scroll through Strava and Myzone and I see someone with no recognition on their activity, I try to give them a positive response. It’s an easy thing to do. Leave a comment on Strava, send a message through Myzone or reply to a social media post.

Better yet, pick up the phone and call them. Tell them you’ve noticed their activity, you’re proud of them and encourage them to keep going. It might take less than two minutes and I promise your kind gesture will have a huge impact.

We often think motivation is something we have to find. I believe motivation is something we create, and one of the simplest ways to create it is by encouraging someone else.

That’s the beautiful thing about support: it helps two people at the same time. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself keep going, is to help someone else keep going.

Last week’s Substack Catch Up Are You Someone People Want On Their Team?

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I was thinking about this recently as I prepared a talk for First Tee coaches, a youth development program that uses golf to teach life skills and character.

For the presentation, I found myself revisiting one of my favorite leadership books, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni.

The book was written for business leaders, but as I reread it, I realized something. The lessons aren’t really about teams; they’re about people. More specifically, they’re about the kinds of character traits that make someone a person others want on their team.

That team might be a workplace.

It might be a family.

A marriage.

A friendship.

A sports team.

A volunteer organization.

Or a community.

After more than 30 years of leading teams, coaching people and raising a family, I’ve come to believe that the same traits that make someone a great teammate also make them a better person. That’s important because every one of us spends our lives moving from team to team.

We are all part of families, friendships, schools, workplaces, churches, neighborhoods, and communities. The question isn’t whether you’ll be part of a team; the question is who you’ll be when you get there.

As I adapted Lencioni’s framework for a younger audience, I found myself reducing it to five simple traits. Five qualities that can make you a better teammate, a better leader, a better friend and ultimately, a better person.

Trustworthiness.

Courage.

Commitment.

Accountability.

Resilience.

Develop those five qualities, and almost every area of your life improves.

1. Be Trustworthy

Trust is one of the most valuable assets a person can possess.

People who can be trusted are predictable in their behavior. They do the right thing when it’s easy and when it’s difficult. Their values don’t change based on who is watching. Trust also shows up in how we talk about other people.

Anyone can be positive when relationships are going well. The real test is what happens when someone disappoints you, disagrees with you, or treats you unfairly.

Can you still take the high road? Can you resist the urge to gossip?

Can you hold your tongue when tearing someone down would make you temporarily feel better?

Trustworthy people understand that every interaction is an opportunity to either build trust or diminish it.

Over time, people learn they can count on you and that’s one of the greatest compliments a person can receive.

2. Have the Courage to Handle Conflict

Most people avoid conflict because they want to be liked. The problem is that when we avoid conflict completely, we slowly become less of who we really are. We stop expressing our opinions and we stop standing up for ourselves.

We start saying what we think other people want to hear instead of what we genuinely believe. Over time, we become more focused on maintaining the status quo than living authentically.

Healthy conflict isn’t about arguing. It’s about having the courage to be honest. It’s being able to say, respectfully, “I see this differently.” It’s speaking up when something doesn’t feel right. It’s allowing others to disagree without feeling threatened.

The goal isn’t to win every disagreement. The goal is to remain true to who you are while maintaining respect for others.

3. Honor Your Commitments

One of the easiest ways to stand out in today’s world is surprisingly simple: Do what you said you were going to do.

Show up, follow through and be reliable.

But honoring commitments isn’t just about reliability. It’s also about being willing to raise your hand in the first place. Many people spend their lives sitting on the sidelines because they’re afraid. Afraid of failing, criticism, or that they won’t be good enough.

As a result, they rarely take risks — and rarely make much of a difference. The people who create change are usually willing to say yes before they know exactly how things will turn out.

They volunteer.

They lead.

They try.

Sometimes they succeed and sometimes they fail. But they move the ball forward and you can’t make a difference if you’re never willing to step into the arena.

4. Take Accountability

Of course, when you step into the arena, things won’t always go according to plan. Nobody gets everything right. The best teammates aren’t perfect, they’re accountable.

They admit mistakes, they apologize when necessary, they always stay coachable and remain open to feedback. One of my favorite principles is something I’ve written about before: Character Over Reputation.

Reputation is what people think about you. Character is who you are when things don’t go your way. Accountability is a character trait. It requires humility, honesty and a willingness to improve.

One of the most powerful things a person can say is:

“I was wrong.”

Followed closely by:

“What can I learn from this?”

5. Be Resilient

Results matter, but results are never the end of the story.

Sometimes we fail, sometimes we win. Both situations require resilience. When we fail, resilience helps us recover, learn, adjust and try again. When we succeed, resilience reminds us not to become complacent. What got us here may not get us where we want to go next.

The habits, strategies, and approaches that produced today’s success may not produce tomorrow’s success. Resilient people understand that life is a continuous cycle of evaluating, adapting, and improving. They don’t let setbacks define them and they don’t let success make them comfortable. They stay curious, humble, and they keep moving forward.

The Bigger Lesson

What strikes me most about these five traits is how little they have to do with talent. You don’t have to be the smartest person in the room, the strongest athlete or the loudest talker. You simply have to become the kind of person others want on their team.

A trustworthy person.

A courageous person.

A committed person.

An accountable person.

A resilient person.

Whether you’re part of a family, a friendship, a sports team, a workplace, or a community organization, these traits make every group stronger. More importantly, they make you stronger. Develop those five qualities, and almost every area of your life improves

Your Challenge

This week, choose one of the five and focus on it intentionally for the next seven days.

• Build trust.

• Handle conflict more courageously.

• Honor a commitment.

• Take accountability.

• Practice resilience.

The quality of your teams reflects the quality of the people on them. The quality of your life often reflects the character traits you choose to develop. Have a great week.

Catch on last week’s Substack

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As someone who has spent an entire career in the fitness industry, I’ve seen countless health trends come and go.

New workout programs, new diet trends, new recovery tools and lots of new apps designed to optimize every aspect of our lives. Just this week, I rediscovered so many great TRX exercises that were all the rage several years ago. In this column, I have written a lot about the power and benefits of exercise and I am a true believer. But there is one powerful thing we can do for our health requires little effort, no membership, and no equipment. Simply step outside.

Recently, two different articles crossed my desk that made essentially the same point.

The first, Fitt/Insider No. 398, highlighted a growing movement around “nature as medicine.” The second was part of a New York Times wellness challenge encouraging people to spend just 20 minutes a day in nature.

Both cited a remarkable statistic:

Americans now spend approximately 90% of their lives indoors.

Think about that for a moment.

We evolved outdoors. We were designed to move, explore, socialize and experience the natural world. Yet most of us spend our days moving from house, to car, to office, and back again while staring at screens for much of the journey.

It’s no wonder many people feel stressed, disconnected and mentally exhausted.

Research continues to show that time outdoors can improve mood, reduce stress, increase focus, support memory and contribute to overall well-being. One landmark study involving nearly 20,000 people found that people who spent at least 120 minutes per week in nature reported significantly higher levels of health and well-being.

That’s only about 17 minutes a day.

Not two hours at a time, not a weekend camping trip, not hiking the Tahoe Rim Trail, just a little time outside appreciating nature. I am admittedly an outdoors workout nut. I love it but I recognize not everyone does. What I appreciate most about this research is how accessible the outdoors can be for all. You don’t need expensive gear and you don’t need to consider yourself an “outdoorsy” person. Keep it simple to get started…

• A walk around the neighborhood or a local park.

• A bike ride on a trail.

• Coffee on a patio.

• Reading a book under a tree.

• A conversation with a friend while walking.

It all counts. One outdoor activity that I believe deserves more attention is gardening.

Gardening checks nearly every box we look for in a healthy habit. It gets you outside and provides functional movement through bending, lifting, reaching, carrying, digging, and walking. It reduces stress, improves mood, and creates a visible result you can enjoy long after the work is done.

Unlike many forms of exercise that can feel like another item on a to-do list, gardening combines movement with purpose. You aren’t just burning calories; you’re creating something. Whether it’s flowers, vegetables or simply a more beautiful yard, the reward continues long after the workout is over.

In many ways, gardening may be one of the most complete wellness activities available. As I thought about these articles, another trend stood out to me.

For years, fitness has moved toward more measurement, more data and more tracking.
We can now monitor our sleep, heart rate variability, recovery scores, training load, calorie burn, stress levels and daily readiness before we’ve even had our first cup of coffee. And while much of that technology is useful, I believe we’re beginning to see a subtle shift.

People aren’t rejecting fitness technology. They’re pushing back on the idea that every aspect of their health needs to be measured.

The articles I read this week both pointed toward the same trend: people are increasingly seeking experiences that feel human rather than optimized. I truly love the data and tracking all my stats, however there is always an opportunity to stay in the moment of the activity and enjoying it for what it is without distraction.

In some ways, the next evolution of wellness may be remembering that not everything that improves our health needs to be quantified.

One phrase from the New York Times article really resonated with me. A physician described excessive screen time as “ultraprocessed time”—engineered for convenience, stimulation and compulsion rather than nourishment. That’s a powerful way to think about it.

Just as our bodies need real food, our minds may need real experiences. These are not luxury items. They are fundamental ingredients of a healthy life.

I also find it interesting that people are increasingly choosing outdoor experiences over additional health and fitness products. Many aren’t seeking adventure as much as they are seeking relief. They’re looking for a break from notifications, algorithms, productivity pressure and constant digital stimulation.

In a world that keeps pulling us toward screens, stepping outside may be one of the simplest acts of self-care available.

It’s also one of the reasons I started the Pleasanton Fitness Club. The goal isn’t to simply promote exercise. The goal is to promote the joy of moving outside — in our communities, with friends — and exercise is the happy by-product of the activity.

The goal is to help people discover that the parks, trails, neighborhoods and open spaces around us are incredible resources for better health. The city itself can become a fitness club, a social club and a wellness center. Not every workout needs a gym. Sometimes health looks like a walk with a friend, a bike ride through town, or a afternoon in the garden. One of the reasons we feature a Walk of the Month through Pleasanton Fitness Club is to help people discover how many great opportunities already exist right in their own backyard. Please see Walk of the Month of Pleasanton Fitness Club website. The city is your gym, but it can also be your wellness center.

Your Call To Action

This week, I have a challenge for you. Spend at least 20 minutes outside every day. Leave your phone in your pocket if you can. Pay attention to how you feel at the end of the week.

We spend a lot of time looking for the next breakthrough in health and fitness. Maybe the breakthrough isn’t new at all.

Maybe it’s scheduling sunlight instead of screens. Conversation instead of notifications. Twenty minutes outside instead of 20 more minutes online.

The good news is that this prescription is free, available to everyone, and waiting right outside your front door.

Last Week Follow Up

How did you do on the 5-3-1 Challenge I put out there last week? I had several conversations and text exchanges as a result. I hope you had similar results. Let’s keep it going.

We hear a lot these days about the loneliness epidemic in America.

Despite all of our technology, social media platforms, messaging apps, and the ability to connect with virtually anyone at any time, many people feel less connected than ever before. In fact, the U.S. Surgeon General reported that approximately half of all American adults experience loneliness. Think about that for a moment. Half of the people you encounter each day may be carrying a sense of isolation that isn’t visible on the surface.

The good news is that of all the challenges we face as a society right now, this may be one of the most solvable. It doesn’t require funding, it doesn’t require lobbying, and it doesn’t require permission from anyone.

It simply requires people deciding to care about other people. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and intentionally trying a few things in my own life.

1. Creating More Family Connection

Several months ago, I started a larger family text group. The goal wasn’t to share breaking news or coordinate events. It was simply to help everyone feel connected to something bigger than themselves.

Each month I post the family birthdays and ask a question that requires a response.

This month I asked:

“What is something you’re proud of accomplishing last month?”

The responses were fantastic. Some were major life events while others were small personal victories. But what mattered most was that people shared. Family members learned things about one another they otherwise would never have known. Does it sometimes get a little crazy? Sure, but crazy is better than no communication at all.

Connection doesn’t happen by accident. Sometimes it just needs a little facilitation.

2. Hosting a Yoga Class and Brunch

Later this month, we’re hosting a yoga class in our backyard to celebrate the International Day of Yoga. I hired a yoga instructor friend to lead the session and invited an eclectic mix of friends to join us in our yard. After class, we’ll have coffee, quiche and conversation.

The yoga class is a great reason to invite people to come together. The deeper purpose is creating an opportunity for people to meet, talk, laugh and spend time together. Many of the best connections in life happen when someone simply creates the space for them.

3. Starting the Pleasanton Fitness Club

Last week, I wrote about why I started the Pleasanton Fitness Club. At its core, it is as much about promoting exercise as it is facilitating community connections. Yes, movement improves health. Yes, being outdoors is good for us. But one of the most powerful outcomes of walking groups, bike rides and community events is that people meet one another.

Friendships form, conversations happen and people feel like they belong. Belonging may be one of the most important human needs we have.

The 531 Challenge

So here’s my challenge to you this week.

5 Reach-Outs

Text, email or message five people and simply check in.

Maybe it’s a former coworker. Maybe it’s an old friend who moved away. Maybe it’s someone you’ve been meaning to contact for months. Just reach out.

3 Conversations

Pick up the phone and actually call three people. Not a text, not a voice memo, but a real conversation. Voice to voice. Human to human.

1 Meet-Up

Schedule one face-to-face connection. Go for a walk, grab lunch, meet for coffee, or have a drink. Just spend time together.

Last week, I met my friend Bryan for a walk and talk. We hadn’t connected in over a year, so 90 minutes and 4 miles flew by. We shared stories, ideas, challenges, and plenty of laughs. When I got home, I couldn’t help but think:

“Why did I wait so long to do that?”

One More Thing

There is another side to this challenge. If you’re the person receiving one of these connections, respond. Respond thoughtfully and sincerely. Do not respond with an emoji. The person reaching out may need that connection every bit as much as you do.

Family.

Friends.

Community.

We all have the ability to make a meaningful dent in the loneliness epidemic. One conversation, one invitation, one walk, one cup of coffee at a time.

5 Reach-Outs. 3 Conversations. 1 Meet-Up.

531.

Give it a try this week and let me know how it goes.

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I have been fortunate to spend my entire career in an industry I deeply believe in: the health and fitness world.

For more than 35 years, I’ve seen firsthand how exercise can transform lives. Not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and socially. I’ve seen confidence return, lifelong friendships form, anxiety decrease and energy increase. I have seen entire lifestyles change because someone simply started moving consistently and had the social support to keep it going.

As I enter the next phase of my career, I found myself asking an important question:

“If I have control of my own time, what do I actually want to do?”

The answer came pretty quickly. I want to continue helping people connect with the benefits of exercise and good health, but on a broader community level. Not just inside the walls of a fitness club.

Because the reality is most people don’t belong to a gym.

In any given community, roughly 75% of people are not members of a fitness club. And many of those people are the ones who could benefit the most from movement, fresh air, social connection, and healthier routines.

But I’ve also learned something important over the years:

Many people are not ready to join a gym… but they are ready to go for a walk around a park, meet a friend for a walk and talk, or just move a little more than they did yesterday.

That’s why I started the Pleasanton Fitness Club.

The idea is simple:

Help people discover and use the free fitness assets already available around them, like parks, trails, bike paths, outdoor spaces, and community events — while also creating opportunities for people to connect with one another.

Because exercise and community are both powerful forms of medicine.

Pleasanton is uniquely built for this kind of movement. We have beautiful parks, an incredible trail system, and a community full of people who care about health and quality of life. My goal is simply to help shine a light on those opportunities and make getting started feel approachable.

This isn’t about intense workouts or elite fitness, it’s about creating an easy on-ramp.

A walk counts.
A bike ride counts.
Meeting a friend at the park counts.
Starting small counts and is highly meaningful.

My goal is to give people the information and encouragement to get them started on their fitness journey.

Right now, the social channels are in place, the website is about 80% complete, and the first community-wide initiative — Walktober — is scheduled for October.

I’m excited to see where this can go, and honestly, I’m learning as I go.

If you’ve ever started a community-based health or fitness initiative, I’d genuinely love to learn from your experience. What worked? What didn’t? What helped people stay engaged?

At the end of the day, this is bigger than fitness. It’s about helping people feel healthier, less isolated, more connected, and more engaged with the community around them.

And if all we do is help more people take that first walk, I think that’s a pretty meaningful place to start.

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The other day I was out on a bike ride and passed the middle school both of my kids attended years ago. As I rolled by, the digital message board out front began scrolling through the school’s “Community of Character” traits.

Responsibility.
Compassion.
Self-Discipline.
Honesty.
Respect.
Integrity.

I actually slowed down to read them and instantly I was transported back to those middle school years when these ideas were regularly discussed in classrooms, brought home in assignments, and reinforced through exercises and conversations. At the time, they felt like important lessons for kids.

Seeing them again years later hit differently because the more leadership work I do, the more I realize these aren’t just traits we teach children, they are the foundation of leadership itself.

Not strategy.
Not charisma.
Not communication skills.
Not management systems.

Those things matter, but they come later. These six traits are the base layer everything else is built on.

Responsibility is what allows people to trust you.
Compassion is what keeps leadership human.
Self-discipline is what helps you stay consistent when motivation fades.
Honesty creates clarity and builds trust.
Respect creates healthy and long-lasting relationships.
Integrity is doing the right thing when nobody is watching.

What struck me most is how simple these ideas are, and how difficult they can be to consistently live out as adults. Especially today.

We live in a world that constantly rewards speed, reaction, image, and short-term wins that come at a high cost. These character traits move slower, they require intentionality, reflection, accountability and repetition.

And they don’t stay alive automatically. The only way they remain part of a culture, whether at work, at home, or in a community, is if we talk about them regularly, reinforce them consistently, and challenge ourselves and each other to keep growing.

That’s true in leadership teams.
It’s true in families.
It’s true in organizations.
And maybe most importantly, it’s true for ourselves personally.

I think sometimes we spend so much time searching for advanced leadership frameworks or trendy topics that we overlook the fundamentals that actually matter most. Maybe great leadership is less about discovering the next big thing and more about consistently practicing what we already know to be true.

Responsibility. Compassion. Self-Discipline. Honesty. Respect. Integrity.

Simple words. Lifelong work.

Call To Action

Which of these six traits do you think is most needed in leadership today?
And which one do you personally need to work on most right now?

I’d genuinely love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Please share this someone you think would enjoy reading it.

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I’ve been around, and part of, leadership teams for a long time, and there’s a common thread with almost all of them.

There are typically good people who care, who work hard, and who take pride in what they do. But they’re not always working together, and they’re not always working on the right things.

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Recently, I had an opportunity to catch up with Al Amador, a Principal Consultant with The Table Group, where we pulled apart a few ideas from The Advantage by Pat Lencioni. Al has worked with leadership teams across industries, and I was able to pick his brain on what he consistently sees, what works, what doesn’t, and where teams tend to get stuck.

You may be thinking, “I don’t manage a team.” That’s fine. These principles still apply. They apply if you lead a team, if you’re part of a team, and even in environments outside of work—families, communities, and sports. What Al shared is simple and practical, but more importantly, and actionable. If you apply it, it can change everything.

Here are three ideas that stood out, and honestly, these three that can improve almost any group dynamic.

1. Your Highest Priority Team May Not Be Who You Think

Most leaders believe their team is the group of people who report to them. That’s understandable, but it’s not quite right.

Your first team is the leadership team you sit on or you are a part of. That’s where alignment matters most. That’s where trust needs to be strongest, and where healthy conflict and accountability should exist.

When leaders operate as individuals, protecting their own departments, the organization begins to fracture. But when leaders operate as a true team, aligned around a single purpose, and willing to hold each other accountable, everything downstream becomes healthier and more effective.

It sounds like a small shift, but it’s a meaningful one. The best teams I’ve ever been a part of are the ones where each member of the team is willing to set aside their personal agenda and do what’s best for the team or organization. This takes a high level of trust and confidence because at times your own department’s numbers may take a short-term hit but if all members of the team take this approach something magical can happen.

2. Clarity Beats Complexity Every Time

One of the most powerful concepts we discussed was the idea of a Rally Cry. Not a long strategic plan. Not a list of competing priorities. Not a slide deck that no one remembers. Just one clear answer to a simple question:

What is the most important thing we need to accomplish right now?

When a team gets this right, you can feel the difference. Meetings become more focused, decisions get easier, energy increases, and distractions start to fade. Without clarity, teams drift into their own agendas. With it, they move with purpose.

I can think of times when this concept became very important in our family life. When our kids were in high school and doing all the things necessary to go to the colleges they wanted to attend, using the Rally Cry was very help for them to evaluate day to day decisions. Will doing - fill in the blank - Get me closer or farther from attending the college I want to attend?

We didn’t always get it right but it sure kept what the most important thing was top of mind. Simple doesn’t mean easy—but it does mean effective.

3. Behaviors Drive Results (Not the Other Way Around)

We all appreciate a good dashboard. KPIs, metrics, and scorecards all have their place, and believe me, I love them.

But there’s a trap that leaders fall into: managing the numbers instead of the behaviors that create the numbers. When that happens, performance becomes fragile and outcomes unpredictable.

Al Amador made this point very clearly, if the culture and behaviors aren’t healthy, no amount of tracking will fix it. Strong leaders don’t just ask, “Are we hitting our numbers?” They ask, “Are we consistently showing up in the way that produces great results?”

My good friend John Mannion, nationally recognized as an outstanding high school football coach, talks about this all the time with the coaches he mentors. He doesn’t focus on the scoreboard first. He focuses on the reps.

The way players practice.
The habits they build.
The standards they’re held to every single day.

John will tell you, in his world, the scoreboard is just a reflection of what happened long before the game started.

That idea translates directly to leadership. If the behaviors aren’t right, the results won’t be either—and no amount of pressure on the numbers will fix it. When leaders lose sight of these three ideas, teams start to drift, and the same patterns show up over and over again.

Where Teams Most Often Break Down

We wrapped the conversation with a simple question: Where do leaders most often fall short?

Three things came up immediately 1. avoiding hard conversations, 2. operating like a working group instead of a true team, and 3. focusing on outcomes instead of the behaviors that drive them.

None of these are tactical problems. They’re leadership discipline problems.

What This Means for You

You don’t need a complete overhaul to improve your team, or your role within one. You simply need to focus on the right pressure points: align deeply with the team you’re part of, get crystal clear on the top priority, and start coaching behaviors rather than just tracking results. Do those consistently, and everything else starts to move.

My Challenge to You

Here is my challenge to you. Think about these three ideas in terms of your work life, family life, and social life and where can any or all of these have a life changing impact?

Get those three right, and everything else gets easier.

Miss them, and everything feels harder than it should.

Go crush it this week!

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Check out John Mannion’s Substack, it’s linked above.

Most weeks in our lives look pretty similar.
They follow a rhythm, a routine and a structure that over time becomes the backbone of how we live, work, and take care of ourselves. That’s a good thing. Every once in a while, a different kind of week shows up, a week that stands apart.
A week that you know you’ll remember for the rest of your life.

Last week was one of those weeks for me.

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My daughter got married to a wonderful young man, and we had four days together as a family in Santa Barbara that I knew I didn’t want to rush through or be distracted from the experience. My goal was simple: Be fully present.

For me, that meant putting my normal routines to the side—especially my workouts. That might not sound like much to many people, but if you know me, you know how structured I am. Letting go of that, even temporarily, takes intention.

There are two things that pull me back to my routine:

First — identity.
Getting up early for a run, even on vacation, is part of who I am. It’s what I do. It’s what people expect and what I expect from myself.

Second — fear.
The fear of losing fitness and identity. Logically, I know a week off won’t make a difference but mentally, that’s harder to wrap my head around.

The payoff, however, is huge. Here’s what I gained by working in some flexibility:

• Taking my grandson to the beach to explore and throw rocks - awesome

• A long, unhurried lunch with my son and future son-in-law - first time ever

• Conversations, laughter and shared experience, while hanging out at the pool that simply don’t happen in the middle of a “normal” week

Those are the things that stick and I’m proud to say I didn’t let them slip by.

There’s something else I noticed too: Stepping away from my routine didn’t weaken it… it made me appreciate it more.

Three Things That Helped Me and May Help You

A disciplined routine is powerful, but if you’re not careful, it can quietly steal the moments that matter most. Here are a few things that have helped me over the years:

1. Front-load the routine
I “overloaded” my workouts the week before. That allowed the wedding, or vacation, week to naturally become a recovery week physically and mentally. Instead of feeling like I was missing something, it felt like part of the plan.

2. Blend movement with connection
I’ve learned to build activity into family time, like hiking to a waterfall, kayaking to a snorkel spot, riding bikes along the coast. Nothing extreme, just things everyone can enjoy together.

3. Create shared ownership
I made a pact with my kids when they were young: for every adventure day, there’s a corresponding beach or pool day, or something they choose. That balance keeps everyone engaged and connected.

A Thought As We Head Into Summer

Many of us have vacations, family time and special moments coming up. Here’s the challenge:

Don’t let routine steal the moment.

Think about what has pulled you away in the past. It may be your phone, your schedule, your habits. Make a plan ahead of time to remove or reduce those distractions. Because at the end of the day, there really isn’t a better gift than giving the people you love your full, undivided attention.

We don’t get many of these weeks. The hard part is, you don’t always realize how special they were until they’re already gone.

When they come:
Recognize them.
Protect them.
Be there for them.

Because those are the moments that stay with you. Last week, I got it right.

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The ones who don’t panic. Don’t spiral. Just… handle it. We tend to think about resilience like it’s something you either have or you don’t have, and that’s just not true. Resilience is built. And more importantly, it can be learned and practiced

.

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A good friend of mine, Meri McCoy-Thompson, co-authored The Heart of Resilience, which dives deep into the topic but the section that jumped out at me, and I believe anybody could benefit from, is developing Resilient Mindsets.

Resilience doesn’t show up when things are easy. It shows up when things are not going your way. Like when:

• The numbers aren’t where you want or need them

• You’re short-staffed

• A key employee leaves or a good friend relocates

• Something personal hits you out of nowhere

It is in those moments that your mindset determines your next move and how your team feeds off your energy. The part that really stuck with me came down to these three principles.

Curiosity Choice Courage

1. Curiosity – Stay Open When It’s Hard

When something goes wrong, our default is typically judgment. Why is this happening to me? Who is to blame? Curiosity interrupts that negative thought process and creates space for new possibilities

Resilient leaders ask better questions:

• What am I missing here?

• What can I learn from this?

• Is there another way to look at this?

• What is the potential positive outcome?

Curiosity doesn’t remove the problem, but it gives you options and it sets you on the road to solutions rather than wasting time on the problem.

2. Choice – Own the Response

This is a powerful concept. You don’t control the situation, but you always control your response. That’s not always easy but it’s always true. Choice is seeing the possibilities and deciding which one is best.

Resilient leaders make intentional choices:

• To respond instead of react

• To gather more information

• To stay positive even in the toughest times

• To pivot quickly to the next positive action

In tough moments, reminding yourself you control your response is a powerful tool.

3. Courage – Act Anyway

This is where resilience becomes visible. Courage is the emotional strength to do something difficult when it matters. It may be:

• Having the hard conversation with staff or family

• Making the call you’ve been avoiding

• Stepping into a situation that you are unsure of the outcome. Courage is stepping forward when it would be easier to step back.

Most people wait to feel ready or the conditions feel right. I can think of times in my career where I knew exactly what needed to be done… and still hesitated. I eventually learned to trust my instinct. Resilient leaders act in the face of uncertainty and are prepared to react as the situation evolves.

Bringing It Together

When pressure hits, here’s the play:

Get curious → Make a choice → Take a courageous step

That’s a resilient mindset in action.

Exercise: Build Your Reset Routine

When something goes sideways this week, try this:

1. Pause (10–20 seconds)

2. Name the situation (no blame, just facts)

3. Ask “What now?” Be curious about your options

4. Take one action immediately

5. Evaluate and repeat

Resilience isn’t about being tough all the time. It’s about being steady when it matters most.

And that starts with your very next response.

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There’s a narrative out there right now that Gen Z is difficult to lead, but I don’t buy it. Over the past few weeks through research, a panel discussion I took part in, and time spent talking to managers, I’ve come to a different conclusion:

Gen Z (identified as young workers up to 29 years old) isn’t making leadership harder. In fact, in my view, (for transparency, I’m among the youngest of the Baby Boomer generation), they’re making it better.

They’re asking more questions, they’re expecting more from organizations, and in doing so… they’re exposing where we’ve been falling short in the past.

Honestly, that’s a good thing.

The Reality We’re Living In

Gen Z now makes up roughly 30% of the workforce — and is growing fast. They’re not quietly fitting into the systems we built. They’re questioning them.

• They want flexibility

• They expect development

• They value mental health

• They need frequent feedback

And they’re not afraid to leave if those things aren’t there.

Outside of work, they’re also helping to reshape wellness in general by leaning into recovery, boutique fitness, and lifestyle-driven experiences. This isn’t a phase; this is the future workforce.

What They’re Actually Telling Us

If you strip away the noise, the message is pretty clear. Here are key takeaways:

1. They’re Not Leaving Jobs, They’re Leaving Stagnation

They come in energized, they want to contribute, and they want to move forward.

When that doesn’t happen? They’re gone. Not because they’re disloyal, but because they’re unwilling to stay stuck.

2. They Don’t Resist Accountability, They Resist Confusion

The old model of annual reviews, top-down direction, “because I said so,” doesn’t land with this group. What does?

• Clear expectations

• Real-time feedback

• Leaders who coach, not just manage

They’re not pushing back on standards, they’re pushing back on unclear or weak leadership.

3. Flexibility Isn’t the Enemy, Lack of Structure Is

Yes, they want flexibility, but the best companies aren’t choosing between flexibility or accountability, they’re building both.

• Clear expectations

• Schedules that make sense

• Ownership on both sides.

That’s where it works.

4. The Career Path Has Changed

This one is big. Not everyone wants to manage people anymore, but almost everyone wants:

• Growth

• Recognition

• Increased earning potential

The opportunity in front of us is to build paths that reward mastery, not just titles.

5. The Mirror They’re Holding Up

This is the most important part. Gen Z didn’t break leadership, they exposed where it was weak.

• Communication that wasn’t clear

• Culture that wasn’t real

• Development that wasn’t intentional

• Expectations that weren’t consistent

In fixing those things we don’t just get better with Gen Z, we get better period. Our teams are stronger, our organizations are strong, and companies become more profitable

A Simple Shift That Changes Everything

If you’re a manager and take one action this week, make it this: Start weekly 1:1 coaching conversations (10–15 minutes).

Nothing complicated:

• What went well this week?

• Where can you improve? (This is where you provide feedback)

• What do you need from me?

• What’s one focus for next week?

That’s it. Because if you want to retain this generation, you don’t manage their schedule, you coach their growth.

Final Thought

Gen Z is capable, smart, and fearless. If we meet them where they are and lead them well, we won’t just keep up with the future, we will help build it. From where I sit, the future looks very bright.

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We spend a lot of time thinking about how we’re perceived. What people think of us.
How we show up. Whether we look competent, confident… in control.

That’s our reputation, but reputation is fragile. It lives in other people’s minds. It shifts and it changes based on circumstance. It can rise quickly—and fall just as fast.

Character is different.

Character lives in our choices and if we’re honest, there’s is sometimes tension between those two. Because at some point—usually under pressure or the threat of losing status—we will be forced to choose between protecting your reputation… or staying true to your character.

The Trap Most of Us Fall Into

If you care about doing a good job, this hits close to home. There’s a subtle trap:

We start protecting our reputation at the expense of our character.

I know I did. There were times in my career when I wanted to be seen as a highly competent, bulletproof leader. I wanted to have the answers. I wanted to look like I had everything under control. But that mindset came with a cost.

It made it harder to admit fault.
Harder to be vulnerable.
Harder to say, “That was on me.”

And the irony?

The reality, in an effort to protect my self perceived reputation did actual the opposite. It looked like defensiveness. It felt like distance. And over time, it chipped away at trust with my teammates.

Looking Strong vs. Being Strong

John Maxwell says in High Road Leadership that character determines who you are, how you interact with people, and what you’re capable of accomplishing. That distinction matters.

Because:

• Reputation is what people think

• Character is who you are when it counts

And those two things don’t always align.

The moment we start leading—or living—in a way that is designed to look strong instead of actually being strong, we lose something.

People feel it, teams feel it, and families feel it.

What Actually Builds Trust

Everything changed for me when I made a simple shift: I stopped trying to protect my image… and started focusing on being honest.

More human.
More accountable.
More willing to say, “We need to do this better.”

And something interesting happened: I didn’t lose credibility, I gained it.

Because real strength shows up differently than we think:

• It tells the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable

• It takes responsibility when things go wrong

• It creates space for other people to speak up

• It doesn’t need to win every conversation

Leaders—and people—who are grounded in their character don’t have to defend themselves all the time.

They can listen, they can stay open, and they can build trust.

Why This Matters More Than Ever

The best teams—and the best relationships—aren’t built on image management.

They’re built on trust.

Research from Google’s Project Aristotle found that the most important factor in high-performing teams is psychological safety. People perform better when they feel safe to speak up without fear. That kind of environment doesn’t come from people protecting their reputation. It comes from people who put character first

A Simple Reflection

As you head into the week, take a minute to think about this:

• Where am I protecting my image instead of doing the hard right thing?

• Where do I need to be more honest, more accountable, or more open?

Because over time, your reputation will rise and fall, that’s out of your control.

But your character? That’s yours—every single day.

Long after people forget what you said or how you looked, they’ll remember how you showed up and how you treated them under the most challenging circumstances. That’s your character - protect it.

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