hi my beautiful community! welcome to your September self love practice. I was sitting with all of you in our subscriber chat, listening to what’s been coming up for you and what you are wanting to work on, and something really powerful came through.

we are all needing more time to learn how to sit with our true selves, reclaiming our identity and attention from a society that has been wired to take our attention. we are surrounded by quite a lot of noise, way too consistently. constant comparison has become the white noise in the background, telling us who to be, where we are falling short, what we need more of, who is doing better, ect ect ect. and it is affecting our ability to actually quiet the noise, and hear our own voice. our souls are craving more quality time, more ROOM and space to actually explore, to tune in to the music of your own spirit.

so this month, we are going to do something radical in a society that thrives off of our attention. we are going to turn down the noise, and turn the attention back onto our inner selves. I have created for us an incredibly special monthly syllabus, each week we will grow deeper in our self love, discover many forgotten desires, reclaim our voice and identity, and become more of our true selves.

and maybe you’ve felt this before.

you can know yourself on paper and still feel strangely disconnected from yourself in your actual life.

you know what you’re “supposed” to like. you know what makes you successful. you know what looks good, what makes sense, what other people would choose.

but somewhere underneath all of that, there can be a quieter question:

what do I actually like?
what do I actually want?
what parts of my life feel like me?
who am I when I stop performing for everyone else?

I think becoming yourself is one of the most beautiful parts of the self love journey.

not creating a brand new version of yourself.
not becoming more impressive.
not figuring out how to be the “best” version of yourself.

but slowly, lovingly, remembering who you are beneath all the noise.

that’s what September is about.

Inside September’s Self Love Practice: The Art of Becoming Yourself

over these four weeks, we’re not just going to learn more about ourselves.

we’re going to practice listening to ourselves. choosing ourselves. trusting ourselves.

and little by little, I want you to leave September feeling more familiar with the person you are and more comfortable letting your true self take up space in your life.

week one: meeting yourself again
week two: discovering what is truly yours
week three: reclaiming your voice & identity
week four: becoming more yourself

this month is going to be a little bit introspective, a little bit playful, and a little bit rebellious.

we’ll take ourselves on self discovery dates.
we’ll create personal museums of the things that make us us.
we’ll make completely uncensored desire menus.
we’ll experiment with making decisions without outside opinions.
we’ll explore the sound of our own voice.
we’ll revisit forgotten pieces of ourselves.
and by the end, we’ll create a personal rhythm for becoming more ourselves.

I want this to feel less like “working on yourself” and more like finally getting to know yourself.

practice 01 | week one: meeting yourself again

welcome my loves, to week one! I can’t even contain my excitement for you, I have such a special little week planned! the intention for this first practice is to truly just get simply curious. which is such a special act of self love, to get curious without expectation and without judgement. we are going to get really intentional and present with the activities I have planned for us, and it is going to bring so much awareness, realization, and learning about yourself and who you truly are.

✦ The Self Discovery Date

this is going to be a self love date unlike any other! it is all about discovering more of yourself.

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there have been an unusual number of times in my life where I have known it was time to leave, but I could not do it yet.

have you ever been there? maybe you’re there now.

as I sit and write this, an almost movie montage of sorts is playing in my mind. a story board of times where I have been in this moment. I see myself about 20 years old, looking into the eyes of somebody who used to treat me right, who is not anymore, and who hasn’t in a long time, and I can see the way I know it in the depths of my being, but still— I do not want to leave yet.

I see myself sitting in front of the mirror in my bedroom, crying. im having a conversation with myself, and I am begging myself to get sober. its causing me too much pain, and I know I cant do it anymore, and I cant go on this way.

but I do not want to stop yet.

I see myself in multiple moments spanning across different eras of my lifetime, sitting in front of something that no longer fits, no longer works, no longer serves me. and I remember, the battle within. the odd feeling of being somebody who is intuitive, aware, and knows it is time to go. yet also being someone with a background of traumas and patterns that makes leaving things that don’t serve me, a whole lot trickier.

I see myself as an 8 year old little girl, who just woke up from a nightmare about her parents getting divorced. looking back, it was one of my first premonition dreams. I would go on to have these types of dreams for the rest of my life, and I would have many that would let me know when something has run its course, or when there is a truth that I need to know, but have not uncovered yet.

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I remember waking up from that nightmare and running to my parents, crying, with this deep feeling inside that something was very wrong. I remember the way they comforted me, they were touched, and almost giggling at how “sweet” it was. they assured me that would never, ever happen.

I would go on to continuously sense the endings and the upheavals that were brewing just around the corner in my very own home. I would wake up with a feeling in my stomach on the days that my dad would disappear on month long drug runs, or jail time, or god knows what else. And when he would return, my little self, would make it her mission to make sure he did not leave.

because if he never got to the point of leaving,

then I would never have to get the sick feeling.

and if I never got the sick feeling,

then there was no awful truth waiting for me behind the curtain.

and if there was no awful truth waiting for me behind the curtain,

then I would not have to feel heartbroken, abandoned, let down, and afraid.

but of course, that isn’t how my story goes. I had many sick feelings, and hidden truths, and upheavals waiting for me. and this pattern became embedded in me from a young age. a pattern of being on alert for the next shoe to drop, having an expectation and awareness that people may leave at any moment, a deep fear of abandonment and betrayal, while also having a heart that was wired to fight for love and to get people to stay.

it translated to this:

if it is chaotic, difficult, and anxiety inducing — I have to work harder to keep it.

and if it hurts, breaks me, or drains me — it will hurt worse when I finally rip the bandaid.

those things aren’t true, its just the message that was woven into my brain, and most of the time my nervous system acted first.

one of the most beautiful, encouraging things about healing is this: you have the power to actually, truly heal. you are equipped with everything you need. neuroplasticity is real. you can actually take the misguided lessons, and the patterns of survival, and become consciously aware of them — and then you can heal them. you can undo them, stitch by stitch. and then you can weave a new pattern, a new belief, a new truth.

and it will actually work. and it will change your entire life. and I am living proof.

the first big move for my healing that I ever made, was cutting off my dad when I was 15 years old. there is a lot to that story, and I have left crumbs of it throughout my substack, I have another purpose of writing this for you today, but what is important to know is this — it was absolutely vital and imperative to my survival that I cut off my dad and went no contact. 11 years later, and it has completely saved my life.

it was my first moment of feeling strength from within… a sort of protective fire. a part of me that was sick of being abused, done with having the life sucked out of me. and when I met that version of me, she became a part of my self that I would have to grow into.

because I was going to go through an inner battle between what patterns my childhood embedded in me, and who I was going to become.

so these two parts of me would meet, many more times. as many times as it took, for them to integrate and become whole.

for the strong, powerful, part of me to be woven with the soft, feminine, empathetic part of me. for both aspects to enrich each other. to be protective of myself, and also to feel safe enough to feel everything that needed to come up.

this. is self love.

it is not green drinks, or pilates classes, or face masks, or bubble baths.

it is nights alone sitting with yourself, witnessing it all.

it is the moments where you see so clearly the parts of you that are wired to accept less than you deserve. and as you see them, you awaken your higher self. and you respond to yourself and you say,

“no more.”

with the softest smile, the most sincere eyes, and the biggest, best hug ever.

and you become your own best friend.

because you become the one who wants more for yourself, you become the one who believes in yourself, you become the one who protects yourself.

my life today is magnificent. every single dark night of the soul has been completely and totally worth my while. each lesson gave me the resilience, strength, practice, and ability to become much more than the hand I was dealt. every time I faced my trauma and my patterns in real life, it always felt like I was breaking beyond belief. each heartbreak and betrayal felt like a million tiny cuts, and I found myself disheveled on the floor too many times to count.

but I owe it all to the version of me who held myself in those moments, and picked myself up, and wiped my own tears, and said, “I know this hurts now, but we are going to be okay, no matter what. there is another side to this. there is a light at the end of the tunnel. we have to believe that.”

this is self love.

something in you, will save you.

something in me, saved me.

from my heart to yours,

Rhiana Meri

if this essay met you somewhere deep, my paid space is where we take these ideas one step further — real healing work through monthly self love practices, guided journal deep dives, and little invitations to come home to yourself

33 Journal Prompts for Gratitude, Joy, & Dreaming

hi my loves!

this is August’s Monthly Guided Journal Deep Dive—one of the three private letters and practices that now lives inside Lessons in Self Love each month.

these guided collections are created to help you explore one part of your inner life slowly and intentionally: moving beneath the surface, uncovering what may be shaping your experience, and understanding yourself with greater honesty and care.

our theme for August has been about feeling alive again — noticing the little sparks of joy, making room for what feels good, and remembering that your life is happening now, not someday when you’ve finally become the person you want to be.

so for this month’s journal deep dive, we’re going to slow down and pay attention to three things:

what is already here, what makes you feel alive, and what you still want to experience.

curated into 3 transformative sections: Gratitude, Joy, & Dreaming. you will leave this journaling session feeling transformed with a fresh mindset and a dose of pure joy! pair it with the rest of august’s self love practice package— you can move through it in this last week of august, and also save it to come back to in the future!

enjoy, & happy journaling!

I. GRATITUDE

Noticing what is already good.

gratitude doesn’t have to mean convincing yourself that everything is perfect. sometimes it’s simply allowing yourself to notice the small, ordinary things that make your life softer, sweeter, or more meaningful.

these prompts are an invitation to look around and recognize what you might otherwise rush past.

1. What is something about your life right now that you don’t want to take for granted?

2. What are three little things that made today better?

3. What is something ordinary in your life that you would deeply miss if it were gone?

   P.S. When you become a paid reader, here is what lands in your inbox each month:

   You’ll receive three private letters and practices every month, each supporting a different part of building a loving and trustworthy relationship with yourself:

   🌙 The Monthly Self Love Practice: helps you explore one meaningful theme through guided reflection, real life practice, self love dates, and little acts of devotion.

   📓 The Monthly Guided Journal Deep Dive: A thoughtful collection of intentional journal prompts to help you explore one part of your inner life, uncover what is beneath the surface, and understand yourself more deeply.

   🕯 The Mid-Month Return: A gentle letter from me in the middle of each month, helping you reconnect with yourself, return to the month’s practice, and begin again without shame or pressure.

   Plus seasonal Self-Love Care Packages, occasional surprise letters, and immediate access to the complete Lessons in Self Love library.

   It is a steady monthly rhythm of reflection, practice, and return—created to help you bring self-love beyond the page and into your actual life.

   You can explore everything waiting inside Lessons in Self Love here, or or join us now to unlock the remaining 24 prompts and receive the next private letter in your inbox. 💌

   unlock all 27 prompts❀

   This post has bonus content for paid subscribers. Upgrade to get full access.

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all of the journal prompt collections you know and love, from my heart to yours <3

not sure where to start?
Start with Questions You Need to Be Asking Yourself — especially if you feel like you just want a way to connect with yourself deeper. <3

Subscribe now

for when you need self love:

for deep self growth:

for when you’re becoming someone new:

for when you feel lost:

everything in between":

and if you want something you can hold in your hands...

if you’ve found comfort, inspiration, or a little bit of magic here at The Fairy & The Moon, you might love my debut guided journal, Becoming Your Own Bestfriend.

it's a soft place to land — a beautiful space for reflection, healing, and self-discovery. filled with thoughtful prompts and gentle guidance, it's designed to help you slow down, turn inward, and build a deeper relationship with yourself, one page at a time.

there’s even open journal space in the back to fill up with prompts from The Fairy & The Moon!

explore the journal!❥

our current monthly practice:

I wonder how many of us are quietly postponing our lives until we become someone we finally feel proud of.

so many of us are living inside of a waiting room of who we are meant to become, instead of being present for what is here, right now.

I've noticed that I spend a lot of time thinking about what I need to change, fix, do, become, achieve… ect. and I have noticed that many of the people around me are also thinking of the exact same thing, especially my friends (we’re all in our twenties).

it often takes an intentional extra step, to get yourself to stop and smell the roses.

its like the natural program running in our brains is wired to focus on what to do next, what to do more of, how to get to the next place.

that one runs on autopilot- it takes no effort, its just constantly going on in the background.

but what about gratitude? presence? acknowledgment of how far you have come?

now that train of thought seems to take a lot more effort — it requires awareness as well as willingness.

we have to become conscious and aware of the running loop of “more”, we have to step back and take on the seat of the observer. watching as it loops, continues, cycles, and runs on its own accord. and then we have to feed our brain a new thought. we have to actually be willing to go against the current with questions like…

well wait, what is beautiful right now?

what am I grateful for right here in this exact present moment?

I can totally theorize on the sociology and psychology of why this happens to us… I know the confusing landscape of the decade of your 20s holds a lot of responsibility for this loop, but 20-somethings aren’t the only ones who feel this way.

I witness my mom do it, and my nana, my guy friends, and even strangers I spark conversation with.

so then it also isn’t only the incessant comparison hole of social media… because nana doesn’t even know how to use the gps on her iPhone, let alone watch an instagram story.

so if it’s not only your twenties, and it also isn’t brain rot, then what is it?

I think it is the human need to feel complete.

something about being human feels incredibly vulnerable and raw. the search for comfort, belonging, success, and completion doesn’t need any permission from you for it to be running in the background.

its always there, scanning your reality and environment, your choices and options, your relationships, ect. its looking for ways to fill this large void from within, that needs to feel fulfilled, and complete.

but it needs your help.

your inner self needs your help.

to be reminded that comfort does not come from any one thing, completion is not something you mark off on a list of to-do’s, there is no grand moment of success that will stop this feeling from deep within.

what brings us all together, is that in some way, shape, or form, we are all looking for this comfort. and everybody does it differently. some people thrive on helping and saving others, finding themselves drained and lost in the whirlpool of other people’s psyches. some people find their bandaid in working, burying their heads in the sand of chasing success and productivity. some people find the temporary healing balm in casinos, bars, and clubs— letting hits of hedonism muffle the incessant need of the deep void within.

the true goal is to move towards turning this awareness into a new pattern of thinking that actually integrates and becomes apart of your daily life.

and the more you practice this, the more you feel the relief sink into everything. you don’t stop having goals or dreams, you are able to hold them with clarity and belief in yourself and work towards them.

but through conscious self love, and turning inward through tangible ways you are able to continuously and effectively fill that void with what your soul wants the most—

you.

your soul doesn’t want bandaids it wants you.

from my heart to yours,

Rhiana Meri

you can practice this work with me, and our community in the paid portion of my substack, Lessons in Self Love. this month our theme is “feeling alive again” and it is all about moving through burnout and back into joy, confidence, and inspiration. I built the practice to effectively guide you through coming back to the present moment, dusting off, reconnecting with what you are truly grateful for right now, and making your way towards a new relationship with growing, achieving dreams, and making your goals happen.

I really think august is the most perfect time to do this work. its soft, gentle, and a game changer for your mind body and soul.

every month I take our community through a different theme around self growth, self love, healing, and mindfulness. I bring you a comprehensive practice at the beginning of the month, meet you with a letter in the middle, and close you out with a deep dive journaling practice. its pure magic!!

if you’re curious to join, you can do so here. and if you’re already a member, thank you from the bottom of my heart, your presence in this space truly means the world.

✧join lessons in self love✧

you can check out the august post here:

p.s. im an AUTHOR!...

if you’ve found comfort, inspiration, or a little bit of magic here at The Fairy & The Moon, you might love my debut guided journal, Becoming Your Own Bestfriend.

It's a soft place to land — a beautiful space for reflection, healing, and self-discovery. Filled with thoughtful prompts and gentle guidance, it's designed to help you slow down, turn inward, and build a deeper relationship with yourself, one page at a time.

explore the journal!❥

hello beautiful people!

somehow it’s already time for our mid month self love check-in!! how are you doing?? take a moment to sink in to the moment, as you sit to read this post. take a few full, rounded out deep breaths. how does your body feel? how is your mind? we’re gonna have a guided pause moment together,

this month, as a community here on the fairy & the moon, we’ve been focusing on finding our spark again, feeling alive, and reclaiming joy even in the mundane. this has been the theme of our August Monthly Self Love Practice:

if you’ve been moving along with us, then we are halfway through!!! eek. in this letter I want to reflect with you on my own experience so far. then, I have the most precious little mid month check in journaling ritual with an art journal spread + journal prompts! and a lil’ welcome into the last 2 weeks of our practice!

week one: remember when you wanted what you currently have

week two: truly enjoy what is right in front of you

week three: dream from a foundation of gratitude

week four: create a weekly rhythm of receiving and becoming

and p.s. don’t forget: its never ever too late to begin! I build out each monthly practice with an intentional framework that allows for you to take it at your own pace, in your own time. you can do the whole practice in a couple of days, or take it extra slow week by week. and all the practices are always available in the archive for my paid subscribers, so that in the future the month really doesn’t matter, just go ahead and do the theme thats speaking to you, whenever you please!

let’s check in together!

leave a comment on the post letting me know how the themes of remembering when you wanted what you currently have, and truly enjoying what is right in front of you has touched your heart and mind!

Leave a comment

to the journal ritual (this one is an artsy spread so get your colorful pens ready!) and a loving, personal letter from me…

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I had a childhood that was equal parts magical and beautiful, but also dark and chaotic. its an interesting dichotomy to sit with, because there are as many fond, precious, memories as there are painful, gut-wrenching, traumatic memories.

In my childhood, magic and wonder and whimsy abounded in great proportions. I was always swept up by deep, joyful, feminine women. my nana would sing songs about fairies to me out in her yard, my mama’s best friends would take me on excursions to try on heels and get my ears pierced, I was in plays from a young age— surrounded by creativity and making magic happen. my mama was definitely my nana’s daughter, and she had (and still has) an impressive, innate ability to pull love, whimsy, and wonder, out of the darkest days.

my mom would always take paper, and cut it into hearts. she would write meaningful notes in colorful felt pen, in her signature cursive, and stick it into my lunch.

she found time to do this between the hours of being consistently, and horrifically abused by my father.

my mom would cook the most beautiful home cooked meals, taking unlikely ingredients and making the type of food that you forever try to recreate in your own adulthood.

somehow she did this, even through financial abuse from my father that left her with nothing to spare.

my mom would always wake us up on time, with croissants or breakfast sandwiches, with a soft voice, and a sweet welcome into the day.

somehow she did this without fail—after sleepless nights, staying up with my drugged out, psychotic dad.

nobody told me these things— I just witnessed them.

I could hear from the safety of my polkadot and pink themed room, my dad screaming and crying. I watched him run around the house in a psychotic break, refusing to go to rehab. I was there, when the cops stopped him because he had stolen someone’s handicap card. I was there, in the backseat, when he drove blacked out to pick up drugs. I was there, in the bed, when he would come in quietly late at night.

And I was there, the next morning, for my mom’s freshly squeezed orange juice, warm hugs, and lunches packed with heart notes.

and its interesting, because neither realities were ever truly overshadowed. the efforts of the healthy, truly-good hearted adults around me, absolutely did sink in. they made their way into my nervous system like a balm to the trauma I would one day have no choice but to face.

this is not a story of adults who swept things under the rug, and kept up appearances.

the darkness in that very same childhood of mine was sinister, secretive, and bread on lies. it was manipulative, and intelligent, calculated, and covert.

it crawled through small corners, taking what it wanted, before the sun came up.

and it continued to exist, thrive, and fester, utilizing the empathy and sincerity in everybody else.

the empathy was true, the sincerity was true, the good-natured-hearts, were true. everything else— was mold that had an unprecedented ability to convince you it was still safe to eat.

—

when you live in two distinct realities, a day will come, when you are asked to sit with them in their entirety.

and for me, I was twenty years old, when every truth, every secret, every single thing, came up to the forefront of my consciousness.

it wasn’t so much that I was ready, as much as it was that I chose to be ready. a fierce bravery came from within me, and I thought of the little girl within me, who was abused by way of lies and deceit, and a fierce protection rose up from deep inside of me.

and I knew, that the most powerful, live saving, transformative thing that I could do, was to bring the truth right into the light.

and I faced it all, right then and there.

and then I broke.

I broke for two years.

into a bunch of tiny little pieces.

I unraveled at the seams.

I lost everything I thought I knew, the rug pulled from underneath my feet, my sense of safety completely shattered, my nervous system deteriorated, my physical health in shambles.

and I wept, and broke, and shattered in my nana’s bed.

and she sang me songs about fairies.

and she looked me in the eyes, and she said, I believe you.

and I shook in a newfound chronic terror, in my moms arms.

and she hugged me tight.

and she looked me in the eyes, and she said, I love you.

and I processed, and unraveled, with my beautiful therapist.

and she gave me tools for healing.

and she looked me in the eyes, and she said, I see you.

and in the very same way I made it through my childhood— the empathy, wisdom, and safety around me, seeped in.

in acted like a balm to the trauma, and although nothing seemed to change day-to-day, I was on my way to one day being able to sit here with you, and tell you the story from the light at the end of the tunnel.

the only difference this time? the dichotomy was no longer split. it had come back together, because of truth.

to me, this is the meaning of, “the truth will set you free”.

and I stitched myself back together at the seams, through the incredible, powerful, medicine that is truth.

and I dont live split in two worlds any longer.

I live in a world that reflects healing, empathy, health, safety, and magic.

I love you.

from my heart to yours,

Rhiana Meri

come practice feeling alive again, reclaiming whimsy, and living in truth that feels like a balm, in our August Self Love Practice.

---

Read My Book

if you’ve found comfort, inspiration, or a little bit of magic here at The Fairy & The Moon, you might love my debut guided journal, Becoming Your Own Bestfriend.

It's a soft place to land — a beautiful space for reflection, healing, and self-discovery. Filled with thoughtful prompts and gentle guidance, it's designed to help you slow down, turn inward, and build a deeper relationship with yourself, one page at a time.

explore the journal!❥

“I haven’t felt alive lately, I haven’t felt inspired, everything feels backwards, and I think I need to absolutely change my entire life to feel happy again.”

maybe thoughts like this have been running in the background of your mind during the daily mundane, or maybe its come to the forefront and you’ve found yourself curled in a ball, crying from the buildup of stress and dissatisfaction.

when I sit with this feeling, the first thing I notice is that I have honestly had it more times than I can count, and the proof of it lives in my journals. it’s almost like amnesia of all the times before washes over me, and I seemingly forget that I have made it through this feeling, just as many times as I have had it.

there are two parts to the feeling of being lost and dissatisfied— the first part is that a very real motivation is beginning to bloom, a necessary fire from the depths of your being beginning to kindle and grow.

the second part is a feeling of defeat— and it begins to manifest like water putting out the blooming flame of motivation. it takes over, and before you know it you are trapped, drowning in the depths of water. there’s a flailing, a fight, and an exhaustion. a sense of defeat that repeats over and over, “there is no easy way to fix this, and giving up is starting to sound real, real nice.”

it also says this: “if I want to feel any better, I will have to change absolutely everything. and I have no idea where to begin or how to do it”

but this second part is a lie, its a distraction, and its a self protecting mechanism.

the truth is this: change is blooming within you, and it actually wants to come in softly, it actually wants to simply invite you into a new reality.

but the ego loves comfort, it wants to keep you safe, and it sees change as a threat.

so the moment an inkling of motivation to change comes, it gets dismissed by the heavy and deep waters of fear.

and in that space, there is no action, there is no movement, there is no transformation.

the self love work here is about getting quiet, slow, and gentle.

and deciding to pause, and making room to tune in. we have to begin with asking ourself very simple questions, moving ourselves towards finally being able to see what little change of direction is tapping on our soul, and cultivating the self love and mindfulness to take steps towards that thing.

so instead of asking, “How do I change my entire life?”

try asking:

What am I actually craving more of right now?

Where in my life do I feel the smallest spark of curiosity, excitement, or desire?

What is one tiny thing I could move toward without needing to have the entire path figured out?

you don’t need to answer these perfectly. you don’t even need to know what they mean yet.

the point is simply to begin listening.

because underneath the overwhelming thought of I need to change everything is usually something much smaller, quieter, and much more specific.

a part of you knows what it wants.

It just hasn’t been given enough silence to speak.

it can be incredibly confusing navigating the emotions that crop up when change is about to begin.

but the confusion isn’t necessarily a lack of clarity. sometimes it’s just simply what happens when too many emotions are speaking at once.

and this is why understanding our emotional landscapes is so powerful and transformative. it becomes like a repertoire of maps to the layers of feelings that happen all the time, simply by being human.

taking time to sit with, truly look at, and understand what is going on in each of those layers, leads to so much more deep peace and relief.

and luckily I’ve got a few maps for you (wink)

because here is what I really want you to know:

and learning how to tell the difference is a practice.

working through this takes presence and willingness, and it is exactly what we are doing in Lessons in Self Love this August: Feeling Alive Again.

each month I take my paid community through a new self love practice, a workshop of sorts, with three deep-dive lessons designed to help you practice the real work with what you’re actually feeling, begin to understand yourself much more deeply, and practice creating change from a feeling of self trust rather than panic— reaching new kinds of freedom and relief.

this month, we’re working with the space between “something has to change” and “I have no idea what to do”

we are learning how to listen for what’s actually asking to change, separating intuition from overwhelm, reconnecting with desire and inspiration, and begin moving toward a life that feels like your own again.

If you’ve been feeling stuck, uninspired, restless, or like you need to blow up your entire life just to feel something again, this month’s practice was made for you.

you can join our community this month and work through our August practice with so many like-minded individuals who are experiencing these feelings just like you are, and asking many of the same questions.

Begin Feeling Alive Again

a little offering from my heart...

if you’ve found comfort, inspiration, or a little bit of magic here at The Fairy & The Moon, you might love my debut guided journal, Becoming Your Own Bestfriend.

It's a soft place to land — a beautiful space for reflection, healing, and self-discovery. Filled with thoughtful prompts and gentle guidance, it's designed to help you slow down, turn inward, and build a deeper relationship with yourself, one page at a time.

explore the journal!❥

hi my lovely community! welcome to your august self love practice. i spoke to a number of you in our subscriber chat, and so many people voted for the theme of “feeling alive again” and I cant say I wasn’t super excited… because that’s exactly the theme that I have been moving through myself, and I would love nothing more than for us all to do it together.

as I sat with this topic, I began to think a lot about the sort of mindsets that bring us to this place of disconnection, burnout, and boredom. it often starts as disappointment regarding the mundane, the kinds that feel righteous. we begin to cling on to these negative notions, and we walk our way into a fully-developed glass half empty mindset. suddenly, we are looking around at our daily life and we have completely forgotten the art of romanticizing. all we see is what is wrong, what is not enough, what is missing, what is empty.

and instead of feeling truly inspired or invigorated or motivated, we find ourselves doomscrolling, taking a look at the lives of people who seemingly have what we think we are missing. we find ourselves daydreaming about a different life not out of a grounded practice of manifestation, but from a place of wanting to be anywhere else but here.

and because so much of our mental energy is going to wishing, hoping, and imagining a different “better” reality, we are actually stuck. we aren’t moving. we aren’t taking action. we aren’t believing in ourselves. we are just sitting, stuck in the quicksand, letting it take us deeper and deeper and deeper.

but what if we could transform this? what if we could take these feelings, because they are valid and they do matter, but instead of mixing it with apathy, comparison, dread, and doom — we make a new recipe. one with equal parts gratitude, self esteem, passion, and vision.

what if we took this energy and decided that we were going to romanticize the right now. that we were going to remember the beauty of what is here and now, that we would begin to notice the way the sunlight hits the bedroom again, and that we would pair this with true, grounded, inspiration and action.

welcome to your “Feeling Alive Again” self love practice. we are going to do a number of special practices together, all curated to bring us to a brand new place, but rooted in gratitude, awareness, and mindfulness.

Inside August’s Self Love Practice: Feeling Alive Again

over the next four weeks, we are going to move through four curated & interwoven practices. my hope is that by the end you will have a fresh out look on life, a resurgence of gratitude, and a glowing spark of inspiration.

there will be reflections from me, journal exercises, full routines of self love practices, mindset shifts, and real life action steps.

week one: remember when you wanted what you currently have

week two: truly enjoy what is right in front of you

week three: dream from a foundation of gratitude

week four: create a weekly rhythm of receiving and becoming

hi lessons in self love crew!

before you begin, I invite you to save this post somewhere you can easily return to it.

I crafted this practice to have structure as well as ample room to flow.

consider choosing one quiet moment each week, maybe a sunday morning or a solo evening to read over the coming week’s section <3

I love you!!!

practice 01 | week one: remember when you wanted what you currently have?

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whether you have been here since the beginning, or arrived sometime last week, or this is your first time reading a letter from me, I want to give you the biggest hug ever, and hand you a warm cup of tea.

somehow there is 20,000 of you???? like what? I need us all in a little cozy room somehow, with fluffy blankets, snacks, and deep conversations.

im Rhiana Meri, the writer and the heart behind The Fairy & The Moon, and it is near impossible to accurately describe how much joy creating this little cozy world on the corner of the internet brings me.

it is my heart’s joy to write an abundance of work that invites my readers into a true emotional journey.

so many of you often tell me how my writing leaves you feeling seen in an incredibly deep way. that it brings language to feelings you haven’t known how to name. that you leave my letters feeling understood at a whole new level, and a little lighter than you felt when you began reading.

every single time you tell me that, the motivation behind why I am truly here lights me up yet again.

the truth is that self love is an ongoing practice, and many people often feel lost, confused, and a little bit intimidated.

its the most human feeling ever— wanting to love yourself better, desiring to have a truly healthy relationship with yourself, but having no idea where to begin or how to keep going.

why this work is my heart

every single thing I do is because this work is truly my heart. its my soul. it means everything to me.

if you know me a little bit then you know that my upbringing was drenched in themes of abuse of every kind, addiction, unsafety, and chaos. healing was an absolutely non-negotiable thing for me, and my willingness to plunge into the depths of myself, and build a truly safe relationship with myself, saved my entire life. and i mean that literally.

self love has been my hardest, deepest, and most important lesson. It saved me from self abandonment, gave me back my voice, reclaimed my autonomy, and changed the way I move through the world.

I know this journey intimately, and most of the time I had no choice but to traverse it alone. I think helping people feel seen heals a part of me that never got to receive that.

I want you to feel heard, I want you to feel seen, and I want you to feel completely and totally capable of transformation that lasts.

a place to practice self love

some of you are new, and some of you have been with me for a while. either way, I want to tell you a bit about how everything works here.

my free letters are made to feel like the best, deepest, conversation with a very, very good friend. its probably late at night, on a patio, and you both are drinking wine. everything is honest and raw, at one point you cry, and at another point you are laughing with relief. something heals in you, and you feel the difference when you leave.

over the past year, I also became an author. I wrote “Becoming Your Own Best Friend: the guided journal” and I am absolutely positive I wouldn’t have made it without the love and motivation this community has brought me

explore the guided journal!

Lessons in Self Love: the deeper practice

my intention with the paid space of the Fairy & The Moon, which we lovingly call “Lessons in Self Love” is to bring the emotion and energy from the beloved free pieces, into actionable work that lasts and matters.

I never wanted to offer you beautiful words that briefly inspire you, only to leave you wondering what to do next.

I want to give you a pathway that you can depend on. a place you can go to truly practice the work of self love, to actually turn it into a reality for you that changes your life.

I worked as a self love coach for about 7 years, helping people from all over the world move through healing their inner child, breaking patterns, and reclaiming their self love and confidence. It was incredibly natural and energizing to me to act as a guiding light, to simply help others shine light on those dark spaces, and encourage them to heal it for themselves.

my entire being lights up when I make the “curriculum” for Lessons in Self Love every month. I get the opportunity to sit with myself, and think of everything that I have ever needed, and how to give it back to you. I think of your words, the struggles you’ve shared with me, the deep desires of healing that you have, and how I can weave them into 3-4 monthly letters.

your support keeps this little world alive

I want to be incredibly authentic with you about something: paid subscriptions also allow me to keep pouring into this space, dedicating more time, energy, and heart into what we’re building here.

This community matters deeply to me, and your support makes it sustainable.

so I want you to know that when you become a paid reader you are not only unlocking additional posts.

you are truly helping this work remain independent, thoughtful, intimate, possible, and alive.

you are helping to protect and pour in to a little corner of the internet that is truly devoted to tenderness, emotional honesty, healing, and the lifelong practice of coming home to ourselves.

when you naturally share, restack, comment or engage with a post of mine, you are doing SO much more than you know. every single ounce of love helps to make this space grow.

it is an honor to do work that makes me feel alive. your support means more to me than I could ever possibly express.

Join the Paid Community<3

the most magnificent part of the entire thing: you.

i had been working on building communities for many years of my life, like the true aquarian i am.

and in many ways it felt like everything i had learned, was meant to be implemented on substack.

the more this space unfolded, the more i knew i wanted The Fairy & The Moon to feel like a cozy, safe community. i wanted people to come home to this newsletter and feel like they could exhale, feel supported, understood, and connected.

through conscious writing, our subscriber chat, and offering opportunities to connect as a community, i have been able to create a safe space for over 20,000 of you. can you believe that?!

you, the reader, make everything i do feel absolutely worth it. your thoughtfullness, your presence, your kindness, and your empathy, amaze me all of the time. your comments, your messages, and everything inbetween always leave me in awe- like wow. writing as my most authentic self, has also brought me the most authentic community of humans. my gratitude is endless, but more than anything, you are my very, dear friends. it is very clear to me that those who come to my substack, are indeed kindred souls. and i feel connected to each and every one of you.

i did a reader-survey with multiple questions, and one of them was,

“How does reading The Fairy & The Moon make you feel?”

you said:

Powerful + seen

Inspired, whimsical

Relaxed! I am slowly learning about myself, with help from articles like yours.

Seen

Inspired and lightened

It makes me feel better about myself, and it’s like a safe place away from the world

2000s romcom cozy mood

Heard

very happy and calm, thank u very much <3333

Relieved And inspired

warm and excited!!

happy, at peace, and refreshed <3

More at peace 🤍

read the recent favorite free letters:

if you are new here, i hope you’ll begin with whichever free letter calls to you. there is so much waiting here for you.

and if you already feel that little spark of recognition—if you want a loving pathway for putting self love into practice, while helping this space remain alive, I would be so honored to welcome you into Lessons in Self Love.

your subscription gives you somewhere to practice.

and it gives me the ability to keep creating.

thank you for being here, for reading my words, and for making this little world possible.

from my heart to yours,

rhiana meri

Join Lessons in Self Love

or take a lil’ peek inside July’s paid curriculum:

Subscribe now

recipes for self love #1: for the anxious hearts

some days i find myself trapped in a cycle of overthinking. and in my body there is this incessant feeling like I need to fix something, and I need to fix it now. have you ever noticed that even when you do “fix the thing” its pretty inevitable that this feeling will come back?

I grew up around a lot, a lot of chaos. uncertainty was embedded in to my daily routine, survival was a mechanism I learned incredibly young. there was so much peace, gentleness, and regulation that I missed out on instilling in myself at a young age. so a lot of my adulthood has felt like a journey of reparenting, a continuous reclaiming of everything that I did not receive.

and sometimes it can feel incredibly hard. I have made it through a number of seasons— seeing the other side of a chronic panic disorder, finding love again after heartbreak, watching everything work out exactly the way it should, every single time.

I have a whole lot of proof that I am safe, and a track record that states that everything always works out, every single time.

but some days I get lost, some days the feelings of anxiety, unrest, needing to fix something, come back. sometimes the mechanism of survival mode gets re-booted. so I wanted to share with you my favorite self love practice for bringing yourself back to homeostasis, and resetting your nervous system during moments of anxiety.

welcome to Recipes for Self Love, a new occasional mini-series inside our paid space. these little recipes will arrive as surprise additions between our monthly practices, journal deep dives, and mid month returns. they’re meant to be small, digestible practices for the very real moments when you need a little extra support. paid subscribers can drop your requests for future recipes here!:

Leave a comment

our first recipe contains five incredibly gentle ingredients. pull it out whenever the anxious thoughts begin, you start to feel restless, and when your nervous system needs a reset. you can make the full version when you have an hour, or even create a tiny batch using whatever time and energy you have available!

its tried and true, and its here for you. (wink)

Read more

A Familiar Hell

i recently had an enlightening conversation with an ex of mine (a sort of kind of not really an ex- that kinda thing) — a deep conversation about our journey together. it healed something within me, and changed my perspective. we have both grown individually quite a lot since our short-lived-dumpster-fire of a time together. he was the last person i was with before i fell in love with my incredible soulmate of a boyfriend- the man i wish to marry someday. but this ex, he was so much more than just the last person before mr.right— and not in the romanticized way you may think.

we were incredibly toxic, because at our core we were two very broken people with two very sensitive hearts. the latter of which neither of us wanted to admit, or look at, or be honest about. but coming together forced us to. this excruciatingly clear mirror was held between the two of us, and it was quite an ugly sight. it was like being malnourished for years and having no access to a mirror. and then suddenly being forced to see the years of wear and tear hiding beneath the surface.

my ego was convinced that all of the healing work i had did, was done. finite. complete. in my eyes i had received my diploma on healing the childhood trauma that made me attracted to broken, emotionally unavailable, and unhealthy people.

his ego (if i may speak for him) was convinced that he had done a near perfect job at burrying the entirety of his pain as it related to love. a solution that would suffice. there was no time to work on healing, he would have to close his heart, and he figured that would be just fine.

but the closing of his heart made him disconnected, confused, and overwhelmed. somewhere inside he ached to have love and be loved, and that burden of desiring love kept slipping out like a leak you cannot seem to fix.

we both wore our coping mechanisms like the finest, most expensive botox in Beverly Hills. they were air tight, without a visible trace of botched-ness. except for with each other. every scar, every incision, was horrifically clear.

my egoic assuredness that i had healed, in turn made me vulnerable. but if i’m being honest, it also made me willfully ignorant.

i would think, “this feels eerily similar to things of the past”

but i would only dive deeper. hold on tighter.

and inevitably we crashed and burned, into a sight akin to a post-war torn country.

we crashed and burned into resentment and anger and lies and deceitfulness.

because how dare you make me look at myself.

i do not wish to change.

because the ego is terrified of change, the ego is focused on self-preservation and protection. if i continue to do what i am familiar with, i will feel safe. merely because it is familiar. and like him, some of us think, if i continue to keep my heart closed and cold, i will be safe. merely because then no one can touch it.

but also no one can open it.

if you are not willing to do something different.

needless to say, this pressure cooker of a soul-lesson changed my life. i could not shy away any longer from the broken parts of me that clinged and held to any darkness i could find. darkness was so familiar for me that it made me color blind.

but the only way to the light, would be to realize i was wired to walk towards the dark. and i’d have to become very uncomfortable, and go against the current, to pave a new path.

Subscribe now

An Unfamiliar Heaven

and because of this deep work that became prompted and asked of me, when my now boyfriend came to me, i stayed the course.

he terrified me. he absolutely freaked me the fuck out. i did not recognize his scent, he was so unbelievably unfamiliar yet familiar all at once. he was like nothing i had ever seen before. it felt like coming face to face with an alien from a distant planet.

you are… true? you are… pure? you are… healthy? you are… everything that i have always needed but did not have the map to find.

i have never seen this before, i have never tasted this before, i have never been here before.

and i am fucking terrified.

where as in the past i was never terrified— i was more like a very, very, very dumb baby animal. fueled by pheremones and undeveloped, nonexistent instinct. if anything, i was eager to run straight into the lion’s den. and i was unknowingly, uncontrollably, hell-bent on self destruction.

nobody told me that heaven will not feel familiar when all you have known is hell.

i’ve walked only with demons, and yet here before me stood an angel.

pure, and honest. integrous and true. handcrafted by God himself. wrapped and gifted to me, God’s daughter. a gift I had to wait to see. a gift that required a long walk through dark forests and treacherous territories.

a gift i had to fight for.

because when i was a little girl, the world taught me that love is unkind. that love is unsafe. that love is something you will have and then lose and then break and then beg for.

unconditional love was not given to me with purity, it was doused with the scents of hell. it was fake, it was false. it was bio-engineered chemical love. it was heroin disguised as pure, unconditional, safe, love.

but when all you know is a lie, it is damn near impossible to find out that what you have considered as truth, is in fact a lie.

and you will have to do the work of un-brainwashing yourself. of inch by inch stripping away every single molecule of false.

so thank god, for the ones that danced in hell with me.

thank god that they were dark enough that i had no choice but to see the light.

thank god.

because when i finally made it, and the light came my way, i am so blessed to say— i accepted this brand new day. and what a miracle it is, to be loved so purely, so truly, and so earnestly. and what a gift it is to in turn love loudly, and proudly, and soundly.

this story is not placed here only for the theme of love— it is about seeing our past experiences with a birds eye perspective. being able to see how who we once were, gave us the miracles and the gifts of today.

from my heart to yours,

Rhiana Meri

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a little offering from my heart...

if you’ve found comfort, inspiration, or a little bit of magic here at The Fairy & The Moon, you might love my debut guided journal, Becoming Your Own Bestfriend.

It's a soft place to land — a beautiful space for reflection, healing, and self-discovery. Filled with thoughtful prompts and gentle guidance, it's designed to help you slow down, turn inward, and build a deeper relationship with yourself, one page at a time.

explore the journal!❥

Hi my loves,

This is July’s Monthly Guided Journal Deep Dive—one of the three private letters and practices that now lives inside Lessons in Self Love each month. ♡

These guided collections are created to help you explore one part of your inner life slowly and intentionally: moving beneath the surface, uncovering what may be shaping your experience, and understanding yourself with greater honesty and care.

This month’s collection grew from my recent letter, if you don’t control your day, it will control you.

❀

through our community’s response to that letter, I realized one thing: SO many of us know exactly what it feels like to wake up already inside of a story about the day ahead.

sometimes it can feel like the moment we open our eyes, that roommate from hell has already started speaking. we become bombarded with fear based thoughts, and glass-half-empty ideas.

Today is going to be terrible.
I am already behind.
Nothing is going the way I need it to.
I cannot handle one more thing.
Everyone else is moving forward except me.

it’s like one thought turns into the next thought, and before anything has really truly happened, our minds have already decided exactly what kind of day we are going to have. and if you’re one of the people who relates to this, I imagine you are just as sick of it as I am, and just as ready to reclaim your mental space as well as your day.

now I'm just thinking… what if our morning thoughts sounded more like this:

Today still holds something beautiful.
I can always return to the present moment.
I do not know exactly how today will unfold, but I can meet it one moment at a time.
I am capable of responding to what comes.
There is always something to be grateful for.

life happens, and sometimes the journey feels incredibly extra difficult and the scenery is seemingly underwhelming and bland. and if you know me at all, then you know the last thing I preach is toxic positivity. but what I do believe in is this:

you may not control every feeling or thought that arrives, but you still have meaningful agency over what you return to, how you care for yourself, and the choices you make next.

and when you begin making an effort to create a mindset of gratitude, despite life’s ups and downs, you are giving yourself an incredible act of self love, a true act of service. our relationship with ourselves is one that we have to treat like every other relationship, we have to pour into ourselves with the same love we give to others.

are you speaking life into yourself? or are you speaking negativity over yourself?

❀

this does not mean your feelings are wrong or that you should force yourself to become positive when something genuinely hurts. your thoughts often carry important information about what you fear, need, resent, or have been holding for too long.

but a thought can contain information without becoming an instruction.

it can pass through your mind without being given the power to narrate your entire life.

a small note on the psychology behind this practice

one of the most helpful things psychology teaches us is that having a thought is not the same as proving something true.

mindfulness is not about emptying your mind or forcing difficult thoughts to disappear. it is about learning to notice what is happening inside you without immediately judging it, identifying with it, or allowing it to make every decision for you.

that small moment of awareness creates space, and it also directly helps in strengthening the relationship you have with yourself.

Instead of:

I am failing.

You begin to notice:

I am having the thought that I am failing.

the situation may not instantly change, but your relationship to the thought does. you are no longer completely inside the story… you are observing it, which gives you more freedom to decide what deserves your belief and what may need to be questioned.

there is also research behind the simple act of putting an inner experience into words. in one brain-imaging study, labeling negative emotions was associated with less activity in emotion-reactive regions of the brain and greater activity in a prefrontal region involved in regulation. in other words, naming what is happening can help create a little distance from being consumed by it.

another useful psychological tool is reappraisal: looking at a thought or situation from a more complete, accurate, or supportive perspective. this is not the same as pretending everything is wonderful. it means noticing when fear has selected only one interpretation and gently asking what else may also be true. research on cognitive reappraisal has found that changing how we interpret an emotional situation can change the way we experience and respond to it.

my deepest wish is to make concepts like these feel tangible, available, and totally do-able. i want healing, psychology, and self love to be something that everyone feels they can have. i always want to offer you heartfelt wisdom that makes the messy, unruly journey of self love feel a little less scary, & a lot more possible.

so, this concept is what we will practice, together throughout these guided prompts:

✧ noticing the thought without immediately becoming it
✧ naming the emotion or need beneath it
✧ separating facts from assumptions
✧ making room for a fuller perspective
✧ choosing a response that feels more honest, intentional, and supportive

these prompts are here to help you notice the voice shaping your days, separate your interpretations from the truth, understand what may be living underneath your current mindset, and remember that you are still allowed to participate in creating your inner world.

we’re doing it together! the beauty of guided journaling is that you get to move through deep concepts in a super comforting, accessible way.

you do not need to complete all 27 prompts at once. choose the section that feels closest to what you need today, move slowly, and let yourself answer honestly rather than perfectly or beautifully. remember, its just between you and you.

take a breath. make something warm to drink. open your journal to a fresh page.

let’s begin. ❀

inside this guided journal deep dive, we’ll move through:

✧ noticing the thoughts shaping your days
✧ separating your thoughts from the truth
✧ understanding what may be living beneath them
✧ reclaiming your inner authority
✧ choosing a more supportive inner voice
✧ closing with a reflection and little act of devotion

Part One: noticing the thoughts shaping your days

1. What thoughts have been narrating my days lately?

Write them exactly as they tend to appear, without correcting, softening, or judging them.

2. Which thought tends to appear first when I wake up?

How does that thought influence the way I enter the rest of my day?

3. How does the way I speak to myself affect what I notice, expect, and experience?

Consider what becomes more visible when your inner voice is fearful, critical, rushed, or hopeless.

Read more

Hi my loves,

Somehow, we have already reached the middle of July. Maybe you began this month feeling clear, hopeful, and ready to come home to yourself. Maybe you promised you would slow down, listen more closely to what you need, create space for yourself, or return to the practices that make you feel grounded. And then life became loud again.

This month, our focused self love practice has been about Coming Home to Yourself.

Perhaps you have been moving through this month’s practice regularly. Perhaps you opened it once and have not returned. Perhaps you saved it for the version of you who would have more time, more energy, or a quieter mind. Wherever you are, you are welcome here. This is not a progress report. There is nothing to catch up on, and there is no perfect version of this practice you were supposed to complete.

Coming home to yourself is not about never wandering away. It is about noticing when you have and learning to return without punishing yourself for leaving. So before the rest of the month moves any faster, I wanted to create a small place for us to pause. A few quiet minutes to notice where we are, what we have been needing, and how we want to care for ourselves through the rest of July.

Your Mid-Month Return Journal

I have a gift for youuuu!!! I created a super cute downloadable five-page guided journal for this check-in, filled with gentle reflection prompts, space to choose what you want the rest of the month to feel like, and a little promise to carry with you when life becomes loud again.

Inside, we will reflect on where you have stayed close to yourself this month, where you may have been leaving yourself behind, what you have been needing most lately, what coming home to yourself could look like today, and how you want to care for yourself through the rest of July.

Click here to download your journal!:

You can print the pages, write directly on them digitally, or simply use the questions as guidance in your own journal.

Read more

hi my loves!!

usually, guided practices like this live inside Lessons in Self Love for paid subscribers, but this week i wanted to open one up for free.

partly as a little gift to those of you currently moving through July’s Monthly Self-Love Practice with me:

and partly because i believe this kind of practice is so deeply important for self-love, healing, and learning how to feel safe and connected within yourself again. i wanted everyone to have access to these 7 days of slowing down, listening inward, and spending intentional time with themselves.

enjoy!! <3

coming home to yourself

this month’s theme inside Lessons in Self Love is Coming Home to Yourself, and i keep thinking about how easy it is to drift away from ourselves without realizing it.

we leave ourselves in small ways.

when we say “yes” before checking in with our own needs.
when we ignore what we feel in order to keep the peace.
when we doom scroll instead of truly resting.
when we search for comfort everywhere except within.
when we move through our days beside ourselves instead of being truly present with ourselves.

and usually, it does not happen dramatically.

it happens quietly.

one ignored feeling at a time.
one abandoned need at a time.
one overextended yes at a time.
one morning where we forget to ask ourselves how we are.
one evening where we numb instead of listening.
one season where we keep showing up for everything except our own inner world.

and then one day, we look around and realize:

i miss myself, I feel far away from myself, I feel like I need to release so much and come back to just simply being with myself.

and if that has been you lately, i want you to know there is nothing wrong with you.

you do not need to become a new person by next week.
you do not need to fix your entire life in one afternoon.
you do not need to perform self love perfectly in order to begin again.

you can just come back.

slowly.
softly.
honestly.
one small return at a time.

that is what this practice is for.

a 7-day self-love practice for anyone who has been feeling a little far away from themselves and wants a gentle way back. <3

paid members: this practice is a companion to July’s full Monthly Self-Love Practice: Coming Home to Yourself. you can use it alongside the full lesson, prompts, 60-Second Return, evening integration ritual, monthly self-love date, and affirmations already waiting for you inside Lessons in Self Love. i hope it helps you move through this month’s theme with even more softness and structure.

if you are a free reader, let this be a small glimpse into the kind of guided work we move through every month inside Lessons in Self Love.

the 7 days of coming home to yourself

each day will have:

an intention
an affirmation
journal prompts
a self love moment
and one simple practice to help you return to yourself in real life

you can move through this one day at a time, all at once, or simply return to whichever day calls to you.

move slowly, and gently, and most of all… enjoy!!

Day 1: Notice Where You Are

intention: meeting yourself honestly, without trying to fix everything

before we can come home to ourselves, we have to notice (with compassion) where we actually are.

not where we wish we were.
not where we think we should be by now.
not the version of ourselves we are trying to perform for everyone else.

just where we are, really.

sometimes this is the hardest part. it can be easier to keep rushing, keep consuming, keep distracting ourselves, keep pretending we are fine, keep moving through the day without asking too many questions. but coming home begins with the willingness to pause and say: what is actually going on inside of me? so we can finally be truly present with ourselves again. today is not about solving your whole life, it’s just about becoming willing to simply notice.

journal prompts

• how have i been feeling lately, really?

• where in my life do i feel the most disconnected from myself?

• what part of me has been asking for more attention, care, or honesty?

the self love moment

spend a few minutes today without your phone. it can be in the morning with coffee, outside in the sun, sitting on your bed, in your car before you go inside, or right before sleep. just be with yourself for a few minutes without scrolling or filling the space. take notice how it feels to be in your own presence.

the practice

→ the 3-3-3 honesty check in

find a quiet moment and take three slow breaths.

then ask yourself these three questions:

how does my body feel?

how does my mind feel?

what have i been needing but not giving myself?

after each answer, softly respond: “ah, i see.” no fixing or judging. just witnessing with empathy and compassion towards yourself..

Day 2: Notice Where You’ve Been Leaving Yourself

intention: awareness without shame

“leaving yourself” is truly not always dramatic. sometimes it looks like saying yes when your whole body means no. sometimes it looks like pretending something didn’t hurt because you don’t want to be “too much.” sometimes it looks like ignoring your own needs because someone else’s comfort feels more urgent. sometimes it looks like scrolling, distracting, overworking, or moving through the day without checking in with yourself at all.

so today is not about shaming yourself for the ways you have drifted. it is simply about noticing where you are being invited to return.

journal prompts

• where have i been saying yes when i mean no?

• where have i been ignoring my own needs, feelings, or truth?

• what tends to pull me away from myself the fastest?

the self love moment

choose one tiny moment today where you do something that puts yourself and your needs first. maybe you pause before answering a text. maybe you ask yourself what you want before making a plan. maybe you say “let me think about it” instead of immediately saying yes. maybe you close the app when you realize you are only scrolling to avoid your feelings. it does not have to be big. just choose one small moment where you prioritize your own needs.

the practice

→ the small return list

write down three small ways you tend to leave yourself.

then, beside each one, write one small way you can return to yourself.

for example:

i leave myself when i say yes too quickly.
i return by pausing before i respond.

i leave myself when i scroll instead of resting.
i return by putting my phone down for ten minutes.

i leave myself when i ignore my body’s needs.
i return by eating well, resting, or taking a shower.

keep this list somewhere you can return to this week. not as a rulebook, but as a soft reminder that you can come back at any moment.

Day 3: Listen to Your Inner Voice

intention: listening before changing

your inner voice is always speaking.

sometimes it comes through as a quiet knowing. sometimes it comes through as resistance, longing, jealousy, irritation, sadness, or the feeling that something is slightly off. and sometimes, when we have been disconnected from ourselves for a while, the only voice we can hear is the harsh one.

the pressure. the criticism. the fear. the voice that says you are behind, too much, not enough, or doing everything wrong.

today, we are not trying to force your inner voice to be perfectly kind. we are simply listening. what has it been saying lately? what has it been trying to protect you from? what has it been asking you to notice?

coming home to yourself means becoming curious about what is happening inside of you.

journal prompts

• what does my inner voice sound like lately?

• when do i feel most connected to my own inner wisdom?

• what do i think my inner self has been trying to tell me?

the self love moment

take yourself on a tiny journaling date today. it can be five minutes or an hour. light a candle, make tea, bring your journal outside, sit at a coffee shop, put on music, or use the pen you love. let the act of listening to yourself feel beautiful, not because it has to look beautiful, but because your inner world is worthy of being approached with care.

the practice

→ the inner voice check in

set a timer for seven minutes.

at the top of the page, write:

“what thoughts have been taking over my mental space lately?”

then free write. do not edit, make it pretty, or force it to be profound. just let your thoughts move onto the page. when the timer ends, read it back gently and underline one sentence that feels important.

Day 4: Practice the 60-Second Return

intention: coming back to yourself in the moment

sometimes we think self love has to be a whole ritual or a dramatic lifestyle change.

we are constantly bombarded with the perfect morning routine. the perfect journal entry. the perfect quiet hour. the perfect healed response.

but so much of healing happens in the middle of ordinary moments. in the kitchen, in the car, between texts, before bed, after a hard conversation, or in the moment we realize we are spiraling and want to come back.

this is where self love becomes real. not just in the beautiful moments, but in the tiny returns.

today’s practice is simple: sixty seconds. a pause long enough to ask, where am i right now — with myself or away from myself?

journal prompts

• what usually helps me come back to myself when i feel overwhelmed?

• what does being “with myself” feel like in my body?

• what does being “away from myself” feel like?

the self love moment

get creative and turn one typically mundane task in your day into something with a little more self love. spend longer in the shower, visualize releasing all the old energy. play your favorite music while you fold your laundry. light a candle and turn off your phone while you read. see where you can add self love into the simplest moments.

the practice

→ the 60-second return

once or twice today, pause and place one hand over your heart and one on your stomach.

ask yourself:

where am i right now — with myself or away from myself?

what am i feeling in this exact moment?

what would help me come back to myself, even slightly?

then do one small thing. take three slow breaths, unclench your jaw, soften your shoulders, step away from your phone, drink water, name the feeling, or tell yourself: “i am here.”

this is not dramatic, but it is so, so, so incredibly powerful. every time you return, you teach yourself: i am a safe place that I can always come back to.

if this practice is already helping you slow down and reconnect, this is the kind of work we move through every month inside Lessons in Self Love.

the free letters are where we begin the conversation.

the Monthly Self-Love Practice is where we slow down and actually live it — through guided prompts, rituals, practices, and small ways to return to yourself in real life.

paid subscribers receive the Monthly Self-Love Practice they can depend on each month, access to the full Lessons in Self Love archive, and special exclusive posts sprinkled in often to support your self-love, healing, journaling, and inner work.

you can join us here, explore the library, and unlock your first post for free ♡

Day 5: Become a Safer Place for Yourself

intention: emotional safety

affirmation:
i am learning how to be a safe place for myself. i can meet my feelings with softness instead of fear.

coming home to yourself will not always feel cozy at first.

sometimes when we return inward, we find the parts of ourselves we have been avoiding. the tired part, the angry part, the lonely part, the ashamed part, the part that wants more, the part that is afraid to ask, the part that has been waiting for us to come back and sit beside her.

this is where self love becomes less about aesthetics and more about presence.

can i stay with myself when i am not easy to be with? can i stop making my feelings wrong? can i become a place inside myself where my emotions do not have to hide?

you do not become your own safe place by never feeling hard things. you become your own safe place by proving to yourself, little by little: i will not abandon you just because you are feeling something.

journal prompts

what feelings have i been avoiding lately?

how do i usually react when i feel overwhelmed?

what would help me feel even 10% safer in my body, room, or life?

the self love moment

create a tiny comfort ritual today. wrap yourself in a blanket, light a candle, take a slow shower, make something warm to drink, put on calming music, clean one small corner of your room, or sit with your journal somewhere that feels soft. do not overthink it. just create one little pocket of safety.

the practice

→ the comfort list

make a list of 10 things that help you feel comforted, grounded, or safe.

include small things: songs, scents, places, people, foods, routines, objects, phrases, shows, walks, or ways of caring for your body.

then circle three that you can realistically turn to this week.

this list is not here to fix your emotions. it is here to remind you that you have ways to support yourself when life feels tender.

Day 6: Spend Time With Yourself on Purpose

intention: choosing your own company

one of the simplest ways to come home to yourself is to spend time with yourself on purpose. not accidentally. not only when everyone else is busy. not only when you are trying to be productive or improve yourself. but on purpose, because you truly want to.

because your relationship with yourself is not only built in crisis or structured routines. it is built in the ordinary moments where you decide: i want to know myself. i want to enjoy my own company. i want to make my life feel like somewhere i am actually living.

a self love date does not have to be expensive or elaborate. it can be a coffee shop and your journal, a slow walk without your phone, a bookstore visit, a candlelit evening in your room, a movie night with your favorite snacks, or a morning where you make breakfast slowly and do not rush yourself.

the point is not what you do. the point is that you are choosing to be with yourself.

journal prompts

• when do i feel most like myself?

• what kind of time with myself feels nourishing instead of lonely?

• what is one way i can make my own life feel more filled with self love?

the self love moment

plan a small self love date. it can be today, this weekend, or sometime this month. choose something that feels realistic and sweet. not a self-improvement date. not a productivity date. a “i am spending time with me because my own company matters” date.

the practice

→ the self love date intention setting

before your self love date, write down:

• how do i want this time with myself to feel?

• what am i giving myself permission to enjoy?

• how is quality time with myself an act of self love?

afterward, write down:

• what did i notice?

• how did it feel to spend time with myself on purpose?

• what would i like to do again?

let this be simple. let it be yours.

Day 7: Choose What You’re Carrying Forward

intention: integration, not perfection

coming home to yourself is not something you finish.

it is not a seven-day transformation where you wake up on day eight and never disconnect from yourself again. you are human. you will drift sometimes. you will have days where you forget to check in, say yes too quickly, scroll too much, feel tender, feel distant, feel overwhelmed, or feel unsure.

that does not mean you failed

the practice is not to never leave yourself. the practice is to notice when you have slipped away from intentionality with yourself and to then make a choice to gently return. again and again. preferably with less shame each time.

today is about integration. what did this practice show you? what softened? what felt hard? what do you want to carry forward? what does coming home to yourself look like in the smallest, most ordinary way?

journal prompts

• what has shifted in me this week, even slightly?

• what helped me feel more connected to myself?

• what does coming home to myself look like in real life from here?

the self love moment

celebrate that you completed this practice!! do one small thing today that feels like choosing yourself and celebrating yourself. maybe you have your favorite sweet treat, or you get a new bath bomb, or you watch your favorite comfort show. do something that makes you feel joyful and fulfilled.

the practice

→ a promise to self

write a small, realistic promise to yourself.

not a dramatic promise. not something impossible to maintain. something gentle. something you can actually return to.

examples:

• i promise to check in with myself before saying yes.

• i promise to let my feelings matter.

• i promise to spend time with myself on purpose.

• i promise to notice when i am drifting and return without shame.

• i promise to speak to myself like someone i love.

write your promise somewhere you can see it. let it be soft. not a rule, but a loving statement of devotion to your relationship with yourself.

after the 7 days

if you moved through even one day of this practice, i hope you are proud of yourself.

you intentionally turned toward yourself.

and in a world full of distraction, that is a truly radical act, and it matters.

self love is a continuous act of returning to ourselves, and slowly but surely building a beautiful home within.

it often looks like one quiet moment of honesty, one pause, one journal entry that really tells the truth, one breath, one tiny yet loving activity.

and if you have been away from yourself for a while, please know this:

you are not too late.

you are not too far gone.

you do not have to earn your way back to yourself.

you can begin again right here.

with the life you have.

with the body you are in.

with the feelings you are carrying.

with the version of you that exists today.

coming home does not require you to become someone else first.

it asks you to stop leaving the person you already are.

if this 7-day practice gave you even one small moment of return, you might love the deeper space inside Lessons in Self Love.

i would love to hear from you:

which day of this practice feels like the one you need most right now?

leave a little note in the comments — i read every single one.

Leave a comment

・❥・
from my heart to yours,
Rhiana Meri

something exciting from my heart to yours...

if you’ve found comfort, inspiration, or a little bit of magic here at The Fairy & The Moon, you might love my debut guided journal, Becoming Your Own Bestfriend.

It's a soft place to land — a beautiful space for reflection, healing, and self-discovery. Filled with thoughtful prompts and gentle guidance, it's designed to help you slow down, turn inward, and build a deeper relationship with yourself, one page at a time

explore the journal!❥

the current monthly practice:

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

i know you hear a lot about “the most productive morning routine to set yourself up for optimal and ultimate success” and “the best diet for optimal brain and gut health” and “what you need to be doing in your 20’s” “what you should be doing now before its TOO LATE” “hurry up and wake up at 5 am but also stay up late working on your goals and make sure you workout twice a day and never ever ever ever ever ever eat a processed sugar!!!!!!!!!!!!”

anyway, phew, deep breath.

i rebuke that shit.

welcome to the fairy & the moon, your magical self love corner of the world. we grow here, just uh, not like that. lol.

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the healing power of small routines

i am someone who values flow, room, space, and adaptability. i don’t feel the same way every day, or every week, or every month. sometimes i need more productivity, sometimes i require more rest.

i value listening.

listening to my body, my heart, my mind, and my soul.

i am disciplined, but it often feels more like devotion to me.

and the truth is, the only thing you can count on in this life, is change. change is constant, its ever-more, its always.

so having the touchstone of small, simple, grounded practices, can help you feel rooted through every season. storms and sunny days alike.

i absolutely adore the quiet magic of ritual. my morning coffee is one of the most sacred moments of my day. and i do it every single day. to me, it signals the acceptance of beginning another day. i have an idea of a high energy, lengthy morning routine that i like to do sometimes. but without fail, every single day, i have my morning coffee.

and without fail, every single night, i have my night-time tea.

why small routines matter

we often think change requires a grand gesture… a complete overhaul of our mornings, a strict plan, or a big leap. but the truth is, our bodies and minds respond best to the little things we do over and over. tiny routines quickly become anchors. they remind us where we are in the flow of our day, offering stability when everything else feels uncertain.

even the smallest rituals like: pouring tea, writing one sentence in a journal, stepping outside for fresh air can reshape the story we tell ourselves. these little acts whisper: “I can show up for myself.” and when repeated often enough, they become evidence of self-trust. they change how we see ourselves. not all at once, but in that quiet, steady way that growth loves to arrive.

✧.*

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how tiny rituals reshape our nervous system

most of our nervous systems are in absolute overdrive. modern life is one big nervous system dysruptor. we’re oversaturated with instant gratification, bombarded with cheap dopamine hits, and surrounded by the expectation to constantly perform at 100%

its too much.

and on top of that, the weight of being a human is already something hefty to grapple with. its a lot. to constantly be navvigating change, growing-pains, heartbreak, realizations, mental health, physical health, feelings, thoughts, people, to-do lists.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh. ok sorry.

deep breaths!

here’s the good news:

a few simple grounding rituals that your body and brain can rely on, and things will feel a whole lot softer, simpler, and quieter.

you are allowed to take time out for you. it is safe to quiet the noise. and it is a great, big beautiful act of deep self love to carve time out to sit with yourself.

our nervous system is always listening, always scanning for signs of safety. it doesn’t need a dramatic reset… it needs repetition, rhythm, and gentle reminders that we are okay. that’s what small routines do. they become safety signals.

a cup of warm tea tells your body to exhale. a slow walk in the evening shifts your breath and heart rate into a calmer rhythm. even pausing for three deep breaths before opening your phone can activate the vagus nerve, signaling your system that it can move out of fight-or-flight and into rest-and-digest.

healing doesn’t always look like breakthroughs or big milestones. sometimes it looks like rhythm; showing up for the same tiny practice until your body begins to trust that you’re safe. these small rituals create little pathways of calm, and over time, they teach your nervous system a new language: one of steadiness, softness, and self-love.

here are a few of my favorite tiny rituals. not rules, not prescriptions, just gentle invitations you can borrow or adapt.

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♡ a soft invitation

If your heart is craving a place to keep practicing this, Lessons in Self Love now has a Monthly Self-Love Practice for paid subscribers.

Each month, we move through one theme slowly, with guided reflection, journaling prompts, and gentle self-love work.

July’s practice is Coming Home to Yourself.

You can join us here & unlock your first post for free! :

my favorite tiny rituals:

・❥・prompt: what’s one small ritual you already do without thinking, and how could you honor it more deeply?

Leave a comment

1. my beloved morning coffee

its so simple. its so-doable. its so comforting.

begin your day with something simple, easy, comforting, and grounding. maybe for you its tea, or breakfast, or prayer, or a song. maybe you’re like me, and you have a love affair with coffee.

pick one very simple, very small thing. and integrate it.

your body and mind will thank you for the touchstone. for the moment to welcome the day quietly and gently.

2. my journal

i have been journaling consistently for 10 years. how have i done that?

with no rules.

if i miss weeks of journaling, i simply sit down one day and do a “here’s what you’ve missed!” spread. and i keep it moving. no force, no guilt.

but it is such a beautiful practice to have the safe haven of my journal. something to go into that is mine and only mine. somewhere to say hello to myself.

3. touch grass

that is quite literally it. nothing more, nothing less.

bare feet on the grass.

nature’s healing elixir.

don’t time it, just be.

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4. the deep breath

i love meditation, but sometimes all i need is a deep breath.

a few cycles of 4-4-4 breath before or after an activity. its something i come back to and remember throughout my days. a beloved touchstone.

5. one gratitude

committing to a full-blown daily gratitude journal can feel like a lot. but i often tell myself “lets think of one gratitude” and i will do exactly that. i’ll just think of it. and then usually i think of more.

6. my nightly tea

i love my sleepy-time tea with a passion. i do sleepy time tea, a lavender/chamomile tea, a lil’ dollop of honey, and some magnesium powder. i do it every single night, just like the coffee. but sometimes i add a book to the mix. and then i feel super-human.

7. the (one) stretch

sometimes a full yoga class is just a lot. but one, nice, gorgeous, scrumptious stretch is always worthwhile. i’ll even do it from my bed. its just lovely.

8. the guided journal prompt .*✧

when i’m feeling low, writing is extra difficult. it takes extra energy to come up with something to say. guided journals are one of my very favorite things in the world because they are such a soft, precious, hand-holding approach to the powerful practice that is journaling.

writing is a release, and writing honestly is a pathway to deep self love and lasting healing. a guided journal holds the container, so you don’t have to find the words all on your own. you can simply arrive, open the page, and pour out what’s been living inside of you.

this is exactly why i created Becoming Your Own Best Friend: The Guided Journal. it was made to be a gentle companion for the days when you want to come back to yourself, but need somewhere soft to begin.

you can find the guided journal here:

explore my new book!

self love doesn’t need to be loud, extreme, perfect or performative. infact, thats quite literally the opposite of self love. it can be as small as a cup of tea or a single deep breath.

and sometimes, that’s more radical than any 5 a.m. routine. pick one tiny ritual today, and let it be enough. let it be the whisper that you are safe, that you are cared for, that you are already becoming.

from my heart to yours,

Rhiana Meri

continue reading:

July Self Love Practice: Coming Home to Yourself

Inside Lessons in Self Love, we’re beginning a new rhythm together.

A Monthly Self Love Practice.

Each month, we’ll move through one guiding theme designed to help you not just understand yourself more deeply — but actually practice that understanding in your real life.

You will now receive a monthly letter from me with the theme for the month, and the guided practice to come back to yourself through reflection, ritual, journaling, and gentle integration.

Each month inside this practice, you’ll be gently guided through:

🌙 A written lesson to help you understand the theme and your patterns more deeply
🌿 Guided reflection prompts to explore your inner world with honesty and care
✨ A self love practice to help you embody what you’re learning in real life
🌙 A monthly self love date to deepen your relationship with yourself
🤍 A grounding integration ritual to return to yourself and regulate your nervous system
💌 Theme based affirmations to support your evolving sense of self

I want to give you a beautiful framework you can rely on receiving each month, knowing that you are unfolding the process of becoming your own best friend in a tangible and real way .

And this month, we begin here:

Coming home to yourself.

Subscribe now

✩ How to Move Through This Month’s Practice

This practice is yours to move through slowly throughout the month.

You do not have to finish it all in one sitting. You do not have to have perfect answers. You do not have to turn this into another thing to accomplish.

Think of this as something you can return to again and again throughout July.

You might begin by reading the lesson all the way through, then choose one or two journal prompts to sit with each week. You can use the 60-Second Return as your daily anchor, and save the self love date for a day this month when you can intentionally spend time with yourself.

Here is a gentle way to move through it:

Week 1: read the lesson and notice where you’ve been feeling close to or far away from yourself
Week 2: choose a few journal prompts and explore them slowly
Week 3: practice the 60-Second Return once or twice a day
Week 4: take yourself on your monthly self love date and reflect on what this theme brought up for you

But truly, there is no wrong way to be here.

This is not about performing self love perfectly.

This is about returning to yourself gently.

✩ The Theme: Coming Home to Yourself

hi my loves, welcome to July’s self love practice! I thought it would be fitting to talk about a theme as relatable and foundational as coming home to yourself.

when I first began practicing self love and learning how to become my own bestfriend, I was incredibly far away from myself. I was always searching for validation from other people and I was looking for relief & comfort in places outside of me. I spent a lot of my time focused on pleasing other people, and not having to feel. one of the very first things I had to do in my journey, was become willing to come back home to myself. and that included coming home to a place that was quite messy and in disarray. there was a lot of cleaning up to do, a lot of reorganizing, and a lot of trash to throw away.

but that’s okay. because the most important part, was noticing that I hadn’t come home in a long while, and I was ready to finally come back. soon, id be beautifying the space, and then eventually id be obsessed with spending time within.

here’s what “leaving yourself” actually means:

it’s not always obvious.

it looks like:

• overriding what you feel to keep the peace

• abandoning your needs to meet expectations

• distracting yourself when something uncomfortable comes up

• choosing what’s easiest instead of what’s honest

most of us don’t notice it happening in real time. but over time, it creates distance and puts a strain on our relationship with ourself.

why we do this:

we don’t leave ourselves because something is wrong with us. we leave ourselves because, at some point, it felt safer or easier than staying present.

we learn to adapt.
we learn to cope.
we learn to move quickly past ourselves.

and those patterns were once survival mechanisms.

but now, they slowly take us out of relationship with ourselves. and self love is becoming excited and willing to come back home to ourself.

what “coming home” actually means:

coming home to yourself is about rebuilding trust with the person you already are.

it looks like:

• noticing when you disconnect

• pausing instead of abandoning yourself automatically

• learning how to return within, even in small moments

• staying with what you feel without rushing past it

this is not a one-time realization.

it’s a practice.

a slow return.

✩ The Journal Prompts

I want these journal prompts to feel incredibly inviting, gentle, and eye-opening.

you have these for the whole month, so enjoy taking your time with these at your own pace. maybe you even sit with a couple per week. do not worry about a perfect response, this is a private practice between you and you. so let your words flow, be honest, and let it all out.

Read more

the edge of a new chapter

there comes a point in life when what once felt familiar begins to feel strangely distant. the routines that once comforted you no longer excite you. the conversations you used to enjoy feel harder to sit through. the dreams you once chased don’t carry the same spark.

nothing is necessarily wrong.

and yet something feels different.

for a while, this can be confusing. you may wonder if you’re being ungrateful, restless, or lost. but often, what you’re actually experiencing is growth. because outgrowing a life rarely happens all at once. it happens quietly. it happens in small moments. in the sudden realization that you’ve changed. in the feeling that your soul is asking for something more.

in the gentle understanding that who you were is no longer who you’re becoming.

if you’re in that season right now, this is your reminder:

you do not need to force yourself to fit inside a version of life you’ve already outgrown. sometimes the discomfort is not a sign that something is wrong. sometimes it’s a sign that something new is trying to emerge.

these prompts are for those moments. i wanted to write a framework for you that you can land inside of, something to help you feel more rooted and grounded amongst all of this change. these prompts are for the seasons of transition. for the people standing at the edge of a new chapter, even if they cannot see it clearly yet. for anyone learning how to honor where they’ve been while making space for where they’re going.

before we begin, a note for my journal lovers...

if you’ve found comfort, inspiration, or a little bit of magic here at The Fairy & The Moon, you might love my debut guided journal, Becoming Your Own Bestfriend.

It's a soft place to land — a beautiful space for reflection, healing, and self-discovery. Filled with thoughtful prompts and gentle guidance, it's designed to help you slow down, turn inward, and build a deeper relationship with yourself, one page at a time.

plus there is open space to do your The Fairy & The Moon journal prompts!

explore the journal!❥

✧ 27 prompts for when you’ve outgrown your old life ✧

these prompts are divided into three sections: recognizing what you’ve outgrown, understanding what’s changing, and creating room for what’s next.

move through them slowly. there is no rush here. growth begins with the gentlest awareness.

✧ recognizing what you’ve outgrown

there is so much freedom in awareness and acknowledgement. sometimes we forget how good it feels to just simply have a conversation with yourself. think of it like a coffee chat update with one of your closest friends. this section is all about being gently honest, recognizing some feelings, and letting them be said out loud.

• What parts of my life no longer feel aligned with who I am today?

• What habits or routines feel more draining than nourishing?

• Where am I holding onto something simply because it feels familiar?

  P.S. When you become a paid reader, here is what lands in your inbox each month:

  You’ll receive three private letters and practices every month, each supporting a different part of building a loving and trustworthy relationship with yourself:

  🌙 The Monthly Self Love Practice: helps you explore one meaningful theme through guided reflection, real life practice, self love dates, and little acts of devotion.

  📓 The Monthly Guided Journal Deep Dive: A thoughtful collection of intentional journal prompts to help you explore one part of your inner life, uncover what is beneath the surface, and understand yourself more deeply.

  🕯 The Mid-Month Return: A gentle letter from me in the middle of each month, helping you reconnect with yourself, return to the month’s practice, and begin again without shame or pressure.

  Plus seasonal Self-Love Care Packages, occasional surprise letters, and immediate access to the complete Lessons in Self Love library.

  It is a steady monthly rhythm of reflection, practice, and return—created to help you bring self-love beyond the page and into your actual life.

  You can explore everything waiting inside Lessons in Self Love here, or join us to receive the next private letter in your inbox. 💌

  ✧ Receive Lessons In Self Love ✧

Read more

i grabbed both of my little brothers in each of my arms, and spun them around so they’d feel like what i was doing was fun. i ran them upstairs and brought them into my bedroom and i closed the door. i took my computer and put on disney channel faster than you can say disney channel, and i turned the volume all the way up to drown out the noise from beyond the door.

they were confused, and scared, but i knew that they felt safe with me.

they felt safe with me. and in that moment, I was everything I had never received. because I knew how to survive the chaos — I’d been doing it alone for years.

i was no stranger to closing the door, escaping to somewhere in my mind, and drowing out the noise.

only i usually did it alone, with only myself by my side.

in my childhood, i was surrounded by adult themes that i could not run away from. the themes of drug addiction, abuse, depression, and poverty seeped into my veins and made their way to my nervous system. they carved homes within my DNA and before I could read, I learned how to survive.

i could not read words but i could read micro-expressions.

i could not read words but i could map the sounds of footsteps and who they belonged to.

i could not read words but i could read tones of voice.

i could not read words but i could read when the next catastrophe would be coming.

before I could read a single word on a page, I had already memorized the language of survival.

and now, decades later, i catastrophize

my cortisol levels are high

my capacity for trust is next to nothing

i am diagnosed with anxiety, panic, depression, and PTSD

and none of it began with me.

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The Cost of Being Everyone’s Safe Place

when you grow up in an environment where you are forced to grow up quickly (in whatever way that occurs), the impact will follow you into your adolescent and adult years. the anxiety you feel, the depression you harbor, is proof of what you were forced to endure much too young.

it is not your fault that you struggle to trust others, but everyone trusts you.

it is not your fault that you don’t feel safe anywhere, but everyone feels safe with you.

it is who you had to become to survive.

and what a badass you are- to become a safe haven for others, despite what happened to you.

but over here, we heal. because the abuse inflicted on us by others is not ours to carry, however it is ours to heal. you deserve a life of safety, you deserve to feel comforted, you deserve to trust the magical unfolding of your life.

♡ a soft invitation

If your heart is craving a place to keep practicing this, Lessons in Self Love includes a Monthly Self-Love Practice for paid subscribers. Each month, we move through one theme slowly, with guided reflection, journaling prompts, and gentle self-love work.

July’s practice is Coming Home to Yourself. You can join us here & unlock your first post for free!:

Take Your Power Back

i absolutely had to learn how to say no. i had to become radical about putting myself first. i had to dive inward on a journey of self love. to locate the wounds, release them, and choose to live in a very different way. and by doing this, i wrote an entirely new story for myself. the first one doesn’t go away, it just becomes book one.

1. your feelings matter.

sounds simple, but not when you’ve been accustomed to caretaking everyone else’s emotions. carve out ample space for you to feel, release, cry, be mad, get messy, be irritated, express sadness. let it out, give it room to breathe and hold space for yourself the same way you do for others.

2. basics first.

before you go save the world, have you had a shower? have you had water? have you eaten a meal? have you spent time outside? have you checked in with yourself?

it is a brave act of self love to meet your own basic needs before tending to anyone else’s.

3. get rid of the energy drainers

stop pouring into people who have no capacity to love you back, and are comfortable with endlessly taking from you.

its wasted space.

4. prioritize the relationships that make you feel safe, alive, and loved.

i know you’re an incredible friend and partner. of course you are. but you absolutely deserve to have that too. it does not have to be you or them.

5. stop accepting less than you deserve

unconditional love is not letting people treat you however they please and getting to stay in your life, enjoying the benefits of your love.

6. reparent yourself in small ways

do the things for yourself that no one did for you as a child. make your bed feel safe and cozy, keep snacks you love in the cupboard, light a nightlight, buy yourself school supplies just because. little gestures remind your nervous system: I’ve got you now.

7. learn to sit in stillness

parentified children often feel unsafe when things are calm (waiting for the next storm). practice moments of stillness — sit outside for 5 minutes, journal without music, or breathe before bed.

teach yourself that calm is not danger, calm is safe, and you deserve to bask in it.

i am still the safe friend to this day

but… i am my own bestfriend first and foremost.

i care for myself with patience, gentleness, and devotion.

i trust people, and i allow them to love me.

self love only offers you more, instead of less.

from my heart to yours,

Rhiana Meri

if you’ve found comfort, inspiration, or a little bit of magic here at The Fairy & The Moon, you might love my debut guided journal, Becoming Your Own Bestfriend.

It's a soft place to land — a beautiful space for reflection, healing, and self-discovery. Filled with thoughtful prompts and gentle guidance, it's designed to help you slow down, turn inward, and build a deeper relationship with yourself, one page at a time.

explore the journal!❥

Lessons in Self Love | The Emotional Literacy Series (Part I)

Anxiety: The Protector That Learned to Fear Everything

hello my beautiful self love school ♡

Today, we begin our first emotional deep dive.

We’re starting with anxiety. Not because anxiety is the most important emotion. But because for so many of us, it’s the loudest. It’s the voice that keeps us awake at night replaying conversations. It’s the feeling in your chest when you haven’t heard back from someone. It’s the endless list of what-ifs. It’s the need to know. The need to prepare. The need to control.

And if you’ve struggled with anxiety, I want you to know something before we begin:

Anxiety is not evidence that you are broken.

Anxiety is evidence that a part of you is trying very hard to keep you safe.

Today, we’re going to sit down with anxiety instead of running from it.

We’re going to listen.

And we’re going to discover the loving message hidden beneath the fear.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

What anxiety really is:

Most people think anxiety is overthinking.

But overthinking is simply one expression of anxiety.

At its core, anxiety is your mind attempting to predict the future in order to protect you from pain. It is a protective strategy.

Read more