Heck, I despised it throughout my school life. The plan was to get into Archaeology.

But COVID happened, and things had to change. I tried out some writing gigs in my spare time but was rejected from literally all of them. So I took up a challenge to crack it by starting my own blog on MEDIUM.

Lucky or not, most of my blogs there actually went viral! That’s when I realised “writing” wasn’t as difficult as it seemed.

I went back to offering writing as a skill and came across an amazing client.

Initially, I designed graphics as well as wrote some summaries for her podcast. But eventually, I was offered to work on some website landing pages, blogs, emails and social media posts for her as well.

Ghostwriting paid the bills. But it also hurt me somewhere

Over the last 4 yrs of ghostwriting for clients exhausted a part of me that became obsessed with just performing. I wanted something more, something of my own.

I wanted something more.

Something I could call mine.

I’d tried Twitter and LinkedIn, but showing up there put me in the same “performative” state.

A few months later, I heard about Substack.

But it was just a “rising” newsletter platform, so I gave it a shot.

Who knew it’d be one of the top social media platforms (for writers) with insane reach and an amazing community of people.

Building RESET (my newsletter) was fun because I could finally have something of my own while making friends here.

The crazy part is how Substack helped me find my niche here.

I’d built RESET sheerly out of wanting to figure things out, instead of having it already figured out. To be accurate, I was tired of feeling guilty for failing at “discipline”. But then I realised, more than half of the advice out there wasn’t really tailored to my brain.

And I found out notes and articles on how neurodivergents were a thing.

Boom! I knew exactly what I wanted to write about in my newsletter.

Best decision ever btw.

I enjoy writing about ditching the generic productivity advice and how we can tailor it for ourselves instead of just “going with the flow”.

I didn’t want to be the expert on this

RESET was not supposed to be some “expert advice- based newsletter I wanted to share with you all.

It’s just a part of me that’s trying to “thrive” amongst all the advice out there that I could never perform on.

My first few articles here were kinda exactly the type that would put me on the pedestal as an “expert”. But that’s something I definitely did not want RESET to turn into.

There are a ton of things I want to brainstorm and mix with my niche to actually make it more fun and value-driven at the same time, which is probably why I took a really long time (7-8 months) to come up with another article. Not that this is a “typical” one, but I realised sitting it out is never going to help.

I may still not have everything figured out, but becoming a sitting duck is not going to help it. I’d rather start writing and figure things out along the way.

The ICK that won’t let me just post Notes

PLUS, you have no idea how insane this feels.

It’s been ages since I wrote something all my own, publicly.

I’ve been an asshole and skipped a lot of writing in the past few months, convincing myself that just reading and posting NOTES would cut it for me. But here I am, a victim of that “ICK” (guilt, lol) that would never let me sit still with just that.

If you read till here, a big THANK YOU! Please drop a “HI” so I can thank YOU, personally!

Leave a comment

Someone asks for a “quick favor.”

You tell yourself, Sure, it’ll only take a few minutes.

Then another person needs “just a bit” of your time. And another.

Ooops.

You’re now tired, overwhelmed, and wondering why your own plans never seem to fit anywhere. And yet, the next time someone asks for help, the word “yes” slips out again, before you even think about it.

I tell myself I’m just being helpful.

One more favor. One more meeting. One more “sure, I can do that.”

But lately, I’ve noticed helping doesn’t feel helpful anymore.

It feels like guilt wearing a polite smile.

When Yes Feels Safer Than No

Saying yes feels good in the moment.

It makes people like you. It buys peace.

And gives that small rush of being seen as dependable.

You know, like being the person everyone can count on.

But underneath, there’s a quieter story.

You learned, probably a long time ago, that keeping everyone happy meant staying safe.

For me, it started at home, where conflict felt dangerous - being agreeable was praised more than being honest.

And it soon turned me into the “easy one”, the “flexible one”, and the one who says “Yeah, no problem,” even when there’s a problem.

As expected, the habit soon followed me into adulthood - my creative work, inbox, and friendships.

Subscribe now

The Hidden Cost of Every Yes

Every yes takes something from you. Even the small ones.

It leaves you stretched so thin that rest feels like guilt and saying no feels like rebellion.

This only clicked a couple of days back for me, but my burnout came from not overworking, but from over-agreeing.

Breaking the Cycle

It took me a while to notice the pattern.

I’d say yes, feel drained, pull back, then feel guilty for pulling back — and the next time someone asked for help, I’d overcompensate by saying yes again.

Sound familiar?

It’s a loop that feels generous but is actually powered by fear.

One day, I looked at my week and realized: almost none of it reflected what I wanted.

I had built a schedule around other people’s expectations and started disappearing from my own.

Leave a comment

The Reset

These days, I try to pause before every yes.

In other words, if the answer is coming from excitement, I go for it, but if it’s coming from guilt, I let it go.

Sometimes that means saying, “That sounds great, but I don’t have space for it right now.”

Other times, it just means not replying immediately, giving myself time to check what I actually want.

Because protecting your energy isn’t selfish. It’s sustainable.

You don’t owe everyone your availability.

Every no you say to what drains you becomes a yes to what keeps you alive.

I call it self-respect.

Share RESET

For the first time!

Desk cleaned. Notes organized. Content scheduled.

And yet, by the end of the day, I felt drained - not accomplished.

That’s when it hit me.

Working “too hard” didn’t mess it up. I worked “wrong”.

What I mean:

Some habits look productive. They even feel good in the moment.

But deep down, they quietly wear you out because your brain’s doing double the work to look “busy.”

I can’t list them all here, but here are the ones that actually impacted me the most (probably you too).

1. The Endless “Setup” Phase

You tell yourself you’ll start working right after you clean your desk or after finding your perfect playlist.

But here’s what really happens:

Your brain keeps postponing the scary part:

Actually starting.

I would go about designing my desktop, move apps around, and make my trackers (inside Notion) look fancy.

All so I could “focus” better.

Or so I thought.

But what I was really doing was calming my anxiety instead of creating progress.

There’s a difference between getting ready and getting stuck preparing forever.

Sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is begin before you feel ready.

2. Doing Too Many Things at Once

You’ve got your inbox open, a podcast running in the background, and you’re halfway through writing a post.

It might feel efficient, but your brain can’t fully focus on more than one thing at a time.

Each switch drains a little bit of your energy, like leaving a bunch of apps open on your phone.

Multi-tasking?

Nah.

I call it “micro-frying my brain.”

I set a timer on my desktop (visible everywhere - even in the browser) so I can stay conscious of what I’m working on.

Subscribe now

3. Saying Yes to Everything

It’s easy to think that saying yes makes you helpful or kind.

However, too many “yeses” can lead to carrying everyone’s load and agreeing to things just because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone.

Protecting your time isn’t rude. It’s responsible, I feel.

You don’t owe everyone your energy, especially when you’re running on empty.

4. Tracking Every Tiny Thing

This one might not be for everyone.

I once tracked everything - my hours, my mood, even my water intake.

It started as a good habit, but soon became exhausting.

Realized I was monitoring myself like a lab experiment.

Sometimes, tracking turns into control.

And you start measuring your worth through numbers.

You don’t need to manage every moment of your life to feel productive.

Recently, I’ve been trusting myself enough to show up without proof.

Be it at sad, tired, random, or for a short span, I prefer not waiting for stuff to fall into place and show up anyway.

Share

5. Refreshing Your Stats

Checking your analytics.

Your likes.

Your views.

Your open rates.

It gives a quick hit of validation - and then emptiness right after.

Initially, I did that a lot - check my Substack dashboard almost every hour to watch the numbers go up/down.

Told myself it was “research.”

It wasn’t. It was anxiety in disguise.

Since then, I’ve reduced (but it’s harder to maintain it on the app 🫠)

I’ve been convincing myself that my metrics don’t define my growth.

How often I show up does.

And if my work means something to me, it’s already valuable.

Share RESET

The Reset

I’ve been seeing everyone chase more habits, goals, routines, and whatnot.

Done that too.

Didn’t work.

Instead, it left me more anxious and burned out.

So I decided to chop off a lot of them and focus on the ones that actually move the needle.

We’re taught that progress means constant “growth”.

But hey, our brain needs rest to recharge.

And I feel most creators out there aren’t tired from working too little, but from working on things that don’t matter.

So here’s something to try this week:

Drop one habit that drains you.

Even just for a few days.

Right here in the comments.

And then come back after a week and let me know what came back for you:

Your focus, your peace, or your energy?

Leave a comment

Every time I tried to take a break, this low hum of guilt would start buzzing in the back of my mind.

“You’re wasting time.”

But I deserved rest. I’d even plan it.

Somehow, I’d end up scrolling, “just checking something,” or spiraling into thoughts about everything I should be doing instead.

My body stopped, but my brain never did :)

It’s strange how silence can feel so loud when you’ve built your worth around “doing”.

Why Your Brain Doesn’t Feel Safe in Rest Mode

I feel you’ll relate when I say, for a lot of us, rest isn’t peaceful.

It’s threatening.

Because when you’ve spent years running on adrenaline, a break feels like withdrawal.

Our brain is wired for motion.

It looks for stimulation, for something to fix, for a next step to chase.

If you live with ADHD or a chronically busy mind, rest can even feel like an identity crisis.

You start asking: Who am I when I’m not working on something?

And that’s the problem.

We mistake exhaustion for purpose.

We call survival “drive.”

We confuse burnout with ambition because the world rewards motion more than it values rest.

Subscribe now

When “Self-Care” Turns Into Another Job

I’ve tried to rest the way internet gurus told me to.

The perfect morning routine.

Digital detoxes.

Self-care checklists that made me feel more like a robot than a human.

Even my downtime became a productivity project.

Ouch.

I’d light a candle, make a to-do list for my rest day, and then feel worse when I couldn’t even relax the “right” way.

Ouch (again).

It took me years to realize I was bad at feeling safe while resting. (still working on it)

Because rest isn’t a skill problem. It’s a safety problem.

Your brain doesn’t trust the quiet if it’s spent most of its life on high alert.

The funny part is, we’re probably burning out since forever, and we still don’t notice it.

Leave a comment

The Cost of Never Powering Down

When you can’t rest, you don’t just get tired - you lose touch with yourself.

I start running out of joy, not energy.

Yes, I become efficient, but detached.

Present, but numb.

And eventually, we hit that wall where even the smallest task feels like climbing a mountain.

I thought I needed better systems (I still do, lol)

But no tool can fix you unless you know this:

You’re safe enough to stop.

Unfortunately, your body remembers every time you ignored its signals, every yawn you pushed through, and every late night you justified with “just one more thing.”

Share

The RESET

(Before proceeding, I want you to know that any resets in this blog, previous ones or the upcoming ones are not some standardized set of rules - they’re just my experiences with what I’ve tried and are still a work in progress. Do what works best for you.)

Here we go:

What if REST isn’t the opposite of productivity, but it’s the literal foundation of it?

You can’t build anything good from depletion.

These days, I practice what I call micro-rests - tiny moments where I let myself pause without explaining it.

Yup, I literally daydream.

Just moments of nothing.

Sometimes it’s sitting with my laptop open, closing my eyes in between work, or on the couch, and letting my mind wander, on purpose.

Say, I stopped trying to rest perfectly.

Instead, I went with doing it honestly.

A Small Reminder Before You Go

You’re not lazy for slowing down, nor are you falling behind.

It’s just unlearning a life built around noise.

Share RESET

Then another.

Then a podcast about the same topic, just in case I “missed something.”

By the end of the night, I had a dozen new ideas and absolutely nothing done.

Yes - it was my illusion of progress.

Learning felt productive.

Plus, it even gave me that quiet rush, like I was moving forward without having to face the discomfort of actually trying.

The Comfort of “Learning Mode”

Learning is safe. Doing is not.

There’s no risk of failure when you’re consuming information, get it?

No messy outcomes.

No half-baked results.

I would spend hours reading about creative systems, time-blocking, ADHD hacks, and productivity frameworks.

But when it came time to actually build or write something, I’d FREEZE.

It’s strange because I could explain the science of motivation, the psychology of habit formation, even quote the experts.

But none of it helped me move.

That’s when I realized:

My brain was addicted to the idea of growth.

Not growth itself.

Subscribe now

The Dopamine Hit That Tricked Me

Learning gave me a spark - that tiny dopamine hit that says, “I’m doing something good for myself.”

But I wasn’t. I was just running in circles.

Collecting information became my comfort zone.

It made me feel in control, even when I was stuck.

And when I didn’t act on what I learned, I’d start feeling guilty.

So I’d learn more to make up for it.

That was the loop.

Curiosity → excitement → overwhelm → guilt → start again.

If you’ve ever wondered why your brain feels full but your projects feel half-finished, maybe you know that loop too.

Leave a comment

The Moment That Broke the Loop

So I tried something small.

I gave myself one hour - no videos, no reading, no input.

I called it my Trying Hour.

I decided I’d just build, write, or test something using what I already knew.

I went ahead with building AI-coded apps.

Even if it sucked. Especially if it sucked.

It wasn’t easy.

The first few times, I wanted to quit halfway through.

“Wouldn’t it be smarter to research this first?”

But slowly, that hour changed everything.

I started trusting myself again.

Not because I suddenly became disciplined, but because I saw proof that I could act before I felt ready.

Share

The Real Lesson

Most of us don’t need more knowledge.

I feel we need more confidence and trust in ourselves.

The learning loop makes you feel prepared, but it also convinces you you’re not enough until you “know more.”

That’s the lie.

You probably already know what to do next.
You just haven’t given yourself permission to do it yet.

So try it. One hour.

No tutorials. No note-taking. No safety net. Go WILD.

[Keep setting 10 min alarms (10x6) to stay on the clock if desperately needed]

You’ll be amazed at how much you already know once you finally start doing.

Share RESET

Turns out, “starting” it was the actual problem.

Every time I sat down to work, I’d open Notion (my go-to productivity app), rearrange my dashboards, color-code my to-do list, and convince myself that this was the day I’d finally get it together.

LOL.

Hours later, nothing was actually done.

But hey, my planner looked pretty.

And for a few minutes, that was enough to quiet the guilt.

Fact is, we don’t talk about how planning can become a full-time job.

Things might look productive, but they’re not really making you any progress.

It’s just a different kind of hiding.

Why Planning Feels Safe

Planning feels good because it gives us the illusion of control.

You can’t fail at something you haven’t started, right?

For people like me with ADHD or anxious minds, that control feels like safety.

Mapping out every step, every possible problem, every potential fix, it feels like protecting yourself from chaos.

But at some point, “getting ready” becomes a comfort zone.

The more you plan, the less you trust yourself to act.

You start believing that the next app, the next layout, the next productivity method will be the one that finally makes you consistent.

But the problem isn’t the planning itself.

It’s what the planning is protecting you from:

The risk of starting imperfectly.

Subscribe now

When Structure Turns Into a Cage

It’s easy to confuse motion for momentum.

Your brain is active, your hands are busy, your screen looks full of progress.

But when you zoom out, you realize the only thing that’s moved is the cursor :)

Overplanning drains you in quiet ways.

You start each day already tired because your brain has been “working” on things it never intends to finish.

You feel productive but unsatisfied, like eating junk food that never fills you up.

And then shame creeps in.

You wonder, “Why can’t I just do the thing?”

So you make another plan, and the cycle repeats.

What Changed for Me

I tried something different.

I gave myself five minutes to plan. Set a simple timer on my Windows 11 desktop.

That’s it.

I told myself, the plan can be messy, but the start has to be real.

And something shifted.

When the pressure to “plan it perfectly” disappeared, the work actually started to flow.

It wasn’t pretty, but it was something.

I realized that I’d been waiting for clarity before starting.

But clarity only comes after you start.

Leave a comment

The RESET

Here’s what I practice now and what actually works for me:

1. Start small.
If you can’t plan the whole thing, plan the first 15 minutes.

2. Use your tools to support, not delay.
Let your systems catch your ideas, not control your day.

3. End with reflection, not redesign.
At the end of each day, ask, “What did I actually move forward?”

It’s better than rewriting your to-do list for the fifth time.

I’d suggest:

Trust yourself enough to begin before it’s perfect.

Because sometimes, the most productive thing you can do is stop preparing and start living inside your work.

Share RESET

Then, on my cool-down walk, I was thinking about these quests for getting in shape. How many people hype themselves up to start, but slide back into their old habits before they get anywhere.

Sarvam: You know, this reminds me of something I've been noticing with my creative work. In some moments, I want to stop my work and leave, and I used to think those moments of wanting to escape were just my ADHD brain being "broken" or difficult. But then I started to realize it was something else…

Klára: I actually know that tendency to escape from my creative work, too.

I feel irritated because something doesn’t flow, and I feel the urge to leave because it's so damn uncomfortable.

Sarvam: Oh, I know exactly what you mean about those moments. For me, it's like, you know, when you're working on something and your brain starts throwing every possible distraction at you?

"Maybe I should check my email.”

“Oh, I should reorganize my desk first.”

“Actually, let me just scroll Substack for some 'inspiration.'"

Klára: …check emails, click over to another tab, go eat something, or vacuum clean… Yeah, I know those.

Which reminds me of something I realized about distractions…

Have you noticed how we consider spending time on social media or watching Netflix 'bad' behaviors? How we judge those things, consider them a ‘guilty pleasure’ and feel ashamed?

But there’s nothing bad about those things.

Opening Substack intentionally to engage is completely different from opening Substack to escape the chaos of your work. Watching Netflix because you need to soothe anxiety is different from watching Netflix because you've made intentional space for inspiration.

So asking, “WHY am I reaching for my phone right now?” or “WHY am I typing netflix.com into my browser right now?” is way more valuable than slapping a judgment on it. The answer is the first step to breaking that cycle of:

discomfort → distraction → guilt → repeat.

Sarvam: Yes! This is huge. I think we've been taught to see our distractions as signs of weakness or lack of discipline. Like, "If I were just more disciplined, I wouldn't reach for my phone." But you're right, the WHY is everything.

When I catch myself opening Instagram in the middle of writing, it's usually because I hit something that feels uncertain or messy, and my brain is literally trying to get me back to something that removes the feeling of navigating the messiness. It's my nervous system trying to regulate itself.

Once I started seeing it that way, I could work with it instead of fighting it.

Klára: Same. My results started changing when I started responding to those urges differently.

Sarvam: There’s something I've noticed with my ADHD brain, and this might sound backward, but those uncomfortable moments are actually the most important ones.

I used to think something was wrong with me when I'd feel that urge to run away from my writing or a vibe coding project. Like, why can't I just sit here and create like a normal person? But I'm starting to see that discomfort differently now.

Klára: Ha ha, maybe it’s actually more normal that we can’t sit through it. But what ends up happening when we give in to the temptation to stop and leave in this exact moment is that we get stuck at a certain level…

Maybe we don’t abandon it completely. Maybe we try again… but get nowhere again. Because we always stop in the same moment. And then we end up holding this dream of achieving something that feels impossible to reach, while others can somehow have it. And we wonder why. This is why.

Sarvam: Speaking of levels, you know video games, right? I've started thinking of those moments like, you know, how in video games when you're getting close to the boss level, suddenly way more enemies start attacking you? The resistance isn't random. It shows up strongest right before the breakthrough!

Klára: You’ll only get as far in the game as you’re willing to stay in the game and persist through what’s asked of you…

Sarvam: The weird part is, every time I've stayed when I felt like leaving, even for just five more minutes, I've ended up with something I never would have found if I'd given up. It's like there's this whole other layer of creativity that only exists on the other side of wanting to quit.

Klára: What other layer of creativity?

Sarvam: It's like, okay, you know how when you're writing and everything flows easily, it feels good, but it's usually stuff you already kind of knew? That’s why it flows easily, right? The breakthrough ideas – the ones that surprise even me – they only come in the moments when I’m going somewhere I haven’t been yet, doing something I don’t know how to do yet, figuring out something I don’t know yet… those are the moments where I can get impatient and frustrated.

But if I can stay there for just a few more minutes, suddenly connections start forming that I never would have seen otherwise. So now, when I'm in the middle of writing and hit that wall where it feels messy and unclear and my brain is screaming "this is terrible, let's start something new" – that's not a sign I should quit. That's actually the sign I'm about to break through to something real, right?

Klára: That's how I learned to stay when everything in me wanted to leave. I remember the first breakthrough clearly.

I was writing a game script, drowning in notes with highlights everywhere. Chaos. Normally, I'd get up and leave. And if I returned, I’d start over because it would be too overwhelming. But this time, I noticed that urge and decided to figure it out. I calmed down, got curious, and started exploring ways to organize that chaos. And you know what? Within an hour, the script was clear and flowing.

That experience shifted how I’ve been handling those moments moving forward.

Life-changing.

Sarvam: I had this moment last month when I was working on a web app project that felt completely stuck. Everything I tried looked wrong, and I could feel that familiar itch to close the laptop and “come back to it later” (which we both know usually means never).

But instead, I just sat there with the terrible app design on my screen and asked myself, "What if this messiness is actually trying to tell me something?" I started playing with the elements that felt most wrong, not trying to fix them but just... exploring why they bothered me.

Twenty minutes later, I had something completely different than what I'd started with, and way better than anything I would have created if I'd stuck to my usual approach. That moment taught me that the discomfort isn't a bug in my creative process. It's a feature.

Klara: Oh, the “usual approach” is the reason why I have a cemetery of abandoned projects. There are so many things I started with excitement and never completed.

For years, I thought it was a bug in my wiring. That I was destined to live with this limitation. That I’m simply great at starting, but I need others to complete what I start. And then I ran into Human Design, which told me I’m here to initiate and leave the work to others… which made me feel SO seen in my struggle and relax into it even more!

Incredible.

But in fact, I just struggled with the middle part of the creative process.

Starting something new was always easier than staying in the middle. Most of my new, exciting starts weren’t even smart pivots – they were my escapes when I couldn’t figure out something in the middle. This created an endless cycle of beginnings without endings. And it was heartbreaking... having these visions of what I could create, yet not being able to create them because I kept running away.

Sarvam: We might be meant to create, but we still need to learn to be creators…

Klára: That makes me think… You know what's interesting about this for independent creators? We face a totally different challenge than people with structured jobs. I only experienced what it means when I became one.

When you work for someone else, your day is structured from the outside. Meetings appear in your calendar. Your time is divided between billable and non-billable work. And then you have a set line between work and free time. So the rhythm of your work and life is largely decided for you, and you operate within that structure. But when you're independent, that structure isn’t set for you. Which is both a luxury and a challenge.

Sarvam: Oh wow, I hadn't thought about it that way, but you're right. We usually imagine that being independent means freedom, and it’s alluring not to have someone tell you what and when to do, but can you be the person who’s not told what and when to do?....….

Klára: Exactly. We have the luxury to design our days around our energy and “do what we want”, which is incredible. You have the freedom to make it all fit you. But it's also a challenge to learn to make it fit you and make it all work. Because that same freedom means you must learn to distinguish between healthy variety (getting up and leaving to do something else) and unhealthy escape. Or you’ll get nothing

Sarvam: Like, there's a difference between intentionally switching tasks because your brain needs a refresh versus bouncing between things because you're avoiding the discomfort of deep work.

Klára: One is the productive variety, where each task or activity in your day feeds the other. The other is just avoiding.

Sarvam: So the challenge isn't eliminating variety… It's becoming aware of why we're switching tasks in the first place.

Klára: Right.

Sarvam: Alright. Here's what I'm taking from this: we're not just creating projects or building businesses or getting in shape. We're creating ourselves into the person who can do those things. And I feel those transformations only happen in the uncomfortable moments we usually try to escape.

Your brain isn't broken because it wants to run away from discomfort. It's actually trying to protect you. But sometimes protection becomes a prison. The magic happens when you can say, "Thanks, brain, I know you're trying to help, but I'm staying here for five more minutes.”

In those five minutes, that's where you become someone different than who you were before.

Klára: Exactly. If we want the results, we need to become the person who creates those results. And that becoming usually needs to happen first… before the visible thing takes shape, almost as an inevitable consequence.

This is why I believe recognizing that moment of resistance as your crossroad is so crucial. How we respond in that moment separates people who create from those who don't.

Want to succeed as a creator?

Then learn to stay:

The next time you feel that urge to run away from your work, remember THIS moment. Because THIS is the moment when you’re deciding you're going to do something different:

What feels like the perfect moment to quit is the perfect moment to pause and understand what you're experiencing.

Is it…

• Impatience? It's taking longer than expected…

• Uncertainty? Is what you’re doing even going to work, or is it wasted time…

• Overwhelm? With too many possibilities or too much information…

• Confusion? You don’t know what to do next…

• Frustration? You can’t solve the problem…

You’re not choosing what you’re experiencing, but you’re choosing what you do with it. And that choice determines where your life goes next.

Are you staying the same, or are you leveling up?

and

P.S. It would be wonderful to hear from you in the comments. Let’s meet there and continue the conversation!

Leave a comment

"Just pick one thing to focus on.”

“Find what you're good at and stick with it."

And every time you hear it, it feels icky.

Like someone's telling you to cut off parts of yourself.

Our ADHD brain works differently from other people's brains, which is why this advice feels so wrong.

If your days feel messy and you keep losing energy halfway through, I made a Creator Checklist - made for solo folks like us.

Grab Your FREE Checklist

It’ll help you pause, breathe, and bounce back without drowning in planners.

Your Brain Is Like a Curious Kid

Think about how a kid explores a playground.

They don't just use the swings the whole time.

They try the monkey bars, the slide, then they notice a cool bug, and want to climb the fence to see what's on the other side.

That's our brain.

It loves trying new things and making connections between stuff that seems totally different.

But grown-ups keep saying, "No, you have to just use the swings. Only the swings. Forever."

Why This Advice Doesn't Work for You

When people say "pick one thing," they're thinking about brains that work differently than yours.

Your interests aren't all over the place for no reason.

They actually connect to each other in cool ways.

Maybe you love drawing AND writing AND helping people feel better.

Those things can work together.

See yourself as a spider web - everything connects.

Leave a comment

What Actually Happens When You Try to Shrink Yourself

Maybe you've tried picking just one thing before.

You told yourself, "Okay, I'm only going to do photography now. Nothing else."

And then?

You probably got bored.

Or frustrated.

Or felt like you were pretending to be someone you're not.

The excitement slowly drained away.

Like trying to keep a butterfly in a jar:

It might stay alive, but it can't really fly anymore.

The Hidden Cost of Fighting Your Nature

Here's what nobody talks about:

When you force yourself to focus on just one thing, you don't just lose the other interests.

You lose the magic that happens when they mix together.

Think about chocolate chip cookies.

The chocolate is great.

The cookie dough is great.

But when you put them together?

That's when something amazing happens.

Your different interests work the same way.

Your art makes your writing better.

Your love of psychology makes your design work deeper.

Your random obsession with how plants grow might give you the perfect metaphor for a business idea.

When you try to separate them, you lose the special sauce that makes you, YOU!

Your Brain Has Superpowers (Seriously)

ADHD brains are really good at something called "divergent thinking."

That's a fancy way of saying you can see connections that other people miss.

While someone else looks at a tree and just sees a tree, you might see a tree and think about root systems, which makes you think about family connections, which gives you an idea for a story, which inspires a drawing, which leads to a new business idea.

That's your superpower.

Most people can only think in straight lines.

You think in webs, spirals, and three-dimensional shapes and can take ideas from totally different places and smoosh them together into something new.

Why Society Keeps Getting This Wrong

The world loves simple, easy-to-understand categories.

It's easier to market "the photographer" than "the person who takes pictures and writes stories and teaches people how to feel calm and also makes really good playlists."

But easy to market doesn't mean better.

It just means, easier to market.

Think about your favorite people - the ones who really inspire you.

Do they just do one thing?

Or are they interesting because they do lots of different things in their own unique way?

Here's What You Can Do Instead

You don't have to pick just one thing.

Look for the invisible thread that connects all your interests.

Maybe everything you love is about making people feel happy.

Or helping things look pretty. Or solving problems in creative ways.

That connection - that's your real "one thing."

Creating Space for All of You

Make containers for your different interests.

You can draw AND write AND teach AND sell things.

No need to “choose” between them.

Let yourself have seasons.

Maybe you focus on art for a few months, then switch to writing, then try something new.

The Truth About Success

The most interesting people in the world don't just do one thing.

They try lots of things and mix them together in new ways.

Your brain gets excited about lots of different stuff because it can see connections other people miss.

That's what makes us special.

The world needs people who can't fit into neat little boxes.

The world needs you, exactly as you are, with all your wild interests and crazy connections.

Share RESET

11:47 PM.

It's Jessica.

Her boyfriend dumped her. AGAIN.

Sarah, half-asleep, talks Jessica through it. For two hours.

She gives advice, sends motivational texts, even offers to bring ice cream tomorrow.

The next week? Same thing. Different crisis.

Sarah's mom calls her "the family therapist." Her friends say she's "such a good listener." Her coworkers love how she never gets mad when they mess up.

But here's what nobody sees: Sarah’s exhausted. She can't remember the last time someone asked how SHE was doing.

Sarah is burning out. Silently.

(I’ve used a fictional name to portray my personal situations and those I’ve seen my friends go through)

If your days feel messy and you keep losing energy halfway through, I made a Creator Checklist - made for solo folks like us.

Grab Your FREE Checklist

It’ll help you pause, breathe, and bounce back without drowning in planners.

You're Burned Out

Here's what nobody tells you:

Being the "nice one" is work. Hard work.

Especially when you tend to overthink all the ways you can help that person. You're the friend everyone calls when life sucks, or the family member who never fights back.

Everyone thinks you're super chill. But inside? You're probably screaming.

But at the same time, you don’t want to let them down.

This isn't normal tired. It’s emotional/mental burnout. It creeps up when you spend all your energy fixing other people's problems while ignoring your own.

The Hidden Signs You're Doing Too Much

You might not even know it's happening. And here's what it looks like:

• You feel guilty saying no to anyone

• Other people's bad moods instantly become your problem

• You always apologize first, even when it's not your fault

• You're angry but can't figure out why

• You're tired even after sleeping 10 hours

• You avoid conflict so much that you forgot what you actually want

• People only call you when they need something

• You feel responsible for everyone's happiness

  ---

Why This Happens (And It's Not Your Fault)

Society loves "understanding" people.

We get praised for being easy to deal with.

Adults tell us we're so mature when we don't make waves.

But you end up becoming everyone's personal therapist. For free.

Your brain learns that keeping others happy means you're safe. So it puts their needs first.

Every single time.

The problem? Your brain forgets that your needs matter too.

Plus, people get used to you always being available.

They start expecting it.

And when you can't help?

They act shocked or even mad.

The Real Cost of Being "Too Understanding"

What this does to you:

Your relationships become one-sided. People take, and take, but rarely give back.

You lose yourself. You're so busy being what others need that you forget who you actually are.

You feel invisible. Everyone sees you as the helper, not as a real person with real problems.

You get resentful. You start hating the people you're trying to help.

Your own problems get ignored. Who has time for your issues when everyone else's are "more urgent"?

Breaking Free

My definition of setting boundaries meant building walls.

That if I stopped being the “go-to person,” I’d lose everyone.

But over time, what helped me wasn’t cutting people off.

I started practicing something called micro-boundaries.

I’m referring to small, gentle shifts that gave me my energy back.

Like texting “Hey, I’m a bit busy right now, but I hope you’re okay.”

Or leaving a voice note instead of a full call.

Or simply not replying right away, and letting that be okay.

I know none of these sound “miraculous” or “extraordinary” because they aren’t.

Because I know how hard and how long it’s going to take to become the person who finally sets “micro-boundaries” without overthinking that they’re being rude.

A Non-Generic Solution That Actually Works

Here’s something that’s been in my head for a while, which finally clicked as I was writing this up.

I am going to go ahead and make a “Help Me / Hold Me” list.

It’s simple. And weirdly practical.

On one side, I wrote:

• Who can I go to when I need help: advice, clarity, guidance

• People who actually show up, not just listen to gossip

• Friends who ask how I’m doing, not just what I can do for them

On the other side, I wrote:

• Who can I go to when I just need someone to hold space

• No fixing. No pep talks. Just presence.

• People who feel safe even when I’m not at my best

Before coming up with this list, I was already (probably subconsciously) rewiring myself to stop going to the wrong people for the wrong things.

And hey, I’ve actually stopped feeling disappointed all the time.

You can try it too.

Grab a pen or open a blank note.

List them out.

Be honest and unfiltered.

The moment you know who’s truly there for you, you stop over-explaining your worth to people who never earned your softness.

You matter too.

But you no longer have to prove it by breaking yourself in half anymore.

Share

What Happens When You Start Setting Boundaries

Fair warning: some people won't like it.

They might call you selfish. They might get mad. They might even stop talking to you.

Good.

Those people were using you, not loving you.

The right people will respect your boundaries. They'll still be there when you need them. They'll start asking about YOUR life too.

Your New Life Rules

You don't have to fix everyone's problems, understand everything, or be everyone's therapist.

You can be kind without being a doormat.

You deserve friends and family who care and support YOU. And you deserve to be more than just the person who fixes everything.

I’ll see you soon,

Sarvam

Share RESET

P.S. - Which boundary feels scariest to set? Comment it below. (Sometimes the scariest ones are exactly what we need to try first.)

Leave a comment

Also, don’t forget to grab your FREE Checklist, built for solo creators like YOU - who need a soft pause, not another planner.

Grab Your FREE Checklist

Grab Your FREE Checklist

It’ll help you pause, breathe, and bounce back without drowning in planners.

I didn’t grow up with planners.

Neither did I know how to break a big task into smaller ones.

So when I started building, writing, and sharing things online, I brought that same instinct with me.

Winging it.

A browser with 17 tabs open.
Screenshots instead of folders.
Half-finished posts sitting in random apps.
Ideas scribbled in Notion and Notes.

And for a while, it was fine. Until it started feeling like I was constantly chasing clarity, I never had time to reach.

Not Lazy, Just Overwhelmed.

Here’s the thing no one tells you:

Most people aren’t “bad at organizing.”

They’re exhausted from carrying too much in their head for too long.

And if you’re someone who overthinks everything already, every undone task, every open loop, every forgotten idea, it’s not just frustrating.

It’s LOUD.

And a to-do list isn’t going to cut it.

You need your brain to stop buzzing.

Which is why some days you scroll for hours instead of starting that thing you care about.

Why your files are scattered across 10 tools.

Why finishing feels harder than starting.

But hey, it’s not because you’re incapable, but probably you’ve never been taught how to rest without guilt.

Or how to pause without everything falling apart.

I was there, for years. Clinging to the most terrible excuses, afraid I’ll lose my “self-worth”.

Leave a comment

You Don’t Need a “Perfect” System.

I tried the fancy templates and tutorials.

And I still ended up back in the same place, overwhelmed and unsure where to begin.

Turns out, the real problem wasn’t the tool.

It was the pressure to “do it right.”

The pressure to get organized perfectly before I could even allow myself to begin.

But what I actually needed was something way simpler.

Creating a Soft Space To Return To

Last month, I stopped trying to organize everything.

I opened Notion.

Titled it: “My Hub.”

I gave it three sections:

• Things I want to write about

• Things I’ve already written

• Things I want to come back to later

That’s it.

No rigid setup and no pressure to fill it all at once.

A place where my ideas could live without being perfect, my thoughts didn’t have to perform, and where I could drop things and know they’d still be there when I returned.

ADAPT

If you’ve been trying to hold everything in your mind: content ideas, deadlines, half-finished projects, inspiration that hits at 1 am, please know this:

You’re not failing.

You’re adapting.

You’ve survived a long time without systems because you had to. But maybe now, it’s safe enough to build something subtle.

Something that doesn’t feel like pressure.

Try creating one quiet corner, physical or digital, where your work can land.

No rules. No judgment. Just…land.

And then return to it when you feel ready.

For me, that’s my Notion workspace.

I used to suck at organizing things, but I ended up with the most minimalistic tool out there.

Now I run my Substack, X, and Medium, all from a single space, built up in a way that doesn’t trigger my ADHD.

And I help others do the same.

Bottom Line

You don’t need to figure out your entire creative system today.

Try one place to start.

And if your brain needs a pause button (my personal go-to checklist), this CHECKLIST is a good place to begin.

Share RESET

Building solo can get you overworked and glued to stats, real quick!

Plus, it drains your ideas & mood. Which is why I came up with a FREE checklist, built exclusively for solo creators to pause, breathe, and bounce back fast.

Grab Yours for FREE Here 👇

Grab Your FREE Checklist

I used to call myself low-maintenance.

Thought I was the calm one.

The observer.

The type who didn’t “need much.”

But now I look back and think, was that really me?

Or was that just the version of me that survived best?

Some of us didn’t grow into our personalities.

We copied them from what kept us safe.

Survival Mode Looks Like Personality Until It Doesn’t

At first, it’s easy to mistake it for who you are.

You’re the reliable one. The problem solver. The strong, independent, "I'm fine" kind of person.

You might even be high-functioning.

Crushing deadlines.

Showing up.

Smiling at the right time.

But inside? You’re numb. Tired.

Quietly panicking beneath a face that looks like peace.

I didn’t realize how much of my “personality” was actually just the armor I built.

Not because I wanted to fake it. But because I didn’t feel like I had another option.

You Get Really Good at Shrinking

There were entire chapters of my life where I didn’t ask for anything.

Not help. Not space. Not rest.

I told myself I didn’t need it.

That I was easy. Chill. Adaptable.

But I was just scared.

I was scared that if I needed too much, I'd be too much.

That if I showed up as my full self, people would get overwhelmed and walk away.

So I got smaller.

Emotionally. Socially. Spiritually.

I became easy to love because I stopped letting myself take up space.

You Stay Busy Because Silence Feels Dangerous

I thought I liked being productive.

Turns out, I just hated sitting still with my own thoughts.

Every time things got quiet, I’d start spiraling. So I filled every gap with work, conversations, scrolling, planning: anything to avoid that moment where the feelings came up.

It looked like the so-called “ambition” on the outside.

But inside? It was just me, trying to outrun my own mind.

“You’re so calm” meant “You’ve stopped feeling”

The most painful compliment I ever got was: “You’re always so calm.”

They meant it kindly. But I knew the truth.

It wasn’t calm. It was “disconnection”.

There’s a kind of stillness that comes from healing. From safety.

This wasn’t that.

This was me living outside of my body, watching life happen and pretending I was in it.

Being Liked Became a Safety Plan

People-pleasing became my strategy.

You learn to read the room, stay agreeable, and apologize before anything even goes wrong.

You become the supportive one, the dependable one, the always-available one.

And yeah…people like you.

But at some point, you start to wonder if they see you at all.

Because you’ve been performing for so long, even you forget what you’re like when no one’s watching.

You Learn to Perform Okay-ness

I didn’t realize how much I was performing “okay” until my body started calling me out.

The fatigue and the constant low-grade anxiety.

The fact that even rest didn’t feel restful.

I was doing everything right, but everything still felt wrong.

Turns out, survival mode has side effects.

Emotional and Physical.

Your body remembers everything your mind tried to power through.

So Who Are You Under the Armor?

That’s the question I’ve been sitting with.

If you strip away the coping, the perfectionism, the productivity, the fake smiles…

Who’s there?

What would their life feel like if it weren’t built around safety…but around truth?

I don’t have a neat answer. But I’m learning to stay in the discomfort long enough to find out.

And I think you can too.

Leave a comment

You’re Not Broken. You Adapted

You’re not too sensitive, too much, lazy, boring, or “bad at life.”

You just spent a long time in survival mode.

And you did what you had to do.

Now it’s safe enough to come home to yourself.

Final thought

I didn’t write this to help you become someone new.

I wanted to help you remember who you were before you had to protect yourself so much.

You don’t have to perform your personality anymore.

The real you is still in there, underneath the coping.

Waiting.

Resting.

But Ready!

Share Reset

You felt safe at some point in life, which is why you overthink.

That version of you who needed to rehearse every outcome, plan every response, and read between every line was protecting you.

And it worked…until it didn’t.

Overthinking is often a response to not feeling safe in your body.

When your surroundings don’t feel secure, emotionally or physically, your brain steps in to say:

“If I can predict what might go wrong, I can protect us from the pain.”

So you start analyzing every interaction, or you hold onto past conversations, or you search for clues that something bad might happen again.

And it becomes your comfort zone because you think it’s familiar.

That shouldn’t make you think you’re broken. Overthinking shows up because you adapted.

People might say you’re a control freak.

I say it’s just a safety protocol.

When you’ve lived through backstabbing, shame, or chaos, your brain learns to constantly prepare for the worst. Because the worst already happened once, and you didn’t see it coming.

So now you keep your guard up by replaying every conversation in the back of your head. You even second-guess your instincts and double-check if people are mad at you.
And you don’t do it because you want to, you have to, just to feel okay.

Your mind spirals when your body doesn’t feel safe to rest.

Sometimes you’ll find yourself spiraling for hours, lying in bed, but awake. You’re probably staring at your phone and going through someone’s text, but in the backend, you’re just trying to get the message just right.

Behind all that thinking is something quiet, but loud:

• Fear.

• Loneliness.

• Guilt.

• Grief.

We don’t always know how to sit with those, so we keep thinking instead.

Letting go of overthinking doesn’t mean letting go of your power.

People think they can stop overthinking by shutting down their thoughts.

But the fact is, you don’t even need to shut down your thoughts. All you need to do is drop a soft reminder to yourself that not all of them are urgent/true. Most of them are just thoughts you create in your head to “assume” how a situation turns out, or how a person reacts.

You need to let go of the sense of control you have over your thoughts, because not every “what if” deserves an answer, or not every feeling is a threat.

Protect your thoughts! By that, I mean trust that even if something unexpected happens, you'll survive and deal with it.

Here’s what helps:

• Name it when it’s happening. “I’m spiraling. And it’s okay.”

• Shift your attention to your body: drink water (me), stretch, read (me), or take three deep breaths.

• Ask: “What am I afraid might happen?”

• Remind yourself: “I don’t need to figure this out right now.”

You don’t have to logic your way out of the loop. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is pause, feel, and let your system know: We’re not in danger anymore. You’re one and the same, remember?

Let’s Recap:

• Overthinking isn’t a problem to fix. It’s just a part of you that learned to protect.

• You’re not “too much”, you were just left to manage too much, alone.

• You don’t have to overexplain to feel safe.

• You can slow down without falling apart.

• You can feel uncertain and still choose peace.

Take care of yourself.

And hey, don’t overthink this. You’re healing in a way your mind never learned how to.

Share Reset

“Everything happens for a reason.”

“Pain makes you stronger.”

“There’s a lesson in every struggle.”

But here’s something I want you to know:

You don’t have to find meaning in everything.

Some pain doesn’t help you grow, it just HURTS.

And that’s okay!

Pain Isn’t Always a Teacher

We’re told that every hard moment in life gives us a gift. A meaning.

But sometimes life just brings sadness, loss, or struggle, without any deeper meaning.

If you’ve been through something painful:

• A breakup

• A health scare

• A betrayal

• A job loss

• A period of depression

You might feel pressure to figure out the “why.”

But here’s the truth: Not everything has a clear reason.

And you don’t have to turn your pain into a lesson or a story of growth right away.

Trying To Find Meaning Too Soon Can Make Things Worse.

When something hurts, YOU need time to rest and recover.

But if you rush to “make sense” of it too quickly, you might skip over what you actually need:

• Crying

• Feeling angry

• Admitting you're tired

• Asking for support

• Resting without guilt

“EXPRESSING”.

Trying to be wise too soon can push your real emotions away.

And it’s okay if you’re not ready to explain what happened or there’s no good enough reason for it.

You don’t have to grow from every storm; sometimes, just survive it.

Not Everything Is Your Fault or Your Lesson.

One of the hardest things about pain is wondering:

“What did I do wrong?”

“What should I have learned?”

“Did I miss the message?”

But not every hard thing is your responsibility to fix or figure out.

Sometimes:

• People hurt you because of their issues.

• Bad luck happens.

• Life is unfair.

And no, it doesn’t mean you “needed” to go through it.

You’re not broken or punished. You’re human.

Healing Can Come Without A Reason

One day, the pain will fade.

You might look back and understand more. Or maybe you won’t.

Either way, you can still grow stronger.

You don’t need a big lesson to move on, nor do you need to explain your pain (again) for it to be real.

Sometimes, the most healing thing you can do is give yourself permission to feel it—and then let it go.

Let’s Recap:

• Pain doesn’t always have a purpose.

• You don’t have to learn something from everything.

• You’re allowed to just feel it, and that’s enough.

So the next time someone tells you to “find the lesson” or “look on the bright side,”
It’s okay to say:

“Not right now. I’m just letting myself feel this.”

And that, my friend, is more than enough.

Take care of yourself.

You don’t have to be wise all the time.

Most of us were taught to believe that healing needs to happen as a duo.

You and your therapist.

You and your loved one.

You and that book of yours.

We learned that closure is something someone/something else gives you:

An apology, an explanation, a clear ending, or just a moment where it all… makes sense.

But here’s the thing most people don’t tell you:

• Some people don’t know how to own their part.

• Some don’t think they’ve done anything wrong.

• And some just… disappear. No closure, no goodbye, no growth.

And if we wait for them to come back and finish the story, we stay stuck in the middle of a chapter they already closed.

Closure is not a door someone else opens. It’s one you learn to close gently—yourself.

So today, let’s UNLEARN the myth that healing needs their permission.

And let’s remember how sexy it is to choose your own ending.

Closure = Letting Go

Closure is often confused with “forgetting”. Rather, it means to loosen the grip.

You’re not trying to erase what happened.

You’re trying to stop it from replaying on loop every time something reminds you of it.

Closure means loosening your grip on the question:

Why did they do that?

And tightening your hold on this one:

What do I want to do with my pain now?

Waiting for Someone Else to Make it Right is Stupid

Here’s the hard truth:

Some people will never give you what you deserve. Not because you weren’t worth it—but because they weren’t capable. They lacked capacity.

And when you realize that, you stop looking back.

You stop hoping they’ll finally see your side.

You don’t have to carry their silence anymore.

You Can Validate Your Experience Without Their Vertical Nod

You know what happened.

You know what it did to you.

You don’t need a second opinion on your own pain.

Let this be the week you stop needing someone else to say “you were right” for you to feel right.

How to Give Yourself Closure:

A few things you can try:

🔹 Write the letter you wish they sent.

Say everything. Don’t send it. Just release it.

🔹 Name what you lost.

Clarity? Trust? A version of yourself? Accept it. It matters.

🔹 Remind yourself: you are not waiting anymore.

Write this down: I do not need someone else to end my story with peace. I give that to myself.

You don’t need their words to heal. You just need your own permission to stop bleeding from the same wound.

See you next week,

– Sarvam

Share Unlearn With Me

I thought I was hollow, numb to everything, especially in negative situations.

Turns out, I had mistaken it for calm. And now, that’s just how my body survives thrives!

The Myth We Carry

There’s this quiet belief a lot of us hold:

“If I’m calm, I must be hiding something… or worse, ignoring reality.”

That’s not true.

It’s just how we were raised and how we learned to respond to stress.

More like what the world taught us about emotions.

Calm Is Misunderstood

People often mistake calm for coldness.

For weakness. For being shut down.

We’ve been trained to believe that loud = strong.

So when you don’t overreact, they assume you’re not reacting at all.

Being calm means you’re okay even when it’s uncomfortable. You’re not avoiding reality—you’re facing it.

What Calm Actually Looks Like

• Sitting through an awkward conversation without rushing to fix it.

• Saying “I need time to think” instead of reacting on impulse.

• Not absorbing someone else’s urgency as your own.

Also, being Calm doesn’t mean you’re detached. It means your nervous system trusts you now.

Want to Practice Real Calm?

Start here this week:

🔹 Pause before you reply.
Add 10 seconds before reacting to anything emotionally charged.

🔹 Journal one calm choice daily.
Write down one time you chose calm over chaos.

🔹 Do one thing slower.
Walk. Eat. Shower. Notice what stillness feels like in your body.

Or simply…

Just BREATHE.

Three slow breaths. That’s it.

You’re Not Too Calm

You’re just no longer at war with yourself.
You’re showing up without letting the chaos dictate your choices.

And that? That’s what being okay actually feels like.

I was doing all the “right” things —

waking up early,
reading self-help,
staying productive,
chasing this shinier version of myself.

But honestly? I was exhausted.

Exhausted from pretending I was okay.
Exhausted from fixing things that weren’t broken.
Exhausted from becoming someone I didn’t even recognize.

So I did something I’d never really done before.

I paused.

And in that silence, something cracked open.

I began to unlearn.

Unlearning the pressure to be perfect.

Unlearning the guilt around resting.

Unlearning the lie that growth has to look pretty.

That’s why I started this newsletter.

Not to teach. Not to preach.

But to sit with you in the messy middle —where the real magic happens.

Here’s what you can expect from RESET

🖤 Raw reflections from my own undoing
🖤 Tiny truths I’m still unlearning
🖤 Journaling prompts and quiet what-ifs
🖤 Honest conversations — minus the fluff

And maybe, a reminder that you’re not behind.

Thanks for being here.

We begin next week!