Loss of a loved one.

Sickness and disease.

The end of a friendship.

Financial challenges leading to bankruptcy.

Addictions in many forms.

All these elements involve grief and loss.  

Our families of origin play a large role in how we have seen grief and loss modeled and processed in our upbringing. I was very much influenced by the fact that the only emotions modeled were explosive anger or silence. Grief handled healthily was inconceivable.

One would move forward, press on, and inadvertently keep their sadness and grief stuffed down; only to manifest through unhealthy behavior.  

As an adult, I would get by with busyness rather than acknowledge grief and loss because "nobody got time for that."  

But through intentionally slowing down to catch up with God in recent years, I have been able to name and acknowledge suppressed pain I have carried with me. By putting words to the pain in a lament to a spiritual director, loved ones, mentors, and a small group of men, I am breaking cycles of "stuffing down" all pain.  

Yet some of my greatest teachers in life, love, and the spiritual world come in the form of my 3 daughters, ages 6, 8, and 9.

Our family dog, Laila, a 13.5-year-old boxer, has been a constant companion and the best dog we could have hoped for.

One of the evening rituals that Laila helped us form was climbing up the stairs, even in her severely arthritic state, to enter each of our girls' rooms during bedtime stories, where she would find the comfiest spot to lie down and would fall asleep. We would then have to wake her up, and she joyfully went into the next room.

Laila has outlasted the average lifespan of a boxer, and we have made the painful decision to say goodbye. The opportunity in all this heartache is helping our girls with processing grief and loss, which is also helping mom and dad as we process together. We are teaching them life lessons that I didn't learn at their age, but in turn they are teaching us:

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• It's okay not to be okay. Sadness does not need to be fixed immediately. It is important to acknowledge the hurt, pain, and loss.

• Celebrate the memories we hold dear. Grief teaches us about what matters the most, and Laila will come up in plenty of conversations over the coming days and years.

• Don't rush to fill the void. Our tendency to replace what has been lost is part of human nature. However, it is important to linger a bit in the space that was once occupied.

• Be grateful for the time spent. Over 13.5 years, we have nothing but gratitude for Laila's life and the joy she brought us. We can hurt deeply over the loss but still be grateful for what we were given.

• Find safe people to process. Who are those people we trust with our good news, or go to for godly counsel? If you don't have those folks, pray God brings you folks who have proven trustworthy over the long haul.

• Pray through the Psalms. The psalms contain the rawness of human emotion. It is unsanitized and unfiltered emotion before God.

One of the greatest lessons I am learning in helping our girls process grief and loss is helping me to relearn how to grieve and lament.

Sadness does not have to be fixed, hurried, or hidden. In sharing these thoughts with them, I am once again learning with them.

Grief and loss can be a sanctifying process God uses to help refine us closer into the image of Jesus. It can be painful, heartbreaking, and gut-wrenching, but never wasted. God may not have caused it, but God can and will use it!

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Jesus shared, proved, and lived his inaugural address in Luke chapter 4:

• Preach good news to the poor

• Proclaim freedom to prisoners

• Recovery of sight for the blind

• Set the oppressed free

Simple. Straightforward. But easier said than done, of course.

But as Pete Scazzero points out. There is a day that the movement experienced a drastic decline. In John 6, Jesus performed one of the greatest of miracles (recorded in all four gospels), the feeding of the multitudes, which some scholars estimate at about 15,000 to 20,000 people from a little boy’s lunch, when counting men, women, and children. The miracle was so unprecedented that we are told they wanted to make Jesus king by force, so he withdrew into solitude, as was his practice.

Then the scene shifts to Jesus sending out the disciples by boat into the storm while Jesus spends time in solitude. After Jesus’ exchange with Peter and the walking-on-water narrative, the next day the crowds came looking for Jesus and the disciples. When they find Jesus in the synagogue, they aren’t in for more of the same kind of miracles, but for some difficult discipleship teaching that day.

What was the outcome? A sharp decline!

And Jesus turned to his own 12 disciples and asked if they wanted to leave too.

How many disciples deserted Jesus on that day? There’s no telling; it could’ve been hundreds or even thousands, not the type of decline you want with a life-changing mission that is only gonna last for three years on earth.

What we don’t see Jesus do is panic. Jesus doesn’t start pulling tricks out of his sleeve to keep people around. Jesus doesn’t give in to anxiety or pressure.

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But in John chapter 7, we are told his own brothers didn’t believe in him, and they were applying undue pressure on Jesus to leave Galilee and go to Judea during the Feast of the Tabernacles so that the masses could see him perform miracles and come to faith in him. They want Jesus to leave a small town for a larger venue. Jesus’ own brothers are more worried about the movement's decline than he is. They are the ones trying to impose their will onto the Son of God.

We all face pressure if we are leaders or even Christ followers. But we don’t see Jesus caving in to the will of the masses or even his close friends. What we do see is a model for responding when we’re faced with unlikely and unwelcome circumstances:

• Stay in loving union with God. Jesus’ primary focus was his relationship with the Father. Everything flowed out of this intimate time. When we neglect the interior life, we will cave to the outward pressures.

• Seek the will of God instead of others’ dreams for your life. The world is nothing short of people telling us what to do or how to live our lives. God has a plan for your life, but so does everyone else. Ask God for direction in the circumstances you face.

• Be willing to disappoint others. “Leadership is the art of disappointing people at a rate they can stand” (or absorb), as said by Ronald Heifetz and Marty Linsky. We must find peace in serving an audience of One. It may mean being misunderstood or misrepresented, but the only lasting fulfillment will be with what pleases God.

• Don’t confuse visibility with fruitfulness. Culture looks at the “influencers,” or those out in front, but it is the people behind the scenes who have prepared themselves for the quiet, slow work of God that will bear fruit over a lifetime.

• Choose faithfulness over popularity. It is easy to follow the latest trend or jump on the bandwagon of something that is not a cultural fit or in keeping with who you are and who God is calling you to become.

Joyful obedience may not look like our Western notion of success, especially when it comes to following Jesus. It will come with pain, testing, temptations, and trials. However, staying connected in loving union with God is the only way to see long-term fruitfulness. And that fruitfulness will at times not match others’ or our own expectations.

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We have billionaires trying to defy science and live forever, or at least add an extra 50 years to their lives. Rockets going to Mars. Scientists with the ability to edit DNA to prevent inherited diseases.

Older people want to look younger.

Younger people want to look older.

Heavier people want to be thinner.

Thinner people want to be heavier.

People spend thousands of dollars to achieve fulfillment through surgeries.

All the scientific, sociological, and technological breakthroughs are about exceeding human and natural limitations.

Breakthroughs come with the best of intentions, but have we ever wondered what the consequences are?

We try to be more productive, with life hacks, tricks, and tips chasing the mythical silver bullet.

We try to cram more hours into the day, more days into the week, and more work than is humanly possible, only to be rewarded with more…work.

When Limitlessness Comes to Church

I wish the vocation of pastor and the life of the church were different. It can be, but I didn’t know that for longer than I care to admit.

For years, I was caught in the trap of needing to prove myself to others. “Hold my beer” was the mantra.

I found myself pushing through God’s limits:

I said yes when I would rather have said no (Peter Scazzero coined this predicament).

I neglected sleep and relationships to be more productive.

I even worked on what were supposed to be my days off and sabbath.

I crammed more into a day than was possible, with little margin between commitments.

I pushed even when the season didn’t require it.

I was overly attached to devices and platforms to stay in constant communication so I didn’t miss anything.

I took more on my shoulders to unburden others.

The result of years of pushing left me exhausted and wanting to quit.

God Is God. I Am Not.

I thought limitations signaled weakness. Something that stood between me and the leader I wanted to be. Something to overcome. Something to push through. Something to not even acknowledge.

But somewhere along the way, I confused unfaithfulness in my calling and in my life with limitations.

By refusing limits, I was refusing my own humanity and trust in God’s steadfastness. I was never intended to meet the demands of everyone, including myself, to keep an unsustainable pace I was never designed for in the first place.

Sleep reminds me that God has everything under control without me.

Sabbath reminds me that the work of God happens in the seen and unseen with my best efforts and despite them.

Saying no reminds me that I am not cluttered with busyness, but that I have natural limitations.

My limitations remind me of the simple truth. God is God, and I am not.

Dependence on God and others reminds me I was not designed to live and lead alone.

The Gift

But diving deeper into Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Ignatian Spirituality, and spiritual discipleship has culminated in the realization that God’s gift to humanity is limitations.

Most of my life has been spent trying to defy limits. I now see limitations as God’s gift to humanity. I have to abide by natural limits.

I need sleep. I need sabbath. I need a healthy pace. I need help from others. I can’t meet every request. I can’t do it all. And in Jesus’ humanity we see him model limitations:

Limits are not the enemy. Limitations are God’s gifts of grace.

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I’ve recently spent some time in reflection over my life, family, and ministry, specifically the first half of vocational ministry as a vocational pastor.

The last 19 years in the local church (not counting other roles) have consisted of this order: a parachute-drop church plant, followed by a church adoption. Then we made a major move to another state, which led to restarting a struggling church, followed by planting a new church, which four years later led to another adoption of a struggling church. Mosaic Church will be 9 years old in September (and we started a year before launch).

The first half of ministry has been marked by speed and self-imposed expectations. And a bit of shallowness, if I’m quite honest.

I found myself running at an unsustainable pace with ministry obligations inside and outside the local church. I was productive and “successful” on the outside, but on the inside I was fatigued and unfulfilled. I got caught up “working for God” while neglecting my soul of “being with God.” At times, I cared more about the approval of congregation members, mentors, and denominational leaders than God.

I have experienced a new freedom of not having to prove myself to anyone. The repeated phrase “God is more concerned about who I’m becoming rather than what I’m doing” has finally transferred from my mind to my heart. It’s no longer a cliché. But it’s a daily reminder that my relationship with God is primary, like oxygen for the lungs.

I needed to slow down to catch up with God and adopt new rhythms. Slowing down meant unlearning principles and ministry habits I picked up along the way. As beneficial as the church growth model has been, it created a monster: bigger is better, more is better, instead of giving oneself to the slow work of God.

Our culture is obsessed with the “up and to the right” growth framework. It has fed the desire to see results faster. And to work beyond one’s capacity. It denies natural and organizational limits. When you view things only through a capitalistic, venture-growth lens, it starts to conflict with the upside-down Kingdom.

So how have I gone from striving for surface success, approval, and feeling unfilled to living my best life today?

It started with dying to myself, complete surrender, and knowing that my best efforts and intentions are only going to lead to unfulfillment.

So what has changed?

• Weekly Sabbath. I started to observe a weekly Sabbath. As Old Testament Scholar Walter Brueggemann points out, “The celebration of Sabbath is an act of both resistance and alternative.” It’s in on my weekly calendar as a commitment. But it’s also something that my family, church staff, and others know that I observe and can hold me accountable to. Fridays have become sacred, where I trust God enough not to work myself to the bone.
  

• Exercise. I have had seasons where I got in shape, stayed in shape, but then gave myself over to anxiety and became “too busy.” I have reclaimed my physical body as a temple once again. When we care for so many people and details, the last thing we are normally prioritizing is ourselves.

  
  So now, 50 pounds lighter (and 70 pounds down from my heaviest weight), I am improving my health with daily exercise, even if that means breaking away during the middle of the day for a walk or a workout. Along with sustainable healthy eating, my energy is back stronger than ever.
  

• Accountability. I meet two hours a week with a group of pastors from around the country from various denominations for a time of learning, sharing life, and hard questions. That is followed by a two-hour evening meeting with men in my church who are seeking to live more like Jesus. If you ask a group to hold you accountable, knowing they’re going to ask you about it is awfully convicting.
  

• Spiritual Direction. I meet with a spiritual director once a month. A spiritual director is a guide on the journey, helping you hear from God and pray for you and with you.
  

• Silence, Solitude, and Stillness. These are daily practices that I have learned to cultivate over time. At first, it was admittedly hard, and I would set my phone timer to get through it. But now I crave it.

Jesus has saved my life, but stillness, solitude, and silence have saved me from myself.

• Monthly Time Away. Admittedly, this has been a struggle, but since I’ve rescheduled it, I can’t give myself over to excuses. I spend the day in a local monastery or in nature. I put the electronics away to devote myself fully to God.

Do I notice a difference? Not at first. But those closest to me have pointed it out. I’m no longer in a rush. A rush to push things uphill, a rush to make decisions, and a rush to work harder, faster, and longer. But I take the time to deepen my listening in silence with God.

One of the things I’ve changed is avoiding “end justifying the means,” even if I feel there’s a change to make or a direction to take. I am trying to honor the people around me with holy processes and to trust God with the outcomes. I don’t need to take control of a situation or put it squarely on my shoulders as everything depends on me. The holy processes of listening and discernment are more important than anything else, as we trust God for the outcomes.

I want to be present with God and with people. And I would rather give myself away to those who want to be disciples of Jesus through intentional discipleship relationships than the masses.

I am not working less or working more, but I am working differently. I manage my energy, and my source comes from a deeper well.

I am claiming that the second half of my ministry will be marked by joy and leading myself to a deeper well than ever before.

At first it came out of necessity. I was bivocational as a church planter and found myself working full time in theological education. I did that for four years. But even after, I was still teaching master’s and certificate courses along with serving as a doctoral mentor. I was traveling to speak, coaching pastors, podcasting, and authoring books. All while having three small kids. Instead of simplifying, I found myself adding commitments, saying yes when I would rather say no, even if that came at the price of my mental and physical health. So I have been on a slow journey of practing God’s gift of limitations to focus on my being and, more importantly, to be in loving union with God.

I started to evaluate all my commitments, and through the lens of Ignatian spirituality, I determined what gave me consolations and desolations.

One by one, I took a pause or closed out commitments. I found freedom. However, God had more for me.

It has been 90 days since I have been off of social media (kept my Substack but haven’t written much). Others began to see a change in me long before I recognized it in myself.

1. Mental Health: My mental health has improved. I am calmer and less anxious about the latest news from people, causes, and issues.

2. Presence: I am present. My focus is on the person in front of me instead of giving in to reaching for my phone with the ding of the latest notification.

3. Ego: My striving to self-promote in any way has shifted. It is easy to masquerade what my church, family, or latest accomplishments are to get a hit of dopamine.

4. Comparison: I am comparing myself less to others. I can celebrate what God is doing in someone’s life and ministry without making it about me.

5. Self-Worth: My self-worth is not based on likes or comments; it doesn’t matter if the world knows or doesn’t know, but I serve an audience of one.

God has been taking me deeper in dying to self. It is a lifelong process. This journey has changed the way I lead, interact with others, and, more importantly, how I love God.

Will I ever pick up some of the past responsibilities? Maybe, maybe not. Will I ever go back on social media? I honestly don’t know.

But in the meantime, I am on a journey to become more like Jesus today than yesterday.

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• Adds essential nutrients (N, P, K) for plant growth

• Improves soil structure & aeration for stronger roots

• Boosts water retention to keep soil moist longer

• Feeds beneficial microbes that enrich the soil

• Builds long-term soil health by recycling organic matter

Sometimes we cause our manure, at times others do, or it happens because of our fallen world. Regardless, God wants to use the manure in our lives as Miracle-Gro to bear fruit. No pain, tear, or disappointment is wasted. God finds usefulness for all of it.

It may not be tomorrow, because manure has to age a bit, but as we continue on the journey of healing, the wounds of the past help us become wounded healers.

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And when conflict arises, you can’t defend yourself. Most of the time, out of confidentiality, spiritual responsibility, or simple integrity, you stay silent. The weight of protecting others’ stories feels like you can’t tell your own. It might mean you sit alone in silence, feeling criticized and misunderstood.

This is the other side of church hurt.

Most associate “church hurt” with congregants, and rightly so. The Church has caused and continues to cause real wounds where repentance, restitution, and healing are needed. But there’s another side of the story: the pastor, worship leader, children’s director, and administrator, those who come early and stay late, bear the weight of what it means to lead a community through brokenness and beauty.

Sometimes it’s the betrayal of someone you considered a friend. Other times, it is the slow erosion of confidence in a friendship that is shrouded in constant criticism. It might come with an anonymous note, meeting after the meeting, or communication that feels more like a breakup note.

And through the hurt and pain, there is a deeper invitation. Jesus invites us into a life marked with being misunderstood, betrayal, false accusations, and abandonment, and through it all, Jesus still chose the cross. It doesn’t excuse accountability or unhealthy people, but it reminds us that both the crucifixion and resurrection shape our calling.

The challenge for every pastor and staff member is to keep a soft heart that is guarded and not hardened by hurt. To stay open to people, even after being hurt. And to remember that the Church is imperfect but still is the bride of Christ, and Jesus hasn’t given up on his bride.

If you are carrying quiet wounds, the God who called you sees you and desires to mend your broken heart, too.

This is not the end of your story, but where grace begins again.

Three takeaways for wounded leaders

1. You can’t control the narrative, but you can guard your heart.

You may never get to tell your side of the story or have the final word, and that’s okay. Choose integrity over image and what others think.

2. Don’t isolate, find safe people

Ministry pain only grows in secrecy. The healing happens when we share with trusted and safe people. You can find that counselor, spiritual director, trusted colleague, and friend. Healing happens in community, not in isolation.

3. Let Jesus Redefine Success

Faithfulness, not applause, is what God looks for. The cross wasn’t a public relations win but an embarrassing spectacle. Your scars may become a roadmap to another person experiencing grace.

To every pastor, staff member, and ministry leader, keep showing up…with grace, love, humility, and hope. And in case nobody has told you in a while…Thank you!

Your faithfulness matters more than you know.

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Society and onlookers took notice of these early Christians. They saw a community that didn’t live in fear but, quite the contrary, one marked by boldness, radical love, and contagious holiness, and many of those observing from afar wanted in. What Rome tried to crush, God multiplied.

While the Romans thought they had stamped out the fires of revival, some embers and coals spread, were fanned, and the flames turned into a wildfire.

The Age of Persecution (30–313 AD)

The Jesus Movement in the first 3 centuries grew for many reasons:

1. The witness of martyrs: Why on earth would someone die for a fable or a falsehood unless they too experienced a transformation? The cause of Christ was worth living and dying for these martyrs, and they even forgave their torturers and executioners.

2. Aggressive affection and ministry: Christians were recognizable by their compassion towards widows, orphans, the destitute, and even their adversaries. While others deserted, they lingered.

3. Resilient communities: Small, Spirit-filled gatherings of believers provided a sense of belonging and strength, even under threat.

4. Care during plagues and crises: While people ran away during epidemics that devastated cities, Christians ran to the problem instead of running away, taking care of those who were sick in body and abandoned to die. Their love, care, and compassion spoke volumes as countless households and areas turned toward Christ.

5. The role of women and families: The period was defined by a devaluation of women, and Christianity did quite the opposite; women were treated with dignity and had influence. Many of the households saw women helping to disciple other family members after their own conversation.

6. The appeal across classes: While society had the us vs. them, the have and have-nots, the elitist, the Christian movement welcomed enslaved people, the poor, and the marginalized alongside merchants and officials—a grassroots movement of inclusivity spread.

7. A message of hope: In times of uncertainty, political violence, and short life expectancy, the promise of abundant life and resurrection gave hope to people they could not find anywhere else.

The more Rome tried to suppress the church, the more it grew, ultimately becoming an irresistible force.3

However, a drastic change occurred that took Christianity from being on the margins of society and persecuted to taking center stage in the Roman Empire with privilege and prestige.

The Shift to Christendom (313–1700s/1900s)

The Edict of Milan in 313 AD marked a significant turning point in history, lifting the religious oppression, particularly Christian persecution. And a little over a decade later, in 325 AD, Emperor Constantine had a “conversion experience,” which remains hotly debated among scholars and historians, as it led to Christianity becoming the dominant religion. By the late 4th century, under Theodosius I, Christianity was declared the official religion of the Roman Empire.

Historians often refer to this period as the beginning of Christendom (313–1700s/1900s).

Theologian J. Heathershaw defines Christendom as “a symbolic order of a theologico-political type: an imagined community centered on the partnership of church and government.”4

What the Church Gained, and What It Lost

Christianity gained unprecedented influence as the empire’s national religion. Christians could worship freely, plant and open churches, hold positions of authority, and legislate laws shaped by biblical values. On the surface, all seemed well; however, some crucial aspects were lost in the process:

• The edge of discipleship dulled. Being a “Christian” was no longer marked with a faith identity but by default became a culture that people could proclaim rather than live out.

• The prophetic voice weakened. The Church accepted the empire’s agendas without question, instead of speaking truth to power when it was warranted.

• Conversion became cultural, not personal. Whole populations and regions were declared and, in some cases, forced to become Christians, but often without repentance, discipleship, or encounter with Christ.

This was the dangerous shift, from martyrs to monarchs.

The Same Temptation Today

The story isn’t just ancient history. We have seen political movements practice the same thing over the past many decades to garner religious support, using faith as a tool to legitimize authority and rally followers.

The risk remains the same: when the church compromises its integrity in pursuit of political power, the prophetic witness is traded for cultural privilege.

What was true in the 4th century remains true today. Christianity thrives as a movement when there is a cost, courage, and holy-spirited conviction lived out, rather than being propped up by the empire.

Post-Christendom and the Global Shift

In recent decades, scholars have described our time as post-Christendom, a cultural moment in the West where Christianity no longer holds the dominant stage.

However, while Christianity has been declining in the past in places like Europe and North America, it is experiencing growth elsewhere.

According to historian Philip Jenkins in The Next Christendom5:

• In 1900, about 80% of the world’s Christians lived in Europe and North America.

• By 2000, 60% of Christians lived in the Global South (Africa, Asia, Latin America).

• By 2050, Jenkins projects that the number of Christians in Africa alone will rival or surpass that of Europe and North America combined, with Latin America and Asia also experiencing significant growth.

The church is not dying; it is moving. But that is not the end of the story!

Surprising Signs in the West

Even in the so-called “post-Christian” West, signs of renewal are breaking through.

• Gen Z and Millennials: According to surveys, Gen Z now tops the chart for church attendance in the U.S., attending almost exactly two weekends per month, more than previous generations. Millennials are also returning.6

• Bible Sales: “Bible sales increased by 22 percent in the US through the end of October 2024 compared to the year before, while total US print book sales only increased by less than 1 percent in that same time frame.7

• Revival in the U.K.: “A 2024 Bible Society report found church attendance increased by 56% in England and Wales since 2018.8

There is so much to celebrate in this new era.

Is Christianity Back?

A pastor I have come to admire from afar, who has recently addressed this in his recent Substack article, “Is Christianity Back?” Pastor explores these very dynamics. Packiam reflects on Christianity’s re-emergence in public discourse but cautions against triumphalism:

“I am hesitant because of the tone we take when we make these statements. It can feel triumphalistic, like the job is done. It can fool us into thinking that the work is to re-seat Christianity at the center of cultural power in the West rather than to make disciples of Jesus in all nations.”

“The goal is not for Christianity to be ‘back’; the goal is to discern what’s happening in our cultural moment and what that means for our mission as followers of Jesus.”

“The key task in a world after Christendom is witness... an alert church, a clear and necessary mission.”

“It’s less important if Christianity is back, and far more important that every person finds their way back home.”

Packiam’s book, “What’s A Christian Anyway: Finding Our Way in an Age of Confusion and Corruption,” addresses more and will be the basis of a Lenten sermon series we will teach and preach in 2026, using the Nicene Creed.

Neither Apostolic Age nor Christendom

Years ago, when I was sitting in a seminary chapel, the speaker declared we were living in similar times to the early church, a post-Christendom world. That has always stuck with me. Today I am not so sure. We are somewhere in between, an uncertain, liminal space. God’s Spirit is still at work and drawing people to Jesus.

I don’t believe that what is happening among younger generations and the spiritual hunger for others is due to political influence. God is at work. And the important lesson from the early church teaches us that persecution cannot stomp out the Gospel, and political power cannot define it. My prayer is that the churches across our country, which welcome new converts and returning people, will disciple them in the way of Jesus and nothing else. The Jesus-type life is not advanced by political power and empire, but rather by the Holy Spirit working through ordinary people who embody the love of Jesus to a broken and hurting world.

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In response, some Christians head in the opposite direction, toward what I call anti-nationalism. They reject any claim to national identity as a betrayal of the gospel. But the answer to Christian nationalism isn’t no nation at all. The better path is more complex and more faithful: Christ-centered citizenship.

Words matter, and how we define them can have dual significance for different people and audiences in both spiritual and political contexts. There is much debate on how to define terms. Scholars from various theological and ideological perspectives have contributed their expertise.

Conservative View

Some see Christian nationalism as a healthy integration of faith and politics. Writers like Stephen Wolfe argue the state should be ordered toward Christian values, as a bulwark against secular decline.1

Progressive View

Christian nationalism, according to some experts, represents more than public religious expression because it functions as a tool for excluding certain Christian beliefs, which leads to discrimination against immigrants, racial minorities, and non-Christian populations. Scholars like Gorski and Perry explain Christian nationalism as a combination of American identity with a specific belief that excludes those who do not share it.2

Conservative historian Thomas Kidd cautions that Christian nationalism confuses the Kingdom of God with the kingdoms of this world.3 N.T. Wright reminds us that calling Jesus “Lord” was, and still is, a political statement that relativizes every nation and flag.4

Patriotism

Reinhold Niebuhr established a distinct boundary between patriotism and nationalism when he defined patriotism as loyal service with modesty, while nationalism represents proud, self-centered devotion to a nation. Christian patriotism serves as a form of stewardship, which entails showing appreciation for our current location while working towards community growth, without idolizing our nation or blaming other nations.5

Love for Country

The simplest definition of loving one’s country means having affection for it. People experience a deep connection to their homeland through the combination of its people, places, and cultural traditions. It’s part of what Augustine called the ordo amoris, an ordered love that honors home without making it ultimate.6

The Appeal and Danger of Anti-Nationalism

Theological anti-nationalism emerges as a Christian response to nationalism because certain believers reject the combination of religious beliefs with national identity. These Christians actively oppose the blending of religious faith with national identity. Theologians Stanley Hauerwas and Bishop Will Willimon teach that Christians should identify as “resident aliens” because their heavenly citizenship takes precedence over earthly citizenship.7

Strengths

• Solidarity: Supports marginalized groups while it challenges social barriers that create exclusion.

• Kingdom-First Theology: Maintains an awareness of the worldwide church throughout its teachings.

• Prophetic Clarity: Reveals how countries throughout history have required people to worship them.

Risks

• Cultural contempt: Can lead people to abandon their cultural heritage altogether.

• Loss of gratitude: Easy to forget that God calls us to seek the welfare of the city (Jer. 29:7).

• Withdrawal: If taken too far, it can disengage one from civic life altogether.

Anti-nationalism offers valuable feedback but can become overly focused on opposing elements rather than presenting constructive alternatives. Cynicism fails to replace the need for following a path of discipleship.

The Gospel Alternative: Christ-Centered Citizenship

The way of Jesus living a cruciform life is neither participating in a power grab nor retreating to cynicism. It’s a third way that means living out our heavenly citizenship faithfully on earth. It is not about baptizing political viewpoints and parties and calling them exclusively Christian. It is about being shaped by the Cross, rather than being consumed by cultural wars.

As John Wesley put it, “The world is my parish.” I may be naïve, but it is possible to love one’s country with humility, serve with conviction, fight for justice, and follow Jesus above all else.

What the world sees of Christians hasn’t been stellar. For many people, “Christian” doesn’t evoke compassion or grace; it suggests judgment and division. Somewhere along the way, outrage has taken center stage, while love has taken a back seat. And honestly, the way some people treat others has done far more damage to the Church’s reputation than any logo ever will.

We live in an age of rage, on the road, in the grocery store checkout line, in online comment sections, and sadly, even in the pews. Add to that the weight of pastoral moral failures and scandals, and it becomes clear that, every day, Christians’ misbehavior has left a black eye on the Church's witness. “The world does not judge us by our theology, but by our conduct,” as John Stott once observed.

What Is Really Forming Us?

What is truly forming us, especially those of us who proclaim Christ? Is it CNN or Fox News, political pundits or radio talk shows? Or are we being formed by the Spirit of Jesus, whose way is love, humility, and self-control?

As Dallas Willard put it, “Discipleship is more than learning about Jesus; it is becoming like Jesus.”

Known by Love, Not by Outrage or Partisanship

The Church’s witness in the world has always been fragile, yet redeemable. Jesus said of us, his followers, that we will be known for our love, not our outrage. When our words and actions contradict the gospel we claim, we hand the world ammunition to dismiss the message of Christ.

But when we embody the fruit of the Spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, we give people a glimpse of the Kingdom. Or as one pastor has put it, “If we spend more time being discipled by cable news than by Christ, we should not be surprised when we reflect the anger of the culture rather than the love of the cross.”

3 Takeaways for Individuals and Leaders

• Return to the basics of discipleship. For us personally, it means living out the way of Jesus before we use the name of Jesus. It is giving ourselves over to be shaped by the means of grace as apprentices of Jesus, and even picking up our cross daily to follow His way. For leaders, it means creating environments that foster spiritual practices over programs and challenge congregations to be shaped by Christ more than culture.

• Practice restraint. On a personal level, I don't need your commentary for every bit of news. Don’t take the bait. Don’t feel the need to comment on every social media post that angers you. James reminds us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” For leaders, it means modeling a congruent lifestyle in both public and private, showing people what it looks like to exercise wisdom over outrage and respond thoughtfully instead of react impulsively.

• Lead with love. As individuals, we can maintain love, compassion, and grace even when disagreeing with others. The way we perceive things differently does not prevent us from showing care and respect to one another. As church leaders, there is a way we can model how healthy conflict does not need to lead to division. And that unity is that Jesus is more important than cultural disputes.

Christians misbehaving does not need to mar the image of all Christ-followers. It is not the final word. The cross shows us that God's grace remains accessible to us even after our mistakes. And the Resurrection shows us how a new life and way of living is possible. The Church’s witness can be renewed, but it starts with us. At times, we can be the answer even to our own prayers when we choose to love and live out the fruits of the Spirit in our everyday walk.

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I know everyone’s experience is different, but for me, God showed me the unresolved trauma I had and the relationships I had to shed to get to a point of healing. I was delivered immediately with a God-like epiphany. I haven’t turned back since, nor have I craved a drink.

Learning to process my feelings in a healthy way takes work; it is hard for all of us. We are a pain-averse culture that deals with unwanted emotions in socially “acceptable” ways. Pain relief can be:

• Binge-watching Netflix

• Gaming until all hours of the night

• Consumerism/shopping impulses,

• Gambling (apps make it easy)

• Overeating our emotions

• Workaholism (staying constantly busy to avoid inner pain)

• Busyness and overcommitment (the impulse to say yes so you don’t slow down)

• Phone/Device Dependence (a composition to always be on your phone)

• Social media (the dreaded doom scrolling and the emotions tied with it)

My journey has shown me it wasn’t what I was necessarily quitting but what I was willing to take on and step into. Healing is possible, and with God’s help, it takes courage, commitment, and community. Here are three lessons among many that have shaped me:

1. Name what numbs you. Identify any “acceptable” ways you have of covering and concealing pain/trauma. Confess those to God and trusted people.

2. Choose the more challenging but healthier path. Processing emotions tied to our past takes a great deal of prayer, courage, counseling, and community, which is not a quick fix, but it can lead to lasting freedom.

3. Share your story. One of the most liberating things has been sharing my story with others, as vulnerability encourages others to be open and share.

I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I know this: life on the other side of numbing is richer, deeper, and far more connected to God and others. My hope is that you’ll take one step today toward freedom, whatever that looks like for you.

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But there’s a part of the story that many missed.

The night before chapel on February 8, there was what Pastor Zach Meerkreebs calls “an unbelievably gorgeous step towards reconciliation” on campus.

Speaking on The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast, Meerkreebs described it this way:

“There was a unique experience on Asbury’s campus facilitated by the president and a pastor called the Witnessing Circle. And this Witnessing Circle was an act of racial reconciliation on campus. A pastor came and read the deeds of slave owners in Wilmore, Kentucky.

There was this moment of asking for forgiveness, receiving forgiveness that ended in this moment of worship, and the Spirit’s presence was very uniquely there. That was the night before February 8th… There was already something stirring on campus.”

A Pattern Through the Centuries

It’s a pattern we’ve seen before. Again and again, in moments of renewal, repentance and reconciliation have broken down the walls of hostility, and the Spirit has moved with fresh power.

Historical examples include (not an exhaustive list, and I’m sure I missed many):

• Moravian Revival (1727) — In 1727, a small community in Herrnhut put aside deep ethnic and class divides during a powerful time of confession. That new bond fueled a 100-year chain of prayer and a global missionary surge.

• Wesleyan Revival / Methodist Movement (1730s–1790s) — The Wesley brothers preached in fields and streets to those society ignored. They spoke against slavery, embraced freedmen as equals, and helped give rise to Black leaders, planting seeds that outlasted their lifetimes.

• First Great Awakening (1730s–1740s) — Revival swept through the American colonies. In many places, enslaved and free people stood side-by-side in worship, and some of the earliest African American preachers emerged from this movement.

• 1857–58 Prayer Revival — A prayer session at noon in New York City evolved into a widespread movement that united people from different social classes and racial backgrounds to worship together as one community.

• Azusa Street Revival (1906) — In 1906, Los Angeles, a Black holiness preacher named William Seymour led a revival that brought together people from every background in the same room, a radical sight in a segregated city.

• East African Revival (1930s–60s) — Across East Africa, enemies became brothers and sisters as they repented openly and embraced at the Lord’s Table. Their unity became a visible sign of the gospel.

• Memphis Miracle (1994) — The Memphis Miracle brought Pentecostal leaders of every background to the same table, where they repented and reorganized into one body.

• Asbury Outpouring (2023) — Students had previously met to confront racial differences and seek forgiveness together before the worship at Asbury extended into multiple days. It became the seedbed of the outpouring.

Why Reconciliation Unlocks Revival

In the words of minister and activist John M. Perkins:

“There is no institution more equipped and capable of bringing transformation to the cause of reconciliation than the church. But we have some hard work to do.”

The early church modeled this. As pastor and author Mark Vroegop notes:

“The church at Antioch wasn’t Jewish. It wasn’t Gentile. It was both... Unity in the gospel flourished in the church. Culture and ethnicity no longer separated them.”

The apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 2:14:

Revival is more than extended worship services or emotional highs. It is the Spirit healing the fractures in the Body of Christ so the world can see the power of the gospel.

Living the Dream Today

At Mosaic Church, we’re in a series called Share The Dream, learning from the life and biblical vision of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. King’s dream wasn’t only a civil rights platform; it was a kingdom vision: a reconciled church that looks like the new creation.

History demonstrates that reconciliation creates an environment for revival to occur. Before asking God to send revival, we should first ask God to heal our divisions.

Once the wall is gone, the Spirit moves freely.

Answered Prayers of the Past

While the findings are fascinating, this surge has been an answer to prayers sown by previous generations from those who have come before us. We are in the reaping of seeds others have sown in the past. Faithful grandmothers who prayed for their grandchildren, small churches that remained open, and youth leaders who worked with a few kids all play a role in this story.

Why Multigenerational Still Matters

The current situation demands that we avoid creating a divide between different age groups, while recognizing that younger voices do not replace the importance of older perspectives. There is still a desperate need for multigenerational churches that cross lines, barriers, and even life stages. We need the family of God to come together in unity, where growth and transformation can occur.

The Big Question: What Will They Find?

Gen Z and Millennials are showing up to church in “historic” ways, but what will they find when they show up? Will we have faith communities ready to offer discipleship and mentorship to walk alongside them? Will churches be prepared to provide them with leadership opportunities and real responsibilities, rather than just a token role?

So how do we step into this moment faithfully?

Three Steps Forward

1. Create Spaces of Generational Mixing

   Go beyond the silo approach of generational-segregated ministries, where serving, learning, and worshiping together can build community.

2. Mentor and Be Mentored

   Invite older believers to walk alongside younger ones and encourage Gen Z and Millennials also to share their fresh perspectives and inspire others.

3. Empower, Don’t Just Entertain

   Younger generations should be given substantial leadership roles and meaningful responsibilities, rather than participating in activities that serve as time-fillers.

The prayers of the past have opened the door. Now it’s our turn to walk through it, together, as the whole family of God.

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Cracker Barrel learned that the hard way.

It’s no secret that restaurants are struggling today, especially in a post-pandemic world, and the Southern comfort food chain was hoping to spark a turnaround with what seemed like a simple rebrand by removing its classic rocking chair mascot, Herschel, and the namesake barrel from the logo. The change sparked immediate outrage. Cracker Barrel Loyalists were upset that the new logo did not reflect the familiarity of the old one and was introduced without any warning. The old logo, to some, evoked a nostalgic feeling of warmth and home-cooked meals when times were simpler, in contrast to today’s ever-changing world.

But the problem wasn’t the redesign itself. It was that there was no story to explain it. It just simply appeared out of nowhere.

Recently, Cracker Barrel admitted that they mishandled the redesign by saying:
“We could’ve done a better job sharing who we are and who we’ll always be.”

And a few days later, under intense pressure from investors and loyal customers, they reverted to the original logo…

Cracker Barrel’s blunder highlights the types of challenges leaders in the church face today.

Change without narrative breeds resistance

Churches and, yes, even legacy brands such as Cracker Barrel hold something in common: they are emotional spaces. People connect places and spaces to personal stories, conversations, relationships, significant milestones, and even community.

People immediately start making their own assumptions when change occurs without any clear explanation.

“They don’t care about the past.”
“This isn’t my church anymore.”
“We’re just chasing trendy now.”

Someone else will tell the story if you don't. And often, it won’t be the one you intended.

Even marketing experts agree that Cracker Barrel needed a refresh. Unfortunately, all decisions leaders make in a culture of constant critique, filtered through political and cultural lenses, will not be enough to rely on sound strategy simply, but rather a straightforward narrative that invites people along for the journey.

What the Church can learn from Cracker Barrel

Church members, much like Cracker Barrel’s longtime customers, hold tightly to what is familiar; it is a natural human tendency. Leaders mistake members’ (and customers’) connection to the past as resistance to innovation. However, that’s not the whole story; in most cases, it is their relationship to identity.

But change isn’t the enemy. Unexplained change is.

Understanding People: The Diffusion of Innovation Curve

Sociologist Everett Rogers’ Diffusion of Innovation theory helps us understand how people respond to change. It breaks down adopters into five categories:

• Innovators (2.5%) – The visionaries and experimenters. Hopefully, on your leadership team. They are willing to take risks, try new ideas, and are not deterred by uncertainty.

• Early Adopters (13.5%) – Open to new ideas and are early supporters but use more caution than innovators.

• Early Majority (34%) – Deliberate a bit longer but adopt innovation and change after they see evidence of success.

• Late Majority (34%) – Initially skeptical and even resistant, but will come around either by peer pressure or necessity.

• Laggards (16%) – Highly traditional. Change feels threatening to them.

In your church or organization, you likely have all five groups. Leaders often overestimate their support for a change; I have been guilty of that myself. Thinking the majority will quickly come on board. But deep and meaningful change means leading by listening and even shepherding that middle 68%, not just announcing and moving on.

3 Takeaways from the Cracker Barrel Rebrand (for Church Leaders)

Tell the story before the change, not after.

Cracker Barrel admitted to missing the mark with the backlash because they could have explained the need for a rebrand earlier. Church leaders can learn a valuable lesson from not repeating the same mistakes, regardless of whether you are changing service times, worship styles, or even redesigning spaces. Share the why before the what, as it is essential to understanding how the vision, values, and mission are behind it.

Know the people and don’t alienate them.

The regular customers of Cracker Barrel felt neglected by the company. Churches need to be mindful of not driving away their loyal members during their pursuit of attracting new members. The objective is not to select between these two groups but to respect the past while planning for the future.

Test and adapt before going wide.

If Cracker Barrel had tested its logo with a few loyal customers, they may have predicted the emotional reaction. The Church and other organizations can do the same. Conduct beta and pilot testing with groups to create a feedback loop. Refine and tweak when needed. Listening on the front end can build trust and minimize backlash, but there is no guarantee it will entirely prevent it.

Change is a natural part of life and is necessary, regardless of whether it occurs in business, culture, or the Church. However, how we introduce change is equally important as to what we are changing in the first place. Alienation or alignment comes down to the narrative, timing, and the currency of trust.

Before launching that new ministry or initiative, changing worship styles, or making a major strategic shift, ask:

• What story are we telling?

• Who are we inviting into it?

• And how do we help our people see themselves in it?

People will become more willing to follow and participate in a new adventure when they experience being seen, heard, and valued.

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🔗 Justin Hibbard – Why Catholic?

• Instagram: @whycatholicpodcast

• Substack: https://whycatholic.substack.com

Not everyone wants the organization to grow. The truth that no one says out loud!

The Cost of Growth

Growth means more. More resources. More people. More work. It also means losing a certain level of control. Many secretly prefer “us four and no more,” because it’s comfortable. We know everyone’s name. We know what’s going on. We feel in control.

But growth also demands that leaders step out of silos, break old patterns, and collaborate. And that’s messy.

Choosing Egypt Over the Promised Land

A mentor once told me, “If you put vision up for a vote, people will choose to go back to Egypt every time.” Even if Egypt means decline—or death—because Egypt is familiar. The unknown, even when it’s better, feels scary.

A Sign We’ve Lost the Mission

The truth is, constant risk aversion is one of the clearest signs an organization has become self-centered. It’s a sign we’re more concerned with preserving what we have than pursuing the people we’re here for.

As the writer of Hebrews reminds us:

“We are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.” (Hebrews 10:39)

Jesus calls us forward. To step out of the boat. Comfort calls us back.

Only one of those leads to life.

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Brooks teaches the most popular (and perpetually waitlisted) course at Harvard Business School. The surprising topic? Happiness. Not finance, not management theory….happiness. And in his research, he explores a sobering but ultimately freeing truth: what makes you successful early in life won’t necessarily keep you successful later in life.

Two Kinds of Intelligence

Brooks taps into decades of psychological research to explain a shift we all face:

Fluid Intelligence is your quick-thinking, fast-learning ability. It powers innovation and mental agility, and peaks in your late 20s to early 30s.

Crystallized Intelligence is your deep well of experience, the wisdom, pattern recognition, and insight you build over time. It keeps growing, often into your 60s and beyond.

The problem? Most people try to keep competing with fluid intelligence long after it’s faded. When it gets harder to learn fast or think on the fly, we assume we’re slipping. But we’re not. We’re just trying to play a new game by the old rules and losing because of it.

The Pivot

People who age well and have a track record of success in their career and calling make a purposeful transition: They transition from being innovators to becoming mentors, teachers, and synthesizers, from pursuing the next “big idea” to developing and sharing knowledge to help others grow in their development.

This is why so many high achievers hit a wall in midlife. It’s not that they’re done, it’s that they need to work differently.

The Good News in the Data

Emotional intelligence and judgment often increase well into our 50s, 60s, and 70s. Nobel-winning economist Daniel Kahneman found that life satisfaction tends to rise again after 50, part of what researchers call the “happiness U-curve.”

Some of history’s most iconic work came late in life:

• Grandma Moses started painting seriously in her late 70s.

• Frank Lloyd Wright designed the Guggenheim at 76.

• John Wesley was still preaching into his late 80s.

A Spiritual Layer

“Wisdom is with the aged, and understanding in length of days.” – Job 12:12

We live in a world that chases youth, quick wins, bold claims, and whoever can shout the loudest.

But in Scripture, it’s the older voices that carry the most weight.

The ones who’ve been through some things.

Who’ve walked with God long enough to know what really matters.

They don’t rush to speak, they take their time and speak with depth.

They’ve seen how life unfolds, how people change, and how God stays faithful.

And when they speak, it’s not about being clever. It’s about being true.

So Are Your Best Years Behind You?

Not if you’re willing to switch curves.

Not if you stop chasing the strengths that belonged to your first act and lean into the ones that belong to your second.

The sooner we stop measuring our worth by yesterday’s yardstick, the sooner we can embrace the season we’re in and discover that it’s not a decline. It’s a different kind of ascent.

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Nathan shares the origin story of Checkpoint Church, which launched in 2020 with a vision to engage Comic-Con communities but pivoted fully online during the pandemic. Today, it thrives on platforms like Twitch and Discord, offering a unique spiritual home for three key groups: people who love Jesus, clergy seeking community, and those recovering from hurtful church experiences.

We explore how Nathan weaves faith into fandom, connecting gospel themes with video games like One Shot and anime narratives that reflect sacrifice, resurrection, and hope. He also speaks candidly about the realities of digital church planting and what it means to truly show up in online spaces.

📍 Learn more about Checkpoint Church: www.checkpointchurch.com
✍️ Follow Nathan’s reflections on faith and fandom: nerdpastornate.substack.com

You pray. You plead. You believe.
And then… nothing happens.

No miracle. No breakthrough. No rescue.
That’s exactly what happened to Mary and Martha.

Lazarus, their beloved brother, was dying, but they didn't grow hopeless because they knew who to call.

They didn’t set up an appointment with a doctor. They didn't go to the ER. They didn’t post on social media asking for prayer.

They got word to Jesus.. The same Jesus who healed strangers and multiplied fish and loaves for people He’d just met. Surely, He would rush to the side of His dear friend.

But John 11 says something unsettling:

“When he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days.” (John 11:6)

Two more days?

By the time Jesus arrived, Lazarus wasn’t just sick. He was dead. Four days dead.

When Martha saw Him, her words cut to the core:

“Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.” (John 11:21)

Translation: You didn’t show up when we needed You. You let us down.

Why would Jesus wait?

If we’re honest, that’s our question too.

Why didn’t He heal my loved one?
Why didn’t He open the door for that job?
Why didn’t He stop the betrayal, the loss, the tragedy?

Jesus’ delay wasn’t neglect. It was intentional.

He knew what they didn’t know—that resurrection was coming. But before resurrection, there was going to be disappointment. And grief. And the painful feeling of God didn’t show up for me.

The Hard Truth

Sometimes Jesus will let your expectation die, so He can raise something greater.

It’s not because He doesn’t love you.

It’s because His love is bigger than the quick answer you wanted.

But it still hurts.

You still cry.
You still wonder why.
You still feel like Martha, standing at the grave, saying, “Lord, if You had been here…”

Your Lazarus

You might be in your own Lazarus story right now.

You’ve prayed. You’ve waited.

And it feels like Jesus is late to the party, or worse, nowhere in sight.

But what if He’s not late at all?

What if He’s already setting the stage for a resurrection—one that will show His glory in a way you never saw coming?

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That changed in the most unlikely place: a movie theater. Waiting for the new Superman to start, I remembered my first-ever theater trip, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace. Looking back, it wasn’t exactly a cinematic masterpiece, but at age seven, I didn’t know the difference. What I did remember sitting there decades later was what else happened when I was seven. That was the year I showed up to school with a black eye. A memory I had hidden for decades came rushing back.

Back in the ’80s, I loved Hulk Hogan. (For the record, just the wrestling years.) I was fascinated by the way he could take a pounding, then suddenly “Hulk Up” like nothing hurt. I tried to live that way too, shrugging off pain, acting like it didn’t touch me. But that’s not healing. That’s hiding.

I’ve learned something strange as I’ve gotten older: vacations and “rest” can leave me more tired than before. Stillness leaves me alone with my thoughts, and that can be exhausting. Sometimes when someone asks, “How are you?” I don’t know what to say. Not because I feel nothing, but because I haven’t always let myself face the places that ache the most.

Dallas Willard once wrote, “God’s aim in human history is the creation of an inclusive community of loving persons, with himself included in that community as its prime sustainer and most glorious inhabitant.” You can’t be part of that kind of community without letting God into the places you’ve walled off.

If you want to get under the surface of what you carry, consider:

• Make space for solitude. Tune out the noise long enough to hear from God. Often, it’s in stillness that God surfaces what we’ve buried.

• Name the wound. What you won’t name, you can’t heal.

• Invite God in. Healing is both divine and deeply personal.

• Seek safe community. God often heals us in the presence of others.

• Release the shame. You are not what happened to you.

• Stay open. Healing is a process, not a one-time event.

Now, as a dad, I want to be the father I needed and the one my daughters love to be around. I carry a heart for kids walking through their battles.

Hurt people, hurt people. Healed people, heal people. And in Christ, we don’t have to “Hulk Up.” We can name the hurt, and trust God to heal it.

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