THE BEST SEX EVER launches on September 16th on OUTTV & OUTFLIX, and I honestly cannot wait for you all to see it!

I filmed this last year with the same fabulous American producers behind my previous shows, SLAG WARS and SLAG WARS 2, so it was brilliant to be back working with the team again, this time, we’re talking about SEX. Lots of it. 😂🔥

THE BEST SEX EVER is an all inclusive show for everybody. I invited some of my kinky friends into my home and basically gave them the perfect opportunity to sit down, relax and tell me ALL about the best sex they’ve ever had & believe me…THEY HAD STORIES.

Some were hot, some were hilarious, some were completely unexpected and some had me sitting there thinking, “Oh my fucking god… did you REALLY just tell me that?!” 😂

OUT MAGAZINE wrote about the show yesterday and the response has already been incredibly positive, which has made me even more excited to finally watch it properly myself. I’ve had some absolutely AMAZING sex and I have enough stories of my own to probably fill several seasons. 😂

Sex is genuinely one of my favourite things to talk about, so sitting around with my friends swapping stories was right up my street.The best thing about this show is that it isn’t about me. It’s about my guests & BOY did they bring it!

I loved hearing everyone’s stories and seeing how completely different everybody’s experiences of sex can be. There really is no such thing as “normal” when it comes to sex and that’s exactly what makes it so much fun.

Since my last blog, I’ve also been taking some time to rest and getting myself organised for my upcoming tours.

I have SO MANY messages to get back to from people wanting to see me on my next tours, so today I’m working my way through them all and getting back to everyone…actually… it feels like my life is taking another new turn again. Different doors are opening, new opportunities are appearing and there are lots of exciting things happening behind the scenes.

I don’t always know exactly where the next door is going to lead, but I’ve learnt to open it and have a look!

So don’t worry I’ll be taking you with me. ❤️

There’s lots more to come, lots more to tell you and, of course, lots more sex to talk about!

But first…

THE BEST SEX EVER.

Launching September 16th on OUTTV & OUTFLIX. Get yourselves ready because my friends have been keeping some VERY interesting stories up their sleeves… 💋🔥

My relationship with the gay club scene actually ended before Sophie died. In 2021, Sophie and I had gone our separate ways. I had become increasingly worried about her safety because she had met a new partner who, very early in the relationship, I felt was becoming incredibly controlling and trying to dictate what she should and shouldn’t do. I also knew he was heavily involved with drugs, and I was deeply concerned that this wasn’t going to be a healthy relationship for her. Ultimately, those concerns contributed to Sophie and I breaking up as a duo and going our separate ways.

Sophie continued to carry that torch for the gay scene, and I stepped away because I knew how much that world meant to her. I also found it very strange doing that scene without her. So I did what I often do when life gets complicated… I WORKED. I threw myself into porn, into making money, into building my business and ultimately into buying my house. Work became my distraction. If something hurts, apparently my answer is to work harder!

Then, in 2023, Sophie and her partner both died following an incredibly turbulent series of events, within a two week window of one another, very sad and very tragic. I attended both inquests to get a better insight as to what had happened and I attended with 3 of Sophie’s friends who I have become close to during this period of trying to help her.  I’ve only ever spoken about my grief on my own podcasts but never sat for someone else, so being invited to go on Gaydio on the Thursday was a first to give someone the freedom to ask me anything they wanted. There are parts of the story that I will probably never be able to talk about without becoming emotional because in my heart, I still believe that so much of what happened to Sophie was avoidable but grief is complicated and after Sophie died, I didn’t really want to go back to the clubs at all. The gay scene had always been something we shared. It was our world. So walking into those places without her felt incredibly strange, and for a long time I simply didn’t want to but something has shifted since opening Sophie’s Serenity Garden. I feel like a tiny little spark has started to come back, and Manchester was the first time I really felt that.

I arrived in Manchester on the Sunday, ahead of my appearance, and over the next few days I was getting back into that world something I hadn’t done properly in years, we used to attend all the PRIDE events and got booked for a lot of them, so being invited for Manchester pride was great and looking back I wished I had stayed for the full weekend!

Then, on Tuesday night, while I was already in Manchester, I found out that Dolly Parton had died. I was deeply saddened. Dolly was one of those people who somehow felt bigger than life an absolute icon, and someone whose music has been woven into so many memories! CONTEXT -  “I Will Always Love You.”  was the song I chose when I opened Sophie’s Serenity Garden.

So here I was, already in Manchester, preparing to step back into the gay scene on my own for the first time in years, having just opened a garden dedicated to Sophie… and suddenly Dolly had died and I Will Always Love You was everywhere.It made me feel like Sophie was with me in spirit.

I hadn’t done a proper club appearance for well over six years let alone one on my own so naturally I was very, very nervous in the weeks leading up to the night. So the Sunday, Monday & Tuesday I’d been working, had some clients, did a porn shoot, had lots of fun… and then deliberately took Wednesday off so I could slow down, relax and get myself ready. My glam squad came in, the hair and makeup went on, my gorgeous latex was made by Lady Lucy Latex, and suddenly I felt AMAZING. I was still nervous, but I felt bloody fabulous.

WEDNESDAY ARRIVED 10pm…I walked through the doors of Brewers and was completely overwhelmed by the welcome. Selfies, hugs, laughter, silliness and so much love honestly… DO THE LGBTQ+ KNOW HOW TO PARTY OR WHAT?!

The club was amazing and it felt like home, so much dancing and fun but to top it all off, the night became even more iconic when Tiara Skye got up on stage and started singing I Will Always Love You. I mean… COME ON. I just stood there thinking, what a fucking full circle moment after  everything …Dolly, the garden, Sophie, the song, me finally finding my way back into the gay scene and now hearing I Will Always Love You being sung on stage in the middle of Manchester Pride week! I honestly thought, if Sophie could see this right now…It was just really, really funny.. it put the biggest smile on my face. Maybe that sounds a little bit woo-woo, but I don’t care.

Thursday morning 11am I made my way to the GAYDIO head quarters and did the interview with Brett Harris, which was a huge moment for me. It’s first time I’m not in control of the questioning and  talking publicly talk about Sophie and being able to actually compose myself while doing it. I’ve obviously spoken about my grief on my own podcast but it can still completely floor me. I think about everything that happened and, in my heart, I still believe so much of what happened to Sophie could have been avoided. I wish she had never crossed paths with someone who ultimately led her down such a destructive path, with such devastating consequences. I’m also learning that grief doesn’t mean I have to stop living. I’m not forgetting Sophie. I’m not moving on from her. I’m just learning how to move forward without her.

I want to say a very special thank you to Baily J Mills, the wonderfully talented and hilarious drag artist who invited me back out, booked me for Brewers and has already booked me to come back and do another appearance in Manchester! KUDOS to her!

Tiara Skye, who is utterly wild, completely free and, quite rightly, Soho’s reigning queen thank you for her kindness too. Tiara knew Sophie during the period when Sophie and I weren’t speaking, and she gave me some incredibly comforting words that really stayed with me.

So thank you to the queens. Thank you for being so loving, so kind, so funny and for making me feel welcome back into a world that, for a long time, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be part of again.

What I loved most about this trip was realising just how beautifully my worlds can collide. I have my straight world, where I have so much fun with heterosexual men, and then I have this completely different but equally wonderful gay world and somehow, they fit together perfectly.

I feel incredibly lucky that my audience and my supporters come from every corner of the community. Straight men & women..Gay men & women, Trans women & men. Not everyone is my fan and that’s absolutely fine. I can cope with that.

So I can still move on and have fun and none of that means I love or miss her any less. It just means I’m learning to live again. Maybe that’s what moving forward actually looks like. Not choosing between grief and joy, but allowing yourself to have both.

Manchester reminded me that finally I’ve got not just a bit but a lot of my spark back and I’m feeling like I have a bit more of a spring in my step !

As you know, I LOVE reminiscing, because I’ve had such an extraordinary past and, over the years, thousands of completely bonkers bookings. Some of them genuinely deserve to be documented before I forget them and this one was definitely one of them. I got a booking to go into King’s Cross for the day. The brief was simple: no sex ..just exhibitionism…back then, things were a LOT more fun, risky and unpredictable than they are now. These days, apparently, everyone and their cat is an exhibitionist. Back then, though? You had to know what you were doing.

The plan was dinner, a sex cinema, a few shops and various opportunities for me to push the boundaries of what I was comfortable with. My client basically wanted to spend the day finding out just how far I was prepared to take things. So I packed my bags, headed into London and followed one very specific instruction: I had to wear a mac.

I met him at the restaurant and, back then, I was drinking, so naturally a few glasses of wine seemed like the perfect way to settle my nerves. We went to this absolutely incredible restaurant. I’ve actually tried to find it ever since because the food and atmosphere were amazing …although, in fairness, after a few wines my memory of the establishment becomes slightly less Michelin Star and slightly more Rebecca has lost the plot. I was flirting with absolutely everyone. The waiters. The staff. Anyone who looked remotely interested my client LOVED it. He loved watching me become progressively more outrageous and completely confident in my own skin. By the time we left the restaurant, I was fully in character and ready for the next part of the day. 

Then we went to a sex cinema. Now, I had never been to a straight sex cinema before. I didn’t even know they existed. Walking in and seeing a room full of straight men watching porn together was honestly quite an experience. I remember thinking, Well… this is different. The brief was for me to become part of the spectacle, and suddenly I had an entire audience. It was intense. VERY intense. There was a moment where I realised just how much attention I was getting and thought, Oh fucking hell, Rebecca, what have you got yourself into? But somehow, it all worked out.

I remember leaving feeling absolutely buzzing. Not because anything particularly outrageous had happened, but because I had spent an entire day deliberately pushing myself outside my comfort zone and discovering that I actually bloody loved it, it was so POWERFUL, I HAD ALL THEM MEN IN MY CONTROL…..WOW!

We carried on around King’s Cross. We went into different shops, wandered around, stopped for more drinks and generally continued the exhibitionist adventure. I particularly remember going into Pret and sitting right by the window, knowing perfectly well that people walking past could see exactly what I was up to. It’s the Pret on kings cross..I’ve never looked at it the same again…I remember thinking as I’m showing my mine to some builder…I’m fucked if someone I know walks past lol! It was ridiculous. It was naughty.

It was exhilarating, honestly, it was such a different era..that was 2006.

What I loved most about that booking wasn’t even the attention. It was the freedom of having someone say, essentially, this is what I wanna see,now go and play and I did. I pushed them. I tested them. I flirted with them. I FUCKING DESTROYED THEM!!!! HAHHAHAH  by the end of the day, I knew I’d had one of those bookings that stays with you forever.

Looking back now, I’m actually quite grateful I got to experience that era of my career. Things have changed massively, and what felt like cheeky, consensual exhibitionism back then can land very differently now. I had my fun.

And fucking hell, I REALLY had my fun.

Thank you to that lovely chap, you were an older guy so who knows where you are now? But I’m still thinking of that booking and many many more…..

After nearly a year of planning, building and pouring my heart into this space, seeing it finally open was incredibly emotional. So many wonderful friends joined me, and the garden was filled with love, laughter, memories and an overwhelming sense of peace.

We opened the memorial with a singer serenading the garden with Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You”, which felt like the perfect tribute to Sophie. We had catering, bar staff, a DJ, a memorial book for guests to leave their messages and memories, and everywhere you looked there was pink everyone wore pink in Sophie’s honour.

It was not a day of darkness or sadness. It was a peaceful, happy and joyous celebration of an icon who brought so much laughter, chaos and energy into the world. Sophie will never be forgotten. Sophie, as we all knew her, was a complete icon. She was funny, beautiful, crazy, wild, and she had an absolute heart of gold. As far as I’m concerned, there would have been no Cock Destroyers without Sophie. She was the heartbeat of it. Her comedy timing was outstanding, and she had this incredible ability to make people laugh without even trying. She was naturally funny, naturally entertaining, and completely unforgettable.

Living with Sophie and having her as a friend taught me so much. She was truly one of a kind. Every single person who came to the garden has their own stories about her, and I think that is one of the reasons she was so special …she left a mark on everyone she met. Losing Sophie has been one of the most heartbreaking experiences of my life. Until it happened, I don’t think I truly understood the depth of grief that comes with losing someone you love. I miss her terribly. I am sad for what happened, but I am also sad for everything that could have been. I saw so much potential in Sophie. I genuinely believe she was born to be a star, and I only wish she could have seen herself the way so many of us saw her.

Although her passing brought enormous pain, it also changed my life. The heartbreak, anger, resentment and grief had to go somewhere. I knew I had to channel it into something positive, otherwise I was going to become a very bitter person. In many ways, that is what this garden is about. It is a place where I have poured all of that love and sadness into healing… after Sophie died, I found it difficult to do comedy. The Cock Destroyers was a very special moment in time, and for me it belonged to both of us. When you have been part of a double act, it can feel strange carrying on alone. Sophie was so iconic that I never felt I could simply replace what we had. Instead, I found myself focusing on reality, on healing, and on sharing that journey publicly because it felt natural and honest.

The idea for this garden came to me over a year ago. I knew I needed to create something that would honour Sophie and keep her memory alive. I had this vision of a beautiful walkway, the birdcage, the phone box, and colourful flowers everywhere. One of my favourite photographs of Sophie was from a flower-themed photoshoot she did with Karen Stanley, who sadly couldn’t be with us on the day but kindly gave me copies of the photographs displayed throughout the garden. I was always telling Sophie to do more photoshoots because she was so photogenic, and when she finally did that one, it was incredible. To me, those images capture her perfectly: vibrant, colourful, glamorous and full of life.

Getting this garden finished was not easy. There was a moment in March when I genuinely thought I might not complete it to the standard I wanted. The phone box was unfinished, there were countless details still left to do, and I found myself overwhelmed.

Then a little miracle happened and I managed to find the right team to help me finish it and it’s now complete!

The full memorial is available to watch for free on my website RebeccaMoreLife.comSophie’s Serenity Garden Memorial opening

We’ve started booking our tours so that the three of us can be together as much as possible and honestly… it has turned into absolute carnage in the best possible way.

The moment we checked in, we discovered that all our rooms were next to each other with adjoining balconies. If that isn’t the universe encouraging bad behaviour, I don’t know what is.

Yes, London was in the middle of a heatwave, but thankfully the air conditioning was working overtime, because between the weather and the bookings, things were getting very hot very quickly.

We had a mixture of solos, duos and lots of trios throughout the week, and I have to say, the trios are WILD. The energy is completely different more filth, more teasing, more dressing up, more mischief, and usually a man standing there wondering whether he’s accidentally walked into a fantasy he shouldn’t have been lucky enough to experience.

One of our last clients suggested we should put on an actual show together that didn’t even involve sex… and honestly, he may have a point. The chemistry between us is real because this isn’t three women who met last month. Emily, Sienna and I go way back. We’ve been friends for years, we’ve travelled together, celebrated birthdays together, and spent far too much time encouraging each other’s worst ideas.

Naturally, this weekend we ended up reminiscing about that legendary Tenerife trip with Sophie Anderson. The stories had us crying with laughter. Some memories really do get better with age. What an amazing trip that was!

When we’re not in the bedroom getting up to no good, we’re surprisingly wholesome. We use our breaks to wander around London, go for dinner, take ridiculous amounts of sexy photos, sit on the balcony gossiping, and laugh until our stomachs hurt. Honestly, life doesn’t get much better than that.

Our bookings tend to rotate between solos and duos me with Sienna, Sienna with Emily, Emily with me and then the very popular three-girl experience. We really do make an effort to spoil the man properly. Matching outfits, perfect hair, glossy lips, bronzed skin, and enough teasing to have him struggling before he’s even sat down.

One client actually told us he gets an instant hard-on the second the door opens.

The funniest part is that we all share the stories afterwards. If the girls have had a duo, they’ll come back and tell me exactly what happened. If I’m having a solo, I’ll sometimes leave the door open and they can hear me being very enthusiastically appreciated from the next room. During this tour we even had one client wander onto the balcony and get introduced to whichever girl wasn’t in the booking. It felt less like a tour and more like a very glamorous, very naughty reality show.

I get asked constantly whether the girls will be joining me in Manchester or Scotland. Sadly, not for now… although never say never.

And yes, I know many of you keep reminding me that I’ve said I’ll be taking a break from escorting when the year ends. You know me by now ..I may disappear, I may come back, I may announce retirement and then turn up in six-inch heels a month later. I honestly have no idea.

One of the highlights of the trip was our first night at Ivy Asia in St Paul’s. We were wandering around unable to decide where to eat, dressed fairly casually for once, and ended up there by chance. The restaurant was gorgeous, buzzing with people, and we had such a lovely meal. It was one of those moments where I looked around the table and thought, this is the good stuff.

By the end of the week we were all absolutely shattered…. But the highlights were great food, great friends, endless laughter, and just enough bad behaviour to keep life interesting

So that was the latest chapter of The Mega MILF Tour…part friendship, part glamour, part comedy, and part very adult entertainment.

THE BEST NEWS…Round two is already booked for September.

Pray for the men of London. 😈

Those years ran from around 2004 to 2007 and, honestly, I had a bloody brilliant time.

Back then I was lucky enough to have a boyfriend who looked after my children while I went out and earned the money. Every Friday night I’d be working late in a club somewhere, get home in the early hours, grab a few hours of sleep, then drag myself onto an early train from Maidenhead to Paddington. I was permanently exhausted. In fact, I used to fall asleep so often on the train that complete strangers would have to wake me up when we’d reached London. Looking back, it’s amazing I ever got anywhere on time.

My Saturdays were spent teaching hen parties how to pole dance. By then I’d become good enough to teach professionally, and there was something hilarious about spending Friday nights dancing in clubs and Saturday mornings showing accountants, nurses and brides-to-be how to spin around a pole without breaking their necks.

My first stripping job was at Spearmint Rhino Heathrow. The place was absolutely heaving in those days. It was around the time Prince Harry made headlines for popping in for a late night drink, and suddenly our club became a little bit famous. The funny thing is, my friend and I had already finished our shift and left before he arrived. We missed the entire thing. A few girls ended up selling their stories to the papers and made some decent money from it. One even paid for a nose job. Meanwhile Harry had literally come in, had a drink and left. The media turned it into far more than it actually was. That’s usually how these things go.

What I remember most about Spearmint Rhino wasn’t the celebrities though. It was the doormen. Most of them were absolute arseholes. The place could be incredibly misogynistic. If you were late, even by a few minutes, there would be some ridiculous fine. Fifty quid. A hundred quid. Whatever they could get away with. It felt like certain people were constantly looking for ways to take money off the girls. There was also a weird snobbery. Some dancers looked down on escorts, some of the doormen looked down on everyone, and there was a lot of unnecessary nastiness.

What always struck me was that the toughest looking blokes were rarely the kindest. In fact, the nicest man in the entire club was the barman. While the doormen strutted around acting like minor celebrities, handing out fines and generally making life difficult for the girls, the barman was always lovely. He’d chat to us, look after us and treated us with genuine respect. The security guards, however, were largely a bunch of arseholes.

It was one of the most misogynistic environments I’ve ever worked in. If you were late, they’d find a way to fine you. If they didn’t like you, you’d know about it. Some seemed to take great pleasure in making the girls feel small.

The irony was that the men who talked the most about respect were often the ones showing the least of it. The barman never needed to throw his weight around. He was simply kind..that’s something I’ve noticed throughout my life: the genuinely good men rarely have to prove how tough they are. They just quietly get on with being decent human beings.

Like many dancers, I worked in a few different venues. I spent time at Secrets in London and also worked the famous pound collection pubs. The pubs were my favourite. No glamour. No nonsense. Just hard work and brilliant money. I absolutely loved them.

One of my favourite clubs was SophistiCats on Oxford Street. That place was full of larger than life characters and beautiful girls from the glamour modelling world. We all became one big dysfunctional family.

Back then the industry felt completely different. There was money everywhere. London was buzzing. The clubs were packed. Everyone seemed optimistic about the future.

At SophistiCats we even had a house mum who looked after us at the end of the night she’d make us Philadelphia sandwiches, hand us a packet of crisps and send us home. We had a fabulous gay hairdresser who would do our hair for a fiver, and a dance teacher, all gay, he was amazing had a skull tattoo on his head and was a professional ribbon dancer who helped us improve our pole routines. The song SUPERSONIA by muse always reminds me of him.  Those little things are what I remember most. Not the money. Not the drama. The people.

I remember that while I was working there, all the girls seemed to be getting clitoral piercings. Naturally, I decided I needed one too. There was absolutely no planning involved. I didn’t consult my boyfriend, didn’t ask anyone’s opinion, I just woke up one day and thought, “Right then, let’s do that.” When I got home and proudly revealed my latest impulsive decision, his reaction was somewhere between shock and complete disbelief. “What the fuck?!”

To be fair, it did look amazing.

Unfortunately, my body had other ideas. One day while I was on the pole, my body decided it had had enough and rejected the piercing entirely. Out it came. To this day I’ve still got the scar to prove it ever happened.

That pretty much sums up my stripping years really …impulsive, slightly ridiculous and always entertaining. The thing I loved most about stripping wasn’t actually the dancing. It was the people. I made friends all over the country and worked everywhere from Bournemouth to Devon, Cornwall and countless places I’ve probably forgotten about by now. Most clubs had their own little culture and characters. Reading - the town however, was absolutely bizarre yes they had a club there that was weird! Omg I even worked in Aylesbury! Fuck me it’s all coming back!  I distinctly remember the owner being a complete pervert. The rules made no sense. One minute you’d be told off for dancing too provocatively, then the next minute management would be complaining that you weren’t being provocative enough. It was impossible to win. To be fair, I was never particularly good at following rules anyway. I always seemed to be pushing boundaries, asking questions and doing things my own way.

The early 2000s were a different world. We had huge billboards along the A4 advertising the clubs, the money was flowing, and every weekend felt like another adventure. I worked up and down the country, met some incredible women and made friendships that have lasted far longer than many of the clubs themselves.

I suspect most of those venues have now been turned into luxury flats. The dressing rooms, poles, backstage gossip and late night sandwich runs replaced by expensive apartments and office workers who have no idea what used to happen there.

The funny thing is, despite the long nights, difficult customers, endless train journeys, impossible managers and the occasional idiot, I genuinely loved my stripping era.

It taught me confidence. It taught me resilience. It taught me how to walk into a room full of strangers and hold my own.

Most importantly, it taught me that behind every glamorous photo is usually a tired woman running on three hours of sleep, a train ticket, a packet of crisps from the house mum and pure determination.

What fun it all was ❤️

The reality was… quite different. It was bizarre. Don’t get me wrong, there were some attractive people there, but it certainly wasn’t the glamorous fantasy I’d imagined. What fascinated me most was simply observing. I remember there being a swimming pool and what looked like converted horse stables with beds inside. At one point I saw a woman lying on a bed while a crowd of men surrounded her. I was completely fascinated by the dynamics of it all. She was like a woman possessed!

Rather than jumping straight in, I spent most of that first visit people watching. Looking back, I was more of an observer than a participant. I wanted to understand the environment, the social dynamics and the people. Despite the culture shock, I was hooked. Not necessarily by the sex, but by the curiosity. So we kept going.

One of my funniest memories happened at another party when I met a beautiful woman. I’d always enjoyed exploring connections with women, and we hit it off immediately. My boyfriend left us to spend some time together while we went for a swim. What happened next still makes me laugh. Suddenly it felt like half the men in the club had decided to join us in the pool. Everywhere we moved, they followed. We found ourselves slowly being herded towards a corner and, honestly, it felt more awkward than exciting. We looked at each other, got out of the pool and practically sprinted away. We ended up locking ourselves in a toilet cubicle. My boyfriend quickly realised where we’d disappeared to and came looking for us. The result was one of the funniest and most memorable experiences I’ve ever had at one of these events. To this day, I joke that toilets became my safe space at parties. Whenever something strange was happening outside, I somehow always ended up hiding away with another woman inside a cubicle, having the best conversations and the best laughs.

As our relationship continued, so did our adventures. We explored more clubs, attended more events and eventually began creating content together. He even joined me on some work projects, which was a lot of fun at the time. Eventually, though, our paths diverged. After 5 years together we broke up, and while he headed back into a conventional life, I threw myself headfirst into the adult industry.

Not long afterwards, I decided to attend events on my own. One of the first was Torture Garden. By then I was already filming professionally and working with some well-known names in the industry, so attending a fetish event felt like a natural next step. People kept telling me Torture Garden wasn’t what it used to be.“You can’t even do anything there anymore,” they said. I didn’t care. I wanted to see it for myself. and honestly? I loved it. What I enjoyed most wasn’t even the fetish side of things. It was the people. I always seemed to meet fascinating characters. Models, performers, creatives, professionals, and people from completely unexpected backgrounds. I was naturally a social butterfly, so these environments suited me perfectly. Then one night, standing on the dancefloor, I spotted the most attractive man I’d seen all evening. Tall, ridiculously handsome and carrying himself like he knew exactly who he was. I remember exactly what I was wearing too. A black-and-white latex waistcoat, a red latex mini skirt, latex gloves, a matching hairband, towering heels and a heart-shaped Vivienne Westwood handbag.I felt fabulous, I was so full of myself back then, just different to now, if. I wanted a guy I’m gonna go get him, stuff all this waiting to be approached and I wasn't always successful so it just encouraged me to be a man-go-getter!!! So I danced straight over to him. (a hot version of the dance from the Inbetweeners lol) - it’ worked! Life’s too short, isn’t it?

We got talking immediately and there was instant chemistry. The rest of the evening turned into one of those stories that stays with you forever. What followed was the beginning of a very fun chapter. He became part of our wider friendship group, we shared countless naughty adventures together and eventually we started organising our own parties down in Brighton, I had such a fab friendship group we were all into sex parties and just partying, from the age of 29-36 I partied HARD and had so much fun, I had an excellent network of friends and exciting parties to go to! I remember going to a sex club (sometimes I was too drunk to remember how I got there) but I walked in and I was on the big screen, my ego would explode, it was quite funny! Now that I sit here and reminisce about my sex party, swinger days I went to a lot, Europe, LA, Miami! I was quite the party pants and I have no regrets at all! I actually used to get booked as a party starter - a bit like being the first person on the dance floor but in my case the first person to get naughty!

What I learned from those early experiences wasn’t really about sex at all. It was about curiosity about saying yes to new experiences about meeting people from completely different walks of life and about discovering that reality is almost never what you imagine it will be but often ends up being far more interesting and fun.

Sadly I don’t have as many photographic pics and memories from back then of nights out, we didn’t take pics like we do now, so here is a shot of my early days in a fetish shoot. This scene was banned for being too extreme. This shot is Pre nose job!

!

I head to my usual spot. I love where I stay on tour..there’s this little pocket of West London that feels like a rich village. It’s got a calm, polished energy that I really enjoy. Sometimes I’ll sneak in a blow dry, just because I love having my hair done. There are loads of snazzy cafés around too..perfect for sitting down, ordering a good coffee or a healthy breakfast, and going through messages and yes, London is expensive but so am I…You feel it… honestly, everywhere is now..it’s just the world we’re in.

When I’m on tour, I don’t take on new clients. I’m not that girl. If someone cancels, that slot stays empty unless a regular swoops in and even then, it takes a bit of convincing. I’m big on loyalty. I look after my regulars, and I really look after the ones who give great feedback. I am, after all, a businesswoman… just with a very specific set of skills.

Filming-wise, I had two shoots booked. The first was with someone I’d worked with before we had such a great scene last time, and actually, one of my new ideas came from a client earlier in the week who turned up with incredible outfit suggestions. So… watch this space.

Then came someone new and I loved this one. He arrived early (green flag), was super professional, and even brought a camera to take some really beautiful shots. Just calm, respectful energy from the start.

Now… he was also very well-endowed. I gently set my boundary…no going wild and he dropped to his knees, took my hands, and said:

“Rebecca, I’m a professional. I’ll give you the worst fuck of your life… and make it look good on camera.”

I burst out laughing ! As someone who’s done scenes where things haven’t been handled well that moment told me everything. It broke the ice, it showed awareness, and it was actually… kind. I knew straight away I liked him.

His name’s Tony Rope and I’m genuinely grateful for how considerate, gentle, and skilled he was. He knows exactly what he’s doing, and it made the whole experience feel easy, safe, and fun. You’ll definitely want to check that one out.

By the time I finished, it was around 7pm. My 10pm cancelled he had a cold, which is fair enough. That’s what deposits are for.

I think the universe was looking out for me. I was done. Completely shattered. I slept straight through until 8:30 the next morning. Didn’t move. Didn’t stir. Just pure, needed rest.

I packed up my car and headed to London. I stay at a lovely hotel. I’ve always had a knack for finding the perfect spots in London. I’ve tried the five star places, but if I’m honest they’re a bit too much, all over the client the second they walk in. It’s not my vibe. I go to my usual place, they know me well. I tip everyone, reception, concierge, the maids, I just keep tipping because the truth is, if you find a good spot and you look after people, they look after you right back.

I’d been fully booked for months. I had three cancellations right at the last minute which is frustrating, but that’s what deposits are for. I don’t dwell on it, I just find ways to fill the time, so I decided to make more content, I have many avenues to serve, lots of websites to feed, there is never not a way to fill my time and make money!

I checked in on the Sunday. The drive took three and a half hours which is ridiculous, it’s always fine until I hit London and then everything just slows to a crawl. Still, I had an hour and a half to get ready for my first client so I wasn’t stressed.

He had already sent over everything, outfits, roleplay, all of it. I take that seriously. I had everything laid out, right down to the smallest details. I love blowing my clients mind. When it was time, I sent him the hotel details and room number and waited. The second I opened the door I knew I’d seen him before. I recognised him straight away and I just knew we were about to have a really good time. We went straight into it. I was in my dress, playing myself as a content creator while he came in as this data consultant talking to me about my Twitter profile. We had this quick little back and forth, the roll play involved him trying to leave, I persuade him to have a yoga session and a massage and it just built from there. It flowed so naturally, switching outfits, moving from the “professional” vibe into gym wear, then into something more playful and a WOW Bikini! There was teasing, there was control, there was a lot of sexual energy flying around the room all because he took the time to let me know exactly what he wanted and I delivered with bells on! We managed to fit so much into that hour. It didn’t feel rushed at all, just really fun and easy. A perfect start to the tour.

After he left I had about an hour to reset. Freshen up, tidy the room, change outfits and get myself ready for the next guy. Our communication had been great and to be honest I don’t really see anyone who gives me bad vibes through messages. I trust my instincts on that. The next client was right on time! I sent him the directions, he came in, really good looking guy and I was instantly excited. He’d asked for latex, he’d paid extra to film which was fun! He jumped in the shower while I waited on the bed, ready for him. Camera ready!

We filmed a lot of that session and I loved every second. He was really good. Fuck, he bent me over the sink in the bathroom and I came on his dick which got him going so much he ended up coming too. It was one of those sessions where everything just clicks.

After that I ordered some food and went straight to bed. I wanted proper rest because the next day was a big one.

I had a three hour session booked with a man I’d met about fifteen years ago. I was genuinely excited. He’d also sent outfit requests and he loves satin and PVC. When I tried everything on that I’d bought especially for him I felt unreal. I loved every single piece. I took my time getting ready that morning, hair in rollers, really putting effort into how I looked. For longer bookings I like to make it feel special. I popped out beforehand to grab snacks and drinks for us. I never keep alcohol, I prefer sober bookings, they’re always better, more present, more connected.

When he arrived he looked incredible. Properly made an effort and that means a lot to me. All my clients tend to be well turned out now and I love that. Gone are the days of men turning up in builder gear or scruffy sportswear. No thank you. This man came dressed to impress and honestly he fucking did! He wanted to film as well and had paid extra for that. I told him to just keep the cameras rolling, even the in between bits, because the behind the scenes is just as sexy as the final footage. Later that evening he told me I was right and he was so happy with what we got, we are seeing each other again, next time a trio with Sienna and Emily, we can’t wait!!!!

Those three hours were incredible. I love a man who can be really filthy but also hold a proper conversation. I like getting to know my clients, but I also give them space to share only what they want. I’m very open, a lot of my life is out there anyway, and I do get close to people, but I always make sure they understand this is still a business. I’ve blurred those lines before and it never ends well. If you’re reading this and you’ve ever messed around with an escort, you’ll know exactly what I mean.

After he left I was wrecked. Hair everywhere, makeup ruined, we had fucked hard for three hours and it was hot. I ran myself a bath and started checking in with my next clients. Both had confirmed and paid deposits, but one cancelled last minute. I was fine with it, no drama at all. I messaged the other and asked if he wanted to come earlier and he jumped at it. Originally he was booked for the June tour but was clear about seeing me sooner , I got myself all dolled up again and waited. He was right on time…

When he walked in I actually thought, fuck my life, this guy is hot. I don’t know what he does but he had that look about him. I never ask anyway, I hate being asked that myself so I’d never do it to someone else.

He liked being dominant and had already checked boundaries earlier in the day which I really respect. We ended up having a really physical session. Because it was my last booking of the day I told him he could come on my face, ruin my makeup, do whatever he wanted because I was going straight to bed after. He loved that.

I deepthroated him the whole session, just went wild with it. There’s this idea that the last booking is the worst because you’re tired, but it’s actually the opposite. The last booking is the best because there’s nothing left to hold back. Everything can get messy. Everything can be let go. That’s something people don’t realise.

Today is a filming day. I’ve got two scenes booked, it’s a shared content day so it’ll be a bit more chilled. Tomorrow I’m back to a full day of clients again and I’ll be back to tell you all about it.

Until then… xx

I’m all for helping people who are genuinely trying, but there’s a difference between asking for guidance and expecting a full blueprint handed to you on a plate. A lot of it just feels lazy. Tonight tipped me over the edge. I’ve been on the front page consistently, working hard for that position, and I get an email from someone asking me to “give them a chance.” It’s an auction, you don’t get given a chance. You take it. You outbid…You show up..You compete..That’s the game. What happened to working things out for yourself? To building something through effort instead of entitlement?

I’ve never had anything handed to me, and I wouldn’t want it that way. That’s where the resilience comes from. That’s where the edge is built. These days, I don’t engage. I block and move on the truth is, I don’t owe anyone anything and protecting my energy in this industry isn’t optional it’s essential.

Some people don’t just die, they disappear long before they go, and the hardest part is grieving them twice.

I’ve been working so hard on Sophie’s memorial garden, I’m calling it Sophie’s Serenity Garden, it’s fucking beautiful. It used to be a dead part of the garden, completely forgotten, no life in it at all, and I’ve brought it back for her, every decision has been a quiet act of devotion, it’s been my way of still loving her and it’s honestly going to be magical. Today when everyone had gone I sat down there on one of the two seats just silence, just me and this space that now feels like hers, and I imagined her next to me, not the version the world saw at the end but her, the real her, the girl before the drugs took over her soul, silly, fun, warm, the girl I fell in love with as a friend, and I asked her “do you like it?”I do this thing where I imagine she can see what I’ve done, I don’t know if that’s madness or comfort but it helps, there is a robin that keeps visiting the garden, it’s really tame, like it’s not scared of me at all and I can’t help but feel like it means something, like it’s her or something sent from her just checking in, and when the weather is nice the butterflies come, always at the right time, I’ve always believed they are connected to the spirit world somehow, little signs, little moments that say you’re not alone in this. Losing her has been something I still don’t think I’ve fully accepted because how do you accept that someone is just gone and never coming back. I think about her ashes sometimes, I wish I had them but that’s me being selfish, that’s me wanting something physical to hold onto, Sophie made her wishes clear in her suicide note and even though she was so unwell, so far gone from herself, I have to respect that, it was tragic, completely tragic. I had never seen someone fall so fast into addiction, it was like watching someone disappear in real time, by the time we did the intervention back in September 2023 I didn’t recognise her anymore, everything had changed, even her voice, something wasn’t right and I’ll always feel that, I’ll always question things and wonder how much of it was her and how much of it wasn’t. That’s the hardest part, your mind tries to rewrite the ending, it tries to find a version where things turned out differently, where she got better, where she stayed, where we were still us, still friends, laughing, living, just being us before everything got so dark but that’s not the ending we got. So I’ve had to learn something I never wanted to learn, I’ve had to learn to forgive, not for anyone else but for myself because carrying anger and what ifs will eat me alive and instead I hold onto her the only way I can, frozen in time, in the good old days before he came along before the drugs, before everything unravelled, just Sophie.

And maybe that’s what this garden really is, not just a place for her, but a place for me to sit with the version of her that never left.❤️🫶

I’m finally home, and honestly… what a day.

Can you believe I was an hour late for my date? It took four bloody hours to get into London…4 hours, there had been an accident but my lovely client was appreciative of me taking the time to travel and the accident soon cleared up, I hope no one was hurt! I was set to arrive at 3.30pm but the accident had me arrive at 5pm when we were scheduled to meet at 4pm! He was so cool about it!

I had the most amazing time. My client, as always, was an absolute gentleman and completely spoilt me. A Dior necklace and matching Dior earrings… and they were perfect exactly my taste. I do love a man who pays attention, gold and pearl really gorgeous, I put them on straight away! 😍

The hotel was stunning, really snazzy, not one I’d been to before very posh, I’m used to top end hotels, I’ve been sneaking into them for years and by that I mean when I was poor as shit and didn’t have half the kit I have now! I remember going into The Lanesborough years ago to meet a client and I managed to get to the floor I needed but I got lost and this butler came up to me and asked me what room I was going to, so he escorted me to the room (which I bloody hated) it was so funny seeing my client open the door to me stood there with a butler with a fucking top hat and tail! I remember that date, I was 29 at the time.

I took my rollers out while I was driving, did that final check in the mirror, dropped the car to valet and walked straight in like I belonged there… because I do. I had his name and room number, but of course these places are all key card access. So I called him from reception. And waited. And waited…10 minutes went by with no answer and I could feel that familiar panic creeping in. Had he thought I’d cancelled? Was there a mix up? The language barrier crossed my mind and suddenly my head was running away with itself.

I asked reception to call up. “He’s not in his room,” they said. ….Brilliant!! For a moment, my stomach dropped. That horrible feeling….even with a solid deposit, you never fancy being let down. But then, out of nowhere, he appeared from around the corner like nothing had happened. “No signal upstairs” he calmly says! No drama Just me getting ahead of myself. Gosh I felt so silly lol! It did make me laugh though… how quickly I went to the worst case scenario. That’s me, isn’t it? Trust issues creeping in where they’re not needed the truth is, this man has never let me down. Not once. Always respectful. Always consistent. We went for a drink first, he was so happy to see me, noticed I had lost weight but said how gorgeous I looked and asked all about what I had been up to since we last saw one another. (I often see him in various other countries) I told him, I love flirting and talking before hand it’s a bit like fore play! I could wait to get to the room! He looked so hot!!!!

We had a wonderful time together, easy, familiar, a bit indulgent… exactly how it should be. And when it was time to leave, I headed back down knowing full well my car would be waiting. I’d already tipped the concierge.

There it was, right at the front ready and waiting like clockwork. …. REBECCA MORE number plate ( hardly discrete now lol)

I always tip hotel staff, Always. Money talks, bullshit walks. It’s not just about generosity, it’s strategy. It keeps things smooth, discreet, effortless. Whether I’m visiting or staying, I get better service every single time. Doors open, questions aren’t asked, and people tend to look the other way when needed and in my world, that matters.

There’s something quite thrilling about it all… slipping in and out of these beautiful places, living in those little pockets of luxury and secrecy. A bit wild, a bit glamorous, always exciting.

Just how I like it.

Back home now with my seven doggies, take my slap off and get to sleep ready for another fun day tomorrow 💋

Night night xxx

So fast forward to 2026… what actually happened?

My kids are older now which is mad in itself. I explained to my daughter that when she was young I was in survival mode just thinking about each day and how to get through it doing all the things mums do with not enough money and support and when making those decisions I never thought about them growing up but they did and life got easier.

I bought my dream home. A big 16th-century beast of a place that constantly needs something doing. It’s stressful, expensive, overwhelming at times… and I absolutely love it. It’s mine. Every inch of it feels earned.

Relationships? Yeah… more failed ones. Shock. But my last one, ohhh that really tested me, that was around the same time as Sophie passing and it was all pretty rough from 2020 - 2024!

But instead of breaking me like they used to, something in me just went, right… enough now. I made peace with it. Proper peace. Not the fake “I’m fine” crap actual acceptance the truth is… I don’t fit that life, I tried it. I tried dating “normal” men… and honestly? I fucking hated it. The expectations, the judgement, the subtle digs about my past… no thanks. I won’t be doing that again. Most men are delusional, they was the fantasy woman 24/7 for FREE 😂 oh they have no idea!

I’d rather be on my own. In my house with my seven rescue dogs, it’s a home full of love and happiness, heavily run by women, 2 female housekeepers a couple who work on the grounds who are amazing and my gardener! So I’m living a life that actually suits me.

And the industry? Still here. Still a huge part of me. Because I love it. I always have. People don’t get that but they don’t have to. I’ve made real friendships in this world. Solid ones. I’ve built something from nothing. And yeah, I get booked, spoiled, desired… but it’s on my terms. That’s the difference. That’s the power and  let’s be honest being a woman in this game? Your past gets thrown at you when it comes to dating. Like you’re supposed to feel ashamed or settle because of it. Nah. If anything, it gave me a green light. Permission to stop trying to fit into a life that was never built for me in the first place. I think more women are clocking onto that now. You can feel it online, in conversations… women are just done. Done with shit relationships. Done with playing small. Done with pretending they’re happy when they’re not. That whole “just be grateful you’ve got a man” energy? Dead.

My life is full. Busy. A bit mental but in a good way. I’m renovating this massive old house, juggling work, training… I’m always onto the next thing. Right now it’s the 3 Peaks 24-hour challenge with my daughter she’s 21 now, which is just… mad. There’s so much story there, I haven’t even scratched the surface yet.

And Sophie… that’s a whole chapter I’m not done with. I’ll talk about her properly, when I’m ready. That one deserves more than a throwaway paragraph. So sad and heart breaking and I’ll never be over her and what happened again a man. Some of her last words to me where “I thought he loved me” When someone is hell bent on harm and destruction of another person that is not love that is pure evil. Damien was evil and I will get to this. I have found forgiveness in my heart. I was at his inquest non of his family were, I found that a bit odd.

But what I will say is this I’m happy…finally! Not in a fake way… but in a real, grounded, “I’ve been through some shit and I’m still standing” kind of way. Everything that went wrong… somehow went right.

So it’s 8.23am now 23rd Feb my dogs are snuggled next to me and I’m writing this from my coat bed, I’m about to get up, walk into my garden, walk the dogs and then get dolled up to go to work which is about 5 metres from my house! I’ve created an epic safe space and I’m so happy! Tomorrow I have a hot “date” that’s what we call my clients now DATES 💋 I just get paid for my time these days. So I had best get up and get ready and I’ll see you soon for some more entry’s 💋❤️

Tbh It hit me like a wave of memories I thought I’d packed away for good. The kind of memories that sit in your chest. The ones that remind me exactly where I came from and why I became who I am today!

I know what it feels like to be a single mother with nothing. To feel powerless, trapped and like the life you were promised the “family”, the security, the love was never real to begin with.

I became a mum at 17 a child, raising a child and then again at 24. Relationships that were built on control, fear, and survival. Looking back now, it’s no surprise I ended up where I did.

Here’s where people might judge me. I found my way into the adult industry not in the way people expect for me… it didn’t destroy my life, It saved it.

It gave me options when I had none.

It gave me control when everything else felt out of my hands. It gave me a way to provide, to rebuild, to stand on my own two feet and yet, society loves to shame women like me . Women who make choices out of survival. Women who take back ownership of their bodies. Women who refuse to stay stuck.

This isn’t a story of glamour. It’s a story of survival of being poor, invisible and navigating motherhood while trying to piece yourself back together.

Watching Maid brought it all flooding back the fear, the instability, the moments where I genuinely didn’t know how I was going to get through. But I did and I’m here now, not as a victim but as someone who’s lived it. Who’s still unpacking it ready to tell the truth about it.

I’m going to share the highs, the lows, and everything in between. The parts people don’t talk about.

And to understand any of it… we have to start at the beginning.

Looking back now, with the clarity I didn’t have then, I can see how impressionable I was and how easy it would have been to influence me but at 15, you don’t see danger you see excitement I saw an escape and I wanted to escape my mum and dad so bad!

Home never felt like a place I could breathe. My dad was controlling, and I spent most of my teenage years desperate for freedom. I would have done anything to feel like I had my own life, my own choices, my own space.

He offered me that or at least, what looked like it. He introduced me to a different world. Nights out, music, energy … it felt like everything I’d been missing. This was a time before phones, before constant connection just pure, chaotic nightlife. I was young, wide open, and completely swept up in it.

Somewhere in the middle of all that, the conversations shifted. He started talking about a future. About a home. About building something together and I believed him.

I thought I knew what I was doing. I thought I was in control of my choices. But when I look back now, I can see how quickly things changed once I was isolated from everything familiar. That’s when the dynamic shifted.

What once felt exciting began to feel heavy. Controlling. Unpredictable but by then, I was already in it. Deep in it.

I had made the decision to become a mum at 16, convinced I was ready for a life I didn’t yet understand.

My son was born on 23rd December 1997 at Wexham Park Hospital. I remember being in the hospital over Christmas, the world carrying on outside while my entire life changed in an instant. I remember the Spice Girls playing on MTV, and when I look back at photos now, I see just how young I really was.

A child, holding a child.

The birth itself was complicated, ending in a C-section, but I was safe. And despite everything, I loved being a mum. That part came naturally to me in a way nothing else ever had. At the time, I was working in a hairdressers, trying to build some kind of normal life around this new reality. But underneath it all, things were already beginning to unravel.

The relationship I had believed in the one I thought would give me stability, a home, a future became something very different behind closed doors and it didn’t take long for me to realise…I had chosen the wrong person to build a life with.

I stayed for seven months after my son was born. Seven months of a situation I knew, deep down, I couldn’t stay in, it was violent, miserable and not what I had signed up to, eventually, I left, it was so bad I had no choice, the last time I said as he pushed me to the ground and I hit my head in public, I ran back into the house, packed everything up and left with my son and promised I would never go back, I was so desperate I would drive until I ran out of petrol but I would work it out but I knew a life of violence was not for me! I had to do it for me and my son, I had no idea what I was going to do, so I called my sister , I had not seen or spoken to any of my family since before the baby was born, I remember being in the phone box and trust me when you are that desperate you don’t care, I didn’t know about women’s refuge’s or anything like that but my sister stepped up and told me to come home…..

Going home with a new born TBC

My parents both carried their own trauma long before I was even born.

My dad lost his father young and was raised largely by his sister. He became a workaholic driven, disciplined, always working. That’s where I get my work ethic from. I was working from the age of 12, I’ve always loved a pound note.

My mum’s story is harder to write.

She lost her mother young, and the woman who came into her life after that… wasn’t kind. She experienced a level of abuse that no child should ever go through. It was so severe it even made the newspapers. Eventually, she was adopted by the people I came to know as my grandparents.

They were deeply religious, and I think that shaped a lot of my mum’s views especially her rejection of it later in life.

When I look back now, I see two people who never really had the chance to be emotionally supported themselves… trying to raise children.

And that has consequences.

There wasn’t a lot of emotional warmth in our house. Not in the way children need it. My mum showed love through food..she was an incredible cook but emotionally, things felt distant.

My earliest memories are of tension. Of my dad shouting at my older step sister. Of an environment that never quite felt calm.

We’re all estranged now.

But none of this is about blame.

It’s about understanding.

Because everything that came next… started here…. tbc