Remember, this is my last newsletter for now…

BUT - don’t unsubscribe just yet! I may be back one day, and better than ever - or I might send you a “hello” note whenever I miss you!

👉🏼 And if you still haven’t tried Curious Elixirs…

Click the ad below to order - and use my code for a discount! 🎉

AF tip of the week

Some of you may know this about me, I’m a planner.

I need to know what’s going on and when so I can be prepared. 

As for not drinking - a plan is really important. 

Example:

If you’re going out with friends and you’re nervous about not drinking. Have a plan when they ask why (you should really tell them ahead of time, but if you don’t…). Have a plan for what you’ll order when the server asks. And have a plan for when it’s time to leave. 

It may not seem like a huge deal, but having a plan saves you a lot of awkward, unsure time. 

Another great example for those who are further along is to plan for when you either A. want a drink or B. need to replace your drink.

If you drank to destress, what would you replace it with? Have a plan BEFORE the stress comes. You’ll be less likely to reach for a drink and less likely to be even more stressed due to a lack of plan!

Try it even if you’re not a wild planner like me!

Once you get it down, it’ll be much easier to go with the flow. ❤️

What’s up?+ a picture

Lately, I’ve been really active on LinkedIn - Did you know that it’s a content creation platform? I had no idea!

I’ve been posting daily there for about two months, and it’s been fun!

I write mainly about freelance writing and self-development.

If you’d like to follow along, FOLLOW ME!

You should…

Read

You Won't Even Miss The Booze In These 17 Bottles Of Non-Alcoholic Wine [Yahoo Life]

The Science Behind Nonalcoholic Wine [Smithsonian Magazine]

Things I like (with links)

Mocktail Club | use code: BLAIR15 for 15% off

Gruvi | use code: RELATABLEAF10 for 10% off first-time purchases

Curious Elixirs | use code: SHARP22 for $10 off $50

Recess | use code: RelatableAF for 15% off

NOPE | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off 2 or more 4-packs

Smart Sweets | use code: SOBRIETYACTIVIST10 for 10% off $30

👉🏼 So, did you try Curious Elixirs?

Click the ad below to order - and use my code for a discount! 🎉

Onto the good stuff👇🏼

AF tip of the week

I’ll warn you now - I am not a sciencey person…at all.

But I found it really beneficial to learn how and why my body does this or that when I drink alcohol. 

For me, it was almost like a reason that I needed. It was the explanation for a lot.

I’ll keep this week’s tip section short because I don’t want to waste your time when you should be checking out all of the work my friend Gill does over at Sober Powered. 

Check out her podcast now… She has 15-minute-long podcast episodes about addiction science. And they will blow. your. mind. 

She has a membership too! Join others on the alcohol-free journey and THRIVE.

Here is her Instagram, her YouTube channel, and make sure to get on her email list.

What’s up?+ a picture

I’m sharing this photo to show you how far I’ve come.

Try to remember how far you’ve come too! ❤️

You should…

Read

Again: 31 Non-Alcoholic Thanksgiving Drinks and Mocktails Everyone Will Be Thankful For [Yahoo News]

7 Best Non-Alcoholic Whiskies [Many of Many]

Jessica Simpson Shares What 5 Years of Sobriety Taught Her: 'I Can and Always Will Get Through It' [People]

Things I like (with links)

Mocktail Club | use code: BLAIR15 for 15% off

Gruvi | use code: RELATABLEAF10 for 10% off first-time purchases

Curious Elixirs | use code: SHARP22 for $10 off $50

Recess | use code: RelatableAF for 15% off

NOPE | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off 2 or more 4-packs

Smart Sweets | use code: SOBRIETYACTIVIST10 for 10% off $30

If you read last week’s email, you’ll know that I’ll be done sending these at the end of November. And if you want to find out more about why click here.

👉🏼 Have you tried Curious Elixirs yet? They’re one of my FAVORITE alcohol-free brands!

Click the ad below to order - and use my code for a discount! 🎉

Now let’s get to it 👇🏼

AF tip of the week

I won’t get all woo-woo on you or anything here, but self-development is important. 

Isn’t that why we’re here in the first place?

You are subscribed to this email because you either:

1. Quit drinking

2. Want to quit drinking

3. You’re my mom

If you’re here to support me, I’ll take it. And I thank you. 

Now, back to making YOU better. 

Once the booze is out of the picture, how can you work on yourself? A great way to figure this out is by thinking about why you drank in the first place. 

Were you using alcohol to cope? To destress? To socialize?

What are some parts of yourself you’d like to improve or work on? 

You don’t have to hit up the Barnes N Noble self-help section, do what I do, Google it.

There are countless blogs, podcasts, videos, and even people who send self-development newsletters (like this one). You likely won’t have to look very far to find something that resonates with you. 

What’s up?+ a picture

Well, whatd’ya know - another photo of my kid. #noshame

He started basketball two weeks ago and is loving it! His dad is the coach, so it’s been fun watching them together. 🏀

I hope you can spend some time with your family soon if you’re into that sort of thing. If you’re not, I hope you have healthy boundaries. ☺️

You should…

Read

31 Non-Alcoholic Thanksgiving Drinks and Mocktails Everyone Will Be Thankful For [Yahoo News]

The World’s Best Non-Alcoholic Drinks Pairings [Fine Dining Lovers]

The Dating Apps You Should Be On If You Lead A Sober Lifestyle [Glam]

Slipknot's Corey Taylor opens up about sobriety: "you realize quickly how much a part of your personality booze has become" [Louder Sound]

Things I like (with links)

Mocktail Club | use code: BLAIR15 for 15% off

Gruvi | use code: RELATABLEAF10 for 10% off first-time purchases

Curious Elixirs | use code: SHARP22 for $10 off $50

Recess | use code: RelatableAF for 15% off

NOPE | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off 2 or more 4-packs

Smart Sweets | use code: SOBRIETYACTIVIST10 for 10% off $30

It’s November. And I say,

You may find that odd coming from a Minnesotan, but I don’t mind the cooler time of year. I enjoy wearing more clothes and spending the holidays with my family.

In other news: You might have seen my post about this newsletter if you follow me on LinkedIn.

I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I’m getting really busy with my freelance writing business.

So busy - I’ll drop to part-time at my day job in early 2023!

The bad news? I won’t be writing this newsletter anymore. 😪 I don’t have the energy or time I want to devote to it. There may be a time that I bring it back, but I don’t know what the future holds.

I appreciate all of you who subscribed, I still can’t believe this many of you want to hear what I say each week. Thank you SO much. ❤️

I’ve got some great tips for you this final month…so let’s get going!

AF tip of the week

This one is so important, I want to scream it from the mountain tops! ⛰

But since I do not climb mountain tops, I will have to repeat myself here.

FIND A COMMUNITY!

Your community doesn’t have to be ginormous. It just has to be supportive and there when you need it. 

It’s hard to quit drinking. And it can feel lonely, especially if you don’t have a lot of people in your life who don’t drink or “get it.”

Instagram can be your community. Facebook groups can be your community. People you see at meetings can be your community. 

Talking to someone who has been in similar situations and has a similar relationship with alcohol is beneficial.

If you know, you know.

What’s up? + a picture

Of course, I’m sharing a Halloween picture of my favorite ninja!

We visited family in Iowa over the Halloween weekend, so my son got to go trick-or-treating twice (in addition to two parties at school).

Can I be a kid again? 🍭🍫🍬

I write for Recovery Unplugged, an addiction treatment center. I’m learning a lot about treatment options and more! Check out what I’ve done so far:

MEDICATION-ASSISTED TREATMENT (MAT) AND THE EFFECTS OF MAT ON ADDICTION

FORMS OF MEDICATION-ASSISTED TREATMENT (MAT)

6 Questions with

Do you track AF time? If so, what is your AF date? If you don’t, why not?

I don’t track AF time daily or weekly or monthly, but I celebrate my year.  The farther I get in my sobriety the less the timeline matters. I had my last drink on New Years eve 2016, and since I was still intoxicated on the 1st, I consider my “sober date” to be January 2, 2017. But I usually end up celebrating it on New Year’s Day anyhow :)

What is your “why?”

I want to show up for my family and myself as the best possible version of myself and that is not possible with alcohol involved. 

What’s your tip for the early AF days?

My best tip is to remind yourself that some things are “for now.” At first I was so concerned that I couldn’t be as social or be around the same people, or how I would still have fun or travel, and that I had a killler sweet tooth that would never go away! But as time went on, all of those things became a non issue. Take a breath, focus on the ONE thing, which is just NOT drinking.

Favorite AF hobby?

Every hobby I have is AF so it’s hard to pick :) I love skiing in the winter and biking in the summer. Right now Pickleball is a fav new hobby. Most of the hobbies I have, I didn’t even have the capacity for until I stopped drinking, that’s my favorite part. 

How do you de-stress? 

I de-stress with long, hot baths, or long walks with my dog. I have VERY little stress, even though I have a busy, somewhat chaotic life. I thought I was a really stressed-out person when I was guzzling booze, but that was the booze! 

What's the best thing about living an AF life? 

There is NOTHING that isn’t better without alcohol. I don’t think I could pick ONE thing, but perhaps the fact that I feel like I have a secret sauce to life that many people don’t realize is available to them. 

You can find Emily all over at the links below:

emilylynnpaulson.com

sobermomsquad.com

instagram.com/emilylynnpaulson

instagram.com/sobermomsquad

twitter.com/emilypaulson

You should…

Read

10 Best Non-Alcoholic Ciders [Man of Many]

New to making cocktails at home? Let us help get you started. [The Washington Post]

5 Things That Happen to Your Body When You Stop Drinking [Eating Well]

Things I like (with links)

Little Saints | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off your first order

Mocktail Club | use code: BLAIR15 for 15% off

Gruvi | use code: RELATABLEAF10 for 10% off your first order

Curious Elixirs | use code: SHARP22 for $10 off $50

Recess | use code: RelatableAF for 15% off

NOPE | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off 2 or more 4-packs

Smart Sweets | use code: SOBRIETYACTIVIST10 for 10% off $30

Instagram @sobrietyactivist

My writing on Medium

My website www.blairsharp.com

Leave a comment

As October comes to a close (how is this possible!?), I want you to reflect on the past month.

If you’ve been participating in Sober October - Has it been easy? Difficult? What has gone well? What are you still working on? Take an inventory of sorts. Trust me, it’ll help you be successful going forward.

If you don’t see an email from me next week, don’t worry! I’ll be back with one for you on November 7th! To stay connected until then, find me on Instagram 😊

And hit reply to let me know how I’m doing. Have these emails helped you? Is there anything you’d like to see more of here? Anything you don’t really like? Feedback is a big part of this. It helps me to curate the best content for you each week. So thanks!

AF tip of the week

Before you get on my case about telling you to stay in the past, that’s not what I mean.

I didn’t say to stay in the past. I said don’t forget your past. Why? So you can see how far you’ve come. That is something you should be celebrating! 

Especially on the hard days. Spoiler alert: there will be hard days.

Remember your past self when everything seems to be going wrong, and you’re stressed to the max. Remember how much better you handle things now that you’re AF. Think about what old-you would have done. Be thankful for how far you’ve come.

If you aren’t handling things better now that you don’t drink - this might be a good time to figure out why. Therapy can help with this. I also suggest reading about emotional sobriety. Gill at Sober Powered has a course on the topic. Get a self-help book. Listen to a podcast. There’s a podcast for everything. I know because I listen to podcasts about writing newsletters.

Remember, life isn’t perfect just because you don’t drink - it’s just better than it used to be.

There will still be struggles, but being drunk or hungover won’t hold you back anymore. You don’t have time for that. 😎

What’s up? + a picture

I hope I don’t say, “this week has been busy” every time I write this section. But I also plan on being honest. October has been a busy (but the good kind) month for me. I’ve gained several writing clients and am slowly getting into a groove regarding my freelance writing career. ✏️

It’s scary to call it a career, but I heard you’re supposed to speak things into existence. Manifest it, right?

Anywho, here’s a photo of my kiddo back in 2018 (age 2) as a doctor for Halloween.

You should…

Listen to

Read

Matthew Perry Opens Up About His Addiction Journey with a New Memoir: 'I'm Grateful to Be Alive' [People]

Sobriety Surprises: Lena Dunham, Jason Biggs and Other Stars Who Revealed They Got Sober [US Weekly]

The 10 Best Nonalcoholic Beers & Hop Seltzers [Eating Well]

‘Can I Stay Sober Without Keeping Track of How Many Days It’s Been?’ [The Cut]

NA Beers & 90s: Straight Drank IPA by Two Roots – Good Beer Here [The Sober Curator]

Things I like (with links)

Little Saints | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off your first order

Mocktail Club | use code: BLAIR15 for 15% off

Gruvi | use code: RELATABLEAF10 for 10% off your first order

Curious Elixirs | use code: SHARP22 for $10 off $50

Recess | use code: RelatableAF for 15% off

NOPE | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off 2 or more 4-packs

Smart Sweets | use code: SOBRIETYACTIVIST10 for 10% off $30

Follow Me on IG

Read My Writing on Medium

Oh, and thanks for being here!

AF tip of the week

Remember last week’s email, when the tip was, “think about it one day at a time?”

This month we’re doing something a little different.

I want you to think about the big scary F-word.

I AM FOR REAL - I appreciate you if you got that joke.

We all have different relationships with alcohol. It’s important to figure out what yours is. It can really help you with this whole AF thing.

Here’s my example:

I know that when I drink, I don’t have an off-switch.

Even though there have been times when I had a drink or two, I was never satisfied. There was always a feeling deep within that wanted more. Could I try to moderate and possibly be successful? Sure. But I wasn’t willing to use the amount of brainpower that would entail. 

Mental gymnastics is not my sport, OK?

So - the moral of the story is - This AF life had to be a forever thing for me. There was no wavering. No moderating. And once I lived the good life (the AF life) for a little bit, I realized that it was worth it to keep going. 

Don’t feel like you have to say, “I’m not drinking forever.” But recognize how you drink and see if sticking with it for the long haul would be worth it for you. And if you’re not sure right now, that’s OK too. Do what feels best for you.

What’s up?+ a picture

Hey again - me! 👋🏼 (who else would it be?)

This photo proves that I can work on my computer while other things are happening around me…

I had a monthly Sober Curator call last weekend while my husband was at the gym. I hopped on the call with little expectations of not being distracted by a child - and was pleasantly surprised when he occupied himself.

Isn’t that how you watch your tablet too? 🤔

Check out some of my Medium articles:

You’re Not the Only One Who Doesn’t Drink. Find Someone Who Is Telling Your Story.

I’m a (Retired) Binge Drinker. Here Are Some Thoughts About Why I Quit

4 Ways To Deal With Boredom in Sobriety

You should…

Listen to

Read

‘How Do I Survive Early Sobriety?’ [The Cut]

5 Healthier Habits I Picked Up When I Stopped Drinking Alcohol [Verywell Health]

Watch

Things I like (with links)

Little Saints | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off your first order

Mocktail Club | use code: BLAIR15 for 15% off

Gruvi | use code: RELATABLEAF10 for 10% off your first order

Curious Elixirs | use code: SHARP22 for $10 off $50

Recess | use code: RelatableAF for 15% off

NOPE | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off 2 or more 4-packs

Smart Sweets | use code: SOBRIETYACTIVIST10 for 10% off $30

Read my sobriety writing

Follow me on IG

How has your Sober October been? If you’re just starting out on your AF journey, congrats! You won’t regret it.

If you’ve been going strong for a while now - Go you!

Either way, I think you’re pretty cool. 😊

AF tip of the week

I’m sure this isn’t the first time you’ve heard that phrase.

“One day at a time” is a common saying among those who quit drinking. And there’s a reason for that. It works.

When starting a new habit, thinking about small chunks of time is much easier than the F-word.

Thinking about one day at a time was helpful for me initially. I was really worried about the wedding I had the following summer. I was nervous about holidays and barbeques that were nowhere close to the current time. I was worried about social events that weren’t even planned yet. 😵‍💫

I needed to realize that by the time those events came, I’d have SO MUCH AF time under my belt. I’d have AF-tools to use as needed and be much more prepared to take on those events.

So taking it one day at a time was a great way for me to stay in the present moment. 

Now that I’m almost 5 years AF (in February, I round up), I no longer need to think one day at a time. I know that forever is my plan, more on that next week! Stay tuned.

What’s up? + a picture

If you’re new here - I’m a mom of a six-year-old boy. And I love him A LOT.
So much so that I gave up my one day off last week to keep him home from school.

Just kidding, he was sick.

At first, I was frustrated about it. I have limited time to work on my projects, and I’m getting busier by the day - not a bad problem to have. 😎 But then I realized I could only control so much. I had to give him the attention he needed (a lot), and I had to put my mom-life first and my writer-life second.

Guess what? It all worked out. I still hopped on the calls I needed to and finished my assignments ahead of schedule.

I’m not sure where I’m going here but just know that as long as you try your hardest, whatever you do - you’re doing the best you can. ❤️

You should…

Read

What Can You Drink Instead of Alcohol During Sober October? [Verywell Health]

Sober October: Mocktail recipes to help you go alcohol-free for the month [Southern Kitchen]

Watch

7 Best TED Talks About Sobriety and Addiction [Avalon Recovery Society]

Things I like (with links)

Mocktail Club | use code: BLAIR15 for 15% off

Gruvi | use code: RELATABLEAF10 for 10% off first-time purchases

Curious Elixirs | use code: SHARP22 for $10 off $50

Recess | use code: RelatableAF for 15% off

NOPE | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off 2 or more 4-packs

Smart Sweets | use code: SOBRIETYACTIVIST10 for 10% off $30

Follow me on IG

Read my writing about sobriety

Wow, October already?! How?
I love fall. So I’m all about this weather and vibe change. How about you? I’m excited about the newsletter this month. It’s the first time FREE subscribers are getting weekly emails! So let’s get this show on the road…

AF tip of the week

Replacing your alcohol with something else is a great way to get through the difficult times in your AF life - especially at the beginning.

But ⚠️PROCEED WITH CAUTION ⚠️

If you’re not feeling comfortable with drinking NA beverages, then don’t.

It’s not a requirement.

It’s just a nice way to feel included, and it can make you feel fancy too. And who doesn’t want to feel fancy once in a while? 😎

Head to the bottom of this email for some discount codes on my favorite brands!

What’s up? + a picture

I’ve been super busy lately - and probably not doing the best at taking care of myself. I usually wait until I actually feel burned out to do anything about it rather than trying to take care of myself regularly - that’s something I need to work on!

We went to my son’s school’s fall carnival this weekend! It was so fun to see him talk to all his new friends. All the kids were so excited to see each other outside of the classroom…and he went to bed super early that night, so that’s a bonus. 😉

Check out my latest articles:

Step One: Quit Drinking. Step Two: Figure Out Who You Are Without Alcohol

Breaking Down "Wine Mom" Culture: Is It Keeping Women Drinking?

6 Questions with

1. Do you track AF time? If so, what is your AF date? If you don’t, why not?.

This is kind of a yes or no for me. I don’t count days anymore, but I do acknowledge that I walked into a recovery space on January 1, 2019. I also acknowledged that my first year of recovery had three slips, but I still count that entire year as a part of my journey. So I consider myself to be three years and eight months in recovery and two years and eight months completely alcohol-free. I think it’s really important that people have the freedom to count days or not count days, and that’s the beauty of this new age of recovery that we’re in. We’re in a place now where you get to decide what works best for you. When I first started my journey, I was counting the days religiously, but when I got to a few years in my journey, I just focused on the years rather than the days.

2. What is your “why?”

my why for getting sober and my why are staying sober are different. I got sober because I was just sick and tired of the downward spiral I was on. I got sober because I knew I deserved a better life, I knew I was capable of living a better life, and I knew that I wanted to have healthy family relationships. my why for staying sober is because it’s absolutely awesome!! I would never want to go back to that exhaustion that comes with alcohol abuse, so now my why is because living alcohol-free is just so freaking amazing that it’s not worth even considering going backward.

3. What’s your tip for the early AF days?

Fellowship, fellowship, and more fellowship! I cannot imagine getting through the first days of my alcohol-free journey alone. I think the most important thing is getting connected with other people who know exactly what the experience is like and who can support you and encourage you along the way. If you’re not comfortable walking into a room full of strangers, then get connected with people virtually; start following pages on IG or download some of the Sobriety apps like Reframe or Loosid .

4. Favorite AF hobby?

Everything, haha, anything you used to do drinking, you can do sober. But honestly, it’s probably time with family. That’s not really a hobby, but that’s my favorite thing to do now that everyone isn’t always mad at me for being a drunk a$$hole.

5. How do you de-stress? 

Exercise for sure! I train with a coach and follow a consistent routine on my own as well. Exercise is definitely the best anxiety and stress medicine for me. I also love a long walk alone to destress as well.

6. What's the best thing about living an AF life?

The best thing is having freedom. When I was drinking, I didn’t truly have freedom because I was always stuck in my own mind overthinking things, are using my words to hurt people because I was actually hurting myself. Now I have freedom, I have the freedom to be relieved from anxiety, I have the freedom to apologize to people when I say the wrong thing, and I have the freedom to live my life authentically and to be who I was meant to be. I no longer have to be concerned about getting another drink or be concerned about what I said to someone while I was drunk. I no longer have to wonder where my car is parked or whose house I’m waking up at. I just get to live in pure freedom, and it’s the best gift I ever gave myself.

👉🏼Find Kiola on Instagram @kiolaraines and on Clubhouse @kiolaraines

You should…

Listen to

Sober Powered - Your Guide to Sober Sex with Dr. Nazanin Moali

Read

These Cozy Fall Mocktail Recipes Are Great Alcohol-Free Sips [Hello Giggles]

The Importance of Healthy Self-Control and Sobriety [Psychology Today]

41+ Best Documentaries & Docu-Series Featuring Addiction and Recovery

Watch

I’m sharing this song again because it’s just. so. good.

Things I like (with links)

Mocktail Club | use code: BLAIR15 for 15% off

Gruvi | use code: RELATABLEAF10 for 10% off first-time purchases

Curious Elixirs | use code: SHARP22 for $10 off $50

Recess | use code: RelatableAF for 15% off

NOPE | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off 2 or more 4-packs

Smart Sweets | use code: SOBRIETYACTIVIST10 for 10% off $30

Instagram @sobrietyactivist

My writing on Medium

My website www.blairsharp.com

Leave a comment

AF tip of the week

This is a hard one for so many people.

When we quit drinking, we can get stuck in the past. We think about how much time we wasted, how much we missed, and who we could have been if we hadn’t focused so much on alcohol.

But answer this question: Where does that thinking get you?

I think you know the answer…it doesn’t get you anywhere good.

Don’t let shame and regret get you down. If that thought comes into your head - let it. And then let it go. If it helps, set a time limit on thinking about it. Once the time is up, move on. Distract yourself. Do something different.

Another way to help these thoughts is to reframe them. You can say to yourself, “a lot of time was wasted, but now I have so much time to live an AF life.”

How do you deal with shame and regret? Hit reply and let me know!

What’s up? + a picture

I’ve got a short update for you this week. There’s a lot going on, but not a lot going on. My writing business is moving forward, and that’s super exciting for me! I had to say goodbye to my childhood home last weekend, and I am not OK.

JK…I wasn’t OK - but I am somewhat OK now. Change is good; that’s what they say, right? I’ll keep telling myself that…

Have a great week! 😊

You should…

Read

Some articles on celebrities and their sobriety:

How Lala Kent's Life Transformed When She Began Her Journey to Sobriety [E! News]

Indigo Girls' Emily Saliers opens up about path to sobriety: 'I was destined to be an alcoholic

Macklemore opens up about sobriety journey, says recovery isn't linear [GMA]

Things I like (with links)

Mocktail Club | use code: BLAIR15 for 15% off

Gruvi | use code: RELATABLEAF10 for 10% off first time purchases

Curious Elixirs | use code: SHARP22 for $10 off $50

Recess | use code: RelatableAF for 15% off

NOPE | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off 2 or more 4-packs

Smart Sweets | use code: SOBRIETYACTIVIST10 for 10% off $30

Read my writing on Medium

Follow me on IG

AF tip of the week

This one.

This is the one.

This process didn’t start for me until I hit 1 year AF. The first year was a lot about how to “be” in the world without drinking. I went to events without booze. I had stressful, celebratory, lonely, and boring times, all without booze.

Year 2 was about figuring out who I was without it. For so long, I had been the life of the party. I wanted things to be fun, and I thought that meant getting a buzz on. The reality was that I couldn’t keep up with that way of life and be happy. I wasn’t going to live the life I deserved if I kept alcohol in my life.

The process of figuring out who you are without alcohol won’t be easy. It won’t be quick. I believe it takes years for us to truly figure it out - and even then, we still learn things about ourselves every day. The point is in the process. Keep an open mind, and keep learning about yourself.

Read books, listen to podcasts, and figure out what you like to do (and not do). Take an inventory of your life - who are your real friends? What types of things bring you joy or drain your energy? Do more joyful things and less draining things. You got this. ❤️

What’s up?+ a picture

Last week was a busy (in a good way) week for me. I got a lot of projects done and made some progress on new ones.

Being productive feels SO. GOOD. to me. It boosts my mood more than a lot of things.

This week I’ve got 2 afternoons off, and I plan to use them wisely. Two meetings for prospective opportunities, and more….you guessed it, writing! 😊

Here’s a photo I took a month back in my hometown. There’s something about recognizing how beautiful places are that you hadn’t realized before. My hometown is one of these places. They call it “Pretty Little Red Wing” for a reason. As an adult, I realize why. ❤️

Here’s my latest writing:

You’re Not the Only One Who Doesn’t Drink. Find Someone Who Is Telling Your Story. [Medium]

Alcohol Doesn’t Have to be An Accessory to Motherhood [SheKnows]

Should people with ADHD drink alcohol? Here's what the science says [Inflow]

Sober Instagram is reducing stigma around addiction [The Daily Dot]

Q & A

You asked…

How do you deal with sugar cravings?

Here’s what I think…

Quick answer: eat something sweet. 🤔🤣

This all depends on where you are at in your AF journey. If you’re just starting out - eat all the sweets you want. You deserve it.

My motto is, “sugar isn’t running my life just yet - so it can stay.”

But I realize that might not be a long-term fix for some. And even I start to feel icky after too much sugar too often.

Don’t limit yourself to no sugar. That’s a huge lifestyle change, and it’s drastic. I like to get a bag of small chocolates and drop a few in my lunchbox for the week. I eat one every day after lunch as a treat. We also believe strongly in eating dessert in our family. And by “in our family,” I mean me. Lately, my son and I have ice cream after dinner. It’s our “thing.”

Again, it’s a personal choice. But now that you don’t drink - what are you treating yourself with? If you want that treat to be a sweet one - go ahead. Just know that too much is probably going to make you feel icky and might mess with your health-goals if you have them, so try to find a way to have it in your life without overdoing it.

Do you have a question you want to see answered here? Send me an email or DM me on Instagram. 

You should…

Read

One Of The Signature Cocktails Served At The Emmys Was Alcohol-Free [Tasting Table]

Watch

This IG LIVE!
braunwynwindhamburke: “Such a great conversation with @emilylynnpaulson author of Hey Hun and Highlight Reel, finding honesty and recovery beyond the filtered life about the mommy wine culture, getting sober and having the honest conversations with our kids! If you’re sober, sober curious or just want info on how to live your best life ever watch and follow!! #sobermoms #sherecovers #onedayatatime #mommywineculture”

Things I like (with links)

Mocktail Club | use code: BLAIR15 for 15% off

Gruvi | use code: RELATABLEAF10 for 10% off first-time purchases

Curious Elixirs | use code: SHARP22 for $10 off $50

Recess | use code: RelatableAF for 15% off

NOPE | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off 2 or more 4-packs

Smart Sweets | use code: SOBRIETYACTIVIST10 for 10% off $30

Instagram @sobrietyactivist

My writing on Medium

My website www.blairsharp.com

Leave a comment

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AF tip of the week

This sounds obvious, doesn’t it?

Well, it’s actually not that easy. Many people don’t put themselves first. We often worry about what others will think, who will judge us, and how our actions will effect others…but what about us?

We’re the ones that we go to bed with and wake up with in the morning. We have to remember that putting ourselves first - especially in early AF life - is KEY to our success.

So - don’t go to the party if you’re not comfortable. Say no. There will be more parties, trust me. Leave events early. Don’t hang out with people or in places that might tempt you to drink.

It’s not worth it. Remember, right now you’re working on YOU. All that other stuff can wait. ❤️

What’s up? + a picture

I had a busy week last week (again), so now that things are finally starting to settle down at our house - I’m excited. Plus, the weather is cooling down and…

I LOVE FALL!

My son is in school (today is day 3) I still can’t believe I have a Kindergartener. I’ve been busy working on some writing projects and my husband went back to school too (he works at a high school). We’re all doing well! 😊 Here’s a pic from the 1st day:

6 Questions With

This week I’m sharing answers from my friend Kezia. We met on Instagram and we’ve been friends for a while. She’s known for her motivational posts and her writing. She even does writing workshops! Make sure to check out her links after you get through her Q&A. 😊

1. Do you track AF time? If so, what is your AF date? If you don’t, why not?

Yes, I track my time in the I Am Sober and Sober Buddy apps! I don't check it every day but it's nice to have reminders of how far I've come, and motivation at my fingertips when I need it!

2. What is your “why?”

My "why" is to show up for myself and my loved ones with authenticity and presence. I want to be the best possible version of myself and the best role model for my daughter.

3. What’s your tip for the early AF days?

Listen to your body - sleep, nourishment, hydration, relaxation...all the good things! You spent years poisoning your body, now is the time to repair it! Also, start showing your face in the sober community, and make at least one friend who will hold you accountable and support you!

4. Favorite AF hobby?

Catching up on Zoom with all my sober friends around the globe, and taking my daughter to the library every Saturday.

5. How do you de-stress? 

Meditation, exercise, listening to informative and motivational podcasts, cooking.

6. What's the best thing about living an AF life? 

Knowing that I can trust myself and that my word is impeccable. There are no longer any shady versions of me, what you see is what you get!

👉🏻 Find Kezia on her website and on Instagram @thesoberelephantchronicles

You should…

Listen to

I recently recorded with Candace Dudley on her podcast Better Brave. It was a great conversation, I hope you agree! ❤️

Read

23 Best Nonalcoholic Drinks (Just Don’t Call Them Mocktails, Please) [Epicurious]

Watch

Things I like (with links)

Mocktail Club | use code: BLAIR15 for 15% off

Gruvi | use code: RELATABLEAF10 for 10% off first-time purchases

Curious Elixirs | use code: SHARP22 for $10 off $50

Recess | use code: RelatableAF for 15% off

NOPE | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off 2 or more 4-packs

Smart Sweets | use code: SOBRIETYACTIVIST10 for 10% off $30

Instagram @sobrietyactivist

My writing on Medium

My website www.blairsharp.com

Leave a comment

Be sure to subscribe if you want to get Relatable AF in your inbox on Monday mornings 😊

Tips

Find one person who “gets it.”

Play the tape forward.

Make alcohol a non-option.

Make and keep boundaries.

Remember how far you’ve come.

You have to do more than not drink.

Do what you have to do for yourself.

Figure out who you are without alcohol.

Don’t let shame and regret get you down.

Try NA drinks if you feel like it.

Think about it one day at a time.

Think about what forever feels like.

Q&A

How do you know it’s worth it?

How to support sober-curious friends and not overstep - I want them to live this life!

With all your time sober, what is your favorite thing about that lifestyle change?

What is the best way to de-stress without alcohol?

6 Questions With

Gill Tietz of Sober Powered

Kezia Calvert

Kiola Raines

Follow me on Instagram

Read my sobriety writing on Medium

Visit my website

Subscribe now

AF tip of the week

Maybe you’ve heard this before, maybe you haven’t.

It’s one of the greats. So…what does it mean?

It means that when you decide to cut alcohol out of your life, you can’t only do that. You have to find or create other supports and tools to maintain your new AF life.

There is no “one way” to do this. It’s all individual, but it’s necessary.

Here are a few things you can add to your AF toolbox:

• Meetings (recovery meetings, 12-step, Zoom, etc.)

• Therapy or counseling

• Reading (books, blogs, articles, etc.)

• Listen to podcasts

• Find community (in real life, or online, whatever works)

• Replace booze as a coping mechanism with something else (what will you do when you’re stressed/angry/lonely, etc.?)

• Music

• Movement (go for walks, exercise, stretch/yoga)

There are so many more! The most important thing is that you just. don’t. drink.

What’s up? + a picture

For some of you, it’s been a whole month since you received a note from me. 😯

August was a busy month for my family. I’m excited for things to settle down a bit now that September is here. My son starts school this week😭. And my husband and I just got back from Colorado. Catch up on my trip with the highlight I created on my Instagram page.

More about our Denver trip:
We did some touristy things, ate good food, and went to a beautiful wedding.
I ordered an NA margarita at a taco bar and it was SO GOOD. It tasted like the real thing! The welcome dinner and wedding both had a variety of NA options and my friend even had a mocktail on her signature drink menu! We also went to Meow Wolf - if you ever get a chance to go, it’s a must-see!

Oh, and here are some of my latest articles:

Alcohol Doesn’t Have to be An Accessory to Motherhood [SheKnows]

Sober Instagram is reducing stigma around addiction [The Daily Dot]

Want to Quit Drinking? Do These 3 Things NOW! [Medium]

You should…

Listen to

Yes, the name of the podcast I’m sharing this week is Squats and Margaritas - stay with me here…

Erin Washington talks with Annie Grace about what she learned from reading Annie’s Book, This Naked Mind. Erin talks about her relationship with alcohol and they discuss how we as a society view the substance. It was a really honest conversation and I enjoyed listening to the episode. I think you will too.

Read

The Best TV Shows, Movies, and Documentaries About Addiction & Recovery [The Sober Curator]

The 28 Best Recipes for Mocktails [Town and Country]

The 9 Best Sobriety Apps Of 2022 [Bustle]

Watch

This is a clip of Dr. Daniel Amen talking with Mel Robins about her brain scan. Skip to the 11-minute mark where the subject of alcohol comes up. Very interesting stuff.

Things I like (with links)

Mocktail Club | use code: BLAIR15 for 15% off

Gruvi | use code: RELATABLEAF10 for 10% off first-time purchases

Curious Elixirs | use code: SHARP22 for $10 off $50

Recess | use code: RelatableAF for 15% off

NOPE | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off 2 or more 4-packs

Smart Sweets | use code: SOBRIETYACTIVIST10 for 10% off $30

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In this email, I’m sharing a tip that is for anyone who isn’t new to AF life. And if you keep reading - you’ll find some tips on how I de-stress without booze. Enjoy!

AF tip of the week

I had a request for some content for those who aren’t new to the AF life. Thanks for letting me know what you’d like to see here! ❤️

As time goes on, we can get comfortable. Sometimes this can cause us to go back to our old ways of thinking and doing. As soon as you notice this feeling - STOP.

Don’t let yourself go back there. Put your memories of your early AF days at the top of your mind. Remember how much you wanted and needed this life. Remember how your drinking affected your life. Remember how hard it was at the beginning. Remember all the things you had to go through to get where you are at today. Remember how far you’ve come.

What’s up? + a picture

If you’ve been following along for a bit, you already know that I have had a busy month. My son turned 6 last week, and we had his birthday party on Saturday. We’re going to Denver this week for a friend’s wedding (kid-free!). And my son starts kindergarten next week!

It’s been fun, but I’m excited for things to slow down a bit. Here are some photos from our fun day at the Mall of America for his birthday:

Here are some of my latest articles:

Sober Instagram is reducing stigma around addiction [The Daily Dot]

Yes, I have ADHD. Yes, I did well in school. Here's how [Inflow]

Q & A

You asked…

What is the best way to de-stress without alcohol?

Here’s what I think…

This question is so individual. What works for me might not work for you, and what you do might not work for me! But I’m here to share my experiences:

🍫I like food/sweets. Instead of booze at the end of a long day, I’ll have a snack or something sweet. I have dessert almost every night. This is so different from when I was drinking (because I’d usually drink my stress away).

📺I also like to watch mindless TV. This usually comes in the form of reality shows like Housewives, Selling Sunset (and now Selling The OC), Love Island, Big Brother, etc. You get the point.

🚶🏻‍♀️Walks are good for my mind and body. I try to take one or two at work if I can. I struggle with remembering to go for a walk on days I’m not at the office…I need to be better about this!

😴Another thing that I find very useful is going to bed. Sometimes that’s all that it takes. It’s a good way to say “I’m done for today” and (hopefully) wake up refreshed ready to start a new day.

🗣️Lastly, venting to my husband or friends. I do this a lot. I think that it helps to talk things out with someone. Sometimes I want input and sometimes I just want to let it all out. Support in that way is important for me.

How about you? Hit reply to this email and let me know what works for you when you’re feeling stressed! ❤️

Do you have a question you want to see answered here? Send me an email or DM me on Instagram. 

You should…

Listen to

Read

Has Everyone Stopped Drinking? [Vogue]

Someone not drinking alcohol? It's none of your business. [USA Today]

Watch

Things I like (with links)

Mocktail Club | use code: BLAIR15 for 15% off

Gruvi | use code: RELATABLEAF10 for 10% off first-time purchases

Curious Elixirs | use code: SHARP22 for $10 off $50

Recess | use code: RelatableAF for 15% off

NOPE | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off 2 or more 4-packs

Smart Sweets | use code: SOBRIETYACTIVIST10 for 10% off $30

Find me on Instagram

Read my writing on Medium

Have a great week everyone!

AF tip of the week

This tip is great for those who just quit drinking and those who have been in the game for a while. But let’s be honest - boundary setting is good for EVERYONE.

It’s not easy. It takes some confidence and the ability to stand up for what you need.

A few AF boundaries you can set are:

• Tell your people what you are and aren’t comfortable with when it comes to being around alcohol.

• Pick and choose the events you go to according to YOUR comfort level.

• Decide who and what kinds of things you want to spend your time on.

• Leave social events when you feel like it.

• Say no to things that don’t align with your progress.

Don’t forget, that boundaries aren’t only for other people. Make boundaries for yourself by deciding what you are and aren’t willing to do when it comes to alcohol. You got this. ❤️

What’s up? + a picture

Tomorrow (August 23) is my son’s sixth birthday. We’re planning to take him to the Mall of America for rides, the arcade, lunch, and who knows what else we’ll get into - and I can’t wait. Once you become a parent, your child’s joy becomes yours. Watching him get excited about things and have fun makes me happy. It should be a great time.

I went through all my old pictures and decided on this one to share with you this week. It’s a photo of the three of us the day after he was born. We didn’t know what we were doing. He was healthy but had to stay in the step-down NICU for five days to be on antibiotics. We thought of it as “extra help” for new parents who were tired and unaware of what they were in for.

And just like that, he’ll be six tomorrow and starting kindergarten in two weeks.

What is time? Enjoy what little you have. ❤️

Q & A

You asked…

With all your time sober, what is your favorite thing about that lifestyle change?

Here’s what I think…

Hands-down: no hangovers.

I used to get the WORST hangovers you could imagine. Ones where I couldn’t even drink water. And the water was the only thing I wanted. It was bad. Each time I had a hangover I’d wish the day away because I knew that time was the only thing that would really help.

Of course, it was because of the amount I drank and the fact that I didn’t take care of myself very well.

Without hangovers, I feel like anything is possible. Even on my worst day, it’s not the worst because I’m not hungover.

Do you have a question you want to see answered here? Send me an email or DM me on Instagram. 

These AF words

My hope is that this space is where I will write an essay for you each month that is exclusive to Relatable AF. This month has been such a busy one that I’m sharing a blog I wrote last year for Lionrock Recovery. I think you’ll find it really useful.

4 Ways to Curb Shame and Regret When You Quit Drinking

Quitting drinking can bring up big feelings of shame and regret. It can be hard to move forward when your mind is stuck on what happened in the past. For some people, it’s easier to not speak about it. Others are speaking out loud because it helps us, and it helps others feel less alone. I've done a lot of things in my past that I regret, and if I could go back and re-do some parts of my life, I wouldn't. If I did, I don't know if I would be where I am today.

How do I deal with shame and regret? I feel that the universe has a way of making things happen the way they are supposed to, good or bad. Would I be typing these words at this exact moment if the events in my life didn’t line up exactly the way that they did? This way of thinking is not for everyone, but it’s what helps me. 

Having regret is wishing you hadn’t done something. It can also be thinking that you may have missed out on an opportunity. You might regret that you didn’t take a chance on something because of your drinking. Or you can regret doing something while drinking that you wouldn’t have done if you had been sober.

Shame is different. It's that feeling deep down that makes you feel that you’re a bad person, because of things you have done. In turn, you may feel unworthy of happiness or good things. You don’t think you are worth it.

In the end, both shame and regret are thoughts. They are simply how we think about ourselves and our actions, but they aren’t who we really are. 

Many people use alcohol to numb their feelings. While you’re drinking it’s easy to put negative thoughts to the back of your mind. But when you quit drinking, you’re required to feel your feelings. And you’ll probably get flooded with lots of new emotions. For some people, this is a brand new feeling and can be a very difficult part of recovery. It takes time to figure out how to work through these feelings, and it isn’t always easy. 

We can’t change the past. But what's cool about recovery is that we get to grow from our past mistakes. This allows us to move forward and do the next right thing. We get to make a better future for ourselves, without alcohol. And that’s exciting. 

But how?

Recognize Your Thoughts

When a regretful or shameful thought comes into your head, notice it. Is there a specific time of day, place, or person who brings up these feelings? If so, you might need to adjust some people, places, or things in your life. This might not be forever, but as you work through your feelings about the past, you’ll figure that out for yourself. Only you know what you are comfortable with. You are the one who has to do the work.

Accept The Past

Remember, your thoughts about the past are that, thoughts. Whatever happened in the past is done. You can’t change it. But you can change the way you think about it. As I said, I think about my past as the path I needed to go on to get to where I am today. 

Get Closure

If you need to, apologize to people who you may have hurt. Doing this can bring you closure. It might also bring you closer to that person. It’s human nature to remember the negative, but you might be surprised. Sometimes what we remember as being a bad situation, isn’t even something other people remember at all. You could be being hard on yourself for nothing. But you’ll never know if you don’t try.

Talk About It

Talk to someone about how you’re feeling. Therapy can be beneficial for people to work through the hard things. If you're struggling, a licensed professional can give you some tools to work through it. Another way you can talk about it is to journal, blog, or share on social media. Sometimes putting it out there helps you to realize you’re not alone and in turn, helps others too. 

Although it feels daunting, you are capable of getting to a place in your life in which you can own and be grateful for your past. Good or bad, those times caused you to be who you are today. And remember, your thoughts are only thoughts. They aren’t your reality. And only you have the ability to change your future.

You should…

Read

‘I’m not drinking right now.’ You don’t need to have a problem to take a break. [The Washington Post]

‘Alcohol is a hand grenade’: how reality TV went from boozy Big Brother to nosecco Love Island [The Guardian]

Watch

Things I like (with links)

Mocktail Club | use code: BLAIR15 for 15% off

Gruvi | use code: RELATABLEAF10 for 10% off first-time purchases

Curious Elixirs | use code: SHARP22 for $10 off $50

Recess | use code: RelatableAF for 15% off

NOPE | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off 2 or more 4-packs

Smart Sweets | use code: SOBRIETYACTIVIST10 for 10% off $30

My IG: @sobrietyactivist

My writing on Medium

My website

AF tip of the week + a picture

This was a big one for me. Accepting that under no circumstances could I drink was a game-changer. It’s what worked. I’ve heard that “acceptance” is key to a lot of people’s success in sobriety.

For so long we’ve turned to booze for every emotion, every event, and everything (good and bad) that we encounter in our lives. It’s not going to be easy to turn it down in the moment, so by making it a non-option we leave no room to budge.

Many people struggle with this because the idea of “forever” is hard to commit to. So if that’s you, don’t think about it as forever, but as something you’re not willing to do right now.

For this week’s picture, I wanted to share a moment from our trip to the county fair. By making alcohol a non-option, I’m able to be fully present and enjoy my son milking a fake cow. Who wouldn’t want that life? 😊

What’s up?

I’m writing this on a Wednesday. Last weekend my mom moved out of my childhood home and into a new (smaller) home that she will call just hers. This was a big step for her in a few ways. It was a big downsize in square footage, and she had to get rid of a lot of things in order to make it work (literally, things wouldn’t fit otherwise). But she moved out of the home that she and my dad spent over thirty years in. Soon we’ll have to say goodbye for good to that house - and I’m not ready. 🥺

In other (good) news, I only work two days this week and have no plans this weekend. There’s just something nice about having no weekend plans, am I right?

Anyways, on with more stuff you’re here for…

Oh and here’s my latest writing on Medium:

Want to Quit Drinking? Do These 3 Things NOW!

Q & A

You asked…

How to support sober-curious friends and not overstep - I want them to live this life!

Here’s what I think…

The short answer is - to keep doing what you’re doing.

Hopefully, you’re growing and evolving into a better version of yourself now that you don’t drink. And hopefully, your friend will see that and want that too!

Everyone has to make the decision on their own, it can’t be forced - or else it won’t work. So keep talking about the benefits (without being annoying), tell them that you’re available to chat, be supportive, and make sure to set and keep boundaries for both of you.

If they never come to the sober-side, then they don’t get to experience all the good that it brings. And they will have to live that way. Not you. You still get to live your best AF life regardless of their choices. And remember, it’s their choice.

Support your friends wherever they’re at. You’re a great friend. ❤️

Do you have a question you want to see answered here? Send me an email or DM me on Instagram. 

You should…

Listen to

Blair’s Story (my episode recording) [Decidedly Dry Podcast]

Read

Have You Ever Wondered If You Are A Normal Drinker? [Thrive]

Watch

Epicurious expert Maggie Hoffman on rise of non-alcoholic drinks, easy recipes to make [CBS News]

Things I like (with links)

Mocktail Club | use code: BLAIR15 for 15% off

Gruvi | use code: RELATABLEAF10 for 10% off first-time purchases

Curious Elixirs | use code: SHARP22 for $10 off $50

Recess | use code: RelatableAF for 15% off

NOPE | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off 2 or more 4-packs

Smart Sweets | use code: SOBRIETYACTIVIST10 for 10% off $30

My Links

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AF tip of the week + a picture

If you’ve been around the AF block before, or even if you haven’t…you might have heard this phrase. But, what does it mean?

When you get those pesky thoughts like “I could really use a drink right now…” or “just one won’t hurt...”

PLAY THE TAPE FORWARD.

Think about what happens next. Here’s how this works for me:

I have a drink. I have another drink. And because I have that voice deep in the back of my mind that makes me want more more more - I keep drinking. Because, screw it. Right? I’ve already ruined my AF streak. It might be fun for a little bit, but I really don’t know what will happen.

I never knew what would happen when I drank; I always just hoped for the best. Sometimes it turned out fine. And sometimes, I ended up in the ER, or I left my purse on a large planter downtown (both true stories). Either way, I’d wake up deathly hungover and regretting it all. And I’m not willing to live that way anymore.🤷🏻‍♀️

So for me, it has to be none.

For your picture this week, here’s how a typical wedding used to go for me. Note the number of drinks at our table… 😬

What’s up?

I still can’t believe August is here! It’s a busy month for my family. My mom is moving out of the house I grew up in, I’m celebrating seven years of marriage on the 15th, and my son turns six on the 23rd. Oh, and my husband and I are going to Denver at the end of the month for a friend’s wedding.

AND we’re going to see Kevin Hart perform in a few weeks too! I saw him perform before, a few months before quitting drinking. And yep, as you could guess…I barely remember it. I’m SO excited to watch this time without a buzz. Making memories you’ll actually remember is a great benefit to AF life. 😊

I haven’t published anything new in the past week, so again here are some of my Medium articles:

I’m a (Retired) Binge Drinker. Here Are Some Thoughts About Why I Quit

5 Things That Helped Me Quit Drinking That Aren’t Alcoholics Anonymous

It’s Happy Hour Somewhere! Navigating Sobriety in the Workplace

Want Not Drinking To Get Easier? Grab Your Sparkling Water and Read This

Q & A

You asked…

How do you know it’s worth it?

Here’s what I think…

I know myself. I know how I drink. I’ve always been a binge-drinker with no off-switch. I was capable of having one or two, but I always wanted more. And I never knew how it would turn out.

When I wake up on a weekend hangover-free, I realize that I want to feel this way forever.

When I have a special moment with my son or notice something small that he did, I realize that I may not have noticed if I had been drinking or hungover.

I am so much more motivated and confident now. I’m not going through each day like a robot. I’m actually living my life. I have realized how short life is and that we have to do things that truly make us happy. I’m content now. That alone is worth all of it.

I know that drinking would give me some ease from stress, and it might even be fun sometimes. But I know that giving that up is worth all the good I get from being AF.

I remember how unhappy I was right before I decided to quit. Life is too good now. I don’t want to go back there. ❤️

Do you have a question you want to see answered here? Reply to this email or DM me on Instagram. 

6 Questions with

Each month you’ll get an inside look at someone else’s AF life. And this week, I asked my BFF Gill to share.
👉🏻Don’t forget to sign up for the weekly emails; you don’t miss out on this perk!

1. Do you track AF time? If so, what is your AF date? If you don’t, why not?

I do track because milestones were super motivating for me in the beginning. I love to celebrate and be proud of myself, and it was nice to have a special day each month. My sober date is Nov 9, 2019.

2. What is your “why?”

A little dramatic, but... I don't want to die. That's the reason I quit and whenever thoughts of "maybe it's been long enough and I can moderate now" pop into my head I remind myself that I don't want to die lol. I was very suicidal at the end of my drinking and it was getting scary, so I know if I start drinking again I will eventually go back to that place.

3. What’s your tip for the early AF days?

Do different stuff. The worst thing you can do is keep living the same lifestyle, just without the alcohol. I used to sit around, drink, and watch TV, so when I first stopped drinking I didn't even go in my living room for a month. Watching The Bachelor without alcohol is going to make you feel like you're missing out and feel bored. I read books in my bed with some tea, took group fitness classes at the gym, and researched addiction science instead.

4. Favorite AF hobby?

Videogames :) that has always been my thing. I was bullied in middle and high school and never really had any friends, so I spent a lot of time playing videogames with my brother. When I was drinking though, I used to get drunk and play games but the problem was I would usually blackout. I remember when the first survival tomb raider game came out around 2014 I got really drunk one night playing it and when I went to play again the next night I could not remember what happened! I was constantly having to restart videogames and movies because I was blacking out. Now, I remember everything I do!

5. What's the best thing about living an AF life? 

That I don't have to hate myself anymore. It took about 6 months of sobriety to get here, but I like myself now. That's something I have never experienced in all of my life.

6. How do you de-stress? 

Rage walks, rage cleaning, sending a ton of voice notes to Blair on IG, venting to my husband Drew, going to the gym and lifting the heaviest thing I can find, eating an emotional support bag salad, or playing video games for 10 hours in 1 day.

Listen to Gill’s podcast: Sober Powered. And find her on Instagram @sober.powered and on her website.

You should

Listen to

Grieving the Loss of Alcohol [Addiction Unlimited podcast}

Read

Spark a Little Friendly Competition With This Guide to Hosting the Ultimate Game Night [Pop Sugar]

50 Non-Boozy Beverages For Sober Celebrations [Mashed]

Watch

Things I like (with links)

Mocktail Club | use code: BLAIR15 for 15% off

Gruvi | use code: RELATABLEAF10 for 10% off first-time purchases

Curious Elixirs | use code: SHARP22 for $10 off $50

Recess | use code: RelatableAF for 15% off

NOPE | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off two or more 4-packs

Smart Sweets | use code: SOBRIETYACTIVIST10 for 10% off $30

Instagram @sobrietyactivist

My writing on Medium

My website www.blairsharp.com

To celebrate Relatable AF’s launch you are getting a free email next Monday too! You lucky duck. 🦆

Where does that term “lucky duck” come from anyway? I guess we don’t know. But thanks to Dr. Techie in this random online forum that I found, there are some valid assumptions.

Anywho…if you like what you see here and want to continue receiving a weekly email from me, please subscribe. Find out more about what you get at the end of this email.

Subscribe now

AF tip of the week + a picture

Support, community, and connection are so important when you are AF, especially at the beginning. And it’s true even for me at almost 4.5 years without alcohol.

When I first decided to quit drinking, I didn’t know anyone else that didn’t drink. That made me really scared. Once I found people (online) who had been where I was, knew what I was going through, and had made it through…I was relieved.

I joined sobriety Facebook groups and I found out about Sober IG. I created my own private account there. I shared a lot and met a lot of great (also AF) people. Talking about what I was going through with them was extremely helpful in my early days.

Today, I still share about my sobriety journey, only now it’s to help others (like you). I know how valuable that support can be for someone who is struggling, so I keep showing up. ❤️

For this week’s photo - let’s stay on theme, shall we? Here is a photo of two ducks. Do you know what it’s like to be a duck? Me either. My guess is that’s something only ducks know. I’m glad they have each other. (This is your hint to find your duck)

Photo by Patrick Robert Doyle on Unsplash

What’s up?

This is the spot where you’ll get an update from me! I’ll share what I’ve been up to and maybe some pictures too!

To start us off - here’s a pic of me with my fam, they’re my favorite. 😍

I’ve been pretty busy lately. Between preparing for the launch of Relatable AF, my other writing, work, and my personal life…I’ve had a lot going on. I’m the type of person who goes all-in on something when I set my mind to it. So, I did.

The thought for this email started long ago but it seemed like such an undertaking that I didn’t want to do it. I’m not sure what changed. No, honestly, I can’t remember…it’s kind of a blur. But I’m glad whatever did, did. I’m so excited to share this project with you!

I know you’re here for AF things but I’m more than just a person who doesn’t drink, and you are too. Some of you might not even be alcohol-free - so thanks for being here.

Check out a few of my latest:

It’s Happy Hour Somewhere! Navigating Sobriety in the Workplace

Want Not Drinking To Get Easier? Grab Your Sparkling Water and Read This

Why You Should Let Your Child Explore Boundaries and Do ‘Dangerous’ Things

I’d love to get an idea of where you’re at with your AF-ness (work with me here).

So please do this poll:

You should…

Listen to

10 Things No One Tells You About Quitting Drinking [Sober Powered podcast]

Read

#QUITLIT The Boozeless Bookclub: Mean Baby, A Memoir of Growing Up by Selma Blair [The Sober Curator]

Watch

“Through the lens of her personal story, Emily Lynn Paulson is urging all of us to take a hard look at our own relationship with alcohol and the culture we are creating for our kids.”

Things I like (with links)

Mocktail Club | use code: BLAIR15 for 15% off

Gruvi | use code: RELATABLEAF10 for 10% off first time purchases

Curious Elixirs | use code: SHARP22 for $10 off $50

Recess | use code: RelatableAF for 15% off

NOPE | use code: RELATABLEAF for 20% off 2 or more 4-packs

Smart Sweets | use code: SOBRIETYACTIVIST10 for 10% off $30

Instagram @sobrietyactivist

My writing on Medium

My website www.blairsharp.com

Are you alcohol-free?

Are you curious about alcohol-free life?

You’re in the right spot!

Subscribe to Relatable AF to get the goods delivered to your inbox every Monday!

What you can expect:

🎉Tips

🎉Resources and Recommendations

🎉Discounts on my favorite brands!

Subscribe now

So…who am I?

I’m a wife and mom from Minnesota.

After a long career as a binge drinker with no off-switch, I quit drinking in February of 2018. Since then, I’ve learned to maneuver life AF and I’ve figured out who I am without alcohol. Let me help you get there too.

Have an idea for Relatable AF? 

Send me an email or DM me on Instagram. 

We're in this together. ❤️