Welcome to issue #20 of Referee Playbook. Short essays from an International Referee and Performance Life Coach at HPSNZ, exploring high pressure decision making, self-leadership, personal development, and performance in sport and life.

The Steep Track and the Tourist Feeling

Last week I stepped into a new arena.

I walked into The Cambridge Velodrome, a huge towering stadium.

It’s hard to get your head around just how steep the track is.

The enclosed ceiling and tiered seating arc above the slanted wooden surface.

New Zealand’s largest Velodrome, and home to Cycling New Zealand.

It’s also a High Performance Sport New Zealand National Performance Centre.

Where HP athletes centre themselves for gym, rehab, and support services every week.

Walking in on my first day - I felt like a tourist.

I was introduced to them all:

Physios, S&C coaches, Sport psychologists, nutritionists, analysts, culture leads, selectors, and performance coaches.

Many of them buzzing with excitement as they were about to board flights to Glasgow for the Commonwealth Games.

These are people at the peak of their professions.

All working toward one goal: To inspire performance every day.

“Gidday, I Follow You on LinkedIn”

Two coaches I met and will work with closely, they knew who I was!

“Gidday, I follow you on LinkedIn” - gulp!

On both occasions, I was embarrassed. I shrugged it off.. even apologized!

But both corrected me.

“No, I connected with you” “I’ve enjoyed following your journey”

Being awkward, brave, and showing up in public.

Sharing my fears, failures, learnings, and wins in an open way.

It’s actually contributed to me getting into the building at HPSNZ.

A place I never would have dreamed I would end up.

But now one, where there are people who have an idea of my values.

What I believe. What I’m trying to achieve.

Increasing the Surface Area of Getting Lucky

I’m beginning to realize, there are more and more people like me.

Everything i’ve done in the last 5-Years since leaving my corporate career.

It’s been to increase my chances of getting lucky!

Meeting the right person, at the right time, in the right place.

Actively hunting and searching for chances to increase my surface area of luck.

Being known as someone with my hand up instead of out.

Keen to take on a challenge, keen to practice and develop my own self-leadership.

Precision, Benchmarks, and a Different Way of Moving

Being in an environment focused on high performance is strikingly different.

I’m already noticing how these professionals engage and carry themselves.

There is a preciseness and factual nature in the way they make decisions.

There are benchmarks, performance standards, clear strategy, and expectations.

It’s a building full of new potential mentors and interesting people.

Who have their own stories and journeys within sport.

From all over the country, and the globe to be based in this centre.

The swipe card on my car key is literally a key into a new arena.

An arena where purpose is simple:

To support and develop the athletes who inspire New Zealanders.

The Same Bubble as an International Tournament

The energy at the HPSNZ Performance Centre.

It’s the same feeling I get when I’m at an international hockey tournament.

That feeling of being at the centre of your sport, and the world is watching.

There is public interest, scrutiny, time feels compressed.

The feeling that everything outside the competition is temporarily irrelevant.

Inside a bubble where all that matters is your performance and the competition.

Inside this environment, at the Performance Centre - People want clarity.

I think I’m drawn to it because this is my definition of a high performance as a referee.

It’s always about clarity.

Locked In, and the New Measuring Stick

I’ve already had the privilege of meeting a Paralympian striving for the LA Olympics.

A young group of cyclists picked to ride team pursuit in Brisbane in 2032.

Their goals are set, the path is clear. They’re the definition of locked in.

It’s hard to compare my passion and sense of drive to these athletes.

But I want to explore it and learn how they’re able to push themselves.

At the end of the day, my version of high performance is as a referee.

Testing my ability to have elite accuracy and decision making under fatigue and pressure.

To match tempo and tactics of the best hockey players on the planet.

In this building, there’s no question. There’s a higher performance standard.

For these athletes, elite decision-making under fatigue and pressure is normal.

This is the new standard I get to compare and measure myself against

I’ve spent years coaching young umpires in my hometown. But this week, on the side of a U15 School Boys game, something really cut through.

I hurried through dinner with my own family before jetting off down the road to help the next generation of kids.

There is something special about it…. Remembering back to when I was a kid like them, and having someone take the time to make an effort to support me.

It meant a lot. It made a huge difference in my development.

I was making my way around the field. I often do this, just to get a sniff of the game, the spectators, the coaching staff, and the teams in their dugouts. Not only to get a sense of their mood, but also to let people know I’m there.

The Sideline Encounter

I see a parent who I recognize.

She used to drop her then 10 or 11 year old into my local club where I would facilitate workshops.

This kid was the definition of keen. He would come to both the youth and adult workshops, but that didn’t bother me. I would reassure his Mum that I would keep an eye on and also made sure he felt welcome with the adults.

I always remember his hand jetting up when I would ask the room a question, to the point we would nearly fall off his chair.

Anyway, I bump into her on the sideline as he is playing in the game. He’s just started at high school where he had to interview with the principal to get a spot in the boarding house.

The principal asked him a question: If you could have 1 person in the world around for dinner, who would it be?

His answer? Bevan Nichol, the international hockey umpire.

He had gone on to explain to the principal how he loved playing as well as umpiring hockey, and that I was an inspiration for him. The principal had taken a real shine and interest into this response, and he got a spot at the school.

My Immediate Reaction

I Tried To Play It Cool

In the moment, I laughed and brushed it off.

I guess that’s what kiwis do. But then, after the game and as I was coaching the two umpires for the game, he came over to chat.

I noticed how happy he seemed to be to see me, how he was keen to make conversation, and didn’t seem like he wanted to leave and make his way home.

It all made sense.

The Drive Home Realisation

On the drive home, it really struck me. This kid - this regular, passionate young lad - sees me as his hero. Not a superstar player. Not a celebrity. An umpire.

Me… just a regular battler trying my best to help kids like him, and chase a dream and the challenge of refereeing my favorite sport at the very top level.

I realized how special this was. How strange it felt, but also a sense of responsibility now for this little dude.

When I got home, I dug through a drawer and found one of my international shirts with all the branding and logos on it.

I’m going to deliver it to him at his next match.

Encourage him, take an interest in his game, and offer him some pointers.

Why This Matters

There’s probably not a chance I can make him realize how meaningful this little experience has been for me.

But I can try to make his day, and that’s what I’ll do.

Sometimes the smallest recognition reminds us why we do this often thankless, invisible work. In one breath, I’m coping with endless criticism from the sidelines, yet here’s a kid who sees the value in what I do.

It can be an incredibly lonely journey. A long time between meaningful thank you’s, tournaments to see friends, or a visit from a coach.

But every now and then, I get a little reminder that there could be a kid on the sideline watching the person they hope to become one day.

What a feeling! But also, a sense of responsibility.

Have you had a moment of influence on someone else in your sport or career?

What is the difference between regret and worry?

I’m on a tough local derby match between rival teams. The home team knocked the away out in the semi-final last year, and it’s the first time they’ve clashed since that match.

The first goal is for the home team, and there is a firm reaction from the away defenders who challenge the goal decision, screaming for an obstruction on their keeper.

Their appeals feel genuine, and you know one of them personally. In your gut, deep down, you know there’s a good chance you’ve missed something, but you’ve not seen it, nothing from your colleague, the goal has to stand.

Now I’m on edge. It’s going to be hard work from here. They believe one has gone against them. I start to replay the situation in my head. I also consider what I might say when challenged after the game:

• How the conversation might go,

• How frustrated they’ll be

I’m distracted. I lose focus.

Now I’ve missed a physical play in the midfield, and everyone is shouting.

The cycle continues! I’m in the Regret and Worry Loop.

So What is the Regret and Worry Loop?

We’ve all been there:

• Regret: Kicking ourselves for a mistake we’ve made

• Worry: Dreading future reactions and judgement

• Snowball: Distraction -> next error -> more regret

You see this all the time with elite performance athletes and game referees alike.

But for referees, it can be heightened. We’re in high-stakes environments, isolated on the field without the shield of teammates, and put under post-game pressure in local, national, and international settings.

We all know the club team, coach, or parents on the sideline that pour on the theatrics and emotional attacks after the full-time whistle.

“Hard done by, nothing went their way, reffs had it in for them, victim mentality.”

The end result: Heightened regret and worry mean higher adrenaline and cortisol levels; meaning decreases in working memory and decision making.

The reality is a dip in the key ingredients that make good referees.

The Story That Still Stings 6-Months Later

I’ve been there myself.

The pain of one decision in a Junior World Cup semifinal Under Lights in Chennai, India. Missing an opportunity to step back from the action and make a decision that didn’t hang myself, or rule a team out from a chance to win a World Cup.

A raised ball into the circle in the dying minutes, a clash of sticks, no clear touch, potentially a foot, ball in the goal. My gut reaction in the moment was goal.

The message from the video box on review, was no advice possible.

Looking back, if only I had been able to have a slightly higher level of introspection and heightened game awareness. A long corner and a video review instead of a goal and an afterthought. Things could have played out differently.

Minor details in the heat of the moment, but oh so impactful.

So how on earth do we break the regret and worry loop?

Is there a secret sauce?

Ideas for Breaking the Loop

Many coaches will tell you, “Just focus harder” or “have a thicker skin”. This advice is bull s***!

To develop real improvement and performance at a high level over a full game, tournament, or season, there is so much more to the story.

When I started to read and research mental skills, and engage with a performance coach on how I could build them into my game, things stepped up for me significantly.

I believe it’s what separates good from very good, or world-level umpires. Ignoring the loop, trying your best, having thicker skin, or blocking feedback out are a hopeless battle.

Here are some tools that I experiment with and use in the moment while I’m out there in the heat of the battle.

Immediate Reset Techniques

• “Next Play” mantra: Focus on the next decision, and then the one after that. Borrow this from elite athletes who assume errors in their game and minimize their damage. One of the best hockey umpires in the country who is on their way to the 2026 World Cup uses a simple “get the next one”.
  

• Physical + Breath Anchor: Three-second box breath + shoulder brush. I literally feel the air leave my nose and that breaks the negative story. Strange but stupidly effective. Something I always noticed the tennis players do, the sleeve readjustment - It signifies brushing the mistake off.
  

• Pre-Commit: Step onto the field pre-programmed to help reduce regret, and second guessing. I go into every game with a default reset that “they’re not attacking me personally”. In these moments of pressure and being challenged, it brings me down just a layer of stress.

These are small and mostly unnoticeable! But they can be most effective.

I’ve read that Richie McCaw would adjust his wrist tape before every All-Blacks tactical decision: Bringing him back to the moment before deciding whether to kick at goal and take the points, or kick for the corner and take a risk.

If it worked for him, I figure it can work for me.

The Regret and Worry Loop doesn’t break itself.

You don’t “just focus harder” your way out of it.

You don’t “Grow a thicker skin” and magically become bulletproof.

The referees who last, who thrive at local derbies and on the world stage, aren’t the ones who never miss a call. They’re the ones who built systems to contain the miss before it eats the next ten.

To the players, coaches, and parents screaming from the sideline: Next time you unload on the umpire thirty seconds after a decision, understand this - they’re probably already deep in the loop.

Your theatrics aren’t “just passion.” You’re often pouring fuel on the exact mental fire that causes the next mistake.

We’re human!

To my fellow Referees, Umpires, Officials:

• Start working on a Reset Tool this weekend.

• Visualise your next storm. Write your pre-commit rules.

• Practise your resets. Then get the next one.

Let me know how you get on. Do you think these could work for you?

Do you want me to be right or consistent? I argue that I cannot be both.

Any of these comments sound familiar?

• It was different down the other end!

• That’s the same as the one from before!

• That was a card in the first half!

These set a dangerous trap that referees fall into. We incorrectly prioritise being consistent in a way that compounds an original mistake or point of contention.

My take on what I call ‘The Consistency Charade’ and the potential of being more ‘Professionally Human’.

Am I far off?

The ‘Make Up Call’

“Different down the other end! Same as the one from before! A card in the first half!”

What you’re actually asking for is a ‘Make Up Call’: A decision where the referee ‘evens the score’ after a perceived or actual error, or a contentious decision.

This is a dangerous trap of incorrectly being consistent in a way that compounds the original mistake or point of conflict.

Being fair isn’t a mathematical equation of errors or controversy; it’s a commitment to the current moment. The goal is to be as accurate as possible in real-time.

Sticking with an incorrect line of decision-making to appear consistent actually depletes credibility in the long run. You get found out!

I see this all the time in matches that end up with several cards and players on the naughty seat, because the referees feel they have to be consistent and ‘hold the line’.

This is not the path to success!

In contrast, the humility to put your hand up when you see it differently is what earns long-term respect from players and coaches.

Accuracy in the Age of High Scrutiny

We live in an era where every decision can be analyzed for clicks and social media outrage: What I call Toxic Referee Culture.

This can highlight and showcase nightmare moments where single decisions define tournaments.

In the modern reality with video referral, super slow-motion, and multiple angles, the “truth” is often visible to everyone but the guy or girl on the field holding the whistle.

My position: Always prioritize the truth over the charade of appearing consistent. It’s the only way to survive the scrutiny.

When you have the courage to self-correct, ignore the screaming bench and grandstand, or when you’re offered new evidence from the video.

You aren’t being inconsistent; you’re reinforcing a commitment to being as fair and accurate as humanly possible.

Leadership: The Corporate Consistency Charade

This idea also feels relevant in our professional lives.

Middle managers and seasoned professionals everywhere nod along, chained to recycled strategy, maintaining the status quo. Being overly agreeable in Zoom meetings about upcoming Zoom meetings.

We’ve slipped into cohorts of silent quitters and seat warmers, just doing what’s needed to keep the boss happy and make it through to the weekend.

In, The Death of the Corporate Career. We go along with poor ideas, watered-down standards, and ignore challenges that should be tackled to generate progress, growth, or improvement.

We stay in: Teams. Jobs. Careers and Sectors:

That don’t align with our skills or passion for fear of what could come in discomfort and new problems to solve.

Just as the reff ignores a shirt pull or a poor tackle because they missed or played one down earlier. The middle manager or corporate season-pro copy and pastes the same old speaking notes for their team meeting.

Make the First Move: Put Your Hand Up

It’s time to put our hands up instead of out, leaning into what it means to be a leader.

In a climate of increasing sideline aggression, poor sportsmanship, and leadership that is lacking, the most consistent you can be is professionally human.

• Make the first move to engage with a frustrated coach, international guest player, or teammate at work.

• Put your hand up and raise a meaningful issue, make a bold request, or challenge a nod along agenda in a meeting.

Move past the charade of blind consistency and the path of least resistance.

Whether it is admitting a mistake in a local derby match. Putting your hand up when the boss needs a volunteer. Or you’re a coach parroting the same old rhetoric after a game, asking for more consistency.

My question to you is this:

• Are you just reading from the same old song sheet, or is there a way we can be more professionally human?

The Half-Time Hooter: Chaos on Cue

The hooter finally blasts to end the first half of my final match. Hobart’s Tasmanian Hockey Centre is electric. A record home Pro League crowd well over 2,500, sun beating down in February Australian summer, cameras rolling from every angle. Three of the world’s best eight teams battling in a tightly fought series, these two are top-4 contenders with Olympic qualification on the line. The coach reminded us of this after the first match.

Scores locked at 2-2. One goal heavily disputed, multiple high-profile on-field calls reviewed and flipped by our teammate in the video box. Both teams pulling every string: tactical protests, constant sideline pressure on us officials, leveraging past series grievances, even diving to milk penalties.

Walking off the pitch toward the dressing room, a player steps right up, coach right behind - confronting us again about a call. Voices raised, gestures sharp. We shake them off professionally, but the tension lingers. Everyone regroups. In our umpires’ room, sweat pouring, air thick with heat and adrenaline, our coach cuts through: “How do you feel?”

Instantly, with no restraint, I respond: “Under pressure.

The Lightning Bolt Moment

Saying it out loud “I feel under pressure” was like flipping a switch. The fog of doubt cleared instantly. All the protests, the challenges, the yelling from the benches, the dramatic sideline theatre, the ohhs and ahhs from the stands.

My own advice rings in my ears: They’re not attacking me. This is high-stakes elite sport.

Teams are trained to manipulate every possible angle for advantage:

• Delay tactics

• Verbal barrages

• Questioning critical decisions

All part of attempts to unsettle officials and disrupt matches that aren’t going their way.

And honestly? If I swapped places with them: Down a goal, season or Olympic qualification slipping away - I’d be doing the same. Every lever pulled. Every protest perfected.

Hell, I can barely keep my lid in a social summer hockey game!

Expecting that noise removes the surprise element. It strips away the self-imposed extra pressure I add by taking it personally. The real pressure exists - High stakes, split-second decisions under global scrutiny and assessment, but adding it unnecessarily isn’t helpful.

After the dust had settled. I’ve been able to land on these three big learnings:

1. Trust is built through elite-level accuracy

There’s no substitute for getting the call right, and we learn this the hard way.

Accuracy on the world stage is the result of doing the hard yards long before you step onto the pitch. Knowing the rules, analysing video, maintaining fitness, and mental focus.

When the crowd and benches are roaring and the stakes are Olympic-sized, my internal peace of mind comes from knowing I’ve done the work and applied the necessary structured effort.

I can’t control how my decisions are received or judged, but I can stick to my preparation and apply my knowledge as consistently and as accurately as I can.

Deep down, I know that that’s all anyone can ask of me. But the reality remains - We must be accurate to a high performance level.

2. Sometimes You Won’t Win Over a Frustrated Player or Team.

We must acknowledge that players and coaches have one single thing on their agenda at the world level - Winning. Their professional careers literally depend on it.

There aren’t participation awards, nor does everyone get a prize.

Teams are trained, and practice manipulating every possible angle for their advantage, which includes verbal challenges and tactical protests designed to unsettle officials.

By accepting that not even every CORRECT call will be appreciated, I recognise that their frustration is a reaction to the high-stakes nature of the environment we’re in.

And sometimes, I just need to accept that they are allowed to be pissed with me.

3. As Officials, we have to make the first move

Reflecting on two exchanges I had in Hobart: One, with the Australian Head Coach, and the second with one of the top players in the world from Germany, came this insight:

Whether it’s before or after a game, pitch-side, or breaking the ice in the hotel, initiating professional and friendly conversation helps move relationships beyond the charade of sideline theatre and post-match handshakes.

Making the first move opens the door to me living by my values and what it means to be a Kiwi: Being confident without arrogance and earning respect through openness and vulnerability.

These, to me, are small acts of unconventional leadership.

Final thought

Pressure isn’t to be feared, whether it’s sport, business, or keeping your cool through a 2-year-old toddler meltdown. The protests, the stakes, the self-doubt - they’re not accidental, they’re meant to be there.

When the pressure peaks - We must choose to walk toward it.

Do you agree?

I’m on the big game at the main venue. The crowd has shown in their thousands for the business end of the tournament. It’s a big clash between two rival teams. Both are known for their talent, flair, emotion, and full commitment to every game.

There’s a cool evening breeze, and we’re playing under lights. The stadium lights up one of the bustling city centres of India. There’s something about being under lights, when the crowd tempers along with the highs and lows of the game, that makes things feel slightly surreal. Like you’re inside a bubble, where everything existing outside seems of no importance or value.

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Building to the Moment

From the far side of the pitch, my view includes the team benches and the towering stand behind them, full of local and traveling fans. The game has been electric, and as expected, has delivered in all-out action. My colleague is a friend from Malaysia, one of the best on the continent, and a previous room mate who I feel comfortable with.

From our perspective as the referees, things are going well; we’ve only needed to intervene in a few key moments. We’ve managed emotions, remained highly accurate, kept things fair, and:

Most importantly: avoided any controversy. This is the ultimate goal on such a high profile match.

We’ve both carried ourselves strongly through a gruelling 15-day tournament, umpiring at least once a day with either a reserve or a video box appointment as well. We’ve built up to this match and want to do our absolute best for the players and the tournament, providing the best service we can offer.

Four Minutes from the Finish Line

The final quarter ramps up in intensity, and I notice my emotions and mind start to pulse. The teams are also slipping into this mode, as fatigue and desperation start to creep in.

The players train for two years to make it to this moment. Most would only ever get the chance to compete at a junior World Cup once, few make it twice. Their build-up includes intense training, tours, and warm-up tournaments. Fitness testing, diet, time away from home, and major sacrifices in their freedom and social lives.

A huge commitment at the age of 19 or 20 for their number one cause: Win a gold medal for their country at a World Cup

The teams travel halfway around the world to land in India, sometimes weeks in advance. They have to adjust to the climate, playing surfaces, local conditions, what they can eat and drink safely, and of course, their opposition throughout the tournament.

The Crash. The Goal. The Whistle.

It all boils down to these final four minutes. A chance for both teams to make the final, a chance at glory, and to raise the trophy.

I’m on high alert as the ball tracks toward my end of the pitch down the right flank. I anticipate the play well, moving ahead into a close circle position where I can make any critical decisions with good proximity.

A crash ball rockets into my circle. An attacker and defender come together. There’s a touch, bodies collide, and the ball flies into the net.

Four minutes. Tied. Heart hammering louder than the crowd in my hears. My whistle hand twitches. I call a goal..

All Hell Breaks Loose

The whistle barely fades before the defending bench erupts – coaches on their feet, players charging, sticks waving like flags in a story.

The roar hits like a wall; I feel it in my chest. This is the pressure moment you train for.

The celebrating attackers hug and cheer in slow motion under the lights as the crowd erupts.

The defenders freeze, faces blank with disbelief. My mouth goes dry - I know what’s coming. Before I know it, I’m surrounded by the protesting defensive team.

Video Umpire: Tried, But Not Much Help

I make the correct decision to use my own umpire referral and send the decision upstairs for review. Such an important call, at this point of the match – We need to get it right.

The video umpire takes a long look from all possible angles. Onfield, it feels like an hour - You could cut the tension with a knife. Everyone knows this is likely to decide the match.

My pulse thuds in my ears louder than the stadium. Hands clammy waiting.. waiting.

I hear the video umpire’s voice - Bevan, there’s no advice possible, stick with your on-field decision.

The goal stands...

The Final Four Minutes

The score remains 2-1, and the final four mins play out.

The result is a referee’s living nightmare - A controversial decision I’ve made has had a huge impact on the outcome of the match, the one thing we try to avoid at all costs.

The losing team protests, taunts, and challenges me at the conclusion of the match and over the coming days. I’m literally looking over my shoulder for the remainder of the tournament.

Two years of anticipation, training, and struggle all boil over with one decision.

The Question That Haunts Every Referee

The worst-case scenario for a referee: A single decision shrouded in controversy, which, in the losing team’s view, is the single tipping point for their pain and loss.

All over live television for everyone to see. To have an opinion on, to form a view on what they would have done, to debate and point blame.

In sport, one decision under lights changes everything. I have to carry this one.

Questions I ask myself:

• Does this call define me more than the hundreds of others made that night?

• How do we carry the weight of choices we can’t undo?

I’m fighting 22 athletes every weekend while praying the kid doesn’t wake up at 5am!

Midlife crisis? Or an international referee?

• Part-Time Athlete

• Full-Time Employee, Dad and Husband

• Forget mates and going to the pub

As the refs, we’re not far behind the players on the field, averaging 6-7kms per game, and we have to train for it.

Last week I literally had to choose between the pub with the lads, or fitness testing in the rain.

No beers, no blowouts. How refereeing killed my social calendar, but built a life.

The ball’s launched 50 meters into the sky.

22 elite athletes explode into a full-pitch counter.

And there’s me – 35, dad-bod, whistle in mouth – Sprinting like my life depends on it to be EXACTLY where the chaos lands.

Because I’m half a step late:

• The decision is wrong

• The game’s ruined

• The crowd suddenly agrees I need glasses.

This is my reality every weekend, out there with the best covering 6-7km, chasing kids ten years younger… as a part-time pro referee who has a mortgage, a toddler, and a 9-5.

Spoiler: Nobody cheers for the bloke with the whistle.

But damn it feels good to be out there with the best.

So, here’s to the invisible athletes – the part-time lunatics like me who killed their social lives to keep up with the pros.

Grab a coffee (no beer allowed) and let me show you how deep this madness goes.

6-7k Per Game | Roughly the Same as the Players

The FIH’s 2013 article “Going the Extra Distance” outlined international field hockey players averaging 8-9km per match.

In comparison, our averages as umpires are right up there:

• Midfielders 9km

• Attackers 8km

• Defenders 7km

• Umpires 6km

Just like the players, we’re making critical decisions under pressure and fatigue. Running roughly the same miles, just without the spotlight:

• Attacker -> 8km -> Fans chant

• Umpire -> 6km -> Asked if need glasses

The Social Life Funeral | Fitness Testing

I buried my social life next to the pub dartboard.

RIP weekends. Cause of death: Yoyo Fitness Testing.

Yoyo fitness test result: 17.8? That’s elite territory - Top 1-3% of blokes my age can hack it.

2025 requirements see us tested 3x per year making 17.8 in the Yoyo Intermittent Recovery Test, and 40m Sprint Testing.

To put this in perspective, 1-3% of general population males at my age could reach this measure, and only 10-20% for healthy/active/recreational male adults.

What this means is, it’s bloody hard!

You have to train. Train seriously, and consistently all year round without serious injury or sickness.

Skip the pub, or else!

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Work-Gym-Kid-Sleep-Repeat | Training as a Couple

My wife’s an international ump too - double the fitness drama!

We’ve titled it Tag Team Training:

• I cook

• She lifts

• She cleans

• I wrangle the toddler

Romance level: Active wear and toddler tantrums.

Two working parents juggling to fit their training into the day, and making sure we help enable the other to train as well.

For me this means training early doors before work, and in the evening juggling the cooking and keeping our boy occupied while mum hits the gym.

We’ve really had to work on striking a balance so that both of us get the opportunity to train, we’re both ready for the fitness tests, and our house and 2-year-old boy are cared for.

Spoiler: It’s all sexy activewear and cheeky butt grabs until the toddler needs changing.

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Choosing Between the Pub and the Gym

Social invites? One beer spirals into Uber regrets, wrecked Garmin stats, and a punishing Monday gym session.

The Garmin watch purchase has been a huge insightful journey. Tracking body battery, sleep, heart rate variability, training status, stress and more every day.

But you know the story - Things are going great. We’re in a routine, building toward a tournament. Then the invite comes in for pub night, weekend BBQ, or a birthday party.

The story goes something like this:

• “Not drinking” turns into “just one”

• “Just one” turns into “who’s driving home”

• “Who’s driving home” turns to “shall we get an uber”

Before you know it, you’re staring at your watch stats on Sunday morning which are screaming red alert, and painfully dragging yourself to the gym full of regret on Monday morning.

Please speak to me if you feel this pain!

Right now:

• This is the life we choose, and

• I wouldn’t have it any other way.

But I am curious:

Are we completely mad, and are we sacrificing too much?

The answer motivated me to write to the Chief Executive of Sport New Zealand.

Here’s ChatGPT’s Short Answer:

“Sport NZ provides far less direct support for referees/umpires than for players or coaches.”

“Officials get minimal funding - mostly indirect via National Sport Orgs, free guides, anti-abuse resources, and tiny shares of scholarships.”

“Athletes dominate high-performance investments ($131m+ over cycles, $50k/year grants, 77%+ scholarships). Coaches receive dedicated programs (e.g., accelerators, national connection forums, training programs, regional development staff) and 2–5× more scholarships/funding.”

The reality on the ground:

• Players win gold

• Coaches get paid

• Refs get abused

And there are no ring-fenced budgets or paid pathways to address rising shortages and sideline abuse.

How can this be?

Dear Raelene - Chief Executive for Sport New Zealand,

My name is Bevan Nichol. I live in Hamilton and am involved in the development of sport in both a personal and professional capacity.

I’m an internationally graded hockey umpire and have been heavily involved in the development of officiating in my local, domestic, and national hockey communities.

I work for a Charitable Trust called the Waikato Institute for Leadership and Sport Studies as the Sport Development Lead where I deliver programmes that support people, schools, and organisations who help make sport happen.

In my time spent as a volunteer and in my work, I see firsthand a growing need for more resourcing, training, and support for referees and umpires in New Zealand.

The level of investment in referees and the priority given to them by Sport New Zealand and Regional Sports Trusts could not be any lower, despite their critical role in delivering safe, fair, and positive sport experiences for all participants.

Today I’m writing to you to ask these questions:

1. What does Sport NZ do to support referees/umpires?

2. Does Sport NZ see kiwi sport referees/umpires as a priority in its work? If so, how, and by who?

3. What dedicated or ringfenced investment, development opportunities, or support mechanisms exist?

I ask these questions provocatively, because I suspect the honest answers will reveal little to no support - but also with genuine intent: to spotlight our overlooked community of volunteer referees and umpires, and to hold onto the hope that our future in sport might, one day, shine a little brighter.

As a specific example which speaks to my personal frustration, in 2025/26, Sport New Zealand are investing in a ‘Trainer Programme’ for people building systems that support coaches, and the ‘Coaching For Impact’ programme, which is open for sport coaches nationwide.

It’s my understanding that candidates who work on developing training systems for referees and their coaches are not welcome on these programmes.

This to me is an example of Sport NZ’s failure to outlay any meaningful prioritization, investment, support or development for referees and umpires in our communities, like it does for other participants in our games.

Thank you, and any member your team who reads this, as it is drafted with the utmost respect for you as a leader, and for the work Sport NZ does in our country.

I’ll let you know if I get a response. Thanks for spending a tiny slice of your day with me.

Do You Wear a White Collar to Work?

Calendar jam packed full of meaningless meetings?

Rush through morning commutes?

Forward emails to nowhere?

The death of your career has already begun, assuming you haven’t already silently quit.

The Corporate Ladder is Crumbling – Are You Ready for the AI Wake-Up Call?

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The Corporate Noose: A Six-Year Commute to Nowhere

I lived the corporate career life for 6 years.

For 6 years, I forced myself to get out of bed in the morning. Shower, shave, put a tie on like a noose around my neck.

Force feed myself in a rush to sit in commuter traffic. Sign myself in on an office white board as if I was a factory worker.

I vividly remember every day on my commute, verbally reciting reasons to myself why I was putting myself through it. Why I needed the paycheck, what it meant for my future.

Convincing myself why it was all worth it.

---

Nodding to Nonsense: The Corporate Charade

I found myself nodding along in meetings to absolute nonsense – Because admitting to it being nonsense meant risking my paycheck, my performance review, or my standing in the pecking order of nonsense.

It was often a complete charade. A shared illusion of keeping the appearance of being busy. But everyone’s in on it.

Everyone knew their daily contributions were largely meaningless.

• Forwarding emails

• Drafting decision making briefings

• Meetings preparing for meetings

• Reformatting slide decks

• Scheduling follow up meeting

• Updating spreadsheets no one reads

• Polishing internal newsletters no one opens

Anything to project a measure of importance and value.

---

The Silent Quit Slow Dance

Over half of the staff, the ‘lifers’ were completely disengaged.

They hadn’t quit, that would be too bold, and far too risky. But mentally checked out, still parading within the charade because their mortgage payments depended on it.

Middle managers created ‘System Reviews’, ‘Improvement Plans’ from non-events, non-issues, non-problems to justify the next PowerPoint slide deck and endless workshops.

But this wasn’t incompetence, it was enabled survival. Managers playing a game to keep their seats within the hierarchy, but the incoming audience?

AI and cost cutting CEOs aren’t clapping anymore.

So, what’s your exit strategy?

---

Here’s the Wake-Up Call – AI is Coming for You

Picture this.

You’re a middle manager, or mid-tier professional. You studied for 3-5 years, your 5+ or maybe even 10+ years’ experience now and making decent money.

You haven’t 100% joined the Silent Quit Brigade, just getting buy with minimal effort as your office beer and wine gut swells, just as quickly as your super market budget.

I have news for you – AI is coming.

It’s already drafting reports, scheduling your 19 weekly meetings, and analyzing the data you spent 80k on a university degree to get your head around.

Faster, cheaper, without coffee breaks or meaningless watercooler chat.

If your role feels like you already cruising on autopilot – You’re on the chopping block.

---

The Good News? This isn’t the end

This is your chance to break free from begging for time off, and asking permission to go and get a hair-cut.

Stop seeing your nonsense job title as an identity; see it as a tool.

Use that salary to fund your side hustle, learn AI skills, or explore what lights you up.

I’ve spent the last 4 years re-training in Adult Education, Coaching, Officiating and Sport Development. These areas fuel my flame, they don’t feel like work, and drive me toward my own independence.

Why stay chained to a desk when I could run my own coaching business, teach online, or help professionals realign their outlooks on work in an unsettled future.

---

The Corporate Ladder is about to Collapse

And AI is holding the sledgehammer. People are already Pivoting

Don’t become the older manager in your mid 40s or 50s filled with regret and 2 or 3 hollow decades spent at a desk they would replace you at within 28 days if you died.

The new generations view their careers now as launch pads.

They view AI as their savior, not their enemy. Embracing new tools, automating nonsense tasks, and building lives where their work funds meaning – not drains it.

The questions aren’t “Will AI take my job? It’s “What am I waiting for”?

AI is not the villain, it’s the mirror showing you you’ve been sleepwalking.

The real threat is staying checked out.

So what’s next for you?

Hey, thanks for spending a small slice of your day with me. If you enjoyed this, let me know.

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Leader, sport coach, or referee?

Put your own life mask on first!

One of the most impactful things I’ve done this year was to enlist the support and guidance of a personal coach.

Leader, sport coach, or referee? Each of these roles invests time and effort into the development of others. Building people up.

So, at the most fundamental level:

If you can’t justify investing in your own growth and development, why should your people believe and follow you?

Don’t Play Yourself

• A coach without a coach?

• A leader without a mentor?

• A reff without someone they call on?

Common sense says they’re missing an opportunity. A coach offers an outside lens on your challenges and goals. As leaders, coaches, and referees, we often get caught up in the day-to-day grind, making it hard to see the bigger picture.

A Good Coach:

• Highlights blind spots

• Challenges assumptions

• Guide you toward clarity

They point out the hidden truth you’ve been ignoring, or that convenient white lie you tell yourself.

You know the one.

Introducing my Coach - Chris

This year, something clicked with a new coach I’ve started engaging with.

Her name is Chris, an Athlete Life Coach at High Performance New Zealand, an ex Blackstick and Olympian.

She’s someone I admired and worked alongside in a delivery capacity in the past, so I reached out to her. A micro investment in a chance at improving future performances as an international referee.

When you prioritise your own development, you model the importance of growth for those you lead.

My support team and mentors have noticed a shift in my approach after I started working with Chris. More clarity in my communication, better focus under pressure, more discipline in showing up as my best self.

The 1%’ers im Striving For

Engaging a coach doesn’t require a massive time or financial commitment. Even short, focused sessions can lead to breakthroughs.

My initial call with Chris was just 30 minutes, but it sparked insights that reshaped how I’m approaching my planning and training this season, leading toward the Junior World Cup in India.

These small insights compound over time, leading to breakthroughs in mental preparation and perspective.

What Chris has Helped me With

Idea and concepts we’ve explored and developed this year include:

• How to section the year into periods of rest, preparation, and performance. This has been so important with two summer trips to India within 12 months, a local season, and national performances. All while having a life outside of hockey!
  

• How to prepare mentally and progress quickly from preparation to performance mode, which is crucial in highly important first matches in test series and international tournaments.
  

• How to shift my mindset from performing under self-inflicted pressure to being able to enjoy the big moments, separate my identity from mistakes, and ultimately perform with freedom.

My Advice - Find Your Own Chris

Take it from me - Take a punt at finding your own Chris.

It’s easy to set goals, but sticking to them is another story. A coach holds you accountable, ensuring you follow through on promises you make to yourself.

A good coach doesn’t let you off the hook - they check in on your progress, ask tough questions, and keep you focused. This accountability has been a game-changer, turning my scribbled goals into measurable planning and results.

Make a micro-investment in yourself.

Get a coach, it could change everything.

Hey, thanks for spending a small slice of your day with me. If you enjoyed this, the best compliment I could receive is you sharing it with one person.

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Unlocking Your Next Level

This month, I got to perform at national and international levels at two incredible tournaments.

My biggest reflection on both opportunities is this:

Can you perform with the same confidence and freedom on the big stage as you do within your comfort zone?

The Contrast of the Big Stage

One week, I was in Darwin at the Oceania World Cup Qualifier, umpiring Australia vs New Zealand. The next, I was in Christchurch at the National Hockey Championship umpiring Canterbury vs Wellington.

Both matches had my utmost respect, focus, and intention to perform at the highest level.

I had prepared for both:

• The running

• Time in the gym

• Time on the yoga mat

• Analysed video footage

• Attended team trainings

• Plenty of practice matches

You name it, I did the work to deserve to feel ready.

The Reality of The Next Level

Preparation aside, in one setting, I felt like I was in my element, invincible: Ready for anything.

The other? Tense and uncomfortable to start.

Nerves crept in under unfamiliar:

• Pressure

• Scrutiny, and

• Expectations.

You can guess which set of circumstances applies to which match.

Here’s the truth:

Performing with the same confidence and freedom on the big stage as you do in your comfort zone is the ultimate challenge.

Crack this code, and you unlock your next level of growth, not just as a referee, but in any pursuit.

The Big Stage vs The Comfort Zone

In Darwin, the international spotlight brought added weight – new surroundings, higher stakes, judgment and assessment from new umpire managers, and the eyes of the global game.

In Christchurch, I was closer to home, in familiar territory, surrounded by lifelong friends, mentors, and coaches with less external pressure.

The difference? Mindset.

In one match, I felt like anything could happen, and I’d find a way to handle it.

In the other, nerves and external expectations tightened my grip.

Like trying to build a sandcastle on the beach, and the harder you try, the more the sand slips through your fingers.

The Referee’s Challenge

This experience has etched a universal truth into my mind:

True potential is unlocked when you perform like you’re at home – Comfortable, fearless, with nothing to lose – no matter what the stage.

Whether it’s a World Cup or a local derby, the goal is the same:

• Show up as your best self, unburdened by the moment.

This isn’t just about refereeing. It’s about performance in all aspects of life.

How do we bring our A-game to unfamiliar territory?

How do we silence the noise of scrutiny and expectation?

The answer lies in shaping a mindset that feels like home, wherever you are.

The Big Stage vs The Comfort Zone

Referees and athletes face moments that test their confidence. The challenge is to treat every match - big or small - like you’re blowing the whistle in your backyard.

The place you feel at home. Where you know yourself best. Where things come naturally without forcing it, or searching.

Embrace the stakes, but don’t let them define you, or your performance.

Trust your preparation, lean into your skills, and perform with the freedom of someone who has nothing to lose.

If this has been insightful, let me know. How do you find your confidence at the next level?

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Prep to Peak Performance

As an international hockey umpire, my biggest challenge is switching from months of preparation to peak performance from the first whistle.

Test matches are rare; my last game was the FIH Pro League in India, Feb 2025. Next week I fly to Darwin for a World Cup qualifier series between Australia and New Zealand.

The outcome could hinge on just two matches.

Fear of Underperforming After Doing the Work

For umpires and athletes alike, the challenge is hitting peak performance from the first moments. A sluggish start in Darwin risks falling behind in the series and risking the chance to qualify for the 2026 World Cup.

The challenge for all competitors is switching from preparation and training to peak performance mode on demand.

Miss this opportunity in Darwin, and risk chasing the series, and squandering the chance to qualify for the World Cup.

So, this begs the question:

When you’ve trained hard, done all the right things, and prepared to your potential. How do you most effectively switch gears straight into peak performance?

Drawing from experience, conversations with performance coaches and my peers, I’ve designed the P.E.A.K Framework for switching to Performance Mode.

The P.E.A.K Framework

This simple framework is designed for umpires, but can be applied to any high-stakes performance scenario, from sports to business to public speaking.

1. P - Plan Your Triggers
   Identify specific cues to signal the shift to performance mode. This could be a pre-match ritual like a breathing sequence, a physical action, or a mental cue or mantra. For me, it’s a quick breathing exercise and a mental phrase to confirm my mindset.

2. E - Expect Pressure. Embrace it
   Pressure is a privilege. It’s critical to expect intensity and be able to reframe it as an opportunity that you’re ready for. Practice mental exercises like visualizing high-stakes moments to normalize pressure. So when it arrives, you’re ready.

3. A - Activate Through Action
   Start with small, deliberate actions to build momentum. For me, this is nailing my positioning and giving myself the best possible opportunity to be accurate in the opening minutes. Action initiates confidence.

4. K - Keep Perspective
   Stay grounded in the bigger picture. A single call, a single match, a single tournament doesn’t define you. I’m a father, a husband, a son, and a friend before a referee. This mindset reduces overthinking and keeps me present.

Distilling this framework has been settling for me mentally as I lean into performing at my best from the first whistle in Darwin.

Your Next Performance

As I prepare for Darwin, here’s how you can apply P.E.A.K to your next big moment:

• Prepare the mind like your body. Use visualization to rehearse high-stakes scenarios, bridging the gap between prep to performance.

• Create a reliable “on switch”. Study top performers’ routines and build your own pre-performance plan.

• Trust your preparation. Overthinking kills confidence – Focus on your training and stay present.

• Apply P.E.A.K beyond umpiring. From refereeing to presentations or competitions, this framework helps you shift gears when it counts.

It’s easy to slip into our normal routines and arrive at performance opportunities, succumb to the pressure, and regret a poor performance.

P.E.A.K helps ensure you’ve done everything you can to step up and nail your next opportunity.

If this has been helpful, let me know. I’d love to hear how you get ready for the big moments.

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Confidence - The Secret Sauce

• It’s not something you tell yourself in the mirror.

• It’s not something you attract or memorize.

• It’s not something you supplement for.

It takes hard work and structured effort.

Confidence for a leader, coach, or sports referee is the key that unlocks all doors. Ensures you can work every room, and perform on every stage.

Confidence is the key to the city. 🔑

My Personal Battle with Confidence

In the early days of my international hockey umpiring career, I would show up to test matches and overseas tournaments searching for reasons to feel confident.

I would rely on signs from the players, coaches, and umpire managers to signal that I was good enough to be there. I needed their permission to feel confident.

This fixed me in a state of searching:

• Searching for approval

• Searching for acceptance

• Searching for validation

I couldn’t have been further from actually BEING confident.

3 Practical Steps to Build Confidence

I’m now 10 years along in my journey internationally, and 20 years domestically. I’ve spent the last 24 months trying to manage a performance plan to the standard of a performance athlete.

I’m not perfect (by a long way) - But here is what I’ve learned.

I believe that confidence is stacked in small amounts. Like making tiny deposits into your bank account, on a daily basis.

Through reflection and self-discovery, I’ve narrowed down confidence to:

3-Practical Steps:

1. Meticulous Planning

2. Scheduled Reflection

3. Ruthless self-accountability

The deliberate practice of keeping promises to yourself and tracking things you said that you were going to do.

The result is:

• I feel successful

• Increase in self-belief

• Sense of achievement builds

This self-belief and sense of achievement lead to motivation and determination to stick to my plan, hold myself accountable, and do the work.

The Confidence Toolkit – Form Confidence Habits

An incredibly simple, but awfully challenging practice.

Create a list of daily habits that build your confidence. The things that help put you get into a positive mood. Those tasks that, if done consistently, make you feel great.

• Going for a walk

• Reading a book

• Working out

• Eating right

• Journaling

• Stretching

Then, every day, measure your success. How good were you at doing the things you said you would do? Now find ways to hold yourself accountable.

• Engage a coach, put a calendar on the fridge, share, and challenge a friend.

The longer you can stack these wins… The reward is developing confidence.

There is Only One Hack – Time and Experience.

Of course, the 100^th time you compete or perform, you will feel more confident than on your first 10 times. But we need confidence now. We don’t have time to wait.

Confident individuals are presented with more opportunities and are more likely to seize them and succeed when they arrive.

They are armed and ready to embrace the moment without hesitation or the need to seek reassurance and validation like I did.

It’s simple: Practice planning and keeping promises to yourself. Track and measure things you said would do. Ruthlessly hold yourself accountable.

Try it, and watch your confidence soar.

Thank me later!

Hey, I appreciate your time and attention.

Bevan

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The Story of my Local Final

It was our regional final match, played on the #1 pitch at my local ground, in front of the best crowd seen all season. A fine but chilly late afternoon game as the sun set.

The home team and defending champions in yellow, vs the travelling away team in blue, who have lost this exact final match-up 3 years in a row.

The match ends in a 1-1 draw, which means one thing in hockey - A penalty shootout.

The way no one wants to lose.

And for the referees, a high-risk environment where one decision could heavily impact, or even single handily change the outcome of the match.

How Big Games are Supposed to End

Let’s be clear: Sports referees don’t want to be the talking point at the end of a match. Nor a single referee’s decision.

Put simply, we want the players and teams to sort it out for themselves. To create and capitalise on opportunities built through skilful play and strategy to win matches.

It’s fair to say that even if a decision is obvious at the end of a big match, if making it is likely to change the outcome, it’s a decision the ref would rather not have to make.

But we aren’t provided this luxury. At the end of the day, it’s what we’re there to do.

The Shoot Out in my Local Final

Regular time is up, and you could cut the tension with a knife. Everyone knows the away team has lost in this scenario before as the temperature drops.

The home quickly gets to 2-1 up. Then the away import steps up. He’s taken down in the physical challenge by the keeper, and the umpire blows a penalty stroke.

A big call, but the correct decision… Then comes the drama.

The international guest player shapes to flick a powerful penalty shot. It goes in – he celebrates.

But the umpire disallows the shot, saying the ball was hit (a foul).

You can picture the following 30 seconds.

Raw Emotion and Anger Erupt!

The coach and international erupt in anger! They approach and challenge the referee, but both officials agree that it was a foul. The decision remains.

Now you can script the next sequence:

• The home team steps up to take their third shot.

• They score.

• The game is over.

The controversial decision has directly impacted the outcome of the match. The away team believes it was an unfair and unjust. The bus ride home focuses on the call that changed the game - the team never forgets.

In their eyes, they were robbed!

The Weight of the Whistle

In the heat of a final, where winning and losing hang in the balance, the referee’s role is both critical and unenviable.

The shootout reminded me that:

• Sport is not just about executing skills and tactics

• But also about decisions that can shape outcomes.

When the referee disallowed the away team’s goal, it wasn’t just a call – It was a moment that defined the match, the season, the story they’d carry home.

The raw emotion, the erupting anger, the air of controversy, the sense of justice or injustice.

The referee must understand and accept that even when correct, not every call will be celebrated or appreciated. And this, we carry home with us after every match.

My Advice on Tackling Game-Changing Calls

Embrace Pressure

• Referees, like leaders in any field, must make calls that may not please everyone.

Accept the Human Element

• No decision is immune to scrutiny, especially in high-pressure moments. Expect reactions.

Fairness Over Popularity

• The umpire’s call to disallow the shot was correct, even if unpopular.

We must prioritise fairness over the desire to avoid conflict.

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Embrace the Chaos, Understand Their Intent

Trust me, I get it. I live this reality:

• They’re yelling

• They’re screaming

• They’re in your face

Every system in our bodies switches to fight or flight response.

Because let’s face it, it feels like we’re under attack.

Our natural responses are automatic and hard to manage:

• Run and hide in fear

• Fight back with aggression

• Freeze, and hope they move on

The ultimate mental battle for every referee in a tight high-performance contest.

The ultimate test of mental strength. And the simplest, but most difficult solution?

Don’t Take it Personally.

A Mindset Shift – Things Will Not Go Perfectly

One of the highest mental hurdles I’ve had to jump in recent years is this:

Letting go of the idea that I control a game going perfectly.

The referee’s dream game:

• No drama

• No controversy

• No series incidents

Games where the after-match chat is focused on the brilliance of the players, not on referee decisions.

Matches where we happily fade into the background.

If I were them, I would be doing the same

There is a line that has helped free me as a referee, and how I approach the game:

“If I were them, I would be doing the same.”

This unique perspective shifts my approach and mindset, my reactions, and my point of view toward the players. It enables me to apply judgment in an impersonalized way.

When I expect them:

• To protest

• To challenge

• To apply pressure

It reduces my fight or flight response.

There’s no surprise or frustration that things aren’t perfect.

I Expect Protest, Challenge, and Pressure

Our approach as the referee must consider and acknowledge the perspective and goals of the players.

The likely fact is that if the shoe were on the other foot. If you wore the playing jersey and they held the whistle.

YOU would likely be acting in the exact same way as they do.

We would probably be trying every angle we could to gain an advantage and beat our opposition.

• We would protest close decisions.

• We would challenge potential mistakes.

• We would apply pressure to gain an edge.

This enabled you to understand their intent, without judgment or speculation as to who they are as people.

They’re Not Attacking You as a Person

With this train of thought and mindset in motion:

• Things will not go perfectly

• I expect protest, challenge, pressure

• If I were them, I would be doing the same

A sense of freedom sweeps over you as the reff. Decisions are based only on actions and behaviors. The noise, judgement, and fight or flight response fade.

You simply interpret the data, and ultimately understand:

They’re pulling every lever possible to win the battle.

Our Super Power – Remain Calm and Impartial

From this sense of freedom comes our superior advantage.

• We have no interest in who wins or loses.

From this viewpoint. Our ability to remain calm. Act Impartially, and not to take things personally is born.

This is our X-Factor - What separates us from the heat of the battle.

Do you agree?

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Unlock Your Refereeing Edge by Teaching Others

What if the fastest way to be a better referee isn’t more matches?

But it was teaching someone else? Would you want in on this secret?

This week, I ran a workshop for Auckland Hockey on handling pressure like a pro.

The questions, debates, and lightbulb moments from the group didn’t just fire them up – they lit a spark in me.

Suddenly, my own approach to managing pressure games

• Feels sharper

• Clearer

• More in focus

Here’s What I’ve Noticed – Top Performers Teach

Top National and International referees share their skills. They pass on their knowledge to local schools and clubs.

It’s their competitive edge.

This isn’t feel good propaganda. It’s how the best stay at their best.

I’ve read and studied famous Kiwi sports psychologists like Dr. Ceri Evans and David Galbraith, but nothing cements the learnings more than when I pass them on to someone else.

Teaching doesn’t just help others; it rewires your brain.

The one who learns the most in a classroom? The teacher.

Teaching Isn’t Just For Coaches

It’s how I’ve leveled up my refereeing. Every time I run a workshop, the students teach ME something new as well.

The Three Hacks - Here’s Why Teaching is a Secret Weapon:

• Hack Your Brain: Explaining a concept, like using breathing to keep yourself calm under pressure, helps your brain fire quickly, the next time you need it.

• Stay Razor-Sharp: Teaching keeps your skills fresh when you hear others resonate and relate to a tip and trick you share about a mental warm-up before a big match.

• Inspire and Grow: Sharing your knowledge at a school or club helps to keep you inspired. Plus, you’re helping build a stronger sports community.

Last week, a mentor said the following phrase to me:

Teaching and helping others enables us to - Be the tide.

Harvard Professor Proves Teaching is the Secret Weapon

This idea isn’t just for sports.

Harvard professor Arthur Brooks, a global expert on happiness, teaches it in his ‘Managing Happiness’ course.

His final module? You guessed it - Start a happiness teaching practice.

Why?

Brooks says happiness comes from understanding, applying, and sharing knowledge.

It’s the teaching of others that locks in your own mastery.

Cheat Codes For Sharper Skills, Confidence, and Clarity

Try This: Pick one refereeing skill you’re good at.

Maybe it’s reading the game, positioning and anticipating play, communicating with players, an ability to remain calm.

Maybe its a professional skill you have refined at work.

Teach it to a teammate, colleague, or junior umpire.

Trust me, you’ll walk away sharper.

Let me know your thoughts.

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I’m proud to be a Hockey New Zealand Umpire.

Our reputation was carved long before my time. We’ve produced countless world-class representatives.

The pressure to live up to the history is a challenge. But also, something we focus on nurturing.

A dig into the truth behind umpiring hockey in New Zealand.

Secrets to success behind Hockey New Zealand umpires.

As a Hockey New Zealand umpire, I carry a badge of pride that’s been shaped by a long line of world-class officials.

Our small nation has produced countless international representatives who’ve officiated at the very top level.

Many have helped shape the global game.

It is a privilege to stand in this line of legends, but it can be a hell of a lot to live up to!

It comes with a weighty challenge: Living up to a reputation, already carved by brilliant people.

Hockey New Zealand’s Umpiring Pathway

Now, I’m not just saying this because I’m a part of it!

But Hockey New Zealand’s age-group pathway is a breeding ground for young talent.

Thanks to a system built on exceptional coaching and a culture of giving back, our umpires consistently perform on the world stage.

Our coaches, some of the best in the world: including Colin French, Craig Gribble, Sarah Garnett, and Lynn Farrell, don’t just teach and reinforce the rules.

They push and remind us:

• To be better people

• To support each other

• That no one is bigger than the team

The difference in New Zealand

We’re not just about the elite level.

Many of us still umpire on grassroots pitches. Sometimes matches literally played on grass. Supporting local clubs and domestic comps.

We turn up to national school and age-group tournaments. Sometimes as umpie coaches, sometimes simply as advocates and ambassadors of the game.

We commit to our communities that keep us grounded and remind us why we do this.

To support hockey at every level.

The Kiwi Approach

It’s hard to define, but you know it when you see it.

It’s the calm we bring to chaotic moments. The ability to manage a game without dominating it. The humility to put your hand up when we saw it differently.

We’re confident without being arrogant. We have peace of mind that we’ve done the work. Completed our apprenticeships as part of the kiwi system.

We earn respect through fairness, not flashiness.

The Pressure to Carry the Baton

Our approach is tested by the pressure to uphold our nation’s reputation. Every time I step on the field, I feel the weight of those who came before me.

Those like Amber Church, Simon Taylor, Kelly Hudson, David Tomlinson, and Gareth Greenfield who have set standards of excellence.

They set an incredibly challenging bar to meet!

Especially in an era where scrutiny is thick. As I’ve discussed and described before, amidst Toxic Referee Culture – where mistakes are analyzed publicly for clicks can erode confidence.

Yet, our training and support system help us rise above it.

Shaping The Future

Looking ahead, I believe we can continue to build on this legacy by inspiring the next generation.

Our umpiring pathway, supported by effective umpire coaches and development prrogrammes offer structured ways to grow skills, culture and confidence.

By sharing our experiences, mentoring young officials, and embracing our team culture, we can ensure Hockey New Zealand’s reputation lives on.

So, how do we keep this thing alive?

It’s starts with all of us – umpires, players, coaches.

We must celebrate what’s done well. Show up at grassroots level. Live and breathe ‘The Kiwi Approach’.

I’d love to hear local stories of umpires or coaches making a positive impact in your neck of the woods.

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As a young adult, I was a bit of a mess:

• I dropped out of school

• Flunked out on a trade

• Fired from several jobs

But one thing stuck – Refereeing sport.

When everything else felt like a dead-end, it gave me a purpose. Something I could improve on. Somewhere to be on the weekend. A community to connect with and serve.

I believe it taught me the ‘Trifecta of Personal Growth’

1. Develop my confidence

2. Communicate effectively

3. Regulate my emotions

3 Game-Changing Skills For Young People

‘The trifecta of Personal Growth’

Refereeing teaches skills you can’t learn in the classroom.

1. Developing Confidence

Standing in front of players, coaches, and crowds forces you to own your decisions and be comfortable in your own skin.

Every time you step into the arena, every call you make builds self-assurance that spills into other parts of life.

2. Effective Communication

You learn to explain yourself quickly. Organise and verbalise your thoughts. Diffuse tense situations and navigate courageous conversations.

Common challenges for all professionals.

3. Emotional Regulation

Dealing with angry captains and coaches, or upset spectators teaches you to stay calm under pressure.

Learning ways to mentally keep yourself calm, reframe challenges, and remain professional when players can’t.

Refereeing – The Million Dollar Leadership Course

These skills: Confidence, Effective Communication, and Emotional Regulation are gold in high-stakes environments in personal, professional, and performance settings.

Institutions spend millions designing courses to teach what a good referee experiences and delivers in every game for the price of a whistle and a pair of boots.

A world of more young referees would build

1. Stronger leaders

2. Better teammates

3. Resilient individuals

CEOs pay thousands to learn and practice these skills in corporate training and workshops.

Refereeing is real-world training that can shape young people into adults who can handle life’s curveballs.

An Unconventional Vehicle for Leadership

Refereeing isn’t just about reading the rulebook and calling fouls. It’s unconventional leadership in action.

When you make split-second decisions in front of a screaming bench, you learn to trust your gut in spite of fear and judgement.

You learn to back yourself in the toughest moments.

Every explanation to a heated coach sharpens your ability to communicate with clarity. And every moment you stay calm under fire hones your resilience and emotional strength.

As a young referee, I learned to lead by managing games, and those lessons now shape how I inspire others in sport development.

So Why Does This Matter?

In an increasingly chaotic and uncertain world for young people, the life lessons from refereeing sport are relevant.

No matter what the pressure.

Young people who referee learn to:

• Stand tall

• Speak clearly

• Keep their cool.

If you know a young person who needs to grow up. Hand them the whistle.

It might be the one thing that sticks, just like it did for me.

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I hear it all the time - “We just want consistency.”

Picture This:

Ronaldo dribbles into the penalty area, he goes down easy in a challenge, and the reff calls a penalty.

You Know The Scene:

• The crowd roars in anger

• Replays flash on the big screens

• It’s clear the decision was harsh

• Ronaldo steps up and scores the penalty

• The instinct now for the reff to “be consistent” is strong.

Sure, but what about a referee mistake? Are we meant to chain ourselves to an error?

This is what I call ‘The Referees’ Dilemma’.

—-

The Referees’ Dilemma

Whether it’s:

• a referee’s penalty in football

• an umpire’s strike call in baseball

• an official’s foul ruling in basketball

The demand for consistency echoes through stadiums, commentary, and social media breakdowns.

Fans and coaches demand that referees maintain uniformity in their rulings throughout the game. It’s considered a hallmark of fairness and competency.

But here’s the catch: what if the initial call was wrong?

Should the referee double down on the mistake, penalising teams unfairly for the rest of the match, just to appear consistent?

The Cost of Demanding Consistency

The pursuit of consistency, and the constant demand for it by coaches, crowds, and commentators is misplaced.

Sticking to a wrong decision or aligning a mistake with calls later in a match doesn’t make it right – It compounds the error.

When a referee reverses a call after review, or makes an adjustment after recognising an error, they’re not being inconsistent – they’re reinforcing their commitment to fairness.

An inconsistent approach requires:

• A sense of humility

• Admission of a mistake

• The courage to self-correct

Prioritising the truth over the appearance of consistency.

In the long run, this builds more trust and transparency.

Coaches and fans may grumble about a reversed call, but they’ll respect a referee who strives for accuracy over one who stubbornly clings to a bad decision.

3 Rules For Balanced Consistency

Let’s be clear.

Consistency and predictability in decision making creates a framework for fairness and player acceptance.Players need to know what to expect, and coaches need to feel the game is officiated impartially for both teams.

But consistency should never trump correctness. The goal is to be consistently fair, not consistently wrong.

So how does the reff balance the two?

1. Establish clear standards

Have clarity on the rules, current interpretation, and principles that guide your decisions. People need to know what to expect from you, how to act and approach you.

2. Remain open to feedback and evidence

In sport, this means consulting with your colleagues, self-reflection, reviewing replays and video referral. We get one chance to see scenarios in the flesh, at full speed.

Multiple angles and slow motion can reveal a lot, offering new insights and learnings.

3. Have the courage to admit you were wrong

When new information or the reaction of the game shows you were wrong, have the confidence and courage to put your hand up, accept the mistake, and get the next one right.

I’ve sent a text the following day to a coach admitting and apologising for making critical error. The response was respectful and appreciative.

Beyond The Game

The Referee’s Dilemma is a metaphor for many aspects of life:

Blind consistency can amplify and embed mistakes in your professional and personal lives. Thoughtful reflection and correction drive progress and improvement.

Next time you hear someone demand “consistency”, ask:

Are you asking for fairness, or a repeat of potential mistakes?

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Coaches, Take Note - Here’s how referees stay confident in the heat of the game.

How to be unshakeably confident in the face of scrutiny.

Confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you earn. For sports referees, it can be life or death.

Referees know the feeling:

• The crowd’s roaring

• The coach is yelling

• The team surrounds

One hesitant call can spiral into self-doubt and fear.

This is my short guide to stepping onto the field with calm and confidence.

I hear it all the time: “I lack confidence” “I lost my confidence” “I want to be more confident”

But what does that actually mean? We know how it feels.

It’s easy to recognise, but

• Difficult to define

• Difficult to coach

• Difficult to build

Confidence is an invisible edge that makes a referee great. It’s not about swagger, status, a puffy chest, or shouting.

It’s the quiet assurance that you’re ready to make the call, even when the crowd roars and the bench screams.

Advice to coaches: You make things worse

When your players make a bad decision, what’s your approach? Do you scold, show aggression, and distaste?

Would such an approach be effective in seeing them improve their performance, and get the next decision right?

In 25 years, I’ve seen this 1000 times:

• Referee makes a mistake

• Coach shouts and criticises

• Referee loses confidence

• More mistakes follow

Coaches – You need a confident referee!

In a world where sportsmanship toward referees is often poor and mistakes can haunt, confidence is everything.

3 Steps to build referee confidence

1. Prepare Relentlessly

To put it bluntly – Do the work.

Study your rulebook, consume game footage, do the running, hit the gym.

If you’re serious about your craft, apply the seriousness of a competitive athlete.

When you’re prepared, hesitation fades.

2. Create Trusted Systems

Build routines that calm and anchor your performance.

• Pre-Game rituals: build routines and triggers

• Peer support: have people you call on

• Reflection: note takeaways and work-ons

These all count. Be professional in your approach.

3. Master Your Mindset

I was at a pub in my hometown after a local test series, and the Irish coach at the time put his arm around me, pulled me in close, looked me dead in the eye and said this:

"To be a successful umpire - make confident calls, review the clips, learn from them, and then move on."

Simple yet effective - His enthusiasm, a couple of beers in at the time, stuck with me.

His Confident Formula:

• Let go of being perfect! It’s an illusion.

• Stand tall, speak clearly, and stay calm.

• Review. Learn. Move on.

Confidence isn’t arrogance.

Don’t fall into the trap!

Arrogance infuriates. Confidence earns respect.
Arrogance inflates ego. Confidence focuses on fairness.
Arrogance depletes credibility. Confidence earns trust.

A great referee admits mistakes, listens to feedback, and focuses on serving the game, not stealing the spotlight.

Earn Your Edge

Confidence is a skill you build through preparation, systems, and mindset.

I feel good when I’ve done the yards locally, engaged with my peers, helped the juniors, and been an advocate of the game in my community.

Sport needs confident referees, do you agree?

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