The potholes are not controllable, but the joyful times are. They are the moments we create intentionally. I just needed a reminder to listen to what I required, to make space for joy. How can I set the intention to choose it?

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We have curve balls thrown at us all the time; health issues, unexpected bills, job loss, house moves, children moving away, and sometimes we have a real run of curve balls that make you want to scream “Come on, is that the best you’ve got?” and then really awful, devastating things occur, and you think well this is a new low. That is grief. That is not something that can be fixed by the normally administered self-care menu of massages, manicures, apple cider vinegar, magnesium baths, face masks, cashmere, or ice cream, and I mean a lot of Yochi butterscotch.

There is no cure for grief. You cannot get through it; rationalise it, you just find a way to live with it.

You learn to navigate the grief loop. Eventually. Most of us get to an age where we have experienced it. I have many times now. Such beautiful people, all gone too soon. Grief is always about people, not material.

Eventually, grief can become a movie reel of memories, the best of times, crystal clear pictures, the conversations, the laughter, the deep love, and somehow those memories bring you to joy.

Standing on the precipice of potentially being caught up in a grief loop, one that could trigger a dive into the horror movie of my own life mishaps, the times I desperately try to keep at bay, I recognised the need for a circuit breaker. To take a moment from the heaviness of grief. Instead of going to the gym or watching mindless television, I chose to sit in our crew training. Two hours of joy, watching an incredible group of future leaders, have fun, have difficult conversations around expectation, resilience, and connection. I was exactly where I was meant to be.

The session was run by two extraordinary young men in their twenties, living full lives. Both have degrees in law and teaching, both playing in bands, with interests in Buddhism, surfing, community and travel. But mostly they are committed to helping build resilience in young Australians. It was the perfect circuit breaker. Nothing sends me screaming to the joy state more than watching young people in their element, it completely fills my cup.

The joy state is a place I purposefully choose to spend most of my time. Just now I am lying in bed, a lazy Sunday morning, my neighbour is playing jazz, drifting up from downstairs. Cups of tea. Fresh canelé from the market. What peace. What joy.

Many of us journal about gratitude, and I support that of course, however I want to consciously focus my daily practice on joy. Seeking it out, being more playful, laughing at life and all it throws at us. Looking for the simple signs of joy in my every day.

Laughing uncontrollably is the best life tonic, and one that makes me lose it more than most is my god daughter Evie, who came to stay on Friday night, the eve of her big move to London. I was expecting her to arrive at my apartment with three neatly packed suitcases, which she did. Along with a trail of bags, a laundry basket full of the entire colour range of Adidas Sambas and a selection of cosmetics that would rival any Mecca store. I took one look at what was still to be squeezed in and thought there is no time for strategy we are moving straight to solution, champagne, Dua Lipa and Australia Post! The laughter arrived when Evie so meekly stated, “I suppose I don’t really need my emergency flannelette pyjamas!!” I had tears running down the inside of my leg!

It is so good to laugh. Even through the grief of recently losing my golden friend Eva, I still smile at her laughing with me over my obsession with Elle Macpherson, every time we crashed through the waves together at Bondi, and I would say, “I feel just like Elle!”She would roar with laughter.

Perhaps that is what choosing joy really means. It is not pretending the potholes aren’t there. Or trying to outrun grief. Insisting that every day be happy. It is knowing that the hard things will come, sometimes relentlessly, and still being willing to look for the joy.

Grief and joy can sit at the same table. One does not diminish the other. So, for now, I am choosing joy. Not because life is easy, but because life is precious. And there is still so much to laugh about.

XX Ringo XX

PS Joy State part #2 is coming....

Eva and I met when I was a fresh young fashion buyer, green behind the gills they say, at the age of 22. I even remember what I was wearing, a black and white houndstooth Sandra Soulos mini dress with red patent sling backs. We were so young, fearless, highly motivated for success, both with razor sharp wit and twinkles in our eyes, we were always destined to be friends.

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Over many years of buying trips to Sydney, I would often stay with Eva in one of her many harbourside apartments, always inspired by her independence, her savviness with money, her shrewd business sense and especially her zest for life.

We kept in touch sporadically, always picking up where we left off with a sense of ease and familiarity. We knew each other’s families, the dynamics, the pitfalls, the dramas, the sadness and loss, sharing advice and strategies were always at the forefront of many conversations, never with judgement, often accompanied with humorous commentary, especially around Eva’s father George, always holding court at his local Double Bay café amongst his tennis buddies.

The fashion industry was often treacherous, and after being hugely successful in wholesale Eva took time out and moved to Noosa for a short sabbatical. By this time, I had moved to Melbourne, now a buyer for Sportsgirl. She called one day to share the news she was pregnant. “Who to?” I shrieked down the phone! She had a whirlwind affair with some fella in Noosa, and before long the beautiful Isabella arrived.

Issy was Eva’s world. There was nothing she would not sacrifice to ensure her life was rich, challenging, full of sport, family and friends. Eva showed me the way in time how to be a successful single mother, hardworking, ambitious, smart and progressive.

Eva was like a big sister and treated me that way. Always checking in, making sure I was ok, on track and forever interested in how my children were doing. They were lucky enough to share meals with Eva at her favourite Bondi Italian and formed a bond over the best sizzling garlic prawns on the planet.

We shared a love for the beach, especially Bondi where I would often stay. She would swing past and pick me up in her latest convertible and whizz me off to wherever I needed to go, just to spend whatever short time we had together, catching up, always finding common ground and plenty of laughs, normally at my expense!

We shared a meal in Sydney just last month, meeting at a stunning French bistro. We laughed about how our conversations had changed over the years from fashion to sleep and our various exercise regimes consisting of water aerobics, Eva, to pilates for me. How times had changed from the early days of wine, ciggies, fashion and fellas!

I am still dumbstruck that I won’t be attending the Australian Open next January we had just started planning. Or the phone calls to discuss our latest sleep strategies. Or just the general life support she provided. I know she cherished our friendship, my commitment to keep in touch, and it was reciprocal.

Death is so final. Such a reminder, to not sweat the small stuff. Eva was a life enthusiast. She loved it all. Was interested in people, society, global issues, health and business. She loved her family, was dedicated and supportive, kind and generous. I feel lucky to have been in her orbit. My heart breaks for Issy.

RIP my Eva.

XX Ringo XX

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There has been much conversation around women in their 50’s choosing to be in the Shire of Singledom. Many see it as a cop out, “you’re not trying hard enough, get on the apps, join a gym, a club, go to a bar, just date someone, anyone!” Most of these comments are hurled at the happily self-partnered by those who are entangled in relationships, functioning or not.

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I have been sitting with this for over a year now. The conclusion is a unanimous shrieking of joy to be proudly on my own. There is a huge difference with being on your own and being alone. I never feel alone. Just gleefully on my own!

I have successfully orchestrated a life that allows me to lie in bed on a Sunday, drink copious cups of tea while reading a beautifully constructed tale, clean my box size apartment in 17 minutes including vacuuming, mopping and dusting, while occasionally glancing at the video of my choice blaring in the back ground, oscillating between Holiday, Notting Hill and Something’s Gotta Give! I can go to the fresh markets every weekend, cook all my favourite meals, catch up with friends I genuinely like, chat with those far away and lie on the couch binge watching teen flicks without an ounce of remorse!

It wasn’t always like this. There were years when solitude felt frightening rather than freeing. Years when I mistook independence for resilience. It has taken time to discover that peace isn’t the absence of another person but finally feeling at home with myself.

There are advantages as you can see. There was not one mention of unwanted odours, socks and jocks on the floor, ridiculous questions on repeat, or long stories with no apparent ending!

I do say all this lovingly, and slightly tongue in cheek! I am open to the rare opportunity of meeting someone but boy, they are going to need to be an obvious enhancement to my happy world rather than a major detraction!

This week I had a big win. My clever, artistic beyond belief “lucky” posted portraits she had recently painted for sale. Immediately I purchased the stunning one below. I connected with this portrait instantly. I saw hurt, love, sadness but most potently, unwavering hope.

Tiffmanuell.com

The portrait reminded me that hope doesn’t disappear with age, it simply changes shape.

I do believe in love. At twenty, love looks very different to at fifty eight. I believe we are meant to walk through life with someone. A companion, a friend, a lover, a co-conspirator. I have had a lifetime of love and incredible partners, some more than others, but all have taught me valuable lessons. I am very grateful for them all.

This time right now, is about my personal growth. Learning to lean into true vulnerability. To drop the mask. The tough mask worn for many years, to cope, survive, manage stress, failure, and disappointment. Of course, there were so many highlights, mainly with my children, but the mask was a necessary tool, a safety net.

Now I choose to immerse myself in leading a truly authentic, honest life, enjoying the simplicity of it all. A call or a visit from my kids especially, and time with friends and family. Being totally accountable for myself, is a great feeling, acknowledging you can support yourself in life, in its entirety; financially, mentally, and emotionally. It is the first time I have felt really empowered as a single entity. I also know this is temporary.

The Universe has served me so well in my 58 years. Trust is a key participator in this current phase. I trust the Universe to deliver an interesting human at some point. Meanwhile there are many experiences to have on my own, new skills to learn, some old ones to fine tune, and always plenty of fun to be had!

I can’t wait for this portrait to arrive and be hung in my hallway, pride of place as a reminder of a big life lived and a hope filled future......

Enjoy wherever you are right now....

XX Ringo XX

I expected Evie to be inconsolable after the passing of a man who had become such a force in her life. Instead, she sat across from me composed, proud, and deeply grateful. Grateful to have witnessed firsthand the courage, responsibility and drive of a man determined to thwart “The Beast,” as Neale called it.

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“When all is said and done, more is said than done.” Neale Daniher

I have watched in awe from the sidelines, the machine of what has become FightMND. I have bought my fair share of beanies, socks, attended the games and enjoyed watching friends hit the slide all to support this man, his passion to find a cure, knowing he would not be a recipient but an enabler. That is true humility, committing yourself to something bigger than your own outcome. It is as close to religion as I can grasp.

“Teams thrive when people commit to something bigger than themselves.” Neale Daniher

We all need to find our spark. If something good is to come from this tragic week it is the blatant reminder that life is short. Grab it. Have a go, “Play on” as Neale would say.

“Find something to do, find someone to love, have something to look forward to.” These have been Neale’s words spoken many years ago, that have left such a lasting impression on me and resulted in some of the more recent life decisions I have made. My own quest has become finding purpose, something that truly rocks you to the core.

I feel lucky to have found my passion in supporting positive mental health in young people. Believing every young Australian deserves to thrive and be heard regardless of their background or circumstances. Neale Daniher’s passing has ignited an even greater determination in me to get going. To make some noise. I am lucky I work with my own versions of “Neale,” a group of people driven by hope and the mindset of being changemakers.

Courage is a superpower and Neale had it in spades.

“Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is action despite fear.” Neale Daniher

If I could scream anything from the top of the MCG it would be this. We all need a strong dose of courage. To get out of our comfort zones, do things that challenge us, learn new things, be brave. Why not? What is the worst thing that could happen? You make a mistake? People might laugh at you? So what? Do you really care?

I have a friend right now, the bravest person I know. Putting everything on the line, not just for business and the success that will come. But for her family. To make a point. To show them. To have a crack at life. I back her 200%. And the best thing is she does too. That is courage. That is success in life.

I hope to have inspired some of you to find your passion, however big or small.

“You can’t always choose your circumstances, but you can choose your response.” Neale Daniher.

Passion. Find it. Live it. Enjoy it.

Vale Neale Daniher, the superhero of our time. “Play on.....”

XX Ringo

It got me thinking, wouldn’t that be a cathartic exercise. Just for one year.

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So, I have made a pledge to myself. I am not going to buy any clothes, have my nails done or generally waste cash on things I can live without purchasing for a year. Self-sacrifice. Anytime I feel the urge I am going to transfer the proposed amount into my compound interest account and watch it grow! What will the savings number be I wonder? I am predicting approximately $9,600. Let the game begin!

It does make you think, what do we actually need to function well and feel good about ourselves? For those that know me, freshly painted nails are my signature, ranging from pale pink to pillar box red. I wear them like a badge of honour; they most definitely reflect my current mood and truly make me happy. I like the sound of the clickety clack on my keyboard as I am tapping away at the multitude of emails that confront me every day.

I reflected on what are my necessities that truly keep me upright. The constants in my life, the non-negotiables.

My life essentials...

o My Mac, and charger - I could do without my phone and just text and call via my laptop, or God forbid see people in person more frequently!

o Phone calls from my kids

o Apple TV, I will not miss Ted Lasso Season 4, not for love or money!!

o My kindle, reading is going to be high on the list and will be working my way through all the free books online or hitting the library.

o Sleep, having just bought a new Ecosa mattress and religiously taking “The Beauty Chef Dream Ritual” along with magnesium supplements up the wahzoo to achieve optimal REM sleep!

o Welleco green powder to put zoom in my broom!

o Poached eggs at my local, a joyful start to any day

o Tiny vanilla pastries from the weekend markets, like eating tiny clouds!

o Nike pink runners, propel me forward and make me happy, people literally stop me in the street to comment on them

o Skipping rope and hand weights

o Bobbi Brown watermelon lipstick, I can do anything wearing this colour!

o My silver bracelets, I have been jangling for 40 years, some made by Jude, others collected along the way, they remind me of my wonderful life and being a pirate! Sometimes required!

o Steak, mixed green salad, mint, fetta, cucumber with a dash of Italian white balsamic vinegar, my absolute favourite meal, could eat this 7 days a week!

o Jurlique lemon citrus hand cream, always in the car for quick application followed by Aesop hydration spray

o Chanel Mademoiselle, no words...

o Acler white poplin detailed shirt, a design triumph

o Paige black bootleg jeans, recent purchase, thank goodness, just scraped in prior to the quest!

o Silver cashmere knit, life essential

o Boden deep vee white tee, say no more..

o Haircut, but of course no colour! Grey all the way!

o Public transport, the new dating app!

o $25 bunch of flowers from the market every week, I would rather give up sour dough...

Things I can pass up for a year...

o Fresh market sour dough, my favourite food group of all, I can live without and know I will be ok, and lighter! Sad but true!

o Alcohol, no problem...

o Clothes

o Take away coffees, already started..

o Buying books

o Random gifts

o Cancel all subscriptions except for Apple TV, sorry kids!

o Travel

o Gym memberships

o Massages

o Perfume

o Shoes

o Ice Cream

Given I am not going to be buying any clothes per se, this does not prevent me from borrowing! So “luckies” look out, I am hurtling towards your wardrobes for a clothes swap! I am also implementing one other get out of jail free card for myself. If I sell items from my wardrobe, I can use those funds to replenish! Depop is about to blow up!

I am planning remerchandising my own wardrobe, fully accessorised down to the shade of lipstick. This is going to be fun!

I already feel exhilarated thinking about the savings, the opportunities, the creativity and the appreciation of what I already own. So many hours back in my life to spend on reading, writing, hanging with friends and exploring local gardens and galleries on foot!

I am ready to take this on, just after one last manicure and a quick puffer jacket purchase before winter rolls in. Oh, and I will be booking in for a whole day spa extravaganza in 365 days!

Whose joining me!

XX Ringo XX

At one point, someone reflected on Year 9 and said, “I was not the best version of myself that year.” It’s a comment that has stayed with me for the past few weeks. When have I been the best version of myself? Is it something I’ve already been, or am I still working towards it?

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I don’t have a huge reference point of memories for the type of person I was in year 9, but I recently found a handful of cards written by my absolute best school friend during that time, the messages were all the same. She was apologising for not being a very good friend to me. It was odd reading these notes, and made me think what had she done and why had I continued to accept it? We’re no longer close, and perhaps that’s why. I still remember a conversation about this particular friendship

with my Papa as we drove along one day. “If the friendship isn’t reciprocal,” he said, “let it go.” It’s advice that has stayed with me for many years and was helped shape the long standing friendships I have today.

My main memories from school are around sport, catching the train or riding my bike to school with my siblings (many mishaps!), academic achievements, which were rare but when received, I felt as proud as punch, especially my 98% score for a pencil drawing of a crayfish! If only I had kept it! Awarded by famous Australian cartoonist, Michael Atchison, my art teacher, has always been a proud moment as I highly rated his opinion. I remember the feeling like it was yesterday. Other achievements were performing the Charleston in a middle school musical, singing alto in the choir, becoming a prefect, navigating friendships and of course first loves!

But was I a good friend? A kind person? Thoughtful? Inclusive? These are qualities I value most now, and I hope they were part of who I was then. I remember feeling deeply uncomfortable when someone was left out or treated unkindly. Even now, I struggle to sit with mean behaviour. That hasn’t gone away with age.

Recently, I heard something on The Imperfects podcast that resonated. The idea was simple, approach every human interaction with the assumption that the other person might be having a hard time. It softens you. It makes you listen more carefully, respond kindly, and show up with warmth. It’s not revolutionary, but it’s powerful, and it’s the kind of mindset I want to keep practising.

Maybe the “best version” of ourselves isn’t a fixed point in time. Maybe it’s not found in achievements or titles, but in how we show up for people, how we listen, how we include, how we care. When I think about the moments I’ve felt most aligned with a version, one stands out. Becoming a Year 10 prefect. I can still picture it, standing outside the chapel in my uniform, the sun on my face, my parents nearby. I felt proud, but more than that, I felt a sense of responsibility, to lead, set an example, to be someone others could rely on and look up to. That feeling has stayed with me.

I don’t think I’ve reached the “best version” of myself yet, but I do think I’m moving towards it, through small, everyday choices to be softer, kinder, more centred and adopting a growth mindset.

As my Papa George would say, who I have thought of with such abundant love today, on Anzac Day, “I am not perfect, just bordering on it!”

Keep learning. Keep trying.

XX Ringo XX

This week I was involved in a strategy day and tasked with sharing key life highlights. The question was asked, if you could have one day repeated from your life what would it be? Instantly, without question, it was my wedding day (the second one of course!). Why, you ask? It was without doubt the happiest day of my life. It was the time of my life, early thirties, when I look back now, life generally, was peaking for us all. I had a terrific, fun partner, a fantastic design job travelling the world, a brilliant gaggle of friends with whom I shared many fun times, my family were all happy, settled, and secure. Grandparents, well there were three with beating hearts, involved, and so interesting, lots of fascinating, vibrant and inspiring family friends, life in its entirety was grand. It was an abundant time, filled with happiness, certainty and fun.

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On the flip side, I heard today of the passing of a close school friend. Close during and directly after school, however, not in recent times, but often thought of as we share the same birthday month, so every year, over the past 40 years, I would message him and two others around our birthdays, just to keep in touch. I received the news in a meeting today and instantly cried. I felt such loss for him. How life had once been so full of hope, success in leadership and sport, then work. The son of kind foster parents, whose smile lit every room, was loved and whose company was enjoyed by everyone. Life can turn on a dime, as too many of us know. The key is to be nimble enough to pivot, to turn the dime again, and again if need be. Some can achieve this, myself included, others cannot. Justin could not.

One of my colleagues said this afternoon after I shared this news, “life is beautiful and brutal.” I sat with that for a while and thought, I could not have articulated the machinations of life more succinctly. It makes you think, we must focus on the beautiful and prepare for the brutal as it does come, in many forms, but it is not what defines memories. Beauty, joy and happiness make memories.

I came home from work and straight away looked at my wedding photos. My beaming face, my happy, relaxed friends, my joyful family, the presence of grandparents, my eclectic family friends. I then looked at my last day of school. My friends, of which Justin featured in most shots, hamming it up, always at the centre, so handsome, bridging cultures we were then so unaware of, and the challenges he would face. I am glad I had that day too. In life we have so many great days. Golden days. It is wonderful to acknowledge them, cherish them, and look forward to experiencing more.

Sometimes regardless of outcomes it is so good to re live the golden days.

XX Ringo XX

RIP Frybie xxx

Each facilitator begins by sharing their story. They speak openly about who they were at school and how life unfolded from there. Their vulnerability gives students permission to lower their guard and share their own experiences.

The introductions are varied, honest and, more often than not, leave me weeping quietly in the back of the room.

Listening to them, I often recognise pieces of my younger self. It made me wonder what my own introduction would sound like….

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I grew up in a middle class family, in a rough suburb, in a terrifying house. I was scared of the dark, noises, people and especially spiders.

I am the middle child of two high achieving intellects and athletes, an Australian netballer and an AFL footballer. I was a bit of a flibbity gibbet, happy to play competitively, but did not take it too seriously, I was more about the fun factor. I loved reading, dancing, writing, fashion, sport, playing with my friends, and of course I loved boys. I fell in love at the age of 8 to Desmond, a blond haired blue eyed boy who lived over the back fence. It was unrequited love!

School was fine. I suspect I was smarter than my report cards suggested: “Robyn would achieve higher grades if she applied herself. Easily distracted. Too interested in socialising.” Perhaps I was simply ahead of my time, prioritising connection long before it became a wellbeing strategy.

The schoolyard had its challenges, but nothing compared to the landscape young people navigate today. I often shudder imagining social media layered over my generation’s adolescence. My empathy for today’s students runs deep. It can be brutal.

Safety has been a recurring theme throughout my life; emotional, financial and physical safety. At different times I have worried about homes, relationships and job security, particularly as a single mother and now as a single woman.

My son often reminds me to stop worrying about things beyond my control, which brings me back to a thoughtful gift he once gave me: Reasons Not to Worry by Brigid Delaney.

Despite my fears, I have always carried a sense of adventure, a belief that anything is possible. At eighteen I moved to Perth chasing a fella. The romance faded, but the friendships I built there have become pivotal and lifelong anchors.

I have moved states for love, jobs, and family. I have tethered careers in fashion (my first love), government, oil & gas (my second love) and now the not-for-profit youth prevention sector, which feels like my long lasting love.

I look for opportunity rather than the norm. I intended to have a big life; it has not been crafted by accident. At times, not well thought through, and financially challenging but always exciting with the added element of constantly pushing myself to try new things, strive for great results, keep learning and enjoy life.

My greatest achievement has been motherhood. My children remain my first and last thoughts each day, my constants, my motivation to improve and to fully show up for them everyday, or when they are free to speak to me!

Living a big life, with at times too big a boundary, can come with collisions, and I have had my fair share. They are my scars, but they don’t define me. They are my learnings.

I have learnt to back myself, lead a simple but fulfilling life, be financially prepared and disciplined (a work in progress), seeking knowledge, surround myself with quality people, love immensely and enjoy laughing with my kids, nieces, friends, family and at work. You just can’t take yourself too seriously!

If I was introducing myself to a young person today, I would speak about fear, loss, failure and resilience. I would talk about grief for grandparents and friends I still think about daily, the breakdown of my marriage, the impact on my children, and my determination to keep growing, stay curious and lead with kindness.

Young people need examples of change. Of bravery, defiance and resilience. They need permission to step outside inherited expectations, stereotypes and create lives that are true to themselves.

What continually surprises me is how much they teach us in return. They are emotionally literate, articulate and brave. The real work is meeting each other with respect and curiosity, understanding that wisdom does not belong to one generation alone.

Perhaps we should all write our own introductions, not just for others, but to remind ourselves how far we have travelled.

I hope you do, until next time...

XX Ringo XX

I have just spent a happy long weekend in my hometown, catching up with my daughter, best day ever, my parents, lovely long stretches of time when I did not have to rush and of course a huge dose of a handful of “luckies”. For those that don’t know, this is what I refer to as my people, who I feel so lucky they are in my life, including my family.

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Having moved away 8 months ago, which from a work point of view has been hugely rewarding and successful and has brought me immense joy and satisfaction with the work I am now involved in, supporting and developing positive mental health for our young Australians, I cannot ignore the reality of missing certain people.

I have been able to forge a very easy life for myself in my new old hometown, with great friends from school and from my previous pre kid work life, as well as having my brother, sisters in law and my 2 favourite nieces nearby, softens the blow. But there is a but. How do you know you are in the right place? How do you know if you are on track with your life purpose? These are the questions I grappled with on my long drive home!

My purpose, as a mother is to inspire my children to reach for the stars, give as many things as possible a go, be kind, to love, be curious and adventurous and to always be good to their mother! More broadly, I see my purpose is to inspire and support young people to be passionate about life and have a crack, to keep learning, be interested in others, be kind, show empathy, be curious and leave nothing in the tank! I am pretty sure I am on track!

Many people who are purpose driven, at times appear selfish or focused on a cause, do miss out on things, and possibly miss people. We can’t all be in the same place, at the same time. I put a lot of effort into staying connected with all the “luckies” who are scattered around the globe. Just yesterday one called out of the blue who was on our “river walk” just to chat like we would have, had we been together. It made my day. We had a lively chat, covered all bases, just not together, but the connection was still there. How grateful I am.

I am working on a creative installation of all the “luckies” to be revealed later in the year so I can see them en masse on a daily basis and feel their presence, influence and commentary! I do enjoy having certain photos, cards, paintings and objects around the apartment, many have been gifts from the “luckies”, that keep me grounded and less alone. I have come to understand that when you miss someone, it is because the relationship matters, so you just need to invest in ways to catch up either in person or on a call.

Trust me this new life of mine is not all bad, far from it. I live in a stunning apartment muse, English inspired, 50 metres from work, adjacent to lush botanic gardens and the city full of wine bars, restaurants, art galleries, museums, theatres and retail. Living alone you can walk to the beat of your own drum; eat, watch, read, exercise, sleep, bathe, speak, be silent, shop, write, work, garden whenever you like!! I have realised through some recent readings (thanks Ant) that when you decide to choose you in life, consciously, and do something solely for your own benefit, not others, life shows up in a different way. When you choose you, energy shifts, new opportunities present, standards lift, boundaries strengthen, and suddenly things you felt were out of reach, are nearby.

So, despite the fact I do miss so many, most days, I have given myself the space to try something different, to seek a new opportunity, and as Paul Kelly says so beautifully, “from little things big things grow”.

Failing that, there is always Christmas! Bloody hell!

Until next time

XX Ringo XX

Time passed. One returned. Then I jumped ship myself, setting off on my own adventure. Now the three of us live in different states. I like to think we’re invested in three economies, three electorates, keeping the bastards honest, spreading our joie de vivre across the continent. A family model built on independence, mutual respect and multiple postcodes.

They say successful parenting means raising children who can stand on their own two feet, emotionally and financially self-sufficient, travelling through life without being propped up. And yes, that’s the goal. However, there’s a big but.

The tug of heartstrings when they can’t just drop in with a load of washing. When I can’t make their favourite meal, rub their backs during a bout of the “can’t copes” (a well-practised family condition), or watch a movie together and successfully order Yochi on Uber Eats without sending it to an address in a state I no longer reside in! True story! That delivery cost me $33 for a cup of melted salted butterscotch and chocolate. Honestly, I’m the one who can’t function without the children. Don’t even get me started on logging onto my online university course portal, I had to up my anti-anxiety meds to deal with that hullabaloo!

Being apart does, however, provide the luxury of time.

It’s Sunday. I’ve been to my local for poached eggs on sourdough with a side of spinach and a black iced coffee. I’ve smashed out an hour of work emails in preparation for another hectic week. Now home: washing (favourite pastime), uploading pre-loved items to Depop, navigating four platforms in my study; writing this column, attempting to study (unsuccessfully, clearly), planning the week ahead, singing with Olivia Dean and roasting a chook for lunch. I am, quite genuinely, as happy as a clam!

Later I’ll take my favourite Yin and Sound Bath class, then hit the couch for some committed binge-watching, followed by a steaming Epsom-salted bath, face mask, tea and finish my latest novel, purchased purely for its joyful cover, only to discover it could best be classified as lesbian porn. Enlightening, at least!

None of this means I don’t miss my kids like crazy. I’m constantly sending them links to articles, music, travel destinations, anything I find interesting, but I do give them the space to do what I once did, which is leave home and live independently.

I was 18 when I moved to Perth. It feels like yesterday I was in a share house with one of the original “luckies”. What fun we had! I love hearing their stories now, setting up their homes, building friendships, working part-time through hangovers that make you want to cry. The very best of times, and what you should be doing in your 20’s.

My best of times are only marginally different now: dinners, rooftop drinks, movies, long lunches and holidays with the “luckies”. Plenty of laughs. Constant plans for new adventures. Conversations involving sleep strategies, body balancing and business opportunities.

And most recently, my latest obsession: Karel Martens, Dutch graphic designer, typographic experimentalist and educator. I’ve fallen down that rabbit hole completely, thanks Ev.

Of course, I’ve already sent them the link! Different states. Same group chat.

Have a buoyant week….

Xx Ringo XX

I have to say that despite all highly commercial points of view, I bloody love Valentines Day, not for any other reason but the warm feeling it provides. It instantly transports me back to primary school. To the innocence of first love, the imagination of what could be in years to come. Sadly, I ran into that first love a few years ago, that was like experiencing an ice bath, what a reality shock and quite glad that one did not transpire. Anyway, back to love!

This year, my heart is overflowing, not due to any love interest at all. In fact, those have all been ejected and I am currently, blissfully self-partnered! No, my heart is full, just from life. The joy of having recently spent a weekend solely with my kids, all bunking in together in my tiny apartment, sharing meals, taking in a family box class, catching up with fave Uncle and cousins, reading and shrieking at past episodes of Schitt’s Creek!

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On Valentines Day, I drove to my favourite local coffee shop and combined florist, a destination not to be missed, to purchase the best gooey chocolate chip cookie straight from the oven with my flower of choice - bright pink Dahlias. To see the thoughtful bouquets, resplendent on the footpath, keen customers literally springing up the street, so pleased with their purchases and joy they were about to bring to a loved one, made my heart explode.

Followed by a day at the races, dressed in our finest threads, red nails and a Bobbi Brown watermelon lip of course! The discussion for the day amongst the couples were the exchanging of V Day gifts ranging from nothing, to orchids, to a martini atomiser, a small refillable spray bottle used to apply a fine, precise mist of vermouth, bitters or other aromatics onto a cocktail glass, perfect for crafting exceptionally dry martinis. Who knew, and what thought! That was the winner for me!

Later that evening I went for a stroll through my local Fitzroy Gardens, witnessing so many groups of friends, not just couples, and solo strollers, happy to be sharing a stunning evening in a glorious garden, feeling the love of nature and the pop of colour in the well-attended garden beds. V Day bliss.

As I have previously mentioned, my long standing admiration for Elle MacPherson, who succinctly wrote in reference to V Day.

“Love is the highest way to be. It’s connectedness and respect of uniqueness – yours as well as others. Not simply love for another – love for self, for life itself, for nature, for experience and the very concept of unconditional love, allowing uniqueness and individuality to exist without any conditions – no ifs or buts or onlys. Love is not a single relationship, though it may manifest that way. It is a way of being, coexisting in relationship to all of creation whilst holding your own power and wisdom in sacred care.”

This is exactly the space I sit in right now, and have never felt happier, healthier, more fulfilled and joyful. The planets have lined up for me, it has taken a while, let’s be honest! But the wait has been worth it. To feel joy through the simplest of things, and most often for me is brought about by nature. A perfect bloom, a stroll through the gardens with my Boo, reading in the sunshine with Sam by my side, a chilled, crisp pinot – which has come from the earth!

There is much written about self-care, it is exhausting, I know. However, if you invest the time in yourself, find your own winning combination, the result can be extraordinary. That is how I feel right now, in an extraordinarily happy life. I have found the perfect combo of work, the right exercise regime; gym, nature, meditation, balanced diet (I will not give up ice cream – EVER), reading, learning, laughing, time with those that make me feel great and those that don’t, I say so long to. I have also found having small reminders around the house, a card in a drawer, a silk scarf on a door handle, a favourite piece of jewellery on the bench, all enhance my mood. Sleep is still my nemesis, but I am better at resting, especially when my daughter has explained I can still burn calories when lying down, what a win!

So, with a full heart, I am bouncing into another week, I hope you are too….

XX Ringo XX

For those of you, like me, who have become Landman obsessed — and for those who know me well — you’ll understand my admiration for Ali Larter’s character, Angela Norris. Ex-wife, current girlfriend, and undeniable force of nature alongside Tommy Norris, played by the perfectly cast Billy Bob Thornton. Honestly, I think they’re both just playing themselves, but that’s a discussion for another time.

At the beginning of the year, I focused on my Gratitude 100 list and set clear goals. It was grounding and effective, and it will shape the coming months. But after watching the Landman season finale, my focus shifted. Now, it’s about the wins.

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The final moments of what was an epic finale — beating Yellowstone, Slow Horses, and Shrinking hands down (yes, I’m an avid streaming critic) — delivered a line that landed hard:

“I win every day. There are wins all around. You just have to take the time to notice.”

And that’s exactly it.

I wake up and I win.
I set myself up to win every day.

Wins look like connecting with family and friends, exercising every day, sunshine, practising discipline with my writing, study and sleep, seasonal produce — and yes, always allocating a portion of my day to ice cream!

But there are quieter, feel-good wins too.

The perfect outfit — the one that makes you feel confident, intentional, and noticed. This isn’t vanity. It’s self-care. Self-worth. Self-value. Call it whatever you need to — just do it.

Ali Larter rocks a white tank and bootleg jean better than anyone I’ve ever seen. And it’s not her well-toned body that makes her magnetic — it’s her energy. She owns herself completely.

So, I tried it on for size.

This week, I got up, washed my hair, slipped into my favourite jeans and a fitted white Acler shirt (a wardrobe clincher), added my favourite jewellery, a Bobbi Brown red lip, and sauntered into work — straight into an old flame. Raised brow. Big smile. A hug. Genuine delight.

Moments later, a colleague asked, “What is going on with you today?”

The Ali Larter effect.

Same outfit I’ve worn before. Completely different energy.

Angela Norris is also a masterclass in loving her family deeply. She creates experiences — themed dinners that take Taco Night to a whole new level, the insistence on eating together, the unapologetic effort, the outfits! She shows up for her daughter in unexpected ways, sprinkling joy into places that often feel forgotten. She’s a problem solver. A fighter. A leader. A woman who shows up every time it counts and is fiercely protective of her tribe.

Which brings me to posture — literal and metaphorical.

Exercise helps, obviously. Endorphins don’t lie. But for me, it’s not always the gym. It’s Pilates with a friend. Boxing with my brother. Loud music, dark rooms, and a pint-sized instructor spruiking high octane motivation at 100 decibels. Add the competitive edge of keeping up with the young ones, and you walk out owning life.

Wins also look like catching up with friends, laughing hard, and dissecting the loopholes of modern dating. I sometimes ask myself, What would Ali Larter do? For starters, she wouldn’t be at home scrolling apps (neither am I). She’d be at a pub, wearing her favourite animal print shirt, jeans, doing shots at the bar.

Okay — I’m in. Except for the shots.

Sunlight feeds my soul. It’s a win in itself to wake up in this incredible country. Reading by the pool, sipping a Campari, listening to my endlessly entertaining goddaughter give life advice from a 25-year-old perspective — it’s grounding and hilarious all at once.

It also makes me reflect on my own antics at 25. I got engaged to my flatmate after three weeks of living together. Three weeks. Possibly I could have reigned in my own Ali Larter back then!

Finding your mojo matters. Learning what fuels your own vibrant energy matters.

Is it family? Friends? Work? Learning? Rest? Reading? Kindness? Laughter? Ice cream? Sunshine? Movies? Travel? Security? Roast chicken? Poached eggs on sourdough? The perfect hydrangea?

For me, it’s all of it.

And when those things come together — that’s when I know I’m winning.

Happy January 26…

XX Ringo

Manifesting is a learned skill, one that I can honestly say, I am quite good at based on a well-documented history of events, to which many of the “luckies” can attest to. Hooking a holiday retail rental in prime location (next to a bakery, those were the days I allowed myself a pastie and a cream bun, boo hoo to those days gone by!!) doubling as a beach house for 3 months over summer, jagging numerous jobs throughout my career, lottery wins (albeit small but often timely), renting houses, children (I literally fengshuied my life to bring them here), astonishing sale items, holidays and often simple daily wins that bring a smile. You may notice I have not mentioned the male variety. I had a couple of malfunctioning manifestations along the way, requiring some fine tuning, and obvious “luckies” intervention/involvement as I cannot totally be trusted, but I am feeling confident about that future!

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Quite seriously I was introduced to “The Law of Attraction” by Esther and Jerry Hicks many years ago, a tool that explains how to use the law of attraction to manifest and create alignment in your life. It is an interesting read, and just one point of view. It promotes the power of positive thinking but most importantly, learning to control your thoughts. It makes sense to have positive thoughts rather than negative; guiding the choices you make every day.

Manifesting is a conscious way to shape your life. Many around me have designed vision boards for the upcoming 2026, to set their intentions, I love this and have started mine too. Neale Daniher’s special quote always springs to mind at the beginning of a new year; “You need something to do, someone to love and something to look forward to”. Such a simple life strategy to base your manifestations on.

Manifesting is different for us all. I like to keep mine aspirational but attainable, it prevents disappointment! It needs to encourage new patterns, disregarding ones that no longer serve. For me there must be an element of creativity, beauty, colour, texture, fun, travel, friends, family, fitness, health, discipline and growth. A Tiff Manuell painting pretty much sums up my visual manifestation, full of Australian beauty, exploding positivity, joy, clashing colour combinations, determination, creativity, texture, love and fun. Yes, I would be happy if someone described me as a Tiff Manuell painting! How wonderful!

I have golden memories of my Soph putting her vision board together, back in 2016. There was no “Canva” then, just the fun of tearing up magazines, finding quotes and a cork board, great school holiday entertainment! This was how we conjured up fashion collections back in the day, building new ranges from colour palettes, references lovingly kept for years from leading designers that would eventually be useful (I still have many of these), beautiful textile swatches from all over the world, trims and inspirational images that imbued the mood. Some of my happiest work memories.

Life is a vision board. It can be exactly what you want it to be. To create a visual reference, that reflects you, that you can look at every morning, a reminder of where you are heading, what you desire, the path you want to tread, is a great start to making it happen. Retrain the brain. A gentle rewiring, bringing attention, repetition, practicality, consistency, and belief to every day.

Have fun creating your path, I know I am!

XX Ringo XX

Fortunately, one of the “luckies” mentioned a process she had gone through in the past few days, encouraging me to write a list of 100 things you are grateful for. I thought this morning was as good a time as any to write it. To help reboot my mood. To recalibrate, oh and a few days on Kangaroo Island was just the place for it, thanks to yet another lucky! They do come in handy!

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It is now New Years Eve, and the gratitude list has served me well. What a brilliant process to embark upon, especially as we are welcoming a new year. 2026, is the year of the horse, so giddy up!

I wrote my list of 100 things I am grateful for over the past week. I found the first 60 items fell onto the page with ease, and surprising to say my ex chap made #1. Well, without him I would not have the enigmatic, happy, intelligent, fun, surf loving kids today, and I feel good about awarding him the prized gong, I mean I cannot take all the credit! Quite seriously for that chap I am very grateful.

I will share only a few with you as this process is to be cathartic, private and honest! Of course the offspring rate highly; for Sam, finally arriving after such a long wait, providing humour, such love, sprinkling joy wherever he goes, for his calm, stable outlook on life and providing wisdom and confidence, and for Sophie, my Boo, her natural beauty takes my breath away, for challenging and encouraging me to be adventurous, to be more disciplined, she is one to admire and makes me earn her love and respect, and I am ok with that.

For Jude, my northern star. Her unwavering positive attitude that only fails her infrequently. Her posture in life, beauty, grace and elegance, and a brilliant sense of humour. For Yaya, who ingrained a sense of hard work, drive to achieve, and that anything is possible, has all held me in good stead.

To appease my family, you all rated one after the other in the top 20 including all partners. You are my life; my cup really does overflow with gratitude for all you bring into my world. This process does make you reflect on the importance of family and for just being there for each other. Our Christmas Eve did reveal this. It was simple. A stunning meal prepared and shared together, our new rituals of storytelling and the cousin’s op shop dress up swaps, totally hilarious and I hope this tradition continues for years to come.

Back to the list. It is interesting to me what we are grateful for. I know everyone’s list will have its own twist, and I encourage you to do this in the first week of 2026. Mine has a heavy leaning towards the supreme luck of being born in Australia, my love of nature and the places I revisit on the coast, the hills, botanic gardens, a starry river night. Followed closely by a food theme full of roast chicken, smashed potatoes, crispy cold iceberg lettuce and Golden Gaytimes!

The “luckies” all rate highly, of course, with a common theme of them believing in me, whether it be supporting in my work, life decisions, moving houses, states, and the general raising of kids.

Then there are Ringo specific items such as prescription driving sunglasses, manicures, air conditioning, salt and pepper, reef oil, clean sheets, poached eggs on sourdough, cold water, coke, hydrangeas, massages, Nivea and the colour pink!

Looking at my list in total the overarching theme is my gratitude for human connection. I absolutely love the people in my tribe, the pleasure I get from just being in their space, hearing their news, watching them grow, travel, learn from their own life choices, is liquid gold to me. I feel incredibly grateful to be working every day with young people. They give me hope for our future, their drive to be different, to set a new agenda for work, life balance, success, is exciting to me and brings me joy every day.

Thank you, Annie, for sharing this process with me. It has set my 2026 on the exact path it should be. Like a horse, bolting to the finish line and hopefully the winning post! I feel ready for this year ahead.

Thank you all for your encouragement for another year of words from me, I love your feedback, messages and of course subscriptions!!

I hope 2026 is all you want it to be.

XX Ringo XX

My first thought was of my beautiful friend Eva, who lived there for so many years, who introduced me and my kids to Bondi. To not only the magnificence of one of our truly authentic Australian beaches, but also the neighbourhood where we have shared many a garlic prawn at Gelbison’s, ice creams, steaks at the surf lifesaving club, numerous walks and breakfasts in the garden at the Bondi Beach House, our favourite guest house filled with frangipani scented memories.

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I thought of Eva’s Dad, George. How relieved I am that he has passed and not had to witness this harrowing day in his neighbourhood.

My second thought was of the times I have sat innocently on that beach with my two, having spent the afternoon running in and out of the waves, the smiles, the laughter, pure joy and moments etched into our favourite holiday memories, often for me played on repeat as our happiest family times.

It is not my want or place to speak of gun laws, antisemitism, or our political leaders. There will be a plethora of experts sprouting their theories over the coming days, which I will happily tune out to.

My place is to speak of heroism, bravery, kindness and mostly love.

There are always heroes amongst us. Mostly unrecognised, humble, private. People that perform random acts of kindness, care or love for a fellow human being, without consideration of personal outcome, gain or applause. They do it because it seems the right thing to do.

They are my heroes. The people in our communities who raise money for the homeless, donate their time at soup kitchens, organise raffles for local primary schools that lack funds, sponsor children that need books or clothes for school, and often all the above, and generally people that don’t have as much as others, but still do.

They are the people I look up to, try and model my life on. To do something, to help someone.

I struggle with the commercialism of Christmas, the over indulged excess rather than a simple thought or offering to another human being. I have gone the thoughtful path this year. I have made some gifts. Have baked for friends. And it feels good. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a complete saint, I have still contributed to the bottom line of Mecca Cosmetica, and helped catapult Neil Daniher’s book “the Power of Choice” to #1 but I do aim to complete my Christmas wreath with simple acts of kindness, love and appreciation for those that I am lucky enough to lap around the sun with.

Sending love…

XX Ringo XX

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Not surprising there have been a few moments of, what am I doing here, and what is my purpose. Fortunately, one of the wise, more experienced “luckies” quietly mentioned I should lean into it and give myself permission to embrace this new life of mine.

Lucky for me Matthew McConaughey landed in my lap, well his book at least, called “Green Lights”, a brilliant reminder to follow the green lights in life. I had been on this path for some time, so when the first green light lit, on a random trip to Melbourne, a brief meeting with my now new boss, the lights were already green.

Many of us shy away from change, taking an easier path, a less rocky road. Change is good. But it is not for the faint hearted. One thing I have learnt is you need to keep calm and keep moving during immense change. Structure, routine and discipline, not things I have had in plentiful reserve in the past (!!), however, have been welcomed tools, to help challenge the status quo. Weekly rituals form solid strategies, meals with friends and family, walks around the Botanic Gardens with my hilarious god daughter, has kept me laughing at crucial times, and trips to the fresh markets at the beginning of each weekend.

Once you push aside moments of anxiety and doubt, and reclaim your autonomy, the benefits appear. We find out what we are really made of, how strong and capable we can be, it is just a pivot. One green light often follows another. Whether it is work, new opportunities, learning new skills, taking on projects you never had the confidence to start. I am predicting a flurry of new activities in early 2026, pickleball being at the top of the list, learning Italian, and perhaps I will join a library chess club! Why not – it could be the new dating site!

“Being alone can be horrible at times, but necessary, and actually kind of wonderful.”Great words from Hannah Waddingham, the formidable powerhouse in “Ted Lasso”. There is no sugar coating leaving close family and friends. It is tough. Period. I am resorting to letter writing to my mum, Jude, like I used to. Phones are overrated, the written word is in order, bring back the air letter I say! Communication is key post making a master move and exiting my entire life. Thank goodness for multiple communication platforms. Currently in use are WhatsApp, Facebook, Messenger, Facetime (generally by accident!), Insta Message, Email, Text, Spotify, and Air Drop. I do think my preference is writing. Lucky for me, I have this platform, many birds with one stone!

Until next time….

XX Ringo XX

I have spoken to many friends and work colleagues and there seems to be a consistent theme of Christmas dread, practically a national sport, of growing participation. The pressure to present a flawless family facade, the financial strain, the overeating and over drinking that all tends to culminate in festive debates, often featuring opinions that are ignorant, outdated, and emotionally booby-trapped. Hardly the stuff of “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.”

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A great deal of this could be avoided with a simple idea: a pre-Christmas family briefing circulated a fortnight beforehand. A friendly reminder of what topics should be avoided at all costs, and a gentle nudge that not everything needs to be aired, especially when sharp carving knives are within reach! In these moments, perhaps it’s safer to belt out “Silent Night” rather than launch into tricky conversations with unsolicited opinions.

Back to the family briefing. It is actually not such a terrible idea. Set some ground rules. Ban the guaranteed conversational landmines: absolutely no politics, finances, inheritances (or lack thereof), promotions, investments, marriages past or pending, relationships of any kind, contentious children, missing heirlooms, dubious relatives or, for the love of all things holy, dead family pets; I do miss Kevin, my goldfish. Keep things light, bright, and breezy. Stick to food, wine, movies, and humorous family stories, the safe kind of banter that keeps things on the straight and narrow. And if you sense things drifting into unchartered waters, retreat, retreat!

A no-gift policy is worth considering, too. Christmas has become insanely commercial, and while Kris Kringle is a popular compromise, it’s essentially polite tokenism. Instead, skip the gifts altogether. Spend your money on stunning local produce, visit the markets, cook or bake together, and soften the chaos with a glass of bubbles.

As I write this, I’m watching one of the great American Christmas films, The Family Stone, a portrait of a loving family wrapped in comedic dysfunction. It paints the picture of the big, warm, chaotic clan many of us hoped for growing up. Some nailed it; many didn’t.

The pressure to achieve the commercially curated version of “family” can place enormous strain on one and all. Family is simply the group of humans with whom you share a sense of belonging, safety, history and reliability, whether they are related to you or chosen by you. It’s where we learn about love, imperfection, forgiveness, boundaries and the cut of our own emotional gib. Family is a process of giving and receiving, rarely perfectly balanced, not always seamless, but generally grounded in good intention.

It helps to revisit the true meaning of Christmas. Religious or not, at its core Christmas is about generosity, gratitude, peace, and renewal. Not hope, I’ve been told hope is not a strategy!

It is a chance to pause, show kindness to others, surround ourselves with people who make our lives rich, not just by blood, but by choice. For me they are the “luckies,” my ride or dies. The ones I laugh with, lean on, and celebrate with, year after year.

In the end, Christmas is just a day. You get to choose how you meet it. For me, it will be a mix of family and friends. A chance to breathe, slow down, enjoy the beauty of an Australian Christmas. A dip in the ocean with my kids, their cousins, aunties and uncle; a chilled glass of champagne, prawns, cherries and home-made brandy sauce with toffee and ice cream. Honestly, if that’s not Christmas, I don’t know what is!

Find your Joy! Follow your Bliss…..

XX Ringo XX

I announced to one of the “luckies” on the weekend that I have writers block and was subsequently encouraged to pen the pre relationship break up. Bingo! As often happens to me I have my own Spotify playlist going off in my head and immediately went to a George Michael tune of “wake me up before you go go”, re mixed to “break us up before we go go!”

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Without sounding big headed or conceited, I just don’t have time for any relationship that is not peaking - male, female, young or old. I have potentially 25 festive seasons left, and I plan on making them spectacular. I have recently become Dua Lipa obsessed, I know I am late to the game here, but WOW what an inspiring powerhouse from music, dance, fitness, but most impressively with how she lives her life, as if on holidays every day. There is no doubt at all she is a worker, her “joie de vivre” is contagious. I was told the story by my well informed god daughter how she met her boyfriend. Reading in a library! She noticed a fella reading the same book, discussed this and then realised they had both just finished the same chapter to which she said, “well clearly we are on the same page.” I mean what a line! Clearly, I am heading straight to the State library…..

At 57 years old I am embracing my inner Dua Lipa and going full tilt into maximising life. I have mostly been good at this however I am taking things up a notch. Living in one of the greatest cities in the world I am fully immersing myself into the gardens, art scene, live performance, markets, restaurants, entertaining, galleries, retail, health, fitness and sport. A lot of this I do joyfully solo, but equally I am enjoying many experiences with my friends across the ages.

Getting back to the pre relationship break up. Pleasant enough but not peaking. I need to feel enthused, captivated, intrigued, curious, challenged, connected, but mostly, to actually be bothered. It has been a great reminder of self-exploration and personal growth. To push myself creatively out of my comfort zone and attempt new things. Which takes me to making my Christmas gifts this year. I am positive my daughter is shrieking right now, but perhaps I can surprise her. I feel a creative renaissance building. Mixed mediums of print, pattern, and paint. Inspired by one of the creative luckies, I am going to use this time to try new things. With 45 days until Christmas, I feel that is ample time to design and create personal gifts for my lot. It may also include an element of sustainable shopping, code for if the creative outburst fails, I will resort to preloved purchasing!

I also plan to limit the Christmas investment this year. The overspend just makes me plain grumpy, so to avoid the grinch like posture I am capping the per person allocation to $50, this may be a combination of a Ringo classic plus preloved purchase or straight purchase. It is the luck of the creative draw! So, with my newly painted red nails, apparently a true sign of availability and striking independence, I am embracing the festive season with full intention of it being a wonderful experience. Ho Ho to that!

Follow your bliss sisters…..

XX Ringo XX

I have just experienced the most spectacular Saturday despite my appalling sleep and being awake since 2.30am. I am well versed in waking at ungodly hours, so I no longer resist it. If my counting backwards from 30 technique does not work within five minutes, I get up, make tea, read, take in a show (the Diplomat or Slow Horses, brilliant), watch the hot air balloons go over the gardens at the crack of dawn, and then get up.

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Recently I have found myself at the centre of numerous conversations. People concerned/interested in my joy of being happily self-partnered! There was a flurry of phone calls when I decided to go on a date. Which was lovely, enjoyable, and I was home by 8.30pm! Perfect. It did cross my mind; maybe he had another date that evening! I was relieved to have been allocated the early time slot, as I was home in time to watch the latest episode of Morning Wars, also brilliant!

Where am I going with this you may ask. Nowhere. Well not entirely true. I have experienced wonderful love in my life from a variety of males, who seemed to be happy with the version of me I presented at the time, but I am just not convinced that anyone is really going to live up to previous relations. As my most recent date imparted, it is a numbers game. Well, I am a bit concerned, my numbers may have already come up!

What I realised on this glorious Saturday, after I languished in bed drinking cups of tea that turned into coffee, read all preferred media commentaries, went to the gym, chatted with offspring, had nails done, shopped at my local market, cleaned, washed, gardened, read, went for a long walk through the most spectacular city gardens, cooked a succulent steak avec pomme frites et salade, spent the evening writing, listening to my favourite Raye soundtrack, it is going to take an extraordinary someone to knock me off my own pedestal! This is me, living the best accidental version of myself, loving the fact I can see illuminated skyscrapers from my writing room, on a Saturday night, with a glass of Pinot Noir close by! Full Carrie Bradshaw style!

There still seems to be so much chatter about those choosing singledom. WE ARE FINE! Trust me. I often wake up in the morning and shriek with joy that there is no one on the other side of the bed!

My home has always been the centre of my universe. Now in a much smaller footprint, I have all my favourite objects, books, flowers, paintings, photos around me, that are the constant reminder of a wonderful, happy life lived.

When you have experienced wonderful love, perfect companionship, the meeting of intelligent minds with motivating, often hilarious and scintillating conversations, you don’t seek it. You accept you may have had it, and perhaps that is ok. What is crucial however, are those you have gathered to be in your tribe. I have been committed to the “luckies” recruitment process since I was 15 years old, excluding my sister Kiki, who apparently was very happy when I turned up three years after her! The “luckies” are a combination of mainly women and a few brilliant men. These are the ones I currently share my life with. They provide many funny conversations, mainly at my expense, the planning of numerous holidays, celebrations, sharing a mutual love of our children, books, superannuation scenarios, music (my latest favourite being Raye’s “Where the Hell is My Husband!) recipes, relationship disasters (not mine!) and ageing parents.

I thought I would check with the most reliable of global sources, you know who – and apparently the chances of finding love in your late 50’s is, well, high! WOW! Fortunately love looks kind of different in your 50’s, mainly because we have cemented our best versions, are not prepared to compromise on principles, we are calmer, less financially stressed, more authentic to the cause, and aware of the things that truly matter; connection, companionship, laughter, intelligent conversations, continued learning, respect and hopefully good love.

You do need to open your heart. I had this exact chat with myself today on my walk. Open your heart girl, be brave, you just never know! I do trust the Universe implicitly on this.

I am comfortable finally with the current version of me. I feel softer, less hectic, less some might say demanding, and most importantly content. Either way, life is grand, so we’ll just have to wait and see…

Follow your bliss people…..

XX Ringo XX

Right now, we are failing our young teenagers and young adults. Too often the blame for rising anxiety is pinned squarely on social media. Yet what many in older generations don’t grasp is that these platforms are, for better or worse, part of how young people connect. It’s where they socialise, share ideas, and build friendships.

Yes, trolling and bullying exist online, and those behaviours must be eliminated, but to say social media is solely responsible for the fear and unease many young people carry is too simplistic.

I spend much of my time surrounded by 16 – 26 year olds, my absolute happy place. I’ve watched them go for hours without looking at their phones, because they are engaged with learning at work, or in lively face to face discussions. They connect through sport, music and conversation. I see a generation unafraid to question the status quo, eager to live differently to those before them.

University is no longer the only path. Work-life balance. They’ll happily step outside on a sunny day to kick a football with colleagues, knowing it will make them feel better, not worse, at their jobs. And I applaud them for it.

They look at the 30 – 40 year olds, stretched thin by mortgages, HECS debts up the wahzoo, chasing the Australian dream of home ownership and material manifestation, and they do not want a bar of it. They see the stress, anxiety and sadness and say a big fat no.

Instead, they are questioning the systems that do make them anxious: the housing crisis, job insecurity in the age of AI and the overwhelming weight of climate change.

We need solutions, realistic ones with tangible impact. We need to get noisy, to stop shrugging our shoulders and accepting “that’s how it’s always been.”

Take housing. Gen Z are already leading the way with friends, sharing costs, living more communally. We should learn from this. Me included. With a housing crisis on our hands and so many people living alone, surely, we need to rethink how we live together.

Take jobs. We must shift the narrative from AI replacing jobs to AI replacing tasks within jobs. Companies and governments should spotlight skill shortages, invest in apprenticeships, lower cost of online and workplace learning, and support the development of broad, transferable skills that work across industries.

And climate change, well that is a hairy chestnut if I ever saw one. But it is also where every individual can step up. Start small. Try this for a week:

- Walk instead of driving

- Take a train instead of a plane

- Turn off appliances at night

- Put on a jumper instead of the heater

- Eat less red meat

- Reduce food waste by meal prep

- Buy local and seasonal

- Buy less, repair, re-use, recycle

- Invest in sustainable brands

- Plant a tree

- Embrace time in nature

We can’t reverse the climate crisis, but we can slow it down. If we’re brave enough to take responsibility and have the conversation.

So yes, I feel hopeful. Hope alone is not a strategy, that I know, but it is a spark. Paired with action it can become a force. With a few tweaks, and perhaps taking a lead from Gen Z, I can see a future with more sunshine, more footballs kicked in the park, more balance, a feeling of content.

Looks like I am on the hunt for a flat mate! Ha!

Follow your bliss….

XX Ringo